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bookofmirth · 3 years

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Hello! I’ve recently seen the argument that e/riel will happen because the acotar spinoff books are in the adult romance genre (compared to the acotar books being put in ya), and adult romance books don‘t pull a “bait and switch” with love interests the way ya/na books do. Instead, adult romance books supposedly only put effort into developing one couple and will pull through with that couple until the end.

Tbh I don’t read much adult romance - usually just ya or adult fantasy - so I’m not sure how true this is, but I thought this argument was interesting because it literally would disprove e/riel lol.

Like if you look at the entire acotar series, then Elain and Lucien were mates before there was any indication of anything between Azriel and Elain. So then it would make sense for them to be the couple that will be endgame. And Az/Elain will be resolved without a huge romantic subplot because they really don’t have serious feelings for each other, it’s just following a pattern with the way Azriel attaches to unattainable women to avoid rejection and Elain trying to avoid the problems and feelings she needs to face by latching onto the ‘safe’ option.

And even if you are only looking at acosf since it’s the only book classified as adult romance from the beginning, then Az/Gwyn have more interactions throughout the entire story than Elain/Az. Like I guarantee if someone read acosf without reading the previous books, they would think Gwynriel would happen - especially with reading how the bonus chapter ends with Az thinking of Gwyn, not Elain.

I also think it’s interesting that e/riels claim it will happen because of their development, when in fact, the reason they probably won’t is because of their complete lack of development.

Sure, Az/Elain may be a bit farther along in the sexual attraction phase, but that’s it. They’ve been stuck in this limbo for 2 or 3 books? Nothing in their dynamic has changed. At all. That’s not development. They went from being polite acquaintances to polite acquaintances with sexual attraction. There is no indication that any deeper connection between the two has formed. Maybe some romances start off that way, but that’s just not how SJM writes. Even with Nesta and Cassian, there was actual development through acomaf and acowar and acofas before they got together in acosf. Nesta and Cassian go from hating each other, to Nesta revealing one of the most traumatic events of her life to him (the attempted SA), to saving his life because she realized she didn’t want to live without him, to becoming emotionally distant again over winter solstice, etc. You can actually chart the progress of their relationship - if you did with Elain and Az, it would just be a straight horizontal line.

Elain and Lucien have actual relationship development, even if they aren’t quite as far along yet. Their dynamic has shifted - from Elain avoiding him, to seeking him out, both of them going from being wary of the other to inquiring about the other’s wellbeing, etc (I don’t remember all of the elucien moments since it’s been a while since i last read the series, but I distinctly remember noticing changes in their relationship).

Sorry this got so long! But what do you think?

Hello! Sorry this took me a few days to get to! I think I know what discussion sparked this, and I gotta say that people need to understand that genres are a suggestion, not a rule book!

First off, the adult/YA distinction is about audience, not content. There is no "YA genre" or "adult genre". There are books intended for adult readers that could be of multiple genres, and there are books intended for younger readers that could also consist of multiple genres. I read a widely across both audiences and multiple genres.

Anyone who tries to say "but in adult romance this one specific thing always happens!" Well, no. Romance is probably one of the most rule-bound genres out there right now because readers want 1) consent, and 2) a happily ever after or the implication that it is to come. However, there are people currently writing romance, and they call it romance, where even those basic conventions are played with or ignored. Sometimes reader get mad, but that doesn't mean the writer is banned from using the phrase "romance" or else they will be thrown in RWA (Romance Writers of America) jail. There are multiple tropes, character types, story lines, there could be fantasy, it could be contemporary, it could be historical. And back in the day, consent was very dubious in romance, a lot of the time. I remember sneaking my mom's books. My point is that genres change, constantly, because of the stories that writers want to tell, and the stories that readers want to read.

Now granted, I don't read much YA romance because... I'm a grown ass woman. I've outgrown it, tbh. However, I wonder if people are referring to "bait and switch" in the way that sjm changes love interests? Because I haven't seen that as a "feature" of YA romance in particular. In acotar and ToG, the love interests changed not to trick the reader or make us off balance, but to reflect how the characters were growing.

There is literally nothing about romance as a genre that says that a love interest cannot change, and even if that were one of the major tenants of the genre that people expect, writers could still say "fuck this imma do it" because... genre is a guide, not a rule.

And Az/Elain will be resolved without a huge romantic subplot because they really don’t have serious feelings for each other, it’s just following a pattern with the way Azriel attaches to unattainable women to avoid rejection and Elain trying to avoid the problems and feelings she needs to face by latching onto the ‘safe’ option.

THIS.

They went from being polite acquaintances to polite acquaintances with sexual attraction.

AND THIS OMG

You can actually chart the progress of their relationship - if you did with Elain and Az, it would just be a straight horizontal line.

lmaooooo omg I love you

I agree with all of this. I also agree that it would work against the people who originated this argument to say "this ship has existed longer and so that's why people expect it or it should happen, because X genre says so".

1) This is not strictly romance, it's fantasy romance

2) Elucien were mates and a ship in the fandom months before e*riel were so this argument does seem self-defeating

3) There are zero rules that prevent sjm from fucking around with e*riel and then finding out they are poorly suited

4) Even if this were a regular ol' romance, there is no reason why a character can't have multiple partners so long as the HEA is still there or implied, if we're all gonna get up our butts about following romance conventions

5) Adult romance standalones do typically focus on one couple. However, that is not a guarantee. See: genre as a guide. I can think of multiple off the top of my head where an MC is in a relationship with someone else at the beginning of the book, or where the ex is a very recent, not quite dealt-with factor. acotar - I can't believe I have to write this - is not a standalone. Even if this spin-off series is described as following separate couples, it is a series, and the plot and character development don't just sprout out of nowhere in book five or six.

6) Genre theory is a thing, people can look it up! I am tired of typing haha

#acotar #antielriel #elucien #nessian #ask #anon #genre

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spockandawe · 3 years

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Shen Jiu/Tianlang-jun

Or, I came here for the dunking on binghe vibe, lingered for the aesthetic, and then tripped accidentally into an au that’s actually really compelling me hard that I want to figure out more

(yes it’s the 2k thing that hit me out of nowhere, but i wrote that out and it didn’t scratch the itch, so here we are)

(I always use so many words, let’s just have a cut now)

My general premise as, theoretically, an author: This is set in the canonverse timeline, after Luo Binghe merges the demon realm and human realm. Probably not long after, because things are still VERY much in confusion, both societies are still reeling, unrest is rampant, and Luo Binghe is only just just just starting to figure out that no, he still doesn’t feel very fulfilled. Turning two realms upside down gives Zhuzhi-lang an opportunity to finally get his hands on a dew flower seed to grow a body for Tianlang-jun (he is a patient boy). Shen Jiu is still alive, though honestly, I don’t know how much Luo Binghe bothers keeping him conscious anymore, and there’s my stage.

What I arrived here from was thinking about how I characterized Tianlang-jun for my Shen Yuan/Tianlang-jun fic, and how I’m really leaning into his romantic nature and fond, un-pushy approach to relationships. When I thought about writing those two characters dunking on a stallion novel together, I was like ‘oh noooo, he would have been so disappointed in bingge’ (which adds to an already emotionally complicated situation, what with him having a son at all) and then I was like ‘haha, being disappointed in bingge, something for him and shen jiu to bond over’

And then I was like ‘wait, but seriously--’

So, I keep seeing those shipping memes going around where people describe their favorite dynamics, and I probably won’t ever draw one myself, but a shipping vibe I love is a character in a lonely downward spiral being pulled out of the disaster zone and emotionally reattached to the world. That’s what I’m writing in the sy/tlj, honestly. A vibe I love even more, but which is even rarer, is when two characters are in those downward spirals, and latch onto each other in an intense, codependent, unhealthy way.... and somehow manage to salvage something beautiful from the situation.

Anyways, Shen Jiu and Tianlang-jun.

When I was trying to figure out how to ship them, one of the first questions when I’m sussing out an unusual pair without other fanworks is: Why do they care about each other? And the more I thought about them, the more I realized that they’re each really, really strongly in the mold of the other one’s Favorite Person, who they’d since lost. Shen Jiu is a cold, aloof, untouchable, beautiful person. Tianlang-jun is a quieter person, very pleasant, but terrifyingly strong in some ways, and soft and ruthless at unexpected times. But neither one is exactly a replacement goldfish, which is good, because losing their favorite person was pretty traumatic for them in different ways. Shen Jiu plays more mean than Su Xiyan did, and Tianlang-jun is more eccentric and romantic than Yue Qingyuan was.

Logistically, the idea that Tianlang-jun hates his son made it easy for me to bring the two of them together. In this universe especially, Tianlang-jun feels a lot of scorn towards Luo Binghe, but Luo Binghe is still very strong. He doesn’t have much in the way of weaknesses, and I think even super-traumatized, super-bitter Tianlang-jun would turn up his nose at the idea of attacking Luo Binghe through his wives. But stealing away Shen Jiu, that’s a person who Luo Binghe is almost as ““close”” to as he is to the harem, this is a person with pretty significant knowledge of Luo Binghe’s childhood, and it’s a powerful person with a major reason to hold a grudge against Luo Binghe himself.

(I don’t think Tianlang-jun has much of a plan, necessarily, when he kidnaps Shen Jiu, the same way he didn’t have much of a plan when he was aiming to merge the worlds together. Like, yes, there’s this big goal, but why? and then what? I’m not going to go off on a digression about this, but I think it is very much a shitty, shitty plan, and that Shen Jiu is not going to be stoked once he figures out he was kidnapped from Luo Binghe because *shrug?*)

So what I want. Emotionally. Is where the two of them do kind of latch onto each other in a replacement goldfish sort of way, but where that kind of closeness really pulls them into sync in a way where they end up attached WAY more strongly than they ever intended to begin with. And also, both of them are dealing with some weird dysphoric feelings (one with four new prosthetic limbs, one with a decaying body) and are trying to power through them by using their bodies as a tool they use, not as residences they inhabit. And I think that Shen Jiu in particular is leaning into his time in the Qiu household in a bad way, and using himself as an incentive to try to nudge Tianlang-jun into doing things he wants. Love me some dysfunction like that, especially if people start having Regrets and/or Feelings later.

I think.... part of the reason I cut off my fic where I did was that Shen Jiu getting his tongue back is going to really, really, really start reshaping their dynamic. In the fic, Tianlang-jun is reading things into his deliberately-vague gestures that aren’t necessarily there, or just seeing what entertains him to see, but with a voice? Shen Jiu is a man with opinions, and he’s so, so, so completely out of fucks to give. When they start engaging with each other for real, they have to start recognizing each other as people, and not as proxyfucking substitutes for Su Xiyan and Yue Qingyuan.

Now, why I didn’t write that whole fic from the beginning is because it’s almost gotta be plot-intensive. Luo Binghe is not going to be happy that Shen Jiu is gone, he’s going to be very interested in getting him back, and if he gets his hands on him, it’s going to be... ugly. Shen Jiu is aware of that, and makes Tianlang-jun aware of that, but Luo Binghe is so hilariously overpowered that it’s going to be HARD to keep them both out of Luo Binghe’s hands without just making them quiet hermits in some corner of the world. And they can’t be quiet hermits, because otherwise Tianlang-jun would never have stolen Shen Jiu in the first place :P

I am still really, really, really tempted to write it, because like, just imagine Luo Binghe coming for Shen Jiu in his dreams, and all that trauma crashing back into him, and Luo Binghe digging into every old emotional wound, and Shen Jiu trying to cope. And if dream abilities run in the blood, then Tianlang-jun isn’t completely useless either, and I do very much like the idea that protagonist or not, Tianlang-jun is capable of going toe to toe with his son. The picture of them fighting a battle across Shen Jiu’s dreamscape is just... *chef kiss*

(especially because if luo binghe gets into shen jiu’s head, he’ll totally use yue qingyuan against him, and if tianlang-jun gets involved, he’ll use su xiyan against luo binghe, and luo binghe will probably try to use her against him, and shen jiu is perfectly happy to try to make binghe hurt over how binghe’s dad chose him instead of binghe, and it will be so, so ugly all around)

The trouble with this would be knowing where it was heading :P The quiet hermit ending wouldn’t be a bad fit for what I want for the characters at all, but it would be hard to achieve with Luo Binghe still alive, and I still don’t know if I want him dead, or how I would even make that happen.

But what I do want, even if it only takes shape in one-shots of scattered scenes, is two exhausted, traumatized characters curling up into each other, without any emotions, no emotions involved, definitely not, and accidentally getting super entangled in each other’s hearts. The kind of relationship with a lot of intensity and need and passion, and virtually no healthy coping mechanisms to be seen. I want ‘Separation Anxiety: The Musical.’ I want Shen Jiu with angry clinging, and extra anger if anyone mentions the clinging. I want Tianlang-jun deflecting and deflecting away from his past and his emotions. And part of the reason I’m not sure if I want Binghe dead, is that I want to see if I can get them to a point where one or both of them has a choice between hurting Binghe or helping their partner, and they choose their partner instead.

#tianlang jun #svsss #shen jiu #tianlang jun x shen jiu #shen jiu x tianlang jun #long post/#okay i am tired now #hopefully i can actually translate that into. you know. sleep.#those are the days that bind us #tianjiu

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conservativetradlife · 3 years

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Hi! I’m a feminist who would like to dedicate her life to intellectual/spiritual/humanitarian pursuits (think St. Hildegarde, haha) as opposed to a domestic calling, but enjoy your content nonetheless. I hate the amount of people (many of whom are men) who use the “trad” label and quote Ephesians ... all while posting internet porn, or say disgusting things like “women’s holes are for *insert disgusting porn-addled comment here*”

I had written out a long response to this a few days ago, but pressed a bookmark when I was pulling up a tab and lost everything I had written. I was frustrated and decided to take care of this ask at a later point, and today feels like an appropriate day to do so, due to what I am seeing on my Dashboard today. Some of my points will be controversial. I get that, but please be respectful in answering, arguing or messaging me about my points.

Firstly, I want to encourage your choice of lifestyle and life goals. If your general pursuits for life, if its something you are truly passionate about (not simply attempting to personify a Saint while forgetting your own interests and desires outside of your perceptions of St Hildegarde) then all the more power to you. I think its a noble pursuit and the world is better off with more focus being directed towards Spiritual and Humanitarian activities. I will keep you in my prayers :)

I like to believe that my content is less centered around the ideals of domesticity and more towards intentional living. I started this blog wanting to idealize the Homemakers of the 50′s, and I have slowly began to realize what Traditionalism means to me and what kind of content I wish to put out into the world. I am idealizing my own life and hoping that those who share a similar vision for their futures (even if its without children or marriage) find comfort in my content.

Now, when it comes to the sexualization of the Traditional lifestyle (or at least, what some people believe to be traditionalism) I want to say very briefly that I understand what ‘kink’ is to people, but I also know what BDSM is supposed to be and the general servitude of women to their ‘Dominant’ halves is the only thing that rings even slightly familiar with what BDSM actually is and stands for.

To me, the sexualization of the Trad Women (someone who wishes to take up the classic ‘cultural norm’ of being the homemaker and Mother. Someone who relies on their husband as the prime breadwinner and finds self worth in their role in the home as Mother, Wife and Homemaker) is a sad example of where we as a culture have degenerated to. To know that men are craving a woman who WANTS to be wife and mother, who WANTS to be a stay at home woman and feels fulfilled by these pursuits, rather than what modern media has exposed as desirable. Women who are in media, exposing themselves, using their sexuality as their confidence and their general demeanor being viewed as crass and unattractive, in comparison to the modestly dressed religious wife, who stays home and bakes cookies and is waiting at the door when they get home.

When in history have we, as a society been so over-sexed?

When has pornographic content and sexually motivated news been so easily accessible? It is literally at our fingertips (via our cellphones, or simply looking at our various socials.) Its no wonder that someone would find sexual pleasure in the counterculture of someone who is the visual polar opposite of what they are blasted with daily. Someone who keeps their sexuality exclusive, who is honorably modest to themselves and to God, but most importantly, keeps what is meant to be sacred between a husband and wife (or between partners) private and sacred. It says a lot about our culture when that becomes the case.

Unfortunately, I find the vast majority of people who sexualize the lifestyle of a Traditional Women, are suffering from what my husband calls ‘Porn Brain.’

We feel as though we have to justify the fact we are attracted to modesty and Traditionalism, by throwing in scenarios that can be sexualized. One cannot simply enjoy what is, without having cherries on top (i.e attaching the sexual aspect to child rearing, preparing dinner, caring for ones husband.)

