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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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[ID: a digital drawing of characters from the owl house based on the song "up the wolves" by the mountain goats. At the top of the drawing there's a rectangular panel showing Camila and Eda. Camila looks out at the boiling isles at night with her bat. Eda mirrors her pose, with her arm covered in feathers. Shadows form to look like the collectors face, covering Eda's eyes and parts of Camila. Beneath this panel is a star with King and the Collector inside of it, holding hands and spinning midair. Beneath this is the archway portal from thanks to them, which is glowing, and at the bottom of the image is the hexsquad lined up in their designs from for the future, lit by the portal light and looking determinedly into the distance. The lyrics that span the image are "our mother has been absent/ever since we founded Rome/but there's gonna be a party when the wolf comes home". The background is black. End ID]

I knew I couldn't say goodbye to this show without redrawing one of my favorite old pieces, this lyric comic based on Up The Wolves by the mountain goats. I made it pre-ttt and was honestly really vindicated by all the wolf imagery that ep, lmao

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #watching and dreaming #luz noceda #hunter toh #willow park #amity blight #gus porter #eda clawthorne #king clawthorne #the collector toh #camila noceda #I REALLY DID DRAW 9 CHARACTERS FOR THIS DIDN'T I #hate this fucking show and the way it has constantly inspired me to push my own artistic boundaries. mad as hell about that #i don't have time for a full-on tag ramble rn but just know that i am so fucking sad about this show ending and fighting with myself #bc it feels like it'd be so much easier to like. shut my love for it off??? in order to not feel as bad about it ending #I've had a year or so with it (barely tho) surely this can satisfy me #but that's just. straight up not true and makes me feel bad in a whole different way #it is weird!! it's weird that this show I've watched 5 times over is ending and i might never get anything else from it #but I'm not gonna let that sour the show or fandom as a whole for me?? if that makes sense #i love this show top to bottom front to back. not bc it's perfect but bc it sees me and i love it for that #also it's really funny and beautiful and well written and. just. AUGHDHDJDJ!!!!!!! I'M NORMAL!!!#okay i have to go shower now #I'm going to gently leave this with you guys. i put a lot into her. do with it as you will #that's all #i love you 💖

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wikipedie · 1 year

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The train is late and your family is dead

I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it. ― Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time

Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking | The Mentalist season 1, episode 7: Seeing Red | Linda Pastan, The Five Stages of Grief | The Mentalist season 2, episode 23: Red Sky in the Morning | teashoesandhair, grief | The Mentalist season 1, episode 5: Redwood | Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (for Beatrice) | The Mentalist season 4, episode 23: Red Rover, Red Rover | The Mentalist season 5, episode 2: Devil's Cherry | Anne Carson, Glass, irony and god | Jamie Anderson | Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides | The Mentalist season 7, episode 13: White Orchids | Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior

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collinnmckinley · 9 months

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So fucking sick right now... Gambit is dead. Nothing will make anyone play this game mode anymore.

This makes me so angry and emotional... i just can't anymore with this game... the one thing that got me to play the game, which is Gambit, is being buried... no rewards, no effort, no support, no nothing. They're returning one of the old maps, that they removed with beyond light might i add, with the already existing annoying type of enemies (shadow legion, fuck them bitches).

I still had some hope that they'll do something for the game mode, just a little bit of hopium, now even that is gone. I fuckin hate bungie so much right now.

Someone put it right;

Yeah, this is basically it;

#jay talks #fuck bungie #destiny 2 #gambit #destiny #destiny gambit #i am so mad right now #they're swimming in cash from in game cosmetic store #to lawsuit money they won recently #but 'enough resources to make the game better 🥺'#yeah sure we'll believe that #i am so sad and emotional right now #i really want to cry and im not joking #no amount of cayde 6 trailer or content will make me want to love this game like I used to before beyond light

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7-andahalf-rats · 2 months

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sjsm doodles that I did because I suddenly remembered it

