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#i am shaking i am about to cry i am sitting here with full body chills
hoonloml · 1 day
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PARTY ; LEE HEESEUNG
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hoonloml masterlist
pairing : roommate!heeseung x fem!reader
wordcount : 1521 words
warning : um touching her body a little 🤏🏻
chérie speaking : I'm lack of idea for the prince series actually, im this close 🤏🏻 to discontinued. But i still trying find idea. And here i am 😶
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You see Heeseung sitting alone on the sofa drinking in the living room. He looks lost in thoughts, you can hear music playing around you. You carefully sat next to him, your voice tender as you called him by his nickname, "Seung"
He looks up at you silently, his expression remains blank but you see some pain reflected in his eyes. He looks like he will cry but doesn't allow himself to do that. "Hm?"
"You didn't go to the party...?" you asked, a hint of surprise in your voice as you glanced at him. You remembered how desperately he had pleaded for you to come early, but you had to reject his invitation since you were busy with other tasks.
"no,"
He sips the drink and stares at the floor as he puts the glass down. He doesn't wanna look at you, seems like he is trying to avoid eye contact. A few seconds later he looks up at you still silent, he seems a little drunk. He puts the glass down again and turns his head to face the sofa. His lips curl into a bitter smile. "It's not like anybody noticed anyway, right?"
"I'm sorry, Heeseung," you apologized softly, regret lacing your words. "I'm very busy with my assignment."
"I heard that before."
He replies, his voice is cold and emotionless. You are not exactly used to this tone from Jay. Seems like you hurt him more than he showed.
"Look, it's not even a big deal about the party," you reasoned gently, trying to diffuse the tension. "Let's just focus on ensuring you're okay right now."
"I'm not just talking about the party! I'm talking about the whole thing!"
He slams his hand on the table and makes everything fall in place. He is drunk now and he is not keeping his emotions in control anymore.
"I tried. I put my heart in this, I tried to reach out to you, I tried to talk to you, but every time I had to deal with I'm busy, I don't have time bullshit."
"Please, Heeseung. I'll hang out with you after my exams, I promise. Please?" you pleaded earnestly, hoping he would understand your situation.
He puts the glass on the table and turns his body towards you finally looking at you. You can see he is a little mad now, his expression still serious but there's a certain bitterness in it. "You just want me around when it suits you, huh?"
"W-what do you mean?" You asked, your voice is full of uncertainty, and I would like clarification on his intentions.
"You are not interested in me otherwise; you avoid hanging out with me, you give me lame excuses, or don't give me an answer when I ask if you wanna hang out. But you'll come to me and pretend to care the night when I need somebody. Because you need me to make you feel better when you are lonely, right?"
"no, I'm not Heeseung"
"Yeah, sure."
He cuts you off, his eyes narrow. "I don't expect you to understand, I never expected it anyway."
He finishes his drink and tosses the glass behind him, it shatters on the floor in pieces. His voice gets rougher as he continues. "You don't even wanna try."
He stares at you sharply, his body is tense and it's hard to believe this boy is the one who used to be so kind and soft. You recognize it but he seems to be a completely different guy right now.
You were shocked when the glass shattered, your voice filled with concern. "Heeseung, are you crazy? You could get hurt!" you exclaimed, rushing to his side to make sure he was okay.
He didn't seem to care much about the glass. He doesn't look like he is sober anymore, his mood is getting worse and the alcohol is taking over.
"I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."
He trails off for a moment and his grip loosens a little, he's breathing heavier. He shakes his head and clears his throat.
He stands up, a little wobbly, and starts walking towards you. He steps closer to you and puts his hands into your hair, a little roughly, he starts twisting it around his fingers, his grip is tight and your neck is pulled a little. 
"I'm so tired of those words... I'm always there for you, right? Whenever you need me but you.."
"I'm tired... I'm tired of being just your friend while I want something more." 
He says in a low voice. His tone changed suddenly and now he sounds like he is pleading you. He moves his face closer to you and tries to make eye contact.
"You know how I feel about you... So, please...I just need you to be by my side. Do that for me." He sounds soft and a bit desperate, his voice has cracked a little bit. He's getting drunk now.
Before you say anything, he suddenly moves his hand down to your waist and pulls himself closer to you, now he is directly facing you closely and their faces are inches apart. He keeps his grip tight and his other hand goes to your hair pulling you even closer. His breath hitches for a moment when his lips are only inches away from your face but he doesn't kiss you just yet. His hand on your waist gets lower and his gaze is fixed on your lips. He is drunk but he knows what he is doing right now.
"You're drunk, Heeseung... You will regret this tomorrow," you said softly, your words tinged with worry as you watched him, hoping he would listen to reason.
"Maybe I'll regret it." He replies with a strained smile, still doesn't move his lips away from yours. He is not drunk enough to lose control yet.
"But right now I wanna kiss you so let me enjoy it at least for tonight."
He leans in to close the gap and finally, your lips meet. He pulls you even closer as he starts kissing you. His kiss is sloppy, and his mouth is rough but his grip on you only gets tighter, his hand wraps around your lower back pulling you even closer to him.
It's not the kiss you would expect from Heeseung, he is usually sweet and gentle but tonight he is passionate and desperate. His lips bite on you playfully and his hands start gliding against your body. Despite your hesitation at the beginning of his kiss, you begin responding to him now, at first it's hesitant and a little uncertain but eventually you melt in his touch. His kiss turns more aggressive, now it's full of passion which makes your breath catch in your throat
Your bodies are pressed together, your lips parted with him, and his hands are all over your body. Heeseung is completely lost in the kiss. It feels so good, so right, like you have always been meant to belong with each other. His body moves around you while he deepens the kiss, leaning forward and then slowly tilting your head back. There is no reluctance anymore, you both are enjoying the kiss. Your bodies are pressed together tightly, he caresses your hair and neck with one hand while the other one goes lower towards your thigh.
Heeseung's body is pressing against yours now. Both of you are breathing heavily and you can feel his warmth around you, it feels so good. The alcohol has made him so bold and he is not holding back right now. He is slowly bringing down his hands to your thighs before his fingers reach under your shirt. He doesn't move his mouth away from you either to speak, it seems like he wants to keep this moment going for as long as possible.
His lips trail down to your neck and he starts kissing and nibbling on it eagerly, his other hand continues to wander under your shirt but now he is touching your bare skin. Heeseung is completely focused on you now, nothing else is important but the feel of your skin under his fingers. He wants to explore every inch of your body, the feeling of your skin is so addictive.
When his tongue finds its way to your neck and starts sucking on it, your body shivers in response but you don't pull away. Your chest feels like it's heavy and your heartbeat quickens. You put your arms around Heeseung's neck and pull him closer to you, you want to be even closer to him while he explores your body.
Heeseung's mouth is exploring your neck now. He kisses and bites you, he wants to devour you, and he starts to mark you as his. You can feel his warm breath on your skin and the hand under your shirt moves towards your stomach. Heeseung's heart is beating so fast that his chest is trembling, the passion and intimacy is driving him further and further.
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©hoonloml, 2024 - please do not steal, copy, or even repost on other platforms. Thank you 🙏🏻
155 notes · View notes
levilaughlove · 2 days
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☁️► Heads up : M x m romance, cheating/disloyalty, mentions of emotional abuse, manipulation & gaslighting. Reader is taller than Levi by 3 in. Mentions of mental breakdowns & indecent language & ofc, smut.🗞 > Chapter 1 .
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""Is this really how low you think of me?", Is what she asked me, Levi, am I the issue?" Your broken voice explains the situation to your longtime best friend, Levi Ackerman.
"I know I shouldn't have came to her like that..I should've been softer." You continued, only lower this time. "You did what you felt was right." Levi finally says. "How much kinder can you be to that self-absorbed bitch? She's drained all of your energy." He adds, hyperfocusing on your sleep-deprived eyes.
"If I showed you photos of what you looked like before you met her, you'd be astonished." He snarls.
"I know you're upset with her but, she is my wife." You defend. "Your wife or your disease?" You chuckle at his snappy remark.
The two of you sit in comfortable silence until your phone begins to vibrate. The device lights up revealing an incoming call. Levi sighs at the name on screen.
"How fucking convenient..." Levi murmurs. You gaze at him pleadingly & he whisps his hand through the air as a sign to answer it. You pick up the phone & accept the call.
"Hello?" You ask.
A muffled female voice could be heard from the other line. She doesn't sound too happy.
Levi's gray eyes glare at the phone ,then, rolls his eyes and falls back onto the bed. "A-alright, (f/n), I'll be home soon. Bye-bye." You quickly end the call.
"What did it say?" Levi asks unenthusiastically. "It? Levi, I know you don't like her but, please..." "I don't care, that's how she treats you, what makes her any better?" He quickly adds. You couldn't argue that.
Levi stares at you with an unexplainable expression in his eyes. "Before you think about going off anywhere, at least eat. She can wait 30 minutes." He says, arising from the bed & leaving the room. You follow quickly behind.
"I've got lots of options, mozzy sticks, mac & cheese, I can make you an egg & bacon sandwich.." He continues. "Egg & bacon sounds nice..." You accept shyly. Levi hums & begins to get the items.
While you waited, you began to think. You were so grateful that Levi still takes care of you, even after all these years. You reminisce on your favorite memory of him. It was bittersweet ,but the love & care you had for one another was evident. You were 4, Levi was 7 & he was moving far from your shared hometown. You were his closest friend & he was yours. On the bridge could be seen young you clinging onto Levi tightly with tears in your innocent eyes. Levi tried to keep a stone face even then but couldn't help how his heart felt.
" I'll be back, this isn't forever...pea. Stop crying.." Levi's voice shakes and he hold yours small body, hesitant to let go. "Why...please stay, I need you here.." Your tears kept flowing down your full cheeks, eyes loosely closed. A woman's voice called for Levi to hurry up. "I gotta go now, kay'?" Levi quickly wipes his tears, giving another attempt at a stone face. "Bye." "Goodbye, pea."
Just the thought of it makes you choked up but it doesn't just have a sad tinge anymore, but an innocent, admirable one. You wonder if Levi remembers that.
"Earth to M/n." Levi says loudly. "Hm? Yeah..." You look down to see Levi had finished making the food. Levi looks concerned for a second before returning back to his ordinary expression. You ended up staying much longer than anticipated. You knew your wife would raise hell once you were home.
"Fuck, it's been 2 hours..." You exclaimed worriedly. "If anything goes down, you could always come to me." Levi says trying to relax you.
You give him a thankful gaze before heading to the front door. Looking back once, you wave to Levi, which he nods to.
.
.
You cautiously open the front door to your house.
Your wife is sat on the couch, already meeting eyes with you. She looks furious. "I called you at 2:00 & you're only just getting home at 4!?" She screams then bolts over to you, trying to force intimidation. "Who are you fucking, huh?" She screams again.
"I was at a friend's...(f/n)." You slightly dismiss her and wander off to your shared bedroom, undressing yourself as she follows closely behind.
"So why the fuck couldn't you say so? You need to respect me more! Do you know that at any moment I could fuck you over!? WHO DO YOU THINK THEY'LL BELIEVE?! Me!" She lashes out snatching your phone from your hand, shattering it onto the wooden floor below.
You went into a state of shock, your eyes hyperfocused on her enraged person, everything that wasn't here seemed to look like static. You began to get dizzy. You held your head as you almost lost your footing. Levi, you need Levi. You can't breathe.
You shove past her, she falls to the ground forcefully. You just want to go. You need comfort, why is she like this? This wasn't who she was when you first met her! The rain is heavy outside as you push past the front door and onto the sidewalk, cars rush past you, adding to your anxiety. Your breathing gets heavier and heavier. It's hard to see due to the rain, you're uncomfortable & soaked. The rain wasn't the only thing dampening your face, but your heavy, warm tears.
Finally, the familiar door number 255 came into sight. You banged as hard as you could on the door. Crashes of lightning roar through the sky.
Levi opens the door & your soaked body immediately crashes onto his. He understood without words. You hyperventalate & try to explain but he hushes you, he already knows. Your eyes red & teary holding onto Levi tight, & likewise him to you.
Everything began to fade to nothing.
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countcvnt · 24 days
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Experiment
Chapter Two: Bad Dreams
[Poly!TF141/Fem!Reader]
[Ch. One]
Summary: You realize, while asleep, that just because you're out of the facility doesn't mean you're completely free. Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, mentions of blood and vomiting (nothing too graphic), Angsty Simon Word Count: ~3.5k (don't quote me on that) A/N: Was gonna wait to post this, but it's on my AO3 already (i posted this first ch. a couple days ago on there, but am just posting it here now) so i wanna post it here too. I have Covid, and time to write, so why not post it now? Hope you enjoy~ The angst is only going to pick up from here tbh
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You toss and turn in bed. Your covers are strewn across the room and you’re sweating. Your eyes are screwed shut as you lie there whimpering. You can’t even force yourself awake.
“You are not acting very nice.”
Your gaze does not even meet the scientist’s. His eyes bore into yours, but you can not force yourself to look at him. Instead, you stare at the floor. Your mind is racing, you are everywhere and nowhere all at once.
“Did you hear me?” He asks. You nod. “Then act better.” He marks something down on his clipboard and you watch him closely now. “Next time, there will be no warning. You will be punished.”
You nod again. Your hands rest on your thighs, gripping your bare thighs and shaking violently. Your whole body is shaking. At this point, you can’t think of a time you weren’t shaking. Your eyes cut from the man’s hands and up to him. You see the reflection of the bright lights of the lab in his glasses. You sniffle slightly.
“You look sick.” He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours. You don’t look away this time. “After all this-” He motions around him. “That won’t happen anymore. You won’t have to worry about silly little sickness or your immune system at all. You know, after all of this, you will be the best.”
If it works, You think. You are almost certain you should have died by now. You have absolutely no clue what they have been injecting you with. You know it makes you sick. That’s about the extent of your knowledge. Well, you also know, you can die at any given moment. Whether the medicine or the guards around you takes you. Something can happen any time, and you just have to let it happen.
You remember lying in your ‘room’, throwing up blood and bile. No one checked on you. Not until the next round of testing. They gave you nausea medicine and you only hoped it’d work. Now, you're staring down the scientist who has ‘stuck by your side’ through all of the experiments. He is the only one who survived, you think. There have been several others. But you only saw them once or twice.
You aren’t sure if or how they died. You don’t like to think about it.
“We are going to test pain tolerance today.”
You perk up, in the least enthusiastic way possible. It caught your attention and set your skin ablaze. What does this entail? You can’t help but run through scenarios in your mind. The scientist pulls out a smaller syringe and places a needle in it. It’s full of a clear liquid. You don’t move. You’ve learned it’s best to not move.
He motions for you to hold out your arm. You do so, willingly. You’ve also learned it’s best to do as you’re told. He injects the needle into a vein and you try to stay relaxed. You whimper and shut your eyes. Suddenly, everything is on fire. Your body burns. A scream releases from your throat and you fall from the metal stool you had been sitting on. You curl up, clawing, scratching at your skin.
You begin to beg, “Please!” You scream for someone to stop it. “Please, help me!”
“Don’t worry,” His voice is so monotone. “It’ll pass. This is completely normal.”
You sit there, screaming and crying as the pain grows worse. You wonder if you yell loud enough if the guards would step in. But, so far, no one has stepped in. No. One. You can’t count on anyone. Not anymore. Your clawing slows down, the burning subsides. You relax and let out a small whimper. You sit up and inhale slowly. You slump over and look up at the man in front of you.
“Better?” He asks. You nod. “Good, now get back up.” You follow his instructions. “Now, I have a scalpel here. I’m going to poke you-” Your eyes widen. “-I’m not going to stab, or cut deep. I’m just checking pain levels.”
