#i am wearing a clown wig

[a-lil-perspective]

Hello wtf is this last season of the Bad Batch.😂😂

#it’s the reincarnated Ventress for me #I am LAUGHING MY ASS OFF over the appearance of dead Ventress😂😂 #the Bad Batch is wearing clown wigs at this point #😂😂I can’t #I almost didn’t feel the need to comment lmao I’m not near as invested in this show anymore #really don’t even care how it goes this last season tbh #the bad batch #bad batch #clone force 99 #bad batch season 3 #bad batch trailer #lil rambles #it’s a lil thing

[theirondragonrants]

so here's the thing, HERE'S THE THING, RIGHT?

I was determined to 1. love Nyra, 2. Feel all kinds of ways about Viserys I, 3. LOATHE THAT HIGHTOWER BITCH, 4. Straight up wanna boil Otto alive

The fact that this show tried to MAKE ME LIKE ALICENT BY GIVING ME GAY VIBES? WITH RHAENYRA OF ALL PEOPLE? Bitch. Biiiiitch. I knew the GOT universe would do me like this again, I KNEW IT. I knew it the moment those pictures were released where Rhaenyra and Alicent looked about the same age. I knew it in the FIRST SCENE THEY SHARED. And yet. Here I am.

SIIIIGHHH

Honestly, the fact that the Rhaenyra and Daemon scenes only gave me SOME hibbie jibbies compared to every scene with Alicent is saying something.

#and yet #I will wear my clown shoes #put on a wig that looks better than Matt Smith's monstrosity of a headpiece #honk my little red nose #and hop on this bitch ass ride #God WHEN rhaenyra told her she wanted to go riding and eat cake #I don't know HOW they're going to handle the eventual downfall for them but LORDT I am in pain already #house of the dragon #alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #viserys i targaryen #otto hightower #yes this is my second post ranting about the Hightower bitch. what of it 😭 #SIGH #daemon targaryen

[munamania]

also have been sitting here all morning just going... i really do just say things... and people can hear me... and might remember and perceive me along with things i say and associate that with me...

#and this is mostly about me being the main character of class last night because well we watched my face on a giant screen for two hours #and even unrelated. i just said so many things... why did i have to talk about the gay frat. or annoying roommates. or offer my vest #or anyones hair. my hair. or anything. why did i have to say words. im sure this sounds a bit nonsensical but i just sound so silly. #people were laughing and happy but damn... am i mere court jester forever... :(( #heavy is the head that wears the clown wig or whatever #abby talks #imagine me doing a sad jig rn because im just so :/// about the whole situation with firlm girlie and that one class. it's bumming me out #opposite of academic validation

[grin-unsettling]

the epilogue patch was content Larian had cut because they didn't want the ending to "drag on" but they ended up restoring it since players felt like the endings were too rushed and wanted more time with the characters. they are a small company compared to the AAA devs out there making $80 skeleton games with $500 in DLC you need to pay for to get the full game. Larian is not that by a long shot.

ignoring the fact that larian reps talked about upper city (epilogue content) just *weeks* before release making their announcements about cutting it being a looooong since planned move a blatant lie, ignoring the fact that the game has been riddled with bugs and other broken content to an unreasonable and sometimes absurd extent (not just the epilogue cut content), ignoring the fact that their announcements are just uwu we're sowwy abt the bugs messages and saying how it was all planned all along, ignoring the fact that larian is not really as small a studio as you say, it has approx same amount of employees as bethesda studios and more than bioware had at their peak with dai success, and larian also forces their workers into crunch so they're not saints

none of it changes fact that the game was released notoriously unfinished. and whether they are or are not small is not an excuse. larian released an unfinished game, and it's so normalized in the industry now that here you are springing to their defense

#'don't believe his lies' meme but instead of pic of todd howard it's swen vincke #getting cp77 flashbacks. putting a studio on pedestal and then doubling down when all the same ol shit is revealed abt them #naturally THIS time it's fine bcz it's a studio that made all your favorite blorbos #don't get me wrong i love bg3 i got it the moment it went into early access i am wearing that clown wig and that clown nose but honestly #some of the stuff you guys defend and excuse larian from? literally proving the point of that post :| #asks

[iznsfw]

Adult Happy Meal

Kep1er's Shen Xiaoting x Ronald McDonald

1091 words

Categories | NOT SPONSORED BY/AFFILIATED TO/PROMOTED BY MCDONALD'S WHATSOEVER, exhibitionism, cunnilingus

Dedicated to everyone who ships Xiaoting with McDonald.

Ronald McDonald has never felt unsure about himself in his life.

It's a truth that many don't dare to believe. People would think a clown, complete with the red wig and balled nose who stood outside the branch of his diner, would feel more than inferior. If they were put in his place, they would feel exactly that. However, McDonald argues that if you ran a fast food chain that remained relevant even after all those years, which brought you money that's more than enough to take over the world itself, you wouldn't feel any bit of low self-esteem. Even if he does have to wear and keep up his clown persona, it's better than running a niche café nobody ever went to.

For fuck's sake, it's better than being Pennywise.

Besides, when the job brings him a pretty sight like that tall girl looking excitedly at the red-themed restaurant, he won't complain.

Xiaoting sticks out like a sore thumb in every place you put her in. You can put her in a museum rather than a McDonald's and she'd be photographed more than the Mona Lisa. Her quiet kind of beauty and slim body make him want to honk something other than the ball on his face.

There she is, dressed beautifully in a white tube top and skirt, looking like a goddess among men. Then you have him in a ridiculous clown suit and makeup. Will she even notice him this way? Will she just disregard him like every other customer does? He's never felt this low before.

"You can talk to me, you know."

The goddess has spoken. He blinks his shadowed eyes twice. "What?"

She laughs prettily. "You know," she says, raising an eyebrow, "talk to me instead of staring at me like I'm one of your spicy fried chickens."

McDonald is flustered, to say the least. She looks innocent; her eyes hold a silent, doe-like quality to their irises, and her smile is small. But if she's the type to let a clown flirt with her, then she's probably anything other than innocent.

Will she let a clown fuck her? he wonders.

"Fine." Two can play this game. "You know who I am. Your name?"

"Xiaoting," says she.

McDonald is tempted to make a pun about her name, but it's probably another thing she hears too often. Considering this, he remains silent.

Fortunately, she keeps the conversation going.

"I have an offer to make you," Xiaoting tells him.

Suddenly, she's got her hands smoothing down the white collars of his suit while a tiny, smug smile plays on her kissable lips.

McDonald can feel a lump in his throat. He's suddenly thankful the white clown makeup covers his heavy blush. "And what can that be?"

"I can give you another meal that'll make you happy," Xiaoting tells the clown with a wink.

Ronald doesn't know what to say, but his eyes showed all that was necessary.

Xiaoting brings her hand downwards, undoing the zipper of her skirt. It falls to the floor, promptly along with her underwear.

"I may not be KFC, McDonald," she says, "but this pussy is finger-lickin good."

"Don't say something you can't back up, Xiaoting," Ronald tells her, laughing to mask his surprise.

Xiaoting looks around. The crowds of customers inside the restaurant who can see the shenanigans she's making with him don't stop her from sitting down on the brown, convenience bench, spreading her legs, and parting her folds with her fingers for McDonald.

"You can see for yourself, if you want," she says cheekily.

