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hp-hcs · 1 month

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• smut • literally everyone here is so problematic (but oh, so hot) [part 2 of drunk words, sober thoughts] — best friend! dom top! jealous! theodore nott x gn! bottom/receiving! dumbass! reader x best friend! switch! jealous! manwhore! mattheo riddle

tysm to the anon who gave me this idea ur a real one 🤲👑

okay so like, i never really state it in text but like, reader, theo, and mattheo have been like a best friend trio since first year alr?

working on a part three rn you silly lil horndogs

read the title man idk

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“We can’t keep doing this,” you mumbled, but your head still tilted to the side to grant him better access.

“Why not?” He asked, kissing along the newly-freed skin of your neck and lightly biting down on your collarbone.

You let out a breathy half-moan. “We can’t- this isn’t fair for either of us. I can’t give you a real relationship.”

“I don’t care about that,” he said dismissively, tilting his head up to suck on the sensitive flesh on the underside of your jaw. “As long as I can have you in my bed.”

“How romantic,” you deadpan.

He laughed, shutting you up with yet another sharp thrust of his hips. “Never said I was, darlin’.”

You gasped and moaned. “Fuck! Th-there!”

He followed your directions, gripping your hips tighter and driving into you with renewed vigor.

Your thighs trembled and your nails raked along his back as you came with a low moan of his name.

He followed right after you, moaning and burying his face into the side of your neck. His hair, damp with sweat, brushed against your jaw, making you smile as you felt him shake above you.

He caught his breath after a moment, pulling out and rolling off of you. “You know that you can’t just keep sleeping with me to forget about him, right?”

“Oh, c’mon. Like you’re gonna complain? Don’t you want a hot-albeit-emotional-disaster such as myself in your bed?”

“I mean, I’m not gonna say no to that,” he snickered, reaching over the side of his bed to retrieve his shirt from the pile of discarded clothes before tugging it over your head and helping you get your arms through the sleeves. He laid back down so you could curl into his side, wrapping an arm around your middle and mindlessly running his fingers up and down your side.

You both lay in a comfortable silence for a moment before you quietly murmured, “Thank you.”

“For the sex or the pep talk?” He teased, running a gentle hand through your hair.

“Both,” you give him a half smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “But really, I mean it. Thank you, Mattheo.”

~~~

“That’s it, shit- yeah, fuck,” Mattheo moaned, dropping his quill on his desk in favor of threading his fingers through your hair. “So good- so damn good at this.”

You’d really thought you’d be able to go to the library with Mattheo after school “to study”. And you were doing plenty of that, if studying what that fine Riddle dick looks like up close is going to be a question on your Charms exam. Which, y’know, it probably won’t.

You could feel your legs cramping up from being curled up in a kneeling position underneath the table for the past ten minutes, but that didn’t stop you from tightening your grip on his thighs and taking him down as far as you could go.

His grip on your hair tightened in warning. “Shit- someone’s coming,” he hissed.

You pulled off of him just to sassily respond with, “Yeah, you.”

With just a few pumps of your fist, wrapped tight around his dick, Mattheo fell apart in the middle of the library.

~~~

“Fuck! Yes- shit!” Mattheo groaned and cursed.

“Shut the fuck up,” you hissed. “Are you trying to get caught?”

“I won’t claim to not be an exhibitionist,” he said in a mock-serious tone. “Besides, tell me this isn’t a hot place to fuck.”

“This isn’t a hot place to fuck,” you scoffed as you tightened your legs around his waist. “If I drown in this damn lake ‘cause of you, I will haunt your bitchass.”

~~~

“You seem to be awfully…close with Matt right now,” Theo said in an odd, stilted tone.

“Yeah,” you said shortly. “We are.”

“That’s…nice, I guess.” Theodore cleared his throat. “Riddle’s cool.”

“Yup,” you said in a bored tone, not even sparing a glance in his direction.

Theo huffed out an annoyed sigh, abandoning his fruitless questioning. “Whatever. Can you pass the butter?”

~~~

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Yeah, kinda.” Mattheo drawled.

“Apologies, won’t happen again,” Theo sneered, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame as he surveyed the scene in front of him.

His longtime crush, sprawled out naked on his best friend’s bed. He kept his eyes trained pointedly at your faces, making no acknowledgment of the fact that Mattheo was three fingers deep inside you.

“So, like- this is real awkward,” Mattheo licked his lips and pursed them, unabashedly meeting Theo’s gaze and quirking an eyebrow. “You can either leave or come in, but either way, you gotta shut the door, man. That’s just common courtesy.”

Theo scoffed. “Are you seriously suggesting I stay?”

“I’m not not seriously suggesting you stay.”

“I’m not watching my best friends have sex, you fuckin’ freak.”

“Shit, what d’ya want me to say then, Mr. Prude?” Mattheo rolled his eyes. “You rather join in?”

“I’m not having a threesome with my best friends!”

“Coward.”

Theo spluttered out a protest that fell on deaf ears.

“Boys, boys, we get it. You’re both pretty,” you say dryly. “Either stay or don’t, Nott, but I’m getting fucked either way.”

Theo hesitated at the doorway before cursing under his breath and stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. “I hate you both.”

“We hate you too,” you and Mattheo replied dryly in unison.

Theo scoffed and took a hesitant step closer. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously and looked at you as he sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed. “What about the…y’know, disagreement?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, I’m still mad at you for that.”

“Yeah, and I’m mad at you too!” Mattheo interjected before leaning in to loudly whisper to you, “What exactly are we mad at him for?”

“Teddy’s only been my friend for the last six years because he thought he’d get lucky.” You said through a tight smile.

“That’s not- I- I mean, it kind of is, but- it’s-”

“That’s kind of a dick thing to do, Teddy,” Mattheo said in a mocking tone.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Riddle. Like you’re not doing the exact same thing!”

“Wait, what?” You interrupted at that, but the boys continued arguing.

“You don’t get to call dibs on a person, Nott!”

“You don’t get to hook up with your best friend's crush, Riddle!”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Mattheo seethed.

“Boys!” You snapped suddenly.

They both went dead silent, looking over at you with matching deer-in-headlights expressions like they’d forgotten you were there—despite the fact that you were the literal topic of their argument.

“Are you done with the damn fighting?” You prompted, your eyes narrowing.

“Yes, Y/n,” both boys chorused sheepishly, only to shoot each other glares when they thought you weren’t looking.

“Good boys,” you taunted. “Now, kiss and make up.”

“What? I’m not going to-” Theo spluttered.

“I wasn’t asking, Theodore.”

“Fine,” Theo seethed in annoyance, grabbing Mattheo by the back of his neck and yanking him into a harsh kiss. There was no romance there. No lust, no real passion. Just jealousy and anger.

Mattheo, ever the slut, still moaned and grabbed onto Theo’s hips to pull him closer, practically climbing into his lap.

Theo growled, biting down hard on his bottom lip. Mattheo whimpered and unabashedly started grinding against Theo’s thigh, moaning like a goddamn Muggle porn star.

“Fucking whore,” Theo hissed against his lips, shoving him back down onto his bed. “Thought I could trust you.”

“What, so it’s okay for you to incessantly chase Y/n, but when I do it, I’m a whore?”

“Yes!”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, Nott.”

You rolled your eyes at their pettiness. “For the love of Merlin- you’re both stupid, how about that?”

They pause their bickering to glance over at you.

“What did you just call us, darlin’?” Mattheo asked in a suspiciously calm voice, seemingly unbothered by the fact that his best-friend-slash-current-enemy-slash-crush-stealer was actively straddling him and busying himself by nibbling and sucking at Mattheo’s neck.

A sarcastic comment died in your throat as you watched them interact. Despite Theo being preoccupied, coaxing tiny sounds out of Mattheo’s mouth with every jealousy-fueled nip at his neck, his gaze remained locked on yours.

You gulped. You’d been so confident before, but now they were staring at you with matching expressions of jealousy, possessiveness, and lust.

Ah.

Whoops.

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starsinmylatte · 3 months

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How to (not) Study for an Anatomy Exam

Pairing: Nanami Kento x afab!reader

Rating: Explicit (18+) Minors DNI

Length: 2.1k

You're in medical school with Shoko, but she's bailed on your group study session. Good thing an old friend turns up to help... Wait, what was the next chapter on, again?

Tags: Oral (m receiving), the awakening of a dom/sub dynamic, hair pulling, praise

Join my taglist here!

You pushed the eraser end of the pencil further into your brow, groaning as you forced yourself to read just one more page….. But, then again, this was also your fifth “last page” in a row. Shoko had abandoned your group study session hours ago to go out drinking, and your fatigue had finally set in.

“Ugh, maybe if I force myself to read it out loud,” you muttered, shifting restlessly.

“The amygdala is an integral part of the lim-” The door opened with a firm click, and you trailed off in surprise, dropping your head back against the couch pillow with an exasperated sigh.

“Satoru, I swear to god, if you interrupt me again, I will personally shove-”

A low chuckle interrupted your threat, “It’s just me. Please finish your sentence, though. That threat against Gojo did sound promising.”

You groaned, draping the heavy medical textbook over your face to hide the way your cheeks flushed at the sound. “Nanami, I thought you were working tonight.”

“I was,” he acknowledged. You could hear him walk across the room, and the couch cushion suddenly dipped with his additional weight. Nanami sighed and sat something down on the coffee table with an audible clink. You could hear the sound of a canned drink being opened, and the delicious, blessed scent of coffee filled the air.

Overly eager for the sweet, sweet hit of caffeine, you bolted upright fast enough to launch the textbook off your face. It fell and hit your thigh, drawing a slight whine from your lips as you snatched the coffee from Nanami’s outstretched hand. You raised it to your lips greedily, instantly downing most of it.

“I was working tonight, but I clocked out two hours ago,” he continued smoothly, “Do you know what time it is?”

You pressed the lip of the can to your chin, your expression mildly guilty as you purposefully avoided looking at your long-time friend. “I was only going to review one more chapter.”

Nanami simply picked his own can off the table and opened it. Your excuse had apparently fallen on deaf ears; he took a slow drink as you pouted, chuckling at the expression on your face. “Shoko texted me and asked me to come check on you. She hadn’t heard from you since she left.”

“We have an exam next week. I don’t know how she can be so carefree when there’s so much to learn,” you muttered. “I don’t need a babysitter just because I chose to study instead of going drinking.”

Slowly, Nanami reached out and placed his hand under your chin, tipping your head towards him. His expression was slightly cross, but you were preoccupied with much more important things. The dark suit your “long-time friend” wore fit him unfairly well, and seeing him dressed up only worsened the way you actually felt about him. You’d nursed a crush on him for years, and at this point, you were determined to take that secret to your grave.

The other glaringly obvious thing slipped out of your mouth before you could formulate a more intelligent sentence. “I… I can see your forehead now,” you stammered.

Nanami arched a single, golden eyebrow in mild amusement. “I got a haircut yesterday.”

You stared at him. The way his golden hair was swept back tugged at your already suffering heart; it was so mature, so achingly fitting for Nanami. It felt like a small eternity passed as your tired mind unraveled.

Were his shoulders always this broad? His eyes are such a beautiful color. Oh shit, his hand is under my chin still…. W-were they always this big? I wonder what they would feel like-

“One more chapter!” You squealed loudly, wishing you could trade your reverse curse technique in for the ability to phase through the floor. “One more chapter, and then I’ll take a break.”

“One more chapter, and then you’ll get some sleep,” Nanami corrected, removing his hand from your chin. You felt a small pang of disappointment at the loss of his touch, but you shrugged it off.

“Fine,” you conceded, mentally shoving the respectable, hard-working part of your brain back in charge.

Nanami settled back into his corner of the couch, taking another sip of his coffee. “Can I help you somehow? I have no idea how this type of studying works.”

He gestured vaguely at the stack of medical books, and you tried to stifle a giggle. “Here, you can quiz me using the pre-chapter questions.”

Nanami nodded, turning his focus to the textbook, and you flipped it open, happy to have him there to help you finish strong… until you were brutally reminded what the next chapter was. You blankly stared at the page titled “Male Reproductive Anatomy” until you closed the cover and stood without another word. Forget phasing through the floor; you wanted to teleport directly to the North Pole and never return.

“On second thought, I think I’ll just go to bed now,” You looked at the blank wall for moral support, face crimson red.

“I mean, I could still help you study… If you wanted..” He offered nonchalantly.

You whipped your head back around to look at Nanami, whose cheeks were dusted with pink. For a brief moment, he was blushing like the teenage boy you had once offered to share headphones with, but as he stood, his deep brown gaze locked into yours, and you could only see the calm, capable man he had grown into. “But I don’t think we will need the textbook.”

You nodded slowly, and Nanami wordlessly scooped all of your textbooks and study materials into his arms. The two of you made the trip up the stairs to your room in record time. He shoved everything onto your desk haphazardly, opting to take you into his arms instead.

“How long?” He murmured, his deep coffee-colored gaze full of warmth, a warmth you suddenly realized that Nanami had always reserved for you. “How long have we tip-toed around this?”

You shivered despite the heat of his body as the man you’d loved for years cradled you like a precious flower. His large hands gently rubbed your back, coaxing a sigh from your lips.

“Too long,” you whispered as you pressed your lips to his. It was gentle, almost reverent at first, and Nanami sighed, deep and rumbling, as he pulled you even closer. Your lips parted briefly before meeting again, the embrace growing more passionate by the second.

Nanami kissed you like he was trying to commit your taste to his memory like he’d simply die without your lips against his. You were no less eager, reaching up to cup his jaw and pressing your other hand against the swell of his bicep.

Growing bolder, you maneuvered him back until the back of his knees hit your desk chair. Nanami took the hint, parting from the embrace to undo his suit jacket and sit. He gazed up at you, eyes half-lidded and hazy with lust, and grinned lazily. “C’mere then.”