You sit back on the stool and hold your arm out again. The man grabs the scalpel from the side table and pokes into your arm. Blood rises and drips down. You feel pressure from the poke, but nothing else. You don’t react. You soon find out, maybe you should have.
“Hm, nothing?” Everything seems to be going according to plan for him and whoever was coordinating this. “Okay, next test.”
The scalpel is dug into your skin. Dull pain comes to the area, but you aren't feeling anything you should be feeling. You are too startled to scream. Blood rushes down your forearm and your eyes widen. You have learned to not pull away, so you stay there.
“Astounding…” He grabs the gauze from the small table and wraps your arm. “We will continue testing this in the morning.” He motions for some guards to come in. “I have to make sure that this… This is permanent.”
“If it’s not?” The words slip out.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
The words, his tone, they send chills up your spine. You are grabbed, harshly, by the guards and pulled into the hallway, out of the little, ‘cozy’ lab. Your eyes adjust to the dim lights of the hall and you squint. You are dragged to your ‘room’. The guard flashes his card in front of the door and it slides open. They toss you in, you hit the floor. There is no pain this time.
You want so badly for that to be a good thing. You can’t help but feel sick to your stomach though. You crawl to your mattress and lay down. You don’t even have a cover. You sigh. You curl up and go to sleep.
You wake in a cold sweat. A scream rips from your throat and your body tenses. Your breathing is ragged and a knock is coming from your door. You look towards it. You examine your surroundings. You exhale trying to calm yourself.
“Ace!” The knocking becomes violent.
Your brows furrow. You stand from your bed and walk towards the door. You swing it open and find Gaz standing there. His eyes lock with yours, before falling to your sweaty, sticky form.
“Who’s Ace?” You ask, not caring that he is probably staring at your chest.
“Sorry,” He mumbles and tries to close your door. “I shouldn’t-”
“No,” You swat at his hand, opening the door further. “Who is Ace?” A cool breeze hits your bare legs and you realize why he’s being so funny. Your mouth forms an ‘o’ and you step back. You remember that you’re wearing your tank top and panties. You grab your shorts and throw them on. “I’m Ace, aren’t I?” You finally ask.
“That is… Was your call sign.”
You notice Gaz swallow hard. You can’t help but wonder what has him so shook up. He had to have seen some thighs and cleavage before. It registers, he must not have seen yours. You make note of that.
“It’s okay, Gaz,” You reassure him, “I promise it’s fine if you look at me.” You’re trying to not laugh. You can’t help but smile though. His eyes cut from the floor and up to you.
“Are you laughing at me?” He asks, you can see him grow embarrassed and irritated.
“You’re being silly,” Your smile widens. You watch Gaz relax. You cock your head. “Acting like I’m the first pair of thighs you’ve seen in your life.”
Gaz groans. “You don’t like-” He stops himself. “You used to not be comfortable with us seeing you like this. I don’t wanna overstep any boundaries.”
“You’re very sweet, Kyle.” He lights up as you call him by his name. “I do remember being that way though… I had always been that way ever since I can remember.” Which isn’t very much, you decide it would be best to not joke about that though. “But, I guess becoming a little lab rat kinda nipped that in the bud.”
Gaz doesn’t ask further questions. “I came to check on you, because you’re thirty minutes late.”
“Let me guess,” you purse your lips, “I used to never be late.”
Gaz is at a loss for words. “Well, no! You and Price were always first at debriefings.”
You note that as well. “I guess I need to change?” You question him. Gaz keeps from dropping eye contact. You are sure you need to change. Going to whatever you needed to go to, with nothing but a tank top and shorts on would probably not be the best look on your first real day back. “I’m fucking with you, Gaz.” You turn from him and he huffs. You grab some clothes from the dresser. Gaz excuses himself and you decide it’s best to not fuck with him further.
As he closes your door, you begin to mentally prepare yourself for what the day holds. You know you’ll be digging up old memories. You know recent wounds will resurface. You have to prepare now. You run through different questions and answers.
You're on autopilot as you get dressed. You finish up and walk back towards your door. You swing it open and find Gaz waiting. “Oh, you’re still here.”
“Figured you’d need help finding the room. Unless you don’t-”
“No, no,” You interrupt, “I don’t- I don’t know where the room is.” Having to admit that hurts. Gaz catches that. He doesn’t say anything further. You follow him down the hall and through a corridor. You reach a double door and Gaz lets you in first. You spot Price, then Soap, then Ghost. Every last one of them seems uncomfortable.
You walk into the middle of the room and stand there. The door closes behind Gaz and he walks up beside you. You stand there waiting for anyone to say something. No one breaks the silence, so you decide to.
“I don’t think I like sleeping alone.” You look at Price. “I haven’t- I didn’t have a roommate in the-” You keep stopping yourself. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a roommate. I don’t know how I'd react to one. But I can not sleep alone.”
Price nods. “That can be fixed.” He is reassuring. “We'll get you set up with-”
“I want it to be one of you.” You interrupt him. All of them tense. “I know I don't remember much of anything… but you four seem to know me the best. I want it to be one of you four.” You nod to yourself as you say the last sentence.
“Do you have a preference?” Price seems like he isn't judging who you pick, but you can't help but feel like they're all judging which one you pick.
“How about-” You place a finger on your chin. “We could alternate?”
“Alternate sleeping arrangements?” Ghost speaks up.
“That can be arranged.” Price nods. “We can talk more about that later. We really need to figure out what you do know.”
“Easy,” you shrug, “I know I have a mom and dad- We moved a lot growing up. I know that I used to be self conscious.” You remember this morning.
“Used to be?” Soap asks.
“Well, yeah, being stuck in a lab changes a person.” The whole room becomes uncomfortable. “Sorry…”
“It's alright, love,” Gaz pats you on the back, and you look at him. You don't tense. You don't attack. You just stare. Your stomach flips out how he says ‘love’. “But that's not what he meant. Do you have any information on what was happening?”
You inhale slowly and close your eyes. “Okay. I don't know where I was. But I do know people came and… uh went. A lot. Do I know where they went? No. I'm assuming the guards took care of them. It was too important for people to just come and go as they pleased. The experiments were too-” You pause. “Classified. But the scientist that was with me when Soap saved me, that was my main scientist. I never got anyone's name. They said I would get, uh, stuff like that if the experiments fully worked. I'm not sure they ever had it work though-”
“On others?” Ghost interrupts. You nod. “There were others?”
“Yeah. I mean, I think so. I overheard a couple times, of different,” you pause again, thinking of what they called you, “subjects just… dying. In reality, I don't know why I'm not dead. I also believe there were more because I was dubbed Subject Five. There were, I assume, four before me. Unless they just wanted to call me Five.” You shrug, growing uncomfortable. “I do know, for a fact, they were only getting military personnel.”
“Dae ye ken how come thay picked ye?” Soap is about as uncomfortable as you are now.
“Not entirely. But the scientist had said that I was compliant. I was… pliable, that is the word he used when I walked in for the very first round of testing. He didn't want me. He made that very known. But he had me, so he did everything he could to make everything work. It wasn't always smooth. But,” you shrug, “it is what it is.”
You see Ghost shift. He looks angry. It's making you more uncomfortable. “What do you mean, it wasn't always smooth?”
“The testing was extensive. The amount of times I've been poked and jabbed is unknown at this point. I mean,” you roll your head to the side, exposing your neck, “I have little scars littering my body from… everything.”
Price can tell you're growing tense. “Have you eaten this morning?”
“Not hungry.” You respond, trying to seem as normal as possible. “But, I would like to shower… I haven't had a hot shower in, uh, four months. I only ever got cold ones.”
“One of us can show you where-”
“No, no,” you wave your hand, “I saw it earlier. I'm sure I can find it myself. You four probably have a lot to talk about. I'll be out of your hair now.” You force a smile.
You exit the room and head back to your room. That probably wasn't going to be your room much longer. You grab some clothes and head towards the showers.
Your head hurts and you want nothing but to sit in hot steam and scrub yourself under scalding hot water. You make your way into the showers and find it empty. You sigh. You go into one of the little showers and close the door. You turn on the water and relax as the warmth hits you. You groan and roll your head back. It's the nicest you have felt in months. ——————————— Simon has not felt so angry in so long. He wants to find who did this to you and kill them. Every single one of them. The way you had seemed to shrink when talking about what happened. How you look to be a shell of your former self. And how you probably don't even remember your former self.
“What do you mean we are going to alternate sleeping arrangements?” Johnny asks. Simon wants to know how it’s going to work too.
“That’s up to her.” Price finally says. “I’m assuming she’ll pick one of us to stay with during the night. We can change it every night. Or however often she needs.”
Simon needs you to pick him. But, he also hopes you don’t. Your last interaction with him has seemed to have left a horrible taste in his mouth. He wants to protect you so badly, still. Maybe you don’t need it now, or anymore. But he has to. Even if you don’t remember what happened.
“Simon,” Price’s voice is low, soft, reassuring. “This is not your fault.”
“You keep saying that.” He growls. “You weren’t there. I was. End of story.”
Simon plays the night over and over in his head. Every day. Ever since you were taken. The night at the safe house. It was you and him… It could have been him they snatched up. But it had to be you. He can’t stop thinking about how differently it could have been if it were him they took. He isn’t so pliable… His blood is boiling.
“Ghost,” Johnny speaks, bringing him back down, “she’s okay now.” He places a hand on Simon’s shoulder and tries to reassure him. Everyone is so reassuring… Simon wishes they would stop. He isn’t used to not being able to contain himself. And yet, here he stood. Seething. Ready to bash the heads in of anyone who even thought about bringing harm to you. He can’t take it.
“Fuck this.” He needs to clear his head. “I gotta go.”
Price, Johnny, and Kyle let him leave. Simon thinks maybe a hot shower would help him as well. He inhales deeply as he walks towards the showers. The door swings open and Simon realizes there is only one shower running. Good. All he can hear is water. Steam covers the room. It’s practically a sauna. The water stops running.
Then he hears it. Soft humming. A hum he knows he’s heard before.
Memories are flooding back. Your fingers running through his hair, his head on your chest, and your soft hums the only thing he can hear. Suddenly he can’t breathe. He’s frozen. He’s moving in autopilot momentarily. He’s making his way towards you. He spots you. A towel is wrapped tightly around you and your back is to him. Your hums turn to singing and Simon reaches you. He opens his mouth to speak and he realizes too late he has startled you.
He’s reaching for your shoulder when your hand grabs him. You swing him around and slam him into the concrete wall. Every bit of breath is knocked out of Simon. Your hand is on his throat and your eyes are dark. Simon notes they’re way darker than he’s ever seen.
“Oh. It’s you.”
“You’re in the men’s showers.”
Simon watches as your face drops. You look around. “No one was in here. I didn’t- My brain was too foggy.”
Simon’s hands are up. He relaxes as you let him go and his eyes don’t leave yours as you fix the towel covering you. His eyes briefly drop and he looks at the scars littering your skin. You were right. They’re mostly smaller scars, but there is one on your forearm, right under the bend of your elbow. There was force behind that one.
“Should have let us show you where it was.” He smiles under his mask. You look embarrassed. “I’ll make sure no one comes in, if you wanna get dressed, love.”
It slips out. Naturally. He tenses as the word leaves his lips. Love… His back is to you as you get dressed. He does not dare peek. As he begins to relax, words leave your mouth causing him to tense all over again.
“Ghost?”
He wants you to call him Simon. “Hm.”
“Gaz called me ‘love’ earlier too… I know it’s a British thing, but the way you both said it-” Simon tenses as you pause. “What were we? All of us?”
Simon really does not know how to answer that. He can easily tell you about him and Johnny, or about Price and Gaz. But you? Fuck, it was confusing. He didn’t entirely know what you were with the others. But he did know the both of you were close. But, never like that…
He says your name. His eyes shut. “That’s complicated.”
“Hm…” He hears you hum. “You can turn around now.”
Simon turns to find you approaching him. You’re dressed and holding your towel in your hands. “Sorry about earlier… I don’t know what happened. I didn’t know it was you-”
“It’s fine.” Simon motions for you to walk in front of him, letting you leave before him. He watches you closely. He wonders if you can feel his eyes on you. If you can, you don’t say anything. Simon wants nothing more than to reach out, rest his hand on the small of your back, and walk you to where you’re going. He refrains.
“I’m sort of hungry now…” Your words bring Simon back. “Can you show me to the cafeteria?”
Simon nods, “Of course.”
He walks in front of you. His body begins to lead the way, while his brain is stuck on you slamming him into the wall. He can’t stop thinking about it now. Processing it. You looked absolutely feral, and a little terrified. He tenses, his fingers curling into his palms, as he thinks about what happened to you to make you that way.
Simon doesn’t want to have to go through the pain of remembering certain things. But he hopes that if you do remember who snatched you up, that you will tell him who it was. So that he can cause them just as much turmoil.
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rafescokewhore · 3 months
Note
maybe something with fluff #6?! like rafe is really sad and he's like crying (could be about anything) and actually opening up to the reader, and then he asks that. I've never seen a story where he actually cries/opens up, and I need it.
》 stay with me — rafe cameron
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he’s so precious- bye
ᡣ𐭩 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: rafe x fem!reader
ᡣ𐭩 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1.4k
ᡣ𐭩 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: marijuana use, angst, swearing, lots of fluff, sad!rafe, not proofread. i think that’s all!
ᡣ𐭩 𝐀/𝐍: i had to change the prompt line slightly in order to go along/make sense with how you wanted the storyline! <3 i love writing this.
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you jolted awake, hearing a few loud bangs on your front door. you sat up, squinting and looking around confused. who the hell was banging on your door at-
you picked up your phone on the nightstand, the screen illumining and showing 3:55 am
you sigh, setting your phone down just as another few loud knocks on your front door erupt through the quiet house. you attempted to rub the sleep out of your eyes, standing up and venturing out of your bedroom. it was a challenge getting down the stairs in your sleepy state but you managed.
“y/n, it’s me,” the voice said before more knocking, this time, a bit quieter.
“rafe?” you questioned, jogging to the door and opening it. you look up at the tall man on your doorstep. he was in a gray t-shirt that said some college on it, and pajama bottoms. his hair was disheveled and his eyes baggy, a very rare sight of rafe cameron from his usual well kept appearance.
“rafe, is everything okay?” you furrow your brows, rubbing your eye again. he takes notice of your fuzzy sweatpants and thin crop tank top. he smiles half-heartedly, “you look cute,”
you look down at your pj’s, blushing and mentally hating yourself for showing up to the door like this. but the bigger thing was why was rafe at your door? you’ve talked to him a few times, but he often teased you along with topper and kelce so you usually strayed away from him and his posse.
rafe looks at you through his lashes. he didn’t have to to say anything, you knew something was wrong by the sad look on his face and the overall state of his person. but you of course wondered what could’ve happened to rafe cameron that had him on your doorstep, asking to sleep here. you motioned to the steps leading up to your porch, following rafe to sit on them, shutting the door behind you.
the two of you sat side by side on your front steps, staring out at the dead street. you pulled a blunt out of your pocket, showcasing it to rafe. he looks at the perfectly rolled blunt pinched between your fingers, and chuckles.
“did you- did you just pull that out of your ass?” he laughs.
you laugh, shaking your head,
“i promise i did not pull this from any body part,” you giggle, grabbing out your lighter and lighting the end of the roll. you close your eyes, inhaling deeply before passing the blunt to rafe, holding your breath. he gratefully takes it, taking a hit, the two of you exhaling together.
“can i ask why you’re here?” you ask, holding the blunt gently between your forefinger and middle. rafe looks out onto the street and for a moment he looks… sad? like he wants to cry. what’s got him so bothered? you felt awful for him, your heart cracking and aching.
“it’s complicated,” rafe sighs, taking the blunt from you and take a long, strong drag. “try me,” you chuckled dryly, taking a long hit of your own. rafe wanted to tell you everything, he wanted to trust you so bad… maybe he could?
your ripped from your inhale of mary jane when you hear a sniffle next to you. you side eye rafe, confused at first, until you see a pearly tear roll down his cheek. your heart sinks and you turn to him a bit more, placing a soft hand on his back.
