#i am not good with sad things lol

[b4kuch1n]

hahaha wheee haha

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #continuing to tag ship instead of answering any of the reporters' questions #as you can see. I am still on my Reki Speaks English Pretty Fluently But Can Not Read It For Shit bullshit #and also. teen shenanigans. which can also be grown up shenanigans if ur not a square #man. todays been a Whole thing. how was it really the case that every art supply store I went to ran out of black ink #three! I went to three stores! literally a triangle in the city! #still have some of the devils tar left but I'm not enthusiastic about it #well! that's for future baku to care about and for me to ignore babeyy #tbh this is like. Im just glad I can still scribble a funny comic when it strikes me it's been too long #I don't do that a lot anymore... even tho its such a good measure of like. ur sense of timing #if u can draw a funny comic ur powerful enough to do anything. u can eat the sun u can kick its ass. u can draw a sad comic too #I realized I missed that... #also accidentally sent this from draft without adding tags lol. and tried adding tags on mobile and it spit in my face and called me a bitch #got enough of that. one must never forget one's currently on tumblr #now I sleep. gods. gods do I need a bit of that #have a good night lads. bring a worm onto a rollercoaster. see what happens

[shima-draws]

So my roommate is also into One Piece. I’m not sure if he’s watched any of the anime, I know for sure he’s watched the live action, but earlier tonight he came upstairs and watched a few episodes with me while waiting for a food delivery, and then he got hooked, and then he sat and watched MORE episodes with me without really knowing what was going on. But it was still wildly entertaining to him, esp since I’m right in the middle of one of the (arguably) best arcs rn, and now he wants to finish the arc with me LOL. NOBODY is immune to One Piece propaganda. Or Bon-chan 🥰

#Shima speaks #IT WAS JUST REALLY FUNNY #Like he’s been spoiled to a lot of stuff and has general knowledge of some things #So he knows (as well as I) about what’s going to happen to Ace #But yeah I’m in the middle of Impel Down and it’s absolute fucking CHAOS rn. Insane. #He was like. How much more are you going to watch tonight. #And I was like well I usually go until right before bedtime when I’m binging it #So he was like let me grab my blanky :) LOL #We started chanting PRISON RIOT!! PRISON RIOT!! PRISON RIOT!!!!! #Idk it’s just nice. I usually don’t get this kind of reaction to stuff I watch #My parents don’t like anime and my sister. Well she likes it but only specific series #So I couldn’t rope her into OP even if I tried lol #So having someone be like ooooh what are you watching it looks good I want to join! #IT FEELS NICE. OKAY. I don’t get that ever!!! #I don’t have the kind of family who would be willing to watch anime with me #And tbh I get jealous when my friends tell me they watch anime with their parents #I doubt my parents would watch anime if I were on my deathbed and asked them to. LMAO #Not faulting then it’s not their cup of tea which is fine. It just makes me sad #*them #Bc that’s just. Such a HUGE part of my life and who I am. And they don’t know anything about that side of me #Or about the things I’m into #Sorry didn’t mean to get emo in my tags. Anyway. #I was gonna watch more OP during my lunch break tomorrow BUT since my roommate also wants to watch more. I will wait :) #Never have to do that usually! Huh!! How fun!!! #One Piece

[finncakes]

ep 48 doodle page ^^

#critical role #imogen temult #laudna #fcg #fresh cut grass #orym #orym of the air ashari #ashton greymoore #chetney pock o'pea #fearne calloway #bells hells #i THINK. that's all the tags.... #boy howdy #this is a really fcg-centric doodle page huh. #look man. i love my lil robot. they're just. so silly.... #also imogen babygirl i am so sad abt her #matt didn't need to make her dad say 'me neither' but he did and now i am so so sad cries #anywaaaay glad fcg was checked on. like seriously checked on. #i think orym was projecting a LOT in that conversation though. #fcg was like 'i'm actually ok lol i have a new purpose and i feel good abt things :)'

[orphetoon]

god i wanna get better at art next year

#one of my crimes is having ‘content brain’ so i always get a little sad when my experimental shit doesnt do well #the internet doesn’t like u doing actual art stuff when ur brand is occasionally funny comics #i am also very bad at focusing on one thing LOL #so i never actually get good in one area like i mean to #delete later