All hesitation melts from his body. He's had offers made to him before—proposed collaborations from supposedly big artists, new recipes made in secret, etcetera etcetera—but none of those sound as good as what Xiaoting's giving him right now.

(Or taste as good.)

He's on his knees, wrapping his white gloved hands around Xiaoting's full thighs. He then begins to eat the girl's cunt. Her juices drip on his tongue, and he collects more of it in his mouth as he plunges his tongue in and out of her. Instantly, he realizes that Xiaoting tastes better than any frappe he's had his staff made. Surely those trendy beverages don't taste as sweet as she does?

"Ahh, I'm loving it!" Xiaoting moans. Her fingers curl into his red wig and pull, hard. She removes one hand from the clown's head to squeeze her own boob.

He grips her ass tightly, spanking her, while she squirms in his hands. Her dancer's hips create a dazed choreography not even one of his mascots can perform perfectly at a child's birthday party his restaurant would sponsor.

Her nipples perk through the fabric of her tube top. Is she braless? He knew it. He makes sure to bring them to full hardness, just like her sensitive nub, by drawing random patterns inside her slick pussy. Xiaoting's lounging in paradise; her legs feel weak, but she can see stars. That's exsctly why McDonald's is open 24 hours a day.

"Yes, yes, yes!" she screams. Each spank he throws at her bouncy bubble butt brings her closer to the edge. Every pair of eyes that look her way with shock makes her cheeks almost as red as the restaurnat's color scheme. "Yes, eat my pussy so good that I'll want to go here everyday!"

McDonald releases her clit from between his suckling lips. "No."

"What?" Xiaoting asks, shocked.

"Work for me. Work for my mouth. Do you really want me, Xiaoting?"

"Yes!" she screams. She locks her legs around his neck and pushes his head down on her pussy to make him resume. "Yes, I love you, McDonald! I love McDonald's! I'll work for you everyday here and cater to all the rude customers if you fuck me like this! Please make me cum!"

That's what he wants to hear. That's all he ever wanted to hear—not the good feedback or reviews, not the remarks of his customers, but this: Xiaoting's passive moans.

In response, he raises her legs upward and flicks his tongue on her clit madly. He dares to lick at her tempting asshole, causing her to scream rather loudly, before returning to tongue-fucking her. Xiaoting's legs curl in a way that makes them look like they're recreating the M logo of his restaurant. They're truly meant to be together.

He continues eating Xiaoting's pussy, which tastes better than any Big Mac or chicken meal, until she cums. After that, she lies broken on the bench, just like his ice cream machine.

#kpop smut #shen xiaoting smut #kepler smut #kep1er smut #gp999 smut #girls planet 999 smut #xiaoting smut #kepler xiaoting smut #kep1er xiaoting smut

[tiger-mcqueen]

I see a lot of folks noting the things Ted Lasso has in common with Sleepless in Seattle after Ted said it's the superior Nora Ephron film.

And, yup, I did a rewatch of the film (it's one of my favorites) and took notes too just like a lot of you lol.

There are the obvious things of course. The whole soulmatey-destiny-cosmic-forces vibe, signs (that the heroine is a skeptic of), a focus on planes and boats, an Oklahoma reference, Dr. Fieldstone (who begs people to just talk to each other and admit their feelings). There are Wizard of Oz nods too: Somewhere Over the Rainbow plays after the first radio show, when Annie hears Sam for the first time, Annie and Walter's dinner at the Rainbow Room, Sam mentioning growing a new heart, the reference to a friend named Glenda.

But being the tedbecca clown and yoga enthusiast I am (*proudly adjusts clown wig before stretching*), here are a few other things I noticed:

When Victoria is traveling, she offers to bring Noah a snow globe from the place she's visiting.

The quote: "What we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match." "Y'all's baggage just matches right up, don't it?"

When Annie stops at the diner, she orders tea.

Jonah's Seattle Mariners hat matches the believe colors, and (I know but I stretched before this reach) at the end of the movie, when Sam and Annie hold hands for the first time, he's wearing a yellow jacket and her coat is blue.

And, my favorite (I honestly gasped), the host who seats Sam and Victoria when they first meet for dinner is named...Derick.

Now for my Affair notes:

Sleepless in Seattle paid homage to An Affair to Remember, so let's think about that movie in relation to Ted Lasso, too.

(Before I really dig in, we all know from both movies about the Empire State Building and February 14, but do you remember the teaser trailer for this season was dropped on Valentines' Day?)

Now, in Nora Ephron's Sleepless, the movie and especially the ending of Affair was touted as the most romantic thing ever.

To summarize it: The heroine (Terry) and hero (Nickie) meet while they're involved with others and take a quick "friends to lovers" journey. They realize their feelings and vow to resolve the issues keeping them apart (relationships, careers), and then meet in six months at the top of the Empire State Building. When that day comes, Terry's hit by a cab while rushing to meet Nickie...and Nickie waits in vain in the rain and thunder and lightning until he gives up, thinking she doesn't love him. She won't tell him about the accident because it left her unable to walk. Nickie visits Terry in her apartment and is just about to leave forever when he sees one of his paintings (that his agent gave to a woman in a wheelchair) and realizes what happened. Love and happiness ensues.

So:

-Ted and Rebecca aren't involved with others when they meet, but they are very hung up on their exes, and they have to work through their issues before they're ready to be in a relationship with someone.

-There's been debate for a while in the general Ted Lasso fandom about the show foreshadowing a car accident. Ted even almost steps in front of a car a few times.

-Rebecca's "thunder and lighting" haven't happened yet.

-Ted's not a painter like Nickie, but the Hockney drawing that Rupert gave Rebecca is important to her journey. And this show likes parallels, so I've been thinking about how a drawing/painting/piece of artwork involving Ted might play a part in an eventual tedbecca. I've wondered if he might get her a copy of one of Hockney's lightning prints because he knows she likes the artist.

I don't know.

I'm not thinking Ted and Rebecca will vow to meet at the top of the Empire State Building or anything like that. But I have long thought any revelation of feelings between Ted and Rebecca would be in the very ending of the show, just like in Sleepless in Seattle.

(*puts on clown shoes*)

Now I'm fully into the idea that a car accident, thunder and lightning, and possibly a painting...all in homage to An Affair to Remember...will play a part in the realization of feelings and ensuing confession.

#tedbecca #ted x rebecca #yoga loving clown

[wanderingblindly]

I’m curious to learn more about the Japan deportation story???

I Almost Got Deported For Looking Like a Clown? [REAL][NOT CLICKBAIT][KIND OF][LMAO]

For context, I studied abroad at a small Tokyo campus that my American university runs -- small enough that basically everyone knew everyone, or at least could recognize everyone. Meaning I, someone wearing five inch platforms with fucking ridiculous makeup, was pretty conspicuous.

The events:

Received an email demanding I meet with the head of the university's legal council

Panicked crying and throwing up (I'm terrified of being in trouble)

Was informed that they were inquiring about a drug deal on campus

Realized they were accusing ME of being the drug dealer

Their evidence included: a date/time; an eye witness statement that the drug dealer was wearing... overalls and circular glasses? Aka the most popular trend in Japan at the time

Their evidence did not include: my class attendance at the same date/time; the fact that I was the tallest woman on campus (obvious); the fact that my hair was electric blue or tucked under a massive wig (pink, red, or white); my visible, very identifiable tattoos; any actual proof that it was me, the most unsubtle person in the vicinity

Realized I was being very obviously type-casted based on how I looked

Plot twist: I'm a complete straight edge that's allergic to weed (he did not appreciate this response)

I proceeded to tell him off while actively crying because I was so pissed/scared. It was, it retrospect, very much giving "do you fucking know who I am?????".

