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watermelonlovershigh · 22 hours

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Friends Who Share Mutual Emotions {part 3.} (housemate!harry series)

Arguments and Confessions {part 2.} (housemate!harry series)

AN: i've been in a writing mood lately so i hope you enjoy me spitting out these stories left and right lol. anyways, here is part 3 to my housemate series. before you ask, yes there will be a part 4 and hopefully a couple more after that. let me know how you liked it and make sure to leave your feedback. thank you and enjoy!

This story contains: mentions of one-night stands, confessions of feelings, slight angst, fluff

{ housemate!harry - friendrry - soft!harry - au harry }

word count- 1,372

Harry confesses that you're the women he likes and after giving you some time to think, you have an eventful conversation about your mutual feelings and how you'd like to move forward within your friendship.

Looking deeply in your eyes, Harry answers clearly, "Her name..... her name is Y/n." The weight of his confession leaves you standing in the kitchen, completely shocked. When you initially asked him about his love interest, you never anticipated that he would reveal his feelings for you. Although he described some of your qualities, you didn't think much of it, as many people can possess similar traits.

Realizing that you need some time to process his words, Harry rises from his stool and states, "I don't expect you to feel the same way about me or anything. I'll give you some space to think, alright?" With that, he turns around and retreats back to his bedroom.

Now standing alone in the kitchen, you find yourself torn about what to do. On one hand, the man who kindly allowed you to stay in his home as a housemate, who eventually became your friend, and whom you've developed feelings for, has just confessed his affection for you. It seems like the ideal outcome, but what if something goes wrong? You would risk losing your best friend and a place to live.

On the other hand, if everything goes well, you could finally experience a fulfilling relationship. You could put an end to the casual encounters and truly understand the intimacy that others have experienced in Harry's bed. You would have the opportunity to feel his touch on your skin and savor his kisses, something you had only imagined during fleeting encounters with strangers.

---------------------------

You head to Harry's bedroom and upon reaching his door, you give it a hesitant knock. A soft voice responds with, "Come in." and you take that as your signal to enter. Inside, you find him sitting up in bed with his cat Pixie beside him, and the TV showing old episodes of Friends.

Approaching his bed slowly, Harry gestures for you to sit beside him. After a deep breath, you confess, "I want you to know that I have feelings for you too, Harry. How could I not? You're kind and sweet, and anyone would be foolish not to have a crush on you. But, I'm afraid."

Harry turns off the TV to focus on you. "Afraid of what, Y/n?" he asks, "We both like each other. What's there to fear?"

"It's not that simple, Harry," you respond with a hint of frustration. Why can't he see your concerns? Maybe it's a gender difference. Men don't worry about relationships as much as women do. Well at least from your personal experiences.

"Can you explain then, please? I want to understand your fears so we can move forward in a way that works for both of us."

Shifting uncomfortably on the bed, you express, "Harry, what if things don't work out between us? What happens then? I could lose a friend and I might not have enough money to cover regular rent in London."

"Y/n, our mutual feelings don't automatically require us to rush into a romantic relationship. We can proceed at a comfortable pace, one day at a time. Even if we don't progress beyond friendship, I value our bond too much to risk losin' it. As for your concern about losin' a place to stay, rest assure that I would never evict you if things don't work out romantically. You were my housemate first and foremost, and that won't change. Well, unless you want to move out someday that is."

Hearing his words have made your eyes gloss over. You can hear the sincerity in his voice and it makes your heart swell. But, you still need some clarification to move forward. "So like, where do we go from here, Harry? I don't want to think we're one thing but you assume we're something else. I don't want to constantly be questioning where we stand. What's too much or what's not enough."

Harry adjusts his posture, leaning closer to you. He carefully reaches out for your hands and clasps them within his larger grasp, holding them gently as he begins to speak. "As I mentioned earlier, Y/n, we can take this slow. Let our connection develop naturally. At this moment, I would describe our relationship as friends, but friends who share mutual emotions. And in response to a question I know you may have, no, I will not be sleepin' with anyone else. And I don't expect..."

Anticipating his next words, you swiftly interject, "No, neither am I. I mean, being involved with someone else intimately. I can promise you that. Besides, I never truly enjoyed having one-night stands. I only sought them out as a means to conceal my feelings for you. But now that my feelings are out in the open, there's no reason to hide them any longer. From now on I only want you."

Chuckling in relief, Harry murmurs, "Just me, huh?" He was incredibly anxious that you might still have the desire to sleep with other people, even though that didn't make much sense after you had confessed your feelings for him. However, he couldn't be entirely certain.

You lean forward, wrapping your arms around Harry's body, embracing him tightly. "Of course, Harry. I would never do that to you. Besides, most of the men I slept with were unsatisfactory, so I'm perfectly fine with giving up my one-night stands."

Harry reciprocates the embrace, then teasingly asks, "Unsatisfactory? Are you tellin' me those muscular, macho men you brought home hardly ever satisfied you?"

You respond, your voice filled with affection against his neck, "That's right. And when they did, it was usually because I was thinking of you."

"Alright, let's end that conversation right here or we'll have a problem on our hands and break our 'takin' it slow' rule." Harry remarks, trying to maintain a sense of caution. If you kept talking about how you always thought of him while having sex with all those strangers, he'd get hard in his pants and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable right now. Nor does he want to move that fast. Like he said, he genuinely would like to take whatever you are, slow.

You laugh at his words and playfully say, "Can we take a nap? I'm feeling tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."

Harry nods in the embrace you still hold and replies, "Yeah, we can take a nap if you'd like. I didn't get much sleep last night either."

As you sit up, you carefully shift towards Harry's side where he's preparing a space for you to rest. "Seriously?" you inquire. Although you noticed his exhaustion when he entered the kitchen earlier, you didn't consider that it might be due to a lack of sleep.

"Yeah," Harry begins to coo while helping you under his duvet, "felt awful with how I spoke to you last night. The guilt ate me alive and I couldn't sleep."

Now laying side by side, facing each other, you whisper out, "Awe, well you can rest easy now. I forgive you." As your eyes flutter shut, Harry can't help but think about how you're too far away from him. Even though you're literally just six inches apart in reality.

So without thinking, he draws himself closer to you and wraps you in his arms. Which in turn has you pressed up against his clothed chest. "Is this alright?" Harry whispers quietly. Although he wishes to take things slowly, cuddling is typically considered a leisurely activity, isn't it? It remains innocent and platonic.

"Yes, very much alright." you reply and soon after fall asleep. The musky smell Harry produces along with the warmth of his body lulls you right to sleep. It may be only nine in the morning but with your lack of sleep the night before, have no trouble falling unconscious.

Harry also falls into a deep slumber. The comfort of having you in his arms lulls him into a state of relaxation, leading him to quickly doze off. His cat Pixie has now settled at the foot of the bed, peacefully asleep alongside you both. Harry's once anxious room is now filled with tranquility. The unfolding of your friendship will become more apparent when you wake up later today.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @allthelovehes // @damnasstyles // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet // @meetmyblondemuffins // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles // @skyangel57 // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss // @kissmyaxe140 // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom // @swiftmendeshoran

// @luv-flor7777 // @alohastyles-x // @tenaciousperfectionunknown // @sleutherclaw // @siredtohybrid // @whoscamila // @a-strange-familiar // @golden-elodie // @mrspeacem1nusone // @goldenkhae // @lntwithhrry // @shadowygladiatorlight // @manifestrry //@mendesblurb // @sunshinemoonsposts // @depersonalizationsucks // @academiaghost // @zendayassimp // @reveriehs // @vsnnstuff // @dancinsunflowerkiwi // @quinnsgrapejuice // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @justlemmeholdyou // @hsonlyangelxo // @luvonstyles // @howdey

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My Masterlist Masterpost

#harry styles #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fic rec #friend!harry #friendrry #housemate!harry #housematerry #softrry #soft!harry #harry x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #friends to lovers #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb

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uravitypng · 1 day

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tsukishima kinks?

or choso kinks?

or aizawa kinks?

(sending a few options cause i’m sure you’ve already gotten these suggestions <3)

i've already got a tsukishima one i need to write but .... choso !!! aizawa !!! oh my god!!!! i've never written anything about either of them and i am sooo ready for this♡

choso

mommy/mummy kink- choso is a switch but leans more over towards sub. choso is very whiney in bed and is someone who becomes pussydrunk very easily when he's sleeping with you. during one of these pussydrunk moments he calls you mummy. he always has had the urge but resisted, worried that you won't like it but when he said it and you held onto him even tighter, wrapping your legs around him, a strangled groan came out of his mouth and he speeds up. as he comes he calls you mummy again, "gonna cum, gonna cum! fffuck mummy."

mutual masturbation- loves watching you touch yourself and will commit every gasp, touch and movement you make to memory for if he's ever alone for the weekend without you and most importantly for future reference with you, 'so touching her there makes her moan even louder huh' 'oh that made her toes curl' 'her body's shaking so much'.

choso loves watching your body writhe and squirm as you make yourself come while he's stroking his cock with rapt attention. he's inexperienced but his confidence about how good he is in bed gets boosted while mutually masturbating when you beg for more. beg for him. "please choso, please baby, i need more. want your cock s'bad. need you to touch me."

overstimulation- you milking him multiple times in succession without stopping?? yeah he likes that. he likes when you have control over his orgasms. he simultaneously wants more and wants less. bucking his hips up to meet your touch one second and the next trying to shuffle away, overwhelmed in the best way. tears filling his waterline, fists grabbing onto the sheets tightly. "t-to much!"

