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tragidean · 11 months

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we really shouldn’t be doing this [17.1k] (ao3)

It doesn’t work.

Two hand jobs over a three-hour period and a newfound case of carpal tunnel later, and Castiel glares at Dean from across the kitchen table, like all of this is his fault. If anything, he deserves a medal for getting Castiel off as many times as he could on little to no sleep. Coffee doesn’t help; part of him wonders if a shot of adrenaline would, but the resulting crash would only send him right back where he started, leaving him with the only alternative—

Awkward breakfast conversations.

“I can’t believe you called her,” Dean mutters into his French toast. Castiel continues to stare at him, the furrowed lines in his brow threatening to become permanent. “Some things are private, Cas.”

“And it’s not working.” Castiel rubs his temples. The sleeves of his robe—a similar one, the fabric light blue instead of Dean’s gray—slides down his arms, revealing his wrists and the fingers Dean wants to feel on his tongue. “No matter how often we try, I’m still…” He lowers his voice. “I’m still aroused.”

Dean sighs and sets his fork down. “No, man, I… I get it. I mean, I don’t get it, but I…” Just stop talking. “I need coffee. You want coffee?”

“You have coffee.” Castiel grabs his wrist before he can make it to his feet. “Is this a chore to you?”

“What?” Dean fights to pull his hand away, but Castiel holds him still, his scowl growing even deeper. “Why would you think…”

“Dean,” Castiel says, and—of course he would think that. At the first sign of confrontation, Dean always attempts to deflect and avoid the conversation. This is no different—except now, it directly involves him, and he can’t escape. “You know I enjoy our talks.”

“Jesus Christ.” Kill me, kill me now. He hides behind his hands in the hopes that when he opens his eyes, that Castiel will be gone. No such luck. “Look, it’s… Do you think this is a mistake?”

Smooth, Winchester.

Castiel leans back in his chair, his hands sliding until they fall off the table and into his lap. Botox couldn't cure the creases in his forehead, now. “Are you doubting yourself?”

“No, I’m…” A breath. He runs his fingers through his hair. “We just got you back, man. I just got you back, and it’s… It’s been a hell of a few months, and now, we’ve just had sex three times in the last, what, four hours?” He laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t fuck on the first date, Cas. In fact, I haven’t fucked anyone at all in a while.”

Castiel’s glare eases as something dawns, something Dean doesn’t want to even think about. Life has a habit of slamming into him like a Mack truck, though. “You want this to mean something.”

“Yeah.” Dean bows his head. “Sex is… It’s always been an escape to me, a way to just… forget about the bullshit. For an hour or two, the hunts, Sam, my dad’s fucking voice in my head… none of it matters. But it’s never meant anything, y’know?” He scrubs his jaw. “I just got you back, and I… I don’t wanna lose you again, not because of some stupid curse.”

“Dean.” This time when Castiel says his name, it’s soft, imploring. He takes Dean’s hand, his palm still damp but his fingers so gentle, so kind. He presses Dean’s knuckles to his lips, and Dean’s heart threatens to burst. “Can I confide in you?”

Dean nods.

continue reading on ao3

#my writings #destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #hello everyone i'm still alive!!#i'm just having the world's worst case of writer's block!!

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ode-to-odes · 7 months

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RPG Review: Journey of 1000 Zips

Well... if it's listed on itch as an RPG, then that's what it is... right?? In any case, this was one of the evenings I've ever had. Truly spectacular.

To play this game, you open 1000 nested zip files. Every file is numbered, so you can see how far you have left to go, and occasionally Elliot (@morebluebs) has left a comment in a file name. It's a dialogue between two people slowly losing their minds, in a way.

I spent two hours of my life on this game, and to be completely honest, I wish I hadn't. I also think Elliot wishes he hadn't made it, so at least all's fair in love and zipped files. This "game" is only for those with immense hubris and a growing to-do list filled with tasks they don't want to complete. That said, I'd rate it a 10/10 if I were a rating type of woman, which I'm not.

In order to keep myself sane, I took notes on the thoughts going through my mind as I played this game. Read under the cut to witness my descent into madness. Perhaps that will be enough to deter you from playing it yourself.

File 999. Let's do it.

950. I appreciate the title. Hoping for more of these as we keep going

900. No, it wasn’t that bad. I don’t know why I’m not listening to music while I do this. Perhaps I intuitively understand that this needs to be done in as boring an environment as possible.

899. okay

819. AH!

801. wouldn’t open. I’ve been opening these within each other, so I assume 200 nested files is the limit on my laptop. I moved file 802 to be by itself in my downloads folder and tried again. 801 opened. Huzzah, and the journey continues.

I also can’t believe this took Elliot over a year to make this. I assume this was a boredom and procrastination project. Kudos for ever finishing it tbh

800. I know. I’m doing it anyway

750. doesn’t have a comment in the file name. I didn’t realize I’d started to look forward to the names ever fifty files. Disappointed, I carry on.

743. I see we’re being unpredictable. Does the creator know that by making the opening of each file a gamble, opening these becomes more fun? Belatedly I realize that the opening of file 750 marked a quarter of the journey. Am even more disappointed op didn’t say anything to commemorate this moment.

700. I lost the ability to quit when I opened the first file. I’m committing to the bit. Fuck you.

650. once again, no mid-hundred title. I’m taking this moment to comment that as I do this, my sister is sitting next to me watching a frankly terrible horror movie. I am, I think, ashamed to say I find this activity more enjoyable.

627. Divisible by three, but not by nine.

608. Huzzah! My sister has decided to skip ahead in her movie because it’s boring her. I cannot do the same for my chosen entertainment tonight.

607 is empty. I tried opening it again. 607 2 is also empty. Migration attempt incoming.

Second migration of the night worked. continuing on. While I can’t say I’m enjoying this anymore, I’m glad that this does in fact appear to be 1000 nested files. I would never forgive Elliot if it ended prematurely

600. Don’t ask me to explain my decisions.

564. Elliot, do you feed on the part of my soul that I’m losing while playing this?

525. What does carpal tunnel feel like?

499. I feel nothing.

492. My sister asked me what I was doing. I explained to her. She asked me why I was doing this. I told her I didn’t know. She said nothing and then left. About as much of a response as I could’ve hoped for

461. Hey now. I could have done any number of things to procrastinate. You’re not special, Elliot.

432. Also divisible by three. Obviously I’m not listing every number divisible by three. But it just occurred to me here. As long as I’m taking a break from clicking, I’m going to move from the kitchen to my bedroom now that my sister has finished her movie and gone to bed. My wrist won’t stop cracking.

