(x)
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we would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright
(-E Hemingway)
(full uncensored on patreon!)
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The Batkids: *all sitting on the floor huddled around a phone*
Bruce, walking up: What are you guys doing?
Tim: We're playing a new game. Its like truth or dare, except it is only dare, and all the dares are decided by a random word generator set for verbs, if we need more context we can randomly generate a noun too. Here, Steph is next, watch.
Steph: *clicks the generate a word button* 'appreciate'? *Clicks for a noun* 'Scene'? Am I supposed to go to a play? Look at the top of a mountain?
Damian: you have to get to the top of the hill, adequately appreciate the scene, and get back before your next turn, otherwise you are out
Steph: *gets up and runs out of the house*
Jason: My turn *presses the randomly generate a word button* Request *presses to randomly select a noun* cookies. Fuck yes! Alfred!
Cass, soaking wet, signing: not fair
Bruce: hey, I saw Dick's car out front, where is he?
Duke: he got 'vanish'
Tim: Still better than that time Jason got 'die'
Damian: me next, 'read'
Jason, walking in with a plate full of cookies: you gotta read and finish Pride and Prejudice before your next turn.
Damian: That's impossible! Without Dick that is only 5 people before me.
Tim: Impossible if you sit here complaining. Better hop to it.
Damian: *running to the library*
Duke, stealing a cookie: you wanna try, Bruce?
Bruce: maybe just once *clicks the button* 'grin'
Tim: Batman has to smile for an entire day fighting bad guys and dealing with the Justice League
Bruce: I don't like this game
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Red Hood and Red Robin greeting each other seriously during patrol so that RR can give the coordinates of a homeless child somewhere in Crime Alley. as if they weren't talking about explosives the other night and Jason didn't teach Tim to bake the coffee cupcakes he loves so much.
Later in a few
Red Hood, crushes the bags of stimulants on his hand and throws them on the sewers: Get a fucking new hobby. These things are disgusting.
Goon, runs: Fuck you, Hood!
Red Hood, sighs: What an idiot- The fuck. Where's my other gu-
Red Hood sighs again.
Red Hood, speaks to the rest of the family through the comms before chasing the goon: The kid's got my weapon again.
Nightwing: Robin, what -
Robin: Negative. It's not me.
Batman, pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits on a gargoyle somewhere in Gotham and thinks, "Here we go again."
Somewhere at a rooftop in Metropolis
Kon: Um Tim, I know you have plans of destruction, but-
Tim puts the weapon at the back of his suit. and Kon wonders how do the Bats even have places for weapons on their suits?
Tim: Nah, this is a comeback for him stealing one of the cupcakes you like at my apartment.
Kon: I already told you I'm over it!
Red Hood, hears the conversation through the comms and screams: Like the boy said, he's over it! Give that back to me!
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Steve: Hey, can someone give me a push? I can’t really reach the window.
Dustin: Ugh, fiiiiine! I can—
Eddie: *running past Dustin* I’LL DO IT!!
Steve:
Steve: When are you gonna push, man?
Eddie: *happily holding onto Steve’s ass*
Eddie: Shit, SORRY!
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idk if i’m stupid or what because HOW AM I JUST NOW FIGURING OUT THAT LUCY IS IN BETWEEN NATSU’S LEGS, NOT NEXT TO HIM 😭😭😭
mashima making nalu canon ❌
mashima making nalu art even tho they’re canonically not together (yet) and leading us on for the inevitable ✅
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Welcome to your obligated dose of incorrect quotes!
Aiden: oh complain, complain! You know, when life gives you lemons—
Tyler: I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LEMONS!
Ashlyn: can you suggest me a book that made you cry?
Ben, typing on his notes app: general mathematics 6th edition.
Taylor: how do you tell someone their mouth stinks without being rude?
Aiden: I’m bored, let’s drink mouthwash.
Tyler: what do you have planned for the future?
Ashlyn: lunch.
Tyler: I meant long term.
Ashlyn: dinner.
Aiden: which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Logan: neither, because it’s twelve.
Tyler: in your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Ashlyn, turning to Aiden: how tall are you?
Aiden: if Ben and I were drowning, who’d you save?
Ashlyn: you two can’t swim?
Aiden: it’s a hypothetical question, Ash! Who would you save?
Ashlyn: my time and effort.
Taylor: you have to apologise, Tyler!
Tyler: fine.
Tyler: ‘unfuck you’ or whatever.
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I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped in the flags! In every cloud, in every tree - filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day - I am surrounded with her image!
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holy shit I did NOT realize how popular my "I will remove my teeth, for I want to remain kind despite my anger" quote is. I just googled it for fun to see what would come up, a bunch of people are quoting it not knowing who its from, an artist called Kuma made an album titled that, so bizzare
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D'Arce S Ending: "As soon as I can revive him from the dead, the wedding is BACK ON!"
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Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it
Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?
Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this
Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting
Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it
Tim: *passes it to Damian*
Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross
Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass
Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?
Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good
Dick: Well now I feel left out
Duke: *hands it to Dick*
Dick: *takes a bite*
Dick:
Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this
Jason: You wanna try Bruce?
Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...
Dick: *hands it to Bruce*
Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful
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i was struck with a vision
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