He reached out to pull you onto his lap, but you sidestepped with a wink. Instead, you opted to sink onto your knees, silently delighted by the way his eyes widened in surprise. Ever so slowly, you nudged his legs apart and crawled between them to rest your cheek against his knee. You hummed playfully, tilting your head up to smile at him innocently, “I thought you wanted to help me study… I think I can do that better from here.”

Nanami dropped his head back against the chair, swearing under his breath. He looped a finger into his tie and quickly ripped it off. It fell to the side unceremoniously, and your grin grew at his usual composure beginning to crack.

You stroked the inside of his leg with your nails, using just enough pressure for Nanami to feel the touch through his suit pants. He shuddered, and a wicked thought popped into your mind. You grinned again, “Or, if you’ve changed your mind, I could always ask Gojo. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

It was an incredibly empty threat; you both knew that, but it still served its intended purpose. The atmosphere in the room changed instantly. Nanami sat up, his gaze dark and intense as he leaned down to caress your jaw. The touch would’ve been warm and affectionate at any other time, but this one was slow, controlled, and achingly possessive.

“Should’ve known you’d be a fucking tease.” He growled, and the words shot straight to your core. Nanami slowly hooked his thumb over your kiss-swollen bottom lip, forcing them to part. You drew in a shaky breath, and it was his turn to smile.

“Is this what you wanted?” His voice was silken, dangerously quiet. Sparks of molten pleasure flooded your body, and your brain went fuzzy as you nodded. Nanami slipped the rough pad of his thumb over your tongue, slowly stroking it, toying with you as he thought for a moment. You whimpered involuntarily at the initial press of his thick finger, fighting off the urge to lave your tongue over it. He'd almost seem disinterested if you didn’t know him so well, but you could see his eyes glitter with a potent mix of approval and lust.

Nanami paused the movement of his thumb but left it in place to weigh down your tongue. He tenderly shushed your whine of protest and continued to speak, “If you’re good and finish your studying tonight, I’ll reward you….”

More white-hot pleasure coiled in your stomach, and your pussy throbbed in response. “Mmmmmhmmm,” you managed around his thumb, looking up at him with your best doe eyes.

He chuckled again, pulling his thumb out and smearing the leftover wetness across your lips. You eyed the obvious strain of his erection greedily, reaching forward to trace its outline. Nanami groaned, his cock twitching even with the slight pressure. “Eager for this, pretty girl?”

“You have no idea,” you murmured, quickly undoing his belt and pulling his clothing aside just enough to free his thick cock. You bit your lip as you watched the swollen, leaking tip brush against the material of his dress shirt, leaving a tiny smear of precum on the fabric. Nanami hissed at the sensation, tangling one of his large hands in your hair, partially to hold your hair back and partially desperate for something to ground him. You moved even closer to his lap, leaning down to lap at his cockhead.

He moaned outright at the first touch of your tongue; you began to explore every agonizingly beautiful inch of him, teasing his shaft with your fingers and plush lips. Nanami’s hand dug into your hair as you swirled your tongue around his tip and swiped it over the top to lap up his pre-cum. His hand clenched reflexively at the blinding pleasure, pulling your hair harshly without even meaning to.

Nanami froze, about to apologize profusely, but you moaned wantonly, plush lips still wrapped around the tip of his cock. He cursed and barked out a low laugh as the vibrations shot straight through him, “Fuck, I didn’t mean to…. Did you like that?”

You nodded as vigorously as you could manage, taking his cock even further into your mouth and nestling his swollen tip snugly into the pouch of your cheek. Drool fell from your lips, trailing down your chin as your tongue laved over his shaft, but you were far too gone to care. You cupped his heavy balls through the fabric of his expensive underwear, massaging them, and Nanami almost came on the spot.

He twitched and groaned, breath heavy and uneven as you utterly destroyed the normally stoic man. Nanami ran his other hand back through his hair, his breathing heavy as he took a minute to appreciate the sight of you drunk on his cock.

His balls tightened almost painfully, and Nanami moaned again, low and needy. “Need to stop…. Gonna cu-”

You shot him an incredibly devious, lust-filled look before pulling away and opening your mouth, sticking out your tongue to catch every drop. Nanami hissed at the sight, stroking his shaft furiously. It only took a few more seconds for him to fall apart with a strangled cry, his cum painting your mouth pearly white. His hands slowly pumped up and down, milking the remnants of his orgasm onto your pretty, pink tongue.

“You’re perfect…. gorgeous…. a goddess… mine now.” Nanami panted.

Your pussy fluttered as you watched him fall apart, and you ground your thighs together, desperate to find some relief from the ache in your core as you made a small show of swallowing. Nanami only took a few seconds to scoop you up from the floor and deposit you on the bed.

“Do I get my reward now?” You teased, voice slightly hoarse.

Nanami looked at you, his brown eyes filled with such sincerity that your heart fluttered. “I’m going to spoil you until you’re sick of me.”

Tagging some friends: @saradika @thefact0rygirl @babygirl-leon-kennedy @hereforthesunrise @ashotofspotchka @ironandglass @amyroswell @cassandrablacker @lady-valtieri @justanothersadperson93 @belle-smith07 @orangecremepuff @outspokenbrat @enchantedsylveon @khaleesihavilliard @spam-love @silverliningsandstorms @Msniks @panteramarron @eldritchbeauty

#nanami kento #kento nanami #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #nanami smut #nanami kento smut #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x y/n #jjk fanfic #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut

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dokushoclub · 6 months

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Japanese Reading Resources for Absolute Beginners

A question I encounter often is "How much Japanese should I study before I can begin reading in Japanese?"

From my experience as a learner and reader myself and from managing a Japanese book club for other learners I can honestly say that you can start way earlier than you probably think!

There are many resources that only require knowing hiragana. Those texts usually teach vocabulary through pictures and only use basic grammar.

Some are even simpler than that: The Japan Foundation's Hiragana Books are great for those, who are still remembering hiragana characters. Every short book introduces only 1-2 new characters, so it's a great reading exercise for those who've just started.

The free graded reader 「どうぞ、どうも」 by the NPO Tagengo Tadoku only uses the words 「どうぞ」 and 「どうも」 to write an entire story. Again, this makes for a great exercise in reading hiragana and understanding context. Another "level 0" recommendation by the same NPO would definitely be 「しろい？くろい？」. This book uses the full range of hiragana characters but the grammar is simple and all used vocabulary is illustrated.

Another site with great resources for absolute beginners is Nihongo Tadoku Dōjō. If you have memorized both hiragana and katakana and know how the particles を and で work you will be able to read this text about stationary (ぶんぼうぐ) and understand everything by looking at the pictures!

The resources linked so far can all be accessed completely free on the linked websites. If you have the money to spare, please also have a look at the box 「スタート」 from the series reberubetsu nihongo tadoku raiburarī published by the NPO Tagengo Tadoku and ASK (affiliate link). This box includes 8 little books in very simple Japanese.

All these texts for absolute beginners will get you started reading in Japanese with very little knowledge of characters and vocabulary.

Reading in Japanese is a skill that requires practice. But once you get used to it, it can be such a valuable tool to reinforce new vocabulary and grammar. So please don't wait until you're "ready" before you start reading - start early at your own level!

#my book reviews #reading in japanese #study japanese #learning japanese #日本語 #japanese books #やさしい日本語 #free graded readers #free tadoku graded readers #nihongo tadoku dōjō #absolute beginner level #japanese langblr #japanese language #japanese reading comprehension #japanese free reading resources #japanese reading resources

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sh0tanzz · 2 months

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Who do you think would be the mtl jealous bf in riize?

OMGG ive been waiting for an ask like this 😭

MTL JEALOUS BF IN RIIZE based on astrology ~

(reminder that this for fun and astrology is something I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew them myself !!)

Most

Sungchan - Tbsh his jealousy would be pretty overboard and extremely obvious like a blaring red signal. He would NOT play about you. His cancer moon makes him pretty sensitive and obvious with his emotions so if he felt jealous he'd get in his feelings or even sulk/ruminate as well as he'd take it pretty personal and have a hard time letting go. His leo venus makes him pretty dramatic 😭. This venus paired with his moon might make him cause a scene or "act out" . His venus+moon leads to him wanting your care and attention on him and him alone. His cap mars screams possessiveness and being restrictive, he'd get so possessive do not let him see you laugh at another guys jokes or be helpful to another guy he'd be FUMING .

Wonbin - I honestly wasn't going to rank Wonbin this high but then I remembered his taurus mars paired with venus square pluto and pluto conjunct lilith so...here we are LMFAOO. From my own personal observations taurus mars is way more possessive in comparison to taurus venus; those pluto/venus/lilith aspects paired with his mars can make his jealousy take a snowball effect leading to an emotional avalanche. Plus a power imbalance fueling the jealousy even more and leading to him being restrictive. However, I ranked him below Sungchan because Sungchan would be VERY petty and loud about his jealousy while Wonbin would most likely silently seethe (due to his pisces sun, aquarius mercury) until he ultimately can't handle holding back, but until then his jealousy would still be DEEP.

Shotaro - His scorpio moon+capricorn venus makes him take the relationship pretty seriously. He craves stability and honesty and once he feels like his jealousy is compromising the security and trust in the relationship he must act ! He won't be too quick to jump into conclusions because of his libra mars, he'd probably think things through before asking/acting on his jealousy..and he might front and pretend he's only a tiny bit jealous/concerned when really it's weighing heavy on his heart in the beginning. When he is jealous he'd be more quiet and less jovial than he usually is. He'd be pretty straight up and might even just ask/tell you about how he's feeling. When things are clarified things will be cool again and he'll go back to being your sweet taro and hopefully stop staring daggers into the random guy talking to you while smiling.

Anton - Very unserious, would text "what position he got you in" and move on with his day. KIDDDING kind of 😭 He'd have short phases of possessiveness due to his taurus venus. His moon square saturn and venus square neptune can lead to slight paranoia and being unable to naturally express his insecurities which could be the source of the jealousy. Despite these things he wouldn't express his jealousy in toxic or overboard ways, he'd probably express his jealousy through jokes or non seriousness hoping you would pick up on it (you probably would with that mercury aries, straight to the point) If he ever did tell you straight up he wouldn't be too harsh he'd just want to be honest and being reassured will patch everything right up.

Sohee - I ranked Sohee this low because honestly when reading his chart I feel like his jealousy would, similarly to Anton's, be quick to come and go. He'd be quick to say something or show that he's uncomfortable. He wouldn't sit you down to have a serious convo about it, but it would have to just passively come out in conversation . As soon as he felt reassured then he'd be fine once again. Now if it was an ongoing issue of scenarios that led to him being jealous then he'd have a more serious even messy approach (his mars square pluto) his temper would awaken. But outside of that he trusts you, even if he doesn't trust and is suspicious of the guys around you he trusts YOUUU at the very end.

Seunghan - Oh the lovely boyfriend that just wants to keep the peace. He wouldn't want you to hound him out of jealousy so he ofc wouldn't do that to you either. If he was jealous he'd be more emotional rather than being petty+aggressive. His mercury is exalted in virgo so he'd definitely want to talk about it or at least let you know how he feels. Outside of that I think he'd want to avoid such a thing in the first place. He'd trust you as best as he can and wouldn't want there to be an imbalance in the relationship to where one of you are restricting the other due to deep seated jealousy (thanks to his libra sun+venus and sag moon). He quite literally just wants you two to be happy and knows that genuine jealousy can poison such a good thing.

Eunseok - I'm sorry fellow briize but this man is quite literally the least of your concern. His aries venus wouldn't want to make things too serious and ominous with jealousy (plus because he values his freedom so in his mind you must value yours too right ?) His sag mars paired with it means he doesn't want to dwell with thoughts of you possibly giving your attention to other guys. He basically has a nonchalant "she knows where home is" mentality lowkey. Plus if he ever did feel jealous he'd probably not say anything because his cap moon+pisces mercury would barely let him properly express it (with words at least). Also weirdly enough he'd be more jealous if you weren't in a relationship compared to if you guys were; once you two are officially together he wouldn't be as jealous anymore .

Least

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kittenkkuras · 4 months

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sext — uchinaga aeri.

i'm back, sort of. still won't be too active, but i'm hoping to post new write ups / updates more often. i'm so sorry if this is short, i just couldn't take my mind off of this one, i had to write it.

tags: giselle x oc. teasing. masturbation. sexting. nsfw video right in the middle of the fic. wear your earphones.

ever since that night where giselle had drunkenly made out with you and humped herself on your lap to her orgasm, you just couldn't take your mind off of her. hell, you had even made plans on fucking her the next day, but it was finals week and you had barely seen her. it was as if the two of you were just coexisting at the same place and it was pissing you off. despite that, the two of you never stopped teasing each other since that night, like the two of you had just been waiting for that opportunity to finally be able to do this. you both had been constantly exchanging nasty messages to each other—nothing more, just sexting. however, giselle seemed to be very stressed lately, that she had decided to take things further this time.

giselle:

hey, babe. i missed you. when are you coming home?

to your surprise, giselle had sent you a message in the middle of your study session at the library. you quickly replied to let her know you won't be home until evening, to which caused aeri to frown as she read your message. she can't take it anymore. she needed you, but she can't right now. but she can, however, fuck herself to the thought of you, can't she?

giselle:

but baby, i'm so horny...

i want to feel your fingers inside of me already.

i want you to fuck me... can't you just come home and do that?

mhm... it feels so good humping my pillow while thinking about you.

my pussy's throbbing just thinking about you... bet you're thinking about me now too.

naughty girl, are you fantasizing about us fucking in the library? me eating you out underneath the table?

fuck, i need to cum...

she was driving you insane that you couldn't focus anymore. thank god the messages stopped. but it didn't even take her twenty minutes before she sent another message. this one, though, a whole lot different than the previous ones.