[synthshenanigans]

Man its hard to have a second favorite when they're all insanely good augh

#okay buy actual might be my second favorite tho #got me having that feeling back from dear machine kinda #well not exactly its kinda mixed but ough #sm with this one ugh #small thing tho. there was probably a grew on me reference in the end #or like a nod back to it. which makes grew on me have more of a hit & confirms the idea i thought it was about #with it being towards an audience #idk idk am spitballin really #also hey eccentric mention. that's a word i use. im canon Jash lore/j #bro no im sad now. but like in a good way. cos that means the song hits & is rlly good #also if it helps i do not have bro as an idol. i don't have em for reasons like that that. ALSO IM JUST WEIRD LOL #nah cos once i had to write an essay on the prompt “write about a person you idolize or look up to” #LIKE MY GUY I DONT HAVE ANYONE TF DO I WRITE ABOUT???? #my only idol is hatsune miku thank you very much #okay okay im done now #i just ougj #song hits #chonny jash #moss post

[willowser]

edit to add: it's because of this incredible fanart that i got this brainworm

no bc i need to talk about this, like i'm NOT DONE like bakugou as your next door neighbor !! since you were a child !! and it's a nice neighborhood and his parents seem well adjusted and have clean-cut professional jobs and hold dinner parties with your parents and they're always bringing something delicious for the neighborhood new year's get together.

BUT THEIR SON IS A LITTLE HELLION. the kid that had a mohawk in middle school and made fun of you for not using cuss words until you were like 13. and he's not a bad kid, bc he still is at the top of all his classes and never breaks the law or anything -- but he comes to school after his 16th birthday with a piercing through the middle of his lip and the clothes he wears are black and baggy and he drives an old beat up, cherry red shelby mustang and you're pretty sure he got the tattoo on his forearm before he was 18.

and your dad is like. absolutely not. don't even look at that boy. can't even be caught dead with him.

you've been neighbors for almost your entire life, but it's not like you're really friends. hung out together when there was no one else and your dad was too busy talking about the upcoming season for fishing and golfing to notice. your mom doesn't mind so much bc he's really not terrible, just a wicked little brat, and the week he started playing the drums, nobody in a five mile radius got any sleep. still blares music with open windows and turns it up even louder when you wave at him from across the lawn to shut up.

at graduation, he accepts his diploma -- summa cum laude, of course, the little shit -- and almost gets kicked off stage for sticking his tongue out in the picture. wears all this smudged liner under his eyes and gels his hair out at a million different angles. bc he's the WORST. and your parents try to throw a combined graduation party bc it's easier to plan, but of course bakugou could care less. doesn't even show up until the very end, after most of everyone is gone. counts all the money from the congrats grad! cards he got and then tells you,

"'m gettin' the fuck out of here after this."

you don't think he means the party.

"hate this shit," he grumbles, and you're surprised that he's even talking to you. in his backyard, in front of the beautifully built fire pit for those cold fall nights. it's still hot in june, but he lit it out of spite, bc he doesn't mind the heat. "never gonna be like these fuckin' losers, worried about what everyone else thinks of me 'n shit. oh the HOA will be upset if we decorate the lawn with skeletons, fuck you."

it makes you laugh--he kind of always does, with how crass he can be--and he looks at you, sitting in the wicker chair beside him. he looks like he's glowing in the fire light, liner looking even darker with the shadows on his face. he's traded the stud in his lip for a little hoop in his septum, another in his eyebrow almost hidden in his hair.

"know your ass is gonna stick around here," he says it like an accusation, frowning. "gonna fuckin'--look for some prince charming, tuxedo mask douchebag. shack up and buy a house in the hills or somethin'."

"maybe," you shrug, earning a scoff from him. now that high school is over, the future seems so--open ended. you thought you'd be prepared by now, after all that your parents have tried to instill in you since elementary school, but. you don't know. maybe you don't want to go to law school. "or maybe i'll--join a rock band. dye my hair pink and split my tongue, or something."

you stick your tongue out for emphasis and he watches you closely, sticking his own out in response. when you laugh again, he shuffles in his seat and looks away.

