fallen star 🌟
so obsessed with this clown that i picked up a pen after years
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just keep breathing | javier peña x f!reader
pairing: javier peña x afab!fem!reader
summary: javi finds it harder and harder to keep up with the more physical aspects of his job. reader offers him some love and words of comfort.
word count: 1k
rating: 18+ minors dni
warnings etc: BODY REPRESENTATION <3 (reader is described as having thicker thighs, a belly, and crow’s feet), smoking + smoking related health issues, hurt/comfort, back massages, fluff, angst, bein in ur 30s/40s, established relationship. probably bad spanish (please correct me). NO USE OF Y/N.
A/N: just a little drabble while i finish up imh pt 2. this is not based on any canonical instance, just a made up scenario that i imagine taking place somewhere in season 3 of narcos.
PLEASE NOTE that this is purely self-indulgent and may not to speak to the experiences of every larger-bodied person and/or smoker.
For once, the raid is basically going according to plan.
At least until one of the narcos makes a run for it.
“Go around!” Feistl hollers, as he darts towards the back of the building, too far for Feistl to get to, close enough for Javi to maybe catch a break.
“Get him on the other side!” Javi hears from the front room, but he’s already running out the back door, in time to see the man - really just a twenty-something kid from what Javi can tell - heading into the alley outside, under the banner of the scorching Colombian sun.
Javi books it after him, as fast as his legs can take him. He follows the guy on foot towards the end of the alley and he’s just about within non-lethal shooting range if he could just get a bit closer -
Then they’re both bursting out onto the main road, blocked from corner to corner with bodies, the kid weaving through them with ease, too fast now - Javi can’t keep up.
Run, you piece of shit, Javi tells himself.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
It’s a reminder he needs more and more the older he gets.
He manages to keep the guy in sight, sprinting with all his might to stay with him, till he feels like someone trudging through a dream, slow and useless. The narco’s getting away and Javi can’t fucking get to him fast enough -
He takes in another heaving inhalation of hot air, willing his muscles to take him forward but it’s no use, there’s nowhere left for the air to go, his lungs full and burning, oxygen lacking as the joints in his legs beg for respite.
He has to stop.
Sweat pools at the front of his shirt as he tries desperately to haul in a fucking breath, crumpling forward with his hands on his knees, as the kid disappears out of view.
“Qué pasó?” Feistl demands, finally catching up with Javi in the throng of bodies.
“Le perdí,” Javi admits through a series of painful gasps.
“You see where your goddamn smoker’s lungs get us, huh, boss?” the young Feistl gripes furiously.
And Javi can’t even protest, because he knows it’s true.
-
You’re already in bed when he comes home later, long after dark. You sit up when you hear him come in, watching him cautiously in the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand as he removes his sweat-stained shirt. He sits on the edge of the bed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, frustration visibly mapping the muscles of his back.
You run your palm over them soothingly.
“Tough day?”
You’d learned better than to ask if he was okay.
Javi sighs, your hand rising and falling on his back as the air raggedly fills his weakened lungs.
“Getting too old for this shit,” he murmurs, tone agitated and desolate.
You move to situate yourself behind him, so you can let your fingers dig gently into the meaty flesh of his shoulders, broader now than they had been when you’d first met him.
“What happened?” you ask softly while you tenderly massage the tissues of his back.
He lets his head fall slack behind him, indulging in the feeling of your hands working away, willing it to be enough to relax his anxious mind.
“I can’t be out chasing these motherfuckers anymore...I mean, he was right there and I couldn’t -,”
Javi’s breath catches as you discover a particularly tough knot in his lower back. He sighs shallowly again before going on.
“I just couldn’t breathe.”
You pause the motions of your fingers to lay your head on the bare skin of his back, wrapping your arms around his front so your hands hover over his soft belly.
“Thought that’s why they gave you this Big Important Job? So you wouldn’t have to be out there chasing chicos malos anymore?”
You hear Javi exhale lightly, and can just imagine the tiny smile that’s no doubt playing at the corners of his lips.
“Doesn’t work like that, hermosa,” he says placatingly. “Not the way this goddamn government operates.”
He reaches into his jeans pocket then, retrieving his cigarettes and lighter.
“Guess it’s what I fuckin’ deserve,” he grumbles as he lights one and takes a long pull. “Said I was gonna quit smoking.”
He laughs once without humour before taking another drag and you squeeze him a little tighter, feeling his body lean back into yours as you do.
“Bodies change, Javi. Everything catches up with us eventually. I’ve changed since we met,” you add, thinking of the extra weight you’d gained in your hips and thighs since moving down to Bogotá, no longer working and a little more sedentary while Javi hunted the ‘bad guys.’ Not to mention the wrinkles that had begun sprouting around both your eyes, the squishy tummies you each now boast, the kind that just naturally came with age.
“No me estoy quejando,” he grins, reaching behind him to grip your soft upper leg, an area you’re particularly self-conscious about but that you know he’s grown particularly fond of.
“I know you’re not,” you giggle as his fingers tickle the bare skin of your thigh, pressing a kiss to his ear and sighing when his head falls back completely onto your shoulder, exposing his sumptuous neck and giving you a full view of his chest. “And neither am I.”
His eyes fall closed as he takes another drag of his cigarette and you watch his ribcage fill with smoke before he breathes it out, creating a cloud of toxin around you both.
“You’ve worked so hard for so long, Javi, baby,” you say reassuringly, goosebumps rising on his arms as your whispered voice brushes over the taut line of his jaw. “There’s no shame in slowing down.”