(nsfw video ahead! click the link if you wish to.)

giselle:

good luck studying today, loser. i'm about to fuck myself all over our apartment. feel free to join me, though—actually, i'd love that.

along with the text was an attached video of her fucking herself. with your dildo. in your kitchen. you don't know where she found it, but that was definitely your dildo she was using and holy fuck— that's all it took for you to start packing your reading materials and got ready to go home to where she was. but before leaving the library, you made sure to leave her a quick message to stimulate her even more.

you:

such a dirty little girl. fucking yourself in the kitchen counter? tsk. make sure you're in my bed when i get home in ten and i want to see you fucking your slutty cunt with my dildo, understand? i'll fucking ruin you.

#kyna writes #aespa #aespa giselle #aespa smut #giselle smut #aeri uchinaga #aeri uchinaga smut #aespa x reader #aespa x oc #aespa x you #aespa x you smut #girl group smut #kpop smut #gg smut #gxg smut #girl group x reader #girl group x reader smut

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snghnlvr · 5 months

Text

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠. / sim jaeyun

sim jaeyun x fem reader!

read part two here <3

synopsis : who knew there was something behind your relationship with the infamous smart guy at school? you had questions as to why jake likes you and chose you to be his girlfriend out of all people. soon, you found out the truth: by a bet.

extra: olivia rodrigo is my mom , if i was y/n i would’ve slapped the shit out of jake but let’s not get too physical here eh?? :] , i haven’t seen much jake angst (because he’s the most loving human ever??? he would NEVER ever do something like this) so here i am… :D

likes, comments, and reposts are very much appreciated <3

[below the cut]

“thanks for making me get $100, babe”

you look up from your seat to see your boyfriend, jake holding a $100 bill between his index and middle fingers. he sent you a wink which already made you blush like crazy but then you slowly processed the words.

what?

“what?” your expression dropped. you looked at jake, waiting for a response for what he meant.

“i said,” he planted his two hands in front of his desk, staring down at you with his beautiful eyes of his. you stared back with nothing but confusion in your eyes.

“thanks for letting me have $100 sweet cheeks.” jake’s lips curved up. he slowly leaned towards your cheeks, pecking them before proudly looking down at his cash.

that little nickname he gave you made your hearts do back flips as usual.

you stood still before replying, “what do you mean? you used me?”

you’ve liked jake ever since he was in the school’s soccer team since sophomore year. he’s popular for his smartness, his godly visuals, his amazing personality of his that steals the hearts of girls, and his talents.

your introverted personality of yours didn’t dare to make a move on jake. you were undoubtedly shy and didn’t like social interaction very much. all of the girls were in line to ask him out and directly confess their love to him, but you didn’t. you weren’t in line, you were just observing him from the side, mentally noting what he likes, didn’t like, what topics he likes to talk about and many more.

the only proof that you like him was through a little post it note you had on your desk before leaving to go to cafeteria.

sim jaeyun <3

was all you’ve written in pink in your yellow post it note. you haven’t told anyone, even your closest friend for you would be afraid of the public teasing that would soon eventually let the whole school know you like jake.

five months, he suddenly asked you out because he thought you were the “most beautiful girl i had ever laid eyes on but was scared to make a move”, quoted by sim jake himself.

at first you didn’t question it as to why he randomly asked you out.

you remember that day, you were blushing like crazy, heart almost ripping out of your rib cage, and you had all sorts of scenarios and activities both you and jake can do because both of you are in a relationship.

well, were in a relationship.

“yeah.” your thoughts were interrupted when jake responded with a heartless tone. “i admit that you were cute when you bought me gifts, but either than that,

i’ve never liked you.” his tone was monotonous.

is that why i reminded him of my birthday? is that why i reminded him of our monthsavrie? when my classes end? is that why i was the first to everything? good morning texts?

thinking about your past memories where you felt the most happy with jake,

was all just an act. just for the damn $100 dollars.

jake being the first one to hold your hand whenever both of you met, even if it’s a minute in the hallways or meeting after school ended, him being the first to notice you shivering and toss you his hoodie even if he was cold, him volunteering to help you study your subjects even if it’s 2am, him wiping your lips with his soft fingers from eating ice cream, him listening to your rants and sobs whenever your parents fight late at night, and always looking at you with nothing but love and admiration you believed,

all an act?

you lowered your head, trying to contain your proper breathing and trying not let your tears fall down. you exhaled, closing your eyes.

“who asked you?”

jake’s face slightly clenched when seeing your eyes filled with rage yet tears threatening to spill out. “who asked you for the bet?” you asked once again but with a firm tone. you didn’t break eye contact. you were thinking of his friends he always hung out with, park sunghoon, yang jungwon, lee heeseung, and many more but you felt like these people - your best friends as well - would never hurt you like that.

instead of being sad and running away, you’re staring at your ex boyfriend with bitterness. the loving stare you’ve had towards jake was rather replaced as if he’s your enemy. yeah, you’ve been backstabbed.

“does it matter?” jake tilted his head, shrugging it off. “what matters is i got my money.” he flicked his bill right in front of your face, his tongue peaking when he mockingly smiled at you.

you glanced at the dollar and then back at jake.

“did i mean nothing to you?” you asked, your thoughts suddenly spilling from your lips. “was our relationship nothing to you?” a tear spilled out of your eyes. seconds later, multiple of them were easily sliding down your cheeks.

you stood up from your seat, looking directly into jake’s emotionless eyes. “did you have fun playing with my feelings? did you enjoy taking my likeness towards you as an advantage? were your friends having fun hyping us up whenever we were around them? did you at least have some fucking sympathy for me!?”

after screaming, you looked down. you were going crazy. literally.

“god, y/n calm down. you’re embarrassing me, lower your volume.” jake crinkled his nose, eyes wandering around to see if there was anyone near the both of you.

despite not looking at him, you can hear the annoyance in his tone and the rolling of his eyes whenever you guys argue. he would call you “overdramatic.”

“fine.” you gulped before looking at him. you imagined yourself as a crying mess. it’s like every argument you had, jake would not cry, but you were.

you had to contain yourself to not let your emotions overwhelm you, but it’s hard right now.

you just got used for money.

“i hope that $100 dollar bill reminds you how much of a shitty person you are.” you grabbed your book bag and ran for your life.

out of that suffocating room.

i can’t believe it, you thought.

he’s a bitch he’s a bitch why is he a bitch!? why did he choose me!? why did he hurt me? i did nothing but .. love him and be there for him.. what did i do to get treated like this??

your chest hurts like shit, you can’t breathe, you can’t think properly, all you wanna do is to hide forever and never face jake the following monday at school. you wanted to go anywhere. anywhere but be in a room with him, sim jaeyun.

god, love is fucking embarrassing as hell.

YEAHHH jake angst drabble🕺 idk how to feel this one as i can’t imagine jake doing such a thing :(( but we need a change don’t we ? i hope you enjoyed it!! thank you for reading!! ❣️

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xervn · 24 days

Text

like a french girl 🎨

part 3 - french girl | art major ellie x dance major reader

last chapter | next chapter

ao3 link

summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.

18+ MDNI | 3.8k words | slow burn(?), mutual pining, loser ellie, recreational drug use (weed)

a/n: this took so long because im an intp AND a taurus *makes excuses for myself* also tysm to everyone who commented on the last chapter ur amazing and ily ♥

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Ellie’s in nothing but her underwear, legs criss-crossed on her navy comforter; holding a joint between her lips as she tunes the strings of her maple wood guitar. It’s a lazy Saturday, the one day out of seven where Ellie isn’t constantly tormented by homework and art projects.

These days are practically therapeutic for her. Being able to strum her fingers against the nylon strings and relish in the relaxing, skunky smell of cannabis can fix all of her problems. Minus one, of course: getting to know you better.

For now, she’s at peace with doing nothing, that is until a loud ding goes off and the brightness of her phone flashbangs her otherwise dim-lit room. She scowls, exhaling a puff from her lungs as she reaches over for the device. Ellie has friends, but she’s no social butterfly. Her phone is usually dry, especially on weekends. Jesse is definitely with Dina, so unless it's serious; there’s no reason for her to be getting a text.

Naturally, her scowl deepens when she reads that the number is unknown.

???: hii

ellie: wrong number

She opts to toss her phone away, but the next message throws her off track.

you: it’s — !

Ellie’s eyes widen at her screen like your name is a hypnotic spiral. She can feel her heart swelling well within her chest, and she’s left wondering if the weed she’s smoking is laced or if she somehow manifested you. Ellie quickly transfers her blunt in one hand and her phone in the other, straining her thumb trying to type as fast as she can to you.

ellie: oh hdy!

ellie: hey*

you: dina gave me ur number, i hope that’s okay

ellie: yeah ofc it is :-)

ellie: i was planning on giving it to you

Ellie typed that half-lie slowly, weighing how true it really was as she pressed send. It was on her plan of things she’d like to do before dying, but even then she doesn’t think she would ever gain the courage.

you: oh thank god

you: i thought i might be intruding 🙁

ellie: never, what’s up?

you: can i ask you something?

ellie: yes of course aks me anythign

ellie: ask* anything* shut sorry

ellie: SHIT

you: lmao are you okay??

ellie: yeah… forget about that, ask away

you: well i was wondering if you could help me study? im failing my anatomy class..

you: if u can’t it’s okay though!

A sheepish grin spreads across Ellie’s face, as she thinks about all the scenarios that could lead to. To think she’d finally have an excuse to see you after weeks of hoping, of praying for the opportunity. You asked her for help instead of taking other options, especially considering how much easier it would’ve been for you to.

ellie: its no problem, id be glad to help :-)

you: really?? ur a lifesaver els, tysmm

you: when are you free?

ellie: Right now.

ellie: or whenever .

you: let’s meet at the library in 20?

Almost instantly, Ellie’s excitement warps into anxiety. She wasn’t particularly ready to see you and twenty minutes doesn’t seem like nearly enough time to get her shit together. She thought you’d ignore her impulsive desperation of “right now” and set plans for a later date, but, alas, you didn’t.

Ellie rubs her forehead with her blunt holding hand, trying to scratch the itch of her worries away with just her pinky and thumb. Despite her increasing knowledge of you over the past few weeks, she was still incredibly nervous to be around you.

Ellie takes one final hit of her joint before snuffing it out in a doob tube on her nightstand. She sets her guitar against her bed and nearly falls off trying to get up in a rush, even though she has more than enough time to get ready.

She stumbles around the room to put something on, settling with a gray hoodie and a pair of jeans. She attempts to keep her balance as she hastily shoves each leg through her pants; simultaneously eyeing around her room in an attempt to remember where exactly she put her anatomy textbooks.

Ellie hears a familiar ding from her bed and she snaps towards it to pick up her phone, peering at the screen.

you: ellie?

Ellie curses under her breath, scolding herself for forgetting to text you back. She taps on the keyboard, quickly making sure she doesn’t manage another typo before hitting send.

ellie: sorry! yeah i’ll see you in twenty!

you: awesome :)

—

You weren’t ready to see Ellie either, you figured, since it took you hours to actually text her. You made up far-fetched scenarios with the worst outcomes; the one where she immediately deletes your number tormented you for quite a while. Now you’re trudging across campus to meet her, internally at war with your mixed emotions. On one hand you get to hang out with a cute girl and on the other you’re hanging out with a really cute girl. Alone. Zero friends around.

There’s a chance you two might not have anything to talk about. You guys are only mutual friends after all. Even if you guys somehow manage to start a conversation, what if she comes to not like you by the end of it, or vice versa? Not to mention the window incident you’re both hoping the other forgot.

You hesitate in your steps as you reach the library doors. It’d only take a few seconds to spin around and walk back, but how could you leave her there? You thoughtlessly chew on your lip, eyes worriedly shifting around.

You can’t recall any moment you’ve been so anxious about meeting up with a girl before. Not once, not even in a distant memory. You’ve always been the bolder one in your endeavors. The fact that Ellie is the only girl to make you feel this way has to mean something. You slowly pace in front of the doors in an attempt to dissipate your worries, nodding to your inner thoughts and ignoring the probable concerned stares in the distance. You’re the one who invited her, so you’re gonna stick it the fuck through. You couldn’t bail before testing the waters, you’d never forgive yourself.

So you barge into the building, letting the cool air hit your face from the swinging doors; granting you a waft of leather and drying ink. The building was decorated with freakishly tall dark wood bookshelves; so high, there were beige ladders in place to reach the top shelves. As expected, it was quiet, empty and definitely overfunded. Studying has never been your forte and you’ve never stepped in this building; save for a few dance history books. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case for everyone else. Thankfully, one pro definitely outweighs those cons. Ellie was going to help you study. Ellie is the reason you’re here at all.

You tidy up your outfit that you diligently put together and roam farther into the library, trying to hold down a smile that’s impossible to hold down. In fact, it completely takes over your face. You need to simmer down your giddiness before you start skipping around. You purse your lips and briefly steady your eyes on the dark, olive carpeted floor ahead of you.

You head towards the front desk that’s just a sunken step away with the intention of asking for directions to the study hall. An older lady is sitting there, glowering with obvious annoyance definitely because of your loud entry. It’s been ages since you’ve been in the library— your failing grade proves that— and clearly you’ve forgotten all the rules with it.

A flash of guilt passes through you and you force an apologetic smile. She returns it with a grunt and you immediately redirect yourself further into the library; aimlessly in search for the study hall.

You’ve been walking around for a solid five minutes and you swear you’ve passed the same fantasy section a million times now. It’d be smart to text Ellie and tell her you’ll be late, but your ego won’t let you.

The looming large, ornate bookshelves certainly don’t make it any easier for you to navigate around.

The question of why the school spent so much money on all this occupies your mind as you venture further. You make a turn around a corner you’ve definitely made before, and you sigh at the familiarity of the area in front of you.

You keep pressing forward anyway, hoping you can manage a new route this time around.

Before you can make another turn, you’re interrupted by drowned footsteps behind you blending into your own, followed by a tap on your shoulder. You flinch at the sudden touch, sharply turning around only to see Ellie looking at you with a downward smile.

