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#i can barely take care of myself but people still want so much from me and if i can't give them that it's my fault
mrsnancywheeler · 3 days
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can’t help but wonder what daisy has to say about billy and his muse… hmm. i feel like she’d have some words about muse’s age, how young she is, and since she’s always starting fights with billy to begin with i can’t imagine it would do poor muse any good. i think daisy would feel some sort of kinship with her because of their shared experiences with absent parents and getting into bad situations with people older than them, i just don’t believe she would handle it responsibly 💀 wanting to help muse develop her own sound and come into herself musically outside of billy dunne and the rest of the band turns into holing up at daisy’s place for days on end and getting ridiculously high together. and i doubt billy would be too happy with his girl showing up completely strung out after vanishing off the face of the earth for a week either. hanging out with daisy feels good but frequently makes things worse instead of better. they’re so interesting i love thinking about them
I'm literally sat for this, I've been thinking about this since it was sent it and need to doscuss with y'all
okay so timeline wise I imagine muse met billy when they were still just the six but like after they'd gained some fame. obviously in this universe there's no camilla, I'd never hurt my girl more, and so billy is just a ticking time bomb of fame and ego and all of his dreams. and he's good but not as good as he thinks he is so when teddy has the idea to give an edge to the six by a collaboration with daisy jones he's still obviously very pissed but now muse is there too, there relationship is probably like 6 months old or so.
and daisy is changing lyrics, she brings so much energy into the studio, she's fun, and muse is young and I think instantly drawn to the magnetic field of daisy jones. kind of in awe of daisy which billy can't fathom because he's too busy being miffed about the whole ordeal. and in this version look at us now is about muse and billy, and daisy see's right through the original lyrics and her changes make muse feel more seen. so she listens to billy bitch and moan but secretly agrees.
and muse definitely pushes for daisy to be in the band, "billy's an ass, but everyone thinks you should join. he'll get over it eventually and realize."
and daisy is just open and honest about her thoughts right off the bat, "why do you stay with him? if he's an ass, then why?"
and muse is taken aback but also honest back because it feels right, "I don't want anyone else. not the way I want him."
daisy does get to join the band and with that she learns a lot more about muse and billy, more to dislike about the arrangement. muse is so young and attached, the only other person she turns to is eddie who obviously also wants to be with her, and daisy feels like any spark that muse has is quelled to play cheerleader for billy. and she respects that muse doesn't want to be a star but she tells her to write, or to talk and daisy will cultivate the ideas.
daisy definitely gets involved in a couple of fights that muse and billy have. "plenty of groupies to go around, don't need one wasting my goddamn time"
"don't fucking talk to her like that!"
"daisy-" you're trying to deescalate because you knows daisy and billy just make the fight worse.
"she's a person, a child, not something you get to call whatever you want when you're pissed off." daisy's turning to you, "c'mon let's go get some air, away from this asshole."
"you can't just walk out of rehearsal, daisy!" billy's calling after but you let daisy guide you.
"watch me!" and you and daisy are sitting outside, she's handing you some pill that you barely question before taking.
"you know, it's okay, it's just the way it is. no reason to fight more because of it."
"no, it's not okay. you know just because he's older and gives you what you crave doesn't mean you need him, right?"
you pause, "I know." you sigh, "daisy, I'm not a baby. I can take care of myself, I know what's going on."
"sure you do, chickadee." and suddenly it's like something lights within her and she's searching her pockets for a paper of napkin, "do you have something to write with?" and she ends up scribbling something you're not allowed to see on a napkin with your lipstick. eventually she makes it a song about you. and then your though and frustrations eventually become many many more songs.
and once during one of the breaks where they've got some time rather than muse spending time with billy she goes to hang out with daisy, which ends up being the whole of the break. she's with daisy, screaming out every frustration into metaphors daisy is scribbling out as they dance around to records taking every pill daisy can get hands on, lines off every surface, so many bottles completely empty. and whenever you just want to call billy or sometimes eddie, daisy totally encourages against it because, "you don't need them!" and when it's finally time to go back to the studio daisy has started to realize she handles highs terribly but better than you, who's not used to taking nearly as much as daisy does.
once they're stepping out of that taxi, billy's first words quickly form from a, "where the hell were you?" to a , "what is she on?" hands softly gripping your face, looking into her eyes, knowing you're gonna feels like crap later. and he's gonna end up nursing you out of a bender, daisy's kind of scared that you were so out of it by the end. so it creates another conflict when she's saying billy is horrible to you and billy brings up how she usually gets you too high to function.
let me know y'all's thoughts bc I'm definitely already cooking up more
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flower-zombie-rob · 11 months
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Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.
#Sometimes I really do just honestly kind of hate her. I know it's a horrible thing to say about one's parents who care for them but it's#true. With the way that she treats me and criticises me and takes every advantage of a chance to tear me down it just really hurts all the#time. I can't criticise her because she ll fly off the handle at me and say how many things she does for me that i dont apreciate enough#But for her she can say as many times as she wants that she doesn't like my hair and she doesn't like the way I dress and she doesn't like#This the way I look and she doesn't like the way I stand and she doesn't like the things I say and she doesn't like my beliefs#She can say she doesn't like my tone of voice and that she doesn't like the way i stress out about things and im not allowed to say#A negative word about her in edgeways when she's allowed to tear me down on a constant basis and make me hate myself. As someone who really#Struggles with a lot of self loathing problems and self hatred she really does just rip into me with no restraint constantly. She knows#That I suffer with some serious rejection sensitive dysphoria that I am trying to get therapist help for and she still has no restraint#When it comes to criticising me and everything I am and everything I like. And she has the goal to do this thing where she is kind of peer#Pressures me into agreeing with the things that she says which in turn just makes me consolidate those horrible beliefs about myself in my#own head. If I don't agree with her criticism of me I can't just say so I have to not along with her and affirm to myself that those#Things are true. That I don't like my own hair that I don't like my face and my makeup and my clothes. That my preferences are wrong and#That I dress too androgynously. That I could never experiment with things like pronouns or gender and that I have to agree with societally#Homophobic undertoned things that she says because I can't bare to have her criticise me again and again and again for critisising her.#I can't do this anymore it makes me dread every time she comes into my room to talk to me about some new thing she doesn't like about me. I#And constantly stressing about how much people dislike me and how annoying I am#And the fact that I'm literally hiding the things that I want to wear from her so i can put them on when i get away from her and yet she#she will still get upset if I criticise her for making me literally hate myself on a regular basis. she wont beleive me and she'll be#Confused if I have a belief that doesn't match hers and she'll get so excited when I even possibly hint at doing something to my appearance#that she likes and knows I don't. I worry wake for comic corner she wouldn't shut up about how much my hair looks really good in a style i#dont want to cut it. If I dress in a way that's openly queer she ll act like I'm going to get#and i quote “the wrong kind of attention” Because she thinks that me even possibly being misgendered because of my clothing is a#disgusting crime and that I should be the perfect Barbie doll pink pretty princess she always wanted her children to be. She wants me to be#Someone that I can't be comfortably and she's essentially forcing me to fit this mould of her preferred child. Which obviously makes me#Despise who I am and hate my own interests and style. And as horrible and hurtful as it is to say this#I can't wait to get away from her.#sigh#vent#harsh morning
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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boy-above · 10 months
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genuinely it is amazing that i am able to even get out of bed because these past two months have been some of the worst i've had in like a decade. genuinely in a perpetual state of "why is this happening to me" and "how are things going to get better after this" and "how will i ever have a future" like shit just keeps happening one thing after another i can't rid of it
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cheonstapes · 14 days
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miguel o’hara stars in… ‘SUGAR BABY CHRONICLES’ ヽ(´o`;
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・゜゚・*:.。..。. miguel o’hara x fem!reader .。. .。.:*・゜゚・
SMUT
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REQUEST from my lovely @miguelzslvtz; So I was thinking of an older!Sugar daddy Miguel x reader. The reader is working at small country club and Miguel noticed her. She’s serving him drinks, and taking care of him. He tells her she’s too good to be working there and introduced the idea of being her sugar daddy (basically some arm candy). He invites her over to his mansion for a party and she’s dressed up for him🫶🏻 all night she’s being looked at by other men and woman, he’s being very protective of her. He loves on her all night and makes sure she’s taken care of💗💗spoiled✨
cw; older!miguel, slight age gap (reader is in early 20s, miguel is in early 30s), cumming inside, slight breeding(not really, i just have a problem), sugardaddy!miguel, readers a little bit of a tsundere kinda, miguel’s really in love, cunnilings, shower sex, hair pulling, NAWT PROOFREAD!!
4k+ words (longest fic omg!!)
@cheonstapes; hi again…🤗 these hiatuses are killing me. i’ve been absolutely swamped and i lost so much motivation to write but im glad to say i think i’ve found my footing. i found myself again and i’ll work on balancing everything from now on! i apologise for the mammoth amount of time it took me to do this (this is what i get for working chronologically) and i have not forgotten about your requests if you sent one! pyramids and project ex will still be coming but i want to make sure requests are out of the way as they’ve been there for months and it’s not fair for the lovely people who’ve waited so long. thanks again! i love you all🩷
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you loved your job, you really did.
not many people can say that genuinely, but when you’re getting the tips you’re getting, seeing the men you’re seeing, you definitely don’t wanna leave anytime soon. working at such an elite club meant you were among the rich of the rich — the big shots of the city that wouldn’t be caught anywhere else.
at the very least, the uniform was modest enough — obviously though, there would always be a few buttons left undone on your shirt, your skirt pulled up just that little bit higher. that window of flesh, no matter how small, was a guaranteed extra thousand in your pocket by the end of the night — and that wasn’t even counting him.
mr. o’hara. that’s all you knew him by. the man was overtly secretive, often arriving alone or occasionally with a very small group of associates. he was by far your biggest tipper. at times, you wondered if he owned the club due to the pure influence he has on your boss — somehow, much to your excitement, convincing him to bump your pay-check up by a lofty sum. the amount of money you make could send you into an early retirement, but of course you wouldn’t do that. it meant you wouldn’t get to learn more about him, and you needed to learn more about him.
summer was always the busiest, the great weather meaning there was more members than usual coming out to play. although, running around and serving for 9 hours a day was extremely tiring — gruelling even. there was sweat dripping down your face, your black dress feeling like a leather coat with the way it clung to you like second skin.
one last drink. you had one last drink to serve and then you could go on your break. double checking the table number, your eyes widened slightly as you saw him. mr. o’hara was not a small man by any means — the bulging muscles tucked away under his tight dress shirt, shoulders almost akin in length with the table. to put it simply, he was the epitome of sexy. you were barely at his table and you could smell him already, the masculine musk of his oud creating a musky, rose scented bubble that ensnared all your senses.
“‘s that for me, sweetheart?”
yes, yes it was. but he really wanted to hear you say it. your voice was such a sweet caress to his ear — he could guarantee an angel got its wings every time you spoke. miguel usually prides himself on being in control of his emotions, his body — but having a pretty, little thing like you just within his grasp was the ultimate challenge of restraint.
the man felt absolutely helpless, his heart pounding in his chest like a hormonal teenage boy when you placed the drink in front of him. “you know it, mr. o’hara — you order the same thing everyday.” fuck. the sip he was having was definitely becoming more than a sip the longer he held the cup to his mouth — chub twitching against the fabric of his slacks.
you were just the sweetest little thing — much more enthusiastic than the other girls that worked there. he might be just imagining it too, but he can feel deep in his heart that you dress up just for him. miguel knows you want him, and he’s more than happy to give himself to you.
“you know me better than i know myself, dulzura. almost like you’re keeping tabs on me, hm?”
“i mean, yeah, i kinda am. it’s my job, mr. o’hara. you’re one of our most frequent regulars, it’d be crazy if i couldn’t tell you your order ‘fore you give it to me.”
oh…yeah.
in miguel’s defence, it’s been a while….a long while since he last flirted — and having an 8-year-old daughter who’s judging your every move means there’s not a lot of time to work on your game. but he’d be damned if he lost an angel like you, he will be yours. plus, gabi does need a woman like you in her life too.
“do you enjoy it, though? your job, I mean — not keeping tabs on me.”
“you probably won’t believe this, but i actually do. the pay’s good, at least, and i can afford to pay my bills, uni, and still have fun. i’m kinda lucky, i guess.”
“you wouldn’t have to worry about that with me, nena.”
miguel knew he was probably breaking some sorta rule, flirting with staff or whatever — but god you were worth it. if being able to take you home meant that he would never set foot in the club again, then so be it.
“sorry, what was that, sir?”
“…quit your job — not in a ‘you’re bad at your job way’ — i’ll take care of you. i can give you everything, anything you want.”
you couldn’t say you were surprised, especially with the nature of your job — old men say stuff like this to you all the time. but, miguel wasn’t any old man. as much as you loved your job, had a stable income and good connections — the thought of quitting and running away with a man like him? fuck, it was so tempting.
“alright then. i hope you live up to those words, mr. o’hara.”
———————————————————————————
mr o’hara (sugardaddy?)
i’m throwing an event at work tonight, i want you to be there.
sent 16:42
(y.n)
hi, mr o’hara. i’d love to but i finish work at 7,i don’t know if i’ll be able to make it. and i don’t really have anything to wear :(
sent 16:50
mr. o’hara (sugardaddy?)
don’t worry about it, gorgeous. i’ve already got you off work for the rest of the week, and i’ve got you something nice to wear.
sent 16:50
(y.n)
oh, really? well, i guess i’ll see you there then! ;)
sent 16:56
mr. sugardaddy
mmhm, i can’t wait to see you, babe. and call me miguel.
sent 16:56
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miguel had promptly sent his driver to pick you up in a sleek black sports car, much to the dismay of your co-workers. a beautifully wrapped box was placed on the seat beside you, a bouquet of orchids and a small note that read ‘for you, las flores más bonitas para la chica más guapa - m’
it was hard to not feel a tinge if heat was rising in your face, for someone whom you’re only just getting to know to be so utterly romantic — it was a new experience! relationships had never been something you were particularly interested in, but there was no denying the allure that someone like miguel held and only time could tell how it would all play out.
arriving at his mansion, which was nothing short of jaw dropping — the halls were mostly desolate aside from the quite bustle of the staff that were preparing for tonight’s ball. an elderly woman escorts you upstairs to the master bedroom, your eyes roaming the area as you take in the grandeur of the building — aged walls paired with a modern nueva york touch.
“where’s mr. o— miguel?” the woman turns to you, an indecipherable smile on her lips.