“i’m so sorry to show up to your house like this. i know i haven’t always been nice to you,” he sobs out, his tears streaming down his reddened cheeks. you put out the blunt, fully turning to rafe, giving him your full attention.
“rafe it’s okay, you can talk to me,” you reply softly, taking your his hands in yours. he looks down at your hands before looking up into your eyes, his eyes holding so much hurt and sadness. you furrow your brows softly, searching him for some sort of answer. his tears start up again, rafe breaking down in sobs.
“i’m not sure how much longer i can take it, y/n. my dad is so fucking hard to please. no matter what i do, sarah reigns supreme. i try so hard and i give him my all and it goes right over his head. i’m trying to make a man of myself and he just won’t let me. the only time he shows up for me is to tear me down. the drugs are my only escape but they’re becoming my biggest problem. i’m just so fucked up, i don’t know where my life is going anymore. the thoughts in my head get louder and they’re not safe or decent thoughts. they’re sickening,” rafe sobs out, you allowing him to get everything out in one go. you knew it was what he needed and you wanted to hear everything he had to say in order to accurately help him.
your one hand rubs his back, the other hand still holding his. your heart breaks for the man before you. inside and under all the rock hard rafe features, was a child who sought respect from his father. you couldn’t imagine how painful this all has had to be for rafe.
“rafe, i am so so sorry you’re going through all this. i’m here for you all the way,” you assure him, gently squeezing his hand. you weren’t sure what just made rafe open up to you, but you didn’t want to ask or push your luck. you’ve never ever seen this side of rafe and as horrible as it was, it was refreshing. a reminder than under all the evil facade, he was still a human being with problems clouding his judgement.
rafe leans into you, hiding his face in his hands. you wrap your tiny arms tightly around his large torso, laying your head on his shoulder as the two of you sat in silence, listening to each other breathe. this was why, even through the teasing, he’s always liked you. rafe always carried a soft spot for you and this was why. you were so caring, kind, compassionate. you were exactly the type of person rafe needed in his life and he was so glad to have you in it one way or another.
“i don’t think i’ll be able to sleep. can i stay here?” rafe asks anxiously, his heart racing as he feared the worst. rejection. if he received it from his own father, he’d receive it from anyone else.
“of course you can,” you smile at him softly, rubbing his back some more as he looks longingly into your sparkling eyes.
“you’re amazing you know that?” he says, sniffling.
“i’ve been told,” you wink, laughing softly as you begin to stand up, offering your hands out to rafe. he gladly grabs a hold of your hands, the two of you working to help him stand up.
“seriously though, thank you for taking the time to listen to me. you’ve always secretly been my favorite person. i could tell from the moment i met you how absolutely amazing, kind, and gentle you were,” rafe smiles, looking down at you. you smile back up at him and nod your head.
“you’ve always secretly been mine. i could tell from the moment i met you, that you were the person who needed the most love and compassion,” you make your own twist to what he originally said. rafe chuckles lightly, shaking his head and smiling down at you.
“can i hug you?” he asks and you thought he’d never ask. he looks like he gives the best hugs, his height being a major factor.
you said nothing, you instead closed the space between the two of you, hugging him tightly. your head was against his chest, your ear hearing the thumping of his heart just as his arms wrapped around you. his embrace to you was as equally as tight, the two of you hugging each other like you’d lose each other if you let go.
you guided rafe into your house, insisting he sleeps in your bed tonight. you know the both of you could benefit from it, plus you always slept better with someone next to you. rafe thanked you over and over again, but you insisted that it was no trouble and you truly cared for him.
the night finally ended with your hands cupping each others cheeks, your lips on each others, moving ever so softly in the most passionate and gentle kiss you think you’ve ever experienced. he was already falling deep in love with you.
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🏷️ @jjmaybankisbae @drewstarkeyslut @rafescokenostril @spookyscaryspoon @f4ll-for-you @angelofcigs
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thousandsun · 3 months
Text
ASL brothers reacting to your insecurities
Warnings: eating disorders,mention of food,breakdown
Sabo
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You are looking in the mirror at your body realizing you've put on some weight. You've been sitting there,like this for a few good minutes. Sabo passes by your room noticing you. He feels like something is wrong. The blonde comes up to you wrapping his hands around your waist. He places a little kiss on your cheek."What happened,my love?" He asks resting his head on your shoulder.
"I've got so ugly. I got a double chin now" You reply. Sabo could feel the disappointment in yourself.
"Ugly?" He looks at you through the mirror. "I don't see anything ugly about you." His voice is calming and comforting. "All I see is my girl, being as beautiful as always"
"Sabo, don't lie to me..." You feel your confidence going down even more. You think he is just trying to make you feel better even though you're ugly. He is so precious that he would do anything for you.
"But I am not lying. Your face,your body,they are all so perfect" You feel a soft kiss on your neck. "Can't believe I got myself such a gorgeous woman"
You giggle hearing his words. He sure knows how to make you feel better. "Thank you" You whisper softly
Ace
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He is the type of guy who observes your every move. He wants to know you're always fine. You deserve the best life and he wants to dedicate all his time to give you that.
When he saw you not eating properly,he had some questions and worries. Yet he decided to shut up and give you some space. That until he noticed you were barely eating at every meal of the day.
"What happened to you lately? Why aren't you eating anymore?" He suddenly snaps. He is sitting in front of you,at the table. You avoid his eye contact trying to seem like you didn't hear anything. Your body betrayed you and you flinched.
Ace's eyes softened realizing he was a bit too straight forward. "Hey. I am not mad. Just concerned"
The room falls in complete silence. You finally look at him, indicating you want to say something. You find yourself struggling to speak. Ace grabs your hand slowly caressing it with his fingertips. You feel the trust he gives in you,you feel it giving you power. "I don't feel good in my body lately."
Ace's eyes widen. He can't understand. He can't understand how you don't love your body the way he does. He knows your body is incredible,yet you can't seem to see it. He isn't the type of guy to comfort you with words so he pulls you into a warm hug. You hide your face into his chest crying.
He plays with a strand of your hair, admiring you. "Let it all out. I am here."
Luffy
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Tonight,he couldn't sleep, feeling very hungry. So he sneaks into the kitchen. As he enters the kitchen carefully,like Usopp taught him,he sees a small light. Confused he comes closer and notices you, eating with the fridge door open.
You hear steps coming closer to you. You turn with fear seeing Luffy. Tears start falling from your eyes. "Luffy... I can't stop. I can't stop falling in this cycle again and again.Please forgive me..."
Luffy looks at you even more confused. He doesn't seem to understand much. One thing he does understand is that he wants to protect you. "I don't mind sharing food! You don't have to get sad"
You realize he's Luffy. He doesn't know what an eating disorder is. "Luffy,I am full,yet I can't stop eating. I don't want this... I don't want to eat."
His gaze changes. He realized that you have a problem. That your brain doesn't seem to listen to you. He closes the fridge door. He lifts you up, carrying you to the kitchen table. "I know I can't help you. But I can encourage you to talk to someone like Nami or Robin." He says sitting on your lap cuddling you.
You shake your head in fear. "No. I can't talk to anyone... I am too embarrassed."
"No,no,no!" He pouts giving you a judgy look.He begins shaking you. "Youuu! Neeeed! Heeeelp"
You stop him amused by his reaction. "I can understand if you talk to me normally. I am not a baby"
Luffy pouts even more. You sigh kissing his forehead. "Fine,fine. I'll talk to them. Just give me a few days"
His face gets brighter. "That's my girl!" He grabs your face not leaving a spot unkissed.
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neteyamslovrr · 10 months
Text
WRONG TO WANT YOU - PT2
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summary: ever since you stepped foot onto the land of his clan he couldn't help but feel drawn to you. everything about you he craved. but he couldn't have you. not while his son called you his.
contents: 1.8k words, fem!sullyreader, swearing, cheating, ooc ao'nung, very mean ao'nung, what a bitch man, cute wari, cute sully family
authors note: part 2!!!! i've been motivated to write so im taking advantage of this. this chap isn't wari heavy but it's JUICY (laughing evilly while typing this)
(reader is 21 and tonowari is around 40. when they came to the clan she was 20 so they've only been there a year!! all characters aged up)
previous / next
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The ache in your head was outstanding. It was as if your brain was pounding and bashing against your own skull. The nauseous swirling in your stomach as your eyes slowly adjusted to the light shining through the crack of your marui’s entrance.
Sitting up, your sight was foggy. Rubbing your eyes with your fingers, the surroundings slowly moving into focus.
Wait. This marui…it is different. The space is larger… the decorations are nothing like you’d seen before. A feeling of fear welled in your stomach and sunk to your toes as you tried to remember the events from before.
Though as you turned to your right and noticed a softly snoring giant next to you, you let out a blood-curdling scream. Why were you in the chief’s bed? How drunk had you become. Oh no… nothing happened … did it?
Tonowari shot up in an instance, his heart racing and eyes blown wide in alert. “Are you hurt?” He asked concerned, eyes full of anxiety, then filling with realization… Ah last night.
“Why am I here?! Why am I in your bed? Did we fuck!? Oh great mother!” You were frantic, practically shaking as you’d instinctively held the blanket to your body, almost like a child cowering behind their mother.
“No. No! Let me explain, be calm please.” Tonowari had woken up abruptly, the consequences of his actions last night hitting him in the face, much too early in the morning. Yet, in all of this chaos, he couldn’t deny how beautiful you looked when the morning sun bounced off your sapphire skin. How your hair splayed across your shoulders, delicate hands close to your heart, gripping tightly onto the weaved blanket he had made years ago. Years before his mind and thoughts were corrupted by you.
“I shouldn’t be here…” You shake your head trying to rid of the horrific scenarios of your drunken stupidity out of your head. How had you ended up in the bed of your ex-boyfriend’s father. The same man who you had shamelessly dreamt about every night. He was so much older yet, your youth was attracted to him. Like two magnets pulling each other close.
“Y/N. Listen just for a moment.” His pleading eyes stared into yours. Oh how could you deny such a man filled with sweetness. He was like sugar so sweet, so addicting.
A small nod gave Tonowari the clearance to inhale deeply and start to explain the situation. “You were drunk last night…and so was I.” This only made you panic more. Two drunken idiots, that are most definitely attracted to each other?
“Please let me finish.” Tonowari pleaded seeing your eyes filling with anxiety once again. He wanted to caress your cheek, force you to stare into his eyes as he told you it was all going to be okay. But how could he allow himself to give in to that urge? What type of man would that make him?
“I followed you towards some the rocks…I was afraid you would hurt yourself. You started to cry and wail about … my son.” He winced at the mention of the Ao’nung situation that had occurred leading you to this mess. You winced as well, the memory barely fading from your memory. It stung in your heart and scratched your insides…it hurt so much. “I comforted you and took you here to sleep for the night. I did not want you going home alone.”
You nodded still grasping the situation ahead of you. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” It was incredibly embarrassing. The thought of him seeing you in such a wreck.
Tonowari frowned, a touch on your shoulder. He told himself it was friendly, but the way his fingers lit up with the feeling of your skin he couldn’t even kid himself. “Do not dare to apologize…the stupidity of my son is not something you should have ever had to endure. Y/N…I am sorry.”
He was so earnest. So honest. His words softly caressing your heart and making it flutter. Tears fought their way to well in your eyes. You refused to cry any more in front of your chief.
“Thankyou. But I should go. My family must be getting worried.” Why was your heart aching to stay, to once again cry in those huge, muscular arms. One last look at Tonowari, giving him a respectful bow as you stood up. His hand sliding off your shoulder, grazing the skin of your arm and waist.
He didn’t want you to go. If he could indulge in his greatest desires he’d keep you in his arm right in his marui, not a single soul interrupting the two of your time together. “Yes…you should. Goodbye Y/N.”
His voice was smooth yet rocky. It made no sense, but with an innocent yet yearning wave you exited the marui. Immediately speed walking towards your family’s marui for breakfast.
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While you did have your own marui, you made it habit to go and eat your meals with your family. It was as if you made a heart-warming memory with them every time you sat on your woven mat and laughed with your family.
Walking into your marui your family was staring at you all each a different…an odd look on their faces. “What?” You said confused looking at them, mouth slightly agape as your younger brothers started to let out little chuckles.
“You look like a mess bro!” Lo’ak cackled out, slapping his knee in the process. Neytiri his flicking his shoulder.
“Lo’ak!”
“What?!” He pouted holding his inflicted shoulder, still chuckling every time he looked at you.
Did you look that terrible? Was it obvious you had gone too intense with the drinks? Did Tonowari think you looked terrible. Huh? Do not worry about him! You scolded yourself, refusing to let your shameful thoughts resurface in a time like this
“Sister you look slightly dishevelled that is all.” Kiri said calmly, but even she couldn’t hide the grin creeping onto her face. She tried to cover it up by eating more fruit, but her attempt was pointless.
“Hey! I do not look that bad.” A little stomp as you walked into the room, subconsciously patting down your hair.
“Yeah stop making fun of Y/N…she simply had a fun night” Neteyam giggled, even Lo’ak slapping his arm as they cracked up at the table.
Even Jake couldn’t hide his smile, the way his grown up daughter was now stomping her foot and complaining. It was just like back in the forest. Even Tuk laughed along, not like she understood of what her older siblings were referring to.
“What the- Neteyam!” A gasp left your mouth, what was this skxwang talking about. You were so going to kill him after breakfast.
“Sorry sis!” He snickered holding his hands up innocently. You simply rolled your eyes, and lightly smacked his head as you sat beside him. He gave you a tiny snarl as he continued to eat his food, and so did you. Filling your starving stomach with deliciously cooked breakfast
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It was now late afternoon, the sky slowly darkening, as the calming waves rushed up just onto the tops of your feet. The water cold, but only enough to make you want to delve into the water more.
The scurrying of feet on the sand emerged from your side. Turning to investigate the sound…it was the last person you wanted to see.
Ao’nung.
Expression morphing into one of disgust, as he walked closer to you, you started to immediately get up to race away from him.
“Hey! Don’t go. C’mon Y/N! Let’s talk!” Ao’nung dragged his feet across the sand faster as he jogged up to you.
“No. Go away.” The words were cruel and stern, enough to make him rethink his decision to find and talk to you.
“Y/N! Come here for fuck’s sake! Stop being a brat!” Ao’nung had no right to be so cruel, especially when he was so deeply in the wrong.
Seething you turned swiftly marching towards him to lay a loud slap across his face. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that!” You hissed at him. Hand stinging from the impact.
“Did you just slap me?”
“Do you need another one? You cheating scum.” Ao’nung scoffed as he rested a tight grip on your shoulder. It was nothing like his fathers. No it was harsh and tight, there to inflict pain. Such a strong contrast to the tenderness of Tonowari’s touch.
“Get over it… c’mon Y/N it was just a mistake.” Ao’nung was lying through his teeth. He’d never admit it, but he loved every minute with that girl. Shit, he’d go back for seconds if he didn’t have girlfriend. But he’s a good boyfriend, so he won’t.
“the only mistake was trusting you.” Rage was coursing through your body. How dare he come up to you and speak with you like this as if he had not, disrespected your union and broken apart your heart.
“C’mon Y/N, is this a forest thing? Being such a bitch?” Ao’nung chuckled you, he knew everything to get right and comfortable under your skin. He had his signature smirk on his face, a shit eating grin, begging for another slap.
“Is it a reef thing? To be such a disrespectful, immature, unlovable piece of filth?” Floored. You had floored him with your words.
He had never been hit with such words of disrespect. His mouth hung open, shocked at each syllable that had the nerve to exit your mouth.