"i think you can take it cho"

edging- i mentioned before that he likes you having control of his orgasms so that also involves controlling when he gets to come and how many times you will deny him. "i can't anymore baby, please let me come. i've been good!"

aizawa

bondage- uses his binding cloth during sex!! tying you up in the bedroom and then leaving you there for awhile to do something else just to keep you waiting in anticipation. aizawa ties up your whole body and will also tie up just your arms and wrists on occasions too. he loves restricting your movements and watching you struggle against the binds. "there's no use struggling, you're not getting out until i want you too and before that i'm going to make you come on my tongue again."

daddy/sir kink- aizawa has an authorisation kink in general. loves taking charge and having you call him sir and daddy (sometimes even master) he will also sometimes call you kitten in response to your names for him. "sir please let me touch you! i'll be good! just let out of these binds."

choking kink- whenever he sees your eyes roll back and your breathing becoming gasps it makes him harder than he already was. his large hands wrapped around your throat, keeping you on the edge of consciousness. "so beautiful like that kitten, keep clenching around me."

somno- it's not a surprise that this is one of his kinks is it? all consensual of course but being woken up by you during sex is the best way to wake up. he also enjoys waking you up too but prefers it when he wakes up to you, especially when you're sucking his dick. his tired gravelly voice startling you as well as he gentle but firm hand on your head guiding you up and down. "fuck sweetheart, keep going just like that." you hum around his cock, letting you know you heard him. becoming wetter at the sound of his voice.

dry humping & thigh grinding- loves you being half clothed, only having underwear on, as you desperately hump and grind on him. it's a real power trip to watch you try and orgasm without any help as you frantically and pathetically rub yourself against him while he's still fully clothed and has no intention of changing that

#these are their kinks they told me on our first dates <333 #i hope you like this ♡#♡ choso #♡ aizawa #♡ mine / writing #♡ lana's letters #choso x reader #choso smut #jjk smut #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x reader #aizawa x reader smut #bnha smut

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 2 days

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For the release of ttpd, can a girl get some sad Grayson hcs 😔✊ <3

sad grayson head canons

of course<3. i eat up sad tig hcs so i might make some for the rest of the brothers and avery (probably will). hope you like them! this one is going to be kinda dark (i like making my favorite tig characters suffer) so trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. take care of yourselves, and try to talk to someone if you can. as someone who's been through a lot of shit last year, i can promise you things, at some point, start looking up (this might be corny, but i felt the need to say it) (i may be projecting in some of these cause i love making myself see myself in my fav characters if that makes sense).

grayson used to go out (like to the park or smth) and watch all of the kids playing with each other wishing he could be like them.

sometimes he gets so self-destructive he doesn't eat or drink water. he just lies in bed wishing he could magically die.

grayson heard the prochecy, the black dog, loml, and down bad from ttpd for the first time and started sobbing uncontrollably (so many other songs but yk, im not gonna write all of them down)

when he gets in those self destructive moods, he tends to piss people off/make people sad on purpose so that they'll get made and leave him (he secretly wishes that someone can see through all of his pain and be there for him)

very dark so trigger warning (even though i gave one at the beginning. you can never be too sure), grayson used to have scars on his ribs bc he would hurt himself. he never cut deep enough for it to actually scar permanently bc he 'has an image to uphold' according to tobias.

although swimming is a coping mechanism, it's also a form of self-harm for him sometimes. he swims until he can't feel his legs anymore, and sticks his head underwater for extended periods of time until he feels like he's about to drown.

i actually saw this in a conan gray interview, but he used to cross the street without looking left and right hoping a car would hit him.

he hears emily's voice in his head more often than he lets on. whenever he hears her voice, he'll press his nails so hard into his palms, they start to bleed.

he somehow managed to get his hands on some anti-depressant behind tobias' back and started taking them, but, sometimes, when he was especially suicidal, he would try to overdose on the pills. it never worked.

he's convinced himself that he deserves the pain he causes himself/the people cause him.

tobias knew about his unhealthy coping mechanisms but didn't do shit to help him bc didn't want him to 'soften up' making grayson think his grandfather thought he deserved the pain.

grayson will purposely make himself stay awake for days on end bc he doesn't think he deserves to get sleep sometimes (he needs to work. in his head, everything will go to shit if he doesn't)

sometimes he'll go swing on this swing they have in blackwood forest to feel like a kid again (it sometimes works)

he has this stuffed teddy bear nash gave him when he was a baby that he sometimes sleeps with when he feels alone (even though he'd grown now).

this one is extremely dark, probably the darkest one yet so tw for suicide attempt(ish its not really one).......... at the age of fifteen, he actually bought pills to overdose on and set a date (the 14th of may (really random)). he was going to off himself that day but didn't end up doing it bc his brothers dragged him out to play chess (idk, anything works). he said he'd do it some other day but never go to it. every year, on that day, he celebrates not offing himself bc he wouldn't have met the people he met and wouldn't have gotten to feel the happiness he now feels if he had.

he's convinced himself he isn't worthy of love (this one also applies to jamie, a lot of these actually do in my opinion, they're quite similar when you think about it. probably will make a post about this)

when he was a baby, he'd imagine his stuffed teddy was actually his mom when he felt the need to be held by a parental figure. it almost never worked, but he would always try again hoping it would magically start working.

he has panic attacks on a regular basis. ones where he starts pulling at his hair and stuff. he thinks he's going crazy after these, but avery reassures him he isn't (or nash, but i like the idea of avery being there for him as a friend/sister figure)

when he was younger, he used to ask people if they wanted to come to his house and play with him. they said yes but only bc he was rich. the second they'd step foot into his house, they'd leave him and start exploring.

this sort of goes with the hc i made that he denies himself food and stuff, but, when he gets cold at night and wants to lower the temperature, he'll force himself to stay in bed and take the blankets off to let himself suffer.

he secretly wishes people weren't so scared of him bc then he might have friends.

sometimes, he starts feeling so numb with everything he goes back to the cliff where emily died just to feel smth.

he's such a perfectionist he would cry whenever he got lower than a 90% at school.

it might not look like it, but he really cares about people's opinions of him and will do everything in his power to 'fix' what these people think is wrong with him.

whenever he gets mad at the world or at himself, he'll go to one of those places where you smash and break everything. when he's done, he makes himself sit in the mess and look at all of the destruction he caused (he sees this as him destroying everything in his life (like his relationships, etc))

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy grayson hc :)

when he was younger and wanted smth, he would jump with his hands clasped together begging for it with the cutest puppy eyes ever (i find this one really adorable and can literally picture it in my head).

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, there are resources you can use if you ever need help. if you can, try to get a therapist, and, if you can't, talk to a friend/family member or call a helpline. things can get better. sending everyone lots of love.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne

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on-leatheredwings · 4 hours

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It's not a request, just wanna know your thoughts about yandere masochist Tim?

•́ ‿ ,•̀

> romantic 18+ > twcw: bdsm, yandere-typical behaviors, can be read as dub-con despite reader being the dominant > kinda treated it like a hc/imagine request anyway hahhh it was fun to write!

Man, yandere masochist Tim would be a little bit of a mindfuck. But a delicious one, to be sure! I think the relationship is initially enticing to you because, well, Tim's the one getting dominated here. You're the one with the upper hand.

(He thinks it's very cute of you to assume that. Despite being the submissive, Tim’s definitely the one in control here.)

On a surface-level, Tim would enjoy letting go and putting himself in your hands. The Bats are adept at multitasking, but even geniuses like them get… stressed. Sometimes he doesn’t want to think, Lord knows he does enough of that already. Sometimes, it’s nice to be the pawn in someone else’s game for once, but also be able to enjoy it.

On a deeper level, Tim likes being your sub because it truly means that he's yours and you’re his. He loves when you pull at his hair, nip at him, or bully him. Your anger, your passion, your punishment– only he gets to see and enjoy the darker sides of you that you keep hidden from view during the day. Tim is greedy. Both the pain and pleasure you dish out is for him, and him alone, to take. And the same goes for your softness during the aftercare.

I see Tim enjoying being any flavor of masochist/sub, depending on his mood. And depending on yours as well! He can be a feisty, vexing brat with a smart mouth or a whimpering, pleading submissive. He has nothing if not the range! I think he’d really enjoy spanking or flogging.

His favorite position is head down, ass up. He likes the vulnerability and surprise, and the option to hide his face and mewl into the sheets. He's partial to being blindfolded as well! He enjoys bondage and shibari, too. He could easily escape, but he doesn't - that's him showing his respect, adoration, and trust for you.

Tim's more … possessive qualities will show themselves if you aren’t in a relationship with him, only friends with benefits.

"I may... find another sub, if that's okay with you?" No, it's not okay with him. Only he gets to see you this way. He feels obscenely, viscerally opposed to the idea, but he smiles amicably to your face.

Tim’s requests get more and more extreme to keep your attention. Show you that he lacks nothing, and he can go farther than any other masochist you could find. However, you didn't ask him to perform this way. Sure, you may be the dominant here, but your boundaries still matter don’t they?

“Fine… but this is the last time, Tim,” you say, relenting. You’ll find him nodding, agreeing that of course, of course, just one more time for pity’s sake. That night, he’ll make sure to make the sweetest sounds. His role usually takes and receives, but Tim decides to also give. You can sit and ride his face until you orgasm. In your post-coital glow, you'll lie sandwiched to each other, breathless. He'll have your fingers trail on his skin and trace the bruises and the pretty pink welts you've left.

He'll whisper his agenda in your ear. You've always been easier to convince after loosening up. Okay, so maybe he was more hardcore than usual tonight, but you liked it, too. Why ruin a good thing? What could anyone give you that Tim can't? Maybe you really don't need to find someone else.

And most importantly, Tim will make it seem like you arrived at that conclusion entirely by yourself.