“mr. o’hara is just getting prepared for the ball. don’t fret over him, he’ll join you shortly.” well, it was a bit rude to invite someone over and not be there to greet them but ok! “ah, i forgot to mention,” she opens the door, stepping aside to let you in. “i left you a little something on the dresser. i believe you both’ll be needing it.” the woman winks, silently closing the door behind her — leaving you alone in the large room.
god, even the room smelt like him. a musky wood and cinnamon smell, with the faintest hint of vanilla from the candle burning by the window sill. it wasn’t everyday you were in the presence of such luxury, especially old money luxury. your eyes flitted over to the dresser the woman was referring to, that sneaky grandma.
a box of xl condoms, birth control, towels, all wrapped in a cute gift basket. “seriously? who does she think i am? i’m not fucking on the first date.” wait— was this a date? it definitely felt like one, but it was hard to be 100% sure. this was too much to deal with now, all that was left to worry about was the ball and getting ready.
on the bed behind you lay a beautifully wrapped box, with a red ribbon to top it off. it fell gracefully onto the bedsheets as you unwrapped it, lifting the lid to reveal the shimmering red dress underneath. a sleeveless satin dress, fabric lined with the finest crystals, a slit raising mid thigh, lined a sheer lace. it was the definition of classy, with a hint of seduction.
putting it on felt like a crime, something so beautifully should be preserved and put into a museum. it took all of your willpower to not tuck the dress away somewhere safe and just go and get one of your own — but alas, it was a gift, the least you could do is wear it. the craziest part was how perfect it fit. practically a glove, clinging onto every curve and crevice of your body — extenuating places you never even noticed before.
smoothing out the wrinkles, making sure it was as perfect as possible — fuck, you looked hot. the colour complimented your skin exquisitely, adding a soft glow to your complexion. in the time it took you to get ready, it seemed like the party was already amping up. you could see the surge of people from the window, flashing lights and an abundance of cars being handed to the concierges. you still had yet to see miguel and what better time to look for him than now?
there was a pair of red heels that matched the dress to a T, slipping them on and bouncing down the steps. the butterflies fluttered wildly in your tummy the nearer you got to the party, joining the line of people being checked in by security. though, from the corner of your eye, you catch sight of him. standing there in all his 6’ glory, curls lightly slicked back, wearing a tight button up shirt and those sexy slacks.
something about seeing miguel like this, so carefree and relaxed, set something off inside of you. even though you were supposed to be his guest, you did everything in your power to avoid his gaze — purely cause you don’t think you’d be able to maintain eye contact him for longer than a few minutes without jumping his bones. but of course, fate was destiny’s whore, and soon enough you were being escorted straight into the ballroom.
“were you avoiding me, cielo?”
a hand splayed across your waist, leading you deeper inside the hall as he whispered in your ear. it was obviously due to the fact that you probably couldn’t hear him all too well because to the loud music, but the way his hands caressed your sides, his lips brushing against the lobe of your ear — it felt all too intentional.
“no…i just didn’t want to cut in line. i figured i’d see you when i see you.”
“is that so?” he slid a champagne flute in your hands, grabbing one of his own as he tilted his head at you — a stray curl unfurling down his forehead. “you’re like an open book, cariño. you think i don’t know what’s going on in that pretty little head by now?”
“so you’ve been studying me, hm?” now it was your turn to raise a brow, tilting your head back as you took a long sip of your champagne. it wouldn’t be a huge surprise if he had been, it was kinda obvious from all the stares he’d give you and when he’d ‘enquire’ about you from your colleagues.
“mmm, studying’s a strong word. i was simply…observing you. can’t blame me for wanting to know someone as enchanting as you better.”
he had quite the mouth on him, didn’t he? you couldn’t stop the small smile that graces your lips, shaking your head in disbelief.
“you’re so stupid, miguel.”
“if falling for you is stupid, then i’m the dumbest of them all.”
it was so bad, so bad that it was actually good. and that comment shaped the rest of your night together. considering your new arrangement, he took the liberty of introducing you to his circle of friends and their wives — conveniently leaving out that he was your new sugar daddy, but that was a story for another day. miguel revelled in the looks they all gave you, seemingly forgetting they themselves had a date nestled on their arms. he really couldn’t have picked a better dress, but damn if it wasn’t killing him.
you really didn’t know how beautiful you were, and he so badly wanted to show you. the dim lighting was a blessing for the tent in his slacks, giving him a flimsy disguise for the arousal he felt at that moment. after more than a few drinks too, wandering hands and lingering words, it was becoming unbearable. however, scaring you off wasn’t on his bucket list tonight. he didn’t take this long fighting for your attention to loose you on the first date. he vowed to do everything at your pace, leaving it up to you to make the first move.
as the party wrapped up, and miguel said his goodbyes — you stood at the door, shivering from the cold air as it nipped against your bare arms. the fun you had was incomparable to any party you’ve ever been to, but you thought you may have overstayed your welcome. shakily tapping on your phone with freezing fingers, ordering an uber to pick you up —
“leaving already?”
“yeah, i had a lot of fun tonight, though.” it was a genuine smile, one that spoke a million words. “thanks for inviting me, miguel.”
for a man so big he sure did move so silently. he stood behind you, gently grasping your hand in his as she looked down on you. “when i invited you, i didn’t invite you as a mere guest — you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”
it didn’t even sound like he was simply offering, miguel was begging. you could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice — urging you to stay the night, stay with him.
“miguel, are you sure? i don’t even have anything to change—“
“i’ve already organised sleepwear for you, but you could wear something of mine if you’d like?”
that sly smirk slid its way onto his face once again, rolling your eyes as you walked past him — pulling out your phone to cancel the uber. “fine, i’ll stay. i might take you up on that offer too.”
lo and behold, an array of skincare and pyjamas were set out on his bed as you entered the master bedroom once again — and to top it off, gift bags filled with designer items that you’d never thought you’d ever own. “miguel…is this all for me?”
“unless i have another sugar baby, who else would it be for? ‘course it’s for you, darling — consider it a…’welcome’ gift.”
“more like my entire tuition fee, hell. you didn’t have to spend all this money on me, y’know?”
“cariño,” you could see miguel walking up to him from the mirror in front, his arm slipping round your waist to pull you into his back. “i spend my money how i want, and i want to spend it on you. so i don’t want to hear no more complaining from you, understand.” the small nod you gave earned a small grin from him, a hand smoothing up the curve of your back until it reached the shimmering zipper under your neck.
“you look like a goddess tonight, baby. so fucking beautiful…” his words were whispered softly into your neck, gentle breaths caressing your skin. as he spoke, the zipper slid lower and lower — until your dress was held together by the tips of his fingers. the cold metal of his rings brushed against your bare skin, the tips of his fingers dancing on the curve of your waist as he lets the fabric pool at your feet.
“m-miguel, i’m sweaty from all the dancing! at least let me wash up first, or something.” if you weren’t sweating much then, you were definitely sweating buckets now. the heat radiating from you mixed with the heat simmering between the two of you made for a heady cocktail of unspoken desire — and you silently cursing yourself for almost breaking the number one rule: ‘don’t fuck on the first date.’
“we can use my shower then, it’s large enough for the both of us.” we? oh, you’re definitely breaking that rule now. “i didn’t say this was gonna be a joint effort, did i? i can wash myself, miguel.” you weren’t even convincing yourself with the breathy way you spoke, the way he was caressing you, the pure adoration in his voice was something you haven’t felt before. plus, this is the guy who’s willingly paying you to simply be around him — it’s a win-win situation.
“i know you can, baby —“ letting out a deep chuckle, miguel intertwined your hands and lead you towards the bathroom — “but it’s more fun with two, no?” the gentle pitter-patter of the waterfall shower reverberated through the silence of the room, the sound of fabric rustling followed shortly after. glancing down at your feet, miguel’s clothing was promptly discarded — your widened eyes trailing up his hefty frame.
“fucking christ…”
the man in front of you was nothing short of absolutely beautiful. despite spending everyday surrounded by older men, you never found yourself truly attracted to them until now — or maybe it was simply just miguel himself. “i thought you wanted to take a shower, muñeca?” oh, yeah, the shower. before you could even finish your thought, miguel was already occupying half of the space in there, leaving a small pocket for you to slide into.
the expeditious beating of your heart was muffled by the steady stream of water, but it was more than clear to miguel what you were feeling in that moment. the moment was strangely intimate, and dare i say innocent, for the predicament you found yourself in. his hands gently roamed your skin, barely making contact with any sensitive areas aside from fleeting brushes. he made a point to use his hands instead of a rag, claiming he could ‘clean you better than a flimsy cloth’.
it was truly getting unbearable, utterly frustrating. your subconscious and ovaries were in an intense battle of wits, when a third party made itself known in the worst way possible. you really had forgotten that miguel was as naked as you were until you felt the base of his cock slide between your ass cheeks, chest flush against his back. the slightest hitch of your already shaky breath earned another rich laugh from within him, thick fingers playing with the skin of your tummy.
“you feeling cleaner or what? i’m more than happy to keep going if you are, baby.”
of course you wanted him to keep going! you were already as wet as is, in every way possible. “i..i think you might’ve missed a spot.” the hand on your tummy paused, his breath hitting your ear as he bent down slightly. “i did? i like to consider myself very thorough, cariño — enlighten me.” you did your best to turn with the small space you had, looking up at him with a more confident expression than the one you wore previously.
“here.”
now it was miguel’s turn to be surprised, the tip of his finger brushing against your swollen clit before tapping against your slit. it had been so long since you had a real good fuck, and right now you were genuinely about to give this man some babies if he kept on smiling like that. “mm, looks like i did. forgive me for being so careless. i’ll make sure she gets extra attention.” his words trailed off as he sunk to his knees, the gentle spray of water splattering against his face.
he tapped your ass, lifting you up with one hand as he pressed you against the cool glass, legs resting on his shoulders. his pretty lashes were dusted with droplets of water as he gazed at you from between your thighs, nipping and sucking on the sensitive skin as he kneaded your skin gently. his thick tongue was enough to completely spread you open, eagerly collecting your creamy essence.
miguel was moaning like a pure slut, you would think he got more pleasure in eating you out than you did. his eyes were rolled back, hips absentmindedly bucking to the rhythm of the shower as he sucked on your clit. the position was not uncomfortable by any means, but the unadulterated pleasure you were feeling made it hard to stay upright — nails raking down the expensive marble tiles as you practically grasped for straws.
“grab my hair, darling. i don’t want you to fall.”
whilst his words were slightly muffled, the undeniable concern in his voice had you moaning embarrassingly loud. miguel was clearly strong enough to hold you up all alone, so you surrendered the grip you had on the wall to rake your trembling fingers through his hair — tugging on the curly strands.
“nngh..fuck..”
he fucking whimpered. miguel o’hara, the richest and most powerful man in this city, was shamelessly whimpering between your thighs. that was certainly the biggest ego boost ever, the fact that it’s your pussy that has this huge man so drunk. pushing out your hips, you practically smothered his face — riding him mid-air as you felt the delicious sensations bubbling up inside of your stomach. breathless chants of his name left your lips, panting softly as your head fell back against the panels.
“c-cumming! ugh— fuck, miguel!
the jerks of your body made miguel grip your ass tightly, licking his lips of your release as he shuffled upwards, grinning down at your disheveled form. “you’re breathtaking when you cum for me, beautiful. can’t believe you’re all mine.” he whispered against your lips, forehead to forehead as he kissed you for the first time. it felt like a million tiny fireworks going off inside of you, the previous tension in your body instantly melting away as you leaned into his touch — tongue’s pressing against each other as drooled slipped down your necks.
he kept his mouth latched onto yours as he gripped his leaking cock, dipping the pearly tip inside of your sensitive hole. his movements were unhurried, sloppily kissing you as he dipped in-and-out, in-and-out. it was a steady pace that you soon found yourself liking more than usual, a stark contrast to the inexperienced fucking’s you were getting before. “inside, please…i wanna feel you, all of you.”
you were too dangerous for this old man’s heart. having a pretty little thing like you beg for him to fuck you like you deserved, to mold that sweet cunt into the shape of his cock — it was all too tempting. he was more than willing to do anything his sweet baby asked him to, and he wasted no time in giving in to you. “shit, cielo, no one’s ever fucked you right, huh? she’s gripping onto me like a vice.”
he was right, in every sense of the word. you didn’t know how many partners he had before you, and really didn’t want to find out — but one thing was for sure, miguel knew exactly how to please you. your head fell against his chest, his hand lifting it up by your chin as he pumped into you. “tell me, dulzura, i’m the only one that’s made you feel like this? only man to fuck this perfect pussy right?”
he took the tiny nods and breathy whimpers as a yes, grinning like a madman as he revealed in the satisfaction of ruining you for anyone else — not like he was gonna let you go in the first place. his pace picked up vigorously, finding the perfect balance between pounding into your sore cunt and softly rutting against your ass. the skin where you both combined was tinged red, the on-going waterfall above unable to fully wash away the evidence of your cream on his pelvis.
“only you, miguel — no one…no one’s better than you. i’m yours, daddy.”
those words, hushed and warm, pushed his already inflated ego to the edge. his hips bucked widly, prodding at the spongy spot inside of you as she pressed his lips against yours once more. all sounds were trapped between your connected lips, muffling the choked squeal that left your lips and the guttural groan that left his as he came deep inside you. he did promise to clean you extra throughly, and what better way to do that than flushing out your canal with his cum!
he lazily rolled his hips against yours, ignoring the sticky liquid bubbling on the side of his spent cock. “did so well for me, my beautiful princess. i’m so proud of you.” the fluttering of your heart made you instinctively turn away, cheeks flaring with heat as you pouted — you really can’t believe you fucked on the first bloody date. your little tough act didn’t fool miguel, in fact it fuelled him even more. he continued to praise your very essence, worshiping the ground you walk on despite your protests — smiling softly as he sees your fierce resolve weaken. “there she is, you ready to let me love on you now?”
“yeah, yeah. but first, we need an actual shower. no fucking this time.”
“no promises.”
this was the last place you saw yourself in life, but maybe being in miguel’s arms were where you were supposed to be.
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- thank you for waiting and make sure to watch ateez at coachella!!!!!
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bluerosefox · 5 days
Text
GHOSTS WITH HEARTBEATS
When Jason had been going to Gotham Academy, he had (for a good reputation for the media and to help him catch up on his penmanship, remember he had been on the streets and dropped out of school before getting picked up by Bruce for a while) signed up for a penpal project for 'less privileged people' to write to.
(Although Jason was annoyed the penpal project stayed within the states and only selected a middle of nowhere town, he knew the Richie Rich Elites would never subjugate their 'Heirs' to actual kids in need of learning how to read and write)
But Jason didn't mind his penpal.
Danny Fenton was a riot to talk, err write to in all honestly.
From his dry punny humor (and boy can he give even Dick a run for his money in the pun department but hey using some of them actually got Dick to warm up to him a few missions ago) and death jokes so many death jokes, to his nerdy love for space Jason enjoyed writing to Danny.
Even the short stories he would write about a ghost kid protecting a small town from other ghosts was interesting to read. He really liked the different kinds of ghosts there could be. Granted some seemed very OP like that Clockwork dude.
Jason liked writing to Danny, and even after the penpal project was over they had plans to keep sending letters, maybe even exchange numbers soon...
