#i ask myself this every year

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling? #Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

[awakefor48hours]

#I’m sorry it’s bothering me #every time I see the house in the background #I just ask myself if and when it’ll be fixed #because it’s been like that over a year #invincible season 2 #invincible show #invincible

[mueritos]

quick lil post about coming back to art full-time while also being a full time MSW student….it can be possible 0.0

anyway ty to everyone who has supported me over the years i wouldnt be able to go back to art without you all

#muertodraws #also becoming a lil more comfy calling myself autistic even tho every autistic person i have ever me is like yea ur us lol #back in therapy and i finished my first sem of grad school off strong #next sem will be crazy but o well #hoping to volunteer at a cat shelter next yr too #i need a cat in my life or else i will explode #i would get one now as an esa but i just dont have the money #so heres to hoping #anyway i know my asks are off and thats cuz i just needed to focus on school #maybe theyll come back on next year but for now if u need to reach me feel free to pm or email me #dm me on instagram too if u gotta reach me #trying to balance being on here and also wanting to be invisible and blend in with the masses and work my 9-5 and act like i dont have like #intimate knowledge about online discourse lmfao #anyway #see u all soon

[ohworm-writes]

Task Force 141 but instead of being in the military or the SAS they all work at a firehouse together and it's called Station 141. Send tweet.

#Guys I'm so fucking normal please believe me #I'm just really obsessed with the career of firefighters #I did this with Schlatt let me apply this to every hyperfixation I have please I'm begging you #IT WORKS SO WELL FOR THEM THOUGH! #FUCK! #I'm not crazy please believe me #I could talk about this for hours or days or weeks or months or years at a time please just give me a chance #You should totally send me asks about this tee hee #I'm basically plunging myself into this fandom by making this post so hiiiiiiiii *twirling hair and kicking my feet* #I write fanfiction too (x reader strictly) so you guys should totally send me requests #task force 141 #tf 141 #tf141 #captain john price #john price #johnathan price #ghost #simon riley #simon ghost riley #soap #john mactavish #johnny mactavish #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #gaz #kyle gaz garrick #price #captain price #john price x reader #captain price x reader

[intotheelliwoods]

Gonna ask this to a few people that inspire me, but how do you take inspiration from things without feeling like whatever you make is just bad in comparison? Or like a downgraded version of the thing(s) that inspired you?

(If this is too negative feel free to delete/ignore, I'm sorry)

Oh gosh this is such an interesting question since, I dont think I really have feelings of thinking my version is bad? Or that I am just a copy?

I am honestly just grateful my work became as popular as it is in the first place haha- low expectations going in to begin with. That and, I am very aware my art style isnt as defined and polished as other peoples styles, but I have come to terms with this! And hey the improvement in my own artwork over the past year is a massive trip if you go back through some of my older stuff- I am improving, slowly.

I mean, 2AL started by complete accident, and was "inspired" from me wishing the Leos from OMO or MNMC would hug it out already- but if you were to compare 2AL to one of those, they are very different. Hell even comparing OMO and MNMC, same starting point, but still very different.

I think my only advice to other people trying to make an AU is to try and find some core theme/idea and work around that, rather than gather a bunch of little things from other sources you like into a big pile. Find some key message to start up a base with.

#asks #no seriously 2al was by COMPLETE accident #and then it exploded so I kept it going #oh well #also like!!!! #seriously #the people you are probably comparing yourself too #chances are just have wayyy more experience and practice than you #like!!!! dude sometimes it hits me how many of my friends and other “big blogs” are either #1. professional artists who do this shit for a living anyways #or 2. have been drawing digitally for way way longer than me #digital art is still new territory for me so I am giving myself some slack here #that and I have no interest in art for a career #this is just my side hobby! #yknow!!!! #for FUN!!!!!!!!!!!! #and wheres the fun in going #“damn this person who has years more experience than me and draws for a living is... somehow better at drawing than me this is so unfair” #answer: theres no fun in that #but also fr- #I have only been doing digital art consistently (in this style specifically) for. #a year- #deadass. #I have not done much art before all this outside notebook paper doodles #and the occasional once every month or two painting #all this is so new to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #im learning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I deserve to give myself so so much slack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I have also improved so much in the past year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #oops tag ramble

[antiparticular]

why are we not talking about this more

#dragon age 2 #dragon age hawke #fenris #fenhawke #garrett hawke #this has haunted me since i first played it 3 years ago #every so often i just say to myself 'ahhh hawke stepped in the poopy' #why did he say that #he is just being a bit silly a bit goofy #hawke stepped in the poopy #yes it is 1am why do you ask

[skitskatdacat63]

Mark Alan, Count of Queanbeyan

+ explanation & lore

Okay first I'll explain the drawing itself, and then go into Mark's lore a bit, so stay with me!!!