CARE to some people is defined in specific ways instead of a broad manner. I want to believe that some of the women in this sub-culture realize that to have a family, one needs to engage sexually with their husband if they wish to naturally conceive their children. Without medical intervention, or specific methods of delivery (to be crass, haha 😛) having sex with your partner (one who has testicles, sperm and a penis - to be 100% clear) to their partners ejaculation into their partners vagina (one who has a vagina, menstrual and ovulation cycle, uterus, fallopian tubes and egg laden ovaries) is the method with which one can conceive children. I don’t think that needs to be explained in the grand scheme, however, I feel as though a lot of Traditional women forget that this (if they wish to be mothers to children they have carried in their wombs, and birthed into the world) is a natural, important part of the process to becoming a Mother.

I can already hear the masses arguing that you don’t need to have sex to have children. That some people can’t have children (either by their own choice, or because of trauma or physical incapability) and they choose to adopt children, or go through IVF which doesn’t involve sex. Yes, thankyou. I don’t need to be reminded of this fact. What I am trying to express is that Sex is a natural part of a marriage (and there is nothing wrong with that, neither is not having sex for one reason or another. Every marriage is unique and the business of those who are married, not the scrutiny of those around them.) I want to believe that if someone is going to marry their partner, they are comfortable enough to have sex with them. If a pair want to have children the ‘natural’ way, then I assume they go into the marriage understanding that to do so, they need to have sex.

HOWEVER!! SEX IS NOT THE RELATIONSHIP. Sex is not (and should not) be the focus of a marriage between two people.

When people fetishize Traditionalism, I find that sex is the main factor that comes with it. They have some of the points that come with what encompasses Traditionalism to some people, but their focus isn’t on what makes a marriage work for both, rather simply looking at the sexual aspect, which is one point of what is part of marriage. It isn’t about the whole, but rather about the woman giving her body over to her husband for sex. It isn’t about the conceiving of children, but rather about mindless self indulgence. To preach religion while one does this, is bastardizing what the unions (both sex and marriage) are meant for.

Linking BDSM terminology with the fetishization, by boiling down the gender roles that come with Traditionalism (the woman is submissive to her husband in trusting that he can care for - financially, emotionally etc) into simply ‘Domination and Submission’ isn’t Traditional. There are equal parts expectation in the Traditional lifestyle, but also in the D/s relationship. The Dominant figurehead of a relationship (in both dynamics) is not simply the one who receives pleasure, while the submissive rolls over to their every whim. To simply view the submissive (usually female) in this role, is grossly oversimplifying a complex relationship between both roles. Just with how a Wife partakes in her role, the submissive does so as well. The Dominant doesn’t just DO what they want without thought of what the submissive wants, just as the husband doesn’t just DO what he wants without thinking of his wife, and that’s where I find problems with how Trads view BDSM, and how fetishists view Traditionalism. Equality is important for both roles, both partners have a say, BOTH partners can consent or decline things they don’t want, sexually or otherwise. If that equality doesn’t exist in either dynamic, then it isn’t a good marriage, nor a good D/s dynamic.

At the end of the day, sex is meant to be between two consenting partners. I believe that sex exists for a purpose and we as a society have been so exposed to it that looking back on relationships when it was sacred and still HAD purpose is incredibly alluring. In the hookup culture world we live in, sex is a commodity, and birth control exists so that the purpose of sex is forgotten. Men who fetishize Traditional Women aren’t looking at Traditionalism as a whole and what it means to be traditional. Its simply over sexed porn brain telling them that ‘once I have a wife, we’ll have sex all the time and she’ll take care of me. She’ll be sexy only for me and want sex with only me, while taking on the homemaker roles.’

These people aren’t looking for an equal partner. They are looking for a mother that they can have sex with. Someone that will take care of them, selflessly because they actively WANT to do so, with zero understanding that they themselves have things they want and need to make this an equal partnership.

I’m not going to get into the generalities of BDSM couples (nor how some traditionalists have a BDSM relationship ongoing beside their roles as husband and wife.) I will say that people who are in these relationships, aren’t in it simply for their own pleasure. There is nothing wrong with unconventional (kinky) sex between two consenting adults. What goes on in the bedroom of two people isn’t anyone’s business. Whether you like vanilla sex or whips and chains, its not anyone’s business but the people who are having sex. BDSM is not what’s wrong with these fetishists. Selfishness is what is wrong with these people, who think that having a traditional woman means their sexual needs will be met along with their household and human needs, while they themselves can do nothing.

Now, before I get jumped with another possible argument, about preference, let me quickly say that there is nothing wrong with having preferences in a partner. Some people like maternal women, women who love God, women who prefer to dress modestly, women who are Traditional. However, there is more to a woman that simply being Traditional. My husband loves me for more than just my goals of being a mother and homemaker. He also loves that I can sing, that I do funny dances when I eat good food. That I read books before bed or all varieties and have a dark sense of humor. He’s under no illusion that I am a perfect Trad all the time. Sometimes I want to watch True Crime documentaries instead of doing the dishes and he’ll bring home a frozen pizza for dinner.

Some people might be wholly dedicated to being Traditional and that can be appealing to people, there isn’t nothing wrong with dedicating your life to something you are passionate about, be that, as you (for example) said, intellectual/spiritual/humanitarian pursuits or otherwise. To do so can be a preference they have, but if that is ALL one thinks encompasses a person or partner and they can’t have interests or things they do otherwise, you find a problem. I am more than just a Tradwife and Mother. So are others.

This has turned into a very long winded explanation to a simple question, and I apologize for going heavily into depth about this. Simply put (or TL;DR) fetishizing Traditionalism isn’t right. There is a purpose for sex and forgetting that is only showing what is wrong with our modern ‘porn brain’ addled society. Linking BDSM to fetishists isn’t right either, because there is a difference between a D/s dynamic and someone who is looking for a doormat.

Preferring a partner who is Trad and nothing else diminishes a person into basic traits that dehumanizes them into an object that serves ones own selfish needs (”my partner will keep house, have sex with me and be happy because they want to. They’re supposed to be Trad. I’m the man of the house and they cater only to me.”) Woman are more than Trad and more than a sex object. People who forget that aren’t worth the time or energy to engage with and should be blocked on principle so not to circulate false truths about BDSM or Traditionalism. It gives a bad name to both of these kinds of lifestyles.

Thankyou for being patient with me in answering this, if you want to discuss this in depth, my messages are open and I’m more than happy to explain further if there are any questions or counter-arguments to any of the above.

God Bless and I’ll Keep You in My Prayers 💕

#personal #answers #traditional #trad

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squidproquoclarice · 3 years

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Can you talk more about Demisexuality and Arthur in Sunrise? Am I right in saying Sadie is too? I’m not fully aware of what the term means but curious about it :)

OK, so for clarity: demisexuality is under the asexuality umbrella. It’s when you don’t feel sexual attraction except after a strong emotional bond (and even then it’s a maybe). I hear a lot of “Wanting to sleep with people you care about is just ‘normal’, it’s nothing special,” and that’s not really right. The difference between being demi and being allosexual but preferring emotionally bonded sex is that demis, like other asexuals, really don’t experience sexual attraction based on looks. In other words, they don’t ever look at someone and just realize, “God, I’d take them home in a minute, they make me horny.” Not to say they can’t appreciate a good looking person, but it’s like appreciating good looks in someone who isn’t your type. It’s aesthetic, not sexual. But they can (no guarantee, however) possibly develop that attraction for someone after getting emotionally close to them. That’s what’s called secondary sexual attraction. Let’s be clear--demis and other aces can have a sex drive/libido. They can masturbate. They can have sex, and enjoy sex. They can also do none of those things, and that’s valid too. But sexual attraction =/= sex drive. Aspec is more about not having a person or people there with whom you want to use libido. Here’s a quick, simplified comparison: “I’m hungry, and what I really want is a donut” (allo preferring emotionally bonded sex) and “I’m not hungry at all (ace) and “I wasn’t hungry at all, then I saw that donut and now I want it, but that’s the only thing that sounds good (demi)”. (NB: Any and all errors in explaining any of this are my own.) Turning to the Sunrise portion: I do write Arthur as very clearly demisexual, and I do see Sadie as being likely in that direction as well. Arthur, in contrast to numerous other men in the gang who show sexual interest even in more limited NPC roles (Charles, Javier, John, Sean, Micah, and Dutch for sure, others seem implied), shows pretty much zero interest all the hours we spend with him, despite ready and easy opportunities. I do think guilt over Eliza plays into it, yes, and there’s probably some element of self-punishment in the idea that he’s seemingly given up on romance, sex, and his dreams of being a husband and father. But that doesn’t feel like the only reason. There’s not really the tension of a man who’s chosen to be celibate but still has to fight against attraction and ready opportunities. The only clear craving we get from him is a very strong need for emotional attachment, for love. That really seems to point more to him absolutely needing, rather than preferring, that kind of intimacy first. Sleeping with Eliza certainly happened given Isaac, and the fact they almost definitely weren’t romantically involved doesn’t disprove Arthur as aspec. It could have been a youthful attempt to conform to the expected image of “manliness” by sleeping with her. It could have been, like I wrote, a very drunken night where he was pining for Mary after their break-up. For Sadie, her deep attachment to Jake is clear and emphatic. “We was always sweet on one another,” etc. From how practical and earthy she is, it’s not hard to argue she and Jake probably had a very fulfilling sex life. Yes, her grief definitely plays into that attachment. But that depth of feeling and fidelity to him, and how loyalty to those she loves is stressed as much in her char bio as Arthur’s, it also makes it easy to imagine her being demi herself, that she needs that partnership and intimacy to even be interested. Even in the Epilogue years later, we see no signs of her being interested in sex. Given as generally cool and distant as she is and how we see a fairly firm control of her impulses compared to 1899, she’d probably be capable of casual sex if she was interested at all. She’s living an unusual life where she’s living by masculine standards rather than feminine restriction, so I highly doubt she’d feel bound as a woman by the gendered double standard of chastity and refrain for that reason. She could easily argue that it’s not betraying Jake using the old argument that it’s not meaningful, it’s not making love, it’s just scratching an itch. But we don’t get that at all from her either. Again, like with Arthur, that implied tension of denial isn’t there. So you end up with these two bi demi dramatic disasters who do the “Haha, yeah we’re saying we’re so married so we can stay together here in a strange place” thing for a long time and keep getting closer and closer as they think admiringly about how much they depend upon and love each other as friends, and pretty much everyone around them believes they’re married because of that love. But again, zero sexual or romantic tension. They can share a room. They can touch and hug. They can talk jokingly without it being flirting. And to be clear, in different circumstances, they could very easily have continued like that for life and been queerplatonic partners, and been happy. I don’t buy the “beyond a certain depth of feeling it has to turn romantic” idea. Romantic love isn’t better or deeper or more “mature” than platonic. It’s just a different shading. But as demis, then you hit the point for both of them where that romantic and sexual attraction did happen to switch on. It’s not obliviousness to existing feelings and slowly overcoming that and realizing they’ve actually felt like that for a while. It’s more of a full-stop oh shit moment where something exists abruptly that didn’t before. They realize that they love this person in an additional way, and that the very comfortable enjoyment from being near them now suddenly has this facet of longing and excitement too. Hits harder too for that feeling towards someone being so rare in both of their lives. (And being the blessed idiots they are, panic ensues.)

#arthur morgan #sadie adler #rdr2 #sunrise ama #writing #fic from the parking lot #may the sunrise #aspec characters #demisexual #Anonymous

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mysticalmusicwhispers · 3 years

Note

HELLO sorry i had an extremely busy past week so i left this to stew for weeks T_T (my term break was Not a term break in any sense of the word. f)

OH OF COURSE SHE HAS A BLACKLIST.... vietnam keeping a list of students who are Brats is really so valid.. i'm willing to bet that in future when that dubious list of students grows up many of them will go on to commit morally dubious acts lmaoo including yao himself. and if they get arrested or if rumors spread she'll just be like "lol called it"

Also yes go get her friendship Aditya hopefully it will mellow you out a little as well - YEAHH their personalities are like. polar opposites tbh because he's Dramatic And Extroverted and she's very much Not... but for some reason i can just see them really bonding (over things like coffee if i had to make a guess though i haven't really thought about these two in depth.. )

“Admissions officers think Yao’s amazing and contributes greatly to the classroom environment and Vietnam is like “yeah, in a way, as long as you don’t mind someone who thinks every word you say is somehow wrong and will fight you to prove it lol. just take him, I’m trying to get rid of him”

JUST TAKE HIM I'M TRYING TO GET RID OF HIM THIS IS SO FUNNY WTF also aww baby yao's Going Places!! he comes back for like teacher's day or something and vietnam is like "okay so how many of your teachers and your classmates have you antagonised" and yao's like "my teachers love me and my classmates fear me. or they're begging me to help with their homework. or they're potential friends/accomplices >:)" and vietnam is like ugh love to see that you're terrible as usual

Since there’s essays involved I’m assuming she teaches either history or literature? Kinda on the fence because I feel like she’d be good at giving a no-nonsense version of history filled with interesting details and prompts that make you think (and also hosts monthly debates on controversial issues), but I also want Yao to be as un-confident as possible in his abilities in her class, and I feel like he would be less comfortable/sure of his answers and thoughts in a lit class than a history one. I’m not sure though

honestly i would really want her to teach lit so bad but history would be so cool too.. as someone who suffered through lit for the first month of school (though i think i'm getting the hang of it now :D) i also want yao to suffer through the feelings of inadequacy when the teacher gives an evaluation that is COMPLETELY different from yours while also awkwardly trying to tell you your evaluation is wrong without crushing your ~passion for learning~ or something... but at the same time vietnam has such strong history vibes??? and they would probably clash over like different methods of historiography and methods for interpreting sources BUT historiography isn't really taught in-depth here at high scholl level ... And at the same time lit is the best place for one to feel Insecure so i really don't know because vietnam has such History/art vibes.. i think you should decide this i have no idea 😔

Context

“she'll just be like "lol called it"” that’s such a mood honestly, watching your former bratty students grow up to be bratty adults 😅 At least Vietnam’s predictions for the future are vindicated and she gets self satisfaction from it lol. (maybe she sends emails to them sometimes like ‘are you aware that people think you committed tax fraud’ and the reply is just a simple ‘yes. sincerely, Yao’ lmao)

ooh yeah I think they’d be interesting; definitely agree with what you said about India being really flamboyant and Vietnam being more honest/down to earth and definitely someone who hates when people put on airs (which Aditya does to a fairly large extent...). I think she’d like him just a tad more because he isn’t super condescending and gets along with his classmates pretty well; she knows he’s trying to impress her (lollolll they’re all trying to get teacher points for recommendations) but at least he’s friendly and participates in class and stuff. Also I think India’s good at small talk, makes an effort in getting to know people, and is very emotionally in tune with other’s feelings (even if he’s a bit stupid/oblivious sometimes) so even if Vietnam is kinda closed off to him at first (she’s nicer to him than Yao though, that’s for sure) he can get along with her quickly by picking up on what she likes talking about and accommodating her interests. Yao could theoretically be charming like Aditya but he just doesn’t make an effort lol. YES to bonding over coffee, especially raging about how Starbucks is Inferior™™™™ (idk if Aditya would drink coffee but I think Vietnam brews her own Vietnamese iced coffee at home and bring it to class because she needs Fortification for putting up with Indchuran lol.) However, I also want to see her popping his bubble and whenever he’s exaggerating one of his accomplishments, Vietnam just shuts him right down. “No, he actually didn’t go all out; I’ve had students turn in whole ass dioramas for that project so your meager offerings are nothing special :}” (Vietnam has the pleasure of crushing each of their egos in turn hehehe)

Yao came back to visit her!!! Looks like someone caught feelings (platonically ofc) :) She sees right through his excuses for coming back and is like “haha bastard you got sentimental and Attached to me >:)”, but then Yao proceeds to remind her exactly why that’s a bad thing lmao (also... what if... we smashed this au and bros for life together.... and Vietnam is the first person to see that they’re hopelessly pining on one of their visits to see her..........and she calls them out on it....o-o)

“"my teachers love me and my classmates fear me. or they're begging me to help with their homework. or they're potential friends/accomplices >:)"” LOVE TO SEE YOU’RE TERRIBLE AS USUAL ALDSjSDLSD Yao dashed my hopes of him becoming somewhat of a model member of society but seeing him as an unchanging bastard is still quite alright. Headcanon that Yao really hates helping with homework though, because he’s like “WHY DON’T YOU GET THIS” after about 5 seconds of trying to explain something. Pity, he would be good at teaching if only he had the patience for it :} Also I propose that he really hates that teaching isn’t enjoyable for him because it would be great blackmail material (i.e. “if you do this to me I’ll stop giving you the answers to the problem sets *winks in a threatening manner*”)

SAME literature is the one class that makes you thoroughly question your comprehension and understanding of everything in life everything ever written, but HISTORY. she would be such a fun history teacher and I can see her having her students really dig into events for themselves and make their own evaluations of why things happened and who’s “right”. YES THEM CLASHING OVER HISTORIOGRAPHY hmm... maybe we could get around historiography not being covered much by having Yao be Extra™? For example, maybe one day Vietnam offhandedly mentions there’s a lot of interpretations around x period (and whether it was a success or failure) depending on which type of historiography you subscribe to; Yao, who was already feeling strongly on the subject, does some research (“what is historiography” “interpretations of x” *rabbit hole of articles ensues*) and then goes to class the next day armed with 10 sources and a full on debate about the subject ensues, resulting in him being late to lunch by half an hour.