But then he died by the hands of the Joker.
The letters leaving Wayne Manor may had decreased but the letters being sent never did or at least until a few years ago.
Then Jason somehow returned to the land of the living.
Got taken by the LoA, tossed in the green waters and turned into their Pit Raged weapon for a while before leaving them behind and setting out for his revenge against the Joker and to force B's hand.
And becoming a Crime Boss for a while too. Can't forget that.
Point being with all this going on, the old warm memories of exchanging letters with Danny Fenton was pushed into the back of his mind and forgotten about for a while.
It isn't until one afternoon at Wayne Manor that while roughhousing with Dick, who had Jason in a brotherly headlock as they walked down a hall to one of the sitting rooms, that while Jason had slipped out of Dick's hold had stumbled into a hallway desk that had a few things on the top of it, one of the things being a small box that tumbled off when Jason hit it.
The box lid opened and out of it spilled out a good number of letters.
"Shiii-p, dang it Dick!" Jason said when he looked at the mess he accidentally made and stopped himself from swearing, the place might be named Wayne Manor but everyone knew this was Alfie's domain and no swearing was a rule within his halls.
Dick only laughed and teased only in a way a sibling can do "Hey not my fault your as big as a tank Jaybird! We should get you some caution signals if you keep bumping into things!"
Jason flipped him his favorite finger, thankfully Alfred only knew when they swore thus it did not summon him, and bent down to the letters.
His hands froze when he recognized the hand writing and the address it was sent from.
"From: Danny Fent Nightingale
Amity Park, IL"
To: Jason Todd-Wayne
Gotham City, NJ.
Wayne Manor"
And when Jason opened the letter. He really wasn't expecting what was written inside.
"Jason.
I'm finally leaving Amity Park. I can't be there anymore, not after everything. I'm too tired, and emotionally hurt. Everything is just to much. And I can't keep doing this to myself. My parents still can’t understand there is nothing ‘wrong’ with me or why I refuse to let them take care of Ellie, I refuse to let her live the way Jazz and I did, Jazz has to much on her plate already with her own life and college but she’s been hounding me to reach out to mom and dad, Sam refuses to listen to me when I tell her I want to be more than ‘Phantom’ in Amity Park, and Tucker is so busy trying to get into a good college and job we barely have time to talk nowadays. And don’t get me started on Vlad, that fruitloop’s been breathing down my neck since Ellie’s deaging.
Despite how much of a hellhole you like to call it, I think Gotham might be my, no mine and Ellie’s best bet of living some kind of life, especially now since the whole deaging she had to go through, she needs an ectoplasm rich city as well and since she has no actual papers because she was my clone and I remember you saying Gotham has people who can create new identities and-
I’m rambling again, to letter you again. I really need to stop it.
I can’t keep pretending you’re going to read these.
I know you’ll never read these. You’re gone. I can’t even find you in the Realms no matter where I look.
I’m sorry. For using you as, well, a way to vent my life for last couple of years. I shouldn’t had done it but it helped me.
Believing my friend was still alive and getting my letters I mean.
Again I’m sorry.
This will be my last letter to your ghost, pun unintended.
Goodbye Jason. Wish us luck in your city.
-Danny Fen-Nightingale...."
The sent date on the letter was roughly eight years ago.
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dumplingsjinson · 7 months
Text
List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 2)
“If you felt want and longing the way I did — the way I still do — I promise you’d be driven fucking mad.”
“I wanted the thrill of the chase more than I wanted you.” 
“You really couldn’t have been any more obvious.” “That’s because I didn’t have anything to hide. I was being obvious, because I needed you to know, without a doubt, that I love you.” 
“This is literally the worst moment for me to be saying this but considering how we could die at any second, I need to get this off my chest before I become buried six feet under, without a chance to say any of this to you: I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids. I’ve loved you every second of my life; from the moment when I knew what loving someone really meant.” 
“I kinda knew I lost all feelings for you when I realised I didn’t want to communicate with you about the problems that were happening between us. I became complaisant.” 
“Loving you is as easy as overthinking everything.” 
“It’s… easy with you. Nice. I don’t have to be someone else to impress you, because I know you love me for me.”
“There are parts of me I’d never thought I’d show to anyone else, but then… You came along, and for some reason, you made me want to be honest with you; bare my soul to you.”
“So what in the hell are we? I’m not doing this unless we’re on the same page.” 
“Please don’t tell me we’re nothing to you… That I mean nothing after everything’s that happened.”
“You’re my emotional support human, and I love you so, so much.”
“If you ever need me, I’ll be right here. Just as I’ve always been.” 
“I’d let you break my heart, if it means I’d get to have you for even a day.” 
“You make me feel like dancing in the pouring rain wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” 
“You’re astoundingly unhealthy for me, but do I care? No, because I wouldn’t have fallen if I cared, especially when I’m someone who’s usually so careful with whom I give my heart to.”
“…I didn’t drunk call you. It wasn’t a drunk call. I called you, perfectly sober.” 
“You’re someone I want to tell things to.”
“What’s more important to me is that I’m your last love.” 
“This… This hurts me more than it hurts you.”
“Falling in love wasn’t on the agenda.” “Do you mean falling in love with me out of all people wasn’t on the agenda?”
“I don’t know, I guess I’m kind of in love?”
“…I want all of you. On top, under, whatever — I don’t care, I just want you.”
“Maybe I can help you forget about them.”
“It’s easier to pretend I’m still in love with them, than leave them in that state.” “You know you basically lying to them about your feelings is gonna hurt them more in the long run, right?” 
“Why does it have to be them? Why can’t it be me?”
“I’ll give you two seconds to take that back.” 
“You gotta work for it, love.” 
“We can pretend that didn’t happen.” “I’m sorry, but I’m not as good of an actor as you are.”
“I don’t know how to… I’ve never done this before.” “Then follow my lead, okay?”
“I’m someone who falls in love easily, but I’m also someone who can’t get over someone as easily.”
“I want to make this work, because I don’t— I don’t want to— I can’t lose you.” 
“You make me want to be a better version of myself.”
“I don’t wanna mess this up with you.” “You won’t. I promise, you won’t, so just… Do whatever. I trust you.”  
“Why are you smiling at your phone?” “…I was looking at the mail app, and uh… Received some good news?”
“Because love isn’t linear. You know that, right?”
“I’m not doing this for you — I’m doing this for myself.” 
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person for you.”
“I’m here to stay. At least until you want me gone, which I hope is never.” 
“Chasing you is like chasing the rainbow… It’s impossible. You’re always slipping away no matter how fast I run after you.”
“Don’t give me that it’s not you, it’s me bullcrap. It’s us both. We’re both at fault for this relationship breakdown.” 
“God, I just like you so, so much.” 
“I think I need to get over you for me to feel better again.” 
“You and your stupid smile… Stop that.” 
“I just need you in me somehow, please—”
“I really hope you realised they were flirting with you.” “…They were?”
“I’ve caught feelings for you, and I know you don’t like me back that way so I just… Wanted to tell you, before I decide to let you go.”
“I’ll be here to pick up the broken pieces if that’s what you want me to do, but I’ll leave if you’re not ready for that… For something more with me.” 
“I love you, but I… I don’t think I see a future with you.” 
“Give me a week. A week, and I’ll be back to normal. A week, and I’ll… I’ll be over you. Just a week and you’ll have the old me back. It’s that easy, I promise.”
“I kinda wanna give myself a concussion so I can forget about you and not think about you twenty-four-seven.” 
(pt. 1) | (pt. 3)
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cuubism · 2 months
Text
i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is
cw injury, referenced abusive relationships
--
Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.
Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.
But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.
"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."
Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.
"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."
Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.
"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.
"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.
Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"
Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.
He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"
Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.
"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.
"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."
He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.
Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.
(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)
"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"
Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"
"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."
Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.
"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."
Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.
Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.
"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.
Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.
Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."
"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.
"As you insist," Dream says.
Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.
"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."
Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.
Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."
"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.
"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."
Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.
"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."
Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.
"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."
He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.
Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."
Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.
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literaila · 1 month
Text
it's not my fault
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: tsumiki and megumi get into an argument
warnings: sibling stuff, fluff, two oblivious (stupid) parents
last part | next part
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*
year five.
“couldn’t you say something nice?” tsumiki is asking megumi when you walk in. “she just wanted to—“ 
you set your bag on the table, just barely able to make out their words. 
they were... quiet in the car, you realize suddenly. but you hadn't thought that anything was wrong. megumi's typically burnt out after school, and tsumiki waits until you all get home to start telling you about her day. 
but it only took a minute of you running back out to the car to grab something for it all to fall apart. 
megumi groans. “i don’t even know her.” 
you round the corner, just stopping there so you can observe. neither of them seem to notice you, or your wide eyes at both of their stances. the matching scowls on their faces. 
they look so similar that it shocks you just briefly. 
tsumiki has her arms crossed, shaking her head. “you still don’t need to be mean about it.” 
“i wasn’t mean.” 
“yes, you were. you told her to leave you alone.” 
“that seems like a pretty straightforward request.” 
“everyone at school thinks you’re mean,” tsumiki is pouting, looking dishearted at his reaction. typically, megumi will agree with her just for the sake of it. “and i always have to defend you, even if it’s true.” 
megumi sighs, shrugging. he's got his satoru-type scowl on, and even though he looks disinterested--as usual--you can see it when his frown deepens, and he shifts away from tsumiki. “well, stop then. i don’t need you to come to my rescue. i don’t care what people say.” 
“well, i do! you’re my brother.” 
“that doesn’t mean you have to treat me like your responsibility. i can handle myself.” 
“you’re always alone at school,” tsumiki disputes, almost whining at him. “if you were nicer—“ 
“i’ve never complained—“ 
“okay,” you turn the corner, brows already raised. “there’s a lot of raised voices going on. you two are going to wake up the neighbor's cat.” 
tsumiki is pouting at megumi and he just rolls his eyes. both children stand facing each other, standoffish in the living room, arms crossed. 
usually, they fight about what movie to watch, or who got to sit in the front seat last. 
but those fights don’t typically involve yelling. 
sure, they’re both sensitive about their childhood. about living here and being with you and satoru. they'll bicker about being little, megumi hating it when tsumiki mentions either of their biological parents, and tsumiki hating it when he refuses to listen.
but even then, tsumiki goes to hide, and megumi just shuts down. 
this seems… different. 
a part of you rationalizes that they're both exhausted from school and getting to that age where their priorities differ. 
you don't have any siblings, but you quarreled enough with nanami and haibara back at school to know how these types of arguments work. 
and unless one of them admits that they're wrong, it's never going to end. 
with that thought in mind, you put on a learned smile, standing between the two of them so you can look back and forth between the two children, observing both of their very closed-off body language. 
it's a little cute, honestly. they both look very different, but their matching stances and glares are worth much more than biology. you almost want to stop them to take a picture. 
satoru would do it if he was here. 
“tough crowd,” you say, feeling the tension between the two. “what’s going on?” 
“nothing,” they both say, at the same time, but megumi with an attitude and tsumiki with a sniffle. 
really, you should find a book about expressing emotions. you and satoru are teaching them far too much about denial and avoidance. 
you make a mental note to look it up later. 
you blow out a breath. “yeah, well, i heard the yelling, but i’m missing some context."
you look between the two of them, but they’re not looking back. both sets of eyes are focused on each other, identical glares bouncing off of each other. they could be communicating in some secret language and you would have no idea. 
in fact, you can basically see the thoughts they're forcing towards each other on their faces. 
“hey,” you poke them both on the forehead at the same time, trying to get their attention on you. “talk to me. what happened?” 
they both remain still as statues for a moment, not bothering to consider the question. 
but after a moment, tsumiki blinks, and her frown increases, which makes megumi roll his eyes--like he already knows what she's going to say, and doesn't care. 
“megumi was mean to a girl at school,” tsumiki says, finally looking at you with big doe eyes. her face is pained, confused, and worried. 
and honestly, she could ask you for anything with that look and you'd give it to her. 
but megumi sighs. “i wasn’t mean.” 
“you told her not to talk to you!” 
he looks to you, less pleading but confident. “if i want space, shouldn’t i tell someone that? isn't that what you say?” 
you open your mouth. “well, it depends, megs, you can’t—“ 
“you’re always mean,” tsumiki’s eyes are filling with tears. she looks at you too. and usually, she would apologize for interrupting, but not right now. “nobody at school wants to be around him. he scares everyone, and they don’t believe me when i say that he’s nice.” 
“tsumiki," you begin, face softening, "you shouldn’t—“ 
“that doesn’t make me mean. why would i want to hang out with people who don’t like me?” 
you turn, “megumi—“ 
“they would like you if you weren’t always saying mean things!” tsumiki tells him, her sweet voice rough with frustration. the tears begin to slip from her eyes. 
and you can feel it when megumi moves another inch away, wanting to flinch back from her sadness the same way you do. 
“i don’t want them to like me,” megumi corrects, shaking it off. “i don’t care what they think.” 
tsumiki frowns even deeper, eyes growing wide. “what about what i think?” she asks him.
“are you going to stop hanging out with me?” 
“maybe.” 
“how? we literally live in the same house. your room is down the hall from mine.”
“guys—“ 
“i’ll ask dad to move rooms. he won’t mind.” 
“oh, sure. because you’ll be able to avoid me at the dinner table—“ 
“why are you always—“ 
“guys.” 
they both look to you, glares immensely misplaced. their mouths are still open, ready to interrupt each other at a moment's notice. 
you look between them, finding matching pictures on either side. clearly, they're both upset about something different. and still, you don't really understand, but it doesn't seem like they're going to explain anything further. 
why would they when they can just keep arguing?
you purse your lips, closing your eyes for a moment, trying not to laugh. 
really, if they wanted you to take them seriously they shouldn’t have grown up to be so cute. they shouldn't look like that. 
harsh, angry breaths fill the room as the two of them wait for your instruction. you should probably be able to fix this problem immediately--you could by sending them both to their rooms and forcing them apart--but you'd rather talk this through. 
plus you don't want either of them to think too hard about any of it. you hate it when you fight with satoru and take a break, just to linger in that anger like a quicksand you can’t pull out of. 
“okay,” you say, once there’s a moment of silence. “i know you’re both upset.” 
“i’m not—“ you look at megumi and he stops, little frown on his little face. his cheeks are red in indignation, and he's got clenched fists. you can tell that he wants to say something, maybe to you, maybe to tsumiki, but he won't.
you ruffle his hair. “it’s fine to be upset with each other,” you tell him, looking to tsumiki, her face entirely sad. “but going back and forth isn’t going to solve the problem, okay? and neither is saying anything just to hurt each other's feelings.” 
“but he just—“ you shake your head, wishing with everything in you that you could go get one of satoru’s blindfolds right now. 
it physically hurts to look at them, they're so precious. 
you are a terrible mother for finding this moment slightly amusing. to be fair, you spend far too much time with satoru, and deflection is a family trait. 
you finger tsumiki’s hair, pushing it from her eyes. “should we take a break?” you ask them both. “or do you want to talk about it now?”