You grab the cigarette out of his fingers then. His eyes fly open to follow your hand as you wrap your lips around the filter and take a rare drag of your own.
“Any maybe we cut down on these,” you suggest lightly as you exhale, considering the little stick as you twiddle it between your fingers. “But only because I’d like to have you around as long as possible.”
You punctuate the sentiment with a kiss to his clavicle.
He snags the smoke back from you, takes another elongated pull and, exhaling huskily, leans forward to put it out in the ashtray on the nightstand.
“For you, cariño?” he hums, twisting his body around to better cup your face in one of of his big hands. “I’ll try.”
You both know it’s a promise he can’t keep, but the sentiment is enough to make you smile for now.
He presses his lips to yours softly, and takes his deepest breath of the day as he falls deeper into your familiar kiss.
END.
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Hey, I started reading Robin son of Batman because of your recommendation (I literally have a print of your post on my phone to not forget lol). Honestly? One of the best things I ever read!!!
Thank you for opening my eyes! Damian has been one of my favorite characters for over a year, but I didn't read/watch much of him because of school, life (and probably an executive dysfunction in the mix).
Maya is incredible. I loved her.
I haven't finished all the issues yet, but do you have any other recommendations?
WAH this makes me so happy, i'm glad you still gave it a shot even with how busy life is!! ;v;
i’d love to give reccs, and i’ll try to go a beginner friendly route! tbh you can pick up whatever here, but since you've read R:SOB i’d immediately follow up with Batman and Robin (2011) #1-8! this first arc is what’s referred to in Maya’s introduction, and it's just. so good.
Main Books
Batman and Robin (2009)
Dick as Batman with Damian as his Robin!
#20-22 Tree of Blood: Dark Knight vs White Knight arc is done by Tomasi and Gleason, the team for the next Batman and Robin series
*Batman and Robin (2011)
Bruce and Damian figuring out their relationship as both Batman & Robin and father & son
imo you can enjoy the ride and read straight through this but i’ll add context to avoid as much confusion as possible since there’s the occasional tie-in or offscreen events, like Damian’s death nbd
Batman Incorporated (2012) #1-10
events leading to Damian's death - affects Batman and Robin (2011) from issue #18
kind of a tough read especially with how Talia's written, but a lot of iconic bits like Batcow, Damian's vegetarian declaration, Alfred the cat, "We Were the Best, Richard."
Robin (2021)
another self-discovery adventure, particularly after Alfred’s death and a fallout with Bruce (and questionable writing choices from his last Teen Titans run)
Batman and Robin (2023)
currently ongoing! after a number of events, Bruce and Damian are back as a duo
Damian Dynamics!
Batman: Streets of Gotham (2009) #7, 10-12
arc where Damian meets one of his first Gotham friends, Colin Wilkes
Batgirl (2009) #5-7, #17
Steph and Damian dynamic! "the bad cop, worse cop" dysfunctional duo
Red Robin (2009) #13-14
early Tim and Damian dynamic that of course includes fighting haha. funny enough, accidentally my first intro to Damian LOL
Teen Titans (2003) #89-92
Dick!Batman has Damian join the Teen Titans. Start of Damian and Rose Wilson dynamic that’s extended in Robin (2021)
Batman: Gates of Gotham (2011)
Damian meets Cass and has a brief team up
Gotham Academy (2015) #7
Damian meets Maps Mizoguchi! they have a few other meetings, but outside of that the series itself is a great read!
Robin War Event (2015)
Robin War (2015) #1, Grayson (2014) #15, Detective Comics (2011) #47, We Are Robin (2015) #7, Robin: Son of Batman (2015) #7, Robin War (2015) #2
Duke and Damian dynamic! not exactly beginner friendly but these are the main issues in order for the event! you can also read the TPB version for everything including Tie-Ins
Nightwing (2016) #16-20, #42, #43
#16-20 Nightwing and Robin arc!
#42 Dick on a mission to save Damian! the one appearance of "Wiggles" the dragon
#43 Dick, Roy, and Damian team-up
New Talent Showcase 2018 "Catwoman: Pedigree"
Selina, Damian, and Alfred the cat
Batman: Prelude to the Wedding - Robin vs. Ra's Al Ghul (2018)
Selina, Damian, and Cheese Viking - Damian's fav game shown in Nightwing: Rebirth (2016)
Monkey Prince (2022) #1-4
Marcus Sun Shugel-Shen's main comic, but Damian features as a fun dynamic here before they're in more serious circumstances in Batman VS Robin (2022)/Lazarus Planet event
Superman (2016) #10 - 11
the beginning of the Super Sons! featuring Maya!
Super Sons (2017)
solitary arcs but there’s a few event tie-in issues later
Adventures of the Super Sons (2018)
literally more Super Sons adventures lol galactic shenanigans yeehaw
Challenge of the Super Sons (2020)
Super Sons time shenanigans feat. the Justice League
Robin 80th Anniversary (2020)
"Boy Wonders" - brief Damian feature as Tim considers his next step in life
"My Best Friend" - Jon's thoughts on Damian and their dynamic
"Bat and Mouse" - refers to Damian's unfortunate Teen Titans (2016) run at the time of release which follows up with Teen Titans Annual #2 where Damian briefly gives up Robin
Extra Comics!
Superman/Batman (2003) #77
Kara and Damian in a Halloween team-up! also the appearance of "Li'l Matches" lol
DCU Halloween Special '09 "Cavity Search"
Damian out on a solo mission for Halloween night. Immediately after is Tim's Red Robin story "Then and Now: Our Father's Sins" which is more somber in contrast but also a good read!