What about a compromise, where Yao has a ferocious literature teacher (who??? idk) but Vietnam is teaching history, and when he gets comfortable in her class he starts complaining about the lit teacher and she thinks oh finally, a teacher that he’s intimidated by. I am at peace now. 😌.

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cordonian-literature · 3 years

Text

wip wednesday :)

hi y’all so i wasn’t tagged (whoops broke the rules) and it’s still kinda early in the day but i wanted to make this post because i’ve been working on a few other fics and wanted to share :)

i’ve been finishing up Aftermath - the reason it’s taking me so long to post chapters is because i initially had a very sad ending planned. i weeped when i was rereading it because i’ve gotten emotionally attached to the characters (what a surprise) and am now rewriting a happier ending. i think there’s like... 3 chapters left (don’t quote me on that, i’m a mess and it could change, but its unlikely).

there’s also two other fic ideas that i had. the first one kinda throws canon out the window - but there are still some elements, like Bertrand and Savannah’s relationship (though it’s extremely altered), the assassination with Olivia’s parents, Godfrey & Barthelemy’s treason... it’s just changed, like Queen Eleanor’s story is different, Leo doesn’t abdicate, Liam and Drake never really became best friends, and MC (Klara/Claire Brooks) leads a double life, keeping both men (and families) away from each other

the second one throws TRH 3 in the trash (even though it already is kinda trash, haha). this would take place during the last chapter of TRH 2 and throw the whole vote stuff out the window - because the farther we go with that, the less it makes sense. basically, Auvernal kidnaps the heir, Barthelemy is involved in it, and Liam and MC (i’m keeping her as Riley Brooks for this one) along with the gang do everything they can to get her back (obviously why wouldn’t they). i thought it would be interesting putting a part of it in the heir’s point of view, since those were kinda funny in some of the recent chapters. nothing too dark or serious (i mean yeah the heir getting kidnapped is serious, but you know what i mean. besides that, there are no major trigger warnings)

both these fics will most likely flop, but i had fun with these ideas and wanted to share

so here we go

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The Aftermath - Chapter 32

When Bastien enters, his eyes widen as they rest on Boris. He gives Olivia a look.

“Drake,” she tells him, hoping that would be enough of an answer. Bastien frowns. Olivia didn’t know why Drake had done this either. The fool hadn’t given her any information as to what this man had done. Where was she even supposed to start?

Now she was really wishing she had called Jacob to give her a background check.

“So,” she begins, pacing in front of Boris. Bastien was at full attention, closely watching both of them. “What happened between you and Drake?”

Boris spits blood to the opposite side of the room. It drips down the wall. “Call the bastard in here. Tell him to explain.” His accent is thick and his voice is tried.

I probably should, she thinks to herself.

Bastien gives Olivia another look. She nods at him.

“Let us shift the conversation,” Bastien begins. “Can I ask how long you’ve known Lady Riley or her late husband?”

“How is that important?” Boris questions.

“Just curious.” Bastien’s voice remains level.

Boris sighs, then leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. “Potter. I met him in college. He introduced me to Riley-”

“I’m sorry,” Bastien interrupts him. “Who is ‘Potter’?”

“The lovely Theodore Blaise.” Boris lets out a rueful chuckle. “You have not seen him in person? The idiot looks like Harry Potter. Stupid glasses, stupid hair.”

“Alright,” Bastien stops him again. “Continue. When did he introduce you to Riley?”

“New York. That one year. I was visiting before I had to go to... Switzerland? Sweden? One of the two. It was lifetime ago. Can’t remember everything.” He pauses to look around the room. “She was... with your King. We saw her in the park. Theo wanted to see her. We waited for the king to leave her before he went up to her hotel.”

Olivia knew that he was talking about the last night Riley had been with the court. But Boris was drawing out the conversation. She didn’t like how slow Bastien was approaching this. Olivia wanted to draw a knife — she had a new one she was itching to use — and force the answers out of him.

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Until the End - Prologue

A/N: also i made a thing for this series. it’s not a moodboard. idk what its called. like a banner or whatever? i felt creative and made it. i’ll probably end up making a moodboard too. there are three parts of the series, each part has seven/eight chapters. anyway this looks kinda wack i might not even use it

As we near the stairs, Olivia Nevrakis chases after Maxwell Beaumont, who tumbles down the steps.

“Why are you running?!” Olivia cries after the boy, a long object in her hand.

“Because you have a stick!” he cries after almost tripping over his short, chubby legs.

“What am I gonna do, hit you with it?”

“YES?!” Maxwell screams, a confused and fearful tone in his voice.

As the two reach the bottom of the stairs, Liam emerges from another corridor, laughing after his friends. His hair is a whorl on his head, and his cheeks are flushed pink.

“Hello, Mother!” he says. My son hugs my waist, then reaches to hug his father, but Constantine has already walked on.

I take the boy’s hand and we follow after the King. Near the entrance of the palace stands a man in guard’s uniform, a woman in a denim dress, and two small children.

“Eleanor, Liam,” Constantine begins. “I would like for you two to be introduced to a new member of our security team. Jackson Walker, his wife Bianca, and their children, Drake and Savannah.”

“A pleasure, Your Majesties,” Jackson says as he and his wife bow respectfully. The little girl blinks up at me while Drake looks between Liam and I.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Liam!” My son holds out his hand to Drake.

Constantine audibly coughs. Liam’s hand falls to his side, and his smile falls as well. I knew that the differences in status would not allow Liam to interact with the boy so improperly, but they are just children. I didn’t think there was a reason for such excessive formality.

Bianca slightly nudges her son. In a monotone voice, Drake greets, “Nice to meet you, Prince Liam.”

Liam’s expression lifts. I send a smile in Bianca’s direction, and she hesitantly returns it. Jackson holds eye contact with me a moment longer, a wide grin stretching his face.

Constantine grabs our attention again. “Jackson, you will be primarily working on my wife’s security team. Now if you’ll excuse us, we are expected at dinner. My head of security, Bastien, will lead you through the rest of your orientation. After dinner, you’ll be able to speak to my wife and receive any orders she has for you.”

“Yes, Sire,” Jackson bows his head again, and Constantine leads us away.

Godfrey and his family, along with the Beaumonts, Olivia, and Leo are already seated. They all stand quickly as Constantine comes into the room, giving polite bows.

The moment we sit, there’s a flurry of activity as the servants set our plates in front of us. Adelaide sips on her wine absently. Annabelle fusses over Maxwell, who has cookie crumbs on his fingers and face. Madeleine attempts to get Leo’s attention, but he laughs with Bertrand, the boys giving each other impish smiles. Olivia converses with Liam, taking on a gentle demeanor compared to how she behaved with Maxwell.

“Hostilities between Monterisso and Auvernal are increasing by the day,” I hear Godfrey mention to Constantine.

“The whole of Europe expects them to break out in war,” Barthelemy adds.

“Monterissian and Auvernese citizens anticipate some sort of peace treaty,” Godfrey continues. The men speak as if they are one unit, with one mind. “But other nations have already begun taking sides.”

“The King of Hidar is siding with Monterisso.” Barthelemy motions for a servant to bring him more wine. “But there are rumors that he is only doing so after receiving threats.”

“Most nations are waiting for Cordonia and Monaco for their decisions for who to ally with.”

When Barthelemy and Godfrey finish filling Constantine’s ears, they return to the food on their plates, staring down as if nothing else in the world concerned them. Constantine chews slowly, visibly considering their words.

“Monterisso has always kept a neutral face when it comes to Cordonian issues,” the King mentions. “They have never asked or hinted towards alliance. They are not many nations who ally with them at all.”

“So you must admit,” Barthelemy finishes chewing, “that allying with them instead of Auvernal makes a bad impression—”

“—and reduces the chance of alliances with other nations,” Godfrey finishes with him.

“How so?” I speak up. The three men turn their heads to look at me. No one else at the table pays attention to the conversation, but as their eyes burn in my direction — aggressive looks from the Dukes, while my husband raises an eyebrow at me — I want to take back my words.

But I do no such thing. After more than seven years of marriage, I had become accustomed to Godfrey and Barthelmey shutting down the advice I gave to my husband. This instance is no different.

✦✧✦✧✦

The Lion and the Heir - short series - Prologue

A/N: just as a heads up, i laughed while writing this. like i wrote this just for a good laugh and wanted to share. my friend sent me a writing prompt about a kid’s wild imagination and she thought it was funny and sent it to me (i sent her this same passage and we both laughed our heads off reading parts of it) so what i’m trying to say is that thinking this is terrible and cringe-worthy is understandable - i cringed at this myself and am very scared to post this lol, and might not even continue it. yes i made a moodboard thing. yes i laughed while making it. goodbye.

"Is everything well, Mommy?" I ask. Instead of answering me, again she attempts to silence me! I repeat my question, but this time the man tells me to silent myself.

Did they not know who they were speaking to? Perhaps I was interrupting something. Was there a lesson to be learned somewhere in this? I wish that Daddy were present at this meeting. Though most of his explanations were gibberish, he would at least attempt to make me understand.

The man walks towards me. He reaches his hands out to carry me, but I do not know this man! And he was quite stinky! I do not like him. I smack his hands away, and he takes a step back.

"With all due respect," I try to explain to him, "please introduce yourself before any forward actions. They are most unwelcoming. Your Princess does not appreciate this behavior."

He turns to my suspicious mother and says something in gibberish. I frown, for the language barrier does not mean that my subjects may disobey my wishes in such a manner!

Suspicious Mommy takes off the shield that was over her eyes. I find that it is NOT Mommy! Though they look similar, their differences are too contrasting. This woman's eyes were a tad sharper. She was too aware of me, and did not seem comfortable in my presence.

"Shhh sh shhh," she goes again, trying to pick me up, but I allow my short legs to fall from under me. My behind hits the mattress, and I feel my friend, General Lion, against my hand.

"Is everything well, Your Highness?" my trusty General says to me. "Is there anything I can do to be of service?"

"Dismiss this woman from my presence!" I command him.

"But... but that is Mommy!" he cries.

This woman was good in her disguise. She had fooled my trusted advisor!

"Believe me, General, it is not!" I tell him. "She has fooled us!"

"And she is trying to take you away?" he observes.

"Yes!" I am suddenly aware of what is happening. The woman begins to reach for me. "Quick!" I say, panic swelling in my chest. I had to do something about this, but all my heart is telling me to do is cry! I have to take more serious measures than that! "What am I to do?"

"Uh... uh..." General Lion looks around the crib, before he reaches out to me. "Take a hold of my paw!"

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putting my Aftermath taglist because that’s the only one i have :) - y’all can see what’s happening in the next chapter & these other fics. if you’re interested in any (besides Aftermath) let me know! if you don’t interact or anything, i’ll leave you on the Aftermath taglist and won’t remove or add you anywhere :)

(also, people probably know this but just a gentle reminder, the only reason i don’t reply to comments is because this is a sideblog. i see them all though, so don’t worry. i just don’t want to confuse people by replying from my main blog or anything :) anyway let me stop trailing off)

@captain-kingliamsqueen @gkittylove99 @lovablegranny @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @mom2000aggie @kingliam2019 @queenrileyrose @shanzay44 @cordonianroyalty @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @twinkle-320 @amandablink @texaskitten30 @pens-girl-87 @ladyangel70 @sanchita012 @cordonianprincess @cordonia-gothqueen @pink-diamond13 @queenwalton @yourmajesty09 @alj4890 @choicesbutterfly

^if anyone from this list wants to do the WIP Wednesday thing, feel free!!

#trr fanfic #wips

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divine-mistake · 3 years

Note

How did you get the idea for tcor? What’s an idea you thought of for tcor but decided against it?

okay so buckle up for a long ride boys, this answer is gonna be big. hey if you ever wondered about who i am and why i am the way that i am, this is definitely the post for you. tw: domestic abuse (and all the fixin’s so if you’re easily triggered just don’t read this)

so when i got into the marvel fandom, i loved one single character, and that was loki. like i didn’t actually care about anyone else at all. i had seen marvel movies (very out of order) but i had watched the first two thor movies and i just loved loki so much because i really related to him, since i grew up with complex, for lack of better words, relationships with my parents. i was very independent as a child but still grew up extremely codependent thanks to the abuse that i was put through. anyway, i saw loki, he was hot, he was similar to me, and i attached as we all do. for probably a year i only read fanfic that was about loki, so i started developing ideas for him.

and then sometime late last year, in the height of quarantine, i saw a bucky fic that looked super intriguing and began to get into bucky fanfic! and i realized i related to bucky like... a lot. like, maybe too much. because when i graduated high school, two days later i bounced out of my hometown and moved in with a man who should be in jail for multiple reasons. my ex was emotionally manipulative, physically destructive, and sexually... well, i can’t even begin to put that in words. this person ruined me in the most particular of ways. he starved me of food, he humiliated me in public, he completely broke me of personhood. the eighteen-year-old taylor who loved fully and rejected cynicism and never judged a soul for anything died and her blood is smeared across the bathroom tiles of that california apartment. and, when you tear someone’s personhood away from them, you can make them believe anything you want. and he made me believe in an entirely different reality than the one that i was living in.

because of this other reality, my memories are completely skewed. there used to be nights that i woke and, because my room was arranged in the same way as our apartment was, i would scream and scream because i thought i was still there and i dreamed up leaving. there are times when i think that none of what is in my head happened at all, that when he tells people i abused him instead that it’s true. and sometimes i can still hear the words he would say to me so loudly in my head that i can’t separate what’s real and what’s not. because his words always had a fraction of truth to them, and that’s what makes it so hard.

anyway, i’m getting off topic. i connected with bucky because, like him, i have a brain that is basically jell-o. i live in different realities and when i wake up i don’t always know which one i’m in. and it’s all too easy to trigger me and send me back into a spiral of “maybe none of this happened. maybe i’m making this all up. maybe it’s my fault and i’m being too dramatic.” bucky (pre-tfatws) couldn’t remember everything he had done. i don’t remember everything either, and sometimes i’ll get flashes of these memories i’m uncovering and i can’t help but ask myself whether they are real or if i’m creating them as i go.

case in point, i only remember this year that my ex made me eat kid cuisine. a 400 calorie frozen meal designed for children. at times, it was the only thing he’d let me eat for a few days. and it was humiliating. but you can’t make something up like that, can? could a brain really make up a story such as that?

the cracks in our reality was derived from this dilemma that i face every single day. people seem to talk a lot about maladaptive daydreaming, especially in fandom, but they never talk about this side. they never talk about what happens to abuse victims after everything is over. how i use maladaptive daydreaming to go back and fix the cracks that are left in my memories, which further skews my version of the truth. how the truth constantly changes because every single time you remember something, your brain fills in gaps with its own information. how someone can break every single part of your reality down through torture and abuse and build you back up into a monster because you are desperate for relief. how you can’t trust you own mind, your own memories, your own hands. and how much better it feels to slip away into a newly constructed reality where someone loves you. and you aren’t damaged. and you’re good again. a place where you can be the girl whose body you left to decompose and rot in that apartment. i can’t be her again, not in this reality. but when i go back to the other reality, i can be her, and in that reality, people can love me.

