#i asked if we could get almond milk and yogurt and it lasted for like a month!!!

[yourpalsalamander]

Breakfasttale Undyne:

Introduction: Here's a butch lesbian fish that's also yogurt!

Breakfasttale undyne is based off of a good healthy breakfast of vanilla yogurt with blueberries, walnuts, and almonds! Most of the aspects of this are implemented into her hair, as it is in fact yogurt with blueberries, walnuts, and almonds mixed in with it; though her skin matches the yogurt as well!

I would've used blue from the blueberries for her skin but then I thought that was basic and didn't make sense since the yogurt is the main part of the dish she's based on so I decided against it.

Routes: On the genocide route, she's still determined as ever to save the underground from the 'human' Frisk by challenging them and battling to the death. Of course, this doesn't turn out well, given the fact that it's the genocide route, and when the battle with a true hero is over, she turns into a healthy bowl of yogurt with blueberries, walnuts, and almonds. This consumable, when eaten, gives +10 temporary points to Frisk's defense stat, along with +5 attack points; All disappearing once the battle of which the consumable is eaten is over. This also grants Frisk a spear, much like the one Frisk uses in battle against Undyne to protect their soul from oncoming attacks; though this spear only lasts for 6 turns, before disappearing. During the battle against Undyne the Undying, there is a fairly well known line of her asking 'what did you do to him?' referring to Papyrus. Well, now you can answer that! By eating his consumable waffles in front of her. When the waffles are eaten she will look at Frisk in shock before screaming in anger and disgust 'How could you!!!!' then battle continues as normal.

On the pacifist route, Undyne behaves as normal. You hide from her in Waterfall for as long as possible, before she finds Frisk and challenges them to battle; Frisk runs all the way to hotlands where she gets dehydrated and passes out. Frisk then pours a glass of milk on her, and she gets up and walks back into waterfall in dismay + confusion. The hangout at Undyne's house plays as usual, other than instead of her challenging Frisk to make spaghetti with her, she challenges Frisk to make waffles with her, which again prompts a question about cannibalism that she quickly ignores.

Wrap up: There we have it, our butch fish lesbian of Breakfasttale! Ngl, I looked up 'body builder breakfasts' to figure out what food to base her off of. Also, apologies for being gone for so long, the summer is here and it's really hot, and when I get really hot I get sleepy so I haven't really been able to motivate myself to do much other that lazy day things, lol.

"Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!" -Mean Girls

All colors pulled from these images:

(I pulled the color ref images from google, I do not own them)

#breakfasttale #undertale #undertale au #underverse #underverse au #new au #breakfasttale au #new undertale au #au #undyne #undyne the undying #breakfasttale undyne #bt undyne #yogurt #vanilla yogurt #plain yogurt

[twicearoundthesun]

baby smc: how did the unnies react when the babies started asking about their parents more and questioning why people keep being mean cause their family is "weird"?

tw slight homophobia

this is actually probably lighter than you were expecting, cuz Tzuyu's young and just curious. If u dont like it and wanna get more specific-ly angsty feel free to swing around my inbox again 😂

...

“Unnie.” Nayeon heard Tzuyu whisper.

“Mh.” She mumbled, squinting at the label on the yogurt drinks she was about to toss in the cart. Momo bought these for them all the time, but her eyes widened at the amount of sugar packed into that tiny bottle. Tzuyu pulled at her shirt a little harder, and Nayeon looked up from what she was doing to look at the six-year-old. “Sorry, baby, Unnie was distracted. What’s up?”

“Why’s… um, why is he staring?”

Nayeon arched her brow. Before she could ask further, Jeongyeon returned with the milk she’d wandered off to get. “Love, they didn’t have the almond milk you usually buy-”

“Who’s staring, Tzuyu?” Nayeon glanced around the busy market. Her eyes landed on an older man a second before Tzuyu pointed confirming it was him.

“He keeps looking at you, Unnie. He looks like he’s angry.”

Jeongyeon turned to face him, too, a confused look on her face.

The guy looked between Nayeon and Jeongyeon and seemed to roll his eyes before pushing his cart away.

The two older girls shared a look, and Jeongyeon grabbed on to Nayeon’s arm before she could walk after him and make a scene.

“He’s staring because he’s very rude, Tzuyu.” Nayeon huffed. She couldn’t believe they were still dealing with this.

“But why was he looking at us like that?”

“He’s probably a little jealous that I get to hold Nayeon-Unnie’s hand and he wishes he had someone half as pretty.” Jeongyeon smiled, picking the girl up with a bit of effort – she was getting big – and placing her in the shopping cart. “Now let’s go, Captain Tzuyu, you have to let me know which direction I need to steer the ship.”

Nayeon took a breath to calm herself and followed. Jeongyeon gave her a reassuring smile, and Nayeon could almost hear her voice: No use paying attention to bigoted old men, Nayeon. We’re happy. If you let it ruin your happiness, they win.

But the next question came when they were loading the groceries in the car.

“Is that why the parents look at you too?”

“What, baby?”

“When Unnies pick us up at school. And sometimes they look at us. Is it because they’re jealous too?”

Nayeon’s heart ached. She didn’t give the kids enough credit for how perceptive they could be, and certainly not Tzuyu, who spent more time thinking and observing than even Nayeon herself sometimes. She met eyes with Jeongyeon, who just sighed and loaded the last of the groceries into the car.

“Tzu…” Jeongyeon said, once they were settled in the front and Tzuyu was buckled into her car seat. “Sometimes, um.. People stare at us, and your sisters and your Unnies, because we don’t… We don’t look like their families, a lot of the time.”

Tzuyu tilted her head.

“A lot of people have…” Jeongyeon swallowed. “Um. Well, first of all, a lot of people have two ‘parents’, not six.”

“But you aren’t our parents.” Tzuyu said it so matter-of-factly Nayeon almost laughed.

“Right. Guardians. We’re you’re guardians.”

“Like in Mina-Unnie’s Nintendo?”

“…No, I don’t think so?”

“The guardians in Mina-Unnie’s Nintendo shoot lasers.”

“We do not shoot lasers.” Jeongyeon said, “But that would be cool.”

“Baby, our family is a lot bigger than other people’s.” Nayeon jumped in. “Most families have two adults and a few kids. We have six adults. And a lot of people think we’re too young, too.”

“But you’re old?”

It was Jeongyeon’s turn to laugh.

“Right, baby, we think were old enough to do a good job. What do you think, do we do a good job?”

“Mhm. Lots of cuddles and good… um, nuggets. And bubble baths.”

“You’re right, we do make good chicken nuggets and bubble baths.”

Tzuyu looked deep in thought.

“Anything else, Tzuyu?”

“The kids at school think we’re weird too. They all have one mom and one dad. Except Hyejin. She has two moms, and she yells at the other kids when they ask us why we have no dads.”

“Hyejin is right, baby, that’s none of their business. We love you and that’s all that matters. You don’t have any Oppas to go with your Unnies because I think Jeongyeon is better than any Oppa I could find, and Sana and Momo think the same about each other. Okay?” Tzuyu nodded, and Nayeon continued, “But when you’re older, you can go find a boy, or a girl, or neither, or both, or whoever you want to hold hands with.”

“What about Jihyo and Mina Unnie?” Tzuyu asked.

“They’re not focused on finding anyone right now, baby. They’re having so much fun with grad school and work and taking care of three little monsters.”

“Okay.” Tzuyu shrugged, Jeongyeon’s dig going right over her head, and looked back out the window. And the conversation was done. They’d done well enough.

Jeongyeon sighed and squeezed Nayeons hand, lifting her eyebrows. Nayeon only smiled; what had seemed like it was going to be an awful conversation had turned out okay. She knew it would only get harder as the girls truly grew into being able to understand the nuances of the world around them, but she couldn’t imagine fielding the hard questions with anyone else.

#baby smc au #Nayeon #Jeongyeon #Tzuyu #2yeon #twice fic #twice au #sorry this was probably less angsty than u were looking for

[hiding-all-the-bodies]

The Werewolf's Good Christian Kiss

Below is a cursed AI-Generated Werewolf Romance Story that my roommate and I worked on. It is a genuine masterpiece.

It was all she could do not to stare.

In front of Nathalie stood the sexiest werewolf she had ever seen, eating a cup of strawberry almond milk yogurt sensually. He was naked except for his leather sandals and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. His black hair was wet with sweat from running through the forest, but he seemed totally relaxed. His pale skin glistened in the sunlight as it reflected off his light brown nipples.

Unfortunately, he had hairy toes. It was one of her least favorite things about men; she couldn't understand why they just didn't shave them.

But other than that minor flaw...

"You're really hot." She couldn't help herself.

He barked at her like a furry. "And you're really pretty." He licked his lips. "I'm so glad we got to spend time together today. I've been looking forward to this since forever."

She blushed.

Suddenly, her hand shot forward and knocked the yogurt cup out of his hand.

"If I can't have yogurt, no one can," she growled.

The wolf's eyes turned into fireballs. "That was mine!"

Nathalie shrugged. "Sorry. But I don't eat meat or dairy anymore."

His eyebrows furrowed. They looked like caterpillars. "Are you vegan?"

"Yes! So if you want my body, you'll have to take it in trade."

He laughed. A low, throaty sound. "Oh, baby, I'm literally going to stab you with an icicle"

She grinned back. "We're even then."

He stalked toward her. "Well, you still owe me for this yogurt."

She shook her head. "No thanks."

He turned around and put clothes on. When he finally saw Nathalie again, his smile faded and he stared at her strangely. As if seeing her for the first time.

"What is your problem?" she asked.

He glanced away, embarrassed. "I finally realized that I do not like women"

She stared at him. "So what are you? Asexual?"

He nodded, although it wasn't clear whether he meant yes or no.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I was eating yogurt while naked and it would be really awkward to bring it up in that situation"

She rolled her eyes. "So just come out and say it."

He sighed. "I'm gay."

Her jaw dropped open. "Gay?"

He nodded. "I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind having sex with you, but..."

Nathalie rolled her eyes and handed him a razor. "Please shave your stinky hairy toes"

"Uh, thanks"

"Also, please stop staring at me"

"Okay, okay. Sorry"

She smiled. "I forgive you"

They spent the rest of the day in the woods, talking and laughing.

So was he asexual or gay, or both? Was he homoromantic? Who's to say?

As long as he kept his hairy toes trimmed, Nathalie didn't care.

***

When she awoke the next morning, she discovered that she was alone. The wolf must have gone home.

In his wake was a pile of blueberry yogurt cups, most likely left from the night's hunt.

At least she had survived another full day with him without getting eaten by any bears.

***

Day 21:

Nathalie sat in bed, reading the newspaper. She had been meaning to get around to doing that for weeks now.

She wondered if the werewolf had kept his toes trimmed since the last time she saw him, 21 days ago.

She remembered how much he loved to run through the forest, his naked body dripping with sweat. And once he'd finished eating, he would always lick his lips and growl something like, 'You're really not my type.'

Was he gay or asexual? Did he prefer men over women? Or did he like both?

Nathalie bit her lip. Was he lying when he told her that he liked her?

Yeah, probably. Oh well, she thought. If he doesn't want to have sex with me, I don't need him anyway.

Besides, she had bigger problems to deal with right now. Like how to survive another week.

Surviving the hell we call high school.

***

High school sucked.

Everyone was mean and cruel.

They said nasty things behind your back. They laughed at you. Sometimes they made fun of you right to your face.

Like that time a girl named Sarah walked past Nathalie in the hallway and called her fat.

To be fair, she WAS fat, but still.

It hurt like hell. She wanted to kill her.

But instead, she just cried.

It was only the second day of school, and already she felt worthless.

A few hours later, she got into a fight with someone else.

That someone else had hairy toes and refused to trim them.

***

On Thursday, she woke up in a cold sweat.

She lay there for several minutes, breathing raggedly. Her heart pounded in her chest. She tried to calm herself down, but she couldn't. The only thing that seemed to give her heart rest was the thought of vegan yogurt.

But what if he had already ate all of the yogurt? Maybe he had decided to keep his hairy toes after all.

Then she thought about the werewolf's stash. It was huge. She remembered how she had accidentally knocked the yogurt out of his hand during their first encounter.

Maybe he had decided to eat all of the yogurt himself.

She shook her head. That was ridiculous. Why would he do that?

Sure, his feet smelled bad, but the idea of him eating all of Nathalie's yogurt was absurd.

Nathalie thought of all the delicious flavors available for vegans. Strawberry, plain, and plain with strawberry. There was even raspberry.

Raspberry yogurt.

Her mouth watered.

She needed some. Now.

***

By Friday, she was too desperate to wait another minute.

She grabbed the keys to her car and drove to the nearest grocery store.

She loaded her shopping basket with every variety of vegan yogurt that she came across.

In the check-out line, she saw him.

This time, he was wearing a tight-fitted bodycon dress with purple sequins. He looked good. Really good.

His hair was perfectly styled. He was holding hands with a girl who was wearing a see-through top and white shorts.

Nathalie stared at them.

The girl noticed.

Something in her... broke. Yogurt cups fell dramatically to the floor, some bursting open. The loud schlorp was heard across the store.

Nathalie stormed over to the werewolf and yanked the neck of his pretty purple dress.

"Who do you think you are," she growled at him. "Is this how you treat women?"

He looked down at his dress.

"Huh? What's wrong with my dress?"

Nathalie grabbed it and ripped it apart.

"I gave you my Sephora gift card to buy some lip gloss for me, and now you're schmoozing it up with some other woman!"

"Hey!" said the girl. "What are you doing?"

"Treating you like a piece of trash!"

"That's not true!"

The girl started to cry.

Nathalie began to sob.

"It's because I'm Lactose Intolerant!" The wolf suddenly yelled out. "It's not like I want to cheat on you or anything!"

The girl smiled. "Yes it is. You're dating me and cheating on me at the same time!"

Nathalie threw the yogurt cups at the wolf.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOT VEGAN YOGURT!!!" He screamed like a child.

Nathalie ran out of the grocery store.

***

She drove home, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She had ruined everything.

How could she ever trust anyone again?

***

The next morning, she woke up in her bed. This made sense, as she had fallen asleep there.

What didn't make sense was the wolf standing in her doorway in a fluffy pink robe and bunny slipper socks.

She looked at him.

"Where did you come from?"

"I followed you here from the grocery store yesterday"

"Oh yeah." She rubbed her eyes. "Wait, why are you in my house?"

"Because I'm gay"

"You're gay?!"

"Yeah, I'm gay"

"So you've been having sex with other people!"

"No, I've been living with two roommates since I moved in"

"You don't live here."

"I know, but I've been sleeping on their couch for years now"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to ruin our friendship"

"But you lied to me"

"I don't lie"

"But you did"

"Show me your toes"

"My what?"

"Come on, show me your toes"

"Why?"

"You're a liar, remember? Show me your toes"

"Fine. But afterward, you have to leave me alone."

Wolf kicked off his bunny slippers and showed his hairy toes, ashamed.

"I thought you promised to keep them shaved!" Nathalie grumbled.

"I did"

"Why won't you let me shave them then?"

"I don't know, but I promise I will never shave my toes again. Not unless I want to"

"Stupid stupid stupid man" She slammed her fist against her forehead.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Just forget it"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes, go away"

"Okay."

Nathalie was so much happier without him. She still didn't have any yogurt though.

***

The next day, Nathalie woke up feeling refreshed.

She lay in bed and stared at the ceiling.

She knew she should probably get up and start her day, but she also knew that she didn't have to do anything until she felt like it.

She would call the boogey man to buy her yogurt, and then she would sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day.

It was going to be great!

***

Later that afternoon, she went to pick up the phone.

She hung it up twice before she finally picked it up.

Finally, he answered.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi, it's me"

"Nathalie?"

"Yeah. Are you busy?"

"Not really"

"Would you mind coming over?"

"Yeah, I would mind. I'm in my pajamas and watching Netflix. It's a self love day. And you are not me, I cannot love you today."

"I'll be there in five minutes."

"Okay bye."

She hung up the phone.

Five minutes later, he knocked on her door.

"Excuse me? Who is this?"

"Pizza delivery"

"Ha! No way, I'm not paying for that"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Please pay at the counter"

"Fuck that, go away!"

"You owe me $10."

Nathalie rolled her eyes, and opened the door to confront the wolf. This time, he was wearing footie pajamas.

"Why are you dressed like that?" She asked.

"I just got home from work. I had to stay late"

"And why was that?"

"Someone stole my lunch money"

She frowned. "I will not be paying for your food"

"But..."

They kiss a good Christian kiss with no tongue.

Nathalie smiled.

"Thank you so much, Wolf"

"No problem."

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Nathalie closed the door and leaned against it.

She vowed to never see him again.

***

Day 34:

The wolf had come back.

He had brought her a dozen flowers, which were arranged in a vase on Nathalie's dining room table.

Something about him was... different.

