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#i am extremely distraught about it
anime-academia · 16 days
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"My son, Michio, never called out for me or his mother. Until his very last breath he clasped one of your letters to his breast. It was you, and you alone, he kept asking for."
-The Demon of the Lonely Isle, Edogawa Rampo (trans. Alexis J Brown, 2022)
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boonsandwhatever · 8 months
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I forgive you
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snarltoothed · 11 months
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i need to be in a female separatist psych ward but alas they don’t exist! and as such i will continue being a problem
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anjukoneko · 1 year
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I strongly believe being truly, actually loved for once in my fucking life would fix/heal a good portion of what's wrong with me, possibly even the majority. Tragic that it looks like that'll never happen lmao.
#guess I'll just be fucked up and broken and insane until i die#I'm so emotionally drained and distraught rn sorry guys#it's probably because i started a new medication a couple of days ago tbh#I'm rather hurt at how my bestie has been treating me#actually im extremely hurt with how most of the important people in my life have been treating me#I'm tired of always being enthusiastic about their lives and asking questions and building them up#and doing them favors and going out of my way to help and doing sweet/thoughtful things to help ease their daily burdens#and not even being met with a FRACTION of that energy back. nor even any real appreciation#and yeah i dont do these things to get anything in return. i do them because i love these people and i want to show them that#but yall it HURTS being taken for granted in nearly every. fucking. relationship/friendship#and at a certain point it most definitely feels like I'm being used#but the sad thing is people are so self absorbed they probably dont even see it#it depresses me but i feel like my only purpose on earth is to lift up and inspire those around me#while simultaneously being doomed to never receive the love i crave and provide for others#why am i always loving others? why am i so full of love if no one will love me back?#why do i have to suffer this way? what kind of excruciating divine punishment is this?#am i truly so repulsive and undesirable? truly so uninteresting and boring? worthless? my only value is to serve others?#anju speaks#venting#dumb personal shit
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bigben-810 · 8 months
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every fucking time i get into something new and it later becomes a hyperfixation , i get a art block . no matter how much i want to draw the characters from the media im into i cant just . pour out an art piece , putting all my dedication and love for this new found interest that will alter and change me forever , giving me a long lasting impact that ill most likely never forget . even a quick sketch of one of my favourites would make me so happy , why xant i jsut do it then ? i cant just keep consuming others media and the offical media forever , so I have to make my own to feed and gnaw off on . this is going to be the next thing that im going to be ONLY thinking about for the next months . all videos / songs related will play endlessly on loop as loud as possible , but not enough to the point I get annoyed . little scenarios of the characters included will play on a little mental projector 25 / 8 . everything will become a reference to it , and will be related to it aswell , even if its extremely farfetched and strange . i will shut about it , and itll be my main topic when it comes to conversinf with others , and if it isnt , then ill zone and tune out , even if i dont want to . my main focus is only that , so why can draw it kn thd beginning ?! i need to let my feelings out , but unfortunately due to fears that pressure me into a corner . what if i mischaracterize ? what if it doesnt look like / similar to canon ? what if it doesnr look likd their most common fanon portrayal / how most other fanartist draw them ? what if it doesnt meet how I see thdm in my head ? and a fuckton more . i already burn myself out before ive even created the drawing , why am i likd this ?!?! i just need to put my index finger onto that cracked 4 year old screen , or my stolen mechanical pencil from afew months onto that cheap , 2 year old paper , turn my eyes and most of my brain onto autopilot , leaving only the creative parts and the side thats producing all my thoughts revolving arounf my fixation , and let my brain guide my finger , not letting my eyes fully comprehend what in the fucking world im even creating .
but i cant because i already had an art block in my last hyperfixation : """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" )
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nordarknessdimsthesky · 7 months
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A linguistic analysis of tumblr hyperbole in the tags
This post expands my previous analysis of hyperbolic reactions to cluster tags by themes. There were too many themes, some of them overlapping, to create a cohesive graph. Instead, I present several overarching themes from a data set of 50 tags observed and documented in various corners of tumblr.
1. Feeling Normal™️
Tags within this cluster profess Normal feelings (read: extreme excitement, enthusiasm, obsession, derangement, etc.).
#mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #absolutely not rending my clothing #feeling very normal and not feral at all #i will simply never recover #gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i can't cope #the eyes #i'm a puddle #i am INCONSOLABLE #i am DISTRAUGHT #IM NOT OKKAAAAAAYYYYYY #FEELING TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL
2. Feralness
The following data points conjure animalistic behavior. There’s a non-zero amount of biting and chewing involved.
#chomping biting barking #biting my arms off #rattling my cage #[incoherent biting noises] #chewing glass #chewing through wood #*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!! #climbing the walls #biting gnawing chewing #im gonna rip off my front door and eat it
3. Noisy Emotional Outbursts
These tags encompass crying, screaming, yelling, and other loud reactions.
# shaking sobbing crying #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #*no thoughts only wailing* #i am SOBBING #IM CRYING LIKE A BITCH #*just fucking yelling* #S C R E A M #screeching into a pillow #brb sobbing for 5-7 business years
4. Throwing
All of these tags except the last one involve being thrown instead of throwing things. I, personally, am entertained by the range of places/situations people are throwing themselves into.
#i am going to THROW MYSELF into the SEA #hurl me into the sea #hurl me into the sun #trebuchet me into the sun #hurl me straight at europa #vent me out of an airlock #slam me against a wall #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #throwing myself into traffic you know? #just defenestrate me already #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass #i'm going to start tossing furniture
5. Bodily Harm
There’s a good deal of overlap with the previous theme. Nearly all of the tags involving throwing would result in varying degrees of bodily harm. Here are the tags outside of the Throwing subgroup.  
#im going to throw upppppp #tearing my hair out #banging my head against the wall #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #biting my arms off #microwaving myself #crumple me up and microwave me
6. Absurdism
My personal favorite cluster. The imagery conjured and resulting comedic hyperbole is just [chef’s kiss].
#im gonna rip off my front door and eat it #crumple me up and microwave me #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass
7. Keysmashes
These tags center less around meaning and more around style, so they form the last group. A handful of these could fall under Noisy Emotional Outbursts because they represent reaction noises. In my linguistic judgment, keysmashing increases the hyperbole – consider augh versus aughfhghghghhh – the latter reads as prolonged and more intense emotionally.
#aghdjakgsjadhjaka * #hrhrhrhgnnnghhhhh #aughfhghghghhh #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #waughfhghghh #oughhhhghghhh
*one digression in a friend discord server was how people interpret keysmashes in their minds. Some hear the first couple letters and then some sputtering, others hear static. It’s a common joke that you need a minor in linguistics to understand conversations in this friend group. Such is the nature of things when the chaos linguist energy is strong.
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9192738391 · 2 months
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helpless
alexia putellas x teen!reader
You may have in fact read this before as i am reposting old work
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Your phone rang softly, you paused your conversation with mapi to answer it, stepping to the side you said a cheerful “hello?” 
“Hello y/n, My name is Jorge Vilda. I’m calling to inform you that you’ve been called up for the world cup” you couldn’t speak. If there was ever a moment that you felt your world breaking this would be it. “y/n?” 
“Oh-ah Thank you..” you responded shakily, mapi raising her eyebrow at your sudden change in body language. “My team will send you the details. I’m looking forward to seeing you again y/n” Your body shook. It physically shook. You could not face him again, your first callup for the national team was horrible. You felt trapped, isolated from your friends, from your family, you felt utterly alone. The national team’s training left you feeling exhausted. They pushed you so far you could barely breathe. “y/n? y/n what's wrong Osita?” you whimpered, tears pooled  in your eyes as memories of your harsh treatment flooded in. “I-I’ve been called up for the world cup..” mapi let out a harsh sigh wrapping her arms around you tightly. You practically collapsed, if it weren’t for mapi you would have fallen straight onto the floor. She slowly brought the two of you onto the ground as she pulled you impossibly closer. “I can’t maps…..I can’t do it..not again” if mapi wasn’t already crying, she was now.
