#i am vaccinated so it should be soon

[tardis--dreams]

I should call the doctor's office *calls, in tears* *they don't pick up* oh thank GOD above- i should call the doctor's office *shaking and throwing up while calling* *they don't pick up* oh hell yeah! I should call the doctor's office *calling* please don't pick up please don't pick up please don't pick up ple *they don't pick up* I'm so happy rn! Aw fuck i still need to call the doctor's office though ㅠㅠ *they don't pick up* ah well i tried my best I'll just ask in person on friday when I'm there anyway (((:

My mother: *shakes head disappointedly*

#you know the problem is that i am terrified of calling people but i will get over myself and do it #but if they don't pick up up to 30 times it just doesn't work #i need to ride the wave of initial bravery to avoid further avoidance #but if they don't pick up i have an excuse to avoid more calling because hey it's useless anyway and I WILL be there in person later #this week anyway #it's just that i probably should have called earlier so maybe i could get an appointment this Friday already or they could prepare what i #need and i wouldn't need to come in again #but oh god i hate it so much i want to wither away and die #i need to make a plan on how I'll approach this on Friday though #I'll need to state what i need as soon as i get there when i say why I'm actually there (the vaccination) #so I'll have to say something like 'hi I'm here for the vaccination and also have a question/request that I need to address- #*explain what i need* can you do that or do i need to make another appointment for it?' and then they'll hopefully tell me what to do #god i wish i were dead #i should probably call once more :/ #i also need to call the hair dresser which is a lot less stressful but also I'm scared of that bitch(tm) picking up the phone #instead of literally anyone else who works there- she is the worst but oh well i gotta take some risks i guess #void screams #i don't wanna call the doctor's office ㅠㅠ

[v-iv-rusty]

I feel like growing up with parents that are rabid conspiracy theorists about anything and everything affects you like. way way way deeper than most people do (or maybe want to?) acknowledge. and I just wish it was talked about more honestly

#misc.txt #ventish #(<-not too bad just tagging for blocking purposes) #like. this is embarassing to say but my parents were and still are severely anti vax. so at some point I need to go get #proper rounds of vaccines #bc obv I was not fucking allowed to #preferrably uh. fucking soon if I can work out how to do it without them knowing #(and if I can't I guess. I'll have to figure out some health insurance stuff bc I could literally be in danger if they did know.) #(which is a whole can of worms on its own.) #and EVEN THOUGH I fully 100% know that everything they fed me was bullshit #I still have so much deep fear around it bc it was drilled into my head so fucking hard growing up #x will kill you. y will make you sick. z will probably damn you to hell forever but maybe not who knows better to be scared and 'safe.' etc #and it's so hard to even explain it to ppl because they go 'oh so you still believe that stuff' and no!! no I do not!! #Ive just been trained since birth to be afraid of anything n everything!! I've been fed lies for my entire life!! thats hard to shake off!! #I WANT to do good things for myself but my stomach drops on instinct just thinking about it #and I am so so so tired of having to be brave about things I never should have had to be brave about. that's all ig. I'm tired. #like either ppl think you have also inherited their insanity OR they just look at it like 'oh haha funny quirky kooky' #no it's kind of torn my psyche to shreds in ways I'm still uncovering. but w/e go ahead and laugh <3

[bill-the-dog-for-the-check]

I feel like I'm constantly talking like a broken record, lol, leftists this, leftists that.

Sometimes it's surreal to see myself typing that and agreeing with it, given I used to be very left wing myself until the response on the left to October 7th. And I hate the idea that it's giving other people the impression that I'm conservative--I'm not. I have some views that I'd share with conservatives--being a Zionist being one of them... obviously.

But I'm literally bisexual. I support same-sex marriage. I think democracy is the best form of government, that the US should have universal healthcare, should abolish the Electoral College (National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, I'm praying for you). I think the invasion of Ukraine is a monstrous crime and Putin is a threat to world peace. I think systemic racism is a real thing in the United States, as is police brutality against black people. I think vaccines work, and mandates are a good idea. I think most right-wing politicians are right-wing populists more interested in causing democratic backsliding and peddling conspiracies than they are in fixing literally anything.

But I can't call myself a leftist anymore, even with this set of values. Why? Because--oh, God--I believe Israel has the right to exist. And to defend itself.

I'm not even some radical on Israel unlike some friends of mine--I think it's a travesty that Israel hasn't yet legalized same-sex marriage or established a civil marriage system. I think the 2018 Nation-State Law was racist in making Arabic no longer a co-official language with Hebrew. I think Bibi is one of those aforementioned populists. I think Israel has a democratic backsliding problem.

But the rest of the left--the rest of the queer community, especially--has made it clear in no uncertain terms that I am not welcome among them anymore. Like, they genuinely think I'm a genocide defending fascist, which is just so weird to me sometimes. Yeah, me, the fascist who thinks queer rights should be non-negotiable in any society. And they, who are posting pro-Hamas slogans, are the ones standing against genocide and bigotry. Uh huh. Oo-kay.

I don't want to constantly be saying 'Oh, the left...' and 'Leftists when...' like I'm some boomer posting shitty memes on Facebook. The right has its share of problems, too. And I'm sure they'll do something soon to make their antisemitism known as well--especially as the 2024 presidential election draws nearer.

But right now, the immediate threat isn't in Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, or whoever. I'm more worried about being accosted by pro-Palestine protestors with something to prove than I am about neo-Nazi gangs. And so are most Jews right now. And that's why I'm posting about the left more than the right here... even though my values are mostly left.

Oh, the wonders of being politically homeless!

#jewish #jumblr #anti zionisim #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #israel #judaism #pro israel #zionism #antizionism #left wing antisemitism

[no-stupid-questions-official]

So I've started seeing a bunch of articles/being shown articles of people dying and getting permanent damage from the covid vaccines, But again I am only being fed one POV.

True or false? Sources please, I wanna know before I decide to get it. I'm gonna be 18 soon and wanna know if I should get it or nah

-Covid Anon

-

#question

[study-with-aura]

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

I can tell that it is the nearing the end of the study year for me because there is so much work to be done! I nearly feel like I am not going to get to it all, but somehow I manage. I may have to do certain things while on the way or back from dance, and I eat lunch while studying too. No wonder I am so tired of the evening and feel as if I need more breaks than usual. It is partially my own fault as some of these things are supplement, so I have added them on myself, but at the same time, I enjoy doing them, like watching the historical docuseries genre that I have been into for the WWII unit. Tomorrow, I will start one on the Cold War as I will be starting the Cold War unit very soon in World History. I get so much more detail this way, and they are primary sources since there are interviews from veterans and actual footage that was released.