DCU Halloween Special 2010 "Robin the Vampire Slayer"
a Dick!Batman and Robin story featuring the vampire Andrew Bennett
Cursed Comics Cavalcade (2018) "The Devil You Know"
Halloween themed comic with a sweet short story of Damian alongside Solomon Grundy
DC's Terrors Through Time (2022)
"Trick or Treat" a Super Sons Halloween story
"The Haunting of Wayne Manor" Damian and Deadman story - in the end, Boston kinda refers to Nezha's possession of Damian in Batman VS Robin (2022) which was happening at the time of this release
Batman: Li'l Gotham (2013)
lighthearted series that instantly makes me smile with the silliness and Dustin Nguyen’s art i love this dearly
Secret Origins (2014) #4 "A Boy's Life"
a retelling of Damian's origin story
Detective Comics (2016) #1001-1005
Batman and Robin vs the Arkham Knight (unrelated to the game)
Truth & Justice (2021) #6/#16 - 18 Digital First version
cute story of Damian’s birthday! Juni Ba’s art is so fun!!
DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration (2021) “Special Delivery”
short story about Damian! and poisoned pizzas. completely forgot the artist Sami Basri drew Rebirth Damian here before catboy Damian lol Cass’s story “Sounds” is also cute! Marcus makes his first appearance in "The Monkey Prince Hates Superheroes"
DC VS Vampires (2021)
Damian makes appearances throughout this elseworlds book, but the one-shot DC VS Vampires: Hunters (2022) is vampire Damian-centric!
Batman: Black and White (2021) #5
“Father & Son Outing” short story written and drawn by Jorge Jimenez!
Batman: Urban Legends (2021) #20-23
#20 “My Son” Talia and Bruce focus
#20 - 23 “The Murder Club” 4 Parts
Tiny Titans (2008) #33, #39, #45, #47
a few appearances but SO CUTE, LOOK AT HIM
*Batman and Robin (2011) reading guide
i'm mostly trying to avoid the "what did i just walk in on?" kinda feeling when i first started reading comics LOL i'll list the comics where events take place, but you don't necessarily have to read them to go through this book since things are usually explained as quickly as possible in the first page or so
#0 Someday Never Comes
Talia and baby Damian before he grows up to meet Bruce
#1-8 Born to Kill
just an incredibly solid arc for Bruce and Damian!
#9 Court of Owls Tie-In Issue
Damian VS a Court of Owls Talon. While Bruce is occupied with a home invasion of Talons, Alfred makes a call for allies to protect targeted Gotham public figures from Talons. During Batman (2011) #1-11
#10-12 Terminus
Damian challenges the previous Robins sans Steph
Batman Incorporated (2012) is occurring at this time where Talia has placed a bounty on Damian and there's small mentions of that
#13-14 Eclipsed/Devoured
mostly solitary arc! end of it leads into the Death of the Family event
#15-16 Death of the Family Tie-In Issues
Damian and Joker face-off... Alfred's been kidnapped by the Joker, and Damian goes looking for him. During Batman (2011) #13-17
#17 Life is but a Dream - Death of the Family Epilogue
a sort of subconscious check-in through the dreams of Damian, Alfred, and Bruce. Nightwing (2011) #17 features Damian encouraging Dick after Death of the Family events
#18 Undone "Requiem"
Bruce dealing with Damian's death from Batman Incorporated #8
other reactions to Damian's death: Dick in Nightwing (2011) #18, Tim in Teen Titans (2011) #18
#19-23 Denial, Rage, The Bargain, Despair, Acceptance
Bruce through the stages of grief with some batfam appearances in each. also introduces Carrie Kelley into continuity as Damian's acting tutor.
Batman (2011) #19-20 also addresses Bruce's loss
#23.1-23.4
these could be skipped - villain stories, also related to Forever Evil event.
#24-28 The Big Burn
optional Batman and Two-Face/Harvey Dent arc, #23.1 is part of this story!
Damian's resurrection and return
#29-32 The Hunt for Robin
Ras took Talia and Damian's bodies from their graves, and Bruce goes after him.
-> Robin Rises: Omega
continues events from #32. if you don't want to jump to this, basically, Glorious Godfrey and a bunch of parademons from Apokolips are here for a chaos shard which Ra's put in Damian's sarcophagus. at some point, Bruce gets a hold of the shard where he sees a vision that leads him to believe Damian can be resurrected. Godfrey ends up taking the shard, along with Damian's body since it was emitting the same energy.
#33-37 Robin Rises
Bruce hellbent on retrieving Damian from Apokolips and reviving him
-> Robin Rises: Alpha
necessary to read and continues events from #37! Damian's back with a bang lol
#38-40 Superpower
Damian adjusting to having superpowers and being alive again
Annual #1 2013 Batman Impossible
sweet (and funny) one-shot of Damian sending Bruce on a meaningful scavenger hunt around the world while Damian gets to be the cutest Batman for a bit
Annual #2 2014 Batman and Robin: Week One
one-shot takes place during Damian's absence. after Bruce and Alfred find a mystery gift left for Dick, Dick recounts a story he had told Damian from his Robin days.
Annual #3 2015 Moonshot
one-shot Batman and Robin adventure on the moon!
...and of course after Batman and Robin (2011), Damian's story continues in his first solo Robin: Son of Batman (2015)!
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Happy Little Accidents
The last thing Eddie Diaz expects to come out of his trip to Buckley’s Plant Nursery & Landscaping with his son, is to develop an honest to god schoolgirl crush on the guy who owns the place (and not notice that that is what’s happening for an embarrassingly long time).