But basically I reminded him that his employer paid me to be at that school, and I was the best student on their entire campus. Ergo, removing me from my studies for illegitimate nonsense was going to reflect very poorly on his entire 'investigation'. I bullied him into getting me an extension for my remaining finals essay, and all was right with the world. No deportation :))

#oh my god and this entire thing happened while all my friends and family in america were asleep #so they woke up to me screaming texting like: #'WHY IS A WEEB LAWYER TRYING TO DEPORT ME I CAN'T EVEN DO DRUGS' #anyways the real drug dealer was the eye witness lmao #got a 100% on that paper tho #ask me :) #rambling.txt

[candyredmusings]

“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

���GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"

#txt #rp meme #rp memes #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #ask prompts #inbox memes #inbox prompts #dj khaled voice: anotha one #candyredtext

[askthedoa]

AN ENTIRE ESSAY? *points and laughs* As if!

[ANON DONT YOU DARE ENCOURAGE ME.]

...Alright. take a look at these 2 images side by side. I'm going to break each difference into a paragraph to make a proper essay.

First off, let's begin with the makeup. While the clown wears a pallette full of bright blues, reds, and white powder to cover their face, I have a far more natural look. Unlike the clown, I do not have the need to cover my face in makeup, since it is already adorable!

Then there's the hair. The clown wears a red wig, or has red hair. I myself wear no wig and have lovely white hair. Notice the different shapes of our hair too. His hair is all poofy while mine is much flatter and has a luscious braid.

Thirdly, the clown lacks expression. It has a unending grin, and it can't do anything but laugh. I am far more dramatic and fun! I can show confusion, excitement, or shock, meanwhile the clown can't do any of that.

Next, Notice my scheme. I wear mostly black and white. A simple mix of colors that pops out but also looks classical. I refuse to believe that eyesore of colors is better than me.

The clown also lacks personality! That my dear friend could be any clown. It represents the most basic design for a clown one could think of. Meanwhile, look at me! I wear a cloak, a fun little hat, and a 3 of diamonds eye cover! You can tell I'm a clown and a jester, but I have personality.

Note my eye too. It shows genuine expression, like my face. The clown just looks like it's glaring into your soul, meanwhile you can tell by looking at my eye that I am confused or intrigued. Now tell me, how do you think that clown feels? You can't give me a good answer, now can you.

The clown wears a rubber nose, which is a foolish decision! I instead wear a clean pom pom on my shirt that brings color to my outfit but doesn't look as off putting as that!

Another important thing is that he doesn't have a fun hat! Mine adds even more flair to my outfit, meanwhile he can't even do that much.

Alas, I would continue, but this is plenty enough.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd ask #bsd asks #nikolai answers #nikolai gogol

[jazz-penguin]

I'm reading "the Byler Bible" now and I'm overwhelmed. Feels like the Duffers themselves made it to make it clear to sweet summer children, who still believe in M + El, why byler has always been canon. I'm fascinated how subtle and hidden it was during previous seasons, never obvious, and how we were tricked to believe in M + El.

The Eyewitness parallel is just wow *_* So is the Ghostbusters one.

If byler is endgame, the show is a masterpiece. And now I don't have any doubts about byler happening in s4 or s5.

If for some reason it turns out not to be endgame, I will wear my clown's wig with pride, since it will be more pride in it, than in a show with all this evidence leading to nothing.

#byler #byler better be canon #byler is canon #byler is endgame #mike wheeler #will byers #the byble #byler masterdoc #mike x will #mike and will #will x mike #will and mike

[ace-of-zaun]

The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time: pt. 3

Silco x f!reader - SFW

CW: threat/injury detail, swears, rude customers, ANGST, trust issues, self-doubt/ruminating, fluff, soft things and feelings?? in my ‘just for fun’ fic??

6.1k words

Summary: After your reluctant departure from The Last Drop, you’re delighted to gain a new regular at your market stall. But you might have bitten off more than you can chew when you find yourself getting inexplicably closer to the Eye of Zaun.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8

A/N: oh no. I’m back again. And this fic is getting dafter by the minute. Also, I am sorry to this man for making him such a reader simp. But, it’s true, he would be absolutely crazy about you. Okay, much love to you all, -elsie x

-

The second time you met the King of the Undercity, you were working your job at the market stall. Well, working may have been an overstatement. You were actually seeing how many blueberries you could successfully chuck into your boss’ open mouth, as he snored loudly from the other end of the table.

It had been a slow work day to say the least, and your boss had been asleep for the majority of it, so you didn’t feel bad about terrorising him for your own entertainment. Although, you should feel bad, considering he’d been kind enough to give you your job back after going AWOL for three days straight.

Of course, you didn’t tell him what had really happened to you. No-one was going to believe that you’d been wrongly kidnapped and bound to a chair by two idiotic gang members. I mean, come on, we’ve all used that excuse before, it’s the oldest trick in the book. And only a fool would believe you’d then been carried to safety by none other than the King of Zaun, and been allowed to take shelter in his home whilst he dealt with the threat.

Instead, you’d told your boss that you were sick and miraculously, he’d believed you. Just like that. No questions asked. …You felt like a god.

Whatever medicine Silco’s doctor had given you after you’d passed out in the warehouse had worked a treat because you’d barely felt any pain from it since (except of course from your initial headache after waking up). You wondered if you could get a hold of some of it to keep in your cupboard at home, for when you inevitably stub your toe on the doorframe for the umpteenth time this month.

You’d just thrown another blueberry, that had missed your boss’ mouth but had rather amusingly fallen down into his shirt, no doubt creating a sticky mess against his skin, when you heard someone clear their throat from behind you. As you turn, it takes mere seconds for you to put on your ‘customer service face’ which consisted of the most sickly-sweet smile you could conjure up, paired with a gaze that could only be described as ‘dead-behind-the-eyes’.

“Hello, how can I help you today?” you begin, the phrase you’ve said so many times at this point, you’re certain it’ll be etched onto your gravestone, alongside a drawing of you wearing your work apron and a clown wig.

You almost do a full-on comedy sitcom double take when you see him.

Silco. The Silco. At your market stall. …The heck?

He’s stood on the other side of the table wearing his signature ensemble (that fits him so damn well), his hair is slicked back in its usual style, and his arms are folded behind him. And those sharp, bewitching eyes, that you were much too enticed by to ever be truly afraid of, are looking directly at you. Honestly, the nerve of this man. How dare he look this good on a Wednesday afternoon??

You fight the urge to say: ‘well, if it isn’t Old Silky himself’ and instead gape at him wide-eyed, as if you were one of the fish on the market stall opposite yours.

“Good afternoon, my dear. I’m wondering if you could assist me with a purchase today,” he informs you smoothly, a playful smirk dancing on his scarred lips.

Ah. So this is the game you were playing. Truth be told, you’d missed this. It had been less than a week since you’d left him at The Last Drop, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t spent most of that time trying to figure out a reasonable way back to him. Seems like he’d solved your problem for you.