#every goddamn time I think to myself “hey maybe I've moved on from sjsm” I am dragged back to the aether #I'm not that mad though I really like sjsm. it just has such a small fandom </3 #ugh I forgot how to tag these mfs #spookys house of jumpscares #spookys jumpscare mansion #sjsm #specimen 8 #specimen 10 #unknown specimen 4 #been drawing more specimens recently. it's a nice break from my usual doodle subjects #which require me to know how to draw skulls and boxes and basic human anatomy. good practice but. makes me sad after a while

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 8 months

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i nod along at every post criticizing seward’s malpractice and arrogance and cruelty and everything and intellectually i am absolutely genuinely interested in many of them and in the general topic of how to read seward and his place in the novel and what the text is doing with madness and rationality and so forth. but in my sick deranged heart on some level at all times i’m like “he’s a depressed workaholic going through a break-up and i could 1000% fix him”

#it’s like there’s all the madness stuff and renfield stuff and it’s all Historically Interesting and Morally Flawed etc #but then also there is a sad weird nerd with no hobbies or social skills who calls to me like a wet kitten and i cannot but answer #why am i like this? don’t know. kinda don’t wanna know. it is what it is #it’s me hi i’m the problem it’s me #for the record i don’t think i’m the only one who could fix him #i truly think that if jack seward could have sex one (1) time he would emerge a different person #doesn’t really matter who #dracula daily

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dazais-guardian-angel · 12 days

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I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 114 #is this meta? i don't know #more like just incoherent rambling lmao #i just don't want Nikolai to die man....... I really don't #i get that people are hyped up on the juicy tragedy of it all but plssssssss it's too soon for him to go #we need so much more of the enigmatic clown...... he's too interesting to lose just yet!!!#i'm sad at probably losing the outcomes i always hoped for him and fyolai but right now i just want More Of Him #he can't die so soon when he's barely even had pagetime #it COULD be fascinating to see Fyodor's reaction to taking over his body but....... i don't think he'd /have/ any right now #they need more time together before one of them dies #i always thought/hoped Fyodor would die first and Nikolai would be left alone to angst lmao but ugh........#now it's really feeling like it'll be the opposite #which again doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing depending on how Asagiri executes it........ I just think this is way too soon for it to happen #i'm gonna be so mad if Nikolai just dies offscreen without us ever hearing from him again because Fyodor possessed his body #poetically cruel and tragic? yes. but also so anticlimactic at this moment in time #never getting to hear from him again.........#ugh i blame all the Fyolai fan creators; they've raised the bar too high 😭😭😭#idk maybe i'm just talking out of my ass though. i probably am. i just feel conflicted about all this and need to see where it goes

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dirt-str1der · 2 months

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I still get scared when i remember kiryu is canonically quite lean and not a fatty at all

#Yakuza loveblog #i really think hes a little tubby and a little shorter #stop making japanese characters taller than 180 ....#you can pick one guy in your series to make that height but not more than tao #two #like there should be a ratio of guys over that height to guys who are normal (160-175 range)#and i say this a lot but i like the idea of kiryu simply being a guy who can dominate the room by presence alone #like he shouldnt be a huge guy he should be above average but being six feet is literally (thinks of a social justice buzzword) whitewashing #fucking haruka is taller than me thats not why im mad i just think that nobody looks at the average height of a country before making their #characters. wait im going to boot up y5 again and see harukas height in comparison to the rest of the people because kiryus always like a #head taller than everyone and while its funny to see him towering over date i think its wrong for him to do that #if anyone tries to argue with me im going to your house and killing myself #sorry i dont feel that strongly about this actually wait i am trying to downplay it im freaking out right now #okay between then and now im okay now but it still makes me so sad

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androidboy · 4 months

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#ive got this awful feeling i just want to scoop out #i feel stupid and sensitive #like ive hardened myself to all this shit so the fact that i’m being affected by it is also making me mad at myself #my family didn’t want me around for thanksgiving and didn’t want me there for the family christmas party and didn’t want to #spend christmas with me because my mom doesn’t want me around the extended family because of how far in my transition i am #and my gf put off asking her fam about bringing me over for christmas for a month #and barely just asked and it sounds like they don’t want me there either #and tbh i kinda knew they wouldn’t #but also i feel like my gf also didn’t actually want me there which is why she put off asking for so long #and idk #i felt like with how far along i am in emotionally and physically recovering from stuff #and then also having a partner for the holidays for the first time #i would’ve left my sad sandra bullock era. but i have not #the only person who wants me around for the holidays is my dad and ive got such a weird relationship with him #and it literally would just be me and him alone #my dads side of the family doesn’t want me there either bc of the trans thing i just feel really fuckin #disgusting #feeling very goop monster

