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tonystarktogo · 7 years

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my friendship of 7 years has ended and im so sad :((( can you give me a tony headcanon? someone comforting tony maybe? pretty please? (tho i dont want this to sound manipulative, you dont have to answer me, sorry if im bothering you)

I’m sorry to hear that, anon! I know there’s probably not a lot I can do right now to make it better, so I’m just gonna give you those headcanons you asked for and hope they make you smile a little!

(And you’re not bothering me. I realise that I might have been a little harsh to another anon who asked for a fic for similar reasons, and it really wasn’t their fault so much as I was in a pretty bad mindset then. I had a lot of other arguments going on regarding being guilted into stuff. But if I don’t feel comfortable or am not in a condition to answer an ask, I’ll simply won’t do it, so don’t let that stop you from sending them in. Just please be understanding if for whatever reason I don’t answer it immediately.)

Now about that comfort: I’ve always imagined Tony to be a very tricky person to comfort because as soon as he suspects you’re doing it, he’ll either make fun of your attempts and disappear into his workshop or make outrageous demands until the other person exasperatedly storms away. But of course the Avengers are ridiculously competitive and several strategies have been developed to circumvent those outcomes:

Natasha is both, the worst at comforting people in general and the best when it comes to comforting Tony. She has this way of artfully bullying him into doing something he loves as a personal favour to her, like shopping, visiting a spa, endless gossip in front of the TV and throwing knifes at posters of the people who upset him (a surprisingly cathartic exercise SHIELD psychologists do not support–in their defence, they don’t support any activity involving weapons and Natasha).

Clint is Tony’s official drinking buddy. There really was no way for him to avoid that designation, since Natasha is not a fun drunk to be around and the other three are immune to alcohol in varying degrees, so. Whenever Tony is in that weirdly specific state in between depression, feelings of never-ending failure and stress-induced panic, Clint will inevitably show up at his doorstep with a bottle of cheap alcohol. They also have a drink recipe book they’re slowly working through whenever they feel like being more sophisticated.

Steve has some very annoying mother-henning tendencies when his team mates are distressed–tendencies that Tony is well known not to tolerate. But this is Steve we’re talking about, and as the most stubborn, sneaky jackass we all know and love, he’s known to slip Tony his favourite comfort food and drinks whenever the genius’ back is turned or he’s otherwise not paying attention. He also likes to sneak up on Tony with warm, fuzzy blankets when he’s almost worked himself into exhaustion and ‘kidnap’ him to watch Pirates of the Caribbean.

Bruce is known to research some pretty complicate riddles and formulas from all across the world, some highly complex mathematical equations, some requiring nothing but logical thinking and a pen, for Tony to play with when he’s in desperate need for a distraction.

Thor isn’t around as often as the others, which doesn’t matter because as it turns out he’s an natural. He circulates between breaking things that are easily fixed but keep Tony’s hands busy while he rants, and all kinds of activities that mostly involve Thor learning about American costumes and then breaking them to make Tony smile. Showing off his bright pink painted nails during a live interview with a Fox News reporter also works–and turns out to be very popular on Social Media.

And well, if nothing else helps, the team pulls out the big guns: they go and get Rhodey.

[Also don’t tell anyone, but Tony has figured most of this out for himself (except Natasha on occasion because she’s Natasha). Which may or may not be the main reason all their strategies are working so well: because Tony knows they’re going out of their way to make him feel better and it makes him feel warm and fuzzy and cared for, no matter how upset he is.]

Hm. Not as fluffy as initially planned but I hope you guys like it anyways. And if you have any other headcanons about how the team comforts Tony, don’t hesitate to share them :)

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