40 minutes later and I’m back at it.

425. In anticipation of the next file failure, I migrate this one earlier. plus if there’s a comment on 420 I can enjoy it unimpeded by the 200 file limit

407. A number that feels like it should be prime but isn’t

351. This isn’t getting any easier. However, it isn’t getting harder, either. That forty minute break did wonders for the one wrist muscle I’m using to do this.

333. Roughly 2/3 of the way there, although obviously not exactly. I think it would be an interesting psychology study to see how different people react to having to do this.

321. favorite one so far, definitely made me smile

294. Some people could probably find it in them to quit now.

284. I believe it. Why would you make this. Just to prove you could? Was 1000 the maximum files you could nest, or could you have kept going? Maybe one day we’ll have a sequel and it’ll just be 2000 files. I’d probably play that too. I don’t know why. But I think I would.

260. Another migration. This was definitely less than 200 files, but whatever. Will migrate again at 100 for the auspiciousness.

250. 75% done. I started this an hour and forty minutes ago. 100 minutes ago. So probably half an hour left. It feels like it should be less.

219. If I told my mom about this, she’d probably tell me that downloading things like this off the internet is a one way trip to getting malware on your computer. While I trust itch.io strangers much more than she does, can you imagine explaining that to the person you hire to fix your computer? “Yeah, I downloaded a file off the internet. It contained 1000 zip files nested within each other. I opened every single one and then the last one had this gnarly virus.” Like,,,,, you’d really be bringing that upon yourself. My friend hopes the last file contains something; he predicts the game of thrones shame gif. While I’d appreciate a fun little image, I fully expect there to be nothing except the last file just being called something like “you did it. Congrats on the most pointless accomplishment ever” well. Back to it

198. Elliot, if you had to go through the pain of making this, some of us might as well go through the pain of playing it.

175. I realized I forgot to point out 197, which is the Pokédex number for umbreon, my favorite Pokemon. home stretch.

135. I’m obviously tired. I did the math all wrong. Forgot to subtract the forty minutes I spent not doing this. This began at roughly 8:40 PM. It’s 10:34. So 1 hour 54 minutes minus forty. 74 minutes to open 865 files. Those numbers aren’t nice enough for me to do mental math, but I think I’ll be done in like ten minutes. Lets go!!

117. marks the first time the zipped file had a comment. Before this you had to unzip the file to see the comment. Which begs the question, is this something Elliot changed partway through, or will this be the only time it happens? I guess we’ll see.

I also realized 111 will be the last time we have repeating digit in a 3 digit number. 999 was the first… how far we’ve come.

111!!!! I feel like Elliot a bit. Is anyone going to read this? Am I screaming to the void?? Par for the course, I suppose.

100. Zipped file also has the comment. Clearly Elliot didn’t know how to do it differently at first. Anyway. Time for the final migration!

85. Seeing 2-digit numbers is jarring after all this time.

69 nice.

40. You know what would be so fucking funny? If we got to file 1 and it was labeled 1000 and then there were 1000 more files. I know Elliot didn’t do this - he doesn’t have it in him. But it would be so fucked up. I think that would make me quit. 1000 is enough

19. My favorite number. I can’t believe this is almost over.

2. This is it.

#rpg #rpg review #solo rpg #I think this is a GREAT first game to review #maybe I should just stop here #jk #but it's very me to make a blog to review text-based/journaling/solo rpgs #and have the first one be a game that's not even actually a game #or an rpg #despite being listed as one #perhaps someday we'll get into what an rpg is exactly and whether or not this counts as one #thanks elliot for this terrible evening i owe u one

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echonvoid · 1 year

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Fuck my carpal tunnel my arm has been fucking hurting like hell. Have some slightly older Ninjago art that I was waiting to post for when I had all my headcanons legibly typed out. That’s most definitely not happening right now. So have the art!

And don’t worry I’ll eventually add the others to the beach day. And fuck I keep forgetting morro and that is a sin against the gods themselves.

But I swear I’ll post headcanons and shit. This is all apart of a rewrite au with more gay, nonhumans and believable trauma responses that have lasting impacts

A/N: if anyone wants to do image descriptions

I would be so fucking happy. With my arm and almost all my time devoted to taking care of my grandma (dementia can go fuck itself) I just have no fucking energy left. But I am all about disability aids and hate I don’t have any for the visually impaired.

Love y’all!

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10kko · 11 months

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already gave my thoughts on it on stream but here we go. uhh, yeah touhou 19 sure is a phantasmagoria game.

it was a bit disappointing that there wasn’t anything new besides what was shown in the announcement. which.. sounds kinda weird now that im writing it but idk, they could’ve not shown the available roster to keep it a surprise for the demo at least. but also maybe im too used to the experience of getting 3 new characters right off the bat.

i like the new changes to the gameplay, particulary that you can now hold down Z (!!!) instead of getting carpal tunnel. and bombs are back. there’s also something going on with the way the battles play out, like you gotta wait for the AI to do some special spell card attack to beat ‘em? if there’s some way to trigger it that i didn’t get because, japanese, then sure, very welcome change to make the fights more snappy. if that spell card happens whenever the AI feels like it then, it’s still pretty much waiting for the AI to fuck up which is, the main reason i dont like phantasmagoria games. there’s just no clear indication of when you’re doing things right, or rather no way to do things right.

graphically the game looks amazing, following in the same style of UM. everything just pops out and is so full of color. ZUN has gotten increasingly better at art, im a really big fan of this new style. also goddamn the new boss sprites look so good i love them, kinda reminds me of the sprites from Gouyoku Ibun (i did hear it was a Twilight Frontier artist who did them so, checks out)

i didn’t really expect a lot of music, but what is there is nice. reimu and marisa got new themes which... honestly it’s gonna be pretty hard to replace the ones we already know but, good attempt. i don’t know why they act as regular stage themes too? like they can replace the ones from other characters, i don’t know what’s up with that. also aunn has an arrangement of her theme, while seiran and nazrin have arrangements of the stage theme where they appear, which i found a bit weird. they’re all pretty good tho, nazrin’s i found to be a bit weak? i think i honestly prefer the UFO version of that one but, it’s fine.

anyways, pretty good demo. some bugs here and there which is, to be expected. and p1 is set to gamepad by default which makes sense but uh, no. i can’t talk about the plot because no tl but i kinda doubt there’s gonna be much of that with this few characters. again i wish there could’ve been at least one new face to talk about but, guess we’ll have to wait until the full release for that.