He no longer showed up unannounced while naked, he was always wearing clothes now. She had told him that she was not one of his other girls, and that he needed to stop lying about everything.

She wouldn't say it, but she suspected that he was depressed. She pitied him.

He was so sad. So lonely.

When he had shown up the first time, she was upset with him for being rude, but after a few days passed, she realized that he was sweet, and almost kind. But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined. She was glad that she hadn't given him her number.

She didn't even know his name.

Just like that, she forgot about him. She didn't want to speak to him anymore.

Until the motherfricker showed up again. Still wearing clothes.

"So, you're still here" she said, looking at him with contempt.

"Yeah, I am."

"What do you want?"

"I can't seem to leave you alone"

"Don't worry, I won't bother you anymore."

"You never bothered me. Or my name isn't Chadli"

"Chadli?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah"

"Why do you keep calling me by my first name? We were never friends."

"I know. But I don't care about that"

"Well, then you shouldn't have bothered me in Walmart last week. Stupid"

The wolf shook his head. "I'm sorry"

"Shut up and leave me alone"

"Please"

"No."

The wolf sighed. "I guess I'll just take these flowers."

"Oh no, you can leave the flowers"

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

The wolf took the flowers and left her apartment.

***

The next day, she found a note taped to her front door.

"Sorry about last night, Nathalie. I know you said to leave the flowers. Sorry bout dat"

She crumpled up the paper and threw it in the garbage.

***

A little while later, she walked into her kitchen to find a dozen fresh roses sitting on her table. They weren't from the wolf.

Nathalie then realized that she may have a sleepwalking problem.

***

The next day, the wolf showed up.

He was wearing a nice pair of jeans and a button down shirt.

He smiled when he saw her.

"Hi, Nathalie"

"Did you bring me a present this time?"

"I did, watch" The full moon had risen. The wolf started violently changing. His skin turned green and his teeth grew sharp and pointed.

"That's disgusting!" Nathalie said.

"You're beautiful!" he said.

"I'm not!"

He laughed.

Nathalie looked down. Yep, toes were still hairy.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

"Afraid not."

"I don't understand you, Chadli"

"I don't get you either"

"How can you not?"

"All I want is to be loved by you"

"That's not possible."

"Then make it so. Love me"

"How?"

"Come here"

The wolf gently took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

They then made friendship bracelets.

***

Another day, another dozen red roses.

She wasn't sure if she was going crazy. Maybe she was dreaming him.

Or maybe it was real.

She couldn't decide.

Or it was her stupid sleepwalking problem again.

Maybe she was just imagining everything.

***

The wolf came over to Nathalie's house every single day.

There was something different about him each day.

Today, he wore a tie.

Unfortunately he was not wearing a shirt. Nathalie guessed that it was due to the wolfing out debacle.

He was always dirty though.

Nathalie couldn't help but feel disgusted by him.

"I'm sorry about last night, Nathalie" he said.

"You're welcome"

"I'm so embarrassed. My sister Enid said to give you daisies instead because you aren't like other girls. You're a cool girl"

Nathalie laughed. "Thanks for the flowers"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize, please. I like having you around."

"I like being here too."

That day, Nathalie realized that she is bipolar. It made a lot of sense. Her mood changed all the time. She was happy one minute, and angry the next.

But she realized that she was happiest when she was with him.

She wondered if he could be right.

She pulled out her revolver from her belt loop and shot Chadli square in the chest. He fell to the ground and remained dead.

She called the police to report a murder.

***

The next day, Nathalie was in the living room when she heard someone knocking on her door. It was exactly who she had expected.

"Why do you keep coming back?" she asked, holding her gun tightly.

"Because you are an amazing woman"

"I'm not"

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on."

"I'm sorry, I'm in love with someone else."

"Who?"

"You"

"Is he hotter than me?"

"No"

"Then I don't understand"

"I just don't think I can love you"

"Why not?"

"Because you're supposed to be dead"

"I am dead. I'm a ghost werewolf now."

Nathalie was confused.

"You're a what now?"

"I'm a ghost werewolf now"

"I don't believe you"

"Can you see me?"

"Yes"

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes"

She looked into his eyes.

"Yes, I can see you. Yes, I can hear you"

"Good," he said, "So obviously I'm a ghost werewolf. Duh."

"I don't believe you. If you are a ghost, how are you breathing?"

"My body is still here, but my spirit has gone to Heaven. See, I'm wearing my favorite sweater from my aunt, and I'm wearing my favorite pants from my grandma. If I weren't a ghost, these clothes would not exist because I accidentally shrunk them in the wash 5 years ago."

Nathalie shook her head.

"Either way, I'm here now. I'm not leaving until I get some closure"

"Closure?"

"You know, the ending of a story"

Nathalie looked up, and was suddenly facing a meat cleaver, lightly stained with the remains of a strawberry yogurt cup.

"Shit!"

She screamed.

The wolf laughed. "Now you see me, now you don't!"

"You bastard! You lied to me!"

"It's okay, Nathalie. It will be mostly painless. Probably"

"No! I want my life back!"

"I'm afraid that you don't have one anymore."

"Bullshit! You can't kill me, I'm Nathalie!"

"I can do whatever I want," the wolf replied.

The last thing Nathalie ever saw was the shining path of silver as metal met bone.

***

Nathalie woke up in bed with a smile on her face. The wolf had been real.

She loved him. She didn't know why, but she did.

She was glad that she had been able to finally talk to him.

She tried to rise from her bed, but couldn't because she was fricking dead.

She could only move her mouth.

Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. She looked around, confused. She didn't remember getting out of her bed. Then she remembered that she had died.

The funeral was lovely. Three people attended, and Nathalie's mother even gave a speech.

"She was such a hopeless romantic, and she always watched the entirety of those weird werewolf romance novel ads on youtube. Everyone should have known that she was adopted, this is a vampire loving family"

"I heard her scream, and I ran to the door. When I opened it, she had a meat cleaver in her head and was smiling like nothing had happened. She said that she was going to Heaven, but I knew better. When she crumpled to the floor, I was too shocked to cry. I knew it was the notorious ghost werewolf. Where did I go wrong as a mother?"

Nathalie's father looked out at the crowd and smiled. "I always knew that the ghost werewolf had a secret crush on me. All those times, when he came home from school, and I was eating dinner, he would sneak in the kitchen and watch me eat."

"He probably ate more than usual that day, too. I hope he enjoyed the last piece of steak that I ever cooked for him"

Everyone in the room was silent, except for the wolf. He was now a poltergeist. He began to whisper in her ear.

"Hey Nathalie, remember when we first met? In Walmart?"

She did not speak, as is customary for corpses.

"Remember how I told you that you were beautiful?"

Nathalie stayed still, as is also customary for corpses.

"Do you remember what I said?"

She laid there like a dead person. Which she was.

"I told you that I loved you."

She did nothing. Again, customary for a corpse.

"I mean, I really did."

She still remained silent.

"Nathalie, do you love me?"

She was a ghost. She could not answer.

The fearsome ghost werewolf Chadli haunted the local Walmart until the end of time.

#werewolf #ai tales #ai generated #story #writing #nathalie #chadli #death #fantasy #masterpiece #ghost #roses #funeral #memes #yogurt #dairy free #strawberry #hairy toes

[theflurtifly]

cant wait until i can buy my own food and actually get stuff that wont hurt my stomach every time i get hungry enough to eat the shit my moms second husband buys

#like. why are you spending so much money on bacon and pork and ribs #they literally make me nauseous #i literally just want food i can eat without gagging or getting a stomachache or a migraine #please can we get like. nondairy stuff. and vegetarian proteins #i keep getting foot cramps because the only fruit we have are apples and mushy grapes #like!!! i cant eat mushy grapes!!! my brain wont let me!!! and my teeth hurt when i try to eat apples sometimes!!! #i asked if we could get almond milk and yogurt and it lasted for like a month!!! #jesus #im getting sick of eating kd and oven pizza every second night!! #UGH #noah talks

[svnflowervol666]

Hey I love your work and Idk if your taking requests but if you are could you do a oneshot where Harry and y/n have planned to have the perfect birth plan but then coronavirus happens and they have to have the baby in their own home. Stay safe - anon ❤️❤️

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Didn’t mean for this one to be so long and I most definitely hate the end, but here she is! Take care and TPWK.

Harry’s eyes lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning when he felt his girlfriend’s phone vibrating against the cool, granite countertop where they were currently eating breakfast in their vacation home in California. What started out as a last-minute getaway to soak up the remaining time they had before they would welcome their first little bub into the world turned into a rather long stint, as a pandemic had quickly swept the world off its feet and ceased all travel. They were stuck, everyone was stuck, and Y/N was eight months pregnant. 

The phone call they’d been waiting on, the one happening right now that was causing Harry to nervously bounce his foot against the metal support beam on his chair, would determine whether or not it was safe for the two of them to return to London so Y/N could give birth alongside Harry and her regular doctor. They’d been stuck inside for so long that they’ve had time to talk about literally everything -- about reupholstering the chairs in the living room, about their childhood friends and secrets they kept for them, about if pineapple belonged on pizza and if chips and salsa is considered a meal. Harry and Y/N talked about a lot, but what they hadn’t discussed, was the possibility of giving birth to their son thousands of miles away from their families and the doctors they were most comfortable with. It was always understood between both of them that in spite of the state of the world, things would always work out for them; they’d get approved for travel and be home in England before her due date. They’d have the most perfect baby boy in the most perfect way imaginable. 

They were right, but only about the first part.

He watched her fumble with the gemstone ring that adorned her middle finger as she answered the phone call with her other hand. The stone matched the birth-month of their unborn son. Harry had gotten it for her that Christmas and she hadn’t taken it off since. She anxiously chewed on the skin of her bottom lip, still quite swollen from sleep. Harry’s heartbeat sounded like it was hurling towards his eardrums at a rapid pace, soon becoming all he could make sense of due to how important this phone call was.

Y/N wouldn’t have to repeat to Harry what the doctor told her on the phone, because the look on her face said everything he needed to know.

“It’s just not safe for anyone, especially pregnant women, to travel right now. You’re not facing any special circumstances that would warrant the need to leave the country, so we’re asking that you meet with one of our partnering hospitals to find a doctor in LA that can prepare you to give birth.”

“Yeah, I understand.” she was able to get out as a wave of salty tears spilled onto her cheeks.

She reached for Harry’s hand that laid protectively over her swollen stomach, squeezing her sweaty palm against his own as their fears were confirmed; they had to have the baby here and not in London with their family.

“Thank you so much. I’ll, uhm, give you a call back when I’m ready to schedule our next appointment...Yeah, you too. Bye.”

Y/N paid no mind to her surroundings after that, quick to wiggle herself off of the barstool and abandon the almond milk yogurt and her cell phone as she made a beeline for the bedroom her and Harry shared.

“Baby, wha-”

“Just need a minute,” her blubbers were hardly decipherable as she carried herself down the hall, but Harry was quick to follow.

“Nope,” Harry interjected, walking through the doorway just as she had collapsed into the plush mattress with her head in her hands.

“Yeh don’t get t’ do this by yourself.”

He hushed and cooed her as he climbed towards her from the foot of the bed, not leaving an inch of space between them when he laid down beside her. Not a second was wasted when he got his hands on her, pressing kisses to her forehead and thumbing away each tear that cascaded down her cheek. She was already a sensitive one -- add pregnancy into the mix and a couple of meltdowns like this were bound to happen.

“Come back t’ me, lovie. Please,” Harry pleaded, his voice soft and tender against the heart-wrenching sounds of her cries.

“I just - I can’t do this. Not here,” Y/N hiccupped. 

“Sure you can,” Harry quipped through his own frets about becoming a father in a country he didn’t particularly consider to be home.

“We’ll have mum ship all of his stuff over here. We’ll make sure we’ve got everything we need. We’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know any of those doctors at the hospital. We don’t even know our neighbors here for Christ’s sake,” her voice was hoarse and strained.

Her words struck Harry as hurtful, but true. But he was quite the optimist, and wouldn’t dare let his girl be sad. With everything in his power, he would spend his last breath trying to make her happy and see that smile that he loved so much.

“Honey,” he began, “I know this is not easy. ‘M not gonna pretend like I know how you’re feeling, but I know that, as shit as this situation is, we’ll have our son by the end of it. Tha’s worth goin’ through just about anything, isn’t it?”

Y/N nodded through deep breaths, slowly relaxing into Harry’s touch.

“We could even have him here, if yeh want. Takes the worry about gettin’ sick at the hospital out of th’ way. Yeh can do whatever yeh want, however yeh want. And I’d be right there with yeh the whole time.”

She seemed to ease up significantly at the thought of a home birth, as Harry could tell just by the look on her face that she seemed less upset at the thought of not being able to give birth in London and more so intrigued by what he’d just mentioned.

“Y-You think we could do that?”

“Absolutely,” Harry answered in a whisper, “‘M sure it’s just a few phone calls and we’ll can have it all sorted out.”

“I like that idea,” her voice was muffled as she leaned in to kiss Harry’s wrist that still held on to either side of her face.

“Me too, now tha’ I think about it. He’ll already be safe at home the second he’s out.”

“This isn’t home,” Y/N pouted as she wormed her way out of Harry’s grasp and settled herself on top of his chest, baby bump pressing impossibly close into Harry’s torso.

Harry sighed as he welcomed his girl into his embrace, using the hand that wasn’t wrapped around her shoulder to cradle her stomach.

“’S more of a home than it isn’t a home. We’ve got memories here,” Harry reminded her.

“We’ve done birthdays and anniversaries here. Couple of New Years Eve parties I think... Shagged in every room too if I’m not mistaken.”

That earned a laugh from Y/N, her taught belly jiggling slightly against Harry’s.

“Even the attic,” she exhaled.

“Even the attic. Couldn’t help it though. Yeh ass looked way too good in those shorts when we were moving the furnit-”

“I get it. Don’t need to be reminded of how I used to look before this happened,” she said, gesturing to her bump.

“Erm, your ass still looks plenty sexy if that's what you’re sayin’,” Harry almost looked offended.

“In fact, I’d say yeh look even sexier now than yeh did back then.”

“Yeah, it’s cos you’re a narcissist and me being pregnant with your son is feeding your ego.”

Harry’s childish laugh was like the cooling balm that soothed the blistering phone call she’d received not twenty minutes prior, melting away any sadness or despair she held in her heart. 

A peaceful quietness took over them, neither of them feeling like there was much to be said. Maybe they wouldn’t be having the most ideal experience into first-time parenthood, but they were together and they had each other, stupid jokes and annoying habits included. And that’s all they needed.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #dad!harry x pregnant!reader #dad!harry #dad!harry styles #harry styles x pregnant!reader #asks

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

Klaine it up! 2, 7, 12, 21, 50

Okay...I got this. PROMPTS FOUND HERE

2 - you accidentally sprayed them with yogurt when you open the lid the wrong way. 

This was not Kurt Hummel’s first time opening yogurt but it might’ve well have been. He was sitting at a picnic table in Central Park on his lunch break from Vogue.com having just picked up a BLT, sweeten iced tea, and strawberry yogurt from his newfound favorite sandwich shop. It just happened to be two blocks down from the Vogue offices too. 

After eating half a sandwich, he found himself watching three young girls practicing their hula-hooping skills. Of course, while entranced by the colorful swirls of plastic, Kurt grabbed his low-fat yogurt and pulled at the lid, and the minute he did another man was being dragged by his golden retriever over to Kurt’s table. 

Before he could stop it, a splash of light pink yogurt was splattered across the front of a bright blue polo. 

“Shit, I am so sorry,” they both said. 

Kurt had a lap full of puppy and the man covered in yogurt. 

“She’s really friendly and has a fondness for bacon,” the man said, gesturing to the sandwich. “And who can blame her.” 

With that comment, Kurt pushed his meal away slightly. Out of reach of the dog’s mouth. 

“I usually am way more careful with my food,” Kurt said. 

The handsome man only laughed, “it’s no big deal, do you happen to have a napkin?” 

“Oh yes!” Kurt reached into his bag to grab one. 

“Thanks,” he said, “come here, Lacey.” 

The puppy sat right at his side and waited. Kurt stood up to wipe the yogurt away while the man kept Lacey still. 

“I can...” he started to say but Kurt was already pulling away having cleaned it up the best he could. 

“Lacey and I also share a fondness for cute boys but I don’t suppose...” he trailed off, blushing. 

Kurt still wasn’t used to being flirted with but this wasn’t small town, Ohio. 

“And who can blame you,” Kurt replied, already grabbing a pen and paper from his bag to write on. 

THE REST OF THE PROMPTS CAN BE FOUND BELOW THE CUT

7 - you both do the side-to-side dance when you try to pass them in the grocery store aisle

Kurt told his dad to pick up an extra heavy whipping cream three days ago when Burt asked if Kurt needed any other ingredients for Thanksgiving dessert. He told him. 

“I only need 3 things: dark chocolate, heavy whipping cream, and almond extract.” 