The plan is simple. Get in, have Christopher pick out a couple of succulents or whatever he needs for his school project, and get out without infesting any of the gorgeous plants in the shop with his bad plant karma.
But then, the first thing he’s greeted with is a hunk of a man, carrying two heavy packs of soil on his broad shoulders. Eddie swears he can see a drop of sweat running down the man’s face in slow motion. His t-shirt looks like it’s one strategic muscle flex away from bursting at the seams and Eddie—Eddie feels nervous all of the sudden. And he’s gaping like a fish.
“Hey,” Hunk-man says as he hoists the soil on the counter next to him with a grunt, “What can I help you with?”
At least Eddie has enough self-awareness to close his mouth.
Or: the one where Buck owns a plant nursery and Eddie stumbles through his crush (and has no game during all of it)—oh and also, there are a lot of Bob Ross references.
Read on Ao3
(With a banner by the wonderful @theladyyavilee thank you so so so much <3)
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DOGWARTS SCARF DOGWARTS SCARF
inspired by @cherrifire’s limited life skin for martyn !!!! crochet ‘pattern’ by me ^^
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How to Fall in Love in 5 Snacks
notes: so i super love theater and i came up with this idea while I was at one. My main account has other asks so I thought it would be fun to post here instead. Don't expect future fics to be this long, they normally aren't lol. Also I may or may not write a fic about Mikey and his person in this fic 🤷 who knows 🙈 This was written by Hearts (you can tell my the notes being green and the divider being green!)
Popcorn and one water
Leo saw her almost as soon as he entered the theater. She was at the counter, across the busy lobby, wearing a name tag. Leo suddenly wished he had supervision so he could out her name from all the way over here.
“I'm gonna go get a snack.” Leo informed Donnie who likely gave a snarky reply but Leo was far too invested in getting closer to her. He was surprised that he hadn't seen her around before, since she looked like she was in his grade.
She had a sour expression on her face, looking dull and monotonous. Not fully a frown but definitely not a smile, her eyes darting away before they could meet anyone else's. It made Leo nervous that she was uncomfortable.
Either way, he was determined to swallow his anxiety and get a snack (or rather use getting a snack as a guise to learn her name.)
Leo patiently waited in line, tapping his fingers against the fabric of his jeans. His heart beat erratically in his chest, sweat collecting in his hands. He tried to wipe it away just as it was his turn to get concessions.
“Hi, what can I get you?” She said, her voice surprisingly friendly for such an….unpleasant expression.
“Can I get a……” Leo faltered, realizing he hadn't thought of what to get yet. He glanced at the menu trying to figure out what to get before he frustrates you or the people in line.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Can I get popcorn and a bottle of water?” Leo finally said, hoping you wouldn't think his choice was dumb. Was it dumb? Should he have gotten a candy bar? Or maybe he should have gotten a soda instead?
“Alright, coming right up.” She said cheerfully, turning around to grab a water bottle from the fridge. She leaned over the counter, standing on her tip-toes (Leo couldn't help but find that adorable) to hand the water to him. Leo shivered when your fingers brushed against his, his green skin gaining a pinkish tint.
Leo finally glanced at her nametag, the sound of her name repeating over and over again in his head. It sounded so nice, so pretty, so lovely. He wanted to keep it locked up in his brain, place it on a shelf and make sure your name never gets forgotten and left to the dust.
Finally he got his popcorn, yet again his heart fluttered when your hand touched his. Was it normal to have heart palpitations over minor touch?
“Enjoy the show!” She said, giving Leo a small smile. He felt like the luckiest turtle in the world.
“You too, [Name]!” Leo said, taking a moment to process. Then he proceeded to die of cringes. She wasn't even watching the show since she was working!
Leo quickly walked away before he could see your reaction to his absolute idiocy.
How was he already so far gone?
2. Two hershey bars and one bag of gummies
“Leeeeoooooooo, can you please get me a snack?” Mikey whined, not even five seconds after Leo had returned with his own snacks. Not that he was complaining, since his brain was still on the counter where you handed him his popcorn and water.
Leo's hands still tingled, like all the atoms inside his body were doing a little dance right where your skin has brushed up against his. God, he felt ridiculous. (Donnie would most certainly label him a simp if he could hear Leo's thoughts.)
“Alright fine, I'll get your snack.” Leo conceded, acting as if he wasn't ecstatic to see you again. Even with his last moment with you making Leo crumple up with cringe, he still likes you.
[Name.]
He wondered if you could tell how much you already make his heart pound and make his head feel like it's underwater. Like he's drowning quick and fast but Leo found he doesn't mind if this is his death. He liked the way you made him feel.
Leo put his own stuff down in his chair, using his ninja skills to avoid getting trapped in the crowd. Normally this sort of event wasn't for Leo, it's crowded and busy and Leo doesn't know this musical. But Mikey begged for them all to go so they could support his friend.
He had never been happier to do something Mikey wants.
Leo weaved his way through the hoard of people, making sure to avoid getting stuck in the monstrously long bathroom line. Finally, he made it out into the lobby eyes darting around until they spotted you.
She seemed to notice Leo too, as time slowed down. Her lips quirked into a smile, eyes crinkling like just made an inside joke with him.
The blue clad turtle got into line, trying not to seem impatient even though he really really wanted to shove everyone out of line. That would be rude of him.
He couldn't help wanting to see her! But he could control his…aggressive urges. (Maybe Raph was rubbing off on Leo a little bit.)
After what felt like an eternity but was only a few seconds, it was finally Leo's turn. He approached the counter trying to suppress the dorky grin on his face.