#yandere batfam #yandere tim drake x reader #tim drake x reader #tim drake #yandere tim drake #queue #tw nsft #mine

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fandom-trash-goblin · 3 days

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Jiang cheng for the ask game

Also asked my @jcs-singular-slut-strand my beloved <3<3<3 and another anon, i'll just put it here. this needs a lot more jin ling but i'm tired sorry

Favourite thing about them: the fact that jiang cheng isn't a genius like wwx. he works hard and he fails and he's still so fucking amazing. he's sandu shengshou, he's sect leader jiang, he's zidian's wielder, he's fucking amazing. jiang cheng goes from this:

the most laughable one was the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, the people of which either had been killed or had scattered, leaving only Jiang Cheng, who was younger than even Lan XiChen and was still a child born yesterday, who had nobody in his hands but still dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion as he recruited new disciples.

to one of the most feared people in the world. everyone needs to clap for him.

propoganda : sect leader jiang convincing rogue cultivators to join, the dichotomy of our poor little dangereuse meow meow, he's trying so hard but he's going the wrong way, man believes his big brother so deeply even when he wants him dead, his fearsome reputation comes from killing his brother but gosh he will cry if you mention that,

Least favourite thing about them: not a least favourite thing tbh just--i so badly wanted the reverse core reveal man. i wanted jiang cheng to throw it in wei wuxian's face that he sacrificed himself first. i know it's not his character, and it's better that way, but i want him to- and then i wanna see the devastation on wwx's face. delicious

Favourite line: this post has that variation of my father picked me five times in my entire life and it made me happy for months that i cannot bring myself to write so you should just click on the link. also, devastation->

the absolute variations of Wei Wuxian!

Don’t you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path. You think you can be immune to all those condemnations as you stay outside of the world and do whatever you want? No such precedent has happened before!

Why do you want his forehead ribbon? To hang yourself and commit suicide? I can lend you my belt, you’re welcome.

Go ahead. What other bad news do you have to report?

something something If you insist on protecting them(the Wen side branch), then I can't protect you

brOTP: Jiang Cheng & Jin Ling. that's his jiujiu, man. you can fucketh right off if you wanna say anything bad. i would love love an explored dynamic between Jiang Cheng & Lan Qiren. also a possible wen ning & jiang cheng or lan wangji & jiang cheng but we are not gonna see it happen in this cannon lmao.

OTP: chengxian. here's why one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, between this and jonsa, i'm never beating the incest allegations

edit: jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

nOTP: i started out with jiang cheng/lan xichen... but i don't really see it anymore. but i don't hate it either, i will read fics for it if i like the writing.

Random headcanon:

lichtenberg scars. many of them, glowing whenever he uses zidian. here's where i got it from.

man is a savant at politics even if he's loud and angry.

yunmeng jiang absolutely adores their sect leader. i will love you forever if you send me recs all of them. pretend i haven't read a single one.

Lan Qiren has a favourite student that year and his name was not LWJ. Person had the same initials as Jesus Christ.

Unpopular Opinion: liking Jiang Cheng itself might be an unpopular opinion, tbh. but. let me punch wen ning just once. once. i'm sure he's done nothing wrong in his life ever. but please. once

Song I associate with them: zero idea. i'll get back to you on this.

Favourite picture of them:

babey! i think we're underestimating the potential of disney princess jiang cheng // that's his whole damn world he loves them so much // the shepherd's favourite lamb vibes.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #the untamed #jiang wanyin #asks #anon asks #yunmeng shuangjie #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng jiang #i love him. your honor. please

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cinnamon-girl-writes · 3 days

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higuruma marriage headcanons ! . . .

by @cinnamon-girl-writes

higuruma x reader, fluff, nsfw under cut

first of all i looooovvveeee higuruma so much so i'm glad other people do and i'm not alone :')

i'm not gonna say much about dating pre-marriage

he definetly dates with the intent to get married. i can't see him as a player or someone who dates around just for fun

he'd take you on lots of dates; several a week

most of them are more modest locations like a coffee shop or the local markets, but on special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries) he books a reservation at a fancy restaurant

in a relationship and in his life i think he's very smart with money

he proposed at the spot where you met; a beautiful park in the city which was especially green this time of year

he definetly took you to get your nails done a few days beforehand and paid in full

he decided to splurge and get you a gorgeous wedding ring with a huge diamond

obviously this was well thought out and planned, and he decided that you're worth it and logically, you're going to be wearing this for the rest of your life so he wanted it to be high quality and something that you'd like

he'd definetly take into consideration whether you prefer gold or silver jewelry choose get a ring accordingly

he really just wants to have a simple wedding

mostly because he's not one for huge public displays of affection but also, going back to him being smart with money, he wants to save up for a honeymoon trip and investments like a house, furnishings, etc.

basically, he's a very logical person and doesn't see a lot of value in putting so much money into one day

that being said, he'd still make it as special and intimate for the two of you as possible with special gestures and a traditional ceremony

i can see the wedding happening in a church most likely

anyways, the honeymoon would be somewhere you've never traveled to so the two of you could experience a new place, like malaysia (iykyk), france, italy, greece, especially somewhere romantic

once y'all move in together, he'd be very adamant about holding up his end of the cleaning, cooking, maintenace, etc. even though he works a full time job. to him it's the only option; you both live there so you both do equal work to take care of the home

i see him as being a very clean and routinely person

he likes to have his morning routine before he goes to work every day: wake up next to the love of his life, sleep in for as many minutes as possible, then get up and shower, get dressed, have coffee and breakfast, and read the paper before he's on his way to work

speaking of breakfast, this man can cook. one of his favorite hobbies is cooking for you and having you be his personal taste tester

he likes to experiment with food from different cultures and other countries

sometimes date nighy with him is just him cooking a nice meal for the two of you and watching y'all's favorite movies

he loves true crime btw

also in his house this man has a huge library. like he has an office but he also has a room just dedicated to books

yea there's some law books but it's mostly miscellaneous things he found interesting: cooking books, fantasy novels, travel guides, etc.

what can i say, he'd be a perfect partner~

NSFW 🪐

higuruma is a g o d at eating pussy, i don't make the rules

that tongue can recite the law AND [redacted]

he also doesn't have a huge dick (y'all let's be realistic. why would you want that anyways) but this man knows how to use it

i'm thinking like 5 inches, above average girth and neatly trimmed hair but not completely gone. slight curve the the left

his favorite position is missionary 100%. this just makes so much sense to me

i know y'all are gonna say 'ass or tits' so i'll just go ahead and establish he's a tits man. yes this is the law

he has a praise kink. oh he's unfulfilled in his life and hates his job?? yea fs.

i know i said tits but this man also loves thighs. he wants to be suffocated between them

honestly 10/10 he's perfect

#higuruma x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen higuruma #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #higuruma hiromi #jjk higuruma

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starlettescarlet · 2 days

Text

no, Matty's not TTPD's muse - and neither is Joe

okay so in my previous post i said that i believe that taylor has a secret muse (or muses) she's been writing about and in this masterpost i'll further explain why.

alright so as many of you may have noticed, there are a few main themes in most of taylor's work: forbidden romances, being in love with your best friend - or someone so controversial that the world wouldn't accept, your parents wouldn't accept, you and your love being against the world, religious guilt - you know the stuff. i've always wondered why? because Taylor Swift the gorgeous gorgeous billionaire who's always been dating famous single men who's around her age (we're leaving Jack and John out here) - like why would her relationships would be so forbidden and unheard of and the world just turn against her if they knew? the obvious theory is, yeah because she's gay or at least bisexual. i think everyone has heard enough of this theory (and i think this is the theory that has the most evidence) but in this post i'm going to keep in neutral and try to explore it in a more broad way.

with the drop of TTPD, she put a face to this forbidden love - turns out it was Matty Healy all long. it was Matty whom she secretly dreamt about and it was Matty whom would make her fall from grace just to touch his face etcetera. i mean yeah, it could be - but honestly i feel like this doesn't hold enough evidence considering she had been writing about the same person before they even met (2014). that's why I think Matty is a red-herring (a clue or piece of information that is, or is intended to be, misleading or distracting). it holds even more evidence when she is the one who's been telling us that she lies and withholds informations from us if you've ever listened to her carefully. anyways i'm not good at summarising stuff, so i'll just share the examples (the files, if you will) and it's up to you to decide.

so Taylor wrote about forbidden love both in Fearless (Love Story) and Speak Now (Ours), but we won't get into much detail here considering she was still a kid so yep it makes sense her parents wouldn't let her date who she wants lmao.

file I. Red

"Put your lips close to mine As long as they don't touch"

i think the entirety of Treacherous is pretty self-explanatory. this was like 2-3 years before she met Matty.

file ii. 1989

"And you took a Polaroid of us Then discovered (Then discovered) The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color"

the entirety of Out of the Woods explores the same old theme of your love being doomed from the beginning and it's you and your love against the world. this is supposed to about Harry Styles because of the bridge (Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?) (which I believe is an other red-herring) but I honestly do not understand why dating Harry Styles would feel like that lmao. "Baby, like we stood a chance / Two paper airplanes flying" i mean i don't know.

"Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?"

"Too in love to think straight All alone, or so it seemed But there were strangers watching And whispers turned to talking And talking turned to screams, oh"

the same theme in Wonderland (which i believe sounds extremely queer, but like i said it's for you to decide)

"I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost"

"Truth is, I can't pretend it's Platonic, it's just ended, so"

"One night, he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love"

themes of being in love with your best friend. i think it's self-explanatory.

"I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs Would surprise the whole school"

"When you told me we'd get back together"

"You don't knock anymore, and my whole life's ruined"

another theme is high school lovers. which is interesting because none of Taylor's exes that we know about weren't in the same school with her, or neither were her childhood friends. this theme will make a huge comeback in later albums.

file iii. reputation

this album is FUCKED. okay,

"Something happened for the first time In the darkest little paradise Shaking, pacing, I just need you"

"For you I would cross the line I would waste my time I would lose my mind They say, "She's gone too far this time."