rabbit and loki both embody my own trauma, but very different sides. and loki’s trauma - and it’s lack of exploration in media - has consistently bothered me because as someone who suffers extensively from similar situations to loki, watching his story be covered up, treated as a joke, never mentioned, and then having him villainized for it, it fucks with my head. because i should be villainized for the things i did to leave that apartment. maybe when my ex calls me evil, he’s right, because i escaped by fighting tooth and nail. so if loki is the villain for what he did, aren’t i?

but on the other hand, bucky has been pardoned and forgiven and is seen as a hero. bucky is a good guy. he was never really a villain in the first place, was he? because he was being controlled and he didn’t know what he was doing and he couldn’t say no. and i couldn’t say no either. so then, am i good? is this a different reality? should i be praised for how i was able to escape my captor and how i have rebuilt myself into a fucking machine who can barely feel things anymore in order to compartmentalize what happened to her so she can put one foot in front of the other? bucky doesn’t have a good memory, and i don’t either. and he has nightmares too and people love him. do i have the capacity to be loved? or should i just stay a villain - because i know some people look at me like i’m a villain for what i did to my ex.

i did escape though. i manipulated my ex into unlocking my cage and letting me out and i ran and never looked back. he chased me. he stalked me. he still, to this day, threatens my life and it feels the same way it did when he held a knife to my arm and told me that if i didn’t kill myself he would do it for me. but i’m okay and i left and i struggle between whether i am good or evil for it.

tcor i guess is my way of dealing with all these feelings that i can’t talk to people about. and so this is the inspiration. and i really probably shouldn’t have talked about all this but i guess i just want people to know that at some point it gets better, it has to get better, like i am alive and i shouldn’t be alive but i am and i’m here and i’m. i’m okay. i’m not good but i’m okay and i’m finally at a point, years later, where i’m starting to open these wounds up and heal. and tcor is a large large part of that. it’s why i take so many breaks in writing it sometimes, because it’s like picking a scab on an old, festering wound and trying to clean out the gunk. it’s therapeutic in a way. and i write it and continue to write it because i know it helps other people, who have been through similar things, just as much as it helps me.

anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk if you read through all of this? but feel free not to read this it’s just junk and i’ve talked too much about myself. but tcor is special to me, really special, because it’s my story. both rabbit and loki are parts of me that exist together that i’m sending out into the world, unprotected, to be read and torn to shreds or to be held by gentle palms. and i’m glad that it’s received such good reception. idk i’m just rambling now haha.

tldr; don’t read tcor it’s a mess but it’s my mess and i love it very much.

thank you for 1k! join my sleepover and ask me anything!

#divines1ksleepover #tw domestic abuse #tcor #long post #ask me anything

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drunklander · 4 years

Text

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 501

We’re back again for another season of men never having to demonstrate any personal growth on screen because the writers don’t feel like that’s important to show and instead force the audience to just forget everything that previously happened because look! The characters, who aren’t real and are just what we write them to be, are all cool now so why aren’t you? #BadFans

As a standalone episode/series premiere of a new show, this episode was really good! I enjoyed it a lot, with some obvious exceptions. As the season five premiere of a show with a long history? What the actual fuck, why do you keep doing this, writers?

In season one, Jamie beats Claire, never actually apologizes for it, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season two, Jamie takes his pants off with some prostitutes while his pregnant wife is at home, blames it on his “mission,” and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season three, Jamie is an asshole and a half to Claire when she gives up literally everything (including their daughter) to come find him and knowingly marries the woman who tried to have Claire killed because of one dance with random children at a holiday party, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season four, Roger is a rancid garbage heap to Bree all season and is only begrudgingly down to stay with her as if *he’s* the one who’s been wronged by her, and Jamie literally sends a guy into what he thinks is like certain death/slavery without getting any real information, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

So watching this premiere, I was not at all shocked that there was a convenient time jump where everything was so handily worked out off screen and we’re all super cool now, and Jamie thinking Roger isn’t good enough for Bree is played for a joke instead of being THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. #BreeDeservesBetter

Anywho, onward under the cut because I’m back on my drunken bullshit.

Ooo, a rape warning before the episode, starting off very on brand for you I see, show.

Fuck them very much, again, for including that very unnecessary story line in the first place.

I miss Scotland, y’all. Also, young Murtz can get ittt.

So can old Murtz.

#TeamMurtz

This bit though with wee Jamie made me feel feelings. Jamie and Murtagh’s relationship is literally one of my favorite parts of this whole damn show and saving Murtagh was the best adaptive choice these fuckwads made.

Unpopular opinion alert, but I actually really like the new credits music. I will always like season one’s the best, but this one is up there.

Also, am I a giant weirdo for being happy that even though they change stuff in the credits all the time, they keep in the shot of Claire’s legs running from the pilot? Idk why, but I’m like sentimentally attached to that shot.

Also, that is a fucking microscope I see in the credits, are we gettING SCIENCE!JIZZ?!??!?!?!

SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ!

“Careful, or ye’ll lose yer head.” And we’d all be definitely super sad if that happened. Yep, can’t have that. #TeamCutthroatRazor

Jamie threateningly shaving and insulting Roger is the fandom minus the stans who for some inconceivable reason still like that fucker.

Seriously, fuck Roger. Jamie is apparently the only one who hasn’t gotten amnesia about how terrible he is. I guess it’s because Jamie has been really fucking terrible many times and like recognizes like.

I fucking love that Murtz made Bree’s ring. Makes it more meaningful than the random trinket Roger picks up at the Gathering Without End in the book. Like Claire’s Lallybroch key ring was more meaningful than the book!ring. Fuck the show for ditching the Lallybroch key ring because tHe BoOk RiNg Is WhAt FaNs LiKe. No. Stop. Bad choice.

The aerial shot going over the big house makes me hopeful that this season won’t be as fucking claustrophobic as last year. Because seriously, we can all tell you’re still in Scotland. Doing a whole season in basically closeups doesn’t make it seem any more North Carolina-y.

CLAIRE MAKING BREE’S DRESS AND GETTING TO BE THERE FOR HER DAUGHTER’S WEDDING WHEN SHE DIDN’T THINK SHE’D BE ABLE TO GIVES ME ALL THE FEELINGS! CLAIRE DESERVES ALL THE GOOD THINGS! I JUST LOVE CLAIRE A LOT OK! SORRY NOT AT ALL EVER FUCKING SORRY! #BeauchampBrigade5Eva

Bree’s dress is fucking gorgeous. I lowkey like it better than Claire’s.

Da!Jamie on his something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue quest is fucking adorable. He also never thought he’d get to see this one of his kids’ wedding so yay for him too.

“And we’re giving her away to a man who loves her.” “Oh.” “What? You doubt his love?” “Um, I’m sorry, did you SEE all last season?! Did everyone else get amnesia?!”

Also, bullshit about Roger being terrible aside, this right here, with Jamie and Claire actually talking to each other in an adorable and snuggly way. Like being all close and cuddly and shit. THIS IS MY SHIT. When we all bitch about wanting more Jamie and Claire couple stuff and the writers are all like “but the sex doesn’t advance the story” it’s like no you fuckwits, we don’t always mean sex! Sometimes we mean sex, because sex is important in their relationship (and sex does not necessarily equal nudity), but most of the time we mean SHOW US THAT THESE PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER WITH THE SMALL CUTE STUFF LIKE THIS! I’m *rull* curious to see how much more of stuff like this we get this season now that Balfe and Heughan are producers. Balfe especially, considering how dirty they did Claire last season...

DA!JAMIE AND ANOTHER OF HIS KIDDOS! Da!Jamie being sappy and sentimental at his kids’ weddings is 100% my jam.

HIS FACE WHEN BREE SAYS JE SUIS PREST MAKES ME FEEL ALL THE FEELINGSSS.

MOM AND DAD ARE AT THEIR LIL GIRL’S WEDDING AND MY SKIN IS CLEAR AND MY CROPS ARE THRIVING. Except that one weed over there in the groom’s place that just won’t go away.

I am so fucking glad they did away with the Gathering Without End. I swear to fuck 17% of a book that’s just like camping and periods and breast milk is aggressively not my jam.

Unfortunately the groom being a douchenozzle is not a legal reason to object to a wedding. But it really should be.

Fersali being all snuggly and cute during the vows is fucking precious. I love Fersali. Protect Fersali at all costs.

I’m ok with playing Jamie and Claire’s music over Bree and Roger’s wedding because like, this is the culmination of all the shit that Jamie and Claire went through together and I’m all for making stuff just about them, haha. But otherwise, weird choice to not give Bree and Roger their own theme?

Also, I get that it’s a better choice to have a character we already know and have established stakes with be here to do the red coat stuff, but loool at the thought of the fucking governor coming to this random backcountry wedding. Tryon, buddy, I get that Murtz is your white whale, but you look obsessed in a bad way, bruh.

GERMAIN!!! I FUCKING LOVE GERMAIN! I FUCKING LOVE THAT JAMIE TALKS SHIT ABOUT PRESBYTERIANS TO GERMAIN! GIVE ME ALL THE SASSY SMOLS!

“Some of us like to think before we act.” Oh fuck all the way off, Roger. ALL THE WAY OFF.

“There was me thinking that you were just trying to shut me up for a minute.” I mean, that was an added bonus, Rog.

Sophie has really gotten so much better at acting. She’s always such a goddamn delight on press tours and I’m like *rull* glad to see her growing into the role.

Lizzo/Flute Lady from the Wedding Band 2020

I 100% wanna chill with JQM and Fersali. This squad of cool kids seems aggressively more fun than the dancers.

Oh Isiah Morton. If only you could keep it in your pants.

I LOVE FERGUS WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

I LOVE MARSALI POSSIBLY EVEN MORE.

GODDAMN IT I JUST LOVE FERSALI SO FUCKING HARD.

Seriously, the sass and theatricality and sarcasm of Marsali Fraser. I stan. I fucking stan.

Also I 100% kept reciting “To sit in solemn silence...” through that whole scene. Once a theater kid, always a theater kid.

Don’t be a buzzkill, LJG. I love that posh nerd. Except when he’s being a fucking creeper about Jamie to Claire.

“Mistress, can I dance with the guy I thought raped you because he was such a twatwaffle?” “Sure, Lizzie, go for it! Because we’re all friends now.”

We’re just leaning in on the dad stuff this episode. The hot dads of Riverdale should form a gang with the hot dads of the Ridge just for kicks.

Obligatory fuck the writers for including Bree’s rape. Since they did though, good on them for showing her PTSD. Although fuck them for including such a graphic flashback. Much like the choices they made in the season one finale, it centers the rapist and the act more than the survivor.

Can this please be the only Fred reference this season? Also love to lightly joke about an emotionally abusive asshole who treated Claire like shit and used Bree as a weapon against her. Claire, being the bigger person she’s always been, will obvs not speak ill of Fred to Bree (unlike how Freddy boy undermined Claire in front of Bree), but Bree is now aware of just how shitty Fred was. Even if he wasn’t overtly shitty to her, her still being all lovey about him, knowing what he did to her mother, is lowkey super fucked up. “Well I know he was shitty to other people, but he never did anything to me” is never a good look.

Bree hugging Jemmy, oh man, I just wanna give her a hug and tell her everything’s gonna be ok.

Jocasta is still trash (there’s no such thing as a benevolent slave owner) but this Murcasta scene is a goddamn delight.

OK BUT NOW I NEED FAN ART OF MURTZ AS A FAIRY KING!

Roger singing to Bree is cute and all, but then using the music for the whole montage is cheesy af and I don’t think I like it.

Is that Arch and Murdina I spy there in the crowd?

Marsali is literally the most fertile woman in the Colonies.

Grannie and Granda trying to get it on veryyy quietly so they don’t wake Jemmy is fucking adorable as shit and I lowkey love it.

Awww, poor LJG. I ship Lord John with someone who actually loves him.

Ok I get Murcasta having to break up because of his regulator stuff, randomly introducing Duncan Innes is a fucking weird choice.

Maria Doyle Kennedy really was the fucking perfect casting choice.

Oh hey, Josiah Beardsley. I was hoping they’d cut out the whole thing with the Beardsleys and Lizzie, but honestly, I’ll take that silliness over Emo!Roger any day.

Good on Jocasta for being a clever MacKenzie, but fuck Roger for only doing the right thing when he’s insulted into it. TL;DR: Fuck Roger.

Is Gerald Forbes going to randomly turn into Neil Forbes at some point like he does in the book?

DOCTOR CLAIRE FOR THE WIN GIVE ME ALL THE DOCTOR CLAIRE.

Srsly, I am here for Jamie shitting on Roger at literally every opportunity. Preach, Jamie. Preach.

“I’ll leave you to yer patients. And to wage war with your wee invisible beasties.” Seriously though, this is my jam. This playful banter. For so much of the series, it’s been like do these two even like each other? Because the writers kept trying to make the show into something it wasn’t. Politics, war, characterization flipflops and assholery FoR tHe DrAmA. It was so hard to see why Claire would ever pick this guy. I’m very cautiously optimistic that more shit like this will be peppered in this year because dammit, this is why we’re all fucking here.

“Then ye must find yerself a lieutenant.” Can it be Marsali? Please? Can Marsali be Claire’s lieutenant?! Because cutting the whole Malva bullshit would be ideal. And Fersali gets so sidelined in the later books that I’d fucking LOVE the writers to make changes so they can be more centered with the rest of the fam. And I am fucking obsessed with Claire and Marsali’s relationship. Marsali is the most Claire Jr. character in this whole damn show and I WANT THEM TOGETHER IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS.

Roger pricks his index finger but smudges the blood on Jemmy’s head with his thumb. Not the takeaway of this scene at all. But since I don’t like Roger, that’s my bullet for it.

Also I love that they switched the whole raise a militia thing to a hunt for Murtz & Squad rather than needing to do it because some randos are somewhere doing a thing and then lol jk they left so you can all go home like it is in the book.

Totally called it that they were going to combine the two bonfires and that this was when the kilt was gonna make its triumphant return.

Also I fucking love that it’s the music from Je Suis Prest during the scene when Jamie puts his kilt back on.

And thank fuck they didn’t put any dialogue/voiceover in this scene when Claire sees Jamie. It’s so much more powerful without it.

Aaand we’re burning a cross. At least they were smart enough not to burn a Roman cross, but they’re still burning a cross instead of just doing a bonfire. The scene could be just as powerful had it been adapted to not have a burning cross. Fuck them, tbh.

Remember that time that fuckwit Roberts tried to be like oh we’re not *really* burning a cross so we’re not racist but we’re not gonna address it directly because lol out fanbase is fucking wicked conservative and also a fucking cult who will yell at us for changing anything.

Because seriously that twatwaffle really tried to pretend like a celtic cross isn’t a religious symbol so they’re not having a KKK rally in this white supremacist hellscape. FUCK THAT GUY FOR BOTH HIS SHITTY DECISIONS AND ALSO FOR ACTING LIKE WE’RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS.

BuT hIsToRy AnD tHe BoOk! Fuck that. Do. Not. Burn. Crosses. But they showed a lynching last year for the sole purpose of showing the shocked white people, so of course they fucking burned a cross.

Jamie being both himself and Colum from the Gathering in season one at the same time is a fucking sight to see.

The look on Knox’s face is *chef’s kiss*. Bruh you don’t even *know* who you’re dealing with.

Aaand in a move that is not at all shocking, Roger hesitates *again*, when Jamie extends his hand to him. Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, that guy. I get that he’s untrained and scared or whatever, but buddy you deal with that shit tomorrow. You don’t fucking leave Jamie hanging when he’s doing this big theatrical thing in an effort to fucking save his land and tenants. Ugh.

FERGUS, SON OF HIS NAME AND HIS HEART! Jamie and Claire’s first kid getting the props he fucking deserves. ILY SO MUCH FERGS!

Marsali’s face when Fergus goes to give his oath. Just the pride and love there. I JUST LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH OK.

I appreciate the commitment to the shitty green screen of that titular Ridge, haha.

That is a *rull* phallic rock in your circle, Murtz.

BUT...ALWAYS TAKE A MURTAGH! *cries*

This is a real gut punch of a scene, tbh. It’s 100% the right thing to do, but damn, right in the fucking feels.

This episode, with my selective amnesia activated per the above lol, has me more hopeful for how a season might be than I’ve been in a while. But this feeling has consistently been crushed in the past. Here’s to hoping the show finally stops doing us dirty!

