#i am very very very uncomfortable

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

I think there’s also something to be said about Taylor’s tolerance for various behaviors for someone in the public eye. Not that it excuses anything, I just think it’s interesting to consider why her personal line may be different from ours as fans, and how it is important for people to have different lines for different situations. Harmful behavior doesn’t just go away without love and support from people actually in community with you (I don’t think fans are in true community with celebs, though we are a community impacted by that person’s actions). It’s all about finding the people who are able to support you through hard change, and knowing for yourself what behaviors you are capable of being present for with someone during the process of changing. I personally would not be able to be present with someone who has done the things Matty has done. But if he truly is ready and wanting to change, he will need support to do so, and someone like Taylor who has navigated public shame for a long time would be uniquely situated to be compassionate while he does. I obviously can’t know what their conversations are like about that stuff but all I can hope is that he is learning and growing and that Taylor is not compromising her beliefs to excuse his behavior. And of course someone is entitled to have different lines for different types of relationships. A hookup has different moral obligations than a marriage (and a fan-celeb relationship has even different dynamics!) It’s just complicated!! And fans have a right to be hurt, and to make choices about how to engage with Taylor’s art and personal life going forward based on our own personal values without conflating our personal experiences with Taylor’s or other fan’s. And our comfort level can change- I think my personal tolerance will be much different if taylor ends up dating him for longer than a few months and we don’t get any public reason to believe he’s actively changing. That’s not to say we as a fan community should excuse mattys behavior or be quiet about it or shame each other for being upset about it or that we should not be educating each other about what he’s done and why it’s wrong. Pop culture gives us a really valuable way to learn from other human beings who are going through things and making bad choices publicly and then we can use that to reflect on our own relationships and values.

#matty healy #c #update as of 5/15 my comfort level is definitely changed due to knowing more specifics about his behavior #that is to say #I am very very very uncomfortable #and my focus has shifted entirely to the many many many groups he repeatedly harms

[nerves-nebula]

i love to see people who are like "you can talk about csa but not around minors that's gross!" like idk how to tell you this but. who do you think is getting csa'd. i'll give you a hint: the first letter in csa does not stand for "adult"

#nnstuff #was browsing the tmnt competition cuz i havent paid attention to it much #and that anon made me laugh #that anon was prolly a kid too but like still. its funny. i dont blame them for thinking that #i just think its funny is all #anyway good on the mod for being very level headed about stuff #they're doing a good job and i'm proud of them even if it's not how i'd handle things- cuz i am an adult who is used to talking about CSA #and they're a kid who is clearly uncomfortable with it and definitely could've responded way worse than they did #csa tw

[letterful]

to be perfectly honest, i find that semi-viral doing laundry / stopping genocide poem to be not only your run-of-the-mill Bad Poetry (tm), but also... really tone-deaf?

#it's very much reminiscent of the insufferable 'compassion fatigue' debate is what i'm saying. #(and the evergreen 'i am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me' banger of a tweet.)

[wh0re-behavi0r]

I know this is something white people in the fandom may not think of but you should consider the race of others you talk to online. Even when their race isn't in their bio.

I have had multiple instances where even when people know my race, there have been extremely ignorant things said.

Please listen to POCs when they feel as though there is some racial bias. Please don't get defensive or think any mention of "race" or "racist" is going too far. We are all raised to be prejudiced, so if someone is finding that in you, reflect and work on yourself.

#fandom #911 #i know ppl dont listen and in this fandom they continually ignore shit but #and im beating a dead horse but i am feel very uncomfortable and anxious