Your face morphs into a wide grin and you put on the most exaggerated voice you can muster in your new character of ‘employee of the month’.

“Of course, are you looking for anything in particular today, sir?”

You make a point to coyly emphasise the last word of that sentence, as you recall the time he’d specifically told you not to call it him, when you’d awoken at The Last Drop.  

His amused eyes scan across the items and a part of you wonders whether he’s ever set foot in a kitchen before, let alone used one of the utensils laid out neatly in front of him. For the life of you, you can’t picture the man cooking, although you do note with a tiny amount of shame that you would very much like to see him in an apron.

Silco picks up a pizza wheel and meets your gaze, his eyes shining as he awaits your reaction.

“You might struggle to kill someone with that,” you tell him coquettishly, and his smirk widens even more.

“I’ll find a way,” he replies in that low, low drawl that has you taking in a shallow breath.

You bite your tongue once more, as the self-destructive part of you itches to respond with: ‘ooh, now sir, don’t threaten me with a good time’, but you hold it in. Just.

“If it’s a weapon you’re after, might I suggest these measuring spoons?”

“And how, pray tell, could I use those to incapacitate my enemies?”

“Well, they are the perfect size to gouge somebody’s eye out,” you inform him demurely, your lips pouting and head tilting as you hold his gaze.

His chuckle is dark, and quite frankly, delicious. You want him to do it again.

“I’ll take them both.”

“Of course, sir.”

You can’t help but grin as he hands you the money and you carefully place the measuring spoons in his hand, alongside the pizza wheel already in his palm.

“Thank you, have a good day!”

“Oh, I will.”

His lips are still twisted in that sinful smirk, which only makes you certain he can hear the goosebumps beginning to dot the skin on the back of your neck.

With one last sweeping gaze over you, he leaves, and you watch him walk down the street, the pizza wheel and measuring spoons disappearing into his coat pocket as he heads back towards The Last Drop. Everyone else in the market is focusing on how he parts the crowd, like his aura is forcibly pushing away anyone who comes close to him. Of course, ever the odd one out, you’re focusing on the way his hips move as he saunters. That’s right, swish those hips, skinny boy.

Once he’s too far away to see anymore, you feel a strange urge to begin loudly singing about how you’re decidedly not in love, while some marble statues come to life and join in as your backing vocalists.

-

You think it’s going to be a while before you see him again, but you’re overjoyed to be proved wrong when Silco shows up a few days later. Only this time, it’s an extremely busy day at the stall and you’re battling to serve as many customers as possible, all while trying to avoid losing your mind and smacking the nearest person with a frying pan. There must be a kitchen utensil festival happening soon, you reason. It’s the only plausible explanation for it to be this busy.

It's clear that he’s arrived when the bustling crowd suddenly begins to funnel away, until you’re left with just one smug-looking customer stood across the table from you. You cross your arms and sigh deeply, a grin spreading across your face as you do.

“Do you have to be so intimidating? You’re scaring off all my customers.”

“Unfortunately, yes. It’s my whole business model.”

“Hmm, I bet,” you mumble, “What can I do for you today?”

“I’m looking for a present for Jinx,” he tells you, lifting his chin in the air to look down his nose at you.

“I didn’t realise she liked kitchen utensils.”

“She loves them.”

He doesn’t miss a beat in responding to your facetious comment. You snort.

“Does she really?”

“Yes, she uses them to work on her projects.”

“Ah, I see, that makes sense,” you nod amusedly, his own entertained expression trained carefully on yours.

You chat with him for much longer this time, and you can feel your boss’ eyes burning into you in horror, as the conversation turns from the stall’s new merchandise to how Jinx is doing, to how he is, and finally, to how you are. It’s almost scary how easily you can settle into conversation with the crime lord. What’s scarier is, you know you’re going to have to somehow appease your boss when Silco’s gone, since you’re sure no-one else has ever gotten away with being so openly casual and flirtatious with the Eye of Zaun.

You can picture your denial now. The what of Zaun? Never heard of her.

And to your absolute delight, he’s back again the very next day, this time holding two food containers in his long, lithe hands. Fuck, this obsession with his hands is not healthy.

He peers down at you as you perch on the stool behind the counter, and you wonder if this is what ice-cream feels like when its being ogled at under the glass counter of the ice-cream parlour. This time, your boss has left you in charge of the stall as he picks up a new shipment of stock, a task that shouldn’t take all day, but curiously enough always does. So, you’re left to fend for yourself against the man you’re falling for at a concerningly swift rate.

You can’t help but smile at Silco, whose eyes are indescribably soft as they inspect you.

“Is that lunch?”, you gesture to the containers he’s holding.

“It is.”

“What a co-inky-dink, I was just about to have my lunch break! You wanna join?”

“I’d be delighted,” Silco drawls, immediately making his way around the counter.

It’s bizarre to see him move so quickly, (almost as if he’s eager, you muse), but it’s even more bizarre to see him on this side of the stall. You feel heat begin to creep through your body as he gets closer to you and you’re so distracted, you almost miss him holding out one of the food containers towards you.

You stare at it dumbly and he raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Oh. You bought that for me?”

“No, I stole it for you.”

You finally meet his gaze and his smile mirrors your own. You feel like screaming. He bought you lunch?? Is he trying to seduce you? Because, if so, it’s working.

“Thank you,” you tell him sincerely (maybe a little too sincerely), and you’re pretty sure you’ve thrown him for one too, if the slight widening of his pupils is anything to go by.

It takes Silco a moment to recover from your villainous stunt of being grateful, before he begins to look around for somewhere to sit. Unfortunately for him, the only other place available behind the counter is the tiny little stool that is usually reserved for you. 

Right now, you feel extremely privileged to be sitting on the big stool. Granted, you’re still cautious around the abhorrent little things, but you’re less offended by these ones, because it’s much more difficult to be unwillingly tied to them compared to a regular ch**r.

Silco is looking very fixedly at you now as he realises the situation you’re both in. You stare back innocently.

You’re not moving. It’s a matter of principle. You never get to sit on the big stool and you’re not about to give it up just because he’s the leader of the Undercity or whatever.

Your little staring contest comes to an end when he huffs a deep exhale and slowly sinks down onto the tiny stool, his face painfully neutral. 

You feel like you’re in a fever dream. You begin to think you couldn’t possibly see anything more hilarious than the sight before you, until he carefully lifts and places both feet onto the little bars joining the legs of the stool together.

Then, he hunches forward and begins to eat from the container.

…He literally looks like a fucking rat.

An adorable one, mind you, but a rat nonetheless.

And by all means, it would be blatantly criminal not to take this golden opportunity to poke fun, so you do just that.

“How’s the weather down there?”

“Alright that’s enough, get up.”

“Awww,” you whine, as he stands up abruptly and closes the gap between you, until he’s stood inches away from you. The movement is so decisive, and his expression is so commanding, you feel your body automatically obeying his words.

Before you know what’s really happened, you’re suddenly down on the tiny stool and he’s towering above you on the big stool, looking like the cat who just ate the canary. You glare at him menacingly. You really ought to learn how to be unaffected by that trick of his before it’s too late.