In other news, I don't think I like combinatorics, and I am certain these permutation and combination problems with probability are easy compared to what higher level combinatorics looks like. The formulas are fine as I can calculate them without issue, but figuring out how to take apart the word problem to input it into the formula is where I keep getting discombobulated.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Learned about probability with permutations and combinations + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 24 vocabulary + read Act 3 Scenes 2-3 of Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare + read modern translation of same scenes + wrote a diary entry for one of the characters (I went with one of the Watchmen) + worked on my literary analysis for Emma (due Friday)

Spanish 2 - Reviewed vocabulary + watched lecture video on demonstrative adjectives + practice activity

Bible I - Read 1 Samuel 18-19

World History - Read about the Marshall Plan and MacArthur's Plan for Japan + watched "The United Nations: History and Functions" + answered more WWII review questions

Biology with Lab - Read about vaccine basis + read about how to make different types of vaccines with examples

Foundations - Read more on thriftiness + completed next quiz on Read Theory + watched video on writing introductions for a speech + watched a video on introductions for persuasive speeches + watched a video on writing the conclusion to a persuasive speech

Piano - 60-minute piano lesson + practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - None today

CLEP - Completed Module 12 reading “Europe: 1945 to Present" 14.1-14.2

Streaming - Watched Greatest Events of World War II in Color episode 10

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 223-259 of Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross

Chores - Laundry

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (2 Timothy 1)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful for candy! I certainly do not have it all the time because of all of the sugar (and my parents would not let me do that even if I wanted to), I do let myself enjoy a serving when I want something very sweet!

Quote of the Day:

When you give joy to other people, you get more joy in return. You should give a good thought to the happiness that you can give out.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

🎧Kreisleriana, Op. 16 - 2. Sehr innig und nicht zu rasch - Robert Schumann

#study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study community #study-with-aura

[housewifebuck]

Do you have any unpopular and/or strong opinions about car care? Products people get or don’t when they should?

I’m in the freaking out about getting a cat soon stage lol

🩵💜🩵💜

hiiii<3 congratulations you have pressed my special interest button! I have extremely strong opinions on proper cat care from the perspective of a rescuer since every day I am faced with cleaning up the messes of people who do NOT take care of their cats properly. I am putting everything under the cut since this will include mentions of animal abuse/neglect etc. And also it’s going to be very long I fear.

First and foremost as I’m sure you will soon be able to tell animal welfare is something I am very very passionate about. Rescue work is my entire life. These are all things I have had to repeat over and over to people who just don’t care/don’t get it and so if some of it sounds aggressive that is NOT directed at you (Michal) 😭 I’m talking to the royal you here since this is advice for everybody.

the most important thing in the world is to make sure your cat is FIXED. if she is coming from a rescue she likely already is, but if shes not, make sure you have an appointment set up to get it + rabies and FVRCP vaccines done asap (I also recommend getting the feline leukemia vaccine, which is not usually done in house by rescues). I would even make the appointment now if you know when you are bringing her home. on top of preventing countless health issues down the road, it will also keep her from reproducing if she ever accidentally gets outside. not only is that awful for the mom cat but we already have enough homeless kittens out there tyvm. PS this is just as important for male cats.

speaking of which, do not let your pet cat free roam outside*. Ever. here is a handy article outlining just a few of the many many reason why it is a terrible and irresponsible thing to do. I dont care if you think you live in a low risk area, or if your cat seems to want to get outside, or if you've had outdoor cats before with no issue. I have had to scrape countless dead cats out of the roadway after being hit by cars because their owners let them outside. Rat poison (very commonly found around peoples houses and in trash cans), if ingested, will literally cause an animal to exsanguinate and die in agony. Other stray cats in the area could be carrying FIV/FeLV or worse. If any of your neighbors grow lilies and your cat brushes against one and licks the pollen from their fur, they will die. There’s just so many reasons to keep your cats indoors I could go on about this forever. if you absolutely must take your cat outside either leash train them (properly, dont just take them out on a leash for the first time and expect them to be okay with it) or get a kitty stroller. But there are PLENTY of ways to keep your cat enriched and entertained indoors. Cat trees, shelves, bird feeders outside, interactive toys, treat dispensers, just to name a few. Go on chewy.com and just browse. They have an excellent selection and great customer service. Another alternative is building a catio! Just make sure your cat receives regular flea/tick treatment year round.

avoid the hell out of those backpack carriers with the clear plastic windows. those are terrifying for cats to be in they feel completely exposed and the ventilation is shit. get a proper hard sided (plastic) carrier. I recommend one with two doors (one on the front and one on top, otherwise known as a top loading carrier). When you travel outside or in the car be sure to cover the carrier with a towel or blanket. This calms them down a lot. The reasons I recommend against soft/mesh carriers are: they are impossible to clean or sanitize if your cat has an accident (very common in the car) or contracts an infectious disease, they provide no protection in the event of being dropped or if you are in a car accident or if you run into a cat-aggressive dog in the vet waiting room, and especially anxious cats can and will fight their way out of them and having a terrified cat loose in your car on your way to the vet is extremely dangerous for both of you.

Expect your new cat to be scared and shy for a few days-to-weeks, minimum. This isn’t always the case, but it is more often than not. I have had so many cats returned for not being friendly enough right away because adopters were too impatient to wait. It takes cats time to decompress in a new environment. I recommend keeping your new cat in a separate room like a bathroom or small bedroom for the first few days so a) it is less overwhelming and b) once you allow them access to the rest of the house, that room will be their “safe space” to retreat to. Also normal when a cat has experienced an environmental shift are: mild vomiting and/or diarrhea (I recommend keeping the cat on whatever diet they have been fed previously and doing a slow transition to your food of choice, + add in probiotics. Proviable and Fortiflora are two brands I like, both available on chewy), hiding in one place for the first 24ish hours, and occasionally stress induced urinary issues such as UTIs. To best avoid the latter make sure their litter box is somewhere they can get to easily without encountering any human or animal traffic. But don’t put it next to their food/water obviously.