STAY BELIEVING MIMAMANIACS

#touhou #textkko

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iconicanemone · 2 years

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We, as in myself and the people who seem to be surrounding me, are short selling ourselves for pennies

This is a post mainly for the younger artists. Those who’s main source of commissions use da points or some other virtual currency. Please reblog and share this so the people who need to read this will see it.

Essay under cut, as well as more in-depth pricing by professionals linked at the bottom of the post.

TL;DR: If you take a half an hour on an art piece, price it $5 minimally. Then price your stuff at around $5 every half hour it takes. No this isn’t overpricing yourself. It’s still underpricing.

Just today as I start writing this, my sister came to me and my mom asking if we could meet up with a stranger who was buying her car, so we can get the check for her.

I went, haha, you can pay me $20 to do that. But then my mom and sister were like ‘that’s cheap’, so I bumped it to $50, and then $75.

But then my mom turns around and asks for $200, which both her and my sister agreed that was reasonable, as it would leave my sister with over $500 net value (the amount of money you get in the end)

And that hit me. And it, along with professional suggestions that I’ve looked at in the past and absorbed into my subconscious, as well as seeing people go “I can do 200-300 da points for a ref sheet!” Made me stop, spin around, and think.

If we go by my own conversions, 100 da points equals $1. A reference sheet is one fullbody minimum. So you’re basically doing a fullbody for $2-3 bucks, or even 50¢ as I’ve seen some people.

Now, I get it. I ended up surrounded by people who are minors. Those below age 19 who don’t have experience, and who may have a stable household. But, here, let me phrase it this way.

Your clients, the people paying for your art, aren’t just paying for art. They’re paying for your time and experience.

I take 30 minutes per piece of art on average, the numbers taken from the month of August, which has a variety of a sketchy headshot, and a full scene with a background, all colored and shaded, with some as exceptions. As thus, I will be using the $ per half hour phrasing instead of the $ per hour phrasing professionals use. I will also be doing $5 a half hour. While yes, professionals such as the animators who host BamAnimations recommend $15 an hour for teenagers, half of that is $7.50. $5 is a simpler number to do math with.

So for me, the shortest timeframe I took of a Art piece was a fully shaded sketchy headshot at 9 minutes. And the highest was a fully shaded scene, with extra sketchy not colored characters in the background, at 2 hours and 3 minutes.

As you can see, that is a wide range. You may think that $5 is too much for a 9 minute sketchy headshot, but you should agree that $5 is way too little for a piece that takes 123 minutes. And I am a faster artist, so your time may vary, but anything that takes over 30 minutes should cost more than $5.

If you still believe that the price to half hour I listed is too much, let me also point out the other thing that your client is paying for. Your experience. In this case, I’m not just talking about what you did to learn how to draw. I’m talking about that, in addition to how much time you’ve practiced drawing, as well as what you sacrificed to get to your level of drawing. That could be the cost of the equipment to draw, like a tablet or a drawing program. Or it could be a drawing related injury such as carpal tunnel.

My experience includes this. I started drawing more frequently in 2019, which as of 2022 is over 3 years. That’s the time I’ve spent drawing. I also have used my time watching videos about how to draw, which has increased my quality and time of my art. And while I may not have paid any money to make any of my digital art, I started drawing traditionally, which the sketch books I bought did cut into my budget. And on top of that, when I first dove into digital art in 2020, I made a grave mistake which injured my right arm, rendering it in pain and unusable for months afterwards. That also injured my left arm due to overuse, and I am still feeling the repercussions of that over 2 years later.

Quick tip for people who want to get into digital art. Do NOT use a laptop mousepad to draw.

As you’ve seen, my experience should qualify me to more than that $5 a half an hour baseline. And even if you are only just now starting to get into drawing, you should keep in mind how much time you spend on a drawing, how much time did you spend learning how to draw? How much money did you spend on your drawing journey? And what other sacrifices did you make to get where you are on your drawing journey?

The next step would be to figure out how to price things. Canonkiller (link at end of essay) has a good chart on how to price things, though they use the $15 an hour method. I sincerely recommend their document a read, as they go more into pricing, boundaries, and payment options. But I’ll be using their math here.

Their math starts with the lowest option, a sketchy headshot, and goes to the highest option, a shaded fullbody, and only includes a halfbody/waist up as the other size option. A sketchy headshot is the base price $5. Then lines raises that price by x1.5, which is $7.50. Color raises the price x2, which is $10, and shading raises that to x3, which is $15. Then when the size bumps up to a halfbody, the sketch price goes up to x2 the base price, making it $10, and then the other math follows. This will lead to the shaded halfbody being $30. Fullbody raises the sketch price to x4 the base price, leading the sketchy price $20, and shaded price being $60.

You are probably thinking that this is a lot. And here’s the thing. It is a lot. But here’s the thing. Canonkiller used a $15 base value. Which made the shaded fullbody price to be $180. And that’s just for a shaded fullbody with a simple or transparent background. And Canonkiller said that $180 for a shaded fullbody is still underpaying.

But perhaps $5 a half hour is a better way of decreasing the time of the pricing? Let’s take the 123 minutes from the art piece that took me longest to do, rounding the number up to 125 for easy math. It ends up to be $25. That seems like a lower number. But the math and timing you have to do to figure that pricing out probably isn’t worth it. And you may take more time than I did. But the thing is people are doing this kind of art or more for $5. At the most. You should stop doing that. Just stop it. Take down your commission prices and look up videos on money and business if you need to. And even if you still think it’s a lot, and that you won’t get any commissions like this, BamAnimations said that it’s better to take fewer commissions for more, instead of more commissions for less. It’s better for your health and your pocketbook.