It’s not long until you’re back into your rhythm of pleasant chit chat, mixed in with some good old-fashioned joshing. It’s nice. And is beginning to feel entirely too natural. The box in your mind where you’re keeping all your troublesome thoughts about him is starting to overflow, and you worry that once it does, you’ll never get the lid back on it. So, you just add that particular worry to the pile and resolve to deal with it later. …Or never.

Now that Silco has hijacked the superior seat, he’s mostly hidden from the customers’ view, meaning he can eat his lunch in peace while you have to continue to deal with the occasional market-goer. He watches with great interest as you serve the odd customer who appears at the stall during your lunch break.

Silco appears to be awfully impressed when you convince one man to buy an egg slicer, pestle and mortar, a ladle, a garlic press, and a whole set of new chopping boards, when he only came to get a wooden spoon. And the best bit was, he’d openly admitted to not needing a cheese grater since he was lactose intolerant, but still toddled away with it under his arm, alongside the rest of the items you’d lured him into buying.

You were just starting to feel cherished under Silco’s fascinated approval when another customer makes his presence known by repeatedly clicking his fingers at you.

“Oi, do you actually work here or are you just paid to sit there looking ugly?”

Oh. So, he’s that kind of customer. (A prick)

You stand up and turn on the ‘customer service smile’, but your eyes are filled with pure fire, straight from the pits of hell. Luckily, your cheerful tone hides the hatred you feel radiating inside you.

“How can I help you, sir?”

“I need some aftershave.”

He does.

“I’m sorry, sir, we don’t sell aftershave,” you tell him politely, looking down at the items on the table that anyone with a single brain cell could identify as kitchen utensils and not aftershave.

“Why not?”

“We only sell kitchen utensils.”

“That’s stupid.”

You kind of agree. It was a bit stupid. But you weren’t about to tell him that. In your humble view, the customer was never right. It didn’t matter anyway, because he continued his little rant, as if you actually cared about what he thought.

“What a waste of a market stall. Who’s idea was that? Yours? You look stupid enough to think a stall with nothing but kitchen utensils would make any money,” the man insults you and you’re disappointed by his lack of creativity in trying to offend you. I mean, come on, if he was really trying to upset you, he was doing a miserable job.

You’re about to point him in the opposite direction to the one stall you know sells aftershave, when you feel Silco standing up and taking his place directly next to you. His arm brushes against yours and you feel like every neuron in that arm has been fired at once. Looking up at him in surprise, you see his thunderous expression, as he all but snarls at the man.

“Unless you wish to know what it feels like to have every bone in your body broken at once, I suggest you vacate this market immediately.”

It’s with great delight that you observe the rude customer begin to shake as he recognises it’s the Eye of Zaun who is threatening him, and you almost cheer when he runs away from you, stumbling into other shoppers as he makes his hasty escape.

You think you might be in shock. No-one has ever stood up for you like that before. Much less physically threatened them in such a gorgeous display of dominance. Oh no. You’re a goner now.

You must be in a daze as you stare after the man because Silco places a hand on your shoulder, causing the rapidly weakening self-control, that’s keeping you from JUST KISSING HIS GODAMN MOUTH ALREADY, to become a thousand times weaker.

“Are you alright?” he asks, clearly concerned.

No. You’re not alright. You’re far from alright. But telling him that would only ruin all the delicious banter you’ve been enjoying with him over the past week. So, as you finally meet his gaze, you raise a hand over your brow and dramatically pretend to swoon.

“My hero.”

He rolls his eyes and moves to sit back down, an action you follow.

“Seriously though, thank you for sticking up for me,” you tell him genuinely, “Although, I have had customers much worse than him. One time someone threw a sieve at my head because I told them we didn’t offer gift cards for the stall. I mean, come on, who wants a gift card for kitchen utensils?”

“Hmm,” was his response, clearly thinking deeply about something.

After some time, he breaks the comfortable silence with a remark that squeezes your heart in a way that really shouldn’t, considering how unromantic it actually was.

“You’re not ugly. Or stupid.”

“…What?”

“That imbecile called you ugly. You are not.”

“Cheers, you’re not too bad on the eyes either,” you smirk at him, favouring a cheeky response as opposed to a serious one that might have put you in dangerous waters.

He ignores the back-handed compliment.

“Jinx has been asking about you; she misses you.”

“I miss her too,” you tell him honestly. You’d missed him as well, but considering you’d only seen him the day before, that admission was just a bit too embarrassing to be voiced.

“You’re always welcome to visit us at The Drop. When you’re not working, of course.”

“Mondays are my day off.”

“I’ll look forward to your visit this Monday, then,” Silco informs you, a demand, not request, but a light-hearted one all the same.

You nod with a knowing smile. And you’d be damned if the lanky boy didn’t look almost excited at the prospect of you being back in his home once more. What in Janna’s name had you gotten yourself into?

-

Returning to The Last Drop feels, well… right. Jinx is over the moon when you walk through the front doors and rushes to throw her arms around your waist. She wastes no time in pulling you over to the bar, where she has set up her new projects in a row across the counter top, all ready to be shown to you. Only a few minutes pass before Silco appears at the top of the staircase, clipboard and pen in hand as he makes his way down towards you. Your body is radiating with nervous energy at the mere sight of him, so you resort to your tried and true 5 G’s method, reserved for when you feel yourself going off the rails at something ridiculous. Good gods girl, get a grip.

For the next few weeks, your Monday visits becomes a permanent fixture in your schedule, to your unabashed delight. You alternate between playing games and talking with Jinx whilst Silco works, and chatting to Silco when Jinx is sat on his lap, quietly doodling all over the back of his paperwork. The peaceful domesticity is something you never thought you’d be so enthralled by, but you absolutely adore it. It begins to feel like home.

On one particularly memorable visit, Jinx seems to be overflowing with energy, so the only reasonable option is to hold 8 spoons between the gaps of your fingers, and chase her around the bar in a game you’ve now dubbed as ‘Edward Spoonhands’. Silco tries to keep his face neutral, but the slight upward tick of his lips gives him away. It’s not there for long because Jinx soon squeals in delight and recklessly throws herself onto his lap, trying to hide from you as you charge at her full speed across the floor of the bar. She’s so overexcited, it takes Silco a ridiculous amount of time to finally calm her down. Admittedly, you would feel bad about making his day that much more difficult, but you barely have time to, given how out of breath you are from running about for so long.

Another time, you’re just on your way into the bar, pushing the front door open only to immediately trip and fall face-first onto the ground. You’re not physically hurt, but you’re pretty sure your pride is irreparably damaged from the humiliating stunt. Instead of getting up straight away like a normal person would, you roll onto your back and stare crossly at the ceiling, your hand placed atop the other on your stomach. You hope that by acting like an unmoving chameleon, the ground will swallow you up and transport you to a place where nobody can recognise your brainless mug.

As you’re lying there, a recognisable face comes into view above you, a conceited smirk adorning his scarred lips as he peers down at you. Silco keeps his arms behind his back and you note with some offense that he doesn’t offer to help you up and doesn’t even ask if you’re alright. What a bastard.

“Who put that there?” you ask defiantly.

“The doorstep?”

“Yes, I’d like to make a complaint with the owner,” you grumble.

“I’m afraid he’s rather busy at the moment. But do feel free to leave your comment in the suggestion box,” Silco replies smoothly, his arm lifting to point at something across the room.