Burt had gotten everything but Kurt needed whipping cream for both the chocolate mousse itself and the whipped topping he planned to make. Now he was at the crowded grocery store one day prior to Thanksgiving. Exactly where he didn’t want to be. 

 Of course, every grocery store made you walk all the way to the back of the store for dairy products. I’ll just grab milk and eggs real quick, you think, then suddenly you have a cart full of snacks you didn’t need. 

Kurt found the red and white carton fairly quick. He backed up and started to make his way to the self-checkout. Before he could think about the temptation of potato chips, he was stopped by another body. 

They both stopped and shifted their feet to make way for the other. From right to left and back again for several seconds before both falling into pits of laughter. Kurt looked into deep hazel eyes that twinkled at him. He wondered how long he could do this dance just to stare at them some more. 

“That’s my fault, I came around the corner too quick,” he said. 

Not quick enough, Kurt thought, we could’ve fallen to the floor. You on top of me would be quite nice. 

“No, it’s all me,” Kurt replied, “I should’ve been watching where I was going.” 

He fumbles into his pocket for a business card. Isabel’s one-month anniversary gift. 

“If you’re in town longer than tomorrow, I’d love to buy you some coffee as an apology,” Kurt said, handing the card over. 

“Oh.” Kurt watched him scan the card, flipping it over in his hands. “I’d love to, Kurt.” 

A shiver ran down his spine. Maybe he should thank his dad for forgetting the cream. 

12 - you kick a ball and your shoe flies off, hitting them in the back of your head

Blaine used to hate having an older brother. Growing up, he felt constantly in competition with Cooper’s larger-than-life personality. Now that Cooper had settled down in LA with Lisa, his wife, and had two wonderful kids, having an older sibling didn’t seem too bad.

It was summer break, Blaine was free to leave the confines of his NYU dorm room. He was trying to get lost in the sunshine of California to forget he was about to start his final year of college. Time with his niece and nephew was sure to put any nervousness out of his head. 

They were playing soccer in the park when it happened. It was bound to. Everyone in LA was hot. It was like the law. 

Cute boys and Blaine’s non-existence coordination weren’t a good mix. 

Blaine went to kick the ball and caught sight of a bicep. An unusually pale bicep. A rare sight in sunny Los Angles. Arms, Blaine fantasized, he’d love to see wrapped around him or possibly pushing his legs apart. 

He was sure he tighten his laces. This is why Blaine Anderson didn’t wear sneakers. Missed the ball by an inch but the force of his kick sent something flying through the air directly towards the cute guy: a sneaker. 

It happened so fast, Blaine heard the yell of surprise before realizing his sock was exposed. Once he realized what happened, he rushed over to the man. 

“Fuck, I am so sorry,” Blaine said. “Can I do anything?” 

“Well, an aspirin would be great,” the man teased. 

Blaine sat in the grass and chuckled. Still extremely embarrassed. 

“Not exactly the fairytale I always dreamed of.” 

“Fairytale?” Blaine asked, scrunching up his nose in confusion. 

“Cinderella,” he said, like it was obvious, “a lost shoe as it were.” 

“I’m not Cinderella,” Blaine told him, “sorry to say. I’m more of a Blaine.” 

“Kurt.” 

“It’s nice to meet you.” 

“I do believe this is yours,” Kurt said, handing over the shoe. 

21 - Almost spilling a drink because you met their eyes and got distracted thinking how cute they are. 

His dad always said pour your drinks yourself. Blaine became that friend who grabbed drinks for everyone for this reason exactly. He wasn’t sure what the occasion was exactly but his study buddy from his songwriting workshop invited him. It was at some loft in Bushwick but Blaine didn’t mind the adventure. 

Until tonight he had no reason to venture to this part of the city. 

“Blaine!” Elliott exclaimed, pushing a solo cup into his hand, “Drink up, karaoke at eleven!” 

Then he disappeared into the crowd. Blaine headed straight for the kitchen and poured the toxic mixture down the sink. He found a new cup and started reading the labels of the bottles spread out across the counter. Mixers and any alcohol of your choice seemed to be available. 

Rum and coke sounded good. He went into the fridge for a cold soda first. Blaine was happy the kitchen was empty he wasn’t quite ready to start making friends. As far as he knew, Elliott was the only friendly face here tonight. 

He poured the rum in for some semblance of tracking his alcohol intake. The last time he got drunk, he dialed the professor he TA-ed for, who thankfully overlooked that incident. Blaine cracked open the coke and while he poured surveying the living room. 

People were dancing to an upbeat pop song that Blaine strangely didn’t recognize and others were mingling in doorways or sat on scattered sofas and chairs chatting. He caught a pair of blue eyes in the crowd. 

The man they were attached to was stunning. If he hadn’t blinked, Blaine could’ve mistaken him for a marble statue carved by the gods. They didn’t lose eye contact as he walked towards the kitchen. It wasn’t until the man stood on the other side of the counter that Blaine noticed his hand was covered in soda. 

“Papers towels are behind you,” the man offers. 

Blaine set the now empty can down and spun around for paper towels to clean up his mess. 

Just great, he thought, make a fool out of yourself. That’ll score you some points. 

He cleans up his hand before wiping down the puddle of bubbling coke on the counter. 

“I don’t think we’ve met,” he continues, “and this is my party so I like to know all my guests.” 

“Your party?” Blaine stutters. 

“It’s my birthday.” 

“I’m Blaine,” he introduces. “Elliott invited me. We have a class together.” 

“Oh, you’re Blaine. From songwriting workshop.” 

“That’s me.” 

Elliott’s obviously talked about him before to this man. This gorgeous, completely out of Blaine’s league man. 

“God, he’s relentless,” he says. “I’m going to kill him.” 

“Um, might I ask why? I can leave if there’s an issue.” Blaine knows when he isn’t welcome. 

“No, no,” he replies, “don’t go. It’s just he’s been trying to set us up for months now.” 

It all clicks.

“Oh god, you’re Kurt.” 

“That’s me, the birthday boy. and you are Elliott’s idea of the best gift ever.”

Blaine blushes. “I don’t know if I can I've up to that but if I can have the next dance I can try.” 

Kurt nods. “I’d like that, Blaine. A lot.” 

50 - getting paired up on an amusement park ride that requires even-numbered riders

All of Kurt’s friends hated rollercoasters. Rachel didn’t like heights, Elliott refused to do anything with loops, and Santana, well, she was too caught up in her new girlfriend to be bothered. 

“I only wanna hear screaming tonight,” she told him. 

So, Kurt waited in line himself. Some fun day at Coney Island this was turning out to be. He was so glad he was spending the day with friends. Kurt rolled his eyes. 

The woman directing the ride gave Kurt his row number and moved down the line. Behind him someone tapped on his shoulder, Kurt turned around and found himself looking at a curly-haired man around his age. 

“Guess we’re both odd men out then, I’m the single rider in my group today.” 

“Oh, um, no, my friends were too chicken to even ride,” Kurt said. 

“I’m really surprised Wes and David are good to go. They both hate being upside-down.” 

Kurt smiled.

“I'm Blaine, by the way.”

“Kurt.” 

The ride emptied out and Kurt crawled over to the far seat. They buckled themselves in and listened to the instructions to keep all body parts inside at all times. Then, the bar came down and the ride launched. 

After the ride ended, Blaine and Kurt were chatting all the way down. Wes and David trailing behind them.

“That second loop really threw me,” Blaine was saying. 

“I saw,” Kurt exclaimed, “I thought you were going to fall out of your seat.” 

“Downfalls of being short and compact.”

When three more people joined their day at the park, no one questioned it. 

#this was a lot at once but SO FUN #monica's inbox #my fics #klaine drabbles #meet cutes

[maybe-your-left]

clyde x kylo go nondairy for the new year.... who hates it more? that’s between me and my diary 👀🤭

spoiler alert: @finn-ray-nal-beads and i have gone dairy free & vegan for the month of january! so why not make the besties do it to?

You had stood in front of the fridge for 30 minutes now and your headache was now forming into a migraine. Clydes doctor told him he had to watch his food intake, saying he had high blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Which wasn’t a shock, he ate literally anything and everything he could.

One time you tricked him into eating a sponge, he wasn’t paying attention and you wanted to test his ability to multitask. He sadly had three bites before noticing it wasn’t a sandwich.

“Why does everthin’ got dairy in it?”

“I don’t know sweetie,” you mumbled from the floor. You had a notebook in hand, writing down each item that you needed to replace with a healthier option. You were excited about the change, the girls would eat better and Clyde would get some much needed nutrition. Not that he wasn’t fit, but he was a southern man... you were 99% sure his favorite food was butter.

It was devastating for him to find out that it had dairy.

“Do we have t’ get rid of it all?” He whined, “How bout we jus’ stock it in the outside fridge, no use thrown away good food.”

“You’re just gonna eat it when we all go to sleep,” you huffed, “Dont think I can’t hear you waking up in the middle of the night to grab a ‘glass of water’.”

“Yer killin’ me darlin’,” Clyde set out the ice cream, staring at it with a lustful gaze. You were sure in that moment he was about to break. Attack the carton like he was the last man on earth and it was his only food.

“Come on,” you made grabby hands at him, “Help me up, we have shopping to do.”

———

Boone county wasn’t the best place for health food shopping, their idea of plant based and dairy free was a small shelf of almond milk and old yogurts. You were frustrated by the third store and Clyde was minutes away from abandoning you on the side of the road to get a Big Mac.

“Lemme make a call real quick,” you mumbled. If anyone knew where to shop for ‘healthy foods’ it was Kylo. That man was the epitome of clean living, everything he ate was homemade (by the staff he hired), balanced proportions, veggies, breads, lean beef and sometimes the occasion vegan meal when he feels like it.

The man has his own juicer for godssake, he would know where to find some Oat Milk.

“Hello gorgeous,” he mused through the phone, “You were just the person I wanted to talk to. Miss me already?”

“Ren yer on speaker,” Clyde hollared, a deep smirk coloring his face while he glared at you. It had been a few weeks since your ‘arrangement’ with Kylo... it was new and still slightly uncomfortable.

But it was just sex, well for you anyway. And your husband was always present.

Either apart of it or watching for a chair, Clyde was very into the idea of Kylo fucking you numb every Thursday night (kids aren’t home, Junior is with his aunt).

“How can I help you both,” Kylo laughed through the speaker. You could tell he was busy doing something, the sound of his ear moving on his phone was obvious. He was probably working, holding it between his shoulder and face.

“We’re tryin’ t’ find a store that sells that dairy-free junk.”

“Why?”

“Because Clydes doctor scolded him like a child for eating like a black bear,” you sighed.

“Hey,” Clyde grumbled, “If I’m gonna be a bear, might as well be a Grizzly.”

“Whatever,” Kylo mumbled, “Come to my house, you can browse through the walk in. I have all the health foods delivered since this place is hillbilly hell.”

———

Kylo was waiting at the door, greeting you with a kiss and a firm handshake for Clyde. The two of them started to wander off to the living room, some stupid fight was on tonight and they were arranging what house would be better for getting plastered at.

You skipped to the walk in, Kylos house really had everything. A shiny gourmet kitchen, complete with a pantry that was larger than your master bedroom and a walk in mini grocery store. You grabbed a bag and started shuffling through the stock, falling into your own little world.

Just as you were reaching for something on the top shelf, a hard body pressed against you. “If you needed help,” Kylo reached above you, “You could’ve asked for me.” He started placing rough kisses on the shell of your ear, setting the box of tofu into your bag before latching his hands around your waist. Kylo rocked his hips into your supple ass, pushing you against the wired shelving.

“I had the most lovely dream about you last night, had to fuck myself twice when I woke up.”

“Oh,” you whispered, rocking back into him. The hard curve of his cock pressing into you. Kylo was always hard, just like Clyde. Always ready to leave you wet and undeniably full.

“So,” he brought his cheek against your own, his cold hands snaking under your shirt to squeeze your soft breasts. Pulling a whine from your throat as he pinched your nipples through the fabric, “Am I going dairy free too?”

“Why would you do that?”

“You swallow my cum, that would be cheating if I wasn’t on the same diet as your husband.”

The walk in door opened and shut again, you rotated your face around and smiled at Clyde. He stood there staring at the two of you, his arms crossed as he shook his head.

“Sunshine,” he cooed as he got closer, pressing his lips to your own. You chased his as he pulled away, the only thing stopping you was Kylos death grip.

“If we gotta give up some thin’ for the month... maybe y’ should too...”

“Uh-huh,” you whined, Kylos right hand was now sliding under your waistband. Cupping your sex with his palm while your husband watched in thought. Kylo rubbed his fingers through your folds, gathering wetness on his middle finger before skimming your clit. “What do you want me to give up Daddy?”

Clyde hummed, pressed his front into the side of your body. Kylo shifted so he was on the opposite side, allowing Clyde to palm your ass through your pants.

“Maybe we won’t let y’ cum for a month.”

———

🐻 big daddy is king

@finn-ray-nal-beads @historyandfandoms50 @contesa-lui-alucard @roanniom @ohdamnadamm @clydesfavoritegirl l @jynz-andtonic @relationshipwithmybed @shesakillerkween @desiraypark @caillea

#adam driver #kylo ren #clyde logan #clyde and kylo besties #modren kylo #kinky boys #new years resolutions

[jiminrings]

I'll show you~ Can I please get a drabble of Yoongi as a roommate? Because I think that'd be an amazing IDEA- like srsly, he'd be the one to tell u to wake him early for his work stuff and then get grumpy in the morning and refuse to even moVE out of the bed and u have to bribe him with something to wake him up for hiS WORK. And he will most likely say "no" to any chores in the house but still do aLL of them nonetheless. aND though he hates hugs on occasions he might even ask for cuddles???

across the living room

pairing: yoongi x y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: you’re yoongi’s alarm clock, he aLWAYS acts that you’d be the bane of his existence, and his cooking actually tastes good if he wakes up early enough for it!!

notes: thank u so much for ur request baby i have nevEr written something so fast ever in my life because i was so :’’)

yoongi isn’t necessarily a bad roommate

of course nOt!!

because bad is relative and everyone has different variations of a bad roomie

he wasn’t messy or anything like that

it’s just the occasional clutter that he’d clean up himself

he isn’t rude either

well okay “rude” is aLSO relative

just because yoongi could be a little condescending most times

like when yOU do the grocery shopping and the first thing he’d do is look through the bags with some certain hums of approval

nice nice you picked the kimchi that wasn’t on sale because it was gonna expire the very next week like what you did with the last time

your picking and judgement for carton eggs are actually improving!!!

yoongi once called you an idiot for not smelling the carton of eggs first and in your defense you were in a hURRY

ok but he do be right they did stink the last time

hmmmm decent snacks

“why did you get this milk? i already told you to buy the other brand!! it has like a difference of three dollars and gOd if you’re short on it then ask me for it”

can that be called rude and condescending <3

or after yoongi’s milk tirade, he then goes picking at the other groceries you’ve gotten

you got less greens this time because if you’re being honest you’re getting sICK of seeing spinach and celery all the damn time

you’re the one who mostly cooks anyways and yoongi still insists that you use them

you could have a bagel for breakfast and hE’D PUT SPINACH ON IT

you’re getting a bit fed up with the color green nowadays so you got more fruits than vegetables!! frozen berries and yogurt are the superior match!!

there’s the “too-sweet diabetes are you trying to kill yourself y/n look at the nutrition fACTS” cereal

the “we have an obsessive amount of chocolate-covered almonds. stop it already. i’ll throw this out i’m not even kidding” almonds

the “why did you buy three boxes they’re all the same thing it’s not even delicious anyway” mozzarella sticks

the “this tastes like cardboard i swear why won’t you just get the individual ingredients that i told you to” cake mix

and of course

the “why did you buy tampons already? napkins, also?? it’s not even your period yet” tam-

wait a minute

... h-hold on

did yoongi really just

you must have froze and he must have noticed too because well that’s a surprise you’re nOt huffing with his digs

“you knOW my cycle???”

he doesn’t really know why it’s such a big deal that he shrugs at your pointless question and just continues piling on the cupboards

“yeah, don’t you?”

b-but

wHAT

“i don’t even tell you wHEN i get my period!! why do you know that??”