Here’s the thing. I didn’t write this to babble about math, and shame you for pricing your art at 50 da points. I wrote this for the people who think that their art is worth that little. I wrote this for the people who don’t realize they are underpricing themselves. I wrote this for myself. And I wrote this for you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go adjust my own prices accordingly.

Please watch these guys’ videos. Not only for their pricing opinions. But for their quirky and fun videos teaching art at a professional animator level.

Bam Animation: https://youtu.be/ghQNQNzFmT4

And read this guy’s document. It not only shows a way you should price your stuff, but also it explain how minors (under 18) can get paid with actual money, and how you can set boundaries no matter what others may say.

CanonKiller: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cKFMOQiYl8hdLEFzuuQ8nsMV4Gpwd44oVF4PMstwS7k/edit

If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know. And please share this with people you think that need to read this.

#Artblr #art #digital art #artistblr #artist alley #please spread the word

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anotherseverussnapelover · 9 months

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Ok folks,

Should I make a tik tok account to speak about why I've to starve myself to be taken seriously by doctors ?

🚨 TW : Fatphodia, médical violence 🚨

Hear me out :

I've been fat since I was 3yo - obese since I was 6 (yes I did diets, yes I did sports (up to 8h/week besides PE in school), yes I've seen many doctors)

I easily gain weight since I have a 56% of the genes that ease obesity (according to DNA analysis that was made when I was around 12 for research purpose)

I have had a surgery cuting 2/3 of my stomach ~10 years ago

I lost 60 kg in ONE YEAR and the surgeon who did the surgery told me that I will NEVER be under 100kg since I never have since I stopped growing (and this means that I will ALWAYS be obese according to BMI)

When I was around 100kg, I had many health issues : dizziness (lasted up to 1,5 month, when weather/shower is warmer than 25°C), low blood pressure (down to 8/6), VERY PAINFUL PERIOD, ARTHRITIS, and the list can go on. Which eased or DISAPPEARED when I gained weight again.

So why now ?

Because I've been to my GP a few days ago, because my arthritic knee has been hurting and swollen for 2 weeks, since I hurt myself during a physiotherapy appointment (2 to 3 app. a week for 3 years now and it's a lifelong situation since it's a degenerative condition). And since my period was about to begin, I've had the "usual" inflammatory response so some other articulations was swollen too, especially my wrist which I had a surgery on like 4 months ago.

As I already knew it, it's a twisted knee (for like the 12th or 13th time in 15 years, and no, I can't wear a brace, since my knees are making an X and the surgery that could have prevent both the twisting and the arthritis was refused because of 🥁🥁🥁 MY WEIGHT).

BUT, when I asked about applying for a Recognition as a disabled worker, which basically compel my boss to adapt my post (the most part being working remotely since some days I can't drive because of the pain, and even 10 minutes of driving CAN CAUSE pain) and being paid from the first day of sick leave when I need one because of my knee (according to the law, you're not paid for the 3 first day of a sick leave, and then you go back to work or the NHS compensates the loss), he opposed me that I need to lose weight before speaking about this recognition like. What ?

THIS IS A DEGENERATIVE CONDITION. IT WILL NEVER HEAL. IT WILL ONLY GET WORST.

LOSING WEIGHT WILL JUST BRING UP OTHER ISSUES, WHICH ARE OTHERWISE DISABLING (e.g when I can't walk straight nor drive because of dizziness, can't take a hot shower because it causes dizziness, can't move for days because of period's pain, etc. see above)

He told me that my wrist which I had a surgery on will probably always hurt because it can happen when the carpal tunnel syndrome is too advanced AND GUESS WHO'S THE ONE THAT DIDN'T WANT TO ADDRESS ME TO A NEUROLOGIST FOR 15 YEARS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T BELIEVE IT WAS THAT ????!!! AND IT WAS ??!! AND IT WAS WAY MUCH WORST THAN EXPECTED??!!!

And that's just for the actual GP, because I've almost NEVER met a physician who didn't lectured me about my weight, EVEN WHEN I DIDN'T COME FOR THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE (I literally went to a physician to fulfill paperworks, HE LECTURED ME FOR 20 MINUTES ABOUT WHY I SHOULD LOSE WEIGHT, the anaesthesist I met prior to my wrist surgery DID THE SAME, EXCUSE ME BIATCH, IT WILL NOT CHANGE WITHIN 10 DAYS, and, OF COURSE the anesthesia became a fucking trauma because she didn't sent the right infos to the surgery aisle, my prior GP I've met when I was in internship in Paris told me to DO ANOTHER A SURGERY TO REDUCE MY STOMACH, and so on, once again)

So, since I'm not listened to, nor taken seriously, I decided to lose weight by the only efficient way so far : starving myself (100g of white rice, 100g of kimchi, 2 eggs, 2 toasts, 2 milk coffees and 1 milk tea a day), no matter what happens.

#tw fatphobia #tw medical #tw violence #i'm fucking tired #fatphobia #medical violence #obesity

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crazy56u · 1 year

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Well, it's been three weeks, and apparently it's now a straight shot to the season finale with no breaks in sight, let's go.

Last time on Quantum Leap, Ian caused the plot. Meanwhile, in Hell's Kitchen...

I never had Indian food, I've always wanted to try it.

"You've gotta stop eating the merchandise." Out of context, that's a drug dealer line.

Okay, so that memorial Ben passed was the dad, I had a hunch.

I choose to believe Ian was staring at that drawing for all three weeks.

"Did you leap?" Well, not yet, Magic, catch the fuck up.

Also, I'm pretty fucking sure Ian leaping occurs in the season finale.

"Not you you, just future you." Distinction without a difference.

Meanwhile, Ben's back in the same fucking alley from the 1980s.

OH fuck, why is Ben in 2009...

The editor is having epilepsy.

I love the implication that Addison just knew that off the top of her head, and she didn't need Ziggy for it.

"HEY RANDOM PERSON TALKING TO THEMSELVES, IT'S MUGGING TIME!"

Ah. A landlord. Starting to piece together why the building burned down.

"Look, you want your money, I don't wanna be choked, life's shit for everyone."

Addison, he's clearly fucking lying, keep up.

"This is your last chance. We both know there's a good chance I'm the one who causes the building to catch fire. I ain't fucking around."

...okay, is that foreshadowing that Ben's about to cause this mom's heart attack as well?

"What's all this?" A giant iPad, obviously.