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x01 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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arigatouiris · 4 years

Text

the tinder date // shinshou hitoshi

Author’s Note: I am in LOVE with @myherowritings ‘You Suck at Gaming’ so I wanted to do something in appreciation, albeit a bit differently! So, this happened to me irl haha so I wanted to write about it~ I turned the real guy into Shinsou so that no one would know hahahaha I’m such a creep oh my god

Word count: 3046

Pairing: Modern! Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader

Warnings: fluff, humor, smau

❝

You never really wanted to use Tinder to meet new people, but ever since a terrible breakup, your friends, your classmates, your goddamn mind told you that you needed a push and maybe, just maybe, Tinder might do good.

You weren’t a fan of the idea of meeting people using an app, which honestly, came across the same as buying groceries where some things were available and some things weren’t—you believed you couldn’t do that with people, and you believed with all your heart that people weren’t meant to be either swiped right on or swiped left on. Your heart was already weak as it was, and there was no way you were ready to emotionally invest in something real; at least for the time being.

So that lonely Friday night, you downloaded the app, created your profile, chose the perfect bio after 14 attempts at writing something about yourself, each time forgetting a vital piece of information. You didn’t start swiping right away, something about the process scared you—but there you were, mentally preparing yourself, telling yourself that it was okay, you were going to meet people on these dates and maybe, the app might be good for you, after all.

You have heard success stories of people meeting via Tinder and having a great relationship and all that; some even find their best friends on the app, which is weird despite the social stigma attached to an app like Tinder. Some of your friends even know people who have gotten married and that’s the tea. You were not ready for either of those, maybe you’d get some coffee with a cute chap and maybe, just maybe, hold hands.

Alright, fine, make out or whatever.

But the prospect felt so wrong, you didn’t know what you would do if he turned out to be a creep. So, bucking it all up, swallowing your pride or what was left of it, you started to look at the men Tinder presented to you.

The very first picture was of a boy whose face revolted you—and if you thought that sounded rude, wait until you start complaining about the grapes he had for hair.

The second boy was decent, but you were not going for decent on this app. You wanted something written on the bio—something that they were willing to communicate with, something you could identify with, something you can vibe with; and if you didn’t find anything like that, despite how cute the guy can be, you are swiping left on that ass.

It was after what felt like a thousand left swipes did you find someone a least bit attractive. But, you blinked—there was an odd feature under his profile; it was marked blue with a star.

Immediately opening WhatsApp, you texted your friend, Ochako, asking her what it was. Ochako being Ochako instantly called you.

“Someone super liked you in less than an hour!?”

What in the world was a ‘super like’?

“Ocha-chan, what’s a ‘super like?’” You rubbed your eyeball as you continued, “And what does it have to do with the fact that I’ve been on this app for less than an hour—”

“Most super likes are usually done by creeps,” Uraraka didn’t hold back, “But sometimes, if someone really finds you attractive or interesting, you get a super like from a very decent guy. I heard one of my classmate’s brother’s friends met his boyfriend via the ‘super like’ feature!”

“Y-Yeah, I’m not... I’m not looking for—”

“It just means that whoever this person is, finds you interesting! So go through his profile and let me know what you think!”

You ended the call right then before going back on the app, finding his profile still open. You wouldn’t lie, he was very attractive—not in the way most people would flaunt over, but you couldn’t take your eyes off him. There was something about the way he was lazily smiling at the camera, or how the light fell on his lavender hair, or how he looked so unapologetically as himself. You then went on to read his bio.

If you matched not to start a conversation, then don’t swipe right. Being left alone is easy.

It wasn’t all of the bio but this part of the bio somehow stuck to you. It was incredibly honest—and wasn’t the usual ‘interested in trekking’ or fancy words like ‘selenophile’ (words that you had to google basically). You noticed that in one of his pictures, he had a tattoo—of a particular animal but it was so minimalistic you could barely recognize it from the odd angle in the picture.

You swiped right and the pop up appeared ‘It’s a Match!’. Your heart skipped a beat for god knows what and you gulped, wondering what would come next. You didn’t even hold back before looking at the new chat screen. You gulped before shutting your phone and lying back on your bed, wondering what the ideal time to send him a message would be.

Swallowing your leftover pride, you opened the chat once more and went ahead with, “Please don’t mind my stalker tendencies, but what is that tattoo on your hand?” You wanted to clarify some more that you were not a stalker, but held back.

You closed the app and felt your stomach grumble. This was the start of something—you were sure of that much, but you weren’t sure of what. And this person, Hitoshi, whose last name you did not know, seemed very interesting.

The next morning, you woke up to a Tinder notification. Your stomach flipped as the purple-haired boy’s face was your first thought and you instantly opened the message where he had explained that it was a tattoo of his cat.

Your heart melted at this gesture but you reminded yourself that you didn’t even know this person and there was no use feeling warm over one sentence. But, what came next sent your heart on overdrive.

Your eyes widened as you read the messages one by one,

You closed the app and almost screamed, but held yourself back; you figured this was a bad idea because the sound really needed to come out of you and you squealed like a dying animal just seconds after. You needed to tell someone this, but before that, you had to reply to that. You opened the app again with trembling fingers before figuring out what could be the most appropriate response to something like that.

Haha; No, that’s too lame.

You’re so funny!; No fucking way!

Ughh, what do I say? What do I say?! You had reached a slump. You had no words. So, you did what you do best—you went with your gut.

You slapped yourself in the forehead. There was no way you were going to live past this one—

You chuckled. He’s funny. You quickly were about to type a response before he added, “Just wanted to have a good conversation with someone new. Not intending on using this app to fornicate like lonely bunnies.”

You stared at the message before feeling a soft smile crawl on to your features. You felt the same, but this wasn’t supposed to happen, right? You weren’t supposed to agree with whatever a random Tinder match was saying, right? It wasn’t supposed to be this easy.

You replied, Same. Intending on great conversations because somehow, that’s taken the backseat these days.

No one really talks anymore, you thought before waiting for his reply. You didn’t know where this conversation would go, really, but you were intending on finding out. You never really chatted with anyone on Tinder before but you were curious as to why he super-liked you, and what this person had in store for you. It was strange, but you enjoyed this feeling. It wasn’t a crush, it had no expectations attached to it—yet, there was a fresh excitement bubbling in your stomach at the mere thought of some stranger talking to you.

You and Hitoshi kept chatting during random points of the day. You’d be cooking for yourself (since it was a weekend), or you’d be taking a dump or you’d try to take a nap—and a simple ping would send your heart to the skies. You didn’t know him for that long, it had been less than a whole day since you two matched, but somehow, talking to him about random things really helped keep your spirits high. You felt genuinely happy—and the excitement kept you going.

You stared at the conversation and wondered why it wasn’t as easy with people you really did know in life. You wondered why people didn’t have time for conversation unless it’s a stranger—isn’t that the entire point of it all? To talk, to spread joy, to ponder on life’s meaninglessness together?

You blinked. Boarding a flight? To where? You wanted to ask, but you really didn’t want to come across as some prying clingy individual. You were curious though.

Oh! Where to?

You hoped that the message sounded less inquisitive and more cheerful for god knows what reason.

Going to Reykjavik for a week. Always wanted to see the lights.

He’s going to... ICELAND?! You felt strangely excited and disappointed, but the fact that he had no obligation to meet you stung.

However—

Your heart shot to the skies. You wanted to respond immediately, but you held back. Clearing your throat, you replied earnestly.

Sure. Looking forward to it!

And that was that.

You never knew how well you could jump to overthinking, especially when it came to strangers. You knew Hitoshi (whatever his last name was) was in Iceland right now, and that only meant that considering the time differences, there would be little to no text messages.

What you didn’t understand was why you got no notifications in three days. A suspicious thing, because Tinder usually throws a thousand notifications at you especially when you don’t want to check them. So, being the inquisitive little cat that you are, you opened the app. Only to find that your account on Tinder is banned.

“What...” You blinked a couple of times before closing the app and opening it again, “What the fuck!?”

You didn’t know what to do at this point. How could it have been banned? There were no ill comments, no ugly or obscene photographs of you from your end, then why did Tinder ban your account?

You went through the community guidelines and found nothing. Your heart was breaking—Hitoshi must have thought you unmatched him (Ochaco once told you that if you unmatch someone’s profile, they won’t see your chats anymore). You couldn’t even log in, you couldn’t even let him know that it was Tinder cockblocking you and not you being an idiot. Oh, god, why!? You screamed into your pillow, wondering how this could have happened before calling Ochako to help calm you down.

“How the hell can they ban you?” She asked, causing you to roll your eyes.

“If I knew that then I would have done something else, Ocha-chan!”

“Okay, okay. So let’s do this. Find him on Facebook and send him a message saying Tinder banned you. It has to be a bug from their end. I’ve read that it happens to a lot of random profiles.”

You blinked. Really? Or was she simply just trying to pacify you? You didn’t care, you needed the pacifying.

“But, I don’t know his surname...”

“(y/n)-chan,” Ochako took a deep breath, “You spoke to him for two days and you didn’t take his surname!?”

You undermined yourself pretty hard in the past, but right now, it had reached the pinnacle of it all. You felt low, you had lost the prospect of not only great conversations but a cute boy who even asked you out.

“Try finding him on LinkedIn.” Ochako said, and you blinked.

“LinkedIn?”

You could practically hear her nod, “Yeah. Just type in his workplace or education, whatever you remember from the Tinder app, and his first name. It should show you a result that matches.”

You couldn’t wait to try. You opened your laptop, while Ochako was on call, and did exactly as she told you. You typed in ‘Hitoshi’ and then his workplace, some gaming studio—for the life of you you couldn’t pronounce it, and your eyes widened. The first result was ‘Shinsou Hitoshi’.

“Oh my God,” You gasped, “I found him!”

Ochako giggled, “Is it really him?”

“I’d really not mistake that face anywhere, Ocha-chan! You’re a genius!”

“Of course,” She said, giggling, “Send him a message then!”

Doubt said hello a second after, “But what if he thinks I’m some stalker?”

“Tell him your account got banned. Just be honest. He might even appreciate the effort.”

You weren’t too sure about that, actually. Your hand ghosted over his profile before attempting to send a message; but, apparently, LinkedIn wouldn’t let you send a message to someone new—someone you didn’t already have any connections with. When you mentioned this to Ochako, you wondered if you were the stalker or if she was.

“He’s on Facebook, (y/n)-chan. Just go for it!”

You gulped before opening Facebook, wondering all the while if this was entirely normal for anyone to do for a Tinder date, before typing in his name. It was the same picture he had put of himself on Tinder, and you gulped, unsure of what to send. Again, you did what you do best—went with your gut.

Hey! This is (y/n), from Tinder. So long story short, my account got banned and idek why. I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t unmatch/ghost you. I didn’t want to leave you hanging so I turned into an interim stalker to let know you this. Is there any way we can contact each other besides Tinder?

You breathed slowly, as slowly as you possibly could. You could feel a weird numbness asphyxiating you, unaware of how to proceed or what would happen next. You shut your eyes and released a breath, before falling back on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” You could hear the worry in Ochako’s voice.

“I don’t know...” Nothing made sense anymore.

Did you like Shinsou? You weren’t sure—but what you were sure of was how little you knew him. Was that enough? Was the fact that you had never met come into play here? Just because the conversation was easy? Or was it merely the idea of meeting someone through a dating app? You couldn’t like him. Maybe, it was a crush.

But, can you have a crush on someone you didn’t even know?

You heard a ping and you felt that familiar stomach flipping sensation you knew so well in school. You never realized how much that feeling was missed ever since you grew up.

You were quite practically rolling and squealing at the same time. Ochako joined you, not knowing what the reply was but she was merely just happy for you.

“He replied!”

“In like ten minutes! So fast!”

You didn’t know how he could reply, considering the time difference and everything, but that didn’t matter. He had given you his number, and you were going to text him and that was that.

“So, should I text him now?”

Ochako hummed, “Not now. Wait till the morning.”

So, you waited until the next morning. As soon as you woke up, you remembered the details Ochako had given you and you carefully composed a message in your head. Saving the number into your contacts, you tried to send him a message—but it failed.

Heh? You thought before trying again, with each attempt failing each time. You felt nervous, wondering if something was wrong with your phone, before realizing you were late for work.

Ugh, you thought before sending him another message, not bothered to tell Ochako about this.

Hey, so I can’t seem to send you a message, why don’t you ping me instead? It’s xy-xyx-xxxxx.

As soon as you reached work, you forgot entirely that you had even sent him that message. For some reason, your manager seemed to know you had other things in your mind and was intending on squeezing the life out of you. You had never worked so hard in the entirety of your life but that Thursday, you felt God’s wrath. After 9 hours of painful clock time, you began to head home, feeling incredibly tired and done with everything there was about adulthood.

You checked your phone for the first time in 9 hours and your heart skipped a beat. Shinsou had sent you two messages, one on Facebook—

—and one on WhatsApp.

You freaked before replying to him, apologizing for the wait—apologizing internally a thousand times; and wondered if you’d get a response real quick. Judging from where you were, you realized you needed to get home first.

As soon as you reached home, you threw your bag on the bed and checked your phone again—nothing. You sighed before getting some food, constantly looking over at your phone, wondering what had gotten into you, wondering if you were the only one flipping over a Tinder date like this. You were sure Shinsou wouldn’t be responding the same way; he was in Iceland, he probably wasn’t even thinking of you! And yet, here you were, thinking about him all through your day.

You felt strangely pathetic. Were you so lonely that you couldn’t live without this minor excitement that a random stranger was giving you? It felt so odd.

You spent the next two days, not texting him. You wondered if you were intentionally ghosting him, but he hadn’t texted you either. You felt low, being proven that he had better things to do, but you had gotten your answer. Serves you right that you were excited over someone you didn’t even know. Serves you right for jumping over your head for a Tinder match.

You sighed before hearing the familiar ‘ping’ of your phone.

You smiled a bit, feeling the sides of your cheek hurt.

Sure, but won’t you be tired?

It was a second later did Shinsou reply to that. You stared as the conversation rolled on, before knowing for a fact that you weren’t meeting him tomorrow. Maybe on Tuesday? You thought, giving yourself the benefit of the doubt.

His message only proved that he did want to see you. So, that means, you weren’t the only one wanting to see the other person. This being clarified to you made it easier for you to accept your obsession over the purple-haired male, but you had to restrain yourself.

When Tuesday morning rolled by, you were very close to giving up. You texted Ochako all day, asking her if he had given up interest in you or if you were annoying or clingy or desperate and she assured you that you were neither of those things. She told you that you were overthinking, that Shinsou was probably busy, he went back to work after Iceland, so maybe he had a lot to catch up on.

You didn’t know when you took a blow to your confidence, but you had and it bothered you. You wondered if it was alright to test everything on one random Tinder match, but you sighed, giving up the entire thought process. You raged inside your head, but there was very little clarity left. You decided to let the day pass and see if he was going to text you.

He didn’t.

It ran past 12 p.m. You had lunch on your own, staring at your phone the whole time, wondering if he had forgotten even. You felt your energy reduce in intensity before spamming Ochako about what to do.

You couldn’t bear the thought of him losing interest in you, and you didn’t know why. He seemed interested, your conversations were really fun—you had a few things in common and he asked you out twice!

What went wrong? Was he really that busy? Was he bored with you? Was he cat-fishing you?

It was then you saw a message pop in.

Hey, sorry about not texting. I’ve come down with a cold. The date’ll need to wait.

Your heart skipped three beats. You sighed before wondering why you hadn’t thought of the possibility of him being sick. You replied a genuine, ‘take care’, but in your heart—it was as if the universe was saying this wasn’t going to happen. You didn’t bother to see his further replies; you weren’t blaming him for being sick, you were blaming yourself for being so overtly excited by someone you didn’t know.

He’s just a Tinder match, you thought before collapsing on your bed after coming home.

Ochako called you that night, and you revealed to her in detail about what you were feeling.

“What’s wrong?”

You sighed, “I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.”

Ochako was quiet.

“Do you think Tinder was a bad idea?”

You scoffed, “It has to be. It just showed me how lonely I am. That’s what these apps do! They show you how pathetic you are, how lonely you are on the inside and it’s just... It just sucks.”

You don’t remember falling asleep that night. It was a Friday, and you knew what work had in store for you. However, you had nothing on your mind—you forced the thought of Shinsou to the back of your mind before walking into work with a clear head. You worked all day, ate lunch alone, worked again—not checking your phone, not bothered to read or be interested in anything remotely online.