[starrysharks]

i am the cattt just chillin outt but in the night she's all i think aboutttt

#zeno's art #i feel so strong 😭 when shes around 😭 she picks me up 😭 when 😭 i 😭 am 😭 down 😭 #even i can admit that i love the full theme song. anyway! #for this redesign i also wanted him to feel less generic but in a different way to marinette #i wanted his civilian clothes to look comfortable and stylish so hes like ... a rich boy who doesnt really dress like a rich boy #idk #i got rid of the purple to keep everything cohesive and because it annoyed me #and i tried to make the outfit less simiar to maris too. why were they both wearing nearly matching jacket shirt jeans ensembles??? #i also wanted to make his hair look a bit smart with the side part but also a little rebellious with the spiked hair #that also creates a subtle cat ear silhouette. #with the chat noir suit: the original looks very uncomfortable and embarrassing to wear for a 14 year old (i think theyre 14 in the show?) #i remember that one of the designers for itsv said that most teens would be embarrassed wearing a spandex/tight suit if they were superheros #and thats why miles wore shorts and a jacket and shoes over his #so i thought 'ill make chat's suit more comfy' #rather than his weird leather suit its more loose esp in the legs to make an interesting silhouette #the cat scratches on the suit + the messier hair also signify rebellion #and the belt mirrors that of my ladybug redesign #the graident tail is just to match plagg + it looks cool #ok done rambling! #miraculous ladybug #mlb #adrien agreste #chat noir #cat noir #plagg #zag studios hire this man

[that-disabled-princess]

I remember seeing a post about how being aromantic is akin to being allergic to corn, and like... yeah. Being romance-repulsed, loveless, and aplatonic in addition to being aromantic is like being allergic to olives and corn. And also their common substitutes. Olive oil and cornstarch are used in everything. There is no escape.

You tell someone you can't have a food because olive oil was used, and it's "oh, but surely you aren't allergic to olive oil! That's not a real thing."

You can't have a food because there's cornstarch in it and it's, "oh, but it's such a small amount of corn, surely you'll be fine. I know you can't have corn, but a tiny amount of cornstarch?"

You tell someone that, actually, you are also allergic to a common substitute, and it's "so you just can't eat at all? that's so sad!" or "then what CAN you eat? it's so sad you have such a dislike for food."

"Surely, you aren't actually repulsed by romance! That's so sad! And also, you made that up!"

"I know you're aromantic, but you can't actually be uncomfortable with people using the word 'love' as a blanket for emotions, can you?"

"So you don't feel love for your friends AT ALL? You just don't feel AT ALL? How sad!"

It's exhausting.

#i'm so sick of being told my very self is depressing #like fuck off tIfFaNy *i don't care* #i am living my best life #like yes tiffany i AM repulsed by romance and uncomfortable with overly romantic things #i AM uncomfortable with people automatically using ''love'' as a blanket word to describe my emotions and the emotions of those around me #saw a post that was like ''your friends love you more than you know and love you just as much as you love them'' and now i'm venting #sigh #also i don't like the word ''friend'' being used for me unless... well i don't actually know the ''unless'' #all i know is there are a couple people i'm really close to who i'm comfortable with using the word ''friend'' with #and most others are friendly acquaintances /pos #aromantic #loveless aro #amatonormativity #romance repulsed #aplatonic

[patron-saint-of-lesbeans]

Very interesting (concerning) that while there’s a general consensus of “of course there’s queer Muslims and Jews and Christians we love them!” But that love is conditional. You can be religious but not too religious. You can be spiritual as long as it’s not actually that important to you. You can be observant of your religion’s dogma and traditions as long as you keep it away from everybody else.

But I don’t want to cut myself into smaller pieces. I don’t want to take a part of my life and culture and being and hide it away behind closed doors. It’s just…hypocritical and disappointing when people, who clamor about their love for the contradictory and self-authentic, hate when they’re confronted with it.

#tower of babble #catholic #lgbt #side b #sorry I saw a very good post pointing out the way queer Jews are often cited with the caveat that they’re not observant Jews #and how there are queer observant Jews but I didn’t want to derail so I made my own post #because fuckin hell how often do you see white queers telling queer Muslim women to stop wearing their hibjabi (unless it’s for ~cultural~ #purposes). it’s disgusting and demeaning to assume queer people don’t have deeply meaningful spiritual lives. #side b Christians 🤝 observant queer Jews 🤝 devout queer Muslims #me. happily trans and gay: I’m so happy and blessed to have this body and life - #homo/transphobes: you’re going to hell you’re evil you’re stupid you’re faking it #me: huh. oh. um. well I’m still blessed because I know you are not speaking with Christ in your heart- #a surprising number of self proclaimed radicals: uhhhh please don’t acknowledge that you’re Christian it makes us. uncomfortable. #me: …being uncomfortable and confused about others is the pride of Pride? the queer community thrives on contradiction and self definition? #anyways. prof put my pronouns down as he/she/they on the syllabus and I am popping the biggest gender affirming bottles tonight #(praying a chaplet and eating rice like the grad student peasant I am)

