#i am very tired of being polite

[gummy-worms-in-my-brain]

Ooh what happens if we dunk him in saltwater, does he shrivel or does the water cancel it out? Rouxls did not give me permission to ask this btw

did you know that ink doesnt really dissolve in saltwater all that much? well i didnt know that until recently. you learn something new every day ghfjndgm,.,,, hes fine, just salty about the amount of salt he is being subjected to

(two alt versions w blur i just thought those looked neat enough to include jdfmgfdg)

#added the text in image descriptions in case if its hard to read my handwriting ^^ #hes not even locked in there hes just being dramatic about it. damn you worm man #but yeah. really well behaved critters if you ask me gjfdmkg #was going to name a few examples like “you dont do [x]. very polite” but that would be giving people ideas. most things are fair game tho #2 am type of post lmfao i am so tired. goodnight goobers

[llitchilitchi]

I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad! #but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!! #but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem. #idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.' #'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding' #like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

[topaztimes]

Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

#Giving time... #Still more time... #Wouldn't want to plague any previews #Maybe another filler. Just for some fun #Is this enough? #It certainly is now #Alright start: #I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight #'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state / #/of constant self-loathing #I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea #What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not / #/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed #I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore #I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done #I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though #I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I / #/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward #I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme #Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way #God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs #It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my / #/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days #Literally what am I doing this for #And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with / #/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life #Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me #Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus #I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore #It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until

[sysig]

It always seems like such a good idea in the moment (Patreon)

The first four are in reference to a great idea I had of - since I’ve finished my lower-limit page number testing for making books; shorter fics take up less page space, and just increasing the font size isn’t as handsome! - simply making a mini book! All it would take would be to halve the pages again, right? Just cut them right down the middle! Easy peasy!

As I’m sure you can tell by the second, no. Not easy peasy. Difficult painful un-fun >:(

Obviously I still did it tho! What do you take me for, someone who could have the idea of an even tinier book and then not do something about it?? No It’s also the only one so far to have a paper bookmark rather than a ribbon!

All told it’s a bit smaller than your average manga (I love the monochrome covers on these under their dust jackets haha <3) - you can see even with effectively doubling up the pages by halving their size, it was still very small-spined!

A quick shot while it was still being made hehe ♪ It’s Out! Paired here - and the earlier one, just without its dust jacket haha - with my Zarla SC2 collection (ft. Family, Negotiations are Going...Well, and With No Obligation) - I absolutely kicked myself after the fact for not including Out as the run-up to everything, I was really trying to make a full collection in probably-chronological order! Out would’ve been a perfect start! And it only would’ve taken like four pages!!

Ah well, it was still quite a learning experience - I probably wouldn’t make another standalone of under 4k-ish just for formatting reasons but I did get some good ideas of how to do so if I wanted to! Although, my next project is going to be even more of a formatting nightmare........I’ll get there when I get there! Lol

#Doodles #The impulsive thoughts are always the funnest! But then it's all a matter of actually putting them into reality... #Ahh well like I said under the cut it was a learning experience! And I really wanted a physical copy of Out haha ♪ #I don't think I've ever mentioned it - not even in my pre-fic notes :0 - but Out was another one of my inspirations for Drinking Game #I mean - the drinking lol obviously but I hadn't considered what VUX drinking would be like before reading it :) #I wanted to pair it with both physical copies hehe ♫ I'm happy I attempted it! And I have a better foundation to build on in the future! #I ended up using the scrap leftover from making such a small cover as the bookmark haha - and I picked the covers so they'd almost-match :) #They go together! But not quite! Just enough! #The sting of creation has worn off - it's actually been a while since I've made a quick book! - so the itch is starting to come back haha #Well - almost lol - the formatting is still........but I do want to do it! Especially now that I've got a hand-in-hand hobby to go with it #All that later ♪ For now snakes! #And also spiders I am also the same when spiders #I've been escorting a lot of spiders outside lately and pretty much all of them fall under the moniker of ''darling'' to me lol #Still no luck on finding a jumping spider :( But I also haven't got an enclosure set up yet either #There's this one booth that always has such adorable and pretty jumping spider enclosures ahhh I might have to break and get one someday #Same place where I got to hold the snake in fact! :D She was a love <3 Beautiful full-grown female cornsnake if memory serves #She was rather wiggly - she was tired and fussy and didn't feel like being handled by a stranger but she was so polite about it #A real delight to handle <3 And I got to see her babies! So cute and tiny! #The rest is more SCII fic stuff haha ♪ Rereading the Pirate fic was a lot of fun :) Intentionally avoiding Vargas fic(s) does make me a bit #Well I really like Vargas still lol it is candy to my brain so any gesture even remotely in that direction is very exciting haha #I'm perfectly happy with the rest for now tho! I have plenty of things to read and make! >:3c #Heck there's still a SCII fic I haven't read yet that I want to!! I just have to get all my previous SCII thoughts out of my head first haha #I will tho >:3c Always always ♪♫ #SCII

