#i can't feel your emotion

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[gayofthefae]

We don't envision season 5 right when we talk because what is that actually gonna be like? This isn't a romcom. Mike finds out about the painting but Will is like throwing up blood and slugs in the corner.

edit: to clarify I wasn't saying "no time for romance" I was saying "it's horror show with raises stakes and angst. Mike will have to figure out how to bring up this truth bomb he discovered when more important things are clearly going on and there aren't the most conversational opportunities". I mean MORE juice, not less.

#stranger things #byler predictions #byler #stranger things speculations #like genuinely he will find out and be STALLED #because there are more important matters #like how do you be mad at your friend who's actively dying #(and also you're in love with) #we know there's a lot of complicated feelings about the painting but imagine getting hit with all those WITHIN the circumstance of whatever #horror shit #i think they will tie the two together like how season 2 created space for the emotions of the shed scene by intertwining them but #it IS more complicated to find out a big truth bomb about someone who is PREOCCUPIED to say the least #mike is like “ a year and a half ago you lied to me ” #and will is like “and 30 seconds ago i was crawling around on the ceiling catch up wheeler” #like you can't just interrupt with that personal life stuff #the writers can fit it i know that

[ruby-cloud]

  Once my familiar, also my bodyguard. Always my friend.

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #what we do in the shadows fanart #wwdits fanart #nandermo #nandor x guillermo #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandor #harvey guillen #harvey guillén #kayvan novak #THE PURE HOMOEROTISM OF THEIR FIGHT #I am feeling so many emotions about this moment I can't 😶😶😶 #imagine leaving your wife/bf to do THIS with your ''closest companion for 13 years'' hahahashaa😐haha😐😐😐i know what you are😐😐

[tapakah0]

I'M SORRY I don't like to put something little mine with the great stories I love so much but *inhales* @somerandomdudelmao, @kathaynesart, are you okay with doing this???? *Puts you both in the "Bucket of suffering"*

#rottmnt #cass apocalyptic series #somerandomdudelmao #replica #kathaynesart #life of violence era #BUT WITHOUT jokes I JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW MUCH EMOTIONS I GET FROM YOUR COMICS #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #I mean you're the reason I can stay up all night drawing something or wake up veeeery early just to look if there's an update #**** I'm being clingy again sorry #I've got enough powers and gotta speedrun animatic because I feel like after these 2 chapters I'll need to start something bigger... #Replica my sunshine I'm waiting for opportunity to catch this sparks of joy to do something for you

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep #the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them #really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying? #before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over #before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this #which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground #in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween #and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return #don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here #right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing #on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate. #maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe #but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts #long post

[tora-the-cat]

An interesting little fun thing with team 7 is that you assume that Sakura's gonna, like, woobify and simplify Sasuke by putting him on a pedastal,cause her goal is centered around him and shes a 12 y/o fangirl so like of course her understanding of him is skewed cause she doesnt see him as a person, just an object of affection, right? She's can't get Sasuke, can't imprint on and/or traumabond with him like Naruto and Kakashi do. They don't see him with rose tinted glasses, because they've lived through their own Horrors and empathize with Sasuke's experience.

......right?

WRONG lmao!! They have too many ghosts!! Naruto's single-minded codependent ass won't get out of his own way long enough to see Sasuke for who he actually is, only able to empathize with the parts of his trauma Naruto relates to and not really capable of understanding him outside of the context of himself (because Sasuke is. His other half). And Kakashi is far too jaded to be fair to him!! He can't decide if Sasuke is gonna end up as a mini-him or a mini-Obito or maybe a mini-Itachi, but either way he ALSO is too traumatized to see Sasuke AS SASUKE.

meanehile SAKURA'S autistic ass may have dogshit empathy, but you know what she does have? A special interest in sasuke. Nothing better to do then give herself a degree in Uchihaisms. She can write character studies about him. she can read his soul. Whenever she says something about him she is right. Every fucking time! She is RIGHT!!!!

