#i am surprised there isn't more

[mari-lair]

Yes!

Aidairo thinks so too:

Both are bad at opening up, they can't be upfront about their feelings. In this panel is about confessing to their crushes, but it applies to any vulnerable feelings: They don't want to talk about it or appear vulnerable, ever.

Aoi and Hanako mask their insecurities with a playful/bubbly smile a lot, not letting even their closest friends see them being 'weak' and immediately coming up with distractions or excuses so that their friends stop focusing on them.

Both act as if dying would be wonderful but they just hate themselves and want to stop having to exist with themselves. They are both the same brand of cowards.

They love their very few friends but they also look down on them, as likely to be inspired and in awe of their loved ones determination and kindness as they are to resent it.

They hate themselves and think their precious people are "too good for them", that they are unlovable by comparition, so they self-sabotage themselves, but they can't stand the idea of being alone. Willing to run at anything but still clinging desperately to them.

They are both extremelly possessive. To the point of being pathetic.

Hanako gets touchy and flirty, Aoi gets salty, it is a very different approach, but both of their worlds crumble when their crush is not making them their priority. Regardless if the person that caught their attention is someone they trust, it isn't good enough, no one is good enough, it has to be them, regardless if they don't consider themselves a 'good option' (which kind of feed into their self hatred)

bonus that is more of a funny coincidence than a similarity, considering how vastly different the context is: Their suicide plan involves stabbing a loved one in the chest (akane would have died if he was in his human form)

#there is probably more similarities but those are the ones that come to mind #considering how much hanako absolutely despises himself #I am not surprised he isn't fond of Aoi and that he adores akane. #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #aoi akane #akane aoi #hanako #kou minamoto #yashiro nene #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun

[fly-sky-high-arts]

My art summary 2023

January:

February:

March:

April:

May:

June:

(still available on my kofi as a wallpaper btw~)

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

December:

#my art #art summary 2023 #wahoo #I... honestly am surprised there isn't a lot #I mean i'm not I know why that's the case but #looking at all of the work at once it really feels like so little #and I mean that in a very neutral context #more like 'huh. guess that's all I did'

[caluupin]

Finished TGAAC around 2 1/2 weeks ago but only finished the doodles today. but still, here ya go!

#caluuart #art #dgs spoilers #dgs2 spoilers #tgaa spoilers #tgaa2 spoilers #ace attorney #the great ace attorney #tgaa #dgs2 #not tagging characters bc it's a lot #RAMBLE TIME. so ever since I finished dgs2 I have been listening to the soundtracks and MAN these bang so much #esp as a person who plays the piano and likes music. it's just. good. yeah. some of these do give me psychological dmg tho lmaoo #like kazuma's nocturne theme or his prosecutor theme. or the secret trial theme.... the partners - the game is afoot! theme.... I am normal #WHICH SPEAKING OF! man I love the sholmes + mikotoba partner twist so much even if i got a bit spoiled about it. i just think they're neat. #The partners of all time I think. #Also also the found family!?!?!? I am A SUCKER for found family. they fed me so well. #funny thing was the barok character development surprised me despite the fact that I also expected it since the first game lolol. #I do think he's an interesting character and probably one of the best character development in the game. And that I find his design cool. #oh yeah I didn't draw it but when I saw that albert mentioned that barok is “the darling of the van zieks family” I was genuinely like. #huh? wdym. like man at the time “van zieks” and “little darling” feels wrong in the same sentence. that was until I saw his pre- #-trauma pictures n well. albert isn't wrong. which was a slight surprise to me. #In conclusion: I liked it a lot. and now occupies parts of my brain along with my other brainrots. #They fight for priority in my brain whenever I try to sleep or disassociate lol. Well at least there's more material to think about. #off topic time: arlecchino animation. for the sake of the tag's length I'll just say a few things: #I am very very interested in her story and oh my god father. #My brain has stopped braining now; good night my fellows

[scooterpengie]

Um is this an innuendo in the Shrunken Rescue comic??? 😭

Maybe I'm just dirty minded but like I genuinely can't think what else that line could mean??? (They're referring to Heed's bedroom btw)