[bending-sickle]

asking my mother if she wants to come along to see an exhibition in the city tomorrow and she’s like yes! but i will only see the building, i don’t think i’ll go see the exhibition.

my mother who birthed me, then why the fuck are you coming along? to stand outside and time pressure me while i go see the exhibition? are you going to do like last time, so i don’t get to see the whole exhibition?

and she’s like what time? and as i start answering the question she…fucking…leaves.

#but oh no SHE’S not rude #and i texted her today #because she was in the city #how i was going to ask if she wanted to go tomorrow #knowing she doesn’t like going twice in a row because it’s tiring #and her response is Well Ask :)))) #like…what…kind of answer…is that #i had actually been looking forward to going alone #but thought since she’d said she was interested #it was only polite to ask her along #but uhhhh i am tired of being treated like shit maybe??? #anyway #it’s a Mucha exhibition #i am very excite #will absolutely enjoy the fuck out of it alone #but also hi i spent 4 hours at the gym today i am ded to the world #randomness

[autistic-shaiapouf]

You know how in mob psycho you can see the percentage counter for how close mob is to absolutely losing it

#i think the weather getting hotter and more summery is dredging up a lot of shit again #on top of the job search being dubious at best #on top of the unresponsive roommates and me talking politics at work (in a good way) and going MAN my home is #not meeting my needs #on top of the room itself being too small the fridge not big enough to accommodate 3 people #half my shit disappearing in the fridge as things get shoved wherever #on top of the current job stressing me past my limits #i dont think i really considered every single factor until i nearly started crying at target while looking at home goods #bc yeah.. yeah i do want home goods but don't have a fucking home large enough to accommodate them #i am feeling rage well out of proportion for what i am experiencing at this very moment but with all factors considered #it seems much more reasonable #it is genuinely so out of proportion I'm getting knocked into dissociative territory; outsourcing my anger #anyways. guess who bought more candles. i came for hand soap. and a drain snake to unclog the bathtub #we've been trying drano to no avail so I'm taking matters into my own hands #everything is starting to burn off and now I'm just. tired. i am doing my best with what I'm being given #shai speaks

[theforesteldritch]

Genspect (an gross anti trans organization) is currently using intersex people as a tool to further their transphobia. Not only are they spreading misinformation, they and the people following them are speaking over us and they don’t care.

They were mocking the term intersex. They were saying that sex isn’t a spectrum, there’s only two sexes, all that bullshit. They are speaking over us, mocking us and spreading misinformation. All to spread hate about trans people, which I also am.

I called them out in the comments, and I’m sort of regretting it. Because I am tired of having to not only defend the fact that I exist but my own body’s reality. I am a bit of both male and female. It is not a disorder and it is not something wrong. Sex is a spectrum, and I fall outside of the most common categories.

For people seemingly so obsessed with ‘biological reality’ (and of course not understanding basic concepts about the difference between sex and gender) they sure love to spread misinformation about us and how our biology works. They’re reductionist, and try to reduce sex to chromosomes or gametes or whatever. But the thing is, no one singular trait makes up sex. I’m so tired. I’m proud of being intersex but the hate and the stigma and the discrimination that we have to live with every day is just so enraging and frustrating and exhausting.Our bodies are not tools for some hateful agenda. Our bodies can’t be classed into categories that they don’t fit. Our bodies are natural human variation. Intersex people deserve better.

#Intersex #intersexism #lgbtq #lgbtqia #intersex thoughts #actually intersex #i think that intersex people should be able to bite intersexists with no repercussions actually #because I am tired of having to be polite enough to be listened to when my very existence is being mocked and denied

[weepingfireflies]

The last thing I want to do is criticize grieving Palestinian-Americans or minimize the harm Joe Biden has done, but it's so frustrating watching "just don't vote" people pop up out of the woodworks every presidential election without ever mentioning any other plan. Like, it's fucking infuriating that we've been voting in genocidal freaks because they're the lesser of two evils, but every year, there's never a plan to prevent this, and it always happens again. It's like we're not supposed to make things better - we're just supposed to give up.