'sasuke would NOT compliment me this directly or explicitly express worry unprompted, especially if it gets in the way of his goals' correct.

'Sasuke shouldn't hide that curse on his neck its not healthy BUT if I tell anyone about it he'll never trust me again, which might be even more dangerous for him then the curse mark. Like he can probably handle the curse mark but no one else can stop him from ripping peoples arms off.' correct.

Speaking of! 'Sasuke would not hurt me even when he seems to be...possessed? whatever the only way to knock him out of it is to present myself as Alive and thus something to be protected rather then something to be avenged, because he gets really stuck in his own head about revenge' CORRECT

'hey so um. like. Sasuke's gonna leave Konoha. I'm not sure anything can stop him at this point and honestly I'm kinda starting to doubt anything should, so the only thing I could possibly do to help him at this point is ALSO defect.' CORRECT!!!!

#shout out to @Obihoe cause this started as a tag comment on one of your posts that got WAY too out of hand. just like old times lol #team 7 #haruno sakura #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #team crackhead #naruto #naruto uzumaki #sasusaku #doesn't have to be but like. Yeah #for the record no disrespect to my boys Naruto n Kakashi I love them dearly. but like. they got their issues. that's half the fun of team 7 #And Sakura has her problems with Sasuke too!! But her problems have nothing to do with understand him or his motivations or his personhood #and more to do with. Well. her absolute dogshit empathy. Emotionally disregulated ass. #'if you leave me I'll feel just like you did when your parents died' My beloved. Iconic. Great line. No notes. She's really just still so #inexperienced and naive that means she can explain and predict and KNOW him and his actions but still not empathize. She can say shit #like that with a straight face because she's never FELT loss like this before (except that minute she thought he was dead on the bridge) #so she can't imagine a worse pain. Just assumes it can't GET worse because she has no emotional concept of 'worse'. so it must be the same #she's literally the only person with a chance of convincing Sasuke to take her with him to Orochimaru because he's SASUKE of course she #knows all the right pressure points and keywords and concerns and stuff that she needs to convince him. #she's literally playing a little diolouge tree game with him. And maybe even winning up until that line! it's the dealbreaker

[dead-core]

craving validation from exactly the wrong person. slay

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd vent #bpd mood #girl you can't just do this every time you want to talk to someone and they don't read your mind and text you #how to explain to people that i am not just insane in love relationships i'm insane about everyone i know and they are not an exception #baby i have wild and insane platonic abandonment issues too (friends with that guy again but we will absolutely never be as close as before) #codependent best friendship where other person gets pissy and decides not to be my friend all the time #losing my best friend over and over #sometiems bc i was being a bitch but sometimes bc i shared too much about my mental health or said the wrong thing #never knowing what the emotional support threshold is or what the new wrong thing could be #and i was insane and way too attached like codependence has such a nasty side when it's not mutual anymore #and i'm WORKING ON SHIT and taking my favorite people off their pedestals and blah blah blah #anyway guess that still has me fucked up

[starflungwaddledee]

this is a long shot and i'm sorry to ask, but if you don't mind, can mutuals (or contacts or regulars... just... this community) of mine who aren't jumping ship like... let me know? will any of us still be here? is it over? i'm trying to know if this really is it or what's... even happening. i hate to reassurance seek but i'm feeling pretty miserable and confused.

edit: felt like i was being really pitiful and fragile making this but everybody is being so nice to me and responding so patiently with all your thoughts and i'm in tears of gratitude thank you thank you thank you 💖

#i glanced and thought they brought out a feature so that we could turn off ai access #that seemed... okay? i thought? but now i'm really confused. i don't know. i'm so tired and scared. i just can't... keep doing this #i know this is stupid but this feels like it's my fault. #it happens every time i find something. if i'm happy somewhere. it just.... poof. goes away. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry #on the edit: i would only *ever* think this about myself. double standards that i hold for myself are high. i expect emotional control #& performance from myself only. i would never think badly of anyone else being stressed about this or anything. thank you for your kindness #this community has been so beautiful and kind at every turn. i'm so grateful to get to be here and meet you all #okay... being really sappy now. y'all get to see my anxiety first hand today!! whee!! anyway. i'll get it together. haha! thank you.