“break,” megumi says, immediately.
“talk about it now,” tsumiki answers, at the same time. 
for two people who are so alike, they sure think differently. you want to smile at the very predictable answers but refrain.
“okay…” you pause, thinking. “tsumiki, why don’t you tell us why you’re upset? megumi will do the same, and then we can take a break, or keep going.” 
they both glare at each other. 
“and nothing mean," you add because it feels necessary. 
tsumiki sniffs. “everyone at school says that you’re cruel,” she tells him, a devastating pout on her face. “and i don’t like that. you’re my brother, and i want people to like you like i do.” 
you both look at megumi, waiting. 
he's silent for a moment, processing his sister's words, but then he’s got a scowl on his face. “i don’t care what they think, they’re all stupid anyway—“ 
“megumi.” 
he looks at you, pleading blue eyes. you can see that tsumiki got under his skin, but you shake your head. 
“see?” tsumiki complains, voice high-pitched. “he’s always—“ 
you wipe away a tear, nodding. “i know, sweetie, but it’s his turn. you can go next.”
you turn to megumi, wanting to laugh at his annoyed face. “don’t call your classmates names," you say, giving him a look. "it's your turn. tell tsumiki why you’re upset, megumi.” 
he sighs again, looking towards the floor. he kicks at the hardwood, shaking his head. “i don’t like it when you baby me. i don’t need you to defend me, or try and take care of me at school. i’m fine.” 
tsumiki swallows, not saying anything. 
you look between the two of them, trying to read the complex emotions of your almost-teenagers. unfortunately, they're closed off from you, and you can only guess. 
both of your hands rest on one of their shoulders, squeezing. “do you both want to answer? or should we sit down for a bit? i can make a snack or something. it might be good to cool off." 
you say it mostly for yourself, because, honestly, any second you're going to break. 
the two children look at each other, communicating telepathically, and then they nod.
“you should treat everyone respectfully,” tsumiki says, as an answer. “even if you don’t care what they think, you should still be nice.” 
megumi frowns. “if i don’t want to talk to someone, i shouldn’t have to.” 
“but you just told her to go away. she probably feels bad now, and—“ 
“i don’t even know her," megumi interrupts, brows furrowing. 
okay, so maybe you should've separated them a couple of minutes ago. 
“chiyo's my friend!” 
megumi rolls his eyes. “just because she’s your friend doesn’t mean she has to be mine.” 
“but you were mean.” 
you look between the two of them, megumi annoyed and tsumiki frustrated. 
“okay, kids.” you breathe out, wishing you had a brother to fight with, just so you knew what it felt like. just so you could be a part of this argument. “i know you’re both mad, and you disagree. that’s fine. let’s take some space, breathe, maybe i can—“
“just because you think i was being mean doesn’t mean that i was," megumi blurts out, like he can't hold it in.  
you pause, mouth opening. you're about to say something, but you don't get the chance.
“if everyone doesn’t like you,” tsumiki argues, “then it’s because you’re mean.” 
“maybe they just suck.” 
“they don’t suck. this is—“
and then it all breaks down.
“well well,” satoru peeks his head around the corner, white hair a shock to all three of you. “look who’s falling apart without me.”
you sigh immediately, a hand against your temple. of course he would come in at the worst moment possible. “satoru, please go back out the door. i'm sure you forgot something at the store."
the two kids look at satoru, neither one of them happy to see him. there's a similar fire in their eyes, and you know that if he hadn't shown up they would've continued arguing until you pulled them apart. 
he walks over to you, slinging an arm across your shoulder. his grin is far too self-satisfactory. "what'd you do?" he asks, tapping you. 
"i didn't do anything," you tell him, "leave them alone. they're working it out." 
"by yelling at each other?" 
you push his arm off of you, glaring. "you just walked in at a bad moment--" 
you say something else, telling him to get out again, and satoru laughs back at you, asking if you missed him, and neither of you seems to realize that the two kids are just staring at you.
megumi and tsumiki share a look, like this is a typical occurrence (it is), then shake their heads at the same time, like an echo of each other. 
their faces have cooled, scowls fading as you and satoru bicker. 
tsumiki sighs and megumi scratches the back of his neck, and for a moment, they both avoid each other's eyes. 
but eventually, you and satoru look back at them. 
"i don't want to talk anymore," megumi tells all of you, beginning to walk away. satoru tries to grab the back of his shirt to keep him in place, but megumi just shrugs him off. 
and then he walks down the hallway to his room and closes the door gently, clearly no longer bothered by anything tsumiki said. or maybe too bothered. 
but, you think, at least he didn't slam the door. 
you can recall yourself telling satoru to give him space, to let megumi deal with his emotions as he pleases before you force him back into the spotlight, to apologize or hug tsumiki, or... 
you blink and look back at her. she's still got a small pout on her face, but her eyes have relaxed, as red-rimmed as they are. you know, and tsumiki knows, that she's really just worried about him. trying to protect him in her own, sisterly way. 
and, really, there's not much you can teach her about that. 
so you just smile gently at tsumiki, wiping away some moisture from her face. "just give him a bit, hmm? let him think." 
she sighs but relaxes into your hand for a moment, her shoulders slouching as she gives into defeat. and then tsumiki shrugs at you, agreeing despite herself, and walks over to satoru to give him half of a hug. 
it's not a moment later that she follows megumi and walks down the hall, escaping to her room. you both listen as her door closes.
"wow," satoru whispers, shaking his head. "you did a number on them." 
"they had a fight about school," you say, nudging him. "i had no part in any of it. i just walked in." 
he wraps two arms around the back of your neck, smiling eagerly at you. "so what you're saying is, it isn't your fault?" 
he's mocking himself, and the reoccurring events that happen when you leave him in charge. which you've sworn to never do again, by the way. 
you scoff. "when i get home you've started all the problems," you tell him, shaking your head. "they're fighting because you instigated something." 
"we're communicating." 
"whatever."
satoru quirks a brow at you, eyes just barely visible behind his glasses. "the parenting books aren't doing much for you, are they?" he asks, rhetorically. 
"you realize i caught you with those in your room multiple times right? i know you read them." 
"you'll never prove it," he says, smiling maliciously. 
"and neither will your parenting skills." 
satoru snorts, nudging his nose against yours in an odious way. "clearly, you guys can't last a day without me." 
"it wasn't a day," you argue, shivering at his touch. "more like an hour. you just went to the store..." you pause, tilting your head at him. "and where are the groceries, by the way?" 
satoru looks away, hands tapping on the back of your neck, humming innocently. "oh, i might've... slightly misplaced those." 
"satoru." 
"i got distracted--but it's not my fault. there's a new kakigori shop down the block." 
you look at him blandly. 
satoru, because he cannot be trusted, smiles sweetly at you as he places a peck on your lips, as a sort of apology. 
obviously, you don't return it. not even in the slightest.
satoru hums as he pulls back, already knowing that he's won. "so, i'll just get dinner..." he says, grinning at you. 
you roll your eyes but wrap your hands around his neck, letting a little smile fall across your face. 
*
you and satoru are sitting on the couch when you see megumi creeping down the hall, on his tiptoes, purposefully not looking at the two of you. 
it's been an hour or two, the silence echoing across the house almost a bad omen. 
but you decided not to bother either of them. considering the fact that you still don't know why they were really fighting, or why they didn't just talk about it like they usually would, it seemed like the best option. 
and also, satoru shouldn't be involved in any conflict resolution. he'd probably suggest wrestling it out in the backyard. 
still, as you watch him pass by, you lean away from satoru, your legs completely tangled in his. you stretch your neck to watch him, relying on satoru's hand around your waist to keep you steady, but he's too far down the hall for you to see where he's going. 
but a moment later, you hear him knock on a door, and then a small, quiet voice telling him to come in. 
you relax back against satoru, already grinning proudly. "see? i fixed it." 
satoru laughs, his breath soft against your temple. "you didn't do anything. megumi just felt guilty." 
"well, i taught him that." 
satoru noses the side of your head. "mmm, i'm pretty sure i did." 
"of course you didn't." 
he shakes you a little, as a punishment for your words, but sighs. "what were they fighting about anyway?" 
"megumi was mean to one of tsumiki's friends, i think. i missed... pretty much all of it." 
"who?" 
you frown. "chiyo?" 
satoru snorts a little, and you shift to look at him, raising your brow. "megumi mentioned her."
you turn even more, eyes wide. you poke his cheek with a finger, and then wave for him to continue.  
satoru groans, fingers trailing through your hair. "he said that he overheard some girls talking about 'miki." 
"behind her back?" 
satoru smiles, a bit sadly, nodding. 
"oh." 
"yeah, oh." 
you frown. “what did they say?”
satoru licks his lips, watching your eyes as you concentrate on him. “dunno. megumi wouldn’t tell me.”
you roll your eyes. “of course not,” you say, sighing. “and he didn’t tell her?”
satoru winces. "okay, so… maybe i told him not to,” he whispers, like a confession, voice going a bit high at the end. and then he laughs at your annoyed expression. "what? i didn't want her to get sad." 
you shake your head at him, tsking. 
you could scold him for protecting tsumiki, but you know that you probably would've done the same. 
so you just turn back towards the hallway, resting your head against his shoulder. after a moment, satoru nuzzles himself into your neck, humming against your skin. 
it's a very unpleasant feeling. 
"do you think i should go get them for dinner?" you ask him, quietly. 
"nah," he kisses the side of your neck, looking down the hall with you. "give them a little while." 
and it's about twenty minutes later that the two siblings walk back into the living room, megumi's lip quirked at tsumiki, and tsumiki beaming back.
after all, you and satoru have taught them well. 
*
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neochan · 9 months
Text
FAULT LINE (M) - TEASER
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PAIRING. ex!haechan x reader
GENRE. exes to lovers, toxic relationship, smut, plot of sorts, street racer au (barely)
WARNINGS. toxicity, smut mentions
WC. teaser is 1.1k
A. NOTE. so i needed a break from the pick me chronicles and stumbled across this type of hyuck characterization!
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"where the fuck are you at?"
blearily blinking, you take a look around. when did you step outside? you think as hard as you can, but nothings coming too. you're drunk. very drunk.
people littered the front of the club - some waiting on ubers, others making out. but you - why were you out here? where were your friends?
"y/n. tell me where the fuck you are."
oh shit.
the phone pressed to your ear brings you back into a sort of semi-focus. you faintly remember crying to a random stranger in the bathroom about your recent break up. the poor girl had reassured you that everything would be okay, but you barely recall pushing her aside and mumbling something about calling your ex to make up.
that was until you had caught the attention of a guy at the bar and ended up doing green tea shots with him.
oh.
oh shit.
okay yeah, every memory was bombarding you now.
if the the still sticky cum dribbling down your thighs didn't serve as a reminder, than the memory of him pressing your hips against the porcelain sink while he fucked into you should have.
"y/n?"
and then you stepped outside to call your ex because. . . you felt bad? yeah you felt bad.
his voice was becoming more impatient with each passing silent second.
"hy-uck?" you hiccup.
he sighs, "god, i thought you passed out or something."
he didn't sound mad. had you already told him what you did? you can't remember.
"hyuck." the whimper trembles from your lips, "i need you."
"i know, that's why you called me." he seems to be fumbling around with something on his end, the muffled strain of his voice giving it away. "baby, where are you? i called you earlier but you didn't hit me back."
tears start to well in your eyes as you press against the brick wall of the club.
"i went out dancing and i did something bad. i-i'm sorry." your words are slurring together and it's becoming harder to breathe. "i didn't mean to, he- he just. . ." your voice trails off in a whisper.
"he? who the fuck are you with?" the jangle of keys sounds on the other line, a few seconds later accompanied by the slam of haechans front door. his temper is rising. he knows he should calm down. shit, he's probably scaring you bad right now, but the thought of you with another guy? you broke up two days ago. why the fuck would you be with another guy.
"i fucked up, hyuck."
"this isn't a game. send me your fucking address." the purr of his car engine rumbles through the phone.
shakily, you take the phone from your ear and send him your location.
"i'll be there in five." another sigh on his end... "if i see whoever this guy is, i'm not sure i'd be able to stop myself from killing him."
you hiccup, "yeah, i know."
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four minutes and thirty eight seconds later a black ford shelby GT500 screeches to a halt against the curb.
through blurry eyes, you watch as grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt approach your slouched figure. his jaw is set, eyebrows drawn up - yet you feel nothing but relief.
"jesus, how much did you fucking drink?" he scoops you up in his arms to help you stand despite your wobbly frame. the earth is swimming in your frame with each step you take, but being pressed against his lean body grounds you. so does the cologne doting his chest - so familiar and warm, you press your nose into his t-shirt.
"you smell good." you hum.
"thanks." he peers down at you with a curiosity you don't notice. maybe the breakup affected you way more than he thought because he's never seen you this fucked up. "theres a curb right here, be careful."
deep in your muddled brain, you want to kiss him and thank him for coming to get you - for actually being worried about you for once.
but you don't.
instead, you climb into the rich leather interior of his car and settle back. it stings, being back in a place you once felt so comfortable in. tears pinprick the corner of your eyes for a quick second, but you blink them away. you just let hyuck reach across your chest and buckle you in.
"hyuck i'm sorry."
his gaze fall to yours, millions of emotions lurking deep in those luminous doe eyes. you look nearly innocent and he felt bad.
he swears underneath his breath, "your guilty conscious is gonna be the death of me."
a shaky hand reaches out to touch his cheek. a familiar gesture you can't yet get rid of - not when he's three inches away from you. "hyuck-"
"fuck this." he pulls back and cards a hand through his hair. "what were you doing with another guy?"
"we- we were doing shots and -"
"how many." he breathes.
"a couple? i don't know, maybe. . . maybe three?"
a forced huff leaves his chest, "three shots with a fucking stranger?"
"hyuck, i said i'm sorry-" your hands twist regrettably in your lap.
"yeah yeah, and then what?" he's leaning against the passenger doorframe, leg bouncing right next to you.
"and then he took me into the bathroom and we fucked."
a few seconds of silence. you try to face him. you can't. why did everything have to be so complicated.
"you fucked another guy but called me to come get you?" he sneers. he has to have lost all respect for you. there's no way he hasn't.
"i'm sorr-"
"i get it. you're sorry." he pushes off the doorframe and starts to pace. "what's his name?"
the lump in your throat grows when you realize you never caught his name. "i don't know."
"you don't know? so you fucked a complete stranger?" a laugh rips from his throat, "this is unbelievable."
"can we just go? please."
he ignores your question and presses you further, "what does he look like?"
"hyuck no. please, can we go."
each word is punctuated by the grit in his teeth. "what does he fucking look like."
it was futile to argue with hyuck when he got this way. he was gonna find out who this guy was either way.