"Hello again." She said, her eyes watching his face carefully. His skin itched like her sight was physically touching him.
"Hi, again. My brother wanted some snacks so I'm back." Leo explained, although almost immediately regretting it. Was it too much information? Was he rambling? Did she think he is a weirdo?
"If my sister was here she would make me get her snacks too." She replied, gifting Leo the chance to hear her delightful laugh. It was soft and quiet, repeating itself in his brain like a record that never stops turning.
He wanted to keep talking to you, maybe bond over having siblings, but there were people behind hin who were growing impatient. Leo only hopes to see you after the show.
"Can I have two hershey bars and some gummies?" Leo asked, feeling light and airy. Although disappointed he has to go as soon as you give him the food. She handed it to him, her gentle fingers wrapped around the packages as they brushed against his calloused skin.
"Enjoy the snacks." She said, with a small smile. Leo returned the smile, not saying anything yet in fear of saying something cringe again. He can't control the things he says around you.
As he turned around he could have sworn he heard you mutter, "See you soon, cutie."
Leo really hoped his brothers wanted more snacks soon.
3. One pack of cookies and a Sprite
The musical was a lot better than Leo had anticipated. The story was interesting and the songs weren't obnoxious. Plus Leo could see how much Mikey was enjoying seeing his friend up stage.
"Ughh, I need some soda. Dude go get me some and a snack too." Raph said, shoving some money in Leo's hands just as the lights started coming back on. It was intermission, or rather the little break in between acts so the actors can have a break. At least that's how Mikey explained it to Leo.
Leo was grateful for the intermission since it meant he had another chance to see [Name]. It seemed things were going very well with her! Even if he's only know her for about an hour. And most of that hour has been watching high schoolers kill other high schoolers. Very fascinating stuff.
"You're lucky I'm a good big brother." Leo replied in a snippy tone as though to mask his excitement Which doesn't seem to work because Donnie glances away from Mikey and gives Leo a suspicious look.
"Uh huh and you aren't excited to see Miss.....[Last Name]?" Donnie added, glancing at his phone. Leo blushed, more embarrassed by the teasing than the fact Donnie probably just got all of [Name]'s personal information.
"W-whatever!" Leo squeaked, face burning even more as his brothers laughed at him. How would Donnie even know Leo already had a major minor crush on [Name]? How obvious was he about it?
Leo doesn't have much time to think about it because he quickly had to weave himself through the lines forming to the bathrooms and concession stands. Yet again he was feeling grateful for Splinter teaching him the skills he needed to not get trapped between the parents of the actors and the other kids forced to come. A...unique crowd.
How many times was he going to be stuck in this line, waiting to see the face that had been plaguing his thoughts for the first half of the show? It was frustrating certainly but he had to remain patient and hope [Name] won't be sick of seeing him.
"Hi, what can I...oh it's you again!" She said, her smile brightening instead of falling thankfully. Leo laughed, although it sounded slightly awkward.
"Yeah, my brothers always seem to want me to get them something." Leo rolled his eyes, pretending as though he wasn't insanely excited to come back to the concession stand and see her.
She snorted and muttered a, "Real." as she gave Leo a wry smile. "And what do your brothers want this time?"
"A pack of cookies and a Sprite, please."
[Name] grabbed the stuff, her skirt flowing around her. She was dressed so elegantly, making Leo feel slightly under dressed. But she was utterly stunning, so much so it made Leo's tongue feel like an iron weight on top.
"Here you go, Blue." She said with a grin, making Leo startle slightly. Oh, oh. He hasn't even told her his name yet! How stupid can he be?
"My name's Leo." He explained, a slight influx in his pitch making him blush yet again. (Why must every bone in his body be cursed with awkwardness?!)
"Well, it's nice to meet you. I hope to see you soon, Leo." She said, waving Leo off. He smiled a little dopey as he walked away, almost under a trance.
He was unable to be saved from the thing called love.
4. Two granola bars
"Donnie, you are such a weirdo! Granola bars?" Mikey complained, leaning back in his chair as he watched Donnie hand Leo his money.
"Yes! I'm not wanting sugary treats right now. Granola bars are a perfectly acceptable snack." Donnie huffed, handing his blue masked brother a five dollar bill.
"Yeah, yeah. Just hand me the money so I can buy it before intermission hands." Leo complained, exaggerating his annoyance so he doesn't seem terribly down bad for [Name]. He's known her for barely any time at all and he's already dying to see her again, taking any chance really.
"Shut up, Nardo. You aren't fooling anyone. Now hurry up and get my food." Donnie replied, pulling out his phone to watch the newest episode of whatever anime he is currently obsessed with. Leo scoffed but walked away, heart flurrying with excitment.
Would [Name] think he is pathetic for his thoughts? Or would she call him a romantic? Oh god, if only he knew whether she liked him even a fraction of the same way.
"Bye-bye birdie~" Mikey sang, giggling after. Leo rolled his eyes, finding the musical reference not very funny at all. His brothers were such dorks.
Leo walked into line yet again, although grateful to see it isn't as long as before. She seemed to be working fast, waltzing from behind the counter to give everyone the things they bought.
"Here you go, sir! I hope you're enjoying the show!" She said to the man in front of Leo, finally making it his turn. How Leo so nervous? Gah, he's scared the money will be damp from how much he is nervous sweating!
"Wow, I feel like I haven't seen you in centuries." She said with a dry smile, Leo awkwardly laughing. Damn, she's so cool! And he's so....not!