"whatever." bakugou snorts, "you don't know the first thing about bein' in a band. i'd have to teach you everything."

"oh, you think you could?"

"hell yeah," he grins, wicked, all sharp teeth and sin. "learn from the fuckin' master."

"oh my god," you roll your eyes, but smile at him anyway. his eyes dart down to the curve of your lips, the apple of your cheeks, and then he's looking away again. speaking into the fire instead.

"i mean i guess i could, if you wanted, or whatever." the only fully painted fingernail remaining on his left hand is his pinky, and he picks at with interest. "if you--wanna come with me, not like i give a shit."

you try to picture it, you and him. katsuki. in the passenger seat of his car with nothing but clothes in a backpack, money stuffed in your pockets. wherever he's going--you don't even know--but it couldn't be too bad, with him. stopping in a motel when the driving gets old, buying snacks to feed him so he doesn't have to take his eyes off the road. he could be there when you get your first tattoo, and even though he'd make fun of you no matter what you choose, you don't think there's anyone else you would want there but him.

"when are we leaving?" you ask it to the sky, open and unending. dark and dazzling just like him.

from the corner of your eye, you can see him look at you for a long time before he snorts again, soft. disappointed, almost, because he knows it could never be. your fate has already been sealed, molded, starting from the day you moved in next door, and no matter how much you'd love to throw caution to the wind and follow him--it's just a dream.

"first thing tomorrow," he murmurs, and your heart thumps harder in your chest. so violent that it hurts. when you look at him, his face is turned up to the sky, too. "don't be late."

#bye the fanart i'm finished #the emo in me is like -- living #also bad guy x good girl trope is like such a classic #and i am still a sucker for it hfhaehfieah #semi kind of friends that have to part ways after high school is over kick me straight in the heart #all the things he wants to say !!! bc he's running out of time !!! #he's RUN OUT of time !!! #but what would it change anyway ?? two separate paths in life... #bye i made myself sad with this LOL #also road trip au PLEASE #okay okay i'm done i got it out of my system #bakugou drabble #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: bakugou

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[icewindandboringhorror]

........creachure

#cats #his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way... #it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy #his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat) #I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol #the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally #I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh #currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from #sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous #and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that #I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky #because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr #ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your #guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature #be upon ye.. #Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely. #but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start #On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed #.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes. #sculptures. edit videos. etc. ). #anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world

[thebirdandhersong]

.

#i AM quite sad about the situation with the sweet one not working out and the whole he's in love with someone else thing #because i also know she's not interested (this is REAL tragic because i think they'd be so good together!) #and because that sweet clueless boy is trying to woo her by giving her cool rocks #BOY I'D LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU GAVE ME A COOL ROCK #anyway. that has been THAT part of my life of late lol

[lunarharp]

some illustrations/vibes from my uhh 29k memory trauma/disability focus orufrey fic, into the deep end.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #idk what more i'll draw so i'll just put these here. i think my failing eye qifrey will be with me forever now. #yesterday - i realise this is probably weird - i BURST into tears for ages like hot tears bc i just suddenly was overwhelmed #by oru's feelings rather than qifrey's. i was just in my orufrey mindscape as usual teehee and i just. oru wanted qifrey to be able to look #at him so much suddenly. and realised that can't ever happen again. i could literally cry a lot again now. i wrote oru trying so hard #to focus on the good qifrey can still have from living and i felt bad and HE felt bad in that moment for being SO sad about it #but until then i/he hadn't processed the truly painful parts of disability that you can't deny. sometimes it hurts so bad and it's unfair #the thing is i do feel that shirahama is leading up to this. disability is so central to witch hat and as for qifrey's narrative... #mm. i can't really believe the powerful and desperate emotions orufrey give me lol anyyyyywwaaayyyyy read my fic haha #i want more ppl to read it and tell me they enjoyed it..but you can't beg for such a thing. no matter what orufrey is..god they are so much #i am so glad from the bottom of my heart that i encountered this manga. #the first drawing is meant to express the feeling of pain coming from one place in your body. and feeling like a conduit #*oru voice* You are a human being.

[b4kuch1n]

Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!

you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?