[bonefall]

I can't see how the writers still think Skystar's a good person. Like, twelve year old me liked him and thought he was interesting, but I was like twelve. And even I knew he was an irredeemable asshole after Moth Flight's Vision. If a twelve year old can figure this stuff out I have no idea what these grown ass writers were doing.

DOTC has a thesis, stated in The First Battle, that really explains everything.

"Fear and Greed" is just a fake-deep way to reinvent a Good and Evil dichotomy. Because Clear Sky's abuse comes from a place of fear, it means it's not malicious, unlike a "greedy" cat.

He can be "soothed," ergo, he's a fundamentally good person.

Post-First Battle, the books are focusing constantly on his feelings, how sad it makes him to not be trusted, how happy he is when people are on his side. All while he continues to screech at people who tell him what to do, manipulate and mistreat his son, and even still beats and mauls those who offend him.

But because it's "fear," that doesn't matter. That's a justification, an excuse. The writers don't seem to believe in good and bad actions as much as they do good and bad people. True 'evil' comes from a person who hurts others for the wrong reasons, like 'revenge' or malice.

It's abuse apologia. Plain and simple.

The truth is that abusers don't think of themselves as evil people, and everyone, even you and me, is capable of being toxic or abusive. Talk to those who have been abused and we'll tell you; we often stayed because we "saw the good," or even felt responsible for them. Abuse can be passed down through generations because the kids come to believe the way they were treated was normal and okay.

If you go through life thinking that abuse only comes from evil/greedy people, you won't see it when it happens right in front of you. Fundamental good and evil is childish. Abuse comes from fear all the time.

Abuse is about power and control. Fear of rejection, of losing someone, of pain, those are all very common motivators as the abuser tries to stop them from happening before they even begin. It doesn't MATTER that your abuser is in pain too, you NEVER "deserved" what they did in an attempt to break your legs so you wouldn't run.

But... we can all change. Even the worst of us. It's never too late to stop hurting others, move on to a better life, but some people never will. Skystar loves his power, and he keeps that power no matter how many times he misuses it.

He has no reason to change as long as his cruelty rewards him with status and authority.

But the writers are incapable of recognizing that, because for this entire arc, they were stuck in an absurd view of the world in terms of Fear and Greed. Abuse can be excused if he did it for the "right reason," and that makes him "fundamentally different" from the truly evil villains, Slash and One Eye.

Hopefully, it now makes more sense to you.

#I am completely sincere when I say that I am legitimately concerned for the mental health of these writers sometimes #It's a lot of words to say. Again. That evil is really really simple. #It feels good to get what you want. #Power gets you what you want-- Security. Assurance. Respect. #Everyone wants these things. #It's not about having a twisted and sadistic soul #I'm sure those exist out there. But they're so so rare #And you will get hurt if you need to believe that the only person it's okay to leave or distrust or hate is a literal monster #You can leave anyone who tries to control and hurt you actually!! #Even if they're in emotional pain and insist that they NEED YOU #You didn't deserve it! You never did! It's okay! They didn't need to be a monster. And you're not one for leaving either. #Or resenting them. Or recognizing that they can't be trusted. #Of course... well. Clear Sky DOES act like a monster in this text. #Gouging out people's eyes and slaughtering innocent women #But most of the time irl your abuser didn't like. Kill someone lmao #At some point the metaphor breaks down #BUT!!! #cw abuse #dotc hate #Clear Sky #Skystar #Anyway casting spell of I Love You on every abuse survivor who feels a connection here #bone babble

[aspennntree]

since we only see the fucking. what do i call it. this thing.

when theyre alone do we think oscar has told the others about these weird merge episodes? because it doesnt seem like they know...