#Villainous #villanos #Villainous a Shrunken rescue #miss heed #scooter speaks #i hadn't seen anyone else comment on this please lmk your thoughts! #honestly this cartoon gets away with a lot so i wouldn't be surprised #am i just being stupid and they're actually talking about something really obvious? #delete later #still tryna get more comfortable posting stuff that isn't art

[bonefall]

NGL: Stuff like Brambleclaw being a terrible namer is like. really fun but also kinda hits with the 'he;s not some meglomaniacl villain hes just a shitty guy'. like. you could see squirrelflight finding that really endearing. IDK if this is some mastermind shit, or if i'm just reading wayyyyy to into this, but i like how you give characters that are pretty bad dudes very humanising qualities. Especially when they're silly/cute. Kinda reminds you that like. theyre like. a person. well. cat but yknow. and they chose to do bad shit, with influence from their past, rather than being inherently terrible. 👍

YEAH MAN, that's what I'm SAYING

Abusers, ideologues, and other terrible people are not masterminds. They aren't born evil. They're not inherently smart OR stupid. They can love, they can be funny and polite, they do things they believe are justified and want to be good people. They don't think of themselves as villains.

Evil isn't complex. It's really, really not. I feel like that's the #1 cause of confusion when I get a question like, "Why does this person do this malicious act, when it's bad/inconsistent/mean?" The answer is always simple;

They wanted to control someone.

They wanted something and didn't mind who they hurt.

Spite and short-sightedness.

Look for anything deeper and you will not find it. Heroics are complex, being a good person is ongoing and changes over time. We're in a constant state of growing. Malice is childishly simple; it feels good to get what you want.

With Bramblestar especially... it always goes back to what I said here, when talking about the idea of an Evil!Bramble. He's a person, and you ruin everything that's so interesting about him by stripping away that nuance. Squilf and Bramble loved each other, truly, and legitimately. He can be charming. He can be nice. He still hurts her. Reconcile with this.

He is not wiser for what he went through, as a child. His pain doesn't make him better. Man's just a jerk... that's it.

#Sparkpelt deserves that scene from God The Devil and Bob #Where Bob finds out his dad isn't in Hell #And it INFURIATES him #If you haven't seen that scene btw you should. I really love that series #Especially if you're religious OR are like me where you aren't but are still fascinated by more human takes on biblical figures #Btw just... as a side note I am intrigued by how many of my followers are christian. It surprises me? I love you guys tho but like... #I really don't hold back in my critique of hierarchical religion #I'm glad that I am respectful enough to not alienate you guys though #I'm glad you're finding something meaningful too #I am an A-A-A-ATHEIST though with a hard ATH #I just never thought I would have so many religious people following along #OH BTW I hope all my Jewish followers are having a meaningful and somber Yom Kippur* #Bone babble #* = edited I'm an idiot

[sensazioneultra]

bad buddy week day 1 ✰ favorite character PRAN PARAKUL

Is it even my job to be responsible for your feelings?

#badbuddyweek #bad buddy #bad buddy the series #asianlgbtqdramas #asiandramasource #dailyasiandramas #asiancentral #pran parakul #pran #nanon korapat #thdrama #thai drama #nico.gif #i wish for 2 things to happen one day: #1. photoshop AND tumblr don't ruin the quality of my gifs (one can dream) #2. i find the courage to use people's tags LMAOO i just feel so annoying and like my stuff isn't good enough </3 #anyway . YES i am late already #is anyone surprised #idk if i'll even manage to make more sets for this week #we'll see i guess :sob: #i love you pran <3 i love all my children equally but pran... he just. yeah. #you know.