#ask #bakuspeech #I am joking to be clear lmao #thank u happy bday to me !! #tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me #cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly #so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around #I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know #I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited #and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead #and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak #listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story #it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao #but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol #it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did #I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u #lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here #the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games' #my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad

[allylikethecat]

Omg, also a TS fan since debut and I massively took a step back from her personally prior to the reputation era because of her antics and victim complex. The music will always mean so so much to me, her lyrics mean so much to me, but her actions as a person and TS™️ as an entity is just weird and greedy. I think she accrued a lot of fans when she disappeared for a while who've completely constructed a narrative in their heads of who she is and they believe it and are eating up this current era, but those who've been here a long time know how PR and image driven it is. Exhausting.

I apologize in advance I have been having way too many feelings about this whole situation and how it relates to my identity as a 28 year old woman and you are about to get an oversharing novel in response lol

Also, I guess CW: this post is about Taylor Swift and if anyone sends me any kind of hate or whatnot related to my own personal opinions and feelings I will be deleting it because I am NOT playing that game.

My Aunt bought me the Debut album CD at a concert after seeing her open for Rascal Flatts. She was like "I thought that you would like her!" and she was RIGHT Taylor Swift became my entire personality. One of my FAVORITE core memories as a child was the day Fearless came out. For some reason we didn't have school, and my Mom and I watched Taylor on the Ellen show, and then we went to Target and bought the physical CD, we then drove around town so we could listen to it together. My mom hasn't been well and that is one of my favorite memories of us together. It's silly but when you're in middle school that kind of thing is important to you. Then in high school I actually got MADE FUN OF for wearing Taylor merch and being excited about Red. BUT I loved her music and felt like she actually stood for something, so I brushed it off and continued to be a HUGE Swiftie. I had the Taylor Swift dolls, I had the perfumes, I had the LOVE LOVE LOVE bracelet, I had the sundresses from WALMART. I saw her on the Fearless and 1989 tours, I had the fucking 1989 haircut. I was supposed to go to Loverfest.

I was still a HUGE Swiftie during the post 1989-pre Reputation eras, then the Reputation era. I'm a few years younger than her, but I felt like I could relate to the kind of manic panic that she was sharing with us (lol turns out I was just unmedicated and we're doing much better now). It felt (in my probably naive mind) like she was experiencing the same insecurities that I was and reacting accordingly. Was she playing the victim at times? Oh 100% BUT I also fully believe that she thought she was one. (Plus... Kim is my least favorite Kardashian lol)

I LOVED the Lover era even as it was shit on at the for the sunshine rainbow hyper colorful aesthetic. Like, I don't know if new fans realize but when Lover was released? It was NOT as beloved as it is now. Then Folklore and Evermore were absolute genius, it felt like Taylor had grown up, and she got all of these new fans, which was great! She was in an "adult" relationship and her music and publicity choices seemed to reflect that. It was so refreshing to see a celebrity keeping their personal life, personal, and sharing what they wanted to share through music. Midnights broke all kinds of records, again, amazing! Even if it wasn't as strong as say Folklore. I fought for my life and got Eras Tour tickets (opening weekend!!) I had the BEST TIME EVER.

Taylor has always been extremely calculated with her public image. She was over exposed during The 1989 era and the public turned on her, so I truly cannot figure out why she is doing it again 100x in this new era of whatever the fuck this is. I don't know her, maybe she is legitimately happy, or maybe this is a cry for help. But I have been so grossed out by her behavior lately, and how in your face everything is with Kelce. It's no secret that I hate Kelce (and people that know me IRL know that it's not a new Taylor related thing lol) and if she actually loves him, fine, that's great for her, BUT we don't need to see it! Yes she was public when she was dating Calvin but ALSO she was what 25-26? She's a 34 year old woman now with the biggest platform of any celebrity ever. She feels too old (and this is not me age shaming her because I would be grossed out if my friends were doing it, and I would be embarrassed if *I* were to ever do it) to be licking a man's face in public like this. This feels like sorority girl in her first college relationship (I was *in* a sorority for a hot second so this isn't hate on sorority girls either!) and not record breaking Grammy award winning artist. ALSO I feel like she used to come across as so articulate and well spoken? Controversial opinion but I thought she sounded like a fucking idiot in that Time Person of the Year piece.

