#i am gatekeeping bench trio

[ohmygeese]

Any person from c!Bench Trio: *shows symptoms of trauma that can't be romanticized*

The fandom: Idk man, kinda feel like they betrayed each other here. They're turning into Wilbur and Schlatt smh. It would be better if they weren't friends at all. Because you know, they are a bad influence and their relationship is toxic. Just a hot take. Also, have you read this theory about how c!Ranboo might betray c!Tommy while enderwalking-

#imma bout to beat the shit out of all of you #i am gatekeeping bench trio #nobody shall utter their names unless you understand that they can't be perfect little golden boys #dsmp #dream smp #fandom critical #ranboo #c!ranboo #[my beloved] #tubbo #c!tubbo #tommyinnit #c!tommy #bench trio #this is your last warning or ill literally clobber you #tw ableism #tw trauma mention

[smallestbeans]

using my secret knowledge as a tall person i am going to crack this case wide open. my credentials: i am 6'0 and considered short within my immediate and extended family. i know this shit i live this shit i know people who lie and people who don't and i know how to catch someone in a lie about it too. 

THESIS: there is no way in hell tommyinnit is 6'3 like he claims. fuck off. i don't think wilbur is 6'5 either he's probably 6'4 based on him next to ranboo (who i think is 6'6) which i'll chalk up to being british like whatever conversions are weird but tommy is ABSOLUTELY willfully lying. and i think that's hilarious and i support him. 

MY ARGUMENT IS BASED ON THESE FOUNDING PRINCIPLES: 

1. men are insane and lie about their heights constantly. my brother who is 6'3 for no apparent reason claimed to be 6'4 at a party last weekend where it was easily debunked by people who are actually 6'4 pointing out he's not their height. i don't understand why he did this, or why he thought he'd get away with it, but. well. it happened i was there.

2. after a certain point people also stop bothering to lie, like my uncle has no reason to say he's 6'6 when he's really 6'5 because no one fucking cares after a certain height. like you just become 'freak level tall'. 

so. so. ranboo is probably actually 6'6 he has no real reason to lie because if he was 6'5, that wouldn't make a difference, he'd still be very fucking tall right? and based on tommy standing next to him (bench trio height check my beloved) that is NOT 3 inches of difference.

based on this picture, i'd say at BEST tommy is bumping his number by an inch, but in all likelihood it's by 2 or maybe even 3. to me, it looks like probably 5 inches difference, putting tommy at 6'1. which is still tall idk why he's so determined to lie. i mean i do it's funny and feels like an achievement that's why my brother lies and shit but. anyways.

similarly, wilbur is fuck-off level tall, and tommy is not 1 (if wilbur is 6'4 like i suspect) or 2 (if wilbur is 6'5 like google claims) inches shorter than him, putting him at 6'2 or 6'1. 

look at this. that's not 2 inches now fucking is it. anyways. this was largely pointless i just think it's funny and i support him continuing to gaslight gatekeep girlboss this shit. o7 good sir

#tommy #jake shut up #idk what else to tag this with tbh i don't know if i want people to see it at all but <3 oh well