 Her heart cracked at your words. You were so young, in age and your career. She remembers the day you came back after your first call up. You were extremely pale, exhausted and could barely stand. She remembers how little things set you off, No locks on doors, cameras, one on one talks even just eating made you tense up. “It’s ok Pequeñita, we’ll figure something out ok?” she ran her hands through your hair softly. 
Word had soon gotten around about your call up. Each player letting out helpless sighs and annoyed huffs. They couldn’t imagine how you would be after the world cup, would it be the same? Or even worse. You were always so cheerful, so full of energy but after your call up… you were a stranger. They had all worked so hard to get you back to how you normally were. Each player putting in extra effort from small things like pina tying your laces when they came undone on the pitch from big things like alexia insisting you live with her for a couple months because it is “easier” for you to get to training
. Alexia had tried everything to make sure you wouldn’t get called up. She hated the thought of you at the national camp. The look of utter desperation in your eyes as you were once again  pulled to the side, as you were once again sat next to Jorge as you became a victim of such harsh treatment at such a young age. She had thought she made sure that you wouldn’t……until she saw the post. Alexia had dreaded looking at this instagram post. The list. She skimmed through it quickly before she saw it. y/n y/l/n. Alexia dropped her phone..She couldn’t bare to look at it. She was distraught, instantly a wave of fear and anxiety washed over her. How could she let this happen? She felt helpless knowing she couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t fight it. She couldn’t do anything, your fate was sealed as soon as Jorge layed eyes on you. She couldn’t handle the feeling of   being utterly useless, you meant so much to her. You were her little sister…, the baby of the team,.... everyone's favorite but most of all you were her pequeño ángel. You were so caring, so small, so kind - something rfef took advantage of. Alexia silently promised herself she would protect every way she could. It was the only thing she could do in her distressed state. She would protect you with everything she had.
A month later you were standing in the departures section in the airport. You smiled a mapi softly tears already forming in your eyes as she brought you into a tight embrace. 
“I’m scared mapi” 
“It’s going to be ok” 
And with that away you went to your first world cup at age 16. 
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Entering the camp was one of the hardest things you had ever had to do. Stepping into a place that had caused you so much pain, so many tears it felt impossible. You froze as you saw him, subconsciously tucking yourself into the side of Alexia as he approached you. “Y/n! It’s great to see you” he said, extending his arms for you to give him a hug. Alexia’s grip tightened around you as she gave him a soft smile.You nodded plastering on a fake smile, as alexia brought the two of you away from Jorge. Quickly Alexia leaned down whispering into your ear, “I’m here ok? If anybody is acting weird and you don’t feel safe, you come to me. Understood?” Alexia was using her stern captain voice, something you only really heard when she was giving a team talk. You nodded slowly, her words brought you some comfort. Some. You knew it would be rough, It always was but it never felt this hard. You had never really told anyone about what happened at your first camp
 All anyone knew is you were constantly isolated from the rest of the team. You had slipped a couple sentences to mapi one night but assumed she was too tired to pick up what you were telling her. You told her how they pushed you so far you could barely speak, the words they told you, how you felt so alone, how your world collapsed. Mapi often thought of that night, she thought of what she would have done if she was at the camp..what she would have done in your position. She couldn’t imagine being so young and facing such harsh treatment. You were determined this time you wouldn’t let them break you. You were stronger, fitter you could face it this time you knew you could. Or so you thought. 
The world cup started and you were exhausted. You trained endlessly, played every minute of every game, you were constantly tired. 
You knew it would be the same. You told yourself it wouldn’t be. But deep down you knew, it would be the exact same. Your days were scheduled, each one felt endless. 
6:00 am - wake up 
7:00 am - breakfast 
8:00am - training with team 
11:00 am - lunch 
12:00pm -  solo training 
3:00pm - physio 
4:00pm - media/media training 
7:00pm - dinner 
8:00pm  - solo workout/streches 
9:30pm - bed
Your schedule was different to the rest of the girls. You noticed it immediately, but chose to stay quiet. Alexia was busy, constantly doing something, training, media,physio. You barely talked. You felt yourself slipping. Alexia was trying, she really was..but they had made it nearly impossible for you two to interact. Slowly you started shutting down. You became quiet, slow, exhausted. You cried most nights, wishing that you would wake up from this 3 month long nightmare you couldn’t escape. You thought of mapi, you thought of ingrid and of lucy and keira. You thought of what they were doing, What was happening in their lives. You had stopped talking. You went completely silent. You couldn’t speak. You were closed off from the team. You ate separately, trained separately you never saw the girls. Jorge was basically holding you hostage. Alexia became worried, she hadn’t seen you in at least a week.She had asked repeatedly to see you. But after many failed chances she gave up. She hoped with every bone in your body that you were safe, that you were still you. She needed you to be safe. They had taken your phone, your privacy, everything. Everything you did as a staff member was present, they walked you to and from buildings, to your bedroom, then woke you up in the morning. It had been a month you couldn’t think, you were completely cut off from society. Jorge had pulled you out of the team for “mental health reasons” also claiming you had “hurt your knee” in private training so the team wouldn't get too agitated. You stayed hopeful telling yourself alexia would be there soon. She would be there to save you, to take you away from this nightmare. 
Alexia was in pieces herself. She missed you more than anything in the world, each night she wished for you to be back in her arms, safe where she could protect you. She thought of you every minute of every day.She couldn’t bare the feeling that she had let you down, that she could have helped and she didn't. . A week had passed. It was the day before the world cup final, you were finally allowed to train with the rest of the team. When you arrived at breakfast alexia practically ran up to you bringing you into her chest tightly. She held you close, kissing you head before whispering so soft you could barely understand her. “I am so happy you're safe, Are you ok pequeño ángel? You mumbled a quick “no '' you knew you couldn’t lie to Alexia, besides you were too tired to make up an excuse . Alexia nodded she hoped this wouldn’t happen but mapi had warned her about this, repeatedly instructing her to do one thing. 
Keep Y/n Safe. 
She kept you close all day. She held your hand as you walked from building to building, drawing shapes on the back of your hand with her finger. Every time a staff member approached she was there, hand placed on your back, arm wrapped around your shoulder sometimes even placing herself in front of you..In what seemed like an attempt to shield you from them. After 3 months of camp you didn’t feel safe until that night. You had snuck into her room after lights out, snuggling into her as she held you close. “One more day ángel…just one more day” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. 
The day of the final was hard. You were informed early on that you wouldn’t be starting. You felt useless, you had been training for weeks, pushing yourself so far and now after all that effort you lost your starting position. You blew silent shaky breaths as you sat in the change room, Alexia tried to comfort you. She silently braided your hair - just how ingrid used to, placing a loving kiss to your head before moving away from you to change. The girls tried to speak to you, but you never responded. Your eyes were fixed on the floor. Truthfully you missed the barca girls, although many of them were here with you, you missed them. You missed Lucy's laugh, Keira's awkward smile, pina and patri’s pranks and most of all you missed mapi. Alexia meant so much to you, she was always there when you needed her but because of your isolation, you couldn't help but feel somewhat abandoned. You knew Alexia loved you, she hugged you before walking you out to the bench - something she wasn’t supposed to do, but you could tell she felt guilty. 
The first half  felt quick, like it had gone by in a matter of seconds. Jorge informed you that you'd be going on the second half and you nodded. You felt anxious as you stepped onto the pitch, double checking you laces - as pina wasn’t there to tie them, before whispering softly to yourself. 
“For mapi..” 