"Halo, hiding my obsession I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy"

reputation is mostly supposed to be about Joe Alwyn and again, i don't know what is it about Joe that would make her questions her faith like that.

"Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep"

"I, I loved you in secret First sight, yeah, we love without reason"

"Picture of your face in an invisible locket You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it I had a bad feeling"

"I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche?"

"I'd kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down I'd hold you as the water rushes in"

again i really don't remember her and Joe ever being this secret and forbidden and the public wouldn't let them be together if they ever knew but, okay.

"Our secret moments in a crowded room They got no idea about me and you"

"All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you"

"I don't want you like a best friend"

"Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try And if I get burned, at least we were electrified"

"Everyone thinks that they know us But they know nothing about—"

TAYLOR WHAT'S GOING ON. alright we're moving on

file iv. Lover

"I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh) And I scream, "For whatever it's worth I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

again there's this romance that is so forbidden and not meant to happen but she can't help it etcetera. doesn't scream Joe Alwyn to me.

"We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I'd die for you? We were stupid to jump In the ocean separating us Remember how I'd fly to you?"

"They all warned us about times like this They say the road gets hard and you get lost When you're led by blind faith, blind faith"

"But we might just get away with it Religion's in your lips Even if it's a false god We'd still worship We might just get away with it The altar is my hips Even if it's a false god"

"I know heaven's a thing I go there when you touch me, honey"

"Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness"

again what's going on that would make her question her faith like that.

"School bell rings, walk me home"

"20 questions, we tell the truth You've been stressed out lately, yeah, me too Something gave you the nerve To touch my hand"

"Church bells ring, carry me home Rice on the ground looks like snow Call my bluff, call you "Babe" Have my back, yeah, every day Feels like home, stay in bed The whole weekend"

again being in love with your best friend and they get married at the end. honestly i just believe this is gay.

file v. Folklore

"I persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?"

"In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time"

the entirety of The One is just about still thinking about your ex love. this theme will make a huge comeback in TTPD.

"I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy"

again she's reminiscing about her ex love. keep the Peter & Wendy theme in the back of your mind.

"You know I didn't want to Have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels That I gave you As you bury me"

another theme is ghosts, death and burials. also keep this one in mind.

"I still got love for you Your braids like a pattern Love you to the moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long"

another childhood love song. it could be interpreted as platonic, but it sounds romantic to me. idk.

"Back when we were still changing for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all"

"Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose"

she's still reminiscing about "The One" but here it also overlaps with the high school love muse. this is going to make more sense in Evermore.

"And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies and it dies and it dies"

i mean i don't think an explanation for Illicit Affairs is needed. here comes a new theme, the one whom she's having a forbidden affair turns out to be married.

"You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else"

"You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else"

kinda screams Out of the Woods to me.

"My twisted knife My sleepless night My winless fight This has frozen my ground"

"You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for"

"You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score?"

again this is supposed to be about Joe (the references to "blue", him being a pisces and having mental issues) but it really doesn't sound like it - i mean not in the narrative we know about.

"Take me to the Lakes where all the poets went to die I don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you"

"While I bathe in cliffside pools With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief"

again the feeling of being misunderstood by the whole public and she defines Joe as her "calamitous" (catastrophic) love. hmm.

file vi. evermore

"Every bait-and-switch was a work of art"

bait-and-switch in literature is explained as: "This occurs when the author guides and encourages readers to invest their attention in some suspenseful situation but then is substitute for a payoff that has little to do with what occurred before."

"So we could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend 'Tis the damn season, write this down I'm staying at my parents' house And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown"

"I parked my car Right between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours"

"So I'll go back to LA And the so-called friends who'll write books about me if I ever make it And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking"

again the high school love.

"There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you"

reminiscing The One again.

"Hey Dorothea Do you ever stop and think about me? When we were younger Down in the park Honey, making a lark of the misery"

this is the childhood friend muse we've seen before in It's Nice to Have a Friend and Seven (even in Mary's Song).

"And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go"

"Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care? 'Cause we were like the mall before the Internet It was the one place to be The mischief, the gift wrapped suburban dreams"

this kind of sounds to me like the muse in 'tis the Damn Season. it is clear that this was someone from her teenage years, could be the high school love. also a reference to Suburban Legends.

"Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another"

the married muse.

"And the old widow goes to the stone every day But I don't, I just sit here and wait Grieving for the living"

"I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed"

the same cemetery and being haunted theme.

"It's been a long time And seeing the shape of your name Still spells out pain"

"I know I'm just a Wrinkle in your new life Staying "friends" Would iron it out so nice"

she's still reminiscing about her ex love and also a reference to being friends.

"Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt"

right where you left me is like the song that has all the theories combined lmao. there's not getting over The One, there's her love getting married to someone else (Glass shattere on the white cloth / I'm sure that you got a wife out there / Kids and Christmas but I'm unaware cause I'm right where you left me), there's being haunted, there's queerness (Hairpin drop) - there's literally everything.

file vii. Midnights

"Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend"

the best friend theme and honestly i think this is just gay.

"'Cause I don't remember who I was before you Painted all my nights A color I have searched for since"

feels like a direct reference to Out of the Woods and, illicit affairs maybe?

"Oh, my, love is a lie Shit my friends say to get me by It hits different It hits different this time"

another breakup song that was written when she was with Joe.

"I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost"

the Kens will make a comeback in TTPD.

"I find the artifacts, cried over a hat Cursed the space that I needed I trace the evidence, make it make some sense"

"artifacts" and "evidence" will also make a come back later.

"Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl"

honestly i think this is just gay.

"Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away? To take me away"

another reference to being locked up in an asylum lmao.

"We can plant a memory garden Say a solemn prayer Place a poppy in my hair"

another reference to graveyards and also battles, which comes back in You're Losing Me.

"Privacy sign on the door And on my page and on the whole world Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours"

keeping your love hidden which she didn't lmao

"I wanna transport you To somewhere the culture's clever Confess my truth In swooping, sloping, cursive letters"

she needs to take her love to somewhere the culture's clever so they could be... understood? i mean i wonder why... why would she need to confess her truth about Joe

"High infidelity Put on your records and regret me"

"Do you really want to know where I was April 29th? Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?"

she's just cheating

"I'd pay, if you'd just know me"

another reference to taylor feeling like she's not being understood

"We were supposed to be just friends You don't live in my part of town but maybe I'll see you out some weekend"

friends alert

"Dear reader, if it feels like a trap You're already in one"

"Dear reader, burn all the files Desert all your past lives And if you don't recognize yourself That means you did it right"

"Never take advice from someone who's falling apart"

"Dear reader, you don't have to answer Just 'cause they asked you"

"Dear reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets"

i think Dear Reader is the song that made the making of TTPD possible because this is like the first song she directly confesses that her life is not what it seems and she keeps things hidden

"I prefer hiding in plain sight"

"Spilling out to you for free But darling, darling, please You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking If you knew where I was walking To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there"

she's basically saying YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH. it cannot get more obvious.

"You should find another guiding light, guiding light But I shine so bright"

she knows that despite her efforts to tell us about her life and how it's very different from the narrative she tells us the public won't believe it cause she shines so bright

file viii. THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

"I was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic"

she shockingly confesses to not actually being what she seemed to be - she's depressed and she's an alcoholic and the reference to being locked up in the psych ward (Hits Difference) (also Fortnight mv)

"You're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road"

"But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head"

kind of reminds me of the muse of Peace (if your cascade ocean blue waves come) and Hoax

"He was my best friend Down at the sandlot I felt more when we played pretend Than with all the Kens"

the best friend theme and the Kens?

"Did you take all my old clothes? Just to leave me here naked and alone In a field in my same old town"

"Down bad like I lost my twin"

honestly it sounds like she's singing about a woman here. (Karlie)

"I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it"

the reference to Paris and all the other songs where she feels like her love cannot be understood

"I just learned these people only raise you to cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing, "What a mess" I just learned these people try and save you 'Cause they hate you"

i won't write the whole lyrics but the entirety of But Daddy I Love him is about forbidden love (like Love Story), not being understood, the whole world judging your love etc.

"Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to"

"Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine"

"My friends tried but I wouldn't hear it Watched me daily disappearing For just one glimpse of his smile"

i feel like Frest Out the Slammer is a direct reference to illicit affairs muse (Make sure nobody sees you leave / Hood over your head keeps your eyes down / Tell them you're out for a run / You'll be flushed when you return)

"At the park where we used to sit on children's swings Wearing imaginary rings"

again it sounds like the muse is somebody whom she's known since she was way younger

"Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?"

yeah she wants to cheat so bad lmao. i think this is pre-illicit affairs.

"I keep these longings locked In lowercase, inside a vault Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts Only your actions talk"

again religious guilt and keeping your desires hidden.

"What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously"

wow. once again she's haunted.

"They shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I Tell 'em he's my man But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no really I can"

you know what i honestly believe this is the same muse from cowboy like me lmao. another dangerous forbidden love.

"Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames If we know the steps anyway? We embroidered the memories of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe" I said, "I don't mind, it takes time""

here comes the muse from the 1, the old flame. again the childhood / high school lovers trope.

"Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried"

cemeteries again?

"It was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried"

i think this is after-the 1. (If one thing had been different / Would everything be different today?) i think they tried again but it didn't work.

"I can read your mind "She's having the time of her life" There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequin stars Off her silhouette every night I can show you lies"

i don't think i need to explain I Can Do it With a Broken Heart.

"And I don't even want you back, I just want to know If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

there's something about The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived that makes me think about it's related to August. i feel like it was written from August' POV.

"'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden"

self-explanatory, huh?

"Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons"

again she's haunted but i think The Black Dog is honestly about Joe.