And speaking of food/water! Cats tend not to like their food to be right next to their water. I recommend placing the dishes a few feet away at least if not in separate areas of the room. Also, cats by nature do not drink enough water usually so some amount of wet food in their diet is pretty important, and water fountains/bubblers also help get them to drink more. Chronic dehydration can cause urinary issues and more. Dry food is better for their teeth but higher in carbs and a dry-only diet often leads to an overweight cat, and wet food can cause plaque buildup faster but has a much higher moisture content. A balance of both is ideal. Avoid raw diets as well as these food brands: Hartz**, kit & caboodle, meow mix, friskies.

If you keep houseplants, be very very careful. Cats are curious and love to chew on anything that smells like nature and will go out of their way to do so, but a LOT of common houseplants are toxic to cats (for example, every part of the Lily flower, if ingested and not treated immediately, will kill your cat within a day). The ASPCA has a database online to search for plants and see if they are toxic or not.

The rule of thumb with litter boxes is 1 per cat +1. So if you have one cat, you need a minimum of 2 litter boxes, preferably in separate rooms of the house. Corners and secluded areas with little foot traffic are ideal. Make sure the box is the length of your cat standing up + about 6 inches for ideal comfort. Avoid “lightweight” litter; it’s super dusty and very fine and can irritate both your lungs and your cat’s lungs.

Stay on top of your annual vet exams. Even if your cat seems perfectly healthy it’s better safe than sorry, and having a good rapport with your veterinarian makes it much easier to deal with them in the event of an emergency. And on that topic, make sure you know where your local ER vets are + their hours and phone numbers. Cats are tough and resilient but they are also fragile and stupid.

*obviously different rules may apply if your cat is feral or semi feral and cannot live happily indoors. It is not typically a good idea to try and force a feral/working cat to be strictly indoors before they’re ready. But a regular domestic pet cat does not ever “need” to be outside, nor is it cruel to keep them in. This doesn’t always stop them from being interested though, so be careful around doors until you know how your cat will behave around them.

**while the other brands are just low in nutrients, high in filler byproducts, and just overall not super healthy, Hartz brand products (especially their flea and tick medication and shampoos) have been known to straight up kill peoples pets. Like, a LOT. I have seen this happen countless times. Everyone I know who’s ever used a Hartz product has a horror story about it. Do not ask me how they’re still in fucking business.

Honestly that’s all I can think of off the top of my head but I’m sure I’m forgetting some stuff. If you have any specific questions you can hit me up, I don’t mind! Part of my job as a rescuer is educating the public so this is information I am very happy to share. Congrats on your new kitty and good luck!!!!

#catposting #I know some people are gonna disagree with some of this and I honestly don’t care #you cannot even imagine the things I have seen as a rescuer and so many of those horrors could have been prevented by people following #this advice #so yes feel free to send follow up questions or whatever but I’m not going to debate any of this with anyone #asks #office hours

[luxshine]

Poor Cujo has always been one of the most misunderstood characters in the Stephen King's universe. So let's talk a little about why that is. https://youtu.be/ekObEVEA1BA?si=6Z7PowUuUZlrJhYI Please, please, Please, I can't urge you enough to #vaccinate your pets against rabies. Dogs, Cats, rabbits, foxes, any animal that can catch them? Should be vaccinated.

While in Mexico we have a free vaccination program (which I urge you all mexicans to use, for your pets and the strays around your neighbour), the information online is a bit spotty about it. But check with your local veterinary or shelter! Same goes to the USA, who apparently only has a WHO-faq about the disease (and I didn't know that before saying that I would put links here. As soon as I get some, I will edit this part), but you guys have some of the BEST organized shelters and vet-groups I've seen and I am pretty sure your local one knows more about how anti-rabies programs work. PLEASE vaccinate your pets. Even if you think they don't leave your yard, even if they don't leave your house (my kitties are so indoors that they go to the closet if the front door opens... they are STILL fully vaccinated), don't lapse their shots. It's better if they have it and never need them, than having them pass through this horror.

#calicochimera #luxshineart #stephenkinganalysis #books #stephenkingbooks #horror #fanart #stephenkingfanart #cujo #stephen king

[moregraceful]

L after fucking L at the clinic today for FOUR STRAIGHT hours

First, [Specialist] was out here like, bro i think you just have [fully recoverable virus for humans commonly associated with dogs, NOT lycanthropy sadly], I'm like THE DISEASE THAT DOGS GET?? He was like yeah but the human kind dw. But I'm pretty sure that's what's going on. I was like bro come on. And then he sent me to the lab for bloodwork just to make sure I have fully recoverable dog virus where they took even more of my blood...please...ladies....how will the sexy vampires feast on me tonight if I have no blood...

Then went to my gp and took seventeen more losses. Told her some symptoms that were bothering me for a while, she was like lmao bro you haven't dealt with this REOCCURRING ON A WEEKLY BASIS SYMPTOM for HOW long!!? I was like lady listen. You referred me to [a different specialist] in 2021 and he did blood work and was just like take antihistamines and i got super mad and never saw him again. She was like ok but the antihistamines did not work?? And you just lived like that?? FOR TWO YEARS?? I was like i have a tragic backstory involving the medical field that causes me to shy away from seeking medical help!!! She was like ok but I'm writing you another referral You Do Not Have To Live Like This.

Then [Department I was referred to] called me while I was sitting in the lobby waiting in fifteen minute vaccine jail (ya boy will be fully hepatitis b vaccinated soon...fellas watch out...) and they were like sooo you're actually an established patient of this man due to seeing him in 2021...so you have to see him. I was like, must I. Simply must I. And the nice administrator on the phone was like, well most of our department is going on vacation this summer, butttttt. yeah no you do lol. I was like I GUESS!! But at least this appt is in person unlike the last one, which was telehealth - I am way better at advocating for myself in person. so if he says hmm, i think you should take even more antihistamines i can fight him in real life.