I think that this whole thing is PR for something, but because it just feels too icky to be real, but I don't know what it's PR for, (trying to bury the Matty situation from May? Because if so that just makes me even more sad for him or trying to get back at Joe? Which if that's the case, I feel bad for him too and she's even more immature than I thought) and now, for the first time, AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS I'm embarrassed to be a fan of her, both because of her own actions and also the actions of her fanbase as a whole.

It feels really weird, and I know I'm being parasocial about it, but when the times got bad I always had her music to fall back on and now I just, I don't know it feels cheapened somehow because the current image that's being crafted doesn't match the one that we originally fell for. And you know what, people change, she's a celebrity, I don't know her, what she does DOES NOT affect me any way, and how I feel does not AFFECT HER in the slightest, and I know it's being parasocial but I feel like a big part of me is in mourning about it. Less because of her changing her image so drastically, and more so because I feel like I'm mourning the loss of childhood and joy that used to be associated with her music for me and I think that's what's making me the most sad.

I have Eras tour tickets for one of the London dates this summer. I'm probably going to still go, because I paid for them, and I also have tickets to see Noah Kahan that same week in London (... and also the Longines tour has ALSO decided that the London stop is that week...) But I don't consider myself a "big fan" anymore. Maybe I will be one day again, but this current image that she's putting out just isn't it for me.

Sorry for the longest Taylor related novel in existence, I have had a lot of bottled up feelings about this that feel ridiculous typing out and sharing out loud BUT I know I will feel better sending them into the interwebs and your ask was the perfect catalyst.

Thank you so much for sending this in and for your continued support! I hope you continue to enjoy my fics and my secret sports hot takes 😂

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #keep it kind #i am so sorry this got so long #i just started word vomiting and couldnt stop #then i started crying thinking about my mom #and yeah anyway i am 100% sober just dramatic lol #dont worry i will still be working on you know where the city is #Fictional!2014/2015 taylor has not made me sad lol #and i know it doesnt matter or actually impact me and its super parasocial and probably not healthy that im sad about all of this #BUT i love projecting my feelings and shit onto other things #and why deal with the ~other trauma~ in my life #when i could just... be bummed out about taylor swift turning into a trashy hoe instead of the poet we thought she was #BUT IN IMPORTANT AND EXCITING NEWS #the way i am so hype for this beyonce country album #im not even a beyonce stan #i dont even know if i would go as far as saying im a casual fan #but 16 carriages is so good #and im so excited to see what the rest of the album has in store #also please be nice to me im being vulnerable on the internet #because i am too stubborn to be vulnerable in real life #... there is a 75% chance i am going to panic delete this later but oh well here it is

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#supposed to log good things #most of day was negative feelings and sadness #then. i remember feeling good #and then. tthe good went away #rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing #the feelings of undesirability #the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me #that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting #do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful #pictures get a lot of praise #sometimes #less so lately #maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off #maybe seeing how broken i am #such a shambling wailing mess of a girl #....has made people realize how ugly i am #i don't know. its hard to care most nights #I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings #i don't usually #I used to #now i just feel..... dead inside #like a walking corpse #some part of me wants to make that reality #sigh. #anyway. #im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far #it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol #.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so #....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week

[likeabxrdinflight]

I miss being like sixteen and emotionally unintelligent to the point it was acceptable to be jealous of your crush's partner in extremely petty and unimportant ways, or to be unreasonably mad at said crush for not liking you back. because in your thirties that is neither cute nor socially acceptable.

#blah blah blah he's a nice guy and did nothing wrong and I'm gonna be a good supportive friend #doesn't mean the little gremlin that lives in my subconscious doesn't wanna take it's sad feelings out on somebody lol #obviously I would not actually do any of those things #something something frontal lobe development #but honestly it's rude as fuck having a fully formed superego #...doesn't help that at this age it's either a passing attraction or like...actually I might be fully in love with you #there's rarely an in between anymore #..............anyways wedding photos are getting posted on facebook and instagram now and I am Big Sad but trying to hide it :')

[longagoitwastuesday]

person obsessed with Jack: "I'm getting big Jack vibes from this guy!"