[miahasahardname]

i found a super old drawing tablet which, naturally, ended with me drawing women all day

#i'm not super proud with the 2003 april drawing but that's the first thing i drew so i was getting used to the whole thing #i LOVE this drawing tablet i am definetly going to use it for mspaint drawings #i'm surprised it works because i think the most recent thing it said it could work with is a windows 7 and like #i don't have that! #it's cool i have many fun doodles i also drew #dunno if i'll share #depends on how many doodles i make later #the first drawing was inspired by a transfem rise leo fic i read #it isn't perfectly written but HEY the coming out scene made me feel things!!! #ESPECIALLY the pronoun switch with “so she ran away” MAN!!!!! #this isn't a recreation of a scene (there isn't really any context to it?) i just wanted to draw my favourite girls together #speaking of i need to draw the aprils more #i LOVE mutant mayhem april i am not going to apologise for the woman i become when tales of the tmnt releases #tmnt leo #transfem leo #because. yes #tmnt april #april o'neil #rottmnt leo #rottmnt april o'neil #2003 april o'neil #tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt 2003 #mspaint #i hope the quality isn't too destroyed for these because i will cry

[beanghostprincess]

Why is shanks/buggy so underrated in this side of fandom? It’s much more loved in Japanese one, one of the most popular for shanks. I feel like this one prefers other mlm options for him and I don’t get it. It got better after OPLA I think but still. Sorry for my English!

Oh! This is actually such an interesting question. I was talking about this the other day and I came to a conclusion with my friend about this. Basically, there are a lot of things to take into consideration here. The screentime, the age of the characters, the chemistry, how they're perceived by the fandom and canonically, etc etc etc.

The first thing I thought about was the screentime, honestly. Shanks and Buggy grew up together and they have a deep bond, however, we've only seen that through flashbacks (one in quite literally episode 8 of the anime, another one in Wano that isn't even about them and they're just side characters in this flashback, and in chapter 1082 of the manga. But it's not even a proper flashback because we already saw that when Shanks talks to Whitebeard about Buggy, it's just Buggy's interpretation of it) and we only have like one scene of them together that isn't even two minutes long. So, quite obviously you'd think "well, the ship isn't as popular as other ships because they barely have any screentime" and I think it's correct but also not quite. And also, this would also have to apply to the Japanese fandom at the end of the day. Fandoms don't give a single fuck about screen time if the chemistry is right, really, but there's always this factor, y'know. Lawlu has less screentime than Zolu and yet it's more popular somehow because people absolutely love their dynamic. Then, if you stop to think about it, both Satosugu (Jjk) and Soukoku (Bsd) have the same dynamic and concept as Shuggy, but they're by far the most popular ships in their fandoms. They're basically the same ships but Jjk and Bsd give them proper development and story because they're shorter series. One Piece is a long show and we still have many things to see, even if we know it's gonna end soon, so I guess that we'll still have to wait to see more of Shuggy. Once we do, I'm sure it'll become more popular. Also, Shanks' personality is very diverse because he's all mysterious and all, so I kind of understand why people don't want to make content because they still don't have him figured out.

But then again, screen time isn't really the problem. It's just one of the factors. If they had more screen time, they'd be more popular for sure, yes, but it's not exactly what makes them less popular in this side of the fandom. Otherwise, it'd be equally as popular on the other sides too. The Japanese side of fandoms is different from this one and tbh they often don't take into consideration things like cancel culture and proship discourse or the standard beauty regarding age because they just post whatever they want and scroll past what they don't like (god I fucking wish we were like that because I am so done with these things). Besides, isn't Buggy like a very beloved character over there, aside from Oda's favorite? At least from what I've seen, they take his character way more seriously than this side of the fandom does, honestly. And it bothers me because he's such a complex and great character, and people never see it because they use him either for memes or to keep saying "omggg turns out the clown is hot!! Can you believe I want to fuck a clow-" yes, Samantha, we know you want to fuck the clown. It's not weird. It's not new. Do you even like the character, at least, or you're just using him to say how kinky and quirky you are? (And I don't even care about the sexualization of characters because, again, fictional characters are fictional characters and you don't have to take everything so seriously. I have tons of characters I don't like that much but only stan because I find them hot and that's alright. But damn, it bothers me sometimes).

Anyway, with this, I wanna say that there are other things to have in mind when talking about this.