[ctl-yuejie]

"It will just end how it started"

#only friends the series #only friends #ofts #neo trai #mark pakin #i am living for them #glad nick found out in ep 3 and we have now a bunch of episodes of them just making everything worse for each other #nick really worked so hard on keeping boston i want to hug him #his proud smile after jerking boston off ;A; #and he tries to voice when he is uncomfortable and at the same time already realizes that boston is very much not on the same page #and my boy is already escelating listening in on the car sex #possible intended the bug for other reasons but baby - do not put yourself through hearing the whole thing in stereo....you could already #see them from the outside #have to had it to boston: he really nearly doesn't care at all about getting seen #p'jojo getting in his tweet <3 #it is very telling that nick clearly knows who boston is but in his mind their encounters are just a tad more romantic with a focus on the #kissing they are doing and not so much the sex itself #fyi: i saved these gif files under the ship name 'tonnic'

[trickstersaint]

vacation bible school activity: where did you find god in your life today? // february 18 2024

#hi! i'm normal! #this is where that little passage from earlier is from btw. will reblog that post with just that passage again cause it drives me insane #anyway. i'm rlly glad that all the tumblr girlies are putting their concept of god into the beauty of the everyday. #makes me really fucking uncomfortable though 😭 #i am fr trying not to see that guy... would like to get away from him actually... trying very hard... #poems about religion #poems about god #poetry #poem #poems #poets on tumblr #poems and poetry #poetsandwriters #original poem #could never be a quaker that stuff scares the shit out of me

[cupiidzbow]

im adding a new thing to my new carrd im making and i know not everyone reads it when following me so im just gonna post this here in advance before I finish the carrd 😭😭😭

#I love sharing my f/os and you can think the guys I like are attractive all you want!!! #but I just don’t like treated like im a blank character where other people can insert themselves in place of me 😭😭😭 #like . it’s just very much me….. yknow … like thats now I portray myself 😭😭😭 #my sonas aren’t really separated from me. they’re indeed me 😭😭😭 #i had art I’ve drawn of my sona blow up and people going me coded!!! Or misgendering me bc they don’t think it’s me 😭😭 #like no that’s me . hope that helps 😭 #I’m also gonna add a couple characters I am uncomfortable with people shipping with to my cards bc um…. side eyes… uhhh #like there’s a handful of characters im gonna look at you a bit weird over #but trust me almost all of people I interact with are all good I promise 🫶🏽 #txt

[toasts-httyd-hyperfixation]

So i made this lil transparent worm-on-a-string Hiccup a while back

Im leaving him here for yall to watch while i go do a Thing

Im sure when i get back he wont be in any precarious situations, or unsavory circumstances, or anything of that ilk

Anyways

Have fun

Ill be back

#httyd books #httyd #book hiccup #how to train your dragon #how to train your dragon books #to be explicitly clear about this post: i am uploading this guy with the idea that someone may copy/paste him into various situations #like historical photos/bowls of soup/over an active volcano whatever #thats why he's transparent so you dont have to photoshop or whatever if ya wanna do it #i also dont expect anyone other than like my friends to do this #because Social Anxiety is a thing and interacting with strangers is Uncomfortable so like not everyone's gonna wanna do it #and thats cool if you just wanna reblog the boy cause you like him without edits or anything #but also anyone can slap this guy into a photo or whatever i dont care #i just wanna see my guy in situations lol #i feel like i had more to say but idk so #im aware this is a long explanation for this but #i like explaining to be clear #recently had a test that had very little instructions and i didnt know what to do so #im also probably just in an extra explaining mood cause of that lol