“you don’t need to tell me, stupid.”

ok rude

but seconds of all hOW does he know

you can’t even talk about yourself to yoongi or even tell him how your day went because he’s just.,.,.

yoongi could sense the internal meltdown in your head and he just chuckles because you’re entirely clueless

or maybe he’s just extremely observant of you without even noticing

there’s a pile of paper bags that the two of you keep because rECYCLING <3

and he always sees atleast one or two disappearing from the pile when you have your period because you’re nOt just gonna discard it to the communal trash can

you’re not a monster!!!

the snacks go by a little more quickly this time

you’re a little mORE demanding but just a little

like when yoongi has the news on when you eat dinner and you’re side-eyeing him

ok he’s already turned the volume down

you still look irritated at him

“.... y’want me to change the channel?”

lol and you have a zit somewhere on your face that yoongi could point out but he chooses not to

instead he just leaves around his box of pimple patches lying somewhere and you dOn’t scold him for that and you know what

maybe you’ll stick some to your face you deserve it ok

it’s affirmative that you’re rEALLY shocked to how yoongi explained all this to you effortlessly

“i bought them because it was a buy one take one deal :((“

that’s all he could hear from you as you mumble under your breath because now you’re just speechless

wow

your roommate cares about you,,,,

MIN YOONGI CARES ABOUT YOU :D

care may be a little bit of a reach from observing but it’s okay you dOn’t care lol they’re probably synonyms anyway

there’s good days!!!

those are probably your happiest days when yoongi initiates a conversation with you that doesn’t involve him intentionally pissing you off

or when you can make him laugh and he looks like the most adorable being EVER you swear

you tried taking pictures of him but he has a radar for it and he immediately holds out his hand to reach out for your phone and effectively cover him

that’s all you have

pictures with yoongi’s hand on focus and him blurred in the background

adjusting to yoongi’s rhythm always varies because well he dOes vary

there’s days when he completely deadpans at you for no apparent reason at all

or when you just need someone to squeal with!!

like that time you got the highest score at an exam that was claimed to be difficult and you were jumping up and down while trying to shake up yoongi

and he looked annoyed for some reason and him not sharing your sentiment,, probably even hating it,, already put a dampener in your mood :((

or that time you went on an angry monologue of why he won’t contribute to doing the chores and how you do everything

from sweeping the floors and doing the dishes and taking out the trash and even cooking!!!

you even fold the clothes and you can’t even remember how yoongi managed to convince you to fold his clothes too

with that he just pursed his lips before putting his attention back to his phone

“no.”

unbeknownst to you though, yoongi does his share of chores more evidently this time around

most times he just does his part when you’re in your room and lately he’s been slacking

ok i’ll help you out i guess ://

sometimes you just want to do nice things for yoongi okay

there’s already a set routine that you follow and adapated to for his sake

you now wake up at four in the morning for hIM and that just depends if he’d wake up within the next thirty minutes

the first actual “friend” unlike roommate intercation you had was yoongi telling you to go knock on his door early in the morning

absolutely dON’T stop knocking until he wakes up and opens the door

sure his four in the morning compared to you staying in is a much much mUch earlier time

but it’s okay because it’s for yoongi! :D

the first time you did that? yoongi raised his voice at you because wHY ARE YOU KNOCKING ON MY DOOR???

“b-but you told me to!!”

“oh. right. thanks.”

lmao he kinda simmered down after that and you took this job to heart

you have now evolved into cooking breakfast BEFORE knocking on his door

you just care for yoongi perhaps

but you won’t delve into elaborating that just yet

today’s breakfast was waffles!!

but they’re special waffles of course!! kinda like a s’mores situation in between the two

little marshmallows that you put in your ice cream and in your drinks and within two seconds they shrivel up into nothingness

crushed biscuits that resemble graham and maybe it would be easier if you just buy graham crackers itself lol

of cOurse some chocolate chips!!

they’re leftovers from when you decided to buy a big bag of them

and yoongi asked you on wHy the hell did you buy these in this huge quantity

“i’ll melt them because i aLSO got those silicone molds on sale!! including the stars and the seashells!!”

“you do know that these are solid... and you’ll melt them into liquid... only for them to be in the same way you bought them in..... just in a different shape....”

“oh my gOd yoongi just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting!! fine then, i’ll split these with jimin instead”

“did you even ask if i wanted them in the first place???”

anyways besides those waffles lol

you also made dalgona :D instead of yoongi’s preferred dark black coffee :D

you tasted his one time and it tasted like death and liver and charcoal all at the same time

this is a GOOD morning okay??

last night you couldn’t sleep that well because you had a thought

a really, intricate, awe-forming thought

there’s such a thing called work husbands, right??

do apartment husbands exist

lol of course if your husband does live in the same apartment as you do

you’re probably making a reach and yoongi doesn’t care about you in the same way that you do for him

but it just makes you think :((

these things that you’re doing, with and for him....

they’re things that you do with your boyfriend ya know

you’re essentially a couple if you think about it further

you’re under the same roof and you do things together and well

the only thing missing is the aCTUAL commitment itself

this was why it’s a good morning

jimin, your friend that’s just down at the end of the hall, managed to convince you to try and hINT atleast that you like yoongi

to be clear

you’ve only known jimin for three weeks and you feel like you’ve done much more progress with him than you ever did with yoongi for five months

it was when he asked you for your notes and you told him that lol you had nONE and the both of you just laughed for like five minutes straight

yoongi still won’t buy that story no matter how much you tell him that it’s true

with his hunch he thinks you’re actually fuck buddies with jimin because you’ve been sneaking off at night right when he closes his door and tHAT’S when you go to jimin’s room

to be also clear

ok yes you might like yoongi

perhaps a whole ton as what you decide because he’s been effectively plaguing your mind and your senses

and the oNLY reason you’ve been going to jimin’s is to talk to him and freak out on what you should do

because you know that yoongi is a sensible person and if u give him even the slightesy whiff of a hint that you like him, he’ll catch on instantly!!!

at the same time it’s like.... so be it....

yeah if yoongi doesn’t return your feelings then you’ll completely understand

things would be awkward for awhile aha

and if yoongi decides to move out because of you? no problem yOU’RE the one who’s gonna move out and let yoongi keep the apartment

jimin’s roommate is leaving soon anyway

see? you’re already equipped for rejection!!!!

aha that’s not necessarily a bad thing but it IS a heartbreaking concept

but here you are

so whipped to the point that you might just cave and put everything in a tray so you could set it on yoongi’s bed

that does seem to be the case because you’re knocking and knocking and he wON’T answer

this is an important day for him anyways because he gets his evaluation today!! and you can’t have him late and hungry and sad now can you

“yOONGI ARE YOU-“

“god, why do you have to be so loud??”

“i told you-“

wait a second

that voice doesn’t belong to yoongi

and the person in front of you, most certainly, isn’t yoongi.

oh that’s nice

she’s wearing yoongi’s shirt from the night before

you don’t recall someone else being in your apartment because after all, you and yoongi are the only roommates

and that yoongi doesn’t even have any visitors

it takes a second for you to connect the dots at hand

it’s okay :)

it’s cool!

this way you’re already heartbroken without prolonging it and bringing it upon yourself

it was bound to happen anyway

yoongi was more than a handsome and skilled and capable man and someone like him wouldn’t stay single for perhaps forever

“o-oh, sorry. uhm help yourself to breakfast, or uhm go back to bed, i guess. if you could just, w-wake up yoongs? i think he has something important at work today, oR well atleast he told me so.”

holy fuck

that was a mess

you’re a mess

there’s no need for confrontation or researching or anything like that because there is absolutely no reason for it lol

you’re a mere roommate to yoongi and you’re just acting like it.

he finds you weird these days

you’re not... bothering him

you’re not trying to linger around or pester him with your usual presence

you only come out when you’re going out for class or for work or for something else he can’t even imagine

which was weird

because yoongi oddly enough misses the white noise you provide

he knocked at your door yesterday and he wasn’t really sure on what to say so he panicked and said “aren’t you supposed to vacuum today?”

which is actually true!!!!

you just got the vacuum and your..,., earphones???

and put them in????

wait shouldn’t this be the time that you try to talk over the vacuum and ineffectively yell as you try to make conversation with him???

this time you’re just silent and probably enjoying the music that’s playing and yoongi couldn’t be anymore confused

he goes to his room when you vacuum but this time he stayed just because he wanted to test the waters ok

he didn’t put his feet up so you could vacuum underneath

he just got one tap on his calf and he wordlessly complies aND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY HE DID IT SO EASILY

he was supposed to bicker with you :(((

did he... do something??

well he didn’t forget to take the trash out and made sure not to flood the showers this time

fuck it fine that’s IT

he even cooked dinner tonight and he knocked at your door and those are two rare occurrences in the sAME sentence

“y/n, don’t make me regret doing this.”

that’s an empty threat ok he really just wanted to cook for himself and coincidentially made enough for another portion for you

or atleast that’s what he convinces himself

yoongi reaches the end of his wick and he’s about to look for one of your hairpins and pick at your lock

one thing he hasn’t taken into account is that oh,,, your door’s open

there wasn’t really a reaction when your door creaks but there is one but it’s from hIM

because you’re bundled in your comforter and you look different and that’s when he presses his hand to your forehead and you’re tOO HOT

“why didn’t you tell me that you have a fever??”

there’s no room for him to enunciate him being upset because he’s worriedly getting you things to nurse you back to health ok

there’s the wet towels and the water and the medicine!!!

there’s him checking underneath your comforter and you dOn’t have any socks on so he’s getting that alright

yoongi’s third most-prized possession probably is his gravity blanket he spent a pretty penny on and here he is,,, carrying it over to you so you’d be more comfortable — the food he just made you but maybe he should make some soup for you to easily digest

yoongi just felt pure panic seeing you like this ok

you running a fever and being the complete opposite of bubbly but won’t take shit atleAst 5/7 times from him and would argue with him to hell and back

were you starting to get sick the days before so that’s why you were distant??

or was it the other way around

there’s this utmost feeling of concern looming in yoongi’s chest and he even tried clutching at his chest because what iS this

he almost forgot that you’re sleeping and that you barely talked to him at all despite helping you out of his own accord

“you’re here but you’re not yOu!!!”

god he’s just so frustrated because he isn’t used to this and frankly he’ll never be

yoongi’s chewing on his inner cheek and he knits his brows trying to figure wHAT happened, his index finger poking and tracing at your hand that’s laid snugly on your pillow

“you’re already here but why do i keep missing you?”

#wHAT DO YOU THINK??? who was that girl in yoongi’s shirt??? sHOULD THIS BE A FIC TELL ME UR FEEDBACK PLS #yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi imagine #yoongi imagines #yoongi drabble #yoongi drabbles #yoongi oneshot #yoongi oneshots #yoongi angst #yoongi angst imagine #yoongi angst imagines #yoongi fluff #yoongi fluff imagine #yoongi fluff imagines #suga #suga imagine #bts yoongi imagine #yoongi fic rec #yoongi fic recs #bts masterlist #roomie!yoongi #requested drabbles

[ahqueenoh]

A Very (Unhealthy) Vegan Affair,

We all know the damage we have caused to planet earth, and I mean it when I say that the easiest thing we can all do is reduce our meat and dairy consumption, something I started doing late last year and intend to maintain.

Where I can (and whenever I can) I eat vegetarian and vegan meals, at home my kitchen does not carry any animal based products and I was surprised at how easy it was to swap my favourites (here’s to you yogurt!) for vegan alternatives.

Sometimes it’s not about being perfect, as a society we do not need four people leading a perfect zero waste Vegan lifestyle. We need everyone doing their best to make better decisions and we live in an age where it is so much easier to make plant based choices.

If you’re a vegan, vegetarian or just plan curious, here are some of my favourite places to eat as the world’s worst vegan:

Kalifornia Kitchen

Another Instagram find, hidden in a side street just off of Tottenham Court Road this pink gem is home to the best vegan burgers I have had the pleasure to consume.

The staff are unbelievably friendly and the Panko Chikken Burger was the closest I have come to tasting real chicken in months, the burger was moist the bun maintained its structural integrity throughout (which seems inconsequential, but there’s nothing worse then being on a date and taking a bite of your burger and everything falls apart).

Now the chips (fries)! These could have a blog post of their own, think Five Guys spicy chips without the burning sensation, these chips had exactly the right level of spice, crispness and mouth watering moisture. I savoured every bite and tried to pinch my dinner guests, who valiantly defended their right to their own chips and only let me pilfer one.

Overall a delightful evening with wonderful company (and my instagram looks better for it!) but I would skip desert if I was you, Kalifornia Kitchen is all about healthy plant based food so their deserts leave much to be desired for my sweet tooth.

Address

19 Percy Street, Bloomsbury, London, W1T 1DY

Temple of Seitan

As an East London resident I have the joy of having a Temple of Seitan in Hackney (yes you’re reading that correctly). Designed in the style of the classic English chip shop there is something quite devilish about treating yourself to fried Chick’n. My guest and I went after we had both had an extremely long day at work, we ordered enough food to feed the five thousand and sat in a corner and stuffed ourselves silly. There is something so comforting and welcoming about the classic British chip shop, a rare moment in society where the class divide means nothing and both barrister and barman queue together for their daily dose of grease, something that The Temple of Seitan gets so spot on that you don’t have to feel sad about giving anything up in your quest to be more ethical.

Plus the food feels less heavy and fatty then an actual British chip shop, which leaves you wanting more, exactly as the devil intended I’m sure.

*For those of you not in the know, Seitan is wheat gluten which is often used as a meat substitute because of its excellent ability to absorbed flavour and maintain a “meat” texture, however is not celiac friendly.

Address

Temple of Hackney

5 Morning Lane, Hackney, London, E9 6NA

Temple of Camden

43 Parkway, Camden, London, NW1 7PN

Dirty Vegan

During my Vegan initiation I think I missed the class on Vegan related puns, nonetheless if you really are in need of a McDonald’s or Burger King style junk food meal, look no further then Dirty Vegan.

I personally enjoyed a Bare Back Three Way, yes that is genuinely the name of the bonkers burger I ate.

But the real star of the show were the sides. Two things I find myself missing is bacon and fried chicken. Dirty Vegan offered fried BBQ Jackfruit (an excellent substitute for chicken and pulled pork) and bacon cheese fries, both sides I gobbled with a child like grin on my face, for the first time on my (worlds worst) Vegan journey I found I couldn’t tell if I was eating meat or not.

The BBQ Jackfruit felt rich and fatty like meat and fell apart in my mouth, the BBQ sauce was perfection, tangy and sweet and made my taste buds dance! A bit of Jackfruit followed by the Bacon Cheese Fries made my heart sing (and my doctor cry) as the rich “cheese”, crisp “bacon” (I am genuinely curious what it was substituted for!) and gorgeous fries filled my belly with love and happiness.

My guest and I ordered this meal to be delivered on New Years Eve and I can’t think of a better way to kick off the new decade then fine food and fabulous company!

At the time of ordering (and eating) Dirty Vegan had a pop-up in Shoreditch, I don’t think that is there anymore however their main base is:

The Balcony, Westfield (Whitecity), Shepard’s Bush, London, W12 7GE

Fortnum and Mason

Every so often a family member (or two) fancy going for a lavish afternoon tea for their birthday. This year it was to F&M, I went with the intention to avoid meat but I was pleasantly surprised, when I asked for a milk alternative, that I was also brought a vegan menu.

I was even more surprised, when I ordered the Vegan Afternoon Tea, that it was so delicious and heavenly, I ordered more sandwiches. The sandwiches, cakes and even the tea where extremely decadent and rich (far from healthy) but oh so gorgeous!

F&M has an expensive tea room, but one way that they go above and beyond (and many other tea rooms could learn from them) is they offer free plate refills. This afternoon tea experience was by far the best I have had in London and was certainly the only place that I have felt the price matched the experience. Definitely a must do if you’re in London and fancy a spot of tea.

Address

Fortnum and Mason, 181 Piccadilly, St Jame’s, London W1A 1ER

National Theatre Terrace Restaurant and Bar

Next time you’re seeing a show at London’s iconic theatre, look no further then the Terrace Restaurant. A Spanish tapas style of food, it is recommended that you order three to four plates to equal a standard main, their menu is more vegetarian heavy then vegan however there was enough options for me to order the recommended amount.

The plates were absolute works of art and the food… interesting, I did enjoy my meal however I found many of the dishes dominated by one or two flavours which became boring and bland the more I munched. One such example was the aubergine mousse, deep charcoal in colour, whipped to perfection yet boring in comparison to the artichoke and cashew stuffed mushrooms. However, where the Terrance restaurant triumphed was its dessert. I treated myself to an old favourite of mine, rice pudding. The terrace put quite the modern spin on the stodgy British classic (and at the time I wasn’t sure how I felt about it) by creating rice pudding balls in a passion fruit syrup, and despite my original reservations, it was gorgeous!

Address

National Theatre, South Bank, Bishop’s, London SE1 9PX

Nopi

Last, but most certainly not least, Nopi is part of a small chain of restaurants in London. Their menu has very few vegan options, but enough to make the meal enjoyable.

I have been to Nopi before and it is certainly pricey, but the friendly staff and fiendishly good Gnocci justifies the price.

They also make the most fabulous vegan chocolate chip cookies with Almond Milk, the milk is made in house and is creamier then any shop bought nut milk. The cookies ooze with rich chocolate, while still maintaining the crunch and doughy texture one desires in ones biscuit.

If I ever feel the need for a childhood comfort that equals its (non-Vegan) original, I am on the first tube to Oxford Circus.