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waywardsunlight · 1 year

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Every time I remember the scene where Belos upsets Luz and she starts crying so he calls her crazy and is like... smug about it I go insane WHAT WAS THAT?! DUde What the fuck. WHY?! A 14-year-old that you pretend to be concerned for before and after this moment is literally on the floor crying and you’re like “LOL”?! He’s terrible at keeping up the charade like... a week later he’s trying to talk her down like she’s some misinformed child (and then after that is like immediately trying to regain sympathy from Hunter by acting like a kicked puppy) like no you’re the fucking child dude what the actual hell. Kiddo is crying in front of you and instead of like... walking away or like doing anything else you’re like “guess it’s time to call her crazy for being upset” HUH?! !!?!?!?!

I think the reason why this pisses me off so much is just that Belos is literally like real people. This is how people like this act, I’ve talked about this with a bunch of people now and Belos really reflects a lot of shitty parents people have had, who seriously act this way. And he’s fucking infuriating.

#seriously the shift between lmao die to its your fault i have to hurt you to hunter please i am so sad take me back is like breakneck #he's so good at it and it makes me mad bc I remember ppl really do this #and I've seen this kind of behavior in people and I'm learning to recognize it #the owl house #tw belos #idk how to tag this #tw gaslighting #for the mention

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crystalkleure · 2 years

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Characters who are intentionally written to be horrible little bastard goblins: ✔️ Hilarious

Characters who are supposed to be viewed as being A Good Person in spite of them continuously doing horrible asshole things that would make any reasonable person fucking punch them IRL: ❌ Infuriating

#.It speaks #About me yo #I HATE THAT SECOND THING SO MUCH #INTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOVED. UNINTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOATHED.#The Goody Two Shoes Good Guy Protag @ their sad friend: ''Hey buddy! I am going to shame you for Not Being Happy!''#''Don't you understand that that's rude to all of your friends? You're killing all of our vibes! It Is Morally Bad To Be Visibly Sad!''#All of the other characters: ''Yeah!! What protag said!! We love you and forgive you @ Sad Guy but you need to stop being sad Right Now!''#And Everybody Claps #Literal worst thing in the world.#Like it is DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT if the protag doing something like this has ACTUAL ACCURATE CONSEQUENCES #Like. Say. Sad Guy bottling too much up for too long and then eventually finally exploding in protag's face.#[And NOT being portrayed as Evil for doing so. Might be SEEN as evil by the protag but Is Not Narratively The Bad Guy For It.]#THAT does not bother me. Fuck yeah Sad Guy tell the emotionally abusive fuck and all their flying monkeys to eat shit.#BUT IF THE LITERAL ABUSED CHARACTER TRYING TO STAND UP FOR THEMSELF MAKES THEM THE VILLAIN OF THE WEEK/SEASON I'M MAD #You know?#Protag who THINKS they are Morally Infallible but is actually perfectly human and wrong/does bad shit sometimes: ✔️✔️✔️#Protag who is a total penis and their dickheadery WINS every time it causes conflict; the /conflict/ is portrayed as unreasonable: ❌❌❌#If you know me really well you can probably guess which specific two characters I am talking about #I hate both of those little bastards so much

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crustose · 6 months

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Even if it happened, I didn't want it to be like that. I dunno. I'm over the apology shit for them. I wish it had been private, that it would have felt more personal than just the mutual sorry for being a dick. Anything. It was just fucked

#i had to pause when the gun went off to burst into tears :(#i think maybe i am done with this show. i dont want to be mad. im just really fucking sad #ofmd s2 spoilers

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paperlovesadness · 10 months

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Me seeing all the comments under Glasto-themed posts blaming Alex for being sick and calling off Dublin