At the very least, I am begging y'all to look up the 2024 Democratic Presidential candidates running against Biden before the primaries in February

#also. don't let the 2024 presidential election overshadow the ongoing genocide. this is very much a side note #& not a conversation I even want to be having rn (the genocide is ongoing) but we do need to have it before the primaries #I think most ppl are frustrated and tired of both options being horrendous & not an active strategy #but we need to do smth. anything. I am open to anything that means I don’t have to vote for Biden #politics #us politics #joe biden #and doesn't mean Trump is elected #my posts #serious #genocide mention

[skippingseaglass]

i forget if someone already said this and i'm just repeating it because i liked it but when people say "the transgenders want to ravage our lives and prey on our children" i really can't help but laugh because like

you know what i wanna do?? i want to help an old lady across the street and i want her to call me a fine young man and pat me on the head (to be fair i would probably be about her height i'm really short) and i want her to have a nice day and i want me to have a nice day

#being nice to strangers already feels great but if i was referred to masculinely when people thank me public polite would be like crack #i would literally never get tired of it #the only reason i dont seek it out is because i am usually percieved as a woman #and that shit *sucks* #it still feels nice to just be nice to people #thats why im kind of the god of customer service #well. and the fawning. from uh. the abuse #but mostly because im just very nice to people #it would be nice if i could feel like myself in those situations #and not uh #the false image projected upon me by my mother #the one i am forced to basically larp as #urgh #whatever #it'll be over soon enough #i really should ask for a ride to a barber shop again #or i guess i could take myself there with a lyft or something #whale whatever #another daydrian another slaydrian

[blindedguilt]

“You should have seen it coming.” |[ rosuintens ]|

::THE GREEN DRAGON

The Green Dragon's usually greyed eyes remained shut as it laid still in response to its fellow's remark, though the question of whether it was true nonchalance or mere exhaustion that made its demeanour wasn't clear. While there was no denying the struggle the last two years had been for the already elderly dragon, it was just as clear to any who knew it how set it was in its beliefs. It's capabilities, no matter how limited, did little to waver its guard in the face of such challenges. A sentiment proven further as its eyes lifted, and with what strength it had, lifted its head to better meet that of the red dragon's. The greyish-gold eyes that stared directly up the other were almost lifeless in their appearance, but its voice was anything but. "Am I the fool...?" It asked.

"I have no regrets for what I have done."

It wanted to make that clear.

The Green Dragon's head lowered, but didn't yet place itself on the ground as it went on. "For you, who have come here by duty rather than by will, your perspective of the true capabilities of human kindness remain limited under the weight of your own recklessness. Humans are powerful and know well how to love within their own right... Surely you had seen it that day, or else you would not be fighting your own brethren now! The will of humankind. A desire to live in the company of others that ones with lives such as ours could not understand. You may be blind to it now, but one day you'll see. You'll see..."

Its tone had rose, had become almost condescending as it went on, and a glint of life could momentarily be seen through the cracked and dirtied scales as a coarse, low groan of a growl barely escaped from it's maw. It had meant no threat - that was certain even with the fierce vigour it had asserted itself with, being that they were brethren after all - but it had, if anything, certainly meant to lecture. It was a gesture the Green Dragon was almost certain a being with all the power and pride of the red dragon would take offense to. As if in recognition of this fact, it lowered its voice, one that spoke only between the two of them, but with such an aura that even one like a passing human could be sure to sense the emitting tension.

"Are you truly of the mind that the humans seek only chaos?" The dragon asked, "That nothing shall come of the destruction of these grounds? Of this war? The soil has only been sown. At the end of all human conflict, community grows. And from here..."

"...A beautiful garden shall be grown, just as the days of old. Of that, I am certain." It said, its head finally lowering to the ground. A deep sigh followed that shook the fangs in its mouth as the tired eyes finally closed. "I am certain."