“Lost?” She sarcastically presumes, her viridescent eyes taking in your shocked yet relieved expression.

You fiddle with the straps of your backpack between your fingers, shyly glancing around you. “No, I was just… looking for more textbooks.” You nod sagely at your own words, as if you’re trying to convince yourself too.

“Oh? Next to—“ The auburn-haired girl squints at the shelf behind you before adorning a wide grin, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets?”

Your brows raise and you follow her eyes onto the obviously fiction-filled bookcase. “Uh, yeah? I’ve got Professor Snape at four.”

Ellie narrows her eyes at you in amused disbelief, trying not to laugh at your adorably dorky excuse.

Dramatically sighing in defeat, “Fuck, okay, you got me.” You say lowly, a bashful smile developing on your lips.

“You passed the study hall five times. I counted.” Ellie goads.

You partially suppress your laugh, mindlessly giving her arm a light smack. “Oh, my god. Don’t tell me that!”

She dotes on your laughter and your touch; whether it was intentional or not. Either way, she’s feeling good about herself now and her previous worries about this encounter floated away, and you could safely say the same.

“It’s a good book though, we can go back and get it. No need to be shy about it.” Ellie quips.

“Shush!”

—

With Ellie as your guide, the trip to the study hall was much easier than you made it out to be. You recognized the big glass windows you passed by often and when you stepped into it, you flushed with embarrassment. It was a direct contrast to the old-fashioned, mahogany colored library you’d been meandering around.

Ellie really could’ve counted the times you walked by, and she really did. The first time, she thought you must’ve seen a friend and left to catch up with them. However, the second time around she realized you might be lost.

She was going to text you and tell you to turn around, but she thought it was cute seeing you walk in circles, ignoring literally every sign in your way. By the fourth time, she could tell you thought you were in a time loop and she found it fucking hilarious. Someone like you, seemingly exceptional in everything but directions. The fifth time came and, of course, she decided she was being cruel and had to come help you herself.

Ellie leads you to the desk where she’s set camp at, and the amount of books and paperwork makes you dizzy. “Jesus, Els. Are you teaching me the entire course?”

She takes a seat before giving you an answer, “Well.. That depends on how bad you’re failing.”

You take a seat across from her, setting your backpack on the floor before resting your forearms on the oak table. “My teacher said I was dumb as fuck and essentially called me a homophobic slur.” You’re exaggerating, obviously, but that was exactly what it felt like.

Ellie scoffs out a sound, unsure of whether to laugh or be offended for you. “Damn... It’s Bill, isn’t it? God, that guy is a fuckin’ prick.” She questions, clearly unsurprised by his actions.

You sit upright in your chair, relief shining through your words, “Yes! Is that his thing?”

Ellie casually leans back, thinking back to when she was a student of his. “Oh, yeah. He’s a blunt guy, shitty filter,” She continues, and somehow you’re both meeting each other’s looks, “But he’s fair with his grades, n’ I know it doesn’t make it any better, but he has a husband. He’s just… old.. and grumpy.”

You try to consider that he is letting you retake a major grade. You guess you could appreciate that somewhat. “True... still, the comment was unprovoked. You must know him well though?”

“Yeah, I took his class last year. We were at each other's throats about coursework n’ shit. Really hard to reason with that guy.” Ellie purposely leaves out the part where she was being unreasonable too, but only for the sake of storytelling, of course. “Then that summer, I saw him at a family gathering.” She finishes off with a dramatic shiver in disgust and you laugh at how endearing it was.

“Anyways, his gaydar is somethin’ else. I can never tell.” She admits, carelessly waving a hand in the air. Ellie’s radar in particular is broken. Shattered, even. She can’t keep track of the amount of times she has stood in the shower, realizing a girl was flirting with her only days later.

“Even with me?”

“Even with you...” She speaks with artificial sadness and a slight sulk.

“Ouch… I’m wounded.” You fake a frown, slightly dropping your shoulders.

Ellie’s eyes fall to your nails; some suspiciously shorter than the others, and all painted in your favorite color. “But… that I know for sure, I can definitely tell.” Ellie comments.

A swarm of butterflies suddenly parade your belly, and you shine a coy smile her way. “They’re not short because of that…” Your half-hearted attempt to defend yourself drips in the lightness of your voice.

Ellie briefly raises her eyebrows with a sly smile plastered on her face, folding her arms over her chest; which, unbeknownst to you, was to shield how hard her heart was thumping. She’s shocked she hasn’t turned into a pile of mush yet, probably thanks to her smoke session earlier.

“I’m serious! I keep my hands to myself.” You continue on, putting in a little effort in your voice for your defense this time. For the most part it is true, lately your mind has been on Ellie, and Ellie only. The thought of random flings didn't excite you, but she did. However, it wasn’t not true that you’ve had a fair share of hookups. You’re in an art school, how could you not?

“C’mon, just yourself? I’m sure you've cared to share.” Ellie playfully pokes around you with her words; nonchalant and prone for a reaction.

Your jaw slightly drops, making your head tilt to the side incredulously. “Wow. What makes you think that?”

Ellie unfolds her tattooed arm to rub her palm against the back of her neck, responding unexpectedly timid, “Hey, ‘m not blind. I know you’re popular.”

You snicker at her explanation and shake your head. “They’re friends. You can be friends with girls even if you’re gay, Ellie.”

“Friends don’t touch you like that.” She notes with an uncharacteristically stern expression.

It surprises you for a second, but all it makes you wanna do is poke fun, tease her, and see where it’d go. “Like what?”

Ellie sighs, reluctantly explaining further, “Like they’ve touched you before.”

“Straight girls are touchy.” You shrug, purposefully ignoring what she tried to imply.

The way you said it so matter-of-factly makes Ellie’s eyes roll. “You know I don’t mean it like– ugh, my judgment is usually fucked up, but that? That I can tell the difference with.” Ellie states with surety.

You narrow your gaze at her, a teasing grin forming on your lips. “What are you jealous or something?”

“Of you or the girls?”

“Oh, the girls were an option?” You playfully remark, but also with honest curiosity in how she’d answer.

Ellie clears her throat and leans forward to place her textbooks into view, trying to hide the blush spreading across her features. She’s not doing a great job at it and you’d love to tease her some more, but you can settle with taking the win for now.

—

Night crept up faster than you both anticipated, the ambient sounds of paper printing and carts rolling by were no longer prevalent. The only thing filling the room is the buzz of the light fixture above and the words you two exchange. The table is cluttered with Ellie’s open notes and some textbooks with neon page markers poking out the sides. It wasn’t organized by any means, but it was a mess you both found easy to work around.

Surprisingly, Ellie is a great tutor. When she saw your paper, she didn’t make fun of you like you thought she would. Instead, she expressed how grating it is to remember all that crap and you shouldn’t give yourself a hard time over it.

To help you memorize the muscles of the body, you guys settled on one area and made up silly rhymes for it. She tried to argue that brachiosaurus was perfect for brachialis even though it didn’t even rhyme. You even gave her the chance to pick a different one, but then she said brachyceratops with a mockingly straight face and you knew she couldn’t be trusted for the task anymore.

The air between you two wasn’t stuffy or silent like you feared it’d be. Ellie made you laugh, not in the breathy forced way you’ve unknowingly gotten used to making.

She made sure you listened to her tips & tricks, made you review your mistakes so you wouldn’t repeat them again.

You hadn’t picked up your phone for anything other than to google things on the subject, and your ringer? Off. Your attention never strayed far from her. That made her undeniably nervous– sweaty, and hard for her to breathe normally, but she could acknowledge how well she was doing.

Ellie’s head is dipped down to a paper you two were working on and you’re openly ogling, wondering how she’d look in a pair of glasses. Flipping through papers, tapping the back of a pen on her inviting lips. You tell yourself you snap back to reality before your mind strays any further.

“If we keep this up, you’ll remember it all in no time” She encourages, eyes still glued on the paper. Secretly, she hopes it takes a little longer. Just a little.

“Thanks for helping me out, Els.” You say, face tilted into the palm of your hand.

Ellie looks up from the paper to give you a smile, but she doesn’t hold her gaze for long. A millisecond later and her blush would have you thinking she had a sudden, terrible fever.

“It’s no problem. It helps me out too.” Ellie points to the examples she sketched out for you with her pencil. She pauses before speaking again, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in her mouth, “Can I ask you something?”

Studying her expectantly, you lift your head off your hand. “Yeah?”

Ellie fidgets with her pencil, trying to muster up courage. Her mouth feels dry trying to push out the words. “I’m also struggling with a class and uh,” she twirls her pencil in one hand, tucking a sliver of her hair behind her ear with the other, “I was wondering if you could be the model for my art final?” Her question came out whinier than she’d like it to, making her freckled-face wince.

You can sense how nervous she is about asking, but you can’t place your finger on why she ever would be. This is the first time anyone has ever asked you something like this, so in your mind it’s nothing but exciting, especially coming from her. You can already imagine yourself sitting prettily still while Ellie studies you and paints long, fancy strokes on a yellow canvas. “Ellie, are you kidding? I’d love to.”

Her lashes flutter in disbelief, “Really?”

“You’re helping me, so why not? It’s fair.”

“It’s kind of a weird thing to ask. I mean, we barely know each other.” Ellie murmurs, unaware that you have absolutely no idea what she’s on about.

You lift a brow at her. “We will eventually, right? What’s weird about a portrait anyways?”

“It’s not a portrait… Well, I guess it is–“ Ellie sighs into her palm, “I’m drawing you, but…” She cringes before she can finish her sentence.

“A portrait in pencil? What am l missing?” You slowly question.

“Think Titanic.” She grimaces as she waits for your reaction, trying not to bang her head on the table for picking Titanic of all movies.

“Titanic? What does that have to do with…” Your voice trails off, quieting down so you can process what Ellie said. Think Titanic. It's hard for you to connect what the 1997 romance movie had to with this, but when it connected, it connected. The infamous drawing scene was memorable. You’re in awe, not quite sure how to react.

“You don’t have to be fully… y’know..” Ellie insists.

Your face is still unreadable, as if you're lost in thought, and it’s freaking her out. Too many what-ifs are going through her head, all of them gradually getting worse the longer you stay silent. She thinks she got too close to the sun when she had more than enough warmth. She's already preparing herself for rejection, worryingly scouting your face for a hint of revulsion; however, it never comes.

“Oh. Okay.” You calmly respond with a shrug, your face still unreadable; the only difference being a light smile. You could’ve thought about it longer, but you’re so flattered Ellie wants you to pose for her that you rather worry about it later. She wants to sketch your body onto paper. Yours. It sounds vulnerable and a little nerve wracking, but she’s your friend. A friend you have a crush on, sure, but you wouldn’t want to inconvenience her over it. Plus, you owe her now. Really, you’re purely being selfless. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“Okay?” Ellie repeats to make sure she was hearing things right.

“Like I said, you’re doing this for me, so I’ll do it for you.” You reassure, gesturing around to the study session laid across the table.

“Are you sure? You know I’ll still tutor you, even if you say no–”

“— Do you not want me to?” You pout your lips, hoping she hasn't changed her mind already.

“Are you shitting me? Of course I do. I just… didn’t expect you to say yes.” Ellie finally says, absolutely dumbfounded given her hand movements.

You laugh melodically, “Didn’t think that far, huh?”

“Nope.” She answers with a cute embarrassed smile, her blood rushing to her face.

Your phone buzzes, probably a text or notification. You reach out and shove a few papers to the side to get to it before taking a look, only for your eyes to be drawn to the time. “Shit. It’s late. I think the library closes soon…” You murmur regretfully, feeling all too comfortable where you were.

Ellie presses her tongue against her cheek in annoyance, upset that time dared to pass by as fast as it did. “We should get going then, I guess.” She says dejectedly, not wanting to leave you just yet.

You peep her suddenly gray aura and smile warmly towards her. “Can you walk me back to my dorms?”

She nods with subtle enthusiasm and pushes out of her seat, immediately packing all her belongings to join your side. “Yes! — I mean, sure. Yeah.”

—-

The lamp post lights are warm and waning, complimenting the shadows on both your faces. You two walk down the dark flagstone path towards the housing area, chatting about nothing. It’s nice to be able to spend a little more time with her before the night is over. Unfortunately, you guys were drawing closer and closer to your dorm and the feeling of loss came as quick as it left.

“Hey, Els?”

She glanced at you and hummed in response, giving you the signal to continue. “I was wondering if you were gonna be at some party tomorrow? Apparently Dina’s co-hosting it.”

Ellie looks at you quizzically before looking off elsewhere to think. “Why the fuck would they party on a Sunday?”

You snort out a laugh before lifting and dropping your shoulders, “I don’t know, senioritis or something. Will you come though?”

“Mhm, I’ll be there.” She smiles as she speaks, loving how your face lit up by the end of it. Ellie isn’t too fond of parties, but for you? She can make an exception.

You cheer in a whisper tone and it makes Ellie smile harder, her features creasing in adoration. You two finally approach your dorm building. You walk up a step before turning to wave goodbye. She raises a palm in return and you flash her a smile that makes her heart leap before turning into the building.

If Ellie couldn’t tell before, she’s completely enamored by you.

daily click to help palestine interested in auto-sending ceasefire emails to congress? visit this (ios)

a/n: fuck jk rowling but i rlly couldnt think of any other commonly known fantasy book :/

taglist: @bready101 @pascals-doll @macaroni676 @khai-le @pedropascalsbbg @seraphicsentences @starlight-savegery @snowy-vee @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @a-little-bit-of-everybody @elliesactualgirlfriend

#ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader #tlou2 #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #ᝰ like a french girl

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youalreadyhavefullresults · 8 months

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the mindset journey

So hi.

My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.

TLDR:

Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.

Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?

It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.

Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)

Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.

Revision is so powerful, use it.

It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.

And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33

I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

The Initial Mindset:

I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.

The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.

When Everything Changed:

I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.

For example,

“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”

Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.