"I'm the albatross I swept in at the rescue The devil that you know Looks now more like an angel"

again more religious imagery that i'm too tired to explain right now lmao but you know the drill

"You turned me into an idea of sorts"

she's talking about the public's perception of her

"Say it once again with feeling How the death rattle breathing Silenced as the soul was leaving The deflation of our dreaming Leaving me bereft and reeling My beloved ghost and me Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G"

"And so I changed your name and any real defining clues And one day Your kid comes home singing A song that only us two is gonna know is about you"

this is where the real deal comes in. in thanK you aIMee, it sounds like a direct reference to Kim Kardashian but she just throws this line here which makes you think... hmm. if she changed her name and any real defining clues how do we know it's about Kim? so maybe it isn't. i mean that's what she said anyways.

"I tried searching faces on streets What are the chances you'd be Downtown, downtown, downtown Does it feel alright to not know me? I'm addicted to the "if only"

feels like a reference to The One.

"I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?"

"Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me"

"A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon"

"A greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait I'm so afraid I sealed my fate No sign of soulmates"

another song where she feels doomed and cursed. honestly i think this is the saddest song from TTPD.

"You can mark my words that I said it first In a mourning warning no one heard

No one heard Not a single word was heard"

in Cassandra she once again sings about not being heard.

"Forgive me, Peter My lost fearless leader In closets like cedar Preserved from when we were just kids"

"You said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me"

in Peter she once again sings about the old flame, the 1, the childhood love. we're supposed to believe the muse in question is Matty. they were both 25 when they met so it's up to you to decide if this is the childhood love. idk.

"Started with a kiss "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" But it always ends up with a town car speeding Out the drive one evening Ended with the slam of a door Then he'll call her a whore"

illicit affairs alert

so, to sum it up -

chapter "hiding in plain sight"

i. dear reader, ii. thank you aimee, iii. fortnight, iv. i can do it with a broken heart

chapter "forbidden love"

i. love story, ii. ours, iii. treacherous, iv. illicit affairs, v. cowboy like me, vi. but daddy i love him, vii. guilty as sin

chapter "i loved you in secret"

i. king of my heart, ii. dress, iii. don't blame me, iv. paris, v. glitch

chapter "the 1"

i. the 1, ii. 'tis the damn season, iii. coney island, iv. suburban legends, v. loml, so many more i'm so tired at the moment lmao let me wrap it up

chapter "passed down like folk songs"

this is the childhood best friend chapter btw

i. seven, ii. dorothea, iii. mary's song, iv. it's nice to have a friend

chapter "suburban legends"

this is the high school love chapter which could also overlap with the 1 chapter

i. 'tis the damn season, ii. coney island, iii. loml

chapter "best friend" (which could also overlap the childhood best friend and high school love chapter, i know it's so complicated)

i. maroon, ii. you are in love, iii. dress, iv. mary's song, v. it's nice to have a friend

alright so i've probably left some songs out cause i'm on my period and my mind is so foggy, like i said i'm so tired so please let me know there's anything missing.

to sum it up in a shorter way,

muse i. the best friend (which can both be the childhood best friend or the high school lovers, the one from her hometown, also can be the 1)

muse ii. illicit affairs, the one that got married, it can also overlap the prior muse idk

muse iii. this one is clearly a woman in my opinion.

IN CONCLUSION

in conclusion, there seems to be at least one hidden muse throughout taylor's discography. i feel like there's at least three. by the way - i couldn't care less whom taylor writes about. i'm just interested in the story she has to tell. and lately it's been feeling like she has been begging for us to understand her. i think she uses a lot of red herrings to hide the true muses of her songs. when you carefully listen to her whole discography there are a few stories that instantly connect to each other that is out of the narrative taylor explicitly chose to tell us about. and this is not to say that she never had a relationship with Harry or Joe or whatever - it's just that I believe there is someone else (or others) that we don't yet know about. i think the one she's known from her hometown is the most obvious one.

anyways, i'm curious to hear about your thoughts in this.

#taylor swift #red tv #1989 tv #folklore #evermore #reputation #lover #midnights #the tortured poets department #taylor swift theories #ttpd #music #lyrics #gaylor #not actually gaylor but kinda #it's complicated #ts

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missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway · 19 hours

Text

I got all these issues. Will you be my prescription?

Bucky Barnes x POC!Reader

Wordcount: 4462

Summary:

A fight about your safety ensues when pictures of the two of you together get leaked by a fellow agent and former one night stand. He's livid that your relationship is exposed to the world and now could be used against him. You could care less who knows about your relationship. You've been together over a year, you knew what dating the former Winter Soldier brought with it. No, you're pissed that some bitch, who doesn't even count as an ex, is trying to ruin the best thing to happen to you.

Warnings:

Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Feels, Some Humor, Protective Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Song Lyrics, Inspired by Music, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, P In V Sex

Notes:

Hello Heathens! This oneshot came out of nowhere one evening when I was listening to music on my phone while working on another fic. A cover of the song "Issues" (originally performed by Julia Michaels) came on and my mind was flooded with this idea and story that I need to flesh out. I have no control of my muse. I just write the stories she tells me to. HAPPY READING! Lyrics for the song Issues by Cameron Bedell will be in bold. ( Here's a link for you to check out the song ) Thoughts in italic.

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

You're trying to get him to understand that the real problem is the agent and not the exposure. Yes you now have to be more careful when you're somewhere without him. But it's not much different than what you were already doing.

"If she leaked us being together what makes you think she wouldn't leak other more sensitive information. Hell, she already could have!" You argue, trying to get him to see the whole picture.

"I don't give a fuck about some jealous drunken hook up who still feels jaded. I never wanted you in danger. That's why it was so important to keep us hidden." He snaps back.

Your emotions finally get the best of you. "I never WANTED to be hidden James! I went along with it because it was something you needed that made you feel secure. One less reason I might leave."

You shake your head as the tears begin to well in your eyes. "We're over a year in. I thought we'd be out to more than just people with enough clearance to be made aware. Makes me feel like your dirty little secret. I don't want to be that forever."

"Keeping your attachment to me hidden keeps you safe. What about that dont you understand?" He's so lost in his fear that he can't see things clearly.

"No. It leaves me vulnerable and easier to take with no one noticing because they're unaware of my relationship to the deadliest man I know." You calmly state. That seems to get his attention. "How can anyone fear the repercussions of even trying to get close to me like that without knowing who to be afraid of?"

He just stands there. Tension radiating off his body.

You let out an exasperated sigh and start walking to your door. "I think you need to go Bucky. I can't do this with you right now. You're so lost in your anger and fear that you're not thinking clearly. And I'm just plain pissed off. I don't want either of us to say something we regret later."

A look of shock crosses his face. "Doll, you can't be serious? We just got exposed. You're not safe."

"No one knows where I live, yet."

"Key word, yet."

"James." You reach for the knob. "Please just give me some time alone. I know where to find you when I'm ready. We both need to think about things from all angles."

He walks up to you and pins you to the door with a soul crushing kiss. Putting all of his fear and love into that one small gesture. He pulls away and allows you to open the door. Just as he crosses the threshold he turns his head your way. "This is far from over, doll. Don't keep me waiting too long."

You spend the next couple of days working through your thoughts with your guitar. Letting the music take you where you need to be. Mending the frayed edges and soothing the aches.

Through your musical therapy a song develops. Something that you think might help ease things between the two of you. Because, let's face it, you miss your man something fierce.

Every imperfect piece of him. Responding to his texts just to let him know you’re safe and alive, just isn't going to cut it anymore. Someone has to yield first, and it looks like this time around, it’s going to have to be you.

Mind made up on what you are going to do, you decide to give Steve a call.

It rings three times before he picks up. “Rogers.”

“Hey Stevie. How’s he holding up?” You waste no time asking what you so desperately want to know.

“Hey, Dollface.” He sighs. “‘Fraid to say, he’s not doing too great. Seems his already short fuse has shortened significantly. Had to take him off the training roster for the recruits because too many couldn't keep up with his demands or got injured.”

“Shit.” You shake your head even though you know he can't see it. “I was hoping he had calmed down some by now. I’m sorry Steve. I didn’t think he'd still be affected this much.”

“It’s not your fault. You know how overprotective he is in general. Add a threat, from the inside at that, and he goes nuclear.” He excuses.

“Well, I think I may have a solution to our problems.” You admit. “If not at least a band-aid for the time being. I’m going to need you and Sam’s help though. If you're willing of course.”

“I’m all ears. Want me to grab Sam so you don't have to explain it twice?”

“That would be great actually. I’d appreciate not having to spend more energy than I need too.”

“Alright. Hang on a sec.” You hear shuffling, followed by a door opening. Then the tell tale sound of a knock and a muffled voice before a door opens once more. “Hey Sam. Mind if I come in? I’ve got Buck’s best girl on the phone and she has something she wants to go over with us.”

“No problem man. Come on in.” Sam replies.

Once safely behind Sam’s door he places the phone on speaker. “Okay, doll. Tell us your plan.”

“It’s pretty simple really. I’ve used my time alone to reflect and process things the best way I know how. With my guitar.” You lightly chuckle. “Anyway. Long story short, I wrote something for James and I want to surprise him by performing it in front of you all.”

“All of us?” Sam asks.

“Well, just the Avengers. A small little private concert type of thing. Though I'll only be singing the one song halfway through. My friend has a great band that I think you all would love. If you can get Tony to hire them for the night to do a private show for you guys, I can sneak my performance in.”

“So Bucky will know about the private show but not that you're a part of it?” Steve questions for clarification.

“Yup.” You pop the ‘P’ for emphasis. “Think you can sway Tony to make this happen?”