"pink hair, silver button down, black pants, expensive watch. probably drinking green tea shots." the details of the night might have been distorted, but you could have picked out this handsome stranger in a line up.
"stay right here. i'll be back."
"no! hyu-" your cry is cut off by the slam of your door. anxiously, you watch his lithe figure move past the bouncer and into the club. a sinking feeling falls in the pit of your stomach.
what the fuck did you do.
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ANOTHER NOTE. is this worth continuing? let me know if it is :)
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reticent-writer · 3 months
Note
Hi! I love your writing and I have a whole PLOT IN MY HEAD. So basically, Adam's daughter has a fight with him about exterminations. The same night, she sneaks down to hell and stays with some other demons she meets, and up in heaven all chaos broke loss cause a pre-teej was lost, and where could she have gone?! She's not on earth, or heaven- and than Adam realizes, and can you make headcannons of this please?
Make sure to take care of yourself!
hello, thank you so much❤️I will take care of myself if you do as well.
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✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿ 
Adam and Lute had just gotten back from an extermination to see you glaring at them.
"Aw is someone mad at dear old dad." He said in a baby voice before sighing, "The fuck do you want from me."
"Uh not kill them."
"Uh can't do that."
Lute excused herself, she heard this argument to see where it was going.
"And why not."
"You know the reason."
"B-bu-"
"B-b-but nothing. You're not dumb don't fucking act like it."
By this point he was in your face with a frown that quickly grew into a smile.
"But cheer up. Those sorry shitbags get another 6 months and you get to spend time with earth's and heaven first dick master."
Ignoring the fact that he's calling himself a dickmaster he said that there was 6 months until the next extermination.
"6 months? why 6 months?"
"I'm tired... Goodnight." He avoided your question and scaddled to his room.
"YOU CAN'T GET TIRED IN HEAVEN ASSHOLE!" You shouted as you heard his door slam.
You didn't go to sleep that night, you couldn't. You wanted to see what makes hell hell.
You left everything and made a small portal to hell
the first thing that you noticed was the smell
it was RANCID, like you could barely breath and first
Next was the colors, most to everything is red or gray it took some getting used to
Lastyly was the people, it was the completely opposite of heaven (which you expected) but at least the cannibals were nice
It took you like 2 weeks to get settled and when you were Adam was going crazy looking for you
He made it everybody's business too
It took his dumb ass 3 months to figure out you were in hell
he went down there immediately to look for you
He practically dragged you back upstairs.
"The FUCK is your problem?"
"It took you nearly 4 months to find me and before you say anything else... hell is a really shitty place and the people are even shittier," You muttered but he heard every word and wide the widest grin. " But i still don't see the need for exterminations."
"I fucking told your bitch ass but no you wanted to come down here and prove my point. hell is shitty and sinners deserve nothing. The only thing good down there is the porn."
he definitely has selective hearing.
✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・**・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿ 
Omg I just thought about combining my Alastor teen reader with Adam's teen reader and making them meet but idk how I would write it out.
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slutforalastor · 14 days
Note
"Ah, he's got this problem." Your friend Mimzy waved her hand. "You know how animal demons get. I'd take care of him myself but I wouldn't want to spoil our working relationship. We go way back, you know."
Slowly, you nodded. "You'd consider it a personal favour?" That was how things worked in Hell. A consideration for a consideration. And dealing with the Radio Demon in rut was hardly a small favour, even if it did play well to your preferences.
"To me, yeah." Mimzy smiled broadly. "Just take him to a private room in the back and see that he's calmed down before it's time for the show. If he's cranky he's gonna start eating people, ugh." She fluttered her hand again. "Don't worry, though, he's an absolute sweetheart."
Seeing the Radio Demon turn sideways to get through the door, eyes glowing red and his huge rack of antlers festooned with cables, you were starting to doubt Mimzy's definition of sweetheart.
THIS POST CONTAINS MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS. 18+
Content: Rutting, antlerplay, role reversal, give and take, banter, mutual masturbation, light femdom, biting, marking, a lot of flowery language for smut
You'd heard the stories and rumors, saw the occasional report on VNN, but you'd yet to encounter the Radio Demon for yourself. Even pushed to the edge where something resembling humanity plunges into dark depths of depravity, he's maintaining a grip on decorum, his wavering smile barely forming the syllables when he introduces himself as Alastor, his voice impossibly mimicking the sound of a mono recording from a bygone time. Mimzy is going to owe you big-time.
"I'm doing well, sir. I have to say, you look like you've had an awful day."
"It is... most inconvenient," he stammers, shaking his head like a beached animal trying to throw off water. Just as Mimzy had requested, you'd waited for him in the private room, and you're still laying in the bed, your body draped across the two rows of firm pillows, down to your lingerie for his ease. With wobbling steps, he begins to close the distance, loosening his bowtie.
"I really must insist that this matter... stay between us." The restraint he's displaying seems as though it's taking every bit of faculties he can spare; his breathing, his sight, his ability to stand, all seem to be sustained with the minimum amount of effort possible. Even glazed in electric red, you can tell his eyes are focused intently on you.
"Who would believe me, anyhow?"
"... Too true, no one would dream of calling me a liar," he agrees, pulling his waistcoat off and leaving it in a heap on the bureau. His undershirt is the same deep red, intersecting black stripes making a cross across the center of his chest. He rolls his sleeves up, then sets his cane on top of his waistcoat. "Any... sensitivities I should know about?"
"I like being kissed on the neck," you venture, playing it safe for opening bids.
He laughs wickedly, the glow casting light further than it could reach before, his antlers growing another section in size, branching out that much closer to the ceiling. "Oh, Mimzy didn't tell me you'd be so pure. Surely you have something more entertaining than that?"
"You think I do this sort of thing often enough to have an itemized list?"
He tuts at your attempt at banter, removing his shoes and leaving them in the gap under the bed. "I don't have time for experimentation, my dear. I'm asking if you think you can handle what I have to give."
"I've handled everything so far," you smirk.
"Let's see how you handle the best, then," he mutters. With a wave of his hand, a black tentacle rises to wrap around your midsection, pinning you in place. He's climbing onto the bed, teeth bared like an animal seconds from pouncing. There's hunger in his eyes, desperation in his motion, a frantic bent to the way he's starting to falter, his kayfabe crumbling with every push of his knees. He's got your legs open, mounting you, and you can feel something alive and thrashing, barely contained by the slacks tenting away from his midsection. His eyes are narrowed in ravenous anticipation, his hips pressing him into you, etching his longing lengthwise against the fabric of your underwear. You feel your upper teeth against your lip, knowing that despite all your talk, you can't hide how appreciative you are of his straightforward approach.
With a hoarse exhale, he fumbles with his belt, the restraining tentacle slipping southward to yank your panties down. Your eyes catch a glimpse of how prepared you are for what's coming next, the evidence staining a dark spot in the light fabric. The Radio Demon hikes his slacks down to the midsection of his thighs, the tip of his firmness kissing against your entrance, his erratic movements keeping him from slipping in. You take it in your hands, which makes him rear up in ecstasy, a hissing growl punctuating the reaction, and align it directly where it needs to go. With a thrust motivated by nothing more than primal need, he forces himself deep into you, grunting in satisfaction at your breathy gasps when it settles into your apex. He gives you little time to adjust, burying himself into you with harsh, crushing strokes, the red in his eyes leaving a tracer every time you shut your eyes against the force of it. His hands are against your forearms, pinning the both of them on either side, and when your head goes back, he finds the crook of your neck with his teeth, his tongue, his lips, seasoning you with scratches, leaving welts from kisses and bites. They sting like fire, they excite like aphrodisiac.
"Is that what you mean, my dear? Is that what you're looking for?"
You whimper something that sounds close enough to assent for him to grow bolder, making a map of your body, marking a trail, carving canyons, raising landmarks that stand red and pulsing against the canvas of your skin. All this in the throes of his rutting deep into you. It drives you mad, your legs wrapping around his waist, bidding him to see just how much of his mind he can lose.
"God, your fucking taste. It'd be such a shame to just devour you, though. So many uses for the whole." Or maybe you're using the homophone of that word to make him seem kinder.
A flailing hand finds your throat, freeing your arms by necessity. You catch onto the rack of black antlers nearly driving themselves into the headboard, using them for leverage to arch your back. You can't tell if you've irritated or excited him with your little move, but the result is the same; he's pressing you with enough force that you can feel the force of it in your midsection. You're seeing red, the sound of him making a mess of you ringing in your ears, two organs vying for sensations yet to be experienced, every other part of you a mere pretense, a chorus playing ensemble to the true performance. And he's reaching the climax of it, his bucking hips shaking your entire frame. You can feel every shift of his disposition in the bone of his antlers, and you hold on for dear life as his urge rushes into your lower half, filling you with thick heat. You're moaning unconsciously, letting him keep you impaled for as long as it pulses with diminishing vigor, feeling every twitch in his shaft as it empties itself. Finally spent, he releases you, the tentacle unwinding from around your waist. Your fingers, knuckles sore from strain, release his antlers, and you extricate yourselves from one another. You can feel his seed weep from between your legs, your breathing rapid, your skin slick with sweat. He collapses onto his back, his legs still entangled with yours, the fabric of his slacks a strange texture on your drenched skin. Straining, you lift your head up, seeing that despite his exhaustion, his cock hasn't calmed one bit.
"Still... not satisfied?"
"This damnable rut..."
You pull yourself up, your lower half numb and leaving a trail of translucence as you crawl to the space between his legs. You wrap a hand around him, and he breathes a hissing inhale that tapers into a low, long groan.
"I didn't ask you..."
"You look like you're in misery, you really don't want the help?"
"I am in no position to keep going..."
"So let me handle it."
You can see the conflict playing out in his expression, but his hips gently bucking against your hand tell a different tale. "Not a soul can know about this."
You nod your assent, giving the part that needs it more of your attention. It's as lively as when he was frotting it against you, throbbing with want, coated with spend. It makes a marvelous lubricant, the wet sound of skin against slick skin nearly obscuring his quiet moans.
"I couldn't help but notice that you have sensitivities of your own, sir."
"Surely you can't mean..."
Your free hand dances like a bird across the branches in his horns, his vocalizations and submissive thrusts suggesting that you have stricken quite the nerve. He's already oozing pre into your palm, a searching hand walking a blind path between your legs, caressing you in kind. You've got a wild idea, just crazy enough to sound worth doing. There's a real chance you'll never cross each other's path again, might as well indulge. You spot a path that ends in a blunt point in his rack, and take it into your mouth, flitting your tongue against the rough material, firm and tasteless, but eliciting such a response from him that you'd not dare release it. His fingers are stroking you with all the effort they can muster, his thrusts weak but sincere.
"Cannot believe... you're getting away with this," he whines, his voice so submissive compared to the one you first heard that it threatens to send you over the edge. Why not press your luck? You straddle his waist, inching him into you margin by maddening margin. He's got no more clever quips for you, his curled claws clutching fistfuls of ruined bedsheets. The view from on high is a pleasant one. A few more motions, and you feel that sensation alighting in him once again; you're ready to join him. His whimpers go up an octave, the crackling filter in his voice thickening, distorting. For the second time, he climaxes inside of you, your own orgasm arriving in tandem. The both of you cry out, his subdued and sweet, yours unrestrained and carnal. You fold into him, his initial reaction wanting to pull away, but he grants you this favor, letting you find the crook in his neck in parallel. He speaks unfiltered, more as Alastor than as the Radio Demon.
"You know, it can be so hard to find willing assistants for these difficult times. Perhaps I could call on you again, my dear."
Maybe it should be you that owes Mimzy.
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 11 months
Note
Wait but I need to know how the 141 boys would react to reader faking an orgasm 🤭
Ps, love your writing!!! I check your bag daily
141 + König Reacting To Reader Faking An Orgasm
Thank you so much for your kind words!!! I love to know when people enjoy reading what I write🩷🩵
Warnings: slight smut, p in v sex, slight angst, swearing, tears, and mentions of insecurity--ends in fluff
I didn't make this super smutty, made it slightly serious!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Simon Ghost Riley-
Simon honestly didn't mean to find it. He was walking by to finish with laundry and saw your journal laying on your vanity, wide open to a page talking about Simon. He was only human and couldn't control his curiosity as he skimmed over some of the words on the page. What he read had his heart sinking into his stomach.
He approached you about it later that night, his heart beating wildly as he was terrified of what you may say about it.
"Love?" Simon asked, hesitantly stopping in the doorway of your bedroom. His heart melted at the concerned look you gave him. "Can we talk?"
"Sure, Si. Is everything okay?" You asked, patting the bed next to you. Much to your dismay, Simon stayed where he was, his eyes glued to the floor.
"I was putting away laundry earlier, and.. I caught a glimpse of your diary." Simon started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You watched on, as he struggled to find the words. "I swear I didn't mean to look, but I saw that.. You've not had a real orgasm in months. That you were..faking them..for me."
Your heart stopped beating for a moment as you absorbed your husband's words. You never, ever meant for him to see that, and you didn't know what to say.
"I..." You trailed off as tears began to fall down your cheeks. "It's not you."
"Don't give me that, kid. If I can't please my own wife in bed, it is my fault. I'm so sorry." Simon's voice was barely above a whisper as he sat on a chair across from you. He put his head in his hands, still unable to look at you as his thoughts raced. Did you not want to be with him anymore? Did you finally realize that you could do better?
"Simon Riley, I meant it when I said it's not you. I've just...I've not been myself lately. I've got so much going on in my head, and my self-image has suffered because of it. I don't find myself beautiful anymore, and it's hard for me to believe you want me during sex."
Simon walked over to you and proceeded to climb over your figure on the bed. He pressed a gentle kiss to your jaw before looking deeply into your eyes. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on, Y/N. Let me show you."
"Simon, please don't feel like you have to. I feel like such a burden and-" He cut you off from your rambling by pressing his thumb against your lips.
"I want to. Let me take care of you." The look he gave you in that moment sent heat barreling down to your core, and you couldn't help the soft moan that escaped your lips.
His hand wandered into the waistband of your pants and groaned when he felt the wetness pooling in your folds. "I want you to cum on my tongue, sweet girl."
"Please, Si."
And that was all he needed to hear.
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Konig-
König was exhausted, and you knew that as well as he did. The two of you had been at it for a while now, and no matter what you or König did, your orgasm was far beyond your grasp.
You could feel Königs pace start to falter, as he'd continued going long after he'd found his own high in order to help you find yours.
You felt terrible, and you could tell he was desperately trying to keep a steady pace. You'd ended up just giving up on trying to find your own high, and decided to give your lover a break.
"Gonna cum, Kö." You breathed out, doing your best to authenticate an orgasm. You let out a small squeal, throwing your head back against the pillow as you forced your body to shake slightly.
König stopped his movements and looked down at you with a concerned look on his face. "Maus?"
You looked up at him questioningly. "Yeah?"