“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”

I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.

“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”

First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.

“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”

Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.

“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”

Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.

“Can I manifest-”

Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.

“But-but, what if-”

Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?

I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.

How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!

-cinna

#self concept #motivation #loa #law of assumption #manifestation #subconscious #success story #mine #mindset #neville goddard #manifesting #loassumption #law of manifestation

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artemiscrocksgf · 1 year

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you vex me (aemond targaryen x reader)

part two now posted!

pairing: aemond targaryen x velaryon fem!reader

warning: angst , pining, enemies to lovers ?? , incest (uncle/niece) it's hotd ofc.

word count: 1.5k

a/n: i couldn't help myself but use the iconic bridgerton line as a prompt for this. if y'all want this to be an enemies to lovers series let me know

The wind rustled the Weirwood tree, leaves drifting down from the branches above – your candle lamp being the only source of light as it illuminated the empty courtyard. The Godswood had become your escape from the endless politics that lived within the Keep. It started when you were a child as a place to hide from your siblings, now a place to hide from the world – since returning to King's Landing with your mother Princess Rhaenyra, and your siblings there has been barely a moment where there wasn’t an argument or physical altercation of sorts. The nightly visits to the old Weirwood tree had become a routine at this point, you had gotten quite good at sneaking out of your chambers without alerting your guards.

You breathe in the open air, the smell of poppy flowers and the candle wax that burnt aside you whifting through your nostrils. You had missed the beauty of the Red Keep, that is beauty that remained untouched by the Greens that now overrule the place you once called home. You sink deeper into the grass, propping the book you borrowed from Daemon on your lap, the candle lamp flickering as you read to yourself. You let your mind wander as you mindlessly study the text, enjoying your peace when you hear a loud groan followed by some hushed arguments.

Your personal escape invaded.

The darkness engulfed the courtyard as you extinguished the candle flame, a part of yourself nagging you to return to your chambers before you’re caught, the other wanting you to stay. Book in hand you hid behind the Weirwood tree when the sound of Aegon stumbling into the ground broke the silence, Aemond following close behind him.

“Oh it’s you fools,” you say curtly, stepping out from behind the tree. You glance at Aegon, still laying face down in the grass mumbling nonsense words to himself. “Seems like someone had one too many drinks,”.

“Where is your guard?” Aemond questioned, strands of his silver blonde hair falling over his shoulder as he struggles to hold up the now unconscious Aegon. Even in the darkness, you can see his muscles flex, bunching his leather sleeves up as he adjusts Aegon’s slumped body around his arm.

“Where is yours, Uncle?” You jest. Aemond’s eye rakes your figure up and down, with the whole distraction you had completely forgotten that you stood in the courtyard in your nightgown. You wrap your arms closer to your chest, using the book as a cover – despite that you could still feel his gaze on you.

“One might question your reasoning for being out during the hours of the owl, dear niece… given your mother’s reputation and all,” he steered, his words mocking – an attempt to get a raise out of you.

“Mmm, your words do not provoke me…” you reply, stepping towards him, “Given the position your brother is in, it is quite hypocritical no?” you continue now standing toe to toe. Neither one of you broke the gaze, he stood tall and agile – raising his hand he grazes his fingertips along a strand of your hair letting it fall. Your lips flatten into a thin line, not giving him the response he craves.

All of sudden, Aegon’s stomach lurched and gurgled as he retched into the bushes, Aemond unfazed by his older brother's unsavory behavior. Aegon wiped his mouth with his sleeve, his eyes half open as he floundered through the courtyard yelling incoherent sentences. Cursing, Aemond attempted to quiet his brother, “Do you want to get caught, you idiot?”. His slender fingers gripped Aegon's collar as he attempted to drag him out, Aegon resisted, kicking his younger brother and causing Aemond to lose his grip. The two toss and chase one another around the courtyard, although it is an entertaining show it was beginning to become an issue. As much as you hate to admit it Aemond is right, if guards were to find that had snuck out of your chambers rumors would circulate, and albeit you have become attuned to the whispers about your family – it would do no good for your mother.

The siblings continue to wrestle with each other, “Oh for Heaven’s sake, will both of you stop.” you interrupt, “I would rather not get caught being out of my chambers… especially not with you two pigs,”. Aemond ignoring your words continued to hold his brother down, his hair flowing off his shoulder as he knelt down to Aegon – his hands curled into fists striking him unconscious. You jolt towards them, your face painted in shock, Aemond untroubled brushes his knuckles – the ends of his mouth quirking into a smirk as he watches your expression.

“You did ask for us to stop, did you not?” Aemond coaxes amused by your annoyance. You roll your eyes, deciding whether you should leave the two or assist. The latter decision winning, you walk past Aemond’s lean silhouette, using your full weight to pull up Aegon’s limp body. “What are you doing?”, he questions his eyebrow creasing as he watches you.

“As I said, I wish not to get caught… so let’s get on with it,” you commanded, struggling to hold Aegon’s motionless- self upright. He hefted Aegon’s body and held him against himself like a child, taking the majority of his weight off you. “Lord, he is deceivingly heavy,” you groan as you wrap your arm around him helping Aemond carry his brother back to his chambers.

“I thought you were strong? like your brothers,” Aemond’s jaw clenched as he stifles his laugh, a proud grin across his face. You abruptly come to a halt hanking Aegon’s arm back, causing him and Aemond to lose balance and stumble into the stone pavement.

“Oops, I thought I saw a guard, my mistake!” you remarked looking down at him. His eye darkens, pushing his body off the ground, he plants himself before you. Perhaps you had pushed him too far. His fingers snake under your chin and rest beneath your chin, tilting your head up to meet his stare.

“You infuriate me,” his grip tightened across your jaw, not enough pressure to bruise but firm enough to leave traces of his touch.

“And you vex me,” jolting your chin up, his finger tracing the lines of your face. You study his face, his sharp features prominent in the dark night. The faded scar across his face, although a symbol of the rivalry – fascinated you, it made you want to trace the lengths of it with your fingers but you resisted.

“You truly are the bane of my existence,” he mumbled, his body so close to yours you can feel his warm breath and his musky scent that lingered between your bodies. His blue eye pierced into yours. He places his grip down on your neck, a soft moan escaping your lips before you could register it. Although your mind despises him, your body says otherwise. Aemond grins at your sounds, his middle and forefinger touching your chin and then brushing your bottom lip. Every nerve in your body is searing with heat from his touch. Your breath catches in your lungs as his other hand snakes into your hair pulling your face closer, your lips hovering inches away from his.

Aegon’s groans interrupt you both, “Fuck,” Aemond whispers, pulling away from you. You stood dazed. In all honesty, you had completely forgotten he was still unconscious on the ground. You did not know who to hate more, Aegon for ruining the moment, or yourself for feeling the way you feel for Aemond. You hide your disappointment, as Aemond steps away from you hoisting his brother upright. You slowly move towards them holding up Aegon on the other side, your face still flustered.

The shuffles of your footsteps echo the empty corridor nearing Aegon’s chamber. Aemond adjusts his grip on Aegon, his fingers graze your arm. The sudden contact hitches your breath, his fingers still on your arm, unfazed at the warmth underneath his touch. You let his fingertips linger on your arm as you both hauled the drunken Prince into his room.

You wait by the door as Aemond carries his brother to his bed. Despite the fight that had just occurred with his brother, Aemond is still careful placing him down. You struggled to comprehend how someone could be so vexing but so gentle. All you knew was that Aemond Targaryen intrigues you.

His lean figure appears from the darkness of Aegon’s chamber, you notice his expression soften as he sees you still waiting. You clear your throat, “I should make way to my chamber…” you pause a part of you hoping he would interject, “It is late,” you continue.

“Indeed,” His demeanor changed to the Aemond you knew, the Aemond you loathed. He stood tall with his arms behind his back – not bothering to make eye contact with you.

You scoff, “Goodnight Prince Aemond,”, you roll your eyes as you turn to make your way to your quarters when a sudden grip pulls you back forcing you to collapse into his body. You look down at his hand firm on your arm. Aemond’s mouth descends onto yours, you tense – but return the movements. His kiss is a hungry clash of tongue and teeth. His hand cups your face, the other entangled in your hair as he captures you in a firmer kiss.

“I still despise you,” you say in between deep kisses. You feel his smile as he murmurs, “I know,” into your lips, the inviting warmth of his tongue skimming along yours.

part two here

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond the kinslayer #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen x y/n #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond fic #aemond targaryen x targaryen reader

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jhughesangel · 2 months

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YOU GUYS!! i decided to get over myself and just write something super quick! i’m actually so nervous about this so if it’s bad let me know that this is NOT for me hahaha. anyways i did not proof read this because it was embarrassing to go back and try to read it. let me know what you think!!!! if i like writing i’ll will most likely make a new blog for it! also don’t mind the formatting i will figure it out one day. xoxoxo

Three times luke shows yn he loves her and the one time he finally says it.

One

luke walked quietly into his room after morning skate and smiled seeing yn snuggled into his side of the bed. he smiled to himself and walked over to her “hi lukey” she mumbled “hi pretty baby” he took her hand into his and kissed it. “i saw these on my way home and they made me think of you” yn smiled and looked at the bouquet of pink roses luke was holding. “thank you lukey they are beautiful” she said blushing. “they made me think of you” luke replied kissing her head softly. “i’ll put these in water and then we can nap” yn nodded watching luke walk out of the room. she couldn’t help but smile at the thought of luke thinking of her.

two

yn’s eyes hurt from studying for more than two hours. she sighed resting her head on top of her open text book. “baby you’re still out here?” luke questioned as he strolled into the living room rubbing his eyes of sleep. yn nodded and didn’t say anything. “it’s late baby why don’t we go to bed?” luke walked towards the table and put his hands on her shoulders “no luke i can’t. i need to pass this test” “i know baby but-“ “NO LUKE!” she snapped at him “you don’t get it luke you aren’t in school anymore” she said rolling her eyes “yn i wasn’t trying to upset you” luke said backing away from the table. yn suddenly felt extremely guilty watching her sweet boy back away from her “no lukey i’m sorry i didn’t mean to snap at you. you have every right to be upset with me” she had tears in her eyes as she said it. luke shook his head and grabbed her text book closing it “baby i’ll never be upset with you. you work so hard and i want you to know i’m here for you. let’s go to bed okay?” luke gently grabbed her arm helping her out of the chair and walking her into his room.

three

yn listened to the buzz of the crowd at the rock. it was the first game of the season that she finally could attend being so busy with work and school. she looked at her friend who sat next to her “i’m a little nervous” she said quietly. “why?” her friend asked making a confused face. “it’s just me and luke aren’t really public yet and what if someone figures it out?” “do you not want anyone to know?” her friend questioned her. “i do i’m just not sure luke does” yn’s friend was about to respond but she was interrupted but the devils being announced. the game was tied in the third period and yn watched anxiously as luke skated through with the puck and shot it right into the back of the net she jumped up to her feet and cheered. luke quickly skated over tapping his heart and then point directly at her before going back to the game. yn blushed as the people around her cheered. “i don’t think you have to worry about luke not wanting anyone to know” her friend said wrapping an arm around yn’s shoulder.

+one

yn was standing in front of the mirror while luke zipped the back of her dress for her. “there all done baby” he smiled kissing the back of her head. “thank you lukey” she said making eye contact with him through the mirror. “you look absolutely beautiful” she blushed “stop it” she said shyly “i’m serious you look beautiful and i can’t wait for the team to meet you” luke said. tonight was an event for the devils and this was yn’s first time meeting everyone “i’m so nervous” she said turning around to face him. she wrapped her arms around his neck and luke pulled her closer by her waist. “nothing to be nervous about angel. they will love you because i love you” yn looked up at him and smiled “you love me?” luke nodded “more than anything” he said bending down to kiss her “i love you too lukey i’m so thankful for you” she said pressing her lips to his.

#new jersey devils #nj devils #luke hughes #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x you #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes fanfic #new jersey devils imagine

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blessedwithabadomen · 2 months

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in love with the mess - day four

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : fluff, flirting, the slightest hint of angst if you squint, some smut (nipple play, masturbation)

length : 5k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @somebodyels3

a/n : it's getting more smutty, my friends!! enjoy the chapter 💗

•••

day four

I woke up in the middle of the night, sleepy and confused as to why I was conscious at all. It took me a moment to blink into the darkness and realise that a figure was standing next to the bed, instead of lying next to me in it. Noah was peacefully sleeping still, turned away from me now, his back touching mine, but Oli was moving about. I reached out for him, making him jump a little when I touched his leg as he was stood next to the bed.

“What are you doing?” I whispered, careful not to wake Noah as well. Oli hesitated, then sat back down on the bed, leaning down to me so I could hear him.

“I was gonna go back to my room.”

“Why?”

I couldn’t see his eyes in the dark. I couldn’t read his face or make out his expression and it left me at a disadvantage.

“Didn’t wanna…”

He never finished the sentence. I allowed myself to softly stroke along his temple, cupping his cheek, enticing him to come back. It worked, without any words, although I still sensed some hesitation as he laid back down, my touch never leaving him.

“What’s up with you?” I asked, knowing fully well his mind was so loud that he probably wouldn’t be able to find the words right then and there. “All good flirting with me and teasing me all day, but scared of a little intimacy?”

I didn’t want to call him out, but we both knew I wasn’t entirely wrong.

“‘M not scared of anything,” he mumbled, stubborn and pouting. But he allowed me to envelop him in another hug, before I pushed at his shoulder so he would turn away from me. I knew he didn’t like being vulnerable. But sometimes he, too, needed to be the little spoon.

•••

What was meant to be a morning of sleeping in was cruelly interrupted by incessant banging on my door. As it turned out, while me and Bring Me did indeed have a late start, Noah was wanted much earlier but had successfully put his phone on silent last night after texting Nick he was having a movie night with us. At least it meant that they knew which room to disturb when they realised he hadn't returned to bed that morning.