The second half was hard, England grew frustrated as they tried and tried to score with no success. They became increasingly agitated, each player becoming more and more aggressive by the minute. Spain was given a corner kick and you got into position, normally you would be at the front because of your height, but chose to go further into the middle. You watched as the ball swished through the air, as you lifted off your feet in attempts to make contact with it. Suddenly you fell, a large weight coming down on you slamming you into the floor. You cried out in pain as an elbow connected with your face. You sat up, pain building in your cheek as you attempted to open your eyes.  “y/n?” you blinked hastily, lifting you hand to your face, feeling blood drip down your cheek. “y/n are you alright?” you looked up at the player who had hit you.
 It was Alexia. 
Alexia felt sick, she chose to ignore how you were positioned trusting she wouldn’t fall down on you. But as she collided with an English player she couldn’t help but stumbled back onto whatever or whoever was behind her. Blood stained your jersey as it dropped down off your cheek. “I’m fine I’m fine” you told her repeatedly as she attempted to help you up. 
The game continued until the final whistle when the crowd erupted with Spanish players celebrating loudly as English players dropped to the floor. You watched as Lucy, your teammate fell to the floor. You didn’t celebrate instead walking over to each English player comforting and offering kind words. Alexia looked over at you smiling softly, she didn’t expect you to celebrate. You were always the kindest  person in the room, you never celebrated your wins, you were always comforting those facing losses. After a while the ceremony started, forcing you to leave Lucy's side momentarily. 
You walked over to alexia,  jumping onto her back shouting ‘LA REINAAAAAAA” She laughed turning around to properly hug you. They called each player one by one. You followed after alexia taking the medal gratefully. She held you close to her, making it so you were just behind your back. You watched as she was hugged tightly and kissed (on the cheek) by  the Spanish government. She had made sure  the most they could do was shake your hand. She put herself in between you. She didn't want them to touch you, she didn't want their slimy hands to touch your gentle skin. She knew you liked the princess, you talked about her alot always complimenting her outfits and talking about when she would take over the throne. Alexia  stepped to the side so you could hug the princess smiling as she kissed your head, thanking you for your service . You smiled happily as you exited the stage. 
“Alexia?” 
“Mhm?” she leant down. You took this as an opportunity to wrap your arms around her neck, bringing yourself into her chest.
 “Thank you” you whispered softly. She smiled pulling you close, “anytime ángel”
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SEND ME PROMPTS PLEASE
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justporo · 7 months
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Astarion owns property in my head at this point. Can I request for Astarion and Tav where they finally settle down after everything with the Absolute is over and has finally calmed down, and Tav immediately gets extremely sick. Nothing deadly, but still severe. After all the stress from the tadpoles and fighting for their lives, Tav's body kinda just gives out. I'd imagine Astarion would be at a complete loss at taking care of someone, let alone someone that sick lol probably gets scared they're dying too
Oh, Anon, I feel you. It's not that he lives in my head rentfree, no! He owns the building and makes ME pay the rent by now...
This request resonates a lot with me, today, because I'm frankly barely holding on atm, my stomach's acting up and I can't wait for the finishline for this week... so I too could actually use some Astarion taking care of me - although if that might help? Let's see! (Spoilers ahead)
This is pure ridiculous fluff btw. And thank you for the sweet request!
Pairing: Astarion / GN!Tav (You) Wordcount: 1,5k
Strawberry Sugar High
You hadn't left the bed for the better part of a week and you felt you had contracted most every kind of ailment that one could suffer from under this sun. You felt shaky and dizzy. Your limbs hurt and felt weak. Your stomach was in a weird limbo of feeling strange and barely allowing you to keep anything down. Radiating heatwaves making your whole body sweat came and switched places with icy chills so even the coziest of blankets couldn't stop you from shivering. You were down bad - and Astarion almost scaled the walls not knowing what to do with you or how to take care of you.
"My sweet, I brought you...", Astarion started to announce cheerfully as he opened the door to your bedroom with a bowl and a steaming mug in his hands. Then he saw how you had hogged every possible piece of fabric in your giant joint bed and had wrapped yourself in it. At the sight of it, Astarion's shoulders slumped visibly and with it his procured goods - which almost caused scorching hot tea to splash on the floor.
“…some fruit and tea”, he finished audibly distraught and walked over to sit somewhat next to where you had rolled up into a mess of sheets and blankets and were silently shivering. He carefully placed down mug and bowl on the nightstand before he turned to the pile that you had become.
“I really thought you were getting better, my love!” The sad and suffering puppy eyes he made at you almost made you think he was the one to be worried about.
“Y-you say t-that every-ytime you le-leave the room and co-ome back, A-Astarion”, you replied through shattering teeth which sadly took the edge off of your snide remark.
“I know, love. Because every time I hope you might would have started to feel better. But you’ve been like this for almost a week and yet no improvement in sight. You have me worried sick!”, he dramatically explained.
The shivers temporarily left your body to allow you to give Astarion a death stare – the audacity of this man. “I am so terribly sorry that I dare put you through th-this. Now please h-hand me the t-tea!”, you sarcastically replied and worked your hands out of the mountain of blankets to stretch them out towards the nightstand where the vampire had placed the mug.
Astarion handed you the mug. “Careful, it’s scorching ho…”, he said while you grabbed it from him and placed your palms around the hot ceramic and sighed at the bliss of warmth.
Astarion stared at you as if you had turned into an ox.
You took in the smell of the fresh brew and sighed again – pine needles, mint, chamomile, and a hint of lavender. You took a sip slowly because it was actually really hot and closed your eyes for a second. The hot drink temporarily made you feel better.
“You really got the right mixture down now, Astarion, thank you!”, you said as you opened your eyes again and smiled broadly at the vampire who had swung his legs onto the bed and crossed them by the ankles – bare feet sticking out of the pant legs – to sit beside you. At your compliment his face lit up, his eyes filling with sincere joy.
“Well, I’m happy to hear I am proficient at taking care of you, my sweet sick darling”, he said and raised one of his eyebrows in arrogant manner. “Well, let’s not forget the time when you didn’t strain the pine needles or when you tried to make mushroom soup and created bile”, you replied to his cocky demeanour and then took another sip of tea. The shivers were really calming down now.
Astarion’s mouth became a straight line. “Well, I am sorry, but it’s been over two hundred years since I last had to know my way around a kitchen – you’d be surprised how easily forgotten mundane things are”, he pouted but stretched out his arm to rub circles on your back – or what he thought must be your back under the thick padding of fabric.
You were fairly certain, Astarion had never really known his way around a kitchen, but you really didn’t want to rub it in since he was actually trying so hard to take care of you. And he had really been worried sick about you since it seemed he had also forgotten how much impact even a rather harmless sickness could have on a mortal body.
“Feeling better now?”, Astarion asked while he kept rubbing your back. This time there wasn’t a hint of sarcasm or arrogance in his tone, just a sincere, caring question.
“I am. Thank you, my heart”, you answered and turned a bit to him to give him another smile. “I guess after everything that happened my body was just in dire need of a break – and now forced me to take it. I guess in a few days I’ll be merrily dallying around again”, you spoke as you looked at Astarion but then spied past him to where you had seen something of interest in the bowl he had brought.
“I’m happy to hear that, my sweet, because I don’t know…”, the vampire replied with a smile then furrowed his brows as he saw your focus shift past him and you leaned to look behind him. He made to lean with you. “My beautiful eyes are up here, my love”, he murmured playfully.
But you craned your neck now to see what it was he had brought you – broad shoulders and handsome face be damned. “Gods, are those strawberries?” “Indeed, sweetheart.”
Your mouth opened and you stared at Astarion in anticipation: “Where did you get them? Those are not in season for a few more months! I love strawberries, they’re my favourite fruit, no, food!” Your eyes gleamed at the vampire who replied with a smug grin: “I know, darling. I am actually a good listener in case you hadn’t noticed yet.”