"Did....did you just fake it?" König asked, his voice quivering slightly. König had been with you for a few months now, and he knew how it felt when you had an orgasm, so he knew that you didn't just have one.
"I..." Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you averted your eyes from your lover's inquisitive gaze. "I'm so sorry."
"Was I..not good enough?" König looked like he was on the verge of tears, and it tore your heart in two.
"No, no, that's not it at all, baby." You cooed, your hand reaching out to cup his cheek softly. "I just.. I feel so bad. I know you're tired, and it takes a lot for me to cum. I didn't want to impose."
Königs eyes softened at your words. "Maus, don't ever feel like it's imposing on me. I don't care if I didn't get sleep for days, making you cum is something that makes me feel good."
"It's really okay, Kö. I just dont think it's going to happen for me tonight. I'm not sure why, but I'm just not feeling it." Your eyes turned downward, looking anywhere but your boyfriend. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize, Schatz. It's okay." He spoke softly as he pulled himself out of you. He let out a hiss, his overstimulated cock throbbing from the cold air. "Follow me."
He stood up, and made his way to the bathroom, and the sound of the tub faucet running had you trudging your way over to him. "What are you doing?"
"Running us a bath, love."
~
You settled yourself against him in the tub, letting the warm water soak into your skin. König chuckled at the sigh that escaped your lips. His hands made their way to your shoulders, kneading into the knots that had formed there.
"K-Kö, you don't have t-to." You stuttered, your eyes falling shut as you relished in his touch.
"Hush, Maus. Let me take care of you tonight."
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Kyle Gaz Garrick-
Kyle's pace was brutal as he continued to chase his high. His hands grasped at yours, putting them over your head as he pounded into you.
You knew he was getting close, and you also knew that you were nowhere near your release. You felt his abdomen tightening, and threw your head back, your mouth opening in a silent "o".
With a final snap of his hips, he let out a guttural moan as his orgasm rippled through him. You shivered slightly as you felt his cock pulsing inside of you, the warmth of his cum filling you.
He looked down on you as his breath began to steady itself. "Did you not cum?"
"I did." You nodded, confused by the look on your lover's face. "Why?"
"Babe, if you didn't cum, it's okay, you can tell me." Kyle sat up, his tone serious, which let you know that he knew the truth. You weren't yourself tonight, and he knew you better than you thought.
"I'm so sorry, I just... I can't get in the mood tonight, and I... I didn't want to hurt your feelings." You felt your eyes grow hot with tears as you averted your gaze.
"Don't ever apologize, sweetheart. You can always tell me if you're not in the mood. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to have sex. I'm a grown man, I can go without it. Just being around you is enough for me." He said, pulling your chin upwards, forcing you to look at him.
"But... but I lied." You stuttered, not understanding how Kyle wasn't upset with you.
"I know, but I get it. I'm not mad at all, babe. I promise." He pulled out of you slowly, before grabbing a towel off the side of the bed to wipe you off.
He climbed into bed, pulling you against him. He pressed a warm kiss to your lips, causing you to sigh against him. "I love you, Y/N. Don't ever forget that."
"I love you too, Kyle." You replied, pulling back with a smile.
"I will say, though. Tomorrow? You're not leaving this bed until I get you to cum at least twice."
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Johnny Soap MacTavish-
"Fuck, fuck I'm so close." Johnny grunted as his eyes fluttered shut. Your walls were hugging around his length in such a way that Johnny wasn't able to prolong his orgasm any longer. "Cum with me, babe."
You felt terrible, you didn't know what to do. You'd not been close all night to reaching your high, and you didn't have the heart to tell your boyfriend. "Cumming, Johnny."
You shook your body slightly as his thrusts faltered slightly as he came inside you, his cum painting your walls white as he moaned softly into your ear. He took a moment to compose himself before looking down at you with a concerned gaze. "Babe, did you cum?"
"Yeah?" You were concerned that he knew, as quickly averted your eyes from his gaze.
"Y/N, honey, you don't have to fake it for me. I know sometimes it takes more than just sex to get you off, and that's okay." He stroked your cheek gently, wiping away the stray tears that began to fall.
His gaze dropped to your lips before pressing his own to them. The kiss started slow, your mouths moving in tandem before he slid his tongue into your mouth.
"I just don't know why I couldn't tonight. I don't know what will help. I feel like such a jerk."
"You're not a jerk, Bonnie. Not at all." He gazed deeply into your eyes as he spoke. "I just want to make you feel good."
You let out a soft groan, your arms moving to encompass his shoulders, pulling him down toward you.
He broke away from the kiss, and you watched as his fingers began to toy with your clit. He chuckled softly as he watched your face scrunch together in pleasure. He rolled your clit in between his fingers, before plunging them into your hole.
"I'm going to make you cum tonight, if it's the last damn thing I do."
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John Price-
"I know Y/BF/N. I don't know how to tell him, though. It's not like he's not good in bed, he really is. I just dont know why I havent been able to cum latley." Your voice was quiet, but unfortunately for you, John was passing by the room right as you said those words.
John stopped in his tracks as he looked into your shared bedroom and saw that your head was in your hands. He swallowed thickly, unsure of what to do with the newfound information. He was just about to walk away, when you caught a glimpse of him through the crack in the door.
You quickly hung up with your friend and ran to throw open the door. There was an awkward pause before you mustered the courage to speak.
"John, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear that." You felt tears pricking in the corners of your eyes, your humiliation seeping through your voice. "I just.. I was so ashamed to tell you."
"Don't apologize, love. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, either." John pulled you into a hug and pressed a kiss to your hair. "You've been extra stressed with work latley, and I know my coming and going for my work hasn't helped either."
"I still feel terrible. I just didn't know how to tell you. It's not that I don't want it, I really do, I just... I didn't know why it was so hard for me to find my release." You sniffled, hugging John tighter.
"Don't feel terrible. Next time, just tell me, yeah? I should've known they weren't real. You get this cute little fucked out face when you cum, I haven't been seeing it latley." He chuckled, before pulling away from you slightly. "You know what this means, though, right?"
"No, what?" You asked, peering up at your boyfriend.
John gave you a wolfish grin before pushing you backward onto the bed. He climbed over top of you, lifting the hem of your nightgown to reveal your lower half to him.
With his eyes locked on you, he pulled aside your panties before plunging his face into your core. His tongue immediately went to flick through your folds, collecting the pool of wetness that had begun to form. You let out a surprised gasp, your hands flying to John's hair.
"Means I'm gonna stay here all night til my baby girl cums for me, for real."
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A/N: thanks for reading!
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fan-goddess · 1 year
Note
Helloooo love! I'm a fan lurking in the dark with a request idea for Aemond x Reader. Would love to see your take on Aemond trying to win Reader back (his wife) after she found out about Alys. Maybe this happens after the "Dance" , Aemond survives and they have to deal with the aftermath of Alys. Reader loved him with everything she had so she feels betrayed and turns cold to him and maybe because of Alys, something also happened to her (idk lost pregnancy perhaps but PLEASE exclude this if you don't feel comfortable writing it). Basically take everything you find interesting from this request and work your magic - I trust you like no other!!! Thank you I send you all the love there is - you are very very talented and please know there are many like me that think you are truly brilliant, I know it!!! :*:*
Authors Note: Oh my god thank you this is so freakin sweet! 🥺 I’m happy to take the request and spin my take on this, hope you enjoy it! :)
Also, some of the stuff Is made up like the time between Daemons death and end of the war. I don’t know it so I made it up. If you don’t like it take it up with my dms
Word count: 2.6K
Warnings: Cheating, miscarriage though it’s not explicit, she’s kinda depressed? Not sure how to describe it,
Taglist: @blue-serendipity
The Sequels: The Depressive one, The happy One
—————
If Aemond ever regretting not killing anyone throughout the war he technically started, most would’ve immediately assumed that he wished he never killed his nephew. Though they were wrong. Yes, Lucerys’ death became one of the many causes of the war and in turn deaths of so many people, but his death didn’t result in the loss of you and your child.
Alys’ death could’ve though.
When he first met Alys, he had been nearly immediately enraptured and enamoured by had. She was quite different to you. While you had always been headstrong and never afraid to tell Aemond what he needed to do or to be, Alys had been more docile and had no issue in telling Aemond all the things he wanted to hear.
He regretted the first time he laid with Alys in his bed. Though that regret went away the more time he spent with her and the more times he laid with her. He begun to think of possibly taking after Aegon the conqueror, thinking he’d have both you and Alys by his side when Aegon most likely drank himself to death.
That fantasy was soon ruined when he got that letter.
Dear Aemond,
Do you think of me as a fool? I know about that fucking woman Aemond. I know about Alys. I don’t know why you have decided to betray our marriage and honestly, I don’t think care I can bring myself to think about it nor care anymore. This letter was originally going to be happy. A letter letting you know what we prayed near everyday from the seven had finally come true and been answered. I was with child. Our child made purely of what I had thought was love. Though that changed when I was informed of what you had done. I mourned for what we could’ve had. I cried and refused to believe it at first, though soon I came to my senses. Yet it was too late. Our child is dead Aemond. I woke up a few days ago to heavy blood staining our bedsheets. The child was barely two months according to the maester. I wish for you to know it is your fault Aemond. I do not wish to ever see you again. I wish to never hear from you so if you attempt to reconcile or send a letter I will pay for our child’s blood with your own. You have dug your grave Aemond. Don’t try and dig it deeper. If you are to die in battle, I hope it is painful. I hope you suffer like I have.
From, your wife
From your former wife
Aemond had felt his heart plummet to the floor when he read that letter. He could not stop the tears that fell to the floor and stained the letter he still was holding. The ink blotting and staining the page so much the words were becoming near illegible.
He attempted to head into battle with the faint hope that you’d forgive him if he killed his uncle. Though even he knew deep down that no amount of deaths could fix anything. Yet even still he tried. He defeated Daemon, with blood of which Targaryen man he did not know staining and pooling on his ripped armour.
Aemond came home where he was met with his mother and brother, who both congratulated him on his victory. Though even with their congrats he could see the disgust that lingered in his mothers gaze as she looked at him. It made his shame all that more prominent.
He would’ve gone to see you, but Aegon stopped him before he could, claiming he was holding a feast in his name for the defeat of Daemon. He tried to look for you in the amount of people that came, yet he couldn’t. And he didn’t dare ask his mother if you would be coming in fear of her glare and disappointment.
That night he wonders something. Maybe it would’ve been better if he did die by the hand of his uncle? Then it would’ve saved him from all this torture. Though he can’t say he didn’t deserve it. Aemond can only wallow in his drinks that he keeps being given and his own sorrow.
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Aemond was back home. The words the maids said echoed in your head. He’s here, and no doubt going to attempt to reconcile. If there was one thing you ever learnt about your husband, was that he never quit at anything he started.
You already made bets with yourself on how he’d attempt to do it.
Maybe he’ll try flowers? No that’s too much of a common move for Aemond to pull… Maybe he’ll bring you some jewellery? No that’d make him feel like he was buying for your forgiveness. Like he was buying something for a mistress. Well… he’s been there and done that…
There is always the chance Aemond will not even attempt to reconcile. Hopefully becoming too overcome by the grief and pain of the loss of his and your child that he’d respect your wishes after reading your own pain on paper. The maids still look at you worriedly, especially when they find you sitting near the window. You know why they worry, you mourned Helaena and Jahaerys and you know you will not become like her.
Aegon was also the one who told you about Alys, and when you lost your child and screamed for the whole of the castle to hear, it was Aegon who ran to you to mourn with you and hold you while you cried for a life you may have been able to have. He held you in the way a brother would hold a sister. He even cried with you and helped clean you of the blood. Oh the blood…
———
It’s been a few long months, but the war between the greens and the blacks is finally over. Aegon is celebrating by holding a massive banquet and all the lord and ladies who supported him are invited. Even though Aemond knows it will not happen, he secretly hopes you will come to celebrate.
Though as he keeps sneaking glances at the door all night he eventually comes to term with the fact you’re not coming. He can only swallow more bitter wine and ignore the fact he’s drinking it like a fish in water now.
He’s attempted to reconcile from a distance ever since the incident but everything he has sent to your chambers has come back in shreds. The flowers from the garden you loved to look after, heads torn from their stems and cut into a thousand pieces. The books he sent on your favourite topic, you had more restraint on them and simply chucked them from your window onto unsuspecting bystanders bellow.
Aegon told him delightfully how after he delivered the books to you, they were seen immediately thrown from the window and one had supposedly managed to hit one knight straight on the head, effectively knocking him out cold.
Though if anything those small acts of defiance made Aemond wish to reunite and return to you even more. It reminded him just why he fell in love with you in the first place. Your wit and your wisdom made him fall head over heals for you, literally.
He had tripped in front of you and some other ladies of the court due to the load of books he was carrying. He had not yet gotten used to the visual impairments the loss of his eye provided and did not see the thrown goblet in his path. Aemond had effectively turned scarlet when the ladies began to mockingly giggle at him, it nearly made his heart beat straight from his chest when he saw you come to his help. “You need to get some help with those. It’s not that bad to ask for help you know? Means you aren’t a stubborn twat.” You grin.
He wished he could go back to those days. They were simpler. They held no knowledge of the war they would face. It held no knowledge of the bastard from Harrenhal.
Aemond had not tried to reunite with you in person. He knew you’d most definitely follow through with your threat and spill his blood. It’s why he attempted to send you items instead through the maids. Though it’s very obvious those weren’t working either. That’s when he got the idea to write you letters. There was easily a chance that you would burn them or tear them the moment you saw the writing. Yet even then Aemond knew he had to try…
———
“Princess. I have another item sent from the prince for you.” One of the maids said as she carefully approached your bed. The sun had already hit its peak that day, though you could not bring yourself to get out of bed. The only time you could bring yourself too was either with the help of your maids, or when Aemond sent a supposed gift to you which you’d immediately destroy.
“What is it this time?” You sigh. “Is it something that I am supposed to eat? Because if it is i’d like it if you took to the servants quarters and give it to them and not-“
“It’s not food related my princess. It’s a letter.” When you look towards the maid you can see the sad expression clear on her face. This maid has brought you many of Aemonds attempts at reconciliation.
“What is your name?” It does not give you any sort of pleasure when the maid looks shocked at the fact a princess is asking for the name of a maid. “Its not a trick question I want to know your name.”
“Klarisa my princess. My name is Klarissa.”
“Klarisa do you think I should read the letter my bastard of a husband as written to me?” You look carefully at Klarisas face, the decision of your lifetime hanging in a mere maids hands.
“To be honest with you my lady…” Klarisa takes a deep breath and puts on a sympathetic face. You appreciate that she wishes to give you honesty, though that sympathetic face makes you want to punch her. “What the prince did was inexcusable after the way the two of you acted before… her. You got to have a husband who loves you and cared for you, that itself is much more than most of the women who are forced into a marriage can hope for. The prince is trying to make up for it and is also respective your boundaries. Not many could say that they got to have a husband who did even one of those things. So yes my princess, I believe you should read the letter.” You take a deep breathe and loosen your hands, which seemed to have clenched so tightly your nails all but pierce into your palms.