Noah was already halfway up by the time I'd opened the door to Nick, but Oli only lifted his head for a moment, decided none of it was his problem and continued snoozing. I made quick work of ushering a sleepy, absolutely adorable looking Noah out the door. He paused, though, in the middle of the door frame, turning back to me. For a moment, we simply stared at each other, my heart going double time just from being subjected to the way he was studying every inch of my face and I was wondering, no, hoping he would kiss me, but the moment passed and Nick was shouting for him and he was down the hall before I fully realised.

Stumbling back into bed, I immediately moved under the covers, more than willing to make the best out of our late start and get some more rest. Oli, lying on his back, pulled me onto him, using me as his personal blanket, and I didn’t resist. It seemed like his securities shone a little less brightly in the approaching daylight. I melted into him, his warmth, the comfort he was providing.

“Are you happy?”

The question, uttered so softly I barely had it, caught me completely off guard. I tired lifting my head to look at Oli, but the position made it almost impossible and the way his arms held me didn’t help.

“That’s a bit of a loaded question,” I mumbled, not quite sure yet how to answer.

“Are you happy on this tour?” he rectified. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just dragging you places, again and again, like taking you on this tour and putting you in situations-”

I sat up so abruptly that Oli had no chance to keep me down anymore. But the last thing I wanted was him overthinking like this, the way I knew he could sometimes until it took him straight into the abyss, and I needed to look at him to make sure he would believe me.

“Oliver Scott Sykes, I’m very happy on this tour. I’m very happy whenever you drag me places and put me in situations. Last year was fucking bullshit and you know that but now it’s only January and I’m here, with you, being on tour like you know I love. I’m still finding myself and I don’t know where I’m going in life, but believe me. I’m happy.”

Oli sat up, his arms once again wound around my middle, keeping me in his lap, and this time I was sure he was going to kiss me, this was it, this was the moment, this was what I’d been dreaming of and thinking about for longer than I’d ever admit to him, I’d finally get him to myself, I’d finally know what his lips felt like on mine. He pushed my hair behind my ear, looking into my eyes so deeply I felt more naked than I ever could by being undressed. My breath hitched as his was hitting my face, he was so close.

My phone rang.

Oli let out the most miserable groan I’d ever heard as he let go of me, letting himself fall onto the mattress again. I couldn’t blame him. I very much felt like screaming at whoever was at the other end of that phone call. Unfortunately, it turned out to be Lia, which ruled out homicide.

“To what the fuck do I owe the pleasure?”

“Did I catch you at a bad time? Where are you?”

“Sitting on Oli,” I said before my brain could catch up with my mouth. Oli started shaking with laughter underneath me as Lia shrieked.

“And you’re answering the phone! What is wrong with you, girl!”

“Not like that,” I sighed, knowing fully well that I wasn’t going to convince her right now. “But let’s talk about why you called in the first place.”

“Right! The Manchester gig is tomorrow, isn’t it? Well, you could already guess I was going to take you out afterwards because there’s no way you’re passing through my city and not having shots with me, but also I just got confirmation that I can clock out early tomorrow so you better get me that backstage pass so we can hang.”

I pulled the phone away from my ear a little, looking down at Oli who still looked so, so delectable under me. “Backstage pass for Lia?”

“Always,” he immediately agreed. They’d known each other for years now, thanks to me, and he knew how important she was to me. Getting her a pass was probably one of the easier feats.

“Sorted,” I confirmed.

“Hell yes! Hide yo’ boys, I’m coming tomorrow!”

“Lia, you’re a married lesbain.”

“I’m not saying hide them because I’m gonna hit on them. I’m saying hide them because I will bother them with questions as to why neither has fucked you yet. Assuming you’d tell me if one of them had. Because you better. Anyway, took a double shift to get off early tomorrow so I gotta head back to work, love you, go back to pouncing Oli!”

I echoed her sentiment - the one about love, not the one about Oli -, before hanging up and chucking the phone back on the nightstand. I would have loved to stay like this a little longer. Having Oli underneath me truly was a sight to behold. But I’d seen the time and I knew we should be getting ready sooner rather than later.

“Alright loverboy, time for the day to start,” I said. Then, unable to keep myself from saying it out loud, I added, “We’ll revisit this another time.”

When I moved away to climb off him, I made sure to drag myself over his crotch with just enough pressure to underline the sentiment.

•••

Oli, for once, had assured me that he wouldn't actually need me to run for anything for a while so I did my next favourite thing apart from waiting hand and foot on him and walked out on the floor of the arena to watch Bring Me soundcheck. There was something magical about getting to see hints of the show before it actually happened. The technical side of it never failed to amaze me - figuring out how the band would sound their absolute best, tweaking every little detail for the optimal experience wherever the audience would hear it from, fixing all the little errors in communication with the artists, until it came together to an awe-inspiring show of the highest class.

Plus, there was something quite adorable about watching the band play without all their usual stage antics, wrapped in comfortable hoodies, a beanie with little pompoms on Oli's head.

Walking around the floor, it obviously didn't take long to get spotted as Becky, one of the sound techs, waved me over.

“Looking good, I dig the crop top!”

Looking down at myself, I double checked the outfit I had chosen for the day. It was one of the many options Oli had provided me with, a soft lacey top that showed a little of my midriff, a few buttons along the middle of it, paired with some dark trousers that had been adorned with a number of studs. I had also finally unpacked my make-up bag. The winged eyeliner wasn’t a major success but I figured no one would notice in the low light and I’d taken a plunge trying on a dark red lipstick I’d been carrying around with me for months but never used. Noah had given me a low whistle as I walked past earlier which had eased my nerves about it all potentially being too much.

“Thought I’d take some inspiration from you,” I grinned, motioning at her own outfit which was, once again, absolutely fabulous.

She waved me closer still until I could lean over the barrier and see what she was doing. “Want to see what makes the show really, really good?”

I nodded, eager to find out more after she’d bombarded me with a phletora of information last time. It turned out, listening to her explain her craft while the venue was blissfully empty and quiet apart from a few shouts here and there and the band arguing about something on stage was much easier and more enjoyable. By the end of her little presentation, I was pretty sure I was loving this just as much as she did.

“So what about you, you work on this tour too, right? With Oli?”

“Official title is personal assistant, but I think mainly he just likes to see me running around for his amusement.”

“Is that something you enjoy?” Becky looked a little thoughtful.

“I mean, I love being on tour. It’s one of my favourite things in the world. I get so restless when I’m just at home for too long. But… it’s barely sustainable at the moment.” I couldn’t tell why I was being so honest. There was simply something in her face that made you want to confide in her, tell her all about yourself, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, overall, or not, but I didn’t stop myself. In all honestly, it felt good to say it out loud. “I’ve been doing odd jobs on tour for the past… ten years now. Little unqualified jobs in between when I can’t get away. But it’s not really going anywhere.”

“What kind of jobs do you do on tour?” The fact that she posed follow-up questions simply had me word-vomiting a little more.

“Assisting, mainly. I’ve done some merch in the past, too. Worked as a stagehand sometimes. But, you know, nothing qualified. Nothing that pays all that well. I thought I’d move up from assisting tour manager to the actual tour manager at some point, but it’s not really happening. There’s always someone else first, someone with more experience or a degree or a better friend to someone in charge. So yeah, approaching the big 30 with no plan!”

There was a moment of silence between us.

“Oh god, sorry, I’ve just dumped all of this on you and we barely know each other.”

But Becky’s smile reassured me immediately. “I don’t mind at all. I’ve been in your situation, when I was younger. Took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. But if you-”

Our conversation was abruptly cut short by another sound tech who desperately needed her help with one thing or other. I turned back toward the stage, watching the guys do what they loved, following their passion, honing their talents, and I wondered if I’d find that place for myself, too.

Then Oli waved, enthusiastically, and grabbed his crotch in the most irritating way and I laughed so hard I briefly forgot about my worries.

•••

“You know when you’re on the verge of getting ill and it’s basically a single night’s sleep that decides whether you wake up completely fine or with the plague?”

Turning toward the voice that was obviously talking to me, I found Matt, Bad Omen’s tour manager (as far as I was aware?), looking over at the band as they got ready for the show in a few minutes with a worrisome expression on his face. I immediately knew he was talking about Noah. He did seem a little worse for wear today. Was it still the jet lag? Had he caught some sort of virus? There was no way to know for sure but, like Matt said, it seemed like he was on the edge of getting better or something worse.

“He definitely needs some rest. Do you have an early bus call tomorrow?”

“It’s not too bad. It’s only a two-hour drive to Manchester.”

Both of us looked at the singer, lost in our own thoughts.

“Maybe he shouldn’t do Antivist tonight. Get an early night.”

Matt laughed a slightly hollow laugh. “If you manage to convince him, I owe you.”

I was surely going to try, I decided.

Matt disappeared right around the time Bad Omens took the stage, but I stuck around. I’d seen their set the first night, from the sound desk, but watching it from the side of the stage was entirely different. Something about being completely hidden from the view of the audience while being so close to the band itself, able to see all their little quirks and facial expressions was simply something I couldn't miss while on tour.

The band was about to transition from Artificial Suicide into Like a Villain, when I felt an arm being slung over my shoulders. I didn’t even need to fully turn to Oli to see he was in a great mood. Being with Oli could be a mixed bag, his mood unpredictable at times, darkness always looming around the corner even when he was in a good place and working hard to stay there. So when he was as ecstatic about nothing in particular, I accepted it without question.

“They’re so fucking good,” he remarked almost jumping in place with excitement at watching Bad Omens play, silently mumbling the lyrics along with Noah. “So fucking glad we took them on tour.”

“Me too,” I said. For a number of reasons. But them being an absolutely mind-blowing opener was easily one of them.

Oli moved along to the music, awkwardly pulling me with him without any particular plan to it. It shouldn’t have been surprised when his hand, arm still resting on my shoulders, accidentally brushed against my boob.

I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath my top.

He immediately halted his movements, acutely aware of what had just happened and, holding his hand slightly away from my body, just to make sure.

“Sorry, love.”

“It’s okay.”

He looked at me for the length of a heartbeat.

“Is that an ‘it’s okay’ as in you forgive me or as in ‘I don’t mind’?”

We both knew what I was going to say before I did.

“I don’t mind.”

When given explicit permission, Oli wasn’t shy. Turning back toward the stage, he seemed every bit the innocent onlooker, simply preoccupied with the live music currently being played, but his hands gave him away. Manoeuvring me to stand at a slightly different angle, he seemed to make sure that neither the audience nor anyone walking past backstage would see, before moving his hand back to where it had been before, only with a clearer intent this time around.

His hand deftly grabbed onto my boob, making me gasp quietly at the surprise, cupping the flesh, feeling along the edges.

“No bra?” he whispered in my ear, which alone would have been enough to make the hairs on my whole body stand up. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, the feeling of his hand on me in such an intimate place with barely any fabric in between much too intense.

Changing his approach with the information that was now available to him, Oli let his fingers trail over me, softly, but finding my hardening nipple easily. He chuckled, amused, as he started flicking it, then rubbing against it softly. I was fighting a loosing battle trying to keep quiet. The fire in my belly was igniting, my back was arching ever so slightly, pushing myself into his grasp a little more. He replied by subjecting me to even more excruciating treatment. When he pinched my nipple between his fingers, my knees actually buckled. I couldn’t hold back the moan, either.

“Sensitive, doll? Very interesting.”

Just like that, he had removed his arm, stepping away from me and leaving me craving his touch. I wanted to be angry, stern at him for putting me in such a position in such a public place but I was sure that when I looked at him, all he could see was lust and silent begging for more.

“Well, this was nice,” he concluded, smiling at me as if nothing at all had just happened, “but I gotta get ready for the show.”

I was left dumbstruck, almost unable to believe he would play me like that, but as I watched him walk away I decided this game was not over.

•••

Convincing Noah to sit out on Antivist for one night and getting him back to the hotel early so he could rest was surprisingly easy. He had successfully given his all to their set, pulling through without letting anyone see how much he was struggling, but the second he stepped off stage, all energy seemed to drop off him, leaving him tired and exhausted. I made short work of getting him out of the arena and into a cab back to the hotel. The rest of the band was staying, they had decided, opting to watch Bring Me and giving Noah some space and quiet.

I allowed him to rest his head on my shoulder in the backseat, softly playing with his hair, watching how he almost fell asleep right then and there. I felt bad for shaking him out of his falling-asleep phase, but I wasn’t going to get him up into his room on my own. Somehow, with my arm around his waist as if it could be any help, we made it through the lobby, up the lift and into the room. He was halfway to the bed, quite obviously ready to simply fall into it, still in his stage clothes, when I stopped him.

“Come on, you can’t sleep like this.”

“Help me out?” Noah asked, so softly and innocently that, even though he was towering over me and could probably bench press me if he tried, I couldn’t help but melt.

Moving his top up, he just about managed to lift his arms as I struggled to get it off him, almost debating climbing onto the bed just for the height advantage, but we made it work. I ignored the way I had to desperately keep my hands to myself, not allowing myself to let my eyes roam over his skin, explore everything I’d been so curious about. Now simply wasn’t the time.

His trousers came down easily and I busied myself with taking off his shoes, getting everything that could possibly be uncomfortable off him and then turning away to chuck his clothes somewhere near his suitcase. I thanked the heavens that he had made it underneath the blanket by the time I faced him again.

Walking over to the bed, I kneeled down next to it, right where his head was, petting his hair once again as he settled, eyes already closing. He was insanely beautiful, I thought. My heart was doing double time just from looking at him. The intensity scared me a little. I leaned forward, aiming to place a kiss into his hair where my lipstick wouldn't leave a mark, completely taken by my feelings.

“You shouldn't get so close to me.”

I pulled back immediately, surprised by his remark. My hand was awkwardly lingering in the air as I tried to understand what was happening.

“No,” he immediately whined, grabbing onto my wrist and putting my hand back on his face where I carefully brushed his cheek. “Not like that. I meant… on an emotional level.”