First of all, yep. Mark with long hair. When I first conceptualized how he'd look in this au, I just genuinely could not imagine him with the typical long curly wig. And that irked me, bcs its just sooooooo historically inaccurate for him to have had short hair, no wig. I sketched him and Jense out as chibis, I drew Mark with short hair, and literally wrote "haha wow he looks so bad with long hair!!" Hello, can I take back that statement? It's actually shocking how good he looks???? Maybe it's a testament to my skill that I could make this work. But I did! And man, shameful to admit, but this might be my best portrait ever 😭😭 Funny tho, guy I've barely drawn, and never as detailed as this, ends up being one of my favs. Mark, you bastard!!

^ lmao as you can see, I tried out a more Seb type wig and then realized ahhhhh nah, he needs a different style. And it worked so, yay!!! I've thought a lot recently, "man it would suck back then if you looked shitty in a wig" and I rescind that. I'm telling you, you think a man would look bad in a wig? I say think again, you're just not conceptualizing the right type of wig for him.

Also wow, its crazy thst I can finally actually visually see what he would look like next to others like Seb and Fernando in this au. Hehehe look at them!!! The boys!!!! Just need Jense :,)

Anyways, I digress, some lore notes about Mark since I don't think I've really talked about him in this au on main much.

He is, of course, Seb's closest servant. His Groom of the Bedchamber(yes that term makes me feel rabid.) He's actually also based on a real guy, whom was described as the Emperor's "favorite" and despite not technically having very important positions, he had a lot of influence because of his closeness and connection with the Emperor. So, yeah, I think that's gives a pretty good pic of Mark in this au :)

He's actually pretty satisfied with his role, but he does feel a bitter and jealous when interacting with others like Jenson and Fernando. Because Mark doesn't have a title, well not in the same way. He's a count, not a King, not a Prince. Yes he's nobility, but not in the same way. And he's satisfied being under Seb, because that's what Mark was raised to do, take care of and keep Seb in line. But often realizes he's never going to be on par with him, not in the same way Fernando can, even if he's Seb's closest confidant.

To build on that. He's very satisfied with his role, and even continues to be satisfied when Fernando comes into the picture. Fernando and Seb don't get along, Mark is always going to be the closest to Seb, always going to know him the best, take care of him the best. But he realizes, he would never get to marry Seb, he's not ranked high enough for that. He was raised to do what's best for the Emperor, he's never going to be able to compete with Seb the same way Fernando can. He really wants Seb and Fernando to succeed! To grow closer! But it still really hurts sometimes.

His closest friend, other than Seb, is Jenson of course(and eventually Fernando, after they stop growling at each other like they're Seb's dogs.) But he does get bitter about Jenson sometimes. Jenson is a prince, who had some great performances in battle. But eventually got tired of that lifestyle, and "retired" to being part of Seb's court. Mark can't really understand that. How do you throw that level of prestige and freedom away. How do you just become the Emperor's servant, when that was never what you were born for. But also, I think Jense definitely uplifts him, they just get along so well, and Jense truly cares for him, no other motives :)

LOL sorry I realize how depressing this sounds 😭 I think all of the above is just Mark at his most bitter, but he's genuinely pretty happy. Think of the whole "not bad for a number 2 driver thing", that's him in this AU. He knows his station, and god damn it, he's gonna be the best, most loyal groom there ever was!! He just cares for Seb so deeply, and it truly is his life path to serve him. Seb cares for him too, feels like he can always rely on him and always be reassured by him and his eternal presence in Seb's life. It's nice to have someone you can always fall back on. Sometimes literally. Yes he makes Mark carry him to bed.

Not to stray away from just Mark, but aaaaahhh the Martian in this AU. Just Mark having to put up with Seb's brattiness all the time, and care for him all the time :) He's so tired of catching Seb naked tho...Seb please put clothes on, this is not befitting of your station. Seb takes Mark with him everywhere, and they share the same bed on trips. Mark is always the first Seb goes to to ask his opinion. I said earlier that Mark feels like he cannot challenge Seb in the same way Fernando can, but Seb really wants him to honestly! He loves hearing Mark's thoughts and opinions. Mark is widely known as Seb's favorite, and is often seen as the second authority in the palace and in the court.