“Are you seriously calling me unlovable?” The look in his eye was evil, a glint of pure rage seething through him as his tail lashed and thumped on the ground.
You nodded, trying to not be intimidated by his towering stance.
“You were lucky that I ever gave you a chance. Freak. How could you ever think you were ever worth enough to be worthy to the reef? Even the great mother abandoned you. Nature is not on your side, and nor is love. You are a freak, a demon.”
Your heart shattered. To think he would use such low insults on you. As if you hadn’t spent night crying in his arms about you feeling so out of place, so out of luck. And he had turned your vulnerabilities into daggers back to stab you in the back.
Tears welled up in your eyes. Biting your lip, sucking in the sob that desperately begged to come out.
“did you ever love me?” I ask softly, trying to keep the shakes out of my voice, blinking away the tears.
“Who cares. I don’t now.” And those words were like a slap against your face, lashing you to a harsh reality as you whimpered.
In the long run. You wondered how you ever thought you could be loveable. You weren’t in the forest, and neither were you in the reef. And now as you seethed and tried not to sob. All emotions took over, no logic whatsoever occurring in your mind.
“Your father does.” As soon as it rolled off your tongue you wanted to suck it back in. Shit, Fuck, shit. You should not of uttered a single word.
“what.”
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tell me what you think!! what's going to happen next? reblogs and replies super duper appreciated
tags: @avatarkv@jakesullyfatjuicypeen@cyberfreaky@cinetrix@supercoolusernamesblog@gabrijelasworld @rebeccao03 @sakura-onesan @neteyamsluvts @reinap06 @totesnothere04
everything taglist: @8resa @ilovejakesullysdick @neteyamsblog @live-laugh-neteyam @reyalvr @trashfox @darkacademictrash @scntfrhs @dreamyescapesfromreality @fanboyluvr @neteyamzmate @neteyamyawne @neteyamssbaby
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billybob598 · 7 months
Text
Everything is Going to Be Okay (Sydney Lohmann x Reader)
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Well hello there! Here is the long awaited (not really) part 2 to How Many People. On a completely unrelated note, school is kicking my ass. But whatever. Also, I just want to note that I am NOT a medical professional. I have no idea if what happens in this fic is actually possible or medically correct. Either way, any feedback good or bad is welcomed! Enjoy!
Part 1 here
Word Count: 5K (can we all just pause and acknowledge this? like guys come on now)
1 Year Ago
“She’s stable, for now. We’re going to be monitoring her carefully for the next few days. Again, we’re confident she’ll recover as much as she can.” You can hear a voice coming from above you, but your mind seems hazy, almost like a fog clouding your thoughts. Something wet lands on your exposed wrist, it feels like water but who would pour water on your arm? 
“Okay, thank you, doctor,” a German accent breaks your line of thinking. Wait, you know that voice, Sydney? What was she doing here? What were you doing here? The last thing you remember you were sitting in the middle of the track, about to switch the car off and get out. Now that you think about it, it did sound as if something was getting closer to you. Oh God, had you been hit by another car? Well, that’s not good. A door closed shut, presumably the doctor, leaving just you and Sydney alone. She started to cry, like full-on sobbing. How badly you wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but you couldn’t. Your body was betraying you. Luckily, Sydney slipped her hand into yours and squeezed tightly. “You scared me for a sec, Y/N/N. Wake up, please. Then, everything will be okay, liebe.” Her voice was cracking as she begged you to open your eyes. You couldn’t. You couldn’t reach up and tuck the hair behind her ear, you couldn’t open your mouth and tell her everything was going to be okay. You were useless. Well, you could just try and squeeze her hand. What’s the harm in trying? So, you focused completely on getting your fingers to tighten around hers. Sydney’s head shoots up. The sadness she was previously feeling almost disappeared altogether. “Y/N? Can you hear me?” She gets a squeeze in response, “Oh my God, oh my God.” She clings onto your hand as if it were a lifeline, “I’m going to go get the doctor, okay?” Another squeeze.
9 Months Ago
You had fully woken up four or five hours ago. For a couple of weeks you were just squeezing your girlfriend's hand, today was the day you were finally able to open your eyes. When you woke, Sydney immediately pulled you into a hug, being mindful of your injuries. The nurses did a few checks on you such as checking if you remembered what happened, who you were, and who Sydney was. They were happy to confirm you didn’t suffer any memory loss despite your head trauma. They then left you alone to rest for a couple of hours. Sydney telling you everything that has occurred over the last month. It shook you, how much you had missed and how long you’d been unconscious for. Around six o’clock the doctor came in. He watched the numbers on the machines you were hooked up to, occasionally writing something down on his clipboard. When he was satisfied, he walked to the foot of your bed and carefully removed the bed sheets covering your legs.
“Ms. Y/L/N, I’m not sure if anyone has told you yet, but during your accident, you suffered damage to your spinal cord. I just want to make sure that everything is okay down here,” he explains. He takes out a pen from his pocket and gently pushes it into your foot, “Can you feel this?” You shake your head no. He hums quietly then, he moves it onto your shin, “This?” Nothing. You unknowingly tense, this wasn’t good. He continues to move it further and further up your legs until he gets to just above your hip. Poking it softly he raises his eyebrows to you in question. Finally, you can feel the tip of the pen dig into your skin, 
“Yeah, yeah, I can feel that.” He nods curtly.
“Could you try wiggling your toes for me?” Focusing your entire body on getting just one of your toes to move, you groan when you can’t. The doctor mumbles something to himself. He then asks Sydney if he could talk to her outside. Sydney gets up, squeezing your shoulder as she walks past you. You watch them carefully, trying to see if you can lip-read. Spoiler alert: you can’t. As they walk back into the room, Sydney has a sombre look on her face. When she sees you staring she tries to force a smile, but you already knew what was coming. 
“So, Y/N-”
“I’m paralyzed, right?” Your question catches both of them off guard. They share a look before Sydney turns to you with a sad look in her eyes. That’s all the confirmation you need. The tears start to flow thick and fast. In an instant Sydney is beside you, comforting you in whatever way she can. She whispers sweet nothings into your ear, trying her best to calm you and reassure you.
“I know it seems like the end of the world, meine liebe. But, you’ll come back better than ever. Everything will be okay,” she whispers sweetly as the sobs coming out of your mouth begin to slow.
7 Months Ago
“Seriously, Y/N?” Sydney’s voice sounds incredulous. She harshly spins your wheelchair around, taking you by surprise. When you meet her eyes you're taken aback to see such fury and frustration in them. 
“What? What I’d do?” You ask, not liking the way Sydney looks like she could tear you apart limb by limb.
She scoffs, “Oh please, you know what you did.” It’s when she says those words that you realize what she’s talking about. A frown forms on your face, preparing to defend yourself, but she cuts you off, “Like, seriously, Y/N? What the fuck? You don’t get to say or decide those things.” Her words set you off.
“Oh, I don’t get to make those decisions? Of course, I do! You know who doesn’t get to decide those things? Someone who has no fucking clue what it’s like!” Your voice rises word by word. 
Sydney, however, refuses to give up, “Maybe I don’t get to make the decisions, but I get a say in it. They affect me as well. Not everything in this world revolves around you!” At this point, tears are starting to form in her eyes, your fists are clenched, and the words being said are much harsher than originally intended.
“Whatever. I’m a grown fucking adult and I’ll do what I want.” Any hope either of you had for a civil, calm conversation had been thrown out of the window a while ago. The German’s hands fly to her hair, tugging at it. 
“Really? Cause right now you’re acting like a child. God, you’re so frustrating! I’ve been doing everything I possibly can for you these last three or four months. I understand that you’re frustrated and that you’re heartbroken, but that doesn’t mean you get to shut me out, okay? I’ve tried to show that I’m here if you need someone to talk to, but what do you do? You bottle it up and then it makes you make stupid decisions like telling your therapist to piss off when she asks about Formula 1 and saying that you don’t ever want to see her again!” She releases a deep breath after her mini-ramble. All of her worries and frustrations from the past few months let out. You stare at her in shock and regret. 
With a look of concession you speak quietly, “You’re right, Syd. I shouldn’t have done that, I’ll call her and apologize. I’m sorry, I am, babe.” Blinking, Sydney couldn’t believe it, you had apologized. 
“And?” She prompts.
“And I promise I’ll try to talk to you more about those things,” a smile appears across your girlfriend's face. 
“See? Wasn’t that hard was it?” You roll your eyes, a playful grin etching itself on your face, “Everything will be okay, right?”
“Yeah, everything will be okay.”
6 Months Ago
“Fuck!” Your swear startles Sydney out of an email she was writing.
“Everything okay, schatz?” She asks, peering out of the office. You had moved to Germany so she could help you with your recovery. Your trainer and physiotherapist had both moved as well. That way everyone you needed to help you was right there. Sydney hated to leave you alone, especially in your current state. So, whenever she had to leave for away games or international duty she would get her mom and dad to come over and watch you. No matter how many times you insisted you were fine alone, they stayed however long they needed to and helped you do everything. Dinner? They made it. Shower? Momma Lohmann is helping you. It embarrassed you to no end. To have your girlfriend's parents look after you as if you were a toddler. It was the topic of many arguments with her, she just never understood why you were so stubborn to the offer of help. To be honest, you didn’t know either. There was just something degrading about it. You were once a role model, a trailblazer in motorsport, a standard for those to come. Now, you couldn’t even make it up one flight of stairs by yourself. 
“I spilled my tea. Don’t worry I’ll clean it up,” you call back from the living room.
“No, don’t. It’s okay, you’ve got physio soon. I’ll clean it up when I get back,” your girlfriend walks into the room. You huff slightly and mumble a quiet “okay.”
 Arriving at your physio, Sydney waves you goodbye as one of the desk ladies wheels you through the doors and into the main lobby. Your physiotherapist, Emma, smiles at you and takes over pushing your wheelchair towards the back.
“So, how are you feeling today?” She asks happily.
“Same as two days ago,”
“Woah there grumpy pants. It was just a question,” she jokes. Sighing heavily, you give her a more honest answer,
“Em, come on. It’s been what three months? I’m still nowhere near being able to walk again,” Now it’s her turn to sigh,
“Don’t say that. You are making progress. You may not see it, but I can. And I think you’re closer to walking again than you think.” She ignores your scoff and parks you near a massage bed. After a few warm-up exercises, (What you were warming up you had no idea. You couldn’t feel shit.) you maneuver onto the treadmill. However, on this treadmill, there was a harness with two braces that wrapped around your legs. This forces them to move. Emma helps you put the harness on, she turns the treadmill on, starting at an extremely slow speed. Slowly, she increases the speed little by little. When she feels you’ve had enough she stops it and sits you back in your wheelchair. The two of you continue to plow through exercises, everything seems to be going decent until you try to walk by yourself. You had been left unsupervised for no more than two minutes, but your impatient self decided to try and go get your wheelchair that was situated only six feet away from you. You willed your right leg to move forward and take a step, leaning forward slightly, instead, you toppled over face first having to break your fall with your arms. Emma and others had rushed over when they heard you thump against the floor. She, with the assistance of others, helped you into the wheelchair, the chain of curse words that left your mouth conveying just how pissed you were. What was shaping up to be a rare positive session ended instead with you being inconsolably furious. You weren’t mad at anyone, no, you were mad with yourself. In your mind, you were pathetic. How could you not even take one stupid step? You continued to mentally bash yourself, not realizing that Sydney and Emma had sat you in the car. Now, they stood behind the vehicle, Emma filling your girlfriend in on everything. After bidding your friend and physiotherapist goodbye, Sydney got into the car and started the drive home. When she took a peek at you she could tell how in your head you were. Doing the only thing she could think of, she reached across the centre console and intertwined her hand with yours. Your head snapped in her direction, you were confused but you didn’t move your hand away. Stopping at a red light, Sydney turned her head towards you. She spoke quietly,
“I know you’re frustrated, liebe. I would be too. But you have to try and be patient with yourself. It’s a long road and I’m almost positive that one day you’ll reap the rewards.” You smiled at her words, a genuine smile, something Syndey hadn’t seen in a long time. You brought your interlocked hands towards your mouth and planted a kiss on her hand. “Everything will be okay, okay?”
 5 Months Ago
“Come on Y/N! You got this!” Emma’s words spur you on. In the past month, you had made significant progress and today was the day you were going to try taking a step. So here you were, on your fourth attempt and while you were beginning to lose confidence, Emma was determined not to let you give up. Taking a deep breath, you will your leg forward. To your and Emma’s amazement, you take a step. 
“Holy shit I did it!” You exclaim happily.
“You did it!” Emma screams, bringing you into a tight hug. Before Sydney comes to pick you up you make Emma promise not to tell your girlfriend about your progress, stating that you wanted to surprise her when you can walk more. 
Two weeks later, you texted Sydney asking her to come inside because Emma wanted to show her something. So, as the two of them talk about God knows what, you slowly but surely make your way over to her. Emma looks excitedly over your girlfriend's shoulder, continuing to talk to keep her distracted. When you finally get close enough, you reach out and lay your hand on her shoulder. Sydney turns around, her jaw drops when she sees you standing there, your wheelchair far behind you. 
“Di-Did you…?” She stutters, extending her hand to hold you. You nod with a stupid grin on your face. 
“I did,” you say tears appearing in your eyes. Sydney pulls you into a hug, crying into your neck. 
“I’m so, so proud of you, Y/N,” she mutters, still against your neck. 
“Thank you, love. And thank you for staying with me,” you say before pulling her into a soft kiss. After a few seconds, you pull away. 
“Everything is going to be okay, liebe,” she says into your ear.
3 Months Ago
“You nervous?” You can practically hear the grin on Alex’s face as he speaks up from behind you. His hand lands on your shoulder, bringing a sense of comfort to you. Alex had always been one of your best friends, a friendship that only got stronger when you became teammates. Both of you had done your best to keep in touch throughout your recovery, something that proved difficult. Mostly due to you not wanting anything to do with F1. Some might see it as a terrible coping system, but you saw it as a well-deserved break to mentally reset. Now, after months and months of rehab and hard work, you were finally back where you belonged, in an F1 garage. Williams’ was giving you a test day around Silverstone. On one hand, you were ecstatic to be back, on the other, you and Syndey were scared as hell. While the conditions were perfect, the sun predicted all day with no clouds, and there were no other cars on track, It’s hard to get past those types of things, especially when they hurt you and everyone close to you. One of the main things you were concerned about was Syndey. You weren’t sure if you could, God forbid anything similar happened to you, put her through that again. She was your rock and you had no idea if she could take something as emotionally and physically taxing as that ever again.
“Nah, mate. I’m not nervous at all,” you say sarcastically before moving away from him.
As you walk around the garage you take a good long look at your car. God, your car. Something you hadn’t been able to say in forever. Someone walks up from behind you and snakes their arms around your waist. You lean back into your girlfriend's arms as she leans forward slightly and talks into your ear,
“You’re gonna do great, I just know it.” Turning around so you’re facing her, the bright smile that Syndey and the world love so much tugs at your lips. 
“Yeah I know, I’m more worried about you,” you joke lightly. She feigns offence at your words.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m always as cool as a cucumber when you’re racing.” A laugh escapes from you and you kiss the underside of her jaw sweetly. 