“Seeing as how this should improve Bucky’s temperament and save us doing extra recruit rotations and paperwork. I don't see Tony being a problem. Text us when you know if your friend's band can do it and we’ll take it from there.” You can hear the relief in Steve’s voice over your plan.

“Thank you guys. I owe you big time.” You declare.

“Just help us get the normal grumpy old man back. That’s all we ask.” Sam imparts.

“That’s the plan.”

Tonight’s the night. You rub your hands anxiously against your thighs as the town car Tony sent for you cruises leisurely down the long Compound driveway. You surpass the front roundabout and make your way around to the back, near the private entrance and garage the Avengers use.

You text your friend Marco, the lead singer of Bow & Dagger, that you’ve arrived and to send someone out to get you. Of course your ex Chase, the bassist, is the one to greet you. He leans his body against the door frame, a smirk plastered across his face, as he scans your body from the bottom up. “Looking good Firefly.”

You roll your eyes at the use of your old nickname. “Still using that outdated moniker Chase?”

He quirks a brow at you. “You’ll always be my firefly. Maybe even more so now that you’ve gotten away. I’ll forever be chasing your light.”

You can't help but laugh at him. “Does that lyrical prose still work on the female population nowadays?”

“I’ve had no complaints.” He shrugs. “It used to work on you just fine if I remember correctly. Hell you used to toss it right back at me.”

“The blessed naivety of youth. Thank the Goddess that I grew up and my priorities shifted. I’m a more well rounded individual now. Less in search of useless validation.”

“Ouch.” He clutches his chest. “Still got those talons, I see.”

“Never leave home with them.” You wink at him. “You gonna let me in so you can make that paycheck I’m sure is well above your normal fee, or stand there all night?”

“Get in here smartass before Marco lays in to me for wasting time.” He moves aside.

You walk into the pseudo green room and are immediately smothered in a bear hug. “Hiya Stu. I’m happy to see you too.” You say into his barreled chest. “Mind letting up a bit. I kinda need to feel my fingers in order to play.”

He quickly lets go, only to place his hands on your shoulders and stare at you with a dopey smile across his face. “I’m sorry girlie. I’m just so happy to see ya. It’s been too long.”

“It has. I’m sorry ‘bout that.” You wince. “Life kind of got away from me. You know how it goes.”

“I’d say all is forgiven, seeing as you booked us this sweet gig.” Marco butts in, scooping you up in a hug himself.

“Fuck yeah! I finally get to shoot my shot with the Black Widow.” Stu exclaims.

“It’s the least I could do. You guys have no idea how much you're helping me out here.” You walk over to the couch and place your travel case down.

“What exactly are we helping you with anyway?” Chase inquires.

“Some Rom-Com grand gesture type shit” You smugly state.

“No shit?” Stu asks.

“I speak only the truth.”

“You gonna tell us who the unlucky schmuck is?” Chase snipes.

“With that attitude, you’re just going to have to wait and see.” You give him a smile to rival the Cheshire Cat’s. “The look on your face is going to be fucking priceless. I can’t wait.”

Before he can respond with some dickish comment, there’s a knock on the door, followed quickly by Tony and Steve entering the room.

Steve makes his way over to you. “Hey Dollface. You ready to get this show on the road?”

“I’m all set if these knuckleheads are ready to head on out there.” You turn towards the boys. “Have you guys met your benefactor for tonight's little private concert?”

“Negatory little lady.” Stu speaks up first, walking over to Tony. “Howdy Mr. Stark. The name’s Stu. Bow and Dagger’s drummer and loveable goofball. That’s Chase. Bassist and resident fuckboy. And the merose looking fucker over there is Marco our lead guitar and vocals.”

“That suits you.” Tony imparts. “You certainly give off drummer vibes. Lots of energy. Any questions on how this is gonna work?”

“I wouldn't mind a breakdown.” You pipe up.

"Here's how it's going to go." Steve grabs everyone's attention with his Captain voice. "We're going to gather the team in the common room where Sam and I set up a stage earlier. Tony is going to introduce the band. You'll play 3 songs and announce your taking a 5 min smoke break. That's when Dollface here is going to make her way on stage and do her thing."

He smiles over at you. "Hopefully if all goes well you guys will finish your set and then you're welcome to stay for dinner and hang out."

"Solid plan golden boy. You come up with that all on your own." You joke.

"Always with the smart quips. I'll remember that. Now let's get moving before the team gets restless and wanders off."

So far the evening was flowing seamlessly. As Bow & Dagger played the last notes on your third song, your nerves decided to make themselves known. You watched them announce their break and leave the stage.

Before you could sabotage yourself, you made your way onto the tiny stage and turned to the group of mostly stunned superheroes. “Hey guys. I hope you don’t mind me interrupting. I have some things I need to get off my chest and thought I might provide some intermission entertainment in the process.”

You roam the space for Bucky and lock eyes with his Steel blues, seated on the sofa next to Steve. Taking a deep breath, your fingers begin to strum the opening chords, the team looking on in curiosity over what may come out of your mouth.

Sustaining eye contact you let the lyrics flow out of you as if there is no one else in the room.

Mmm mm mm I'm jealous I'm overzealous When I'm down I get real down When I'm high, I don't come down I get angry Baby, believe me I could love you just like that And I could leave you just this fast

You take in his demeanor, stock still but engaged nonetheless.

But you don't Judge me 'Cause if you did, baby I would judge you too No, you don't judge me 'Cause if you did, baby I would judge you too

The only thought in your head is Here goes nothing, as you put your whole heart into the chorus.

'Cause I got issues But you got 'em too So give 'em all to me And I'll give mine to you Bask in the glory Of all our problems 'Cause we got the kind of love It takes to solve 'em Yeah, I got issues And one of them is how bad I need you

You breathe a little easier when you notice him start to soften. Just absorbing the piece of your soul you're sharing with everyone.

You do shit on purpose You get mad and you break things Feel bad, try to fix things But you're perfect Poorly wired circuit And got hands like an ocean Push you out Pull you back in

A subtle smile crosses his face at the truth in your words. The picture of him that many do not get to see. You really get into it as you run through the bridge and chorus one more time. Now it’s time to bring it home and woo your man.

Ooohhh, Need you OOOOOOH AHHHH I got issues You got 'em too So give 'em all to me And I'll give mine to you Bask in the glory Of all our problems 'Cause we got the kind of love It takes to solve 'em Yeah, I got issues And one of them is how bad I need you Ooh hoo hoo I got issues One of them is how bad I need yoou Issues And one of them is how bad I need you

You could hear a pin drop in the room as Bucky rises from his seat and makes his way over to the stage. You swallow and try to get your breathing under control as you have no idea what is going to happen.

Before you know it, he’s standing in front of you, broad chest heaving. He brings his hands up and cups your face before pulling you into an earth shattering kiss.

You forget that you have an audience until the sound of their cheers and clapping reaches your ears. You think you not only hear but see the muted flash of a camera through your closed lids.

You come up for air to see Bucky with the most lovesick expression on his face. “You did all that for me?”

You nod your head. “Figured it was the best way to get you to listen and understand.”

“Fuck I love you.”

“Love you too James.”

Sam rushes over to the stage. “Man, I live streamed the whole thing. The people are going crazy over ya’ll.”

“You did what?!” You both blurt out.

“I streamed it. The world already knows about you. Might as well milk it. No need to thank me, damn.”

Bucky moves to jump off the stage and rush Sam. You barely catch him in time. “Hey. Don't let him get to you okay. You know how much he loves to rile you up.”

“Sorry, doll. He’s just such a douchebag sometimes. We were having a moment.” He apologizes, running his thumb along your bottom lip.

“It’s fine.” You nip at the flesh as it passes over once more. “What I really want to know is if performing the song in front of everyone was okay? I just wanted you to hear me out and understand my side of things. I didn't want to embarrass you or anything.”

“Doll. Stop rambling.” You shut your mouth. “I loved it. Honestly I liked that they got to see how much you feel for me.”

You beam up at him. “Good.”

“Now I have some displays of affection I need to show you myself. Come on babygirl.” He pulls you off stage and heads towards the hallway that connects with his, Steve and Sam’s wing of the compound.

You’re pulled inside Bucky’s room, tripping over your sneakers as he hurriedly maneuvers you through his space. “James, slow down. I’m gonna eat shit if you keep it up.”

He stops in front of the bed, turning toward you. “Shut up.” He grabs your waist and tosses you down on to the mattress, climbing on and caging you in with his massive frame. “You’ve used that mouth enough tonight. Now it’s my turn.”

With no time to catch your breath, he renders you incapable of responding by capturing your lips with his own. Kissing life back into your body, as your tongues dance a tango only you know.

He takes his time as his hands roam your curves. Sneaking his cool metal digits under your shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He begins to remove your shirt, placing his flesh hand underneath your lower back as he slowly lifts your torso to pull your shirt over your head. You raise your arms in aid, grazing your fingertips across the stubble along his jaw when he tosses your shirt aside.

He trails his hands down your flesh until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. With a quick snap of his vibranium fingers your button is undone, your zipper quickly following suit. He starts to slide the denim down, tapping your hip to get you to raise them so that he can remove them entirely.

Leaning back on his haunches, he grabs the back of his shirt with his flesh hand and pulls it off. His lust blown blue eyes focused on you draped over his bed sheets. “So fucking beautiful.” He runs his hands up your legs, gripping the waistband of your panties when he reaches your hips and takes his time removing them from your body.

“Take your bra off for me, babygirl.” You lean up on your elbows, reach behind your back and unclasp the garment, letting it fall away from you body.

Leaning forward, he ghosts kisses along all of your exposed skin. Mapping out a trail of pleasure and gooseflesh. Teasing first one and then the other nipple with his tongue, ending each with a deep suction.