“Give me the letter then leave. If you see the prince, do not tell him that you for once got me to think about even looking at his weak apologies. Just put your head down, and walk away. Do you understand Klarisa?”
“Yes my princess.” Klarisa moves swiftly to the doors to your chambers, opening it and moving forward, only to stop for a moment and turn on her heels towards to. “I hope you get what it is you seek my princess. For your own sake.” She turns back to the door and closes it behind her, leaving you alone with the letter in your hand which already feels like it’s burning you. Yet you prevail, and slowly open the letter to read it.
Dear ñuha jorrāelagon,
I will not waste my breath in attempting to gain your forgiveness. I know better than anyone that when you stick your mind to something you keep it that way. Though what I will say is the truth, which I know will hurt you and anger you more than anything but i know it’s what you wish to hear.
Alys was a woman I believed to be falling in love with. She was something what I believed I needed in my life. A woman to be docile and to whisper all the things I needed to hear in my ear. Though after your letter, it became my wake up. I cut off all contact with Alys after realising how much I hurt you. I regret that woman everyday I have not been with you. You are the only woman I need to be with. I love that you are not docile and will not take any man’s shit (as you so clearly and often tended to put it). I love that you challenge me and encourage the debates we so often hold. I love you Rhaella, more than any woman before in my life. I’m sorry it took another woman and the life of our child for me to realise it. I understand wholeheartedly if you wish to never speak to me again. But I hope with this letter, if you ever do decide to read this, which after all my other attempts seem unlikely, you at least know that there will not be a single day that I do not wish that I did not kill that woman when I killed all the other strongs. You are my life. My world. And I hope you know that.
From, Aemond Targaryen
You’ve never felt like you wanted to cry this much since you lost your sweet baby. You can feel the tears leaking down your face the entire time you read Aemonds words. Some of your tears drip onto the page, leaving some of the words to blur together into illegible blobs of black ink.
You feel the urge to destroy the letter. The same urge and desire you felt when you got into contact with all of Aemonds other gifts. Though you resist this time, and instead of destroying the letter, you smooth it out and place it delicately under the mass amounts of pillows that seem to always near take over your bed. That night, for the first night of the many you’d stayed in your room during your isolation period, you slept the whole night in your bed with no nightmares to wake you screaming.
———
When Aemond was standing in the corridor in the shadows and hadn’t picked up on any whispers from the maids passing him of any destruction or damage coming from your chambers, he assumed you must have kept the letter.
He does not hold though any hope that you read it. For all he knows you’ve simply just ignored it or ripped it and used it to keep your fire alight.
When he is waiting for the maid to come out of your room though, he could not help but feel hopeful when the maid takes longer than usual to come out of your room. “Well?” He asks as he steps from the shadows when the maid eventually comes out and nearly passes him. He does not dare to actually ask whether or not you took it. Even though he so selfishly wish to help hold her down and demand for
It surprises him and angers him when the maid looks at him and yet does not acknowledge him. What did you tell her? What does she know?
Aemond grabs the arm of the maid as she attempts to pass him without any real acknowledgment. “Your prince asked you a question.” He growls. He nearly felt sympathy for the woman when she looked at him with fear in her eyes. But he is not Aegon. He can control his desires towards the maids.
“The princess asked that I not speak to you. Please let go of my arm, my prince…” The maid half begs. Aemond lets go of her arm reluctantly after a moment of thinking. Why would you tell the maid to not talk to him? Maybe you really read the letter and do not wish to appear weak to him? Though only if you knew that you could never be weak in his eyes, his strong independent wife.
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tastesousweet · 8 days
Text
⭒ the girl with the tattoo (x) - pt 1 pt 2 p3 p4 p5 p6 p7 p8 p9
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matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader
summary : after three resentful weeks apart, only matt and y/n could find themselves more fond of each other.
warnings : angst, fluffy, mentions of alcohol and weed, sort of proofread
mickey speaks : THANK U FOR UR PATIENCE SWEET ANGELS HERE’S THE 10TH PART FOR YOU!!! tgwtt is already in double digits 🥹 only like 8 more parts to go
THIS IS PART TEN GO READ THE OTHERS FIRST PLEASE!!!
"COME on y/n we'll have so much fun!"
you haven't had a night out in weeks.
following matt's party, you swore off alcohol until your own birthday in mid-september, afraid of the amount you'd allow yourself to consume now that you're feelings are supremely hurt and bitterness coated your tongue.
it was difficult to turn down the first week, despite the smell and taste of any drink making your stomach turn you craved the drunken effect and secretly wanted to run into matt- just to see what he'd have the nerve to say to you. but the mature, wiser part of your brain knows there is nothing good to come from spiteful drinking. so you've declined every weekend.
you know in your heart that your friends only want you to feel good and have fun with them. it's the only reason you've tolerated this current conversation for so long.
"i believe you! but i'm just saying i'll have just as much fun with this bowl of strawberries and my bed," you reach into a cabinet for one of the many off-white glass bowls.
"baby you haven't been out with us in so long, we miss you!" remi beams kicking her legs as she sits atop your counter, fully dressed and decorated for her night out (contrasting the bare face, oversized tee, and panties you wear).
you sigh and look over to the three girls huddled in your kitchen, "no, you guys know 'm not drinking right now," you shake your head and push off of the counter heading towards the fridge in search of your berries.
"i'm just confused on why you're suddenly so strict on drinking? and regardless of the drinking you could have fun without it if you loosen up a bit..." erin replies while resting her body against the wall next to remi's spot.
you roll your eyes while your face is still in your fridge before shutting it back, "i don't understand what's not clicking erin, i don't want to go out at all! i want to stay at home and be away from drunk people and watch something brainless and then i wanna go take a fucking bath. i'm so tired of having to explain and repeat myself. please go, please have a good time, and please- respectfully, mind your business."
you run water over your strawberries and andrea's eyes widen as she turns back towards the counter to pour herself another shot.
"alright, whatever.” erin shakes her head, “dre, remi, i'm gonna go wait outside this is annoying. she can stay bitter," she walks out and whispers, "bitch," under her breath before shutting the door.
it's silent for a second as you begin to harshly cut the stems off of the fruit, remi comes behind you and wraps a caring arm over your shoulder for a hug, "are you okay?"
"yes, i'm fine, you can go have fun..." you turn to face her and offer a strawberry.
"i really do miss you,” you kisses your shoulder and bites into the strawberry, “love you," she reminds you as she grabs her bag and dismisses herself to check with erin. you nod your head and continue to stare blankly as you repeatedly cut.
andrea speaks up after hearing the door fully shut. she breathes heavily as she stares down at her hands on the counter, "cariña ("honey"), you’re not a bitch.”
“i know…” your voice is small.
“i know you do. i also know something’s hurting you badly right now and i selfishly wish you’d fucking tell me so i could help.” she licks her glossed lips, “but as long as you’re being kind to yourself, i can deal with you keeping this to yourself.”
your eyes brim with salty tears and when you let out a broken sniffle she's immediately by your side. "nooo don’t cry, i’m already pre-drunk! you know i will too!" you try to continue preparing your fruit but andrea turns your body to make room for a warm hug. you're quick to tuck your face into her perfumed neck and let out your feelings through cry's.
you had always thought that what andrea (or anyone) didn't know about your sex life with matt wouldn't kill her, but quite frankly it's killing you. you want to tell her everything he’s ever made you feel- for all andrea knows matt was once a silly crush and currently a little less than a friend to you.
but at the same time you just know she would tell you to stop seeing him if she knew everything. she would remind you that at your core you are far too caring and attached to handle recurring casual sex with him in the first place.
"i'm so sorry, drea. i really wanna tell you but i’m not ready." you croak pitifully.
not ready to accept the embarrassment of wanting him to like you this bad.
and for someone as willingly vulnerable as you, you’re especially not ready to hear her scold you a little for somehow hurting your own feelings and putting your friendship with erin on a thin line over some guy.
your words only confuse her brain more, but she can only continue to rub circles into your back and silently pray you didn’t do something illegal or, like, morally cruel.
౨ৎ
matt would love to say he hasn’t thought about you since you bitched out on him the night of his birthday, but he could never just blatantly lie.
he can say he has gone the past few weeks without reaching out to you- which mostly speaks to both of your stubbornness and pride.
in fact, you’re part of his reason for having his own night in tonight- though it’s far less sadistic of a reason than yours. he’s simply grown bored of the repetitive night life he and his friends have.
you were always there for him to tease and secretly fuck around with whenever your friend groups would combine for the night. but as of late he’s left sitting at the bar swigging down beers and scrolling on his phone (sometimes he’d get irrationally irritated at you for not posting on your instagram or snapchat stories, feeling a as if it was a direct punishment to remove him from knowing any details about your life) or until the rest of the group throw the towel in.
on the worst and most irritating of nights he’ll take an uber home by himself. and those were the nights he would get so close to being irrational- showing up to your house and confronting you was oh so enticing. but he’d talk himself out of it and go home to fuck his fist like you’d probably tell him to do.
and on the most horny and pathetic of nights he'd end up in the backseat of his car finger-fucking erin with her tongue in his mouth. it ended at that though, matt's skin started to crawl thinking of when you rode him in the front seat not too long ago. he had pinched his eyes shut and pulled erin's hands away from his zipper, swaying her with some sweet "i just wanted to make you feel good s’all" and a kiss before she left and he awkwardly drove himself home- pondering how little self control he had to be desperate enough to do even get that far.
so, he didn’t even bother to go out tonight. when chris and nick asked him through his closed door, he told them he’ll stay in for some “peace and quiet.” really, he just couldn’t stand to be disappointed by the guaranteed lack of you being there.
he sits in his desk chair, legs spread casually, and sketchbook held against his thigh as he scribbles around to formulate a few rough outlines for upcoming clients. somewhere in the mix he begins to sketch out a familiar cartoon cat, which only irritates him and makes him close the book abruptly, shoving it into his desk’s drawer.
matt rubs his hands over his face a few times and lifts himself from the chair, heading straight for his bedside table. he bites at his lips while digging through the drawer, eventually finding the pretty red hot blunt you rolled and gifted him.
he makes his way out to the patio, not bothering to turn the outdoor lights on; blunt, lighter, and phone in tow. he slouches into one of the many chairs near the glass door and places the blunt between his lips, shuffling as he digs in his back pocket for his lighter.
the spark of the bright flame highlights his focused face for only a few seconds while he pricks the end of the misshapen yet smoothly rolled blunt. he breathes in the smoke immediately, throwing the lighter onto a table nearby. he tilts his backwards to blow out swirls of smoke above him.
matt initially wants to wait to call you until he feels high enough, mostly to give him an excuse for calling in the first place because he knows you’ll be expecting one. but he can't fucking wait, he wants to know what you're doing right now.
matt continues to effortlessly inhale and exhale several hits as he searches his phone for your contact.
his thumb hovers over the dull button that would change a lot for him. calling you means looking like a dumbass, as if he can't handle not knowing you (apparently he can’t but he wouldn’t admit to it). calling you means he’s breaking this implied break up- for complete lack of better terms.
but who’s to say you’ll even answer and give him a chance to do any of that? and suddenly his phone is vibrating in his hand as he raises it to his ear.
it takes four rings for you to answer, though you're completely silent on the other end. he waits and you wait. he truly didn’t think this far ahead. you only give him a few extra seconds to be silent before you hang up all together.
matt kisses his teeth and redials. when you eventually answer again he speaks through the smoke in his lungs, "hi. why'd you hang up?"
"matt, don't call my phone and expect me to speak to you first." your voice has a bite to it that still surprises matt a little. it's so infrequent for you to be harsh or upset (as long as matt has known you, you've been nothing but cheerful and well… sunny) that it's oddly pleasant to see how you handle negative emotions- it reminds him that you’re not always good, something he’d always weirdly envied about you.
he releases more smoke in the air around him, "my bad, sweetheart."
"just tell me why you’re calling. are you drunk or ...?"
"no. i just wanted to know what you're doing."
you sigh heavily, "why does that concern you...?"
his eyes pinch as he stares out into the dark backyard, "why're you bein' so difficult? 'm just trying t-"
"matt. get there, please." you rush, though you secretly are enjoying hearing his voice and the romanticized idea that he must care a little if he’s reaching out again.
“yeah.” he takes a breath, “i don’t know. i’m just, like, here…by myself, and i wanted to remember what you sounded like.”
you smirk to yourself but drop it immediately, “okay…well, this is what i sound like.”
“yes, so soothing, i could fall asleep right here,” you can hear him audibly stretch.
“oh, i’m putting you to sleep?” you tease.
“yeah, i need you to come over and wake me up,” he inhales once more.
you’re silent and he breathes out again, “fuck was that too much- i’m sorry.”
“definitely. i need you to calm down, sir.”
“oh i’m so calm, baby,” he moans out playfully.
“matt, i’ll hang up-”
“woah! let’s not make such rash decisions?!”
“okay then.”
“thank you for answering,” his voice is muffled, “you could’ve blocked me- i talked to you so crazy that night and i do feel bad about, i want you to know.” he pauses and you silently process as he continues to compliment you, “you’re the only woman besides, like, my mother, who is just classy as fuck and way too kind to everyone whether they deserve it or not.”
you could never have expected to hear any words of admiration from matt in regards to you. “oh my god, are you near a couple of trees right now? how’d you get so sappy all of a sudden?”
matt takes a second to register your joke before his entire face crinkles and he shakes his head, giggling, “bad joke. such a bad joke.”
you let yourself laugh a little as well before pulling together, “thank you for apologizing, i honestly didn’t expect that from you.”
“well i don’t hand them out like that so i guess you’re lucky or something.”
“i guess i am…” you smile into your words a little.
“what have you been doing?”
“like the past few weeks or right now?”
“i was talking about right now but you can say both.”
“just was checking! i don’t want to talk to much, i know you’d hate to listen to it.”
“heyyy! really? throwin’ some shit i just told you i didn’t mean right in my face like that?”
“i’m sorry i had to!”
“you were holding on to that one, huh?”
“just a little.”
“okay, tell me everything and i’ll listen.”
“i know i made it seem like i’ve been doing a lot but i’ve honestly just been working a bunch. it’s not as much of a nightmare as it sounds though- working long shifts has helped me fall asleep quicker. i’ve also started cooking a lot more whenever im bored which andrea looooves. and… um, right now i’m taking a bath.”
matt’s eyes widen and he chuckles, “dammit! i knew i should’ve facetimed instead!”
you bite your lip to hold back a laugh yourself, “what are you doing, matt?”
“guess.”
“i mean, i know you’re smoking but you could be in a random bedroom at a party or like, at some other bitch’s house…i don’t know, i’m just guessing!”