He has a suggestion box?? Leaning on your hands as you sit up and follow the line of his outstretched arm and finger, you spot exactly what he’s gesturing to. It’s the bin.

You roll your eyes. This bitch.

“You need some more training in customer service skills,” you tell him emphatically.

“You should consider yourself lucky; I’m usually inclined to kill those who complain about my business.”

You have to agree with him. You do consider yourself to be pretty damn lucky.

-

A few weeks later, you find yourself inexplicably excited for your next Monday visit because you’d spent a ridiculous amount of your Sunday evening painstakingly gathering ingredients, baking, and decorating some cupcakes for Jinx and Silco. Despite how tired you were after adding on the extra hours to your already long work day, you resolved that it was worth it, just to see the looks on their faces when you presented your gift.

Entering The Last Drop around lunchtime, you make sure to avoid tripping on the doorstep, since the last thing you wanted was to unceremoniously send the cupcakes sprawling across the floor. You find Silco and Jinx sat at the bar working on their respective projects and you can’t help but greet them cheerfully from across the room.

“Asuh my dudes!” earns you a blank look from them both, which only serves to pull your grin even wider.

Making your way over to the bar, you decide to stand behind it so you’re facing them both. You want to be able to see their reactions when they try the sugary goodness you’ve lovingly crafted for them. The old man might even smile, if you’d done your job right.

“I made you some cupcakes because you both work far too hard and I decided you deserve a treat.”

You hold out the open tin towards them both, offering them first choice like the polite young lady you are. Jinx leans forward and looks nothing short of ecstatic as she reaches to pick one up, but she’s interrupted by Silco, who barks out his command in a way that if you didn’t know any better, you’d think was laced with panic.

“Wait!”

You all freeze. Slowly, your eyes meet his and you see the unmistakeable look of apprehension painting his face. Oh. You understand now. He’s worried the cupcakes might be poisoned.

He doesn’t trust you.

You can’t help the way your stomach feels like its falling through your body, like a rollercoaster that has just dropped from its highest point. Does he really think you’re capable of poisoning them? Or that you’d even dream of hurting them in the first place? After everything you’ve been through?

Keeping your gaze locked onto his, you slowly reach for one of the cupcakes and bring it to your mouth, taking a bite and swallowing purposefully. Silco visibly relaxes at the gesture. But you don’t. Despite the growing nausea swirling through your belly, you finish off the cupcake and shove the wrapper in your pocket.

You want to hurl the tin at the wall, but instead you shakily fumble to put the lid back on, drawing it close to your chest.

“You don’t have to eat them if you don’t want to, I just thought-” you begin, your voice trembling as you scrabble to fill the heavy silence.

Silco stands, leans over the counter, and gently prises the tin from your hands. Watching him dumbfoundedly, you observe him taking the lid off once more, lifting out one of the cupcakes, and nibbling the tiniest bit out of it.

“Lovely; do try one, Jinx.”

But it doesn’t make you feel better. How could it? He’d basically just implied that there was a chance you might have been trying to kill them.

Jinx wolfs her cupcake down at an alarming rate and wastes no time in climbing onto the bar and throwing herself at you in a hug, until you’re awkwardly carrying her as she’s wrapped around you from your front. She jumps down and pulls you over to one of the booths across the room, loudly babbling about a new idea she has that she wants your opinion on.

You don’t look at Silco again. You can’t. Not when he’d shown such an open display of distrust like that. You’re glad that Jinx has pulled you away from the situation and you’re even more relieved when it turns out you’re able to sit with your back facing him. It takes all your strength, but you put on a careful mask, making sure Jinx doesn’t realise just how upset you are. Truthfully, you’re glad for the distraction she provides, if only to distance yourself from the confusing mixture of shock and heartache and anger you’re feeling.

Some time later, you inform Jinx that you need the bathroom, and find yourself spending much longer than is really necessary to wash your hands. You want to feel okay again, to act like it never happened, but you just can’t. Honestly, it hurt. How could he think of you like that?

When you exit the bathroom, you’re surprised to find Silco hovering in the corridor, evidently waiting for you, since there was nothing else of note in this particular hallway. His gaze snaps up to your crushed expression, which you quickly replace with one of impassivity, taking a page from the kingpin’s book. 

The closed off look isn’t the only guard you put up, your sarcastic tone matching it nicely, as you reach into a place that you feel much more comfortable with.

“Do you make a habit of hanging around outside the ladies’ bathroom?”

He scoffs, and opens his mouth as if he is about to retort with an equally sarcastic response, when he snaps it shut again and takes a deep breath in and out.  

“It was not my intention to offend you,” he says softly.

You stare at him, trying to read his thoughts.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you finally mumble, not yet feeling emotionally ready for such a serious conversation.

Silco begins to speak again when you hear a crash from the bar. The uncomfortable discussion is forgotten as you both dash towards the noise and find Jinx sat on the floor next to a broken chair.

“I was only trying to build a den!” she protests, as Silco marches over to her to check for any injuries.

Luckily, she isn’t hurt, but that doesn’t stop you from giving the stupid fucking chair a kick like it deserves. Bloody things are more trouble than they’re worth. …Okay, maybe you’re projecting.

Once everyone has calmed down from Jinx’s little mishap, you only stick around for another half hour before the tension becomes entirely too suffocating. You make a pathetic attempt at excusing yourself, muttering something about needing to clean all the kitchen utensils for tomorrow’s work day, before gathering your belongings to leave.

You can’t help but stare at the abandoned tin of cupcakes left on the counter. Part of you wants to snatch them up and take back your gift, if only out of spite for the way he’d made you feel horrible after trying to do something nice for him. But that line of thought is deserted the moment you glance at Silco’s face.

If you were one for dramatics (which you most definitely are), you’d almost say he looks heartbroken, as he gazes at you wistfully. It’s enough to have you mumbling out a short goodbye to them both, before exiting the bar with a heavy feeling sweeping through your chest.  

-

That night, as you’re lying in bed staring blankly at the ceiling, you can’t help but run through the events of the day over and over again, until it makes you want to scream. Part of you doesn’t blame him. In the grand scheme of things, he hadn’t known you for long at all, and in the Undercity, it wasn’t wise to place your full trust in anybody, let alone someone you’d only just met.

And the fact that he was the King of Zaun wouldn’t have helped matters either. I mean, he was probably inundated with rivals and wannabe-kingpins trying to hurt him and Jinx. And not to mention the rumours you’d heard of his troubled past. It made sense that he’d struggle to trust people with all those factors working against him.

But it didn’t stop it from hurting. You thought it had been different between the two of you. That there was something special going on. Perhaps you’d been wrong.

Using your work as a distraction, you focused on keeping yourself busy. And when you were lying to yourself as readily as you’d lied to your boss about when you’d been kidnapped, you could almost believe that you didn’t feel as disappointed as you truly did.

But, the watery illusion you’d found yourself drowning in is pulled down the plug, leaving you mentally gasping for air, when Silco arrives at your stall a few days later. In all honesty, you weren’t expecting to see him so soon after your little misunderstanding, so you feel positively bewildered and entirely unprepared for the encounter.

You’re sat on the tiny little stool, even though the big stool is empty, as your boss has deserted you to fetch some lunch from another stall. Rather awkwardly, there’s a good few moments where Silco just stares down at you and you stare back up at him, trying to figure out just what he’s thinking.