#I read Firefly Wedding yesterday while eating because twitter suggested me a tweet #in which someone stated the couple was super toxic‚ which is catnip to me‚ and posted two gorgeous panels #I didn't even look for a summary but given the art I expected the guy to be some sort of supernatural being‚ but no‚ he's just a normal guy #Anyway... They are sixteen and eighteen years old‚ and at first I scoffed because come on‚ #with the themes it would have made more sense for them to be a bit older. Except this time no‚ which was pleasant #The protagonists act entirely like teenagers and I feel that's the point? They were indeed toxic but it didn't strike me as negatively toxic #But as kids with a terrible life in a terrible situation. I couldn't help but be endeared by the deranged guy #I wanted to adopt him so bad xD #The girl was also quite out of it too and could get quite violent too but it was downplayed after some chapters I feel? #Which is a pity because it justified her bond to the male character #Anyway... I get they they are kids in a bad situation that makes the bond grow strong in a short amount of time #but one of the things that I am not sure is entirely well justified is that she falls in love with the swordman guy and not her bodyguard #The bodyguard is devoted-deranged‚ has always been with her and they're childhood friends. They also share in some ways that 'bad situation #that bounds us together' thing. I initially thought it was justified by the fact she was after all a rich kid takin him from granted #but right now it doesn't seem to be the case. So... why? I get the worst option for a story is the most interesting one but I like choices #to be in character and justified and this one didn't really convince me? The bodyguard is deranged enough to be interesting and nice for her #(who wouldn't have to deal with the bloodbaths and mood changes of the firefly guy) without her having to give up #on the obsessive devoted deranged thing she obviously digs in a relationship lol. It would he arguably more real too #Because (although again the manga right now seems to have forgotten about it) the firefly guy could have loved anyone in the same situation #(there were some scenes that were soooooo deliciously Jack and Lacie). The bodyguard loves her for her. Because they're friends #I enjoyed it at first more than I thought I would. I liked the characters initially though not so much in these last ten chapters #I think it got worse and more typical. The art is absolutely beautiful though and I love the character designs #The protagonist and the bodyguard look more normal but the male lead is interesting and the secondary characters are wonderful in design #The clothes are so beautiful. I love the prostitutes. The expressions of the male lead are great and the perspectives at times are fantastic #The story and characters are honestly better than I was expecting (I was expecting funny toxic not 'damn poor kids I want to adopt you') #But I can't say it's good given idk the way the characters change their goals and ideas so easily in a barely justified way #The art is truly very beautiful. Probably I won't keep reading because like with the Apothecary Diaries I just read these things #for a couple of hours while eating and then forget about them forever. There's Lakan and Fengxiao in the Apothecary Diaries though but yes #Anyway... It wasn't bad. It was unexpectedly better written at first imo. I am sad they are making it more what I actually expected from it #at first. 'Funny toxic' I meant typically sexist stories that are so silly you have just to laugh for a couple hours. I expected that

[sagittariangirl27]

This reminds me of one of my first tumblrs. I started with erotic art, and ended up finding myself. I will be back here soon.

#ok a couple things #not scrolling yet #because I don't wanna get sad #BUT #well for one everything looks like a penis to me right now omggg #I have used my vibe a couple times but mostly I just sit in the feeling #also #I fucking forget how much I LOVE this industry until I get back into it #why do I DO this!? #I just got my boudoir photos back #they are so good #we slapped that shit together and I was a hot mess and they still look fantastic #it's really cool that we used the vintage camera and that they were developed by hand #he scanned them so I can have computer pictures #I guess that's how that works #I've almost gotten to the excited anticipation stage #I've never felt this disconnected #I wonder if my telepathy worked #lol #I am doing all of the things #because I know that's what he would want me to do #and for me too #but fuck I miss that man more than anything #I have really learned to be truly alone #good news is I like myself #so that's cool #bad news is that I need to feel like a hot girl again #that's only bad news because do you know how much work it takes to be a hot girl!? #but it's my favorite thing to do in the world #I have come full circle back to self 🧘🏼‍♀️💋