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso

#half asleep making these istg #yayyyy p9? idk ig i expected him to do better #old man asleep at the wheel whats new 😴 #he was very quick w this interview i wonder if he was eager to get to bed #i certainly am rn #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2023 las vegas gp #(i wish i could atop feeling insecure abt my gifs. i do it for fun.) #(of course i want them to look somewhat good but i get a bit ill over it) #(there was somw drama on here at some point that made me want to completely stop posting then ngl) #(cause like what is the point if im not as good as others ig :/ this is kinda vague posting but it made me so uncomfortable) #(as i said. i do it for fun in quick time bcs yay jsut wanna post smth i found cute) #(but ever sincce that thing happened its just made me extremely self critical and insecure abt posting) #(idk why im saying this. kinda repressing the urge tk be like 'SRY THESE ARE TERRIBLE. YEAH.') #(i need to sleep. but i often feel like this literally every time i post now bcs some people get on their high horse and ruin people's fun) #(iykyk ig. its smth bothering me lately. but i hate to act so morose. but i still feel bad abt the quality sometimes. i guess.) #we do a little bit of f1

[sapphorror]

#invader zim #zadr #zade #zadp #iz posting #natterings #saph reads #let it be known i tried to think of a clever caption for this but sometimes words just dont cut it #anyway i sympathize with takship can you even imagine how uncomfortable itd be getting forced to third wheel for these guys of all guys #i am just... so enamored by their ever-standing dynamic of pursuer and the pursued #the very particular type if devotion that comes from the willingness to follow someone into hell or worse #not to hold their hand but simply because youll never let them escape #and its not even a question that youd follow wherever they lead #THE WAY ANTAGONISM CAN OPERATE IDENTICALLY TO LOYALTY #AND THE WAY THIS BEATING HEART OF THEIR DYNAMIC HAS BEEN THERE UNCHANGED SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING #zadr chase scenes are fundamentally symbolic change my mind

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[the-yearning-astronaut]

I wish I could be agender the way Murderbot is agender. Right down to the lack of biological sexual characteristics. So agender that the term agender comes with too much associated gender to accurately apply. You know what I mean?

#help the dysphoria is kicking my ass again today and everything about me looks and feels wrong #demigirl still feels like it is applicable but also i wish i was more masculine but NOT in that way only THIS way #am i uncomfortable with my curves because of internalized fatphobia? because of the association with being feminine? both? #is it my actual curves themselves or is it the very reality of having a physical body that will be gendered some way no matter what i do? #i hate it I hate all of it #Murderbot #agender #gender #gender dysphoria #body dysphoria #dysphoria #fox thoughts #'maybe if i dress more masculine that will help' #nope no thats still leaning into gender #how do i do both at once so that they cancel each other out? #i don't want to be masculine but i don't want to be female lite™ either #I don't want to be perceived as having any gender at all and its not fucking possible #fuck i don't even want to deal with pronouns 80% of the time and i don't care for my name either #why does physically existing suck so bad sometimes #☉

[bonefall]

Are you going to keep Goosefeather's curse? If so are you going to change anything about it? From my memory the book was... depressing.

It will probably get rolled into Pinestar's Crusade, building it up into an SE rather than just a novella. There's actually a lot going on in that specific moment, and it makes sense to go over it all at once.

So to answer your question, yes, most of Goosefeather's Curse is staying. Most of the Crusade Generation have depressing stories to tell. If the Thistle Period is defined by the fact that Thistle Law metastasized and went terminal, and if the Campaign Era was when it was newly born, then the Crusade Era was when it was first conceived.

I've been thinking about Pinestar's Crusade idly and mentioned it a few times, but here's my fragments so far;

PINESTAR'S CRUSADE (Fuses Pinestar's Choice and Goosefeather's Curse)

We start in the Crusade Era; there is now more focus on 3 major characters, though it's still built around Pinestar as the POV

Pinestar, Goosefeather, and eventually Pinepaw's apprentice Speckletail.