He looks, dare you say… nervous? It’s fairly similar to the way he’d looked when you had left him in his office all that time ago, but there’s something different about it. More hesitant. You bite the bullet and speak first (yet again).

“Hello.” 

It’s a quiet sound, one that has him pursing his lips and nodding at you, which you assume is his greeting, as he places down a thin box on the counter in front of you. A quick, confused glance is all you afford him, before you slowly lift off the top to reveal an intricately designed knife. It’s beautiful.

“What’s this?” you ask breathlessly.

You half expect him to say ‘a knife’, like the sarcastic twat he is, but his sincere response tugs at your heart strings.

“An apology.”

The knife itself is sharp, clearly forged by hand, and immaculately polished, if the sharp glint in the neon lights of the market is anything to go by. The hilt is sleek black, detailed with thin, burgundy stripes. His colours.

You feel tears begin to pool in the corners of your eyes at the weight of this expensive gift and the sincerity of his words. You thought that him defending you from rude customers was too good to be true, but this was on a whole new level. It made you want to wrap your arms around him and show him just how much you appreciate the grand gesture, to kiss him until he can’t mistake your forgiveness.

But you knew it’d be too much, especially in front of the whole market. So you tease him instead, if only to stop the tears from spilling down your cheeks.

“Thank you, I needed a new bread knife.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs deeply as you manage to meet his gaze once again.

“Your lack of familiarity with knives is concerning, given how many you sell on a daily basis.”

You’re about to tell him that the average shopper doesn’t visit your stall looking for weapons, unlike him in his endearingly crime lord-y manner, when he reaches across the table and gently takes one of your hands into his own.

You think you might have stopped breathing. Is he trying to kill you?

A tender squeeze of your hand brings your focus back to his eyes, creating a moment that is eerily reminiscent of the way he’d squeezed your arms, just before you’d collapsed onto him in the warehouse. You almost feel just as dizzy this time, even without the head trauma.

“I’d like to make it up to you. Let me take you out,” Silco tells you, his soft tone matching the unbearably soft look on his face.

There’s nothing to make up for. Nothing to forgive. You want to tell him he’s already proved just how sorry he is. But that doesn’t stop you from blurting out your ridiculous question instead.

“What, like a date? Or take me out as in murder?” you ask, not knowing which one you’d prefer. Probably the date. …Probably.  

Silco rolls his eyes again and you worry that if he keeps doing it so dramatically like that, they might just fall out one day. That’d be a shame. What would they call him then? The Long-Nose of Zaun?

“No.”

“Okay then, I’ll just wear my dusty, old work apron if it’s not a date or an execution,” you respond demurely, shrugging one shoulder.

“You’d look lovely in anything, my dear,” he murmurs, as he strokes his thumb across your hand.

Fuck. WHAT IS HE DOING THAT FOR, NOW??

He must be able to feel the way your pulse begins to raise because his demeanour melts from one of worry to its usual cheeky manner, that appeared to be reserved solely for you.

“So?” he prompts, an eyebrow raising at your obvious sensitivity to his touch.

It takes a few moments of really staring at him before you can give your answer. You had to make sure there was nothing hidden in those captivating eyes of his. Nothing that might suggest he had any ulterior motives that might convince you this was a bad idea. But to your relief, all you saw was longing. Longing to spend more time with you.

“…alright, go on then. I’ll go on a date with you.”

His smile makes you feel like you’re going to burst with joy.

When you’d first realised that it was Silco tied to the chair behind yours, you thought your life was over. Never in a million years would you have expected it to lead to you feeling like your life was just beginning. 

But here you were. Holding hands with the King of Zaun as he leant across the market stall, his sleeve getting caught slightly on a whisk that you were in the process of cleaning before he’d shown up. And if that wasn’t the most romantic thing you could think of, you didn’t know what was.

PART 4

-

A/N: this is now a fast burn bc apparently I believe in love at first sight??? who’d have thunk?? Not me, that’s for sure

Also, I hope this is better than part 2 which I worried wasn’t as good. I hope I didn’t disappoint anybody :( I’m still getting used to writing prose, I’m normally a screenwriter (not professionally tho… I wish)

Tag list: @htmlbitxh

#silco #silco x reader #silco x f!reader #silco fic #silco arcane #silco x you #part 3

[chasani]

Go on then, what are your koopaling/koopakid headcanons?

Aha

Ahaha

AHAHAHHAHAHAAGAHHAHAHAHAHA-

GASP

KOOPALINGS

Morton ->

stupid little dork

Asks what song it is when they're singing 'Happy Birthday to You' at a party

Memory loss, they gave him a note pad so he could write things down but he forgot where he put it

Enjoys wearing bows and is very open about it

Takes Wendy's bows

Big Hammer Tiny Brain

Smashes things he doesn't like/understand/want/know

Doesn't know how doors work

Somehow immune to poison if he doesn't know it's poison??

Iggy ->

Completely blind without his glasses

It's legally allowed to drive but drives anyway

Owns a bunch of blond wigs

Weird obsession with sticks and bones

Hangs out in Ludwig's room to listen to him play piano (whether he was invited or not)

Has at least 20 differently themed body pillows

Hatsune Miku binder

Ludwig ->

Does not sleep

Composer at day evil maniac scientist by night

Has a better eating habit than Kooky

I will fight you if you argue with me (you don't have to like it but just don't yell at me for it) but otherwise he's trans ftm and DEFINITELY bi

Steals mirrors from Wendy so he can admire himself

Makes Ramen in the toaster at 3 am while getting a sweet glass of Orange Milk (pineapple juice + milk + coffee + shots)

Dips bread in Egg Whites + Oreo crumbs and fries it (old habit never grew out of)

Wendy ->

Her room is FULL of coins and other gold things

Has two closets, one for clothes and the other for jewelry

Will scream if you take her bows

Somehow always has a mirror on hand

Drags the boys into her room so she can practice her makeup on them

Lemmy is willing to be makeup tester

Believes in bad luck but still dresses up for Friday the 13

PINK PINK PINK

you wouldn't guess it but her favorite songs are rock and country

Larry ->

Has 51 diseases and is banned from most public spaces

Would be a carnivore if the didn't force him to eat vegetables

Throws the baby penguin from the Mario game over the side of the ice cliff

Big fan of trains

His room is full of toy trains

Somehow knows how to drive a train

Owns + Pilots a helicopter, where did he get it from?