Recently (I know it's not exactly new but in fandom years? Recently) there has been a huge thing surrounding the term "old men yaoi". People are so down bad for middle-aged men and they see two of them together and they instantly go "omg they're soo married" but that's- That's it? That's just it. They don't even ship them, they just find the concept of older men hot because "omg he's such a dilf" and they want to fuck both of them. But they never end up doing anything with it. They try to be so groundbreaking like "ohh I am SO woke by shipping these two old men! See? Breaking stereotypes!" because both irl and online, age has always been a very stigmatized thing. Apparently you can't be in a fandom if you're older than 25 because then you're weird, and if there's an actress older than 50 she's instantly useless for the industry.

What I want to say with this is that most people in the fandom are young. They're young and they like attractive, young, hot people and they don't want old, unconventionally attractive men. They don't want them unless it's to give a "hot take" and to be super progressive and woke. Do you know what they like? They like Dilfs. They like Shanks because he's conventionally attractive and good with kids and he's the standard for a Dilf. Because he's hot and mysterious but also silly and quirky and "he's almost forty that is so hot something something daddy kink". And they don't want to see him fucking someone his age because God forbid this man has a personality outside being a Dilf. Younger people in the fandom constantly read y/n fics regarding Shanks because they want him to fuck them and not Buggy. And they can't project in these old men, so they publicly say "oh, Shanks and Buggy are so married" because it's just a fact the fandom made clear, but they don't really like the content. Because liking Buggy sexually, apparently, is just so weird. Or as a character. Nobody wants to say their favorite character is the failguy clown. It's a hot take when you say that Buggy is hot because people keep being all weird about it when... Uh... He's- He's just a clown. Guys. It's not weird. Or bad. Who raised you to think that? God, I find Monet extremely hot and she's half-bird. Could we please normalize these things? They're fictional characters. And also, stop reducing Buggy to his jokes or the fact that he's a clown because his character is GREAT and complex and it just bothers me so much.

This makes me think about this whole "background couple" thing. Which are basically couples that are canon or that are so popular and obvious that people, instead of making content for them (because why would you make content for a canon couple?) just place them in the background instead. There are so many fanfics in which Shuggy is a background couple. Or studies in which, instead of analyzing them, they're used only for parallelisms. This happens with, idk, Saboala? Frobin? Yamace? People don't like couples that everybody agrees on. They don't like m/f ships because they can't be woke!!!!! And queer!!!! (when they easily could but whatever). They don't like ships that everybody likes because!!!!!! They're canon already and why would you write about them???? And so, Shuggy stays a bit more as a side couple instead. For being old and unconventionally unattractive and not having much screentime, but being extremely popular. Not in a "content" way, but in a "knowledge" way. Even the general audience thinks their bond is crucial to the story, c'mon.

One of the differences that this side of the fandom has with the Japanese one, as I mentioned before, is the cancel culture and proship discourse thing. They just don't have that concept. And that's perfect, honestly, I wish we could just scroll past what we don't like too and live peacefully because the discourse is getting tiring. And also you have to admit that, because of the anti propaganda going around, now fandoms have turned into the most puritan thing in the world. Beware! Sex! Age difference between fictional characters that have a consensual and healthy and mature relationship! Oh! God forbid teenagers have sex with people their age! Ohmygodjustshutup. And so, Shuggy isn't a problematic ship. Not even close. But inside the OP world, people do say they are brothers. They keep talking about each other like that, too. And I don't even think it's the typical "we say they're like brothers so you don't think they're gay because they're both guys and guys can't kiss" (I am having flashbacks from the IT fandom). They do have the same parents. Like- We all agree Shanks and Buggy were both raised by Roger and Rayleigh and they consider them, if not their dads, parental figures at least. Right? And you're aware that doesn't make it incest, right? Both things can coexist. Foster families are a thing. Lots of people who grew up together and consider the same people their parental figures end up dating because they don't see each other as siblings. Well, most people don't see it this way and hear the word "brother" and run from it like it's a fucking virus. The Japanese side of the fandom doesn't give a fuck because they're fictional and because they're y'know, not brothers? And even if they were, cancel culture and proship discourse is so fucking stupid to them because they follow the "don't like don't look" thing. But on this side of the fandom, a lot of people see them as brothers and the other half sees them as a divorced couple and apparently nobody knows how to fucking read this manga and have a proper fandom experience without jumping to each other's throats at the minimum disagreement.