Pinepaw is born into the start of the Crusades, a bloody period where the Clans are invading Chelford and brutalizing cats in the hopes of appeasing StarClan. He only begins to learn the full story of what happened in Darkstar's Commandment once he begins going to Gatherings as a warrior

The truth being that Oakstar came up with this idea because he couldn't take an L

But even as an apprentice, it becomes quickly apparent to him that what they're doing is evil. They were brutalizing kittypets who aren't trained to fight back.

During his first raid as an apprentice, he allows a ginger-and-white mother and her kittens to escape

This came back years later, when that queen, Crystal, forms BloodClan in response to the Crusades.

Pineheart watches Oakstar die barely a year later to the queen he saved, using early claw extenders to cut right through him. Even if he hadn't been on his last life, it would have ended him.

But, Crystal lets Pineheart go, recognizing the Clan cat who had saved her life.

Watching his dad die along with several friends, and countless more innocent Chelford, plus being released by Crystal, is a Formative Moment.

Doestar continues the Crusades in the name of revenge for Oakstar, but now that BloodClan exists and is ARMED, the easy raids become bloodbaths.

They slowly peter out, not with a bang but with a whimper. She never announces an official end, eventually she just stops organizing them. No one gets closure, especially not Pineheart.

But the 'peace' doesn't last. Just before Heatherstar takes power from Smallstar and begins the Campaign to take the Mothermouth Moorland, ThunderClan deals with the Great Hunger

Pineheart and Goosefeather become very good friends, part of a little buddy group that also included Tawnyspots and Pheasantfeather (who will become One-eye later)

Pineheart was given his first apprentice, a rowdy little one and the niece of Doestar, Specklepaw. He's tasked with helping her fill the pawsteps of greatness she's destined to walk in.

Just like canon, Goose predicts the Great Hunger... though, he is an adult this time around because of some timeline changes.

And, like canon, it fails. They couldn't stockpile enough food to last an entire year of famine, a scorching summer and a frozen winter, they end up losing a huge stock of their food as if it was destiny.

Goosefeather was forced into a role he hates, given horrible visions of the future, and argues ferociously with Pineheart; if they hadn't tried to stockpile, they wouldn't have lost all that food to begin with.

It is in this moment, he comes to realize that every time he's fought back and used his visions like a warning, it's backfired.

So, perhaps, they are instruction.

But, meanwhile, Pineheart can't loose his apprentice or his friends. While others were hunting desperately, he was keeping cats alive through scouting for grubs, foraying into other territories, and...

Every bite of kittypet food he took for himself was a morsel in someone else's mouth. But this... this he kept quiet.

It started a "bad habit" he could never break.

Having lost the previous deputy to starvation and on her deathbed, Doestar nominates Pineheart to the position. He was shocked and upset by this, but he was the obvious choice.

Son of Oakstar, Hero of the Hunger, the cat who had kept Specklepaw alive when all the other kits and apprentices starved.

But, Pinestar took the helm to extreme controversy.

Everything Pinestar's ever done that worked was nonviolent. He's never seen battle do anything but bring harm, and the thought of leading people into war... it makes him feel sick.

But the rest of the Clan can't see what he sees. They yearn for the glory days (even though they were not glorious at all), itch to die for a cause, and leave this old, disgusting subsistence survival behind them. ThunderClan wants blood and Pinestar just wants peace.

Taking back Sunningrocks is an example of this. To avoid losing Clanmates, he proposed to Hailstar that they would have a Joust, instead.

ThunderClan's strongest against RiverClan's strongest. Adderfang vs Mudfur.

It didn't go well.

The problem with those sorts of situations is you have to abide by the deal. RiverClan took Sunningrocks for 6 months. It was humiliating for ThunderClan.

Even the cats he'd saved from the famine were furious with him

The only things that DID seem to please the Clan was when he would throw them fully into battle. Such as Goosefeather's prophecy that WindClan's herbs needed to be destroyed...