Address

21-22 Warwick Street, Soho, London, W1B 5NE

#london #vegan #burgerqueenblog #worldsworstvegan #dirtyvegan #nopi #kaliforniakitchen #fortnumandmason #nationaltheatreterrace #terracerestaurant

[heads-in-the-clouds-spacecadet]

When asked to write a daily diary for anxiety management.

Here are a few days example....

Sunday 24th 

Mood/anxiety = numb. 

Additional meds =8mg of diazipam.

My whole body aches yet it shouldn't. My stomach is growling yet i feel physically sick. 

Things i ask myself....

Q.1 Will i leave my safe space, weighted blanket & mountain of pillows?

A.1 NO. 

Q.2 Will i manage my yoga routine

A.2 NO

Reasons....Why

I feel exhausted even though ive not been outside since Thursday. I just want the aching to subside the pain to leave. My jaw is clenched closed making eating an ordeal. I know this needs to be done. 

The dread of what passive aggressive message/s ill receive today either in person or written either way im struggling to motivate myself to move.

The Internet has been blocked for nearly a wk now. But i just let it slide as the saying goes choose your arguements "wifi is not the hill i want to die on" quote from TBBT. I hear Luke (my brother) is now in his bedroom and his door is closed. He has been banging around the house sending passive aggressive messages (sms) since 4am. My belongings that i left downstairs were thrown into my room. I'm nervous to leave my room till i know he is asleep. 

Flashback/negative thoughts....

1. How can my baby brother be an emotional manipulator. 

2. Last time i had to justify my everymove i was in Portugal in a very bad relationship. 

*****Ways im looking to excuse his behaviour. Find the cause to my sudden crash of low mood aka depression with a nice battle of anxiety.

---Logically i know its not the same. 

---Emotionally it hurts the same. 

The way he looks at me with disgust, resentment & impatience is the trigger. I realise this. How someone you love can make you feel this way. 

Solution: i decide to find a solution to the sudden conflict of money and i know there is a receipt in the car. I go to the normal place the keys are kept and theyre no where to be found. I look in all the obvious logical places they  could be and realise theyre hidden by my loving brother. His Reasons, 1-to stop me  buying shit (his words). 2. He has decided its his house, his car so therefore his rules. (Its all my mums btw)

As im downstairs i notice the kitchen is a mess. Pots all over from a feast Luke cooked up the night before. Or should i say 2am. 

So i feel defeated. Ive basically been cleaning non stop everytime i use a room as per gov guidelines and he just doesnt seem to comprehend the severity of the situation. 

I decide i need to eat. So i opt for Shreddies with Oat Milk (Luke has a serious milk allergy to the milk proteins in cows milk so im not fussed about milk and am happy to use alternatives) topped with vanilla soya yogurt, bannana, a few cranberries, 3 strawberries, sultanas and crushed Almonds. My logical brain is telling me eat well as we are not leaving the bedroom again unless desperate. 

I send a few messages to the family whats app (Luke refuses to be a part of this) and receive encouraging and support in return. Everyone is struggling in their own way so i appreciate having a small outlet between us all.

After food i sleep finally. 

Trying now to Ready myself for round 2 which i know is coming.

My mum calls i dont want to answer but i do. I explain the situation. She knows, she has dealt with his angry behaviour since he was 11yrs old. She stated she is coming to visit Tuesday as per new gov guidelines and we will meet in the park. She then asks me to pass the phone to Luke which i pointblank refuse. Im not ready for round 2 yet. Especially since he has his own phone he is just not answering making everyone worry about him but he just resents it. Its safe to say im proud i refused to do something. Gold star award ⭐

Monday 25th

Mood/Anxiety -  still no change from yesterday but i decide i have to force myself to move. Wash, clean and pack the additional things my mum has requested. 

Additional meds - i decided against taking anything today as i need to be clear headed for my appointment Tues and obvs my mums visit.

I check the weather see its a nice day decide washing is task 1. I set a bath running (multi tasking saving time from all the free time) and head downstairs to pop the washing machine on. Before i left my room i checked my phone for messages i have one from my mum telling me she has had words with Luke and that he needs to basically deal with the resentment in a more positive way. 

This explains all the banging and loud music yesterday early eve. He decided to actually clean. 

Anyhow I head downstairs. Kitchen is clean, messages all wiped from the black board. 

I decide i must try and communicate with Luke as we cant take the conflict with us to the park it isnt fair to our mum. 

I can hear him moving so send a sms message asking if he wants anything in the oven. No response. ***He did finally get out of bed at 3pm so a peaceful day so far. 

I decide food is required. I opt for protein soya burgers x2 with Spinach, tomatos, avacado, sultanas, almond pieces and some crumpets. I sit in the garden to eat.

All washing is out and drying but im to anxiety ridden and unmotivated to enjoy the sunshine. 

I head back to my room to sort bits for my mum and throw away my origami collection. It was over taking my room and again causing conflict. 

Lukes awake!!!. I decide to say hello. So far so good. He decides to make himself lunch and throws a fit because i ate a £0.45 avocado. I walk away as i know he is just venting and i need to not start the circle of negative thoughts or interactions. This is rewarded with resentment. Luke suddenly decides to do his own washing and cut the grass. Which means my washing is in his way. Before he even starts i am pulling in whats dry mainly because i want to go back to bed and need my bedsheets but also because he wont care if my washing turns green or is damaged. To my delight my sheets are dry but my pjs etc need another 30mins so i leave them whilst i go and make my bed. 

Im bellowed at about washing as Luke needs the line. So i head down stairs to reteive the rest of my belongings. 

Self soothing thoughts...

Im walking on eggshells trying not to provoke the beast and i need to keep going. Focus on my achievements. I left my room. I cleaned myself, my clothing and my pillow fort which has been my safe zone for the past 4days. 

Deep down thought i am disappointed as i know isolation and distancing is not a long turn solution as the yrs pass im becoming more and more isolated and lonely. 

Im downstairs again and i ask Luke if he wants anything popping in the oven as i was having toast. He requested 2 burgers and chips but on seperate trays as he was hungry. Easy to do popped into the oven. 40mins later chips are cooked he is plating up and all he says is "why have you cooked so many chips, clearly we now live in a household of wastefulness". 

This was the turning point for me id had enough for 1day and just told him to give it a rest and went to my room. 

Im dozing with Big Bang on in the backround and Luke is banging on my door. Mums on the phone. Confirming arrangements for tomorrow. I say a few oks with the occasional nod. 

I start packing the bits n bobs my mum has asked for and carry then downstairs so theyre ready for the car tomorrow am. 

Its PJs and bed time. Luke has other ideas. He is awake and up and about at 4.30am. Having a bath at 5am, doing weights after his bath at 6am then leaves in the car at 7am. He is back around 8am banging has a shower then decides to leave again in the car. He is meant to be house-bound until July 1st. This in itself causes me anxiety as i cant handle watching another member of my family die in front of my eyes. 

Thoughts...

Yes this is VERY dramatic. STOP IT BRAIN!

Take precautions all will be ok. 

Tuesday 26th

Mood/Anxiety = No change 

Additional meds = 4mg diazipam but late afternoon as i couldnt stop shaking and fidgeting.

My mum is coming to visit. Im trying not to think about the fact Luke is out of the house. 

We are having a picnic social distancing style. 

We head to the coop as Luke has decided even after knowing our mum all his life never be on time, we have to be early. I buy Costa coffee, fresh bread, hummus, bananas, diet coke and some biscuits the nature valley ones theyre really good. Luke doesnt go into the shop I think at least he is listening to some rules. He rolls his eyes as i spray the shopping with dettol spray and use the alcohol hand sanitizer for my hands and door handle etc. I just tell him its how it needs to be done.

We find a perfect parking spot under a bunch of trees. I notice that all the trees are trimmed in a very even shelf across the bottom. It looked like it was designed perfectly for people to walk straight onto the park from the car park without having to fight with tree branches or go around.  But in actual fact its the deer. They eat the lower leaves this made me smile and relax for a moment. WIN.

My mum is late so im nervous that she is 

1. Stuck somewhere (over reaction)

2. Lost (over reaction)

3. Just running late (normal reaction) 

Im a tad fidgety as im aware i have an appointment in 2hrs. Hurry up MOTHER...

I ponder about work and whether or not ill still have a job to return too. Had an email this am stating theyre cutting 200jobs from the team i work in. So not sure if thats a good thing or not. But its also increasing my anxiety as ive read the email and now have a burning desire to do the research to see what my probability of keeping my job will be. Before my brain can go on a major tangent my mum arrives. 

Shes brought Oscar (her poodle) he is so excited to see me. And the big hairy fluff ball  gave me the biggest snuggles. He has a major Covid hairdoo. My mum doesnt hug me which hurts but i know she cant. 

Picnic time. We sit in the middle.of a field away from everyone. Social distancing 10/10. My mum has made me my favourite cakes, rock buns. (Apparently these are a northern thing) but im feeling the love. Its fairly chilled only 1 disagreement with Luke over blinkin avocados.

Im clock checking and aware of impending appointment, im a little (understated) nervous because ive not had positive relationships with therapists or doctors in the past. 

#mental health #lost #hurting #help #self reflection #finelinebetweenloveandhate #still breathing #GAD #recovery #survivor

[mensbodybuildingtips]

The Right Whey: Tips And Recipes To Shake Up The Way You Use Protein

Water and healthy protein ... Protein as well as water. No matter exactly how you mix it, the combination is simply ordinary stagnant. So when was the last time you made a protein shake with anything however water, whey, and a shaker cup?

We thought so.

The irony of all this is triggered by the truth that whey protein solutions go to their advanced best. Yet, despite protein being at its absolute finest in taste, in bioavailability and in easily blended solutions, exactly how numerous of us still stand at the kitchen sink, fill up a cup up with semi-cold water, dump an inside story of healthy protein in, and shake, after that almost plug our noses as we down it?

At this factor, you're possibly objecting, assuming "I get on a diet - exactly what else should I mix with my healthy protein?" There is some truth to that - specifically if you have a total healthy protein that has a great fat resource included, as well as no sugar, however a pleasant preference. Formulas vary so considerably, it is possible you have a protein you actually like that in fact tastes good.

Whey Protein: Diets vs. Mass

Line up 10 leading brand proteins and also you might locate extremely various dietary assays on each label. Some will differ in whey type, while others contain greater than just whey, such as casein or soy, or vary in the sweetener or flavor utilized to earn the formula palatable.

Each will certainly also include a different macronutrient break down - with more or much less carbs or fats, and a broad swing in the variety of healthy protein grams. Add to that the number of tastes in each brand, as well as the fat resource in each brand name. Some proteins will feature a beneficial medium-chain triglyceride (MCT) such as coconut milk or oil, and others will simply mix in whatever emulsifying fat is cheapest.

Sweeteners also differ widely, and also could consist of every little thing from ordinary old sugar to corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, Splenda, Nutrasweet, or the even more all-natural and also healthy Stevia.

Give or take components, of those 10 healthy proteins, you can most likely separate them right into 2 classifications: Those fit to mass-building as well as those to dieting.

Typically, healthy proteins that attend to diet programs will showcase 25 to 35 grams of protein, no to 10 grams of carbs, and absolutely no to 12 or 15 grams of fat. Those fit to mass gains will include anywhere from 30 to 40 grams of protein, 15 to 40 grams of carbohydrates, and 5 to 20 grams of fat.

The excellent aspect of having such variance in proteins is that you can prefer to either use a protein on its own as a dish substitute during a diet plan, or as a meal replacement throughout a mass cycle, without having to add other foods.

But we think that if you locate a healthy protein you such as - and that's normally driven by components, high quality and preference - we assume you're going to persevere. So how does one adapt his/her preferred protein to be a year-round formula, as well as what criteria should own that choice?

Choosing a healthy protein that is formulated for diet plan, versus mass, has its benefits due to the fact that you could constantly contribute to the formula using a shake - you can not remove ingredients.

Shakes that claim to be meal substitutes or are mass-monster owned do not constantly have the most effective top quality ingredients either. They are usually rife with fillers that are not healthy and also can trigger fat storage space in the off season.

We assume it's far better to earn your own.

We are frequently asked: What does it cost? healthy protein do I require in a day in order to fulfill my objectives? We such as to take the center of the roadway as well as have you include or subtract from there. Whether you're dieting or intending to get mass, right here's a good guide that you could customize:

Daily Intake Based on 1 to 1.5 grams of Healthy protein per Extra pound of Bodyweight

Bodyweight

Grams of Protein Required

125 extra pounds = 125 to 188 grams of protein

150 pounds = 150 to 225 grams of protein

175 extra pounds = 175 to 263 grams of protein

200 extra pounds = 200 to 300 grams of protein

250 extra pounds = 250 to 375 grams of protein

Another method to take a look at protein requirements in the diet is by portions of calories allotted:

Daily Calorie Requirements/ Percent of Protein (20-40%)

1500 calories = 75 to 150 grams of protein

2000 calories = 100 to 200 grams of protein

2500 calories = 125 to 250 grams of protein

3000 calories = 150 to 300 grams of protein

3500 calories = 175 to 350 grams of protein

4000 calories = 200 to 400 grams of protein

5000 calories = 250 to 500 grams of protein

The biggest reason a bodybuilder cannot gain weight in the off season, or fails to keep it during a diet, might be that they does not take in adequate healthy protein. Yet the various other factor may be lack of strategy behind times a protein shake is blended as well as ingested.

Here's a good rule of thumb:

BEST TIMES TO HAVE A PROTEIN SHAKE

First thing in the morning - Complying with a fasting state you'll place yourself right into favorable nitrogen equilibrium immediately.

Between meals - Make these easy trembles that simply fill up the void and also maintain you in positive nitrogen balance.

Pre- and Post-Workout - Protein shakes before as well as after exercises can be loaded with included nutrients to sustain workout as well as healing: Creatine and also Nitric Oxide for pumps as well as power, as well as Glutamine and BCAAs for recovery.

Evening - If you're diet programs, yet do not wish to comply with the 'Don't consume after 6 p.m. rule' have a healthy protein shake or more (one with couple of carbs as well as reduced fats) to optimize nitrogen balance during sleep as well as maintain the metabolic rate burning.

Think you know a lot about whey healthy protein? Right here are some facts in order to help you utilize it

WHEY WISDOM FOR BOTH GAINER and LOSER

WW1: Throughout mass cycles, you can enhance protein uptake with fast-digesting carbs, such as waxy maze or add your own to shakes that contain hardly any carbohydrate.

WW2: The very best weight gainer shake has a carb-to-protein proportion of 2:1. No commercial blends around actually attribute that - always placing even more protein in the mix than carbs. Make your very own with this ratio in mind.

WW3: If you are adding added fat to a blender shake for mass-building, add great fats, such as Omega-3s: walnuts or walnut oil, peanut butter and flax seeds as well as flax seed oil.

WW4: A suitable diet plan must have an Omega-3-to-Omega-6 ratio of 2:1. To include even more Omega-3 foods to your mixer drinks - without the fat - add foods such as spinach, watercress, kale, mint and also oatmeal. Mint leaves make a fantastic enhancement to any chocolate shake.

WW5: Whether building mass or dieting, maximize your post-workout shakes by adding recovery aids, such as glutamine, arginine, waxy maize, beta-alanine, and branched-chain amino acids (BCAAs), along with additional vitamins An as well as C, and trace element, such as potassium.

WW6: The difference in between Whey Isolate as well as Whey Concentrate: Separate expenses much more as well as has a higher bioavailability rating of 98 percent, and nearly no lactose. Concentrate has lactose, has a reduced BV rating of 80 percent, as well as is less costly. For weight gainers, a whey concentrate could be the best option since it's greater in calories.

WW7: In spite of hearing that it's always much better to consume "entire foods" supplementing with whey healthy protein is hassle-free, requires no refrigeration, is much easier on the stomach and less dental filling, has a greater BV compared to a lot of foods, as well as is strengthened with vitamins you may not get eating just entire foods.

Tips for Easy Mixing:

All proteins advertise that they are conveniently combined, however exactly how numerous lump cost-free trembles have you had in the last 10 years? Because it's always a lot much more tasty to consume alcohol a shake that has been blended to a smooth uniformity, here are some suggestions in order to help:

Use a blender or food processor or glass and mix - don't utilize a shaker cup. No blender? Combine with a fork, not a spoon, or little mini-whisk

Add protein as well as water right into the glass a little each time. Fifty percent an inside story of protein mixes much better with 2 to 4 ounces of water.

Let it rest for a couple of mins before alcohol consumption, after that blend again.

WHEY SHAKE ADDITIONS and RECIPES

The possibilities are limitless for drinks as well as much of exactly what you can mix in relies on your very own taste as well as just how versed you remain in just what food mixes produce desirable preference. However mixing whey protein trembles ought to also be a calculated means to obtain specifically just what you need at any type of offered time throughout your day.