"Hehe yeah. My other brother decided to get two granola bars." Leo explained, her eyes lighting up with amusement. His stomach clenched at that look. She was so effortlessly beautiful.
"Ooh, interesting choice." She hummed grabbing said items. Leo nodded, still feeling his nerves like a tightly pressed spring waiting to be unleashed.
They exchanged the money and granola bars, luckily with her seeming to notice the copious amounts of sweat on Leo's palms. Why must he be so embarrassing?
"Better get going." She said, jutting her chin towards the door, "Show is about to start."
Leo sighed, his heart fracturing dramatically at what seemed like rejection. Maybe she hasn't been flirting with him and Leo is too delusional to read the signs. Of course she doesn't like him! He's a cringy, dorky mutant who can barely speak without saying something so awkward.
"Yeah, that's true." Leo replied, wishing he could suck the disheartened tone out of his words. His very existence is embarrassing! She frowned a little, like she was surprised to see Leo disappointed.
Either way, Leo turned away and headed back to the audience with a heavy heart. He shouldn't be surprised she doesn't like him the way he liked her.
Who would like a freak like him?
5. ?????
Leo was....impressed by how much he enjoyed the show. He had never been one for musicals or any of that stuff but he can appreciate it. Especially since Mikey was head over heels for the lead in the show. (Although Mikey keeps saying they are "just friends")
He grabbed his trash and threw it out, waiting for his brothers to finish talking to the cast in the lobby so they can head home. He was exhausted.
Leo couldn't help but feel heartbroken over [Name] even if they did nothing more than be friendly while working. He sighed and leaned against the wall, watching Donnie bond with another audience member who liked anime. All of his brothers had a chance with someone except for him! Maybe it was less to do with him being a mutant and more of the fact he was so awkward and annoying and stupid and emb-
"Hey, Leo."
He stiffened at the sound of her voice, his heart yet again being sent into overdrive. He tried to stay calm as he turned around to see [Name]'s curious but tired expression. She was pretty enough to frustrate him.
She gave him a smile that put Leo slightly to ease, even if he was wary. And for little reason since she did nothing but her job! Leo was a pathetic lovesick fool.
"You forgot your last snack." She said, a slight glint in her eyes. Leo's curiosity was intrigued. She held out her arms and showed Leo what she was holding....a box of dates.
"Umm, what?" Leo asked confused, trying to figure out whatever the hell she meant by that. Dates? What teenager in their right mind eats those? And does their school even sell them?
She flustered (how cute Leo thought it was) and looked away, still holding the box of dates in her hands. Leo wasn't sure what was going on.
"It was a stupid pun. Like a date for a date? And multiple because I want to go on multiple dates with you?" She explained, an embarrassed laugh coming from her, "Sorry, I must have misunderstood some signals. I thought you were cute and I wanted to ask you out but I chickened out earlier."
Leo could have sworn his face was going to explode from how much blood rushed to it quickly. She thought he was cute? And she was dorky enough to ask him out using a pun? Leo must have died and gone to heaven because someone this perfect can't exist and like him.
"You don't need to say anything. Sorry fir bothering you, Leo." She shyly stammered, attempting to walk away but Leo grabbed her wrist before he could second guess himself.
"I'd love to go on a date with you. And I would make a pun but nothing can top yours." Leo replied, shoving the words out of his throat before he can be too shy. She brightened immediately, her smile widening.
"Really?" She asked, turning to face him. Leo nodded and smiled, finding her happiness contagious.
She leaned in and so did Leo, the rest of the world fading to black. He was about to get his first kiss! With an awesome girl too! Maybe they should wait for their first date? Or do people normally kiss this soon? Maybe Leo should have watched more romance movies when he had the chance.
"Bleh, can you stop giving each other the lovey dovey eyes?" Donnie complained, all three of Leo's brothers appearing at the most inopportune time. Leo pulled away the same time she did, both looking like guilty kids.
"Time to go?" Leo asked, cringing at the way his voice squeaked. All of his brothers snorted and [Name] gave Leo a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah, lets go!" Mikey said, still looking far too hyper for it to be 10 pm. Raph rested his arm on Mikey's head, almost like it was his way to wrangle the younger boy.
Before they left, Leo and [Name] swapped phone numbers so they can plan a date and talk. Leo waved goodbye to her, smile spreading across his lips like invisible hands were forcing the joy on his face.
"You're such a dork, Nardo." Raph snorted, bit Leo was far too happy to even care about rebutting him. He may be a dork but he did get the girl.
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Amane, indoctrination, and gaslighting
and why voting Amane innocent would be the best course of action
I've been wanting to write a big post on Amane talking about indoctrination and such. Because I see takes sometimes that make it clear the person doesn't really... Get It.
Most of what I'll be explaining comes from my personal experiences growing up.
Additionally, most of what I say when it comes to outcomes (i.e. "If x happens, Amane will do y") will be based on the assumption that realism, not entertainment, is prioritized in the writing and that there are no major holes in our knowledge of what's going on. Theoretically anything could happen since this is a fictional scenario and we don't know everything when it comes to the world, the cases, and the characters. Not to mention my situation was nowhere near as extreme as hers. So although I probably have a better understanding of it than most people, I definitely can't claim that I know what she's gone through.
Personal anecdotes I add to better support my points will be in the small font (this!) since I don't want them to distract from the main text and so that they can be easily skipped for those who may be worried about being triggered. But if anyone needs plain text descriptions, I'll happily provide them!
!! TW for child abuse, religious abuse, and cults !!
I recommend skipping my personal anecdotes if more detailed discussions about these topics are a trigger for you.