You stretched to give him a kiss which almost resulted in you falling over and spilling all of the remaining tea. Your heart filled with an incredible amount of joy – not only because there were strawberries to be had, but because you felt so seen by your soulmate. You smiled at Astarion. “Indeed, you are”, you happily cheered him. He smiled back just as warmly.
“I got them from a place where they magically empower the crops. It did almost cost me an arm and the rest of my dignity though, but here we are”, he explained jokingly to which you raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him.
“Feed me!”, you then demanded excitedly when he didn’t spill any more details. To which the vampire grinned even more broadly, showing his sharp fangs in the process. “Oh love, I am more than happy to indulge you in this pleasant reversal of roles”, he crooned and turned around to grab the bowl of fruit while you kept sipping on your herbal tea.
He grabbed one of the deep red fruits and slowly lifted it to your already excitedly opened mouth. You were almost salivating, as Astarion offered you the berry, holding it elegantly in his long, slender fingers. The fruit almost touched your lips, but then, at the last possible moment: the vampire flicked it in his own mouth with his thumb.
Your mouth stayed open but now in a desperate expression while Astarion chewed. His facial expression became confused then pleasantly surprised, not even looking at you for a moment. “Oh dear, these are actually rather good. I had almost also forgotten how good these taste. I haven’t eaten a strawberry in forever.” He gave a quick high-pitched laugh while still looking a bit confused. This certainly had awoken a memory he had probably thought lost forever. But still – weren’t these for you?
“Excuse me, my tragic darling vampire, I really love you rediscovering your love for these mortal pleasures known as fruit, but weren’t these meant to soothe my sufferings?”, you said and pouted at Astarion. He readily replied by finally offering you one – for real this time, while he smirked at you and stole another one for himself.
As you bit down the taste just about exploded in your mouth. They were perfectly delicious and sweet. You sighed blissfully and let your head fall back with closed eyes. You were definitely feeling better by the minute.
“So good! Thank you so much for getting them – I feel so much better already!”, you said to Astarion and shimmied over to him to first lean past him and put the mug on the nightstand and then hugging him – arms extending from your ball of blankets.
Astarion pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. “You’re welcome, my love. Now – share the rest?” “Only if you promise to get more tomorrow!”
The pale elf threw his head back and laughed. “If that is what it takes to nurse you back to health, I am more than happy to oblige, sweetheart”, he promised with a chuckle before he gave you another of the sweet berries and then popped another strawberry in his own mouth.
Author's note: Okay cool, where do I get strawberries now? Hope you enjoyed!
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aajjks · 9 months
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yandere!BTS: you say you don’t love them.
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disclaimer: this post contains dark heavy content, it is filled with themes that can be triggering for many, so viewers discretion is heavily advised. This is purely fictional and this does not represent bts members irl.
warnings: YANDERE CONTENT, crying, extreme jealousy, profanity, degradation, emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, obsessive behaviour and unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of punching someone.
note: BACK IN MY 2020 ERA HAHA. share your thoughts n feedback, after so long I’m finally writing for other members too, it felt really nice!!!! ENJOY!!!
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Jimin:
You won’t even look at him.
“YN, look at me.” He has been begging you to look at him for the last couple of days. He feels like he will go insane if he doesn’t feel your gaze on him any longer.
Jimin knows you are upset. And you have every right to be, he’s always doing something to make you hate him even more. Why can’t he just learn to control his jealousy?
“YN please! I’m sorry!” He scoops in closer to you, he is so distraught, how can he fix this, this time he knows he fucked up bad.
Insulting your friends was a stupid thing to do, he’s learnt that by now, if only he wasn’t so blind with his jealousy.
“Fuck off, Jimin.” You groan at him, your face is tilted towards the other side and his hands grab your shoulders, but you are stubborn. “P-Please I’m sorry I told you I’ve realised my mistake!” How can he get you to forgive him?
“I hate you! You’re fucking immature and stupid!” Your words are like bullets to his chest, but he maintains his composure, he cannot start crying right now because he doesn’t want to prove you right.
“YN- I-I know… I’m sorry I fucked up bad, but p-please don’t say you hate me!” Jimin gasps in surprise as you finally turn towards him, your gaze settles on him.
“Y-YN!!!!! Thank God baby!” He leans in closer to hug you but you immediately stop him. “No. I’ve had enough, I need a break.”
His whole world crashes down in front of his eyes.
“W-What do you mean!?” His eyes are wide and glossy already, he cannot believe this, you are going to leave him? Just because of your shitty friends?
“Yes you heard me, I need space from you- fuck I don’t want to look at you!” You stand up and glare at him. “This is not the first time you’ve crossed a line Jimin!”
He follows you, “YN THIS IS ABSURD! I TOLD YOU THAT IM SORRY! Y-YOU CANT LEAVE ME! Not over s-such a small issue!”
“SMALL ISSUE? Oh God… why am I even trying with you! You’ll never understand!” You try to move past him but he is quick to block you, “n-no you can’t leave me! YOU LOVE ME!” His crescent eyes look back into yours with a dark hue in them.
You laugh, “I-I did love you but I don’t think that I love you anymore.”
“Y-You don’t mean that!” Jimin breaks down at your words, fat tears start rolling down his eyes, it always ends like this.
He always manages to make you feel guilty.
But this time you’ll stand to your ground. You have to leave him.
“YES I DO. And you can’t stop me anymore Jimin.”
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Taehyung:
Taehyung is glaring at you.
“Quit being a brat already.” He rolls his eyes but you don’t respond, it irks him so much, he doesn’t like your silence.
Taehyung doesn’t know how to handle you, or himself if he’s being truthful. Your relationship with him is fragile, he knows, he can see it breaking into pieces that he won’t be able to pick up.
But he can’t let that happen.
“YN.” He calls out your name, “you know that I won’t let you go out so why are you even trying huh?” He grabs your face and caresses your skin gently.
It makes you sick, how can such a monster like him even try to act gentle with you.
“Don’t touch me.” You slap his hand away, he sighs softly, his eyes make you nervous, you know he’s holding back his anger.
“You know, you always manage to test my fuckin patience.” He laughs, you look at him with no emotion, he doesn’t mean anything to you, you don’t care about him, you don’t love him.
You’ve never loved him, you’ve always feared him.
“You’re so lucky that I love you YN, but you always have to act like an ungrateful bitch, don’t you?” His words are harsh just like his soul.
How can anyone ever love him.
“Taehyung I don’t love you.” You stare back at him with equal anger, “what? Don’t act like you didn’t know.” It’s your turn to roll your eyes at him, he’s biting the inside of his cheek.
The satisfaction of hurting his feelings washes over you, the man doesn’t move an inch though, his eyes are empty.
“Well you better start loving me or I’ll fucking kill you.”
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Jungkook:
It’s eating him up, you’re fuming with anger.
He doesn’t know what to do, it’s too late anyways.
He already fucked up.
“FUCK YOU!” You spit at him, he can’t even look at you, his heart is thumping loud. Your voice is so loud that he cringes at the vibration. “YOU ARE FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO BE WITH!”
He doesn’t feel guilty about it though, he just feels guilty about the fact that it happened in front of you. “SPEAK NOW! You don’t shut the fuck up when you should and now you’re fucking quite!” You cross your arms to your chest and stand in front of him.
“YN I’m sorry to disappoint you but I don’t regret it one bit.” He looks up at you and confesses, you study him and yes it’s true.
There’s no regret in his eyes.
“Of course.” Your voice is breaking. He can never change, and it hurts to realise that. “HE FLIRTED WITH YOU RIGHT INFRONT OF ME!”
He’s screaming at you, it’s scary how he doesn’t realise his actions.
“You fucking punched him. That’s it I’m DONE.”
