#i can't even try to deal w/ myself kindly rn

[badcountryofficial]

i put 5 fucking years of hard work into getting to the place i was i put 5 years into this and all i get back is this stupid return to my stupid little dysregulated high school self and i ‘m fucking going to lose it truly and honestly

edit: just like the fact that it’s been 5 years of working so hard only for it to get thrown back in my face, it feels like

#NOT TONIGHT MAYBE BUT #IF I DON'T DEAL W SHIT? SOON #SOON! #5 years. 5 fuckin years lmao. #and it feels like for nothing #i'm so pissed right now #ohhhhohohohhh i am so angry #i can't even try to deal w/ myself kindly rn #i fucking hate him??? sometimes??? jsut???? #i hate him!!!!!!! #edit: boy my therapist is in for a treat tmrw #and i'm in for a treat rn #my brain is giving me some very interesting FUCKING thoughts #by interesting i mean infuriating and depressing