So, to summarize: People on this side of the fandom don't like Shuggy THAT much and it isn't such a popular ship in comparison to the Japanese side, because young people don't like older men together, they don't focus on unconventionally attractive characters, are afraid of any little possibility of cancelation, and also, well, Shuggy doesn't have much screentime anyway so there's not much we can do with that.

#oh shit this is long #and i think i got a bit carried away #but yeah i am surprised the ship isn't more famous tbh #also have in mind that people read the manga but a huge side of the fandom are anime only and chapter 1082 is quite important for shuggy #and please PLEASE if you start discourse right now for the proship/anti thing i am going to jump off a bridge do not do that it's dumb #i got a bit angry at the end i am sorry #one piece #shuggy

[usareiis]

ALSO adding on to my last post I have seen a bunch of people around all social media say things about the state of shoujo anime in recent years all along the lines of saying there are less shoujo anime bc women's perspectives and stories are viewed as less profitable than shounen and that's probably not untrue in terms of executive's reasoning but also every time there is a shoujo anime made literally all I ever see people talk about are the guy romantic partners and if anyone says anything about liking the woman main character it's always through the filter of saying things like aww the guy loves her so much and it's like. The girls on the shows aren't talking to each other about anything but men the audience isn't talking about anything but men etc. You want women's perspectives. But the only perspective you want is to only keep talking about liking men.

#and i guess i should add the qualifier here that i am talking about shoujo romance bc it is a really broad category #and not saying shonen romances are perfect even though again shonen is a really broad qualifier and a lot of shonen romances are written... #...by women. but there are a lot of romances in shonen where the girl characters are THE focus and they all get a bad reputation for... #...~the male gaze~ and um at some points you guys are just using that to never talk about a woman ever more than you care about how men... #...view women per se. someone will get me. #stuff like the apothecary diaries i saw a fair amount of people really lovr maomao and i was surprised by how much attention a female... #...character was getting in the broadest anime circles but also 90% of posts about her in the tag here at least are through the filter of.. #...talking about how much jinshi loves her or for every sentence i see about maomao there are still ten about the guy #and the romance isn't even the most prominent factor in that story from what the anime has shown of it #like. it's both frustrating that the mass public only wants to talk about really specific kinds of girls or they go completely out of... #...their way to never talk about girls under the guise of caring about girls's stories?

[kitsquared]

The beautiful thing about picking pokemon in this AU is sometimes ill pick them for one thing and then find out info later that makes it even better

Like with Dazai taking in Oda's Eevee. Dazai doesn't see the need to evolve his pokemon and even uses it as an advantage but he evolves Eevee into an Espeon which requires a Dawn Stone and high friendship.

There's all the meaning behind that. However, its typing which is Psychic didn't matter to me until i looked up the pokedex entry and

Well, of course you can predict moves. Who was your og owner.

___

Then there's Sigma whom I gave a Trapinch/ Vibrava. He wakes up in the dessert so I thought i should give him a pokemon found in that terrain.

In my experience, I saw Trapinch and thought what cute lil guy but generally thought of them as okay and didnt realize all the ground/dragon Flygons came from them.

So. For Sigma akhdkska. Give him the ant pokemon that turns into a dragon type.

He has the second evolution which is Vibrava. Later on i checked the pokedex entry and...

Okay???? Whatever???? Just. Use it as inspiration for your resonance gun i guess??

Can't keep surprising me while I make these?!