Foods You Can Mix Into Shakes:

Milk

Cream or half-and-half

Fruit (iced up for added density, or fresh)

Fruit juice

Coconut water

Brewed coffee (or granules for taste and also pick-me-up)

Nuts and nut butters (peanut, almond, walnut)

MCT oils (coconut oil, coconut milk, or Cap-Tri)

Cereal (Kashi, grapenuts, oatmeal)

Greek yogurt

Ice cream or frozen yogurt

Pasteurized egg whites

Pudding and dessert mix

Extracts (almond, vanilla, mint)

Spices (cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg)

You can also mix protein, thinned down with water, right into points like pancake and also mashed potato mixes to lend a higher healthy protein value to your carbohydrates.

Dieter Shakes:

Coconut Chocolate Mint Shake:

1 scoop of vanilla whey protein

1 small container of coconut water (not milk)

1 teaspoon Dutch process cocoa

3 or 4 mint leaves or mint extract

1/2 packet of Stevia

Chai Tea shake

Whey protein

Sugar-free Chai mix

4 tablespoons Non-fat Greek yogurt

Water

Weight Gainer Shakes

Maple-bacon-nut butter B-Fast Shake (Like a bacon-maple syrup pancake breakfast)

Unflavored or vanilla whey protein

Cooked crisp bacon, (ground into dirt in mixer)

2 tbsps maple syrup or 1 tbsp maple extract

1/ 2 cup raw oatmeal (ground in advance into dirt)

Pasteurized egg whites or whole eggs

1 tablespoon peanut or almond butter - or 2 tablespoons walnut oil

Whole milk

Berry-ana Peanut Butter Shake

Vanilla whey protein

1 Banana

5 frozen strawberries

1/3 cup heavy cream

Pasteurized egg whites

1/4 cup oatmeal

3 tablespoons peanut butter

#building muscle #weight #workout

[ladysophiebeckett]

a loophole

Santa Clarita Diet\The Good Place Crossover AU

(spoilers for both shows) 

for you my love, @ssaalexblake​ . happy birthday. I apologize for it being so late. And not making an edit for this.  also this is dialogue only. so, again, I’m sorry. pls enjoy

Summary: The Good Place fights for Joel and Sheila Hammond.

Joel: ‘Everything is Fine’? Everything is not fine. I’m dead. My wife is dead. We’re dead. We’re real dead! Like, for real dead!

Shelia: Joel, calm down. I’m sure this Judge—this very fair and might I add stunning—Judge, will explain everything.

Gen: Ya Dead.

Joel: Oh my god.

Sheila: I can’t die!

Joel: We can’t die!

Sheila: We don’t die!

Joel: We’re realators!

Gen: You know you lose points every time you mispronounce that.

Joel: FORK!

Shelia: Points?

 *****

Joel: So you can make anything appear?

Janet: Yes. Except people who are currently alive. I also cannot ‘make’ people. I already did that and my Void cannot go through that again.

Joel: Right, my Void can’t do that either.

Janet: You don’t have a Void. You are not a Janet. You are a Joel.

Joel: …Right. I’m a Joel. Huh. That feels oddly reassuring.

Janet: I’m here to help.

Joel: Thank you, Janet and if it is at all possible, I would like to request a quart of ice cream—

Janet: I physically cannot do that.

Joel: But—

Janet: I can give you frozen yogurt in any flavor. We have all of them.

Joel: I’ll have another shrimp cocktail.

Janet: Of course.

 ********

Shelia: So this is your house?

Eleanor: Yup. ‘Icelandic Primitive’.

Shelia: That’s your essence?

Eleanor: Um, no. I mean, yes. Now. What? You don’t think I can be Icelandic Primitive?

Shelia: I didn’t say that. I just don’t think it captures you.

Eleanor: You’re not a real estate agent anymore—

Shelia: Rea-Hm. Realtor.

Eleanor: Still can’t pronounce it huh?

Shelia: It’s a surprisingly hard word.

Eleanor: Real-tor. Real-TOR. Realator. Oh.

Shelia: See?

 *******

Shelia: Is it just me or does everything feel a little bit off?

Joel: You feel it too? It was the shrimp wasn’t it?

Shelia: Yes!

Joel: They said they were jumbo but they were medium at best. God, I miss writing yelp reviews. I would give ‘The Good Plates’ 3 stars.

Shelia: 3 stars? That’s a little harsh. You weren’t nearly as hard on Japopos and their clams literally killed me.

Joel: It’s the taste. It’s off. Like they’re using lemon instead of lime. They’re both part of citrus family but their taste is very distinct.

Shelia: …Right. That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s off. This is supposed to be paradise.

Joel: It is. Sort of. Except no ice cream. We can’t curse. We live in this house—which is not our essence at all.

Shelia: I thought this house was your essence?

Joel: Why would my essence be a Spanish Colonial? Yeah I want to spend eternity in a Chris and Christa Knock Off Home. I’d rather die again.

Sheila: Oh my god.

Joel: Shelia, we’re already dead, again. It’s not offensive.

Sheila: Joel.

Joel: Sheila.

Sheila: The Spanish Colonial isn’t my essence either.

Joel: But I thought---

Sheila: No. I’d rather spend eternity in—

Joel: Our starter home.

Shelia: This isn’t The Good Place.

 *******

Eleanor: Let me get this straight—this couple from Santa Clarita dies. They’re zombies—

Sheila: The term is ‘Undead’.

Joel: We don’t like the ‘Z’ word.

Eleanor: ---You pop into Earth for 5 seconds and in those 5 seconds you see these, Undead people, and you feel bad for them? So instead of being impartial, you hide them here?

Gen:  It’s complicated.

Eleanor: What about our experiment? This puts it in jeopardy. Somehow—I don’t know how but it does.

Gen: It doesn’t because this is case is different from yours.

Joel: Can someone explain what’s happening?

Eleanor: How is it different? They’re bad people and you’re trying to hide them in a controlled Good Place that’s supposed to help us show that your point system is flawed. That’s unethical. You’re being unethical.

Gen: If Chidi were here--

Eleanor: Don’t bring him up.

Sheila: Who’s Chidi?

Joel: That moral philosophy professor. We met at that welcome party. He couldn’t stop talking about almond milk.

Sheila: Oh. The guy with the stomachaches.

Gen: As I was saying—If Chidi were here—he would understand.

Eleanor: Well he’s not. And I am. So explain your oh so complicated reasoning.

Gen: Joel and Sheila Hammond are good people.

Joel and Sheila: Thank you.

Gen: But they’re also bad people.

Joel and Sheila: Fork.

*****

 Sheila: We’ve been judged on points our entire lives?

Gen: Yes. And when you died the first time your point system paused for approximately 20 seconds. And when you came back your points rebooted. While Joel…

Joel: Lost a lot. Because I’m the reason she died.

Shelia: It wasn’t your fault.

Gen: It was. Every murder you committed had a positive and negative impact.

Eleanor: You’re murderers?!

(Joel and Sheila stare at Eleanor)

Eleanor: Oh wait. I already knew that. Why am I surprised? Oh wait. It’s because you ate your victims. Mr. and Mrs. Hannibal Lecter everybody.

Shelia: I’m sensing judgement.

Joel: We only killed bad people.

Shelia: You’re taking this way worse than Abby ever did and she was only 16 when she saw us bury Gary in the desert.

Eleanor: What the fork? Ugh. I hate the swear wards. It’s a bunch of bullshirt.

Joel: How do you think we forkin’ feel? Abby would hate it here.

Shelia: I know. I miss her.

Joel: Me too.

Eleanor: Who the fork is Abby?

Sheila: Our daughter.

Eleanor: Zombies raising a daughter in suburbia.

Joel: Undead Realators doing our best to provide for our daughter.

 *****

Eleanor: So killing Nazi’s is okay.

Gen: Yes. Nazi’s are terrible people and them getting murdered was a good thing.

Joel: See? We’re good people.

Gen: But the point system gives you an even amount of good people points and bad people points.

Sheila: Because even though they were bad people, the act of murdering—

Joel: --Despite who you are murdering—

Gen: Correct.

Eleanor: …What are their points?

Gen: Are you ready? It’s a doozy.

Joel: But we saw our points when we got here.

Shelia: Unless…those weren’t real.

Gen: Yeah, they’re not. Take a look.

Eleanor: Oh. I wish Chidi were here.

Gen: Told ya.

 *****

 Shelia: Well then. The Solution is simple Gen. Can I call you ‘Gen’. I feel like we’re very familiar now that I see that you hold our afterlives in the palm of your hand.

Gen: You may. ‘Judge Gen’ was only fun for the first millennia.

Eleanor: This isn’t simple at all.

Joel: Yeah it is. Sheila goes to The Good Place—

Sheila: Joel no---

Joel: And I go to The Bad Place. It’s logical. The points are pretty self-explanatory. Which is something I never thought I’d say because I am very bad at math. Remember when I calculated our first commission and I was off by a 1000 dollars?

Sheila: There has to be something---

Eleanor: It’s ONE POINT! Can you just--

Gen: Why do you think I hid them away with you? I was buying time. As a Judge, I have to be impartial but when I saw their case—

Eleanor: You thought that if we could properly prove that bad people could change in the afterlife, it would show that the point system was flawed. But then they died, again, and they were already good people but the point system would separate them. And you were hoping that if our case succeeded it would support their case---

Gen: Yes.

Eleanor: So this whole time you were just hiding them from The Bad Place because if they knew about them they would go to some afterlife trial—like Mindy St. Claire’s case. And they would end up in some Middle Place but still not together.

Gen: Separate Middle Places. Yes.

Sheila: We’re not separating!

Joel: Shelia look at the points! They don’t lie!

Shelia: The points don’t matter! Haven’t you been listening! It’s flawed! Look, I don’t care about The Good Place. Let them take me instead. It’s my fault anyway. I’m the reason you died the first time.

Joel: And I’m the reason you died the first time.

Shelia: I’m the reason you died the second time! If I had been—

Joel: It wasn’t your fault.

Sheila: It was supposed to be date night---

Joel: Sheila, it’s okay. I made a vow that night. Do you remember? I swore to be loyal to you and only you. I promised to protect you, to protect our family—no matter what. No matter the sacrifice. This is me—honoring that.

Sheila: That’s not fair.

Joel: Maybe not, but it’s the right thing to do. I go to The Bad Place. How bad can it be? I used to eat people. And bleed black ooze. Which was gross to me every time. I never got used to that.

Sheila: There is no Good Place for me without you. As corny as this may sound…You are my Good Place.

Joel: And as corny as this may sound, you’re mine.

Eleanor: Fork. Does anybody have a tissue?

Gen: Here’s my sleeve.

*****

 Sheila: Thank you for letting Joel have ice cream one more time.

Gen: It’s the very least I can do. I recommended a burrito but he said no.

Shelia: He loves them, but they make him gassy. I tried to explain that that won’t happen here—

Gen: Oh it will. Trust me.

Sheila: Oh. Hmm. Well, look I’m not gonna pussy foot around it—I can say ‘pussy’? Huh. A loophole. Anyway, no time. I’m not gonna pussy foot around it. Let me take Joel’s place instead.

Gen: I can’t do that. The points—

Shelia: Fork the points. It’s one point. You managed to hide us here with fake points. So just—give him one of mine.

Gen: Do you know how hard it was to even to do that? It’s not easy Sheila. I know I make it look easy—these robes are very misleading. But—

Shelia: I don’t care. Let me take his place.

Gen: I will look into it. But I can’t make any promises.

*****

Joel: Did Sheila talk to you?

Gen: (sighs) Yes.

Joel: Did she ask to take my place instead?

Gen: No.

Joel: Okay, good—

Gen: She demanded it.

Joel: Dam it. Dam? Oh. Dam. Like the beaver or that thing that stores water. A loophole. Did not see that. Anyway, no time. Don’t listen to her. Whatever she told you. This—it’s the right thing to do. I just have one request.

Gen: You already had your last meal--

Joel: The ice cream was great, thank you, but no. Something else.

Gen: I can’t let you go back to earth and tackle Chris to the ground. He is 6’5, he would still win.

Joel: That’s not—Really? Even as a—

Gen: Those 3 inches make a difference.

Joel: Whatever. Not what I wanted.

Gen: It’s one of the things you wanted.

Joel: Anyway. I just—can you promise me—Can you guarantee that Sheila not only goes to The Good Place but that she’s happy? I’m not a big fan of this ‘soul mate’ thing—but I can’t stand the thought of Sheila being alone.

Gen:  I can promise you that she will get into The Good Place.

Joel: And?

Gen: That’s it. What happens after is beyond me. I can’t promise you anything.

 *****

Sheila: So he goes into one vault and I go in the other?

Gen: You’re gonna get a little sick but it’ll pass. Just don’t breath through your mouth. The vomit just flies---

Joel: Why does that sound grosser than anything we’ve ever done?

Eleanor: Are you sure there isn’t anything else you can do?

Gen: No. This is it. Say your goodbyes. Anymore time wasted and—well nothing happens. Time isn’t a thing here. We could all chill and catch up on Grey’s Anatomy. They have thirty-six seasons. Thirty-Six!  But we’re only delaying the inevitable.

Sheila: This is it then.

Joel: Forty-five years.

Sheila: We only made it to one Bop.

Joel: I have no regrets.

Sheila: I do. Just the one.

Joel: What’s that?

Shelia: We should have mailed that deed to Gary’s niece. It would have reduced our carbon footprint. And then maybe—

Joel: I don’t care. I would do it all over again.

Eleanor: (crying) How does keep happening to me?

*****

 Eleanor: I can’t believe it. They’re just gone? They’re good people. Like, real good people. I mean, a little problematic because of the murder. But it was just one point--

Gen: Yup. One point. Unless---

Eleanor: Unless what?

Gen: They were human and still accumulating points.

Eleanor: Wait. What?

Gen: Think about it.

Eleanor: You know I am not good at that.

Gen: You humans are so slow. On earth they were Undead. Then they died, again. When they arrived to your neighborhood Good Place, they were human. The points rebooted.

Eleanor: What?!

Gen: It’s complicated. Serbia is…complicated. Being dead and then undead and dead again—it’s everything cancelling each other out. It’s like—

Eleanor: A loophole.

Gen: I cannot confirm that.

Eleanor: You—their points---

Gen: Are even.

Eleanor: I don’t---

Gen: Let’s just say, they both asked something of me in their final moments. And it evened them out.

Eleanor: But they went into different vaults?

Gen: Leading to the same place.

*****

 Sheila: What are you doing here?

Joel: What are you doing here?

Shelia: I’m taking your place!

Joel: She promised me you would go the real Good Place.

Sheila: Unless this is—

Joel and Sheila: Fuck!

Sheila: Wait--

Joel and Shelia: Fuck?!

Sheila: FUCK!

Joel: FUCK!

Sheila: HOLY FUCKING FUCK !

Joel: MOTHERFUCKING FUCK !

Janet: Hello!

Joel: FUCK!

Janet: My name is Janet.

Shelia: We’ve met.

Janet: No, we haven’t. I’m your neighborhood’s Janet. There are millions of me for every Good Place neighborhood.

Sheila: Say that again?

Janet: Hello, my name is Janet—

Shelia: No, the other thing.

Janet: There are a millions of me—

Shelia: No—

Joel: This could take hours—Janet where are we?

Janet: This is The Good Place. Neighborhood #6969.

Joel: Wait—

Shelia: Later, Joel. No, not that like that. Well maybe like that—

  --Fin—

#ssaalexblake #santa clarita diet #the good place #my fic #a lot of this doesn't make sense but i trust you to just go with it #you will have questions---i may have some answers

[kauitrinidad-blog]

I’ve always wanted to have a personal blog but I really don’t know how to start and manage. But yeah, I’ll try. Since it’s my first blog, I thought of doing a short intro. So here are some facts about me:

1. Who am I? I’m 18. Born in the month of August. My real name is not really Kaui, It’s just made up from my first and second name. I live with my mom and my brother, my father’s working abroad BUT I’m a daddy’s girl.

2. What are my hobbies? Uhm actually I love to keep myself busy. I love going out. Really don’t like lying down all day long. But in case that I don’t have any choice but to stay home I’d rather invite someone to come over and spend time with me like; watch any movies or series, eat, talk. I just don’t wanna be alone, it’s boring. AND—

3. Do I play any sports? Yes, I play basketball. I started to learn playing it when I was 14 because of some friends that encouraged me to join the sports fest held in our school. AND unexpectedly a thin person like me JOINED. And after learning that it became my sport. It actually improved my body. —AND I became a member of the varsity team. WAS ACTUALLY PICKED as the captain in my last playing year. KNOWING that I’m a short tempered person, my coach told me that I should try to lead the team so I could IMPROVE my personality as an athlete. And yep, it was effective though.

4. If I am to rate my personality 1-10 what would it be? I would rate myself 6 I think. Because I really have mood issues. Like I may be sweet to you at first but later I would probably be irritable.