“Y/L/N! We’re ready, wanna get in?” An engineer shouts at you, breaking the two of you out of your trance. You nod, the soft look you had instantly replaced with one of pure determination. Pulling away from your girlfriend, you look at her,
“Everything will be okay, Syd.” She raises her eyebrows but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she presses one last kiss on your forehead and moves to put some headphones on, leaving you alone. Taking a deep breath, you begin to put your earplugs in, then you tuck your hair in as you put your balaclava on. Finally, you slip the custom-designed crash helmet over your head and connect the HANS device to your neck. Approaching your car, a few of the mechanics give you fist bumps and words of encouragement. There are a few cameras located inside and outside of the garage, one of them being the social media manager. You give a thumbs up and wink at her, something that you’re sure will end up all over TikTok and Instagram later, but whatever. You step over the halo, your eyes squint due to the big smile under your helmet. After taking a few breaths in and out, you slide down into the cockpit. Someone helps you with the seatbelts and headrest, they give you a quick thumbs up before retracting their hand from the cockpit. Your engineer gives you the go-ahead to start the engine, and when you switch it on the entire car rumbles to life. It’s a surreal feeling, the way your entire world vibrates with its power. The front jackman signals for you to pull out of the garage. When you press the throttle, everything goes silent. As you pull out of the pit lane and head onto the actual track, the rest of the world falls away, It’s just you and your car. Nothing else in the world matters right now. For the first time in months, you’re doing what you do best, driving at crazy speeds like a madman. When you come across the start/finish line to complete your first lap in an F1 car in over nine months the entire garage breaks out in applause. Sydney can feel the tears flowing down her cheeks, but unlike the last time you were in an F1 car, they were happy tears. The world and your lives were somewhat going back to normal. Finally.
2 Weeks Ago
“Here we are for the 2024 Hungarian Grand Prix! And Martin, the biggest story of the week, Y/N Y/L/N is making her long-awaited return to Formula 1 after her horrific accident last year in Spa,” Crofty’s cheery voice crackles through the TV speakers in your driver room. 
“That’s right, Crofty. She has had to endure one of the most challenging journeys we’ve ever seen. And I think everyone inside of the F1 community is rooting for her this weekend. So far, everything has been smooth sailing for her. She put in a mighty performance in qualifying, only three spots back from her teammate, Alex Albon, who qualified a magnificent P2. And that Williams has looked quite speedy around this track and I’m sure both drivers are hoping to make the podium, at least.” 
“How are you feeling?” Your girlfriend's sweet voice brings you back to reality. 
“Good, yeah great, good,” you say very unconvincingly. She just laughs at you, but before she can say anything in response, a series of loud splats hitting the window makes you both look at it. To both your dismay and worry, the heavens decide to open up there and then. “Shit,” you mutter under your breath. 
“Hey, hey. Don’t worry about that. You’ve been doing so well, a little rain isn’t going to change that,” Sydney takes a seat beside you and cradles your face in her hands. 
“I can’t do it, Syd. I can’t,” You feel yourself start to hyperventilate. Your mind races, thinking about all the bad outcomes, thinking about what happened last time.
“Look at me, liebe. You can do it and you will. I know you, nothing ever stops you and this definitely won’t. You’ve worked so frickin’ hard for this. I’ve watched it, I’ve watched how you never gave up. This is your time. Show them just how amazing you are, schatz. Show them.” Her pep talk has its desired effect, it eases your worries and helps you prepare for the race. 
Walking around the grid, you take it all in. A year of pain and hard work finally paid off. Multiple people come up to you before the race and wish you luck, something you appreciate but don’t care for. As you sit inside the car with your helmet on, everything seems quiet. All weekend everyone wanted to talk to you and they always asked the same questions. At first, you didn’t mind it, just happy to be back. But, after a bit, it got annoying having someone try to follow you every minute. Inside your car, however, it was just you, you couldn’t hear anyone else, everyone just left you alone. 
“Thirty seconds until the green light,” your engineer, Gaetan, spoke through your earpiece. You run through your final preparations before the formation lap was started. When the green light is given, you weave around the track attempting to warm up your tyres while Gaetan confirms the race strategy. Parking in your grid spot, you ready yourself with the clutch. 
“It’s five red lights and away we go for the Hungarian Grand Prix!”
At the end of lap 1, you’re up to P4 after starting fifth. Alex had dropped down to P3, putting you right behind him. A few more laps pass by and you begin to get frustrated behind your teammate,
“Guys, come on. I’m faster than him.” Sydney and Lily watch anxiously from the garage.
“We’ll give it one more lap, Y/N. If he doesn’t improve we will switch the cars,” Gaetan responds. When Alex doesn’t improve the next lap, he lets you by and sets you free. Now, you had clean air and lots of time to make up. Over the next twenty laps, you gradually close the gap between you and the top two, Carlos Sainz and Max Verstappen. When the three of you come in for your pit stops, you were just under two seconds back from them. Alex had pitted a few laps before, trying to pull off the undercut on you guys.
“And what’s this? Oh no, Martin, Sainz has had a slow stop! Oh goodness, the tyres weren’t ready! This might just play into Y/N Y/L/N and Williams’ hands.” After a smooth stop from your guys, you rejoin the track ahead of Sainz and into P2. 
“So we’re P2 and Alex is P3,” your engineer tells you.
“Really? Oh, wow. Good job guys,” your surprised tone makes a few people chuckle. The race progresses and try as you might, you just can’t get close enough to get by Verstappen. By the time the second pit stops comes around you are 1.2 seconds behind him, only getting near enough to attempt one or two overtakes. With less than twenty laps to go, a sense of urgency overcomes you. You start to push a little harder. Eventually, you get DRS on Max, you draw closer and closer on the main straight, but not quite close enough to make a dive bomb. After a few more laps of getting closer but still being too far, on lap sixty-one of seventy you stick close to his gearbox the entire lap. Following close through the corners and gaining the slipstream on the limited straights around the Hungaroring. When the two of you arrive on the main straight you open your rear wing and tuck in behind him for the slipstream. Getting closer and closer, you pull to the inside and draw alongside him. Heading into the first turn, you have the inside line, but leave enough room for him on the outside. He keeps his foot in and stays level with you then, heading into turn two, the sweeping left-hander, you keep your nose in front of him. And you hit the throttle quicker letting you pull in front of him. Verstappen has to concede the position and you take the lead of the Grand Prix. The Williams garage erupts, everyone is losing their shit. For the first time in forever, one of their cars is leading a race. Sydney has the biggest grin on her face, she has no chance of hiding how proud she is. For the last nine laps you defend like your life depends on it. Max throws everything at you, but each time you turn him away skillfully.
“As she rounds the final bend, it’s a fairytale story for Y/N Y/L/N and Williams. Almost a year since one of the worst accidents the F1 community has seen, she returns and in her first race back, 
Y/N Y/L/N WINS THE HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX!”
When you cross the line you put your head in your hands and cry. The darkest time of your life had ended and you had come through, better than ever. 
“Oh my God, mate! You did it! You’ve won a Grand Prix, congratulations!” Gaetan sounds elated over the radio and you can’t blame him. 
“Holy shit, guys. I’m crying, stop. Thank you everyone so, so much for all your hard work and for supporting me throughout everything. I couldn’t ask for a more amazing team, thank you.” Your stifled sobs break up your words, but the words still get out. Stopping in front of the first place sign, you take a moment inside of the cockpit to just calm down. Unbuckling and removing the headrest, you step out of the car and stand on top of it raising your arms in triumph. Everyone cheers for you as you wave at the crowd. You rush to your team and jump into they’re awaiting arms. After celebrating with your team for a few seconds, you look for your girlfriend. She waves to get your attention, you grin and make your way over to her. She pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. Pulling away, she tilts her forehead against your helmet-covered one. 
“Everything’s okay,” she mumbles to you. A stupid smile appears on your face as you reply,
“Yeah, everything is okay, love.”
Present Day
“Liebe? Are you sure you want to do this?” Your girlfriend appears in front of you, a concern clear upon her features. Sighing, your hand runs over the scar on the side of your head, a nervous habit you developed during your recovery. Sydney gently takes your hand and interlocks your fingers with hers. Her heart breaks when she looks into your eyes and finds them glossed over with tears. “You know you don’t have to do this, Tom will understand if you back out,” she tries to reassure you. You shake your head,
“No, no. I want to do this. It’s time.” She looks at you warily before releasing your hand from hers. Tom Clarkson, the host of the F1: Beyond the Grid podcast, had come to you a few weeks ago asking if you would like to come onto the podcast and share your story. You, of course, had said yes, not hesitating much about it, Sydney on the other hand was much more cautious about it. It took you months and months before you were able to express your feelings to her, now you were just supposed to share your insane story to the entire world? She was praying that everything would go smoothly and that you wouldn’t close off after. As you sat down and adjusted the mic on the desk to sit closer to you, Tom quickly ran through some of the topics he was going to question you about. While most of them were touch subjects, you felt comfortable enough to talk about them. Especially with Sydney sitting not too far away. 
“After one of the most terrifying incidents the F1 world has seen in recent memory, she’s completed one of the most outstanding comebacks we’ve ever seen,” Tom introduces you into the podcast and you guys fall into a relaxed conversation for a few minutes. “Now, Y/N, today marks exactly one year since your accident. How are you feeling about that?” You gulp. It was odd to think that it only happened a year ago.
“Um, yeah, definitely crazy. I feel I’ve come so far and had to overcome so many obstacles. I don’t think I would’ve been able to return if not for the many people around me who helped me during my recovery.” 
He nods, “Anyone specifically who made a big difference?”
“My girlfriend. She was and is my rock, looking back at it I realize how much of an asshole I was to her and how much she looked out for me when she didn’t have to,” you explain, a love-struck smile on your face. Tom chuckles at your expression before asking the next question,
“So, was there any mantra or saying that inspired you over the last year?” Your smile gets wider and you nod excitedly. “There was? What was it?” You look over at Sydney before answering.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
240 notes · View notes
itsbeeble · 6 months
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Forever and Always
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Summary: Kim Mingyu promised to love you forever and always. Why does it feel like that is no longer true?
Genre: angst, lovers to ???
Pairing: Kim Mingyu x gn!reader
WC: 1.5k
Series Masterlist
WARNINGS UNDER CUT
Warnings: hurt no comfort, Mingyu is just cruel in this, idk man they're arguing (mostly mingyu though), this relationship is lowkey toxic actually, reader flinches a lot but not bc she's scared of mingyu
Listen to Forever and Always by Taylor Swift for full effect
A/N: hahaha....haha.....ha.... ANYWAY THANK YOU FAWN FOR BETA READING THIS ILY POOKIE
You’re just finishing dinner when Mingyu walks in the door. Your back is turned at first, already prepping his plate, so you don’t see the exhaustion and the frustration weighing on his large frame when he first walks in. You don’t see the tick in his jaw when he lays his eyes on you, see the annoyance when you finish plating his dinner.  
“I thought you’d be home later,” you turn around to face Mingyu, a warm smile on your face when you approach the table next to him. The food you’ve made smells delicious, but Mingyu ignores that. “I’m glad you’re here now, though.  
Forever and always, right? 
“Can I just...” Mingyu exhales heavily. “I’d like to settle in before we eat, please.” You look at him,  still smiling.  
“Of course! I’ll wait for you-” 
“Don’t wait for me.” His voice comes out harsher than he wants it to and you flinch a bit. “I just...just eat.” 
“But I thought... I just thought we could eat together tonight.” Your voice isn’t quite disappointed, but it’s enough for the last of Mingyu’s patience to fly out the door.  
Forever and always.
You don’t know how long the argument has been going on. You don’t know how long Mingyu’s been yelling, how long you’ve been trying to voice your defense. Your face is burning from the humiliation of the whole situation, and your body shaking but not with anger.  
"I already told you that I just want to be left alone,” Mingyu speaks through gritted teeth, standing across the room from you. You can hear the rain pounding outside, and you do your best to use it to calm your mind. You’re backed into the corner of the kitchen, eyes wide and teary although your face is dry. You don’t know if you’re shocked, or if you just can’t bring yourself to cry around the man you’d been in love with for the past six years.  
Six years. 
You’d been together for six years and never have you seen your lover, the man you’d promised to love forever and always, this angry.  
“Mingyu, I just want you to eat something,” your voice is trembling and quiet, and you don’t think he hears you.  
“All you do,” he takes a step closer, grabbing the edge of the counter and keeping himself there. He doesn’t move any closer to you than he already is. “Is fucking nag me. All you do is whine about how long your day was, how long it took to cook dinner, to buy groceries. You never fucking stop to really look at me, do you? You never fucking stop to think about how tired I am at the end of the day, and how maybe I just want to be left alone for once. Do you ever stop to think about how fucking annoying you are?”  
Forever and always 
Forever and always 
Forever and always 
Forever 
Always 
Please stop 
Your hands are shaking, sweating, and you lower your gaze to the floor. You can’t even tell if Mingyu is talking to you anymore. Can’t tell if he’s just yelling at this point, venting, waiting for you to break. 
“All I want is just five fucking minutes of peace, but you can’t even give me that, can you? God, you’re fucking useless.”  
Oh. 
Mingyu doesn’t snap out of it until he hears the front door slam. He doesn’t snap out of it until he sees that you’re gone, your apartment keys still hanging next to the door. It’s oddly quiet now, and he takes a second to breathe. Takes a second to gather his thoughts, and then the full weight of what he just did hits him like a freight train.  
Useless 
Annoying 
Nag
His phone sits in front of him, and he stares at it. The screen is black, and when he turns it on there are no notifications. He has half a mind to call you, to tell you to come back and that he’s sorry. That he doesn’t know why he yelled at you like that, and it isn’t your fault. He wants to call you, to tell you he loves you forever and always.  
The phone remains on the counter, eventually powering off while Mingyu walks to your shared bedroom to lie down. 
Forever and always, he supposed, didn’t always mean forever and always. 
The rain is relentless, pounding against your skin, soaking you to the bone. Your hair clings to your face, to the back of your neck, and to your shirt. It’s almost ironic how similar it is to the night you met Kim Mingyu. 
It had been a Tuesday, you think, during your senior year of college. You’d forgotten your umbrella and were standing just outside the door of the university library. It was cold and wet, and your body was shaking just as it is now. Mingyu had approached you, and at first, you’d tried to ignore the way he stood next to you. He’d been hesitant, unsure of what to say. 
Do you wanna share my umbrella? 
You’d laughed at that. Of course you laughed. 
How are we both gonna fit under there?
He’d flashed you a crooked smile, holding his arm out to link with yours.  
A risk we’ll have to take if we wanna catch the last bus. You’d smiled back at him. 
Promise you won’t take off without me? 
He had hesitated and you’d punched him. He had laughed. God you were so addicted to hearing that laugh. 
I promise. Another smile, and the corners of his eyes lift. Forever and always. Your nose had scrunched at the statement.  
Awfully bold of you to say to someone you just met. 
I’m a bold person.
Tonight, however, there is no umbrella. There is no Mingyu with his awkward, clumsy steps. There is now laughing as the two of you run to the bus stop. No introductions, no joyous exchanges of phone numbers.  
Phone.
You’d forgotten your phone. Patting the pockets of your pants, you huff. Keys too. Did Mingyu know? Was he waiting for you? Did he care? 
You were sitting on a bench at the bus stop. Rain pelts the glass surrounding you, and you let your body curl in on itself. It’s a miracle you haven’t cried. Maybe your body is too cold- too numb to cry.  
What happened to forever and always? 
You keep your head down when you knock on the door of your apartment. You’re soaked to the bone, your body still shaking from the argument and the cold of the rain. You wish you’d remembered to grab your keys, but you weren’t exactly worried about coming back when you’d left your home.  
The lock clicks, and your body jolts. The inside of your apartment is warm, you can feel the heat even from the doorway. You can see Mingyu in front of you, but you keep your gaze on the ground. You can’t bear to look at your lover, not when the mental wounds the argument left on you are still open and bleeding.  
Mingyu sighs, and steps to the side so you can enter your apartment. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. It’s agonizing, the walk through the kitchen where he’d been screaming at you just a few hours ago. It’s agonizing walking into your bedroom, knowing he’s trailing behind you and refusing to say anything.  
“I put your dinner in the fridge.” Mingyu is sitting on your bed, watching you but making no moves to help you. He doesn’t ask where you were or if you’re alright and the longer he stays quiet, the more you begin to hate him.  