I tried to hide the lump in my throat, thankful that his eyes had closed fully by now. “Why?”

“Gonna go wrong,” he mumbled, sleep starting to claim him. “Like always.”

My heart broke a little for him. I'd listened to his songs. I knew what he wrote about. Yet, somehow, when it was so personal, his pain hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn't managed to see so far how deep it went for him. How making out in backstage rooms could be fine. How being sweet and caring could be too much. And yet, it was so glaringly obvious that he craved it.

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” I whispered, but he was already fast asleep, chest moving with his calm breathing, a peaceful look on his face despite it all.

I didn’t stop myself from pressing a kiss into his hair before tucking him in a little more, turning the lights off and leaving the room.

•••

I made it back to the arena in record time, catching Bring Me The Horizon waiting to go on stage just before the intro was starting. Oli was getting warmed up, jumping around to prepare himself for the show, but apparently our little meeting earlier hadn’t passed him by unaffected. His stage outfit was always on point - just as his trousers always seemed a little… well, tight, in spaces. Tonight, it seemed to be a little worse than usual.

It was my chance to even the score.

For a moment, I lingered, not hiding the way I was staring at his crotch. It didn’t take long for him to notice, stopping his movements. I let my gaze wander up his body, smirking at him before I, quite obnoxiously, bit my lip and raised my eyebrows, then looking back down. It summoned him immediately.

“Stop that,” he growled. The fact that he was so very much not amused just made this better. He’d been teasing me for days now. It was time for payback.

“Why? It’s pretty… hard to look away, you know.”

My hands reached out, almost managing to touch the belt, but he was quicker, wrapping his fingers around my wrists and holding them tightly. I relished the way it caused a shiver to run through me. I had always enjoyed a dominant man. Almost as much as I enjoyed being a brat in return.

“It’s not exactly helping, love.”

“Does it bother you?” I asked, sounding as innocent as I possibly could, fluttering my eyelashes at him, struggling a little against his restraints. “Knowing that I’m looking at it? Knowing that it turns me on?”

The intro was starting in the background. Oli was getting a little more restless, knowing he didn’t have much time.

“Knowing that I want to touch it?�� I once again tried to reach for him, but he held me at bay. “That I want to see what it really looks like?”

He pushed me backward, not caring that I collided slightly with a few boxes, staring me down as if it did anything to me but turn me on more.

“You’re a fucking menace and-”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as a stagehand put his hand on his shoulder, informing him of his cue. Oli shot me one more look, angry but obviously affected, before removing his grip on my wrists and taking his place, ready to get the show started.

And what a show he was giving. The good mood returned quite easily, the audience was giving back generously, and I figured that the fact that I had riled him up so much wasn’t hurting the performance either. Yet, the problem in his pants persisted and every time he happened to walk in my direction, I was shot an accusatory look, which I only replied to via my hand casually wandering over my chest, brushing against my own breast, just to make it a little worse.

It worked like a charm.

Bring Me barely managed to finish AmEN! when a problem in the crowd became apparent. Oli made quick work of stopping the show, instructing security, telling the crowd to back away a little, to take care of each other, to get some water. An executive decision was made to give everyone a breather, let the audience calm down as the band left the stage. Everyone gathered in the space, huddling together and waiting for a sign to let the show continue, but Oli rushed past everyone.

“Gonna go piss,” he announced before disappearing into the labyrinth of corridors backstage.

I didn’t care if anyone noticed me following him. The loo break was such an obvious lie, I wasn’t surprised in the least when he bolted past the toilets and instead headed straight for his dressing room, banging the door shut behind him. Crossing the rest of the corridor, I silently opened it again, taking care not to let him hear as it closed behind me.

Oli wasn’t in the main room. But there were noises from the adjacent bathroom. Noises that I’d never thought I’d get the chance to hear in person.

He was stood in the walk-in shower, his back to the door, one hand resting on the tiled wall in front of him, head hung low, but even from his angle I could see it. His belt was undone. His fly, too. His trousers opened just enough, the underwear pushed down just a little. His hand on his dick.

Ignoring the way my heart threatened to burst out of my chest, I walked around him, squeezing myself between his body and the wall.

He looked divine. Face red, panting, his whole body tensed up under the pressure of getting some quick relief before he had to go back on stage. Even his cock was fucking beautiful. Hard and thick, a stark contrast to the colourful tattoos all around it. He was already leaking, just a little bit, as his hand continued its motion, even when I slid down the wall and got on my knees.

“Aubrey, fuck, what are you doing, I don't have time for this.”

“I know,” I whisper back, still in awe at the sight in front of me, at eye-level now. I felt like I could almost smell it, was so close to touching it. He didn't slow down his movements for a single moment. But we didn't have time to get into the finer things of this situation. “I'm helping you.”

Looking up at him, making sure his eyes were entirely on me, I started unbuttoning my top, slowly revealing more and more cleavage.

“You can finish here, if you want.”

I knew I didn't sound half as innocent as I meant to, but it didn't matter. He groaned so beautifully, I knew I had made the right call. His hand was moving even faster now, desperately chasing his release, towering over me with that raw energy. I wanted to be part of it when he let it run wild.

My top was almost entirely unbuttoned, the curve of my tits on display, heaving roughly with my own quickened breath. I played with the fabric, abandoning the plan of opening the top up all the way and instead moved it so that my nipple peeked out, allowing me to play with it a little, just to give him more of a show.

It proved to be enough. With the most primal noise I had ever heard Oli make - and that included his music -, he came, straight onto my chest, until there was nothing left in him. He almost slumped over. Impressively enough, his aim was immaculate. No traces on my clothes. I let him rest for a moment, not doing anything but indulging in getting to watch him in this state.

“You're a fucking menace,” he repeated with a sigh, still mad, but there was less bite behind it. I didn't reply. I simply watched as he tucked himself back in, fixed his outfit and stood back up properly. Without giving me any more attention, he turned around to walk out of the room. Only, predictably, he couldn't stop himself from looking back one more time. I made sure it was the exact moment I scooped up some of what he had left behind on my skin and licked it up.

The game wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

#Noah Sebastian fic #Noah Sebastian #Oli Sykes fic #Oli Sykes #Noah Sebastian x reader #Oli Sykes x reader #in love with the mess

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highpriestessarchives · 1 month

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A Philosophy Behind Writer's Block: Valuing Despair

Unfortunately, it happened again where I went a little over a month without writing anything I was happy with. I would attempt to get some words down, remembering that even a little bit is progress; but, no matter what I did, everything just felt so dry and dull. Not only that, my stories felt like they were boring or just not worth it anymore. It was awful.

I tried everything that normally helped with getting over writer’s block. I’d try out different times to write, read other books for inspiration, focus on another hobby—still, it all felt like I was banging on a brick wall. That’s when I turned to my philosophy studies, as if there was some sort of deeper consciousness of an answer that would aid my issues.

Well, there was. The infamous Kierkegaardian Despair.

The Sickness unto Death

The Sickness unto Death is a book written by Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard in 1849 under the pseudonym Anti-Climacus. A work of Christian existentialism, the book is about Kierkegaard’s concept of despair, which he equates with the Christian concept of sin, which he terms “the sin of despair.”

In Kierkegaard's work, despair arises from a fundamental disconnection from one’s true self and from God. He distinguishes between different forms of despair, including the despair of having a self and the despair of not wanting to be oneself.

Now, take what you will from the Christian existentialism part (I’m pagan, so I already had mixed opinions on many classic texts on God), but it doesn’t erase how the concept of despair can shed light on the underlying struggles that writers—at least, myself—may face.

It’s Never Just a Phase

Writer’s block can be seen as a manifestation of existential despair in which we feel disconnected from our creative essence or authentic self. This disconnection may stem from various sources, such as self-doubt, fear of failure, or a sense of alienation from one’s creative impulses. We may experience a profound sense of emptiness or meaninglessness, unable to access the inspiration and clarity needed to write.

Moreover, Kierkegaard’s notion of despair as a failure to align with one’s true self suggests that writer’s block may arise when our creative endeavors are driven by external motives or expectations rather than genuine inner inspiration. The pressure to produce work that meets societal standards or fulfills commercial demands can lead to a sense of existential disorientation and paralysis.

Don’t Just Overcome it. Value it.

If you resonate with Kierkegaard’s work, you will agree with his observation that we are always going to despair over something. It’s not about waiting for the tide to roll over or for the dry spell to ease up, but to examine our own self’s relation to what we are lamenting over. He writes:

“Despair is an aspect of the spirit, it has to do with the eternal in a person. But the eternal is something he cannot be rid of, not in all eternity… If there were nothing eternal in a man, he would simply be unable to despair… Having a self, being a self, is the greatest, the infinite, concession that has been made to man, but also eternity’s claim on him.”

Let’s break down the quote and explore how it can inform our approach to overcoming writer’s block:

Despair as an Aspect of the Spirit: Kierkegaard suggests that despair is not merely a psychological state but an aspect of the spirit, rooted in the eternal dimension of human existence. Kierkegaard’s conception of despair invites us to recognize the creative process as a site of existential tension and struggle.

Writer’s block is not merely a technical or practical obstacle to be overcome but a profound existential challenge that confronts us with the limitations of our finite selves and the aspirations of their creative spirit.

The Eternal in a Person: Kierkegaard asserts that despair is linked to the eternal within individuals, suggesting that it arises from a tension between the finite and the infinite aspects of human nature. The finite aspects encompass the temporal, material, and contingent dimensions of life, while the infinite aspects involve the eternal, transcendent, and spiritual dimensions. This tension is inherent in human consciousness and manifests in various forms of despair, such as the despair of weakness, the despair of defiance, and the despair of not willing to be oneself.

This tension between the finite and the infinite can be understood as the conflict between the limitations of our creative faculties and the boundless possibilities of imagination and expression. Writer’s block often emerges when the writer feels constrained by external pressures, self-doubt, or perfectionism, inhibiting their ability to access the infinite reservoir of creative inspiration within them.

Moreover, Kierkegaard’s concept of the finite and the infinite highlights the paradoxical nature of creativity. While the creative process involves the manipulation of finite materials—words, images, sounds—it also taps into something transcendent and ineffable, something that exceeds the boundaries of ordinary experience. Writer’s block can be seen as a manifestation of our struggle to bridge this gap between the finite and the infinite, to give form to the formless, and to articulate the inarticulable.

Having a Self as Eternity’s Claim: In Kierkegaard’s philosophy, the concept of “having a self” refers to the capacity for self-consciousness, self-reflection, and moral agency that distinguishes human beings from other creatures. It involves the awareness of one’s own existence as a distinct individual with thoughts, feelings, desires, and responsibilities. “Eternity’s claim” suggests that the existence of the self is not merely a temporal or transient phenomenon but is imbued with profound significance that extends beyond the confines of earthly life. The self, according to Kierkegaard, is intimately connected to the eternal dimension of human existence, reflecting the divine spark within each individual.

“Having a self as eternity’s claim” suggests that the act of creative expression is not merely a personal endeavor but is also a manifestation of the eternal striving for meaning and significance. Writers, as self-aware and self-conscious beings, bear a profound responsibility to give voice to their innermost thoughts and feelings, to explore the depths of human experience, and to contribute to the ongoing dialogue of humanity.

Embracing Existential Depth

So how do we value despair and overcome writer’s block in light of Kierkegaard’s insights? Writer’s block often extends beyond mere technical or practical challenges and can be rooted in deeper existential concerns. This involves grappling with questions of identity, purpose, and meaning in the creative process. By recognizing writer’s block as a reflection of these existential concerns, we can approach it as an opportunity for self-exploration and growth. Rather than viewing it solely as a barrier to productivity, we can use writer’s block as a catalyst for deeper introspection and self-discovery. This might involve journaling, meditation, or engaging in conversations with fellow writers or mentors to uncover underlying psychological or philosophical issues that may be contributing to the blockage. I have previously posted a blog on writing soliloquies. Embracing existential depth allows us to transform our struggles into sources of insight and inspiration, ultimately enriching our creative work.

There is a large aspect of accepting what you cannot control, another widely-known philosophical concept. Swimming against the current, after all, may prove to be more tiring than it’s worth. Instead, be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion during these moments. Understand that experiencing creative struggles is a normal part of the writing process and treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.

Seek social support. Reach out to fellow writers, friends, or mentors for support and encouragement. Sharing your struggles with others can help you gain perspective and feel less isolated in your creative journey, because, trust me, we have all been there.

Ensure that you are also setting realistic goals. All I would want to do was upkeep my 3k word/day momentum, but I would feel even worse about myself for being unable to do so. Break down your writing goals into smaller, more manageable tasks and set realistic deadlines for yourself. Celebrate small victories along the way to maintain motivation.

Finally, what has helped me the most, is to read widely. Immersing myself in diverse genres, styles, and voices provided so much insight into what I could be missing in my own work; or, it simply sparked my love of story-telling all over again.

Closing Words

Remember that writer’s block is a temporary obstacle that can be overcome with patience, persistence, and, apparently, a bit of philosophy. Where there is frustration, we will find insight.

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lost-in-lamentation · 6 months

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💌💋 - love letter, first kiss.

satan × gen!reader. fluff.

warnings: very brief angry satan.

content: you've accidentally read satan's unfinished love letter to you.

back to the 500 follower event: here.

the sound of a bell rang distantly in your ears. you looked up from your notes with a frown, locking eyes with satan as he cast you a confused look. “MC, don’t you have devildom law in your last block?”

“ah, the study block is done already?” you flipped your d.d.d. over, taking a look at the time. “this class is going to kill me. the more he talks, the less i feel like i know,” you sighed. hastily, you gathered your papers from the table, sliding them into your folder. “pass me my textbook?”

satan leaned forward in his chair, gathering the textbook and the papers underneath it before placing them in your hands. “that teacher was always difficult,” the blond mused while he leaned back again. “if you need help with that class, just ask me. i’ll help you through it.”

your eyes lit up at the idea. “yes please.” satan didn’t expect you to say yes so easily; his eyes flickered with surprise and the tips of his ears turned pink at your eagerness. “you don’t have class this period, right? will you just stay here?”