Look, Ian, I get it, you're stressed out about causing the show to happen in the future, but take a breath.

"No one here believes you're a risk. Janis is more of a threat than you, and we still have her locked in the broom closet!"

"We owe $30,000, just get an extension, you're acting like she tried to murder you in the alley!"

"Web-sheb". Not entirely convinced that wasn't supposed to be "web shit".

Oh God, that beast of a computer...

Why is this turning into the plot of Ratatouille?

"They were going to see the pyramids this year." Calling it now, that was supposed to be the episode, but budget cuts happened.

Ben Song: Can handle space, but not family trauma.

Corpse or Sleep?

Sleep.

Bro wants to ditch work to grab sick kicks, right as the mom is experiencing carpal tunnel.

Okay, this really is Hell's Kitchen if all of these conflicts are snowballing into one clump...

I hope "Dimpy" is actually a nickname, but chances are it's not.

Okay, so, let's total it up: Massive debt, stuck on the past, lingering presence of dead father, baby mama drama, skipping work for new shoes, nerve damage, and pride above all else. And a fire as the bow on top.

200 people in 2009, that's basically the end of days.

Someone's about to get slapped.

"See, this is how you react, being upset that I said your dreams are bullshit!"

[This is the most fucking ominous commercial for Airbnb...]

I was so distracted by Ian's sick tattoos, I failed to realize Ian got a subplot this week.

[As a sidenote, my stance is that people are only complaining about the Project subplots because the show is stuck to 42 minutes a pop; not nearly as many people would be complaining if the episodes were a few minutes longer. The Project subplots aren't bad, the episodes are just compact.]

"Didn't you just call me useless?" "Stop focusing on the past!" "Kinda difficult for that!"

"What else you can do to save a restaurant other than bring in new customers?" ...burn it down the the insurance money is my immediate answer, but I don't think that applies this time...

[I was busy blowing my nose, I missed all of Ben's phone call.]

The mom's impatience going to fucking be the death of her.

"Only in America" will wear itself out pretty fucking quick, ma'am. Trust me...

Annnnnnd the heart attack.

...why am I not surprised Ian was a "Pretty Little Liars" fan?

Is it just me, or does she look like Mila Kunis?

And the mom is still on the floor...

And Ben now has PTSD...

"Your mom had an aneurysm. She didn't. Get the fucking first aid kit."

Okay, I have to side with the mom on this one about the world being harsh, but only because she's in 2009, and I'm in 2023, and I know how bad it gets.

Okay, so now it's 300 people, now it's the end times.

Meanwhile in Oregon, I guess...

They're having out at a pizza place, this episode is clearly inspired by Pizza Tower.

The American Dream = Greasy cheese pizza.

Look, to be fair, spicy food has caused lawsuits. Google "Doritos Roulette".

...okay, calling it now, the landlord got impatient.

Can't tell if CGI or actual explosion...

"2% is low, but not zero." Quantum Leap is an educational show.

AND I'm pretty sure I was right about the landlord.

"Just because we don't have a restaurant doesn't mean we don't have a restaurant!"

Ben's about to invent the pop up restaurant.

[Firefox is lagging the fuck out right now.]

I wonder how much money they spent renting out this location, because 100% not a set...

"Everything you do, you do for a good reason." There, you see, Ian's justified in causing the show to happen.

This looks like a wedding reception.

"I tracked down a few weddings-" CALLED IT

All it took for her to let people in was the landlord being a bitch.

"And so a child will lead them", quite literally.

[Seriously, Firefox is taking a minute to finish adding the sentence I typed in 20 seconds.]

All of this sick ass food is making me regret having pasta alfredo for dinner.

"We'll be serving family style." Mic drop.

I swear to God if the landlord is holding up the investor...

"Ironically, he has food poisoning..." That doesn't negate my guess...

Did they just invent Patreon in 2009?

And the landlord is SEETHING off in the distance.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, FUCK YOU KATHY! GO DOWN IN FLAMES LIKE AL CAPONE!

"You two don't need me." Okay, is it bad that I thought she'd immediately have a heart attack then and there?

[It's down to the wire, Firefox is on its last legs...]

And Ben's reward for saying "I love you, Mom"? Playing Battleship with Brandon Routh.

Holy shit, that boat CGI was bad...

[Also, why do I get the suspicion the plot of next week's episode involves preventing World War III?]

Well, I managed to finish the liveblog, in spite of Firefox slowly dying!

Burn in Hell, Kathy.

#quantum leap #family style #spoilers #pizza tower #hell's kitchen #next episode promo #battleship

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solmxri · 10 months

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Rules, tag 10 followers you want to get to know better!

Tagged by: @fanaticist // thanks hun 😘😘😘

Tagging: steal it!

Name: tordo

Star Sign: pieces (sun) , scorpio (moon) , sagittarius (rising) !

Height: 5′7" ( 170 cm )

Middle name: don't got one uwu

Put your itunes/spotify/youtube on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?

Peace Sign (Remix) - Dj-Jo ft. Aruvn

Black Sheep - Kailee Morgue

Electric Angel - Yasuo ft. Kagamine Rin & Len

This Afternoon - Nickelback

Hunter - Ken Ashcorp

Carousel - Melanie Martines

Ever had a poem or song written about you: uhm.... does a hate poem count? if so yes uwu an ex gf of mine got a little too pissy over me breaking up with her and so she sent me a poem signed in her blood. good times.

When was the last time you played air guitar: this morning when i was rocking out to all hail shadow like the nerd i am

Who is your celebrity crush?: eh... don't got one. if the question was ' what my fictional crush ' i would with no hesitation say that it's Lelouch from code geass.

What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: i hate the sound of ripping paper, it just makes my skin crawl >:(

Do you believe in ghosts?: Ye! Because the one in my house refuses to let me forget his existence.

How about aliens: Yep! I just think they are scare of us because wtf we are doing to our own planet.

Do you drive?: I fucking wish!

if so have you ever crashed: does walking into a tree count?

Do you like the smell of gasoline: I like the smell of certain types of gasoline, all of them smell different to me but there's this one gas station where the gasoline just smells like cotton candy and i feel like i could get high off of that.

What was the last movie you saw?: Uhm.... I think was the first john wick movie.