Something soft and warm touches your shoulders, and you can’t help but curl into it. A blanket, colored with different shades of red. A blanket you’d made years ago and given to Mingyu as a gift. Your hand goes tight around its edge, drawing it tighter around your body. Mingyu’s hand lingers on your back, hesitant as if he wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say.  
“I’m sleeping in the spare room.” You announce, and Mingyu’s hand drops from your back. 
“You’re not even- we're not even going to talk about this?” You turn your head, your soaked body still shaking from the cold. Or maybe from the fight. Maybe both.  
“What’s there to talk about?” You press, the lack of emotion in your voice startling your lover. “You’ve clearly made up your mind about us. About me.”  
Mingyu gnaws on his lip, and you stand there patiently.  
“You know I didn’t mean that, Y/N.” 
“Do I?” Your head tilts. “I thought I...I thought that you cared about me, Gyu.”  
It’s his turn to flinch. 
“I do. I swear I do.” You don’t respond this time. Your back is turned to him again, and you hear a shuddering breath escape him. “Y/N, please look at me.”  
You don’t.  
Mingyu touches your shoulder.  
You step away. 
His hand drops.  
“We’ll talk tomorrow, Mingyu.”  
“Promise?”  
The door to the guest room shuts, and the apartment is quiet once more. A crack of thunder, a sob muffled behind a hand. 
I’m sorry
~
TAGLIST: @juyeonszn @leejihoonownsmyheart
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sky-fire-forever · 5 months
Note
Responding to your line that you put in the water for izzyxreader asks —
Maybe reader is super tough all the time, and so they and Izzy bond over repressing feelings and everything, and then Izzy goes through his transformation and healing era and the reader feels abandoned because everyone on this crew is touchy-feely and now they’re all alone in putting mind over emotion
But then they find out some really bad news (maybe they lost a loved one or something) and fall apart at the seams, and Izzy is there to pick up the pieces
Idk
[AN: I try to leave it vague as to what the bad news actually is, so I'll leave it to your imagination! This is my first time writing X Reader fic, so I hope it's any good! Also, I am posting this on mobile, so I apologize for any formatting errors]
FALLING APART [IZZY HANDS X GENDER NEUTRAL READER]
Izzy Hands is the only one on the ship who understands you. Or so you thought.
These days, it doesn't seem like anyone understands you at all. Izzy included.
It used to be you and Izzy against the world. The two of you understood what it means to be pirates: It means bottling up the fear and the sadness and the… all of it. It means facing the world with a brave face despite how you might feel inside.
You both understood that. Once.
Izzy seems to have forgotten. He wears his emotions on his face now. He talks about them. He wears the title of Unicorn with pride. Things that Izzy wouldn't have been caught dead doing once upon a time.
It seems so easy for him now. He sits with the crew, smiles with them, congratulates them on a job well done. He belongs with them.
And all you can do is watch.
You're almost envious of his ability to change, to grow. It was less lonely being an outsider when Izzy was on the outside with you. Now, you just have to look in and watch as he builds this fantasy family. You wonder how much it will hurt him when it comes tumbling down.
"You could join us, you know," Izzy tells you one night as the crew huddles together by the light and you stand on your own. "No point in you drinking all alone."
You scoff and wave him off. "I don't do well with people." It's an old excuse, one you've used for years.
Just as he always has, Izzy sees through it. "You don't need to push them away. They're... not what we thought they were."
You narrow your eyes at him. "Just because you've gone soft doesn't mean we all will."
Izzy looks at you with something like sadness in his eyes. "The invitation's open."
But it wasn't an invitation you could accept.
Not until later, when a letter comes for you.
As you read it, your hands begin to shake. Your vision gets blurry as your eyes fill with tears. Before you know it, your entire body is trembling.
"Fuck," you whisper. "Fuck!" You shout it at the sea, crumpling the letter in your fist and hurling it at the ocean.
You can never catch a break, can you? The world loves punishing you no matter what you do. People like you don't get a happy ending.
That's something you've always known. You're a pirate and pirates' lives are full of bloodshed and misery and death. A happy ending has never been in the cards for you. Hell, you never even expected a happy middle.
You've never seen the point in crying over the shitty hand you've been dealt. Expressing emotions changes nothing, fixes nothing. So what's the point?
But in this moment, you can't hold it all in. You fall to your knees as tears hit your cheeks. You sob so hard you can hardly breathe. The world around you becomes a blur as you begin to cry.
Strong hands come to wrap around you. Your first instinct is to fight, to shove away whoever is offering you comfort. But you're just too tired and weak to bother.
"I've got ya. I've got you, love." Izzy's soothing voice washes over you as he pulls you into his lap. "I'm here."
Not long ago, the idea of Izzy Hands gently holding you as you fall apart would have been laughable. But here you sit, curled up against his chest as he rubs circles into your back.
You hiccup, trying desperately to regain some control over your breathing. "H-Hurts," you whimper through the tears. "Fuck, it hurts."
"I know," Izzy says softly. "I know, love. I know it hurts. Just let it all out, yeah?"
He presses a kiss to your temple and you squeeze your eyes shut. Sob after sob wrecks through you and you're powerless to stop it.
There's a reason you keep your emotions to yourself. Crying is painful and it's weakness and it fucking sucks. Why would you choose it if you could lock it all away instead?
But somehow crying in Izzy's arms doesn't feel quite as bad as you feared. It still fucking hurts, but he holds you through it, whispering gentle assurances all the while.
And when you've finally cried yourself out, a part of you feels… lighter. Like a great burden has been lifted from your shoulders and all it took was falling apart.
"Shit. I'm sorry," you mutter as you wipe your eyes on the back of your sleeve.
"Nothing to apologize for," Izzy says. "How are you feelin'?"
You hesitate before answering. "Better," you admit somewhat grumpily.
He smiles like he knows how much it pains you to admit that crying helped. "It's easier to fall apart when someone will help pick up the pieces." He reaches up to cup your cheek, brushing away a few stray tears with his thumb.
You swallow and if you had any tears left to shed, you're certain you'd start crying all over again.
Instead, you just wrap your arms around Izzy and hold him close, burying your face in his neck.
"Thank you," you whisper.
He holds you close like it's easy to do it. Like being there for you isn't the burden you know it must be. "Always, love."
And you believe him.
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lvrsparadise · 7 months
Text
'FOURTH OF JULY' - M.S
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synopsis - This was never supposed to happen. Not today.
| Y/N survives! |
warnings! - Mentions of death, kissing, profanity, italics mean flashbacks! (And are written in Y/N's perspective.) Sad Matt, crying, no in-depth description of how Y/N died, I think that's it.
A/N - I wanted to write something sad, so I'm doing that. Based on 'Fourth of July' by Sufjan Stevens (if that wasn't already obvious). And I apologize to whoever I will make cry.
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Matt's face dropped. His phone dropping from his hand as tears well in his eyes, hitting the floor with a quiet thud. He just saw her. She just left. What went wrong?
He can barely hear Nick talking from the living room. His legs give out and he drops to the floor, one hand on the ground to steady himself as the other flies over his mouth to muffle his quiet sobs.
Immediately, he can feel Nick rushing to him.
His head is buzzing, his entire body cold but so hot at the same time.
----
I groan at the sight of rain outside the little gas station I'm in.
I was here for a hot dog and midnight snacks. Not to get drenched by rain. I push open the glass door and make a run for the awning covering the gas pumps. I get wet, but not soaked. Thankfully.
There're only two cars under the awning. One car pulls off and probably heads home to escape the cold rain. The other is just sitting at the pump. It's a van. A van I've seen since high school. I know who it is, but it's unlikely he knows who I am.
I sit down at the foot of one of the pumps and open a pack of gummies I got. Something to do while waiting for the rain to stop.
Unexpectedly, I hear the boy in the van call out to me.
"Hey! Need a ride?"
I turn my head in his direction to be met with a face I've grown up seeing, but never knew. I grab my plastic bag of snacks and walk over to the van, stopping in front of the driver's side door.
"You sure? I don't want to intrude or anything."
"Nah. It's fine. Get in." He jerks his chin to the passenger door, silently telling me to get in even though he already said it.
I smile gratefully as I get settled in the passenger side, now cold from the AC pumping and from getting wet running from the gas station to the gas pumps.
"Cold?"
I shake my head with a small smile.
"Not at all." An obvious lie. My teeth are clattering together and I'm shivering while rubbing my arms to create friction.
He doesn't say anything else, just turns the heat on and rolls up his window and drives off.
"What's your name?"
For some reason, that question kind of hurt. I mean, we've been in all the same classes and practically grew up together. Just without actually knowing each other.
"Y/N."
----
Matt stood up abruptly and grabbed his keys, bolting to his car. Determined to get to the hospital.
He starts the car in record time, not even bothering to put his seatbelt on.
He drives as quick as he can to the hospital. Maybe he can make it. Maybe he can see her one last time. Tell her he loves her one last time.
He's not even worrying about the speed limit. He's driving faster than he should. But all in good reason. His girlfriend is in the hospital. And they're not sure if she's going to make it.
He made it there fast, and bolted to the receptionist, demanding to know which room she was in. Tears flowing down his cheeks, his eyes red, his voice strained.
"Sir, please slow down. What are you asking?"
He takes a deep breath so he can speak clearly instead of just mumbling and rambling.
"Y/N L/N. What room is she in?"
The receptionist clicks away on her keyboard looking the name up and getting results. Her face full of sorrow and sadness for the news she has to share with the man in front of her.
"Sir, I'm so sorry for your loss."
Those were the words that broke Matt's heart. Almost beyond repair.
"What room?" His voce quiet and hurt.
The receptionist point to a room down the hall. "107."
Matt nodded his head and sped walked to the room, as fast as he could without printing.
He pushes the door open to see her. The love of his life in the bed, motionless. Her face almost peaceful but stained with tears.
He broke into sobs, not being able to hold it together anymore. It was too much. He shook his head slowly as he approached her lifeless body, her eyes closed and mouth slightly agape.
He grabbed her hand and pressed her knuckles to his lips, saying 'I love you' over and over again.
----
I was sitting in Matt's room, waiting for him to get home.
I took a few deep breaths to prepare myself for what I'm about to do. Thanks to Chris, Nate, Madi, and Nick hyping me up, I had finally worked up the courage to tell Matt how I feel.
It's been a year since we officially met. And in that year, I found my closest friends, my found family, and what I think is the love of my life.
I was biting on my nails, sitting at the foot of his bed, when I heard the door open. I immediately stood up and wiped my suddenly clammy palms on my pants.
"Oh, hey. I didn't know you were coming over." He smiles and moves to hug me, which I politely decline.
"I know. I need to talk to you." I nervous and I'm scared he can sense that. He just nods and sits down on the foot of the bed, me following suit.
"What is it?"
I feel like I'm going to chicken out. I don't think I can say it. But I do.
"I like you Matt. I like you so much and I have for about 5 months." I search his eyes for an answer, hoping it's not rejection.
He looks at me dead in the eyes and smiles. The same smile that I love. That I want burned in my memory if I were to ever forget him. One that I will appreciate forever. And a day I don't, is a day I'm dead.
"I'm so glad you said that."
"Why?"
"Because now, I can do this."
He puts one of his hands on my cheek, leaning towards me.
Butterflies erupt in my chest and my heart is pounding. I look into his eyes and lean in as well.
The kiss is quick, but sweet and soft. It's everything and more. I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about someone.
He pulls back and looks into my eyes with a smile.
"What do you say I take you to that restaurant you like tonight?"
I smile back at him and nod my head.
"That sounds amazing."
----
One year. She had to die on their one year anniversary?
The doctor had walked in the room, clipboard in hand and two nurses in tow.
Matt snapped his head to the door, his eyes red and puffy from crying.
The doctor clears hos throat before speaking.
"May I ask who you are and you relation to Miss L/N?"
"I- I'm Matt. I'm her boyfriend." He looks down to her face and reaches in his jean pocket to grab the item he cherished since he bought it.
A ring. He was going to propose that night.
The doctor nods and walks over to the bed and starts unhooking wires and tubes from Y/N's body, as they were now no longer needed.
"What would you like to inform her family?"
"She um- she doesn't have any immediate family." He shakes his head and looks at the doctor.
"Is there anyone else we should inform?"
"Yeah but, I can call them."
The doctor nods. "Take as much time as you need."
Matt nods and never tears his gaze away from Y/N's lifeless body as the doctor walks out.
He sits in the chair next to the bed and pulls out his phone, unlocking it and opening his contacts.
He dials Nick's number, knowing Chris wasn't too far from Nick.
"Hey everything alright? You looked distraught when you left the house."
"She's dead Nick." His voice quiet and hoarse.
"What? Who? Matt? No. No, no. No. That can't be."
More tears make their way down Matt's cheeks.
Nick himself has tears rolling down his face at the realization of who had died. He looks at Chris, who was sitting on the chase of the couch, in horror.
Chris is confused, he didn't hear anything.
"We'll be there in a few minutes."
The line goes dead and Matt sinks in the chair and buries his face in his hands.
Nick on the other hand, is trying to break the news to Chris. While also attempting to get an uber. Chris is still confused as to why Nick is crying. Nick can't bring himself to say it, so he tells Chris to just wait till the uber gets there.
----
After the long process of airport security, we're officially waiting for our plane.
This is not the first time we've flown back to Boston, but this time me and Matt are a thing. And we plan on telling his parents once we're there.
After about an hour or two of waiting, our plane is called for boarding. We get up and go through the process of getting on and situated. I seated next to the window with Matt next to me, Chris next to him, and Nick in front of us.
-
We land in Boston and quickly make our way off the plane and to the baggage claim.
We finally get our bags and head for the entrance, where Marylou should be waiting. Sure enough, as soon as we walk out, there she is. Or well, the van.
We make back to their house in silence, other than Nick and Marylou conversing in the front.
We all separate to our rooms to put our stuff away. But knowing Chris, he's probably just going to go to sleep.
I open Matt's door and flop down on the bed, earning a chuckle from him in the process.
I kick my shoes off and curl up in the blankets, opening my eyes to look at him standing with his hands on his hips with a smile, looking like a kindergarten teacher or something.
"What? I'm tired."
"You sound like Chris."
I stick my tongue out to him with a smile on my face as I feel the bed sink.
----
About two months have passed since Y/N passed. Turns out, some guy crashed into her while she was driving back to her apartment. He was very drunk and was charged with a DUI and on account of murder. Because technically, he killed her.
Matt Nick and Chris haven't posted a video since her death. They were not the same. It wasn't the same without her.
Today was the funeral. Marylou, Jimmy, and Nate flew to LA for it.
Matt's currently sitting on the foot of his bed, dressed in his suit, looking at the ring he was going to propose with.
A soft knock at his door signals that Nick, Chris, and his parents were ready to go.
Nate was staying with Laura which meant he was probably already there. He took a deep breath before getting up and pocketing his phone and the ring before walking out of his room.
They all pile out of the house and into the car. Jimmy is driving there because quite frankly, if Matt were to get behind the wheel, things would go to shit, quickly.
They make it to the church they were holding the funeral at and walk up the steps. The benches are full of friends, and people who knew Y/N. Seeing most of these people's faces made Matt even more sad.
-
The ceremony went pretty easily, with a lot of tears from everyone.
Now is when people put stuff in her coffin and say their last goodbyes. Matt was the last person to do so, per his request.
There's flowers and little items in the coffin, all things Y/N loved. Matt looked at his girlfriend's face, expressionless and unmoving. He grabs the ring from his pocket and grabs her left hand and slides it on her ring finger.
"I love you." He whispered. He pulls a book from his jacket, her favorite book, one she read so many times she didn't even need to read it to know the story anymore, and placed it under her hands.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks to whoever it is, Sab, Y/N's best friend.
Sab just looks at her best friend's lifeless body and squeezes Matt's shoulder before hugging him.