#chat i am thinking about this so much #no cause ren said 'oscar just...isnt himself' like does he know whats wrong. does he know. oscar are you talking to your friends. #also im pretty sure oscar was implying that this like. isnt a normal part of the merge. which im now thinking about what the fuck this is #makin another post about it #rwby #tree talks #oscar pine #ozmosis #ozpin #tree can't shut up about oscar pine #no you just know theyre isolating themselves when they can also. like he is not talking to them #i know that because ren is like how the hell did jaune get these bitches to talk to him. #like i feel like they dont know #'like minded' = emotional repression #i dont even know if oscar told them what magic does to them #like if there was any time to bring that up it was when telling everyone about oz being back and that what he did was magic #and he. didnt. #like hes not gonna bring it up of his own accord. hed probably only mention these like merging episodes #is if someone was with one while one happened #i dunno im rambling #i just want to make angst...

[thevioletcaptain]

if you as a fic reader ever become possessed by the urge to do a popularity bracket with the fics other people wrote and shared for fun and for free, consider:

don't ❤️ 

#just!!!! make a rec list!!!!!!!!! #popularity contests do nothing but drive writers out of fandoms by pitting people against their friends #and invariably result in people being assholes in the comments as if the people who wrote the fic can't see it #like ''oh clearly fic x is better than fic y'' #or ''why is fic c even in this poll?'' #nobody gains anything by you doing a bracket to see which fic is the ''most popular'' #a stat which could be found more easily & less cruelly by simply hitting the sort by bookmarks/kudos button on ao3 #anyway ugh. i saw that one of my fics was being pitted against one of my friend's fics in this bracket that's going around #and i have no idea who is ''winning'' because i refuse to look. but either way it's gonna feel bad!!! #because i want my friend to get his flowers so i want him to win!!! but i also would like to know that people like my fic!!!! #so it's just a lose/lose situation even though i generally don't give a shit about numbers #but this turns it into a schoolyard popularity thing #and the emotional response to having people *vote* on if your work is *better or worse* than other fic is hard to ignore #cannot reiterate enough JUST MAKE A REC LIST #or if you absolutely must do a bracket like this do it in a private chat server or something #don't create a public forum for people to pass value judgements where the authors can see it #and feel bad if they get told their fic is ''worse'' than someone elses #but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough #ANYWAY i still feel sick with a super sore throat and a headache & am probably extra cranky because of it #(still testing negative thankfully so it's probably just weather/allergen related) #gonna go make some tea and prep the fic updates i want to post today #cass says things #fandom problems #wank adjacent

[shannonsketches]

he's so important to me

#i guess i need to watch the anime but super's manga has just been a self-indulgent fever dream for me from start to finish #100000/10 absolutely perfect so validating so extremely catered to my tastes and headcanons and analyses and humor #so fucking funny and emotional and intense and goofy and beautifully drawn #my beautiful son getting to finally fucking see his HARD won character growth fucking shine and choose love and choose to be loved!!!!!! #Goku just being Goku Vegeta being Team Dad Piccolo being Team Grandpa Bulma being a fucking superstar keeping everybody organized and fed #god i love this squad i love this series i love these dumbasses and their struggles and their triumphs and their stupid childish bonding #I love that Toriyama just spent the last several years reminding the class that DB as a whole has always been an ACTION-COMEDY about LOVE #and I'm SO sad that the z anime really never did it justice in that sense because of having to fill time with dramatic tension but god. GOD #THE MANGA HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO CLEAR ON THAT THESIS. #Just all about Restorative Justice and Community and CARING even when you wish SO MUCH that you didn't care but yoU DO GODDAMMIT!!! #SUCH a great series I'm so sad it took losing mr t for me to finally read it but my god I needed to read it now and I'm so glad he wrote it #and i'm SO glad he wrote it Exactly Like This #once again rip to a legend i'm caught up and crying it's so perfect it's SO everything I've wanted to see onscreen and embedded in canon #and canon isn't everything but it still feels gREAT to be SO 1:1 on the same page with an author re: how you interpret your blorbo yknow??? #been rotating this man in my head for 25 years and Mr Toriyama just mWAH kissed me on the forehead about it #anyway enough tag rambles I'm off again aklsjla #bonus for that kenpachi shit and letting him say 'sorry dude I can't be cold and numb anymore but this is still cathartic as fuck lol' like #mr t i hope you see the HIGHEST tier of heaven for that (and obviously for like everything all of it the whole life you led)