As soon as work was done, from the corner of your eye, you noticed notifications. You shook your head before rushing on home, before realizing you weren’t watching where you were going.

Your office was on an incredibly important street. Sometimes, you met people you never thought you’d meet—schoolmates, enemies from the past, old teachers. You were thankful that you worked in such a location but sometimes, just sometimes, the fact that you worked on such a busy street proved to be a tad bit too... cliche.

You look up and your eyes met with purple locks and wide black eyes, shocked at seeing your form just as shocked as you were seeing his.

“(y/n)?”

You blinked, gasped and stood up straight.

“Did you follow me?”

Shinsou chuckled, “I think this is what they’d call a coincidence.”

Your cheeks suddenly felt warm, and you wondered how in the world he had shown up there before—

—his arm extended forward, a soft smile on his features.

“Can I take you out for coffee then? You can’t imagine how long I’ve been waiting.”

I can’t imagine? You giggled before shaking his hand, I think I can.

❞

#shinsou x reader #shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #hitoshi shinshou #shinshou bnha #shinshou hitoshi #shinsō hitoshi #mha shinsou #boku no hero academia #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero imagines

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ziracona · 4 years

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I am both kind of glad she didn't like. Spiral into thoughts or more realization of what exactly she's done to these people. But also not, because I love angst. So. Questions. Will she ever meet the other survivors? What will their interactions be like? Who do you think she gets along with most? Will she meet any other killers? (probs introduced by other survivors??) And also. A painful one but. Does the entity realize she's lying? Do you think you'll continue this story in anyway?

Haha, I feel that. Adiris certainly will hit that horror realization more completely than she did during her breakdown in the archives room. I think because of her realizations of both what she’s done and just how much danger she and they and everybody upstairs depending on her is in suddenly because of the truth, happening at the same, she had a whole lot of fear and anger in play (I was used and hurt and manipulated and lied to and made to suffer, whatever you[Not Nergal/Entity] are, you have been doing horrible stuff to innocent people for no good reason, my people have also been manipulated and lied to and forced to suffer, oh Gods what happens to us if he knows I know? What can I do to save my people and myself and these foreigners? Can I do anything?) and I think the immediacy of the parts of that she had to act on hit so hard it was her core focus, but next time she either is in a trial and has to method act through hunting down people she now knows are not murderers and infidels, or the first time she’s in a safer and more calm setting with the survivors and one of them mentions something, that will all uhhh, it’ll hit home. I’m sure. God, this poor woman.

Okay! For the questions.

“Will she ever meet the other survivors?”

Yes. Definitely, and all of them.

“What will those interactions be like?”

It’s hard to say since I haven’t written that yet, but probably exceedingly awkward. I think there’s a lot of inherent fear from them towards her, and like, how would you feel talking with someone you used to murder a lot because you thought they were the enemy? Nnnmnnnnn probably not great! TuT which is how she gon be feeling. I think she is very aware she’s coming from a place of power, and is also still super used to thinking of herself as a priestess/holy/kind of removed, so she’ll try to approach it like that. Reassuring, and thoughtful/careful to not be scary or threatening, but also in control and a little aloof. And probably after a little time with the survivors, who will all go from “Scary. D:” to “A curiosity but in a good way. Weird. Neat. Still kinda spooky.” to “I like her : )” and thinking of her the way they would any normal human (the normal version of the fkn speedrun Quentin & Dwight went through), she’ll have to adjust to being treated like a normal person, and the way 21st century humans act when they’re being casual and friendly—which honestly, not too different from being friendly throughout history, but sadly either way not something this girl is used to. I think it’ll be weird and she’ll be nervous to try shifting identities from one of the only two things she’s ever known how to be, and into normal human and friend, but that it’ll also be really welcome. Because she has literally never gotten to have a family or a normal life or a friend or any single goddamn healthy or even decent relationship with another living human being. And like, god, humans need that. On a DNA level—We die in isolation. And she hasn’t been “isolated,” but she’s been mostly isolated her whole life, and she sure as hell has never ever gotten to belong or have any kind of certainty or permanence in her relationship, even her spiritual ones. She needs that. She just needs someone to look at her, go: “There’s a human being right there, and I see who she is, and I think she’s very worthwhile. I would like to keep her in my life.” God, she needs that so, so badly. I don’t think she knows it, but she really, really, desperately does.

And she deserves it, too. None of the abandonments or alienations or failures in her life are things she did wrong. But when that kind of thing keeps happening to a person, it sure as hell makes them feel like it. So, haha, sorry, got carried away (the name of my memoir probably >.>). But I think she’d be awkward, and confused, and then nervous, because she’d be invited into something she has literally never had, doesn’t know how to do right, but also desperately wants without fully understanding, which is a terrifying combination to work with socially. But then deeply impacted and happy and moved. Also afraid—I mean, girl smiled without doing it on purpose one time and flipped out emotionally with no idea why, because every time she has felt attachment or sought belonging or thought she had it her whole life, she’s been routinely betrayed and abandoned. She’s a lot more than once burned. But after the initial fear, she would be a mixture of happy and very awkward, and then eventually hopefully just exceedingly happy and also proud of herself and confident. I listened to I’m Still Here from Treasure Planet a lot while writing Adiris. Like, a lot.

“Who do you think she gets along with most?”

Hmmm, well, Dwight and Quentin I think will always be special to her after the day in the temple. Claudette is a sweetie who will definitely try to help alleviate sickness symptoms and be maybe the single least afraid to touch her of all the survivors, and that can’t help but be meaningful. Meg & she have a lot of complimentary similar personality traits, Jeff is super kind & also a great artist so he’ll probably be group interpreter & she’ll be around him a lot, and since Tapp is 2 and 0 so far on drawing bullet barrel in friend luck Russian roulette and keeps befriending women with absentee fathers, I can only assume that means she will end up close with Tapp as well. It’s too funny for him not to be 3 & 0. The world itself demands it. Beyond that, I’d have to write interactions and see how they fall. 👈👈😎 (Also a large part of how she feels about Meg & maybe also Ace, possibly Nea too, maybe even Feng, will come down to how she feels about being flirted with shamelessly. F in the chat for my poor confused ancient Mesopotamian. 😔)

“Will she meet any other killers?”

Yes, definitely. And it will be very interesting to me to see that.

“Does the Entity’s realize she’s lying?”

No. It absolutely does not. Queen method acted hard enough to give herself trauma—the first person experience thoughts and narrative are what she lived, and luckily the Entity is an emotion sponge, not a mind reader. It may or may not have been aware Quentin & Dwight were in the room (legit just depends on if it decided to/thought to look, which I don’t know, because I didn’t need to to write the scene & it be like that sometimes, but regardless of if it did, the outcome is basically unchanged. Either it didn’t look because Adiris clearly wasn’t lying, from its POV, as she felt nothing but what she exhibited outwardly as well. Or it did look for them, saw they were under there, and thought nothing of it because it lined up with her story. She said they ran off. Wouldn’t be weird for them to go to the Archives to try to steal information, or hide, or even just get lost. And it had no reason to expose them if it did see, because if it had dragged them out, it would have had to do something Adiris would understand to them, and it’s really just easier to give itself time to figure out in what way to do its “Nergal the God” aftermath, than to do it right in the room on the spot. TLDR: No, it has no clue. She method acted the fuck out of that situation, and there was nothing weird to sense, so it didn’t. Queen out-bullshitted the Entity.

“Will you continue the story in any way?”

Harder question. Probably? Likely? Maybe? Hard to say. I would love to, but I also have four, five other stories right now? Ever since I made a dumb Fate joke about having four multipath AUs, my brain has been trying to convince me to adapt New Dawn Fades, From the Earth of No Return, and some fourth, as yet unchosen story, into full length monsters. But I might die. Like, y’all, ILM is a hunk of book. If I recall correctly from back when I saw my word count, got nervous, and looked stuff up, if I published a physical single volume copy of ILM, it would become the longest single volume book ever published in a physical single book form. Which I both kinda want to do now just for the knowledge of it, but also!!! That’s SO much, like, I don’t even know how that happened. Like I am immensely proud, but also kinda like wtf? Did I drug me?? And also mostly just because rip @ me that the longest work I have written is a fic I /can’t/ ever publish or include in a resume or reel or anything. :’-](Also, @ the speed readers who did ILM in under two weeks, HOW? And please teach me your absolutely terrifying powers). I don’t plan, even if I do full length stuff again, to make another ILM length one or something. But even then, full length is big! (Also I live in fear of saying this to myself, trying to write, and becoming:

Like u have no idea rip lol.) It takes a whole bunch of time to do books, and like, I do fic books because I love it! Like SO much. It has and does bring me great joy. But, it can get a liiiittle daunting too. It eats up most of my free time to all my free time, if I get super into it.

So yes, I would really like to adapt it further. I have the barest of bones for an outline, I even have two possible endings already envisioned and several major events more fleshed out! : D But if I do write more long-form full novels for DbD, even in more manageable sizes than their forebearer, I’d try to do them in the order I began. Which means Signifying Nothing—the prequel to ILM about Philip’s time with Vigo, Alex, & Benedict (which is a will do, not if), then New Dawn Fades (the ongoing fic I have on AO3 centered around Joey & Quentin’s relationship), then From the Earth of No Return. Which for the record, my soul very much wants to adapt. Every time I hear Brave Shine now, I see cool TV show opens for it in my head. TuT But I guess the best I can say is, “We’ll see”? Since fics aren’t like my paying job or smth, it depends largely on my personal & work life & how much time I have to devote to for-passion writing. So, I guess the short answer is I’d love to, and I hope to, I’d even say I think I intend to sometime, but I’m not completely certain I’ll be able.

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fenweak · 4 years

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Top 10 1988 fics?

Ok first of all, i’ve been sitting on this ask, but thank you for this! But buckle up for a lengthy prologue to the answer lmao

It’s just so weird to be asked to choose which, because at some point, I have loved all of the fics, each for their own merit, you get me? I fell in love with the fandom mostly because the fics here are lovely, and every time a new fic explored another facet of Jonny and Patrick’s relationship getting, it gave me another reason to stay. I read, and reread. I reread enough times that I made a 1988 fic search blog (Boom, shameless sideblog plug).

I have also been reading since 2016. That is to say, over time, I have changed, and along with that, my preferences have evolved, my opinions more resolved about a thing or two about the fandom and things tangential to it. I’m rambling, but I guess what I’m trying to say is, I have read fics in this pairing that have become a part of me, and I may not get to mention all of them but I have cherish all of them, truly. LET’S GET ON WITH THE LIST

LAST SEGUE: I have a more extensive fic rec here, which also is in no way exhaustive. It gotta be like that sometimes.

1. Literally everything by jezziejay. No, there isn’t a fic titled literally everything, i’m just a cheater because she’s that awesome. I peer in my bookmarks on ao3, and I have written under Somewhere Only We Know the ff: “NOTE TO FUTURE ME: DO YOURSELF A FAVKR AND READ EVERYTHING THIS LADY WROTE AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR.” And I do, reader. I have an annual jezziejay retrospective. I can probably quote to you entire paragraphs of Strung Out on Heaven’s High (hitting an all-time low). I am forever amazed at how well-crafted the twist was in Make His Brown Eyes Blue. I just reread Dynamical Systems + its lovely minisequel today. I still dream of future sequels for The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews. Since then, jezziejay has published newer fics and we are so so blessed to have them: the faeries and elves AU, the Love Actually lost in translation AU, her Mr. Wonderful AU, her freaking Murder in the Nile AU which actually convinced me to read more Poirot lol. She balances humor and drama very well and she writes subtly and with deliberateness, that her fics are always perfectly paced for me. If there’s a fic of hers that’s criminally underrated, though, and which you should read right now if you haven’t already, it’s A Better Man, which is one of the best use of OCs I have ever read in fandom ever. Go (re)read it now! Anyway, I can make a top ten fic rec that can be all jezziejay, and it’ll be believable, so let’s just make item one, count for, like, 5 items.

2. a light-handed approach to regulation by hazel. The thing about this fic is, its full appreciation lies in knowing what the popular fandom dynamic is in 1988, and then reading this afterwards. It subverts the trope and the popular pairing dynamic in multiple ways: an omega Captain, the omega being Jonny, having these characters be self-aware of their dynamic and adhere to that dynamic and caring shit all about the conventions attached to it. At the heart of it is still Jonny and Patrick and their love for hockey and I LOVE THAT. I also have gotten into *coughs* friendly discussions whether or not i’m overthinking how brilliant the summary and the title is. Friends, you know who you are haha but I abide by my decision to interpret “a light-handed approach” and its summary “Patrick Kane has soft hands” as somehow referring not only to Patrick Kane’s soft mitts on the ice, but his mindset, his general philosophy into the entire alpha/omega matter and as to him being an alpha to Jonny. WHich IS BRILLIANT because I’m a fan of double entendres and I’m easy to please like that. Also probably read all of hazel’s fics, which are all wonderful and happy reads.

3. Call Me Royal Blue by cupstealer. I was mindblown when this came out, like how dare someone write so cleverly and funny and viscerally and 50k long??? Amazing characterization too! This fic will hold you down and make you feel feelings. 1988 has an abundance of good friends-to-lovers slow burn, so shoutout to my other faves: Orbital Resonance by fourfreedoms and joyfulseeker, The Importance of Swimming in Clear Water by turningterrific, Eyes on the Horizon by heartstrings, Just Maybe by altri_uccelli, Just to Break My Own Fall by Linsky’s, and lean a little to the left by demotu.

4. In the category of beautifully written and personally relatable: love songs for love songs by boodreau, You and Me of the 10,000 Wars by sahiya, safe to shore and Chelsea, Chelsea I Believe by empathapathique, I’m a sucker for fics where the characters, much like in real life, are A Mess, where their emotions or actions go against structured story beats and are pretty much organic. I like stories where the protagonists self-sabotage. I like it when they’re emotionally constipated, or when they hide inside themselves. I like stories where they strive and try to get better because there’s someone getting better for, because that’s the dream, right? Yes I am a drama queen at heart. Special mention to this deleted fic called we were in flames where Patrick and Jonny are long-time friends and lovers since college though Patrick can’t admit it--that story really stuck with me.

5. Here are fics with a touch of supernatural and which I completely adore: A Certainty I Envy by hatrickane, We’ve Waited For the Calling by allthebros, So Lift Those Heavy Eyelids by SimoneCloseau, these are the fables on my street by fahye, and a dainty dish set before the king by mockturtletale. There seriously needs to be more fantasy and supernatural fics in this fandom, because these are amazing and heart-wrenching and the idea of Jonny and Patrick braving and transcending the elements against them? A+

Special mention to my perennial rereads: You Make It Look Good, All Along the Undertow, Same Time, Same Place, love is a contact sport, 22. I may have forgotten many, but these are the fics that came to mind!

#Anonymous #fic rec #1988 #can you tell i wrote this to distract myself from the game lol

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fasterthanmydemons · 4 years

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🤡, 🥀 (Wanda), 😍 and 🐲 for the ask meme (hope the sick mun feels better soon! The transition from winter to spring sucks xDD)

(Thank you, I am feeling much better! Still coughing a bit, but definitely feeling so much better than I did earlier in the week.)

🤡 Do they have any phobias or irrational fears?

Pietro does have some phobias, although I would not exactly call them irrational. His phobias stem from traumas he’s experienced and aversions that he’s developed because of that.

Fear of falling: He’s not afraid of heights or falling over a ledge, but rather the sensation of the ground giving way beneath his feet or of falling into a large hole, like a sinkhole or something. This comes from seeing his parents fall into the hole created by the shell dropped on their apartment building when he was ten. Pietro has PTSD regarding this event for numerous reasons (as does Wanda) that has resulted in him having a very distinct fear of being drawn into or falling into a hole and dying. Even things like earthquakes or thunder that can shake the ground might send him into a flashback or panic attack, because he would feel the ground moving under his feet and immediately be brought back to that feeling he had when he was ten.

Fear of loud noises: Thunder, cars backfiring, transformers blowing, explosions, guns going off, things like that will make Pietro jump, become nervous, and maybe even panic. This is because it reminds him of the sounds of bombs being dropped and exploding, again taking him back to when he was ten, but also after Ultron in an AU where he survives, gunshots would be a traumatic thing for him to hear because there is so much pain and suffering attached to hearing those types of sounds.