Everyone knew what Matt was planning to do. It was supposed to be a perfect moment. But apparently the universe had different plans. He was heartbroken, sad, hurt, lost, and falling apart. He needed her more than he thought he did. Everyone did.
Everyone has left except for Matt, his brothers and parents.
"Matt, honey, we have to go. I know this is hard, but we have to go."
Matt doesn't want to go. He wants to stay with his girlfriend. He doesn't want to leave her side. Just like she never left his.
"I love you." He whispers one last time, looking at the ring he placed on her finger, before turning away and walking off.
----
I stand up from my spot on the couch and stretch.
I check the time on my phone and it's almost 3, me and Matt decided to go to dinner at 7.
"I should head home to get ready." I walk to the kitchen where Matt is sitting at the table and give him a kiss before walking to the front door and putting my shoes one. I yell out a 'bye love out' before walking out the door and to my car.
I was at a red light, one of the only cars on the road. I hear tires screeching from my left, and suddenly an old car is driving full speed. Right at me.
Next thing I know, I'm being tossed around and I'm pretty sure my car is rolling. Then everything goes black.
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Tags ! ✮
@dwntwn-strnlo ✮ @ssturniolo ✮ @strniolo ✮ @20nugs ✮ @prettysturniolo ✮
If you want to be added to the list all you have to do is ask ! ✮
I hope everyone has a wonderful day and / or night ✮
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moodymisty · 3 months
Note
Hello, Mortarion simp club member #7 here. First off, sorry for the fungus.
Secondly, imagine word getting to The Emperor that Mortarion had found a partner. None of the primarchs ever got married (except for Fulgrim) so I’d imagine it’d be big news. To find out that any of his sons, let alone shit-bag himself, found someone to love would shake him to his core.
Now, I am a very small woman so it might just be projecting, but just imagining The Emperor of Mankind staring you down and shaking his head like,
“This is inhumane. It’s almost comical, how absurd this is. How have you not been ripped in half, or accidentally crushed underfoot?”
I know deep in my soul that Morty would be the most gentle of the primarchs because he’s never had anyone be gentle with him before. That man would start sobbing immediately if he so much as accidentally bumped into you. Full on ‘please don’t leave me’ breakdown if he hurts you in any way.
The fungus is amungus.
Honestly given the way that the Emperor thinks of Mortarion as sort of a failure among his 'sons', and has just abandoned any possibility of him achieving greatness, him accomplishing something so 'odd' would definitely get a query or two. This behavior sounds more like Sanguinius or Fulgrim, not Mortarion.
Also the Emperor saying that it's 'inhumane' fucking killed me. I don't know why him saying that in response to one of the Primarchs picking up a lover is so fucking funny but also kind of accurate? I mean, pulling a normal human into what is basically a small pantheon of demigods isn't exactly a good idea. Not to mention the dangers involved that you could go on about for hours. Both being around and with a Primarch. It's less that The Emperor would ever care about a singular human, but he more so just finds the absurdity of it, amusing. Or as amusing as someone like him can.
I definitely think out of all the (future) heretic Primarchs, Mortarion, Fulgrim, Magnus, and Lorgar would probably both be the most gentle. He's also horrifically damaged (which Primarch isn't lmao) and has a slew of self image issues. He might not cry, but he'll sure as hell give you the stars as long as you don't drop to the wayside like everyone else in his life. You're the figurative jewel of his eye, and nothing will take you away from him.
He loves you, you love him, it's awful and harmful and will probably end terribly but damn does it taste good.
Also, a snippet to go with this. Enjoy.
Mortarion/Fem!Reader, No extreme warnings apart from typical 40kness and hinting at a toxic, obsessive relationship. I'm actually really coming around to liking Morty, if I never get a chance I really want to write some of my personal ideas for him
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That meeting still lingers on your mind. You look out the window and wring your hands, trying to figure out why your heart continues to pound so hard against your chest. When it doesn't stop, you sit down and fail to try and stop your mind from running it through once again.
You met The Emperor.
You met the father- or simply creator as some of the Primarchs refer to him- to the Primarch you could possibly call your beloved.
It had been a surprise meeting; You were already so worn and tired from speaking to Primarch Fulgrim, shoulders tense and mind strained. While you might be close to Mortarion, being in the presence of Primarchs is still such an intense and formal ordeal, that forces you to carefully watch your words, your tone, your body language.
Just as The Phoenician seemed to be getting bored of you, as you kept politely avoiding giving him any worthwhile and intimate details about Mortarion, The Emperor had apparently come to see the lover of his fourteenth son; The first of them to ever take someone that could be potentially called a consort. It has been the rumor of the palace for days now, and it's seems to have spread now even to the Golden Throne.
He only ever spoke one sentence to you. And it will likely remain the only one. You would delude yourself into thinking that you have any business with The Emperor, beyond what little falls from Mortarion's lips. Either way, his words and voice with stay within your mind for as long as you live.
He looked down on you, barely able to reach his hips, and almost seemed to sigh. As much as a man such as him could. When you dared look at him, seeing any emotion on a man so borderline ethereal seemed so out of place. Though it was only there for a moment, and then his expression turned to that non-emotion of cold stoicism.
"I should not be surprised, to see he chose someone so small they cannot think to stand against him."
You decided to keep your head respectfully bowed in his presence, but you can't help but furrow your brow ever the slightest at his cryptic speech.
"You fraternize with the most fractured of all my sons. Do be careful with him."
Did he mean to be careful around him? Or to be careful with him? How could someone that in the grandness of things, as insignificant as you, be able to do either?
You pull yourself from being lost in your own thoughts and look out over the palace skyline, seeing nothing but golden peaks as far as the eye can see. It's inconceivable in size, that just viewing it doesn't give even the slightest hint as to it's sheer scale. And from what little you've heard, it's not even close to it's completion. New Praetorian Rogal Dorn has been continuing it's construction for years now, and will likely continue for decades more.
The soft sound of a door opening forces you to look towards it. Mortarion enters, and instantly comes closer. You haven't seen him since you had first encountered Fulgrim. You assume he had more urgent matters than batting away his fellow Primarchs away from the new thing of interest.
Your face softens as he comes closer, seeing his shoulders rolled forward slightly. The way he looks is a dead giveaway that he is in a terrible mood; Not uncommon whenever his so called brothers are involved. You assume that he is going to want a moment alone, and get up to take your leave. You'd heard nothing but his lamenting about hating the idea of returning to Terra for days now, but it seems you're wrong.
Before you have a chance to step away and leave the massive room that serves as the most private of his chambers, Mortarion quickly snatches your arm at the wrist. Though given the size of his hand in comparison to yours, his hand grasps a significant portion of your forearm.
"Do not leave."
You look at him, the way his grey hair shadows his thin face, and how he seems even more drained of energy. He towers over you, but yet he seems almost ungainly and defeated.
The Pale King orders you, but his words are almost dipped in something you might consider calling desperation.
He has told you before that interacting with his fellow Primarchs and The Emperor foremost is something he hates most. That it all reminds him of stolen revenge and his dead world, how he's overcast by the shadows of men like Sanguinius and Horus. You knew he would be more fragile, harder to deal with, but you didn't expect him to seem almost, humiliated. You're used to him being impossible to contend with, spiteful, hateful, angry; Not this.
His hand grips tighter when you don't immediately come back, enough that it begins to hurt. You sit back down and he lets go, only to cup his hand tightly around your jaw. He tilts your head up to look at him. It hurts your neck a bit from the intense angle, and your much smaller hands grip his wrist to try and gain leverage.
You watch his eyes glance over your face, his own slum and demoralized. His grip on your face softens just a bit so he isn't yanking you around like some sort of doll. At least not as much.
He sighs, and leans down enough so that his forehead touches yours, long strands of limp grey hair brushing against your face, and nothing more is said.
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femme4ngel · 11 months
Note
can i req some jude angst, maybe jude x bestfriend! reader who’s crying to him cuz her bf cheated on her and she walked in on it (jude already hated this guy- and all the guys before) and maybe jude gets a mad- a little yelling at her because a) that guy was obviously going to cheat- he was an asshole and y/n is blind, and b) he just doesn’t understand why she’s practically doing this to herself when he’s been right there the entire time- all of this leading to an aggressive confession and maybe a tearful kiss, or even further 😗 thank youuu!! i love ur writing 🫶🏻🫶🏻
𐐪♡𐑂 jude bellingham x fem reader
𐐪♡𐑂 angsty but everything turns out okay 💕
it happened again.your heart was broken into pieces. all you saw when you closed your eyes was him and her. your boyfriend and the girl he told you “ not to worry about”. it happened on your one year anniversary of all dates too. you decided to surprise your boyfriend by baking him a cake and taking it over to his apartment, fantasizing about a romantic dinner and an intimate night in. all of this to find him entangled with another girl on his bed. you ran out of the apartment, after smashing the cake on the bedroom floor, ignoring your boyfriend yelling after you. after finding yourself on the dark street alone and heartbroken you could only think of one person to call. your best friend jude. you called him and he not only comforted you through the phone but also came to get you in his car, picking you up and taking you to back to his apartment. it was clear that you didn’t wanna go back to your place, the house filled with pictures of you and your boyfriend, the memories of the two of you suffocating the rooms. and it has been always like this, judes was your safe place, the place you went to when you felt lost or heartbroken. he would make you food or a cup of hot cocoa, and the two of you would sit on the couch for hours and hours, talking and talking. being with jude made your heart feel at peace, any anxieties vanished from his presence.
so there you were in his car, sitting in the front in complete stillness. you could feel the tension, the way jude was grabbing the wheel, the angry frown on his face. the entire 20 minutes to his house was spent in an utter silence, sometimes interrupted by your sniffles or judes angry huffing puffing. you had no idea what his problem was but frankly you had no energy to ask and get into another argument of the night. and anyways you were sure the minute you arrived to his house it would erupt, jude couldn’t keep thing’s inside for a long time. oh you were so right. the minute you stepped over the sill of his room, he started speaking. his words came out loudly, slurred, filled with anger and so much tension you felt like the room will blow up.
“ you know y/n, i would say im surprised but im really not. he’s been doing this to you ever since you got together. hes a piece of shit y/n! you know i always hated him, but you just kept going back to him. i.. i.. don’t even understand why. when i was here for you all along.. i listened to you and i.. was here you know. and i still am.” - his voice was at first angry and full or repressed feelings, yelling about how your boyfriend was a horrible person but towards the end he quieted down, the confession rolling from his tongue in a sweet shy way.
you didn’t know where to look, what to do. he was standing in front of you, and as corny as it sounds, he was there for you. you were slightly shaking, the thoughts running, racing through your mind. you felt your cheeks blush, your whole body on fire from the adrenaline. how could you answer him? nothing felt enough, no words could express how grateful you felt for him, how your heart broke hearing his confession. you couldn’t let him stand there anymore, his eyes full of sadness and desperation. you reached for him, standing on your tippy toes, your hands cupping his face as you lips pressed against his. he tasted sweet, his lips soft and welcoming. it was such a different feeling than kissing your boyfriend, this kiss left you speechless. his hands around your waist, his tongue overtaking yours, the small sounds he made, the whimpering and heat that filled the room. there was so much emotion between the two of you, neither of you could express by words but as you thumbled around, holding each-other, kissing hungrily, heading towards his bed, all the emotions seemed to flow and get in order.
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in-memoriam-tgwk · 3 months
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Amberfuzz is not the type of cat to cry. Or smile. Or… Well, any sort of emoting, really. She’s been this way since kithood; when her father stood shaking over the frozen frail body of her littermate, she sat by his side and observed his grief in silence. Catching her first prey only brought a calm reverence over her face as she quietly thanked her teacher for her exuberant praise. When Glowstar appointed her as his second-in-command, she was truly honored to be considered! But she didn’t jump around like an excitable fawn. It’s simply isn’t her nature.
Meeting Shinefreckle was like getting caught in a flash rainstorm. It left Amberfuzz befuddled and uncomfortable, and soaked to the bone. It made her irritable and snappy, and wishing for better days.
But it was also eye-opening for Amberfuzz. The older molly was everything she isn’t. Shinefreckle was bubbly, and naive, and she felt everything at an eleven. She’d squeal at the sight of lady bugs, she’d weep during the sad tales Heatherdash would regail over the evening meal, she’d loudly berate the apprentices for grabbing moss littered with pine needles. She was a whirlwind of sunlight and storms and she could grab attention without having to lift a paw.
Amberfuzz hated her for it, just as much as she envied her for it.
She never expected to get close to Shinefreckle, but it wasn’t long before they were sharing meals and sharing tongues on the regular. Shinefreckle was good at conversation in ways that Amberfuzz lacked; she could chitter on about the littlest things, investing in mostly one-sided conversations and pausing every so often for Amberfuzz to offer commentary. When Amberfuzz’s turn came to speak, she’d sit and listen with full attention, nodding when needed, gasping and smiling and giggling like anything she said was the single best thing Shinefreckle had heard all day.
She’d never admit it, but Amberfuzz preened under the attention. She’d even started smiling more, much to the confusion of the other Colony cats.
Losing Cliffclaw destroyed Shinefreckle, in more ways than could be seen. Eating was no longer a priority. She grew thin and unsteady as her frame became more bone than muscle. She couldn’t leave camp without an escort, and she rarely left at all at that point. When bathing took too much energy, her fur grew matted and dirty. Eventually Amberfuzz set about doing it all for her; she’d force her to nibble on her prey, she’d take her on small walks along the cliffs, she’d pick the tangled twigs from her fur. Despite her best efforts, however, Shinefreckle looked worse and worse as the days rolled on.
And then, Shinefreckle developed a cough. It was manageable at first, but despite a moon of treatment she just couldn’t seem to get better. She eventually had to be carried to the medicine den.
Amberfuzz doesn’t cry, but her eyes stung as her ears tuned into the rasp of her friend’s breathing, the only sound in a dusty room. Her own air hitched in her lungs— and what a foreign feeling to her— as the stench of sickness flooded her senses. Her nose burned as she tucked her face into Shinefreckle’s neck, pressing close enough to feel her heartbeat lightly tap in a withered rhythm.
She doesn’t cry. She never cries. She will not cry—
“Fuzzy…?”
Shinefreckle’s voice rattled where it caught on her cough, her head raising just enough for Amberfuzz to see her tired eyes. They crinkled at the corners from a weak smile.
“I’m here, Shinefreckle. You’re in the medicine den.”
Shinefreckle’s gaze flitted about before coming back to rest on the other. “It seems I am,” she croaks.
“Don’t move too much,” Amberfuzz said, and pressed a paw to her flank. “Heatherdash says you’re very sick. You need to rest, to get your strength up.”
She expected Shinefreckle to scoff, or to whine, or to make a fuss like she usually would. Instead, the molly’s eyes drifted to the side, like her thoughts were leading her somewhere else entirely. It took quite some time for her to float back.
“I’m tired, Fuzzy. I don’t want to fight anymore.”
Amberfuzz frowned at her. “Don’t say that. You’ll see, you just need a few days of proper rest. You’ll be well in no time—“
Shinefreckle shook her head, and her body shuddered through a series of coughs. “N-No. I won’t be.”
“Shinefreckle.”
“But it’s okay,” Shinefreckle said, and bumped her head gently against Amberfuzz’s temple. “It’s alright, Fuzzy. Just sit with me a moment. Can we please sit together?”
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She smiled a soft smile, the kind that a mother would use to ease her wailing kit. It filled Amberfuzz with a sadness she couldn’t describe, one that she could only feel her way through, hanging heavy and wet in her chest. She flexed her jaw, scowling through the tears that dampened her cheeks. “Okay,” she said with a tremble in her voice. “Okay.”