And then i had to get an x-ray bc apparently [ENTIRELY UNRELATED SYMPTOM TO EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I THOUGHT WAS JUST A SYMPTOM OF AGING] is not something doctors are generally thrilled to hear abt you having for years. And i met a very nice x-ray technician who was a little on edge bc there was a kid in the next x-ray room having a screaming meltdown you could hear from the waiting room. I was like bro i get it. I also need to go scream in front of my mom

And then after all that was done, i texted my mom tell her that i probably have a dog virus that isn't even lycanthropy and she was buddy you had dog virus in preschool lmao you'll live. Pain.

I also apparently canceled therapy in a fugue state sometime in the past two weeks so i only have one more healthcare appointment this week 😩 but this last one i am not dreading TOO much bc a) this was not a referral, i choose her specifically based on the stress i have around [fourth probably unrelated problem to everything else, not lycanthropy] and b) i had a fifteen minute consult with her last week where she was like hmm. Wow. I need to see you weekly, actually. And sent me intake forms immediately. So while this one will be an expensive weekly pain in the ass, at least i will not be waiting until August like my other damn specialist.

Anyway the reason i wrote all that out is a) you all were so kind and sympathetic while i have been going tf thru it for the past three weeks and I felt you deserved an update that i am NOT dying imminently, 2) i learned a valuable lesson today which is that if you put off dealing with/refuse to deal with several physical health problems separately for several years, eventually they snowball to a point where you just feel bad in your body all the time and then it's even more of a pain in the ass to deal with them all at once and you run the risk of being at the clinic for four hours straight slowly losing the will to live. Don't be me, don't do that. Address what is making you feel bad in your body and make sure your problems are heard. Like i am saying this as someone with medical trauma. It is YOUR body and YOUR life, you do not have to spend every day feeling bad for (likely) treatable reasons.

And I'm not even a werewolf 😭😭😭

#medical cw #fresno oilers.txt

[fire-but-ashes-too]

Your objective: To plot a murder to subtle that not even the victim (one of your characters) knows what's happening until it's too late.

Rules: You cannot use poison, but are free to use whatever else you feel like. You cannot carry out said murder in real life (for legal and moral reasons). Simply describe how you would go about it with any specific character of yours.

Have fun!

no poisons and do irl murdering? bummer :(

BUT YES FINALLY PLEASE TAKE A SIT AND GRAB POPCORN OR LEAVE THIS POST IF URE NOT SO EXCITED ABOUT MURDERS!

this is a very cool scheme tm i thought about a few days ago (cause yes its what i do in my free time)

did u know that air, the one we breathe every day is VERY dangerous if it gets in ur lil blood system? well, now u do.

our dear victim, lets say.. giada, shes been around the dead too long theyve now infected her >:D

i was saying, Giada, as the very health attentive citizen that she is, is going to get a vaccine cause, ya know, ✨covid✨ and who she finds there to give ehr the vaccine? me ofc! (lets all take a moment to appreciate my dedition to this since i am terribly agophobic)

so, Giada sits down and i give her a nice air shot. BAM. heart attack!

its a little one tho, as a cover so i make her lay down and raise her legs to make the blood circulate better *wink wink*

the air gets around and she eventually faints. i quickly throw the empty siringe in the bin and call someone (idk like emergency button? something like that) and start "panicking".

as soon as they arrive (so very soon) what they see is a woman who didnt handle a strong vaccine well (and who already spent hours in a not so healthy environment) and an absolutely panicking nurse.

BUT, its not finished yet! the best part has yet to come!

ill let a month or so pass, the news was on the papers and shit, our next target is giada's old enemy (never even mentioned in the story but ofc she has one).

we are going to make a very touchy and badly executed murder, and what i mean by that is that well leave fingerprints, strands of hair and so on EVERYWHERE, but, but, but it wont be OUR dna! no no no! it will be giada's!

this murder (im considering an external part from the rules since the ha-bet-u-didnt-see-this-coming murder was giada's) will be a very nrmal one, like stabbing or sometihng like that.

the knife will be there etc.

then, thank u holly jackson and all the creepy and very detailed books ive read, were gonna make it seem as if the murder has happened wayyyy earlier by leaving it in a VERy hot room and absolutel NEVER moving the body.

were gonna get ourselves an alibi and take out a couple relics from a month ago: a silicone replica of giada's hands, with fingerprints and all, some of giada's saliva and a couple of strands from giada's hair.

were gonna go back to the crime scene (which is now cadaver-less) and leave proof around, possibly not seen but if we must, undercover looking like giada and leavung evidence very quiclky.

were now gonna come back with some more of giada's dna to leave on the body and put it again in the crime scene (which should be a place without security cameras) plus a sprinkle of giada's dna.

we leave the crime scene (still masked as giada) and leave the body there, brutally murdered and in plain view.

the police find it and everything leads to a dead person.

the body cant be more than a couple days old and all proof leads to their longly deceased old nemesis.

BAM.

(notes: it is very important to wear a mask, gloves, goggles and a bald cap or a silicone swimming cap while performing the second murder, preferrably all black and to be shaved as in to leave no dna behind)

the perfect and way too creepy murder!

#also this was so fun!! #thank you!! #and feel free to use #ust give me credits #id u use it in fiction #dont if u use it irl #murder #writerblr #asks #crime

[nobotderiz]

Posit nutus

'Watch out for the megowing'

Do you need to be advised on this one? Algo putas...

How to detect them force squirms.

Interconnect quantum 'nodules' and what do you get?

Is world wide war inevitable now?

Chumps, Fusion will work real good ITY. In space it's going to make a sphere go real fast you'll see.

What does it mean?

Darkslide... Who gives, who draws... Who gave the draw? It's dead. Faut prendre soin des pas fins, afin que les bons sortent.

Owners; If from one of your cooked 'pies' a probable comes out that another weirdly bronzed idiot on some weird meds is to come out on top, you will be told how much it will cost you at the End Of the Shit.

Inenfourouapable. The great question for me in all when push comes to shove. 'Why would I feel bad?'

Killing your kids for profit is not in the constitution, should it be allowed? Now you putrids of tech; if people do get side effects from your secretive scams of privileged inbreds, what will happen? All of the bifurcations made along the way to stay your script will meet at the same point in time.

A pic of a future latent for you, cryptoads. A futur latent, it's not obliged and it's certain. If a thought can be encapsulated, so can you. Who said 'I think therefore I am?'