#rosuintens #||Reply||:Angelus #||The Green Dragon|| #||1.3|| #{/i hope this was alright!!} #{/that aside; my thoughts during this piece:} #{/OOOOOOH THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNNNGGGG} #{/i had the first two paragraphs written LITERALLY since the day this was sent in june; i believe.} #{/While I certainly am pleased with that; i NEVER want to spend like 3 months getting to an ask again and i deeply apologise.} #{/it may be hard to believe in full for that exact reason; but i actually enjoyed writing the beef(???? conflict?) between these two FAR} #{/more than I had expected. I knew I was gonna have fun; but...} #{/characterising the green dragon in this way gives me a chuckle for the idea that it really isn't at all that different from leonard in a} #{/sense of 'very kind; very tired; VERY polite but will slap you upside the face with cheeky smugness when you least expect it'} #{/that said; leonard might do it out of half annoyance. the green dragon is more in the 'you have a lot more to learn stop pretending you} #{/have it figured out' angle. XD} #{/either way; it's nothing personal angie!! (another note: with leonard; it's most definitely personal)} #{/two more asks to go......... nothing can stop me now (except maybe being tired and having to reorganise my whole room tomorrow; but}

[weaselishmcdiesel]

RRAR

#guess whos unlucky ass got classes with the single person from this semester who i didnt like. again. for next semester #not a bad person. not a bad person no not at all. in fact they are very kind and friendly and inclusive. #i. do not like being included. in fact i like when people respect that i like being left alone. i love when people respect that #THIS ONE DOES NOT RESPECT THAT #remember that post i made? about how being a fujoshi is a bad thing? i made that post. because this person. used that term. at me. #i am. a gay PERON. yes i STILL LOOK VERY FEMALE YES I GET THAT NO I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY IM NOT A FUJOSHI OR EVEN A WOMAN #nearly every time this person interacts with me (none of them initiated by yours truly) something fucking uncomfortable happens. #and i know. i know in my heart of hearts. that theyre trying their best. but i get so tired of overly nice people i know thats my own issue #another thing i hate is fake compliments. i really hate them. i never give shallow compliments to peoples work like a LOOKS GOOD not even #i ALWAYS take the time to consume the work and think about it before i give MEANINGFUL compliments. always #many MANY TIMES this person has like passed by my computer or whatever and WITHIN SECONDS said ‟woah that looks really good!‟ #wh. n. you #you looked at it for nary a minute. id rather you said nothing at all #again. i KNOW im being dramatic you should know that i know this. i know theyre being polite and im being a baby #but. another. fucking semester. with this person #i really fucking cant #i was looking forward to the next semester because there would be new people since i didnt vibe with my class from this semester #lo and FUCKING behold. the worst person from this semester is going to be my classmate AGAIN #fuck fuck fuck i am so whiny i know i know i know i am. but FUCK dude college is stressful enough. #(... it helps that their art... doesnt look good aksjdhf but you didnt hear me say that) #weasel speaks #asks!

[vanibear]

we have now reached the stage of family vacation where i have a meltdown

#mmmmmmm they were just straight up playing an antivax youtube video on tv . it took every ounce of my composure to not burst into tears on #The spot .Ive now gone to bed early so i can go cry very quietly upstairs in my bathroom #its just. it makes me insane my family is so fun and awesome until it comes to their politics !!!!!!!!!! #i try not to think about it very often .but sometimes im just hit fully with the fact that if they knew who I truly am . #there is a scary scary chance they would just never accept me. #its so easy for ppl to say oh if they wont accept you just walk out and leave they never really loved you anyway #but it’s so complicated in real life i cant just leave my family i love them !!!! they love me !!!!!they are all I have #and the thing is I never talk to them about this stuff .i have no idea how they would react and it is Scary #i ache with my whole being sometimes to just share everything with them. im so tired of secrets .it hurts I just wish i could just live #openly with them like some people do #but the possibilities and consequences are just far too grand for me for now #so I just live in this limbo. and I do a good job most of time ignoring the fact that I do #but sometimes (like tonight) it just hits me all once .the weight and burden of all that I hide from everyone. #pride month especially. it can be a very hard time for me #oh I think I hear ppl coming upstairs now gotta make it look like I haven’t been crying bc i do Not want anyone to ask .i will not be able #to answer without sobbing and I cant explain slash excuse my way out of this one without talking abt what’s really going on #And I don’t want to have that conversation for a Long time #ok byebye #kat post

[ukulelegodparent]

Apparently I'm feeling very strongly about language once again atm. Like just. I have to eat it. I have to let it wash over me and through me. I need to read good opinions on like. The connection between the heart and the soul and the language they are expressed and the language they developed and grew up in. Like. it is so intricate and so complicated and so personal and yet so simple and such a universal experience.