As for Webbonso? I think they really dislike each other in the beginning just because the roles that they're in. They both feel like they're pitted against each other, and ir doesn't help that Seb loves to tease them and often favor one in front of the other(he later realizes how shitty this is, and tries to rectify it, because he never intended to make them actually jealous, he just loves being bratty.) Eventually they realize they're in extremely similar situations(both beholden to and stuck eternally with the Emperor), and find comfort in each other in that.

Yep that's right...the palace is honestly one big polycule djkfkglg. But I hope thay explains Mark in this AU well enougg???? All you need to know: Seb's long-suffering servant.

#heres mark in a wig. if thats your thing! a thing that. no one asked for :) #BUT WAAAAAHHHHH MAN IM SO PROUD OF THIS HONESTLY #how the fuck does he look so handsome??????? #i never in a million years thought this wouldve worked. but yep! it does! #but i will say. bro looks like he should be on a dollar bill dhfkkglv #okay anyways yes i understand that this is extremely niche and very confusing to anyone outside my circle #but i hope you like it even if not????? im super proud of this one 🤭🤭 #my first time rly drawing him honestly. every other time has been chibis or an obstructed view #BUT THIS. THREW MYSELF INTO THE DEEP END. and i didn't drown! #gotta draw jense next. and his silly bicorn hat. cause hes that kinda guy #i was gonna put mark and jense together. but man i hate keeping art to myself that i finished already #im proud of it! must click post! no hoarding!! or ill never post it lol #aaaahh man im getting drawing men im surprised #im so happy w his expression. w his squiggly eyebrows. he looks very introspective #f1 #formula 1 #mark webber #boy king au #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art. #*sometimes I realize. man if i just took away the historical clothing and wigs and stuff #my art would have such a wider appeal 😭😭 #but then i realize. nah i dont give a shit. i draw what i want!!! and you guys will take 1700s Mark and you will LIKE IT

[pocketramblr]

The thing about my students is I love them, but every time I think "oh I should work on my graduation speech", within five minutes I'm so mad at them I have to put it down because I have to be nice in it

#every day i find out something new and horrible they did. even on days we don't have school. how do they keep doing this #i know getting into finals season fries everyone's brain but #not like this! #'what did they do' nothing i can explain without doxxing myself or breaking the code of ethics maybe ask me in six weeks when the school #year ends and technically they're not mine anymore

[eclairfair98]

“Oh, but you see, Kazansky,” the boy looks down at him and smiles. Engulfed by the honey-gold haze of a sharp summer sun, the sweetest, most reckless thing he’s ever seen. “I am dangerous!”

And there’s something about that smile, guilelessly fluttering across his flushed face like a hummingbird taking flight, that digs into Tom’s chest like the gentlest of knives. Cleaves its way between his ribs.

Fills his heart with light.

It’s strange, how quickly it all happens. How startlingly unremarkable it really is. How Tom takes a deep breath, lets the faint wisps of warm vanilla sugar trickle down his too-dry throat, closes his eyes, and just knows: he might’ve entered this quaint house in the middle of nowhere with a firm plan in mind to destroy any chances his father had of securing a betrothal (even if that meant stooping low-enough to make a thirteen-year-old cry) but hurting Pete Mitchell in any shape or form, wouldn’t sit right with his conscience.

Knows that there’s no reason why Mrs Mitchell should be so intent on finding her son a match at such short notice, especially when he’s so young. (Especially when she doesn’t seem like one of those parents that unfortunately, aren’t all that uncommon in the Navy: who think their omega children have little value beyond the connections they can help forge via bonding and marriage.)

Recognizes dire straits when they’re staring him in the face: the thinly-veiled distress in Mrs Mitchell’s dull green eyes; the worn dress shirt that’s almost two sizes too big for Pete — that he was probably supposed to grow into several months ago, but never did; the stale scent of grief and pain that clings to even the most carefully-polished surface of their home.

Finds himself thinking that maybe, it isn’t all that strange. Maybe, he could spend the rest of his life with this boy. Finding out what makes him smile. What makes him laugh. What is his favorite dream to dream.

In the end, it all comes down to this: Sometimes, you meet a person and it feels like you’ve known them your entire life. A quiet sense of belonging settles in your bones, and you realize you’d do anything to keep them happy and secure.