You are crying at this point, “I th-thought that you could change, Jungkook but you can’t. And I can’t take this anymore, your behaviour is starting to make me hate you.” You start to move back from him as he moves closer to you.
“Y-YN you love me and I love you! That’s enough for us, a-and I only protected our love!” You are too slow to get away from him and he grabs your body,
“What love? This is not love at all, I should’ve realised that way before but I chose to ignore my instincts! I don’t think I love you anymore.”
“You are impossible to love, Jungkook.”
“W-What?” Jungkook looks broken, his hands leave your body finally, he falls down to the floor of your bedroom, his tears don’t escape his eyes.
He feels numb.
Just like how you’ve been feeling this entire relationship, you both are toxic for each other, you bring out the worst in him.
He needs to let you go.
“I-I love you- YOU LOVE ME. I won’t l-let you go! I WONT! No matter what you say!”
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havocskies · 2 months
Text
HOBIE BROWN HEADCANONS | NSFW
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im iffy on writing actual smut bc id be reconsidering a lot in my life during it but i am not above writing headcanons xoxo
honestly this is kinda jst me rambling but oh well take it anyway
╭──╯ . . . . . ༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶ . . . . . ╰──╮
• definitely wouldn’t be aggressive but not against throwing you around just a little (if you’re okay w that obviously)
• i don’t think he’d be absolutely nasty. like he’s clearly a bit freaky, he makes a joke abt biting in his intro but i can’t see him being crazy ??
• sony let us know he’s into biting n everyone jst ignored that we need to think abt that more.
• not entirely serious. he isn’t above making a few jokes every once in a while, especially if you’re a bit nervous
• back to that though if he tries to initiate something and he sees you’re even slightly unsure or nervous ?? it’s off. he’s asking what’s wrong immediately and if it’s solvable great, he’ll solve it if it isn’t it’s off. he has no problem leaving you be if you aren’t up to it, there’s no convincing involved
• wouldn’t be into anything extremely degrading, aggressive, or violent. to him that’s porn culture and he wants absolutely nothing to do with it, even if you asked. i just don’t think he’d get off to anyone being seriously hurt
• however he has no shame with a BIT of pain. he did make a biting joke so i mean
• i think light choking would be the worst he’s automatically willing to do or receive. ofc he’s willing to talk but it’d have to be a very detailed talk abt what both of you are okay w doing/receiving
• honestly i jst think talks like that wld be important to him in general. he doesn’t wanna overstep any boundaries, especially not during something as big as sex. he’d never try to introduce you to something before having a genuine conversation about it first
• aftercare is peak w this man. godsend. you’ll never get any better
• not rough all the time. yg write him to be like absolutely insane n aggressive in bed n i jst can’t see it. like hobie never once even raised his voice unless it was loud, like in his intro. nothing abt him was ever aggressive. i think maybe he’d have no shame being SLIGHTLY rough but i don’t think his intention would be to hurt you/see how much you can take ever
• i think most of the time he’d be pretty normal. he’d be paying complete attention to you jst to be sure you’re comfortable always, he’ll stop immediately if you aren’t
• honestly he’s probably a switch, i can see it. he has no problem giving or receiving, though there wld still have to be some talks abt some things LMAO
• i see comments on edits (even mine) abt how he switches positions a lot n it lowk made me giggle. i think he definitely would on occasion just to catch you off guard, but his whole hating consistency thing imo was a joke jst to mess w miles, half the things he said in his intro were to mess w miles
• probably not very experienced but he knows enough and learns fast. like i don’t think he would be into hookup culture or even care abt sex much but he isn’t clueless, yk ?? he knows what he’s doing at least
• doesn’t really ask for head. if you bring it up, great !! he obviously won’t complain ☠️ but to him i think it’d be more of a bonus, not something he expects from you
• i don’t think he’d be into rough head either. to him it’s about what YOU’RE comfortable doing and what YOU can do. he isn’t going to force you into doing anything. like if his hand is ever on your head it’s to hold your hair back and/or just love on you
• like i said he doesn’t really get off to seeing you struggle
• also idk if it’d be pierced. would he be above it absolutely not but that also involves a stranger handling and piercing your dick. if he did it himself, then maybe
• sex to him isn’t as important. he isn’t going to be all distraught if you aren’t ready or you jst don’t want to. it’s jst a bonus to him, obviously it’s important but your needs and thoughts are SIGNIFICANTLY more important to him than what he jst wants
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ladykinrannoch · 2 months
Text
Reading - Catherine and William
Hello to my followers, I have been extremely busy the last few months and have not been reading tarot for some time, but at the moment I have been doing daily readings on Catherine just because I am worried and need to reassure myself that our Princess of Wales is going to recover. However, as I indicated, I am not going to publish the full reading out of respect for her privacy.
So I will just give you the highlights, because if I give you all the cards in the reading, other readers who know the meanings of the cards might interpret it differently.
Situation today - Catherine is not happy in hospital and missing her children, I hope that the children can go to visit her today, I think it will lift her sprits. William is sick of the toxicity and trolling, and I think he knows where it is coming from.
In Catherine's row I see that she has turned a corner and is out of the woods the Chariot has gone upright! I get a real sense of relief with this card, so that means she is healing faster than anticipated, I also see a counsellor/psychologist or motivational man, it could be a new doctor, that has stepped in to help her stay positive and encourage her recovery. He may also likely be helping her process feelings about That One who showed up in reverse in Catherine's row. The outcome for Catherine is positive Ace of Cups upright, it was in Rx yesterday, so a new beginning and good things and happy times.
In William's row he had gone from distraught and overwhelmed with worry since yesterday, and he is now ready to break a toxic cycle/relationship, he is thinking back on childhood memories and of course his brother showed up in his row, I sense that William has decided that any procrastination regarding This One and That One must end. His outcome is two of swords. I expect that with his combination of cards, he is looking for someway to end the toxicity, as I feel that he is absolutely furious at the impact that Those Two have had on Catherine so expect William to make some significant decisions, even if it means breaking a stalemate or crossing swords with his father.
The underlying energy of the reading is Victory.
Out of interest six cards from yesterday showed up again today either in different positions or had turned direct (upright).
This was a ten card reading with one underlying energy card with my Wheel of the Year Tarot.
Keep up the prayers for the Wales'.
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grimoireofhayley · 7 months
Text
Of Friends and Horror
Stu Macher x Fem!Reader x Billy Loomis
WARNINGS: Graphic content, Smut (MINORS DNI), Language, Talks of SA, Cheating, Obsessiveness, Gore, 18+ Content, Stalking, Possessiveness, Dirty talk, Religion talk, Suppressed Mental Health problems (I.e., reader has some issues that she isn't aware of)
Word Count: 1.2k
Taglist: @ev3ningrain @nerdytif @fanfic-enjoyer123 @darkenwolfie @juda-the-simp  @colsons-baker @junnniiieee07  @ok-boke @ren-ni @katie-tibo @bruce-yamada @kenma-izhu @cookielovesbook-akie @elevenpurple
A/n: I hope this chapter was just as good as the others, I feel like it was somewhat sloppily done, but I'm not too sure, I'm just so freaking hot in my room, I am sweating bullets and can't think, lmao.
All chapter links!!! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
OF&H Masterlist
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Chapter 13
You were sprawled about on Tatum’s spare bed she had in her room, whereas Sidney was tummy-first on her inflatable, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. 
“God, I loved it.” Tatum giggled, pulling her blonde hair into a tight ponytail, whilst looking at you, her eyes filled with admiration. “I’ll send you a copy… BAM!” She punched a stuffed bunny that was next to her before picking it up, flinging it all over the place in excitement, “Bitch went down.” She laughed, “The insults had to be my favourite part, though.” She gleamed, tossing the stuffy elsewhere. 