Lemmy ->

CLOWN BABY

wanted in 50 states (and counting)

states like solid, liquid, and gas

collect weird miscellaneous objects in hopes he could use it for a performance

Probably pan

Constantly makes jokes about liking pans because he's pan

Once he was caught kissing a pan

Once found biting a pan by the handle and running around on all fours at 3 am

Roy ->

Big man

Acts all tough but also loves bows

Finger paints

Eats raw eggs

KOOPAKIDS

Big Mouth ->

dumb baby

Tries to be tough but just ends up being cute

Memory loss

Eats raw eggs as a snack

Doesn't know you have to cook certain foods

Bully ->

never takes off his shades

Wears pink, blue, and white bows (in no particular order ;])

Own at LEAST 20 different pairs of glasses and counting

Eats like 30 pounds of food a day

Cheatsy ->

trains

trans

trains

Kooky Von Koopa ->

Complete Smart-Ack Maniac

Does not sleep (except for when he completely PASSES OUT from exhaustion in which it's usually day)

Only eats junk food like candy and fried stuff

does not shower or brush his hair you have to throw him into a lake with piranhas to get him clean

Stupidly smart, mad scientist that lives in a basement making monsters

Does a little composing here and there

Knows all of Beethoven's Symphonys + Rush E from heart

Knows at least 25 different languages and counting, already multi bilingual at 1 month old (smart baby)

Probably trans and Agender or smth idk I'm not a mad scientist

Kootie Pie ->

GIRLY GIRL

GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS

won't admit it but she's a fan of clowns

Literally hates all boys (wouldn't blame her, growing up in an all boy house)

Would be friends with the princess if they didn't try to kidnap her all the time

Ringsssss

Hip ->

Clown baby

can cry at a frequency only dogs can hear

will throw his ball at you if you even dare disagree with him

Bites

Probably has autism idk I'm not a koopa

Hop ->

blind without the glasses

Will eat raw meat if you give it to him un cooked

Do not give him raw meat

He will scream if you give him food before dessert

Never give him food before dessert

#chasani #sani rambles #koopalings #koopakids #headcanons #morton koopa jr #iggy koopa #ludwig von koopa #wendy koopa #larry koopa #lemmy koopa #roy koopa #big mouth koopa #bully koopa #cheatsy koopa #kootie pie koopa #hip koopa #hop koopa #kooky von koopa

[imminent-danger-came]

I hope everyone who sees my posts know I am wearing a clown wig 100% of the time

#I am the embodiment of the pepe silvia guy #imp tag #the exception is my beloved eamk. eamk you are so real. in my heart

[albon-o-positive]

rating the drivers based on their current haircuts

lewis: 100/10. undeniably the best hair on the grid. when he had his hair up in the two little buns(?) near the start of season I damn near became teamlh

george: 6/10. I personally don't think it serves cunt but it gets the job done. preferred his williams haircut but this one does make him look older so

charles: 9/10. to be fair I think any haircut this man could possibly get it'd still look amazing. life is so unfair

carlos: 9/10 also. ferrari should rebrand to the good hair team. mattia is not included because he wears a clown wig constantly

max: meh. 4/10. don't love it. to be fair I feel like I only see his hair when it's really gross and sweaty when he takes his helmet off

checo: 5/10. just a man's hair

daniel: 8/10 for the glow up. because godamn his hair in toro rosso was not serving cunt. it was doing the opposite. removing cunt so to speak

lando: 6/10 I am a lando curl enjoyer who also likes consistency. I have not been receiving either of that from him. to be fair like, he had that r e a l l y bad haircut a while ago which like anything in comparison is better, but max f's brother has not been doing his hair well I'm jusy gonna say it

mick: 6.5/10. he got a haircut recently and I really didn't like it. I can't exactly remember what it looked like before but I want him to go Back. I like it when he is boyfriend shaped

kevin: 6/10. viking hair. I respect it

alex: 8/10 for the red hair. personally I think he should bleach it and then re-dye it red so that him and I can match and also because then it'll show way more. but I think that's just me being selfish

nicky: 4/10. not a fan. can't really remember what it looks like (I'm writing all of these without looking a refrence) but I know I'm not a fan

seb: please don't hate me. please don't hate me. please don't hate me. 2/10. I don't like the long hair I'm so sorry please don't hate me

lance: -100/10. I'm sorry lance but what the fuck. his hair looked way better last season what did he do to it????? just like ferrari I think Aston need to rebrand...

val: 5/10. just a guy's haircut. neither here nor there but it's solid I suppose

guanyu: 9/10. very very very solid hair cut. looks good. accentuates his features. I like your cut g

pierre: 6/10. it's... okay. I really liked the blonde streaks he had during toro rosso. bring them back pls. or is there not enough money in the rbr budget for bleach

yuki: 5/10 okay I love yuki soso much yeah but I just Do Not vibe with the hair cut. I will let him off gently though because he looks like he takes good care of it

fernando: 4/10 it's okay??? I've never really thought about his haircut prior to this. can't say im a fan though

este: esteban I am so sorry but it's a 3/10 from me. there's just. so. so much better haircuts you could have

this is all in good fun and also just my opinion so pls don't take this as me attacking any of the drivers :)

EDIT: I manifested blonde Alex for you all ur welcome xx

#mait speaks #lando norris #yuki tsunoda #alex albon #mick schumacher #daniel ricciardo #george russell #carlos sainz jr #charles leclerc #esteban ocon #feel like i'd get on with alex the best based only on vibes #fernando alonso #sebastian vettel #lance stroll #pierre gasly #lewis hamilton

[keystone8379]

hiiiii keystone if you were invited to a Halloween party but you COULD NOT dress up as like. a character or corporeal thing or established costume thing/archetype (ghost witch clown pumpkin etc.) and you HAD to dress up as an abstract concept, what concept would you pick and how would you go about dressing up as it. this is a test i will grade you

Probably something that lets me get drip like a broken faucet. Idk what though, dressing as characters is more fun to me.

You know, actually, regarding cosplay, fan expo, Toronto’s big nerd convention was a little over a week ago at this point and I had a few good costume ideas. My initial ideas were to use my grad robes in a Xemnas fit, but then A) I would have to wear a wig, and B) people would just think I’m Mr. Star Wars.

What I ended up going with was a Dr. Maruki costume but I didn’t have an apple juice box on hand so I just picked up a bottle of apple juice from a nearby subway. What can you do. I also don’t know how to tie a tie but really who cares? There I am!

I feel a lot better posting pictures of myself here than on Instagram. Don’t need to worry about weird Persona fans here. Anyway, the best idea for a costume I had, and the reason I’m making this post, is because JP would be such a SICK character to cosplay. LOOK AT THIS MF!

Unfortunately, as you might have guessed, no where was selling orange pants or an orange vest. Maybe one day I will drip swag like a broken faucet. Not today though. What were we talking about again?

#cosplay #fan expo #xemnas #kingdom hearts #dr maruki #persona 5 #street fighter #sf6 #jp

[poupeesdecirque]

Cosplay Plans for 2024!

As I have planned to attend a bunch of Conventions in 2024 I am very motivated to do more cosplay variants, here are the plans for new cosplays I want to wear.

Aside that I will of course wear some of the other ones again like the 1st Uniform or the remade Runaway-Outfit. The 3rd Uniform needs a bit of repairing but that will be not much to do if the idea I have works out like imagined.

For now I am planning to do the new Blue Outfit, Allen's Clown outfit and the Clown Crown Coat to go with other parts of the cosplays. Maybe more I am not sure. Also I want to shove in Mana but I have everything at hand for him (teen variant) as he's basically Nea with a different wig.

First goal is to work on the new Outfit with the blue coat, basically what I just made for doll Allen in human size as I want to wear it at the Bookfair. Rough plans for the Bookfair are Past!Allen, Runaway Outfit, 1st Uniform and Blue Outfit, this could change as there is still some time until then but that's my rough plan.

I ordered material and fabrics for all of them and will add materials as I notice I need them. And started on the pattern for the new base outfit (pants, shirt, waistcoat) and the blue coat.

The illustration is mainly for me to memorize details, it was just a rather quick sketch i decided to color.

#dgm #cosplay plans #allen #wip #sewing