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: Although i've had both of my arms completed dislocated before, it still compare to when i first got carpal tunnel. that's a whole other degree of pain omfg

Do you have any obsessions right now?: mechanical keyboards. i like the clicky sounds.

#( ✦ ) ─ DASH GAMES #( ✦ ) ─ OOC

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voidvale · 2 years

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I was writing a post on my Kevin design and realised it would make more sense if I wrote one for Cecil first!

When I first started drawing him, it didn't go super well?? Here's the first sketches from last year </3

The bottom left is still my fav out of these, but other people didn't care for it so I did the one that's colored. I definitely kept some aspects of that one but the design got a major revamp for sure.

This sketch page basically was when I got it down, I was like yes!! This is Cecil!! But he is still in dress clothes, booo. I do have that outfit irl, with the radio tie and everything. Might post it later! From here it just evolves with my style some. But there were other ✨features✨ I added later! Also headcanon Cecil has carpal tunnel.

Here's what I jokingly call Cecil's "fursona." My Cecil can sprout tentacles and eyes anywhere on his body, making it possible for him to be a huge ball of eyes and tentacles. Non-human Cecil believers rise up!!

I wanted to specify usually he uses 2 or 4 larger tentacles from his back to do things with! But say he was reaching something from a tall shelf, he would probably just use one from the tip of his finger.

I know the whole psychic eye thing is cliché, but it's so fun to make it super expressive!! Cecil third eye compilation to showcase that. I think his "omniscience" comes from him being able to tune in to people's thoughts like a radio. So he can see things through others' perceptions. I have more thoughts on this (especially Carlos's relationship with it) but this post is about ART not Cecil psychicness.

He also has alternate tentacles that are made from the same psychic energy as his eye! I drew them recently, but I want that to be it's own post :)

I have this alternate silly goofy cartoony style! Here's some of his impeccable fashion.

Lastly, the colors, I don't finish a lot of pieces, so here's a close up of the piece I already posted:

He OURPLE! (And hot pink) Out of all the colors people make Cecil's hair, I mostly see blonde and white/white and black. I like purple hair Cecil (with some graying), that's my jam. I also like the idea of him looking older. Is that canon? No, they seemingly keep enforcing that he looks young. But I will not be deprived of queen Cecil! He's an old queen queer, I say!!

Final note, my Cecil does have tattoos I just haven't came up with the design yet so for now, tatless.

I love talking about design and reasonings, I would read everybody's essay on their Cecil designs, honestly.

Thank you if you read all that, I love you mwah.

K e v i n next

#wtnv cecil #wtnv #welcome to night vale #cecil palmer #character design #this took a while to get together #wtnv fanart #void art

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purplesurveys · 1 year

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1603 - happy new year’s eve eve!

Have you done any of the same things as me? [2022 Edition] by joybucket

experienced something amazing and miraculous? 🤩 I’ve experienced amazing things like getting a new dog, seeing the sea, having profound conversations with a few Grab drivers, etc; but nothing miraculous mainly because I don’t believe in miracles.

switched to a new primary care doctor? I don’t even have a main doctor.

tried a new medication? 💊 Yes. When I sprained my ankle, the Good Samaritans who helped nurse my foot also gave me these capsules to take every 8 or so hours.

felt afraid to leave the house? Yes - that time in July when there was a shooting in Ateneo. My family was out that day and that scared me more, but I was staying at home at the time and thought under no circumstances was I going out that week. Kaye actually invited me to dinner NEAR THE DAMN PLACE and I had to tell her girl did you not know people literally got killed 8 hours ago? lol.

had a new neighbor move in? I can finally answer this question with a yes, lol. We didn’t have any nearby neighbors for at least like a decade, but in 2022 there was a family who moved in across us; the abandoned house beside ours also finally got renovated and another family is I believe currently renting the place.

met a new neighbor? I haven’t. We usually keep to ourselves but for the family who moved in across us this month I am thinking of sending them a little something.

read the entire Bible? 📖 I haven’t touched that book since high school.

had a smoothie that tasted really, really good? 🍹 I don’t like smoothies. I did try this great mocha nut latte earlier this month and discovered how fantastic chocnut works with coffee.

had some significant health issues? Other than my sprained ankle, my carpal tunnel syndrome acted up quite a bit this year.

made a lot of surveys? I’ve never made a survey.

taken a lot of surveys? Like any other year.

gave yourself a significant haircut? 💇‍♀️ I always have my hair professionally worked on, whether it’s a trim or dye job. I do not trust myself with a pair of scissors for anything haha.

discovered a new YouTube channel you really liked? Earlier this year I found Institute of Human Anatomy, who I bingewatched for a while. Bea also got me into Korean Englishman/Jolly. She’s been trying to get me on the train since 2021 actually, but it was only this year when my attention was finally caught.

discovered a new favorite book? 📖 I didn’t have any major book discoveries this year.

re-read a book you really liked? 📖 I re-discovered Midnight Sun when I found it in our storage (after thinking my mom threw it out), but I didn’t re-read it per se as I never finished it in the past.

debated reaching out to someone and asking for prayer, but didn't? 🙏 I do not ask for prayers, at least actively. People tell me they pray for me which is always appreciated as I know it must mean a lot for them to do so; but it’s not something I would take the initiative to ask for.

started taking a new birth control pill? I have never taken birth control.

experienced anaphylaxis? Nope.

...and then had to be on Prednisone for three months because of it? Nope, I don’t have regular medications.

gained weight from a medication? I didn’t.

...and then lost some of it once you were off the medication, but not all of it? I didn’t.

discovered you had steroid-induced diabetes? Nope.

daydreamed a lot? 💭 Probably, yeah.

had overdue library books? 📚 I haven’t been to a library, much less borrow a book, since pre-pandemic college, so no. I’ve always been terrible at returning books though and I always get that Look of Shock from librarians when they see the total of my overdue charges LOL so you were at least right about that.

worn a mask? 😷 Just about every time I’ve gone out! The government has lifted mask-wearing for both indoor and outdoor areas so technically we have the choice/freedom to go maskless now, but people in Manila are rather paranoid and prefer wearing a mask still – I do, too. Provinces though, I’ve observed that they are much less cautious and people hardly wear masks there anymore.

worn a mask when cleaning, because you're allergic to dust mites? 😷 I’m not allergic so I don’t wear a mask. I sneeze a lot though, lol.

went days without washing your hair? A few times, yes.

felt overjoyed one day and then depressed the next? It happens.

thought about how much you missed going to church? ⛪️ All I think about is when I can finally stop going, so no.

thought about how much you missed painting? 🖼 Yeah, a little bit! I had some paint-by-numbers stacked in my closet for a while - they were 2021 Christmas gifts that I never got around to sending out lol, and I was always getting that voice in my head asking what the fuck I wanted to do with them.