At the heart of "good" (read: successful) indoctrination is gaslighting.
Since gaslighting has been one of the many psychology terms completely watered down and distorted by the internet, I will define it just so we're all on the same page!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make the victim question their own sanity, sense of reality, or power of reasoning.
Basically, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts, your feelings, your interpretations, etc. You become completely reliant on other people (usually specific people who are the ones doing the gaslighting) to figure out what's real/true or not.
Toxic/extremist religious groups like to take gaslighting a step further though. Not only do they make it so you cannot trust yourself to judge what is right or not, they may also teach you that what feels wrong is actually right. You can see where this can start to cause some issues lol.
Anything your gut may tell you that contradicts what the group/cult leaders tell you—"this is wrong!", "this is bad!", "I don't want to do this..."—must be ignored. Because those feelings and thoughts, according to the leaders, are actually the sinful part of you trying to lead the good and faithful part of you astray. They make you question yourself to make sure you never question them.
They will figuratively or literally beat this into you until your first instinct is no longer to listen to your gut and do what it says, but to dismiss it and do what it's telling you not to do. Existing becomes a chronic power struggle between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the fact that you're struggling often then gets used against you as proof that you need to follow their teachings. Because if you're unhappy, then you must be doing something wrong. You just need to have a little more faith, dedicate a little more time to the religion/group, go a little harder into your duties... Only then will you feel better—feel more enlightened.
An integral part in making all this work is isolation. If you don't somehow isolate the members, they may figure out that they're being manipulated and abused.
Now, isolation doesn't always mean purely physical isolation (though Amane is being isolated physically to at least some capacity). Psychological isolation is almost just as powerful. An almost universal psychological isolation tactic used by extremist groups and cults is the "Us vs Them" mentality. We can see this being very prominent with Amane. A lot of things she talks about with regard to the cult involves an Us-vs-Them dynamic. There is "Us", the cult, and "Them", everyone else.
Personally, we were taught that those who weren't believers of our religion were out to get us or will, at the very least, get us hurt/killed somehow. We were told many people wanted us dead just for being believers. You had to be careful and watch out when interacting with non-believers; you couldn't trust them. God was constantly testing you via others, and you had to make sure you stayed faithful.
This in particular is why no matter if you vote guilty or innocent, that itself will not actually do anything to change her beliefs. Voting her guilty will not make her start to feel bad and then question her beliefs. Voting her innocent will not make her listen to us and then question her beliefs. If we make her have any doubt about the cult, that's just proof to her that what we're telling her is wrong and is just another "trial" from God for her to overcome. So, changing her beliefs should not be a factor considered when voting since it's completely irrelevant. Everything can be twisted to support the cult. That's just how it works.
I don't think any amount of punishment will make Amane "come to her senses". I mean... what could we possibly do to her that she hasn't already had to endure? Punishment will likely only escalate things even more. Not to mention that having a bit of a fascination with martyrdom isn't all that uncommon in those who have been religiously abused and indoctrinated. The threat of punishment may only serve to motivate her to double down on her beliefs and behavior. Not to say she wants and likes punishment. It's obvious she's both scared of punishment and wants it to stop. After all, that's most likely the motive behind the murder.
Even prior to Amane's age, I was already fantasizing about being a martyr. A part of me almost wanted to be killed for my religion and community. It was seen as something extremely admirable. The ultimate sacrifice, if you will. We were taught that if given the choice between saving yourself by denying your faith or letting yourself be hurt/killed by standing your ground, you should choose the latter. Of course, I also did not want that to happen at all. It scared me shitless. But we weren't allowed to be scared about that stuff. It was seen as questioning God and the religious authorities, which was completely taboo. So I had no choice but to "want" it.
Isolating Amane is the worst possible thing we could do to her. No one gets better from being isolated, and this goes double for people living in abusive environments. She's been isolated her whole life. The best thing for her would be spending time with the other prisoners without restrictions. The more time she spends around people who have no connection to the cult, the better. Trying to argue with those in cults about why they're wrong and why they are in a cult (because most don't even recognize they're in a cult due to the gaslighting, indoctrination, and stigma) will almost always backfire. The best thing to do is to just be there for them to have someone to interact with who is not a cult member.
The only reason I left the extremist religious community I grew up in was because I made a friend who was not affiliated with it. I don't think I would've been able to see that the conditions I was living in were Not Very Good without that friend. He didn't even really do anything to actively help me. Just learning more about the real world through him was enough to make me start looking closer at my life.
To vote her guilty would be to continue isolating her. Not just physically as the guilty prisoners get restrictions put on them, but it's also an inescapable psychological isolation. Innocent vs Guilty is just another Us vs Them dynamic.
I fear that, if she ends up guilty this trial, she will likely be voted guilty again in trial 3. Her aggression will probably only escalate as she feels herself becoming more and more cornered. And since I know many people are voting her guilty solely to make sure she doesn't hurt Shidou or other prisoners, I can only imagine what the voting will look like for her in trial 3 once she's forced to become even more aggressive to protect herself.
And tbh... I can't imagine that having a prisoner with 3 guilty verdicts will make for all that interesting of a story for them. Not that it would be boring, per se. But having variety would, in my opinion, be the most interesting and entertaining! So, if nothing else I've said has been able to sway those who vote her guilty, then think about the entertainment factor!
Please vote this severely traumatized 12 y/o girl innocent. We can give her so many secret cakes to eat.
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could i please get some of nicky and joe dancing please <3?