Every time a situation like that happened, where Goosefeather would phrase things as a Holy Struggle, Pinestar was thrown right back to the Crusades

Terrified eyes, screeching, cats begging for mercy, his father dead at his paws and feeling horror and relief swirling

Sitting vigil for old friends killed in these horrible fights, like Moonflower, it made him feel like how he felt the day he buried Oakstar.

And the bile rose in his throat, remembering that Oakstar was not there at his Leadership Ceremony, damned to the Dark Forest.

A thought was born, here. What does StarClan truly want? What do they expect of him? If they will send the architect of the Crusades there...

What of a cat who stayed fed on human food and fed grubs to his Clanmates? Or a leader who never knows the right thing to do?

When Mumblefoot retired and Sunfall became deputy, the Clan seemed to love him more than Pinestar. He found himself just... sitting back, and allowing Sunfall to call the shots.

It was towards the end, when Leopardfoot proposed an Honor Siring. He was from a glorious legacy, she wanted kits... and on his end, he wanted the peace that raising kittens could bring.

The warmth of human dens was calling him, but perhaps the warmth of love for children could keep him home.

UNLIKE CANON; Nothing about Tigerkit was born evil.

There was no StarClan vision of Tigerstar; Goosefeather knew full well that Thistlestar was the Leader of Prophecy.

But Pinestar would never give Thistleclaw an apprentice in time. Nor would he ever give his own little son to a cat as vicious as him.

Goosefeather never hurt anyone... but Pinestar just needed a push.

Pinestar was already anxious, unhappy, clinging to the goodness that was his little kits. Even as two of them were lost to minor illnesses, shortly after receiving their names.

It wasn't a lie. It was just half of the truth.

"Pinestar... you have a choice to make. StarClan has given me a vision of blood and war, and Tigerkit will have a role to play in it."

He DID have a vision... of Thistlestar. Not Tigerkit. But that was enough for Pinestar, his fear and trauma took the helm from there.

He'd seen his friends, his apprentice, the kits who had been born and died in his rule, all of them turn into the monsters Clan Culture demanded

Nothing he did ever seemed to work, why would THIS moment be different?

How could he prevent Tigerkit from becoming like that too?! Was StarClan telling him to KILL his son??

Pinestar's never had a vision from StarClan. He doesn't have the aptitude like a Cleric... what he has is a nightmare, of Tigerkit growing so large he crushes the whole camp under his claws

After a week of agony, Pinestar unknowingly creates a prophecy of his own,

"Can only the death of a child break fate?"

Sensing he was close to victory, Goosefeather dipped his head, not denying his question.

And it's the last straw.

And that is the climax of Pinestar's Crusade. Broken from his experiences, every turn taken for peace causing him more pain, the idea that he might have to hurt his own son plaguing his mind, he makes the choice to leave.

It wasn't hard, he'd still had that old bad habit of taking bites of kittypet food, a couple friends on the other side. But what he doesn't know is that by leaving with his life... he prevents Sunstar from acquiring his own.

Sunstar had ONE single life, StarClan was not able to give him more with the previous leader still alive. For leaving his Clan, for unknowingly preventing the transfer of power, and for dismissing the Warrior Code, Pinestar is sent to the Dark Forest after his death.

He can choose to walk there, or spend time in the mortal plane as just a spirit, but StarClan offers him no place in the cosmos.

#Pinestar's Crusade #Better Bones AU #So yeah it's still depressing LMAO sorryyyy #im a sucker for the theme where someone you raised and loved became part of an evil system #failure to protect. How COULD you have done differently? Was there anything at all that could have saved them? #i've mentioned it before but I love Pinestar most as the foil of Firestar #and it's very underexplored as an idea #How Firestar succeeded where Pinestar failed #Literally like a brighter version of you #someone who never gave up past the point where you would have broken #and how painful and uncomfortable that idea must be #It doesssss things to me #Also I am still shuffling the timeline #Pinestar might end up being old enough to remember Mapleshade... BUT we'll see #It might be pretty funny to have Pinepaw watch his dad take several Ls in Darkstar's Commandment #''this is my cringefail boomer dad who I have a complicated relationship to. he cannot swim. oh god. oh fuck''