You rolled your eyes at her exaggeration, “Tatum, it wasn’t a movie, there shouldn’t be any favourite parts. I punched a person, let alone insulted her outside a police station…”. You sat up from the bed, sitting criss-crossed, propping your arm up on your thigh and resting your chin in the palm of your hand. “I could have been arrested!” You chortled, snorting in the process.
Tatum completely ignored that possibility, her exhilaration being her only muse. 
“I’ll send you a copy—BAM! (Y/n), superbitch.” Tatum repeated and in her best you voice she said, “Now, if I were you, I would put that book on hold and shut the fuck up for once.” She placed her hand on her hip, contorting her face into that of someone who was extremely confident. 
Your lips formed a thin line, shocked at how she managed to recall the event word-for-word. “I’m actually surprised you were able to remember all that, was it really that impressive?” You quirked a brow, tilting your head, ignoring the sudden pain in your hand. 
 “Uh, yeah.” She tsk-ed, “I’m certain you’ll be the talk of the school tomorrow.” She giggled. “You’re so cool.” She beamed, batting her lashes. 
“I thought you might want some ice for that right hook.” Dewey suddenly appeared in the doorway, tossing you an ice pack.
You caught it with your sore hand, wincing slightly, regretting your instinct to catch it with your dominant one.
“Thanks, Dewey..” You warmly smiled up at him, placing the pack on your knuckles and instant relief was felt. 
You laid back down, your head hitting the pillow.
“I’ll be right next door. Try to get some sleep, girls.” 
“Yeah, yeah.” Tatum groaned, waving her hand at her older brother, motioning him to leave. 
You turned on your side, looking at Sidney and a ping of guilt washed over you, yet again that night. 
She was distraught, and she looked uncomfortable, most likely because of the argument you both shared with each other earlier at school, and how you gave her the cold shoulder at the Police Station, silently scolding her for the ridiculousness of believing that her own boyfriend would try to kill her. 
You frowned, a wave of gloominess lingering in the air as you let the ice pack fall to the ground. 
“Sidney?” You whisper, trying to get her attention. 
She shuffles, not wanting to talk, but she soon groans, turning to face you.
“Yeah?” She questions.
“I’m sorry.” You pout, rubbing at your orbs. “I shouldn’t have said those things at school, and I shouldn’t have scolded you at the police station.” You mumbled, “You’re a person; you have feelings and those feelings are valid and they always will be.” You finished.
Sidney’s eyes grew, not sure how to process everything, but she soon smiled, and for once, she didn’t feel like you were the bad guy and that everything will be okay. 
“It’s fine, (Y/n). Apology accepted…” She trailed, “Though, you were right, I had no business to go through your journal and call you names when my mother was something else…” She gulped, “I don’t know what got over me… and I am truly sorry.” She twiddles with her thumbs, looking at you with hopeful hues, as if she was begging for your forgiveness, and in ways, she was. Afterall, you did punch a woman for both her sake and yours. 
Tatum cheered, glad that her two best friends made up. “Jeez, I’m thankful you both apologized to one another because I was starting to get bummed out in my own home.” She laughs. “On a more serious note…” Tatum changes the subject, her curiosity getting the better of her. “Do you really think Billy did it?” 
Sidney’s smile soon faded, “He was there, Tatum..” Her voice trembled.
Tatum rolled her eyes, “He was destined to have a flaw, I knew he was too perfect.” She whined. 
Knock… Knock…Knock…
Rapid knocking at Tatum’s bedroom door was heard and this caught everyone's attention.
Tatum looked at the door, seeing it open, revealing her mother, Mrs. Riley, “Telephone, honey.” 
“Who is it?” The blonde asks. 
“It’s for Sid…” 
“Is it my dad?” Sidney popped up from off the floor, looking over yours and Tatum’s bed.
“I don’t think so.” 
“Take a message?” You chirped in.
“No, um, I’ll get it.” Sidney looks at you and Tatum, indicating for the both of you to follow her.
“Gotcha..” You mouthed at her, grabbing ahold of Tatum’s hand, forcing her to get up and follow you towards Sidney and the three of you went out the door.
--
Sidney placed the phone up against her ear, her nerves screaming to be let out, “H-Hello?” She stutters.
“Hello, Sidney.” The killer spoke.
“NO, NO!” She yells, gripping the sides of her head. 
You and Tatum rushed to her side, holding her, keeping her from freaking out anymore. 
“Poor Billy-boyfriend.” 
Sidney quickly placed the phone down, clicking the speaker button, so everyone could hear. 
“An innocent guy doesn’t stand a chance with you.”
“Leave me alone!” She yells, starting to hyperventilate. 
“DEWEY!” Mrs. Riley rushes off to get her son. 
“Looks like you fingered the wrong guy…Again.”
“Who are you?” 
“Hang up, Sid.” Tatum ushers her friend as you rubbed her arm, trying to support her. 
“Don’t worry, Sidney. You’ll find out soon enough. I promise.” The killer gloats, taking a heavy-breath. “Oh, and (Y/n), Sweetheart, I hope you found the gift a real heart stopper~”
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forhereyesonlyyy · 11 months
Text
cupid’s work. — a jang wonyoung x reader short.
word count: 1.9k
author’s note: trying something new! a lot of the things in my drafts are super long, so i wanted to try my hand at writing a short that is actually short (and very vague) where i’m less strict with spelling and grammar and all that jazz and just try to vibe, ha. anyway, i hope you enjoy this~ if i see that you guys like this enough i might make a cute little continuation too <33
author's note 2.0: YA'LL... tumblr is becoming my worst enemy idk why the order of the paragraphs(?????) is getting jumbled up PLS BEAR WITH IT 😭😭
warnings: none.
sometimes you wondered if you were extremely lucky, or horrifyingly unfortunate.
when your managers had told you and your group that you would be filming a variety show with another girl group, you were overjoyed. you have always wanted to make friends with your colleagues, but have been too shy to do so. jayoon was more fit for that kind of thing; socializing. but you thought that you would finally try to come out of your shell in this variety show by making the first move on whoever the other girls may be, until you were told of them.
“ive.”
you didn’t miss the way chaeyoung and sieun gave you a sideways glance at the mention of the popular group. while jayoon and seeun shared a high five, and yeeun and sumin nodded excitedly, you were sinking into your seat.
“what, (y/n)? not happy with the other group?” your manager asked, noticing the distraught look on your face.
you perked up, “i am!”
“i bet you are.” jayoon teased. you kicked her leg under the table, but she only laughed.
your managers decided that it was better not to know whatever it was that bothered you, and had concluded the meeting right after they dropped the date when the groups will meet up for further discussions about the show. nobody talked for the first few minutes after the meeting ended, but when you saw chaeyoung smiling at you, you knew all of them were going to speak of a certain someone.
“so,” sieun started. you busied yourself with looking at your nails, pretending as if you didn’t know that sieun was talking to you. “i think i speak for everyone when i say that you should shoot your shot during this show.”
“absolutely not,” you replied immediately. “that’s... that will never work out! right, sumin?” it was your futile attempt to pull someone on your side.
much to your dismay, your leader only smiled sheepishly at you, “i agree with sieun. it’s getting a little sad seeing you pine for her from afar.”
“and trust me, we all want to be spared of your awkward greetings and even more awkward small talks in the music show hallways.” seeun added, shaking her head. you scoffed, crossing your arms, but you didn’t find the grit to fight back. it really wasn’t your fault that you get tongue-tied in the presence of the idol of this generation!
“hey, we’ll help you as much as we can. but seriously, have faith in yourself! everything will work out fine! you’ll see in the meeting that we’ll have with them that you two will get along well!” chaeyoung, bless her heart, holds your hand in consolation.
“unless you shit your pants, then i don’t think we’ll be able to help you with that.” jayoon said. you groaned, hiding your face in your hands while chaeyoung scolds jayoon in the background.
seriously, what were you going to do?