She held Shinefreckle until her rattling chest finally stilled, until her eyes fluttered shut, until the first streaks of dawn tickled at the medicine den’s entrance. She held her on her final descent down the cliff, refusing anyone who offered to help carry the load. She only let go when it was time to lay Shinefreckle on her bed of rosemary, right next to Cliffclaw’s grave. Only then did Amberfuzz let go.
Amberfuzz doesn’t cry. But the buzz of a lady bug’s wing is sure to stop her in her tracks. She talks more to the rest of the Colony, and even shares stories of her own in the evening time. And if you’re lucky, on the right kind of day, her stone face will crack at its edges in a smile.
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kai-anderson-whore · 10 months
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You're going to be the best mom (kai Anderson x fem reader)
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Request by: @the-goblin1
Request: Reader is pregnant when kai is stabbing watermelons and reader is scared runs and cries but kai reassure her she will be the best other.
Warning: reader finds out she's pregnant, kai planning to kill pregnant woman, reader being frightened, crying, angst, kai being caring
Taglist: @spill-the-t @iluwmycats @lili-tate @evanpeterswifeyy868 @jademunson @evanpetersfansblog @howtobesasha @lustforeverrrr @fand0mh03
•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°
You sat in the bathroom your hands shaking as the plastic stick trembles in your hands 'oh god what am I going to do?' You thought eyes stuck on the test the two lines blunging at you, you were pregnant with kai's baby.
He didn't plan this, he didn't want a kid as far as your aware, the cult was in full swing and you were his right hand woman his partner in all this you couldn't afford for a kid right now, you put the test aside wiping the tears away with a sigh trying to compose yourself as you left the room the test now tucked away in your hoodie stepping down the steps into the basement to check on kai.
You didn't know what to say or do as you walked futher down the steps, all the what if's ran through your head you knew it wasn't a good idea to bring a child into kai's world but you wanted this baby just you didn't know if kai did too.
Only to unmask the horror of what you were exactly fearing, kai and the other cult members holding a knifes and a watermelon infront of them, "not to eliminate the child stab upwards making sure you get the baby in the mothers stomach" kai demonstrated you were in fear kai looked up spotting you stood there mouth hung open the fear absolutely visible in your eyes at the horror infront of you.
You ran upstairs as fast as your legs could take you into the kitchen what you didn't know kai chased after you. Sitting by the oven hurrled up in a ball your body shaking in horror the tears steaming down your face. You felt a hand on your shoulder making you flinch your head snapped up to see kai kneeling infront of you.
"What's wrong?" He asked his hand that wasn't on your shoulder ran through his short buzz cut head, "what were you guys doing down there?" You whimperd scared to say anything about being pregnant, "it's city council and cult stuff don't worry you're safe no one will touch you" kai reassured "but kai your going to kill unborn babies what if its your own" you cried out the tears still streaming down your rosey cheeks.
Kai had a confused look on his face but wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb, "what do you mean" he asked so confused "I'm pregnant kai" you yelled hiding your face from him scared to look your partner in the eyes.
"Pregnant?" He whispered to himself the outside showed nothing but inside kai felt his heart skip a beat, "I'm not getting rid of it and if you even plan of harming this baby I swear to god kai-" "I want it too" kai said a smile broke out on his lips there was real emotion in his eyes not hatred or anger it was happiness and joy something you haven't saw in a long time.
"You do?" You asked shocked kai took your hands in his stoking the back of your hand, "I do I can't believe I'm going to be a daddy you just made me the happiest man alive y/n" kai whispered a single tear rolled down his cheek he never felt so much love than that moment he'll have a child of his own to love unconditionally.
You stood up from the ground kai watched you still on the floor as you pulled out the pregnancy test handing it to kai, "here I took it today I was just so scared to tell you incase you hated me" you said kai took the test seeing you were indeed pregnant.
That set off all the tears in kai's eyes he hugged your waist placing a kiss on your non existent bump, "I love you so so much y/n and I'm proud to call you the mother of my baby you'll be the best mother this baby can ask for" kai whispered you held his head stroking his cheek as the more tears you both weaped fell to the ground.
"I love you kai" you sobbed kai stood up from the ground kissing you, "I mean it y/n this baby will have the best mother in the world and I'll be a better person for them I just love you so much" he softly spoke making you smile.
"I was just scared to say to you incase you got mad at me" you admitted swallowing the lump in your throat kai took your face in his hands, his forehead resting on yours, "I don't want you to ever think I'd be mad that your making me a father I love you more than you'll ever know your all the family I have left you and our unborn baby just you two" kai whispered placing his lips back on yours.
"Come on let's get you to bed" kai said taking your hand, "what about the meeting kai I don't want to keep them waiting" you said knowing the rest of the cult were waiting on their leader to return, "let them right now you are more important that anyone down there" he stated taking you to your shared bedroom.
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tiffanyeatsyou · 6 months
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FORGOTTEN.
husband!nanami x wife!reader wc:1.3K contains: angst w/ nanami, afab!reader (she/her prns used), bit of fluff @ the end, slight mentions of drinking a/n: this is my first fic so im sorry if its a bit... ass...... ya... LOL ermmm hope u enjoy <3
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nanamii<3:
8:30. drinks, snacks, movie. You + me?
y/n:
is that even a question?? ofc baby :)
y/n:
dont be late, ill be waitinggggg
nanamii<3:
I wont be, I promise.
i set two glasses down on the coffee table, with the best wine set alongside them, a bowl of popcorn, and some candies i went and got earlier. everything looks perfect. oh- and lets not forget, our favorite movie, La La Land. he should be here any second now so i sit, waiting patiently, trying to contain my excitement.
8:45, phew, trafic must be bad. ill just shoot him a little text
y/n:
“hey sweetie, everything alright? miss u!!! got our movie ready for us!!!”
9:00, a sinking feeling settled in. maybe he's just running late, I thought, trying to hold on to hope.
the minutes dragged on, 9:30. 10:00
10:50.
i’m tired. i walk up to our room with trembling legs and my- already bad vision- is clouded teary, blurry eyes. half from the wine i’ve guzzled down, the other half from crying.
he promised. promised. he said he wouldn't be late and here i am, left with dissapointment. i crawl into my side of the bed sobbing, until sleep, finally overcomes me.
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meanwhile, nanami is rushing and rushing to get out and into his car, speeding to his wonderful wife.
"shit. shit shit shit" he mumbles looking at his watch which reads 11:30. "i got carried away with my work god she’s gonna be so disappointed. i promised i’d be home early today for our long-awaited date. drinks, extremely unhealthy snacks,but most importantly, her: the perfect time."
i race to the door and quickly unlock it. “sweetheart?” i call out. i walk in to see a wine glass spilled on our coffee table, her phone, and a black tv screen.
fuck.
shes been drinking.
i run my fingers through my hair, guilt just running through my veins. i loosen my tie and walk up to our shared bedroom, finding my beautiful wife curled up into our blankets.
“sweetheart, i am so so sorry-“
i pause as i notice the pillow stained with tears and her beautiful face, looking like she’s been crying. which makes me wanna cry. i look over at our clock. 3 hours. i hate to wake her but i need to see my baby.
“baby..?” i gently shake her awake and i hear her voice. breaking. i wrap my arms around her body.
“‘min..?” she says with sleep coating her words.
“yes sweetheart it’s me. look, i’m so sorry i just got caught up with-“
“just *hic* save it. don’t ’wanna hear it anymore nanami.”
she uses my full name.
“ baby please please i’m so so s-“
“‘said stop it. hic ‘don’t love me *hic* ‘don’t care about me. just get off me and *hic* stop.”
my heart drops. don’t care about her? how could she ever think something like that?
“ love you know i care about you okay? you’re just a bit tipsy and-“
“‘s always my fault isn’t it? *hic* how could i know you care when *hic* all you do is work work work.”
“don’t wanna be your *hic* wife anymore.”
what?
she doesn't.. what?
“stop it, don’t you dare say that” i respond with not only a breaking voice; but a breaking heart. she doesn’t mean it she’s just- tired. right? i mean, how could she?
right?
“tell me you don’t mean that doll, tell me now. baby please. please.” i say while peppering wet kisses on her damp cheeks. my voice is breaking and you could hear me on the verge of tears.
she doesn’t respond. why isn’t she talking. does she mean it? this is all my fault. i’ve been prioritizing work while my real priority has been slipping away from me?
i look over and she’s asleep. her beautiful eyes are closed and she’s breathing softly. i quickly get undressed and slide into bed with her.
there’s no way i can leave my baby alone in bed.
i wrap my arms around her, only for her to turn her back towards me and out of my touch.
she was awake.
tears threaten to fall from my eyes as i kiss her “i love you. so much baby.” and with that, i grab my stuff and walk out.
she’d probably want me on the couch anyways.
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fuck. my head is pounding and i feel like absolute shit. i sit up holding my head reaching my hand out to his side of the bed.
oh.
he isn't here.
whatever. didn't want him here anyways.
i think.
i step into our large bathroom and start a shower and as i’m rinsing the disappointment off my body, i almost miss the soft opening and shutting of a door.
was that in here? is that him?
he hasn’t said anything yet so neither will i. i turn the shower off and wrap myself with a towel and yank open the curtain shocked seeing him sitting on the toilet. waiting for me. i lock eyes with him.
mistake number 1.
he looks like shit.
eyes swollen and heavy with guilt, slight, no- very obvious red flush across his face, and tear-stained cheeks.
“baby please” is all he says when he rushes infront of me, blocking the exit.
ignoring his presence seems to be impossible.
“what do you want nanami” i say coldly, my gaze not daring to meet his.
“i am so sorry beautiful. i am so. sorry. there’s no excuse and no other way to express how sorry i am." he starts. "sorry can’t and won’t cut it. i love you and i do care about you. just so much. i’m so happy you’re in my life and i never regret marrying you, i only regret the mistakes i’ve made." he stops and takes a small breath. "you should be my number one priority. i’ve been terrible to you. i will do anything and everything for you.” he says desperately and tears streaming down his face. he’s crying. he’s sobbing actually trying to apologize. i finally look up at him with water-filled eyes.
before i can say anything, he pulls me in tight and is breaking down. “i-i’m so sorry sweetie i’m so so sorry-“ he can’t barely speak without sniffles. i’ve never seen him like this before. i wrap my arms around him and when i do he releases a sigh of relief.
“oh thank god” he says quickly before pulling me in even closer.
“did you mean it?” he asks, his voice quivering. “w-what you said las- night”
i take a second to think before answering. what’d i-
oh.
my heart drops.
“plea-please tell me you didn’t. r-right? you didn’t ’mean it?”
i look up at him, his lips are trembling and his face is red.
“no, i didn’t. i shouldn’t have said that. i’m sorry ‘min.”
“o-okay because if you did i- i wouldn’t know what to- to do. i’m sorry you can get changed n-now ill be waiting for you in the living room, okay love?”
“okay.” i whisper as i watch him turn around and shut the door.
i finally finish my post-shower duties and walk out of the bathroom.
is that.. apple pie im smelling or am i going crazy?
i must’ve taken forever because by the time i get out there, he’s knocked out. but he’s knocked out on a cute blanket laid across the floor with a box of my favorite donuts, a bottle of orange juice with 2 glasses, and-
an apple pie cinnamon candle buring away.
he set this all up as i was sleeping?
as if on cue, he slowly opens his eyes staring at me staring at him and the cutest set up ever.
i sniffle “did all this for- me?”
he stands up and softly grabs my hand to come sit with him, “of course doll. look”- he says grabbing the TV remote
“we can even watch our favorite movie.”
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yandereheathen · 5 months
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Hellooooooo i just wanted to say i really love Korm so far, its so so gooooooood <3 I would love to see what it looks like when they just go absolutely feral, like if they’re pissed off im curious see what the worst looks like 😈 thank you for listening luv u!!
AHHH MY FIRST ASK <3 I Legit fan girl so hard. I am so happy you like my cutie Korm. I didn't think people would like him this much <3 Here is a little dribble of angory Korm! You were found out: [18+ Yandere Korm OC Fic]
WARNINGS: NSFW (MDI) Knife play, violence, cussing, non-con, dark themes
Your hands shook as you looked up at the message on the phone Korm was holding up to you. It was a plan with your friend. To get you away from this house. You had been so careful. There was no change in your rituals, and you had submitted yourself to all of Korms…new care needs.
I needed to be more careful.
"K-korm, please, I don't know who that is or those messages. I love you, I would never." You tried lying, taking his arm.
He was smiling. You hated it when he did that. It always meant some form of pain would follow for you. You almost laugh thinking about how that smile used to warm your heart now, and it just makes you sick.
"Are you happy, Y/N?"
He lowers the phone, taking your face.
"i-i…am.."
You waver, unable to bring yourself to say what he made you say every night while he raped you while he fucked with not only your body but your whole being. You were so close to breaking that you could feel it.
"No. NO, I AM NOT HAPPY. I HATE YOU. I hate what you make me do. I hate that you lied to me. I hate that your mother and no one else will help me. You are a disgusting, sick, twisted little man. I hope you rot in hell."
You scream at him, the feeling of the last few weeks pouring out of your pain and frustration, and maybe the most prominent piece was his betrayal. It hurt so bad. In a tiny little part of your mind, you did love Korm.
Before he can speak back, you spit in his face.
Then, it was quiet as he blinked down at you. You immediately regret it. "Y/n" He sits up at full height; after this turn, you truly appreciate how big he was when he wasn't pretending. He wipes the spit off with one finger and slowly licks it off, savoring your taste for a moment before he closes his hands around your neck.
"Awww sweet Y/N Cute Y/N Someone just be grumpy from lack of sleep. Thats it. You have been taking such good care of me every night. However, we can't allow little sluts to talk like that to their future husbands, right? Humm?"
You shake your head frantically, crawling his hands around your neck. You try to rasp out pleas to let you go, but his grip is too firm. He moves close to your ear. "Let me get through your thick skull that I might be on the path to rot. However, you will be there with me. My wonderful Caretaker."
He pushes you down on the floor, standing over you, one arm painfully under his boot, the other pressing down on your head.
"You will never leave me Y/N. You were made for me. It is so pathetic watching you try to leave me. So cute. So Weak."
He grinds down on your head painfully. Your ears start ringing as you try vainly to get him off you. "P-please, please, Korm. I am sorry. I am so sorry. It hurts you are hurting me!" You manage to whimper, but as you have learned, this only excites him. How did your sweet, soft best friend turn into this sadistic monster? You didn't realize it was him all along. "Love is Pain Y/N. We will do this until you learn your lesson." He gives your head more pressure just enough to start to see stars before crouching and lifting you by your hair.
"Open" You do so now, crying, your face bruised and red from his boot. He smiles, running his finger around your mouth before playing with your tongue. "So warm. So soft. It's just everything about you, Y/n, so. I n t o x ic i ca ti ng. He whimpers; you see the bulge in his pants, creating a spot of precum from his excitement. Then he spits directly on your tongue, giggling to himself. "Swallow" you do so, almost gagging at the taste of him coating your mouth. "That is a good little one. I taste good, don't I? Savor it, Y/N."
You cry harder now. How could you think about leaving? You know he would find you. It hurt you and anyone who wanted to help you.
He moans at your sobs, kissing them as he pulls you into his lap on the floor. Cooing at you, you knew it was coming before you felt the knife on your back. You sobbed harder as it followed the still-healing scars on your lower back. He lifted you just enough to cut away nothing keeping him from being inside of you before focusing himself in with little to no preparation on your part. You scream out as he ruts inside you, panting as the knife with some sleight of the hand still barely nicks you, and he bounces you on his lap. "F-fuck, that's it. Cry harder, Y/N. Show me how much you love me. You feel so perfect around me now. Dont. I?"
He thrusts in at those last two words. You hide your face in his shoulder, a sniveling mess, and he breeds into you the knife, sending little pangs of pain with unwelcome pleasure.
That's when you realized.
You were already rotting in hell. With him By your side.
"I love you forever. My little Caretaker."
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