Fear of being touched: Pietro has an extreme aversion to being touched by people he doesn’t know. I mean if he’s gotten into some girl’s good graces and a one-night stand is in question, he’s fine with that sort of thing, heh... and with Wanda he is always 100% okay with her touching him, but anyone else is going to get a pullback and maybe something more if they don’t stop. Especially soldiers, scientists, and doctors. This fear comes from the abuse he suffered in the Hydra laboratory. Pietro learned that when people come at him and try to touch him, it usually results in pain or something bad happening to him like being poked with a needle or a taser or something like that. So it’s a combination of fearing the pain or result of someone touching him with ill intent combined with the severe distrust he learned from Hydra that causes him to be wary of everyone.

🥀 How would they handle the death of a loved one? (Wanda)

(I will first direct you to the following post (x) and two starters (x, x) that I’ve already written about this subject, in case you want to read up about this huge ball of headcanons of mine in more detail. Since this is Anon and I don’t know who this is, if you’ve already read all those posts before then just ignore me, haha.)

The short answer is... not well. At all. Wanda is the most important person in Pietro’s life. That will never change, even if either or both of them marry, have kids, etc. Losing her would affect him even more than losing his parents, and that had a major effect on him. Nothing in the world could hurt him more than losing his sister. That combined with Pietro having a very old-fashioned and decidedly outdated view of masculinity means he’s going to react to that kind of devastating hurt with avoidance and anger instead of sadness and any kind of reaching out to others. He feels like, as a man, he needs to be strong and stable and basically impenetrable to emotional pain, and that unfortunately makes him view things like crying and being sad as weaknesses. The last thing he ever wants to appear to someone is weak.

Strangely enough, he doesn’t think that way with women or necessarily with other men, it is something he imposes on himself. I think a lot of it may come from years of taking the role of a protective older brother. If he’s getting upset and crying, then Wanda gets upset and cries, but if he acts calm and collected or at least like he’s not afraid or upset about things, then he feels like she’ll be more emotionally stable too. So he’s really either avoided or suppressed a lot of his “softer” and more vulnerable emotions throughout his life. If Wanda were to die, he would not want to be seen crying or sad or broken or anything like that. To mask this, he would project anger and defensiveness. He would push people away, have loud outbursts, punch walls, break things, get into fist fights, and really just be destructive and violent. And that would be a way for him to release everything he’s suppressing, although it certainly is not a healthy way to go about it.

I hate to get depressing, but I’ve mentioned this before... that Pietro might not survive losing Wanda. It would really take some attentive and persistent intervention with him to keep him from doing something drastic. He would honestly not ever want to live without her, so he would have to be convinced to do so and would definitely need to be on some kind of suicide watch. That level of intervention would have to come from someone he trusts and maybe even loves, such as a romantic ship or someone like Clint or Natasha that he feels relatively emotionally comfortable with, otherwise he will just push people away.

😍 How would they react if the person they fell in love with turned out to be non-human?

Pietro actually does have a non-human ship! Her name is Alice, and she is a “doll,” or a highly sophisticated synthetic human, written by a dear friend of mine over at @kitscompendium. Love is love to him, so if he loves someone, whether they are human or not, he will treat them with the same respect, attention, and care that he would a human ship. If he’s fallen in love with someone, then he loves them for who they are, regardless of appearance, race, origin, or biological physiology. So yeah, he’s very tolerant and open-minded with regard to that.

🐲 Were they afraid of monsters under the bed as a child?

Not at all, heh. In fact, Pietro was often Wanda’s first line of defense against said monsters under their beds as children, hahaha. She would very often get scared of things she imagined were hiding under her bed, in a closet, just past a window, down the hallways, or anything like that, and Pietro would play the hero and would explore all these places to scare away all the monsters. If that didn’t work, he would end up in her bed with her, holding her until she fell asleep so that she felt safe. But yeah, he was never afraid because he felt like he had to be the strong and fearless older brother for Wanda, so that helped him get over any fears he might have had early on.

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nadziejastar · 4 years

Text

Saïx’s Memories of Being Subject X

Yes. I think Saïx technically had a heart the whole time, it was just totally dormant. Isa’s heart (and consciousness) was asleep ever since he became a Nobody. It was similar to the Sora/Ventus situation. Ventus’s heart was dormant inside of Sora, which is why Sora never knew it was there. Since Isa's heart was asleep, Saïx always felt like he had no heart.

Day 117: Special Nobodies

Today it was me and Xigbar. Axel and Xion went out on their own mission. Xigbar told me that Xion and me are "exceptional"—you know, like, special Nobodies. Because we can use the Keyblade? Work dragged on late, so I didn't make it up to the clock tower. I wonder if Xion and Axel made it.

Depending on the stimulus, Ven’s heart was still capable of affecting Sora emotionally. For instance, Sora cried when he said goodbye to Hayner, Pence, and Olette. He didn’t know why he felt so sad. He just did. Ven wasn’t conscious or anything. Sora was just able to be emotionally affected by the bonds he had formed. I think Isa’s heart started awakening inside of Saïx starting around Day 117, called “Secrets”. And since the “secret of the heart” was that special Nobodies could grow hearts, I definitely think Saïx was included in that.

Isa’s heart was captured by Xehanort, but it was still causing Saïx to feel anger, jealousy, hatred, etc. It’s not that I think Isa himself was feeling murderous rage toward Axel or anything, though. It was Saïx, the Nort, feeling the pain of Isa’s heart and reacting to that pain by lashing out at the ones causing it---Xion and Axel, mainly. There was probably something similar going on with Terra’s heart inside of Xemnas, but that never got to be explored, unfortunately.

If Isa’s heart was freed from Xehanort, I think he’d go back to being himself. Just a normal person, like he was in BBS. He wouldn’t be affected by the hatred Saïx felt or anything. Since he wasn’t conscious, he wouldn’t have any memory of what Saïx was doing, thinking, feeling, during all that time. Since entering the Realm of Sleep, he was in a timeless dream state. So upon waking, he’d go back to being the same person as when he fell asleep. He’d need Lea to use the power of waking on him first, though, since he was in a lot of pain.

Day 193: Dreams, or Memories?

Author: Xion

I finally wake up, just to pass out again? Why? Because I'm a failure? I dreamt the whole while I was out. It was something nostalgic, but what? Why can't I remember? It could be a key memory from my human life. All I can remember is the sound of waves, gentle, in the distance.

In KH3, Saïx said that he was so enraged when Axel left him because he lost all sense of purpose. I think the reason Saïx started to grow a heart around Day 117 was because he was reminded of his true purpose. This was a key memory and it had a profound impact on Isa’s heart. But this memory was also connected to the failure that led to him becoming Subject X, which is one reason why the memory caused him to be so harsh with Xion. I’ll explain.

The Heartless appear in groups, and are multiplying rapidly. I've provided them both living and nonliving samples. They've responded only to the living. They seem to multiply after absorbing something from the living creatures. Their prey vanishes without a trace.

Unlike Lea, Isa was probably not that athletic. He seemed like he never fought a day in his life. He was considered useless and in the way and he was probably going to be disposed of. Maybe he was going to be used as a living sample to test the Heartless or something.

“Humph… all those in the way were rounded up and sent there, that’s all.”

Saïx is probably telling the truth. Those other members of the Organisation were in Saïx’s way… no, in our way. But, I wonder why I can’t help being sarcastic about it.

“Don’t tell me I was one of those?” Axel asked, laughing, and the scars on Saïx’s forehead moved slightly along with his expression. Looks like he didn’t appreciate that joke.

Lea offered to go in his place and begged them to give Isa some more time to become useful. Xehanort probably thought it was an interesting opportunity to study his heart or something, so they let him.

Every time he tried to wake up, all Axel could think was how badly he wanted to go back to sleep—although he was getting enough rest. He just wished he could have a day to himself and do nothing but relax and sleep. It was probably some remnant of his human memories.

During the experiments, Lea was probably exhausted constantly because he was trying to take care of Isa, along with himself.

Roxas got up and stared into space. He felt so…heavy. So tired and listless. Like he hadn’t slept at all. He just wanted to go back to sleep. Was it because of the dreams? But he dreamed all the time. Even if he couldn’t always remember them so vividly, the dreaming was nothing new. His reflection in the mirror was no different from usual. Maybe his eyes were a little red—probably because he was so tired.

It’s similar to how Xion was draining Roxas of all his strength.

“These Heartless here are the last, I think.”

“Xion, fight fight fight~” Axel clapped, as she turned around.

“What are you doing?”

“What am I doing… I’m praising you, you know.”

“You’re weird,” said Xion, laughing.

Just then, Axel suddenly felt like Xion’s face had blurred, and he rubbed his eyes.

“Is something wrong, Axel?”

“Nah…” For a second, the Xion I saw there had the face of… Naminé.

That’s why Day 117 was such an important day. I’m sure it was going to be shown in more detail in BBSV2. Isa’s purpose was to protect Lea. He was really motivated so he could be more helpful to him. Xion was doing really well fighting on her own after being dependent on Roxas for so long. And Axel was impressed and started praising her. And as soon as he did that, he suddenly saw her as Naminé.

Xigbar, standing and watching their exchange with his arms folded, opened his mouth. “You’ve been working really well lately haven’t you, Poppet.”

“…Thank you,” Xion replied in a small voice.

“Thank you? Why do you have to say thanks?

“Well, you were praising me, weren’t you? Was I wrong?”

“Haha… Yeah, I guess you could see it like that.” He pressed his hand to his mouth and snickered.

“Did I say something funny?”

“No, no. You’re fine.”

Xion looked up at Xigbar, anxiously. Beside them, Saïx didn’t show any notable reaction. He just watched.

A few days later, Xigbar started to tease Saïx by praising Xion in front of him, just like Axel did. After this, Saïx started to hate Xion. In the manga, Axel also praised Xion’s fighting ability on Day 117. And as soon as he did that, Pluto showed up.

“Xion has collapsed again.” Now Axel frowned. He sure had missed something.

“Did she get hurt or what?”

“No,” Saïx replied, any hint of expression vanishing from his face. “It’s just that the failure was functioning better than expected until recently.”

“‘The failure’? Is that what we’re calling her now?”

Saïx’s estimation of Xion seemed to have plummeted lower than ever. True, she’d lost badly against the Organization impostor—but that was Riku. Defeat was all but inevitable against him. Failing to carry out a mission was unacceptable, of course, but not impossible. She could always challenge Riku again. If the mission was so unsuited to her in the first place, though, Saïx ought to know better as the one in charge of handing out assignments. And Axel was beginning to suspect at least some of the blame lay with him.

And Saïx actually let Xion keep Pluto as a pet because he had memories of him and Lea playing with a dog.

Day 153: This Is Gonna Be a Hit!

Author: Demyx

I've got me a new hit single! X-face is always barking at me to work, but what's he expect me to do against a monster like that? I mean, stop and think about skill sets when you divide up the labor already!

The fundamental idea is the same. Day 117 was supposed to be a very important day because of the memories it brought up for Saïx and Axel. In the novel, Saïx was reminded of a time when Isa was fighting better than expected. He was probably feeling very happy that he could finally be useful for once. He had a sense of purpose. That’s why it was such an important memory.

“He worries too much. Thinks he has to help Sora do everything…” Axel grimaced in irritation.

“But, Axel, aren’t you the one worrying about Riku and Sora?” Naminé giggled softly.

“Me, worry? You think I need to be worried about those two?” He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child.

After the vacation, Saïx told Axel that he was too attached to Roxas and Xion and that he had changed. Then Axel said he was the one who changed. After that, Saïx was upset. In the manga, this is when he really started to have a very personal problem with Xion. It wasn’t just because she failed her mission with Riku.

“That Genie we met seemed really worried about his friend Al,” Xion remarked eventually. “But then he said he’d respect his friend’s wishes. I guess you can’t just jump in and do everything for them, even if you want to.”

“Your friend’s wishes, huh…”

Axel cocked his head in thought. He must have heard that somewhere, a long time ago, back when he was human.

He hated how much Axel coddled her. I think he was jealous because Lea used to be overprotective of Isa and coddled him that way. The plot of Agrabah was all about how best friends don’t have to be useful. All that matters is that you enjoy spending time together. I think that was why it was chosen as the world for Day 75 “Inseparable”.

“I want to go with you,” she told him in no uncertain terms. A slight frown of concern came to his face.

“Don’t you need some more rest?” Maybe he was still worried. But she wanted to get going.

“I’ll be fine. C’mon, let me tag along.”

Roxas took a few reluctant moments before giving in. “All right.”

The manga made it clear that the memories brought up on Day 117 were the same memories being recalled on Day 193, appropriately called “Memories”.

Roxas returned her smile. “It’s the first time isn’t it? The three of us, I mean.”

“Hey hey, this isn’t a game,” Axel reproached them, jokingly.

That’s right—missions aren’t games. “I know. I just want to make sure I can move properly,” said Xion, and Axel’s expression turned serious.

“Don’t push yourself too hard.” Xion nodded.

“Okay.” I won’t push myself. If I were to faint again, I would be totally useless. But if I’m with Axel and Roxas, it will definitely be okay. If anything happens to me those two will help me, I have faith.

On Day 193, Xion begged Roxas to take her with him on the mission. He was worried about her, but she wanted to be helpful after being asleep for so long, so he respected her wishes. Axel said he’d look out for her, too.

“You have a mission with Axel. Hurry and depart.”

“With Axel?” Xion turned to the Nobody in question.

Axel nodded jauntily. “Yup. We’re partners now.”

“Well, as long as you stay out of the way.”

“Excuse me? That’s my line.” Saïx watched their banter with a withering glare, which actually cut Axel’s laughter short. Xion noticed, too, and quickly assumed a more professional bearing.

In the novel, Axel teased Xion about not getting in his way, and this really annoyed Saïx for some reason. In the manga, the same thing happens, only on Day 193. Day 117 was unique because it was Axel and Xion’s first mission together, and Day 193 was unique because it was the first mission Roxas, Axel, and Xion all had together.

“Hey. Sorry I took so long.”

“You sure did,” Xion told him with a grin, slipping the seashell back in her pocket. “We finished our ice cream ages ago.”

Roxas sat down beside her. “Xigbar cut and run. I had to finish the mission on my own.”

“Sounds like you earned yourself the treat,” said Axel.

Not wasting any more time, Roxas dug in. Axel pocketed the stick from his own ice cream.

In the manga, Xion brought up her memory of watching the sunset on Day 193 instead of Day 117. In the novel, Axel knew that Xion’s seashell was similar to Kairi’s good luck charm, which represented their promise. Axel pocketed his stick at the same time Xion pocketed her shell. I think it was a hint that he got a WINNER that day.

“I can’t help?”

“Well, you’d kind of be in the way.”

“Okay. You win,” she relented and took something out of her pocket. “Take this.” It was a charm made of thalassa shells, five of them tied together in the shape of a star.

“I’m making them so even if one of us gets lost, we’ll make it back here safe and sound. …So the three of us will always be together.”

Axel was being a worrywart on Day 193. Of course, he was right. Xion collapsed and made Axel and Roxas worry. She was “useless” again and needed them to take care of her. When Axel told Roxas they were best friends, he specifically brought up ice cream.

And Xion was remembering the promise Sora made to Kairi to bring her lucky charm back. Kairi wanted to help Sora, but knew she would just get in his way. So she gave him the lucky charm so she’d still be connected with him, even if they were apart. Xion wanted to help that day, but she also just got in the way. Having Kairi’s memories is probably why she was so upset with being called “useless” and “failure”.

“Even if we don’t see each other, it’s more important that we think about each other all the time, anyway, right? …Got it memorized?”

Roxas grinned. “It doesn’t suit you, saying things like that.”

It would be nice if we could always be together… but that’s an unattainable dream. That’s why it will have to do to just think of each other.

Isa was likely the same as Kairi, which is why I think they could have become great friends---as much as Lea and Ventus were. Isa wanted to help Lea, but felt like all he did was get in the way.

“Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart,” said Axel.

Roxas and Xion shared a look.

“…Even if you’re apart,” Roxas murmured.

They trailed off, and this time Axel finished his ice cream. So he started talking again. “It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

This is my theory of what happened. During the experiments, Lea went off somewhere and left Isa behind because it was too dangerous. Isa was very worried. Lea came back safely and Isa was very grateful to him for protecting him. He wanted to show his gratitude by pulling his weight, so Lea wouldn’t be so exhausted. During the time Lea was gone, Isa trained to get better at fighting. He begged Lea to take him along. Lea didn’t think he was ready yet, but he respected Isa’s wishes. And Lea would be looking out for him, so it’d be fine.