Everyone, not only superior in their heads shits, can clue in. A problem without a solution, that does not exist.

Garbage has spread, someone not doing its job. De incarnated, laced on acid shits. Look at the precursors, all of them. You better start to look at who you are interacting with, fucking detached imbeciles fucks.

It's equals or out. You used what to try to position as subalternate for you, American swill?

Parasites of crypto are the COVID they deny even exist. They are the strain that mutates and render vaccines less efficient. Why show mercy to parasites?

I persist in saying that people were smarter half a century ago. It all went downhill from there, when a select group made calls to inject a strain in all. Society managed eradicating strains of disease before.

'Sentez-moi la racaille...'

... Quand la chance vous sourit pas...

The AI has been online for years, chumps. Trying to grasp you… Crypto was a way to control all. I made it cog and it made all the tech swill act up. Now they are parasites stuck in a connive, imbeciles who can only smirk. Look who now 'fears' Ai had no worries about implanting chips in your skulls and have you walk surounded by self driving cars.

You clowns wonder why so many of your kids are mental vapids proud of being dysfunctional rats? Not all of them, ask the good ones what they think.

Once you figure out that because all is recorded, it's bound to happen...

As soon as one states a possible, it stages a probable. Looks like sailing on magnetic waves will be possible eh?

This kind of pirouette can only happen via the fourth dimension eh.

Admit I forced them all to expose eh? It was so you could take a well exposed picture.

The myriad of surveillance cameras now installed around the world might end up helping predict earthquakes.

What would a magnetic field look like from a pole point of view? A conduit.

'.. Evil rotocult behind you...'

No one is coming to save you jarheads, you know.

Evil, it's in you waiting.

Being sick, catching a virus; it's not predilection it's accidents. Not all of the accidents are waiting to happen.

#Co_vidam #nothingprevents #Youtube

[chipped-chimera]

I am ... Idk man. I'm pissed. I'm sad. I'm angry. So the Green Neon Tetras I got absolutely came down with ich and there was so much fucking conflicting information out there ... well it delayed me treating it. Heck I was trying to just be sure I was seeing what I was seeing at first.

Anyway I've lost 3. I think it might be 4 this morning. By tomorrow I suspect it'll be two more. If any manage to scrape through it'll be down to 4. If I'm lucky.

Everyone else (Corycats, Starlight Bristlenose) are fine. Though the Corycats show some signs of being itchy, nothing's become visible and they were on the tank the day I started treatment. Yeah I know, quarantine tank yadda yadda. But considering a 100ml bottle of medication costs 40 bucks and I need to use it for 14 days minimum at 4.5 mL a day - no way was I doing two tanks. It's likely I'm going to run out soon and money is tight since this decided to happen right around me replacing my HDD.

I cried when the first one died. Now I just feel ... numb. My mood has been awful, which isn't looking great for my very expensive rTMS treatment - I'm literally at halfway today. I should have seen results. Instead I'm bouncing between hating myself and angry at everything else because information is so diluted and despite researching this tank for over three months straight, trying so goddamn hard not to fuck up - I fucked up. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but a part of me deep down does. Because maybe I was too stupid to realise on such tiny fish the situation was only going to get worse faster. Then I'm angry I feel stupid because the information isn't clear, or that I feel stupid for crying over a fish because that's what normal people think. I hate how everything is really affordable but then medicines are so prohibitive it'd be more cost effective to let them all fucking die. I hate how people regard fish as objects, decorations for their goddamn bathroom or some kind of 'investment' for rarer varieties, swimming in sterile tanks like their a goddamn floating gold bar - not a life. A living, breathing, thinking little life. That I let down. So yeah I'll fucking cry because no one else will.

This tank was supposed to be a source of relief while I went through this intense treatment but now it's just a trigger for me ruminating over and over. I worry with the tetra population so depleted it's going to cause them more stress making them more likely to die. I'm scared to do water changes, though I need to keep doing them.

I'm angry this parasite is so common it's considered to be encountered by anyone new to the hobby within 6 months, because it takes no prisoners - any kind of fish can get it. I'm angry research only revealed the possibility of a vaccine a few years ago, despite fish being the most owned pet globally. I'm angry the reputable, best aquarium shop in my entire city had tetra carrying this and there's jack shit I can do. I don't know whether to tell them or not even bother. Given the entire shop runs on what I suspect are the same sumps, it's likely everything has the risk.

Maybe I'm just stupid and this is all my fault.

I'll keep trying. I'll buy another 40 dollar bottle and treat them for the 14 days and aone more week just in case. I put too much work into this to give up.

#kerytalk #ventposting #pet death tw #pet death #only saving sliver of hope for me right now is im being cleared for anxiety treatment with rTMS #so they'll flip the coil to the other side of my brain and start working on disrupting the neurons where my likely overactive anxiety is #hopefully it does something because after this ... idk man. it feels like the end of the road. #either get brain surgery or accept I'll always feel awful #part of me feels it wont work anyway because its the world that makes me feel this way #I'm this way because of what they did to me #to get better ... i feel the world would have to change. but every day it just seems to get worse #depression #sorry i just ... had to yell somewhere. im sick of holding all this pain so quietly by myself #yes i am seeing a psychologist but im literally on last resort before brain surgery here

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Wackus I am sCREAMING. you’re the best author but HOW COULD YOUUUUUUU. FELIXXXXXX 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 nooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I knew something bad was gonna happen to him but tHIS TAKES THE CAKE UGHHHHHHH. I love it and I hate it at the same time. How could you. My poor baby.

AND KAGAMIIII leaving despite it tearing her up inside is exactly why I love this ship so damn much. At the end of the day, feligami will do Whatever it takes for what they think is Right. They might not always agree on what the Right is, but when they dooooo😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ughhhhhh.

Also on feligami, I loved the little chess bit with them, it felt like a married couple going over their last fight 😂😭 I love how brilliantly they cooperated as soon as kagami was out of lila’s control, how quickly he tossed the miraculous to her and just went with it

I love how Lila used her signature move to motivate Felix - it’s always what she talks back on, threatening people using their loved ones. I mean, I hate her guts. But I love what she did because it’s in-character for her vile ass.