....and thought about how you'd like to start painting again? 🎨 Sure. The resolution to that ^ is that I finally pulled one of the packs out and started painting. Just this December, actually. I plan on continuing the template for the rest of the company break/shutdown.

found out that someone got hit by a car and died while crossing a street that you cross all the time? I unfortunately saw the aftermath of a very graphic motorcycle crash on Christmas Day, and that dude I saw with his face down was most likely a casualty. I don’t pass the area all the time, just whenever we head south; but it was still spooky nonetheless. More sad than spooky though, considering a family’s gonna have to find out they lost someone on Christmas Day.

enjoyed watching the snow fall? ❄️ I have never seen snow.

wished you had a car? 🚘 I already do.

talked to your mom on the phone? 📱 A few times, but they were always 15-second calls where either of us just ask the other something urgent.

talked to your mom online? 💬 Yeah, whenever she’s at work we communicate through Messenger.

realized none of your bras fit you anymore? Nope, they all still work just fine.

received a package in the mail? 📦 I mean this year was no different and I still bought stacks upon stacks of K-pop merch lol, so yes I did receive packages a handful of times.

started watching Youtube Shorts regularly? Oh I irrationally hate those. Trying so hard to be IG reels/TikTok lol when YouTube’s strong suit has always been longer videos.

practiced self-hypnosis? 😵 No, I don’t believe in hypnosis.

discovered a new food you really liked? Not food exactly but my mom got this tub of local vinegar called pinakurat that is SO good; works with any Filipino breakfast food. I ask for it all the time now.

discovered your bike had a flat tire? 🚴 Not my bike but our car! Happened on our way back to Manila from Zambales. We were a mere hundred meters away from the expressway (where my dad would’ve gone 90-100 kph) when we heard a loud pop. The place we got stuck at (Subic) is notably a safer city than other provinces so it was such a welcome surprise seeing Good Samaritans all over the damn road momentarily stop by and offer help – even more amazing was that the vice mayor of the city happened to drive by at the time and immediately stopped where we were to give tips about what we should do, where to go, who to talk to, etc. In the end, my dad was also able to get a lift from another Good Samaritan to the nearest vulcanizing shop to get the whole thing settled.

Touching show of humanity, but at the same time also gave me some sort of existential crisis because fuck knows what would have happened had we reached the freeway and had the tire pop there instead.

made a new playlist of songs you really liked? 🎶 My sister and I made a few Blended playlists on Spotify but that’s about it.

got rid of a ton of old clothes? 👚 Not yet at least. But I’m planning on gathering clothes I know longer use and giving them to Reena to sell, all profit hers. Poor girl got scammed 20k recently and I just want to help.

ran/walked a Christmas-themed race? 🏃‍♀️ You will never find me in a race/fun run/marathon haha.

watched your city's Christmas parade? We don’t have one.

enjoyed eating salads? 🥗 Just tuna sashimi salads.

enjoyed eating chocolate pie? I’ve never had chocolate pie.

celebrated Thanksgiving alone? I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

celebrated your birthday alone? I wasn’t alone. I was with my family on the day of; that same weekend my friends and I set off to Zambales for a quick beach trip.

didn't really have a good birthday? No, I had a fantastic one this year.

almost died multiple times? Apart from the time I had a bad fall in the bathroom and could have cracked my skull if not for the instinct of tucking my head, no.

enjoyed reading the Bible? 📖 I never enjoyed reading it and have no plans of touching one again.

danced around your living room? 💃 Sure, a few times.

written in cursive? ✍️ Yeah I practiced every now and then so that my penmanship doesn’t get rusty.

written in a journal? 📓 I have this account. I don’t write in journals because my mom is likely to snoop around.

written in a one-line-a-day journal? 📔 No, I don’t really do that when I have whole-ass surveys to fill out haha.

accidentally dropped a dish and broke it? Not a plate. But just this month my dad and I were unloading groceries when I dropped a tub of mayonnaise LOL. Luckily enough my dad got the one with plastic packaging that day, so the only thing that got damaged was the seal. Had we gotten the variant with glass packaging I would have gotten a mouthful.

went for a walk through the cemetery on Halloween? We went to a columbarium on All Souls’ Day (pretty close to Halloween, so I’ll count it) to visit my grandpa.

not brought your camera with you somewhere, and then wished you had? 📸 Not necessarily but I’ve had my phone die on me when I was at the beach wanting to take photos of the sunset.

discovered a new really good book? Nope.

read a book with a character named Simone in it? I did not.

had a doctor get irritated with you? Nah. I went to a couple dentists this year and they couldn’t have been nicer.

had a doctor not believe you about something? Nope.

broke out in acne all over your face? I had a few pimples show up here and there. I wouldn’t call it a breakout though.

found out one of your friends had COVID? 🦠 Yeah. People are still getting Covid all over the place but it’s no longer as bad or feared about as it used to be. “She got Covid” is just about as scary as “She has a fever” now.

wondered if you had COVID? 🦠 Every time I come home from being in an overcrowded place. Never got it though.

played Mahjong on your phone? 🀄️ I don’t even know how that works, so no.

used a lot of emojis? 🦄 🤪 💃 I use emojis frequently, but always the same ones. I have little use for the majority of them.

wore a cheetah-print mask? Nope.

worshiped God? 💃 Nooooooooooooope.

uploaded some new photos to Facebook? Yes, when Kimi passed I uploaded photos of me and him, photos of his urn, and Cooper and Agi standing beside the urn. I also always uploaded post-concert photos at the end of all of BTS’ online shows this year.

sorted through some old photos on your computer? Yeah, a few times.

wondered why your fridge was making funny noises? It didn’t.

gone for lovely and enchanting walks in the fall? 🍁 We don’t have fall.

wore the same outfit for days? Like, without washing? Eugh, hahaha. No. I do repeat outfits but I make sure it’s been like a month since I last wore a particular top-bottom pairing.