You certainly can, my friend! <3
I may have accidentally made it a little angsty (and they look like they're not dancing rip but I promise they are)
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Splatoon au everything is the same except pearl has a guitar
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ignore a lack of gameplay posts for a few days. i’m gonna try just playing uninterrupted without worrying about posting, editing a shitload of screenshots all at once and then maybe doing a queue? idk. but i have not abandoned my legacy lol ;)
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This is officially the spiciest thing I've ever posted 🫣
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🌹3 Roses🌹
summary:
Roses inked into the skin can be a symbol of love lost and won. Of passion and desire.
Lewis and Daniel have matching rose tattoos.
The story of Dewis from the 2017 season - situationship -> heartbreak -> getting back together
I've been obsessed with this story for a while now, I hope you enjoy.
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🌱🏛️ #femhkvthmweek2024 day 1: alhaitham’s birthday
surprise! turns out the reclusive madam scribe already had plans in mind… happy birthday, alhaitham! 🎉🎉🎉
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Okay, I have these stupid long essays in my head comparing the S2 dads with the S1 dads
Full of specific evidence and explanations and all that... What I *don’t* have is the time to write those up without destroying myself.
So instead, what I have for you here are some point-form notes full of my hot takes, predictions and senseless switching between second and third tense!
Will these make sense to anyone? Fuck I hope so, but honestly who can say. Nevertheless, I need to get these thoughts out of my head so that I can move on to other stuff. Bulk of the post below the cut, cause it’s long, but here’s a little peek at the structure/mappings:
Sparrow = Glenn
Grant = Henry
Terry Jr. = Darryl
Nicky = Ron
Got that? Okay then, let’s get into it!
Sparrow and Glenn
It’s obvious that you love your son to death, but he wants so badly to hear that you’re proud of him and you are so, so bad at offering that
“Loss of fatherhood status” as a looming threat thank you Jodie and Lark
Probably the most controversial/polarizing/scrutinized dads of their seasons?
The pen is mightier than the sword but if that doesn’t work, yeah, they will kill you
Actually the friendliest with the kids that aren’t their own/the most willing to take them seriously (no really!!!)
I think this is likely gonna be viewed as a hot take for Sparrow but… These two trust their kids and believe in their ability to make their own decisions the most!
This is partially reflected in their lax parenting styles. And yet…
Quite willing/able to step in and be protective/draw a line when required
Greatest tendency to think of things with respect to the long-term (and “play the long game” more generally), also reflected in their parenting.
Somehow resilient to the point that it’s a flaw
Something something sneaky bastards that hold their cards very close
Overall, perhaps most heavily in contrast with Henry and Grant
If Sparrow really is Glenn: It’s gonna get better, I think, but first it’s gonna get much worse. Fate will force you to finally acknowledge your trauma, and in the meantime… You’re gonna carry that weight.
Grant and Henry
The pride, love, and acceptance you have for your son(s) is endless, and we love you for that
But you’ve failed to prepare them for the real world, and they will suffer as a result
As far as you’re concerned they can be whoever they want to be… As long as they don’t end up like you!
Very keen on not making the same mistakes as their fathers
Reactive, impulsive… But means well!
Really, such big hearts… And so much self-hate
Just constantly going through it, really
The thought of your kid hating you is a deeply terrifying one, and unfortunately fate seems to have it out for you
When push comes to shove, they struggle to have faith in their sons, and tend to baby them
Tendency to second guess and overthink, but this makes them flexible, and capable of self-reflection
Probably put the most conscious effort into being a good parent and adapting to their sons’ needs
As established, polar opposite of Sparrow and Glenn
If Grant really is Henry: oh god oh fuck ohhhh god oh fuuuuck You’ll try so very hard to make sure your son still loves you but… Will you ever learn to love yourself?
Terry Jr. and Darryl
You both try really hard to give your kid the dad that you had, who you loved dearly
But… They don’t need *your* dad
Absolutely overflowing with unconditional love
Struggle to give their kids space, and a bit oblivious to this fact
(Related) They try quite hard to be there for their kid it’s just… Never quite in the way that their kid wants/needs
“Tough love” is near impossible for them
Seriously they’re such pushovers for their kids lol
Particularly protective
Probably the most well-rounded and emotionally stable, overall
Highest level of contrast with Nicky and Ron
If Terry Jr really is Darryl: The good news is, your kid actually really doesn’t hate you at all. The bad news is, it’s still gonna take you a while to figure out how to get through to them. But… You can do it!!!
Nicky and Ron
Yes, seriously, there’s something here I swear
It’s not that you don’t want to be present in your kid’s life you just… Don’t know how.
Seriously, for all intents and purposes you might as well have met your kid yesterday
And your relationship with your dad(s) is… Particularly confusing and complicated and ultimately marked by absence so… It’s not like you really have much to go off of!
Their kids? Well on the surface they couldn’t be bothered to care about having a new parental figure in their lives but… Is that even remotely true?
It’s not a question of being a perfect dad or getting it right on the first try, it’s a question of whether or not you’re willing to put in the effort and show that you actually give a shit beyond the bare minimum.
Contrast with Terry and Darryl
If Nicky really is Ron: He’ll step up!!! He’ll figure it out and find his way into his son’s life one way or another and… Probably be the best off by the end of the season tbh.
Okay that’s it that’s it thank you for entertaining my thoughts on this dear reader now I’m off to sleep!
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I don’t usually like making posts like this, but I’d appreciate prayers! There’s nothing Bad going on in my life, but the past day has been very emotionally heavy and I have a pretty important thing I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow, and I’m a bit worried that it’s gonna be too much for me to handle. So prayers would be very much appreciated, just that God can lead me through all this and give me strength <3
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