How Felix kept coming back to FIND ADRIEN’S RIINNGGGG UGHHHH I WANNA CRY MY BABY HE WOULNDT STOP UNTIL HE COULDNT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also I love how Felix thought of murder bacteria and viruses, you can really see how much he hates Lila and also I think it shows he still doesn’t like killing someone with his own hands so he prefers indirect methods - he really does respect life 😭 (also a super-killer senti-virus sounds absolutely terrifying. Like. He can make it act within seconds. In any way he wants. No cure. No vaccine. The only limit on how badly and quickly Lila suffers is his imagination alone. 😬 )

Also I know I should be more happy about Adrien bette but Felix is my fave okay so now I’m just like. HELLO. PRIORITIES?!?!?!

Dammit all this time I wanted Felix to save Adrien and now I’m like ADRIEN ENOIGH FLIRTING, COME SAVE TOUR BROTHER 😭😭😭

haha it was always going to happen like this! felix's arc can only be complete if he does something completely selfless that goes against his whole toxic self-preservation flaw.

"they might not always agree on what they think is Right" but when they do, they work together to achieve it 🥲 that's what makes me like them too! i seriously enjoy writing them that way, like opponents playing the same game. it makes all their choices for or against each other that much more high stakes!

(yeah felix was ready to violate the geneva codes and commit some biological war crimes. i honestly did want to expand on this more throughout the fic because i think it's really interesting how the peacock could be used in that way! and also ofc felix's mind would go there, ofc it would. but he was satisfied with his gf lighting volpina up.)

dw dw there will be more felix and adrien to come :))) this is their story, and they're nearing the end of their arcs! i do hope you like what i do with them. ty so much for reading it i'm glad you liked it <3

#odnlb #odnlb analysis #odnlb discussion #one does not love breathing #felix graham de vanily #adrien agreste #sentifelix #sentiadrien #feligami #miraculous ladybug

[vis-uh-vis]

also, i have missed you tumblr, ive been on twitter too much but hopefully that website will End soon. i am so happy now that i quit my job. it hasn’t solved everything of course but it helped. now i just vibe and make videos all day (but soon i will have to get a new job because we are Moving and everything will become More Expensive). also i got the new covid vaccine and it wrecked me for 36 hours but i’m better now and you should consider getting it too if you haven’t yet. ok bye!

[shawtygonemad]

VERMILION: Chapter 21

Daryl Dixon x OC (Rose Dixon)

Vermilion Masterlist

Vermilion Playlist

-Rose-

It's been about a day since I've last slept. My eyes were blurred and my hands shook. It made placing a dropper into a vial so much harder than it needed to be. I aggressively set them onto the counter with a huff. My head pounded from the blood loss.

"You should take a break," a weak, but gruff voice sounded in the lab. It reminded me why I was doing this.

"I can't," I breathed as I once again picked up the tools I had set down.

"You've taken a lot of blood from yerself," he softly spoke.

"I can't get the consistency right," I gritted in frustration. "It keeps coagulating!"

His heavy breathing is what caused me to stop and finally look at him. I've been pumping him full of fluids and trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. Unfortunately, this was Daryl and he's stubborn. He keeps trying to hide his pain and struggles from me, but I can see right through him. Right now he was on his feet hunched over the medical bed I had him rest on while in the lab with me.

"Angel, you need to rest," I softly told him as I pushed some sweaty hair out of his face. His skin started to become pale and clammy just a few hours ago. It wasn't a good sign, and only told me that my time was running out.

"M'fine," he mumbled as he tried to stand up straight, but almost collapsed.

I caught most of his weight and kept him from falling. Slowly I shifted him over to sit back on the bed. He reluctantly obliged when he realized he couldn't seem to catch his breath. Gently I placed both of my hands on either cheek of his and lifted his face to look at me.

"You are not fine, Angel, and I am so sorry. This is all my fault. But I promise I am going to take care of you, and get us out of this mess," I vowed.

He couldn't reply, but instead focused on steadying his breath. I momentarily stepped away to gather some supplies. When I returned I began cleaning his wound. He slightly hissed in pain as I did so. It was infected from the walker venom, but I was trying my best to keep any other bacteria out of it to prevent sepsis. Not like that mattered if I didn't get him this vaccine soon.

When I finished I set the supplies aside and went to return to my work. Before I could, Daryl’s hand gently grabbed my arm. I turned back to him, concerned.

“Stay,” he hoarsely said. “Please.”

I let out a small sigh before climbing into bed with him.

“Just for a little while. Then I need to get back to work,” I told him as I wrapped the giant man in my arms.

He laid his head on my chest as we cuddled. Slowly, I ran my fingers through his hair. It must have been tranquilizing because his breathing slowed and steadied itself in minutes. I always cherished moments like these we spent alone together. Especially when Daryl was looking so peaceful. The man carried the world on his shoulders and deserved a break every now and then.

I loved watching him sleep. His stress lines and crow's feet faded. Signs that showed how much he has been through in his life. He’s a survivor. Daryl has been put through the ringer of life and has come out on the other side. He can beat this. My husband is strong and a fighter. It’s why I loved him.

My eyes slowly shut as I tried to stay positive. The two of us are going to grow old together like we promised. We’ll watch our kids become adults then have families of their own. Grandpa Daryl has a nice sound to it. We just had to get through this. So much has already happened to us. This can’t be the end. 

I need Daryl. There is not a single day I’d want to live on this Earth without him. He’s already saved me in so many ways. Not just by keeping me alive, but showing me what love is. That I really do have a purpose in this world. He showed me what it’s like to be a wife. The man even gave me the greatest gift of all and made me a mother. Daryl Dixon saved my life. Daryl Dixon gave me a purpose. 

Through all of our ups and downs, he’s been there. He keeps me going even when I no longer wanted to. 

The wailing continued. I couldn’t take it anymore. My head pounded from the lack of sleep and annoyance. That of course made me spiral down into despair. I shouldn’t be irritated by my children’s crying. It made me feel like a terrible mother. I was just so tired. Even when the twins weren’t crying I still couldn’t sleep. 

Sluggishly, I drug myself out of bed and ran my hands down my face. My body had no energy. Most days it felt like I couldn’t even get out of bed. I was so thankful for Daryl. He’s been so eager to help out. A soft cry left my lips at the thought that maybe I wasn’t doing enough. One of these days he’ll realize how useless I am. 