I was careless. I don’t have a clear answer as to why Xion faints so often in the first place. Why was she allowed to go on a mission in this condition? The thoughts floated up along with regret.

When he fought alongside Lea for the first time, something very bad happened.

He failed, even after being given a second chance to become stronger.

Isa was severely punished for being so useless.

He failed the one thing that gave him a sense of purpose, which was helping Lea.

He also failed Xehanort and was shown no mercy.

Failure is the same as insubordination to Xehanort. So Isa’s failure was seen as disloyalty. He was a traitor---a recusant.

He was going to be disposed of for being so weak.

The experiments caused the test subject's heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle.

It was so traumatic that Isa collapsed and wouldn’t wake up. His mind was fragmented. He was thought to be “broken” and was probably locked up in the “graveyard” in the basement with all the other people whose hearts collapsed. Eventually he’d turn into a Heartless.

My pilot studies used a handful of subjects, but none possessed the fortitude to endure them. Ultimately, all suffered mental collapse. I knew it would be a heavy blow to lose a subject as unique as she.

Some time later, they probably noticed that Isa was not like the others. He didn’t turn into a Heartless. Only his mind collapsed, but not his heart. Thus, he became the unique Subject X---thought to be useless, but turned out to be the most valuable of all. He could be made into a vessel.

Am I alive? I awoke in a cell, alone until the researchers came with their tests and their prodding to uncover my identity. I had no answer to offer them. I could not even recall my name. I was simply called "X" there. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch.

Due to the extreme trauma, Isa developed total amnesia. His mind blocked everything out. He woke up with no memories inside of a dark cell. He was called “X” there. Then he was taken by Braig somewhere. The whole situation was extremely traumatic for Lea and it’s why he was so furious at Saïx that day for making him relive it. Lea thought Isa’s heart was lost and he became a Heartless. And he blamed himself for bringing Isa along on the mission before he was ready. I’m sure the sorrow and regret created a LOT of darkness in him, which Xehanort know doubt wanted to happen. It was traumatic for Isa, too, which is why Saïx asked if the past meant nothing to Axel.

Still, he needed the power of darkness to open these corridors. Without it, he wouldn’t be able to travel from Radiant Garden to other worlds. The darkness in his heart gave him that power, and he had at least enough for this. Was any human truly free of darkness in their heart? Wasn’t that the nature of sadness and regret?

By the way, this is why I think Axel's nickname was "The Flurry of Dancing Flames".

The dance of Lord Shiva or the Shiva Tandav is said to be a fearsome one, leading to creation as well as the destruction of the universe. When Sati, his first wife, killed herself by jumping into her father Daksha’s sacrificial fire, Shiva unleashed his grief and fury by performing the Rudratandava. Carrying his wife’s charred remains on his shoulders, he performed the dance of destruction. As he danced, wild thunderstorms arose, the sun shattered and complete mayhem was unleashed onto the universe.

It's a reference to the fiery dance of Shiva, called the Tandava.

#kh #kh meta #kingdom hearts #kh saix #kh isa #kh axel #kh lea #kh theories

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cleocazo · 4 years

Note

ultimate ship meme: calder n rhea yeehaw

ultimate ship ask meme / accepting !

General:

How long will they last? : when i think about them, i think about them going the distance. in spite of anything that comes between them ( usually their own doings, and yes, i’m looking at calder thorson for straight up ghosting ) i like to imagine they find their way back, eventually.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? : it’s weird, because it happens without either of them even realizing it is. she makes him smile, and he makes her feel… important. they do something for one another that no one else has in a long while, and they become very attached to the feelings they have in each others presence quite quickly - but love, and calling it so, evades them a little while longer.

How was their first kiss? : long awaited. sexy. awkward. it was the culmination of a lot of mutual pining, and it MEANT something - but it was also a lot very, very fast, and it went very far very quickly, too. their first kiss kicked off their first time ( and rhea’s first, ever ), so… big feels.

Wedding:

Who proposed? : they live in sin a few years, but eventually i feel it could go either way - but i think it would be very rhea and very sweet for her to propose on leap day, you know… entirely serious, but trying to give the vibe of ‘if you say no, this COULD be just a joke’. it wouldn’t be over the top. she’d try and treat him to something he liked, and she’d probably make a bumbling mess of it, all considered - but she’d get there, and it wouldn’t go horribly bad. he’d try to match it eventually and propose too in his own way ( at the aquarium, a la their first ‘date’? ), but he’d also mess it up a lil even if they were already engaged - so they’d have two wholesome if not funny stories to tell.

Who is the best man/groomsmen? : i would hope that by this point, the relationship would be… healed, enough, for it to be the remaining next gen. let daniel be best man and rylie and troy be groomsmen, it’s what they deserve. ( if phoebe barton is rocking around, she gets to b flower girl bc i said so )

Who is the bridesmaid(s) : meghan would be maid of honor by grace of being the only married person that rhea knows, and stephanie would fulfill a more traditional bridesmaid role along with the only friend i can remember rhea having, felicia.

Who did the most planning? : rhea and jane, together. imagine the bonding sessions to boot.

Who stressed the most? : rhea and jane, haHA.

How fancy was the ceremony? : considering one of them is royalty ( was, probably, at this point ) and the other an asgardian, they went full casual compared to past weddings in their families past. it was a very small gathering, definitely more reflective of them as people. rhea wore the white dress and calder donned a suit, the people fulfilling a role all took them seriously, but their ceremony was in a modest chapel and the afters in a function hall not too far away from. it looked beautiful ( rhea thinks calder’s mum has the best eye for such things she’s ever seen ), but it was done on a small budget.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? : i mean… i don’t think i gotta say loki, but… loki. rhea’s ‘dad’ sure was NOT.

Sex:

Who is on top? : to b fully honest… they both love rhea being on top. for him i can imagine it being about looking up and seeing her - not to b crass - riding his d*ck. for her, it’s something about the feeling of control. they switch it up because there’s nothing really like the opposite, for rhea ; but… yea !

Who is the one to instigate things? : varies too much to have any one answer at their best ( though for a long while, calder ).

How healthy is their sex life? : i would say very.

How kinky are they? : ‘kinky’ is a strong word. they experiment, as they get more comfortable with one another, and as they grow. they try diff things. sometimes they watch some dumb movie, i don’t want to name an actual movie and offend someone so ill just say ‘fifty shades of grey’ and they think ‘oh, that’d be fun to try’ and they do and it ends disastrously, but, like, who am i to judge them-

How long do they normally last? : how is calder’s bedroom stamina affected by him being an asgardian ? does it make it easier for him to last longer ? is he able to get it back up quicker ? i have questions, where are my answers.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? : yes, this is an equal opportunity household.

How rough are they in bed? : depends on the kind of fucking, my friend. both of them enjoy a little bit of roughplay - but that doesn’t mean it’s every time, either.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? : a lot. and calder is only the big spoon 40% of the time !

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? / How many children will they adopt? : i’m combining two qs in one because… i feel they’d have three full stop, but how many of those are natural / adopted could be up for debate. something to discuss someday !

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? : calder. rhea’s, like… ‘totally fine’ with them, but… also, that’s dad’s job-

Who is the stricter parent? : it honestly varies on child and on the day. o might tell you that it’s calder because he stopped him from doing something wildly stupid, and he’s still pretty butthurt about it. tova might tell you it’s rhea because she didn’t let them dye their hair bright orange when they were nine and they’re still holding a grudge about it.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? : honestly… their kids are pretty dumb ( love them ), so… neither? they come home w broken bones or whatever and calder and rhea are like how in the fuck-

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? : rhea ! she never got them as a child, or, u know, basic human affection, so… she packs little notes of affirmation in each one even when they’re old enough to call her cringy, and makes sure they get all their essential nutrients every day.

Who is the more loved parent? : much like the question of who’s stricter - it varies. for the most part the title goes to rhea, not for any particular reason outside of her being more open with her feelings and being more… emotionally present, i suppose the term would be. but tova’s favorite will always be calder, and the boys can vary.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? : they want to go together, but it depends on work for them both and other varying factors.

Who cried the most at graduation? : rhea thinks it was her because she was a blubbering mess, but calder was real up in his emotions about it.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? : rhea never gets the chance, and calder is always first in.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? : rhea, after she learns how. not to show my jane stan, but she learns a lot from the most intelligent woman in all the galaxy-

Who is the most picky in their food choice? : pretty decisively rhea.

Who does the grocery shopping? : they take it in turns, but rhea isn’t as trusted doing it - she caves to the kids demands way too easily.

How often do they bake desserts? : once a month or so, but for the most part they are a carton of ice cream in the freezer family.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? : calder’s a meat lover, rhea went vegetarian sometime in her senior year and never went back.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? : calder ! softie.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? : neither. they like staying in, let them have that peace.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? : calder. absolutely lethal man. only ask him to make soup.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? : calder, for the most part. rhea says its because he can reach all the shelves to stack things / his arms don’t get tired from hoovering / etc.

Who is really against chores? : she’s not against them per say, but rhea doesn’t love ‘em.

Who cleans up after the pets? : oh, that’s a rhea job. she’s the reason they have ‘em, she’s responsible for care.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? : rhea.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? : also rhea.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? : calder.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? : calder with showers, rhea with baths.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? : rhea is in the routine, but the kids would join her and if he’s around, calder isn’t opposed to it either.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? : rhea goes all out every single year, almost to make up for the fact that calder doesn’t entirely… get the holidays.

What are their goals for the relationship? : happiness ?

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? : rhea, usually. calder if he’s been busy.

Who plays the most pranks? : the kids.

#pocmuzings #answered #c: rhea windsor #opp: calder thorson #ship: the last pretty girl & the last decent man #honestly i demand answers

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stallionsoul · 5 years

Text

RELATIONSHIP & PERMANENT PLOTTER CALL.

In alignment with her debut for the anime, please take this relationship/permanent plotter call!

(TRAUMA & PTSD MENTION BELOW!)

For those of you who don’t know too much about Fruits Basket, a quick overview is that there are 13 cursed zodiac members. Rin has the spirit of the horse whenever she hugs or is embraced by men and same idea for cursed male members with women. Of her clan, Rin is initially a very rigid, untrusting, and hurt individual. She has a strong sense of right and wrong but can be naive due to wanting to do things on her own, accepting help even at her own expense. She’s prone to illness and body aches due to trauma she experienced in her early childhood. She also has some degree of PTSD and is triggered when she’s pushing at her mental and physical limits, which unfortunately is a lot.

Beyond that, she is a kind, overprotective girl who wants nothing more than to break her family curse. Her being in Spirale is stressing her out because she is hyper-vigilant and that any moment, something bad will happen to those she cares about. Once she does get used to Spirale however, I can see this guard going down and her wanting to protect the people here and her new home.

So that’s a bit of her!

That being said, there are many ideas floating in my head for threads and types of relationships with her! Before I begin, let’s get the technical stuff out of the way. By liking this post I have your permission to:

Message you via IMs and plot things between our muses! I would very much like that you have an idea in mind for what type of relationship you’d like with Rin, but otherwise we can work on that stuff together! We can have a full on “first introduction” thread or plan for “semi/pre-established”, whatever the circumstance I am all ears!

Tag you during Meme Days or spur-of-the-moment type starters? Again, depending on our muses’ relationship with one another, but still offering it as an option!

Talk via Twitter DMs or Discord (please msg me for it!)

Do light plotting between our muses! I don’t like to go down the book, line-by-line, but I do like to have a general idea of what we will do with our muses.

And without further ado, time for Relationship Types! Listed under a Read More for length.

Acquaintanceship:

The very minimum which is okay. Rin doesn’t like small talk, so even this level of relationship is difficult. She doesn’t go out of her way to know your muse, but over time their relationship can develop into anything else! She does her best to keep her distance, as she doesn’t want to get attached for any reason. That, and she doesn’t want others to get attached to her. If they were working together or taking classes, she would just do the bare minimum.

Friendship:

This would take some time to get to. She has walls upon walls upon w a l l s. She refuses to let people in as much as she wants to. While she’s tough on the outside, on the inside she longs for companionship and to be close to others. So once she gets friends who’ll accept her and treat her with respect and understanding, she will be your friend for life. She’s overprotective and thoughtful so if your muse is ever in trouble or needs support, she is there for them instantly. She’s a bit tsun, so she will act like she doesn’t care at first but she’ll show that she cares in her actions and her presence. One a friend, she will be a friend forever.

Found Family:

This makes the mun misty eyed because her deepest desire is to have a family who cares for her. After her parents disowned and abandoned her at a young age, she’s been searching for that parental/familial love for most of her life. She technically has a parental figure in mind BUT! It never hurts to have more? If not parents, she is the best big sister type for younger muses. She cares for children so much and will protect them with all that she physically can. This also includes spoiling them (even if she denies it), arguing with them as a big sister might, and possibly teasing them if they bring it upon themselves. She could also be a younger sister type for older muses? In her canon, she does have a couple older relatives she does look up to!

Unrequited Love / One Sided:

This has always been something I wanted to explore even with other muses, but I would love for Rin to experience one-sided love or for your muse to experience for her! This is a specific thing, I know, but I can definitely see Rin harbor a crush on someone and not have it returned. She is drawn towards kind, soft-hearted individuals and would absolutely wish to receive their love. That being said, because she refuses to let her emotional walls down, she won’t be easy to sway. That and because of her cripplingly low self-esteem/self-worth, she doesn’t see herself being acceptable of love or acceptance, so she will have feelings all on her own. These feelings will go away as she gets to know your muse, but when she does feel that burning longing, she harbors it deep and will never let it be known by your muse.

Romantic:

I have HC’ed Rin as being bi--so this is an open playing field! Like the above category, this will be SUPER DUPER HARD TO OBTAIN. Rin has nonexistent self esteem in the romance department. She has only ever been with one person but I pulled her canon point from after she broke up with him, so that wound is a bit fresh. While she loves him dearly, where she ‘diverges’ from her canon is that she doesn’t see herself getting back together with him. I feel it would be nice for her to move on and to experience love again, no matter how long that takes. Rin is extremely hard on herself and refuses to ever let herself be loved again, let alone romantically, so while there are budding emotions between her and your muse, she’ll continue to deny them. It will take a lot of coaxing, support, and patience to be with her. Once they are together, however, she is the most loving, supportive, sweetest, affectionate girl. She’ll be prone to tears and deep blushing, so prepare for that haha. There’s definitely got to be chemistry between our muses, but she does prefer kind, gentle, (kinda dumb of ass energy), and emotionally intelligent individuals!

Enemies:

There can be VARIOUS ideas with this. Rin is easily confrontational and prone to anger, so it would not be difficult to fall into this category. It comes off as a defense mechanism/survival tactic when she distances herself from your muse and sees them as a threat, it’s definitely easier to manage. They may not see eye to eye on certain things, or perhaps your muse is a garbage human being and enjoys inflicting pain onto others. Either way, if you’re Rin’s enemy and continue to rub her the wrong way, there’s a slim to 0% chance of her ever forgiving your muse. She may not be a fighter, but if she’s provoked she will try to fight back.It won’t end well for her, I can imagine. She’s a bit more bark than bite, but when she bites, she bites hard. She will hold some fear or anxiety being around your muse if they continue to pursue her or aggravate her.

Manipulator/Manipulatee:

On the subset of enemies: because Rin, at times, can be gullible if your character is persuasive or a master manipulator, she can fall under their whims in exchange for something she may need or want. In canon, she tried to go against the head of her house, only to be punished for it. I put this here because as much as I love Rin, I am curious to see what kind of stress she would go under if she was to meet other, terrible, abusive muses who would not hesitate to use her for their own gain. THIS BEING SAID: THIS IS ONLY FROM AN EMOTIONAL/MENTAL STANDPOINT. IN NO INSTANCE WILL THIS BE SEXUAL / DUBCON.

Other?:

Anything outside these categories? Let me know! Mentor/mentee, Boss/employee (if she ever gets a job!), Coworkers, non-humans (she feels like she is because she can transform into a horse), rivals? Whatever idea you got, I’m open to listen!

#long post #♞ ooc - ᴜɴʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏᴜʀsᴇʟᴠᴇs #isola starter call #isola rp ad #isola plotting call #TWAS A LOT!!! but please take this and get to know my horse girl... ; _ ;

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