~
“i feel like my heart is going to break out of my ribcage and make a run for it.” you paced around the practice room restlessly. it was the day that stayc and ive will have their meeting for the variety show. when the news was announced on the internet, everybody seemed excited for it. what was better than having one girl group in a variety show? two, of course! both fans of the groups were excited for all of the members of be interacting, and your heart warmed at the encouraging comments of you fans, saying that you will finally have your moment to make friends, like you have always said you wanted to do.
“they’ll be here in a sec, girls.” one of the staff said. you heard jayoon and yeeun snickering behind you, but they both patted your back for good luck.
“i’m gonna faint.” you told sieun.
but you weren’t going to lie, it felt like it was the end of the world.
“you’re not gonna faint.”
and then almost immediately, the door swings open and the first face your eyes set on were jang wonyoung’s. she towered above everybody else and in your eyes, she always had that glow around her that made it hard for you to ignore her. and really, it was your big pathetic crush on her that just automatically made you look at her.
chaeyoung, who was genuinely worried that you would pass out, places her arm around your waist and had you bowing towards the other group with her, as well as the rest of your group.
“hi, (y/n)!” rei greeted, grabbing both of your hands and shaking them. you got acquainted with her a long time ago, after bumping into her in a bakery and finding yourselves being completely at peace in each other’s company. ever since that, you’ve been friends, but you hadn’t told her about your infatuation towards her fellow member though.
“hello.” wonyoung greeted you, bowing again. you found your words stuck in your throat, and only bowed back. you avoided looking at her because every time she was around, it was hard to keep yourself together. (which was a shame, because you would’ve seen the slightest look of disappointment on wonyoung’s face when you avoided her eyes.)
once the groups were introduced to each other, the producer of the show, who was a relatively young woman, ushered you all to sit down on the floor with her. you sat in between seeun and rei and about three seats away was wonyoung. you continued to look at everyone else but her.
“oh, (y/n). are you not feeling well today? you look a bit pale.” the producer said.
everyone turns their head towards you, making you flinch. even jayoon seemed genuinely worried. she was afraid that she might have taken her teasing too far and had actually scared you into ignoring your crush. but you frantically shook your head, laughing nervously, “i’m alright!” you told the producer.
seeun puts her hand on your forehead, “you’re not sick, are you?” she asked. 
you gently took her hand and rested your joined hands on your lap, “no, no. i’m fine, really.” you said.
(wonyoung studied you closely. she noticed the way you didn’t know what to do with your hands after seeun lets go of it, the way your eyes darted everywhere, and the way you didn’t look like you were listening at all. she got worried.)
after that, the producer then went on to the details of the show. the groups will be traveling together in popular tourist spots and will occasionally have friendly competition from time to time. the show is mostly about building friendships between idol groups and overall just wholesome content for the groups’ fans. everybody loved it, and you felt genuinely excited about it all.
“speaking of games, there’s no way we can’t not do the lie detector game.” the producer said, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. the lie detector machine was filled with bullshit, as you have come to know, but every time your members get shocked by it, it was always fun.
plus, it was the only time that you got to do the teasing.
“although we might need to protect anyone who might be weak to being poked fun at,” the producer joked. your members nodded, and of course the producer sees the way jayoon and yeeun looked at you while they giggled. “(y/n), you’re not good with jokes?” the producer asked.
you shook your head, playfully glaring at jayoon and yeeun. “it’s just that you don’t really need a lie detector to find out if she’s being truthful or not.” sumin clarified, which really only made things worse on your end.
the producer laughed, “really? should i try it out then? (y/n)-ah, do you have a crush on someone right now?” well, that was a conveniently timed question. your members laughed, so you couldn’t help but laugh with them while your cheeks inhabited a very deep red color.
rei looks at you with wide eyes, “whoa.” she said. you covered your blushing face and leaned into rei, shaking your head. while your members started teasing you about how big of a trouble you were going to be in once you all play the game, you made eye contact with wonyoung, who had a fond smile on her face, and only blushed harder.
you looked away, but you couldn’t hide your shy grin.
(wonyoung’s heartbeat started racing. no way. her own cheeks started flushing pink. oh, good god.)
when the meeting ended, it only felt like there was the start to a great friendship. you hugged rei goodbye and gave yujin and leeseo a warm side hug (those two talked to you a lot during the meeting, always adding onto your ideas and looking at you attentively as you talked).
“goodbye for now.” wonyoung tells you as she approached the door with her members.
“goodbye—” your mouth clamps shut and your heart drops when wonyoung suddenly squeezed your hand before waving and bowing towards your members. once ive was out the door, you stared at your hand with wide eyes.
“holy shit, (y/n).” seeun, who witnessed the whole moment, said.
you nodded and breathlessly you replied, “holy shit.”
“i’m not the only one who saw that, right?” yujin asked, nudging wonyoung with her elbow. wonyoung has been smiling for a while now. “i can’t believe you’re going to get a girlfriend before i do.” the leader said, sighing.
~
ive was a mess in high up entertainment’s parking lot.
“i knew i wasn’t hallucinating when i saw it!” liz exclaimed, bouncing on her feet. they were, of course, talking about the very brief moment you looked at wonyoung when the producer mentioned crushes.
yujin smirked, “how did you know she was talking about (y/n)?”
“what? (y/n) didn’t even say she was crushing on me! also, that would be ridiculous. i’m just me, and she’s (y/n) of stayc.” wonyoung said, forcing herself to laugh.
gaeul stared at her, simply amazed to see the wonyoung looking so infatuated, “you’re in deep, huh?”
wonyoung paused, and once again, she found herself blushing.
yes. terribly so. jang wonyoung has had the biggest crush on you for... wow, she can’t even say exactly when. but she remembered it as clear as yesterday. being friends with rei, it made sense that you would do everything to support her and her group. so, it didn’t surprise wonyoung when you made a surprise visit during an ive comeback show. what did surprise her was how you had apparently worked hard getting the perfect bouquets for each and every member.
wonyoung found herself feeling completely enchanted by you when you handed her a beautiful bouquet. her heart melted at your words that day too.
“i saw these light pink tulips and thought of you. they’re candid, yes, but they’re very beautiful. i felt like they suit you the best — simple, but that factor is what made them so perfect. a-ah! i hope you don’t take that the wrong way! i-i wasn’t trying to insult you, or anything...”
wonyoung spent the next couple of minutes consoling you that time. those tulips were long gone now, but wonyoung never forgot about your words. ever since then, you have been on her mind, as well as her heart.
her holding your hand for a brief moment was only the start of her attempt to finally tell you of her feelings, which she hoped that you shared.
throughout the ride back to the dorms, wonyoung was smiling quietly in her seat, with only the thought of holding your hand a lot more in the future in her mind.
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topaz-witch-tea · 7 months
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Yanqing's Happy Family AU: Dan Feng's Parenting
I did say I would post headcanons on here in relations to my Yanqing's Happy Family AU so I am posting them now instead of writing because I hit a writer's block on all my work-in-progress. I also have not started on the 1.3 update and these works might reflect that since they were written a day before it was out.
Please enjoy my headcanons on Dan Feng parenting Yanqing and feel free to send me asks or message me. I would love to talk about HSR and/or this AU with you.
Out of the three, Dan Feng has the most anxiety when it comes to parenting Yanqing. He grew up in an environment that was incredibly demanding and was raised with extremely high expectations. He never had anyone to consider an equal until his met his husbands and, even then, he still had to maintain a stoic and unfeeling facade when they were in public. The lack of proper, healthy social interactions and the inability to express himself freely manifested in intense anxiety when he adopted Yanqing. It also did not help that Yanqing did not bond with Dan Feng as easily as he did with Yingxing and Jing Yuan. He did not know how to raise a child and the side of him that was a perfectionist reared its head, leading him to constantly fret whether or not he is raising Yanqing well. 