#plus idk like. me writing this in English on speak your language day. instead of German. #idk I guess the 'a language different from my native language is spoken around me' got me once again #I really would've liked to stay in prague tonight. I feel like I would've had a very good time #but as they say. all good things must come to an end. und man soll ja aufhören wenn's am schönsten ist #plus halt das buch das ich gerade lese das auch die interaktion zwischen sprachen als großes Thema hat #und. like thinking about europe once again. the european idea. the european project. the flaws inherent to it. #and the flaws that have hope. but that are not being worked out at the moment. #I'm so fucking tired of all the stereotypes. and all the east-west conflict. it's so extremely stupid. #we have so much to learn from each other. if only us in the west would manage to get our fucking heads out of our asses #and be open to it. the whole idea of europe is so very doomed continuing on this path. #maybe bc we live in political systems that mostly encourage people who think they have it all figured out and that everyone else #must be doing something wrong can really make it to the top of power #it doesn't allow for nuance. and I don't know how to fix it. I'm not sure it can be fixed or if this is just part of the human condition.

[batfamfucker]

My sleep schedule is very fucked. Deadass passed out at like 8AM and woke up at 6PM. Passed out again and actually got up at 9PM. I cannot sleep now and have two lectures tomorrow and maybe work

#It's reading weel next week but I cannot keep missing classes because of insomnia #Fam I need good attendance to get accepted onto a study abroad year #And I'm already struggling with the finances and grades of that like please don't make me worry about attendance too #A bitch is fighting for her life lmao #I have two essays due in like two weeks and we're only a month into the uni year and I know not how to write them #My grandma is also in hospital and she managed to catch covid in hospital 🙃 I'm very annoyed at the negligence of that #She is very weak anyway to the point they've put her on a DNR. And now she has covid too #If Covid takes its toll. Then that's it. They're not going to save her. #Sorry for the vent it's just been. A busy first few weeks #I'm very tired and very broke rn and my only source of joy is hoping I get to go on the year abroad next year #I wanna study in the US because that's where all the acting schools/jobs are. Worried? Yes. Worth it? Also yes #I know the USA is a hellhole politically so I'm also looking at safe states (Like where abortion is legal for example) but also. #It's landscape it highkey stunning #And I do like a lot of the stuff/opportunities there. Just not the people #These tags are all over the place. Anyway #Death tw #Hospital tw #Covid tw #Also my ADHD meds ran out like four days ago and the prescription delivery is taking too long because I moved to uni #Local Bitch Having Hard Time Amongst Already Being Unmedicated. More At 2. AM Rather Than PM Probably. #I have been living off of potatoes and tears. #Sweet potato fries slap and I am a great chef tho so slay for me I guess

[dykekakashi]

reading this book about nicaraguan labor and agrarian protest movement in the 20th century and one of the like ... consistently wild things to me is the way different factions with like wildly different perspectives on the world (communists and somocistas) could come together to accomplish goals that would benefit wide swaths of the populations they claimed to represent, without distinctions about who deserved those rights or not. something that seems literally unachievable present-day lol. like no one is willing to be seen as morally or politically compromised by collaborating w others who have similar goals because appearances matter more than results

#book is jeffreh gould's to lead as equals #it's very good tho i am tired and wanna finish it lol #and ofc there's a much wider gap between being a communist or a somocistan than there is between like #being a bi lesbian or sb with a more conventional lgbt label #like every day i feel so hopeless watching such useless distinctions pull ppl apart #not to say factionalism hasn't always existed within the left but like literally the only successful stories are the ones where #factionalism is overcome lol. in every other case factionalism becomes THE downfall of the left #like there's no way in any case for broad left movement leaders to gain legitimacy either #given the obsession w moral purity #everything is morally suspect and concerns w moral purity have superceded politics at the end of the day

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

Also I’m fucking crying because today I’ve been told that I’m too of a bad bitch, too tough, too badass and that I should be more relaxed, nice, girly, open, friendly, etc. All of this said by a man.

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE BUT NO.

#like?????? do i look like i asked for an opinion??????? #am i a bad bitch? maybe or maybe not who knows #i’m having a rollo moment and i wanna scream that i am what i am and i won’t change for anybody #i agree that sometimes i might be stiff and i don’t like letting people enter my personal bubble but this is #literally the aftermath of me being morally beaten and heartbroken for a very long time #i could be this cute short girl being nice and polite but guess what? i won’t #at least not with people that don’t deserve to be treaten that way #i’m tired of pretending #i did that for 30 years and now i’m exhausted #i just want to be myself and if this isn’t enough or is too much to handle for people then 🤷🏻‍♀️ #this is your problem