#the unbearable lightness of being #icemav #topgun #omegaverse #as I promised myself (and others) #I will be making a final fully-edited version of this fic #and posting it on ao3 once I’m done #don’t know how long it’ll take me but I’m hoping to get it done by Spring/Summer of next year #this is the first fic I’ve ever written and the more I think about it the clearer it seems to me that it’s probably going to be my last #which is why I want to do my best to leave the best possible version of it on the internet for posterity #to everyone who’s left me asks and DMs and Ao3 comments in the past few months #please know that I’ve read every single kind word you’ve sent my way #and they all mean a lot to me #thank you ❤️ thank you ❤️ thank you #I’m going to try my best to get back to all of you as soon as I can 🤞🏼 #hope you’ve all been doing very well #and oh #Happy Holidays! 🌻

[yesokayiknow]

I just got done rewatching ashildr’s episode and she asks why he hasn’t made Clara immortal and it makes me wonder what would Clara do with true immortality and no doctor … like that girl would burn the planet just for some fun. Thoughts on what she’d get up to?

tbf that's just her canon ending! she's just immortal now with no doctor! and before you're like well actually she still has to die one day it's like. does she tho. like i truly believe she'd get ten years in and be like wait this rules actually i'm not giving this up and then sends a flesh copy or clone or smth to gallifrey to die in her place. boom free immortality absolutely zero drawbacks she will never regret it and definitely won't spiral into a deep period of depression once she realises that she will never ever be able to stop that everything will just keep going on and so will she. forever. that day will never come!

and yes of course she burns planets. she's like i am doing this to save the universe. and sometimes it's not a lie! hahaha classic clara. the flux happens and she's like well really any planets i may or may not have destroyed for definitely good reasons don't really count now do they and everyone's like yes they still fucking do and she's like 👍 <- is already committing another genocide

#a thousand years later she's like why did i do that. why did i do that to myself. this will never stop not ever i can never stop. why #and the immortal me's like told you so #clara: there is no way in hell you can remember telling me anything. #the immortal me: yeah but i start every new diary by writing 'i told clara becoming truly immortal is a bad fucking idea' on the first page #asks #actuallypjo #doctor who #clara oswald #man i gotta finish the clara & martha thing bc martha's accidentally making her a better person by saying damn bitch you live like this? #and it's great

[northern-passage]

one thing i find really difficult about navigating the IF space is the direct line of contact between readers and authors. we share the same space, and i think that plays a big part in this weird blurred line we have in this community and overall lack of boundaries.

for a lot of people this is a fun hobby and while i personally try to keep it... semi-professional most of the time, it's easy to get wrapped up in having fun on tumblr (or the forums, or reddit, wherever it is that you mainly post/interact) and have a lot of personal interactions with both readers and authors alike - which is fun! i like it more often than not, but i also think that's why a lot of comments in this space can end up being really entitled, over-familiar, and inappropriate.

it's no secret that most authors get really weird messages on here, and while this is also a problem on social media at large and not just specific to IF tumblr, it is still definitely a big problem in this community.

and to be clear i'm not saying that you can't be friendly with authors or readers (i've become friends with a handful of readers myself) and i definitely don't mean to imply that there needs to be a huge divide between us; that's silly - again, most authors are readers, most readers are authors, we’re just people on the internet sharing the same space. but all of us deserve to have our boundaries respected. this is my story, and we are strangers. as a general rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it out loud to someone you just met, you probably shouldn't be saying it to a stranger online. especially anonymously.

#i also think this is why some criticisms get so messy in this space as well #authors should not always be in the same space as the readers/reviewers #and readers shouldnt be able to directly @ authors with their extremely negative reviews esp when it's subjective #(‘’i hate this’’ as opposed to pointing out genuinely harmful content or other criticism) #for everyone's sake #& on a kinda related note: speaking as someone who has been receiving targeted harassment for *checks watch* over two years now #some people really need to reevaluate the way they interact with certain media #i think IF feels very personal due to the interactivity and the customization of the mc #but not everything is written for you. and it's fine to just not like something #without sending weird harassing anonymous messages for 2 years straight to a stranger on the internet. lol #honestly criticism is another can of worms and that's not really what i'm talking about here #but i do think that's also part of the entitlement and overfamiliarity as well #so imo it's connected a little bit. something to think about #at the end of the day my advice to other authors about this is to know your limits and know when you need to extract yourself #and know that you don't have to respond to every ask #especially if it makes you uncomfortable #and im definitely not trying to sound like the authority here this is something i've struggled with as well #like i said it is hard to navigate #and authors can be guilty of this too. wanting to defend yourself or insert yourself into conversations where you shouldn't #i've done that myself #and i've also had other authors i dont know be way overly familiar with me in the past #all of this is just an unfortunate part of online community i think. but im trying to be more mindful about it #anyways. this post brought to you by the weird messages in my and my friends' inboxes lately #i just think you should not be telling authors about pesonal bodily functions in anonymous asks #as an example. lol #personal