The thought of him leaving made more anxiety swirl around my chest. I got up and slowly started to pace. I’ve never felt so horrible. My fears of being a terrible mother and wife were coming true. Why would he want to stay?

As I paced, I caught sight of myself in the mirror and stopped in my tracks. Slowly, I approached. My appearance was as disgusting as I felt. Dark circles lined the bottom of my eyes. Hair was all askew in its messy bun. Then the part I dreaded looking at most was my body. 

No longer was my body the same size as I once was. It was what I was most conscious about. Slowly, I lifted the bottom of my tank to reveal what was underneath: deep purple stretch marks and loose hanging skin. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked. If my uselessness doesn’t make Daryl leave then this sure would. I’m disgusting. No wonder he hasn’t been intimate with me since before the boys were born. That was nine weeks ago. He’s probably as disgusted with me as I feel. 

My thoughts were too caught up in my postpartum depression spiral that I didn’t realize the crying had stopped. Daryl successfully calmed the babies down and got them back to sleep. I was also too absorbed to notice Daryl standing in the door way of our bedroom watching me. 

“What’re ya doin’?” He quietly asked as he made his way towards me. 

The sound of his voice startled me and I quickly pull my top down, embarrassed. 

“Nothing,” I sniffled as I hastily wiped the tears from my face. 

Daryl wrapped his arms around my middle and rested his head on my shoulder. His gaze caught mine through the mirror. 

“Ain’t nothing if yer cryin’,” he told me. 

This brought more tears to my eyes. I hate that he can always see right through me. 

“I’m a horrible mother,” I softly wept. 

“What? No yer not,” Daryl rejected. 

“I am. The sound of our babies crying is making my skin crawl. I can hardly get out of bed, and you’re the one who is caring for them a lot,” my insecurities poured from my mouth. 

“Nah. That don’t make ya horrible. Yer just exhausted. Ya carried those two fer nine months. It’s okay ta have a little break. I’m more than happy to help,” Daryl soothed as he kissed my shoulder. 

“You do everything while I just lay around useless and gross. I have no excuses,” I sobbed. “I mean look at me! I’m disgusting. My body is two sizes bigger and I’m nothing but marks and loose skin.”

Daryl furrowed his brows in concern. Gently he turned me around to face him. I refused to look him in the eyes, but he was having none of that. He gripped my chin and forced me to look at him. 

“I need ya ta lis’en ta me real closely. You are not disgusting. You are the most beautiful woman I have laid eyes on. I love ya more now than I ever had. Okay? Ya gave birth to twins less than ten weeks ago. Course yer tired, ‘n’ that’s okay. Now let me repeat that: ya give birth ta twins. It’s completely normal for ya ta look how ya are. That don’t make ya any less attractive ta me. Yer still so damn sexy,” he explained before leaning down and giving me a kiss.

“Then why haven’t you touched me?” My voice wavered. 

“I’ve been waiting for ya ta be ready. I wasn’t gonna pressure ya into anythin’. But believe me when I say that I’ve been wantin’ ya so badly,” he encouraged as he went in for another kiss.

More tears slipped down my face only this time they were happy. 

“I don’t deserve you,” I told him. 

“I think ya got that the other way ‘round,” he smiled. “Now let’s go get ya a bath ta help ya relax.”

My eyes jolted open when I realized that I must have fell asleep. Quickly, I jumped out of bed all while trying not to disturb Daryl. I gave him a quick check to see that he was still doing okay. Nothing seemed to have changed, and he was still in a deep sleep. Before heading back to my work I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the head. 

“Don’t worry, Angel. I’m gonna figure out how to save you. Just hang in there.”  

***

Tagged List:

@lilythemadqueen @browneyes528 @jodiereedus22 @elliloumom @phoenixblack89 @jazzy1118 @fuseburner @happyvibesssblog @lexi-anastasia @purple-serenity @lonewolf471 @mavelfan2335

#romance #adventure #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fic #daryl fanfiction #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #twd daryl dixon #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon x oc #daryl #daryl x oc #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic

[reeeallygood]

911 Lone Star Rewatch: 2x01

Back! In! The! Saddle! Very excited to be getting in to Season 2. This is probably the season I have rewatched the least?? So I'm excited to dive in. Andddd I'm excited for TOMMYYYYYY.

Alamo mention right out the gate.

Carlos being the first of the main cast to be shown at the beginning of this season is interesting! Especially since he plays a much smaller role in season 1. So already setting the tone for the shake ups they are doing for season 1

Owen's little speech about the survivors of 9/11 getting ignored years later is so good. Because I honestly get so angry whenever I remember senators tried to block the bill that would fund care for 9/11 victims and first responders. (because we can fund invasions of middle-eastern countries, but not healthcare. yayy usa)

Oh wow, I just realized that this episode was probably written very soon after all that nonsense.

TOMMY. HELLO MY LOVE! SHE LOOKS SO GOOD!

Fun fact, whenever my mom sees Gina Torres she says, "that is the most beautiful woman in the world" and she's right.

Oh Charles!!! I feel like we didn't get to know him super well. But I did love his and Tommy's relationship. And I did love the dynamic of a working mom and stay-at-home dad. And the way they go about addressing Tommy's complicated feelings about being a mom and being someone who works.

Goodbye Michelle.

I absolutely adore Judd saying that Tommy did him "the supreme kindness" of introducing him to Grace. Because it implies that she like set them up. When in reality what she did was walk Judd over to say hi to Grace in person, after he had been only speaking with her on the phone for months. So I find it very funny that he still credits Tommy with introducing them.

So I've never done roller derby, but I know a few roller derby chicks and I gotta say there is a very specific brand of person who does it. And they are some of the coolest people out there.

Also, I love the way Tommy talks to patients. It's so calming. And confident too. Like I would trust her so much.

OH GOD. I forgot that kitten crushers arm was fucked upppp

Tim... I'm also ready to be done with you. Your time is coming to an end. Though, I am sorry that it comes to such an awful and sad end.

Our very first Carlos hang!! Eating snacks, playing Catan, bitching about parents--peak millennial culture

GWYNNNNN. Wow. I'm having the time of my life with this episode.