“most likely. this library is always more peaceful than the study at home.”

“then, can i come back here and meet you after my class?” satan replied with a nod and a dismissive wave, shooing you away before you ended up late for law class.

you barely made it in time, sprinting up to the doorway just as the second bell echoed through the halls. exhaling in relief, you plopped down into your chair and settled your bag at your feet. however, your relief was short-lived. the teacher had begun handing out a surprise test, much to your dismay. but another part of you was glad you didn’t have to listen to another lecture today. by the time you finished your test, more than half of class time had passed. with nothing else to do other than watch the clock tick by, you pulled your notes out of your bag, deciding to double check that your answers for the test would suffice.

when you opened your textbook, an unfamiliar piece of paper fluttered down to the floor. you blinked at it, confused. quietly, you shifted your chair backwards just enough to reach under the desk, swiping it off the ground before straightening back up. with a curious gaze, you unfolded it, the mysterious content revealing itself to you.

My dearest MC. My dearest, MC.

I’ve spent a long time thinking about how I might tell you these things. I considered over a phone call first, thinking that my voice would get my intentions across. But then it occurred to me that if I wanted you to hear my voice, then I should tell you in person. And I realised further that I might not be brave enough to tell you these things face to face just yet. So, I thought maybe just texting you would be the way to go. It was my main plan for some time, until I saw a character in Levi’s anime reject a confession through text because it wasn’t “genuine”. I ended up stumped. At least, until I came across the idea of a love letter in a novel of mine. And so, I’m writing this love letter to you in the hopes that you’ll accept it; accept me. Ever since you’ve come to the Devildom, you’ve taught me more than any teacher, any novel or any tome ever could. Not only have you taught me practical skills, but you’ve also taught me so much emotionally, and that means more to me than anything. For anyone to brave me, the embodiment of wrath, it felt impossible. But you came in, albeit not as quietly as I would have expected a normal human to come in, and tore down the walls I hid myself in. MC, were it not for you, my relationship with my brothers would have taken much longer to improve. I am still learning how to deal with them, and how to deal with my anger, but you taught me that I am more than my anger, and that I am more than the creature that split from Lucifer. First and foremost, I need to say thank you. For being the human that you are. Though you can be chaotic, reckless, and a bit overwhelming at times, I cannot imagine a life without you in it. You’ve weaved yourself a place with me; with everyone. And now that I’ve had you for so long, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go. MC, there are a lot more things I’d like to say. But considering what kind of a letter this is, I have to at least say it once. I

the unsigned letter cut off abruptly. at some point, tears had pooled at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over onto the paper, where a name should have been left. it was no mystery as to who wrote the letter; he had most likely slid it into your textbook by accident while he was trying to help you collect your papers. suddenly, the bell rang loudly, signalling the end of class. you wiped your tears away with the back of your hand, throwing all your belongings into your bag and keeping only the letter in hand as you dashed down the hallways. halfway to the library, you saw satan peering into an empty classroom, expression rather frantic for someone who didn’t have any classes left for the day.

“satan!” you called out to him, sliding to a stop just in front of him.

“MC?” the demon shifted to face you. panic was etched into his gaze, and he had to take a quick breath to calm himself before speaking again. “i’m just looking for something right now, i can meet you in the library after i’ve-”

“is it this?” the letter swayed as you held it out to him, the words clearly visible in it’s unfolded state.

satan acted fast, tearing it from your grasp as his expression changed into something that looked like fear. “where did you get this?” his voice was low, question sounding more like a demand.

“it was in my textbook,” you said as you struggled to catch your breath. “i think you might have put it in there by accident when you were helping me pack up earlier-”

the avatar of wrath turned away from you. “go home,” he snapped, crumpling the letter into a ball.

you took a careful step towards him. “what?”

“i said, go home.” satan trembled ever so slightly, his knuckles white as he dug his nails into his palms. “forget what you read, and don’t ever bring it up to me.”

“wait a minute, let’s talk about this.” you pleaded gently, but satan was stubborn.

without warning, his horns manifested from his head, and his tail became known as it whipped against the floor with a loud crack. “i’ve already embarrassed myself enough by letting you read something that was never supposed to be read by you. i don’t need you to reject me along with it.” he glared at you from over his shoulder, eyes glinting with anger, fear, and for a split second, sorrow. “get out of my sight.”

“would you just-!” satan began stalking away, but you refused to let this, or him, go. you lunged forward, your hand catching his wrist just before he got too far. satan attempted to pull his arm free, jerking it towards himself, but you held strong. you stumbled towards him, causing you to use his body as a pillow instead of smashing directly into the wall. “just listen to me!” you shouted now, glad that hallways were vacated of students at this time of day.

“why should i?!” his voice continued to grow louder as he took a step backwards.

“because i’m not going to reject you!” finally, satan held his tongue. his eyes flashed with doubt, but for a fraction of a second, there was hope as well. “satan,” you breathed his name softly, loosening your grip on his wrist. slowly, you slid your hand down, wrapping your fingers around his. “i really, really liked what you wrote.” you watched as his stare fell to your joined hands. “i wanted to ask about the letter because it wasn’t finished. i…” heat rushed to your cheeks now that you were realising what kind of conversation this was becoming. at some point, your heart had jumped up into your throat, beating so loud that you wondered if satan could hear it. “i want to know how the letter ends.”

the storm that raged in his gaze steadily calmed, clearing into the sea of emerald that you knew so well. “you do?” for once, satan spoke meekly. wrath was gone, replaced instead with a demon who had yet to find his place in this world.

“i do.” little by little, your free hand inched up to his face, hovering just below his chin. when satan made no move to push you away, you took the leap, cupping his jaw and brushing your thumb over his cheek. “how does the letter end?”

satan made a choked sound. the way you treated him so gently was something he could never have imagined for himself. for someone like him, love was just a construct; it was an idea, meant to never fully appear in his lifetime. but here you were anyway, waiting to hear those three words that satan thought he would never get to say. “it ends with…” satan stopped to see your reaction, trying to make sure you weren’t doing this just to get him to calm down. but you remained steadfast, waiting until he was ready. “i love you.” the words tumbled out, the simple phrase stirring a barrage of emotions inside his already troubled soul.

“you know, if i wrote a letter to you, i’d end my letter with the same thing.”

“you would?”

“i would.”

satan stepped closer to you, his face close enough to yours that his breath fanned across your cheeks. he released a shaky breath, fingers tightening around you as he tried to process everything he was feeling.

“satan?” he didn’t say anything in return. instead, he cast you an expectant look; one made up of both fear and wonder. “i love you too.”

the tears fell silently, cascading down his cheeks and onto your hands. tenderly, you pulled his face even closer, smiling at him as you placed a kiss just below his eye. satan shuddered at the action, but he refused to move away. you did the same on the other side of his face, catching his teardrops before they fell to the floor. and when they stopped appearing, you leaned towards him again, lips slotting over his.

satan all but melted into you, affection as strong as his wrath beginning to sweep through him. your lips against his felt both like a tidal wave and an undisturbed lake. your love felt unconditional, unending. and although the situation was a bit chaotic, reckless, and just a bit overwhelming, satan wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

a/n: pls someone get the reference in the love letter pls pls

reblogs are really appreciated (´ω｀) ♡

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me satan #obey me satan x you #obey me satan x reader #obey me satan x mc #satan x mc #satan x you #satan x reader #obey me fluff #aris writes 🐈‍⬛#aris hits 500 🐈‍⬛

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potchi-fics · 5 months

Text

Sundo | part two of 8 ball

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

sundô. imagine being so tired from studying, from using your brain so much that you just feel like collapsing. but you remember that at the end of the day, someone's waiting-- waiting for you. a simple gesture yet it makes you feel so many things all at once: happiness, excitement, comfort... and wonder.

NOTE: sundo means to fetch someone from somewhere.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Y/n leans back on the chair she has been sitting on for hours now. she checks her phone and she sees that it's 5:59 pm. she got too busy with academic work, she always wants to finish her projects as soon as possible because she doesn't like procrastinating.

she sighs through her nose, holding the bridge of her nose, she's so tired. even her ears hurt from the hours of wearing her headphones.

and of course, her friends are studying alongside with her... but they all fell asleep. thankfully, though, they got their work done.

"wake up," she gently shakes Aiki, who whined and shooed her away. she moved on to Monika who woke up with just a nudge. "Noze, it's almost time to go home."

"god," Noze cracks her back, "my whole body hurts. good thing we don't have any classes for two days."

"you're goddamn right about that. somebody wake Aiki up." Monika groans out in defeat.

Y/n tries again, "Aiks, c'mon, it's time to go home."

the three struggled to contain their laughter once they see Aiki's state: drool all over her cheek and table, and the thousand-yard stare.

"aw gross, wipe your face, Aiks." Noze hands her wet wipes.

Y/n struggled even more when Monika showed her the picture she took of Aiki when she woke her up. she looks like a toddler who just woke up.

"is it time to go home? what time is it?" Aiki groggily asks.

she was about to tell her when something caught her eye; a text message from Bada. it read:

"what time's ur dismissal?"

it was sent four minutes ago. she texts back:

"6:30, whyy?"

she didn't get to put down her phone because it buzzed. it's a reply from her:

"i'll come and fetch u. where r u?"

Y/n's weirdly excited about this? and also a tiny bit nervous? nevertheless, she replied:

"library with my friendsss."

and she waits. she can't even stay still, and the other notice it.

"jesus, can you stop with the pen clicking?" Monika complains.

Y/n mutters out a soft sorry.

Noze looks at her with a funny expression, "who were you texting?"

a beat passes before she says Bada's name.

the trio have their what-the-hell faces on. before she could defend herself, they already started teasing her relentlessly; saying things like she's excited to see Bada, or that they were gonna go on a date.

"guys," she starts, "it's not a date and why would i be nervous? it's Bada." she rolls her eyes. "i could squeeze that punk easily."

but she is nervous. she doesn't know why. is it because of what happened at that billiards place? why did she even do that in the first place.

time seems to really pass by because six-thirty comes and they start tidying their place. making silent conversation. they come out of the library and see someone squatted down.

it's her.

Y/n thinks-- god, she's so handsome and pretty, she's not even doing anything. she malfunctions because she did not just think that? that is so not Y/n coded of her, she adds.

her friend's loud voice caught their attention, "hey, Bada!"

"yo," Bada stands up, looking at Y/n. "are you guys done? can i steal her away from you now?"

Y/n could only roll her eyes, "what do you mean by steal me away? as if i would let myself be taken."

"so grumpy," Bada tease, "careful now, you look like that one angry bird."

"well, in that case, i'm a pretty angry bird." she retaliates.

her enemy pats her head, "sure, sure.. let's go. bye guys!"

the trio shakes their head, even walking, the two seems to fight. they witness how Bada tries to carry Y/n's things but she wouldn't let her. however, eventually, Y/n gives in and gives Bada her things.

bada opens her car door for Y/n, receiving a soft thank you from the girl. she puts the things in the backseat and finally enters the drivers seat.

"you hungry?" she asks.

Y/n nods, too tired to talk. she closes her eyes and feel the car start up, she assumes that Bada knows a place.

during the car ride, comfortable silence envelops the pair. it continues that way not until she feels a hand on her thigh. Y/n opens her eyes and her gaze fell on the hand that is on her thigh.

Bada couldn't resist-- she caresses her thigh, rubbing circles on it, even slightly moving it up. she notices that the girl's breath is uneven. she thinks about removing it when a hand stops her.

the tension, even before what happened at the pool table, got so much thicker. it's so thick that they feel like suffocating.

sadly, they arrive at the place they're gonna eat at.

"c'mon, we're here." Bada parks the car.

they both thought the same thing: pussy blocker.

they go in the restaurant and order, wherein Bada insists that she treats her. of course, Y/n tries to pay for her own food but Bada is stubborn gal.

they take a sit once they get their order and start eating. surprisingly, their conversation is easy-going.

"so, what made you fetch me today? missed me that much?" Y/n asks with her mouth full of food.

Bada chuckles at the cute sight, "you're delusional. i just wanted to annoy you."

"oh, trust me," she answers in a grumble, "you're annoying me so much."

"is that why we're enemies?" Bada cackles out. "'cus i'm annoying? you didn't find me annoying back in middle school, though."

yes. they're childhood friends- err, childhood enemies. they're one of those typical rivals where they grew up together. they just haven't told anyone, but not because they don't want to, but because it wasn't just brought up until now.

she pouts out, "i wouldn't say enemies.. but yeah."

a loud laughs emits from the person in front of her again, can't believe the reason.

"stop laughing," Y/n gigges, "it's not funny. i'm just glad i don't have any classes, i'm so tired. and hungry."

Bada watches her with a smile, even though the girl in front of her is stuffing her face with food-- Bada still thinks that she's beautiful.

"stop ogling at me, i know i'm pretty and all," she flutters her eyelashes at her, "are you falling in love with me?"

"you sound so stupid." this time, it was Bada's turn to roll her eyes. "say, you wanna come over to my house after this?"

Y/n makes a playful shock face, "oh my? and you say you're not falling in love with me? but yes."

Bada feels like she's on cloud nine. what is wrong with her?

they finish their meal and she checks the time. it's seven-forty. they exit the place and Y/n complains about being so bloated now. to which Bada teased her by saying that she's always bloated.

banter ensues, even all the way to Bada's house, they're still bickering like children.

time check: eight-twenty-three.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

should i make the next part smut? or continue with fluff

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

#imagines #oneshots #writing #bada lee #bada x reader #fanfic #female reader #fiction #swf 2 #swf2 x reader #street woman fighter 2 #bada lee x reader #lee bada #team bebe #street woman fighter x reader

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