5. Celebrity crush/es? NADINE and KHALIL are the answer. No need to explain, reason: they’re my definition of PERFECTION.

6. What am I afraid of? I have phobia in butterflies. It’s weird actually ‘cause, they’re really beautiful why would I be afraid of them. I don’t really know why. I just don’t like them flying around me. ALSO moths.

7. Do I do makeup? Of course I do. I love doing make up. I can’t go out without wearing them. If ever I’m in a rush, I’d probably just do my eyebrows. I can apply it in a minute ‘cause I’m really used to it. But not because I love doing make up, I’m actually good in doing make up. I still call myself a beginner though. But it’s a good thing to practice how to make myself presentable. This would be a big help, specially when you’re going for a event. You don’t need to hire someone and spend money on them to do your make up. I think it’s a must.

8. Do I have any skills? I’ve learned ballet when I was a kid, my mom enrolled me ‘cause I really don’t know how to dance. I also learned how to play a violin, but as of now I own and play a ukulele. Dancing isn’t really my thing but I can follow steps though If needed, specially in our school in our PE class we are REQUIRED to dance. SWIMMING, I had may swimming lessons when I was a kid. SINGING, I love to sing but I’m not telling you that I’m good at it, but since I was a kid I really love to sing. I can PERFORM also, like in a play or musical play like do acting or what. BUT I’m a shy type of a person. I have semi stage frights though. But I can handle it even though I get nervous a bit.

9. What do I crave for? I love steaks. Specifically Beef steak and T-bone. In milk-teas I constantly order caramel for the flavor and natadecoco for my sinkers. I don’t like pearls. Starbucks? Caramel Macchiato of course. I love caramel. Also I’m a fan of frozen yogurt specially LLAO LLAO. Chocolates? Anything with ALMONDS. No raisins please, I hate them. Chocolate drink, forever CHOC-O this is my happy pill specially when I’m at school, I’d buy one before I head to my class.

10. Dream job? I really don’t have any, I’m still undecided. Actually, I’m in my 12th grade currently taking STEM. AND the fact that I am a person who’s really not into science courses like engineering or whatsoever, I am taking STEM. I’d rather do statistics or analytics rather than memorizing the human anatomy.

So, these are the 10 facts that you might wanna know about me. Next time I think I’m gonna do ‘FACTS that my friends know about me’ I think it’s fun to like ask them something and I might actually get shocked. ✧

#KauiBlogs 10Facts FirstBlogPost

[imnoexpertblog]

Carbs - I'll Eat Them While I Can

5/14/18

Its Monday! I ate the worst that I have eaten in months over the weekend. Granted, I had two birthday gatherings for my 22nd so it makes sense. But I am still regretful. I feel bloated and I can’t wait to get my free bag of detox tea this week. It was also Mother’s Day weekend which means we had a couple of get-togethers for that as well. Baby and Nugget got me a card with a gift certificate for my first professional massage! Baby also made me my own Mother’s Day brunch at home! It was an omelet with everything I love; mushrooms, onion, cheese, salsa, bacon, sausage. Mmmm, so good. It was really sweet of Baby to get me something for Mother’s Day. I would not expect anything, considering we are not married and I am obviously not Nugget’s mother. They both know I love and treat him as if he is my own though and it was just really nice to be recognized as a motherly role in this life. Baby’s family also wished me a Happy Mother’s Day, along with mine. I wasn’t expecting so many people to say that to me! It was very new to me and honestly very exciting. I do everything with my two men in mind so this was a great day to be appreciated a little extra. I’m just happy everyone can see how much I love these two. I hope your Mother’s Day was as great as mine, whether you’re a mother or not. Now let’s talk about some food!

Baby is going Keto. I know very little about it, other than the fact that it’s a high fat and low carb diet, which is great for him because he is definitely a meat-eater. I am sure that once I consume the food that he cannot eat that we still have in the house, I will most likely give it a shot too. It’s really hard to change something so large in your lifestyle, like your diet. It’s even harder when the person you live with has a completely opposite outlook or mindset. I wouldn’t want to be stuck eating something less appetizing while I watch my partner down my favorite snacks that I can no longer have. Baby has learned quite a bit about the Keto diet and I am eager the find more out, as well. He lost about six pounds in eight days, I believe he said. One of my best friends at work, Ryan, has been on his Keto diet for about five or six weeks now and has lost over 15 pounds and kept it off. Good for them! I wouldn’t do it do lose weight, I have already lost 30 pounds since late July of 2017. I would do it for health purposes and to see if I feel better without all the carbs I usually take in. I will get more into it once I actually learn about it. Baby is making me watch the Keto-related The Magic Pill documentary on Netflix tomorrow so I will have to let you all know how that knows and what I think about it. As much as I think it would suck to have to give up carbs, there’s still so much you get to eat. Baby said it’s the most enjoyable diet he’s ever tried. We will see!

Straight from Keto to Carbs. I wanted to tell you about overnight oats. I have wanted to give these a whirl for years but just tried them this weekend. Emily, also featured in my last food blog, told me to try these for work! I love them and I will for sure be eating these until my ingredients are all gone (and I will have to try Keto). Using a mason jar (the standard size, I’m pretty sure), layer approximately ½ cup rolled oats, 1 tbsp chia seeds, whatever fruit you like, and a bit of brown sugar or vanilla extract. An awesome flavor combo is peanut butter and banana. After all that, pour in 2/3 cup of your choice of milk; 2%, almond, coconut, etc. I also add in about 1/3 cup of Greek yogurt to thicken it up. Pop it in the fridge overnight and you’ll have your quick and easy breakfast in the morning! The chia seeds offer a great complex carb to provide long-lasting energy without having to take in a bunch of calories. The fruit you’re getting from this meal is also a great way to start the day. “Chocolate covered strawberry” could have strawberries and chocolate chips in it. Peanut butter and honey is super good. “Cinnamon apple” would be delicious. “Peaches and cream” could consist of peach slices and sweet cream! For “raspberry cheesecake,” add cream cheese and raspberries. To make it chocolate based, add cocoa powder. This sky is the limit! Grab come mason jars next time you’re out and give these a go.

Okay, not everything we eat is going to be very good for us. So, let me tell you about my jalapeno popper burgers. Yes. They are as good as they sound. Of course, I will tell you how to make them, but I don’t always measure everything, so forgive me if I leave out measurements. 1) Beef. Get 2 pounds of it. Season it. Onion salt, garlic powder, pepper, cumin. Mix that up. 2) The jalapeno popper filling. Mix 6 oz. of cream cheese, 1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese, 2 minced jalapenos (I don’t always include all the seeds), and garlic powder. 3) Shape the burgers into 8 thin patties to make four stuffed burgers. 5) Spoon filling onto four of them, and place the other four on top of them. Pinch the sides of the patties together. Cook in a skillet over medium heat for about 5 minutes each side. You will want to bake them in oven at about 350 degrees because these can be pretty thick. 5 minutes will keep them at medium, bake for longer for a more well-done burger. I serve these with pepper jack cheese and lettuce on toasted buns. I also put the lettuce underneath the patty to catch the grease, that way your bottom bun is not soggy. Add any condiment you like or slap some extra filling on top of the patty if you end up with any! Cook times will vary depending on the size and thickness of the burger. Adjust whatever you need in order to make these perfect for you. I love these with sweet potato fries.

Wow, I want those burgers so badly now. Baby and I have been on a burger kick lately. I have probably eaten 10 in the last couple weeks. No complaints from me, though. Burgers are my favorite. We actually have gotten Nugget to eat burgers now! A little backstory, Nugget would only eat about three things when I met him and his father. He’d eat chicken nuggets, pizza, and pb&j sandwiches. I also saw him eat the frosting off a donut once. In the last 8-9 months, Baby and I have gotten him to start eating hot dogs, corn, burgers, spaghetti, green beans, eggs, yogurt, ravioli, baked beans, a ton of fruit, cereals, just a bunch of stuff. This is a continuous adventure with him and it’s going really well as of about four months ago. It used to be very hard to have him open up to some things but he just ate a sloppy joe for the first time (I am pretty sure) tonight! I grew up with the option to eat what everyone was eating, or nothing at all. Eating nothing at all was barely even an option, but my mother never served me what she wouldn’t eat herself. She never pushed brussel sprouts or peas on me, for example. I always ask Nugget to try something before he thinks he doesn’t like it. I also try not to tell him that I don’t like something before he tries it. He has discovered he likes peas and I hate peas. I just won’t tell him that. I also know to be sensitive with him when it comes to texture; I can tell he has a hard time with the texture of some foods rather than the taste. But getting him to eat more foods has been a big success in our household these past few months! Is it hard to get your kids to eat? Do you have any tricks? Comment below! We will chat health and beauty soon. I hope your Monday isn’t too rough on ya!

#carbs #food #foodblog #blog #new #newblog #newblogger #blogger #smom #model #eat #eating #family #marriage #recipes #love #life #lifestyle #fun #healthy #keto #health

[i-have-been-changed-for-good]

A Little Bit of Something

Monday -  In the morning I’m talking to Joyce while she’s at the coffee machine, so I turn to Scott really quick to say hi because I have no choice while Joyce is watching me. I barely make eye contact with him. I don’t even wait long enough to see how he responds to me. When I look at him again, he is passing by me and he has no expression on his face. So before Scott came in, Steve and I were observing a snake caught on a sticky trap in the warehouse. We both want to help it. After Scott comes in, I go to my computer and look to see what helps get creatures unstuck, and cooking oil comes up. I go to their office to let Steve know, and he calls Linda, who says she has olive oil. At one point, I can tell Scott is looking at me. I turn to him and he’s beaming at me. I light up too and we look at each other for a few seconds. Not long after, Steve comes to my desk and asks if I’m ready. We open the warehouse door, put on gloves, and grab the snake. I look at Scott, who is facing his office door and was looking at me. He put his head down to look at his cellphone, which is in his hands. Steve takes the snake in to Scott and I follow. We talk for only a few moments and then Steve walks out. I follow. When I pass by Steve’s window to look in at Scott, he quickly puts his head down again. Steve and I successfully free the snake. It took us maybe 10 minutes or so. It was really cool cuz we got his tail loose first, but he kept swinging it so I was trying to stop his tail from getting stuck again. The snake wrapped his tail around my finger a few times. It was awesome and I very much enjoyed that. I’m going to ShopRite for lunch today and I message Scott at 11:47 if he wants anything. He doesn’t respond. I go to his doorway and ask if he wants anything and he tells me he just responded to my message, that he only just saw it, but he doesn’t want anything. I don’t know how he missed it since messages blink. Steve hasn’t gone to lunch yet, but I don’t know if I should ask if he wants anything, so I don’t. When I go in Scott’s office, I ask how his day is. He says it’s okay. I ask about his weekend and he tells me he finished painting his garage. He asks me about my weekend and I tell him I went over my dad’s Saturday night and we had dinner and then watched Black Panther and Thor: Ragnarok. The only Marvel movie Scott has seen is Deadpool, which he liked. I tell him about the snake this morning and how it wrapped around my finger. Once we freed it, it tried to bite Steve, and then it coiled as if ready to attack if we came closer. After about a minute or two, it slithered away. I say how I don’t think it was very grateful and Scott laughs and says “Of course not, it’s a snake.” Scott says he doesn’t feel like working and we joke about that. I see on the other side of his desk that he brought a water canteen today. I see the words “love you mom” and I can see a hand. Most likely it’s a picture of his daughter on there, and probably a gift Scott got his wife. I look away from it, and I don’t realize I am staring into a void, lost in thought. Scott asks me if I’m okay, which snaps me back to reality. I say I’m just tired. Scott says he could use a latte, but the ShopRite near our work doesn’t carry the one he likes. He asks me how ShopRite was and I tell him it wasn’t busy. I got aloe water but they only had grape flavor, which isn’t my first choice. Scott tried aloe water over the weekend, but he got a brand that has chunks in it. Chunks are gross. He couldn’t finish it. I mention how I really want to try oat milk and how I’m probably going to buy some this week. Scott says he bought almond milk yogurt but doesn’t like it, and he has one left. I tell him I don’t like it either. Then he offers it to me. “I just said I don’t like it,” I laugh. Scott says for me to take it anyway since he doesn’t just want to throw it out. He asks me if I have gum and I go and grab my pack. Steve comes in so I offer him a piece as well, trying to hopefully make up for not asking if he wants anything from ShopRite. He declines. I look back at Scott, who is smiling softly at me. When I leave, I look back at him through Steve’s window. He turns to look at me at the last second before I pass behind the wall.

I use the bathroom and come up the hall just as Scott comes out of his office. He asks me if I want anything and I decline. Some time a little later, I go to take an order out into the warehouse. As I reach the door, I see someone walking toward me on the right. It’s Scott walking back to his office. I give him a little smile, and he gives me a little smile back. When I talk to him at the end of the day and ask how his day was, he says he’s glad it’s over. I tell him that he always says that. I forgot to take my blue light glasses off and Scott asks me about them. I tell him I feel less tired since I’ve been using them, but I don’t know if it’s a placebo effect or not. It feels weird when I’m not looking at a screen though because the glasses have a yellow tint to them, so it feels good sometimes to take them off. I say how glasses are terrible all the time. If it rains, it’s annoying because then you can’t see and your glasses are wet. When it’s sunny, you can’t just put sunglasses over them. You could get the tinted ones, which look stupid, or have the clip ons, which also look stupid. Saturday is the first day of fall so I’m going to bake something and bring it in Friday. I would like to make some cool donuts, but I have no idea how to make donuts. Scott says I could just buy something, but I want to make it. I want to do these apples covered in black caramel, but Scott says that’s too Halloweeny. He’s leaving on time today. Scott passes my cubicle while I’m still getting my things together, but I hear him use the bathroom. I go outside and close my passenger door just as Scott comes walking out. He has a little crooked smile on his face. We look at each other and say bye.

Tuesday -  When I greet Scott in the morning, he seems happy. I like when it feels reciprocated.

During my lunch, Scott is working on a return, so I ask him questions about it. I’m just curious. He is kind of pissed because he’s fixing someone else’s mistake. He had an order that someone wanted sent overnight, but no one ever shipped it. So the person who ordered cancelled the order. Then, 2 days later, someone decided to ship the order out. So now Scott has to put everything together for a return. I don’t blame him for being mad. In between me asking him questions, I look at the map on his wall. Montana has a profile view of a face on the left side of it. I point this out to Scott. He never noticed it either. He asks me how my day is going and I say it’s okay. I was having really bad pain again last night and couldn’t really do much. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I hope I don’t have IBS or some other really shitty condition like that. Scott still has his stomach issues, and sometimes under his ribs hurt. His doctor keeps telling him that pain is unrelated, but Scott thinks it is. Scott says I look like I could fall asleep. I am sleepy. He takes off his glasses. Aside from my cat, Scott has my favorite face. I tell him he looks tired too. “Really? I don’t feel tired. I don’t know if that’s good that I look tired but don’t feel like I am.” I’m sure caffeine helps. He was up late watching football since players in his draft were playing. Scott’s hungry. I ask if he has snacks and he said he needs to stock his drawer. I tell him I have snacks if he ever needs anything. He thanks me. I tell him I have pistachios (Scott says he loves these, as do I), plantain chips, and those mini cheese rice cakes. My legs are draped over the side of his desk. I have my flats on, which Scott says look like slippers. I don’t think they do, but I say how they are really comfy. Scott is cleaning his glasses off, or trying to at least. We both agree that there is just no way to get glasses 100% clean. While he’s cleaning them, the song that is on starts playing sex noises. My body tightens. I look at Scott, then look away. He just focuses on cleaning his glasses. Scott looks at me a lot during the time I’m in there. He tends to look away when I look back at him though. At one point, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m playing with my tongue between my teeth and then up and over my top lip. Scott just watches me, then he smiles. Steve comes in and I turn to Scott to say I’ll talk to him later. He’s staring at me. Toward the end of day, I come out of Joyce’s cubicle and Scott goes into his office drinking water. He looks at me at the last second. My tongue is out over my top lip. I print an email then use the bathroom and hear the men’s room door close moments later. I see it’s Scott when I come back to my desk. I hear him grab a faxed paper but when I turn to look, he’s gone. At the end of the day, I tell Scott how Pete talked to me today about me being hired. He also went to HR because it’s ridiculous I’ve been waiting for so long. Scott had taken off his glasses and is giving me his full attention. I say how I had coffee so I feel better. Earlier in the day I was tired and in pain, and now I’m just in pain. Scott laughs and says that sucks.