He is the only one Yanqing will got to for help on his homework, especially math. Jing Yuan’s strong suit was never math (he gives me English and History vibes) and while Yingxing is very good at math, he is a very intense tutor and made Yanqing cry once. Dan Feng is the only one who can teach Yanqing math competently and not yell at him.
To outsiders, the High Elder of the Vidyadhara was an unfeeling man who expressed little to no emotions. Even in the presence of his husbands, the most one will see from him was a faint smile and a gaze held longer than it should. In fact, when he was married, it was a hotly discussed topic as to whether or not he loved his husbands due to how restrained he was in public. The only outlier is Yanqing, who Dan Feng dotes on constantly. Bright smiles, hugs, kisses on the forehead- Dan Feng magically transforms from an emotionless leader to an adoring father.
Dan Feng has accidentally smacked Yanqing with his tail once when his son was almost 2 and still feels bad about it a decade later. Yanqing was learning to walk at the time and attempted to walk over to his fathers. However, Dan Feng was too engrossed in a conversation with Jing Yuan and did not noticed. He ended up turning around quickly and unknowingly smacked Yanqing in the stomach with his tail, causing him to fall. The incident left Yanqing with a bruise and a bump on the back of his head. The wounds were superficial and he was fine, but Dan Feng was absolutely distraught. Some witnesses said he cried almost as much as his son did when he saw what he had done. For a couple weeks, he refused to have his tail out and bought countless toys and treats as atonement. Even though his son is 14 now, mentioning that story would only lead to the High Elder of the Luofu Vidayadhara to become very upset.
Feel free to let me know if you want any of these written out as a fic :)
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Hi, I know you already addressed a lot of the mischaracterization of Kon and Clark's relationship, but I was under the impression that Kon actually means 'abomination' in Kryptonian, and that Clark giving him that name was a rejection in itself. I am not very well versed in comics, so I apologize if this is just a fanon concept.
Hello!
You're not alone in being misled, as this concept has stretched far and wide and it is a very common theme in fandom works like fanfic.
The concept of Kon-El meaning "abomination" is canon, not fanon, but its source is from the New 52 reboot.
Some fans have in an attempt to create more angst for Kon adopted the concept that Clark gave Kon this name knowing full well what it meant as a way of rejecting him - this is incorrect - and it is blending versions together to make something that just never actually happened with Clark.
There are two versions of Kon getting his name in a main continuity - one in the 1994 comics, and the other in the New 52 Superboy comics.
To best answer your question, I am going to talk about the New 52 version first where "Kon-El" means abomination.
Also, it is important to remember that this Kon-El, isn't even actually Conner Kent (that's another post for another day comics are weird).
Anyway, in the New 52 reboot Superboy is 'called' Kon-El not by Clark, but by Kara!
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Superboy v.6 (2011-2014) #6
In this iteration, Kara has some extreme prejudiced bigotry towards "Kon" for being a clone due to the disastrous history Krypton had involving clones. It prompted her to attempt to kill "Kon" the moment she found out he was a clone after more or less calling him a slur.
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Superboy v.6 (2011-2014) #6
You can blame Scott Lobdell for this particular evisceration of Kara's character and for the name Kon-El warping into 'abomination' henceforth.
This particular run and story is no longer relevant to main continuity and it is not attached to Conner Kent because this did not happen to Conner Kent, but it did in fact happen and Krypton's disastrous history involving clones is still canon as well. Kon is still facing varying degrees of discrimination from Kryptonian-based ideology (Eradicator) because he is a clone.
Now let's talk about Clark and Kon and where Kon-El first came from and put a stop to the slander.
Where the name "Kon-El" originally came from was from Conner's 1994 solo series where Clark offered it to him from a place of affection.
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Superboy (1994) #59
The original moment of Kon obtaining his name from Clark was profound because up until this point he did not have a proper name. He was just "Superboy" or "Kid" or "Pup" (derogatory) so when Clark offers this Kon is so happy he starts crying.
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Superboy (1994) #59
At this point in time in comic history Kon-El did not mean abomination, "Kon" was a real Kryptonian name, and in the original run Clark did not even have any resentment towards Kon or negative feelings about his existence at all. He trusted him, felt he was worthy of the S-shield as a representative of hope, and at this point he wanted him to be part of his family.
This is Clark adopting Kon into his family right here in this moment - because Superman is the tale of the immigrant, the refugee and of love in family where blood does not equal family. That is what he is saying right here in this issue.
It is also important to note that at this point Geoff Johns' making Kon a 'clone' of Lex AND Clark is not canon and Kon is not even supposed to be blood related to Clark.
In closing...
Clark's relationship to Kon/Conner Kent in the main comic continuity is not hostile or rejection-based.
In their comic origins they had a nebulous relationship which over time evolved to being firmly brothers with a huge age gap and now in current continuity they are again brothers but with a different perspective.
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Action Comics #1028
Current continuity Clark who doesn't remember Kon at all knows him for less than a week and claims him and he is actually distraught he doesn't remember him.
Fandom is transformative and angst/hostility/rejection will always be a major theme people will love to create and consume - but it is also important to recognize that some details are simply not canon and should be regarded as transformative works to tell a story.
I hope this clears some things up from the comics side of DC.
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AITA for cutting my friend off after I visited him?
I, 19X (I’m nonbinary), visited my friend, M21, in his home country not too long ago. I paid for my own plane ticket, I paid for American snacks for him and his friends, and when I arrived I paid for any food I ate, all of our outings (my expenses and his for the most part), and even helped cover the difference on the electric/water bill. He provided me lodging (I slept on his couch for 3 weeks) and created the itinerary as he’s naturally more familiar with the country than I am. In total, I spent around 3,000 USD, spent 24 hours on a plane, and had jet lag for 3 weeks. I also dealt with extreme mental health symptoms alone while there because of homesickness and general issues I have.
We had been friends for almost 7 years at that point - we met when I was 12 and he was 14. For that entire time, we were incredibly close and supported each other through high school and the beginning of university. All this to say, our history was extensive, and I was excited to visit him. He was my best friend, so it didn’t matter how hard it was for me. I wanted to see him. To emphasize how strong our bond was, he literally got a tattoo representing me.
A month or so after I arrived home from my trip, he sent me a message at 3 AM (he intentionally sent it at that time so I couldn’t respond to him). The message basically said that he no longer felt as close to me, that it wasn’t anything I did, but he was changing and his interests were elsewhere. It was a classic “it’s not you, it’s me” move. He did specify that he still wanted to be my friend and that he still loved and cared for me, but that he wouldn’t be putting in as much effort. After sending that message, he didn’t say anything more for about two days.
I was distraught over this and freaked the fuck out, to be candid. But then I got to thinking and my sadness and anxiety turned to rage. I’d spent so much money just on him, I’d turned my life upside down to see him, I was jet lagged for three whole weeks, I was working back to back 12 hour shifts to make up for the money I’d lost — and that was it? He just didn’t feel close to me anymore? Granted, it’s not like he can control his feelings, but I started to feel like all that effort I put in was wasted. I asked him how long he had felt that way (distant from me), and he said he’d felt that way for around a year but he’d just now realized.
That was the nail on the coffin for me. That, and the fact that he only ever talked to me if I was the one to reach out. I removed him from all of my socials and left any servers we had in common. I deleted a lot of his old artwork. The message he sent me helped me realize a long pattern - he didn’t put in as much effort as I did, and I was secondary. Granted, I don’t expect to be the most important person in his life, but he would tell me all the time about his other friends — he’d send me pictures of them, screenshots of their messages to him, all that. And they knew nothing about me. I was going to visit and meet them and they hadn’t even seen a picture of me before.
Some part of me feels like I’m overreacting, though. I just want other people’s feedback on this. Am I the asshole for cutting him out of my life?
What are these acronyms?
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