#Was considering giving him a chimecho but i guess not? *hmphs #this post is more showing how clueless i am but also pleasantly surprised #bsd pokemon au #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd odasaku #bsd sigma #(kit)^2 #also evolution isn't a requirement so it's fine that Dazai keeps his other pokemon as is #except for that magikarp who i want to evolve into gyarados by its own accord akdhskls #and yes i have already thought how to bully ango with this info #pokemon AU: Main Route #im also emotionally spent this is the most i can post rn

[coquelicoq]

wild to me how the english translation of natsume is just. largely out of print i guess?? like half of the volumes you can't get ANYWHERE for love nor money, not even on amazon (unhallowed be its name)! i've found like five sites that sell print volumes and they've all got the same selection (vols 1, 2, 17, 19, 27-29, sometimes 24-26) and if you want any others you are SOL. though what's interesting is i'm pretty sure last time i looked it up a few months ago, you couldn't get volume 17 anywhere either. did they do a print run just of that volume?? total mystery.

#and then amazon does have a handful of volumes you can't get anywhere else (used) but they're selling for $40 to HUNDREDS #OF DOLLARS??? the volume with yorishima's intro is going for $251 😭 #i went so far as to look up the french translation and of course THEY are all in print and selling for 8 euros. i'll be real. i am tempted #it's nice that i can read volumes online but i really want to read them in bed before i fall asleep and i just cannot do that w e-versions #i guess i'll just check back in every few months to see if they've decided to go back and reprint any old volumes idk #and probably go back to checking them all out at the library. but the thing is the urge strikes me suddenly and i want to read them #immediately #this is such a non-problem i'm just. surprised i guess? i understand this isn't a hugely in demand series but it is #still running...and they're making a new season of the anime...idk idk i just expected it to be more accessible #take my money viz media!!! #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou

[strawberrymothteeth]

if i got into an art show would y'all like to know about it? like uhhh post where it is and shit? it would be the first time i would be selling prints too. what leftover prints don't sell i will sell them here.

#teeth chattering #tbh i don't think anyone really is gonna purchase anything #idk i always feel like my work isn't that great so i can't fanthom anyone want to buy a print and put it on their walls unless it was #fanart related. #which like i know fanart sells but idk but i am surprised how well forget me nots is going #there are more people invested in forget me nots than i thought #which i am always grateful but also oh uhhhh i thought i would have more time. #just pulling a miyazaki/fujimoto and just uhhhh making forget me nots up as i go tbh. #only way i can make content really. no outline idk the ending just gonna keep writing and then figure it out. #tbh i just storyboard the whole chapter and then i edit it while making the pages.

[procrastinatorproject]

New game: Share your three best fanworks. No thinking, just the three that instinctively occur to you. Then copy-paste this ask to anonymously share with as many people as you want.

Okay. A) I love this! Thank you so much, nonnie, for a brilliant idea!

B) Whoof. That's tough 😅

Without thinking:

My very first fic. It is finished, it has pacing, it has an arc, it has an actual story... The prose might need a bit of polishing, but I think it's still some of my best work!

My most artistic fic:

I just... I don't know. I feel like it's very personal and almost has something lyrical about it and I feel very deeply about it, even if it is perhaps a little pretentious.

The third one is hard, though...

I'm very torn between something like A Night at the Opera, which I'm still extremely proud of, In the Palm of his Hand, which I love and hope to finish one day, and even The Cake is a Lie. Though the last two are probably not nearly as good in their current published form as they are in my WIPs, where I have additional material that really adds A Lot to them 😅

But I feel like I also want to put one of my metas here, because I have a bunch of those and they're important to me and feel like they're out of contention for this sort of thing. So here's my probably favourite bit of meta writing:

I love Rios and Agnes! And I find their budding relationship fascinating and gentle and lovely and want to think about it more. And this was such a great way to look at their interactions and psychology, and to explain why I think they make sense together.