The slow paced teasing continues, driving your need for him higher. He stops his trek at your mound, hot breath blowing puffs of air on the cooling slick leaking from your folds. “So beautiful and all mine.” He runs a cool metal finger along your drenched lips. He ensnares you in his gaze. “That’s right, isn't it, babygir? This pretty little pussy is mine to do with as I please?”

“Yes. All of this is yours.” You pant out. Delirious for him to do something more than tease.

“Damn right it is.” He runs a stripe from taint to clit with his skillful tongue. Circling your sensitive little bundle nerves, pulling a moan out of your throat. Having had enough of taking his time slowly torturing you he thrusts his tongue inside your aching center. The thick muscle massaging your silken walls, giving them something to finally clamp on to.

“Mmm. James. Fuck. Your tongue feels so good baby.” Your hands anchor themselves in his hair, just enjoying the ride. But that’s not enough for him. He wants you desperate and begging before he gives in and makes you come apart on his cock.

He pulls his tongue out, swirling it along your folds, seeking out every drop of your essence. Moving the appendage upward to lightly circle figure eight patterns on your clit, bringing you right to the edge. So close to falling over that cliff into utter bliss before he pulls away.

“No! Why’d you stop? I was so close.” You sit up, reaching out for his face, wanting to drag him back to your pulsing center.

He scoots back off the bed. “The first time you come after sending me away and keeping your distance, is going to be while my cock is deep inside you.” He unbuckles his belt, drawing your eyes down to his hands working on divesting himself of the last of his garments.

You're hypnotized by his movements. Mouth watering as you wait for his thickness to spring free from its confines. Time seems to stand still as his pants drop to the floor. “You went commando.” You whisper out, licking your suddenly dry lips.

“Wonderful coincidence. I wasn't expecting to see you tonight and Steve came pounding on my door right as I got out the shower to tell me I had to come be a part of the festivities. I just threw on the closest clothes.” He shrugged, wrapping his metal fist around his length, giving himself a few pumps as he drank you in with a predatory gaze.

“Lay back down, babygirl.” He husks out. The command sends a fresh wave of slickness to your core, anticipating what’s to come, as you slowly lie back.

“Spread those luscious thighs for me, doll. Present me with my perfect little pussy.” He grunts out as he continues to stroke himself, a bead of precome precariously close to dropping from the tip as he places a knee down on the bed.

You open your legs wide enough to show off your glistening folds. Following his command, but holding back just enough to make him growl and push your thighs open the rest of the way.

“You really wanna play with me right now, babygirl? After keeping this body away from me for days?” He rubs his cock between your cleft, tip bumping against your engorged and still so sensitive clit.

You squirm and whimper, just wanting him to be inside of you already. That halted orgasm, inching its way back to the surface every time his hot length grazes your bundle of nerves.

“I’m sorry, James. Please. Need you inside me.” You plead. “It’s been too long since you filled me up.”

“You’re sorry huh?” You quickly nod your head. “Gonna let me wreck this pussy? Ruin you for anyone else? Milk me dry like the cumdrunk little slut that you are?”

“Yes. Yes. Please.” You beg, just wanting him to finally take you, reclaim you as his own.

“As you wish, babygirl.” He slams forward to the hilt, splitting you open with his girth.

He doesn't even give you a moment to get reacquainted with the size of him deep inside you. He just pulls back and thrusts in harder. Setting up a pace that just makes your brain go fuzzy and every nerve-ending sings in pleasure.

“Fuuuck. Look at you doll.” He grunts out. “Already cock drunk and I’ve barely gotten started. Pussy’s gripping me so tight baby. She doesn't want to let me go.”

Your mind can't function enough to produce anything other than moans, whimpers and wails of pleasure. You’re flying a serotonin high you are not ready to come down from yet. The coil in your core tightening as you dance closer and closer to the knife's edge of orgasm. Waiting for the moment when you dive off the edge into ecstasy.

Almost as if sensing that your climax is impending, Bucky picks up the pace, swiveling his hips and grinding his pelvis down on your clit for added stimulation. “Come on, baby. Come for me, pretty girl. I can feel your walls quivering around me. Give in. Fall apart on my cock. Show me how good I make you feel.”

That’s it. That’s all you need to lose yourself and let go completely. Surrendering to the euphoric bliss, screaming out for the whole compound to hear.

A rainbow of stars detonate behind your eyes as you writhe beneath him, back arching off the mattress before you go limp, laying in a state of bonelessness.

“Don’t pass out on me now doll. I’m so close. Little pussy is squeezin’ me so tight.” His pumps become erratic as he chases his own high. “Don’t you want me to fill you up? Have me leaking out of you for days?”

You just nod and whisper out. “Please. Full.” Not able to formulate more than two words in your current state.

It was all the validation that he needed to hear to stop holding back and release the days worth of his seed into your waiting womb. Painting the walls white with rope after rope of his spend.

It felt like it went on forever with how much he was pouring into you, until his dick stopped twitching and he collapsed on your chest. Catching his breath and covering your face in sweet kisses as you both come back down to earth.

You stayed locked together, your pussy warming his cock, as you both let your fingertips roam along the other's skin. Allowing yourselves time to just revel in the moment of the new direction your relationship is heading.

"You sure you're okay with the world knowing about us, doll? You’re not afraid that you'll no longer be safe?" He asks into your neck.

"Like I said before, I feel no less safe than I did before, James.” You tell him with conviction. ”Plus now, I get to rub it in everyone's face that the White Wolf is all mine.” You grin like the cat that got the cream. “You're truly stuck with me now, Bucky."

He chuckles. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He places a soft kiss on your lips.

Just as the kiss deepens and you start the journey towards round two, there’s a knock at the door, followed by Sam’s muffled voice. "You guys done making up yet? Steve wont let us eat until you guys get back out here."

You both can’t help but laugh. "Tell Stevie we'll be right out but we're not staying long. I've got time to make up for."

“TMI man! A simple ‘Be right out’ would have been enough, Buck.” Sam scoffs as we walks back to the common area.

“Come on, doll. Let’s get dressed before Stevie comes looking for us next.”

If you made it to the end, THANK YOU! If you liked it please feel free to let me know (but it's not required); and if you didn't, that's okay too, I still thank you for even giving it a chance.

#poc reader #avengers smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes

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yeonban · 7 days

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This result should classify as a threat

#* ooc. / posts.#* dash games.#I can't even say the quiz is wrong bc it ISN'T 😭😭😭#'What's your hobby' Staring at walls in complete silence thinking about every trauma I've ever experienced then writing to shake it off #'How do you deal with others' I don't. No one's seen me irl outside of classes in like 3 years bc I dislike noise and social effort #'What's your personality like?' So depressed I find it hard to even get out of bed; let alone remember to eat or do anything else #Me and Blade would get along swimmingly bc you'd put us in the same room and we'd sit there in mildly tense silence for 5 years #That said neither of us have been able to rest and relax in so many years that we might as well spend that ^ time taking a nap

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nonbinary-octopus · 13 days

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oops I started thinking about a frustrating event from highschool and spiraled into anger again :/

#original #the initial event was fairly minor and I probably would not have remembered it this long if not for the incredibly frustrating conversation #that ensued when I complained about it tonmy sunday school teachers #there were two things that had happened and which were inextricably intertwined. X was mildly irritating and Y I was somewhat mad about #they then proceeded to tell me that I should not be mad about X #and no matter how many times I insisted that I didn't CARE about X; I was mad about *Y*#they just kept saying that I shouldn't be mad about X #(honestly I'm also annoyed about how they kept insisting on that.#Like. 'you shouldn't be upset about X; it's gonna happen more times in your life and you're gonna have to get used to it'#is incredibly dismissive and if I'd actually been upset about X I would've been pissed with that response for that reason #)#but I was and still am pissed that I kept telling them that I was mad about *Y* not X and they just kept addressing X #come to think of it I don't think they even acknowledged Y at all let alone my righteous anger over it #... writing out these tags is not helping with the spiraling I think #I came up with an analogy/metaphor/parable that might've helped to make my point #and am now also angry that I can't go back in time and make them listen to it and see if it would make them understand

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cringefailfagcat · 2 months

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the way one of my friends offered to get people drinks. one of the others asked for a rum and coke, so i asked for a vodka lemonade n then they stood right behind me and went 'is olive allowed to drink?' it killed something inside me a little bit. like i wasn't episoding i've been responsible about my drinking recently don't take away my autonomy when i'm capable of looking after myself please. i know i barely can but don't. don't make this one of the few things people will actually talk to me for

#sorry but i just feel so isolated in the friend group #like no-one's leaving me out its just everyone is coupled up and the only other single people are in a qpr and go home together to watch #korra everytime we hang out and it kills that i'm the only one who has to go and be alone. everyone else skips off all happy and i'm left #to go back to my little den of depression and fight through the panic abandonment response that i get every time i leave them #but if i isolate myself completely i will be even worse. my therapist told me to make myself socialise as much as i can and i've been tryin #and it's usually alright for most of the time when we're together. like nice even if its heartbreakingly lonely and i dont have the spoons #to contribute consistently to conversations #vent #sorry i'm just. i feel like i'm falling apart slowly #catching bits as they fall and shoving them back into me but still deteriorating faster than i can fix myself #i want to stop.#i can't be a human anymore #i can study and live in literature but i cannot be human #i can't be loved.#i just want to beg one of my tutors to let me camp out in their office for a few hours so they can help me somehow do my essay #like. i can't do it on my own. i can't think enough to scrape up my memory of the books i'm writing about #and i don't have time to reread them to find quotes #i just. want to be a cat hiding under people's tables with the occasional pet from people who are kind enough to like my type of creature #but be left to sleep and do what i need to at my own pace #is that really so much to ask? can i become smaller please. take away this body of mine and give me something that fits the shape of me

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medicinemane · 3 months

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I don't know... I'd like to be able to give more, miss when I used to be able to donate to stuff

...feel like the fact that I haven't been able to afford to fix a cracked pipe for 6 months and that if I do get a plumber in here to fix that faucet I'm probably gonna need to give up the cheese money I finally got ahold of says that maybe... maybe it's not overly unreasonable of me to say I can't donate to anything but... it sucks

...able to buy a house in 2019, a $90k house mind, but a house none the less so... I don't know... I don't know...