worn slipper socks? I didn’t this year.

gone out to eat with your parents? I took them out for dinner, just the two of them, earlier this year; but for the most part they prefer me to take the whole family out i.e. including my siblings, if I was going to give a treat.

enjoyed looking at your friends' baby pictures on Facebook? None of them have kids.

wondered what one of your friends was going to name her baby? We talk about it all the time.

wished someone would invite you to church, but no one did? Not applicable.

took more medication than you were supposed to when you were in severe pain? Not necessarily but I did take some desperate measures when I was dealing with wisdom tooth pain, pre-extraction. I strapped a cold compress to my face and also rubbed Katinko hoping it would feel numb.

wished autocorrect didn't make so many annoying errors? Well, not really. I just turned it off because autocorrect is an utter bitch when I’m typing in Filipino.

wished your cramps would go away? Don’t we always wish they would, when they do come?

enjoyed having a conversation with a random stranger while waiting in line for something? Not while waiting in line, but whenever I take a Grab on the way to a destination. I always make it a point to make conversation with my drivers because 1) everyone else probably wants a silent ride and I can’t imagine how lonely the drivers feel driving strangers all day, and 2) you wouldn’t believe the amazing conversations that can sometimes come out of those moments.

wished you could see your cousins more? Yeah, especially cousins on my dad’s side.

thought about how much you used to love church? No.

had a certain traumatic incident keep coming back to haunt you? Not so much, no.

debated trying to get to know your neighbors more? Sure.

not eaten anything sweet on your birthday? This is true! I don’t really like cake, so I never planned on getting one made.

....for the first time ever, since you normally eat cake on your birthday? Nah, I’ve had a few birthdays with no cake.

eaten a lot of mango popsicles? I’ve never even had one.

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bloomingonionbitch · 1 year

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Since we're sharing P!ATD stories...buckle up!

I'm originally from the Chicago suburbs (which is also an annoying personality trait) and I was 13 years old, heavily layering tank tops from Kohl's over v-neck shirts.

It's May 2008 and me and these two super cool older girls from Elmhurst (whom I met at Fine Arts Camp @ Saint Mary's College in South Bend, Indiana) went to Honda Civic Tour at the Congress Theatre in Chicago (RIP).

It was my first concert *ever* and I cannot believe how lucky I was to have it filmed. I got that hideous beige/brown Pretty.Odd sweatshirt (see attached for example) and wore it over everything because I believed I had hypohidrosis (spoiler: it was all the layered tank tops from Kohl's).

Motion City Soundtrack, Phantom Planet, and The Hush Sound were incredible openers and I have yet to have a more satisfying line up. BUT. It was at the concert that I had my first seizure! Rewind a second!

I grew up on Neopets and Flash Games and supported my friends who were really good at drawing Sonic the Hedgehog. I was on the computer *a lot.* So when the fingers in my left hand were going numb, it was dismissed as carpal tunnel - easy enough.

Now fast forward to me being such an amped up, cradle Catholic, Peggy Hill-footed teenager. I'm in ecstasy, feeling like the true Fueled By Ramen ™ teen that I knew I was inside. I'm sweaty, I'm scrunched against other people, I'm having an awakening!!!

But then my fingers go number and half of my face does too and I'm thinking it's adrenaline and hormones and Jon Walker - so I keep going. It eventually subsides, then happens again a few days later, and again, and again...for months.

Scooch ahead a little more - my mom advocates for an MRI and we get one, a then few weeks pass.

After going to ~LINCOLNSHIRE~ with my grandma and mom to see "Mama Mia" (on the day before I am set to start *THE* 8th grade), we get a call from my pediatrician that I need to go to the hospital ASAP. Turns out I have a "goober" in my brain and a "goober" is what you call a tumor when you're explaining it to a kid you helped bring into this world. Shout out to the emotional labor of doctors, for real.

I can do a "House"-style medical breakdown later and talk about my surgery/proton radiation, BUT I would much rather talk about all of my Make-A-Wish trip ideas, ripped straight outta 2008!!!

1. Visit the set of "Project Runway" and hang out with Tim Gunn.

2. A pink digital camera - literally, that was it. And you know the one I'm talking about. My Wish Granters were like....you can probably get that on your own sweetie...

3. Be on an episode of TAI TV (remember that!?) If you must know, I had big dumb crushes on Ryland and Sisky.

4. Meet Katy Perry??? (I don't know what we would have talked about or done together...I knew nothing about anything).

5. American Eage shopping spree (in retrospect, their clothes never really fit right and I only wanted to recreate the high of wearing a lace cami under a turquoise henley sweater with a pink skinny scarf at my first middle school dance - it was as much of a "Laguna Beach" moment as I could have).

- Meet Jon Walker - not all of Panic! just Jon. WILD!!!!! Imagine!!!

Dear reader...do you want to know what I chose?

A trip to Turks and Caicos! A place I had never heard of! I got my period for the first time and we could only find cardboard, "old-school" tampons and I was FREAKING OUT. I also got a wicked sunburn (Trileptal folks!) and got sick on an unlimited supply of Boursin whipped cheese spread. Two of my brothers are redheads who do not like the beach! They were so fussy! Turks and Caicos is a lot of beach!

Please please believe me, I am unbelievably thankful for my wish (and health and life and time) and the Granting team, but have any other Make-A-Wish kids spent time thinking about alllllll the other wish possibilities?

I'm not even talking about reflecting back and considering more "practical" (which is bananas to say considering the context), but just like how my interests have changed?

In high school (and probably now, too), I was kicking myself for not using my wish to meet Jason Segel? I still have a massive crush on him, but imagine them calling him up to meet a random kid who picked him as her Make-A-Wish? (This was pre "End of the Tour" and "Muppets" for him - it only was "How I Met Your Mother" and "Freaks and Geeks" for him).

I'm 15 years in remission and doing just fine! I haven't talked about (or processed) personal health stuff very much, so thanks for letting me take a moment from reblogging transparent Snoopy sticker scans and Nora Ephron film stills to reflect on the end of an era.

#tw cancer #panic! at the disco #p!atd #2008 #yall i know it's a stretch but are any of yall pediatric cancer survivors too because i have a lot of questions #thanks yall for real for real #ya girl's glonky

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