(Also: it always reminds me of the incredible "Your Light on Me" by @regionalpancake and the gorgeous Love Comes Softly by @smhalltheurlsaretaken, which is essentially the same argument but as an amazing fic (and gorgeous podfic by @thelaithlyworm). And these kinds of connections always make everything better 🥰)

#lili's writing adventures #thank you for the excuse to indulge in my own writing for a bit :D #i think i'd probably also put 'snow day' up there? but it's too new to know what I'll be thinking about it long-term #i'm always a bit surprised that i have posted more stories (and meta) than i think #but also i clearly have greater fondness for my earlier work. i should probably try and figure out what that's about 😅 #but i think i'm slowly starting to enjoy this whole Writing thing again so that's something #anyway #thanks nonnie #this was very nice #star trek picard #star trek la sirena #cristobal rios #agnes jurati #agnebal #(yes i am also shocked there isn't a holo centric fic in this. I think Night at the Opera is a very close contender for my favourite fic #but it's not the one that springs immediately to mind when i think of my 'best' fic) #it might be... but i'm not sure

[nostalgia-tblr]

and another thing about that movie

This bit would have been such a lovely opportunity for some wholesome mother-son bonding via sweet, sweet regicide.

Don't you think?

Go on, you can be each other's alibi. I would normally recommend not having any witnesses to such deeds, but the odds that your mother or your son will decide to rat on you for the murder you did together are probably lower than average.

Sorry, did I say murder? Of course it wasn't murder. He just died. Look, there were two of them in the room, surely one of them would have noticed if the other had done something like that? What, don't you trust them? It's his wife and his son! He can't have been murdered by his wife and his son!

#thor (2011) #i should maybe stop saying things like “sweet sweet regicide” but it's just such catchy phrase isn't it? #it is actually a bit surprising how few kings have been murdered by their own queens. even unofficially. #i am SUCH a big fan of dowager queens who rule through their sons. have i ever mentioned that? love them. what queens! literally! #sure her son's too old to need a regent BUT i bet he'd listen to her ideas and advice a lot more than her husband ever did. #and if she wants an extravagant countryside retreat built with misused public funds then this would be her chance! #(i must apologise to rats. rats don't grass. i've had rats and i asked “which of you ate the hammock?!” and none of them said a word)

[luvsavos]

random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently

#mar.txt #it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one #maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get #maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important. #maybe it's just the all-consuming，gaping hole of loneliness within me #idk. #i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it #feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction #a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro，but willing to be in a relationship provided the other #person isn't bothered by them being aro，bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings #i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the #only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of #actually caring #'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things #because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they #could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting) #and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends #the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to #me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance #i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad. #to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much. #i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's #most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love，yeah? ha. #maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships， #those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have. #anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the #burden of feeling such intense，suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly. #i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.

[flecks-of-stardust]

[image description: a crochet doll of a very round Radiance. She is roughly spherical, has a three pronged crown, a pair of wings each with three fronds, and round yellow eyes set into a black heart shaped mask. Everything about her is rounded and soft, though her eyes are ovals. end image description]

Orbiance

i saw someone’s radiorb plush in the main tag and was hit with the realization that i, too, can make the roundest radi to ever moth. she’s the biggest thing i’ve ever made thus far, which is... fitting, i think. her crown was surprisingly easy to wrangle into place, but i won’t complain sfjkghjk her face took more effort, honestly.

it’s interesting trying to simplify a design as layered as radi’s down into what is essentially a fancy ball. i thought about adding more fluff to her wings, but honestly, the triplet wing-crown-wing probably makes it cuter. also, from experience with the wooly aphid, adding more fluff just tends to look weird, so eh. simpler is better sometimes.

also, there is a surprise under her...

[image description: the underside of Radiorb. Two tiny triangular legs are attached there. end image description]

she has secret legs :)

(don’t. uh. mind the background. i picked a weird skurry stream to watch.)

#hollow knight #my art #crochet shenanigans #radiance #O R B #i worried a little about making the design a little too close to the one i saw in the tag; i know they're selling their work too #but ? it's probably fine? and this isn't going to be sold anyway #i don't see myself making more of these. she's so big #the legs are part of an attempt to make it more unique but also because i thought it would be funny #and i was right. it's hilarious #it's like the thing where you lift a bird up and it's like surprise! legs! #anyway i hyperfocused on making her and i am starting to regret it #nearly 3 am. should've done this tomorrow but welp