Always been a kinda funny mutt where I've mostly been poor enough because of my mom that didn't eat half the time, but had solidly middle class grandparents in the background who could smooth things over... but weren't willing to enough that their grand kid actually got fed

So I don't know... both always felt kinda broke as shit, but also way to rich for that to be true... same thing here... feel broke from not being able to get a pipe fixed for over half a year, but rich in that I fucking have a house at all

But anyway... wish I could donate to shit, not that it would help even a little in the end, but still... wish I could, even a little

#think my mom will donate to stuff; in addition to paying a personal assistant for her writing that makes zilch and it's like...#don't know how to deal with you with all this #we are... living off your disability checks... and you go blowing them on shit like that #I don't know... I'm not pleased #not pleased about a lot of big things in the world I can't fucking effect #not like I'm a senator or some shit; not like even other random pricks on here are gonna listen to me let alone world leaders #but also not please cause if I could just get myself to do shit I could probably have a pretty great life in like 5 years #make the soap and sell it; clean the house; do some gardening; start cooking #like 4 hours of my day and I could build myself a paradise and I just... refuse #no matter how much I beg myself to I just fucking won't #I'm fucking trash

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 2 years

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The way people keep telling Carmy he's dead (because they mistake him for his brother), not even that he should be dead like his dreams say, but "you're dead," "aren't you dead," and it makes him seem like a ghost, like nothing more than a reflection of loss, but at the same time he keeps the restaurant alive because he IS still alive and he knows it so he keeps on making food (which obviously is massively connected with life and life-giving) he keeps on going into the restaurant because he's! not dead! Even though people keep telling him he is! Alexa play Hesitant Alien by Gerard Way!

(I still haven't been able to watch more than two episodes but I am Always Thinking About Them)

no but like!! that's the thing!!! is he keeps being told he's dead and it's not even on purpose but his dreams tell him it SHOULD be!!! and YET!!!!!! he keeps choosing to live and to try to get better and to try to make things better for other people!!! and WITH other people!! and this is very clearly illustrated specifically in the way he consistently apologizes to people when he screws something up/is a jerk!!! he is TRYING. trying for life and connection and healing and hope. Alexa play Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

#literally the second song i put on this playlist akskskdjksjs #(the first was punisher by pb bc ''i can't open my mouth and have nothing come out even if i could wouldn't know where to start #wouldn't know when to stop'' makes me think REALLY HARD about sydney)#i have like half of hesitant alien on the playlist maybe once you get to see the rest of the episodes I'll send it to you/post it #but like #YEAH it's about CHOOSING to live and CHOOSING to grow and get better and keep hoping!!!!#it makes me SO insane #the thesis i think really is ''and then you put the fire out'' bc that's.. a very specific but succinct way of summing it up #you can let everything burn down around you- life work hopes dreams- because of the pain and maybe that would #make it all stop hurting. ''if this place goes away it'll take all my anxiety with it''#and it isn't carmy who says then you put the fire out- it's MARCUS who says it and then carmy repeats it #(this is from ep5 sorry skskjfhdk it really is the thesis moment tho)#bc not only is it about making that choice to ''put the fire out'' and keep on living #but also. it isn't a one-person thing. you cannot do it alone he can't do it alone!!!#there needs to be COMMUNITY!!!! richie putting out the actual fire towards the end of the show etc etc etc #syd is the sharpie that works she's the missing piece!!!#idk why i can write meta better in tags shdhssj whoops #this ask may have made my day btw ily <3 #Lu rambles #asks #meta finding tag #the bear #BTW GRACIE BABE when u get to watch the rest pleeeeease feel free to throw Thoughts into my inbox 👀#i eagerly await your opinions on the rest of it skksskkskks

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figtreeandvine · 5 months

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I want to write a movie that is sort of the flip side of a Hallmark holiday movie. Not an anti-Hallmark movie, just like the other side of the same coin.

It starts with a well-dressed professional woman driving a convertible along a country road, autumn foliage in the background, terribly scenic. She turns onto a dirt road/long driveway, and stops next to a field of Christmas trees, all growing in neat, ordered rows, perfectly trimmed and pruned to form. She steps out of the car--no, she's not wearing high-heels, give her some sense!--and knocks on the door of a worn but nice-looking farmhouse. An older woman, late fifties maybe, answers the door, looking a bit puzzled. The younger woman asks if she can buy a Christmas tree now, today. The older woman says they don't do retail sales--and the younger woman breaks down crying.

Cut to the two women sitting at the kitchen table with cups of tea. The young woman (Michelle), no longer actively crying, explains that her mother loves Christmas more than anything, but is in the hospital with end-stage cancer. Her doctors don't think she'll live to see December, let alone Christmas. Nobody is selling Christmas trees in September, so could the older woman please make an exception, just this once? The older woman (Helen) regretfully explains that they have a contract to sell their trees that forbids outside sales. The younger woman nods, starts to stand up, but the older woman stops her with a hand and asks her what hospital her mother is in. After she answers the older woman says that "my Joe" will deliver a tree the next day. "Contract says I can't sell you a tree, but nothing says I can't give you one."

Next day "Joe" shows up at the hospital in flannel and jeans, with a smallish tree over her shoulder. Oh, whoops, that's Jo, Helen's daughter, short for Joanna, not Joe. Jo sets up the tree and even pulls out a box of lights and ornaments. Mother watches from hospital bed with a big smile as Jo and Michelle decorate the tree. Cue "end of movie" type sappiness as nurses and other patients gather in the doorway, smiling at the tree.

Cut to Michelle sitting in her dark apartment, clutching a mug of tea, staring out at the falling snow and the Christmas lights outside. Her apartment has no tree, no decorations, nothing. She starts at a knock on the door, goes to open it. Jo is standing there, again holding a tree over her shoulder.

Plot develops: the second tree is a gift, because Michelle might as well get it as the bank. The contract for the tree sales was an /option/ contract, which prevents them from selling to anyone else, but doesn't guarantee the sale. The corporation with the option isn't going to buy the trees, but Helen and Jo can't sell them anywhere else, and basically they get nothing. They'll lose the farm without the year's income. Michelle asks to see the contract and Jo promises to email it to her.

Next day at a very upscale law firm, Michelle asks at the end of a staff meeting if anyone in contract law still needs pro bono hours for the year. No one does, but a senior partner (Abe) takes her to his office and asks about it. She says the contract looks hinky to her ("Is that a legal term?" "Yes.") but contract law's not her thing. He raises an eyebrow and she grins and pulls a sheaf of paper out of her bag and hands it over. He reads it over, then looks up at her. "They signed this?"

More plot develops. Abe calls in underlings--interns, paralegals, whatever--and the contract is examined, dissected, and ultimately shredded (metaphorically). It's worse even than it looks--on January 1st Helen and Jo will have to repay the advanced they received at signing. The corporation has bought up a suspicious number of Christmas tree farms in previous years after foreclosure, etc.

Cut to Abe explaining all this to Helen and Jo while sitting with them and Michelle in a very swanky conference room. The firm is willing to take on the case pro bono, hopefully as a class's action suit for other farmers trapped by the contract--but there's no way it can go to court before January. Which will be too late to save the farm's income for the year. They might get enough in damages to tide them over, but….

After Michelle sees Helen and Jo out, she comes back and asks Abe if there's anything they can do immediately. Abe looks thoughtful for a long moment, then gets a really shark-like grin on his face. "Maybe…."

Cut to Helen wearing a bathrobe, coming into her kitchen in the morning. She looks out the window…and there's a food truck stopped in her driveway. She pulls a coat on over her robe and goes out--two more trucks have pulled up while she does this. Driver of the first truck asks her where they park. Another truck pulls up behind the others. Behind that is a black BMW--Abe rolls down the window and waves. Helen directs the trucks to the empty field/yard next to the house. Abe pulls up next to Helen's car and Jo's truck and parks. He and Michelle get out--Abe wearing a total power suit, Michelle in weekend casual.

The case will be easier if the corporation initially sues them for violating the (uninforcible!) contract, rather than them suing to corporation (damn if I know, but it's movie logic). So they're going to sell the trees now, and rounded up some food trucks and whatnot to draw people in.

Cue montage of Jo and Michelle running around helping people set up while Abe and Helen watch from the kitchen table. The table starts out covered in file folders…and slowly gains coffee cups and plates of cinnamon rolls. It becomes increasingly clear here that Abe and Helen are becoming as close as Jo and Michelle.

Everything gets set up and a very urban, very motley crowd appears--tats and studs and multiracial couples and LGBTQ parents and everything--and everyone is having a wonderful time eating funnel cake and choosing their tree so Jo and a bunch of rainbow-haired elves can cut it for them. At which point someone shows up from the corporation (maybe with a sheriff's deputy?) and starts yelling at Helen, who's running checkout. And suddenly Abe appears from the house and you realize why he's wearing that suit on a Saturday….

Cue confrontation and corporate flunky running off with their tail between their legs, blustering about suing. Cue Jo kissing Michelle. Cue Helen walking over and putting a hand on Abe's shoulder and smiling at her.

I want the lawyers to be the heroes because they are lawyers and know the law. I want a lesbian who lives in the country with her mother. I want urbanites to turn out as a community to help someone who isn't even part of their community. I want Michelle to keep working at her high-power job, loving Christmas and grieving her mother.

#hallmark #anti-hallmark #movie plot

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