[loulooser]

Can I start liking people that don’t turn out to be horrible people or just outright the wrong people

#ONE successful relationship #that’s all I fucking ask of you #you can send me my ex and then not let me have anyone else #I love that they’re happier than I am #it’s so fun #they totally deserve it #bitch my NAN doesn’t even like her #but my gay ass can’t get over her?? #lets add it to the pile of bullshit life has thrown at me since the ripe old age of eleven #fucking traumatizing events every single year #they get worse every year too #can’t wait to see what happens next!! #stay tuned to find out what I try not to kill myself over next!!!

[mikacynth]

happy new year, everyone <3 may you always be happy, may you always be surrounded by people who care for you, and may the year be everything you've ever hoped for. i love you <33

#hi. it's been a while lmao jhsjs #i've lurked here and there every once in a while #jshjhsjh ty for the notifs and the asks they've been a little spark of cheer every once in a while #uni's had me burnt out and exhausted and honestly had me running myself to the ground :(( #no sem break after finals should be illegal smh smh #good news is i managed to get the highest cumulative gpa this semester for my course in my class/year!! so yay #oh and i get to go home soon so there's that <3 #how have you guys been?

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING #IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN #HA #MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF #and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders #that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self #ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief #a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?' #tone “No!” of disbelief #and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it. #that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me #and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.” #was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf #anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally #now i see what the past several months but especially especially #the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January #were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong #...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not #a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side #and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like #i rationally say I trust them to have and do. #and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha #they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y #anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet #trauma evolution #shh katie #personal #my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic. #add to journal #abuse

[teejaystumbles]

AU in which Hob Gadling did not receive much more than a raised eyebrow of both Endless that evening at the White Horse. He falls in the next battle and Death steps up to him and says: "Hello Hob." "Hey, I remember you! You and that... fancy gentleman, I saw you at the inn a few months ago!" "You remember my brother?" And Hob's eyes shine and he grins with a bit of cheek. "Oh, yes!" Death is delighted. "Say, Robert Gadling, can I interest you in a wager?"

"Sure, what kind?"

"If you can get my brother to call you a friend in...mmh, let's see...five hundred years time - I will let you live for as long as you wish."

"Five hundred years? That's almost forever already! But sure. Why not? You have a deal." He grins again. "How hard can that be? I'm a likable guy."

Death smiles and claps him on the shoulder. "That you are, Hob. If anyone can do it, you can."

#and then he meets up with Dream and tries to arrange to meet him more often #but Dream will only go along with every fifty years (and only because his sister firced him) #and after five hundred years Hob tries and asks The Question #and Dream storms away #and Hob remains sitting and doesn't run after him and puts his face in his hands #and Death says #I'm sorry Hob #did I make myself sad with this YES I DID why is my brain that way #own writing #dreamling

[daswarschonkaputt]

Greetings lovely author

I'm sorry to bother you but I was wondering if there is an estimated time for a kinnportay update?

not currently, no :(

i'm gonna be straight with you guys -- i haven't been open about it on here but my life this past year has been kind of fraught. a lot of my followers will remember that i was taking a break from fanfic in order to try my hand at original works, but even that got put on the shelf in response to some of the things that have been going down this year.

tbh i don't especially want to go into huge amounts of detail, but basically one of my family members got sick, and needed full-time care. they're doing better now, but still not where they were before. there's more to it than that, but that's the biggest thing.

it's actually become kind of a meme in my friend group that we're all waiting for 2023 to die inelegantly. i'm not even the one having the worst time lmao.

i will say i am rewatching kinnporsche currently with someone, though. (in return, i am watching jojo's bizarre adventure. i am not sure who got the better deal.) so, if everything goes well... then well. let's not jinx it.

#status: still alive #asked and answered #i unintentionally ruined rune factory for myself during this year as well #it was the only game i had with me for my switch when i was caring for my family member #so i played it in the awkward moments when my family member was sleeping/reading/watching tv #and now it is permanently ruined for me #i can't play it anymore without remembering how stressed and unhappy i was #i also tried to write fanfic during this time #but i wrote 8k and hated every minute of it #so i stopped #(that was the apias update)