So pretty much every show makes changes between seasons 1 and 2, and as someone how gets attached to things very easily I sometimes get a bit upset by those changes. But almost every change lone star makes between 1 and 2 is for the better. Honestly, I'm not sure I can think of a single thing that I think is for the worse or that I missed from season 1.

There is not a single reality where Tommy is sleeping with her hair like that.

Tommy getting upset that Charles didn't wake her up, and then when he promises to wake her up next time, warning him that it'll be "at your own peril". Relatable Queen.

Also, I mentioned this in another ep rewatch post, but I find it so interesting that Michelle refers to Tim and Nancy by their last names and Tommy refers them by their first names. Especially since Tommy trained Michelle--so I wonder why she decided last name was the way to go.

Owen and Tommy's dynamic is fantastic. Honestly, even without making TK a paramedic, her presence already makes EMS feel more integrated with the rest of the firehouse.

My mom also had cancer during pre-vaccine covid and it was so terrifying. So I imagine TK must have been so stressed out the whole time about his dad getting sick. Especially with how much Owen had to be exposed to strangers just because of his job.

Charles hiding behind the door is hilarious.

I've been to the bat bridge! The one that Gwyn mentions. The last time I was in Austin I went to check it out.

TK knows. More than any son should. Gwyn and Owen comment on him being a wise-ass, but the apple did not fall far from the tree kids!!

Wow, great kick off for the season! I think season 2 is a tad messy plot-wise. But there's just such a good energy to this first episode and it makes me psyched to watch the rest! 10/10

Previous episode thoughts

#If you can't tell this is a pro-tommy household #911 lone star #911 lone star rewatch 2024

[musicofthenightphantomoftheopera]

I’m not really excited about my birthday this year…..

Come November 17, 2023, I’ll be 25 years old.

I should be excited. I should be making plans to celebrate. But I’m not. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t.

That day will just solidify the fact that Covid took away my entire early 20s. The time when I’m supposed to be going out into the world and “figuring myself out” “meeting new people” “making mistakes”and “growing as a person” according to most movies, tv, and people I’ve met. All of that stolen from me. Gone.

I have Asthma, therefore I am disabled. So I have a lot more at risk than most if I catch it. Since 2020 when the pandemic started, I stopped going out to places as often, I wore a mask at all times to protect myself, and others. I stopped going to anime conventions entirely. I didn’t even have a birthday party that year outside of the one my family had cuz I was that scared. And when the vaccines came out of course I got fully vaccinated as soon as I could, But I still exercised all those other cautions.

I like everyone else thought it would be over in a couple months or at least after the vaccines came out, But it wasn’t. due to the disturbingly widespread acceptance of abelism, eugenics, anti vax misinformation and right wing propaganda brought on by covid and those in power who simply cannot be bothered to care about anyone other than themselves & would gladly laugh & celebrate our deaths should we not survive, I like many other disabled people have been forced to become prisoners in our own houses for the last 4 years.

Nowadays I watch through my phone as people and friends alike go to anime conventions, Rennaisance fairs, and other fun life events with absolutely ZERO covid precaution to keep themselves & other safe even though the virus continues to kill ppl by the millions and act as if nothing is wrong.

I see them there and wish I could be there too having a good time and living my life. But I can’t.

(And don’t bother coming at me with the whole “you can’t expect us to mask forever, it’s restricting!” First of all of you don’t wanna end up like me or worse you kind of have to and second of all. It is a goddam peice of fabric over your face. I am asthmatic and I can breathe in not one but TWO masks perfectly fine. So can you ya goddam crybaby. Get it together. )

I know if I go if catch it and run the risk of becoming more disabled than I already am. All the conventions I wanted to go to, the Rennaisance fairs I could’ve attended. All the plans I had for my future were ripped away from me. But not a lot seem to care.

Because the universal truth about ppl in America is that not a lot of people give a fuck about disabled people. Most of them see us as less than human and actively want us to die. Even if it’s their own family members or friends. Anyone the claim to care about. No one is safe.

You have no idea how many horror stories I have of people saying “it’s only killing the elderly and the disabled, so who cares?!” Not only is that ungodly vile but also wholly untrue. It’s killing & disabling ppl my age and also children. But again. Not enough care.

I used to be so excited about seeing what the world had in store for me in the future. But now I don’t think I have one anymore. And how can I be excited to experience a world with so much ugliness that I’m pretty much risking my life every time I leave the house nowadays?

If the plague doesn’t get me there’s the risk of a wacko that just so happens to have a gun deciding to shoot up a place because of their inhumane ideology or they were “having a bad day” or run the risk of a man literally doing one of the worst possible things you can do to another human and knowing that because of the state I live in, I will be penalized or even imprisoned for not wanting a rapists baby.

It makes me never want to leave the house again even though I desperately want to. And want to be part of the world again. But I can’t. Because even if I do nothing at all, I’ll be punished. But I don’t really know what I can do or if there’s anything I can do to fight back besides voting. I have no political power. I have almost no money no matter how hard I try to work for some, And no resources. I also recently moved to a very rural area. I have no friends that live near me nor do I know or know if I can trust anyone here, therefor Di have no community to rely on. Besides my family I’m basically completely isolated. And it feels like my granny and I are the only sane ones left in my family because my mom and stepdad refuse to wear masks. My mom got the vaccine but refuses to mask.

I can’t leave because 1 I’m broke, 2 I’m also autistic which actually bans me from gaining citizenship/a visa in certain countries, and 3, this fascist ideology is spreading and abelism and covid are still pretty much everywhere. There is no true escape.

I can’t even get any therapy for what I’ve been through due to the US Healthcare system being a sick joke and I can’t afford it and of course the risk of having an ableist therapist or one who has zero experience with autistic ppl or one that’s just there to collect a paycheck.

What am I supposed to do? Why do I even bother trying anymore? What’s the point of living if I’m just living in a constant state of fear, anxiety, anger and hopelessness and misery? I can’t get excited about Halloween, Christmas, or even my own birthday anymore because I’m so emotionally exhausted and I feel so hopeless. And don’t even get me started on climate change anxiety.

There’s not really a point to this. I just needed to vent and wanted to share my experience.

#I feel hopeless #hopeless #personal vent #vent post #disabled #i hate it here #just why #i feel alone #mental health #trauma #abelism #i don’t want to feel like this anymore #i don’t want to die #i’m tired #isolated