I come out of my cubicle and hear Scott turn his office light out. I linger for a few seconds, but he doesn’t come out. I start walking. I hear him not too far behind me and when I reach the end of the hall, I turn. Scott says bye to me and that he has to pee. He doesn’t take long in the bathroom and when he comes outside, I wave. Wednesday -  I end up greeting Scott at the coffee machine in the morning, which doesn’t happen that often. I get an order in the early afternoon and notice a part is priced at one cent, which obviously isn’t right. Scott put the order together, so I go ask him about it. I printed the unfinished invoice, and he says “This isn’t my order.” The Sales Order sheets look different. I tell him to just ignore how it looks. He’s looking into why the part got changed from $75 to $.01. “How did this happen?” he asks me. I say I don’t know, and he says he wasn’t actually asking me, he was just talking out loud. He didn’t ask it like a rhetorical question though. He has to erase the picked order and create a new one. I watch him work the whole time and am in awe. He’s clicking from one thing to another and to another. I keep admiring how intelligent he is. I also take the opportunity to observe him while he works. I love doing this with Scott. I like all of the familiar things about him, plus noticing new things. I see some freckles on his tanned arm, under all of his dark hair. I also notice a very small chunk missing from the right side of his nose. I’m there about 10-15 minutes. Scott had also gotten a phone call during that time, so he had to pause working on my order. When he finishes, he hands me back my paper and we lock eyes. I thank him for his help. During my lunch, I ask if he’s busy and he says he always is. Scott gives me a little smile as he stops working to just stare at me. He does this several times during our conversation. And always when I’m not looking at him. I tell him I’m trying to decide what to bake for Friday. I’m scrolling through Pinterest and going over some ideas that I have. I mention making something black, like black cupcakes. Scott says he wouldn’t eat anything black, which I find strange. He asks me if I’m baking just because it’s autumn or for Halloween. I tell him for autumn, but that I may also bring in something for Halloween since it falls on a Wednesday. Scott asks me if I dress up, and I tell him not really. I was going to put a little outfit together last year, but wasn’t sure if anyone at work would be celebrating. I think all I have are bat socks though. Scott finds this funny. I may buy a shirt for this year though to wear to work. I tell him I love to decorate though. I got a bunch of decorations last year for Halloween. I didn’t even decorate for Christmas, though that was because I didn’t have money to, which I don’t tell Scott. I see Scott has blueberry gum, so I ask if I can try a piece. He holds a piece between his first 3 fingers and when I grab the gum, I also touch his fingers. Scott’s hand lingers for a moment after I grab the gum. Scott asks me how my stomach feels, and I think it’s almost back to normal. Scott’s neck is stiff today. I wish I could massage it for him :/ Our conversation continues with Scott asking me a lot of questions. I feel like I talked over him a few times, which I didn’t meant to do. I’m sitting at my desk and turn left to grab some papers just as Scott happens to come over to my cubicle. He asks me if I want anything from WaWa. I don’t, but it’s so sweet he always asks me. Toward the end of the day, I come out of the bathroom, and when I reach the end of the hall, I see Scott on my left. I look over my shoulder as I pass and we both say, “hey.” At the end of the day, Scott is still a little busy. I tell him how Ryan, Angelo’s replacement when he retires, talked to me today. He is really pushing for my company to take the hold off of hiring since I’ve been waiting for so long. At the very least, they will at least pay for me to have health insurance. Ryan also asked me if there’s a penalty for not being insured and I tell him there is a fine, which makes me believe my company is willing to pay that as well. I tell Scott I decided on pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and ask him if white chocolate chip or milk chocolate sounds better. He says milk, which is what I was thinking too. I want him to know I value his input. I ask if he’s leaving on time and he says he is in a minute. I go and grab my things, trying to take my time. After I say bye to Pete and Joyce, I go to Scott’s doorway and it looks like he’s still working, so I say bye and that I’ll see him tomorrow. His car starts right when I get to my passenger door. I look really good today, so I’m in the middle of taking a selfie when Scott comes out. I try to play it off, though I’m sure he caught me lol. I just wave. Selfies below :) The first one I took at work, and the second one I took when I pulled into my apartment complex.

Thursday -  Scott comes in late today. I get worried and consider asking Steve if Scott is okay. When I’m refilling my water bottle some time a little after 10, I hear the back door open and a plastic bag ruffling. Scott. It immediately clicks in my brain that he had his doctor appointment today. He told me about it earlier in the week. Sure enough, on the way back to my cubicle, I see Scott walk into his office. After about a minute, I grab documents I had printed and Scott comes out of his office. I turn and he puts his hand up in greeting right before he passes behind the wall. I say “Hey, Scott” and I hear him respond, “Hey, Dana.” Not long before my lunch, I go out into the warehouse to take out orders. When I come in, I see Scott walking toward his office door with his empty water cup. I give him a small smile, but he doesn’t exactly smile back. I don’t know how to describe his face, but it seemed like he was stuck somewhere between a frown and a smile, some sort of in-between. When I go in during my lunch, I ask him how his doctor appointment went. He says as he expected. He has to get an ultrasound done, and if they don’t find anything, there’s a few other things they might do as a next step, which includes sticking a tube through his nose down to his stomach for 24 hours. We talk for a bit about all of that. Scott says he hopes they find out what’s wrong with him before the new year, since the new insurance sucks. We get on the topic of insurance for a bit. Toward the end of that topic, we talk about how no matter what your salary is, we all have the same deductible. Scott says, “Yeah, pretty much we’re all gonna be making $3000 less.” Except we won’t. I don’t realize it until much later in the day, when I’m at home, in the shower, but we will not all make $3000 less. That deductible is for people who are insuring others in addition to themselves. Scott’s daughter…and his wife. At some point early in our conversation, Scott takes off his tinted reading glasses. I stare at his face, which appears bright and open. He tells me his friend’s funeral is tomorrow but that it’s in the middle of the day, and he doesn’t really want to take the whole day off. Plus, it’s in northeast Philly and he hasn’t seen the guy in 15-20 years. I get the impression he feels kind of bad for choosing not to go, so I support his decision and kind of talk him through it. I tell him how I bought all of my cookie stuff last night and how I’m determined to do this. I went to a different ShopRite, one a bit further from me, because they have oat milk, which I’ve wanted to try. Scott asks me if it lived up to my expectations, but I hadn’t tried it yet. (I have since tried it, and it doesn’t have much of a taste. It’s a bit watery like almond milk.) I tell him how they had other milks, like macadamia and plant based, both of which I also want to try. Scott asks me if I drink regular milk. He says he’s just curious. I say I don’t buy it anymore and go into a short, informative rant about how our bodies aren’t made to have dairy after we’re no longer babies, how the lactase in our bodies decreases, and that our body really only keeps making lactase because we keep consuming dairy. So being lactose intolerant is common because it’s actually natural, though we tend to think of it at unnatural. A lot of health people I follow and health podcasts I listen to promote being dairy free, even if they eat meat. I also talks about dairy’s affect on our bodies. I do still consume some dairy, but not much. Scott watches me the whole time I’m talking. I often wonder if I talk too much, but Scott never makes me feel like I do. He’s attentive. I talk a little about veggie “meat” as well. I tell Scott I have some avocado left if he wants it, but it won’t really go with his lunch and he doesn’t like to eat it plain. His daughter likes it plain though. Scott says it’s not flavorful enough and I say it is. He says no, flavorful would be like an apple, and I say how an apple only appears more flavorful because it’s juicy and refreshing. He thinks it over and then agrees with me. I tell him I’m considering getting Thai food for dinner, since I saw Paul’s container of food when I handed him an order. “I didn’t know what was in there, but my brain went ‘Mm Asian food’ and now that’s what I keep thinking about.” Scott laughs. He doesn’t really like too much Asian food aside from sushi. We talk about that for a bit. Scott had given me a sweet look a few times while I was in there. Once in particular, was when I was draping my legs over the edge of his desk. I remember looking at his lips at one point, wondering what they’d feel like against mine. I ask him how his neck is feeling and he says it feels better, but it would be nice to crack it. He jokingly asks me to crack it for him and I say I wouldn’t trust myself to. I heat my afternoon coffee in the microwave and walk back down the hall. Right as I’m about to turn and pass Scott’s office, he turns and looks at me. I have a small smile on my face, but he just keeps his neutral stare. At the end of the day, when I turn around from the paper bin and walk toward Scott’s office, he actually turns toward the door and watches me walk in. It’s a nice change. He’s giving me a sweet little smile. I ask him how the rest of his day has been and he says not bad. His whole body is turned toward me and as I walk closer, I can see his eyes are on my breasts. He has his tinted glasses on, but I can see where his eyes are looking. I watch as his eyes flick up to my face. I sit down. His chair has been in the same position all day, facing his wall. I ask if he’s sat at all today and he says he doesn’t think he has. I tell him I’m tired today and that I don’t know how people wake up and go to bed at the same times daily. I woke up at 6:40 yesterday and 7:20 today. Scott says I’m lucky that I live so close and that he wishes he could wake up at 7:20. I tell him I hate waking up late because then I’m rushing and don’t have time to do some stuff. Scott says he never rushes to get anywhere. I noticed. We both laugh. It’s time to go. Scott is leaving on time. Scott walks out of his office right before I walk out of my cubicle. He gives me a crooked little smile. As we walk down the hall, he asks me if I want to race today. I tell him I always win. "That’s because we’re never racing.” I agree, and say I’m going to win anyway. Scott keeps smiling a toothy smile and I feel warm inside. His smile is my favorite. He tells me not to get caught. “Get caught?” “Yeah. Speeding.” We say bye. I win.

Friday -  I’m changing one of the ink cartridges when Scott comes in. He’s wearing his dark gray shirt, my favorite on him. I’m wearing the light gray company t-shirt I always wear on Fridays. Our jeans are also pretty much the same color, his a bit darker than mine. I turn to him and say, “Hey, Scott” and he replies, “Hey, Dana.” I turn away for a second then turn back to him and say, “Good morning,” which he says back to me. He asks me how I’m doing and then looks at the cookies as he passes. He gets to his doorway, turns, and asks me how the cookies turned out. I say “pretty good.” He goes into his office but comes back out 30 seconds later to go down the hall. I don’t think he looked at me. Since the printer needs to calibrate after the ink is changed, I make my coffee. Scott had already gone back into his office. I go to the mini fridge to put my creamer in my coffee and when I start walking back down the hall, I see Scott had been looking at me while he was talking to Steve. He looks back at Steve and as I get closer he turns to face his computer. I print stuff and I hear someone come in from the warehouse and walk by to use the bathroom. I have a feeling it’s Scott, and I see he’s been away 5 minutes. I continue to print what I need without any urgency. I know our chance encounters will happen when they’re meant to. I go over to the printer and then hear the men’s room door open. After I sift through the papers to make sure everything is mine, I turn around. A guy, Billy, is right there, and behind him is Scott. I beam at Scott who gives me a cute little crooked grin. During my lunch, I ask Scott how his day has been. He says it’s pretty good, but his back hurts him a little bit. I ask him if he’s got any plans for the weekend, and he says probably just working on his garage. He might paint the floor, but he’s not sure yet, and he has to put everything back together in there. His eye is bothering him, and he’s not sure if something is in there. We stare into each other eyes and then I focus on just the one. I tell him it’s not red or anything. I ask him if he tried my cookies and he says he hasn’t yet, but he heard they were good. I say how Steve liked them, and of course that’s who told Scott they were good. I was up late making them since I only had one baking sheet and didn’t think ahead of time to buy a second one. I say how this is the first time I’ve made something from scratch without it being disastrous and Scott says, “So you’re a baker now, huh?” I reply pompously, “Yeah, I guess you could call me that.” Scott laughs. I say how I might decorate tomorrow since it’s the first day of fall. I have some new decorations but don’t know where I’m going to put some of them. I have these lantern things, and I could probably tack them to the ceiling, but I’m not tall enough to reach. Scott comments how I’m pretty tall and I say how I’m only 5'4". Scott thought I was taller, but I say maybe because I wear my boots a lot. Scott jokes how with those on I look 6 feet tall. Even so, Scott should be aware that I’m not really tall. Scott asks if I have stools and I say I do, but it’s only one step up, not 2 steps, so I still can’t reach my ceiling. He keeps rubbing his eye. We stare again. I say how its starting to look a little watery. I just want to staring into his eyes. I sit back and put my legs up on the corner of his desk. Scott smirks down at me. I ask if it’s supposed to rain this weekend and he says only Sunday. I tell him I don’t care about Sunday because I hate looking out the window at how nice it is and how I’m stuck inside working. The restaurant is supposed to close for a week, most likely in October. I hope it’s my birthday weekend. Scott asks me when my birthday is, which he should already know since I’ve mentioned it before. Plus it’s the same day as his, just a different month. I tell him the 15th. I say I could use another coffee and Scott says he’s going to WaWa if I want something. I decline, saying I will just make coffee here. I tell him I won racing yesterday and he says he kept getting stuck behind other people, which is true. His eye won’t stop bothering him so I ask if he wants to take a look at it in my compact. I go and get it for him, then he asks me for contact solution. He goes into the men’s room. Steve comes in, and he asks me about my aloe water. We start talking about different drinks. Scott comes back in. When Steve and I finish talking, I look back up at Scott, who is sweetly looking down at me with a little smile. It’s unexpected. I feel my body flood with warmth and affection. I tell him I’ll talk to him later. When Scott goes on lunch, he still asks me, “Are you sure you don’t want anything?” I say, “No, I’m alright. Thanks, Scott.”  I do kinda want something, but I only have $2 and I’m not sure that will cover any canned drinks. I am walking toward the bathroom when I hear the back door sound. I’m sure it��s Scott, and sure enough, I hear the second door start to open. When I open the women’s room door, I look over my shoulder and see him start to come into view. When I come out of the bathroom, Scott is walking over to the cookies. He sees me and grins. He has his back to me as he grabs a cookie, so I take the opportunity to get a good look at the butt. When I get closer, he asks me what the bread is for. I stand right next to him, very closely, though he never turns to me. I stare at his his lips as I speak. “It soaks up the moisture so that the cookies stay soft. The bread will usually harden.” I feel the bread and add, “It hasn’t gotten there yet though. There’s your baking tip…if you ever bake.” Scott laughs and says he doesn’t bake. He can’t get the lid closed. “How do you close this thing?” “I got it.” He laughs as he walks away and my heart lights up. A little later, I come out of my cubicle and Scott is right there, turning down the hall to use the bathroom. I have a little smile on my face and he says, “hey.” I cannot explain how I always happen to run into him. It just happens. I go out into the warehouse not long after, and when I come in, Scott is sitting down and has his cell in his hands, but he turns to look at me. When I turn to look at him, he looks away. I hear Scott later in the day say hey to someone he passes by. I turn and see a part of him come into view. When he comes out of the bathroom, he grabs another cookie. “Grabbing another one?” I ask. He says something but I don’t hear him, and he walks away before I can say “What?”. Within minutes of Scott grabbing a cookie, a few other people do too. They’re a big hit :) Joe had grabbed one and walked away with it in the direction of Scott’s office. Scott comes in through the warehouse and I hear him ask, “They’re good, aren’t they?”  Joe replies, “mm-hmm” as he eats the cookie. I feel myself light up. When I go in to talk to Scott at the end of the day, I ask him if he liked my cookies and he says he did. I tell him I think him and Steve are the only ones who went back for seconds, but not many people went to the printer today like they usually do. Scott says he saw Joey eating some and I say how Joey asked me first if he could have one and laugh. I tell him Steve asked me about the bread too. “You guys are like 2 peas in a pod.” Scott smiles. I ask him why he only ever has one paper on his desk to write notes on instead of grabbing a notepad, and he says he uses scrap paper so it doesn’t go to waste. He says Steve will get mad of he wastes paper. I laugh and ask why, and Scott says he doesn’t know. He asks me what people like that are called and I say I don’t know, maybe an environmentalist. I point out how Steve has paper all over his desk and Scott says he knows, it makes no sense. I ask if Steve still uses plastic and stuff and Scott says he does. “What? You have to be consistent.” Scott agrees with me. He calls Steve a tree hugger. It’s probably not that funny, but we laugh anyway. A weird song comes on and I ask Scott why he’s listening to Latino music. He says it isn’t Latino, but I say it is. We go back and forth for a minute or so. Scott laughs and it’s magic. It’s time to go. As I grab my stuff, Scott just turns down the hall. Pete is at the printer and starts talking to me, so I end up talking to him for a few minutes. Scott had used the bathroom, and when he comes out, he doesn’t wait for me. After another minute, I go outside. Scott is sitting in his seat but has the door open still. I wave and he waves back. I look down as I go down the steps, and when I reach the bottom, I look back at Scott, who is still looking at me. We wave again and I say, “Bye, Scott.” I get hit with a feeling in this moment, something that I think was the cumulative result of many different interactions this week: Scott looking at me a lot, his asking me a lot of questions, stopping and staring into each other eye’s pretty much daily. As much as I keep stuff held in on my end, I have at least let some of it out. Scott on the other hand, has not. I can’t possibly know for sure what’s in Scott’s heart or what he’s feeling, but it’s something. There’s something there. For me. And I am beginning to wonder if I may soon find out just what exactly it is.