[daz4i]

how many times do we gotta go over it man. thought crime isn't real. it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. don't let anyone make you feel guilty for having some reflex reaction to stimuli in a way that is out of your control. the question isn't what you think or how you feel, but what you do. do you act upon those thoughts? do you harm others bc of your feelings? that's where you draw the line. keep it in your brain. vent it out in some personal way like a journal or a password locked blog. it's okay i promise

#saw a post abt sex repulsion that i mostly agreed with #until op said being disgusted by like. other people having sex is wrong #and like. i agree that if this is your knee jerk reaction you might need to look into it #but sometimes. it really is just disgust of the idea. like it's none of my business but i still find it unpleasant to see or think about #and as someone who feels guilty constantly abt everything. this is actually smth i don't feel guilty over #bc it's just an emotion and like i can't really help it. but also. I'm not hurting anyone by cringing on the inside #i don't think guilting people for feeling a negative emotion is gonna make them unlearn it i think you're just gonna make them feel awful - #- over a very normal human experience (aka. emotions). all this would lead to is ppl hating themselves for smth they can't help #it's not that deep i just got very mad at that phrasing lol esp bc it was aimed at teenagers #a group that is way more vulnerable to this sort of shit in part due to already experiencing emotions more intensely #tldr: don't do that shit man. encourage positive behavior not thought policing

[u3pxx]

ha get language barrier'd on my ramble posts idiot

#DFGHDJFDGH #sorry. u know like when ur feeling a strong emotion ur mother tongue comes out. yeah #sunnysiderambles #if i sleep my problem off would that work or do i just have to agonizingly wait for the inevitable 'we can't accept your submission' LOL 😁 #fingers crossed that. my professor is kind jesus christ

[nonoqy]

i feel like i didn't really say anything publicly which makes me sound maybe too harsh at times but this is where i'm at. sorry i was too lazy to retype all of this so i'm just sharing screenies of my thoughts !

#and to be clear i do believe they deserve to hear harsh words right now! in fact they need it #the backlash has already started to impact them and i think stepping away from content creation for some time could help them even more #i do not blame anyone who decides to stay in the fandom but i just can't do that myself it's exhausting #anyway i wish we can all heal from this as soon as possible and i hope george especially does a lot of thinking and works on himself #no matter what you think about the situation itself his response was just not good at all #being apologetic and empathetic to the person that is visibly hurt by your actions even if you feel like you didn't do anything wrong #is not hard at all. it's actually very easy when you're emotionally mature #and he needs to finally after Twenty Seven Years of his life learn how to handle emotions

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is realizing that no matter how hard you try, you just lack the ability to see a lot of nuance in your friends’ romantic struggles beyond what logically makes sense… so you begin to space out whenever they enter lengthy conversations about dating struggles that you’ve heard over and over again, because the only response you can think of is “that sucks” or “you deserve better, move on”. But these are probably best left unsaid, so you say nothing at all and let the alloros handle it

.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #honestly the best i've got is to validate their emotions and suggest communication #and if communication breaks down... folks seriously gotta enforce boundaries. #like... *actual* enforced boundaries none of the empty threats shit #aka 'i've asked you to either put your dirty clothes in the laundry or work with me on an alternate solution and you've done neither. i wil #not do your laundry until you change your behavior.' and STICK. WITH. IT. #or the classic communication of boundaries: if you can't trust them to communicate or respect boundaries on the regular... BREAK. UP. #a healthy relationship does NOT contain feeling ignored and disrespected on the regular