“never that,” he laughs- which you can’t decipher as a sarcastic or genuine one -and explains further, “‘m at home, outside with that perfect little blunt you made.”
“oh, for real?”
“uh huh, she’s treating me real good.”
“i’m glad. can you finish telling me how you’ve been?”
“yeah, um-”
“mattttt!” a very drunk nick suddenly yells while sliding open the glass door.
matt literally jumps and is immediately annoyed, you can hear it in his voice despite it being muffled now, “dude, you scared the shit out of me! what do you need?”
“hello to you too, ugh, i forgot you’re all moody right now. what are you even doing it’s all dark and shit?” nick hangs on the door has he peeks outside.
matt gets up to close the door again, “mind your business, nick. move, you’re in the way.”
“hmm, you are so weird.” nick squints his eyes and turns away yelling chris’ name in a blood curdling scream (for absolutely no reason besides the fact that he thought it’d be funny to see chris drunkenly run into the living room).
“hey, you still there?”
“mhm, yes”
“nick and chris just got back from the bar so i’ll have to help them chill out, um, yeah. i wanna hang out again. not even just to fuck if you aren’t cool with that yet, if we can be friends around our friends we can be friends by ourselves.”
friends? you and matt? hm. “that’d be nice, do you wanna just come over like usual?”
“i mean i could but we can do whatever you want, seems like you’ve been home a lot so, you know.” his voice gets more distracted as he speaks
“okay, i’ll let you know. good night.”
“sounds good, sweetheart.”
౨ৎ
MATT - 6:30 PM
Are you done yet?
Y/N - 6:52 PM
yes i’m coming now
-
“i’m sorry again for keeping you so late y/n, you really didn’t have to stay and help me close!” your coworker, angela, beams as she follows you out of the back door with a trash bag.
“don’t worry about it,” you smile to her as you walk with her to the large dumpster on the side of the building.
she throws a bag the size of her torso into the bin with a mumble of ‘ew’ before turning to you, “don’t say that! i know you have that date thing tonight, i don’t want you to be late.”
“i told you it’s not a date! we’re hanging out as friends.”
she rolls her eyes while putting her travel sized hand sanitizer back into her purse, “y/n don’t start with that…it’s totally a date from what you’ve told me.”
you both continue to walk towards the back parking lot,“trust me, he’s made it clear he’s not that kind of guy.”
“then why waste your time?”
right when you go to defend yourself you hear a car door shut, drawing your attention to the man of the hour, who’s locking the doors of his sleek black suv as his jaw works a minty piece of gum.
his black tee exposes his tattoos and his jean shorts are held up with his favorite black belt. you can see his light eyes are squinted due to the sun’s undying brightness from where you stand.
angela turns to you with a full smirk and softly slaps your arm, whispering and giggling, “girl, he’s hot!”
“oh my god!” you have an uncontrollable smile as you look at her, “stop it!” you look over again and this time matt is leaning against his car, ready to catch your eye and send you a wave of his fingers with his eyebrows raised.
you wave back then turn away once more, “‘kay i should probably go but i’ll see you wednesday, right?” you lean in for a hug.
“yes i’ll be here,” she smiles into the embrace as you kiss into the air to the side of her head, “you’ll have to give me all the deets!”
“mhm,” you hum as you both part ways, “bye ang!”
you approach matt without any rush and he takes the time to gaze over your complexion (far more radiant than the last time he’d seen you) and the way your mini jean skirt compliments the blushed red top you’re wearing. “hi sunny,” he grins and reaches a hand out to bring you into a hug, only for you to set the handle of your small purse in it. he kisses his teeth playfully, “it’s still like that, huh?”
“like what?” you condescendingly look up at him.
“alright, girl,” he dismisses, “where are we goin?“
“it’s a surprise for a reason matt!”
“okay… then i’m assuming you’ll drive?”
“not exactly..” you spin on your heel and walk away from him as a hint to follow you.
he wraps an arm around your shoulder as the two of you walk down the busy sidewalk, he gives a couple of glances down at your phone while also navigating the two of you. “metro?” he reads aloud.
“mhm,” you reply and smile to yourself while adding the tickets to your apple wallet.
“wow, you really planned this shit out.”
“i’ve never half-assed something in my life,” you say as you both stop at a cross walk.
“never? you have a brother, right?” he asks and you nod, “i’m sure he’d be able to come up with something.”
“probably,” you shrug and grab his wrist when the walking sign lights. “we’re gonna make it just in time, the bus comes at 7:10.”
౨ৎ
the seating on the bus is comfortably squished; you sit in the window seat and matt next to you, moving his limbs inward to give room to those walking in the isle.
you reapply a faded shade of red, black cherry to your lips while using your phone camera. matt watches with his lips pursed in awe. “that shade looks nice on you,” he says softly.
you’re already feeling giddy internally and he’s forcing you to blow your unbothered cover at this point, “thank you,” you smile and turn to see him already close to your face, looking at your eyes then lips. you just have to close the space by giving him a small kiss, mumbling, “it looks good on you too, see,” you move your phone so that he can see his lips outlined with the stain of you.
he laughs and pouts his lips while checking himself out in your camera, making the risky move to take a photo of himself, before giving your cheek a kiss.
౨ৎ
“jesus, for forty fucking minutes you better have brought me to an all inclusive resort!” matt complains while dramatically stretching his back.
the sun was now peeking down and the flashing lights of santa monica pier were extra enticing. “stop, we’re gonna have so much fun! look!” you point at the energetic strip with a childish grin.
“alright, let’s go then,” he tilts his head towards the fair.
౨ৎ
“definitely could have gone without that last ride- wayyy too many dips,” matt holds his stomach dramatically.
“i could tell, you were screamin’ like crazy,” you smirk as the two of you stand in the line at one of the many food trucks. two hours into being there and you’ve rode almost all of the rides, it was expected for matt to ask to stop for some sort of food eventually.
“barely.” he rolls his eyes, “what do you want?”
“i’ll have a water and one of those bomb pops,” you tell him.
“that’s not really food, are you gonna be good with that for right now?” he clarifies.
“yes, matt. thank you,” you smile and matt waves you off as he approaches the tall window to order.
“hey, what’s up man? i’ll just have a water, one of those fourth of july a bomb pops, medium fry and a modelo in a can please,” he flashes a smile and pays quickly.
you thank him and the cashier as you take hold of the items you asked for. “can we go walk on the beach?” you ask him.
“yeah, it’ll be dark as shit, but yeah,” he responds lightly and shoves a few fries into his mouth.
౨ৎ
“when i was younger my mom would bring me and my brother to the pier every summer since i was seven maybe?” the waves crash softly in the background as matt lays between your legs, despite the scratchy denim of your skirt. “when i was eleven my brother would want to go off with his friends in high school and my mom wasn’t a fan of the rides, so she would bring me to walk on the beach with her instead.” you recall out loud after matt had asked what made you want to come here today.
“mmm, reminds me of east coast beaches when i was a kid. we’d make a whole day out of it and pack up my mom’s minivan.” you stretch his scalp hypnotically, “just being rowdy and annoying as hell on the ride there and sleeping on the way back. being a kid is, like, the best and we never realize it when we’re there.”
“isn’t it kind of sweet that we don’t? kids don’t even understand the concept of missing childhood or being nostalgic until they’re older. if eight year old me were constantly dwelling on what’s passed i know she’d go insane. i mean, even now, everyone is always chasing previous feelings and never fully in tune with the one present.” you look out at the waves that softly build up and crash repeatedly.
matt licks his lips and opens his eyes, sitting up from your lap, “holy shit, sunny,” he kisses you and pulls away to laugh, “you just made me sound like a dumbass.”
he keeps a hold of your face, “matt you’re not dumb, everyone is nostalgic for something,” you kiss him again to seal your words.
matt pulls away and you stands up and begin to remove your shirt leaving you in a lacy bra, “come on,” you tilt your head and matt immediately stands up to cover you.
“the fuck do you mean, ‘come on’?” he starts to laugh while looking around for anyone around.
you roll your eyes at his protection and unbutton your skirt, “take a dip with me.”
“no?! y/n, that water is freezing...”
you pull down your pants to reveal a small pair of matching lacy panties that matt can barely see in the dark but he just knows would send him over the edge.
“matttt,” you pout and bring his hands to your exposed ass, lifting his chin to capture his lips in your own, “please?” you look up at him.
he pinched his eyes shut, “baby, put your clothes back on…”
“alright be lame,” you take his hands off of you and run into the empty beach with a freeing laugh.
matt stands there, not wanting to yell and draw attention to you both, but also not wanting to freeze to death.
“matt! the water’s not even that cold, come here!” you exclaim, wading in the shallow water.
“no, i’ll just wait here until you’re done cooling off…”
“matt, please! what if i-” you pretend to fall backwards and start to fake a drowning scene that has him undressing to his boxers quickly.
he ignores the rush in his blood from the surprise of the water’s temperature in favor of getting you out of there. he calls your name over and over, the pitch black look of the ocean doing absolutely nothing to help.
he’s pretty freaked out when you come back up and jump on his back yelling, “you saved me! you saved me!” with a cackle.
matt immediately groans and slaps the water, “fuck you, why would you ever do some shit like that?!”
you giggle and he throws you off his back easily, turning around to be face to face with you as you wipe your eyes, “oh my god matt, my mascara’s gonna run!”
“maybe we should think of these things before running into the ocean?”
you stop wiping underneath your eyes to forcefully push him under the water, giggling at the sound of the crash and his “don’t-!” right before.
“no more,” he spits out water and scolds you when he comes back up, inching closer to you and holding you by your hips as you wrap your legs around his waist.
“okay,” you agree and go to kiss his wet face just as he quickly unhooks you and throws you back under.
“matt!” you squeal as you resurface to hear him laughing, “dude, i’m gonna kill you.”
“truce, truce, truce!” he repeats and backs away from you.
“yeah, you better run,” you threaten.
౨ৎ
“your eyelashes are like sooo long when they’re wet,” you compliment as you stare at matt under the moon’s light.
he pulls you closer him to stop his mouth from chattering due to the cold, “i’ll give you my lash routine,” he jokes.
“i realized something when we got off the phone the other day,” you bring up, as your eyes run over each of his facial features.
“tell me,” he rolls his icy lips into his mouth.
“i never said sorry for being nasty to you on your birthday.”
matt’s eyes squint, “it’s fine, i’m not hung up on that shit. we said we’re good, right?”
“yes, but-”
“alright then,” he shrugs and squeezes your ass in reassurance.
a smile graces your face and and you let your head fall to his shoulder, whispering, “matt…i’m cold now.”
“i’ve been waiting for you to say that, oh my god!”
౨ৎ
you both suffer as you put your clothes back on over your wet skin. you’re both chattering messes and simply cannot stop laughing about it as you make your way back to the boardwalk’s strip of raging bright lights.
you don’t get far before you’re begging matt to win you an oversized faux fur leopard print coat, “it’s just what i need, please!”
and he’s spent almost two twenties replaying this stupid game over and over again. you’re a pretty good cheerleader though.
“come on matt, you got it this time! no pressure! it’s only like i’m dying of hypothermia!” he deadpans as he looks over to you, “what?”
it was a simple game of ring toss- that was most definitely rigged, but besides you reminding him this and saying you didn’t need the coat that much, the stand runner’s comments doubting matt was enough to fuel him to continue playing until he wins.
and somehow he tosses the perfect ring, watching it land and swivel around the bottle in victory. you both outwardly celebrate with screams and a very public kiss, that the two of you just can’t stop sharing today.
“congratulations,” the employee boredly says.
“thank you sir, thank you.” matt then obnoxiously turns around and yells out a speech to the random passersby “i wanna thank my mother, my grandmother, brothers, dog, and you people for giving me this opportunity to win something so grand for my sweet sunshine!” you stop giggling to give a royal wave to the many people judging the two of you, “thank you santa monica!” he blows a kiss and you both spin around to claim your prize.
“you two are like cartoon characters,” the stand runner says. and as soon as you start to grin at him he corrects, “that wasn’t a compliment.”
“whatever man, just give the pretty girl the fucking coat,” matt blinks at him. as the man walks away to grab the fluff off of the rack a few people stop by the table and matt warns them, “if i were you i’d keep walkin’, this guy’s a first-class hater.”
you drag matt by his arm back over to you, “did you take your socially-overbearing pills today?!”
“i have no clue, i think im too cold for my brain to process embarrassment anymore.”
“here’s that coat,” the man hands you it with a shake of his head.
“thank you, sir!” you exclaim and immediately fit your arms from the sleeves, “this is everything i’ve ever wanted!” you say as your jaw goes slack.
“you look good,” matt agrees, “you also look warm, so now i’m jealous.”
“let’s go get you something warm, baby.”
౨ৎ
after a trip to a random gift shop for a hoodie, matt whined about needing real food so bad.
so the two of you stand at the hostess stand in a small mexican restaurant on the strip.
“for two?”
“yes, thank you.”
“i’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay?” matt speaks close to your ear and you simply nod and watch him walk off.
you wait a few moments before the hostess offers to take you to your table, “did you want to go sit now or wait for your boyfriend?” she asks kindly.
you try not to make it so apparent that you enjoy the idea of you being matt’s girlfriend, “yeah, i can sit now, he’ll find me.”
౨ৎ
“i’ll have the chicken burrito please with extra rice,” matt orders as he sits across from you.
“and i’ll have the four birria tacos please,” you hand her the menu kindly.
you both are bundled up ridiculously with frizzy hair and barely-dry clothes, you’re surprised anyone agreed to serve you.
“alright, that should be out shortly!”
when she walks away matt asks, “why didn’t you get a drink? i’m just curious.”
“i swore off drinking until my birthday,” you shrug and fall back into the plush of the booth.
“mm, not smoking either?” he sips his water.
“i mean i haven’t smoked since early august but no i didn’t purposely stop.”
matt nods, “well if you were to drink, what are you ordering? i usually go for a corona but i wanna try something different.”
“oh strawberry margarita, a hundred percent. hits everytime.”
“i’ve never had a margarita so i’ll try it.”
your jaw drops, “hell yeah you’re gonna try it, i can’t believe you!”
“what can i say?” matt shrugs.
౨ৎ
matt plays with the toothpick in his mouth as you both sit in your spots for the bus ride home. he got to enjoy his first margarita and you took multiple pictures to document it, he bought you churros to go, and now you both are the most tired you’ve been in a while.
you quietly respond to texts that andrea sent you hours ago, asking what you’re doing and if you’ll be home soon, while matt lays his head on your shoulder sleepily.
eventually you shut your phone off and calmly rest your head against the chilled window for the rest of the ride.
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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.
half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.
so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff
SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-
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but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.
and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.
theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.
elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling
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like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be
and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.
and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.
“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”
and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me
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and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave
because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.
and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.
and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.
and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO
elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.
and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.
and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.
but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.
so now comes this.
because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.
and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.
anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman
sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !
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