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blue-sadie · 4 months

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The Ones I Don't Remember

Moon System x Wife Reader

Series Masterlist

Prt 1 of the Different Versions Series

Summary: waiting is more tiring then being together, what changed was it you or him?

Warning: car crash

Yn/3rd person pov

I huffed lightly as I played with the cold food on my plate, I was waiting for him but I knew it was a lost cause my eyes lazily moved over the clean apartment that I cleaned and decorated for this very special occasion.

I'd be lucky to even get a 'looks good' from one of them, I sighed dropping my fork onto the plate running my hands over my face "I'm so tired" I whispered the feeling of hurt crowding my heart again I let my hands fall to my sides as I got up rolling my shoulders to rid of the stress.

I picked up the two full plates of food putting them into his microwave and grabbing a few containers to put away the left overs, my phone buzzed with a notification but I ignored it putting the leftovers into the fridge, it buzzed a few more times before it turned into my ring tone echoing through the apartment.

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before picking it up "hel-" I spoke but got interrupted by his rigid breathing "come pick me up" he muttered I already know who was talking.

"Marc w-" he didn't let me finish my sentence before hanging up another notification was him sending me his location "unbelievable" I let out a forced laugh as I rolled my eyes.

I grabbed my keys and coat taking my time to get to my car, he made me wait so I'm making him wait, I sighed getting into the car putting the key in with a click the radio started to play softly as I turned the car on, the soft tones slightly calming me down.

I pulled out the parking of his building only glancing at my phone for directions "on our fucking anniversary" I spat my knuckles turning white as I gripped the steering wheel.

It was 30 minutes to get to Marc's location it was in the outskirts of the city, it was a dimly lit road only surrounded by a few abandoned buildings I couldn't see anything in till I squinted looking carefully I saw the wreckage of about 6 cars the puddles of blood but no bodies.

"What the fuck" I muttered bringing the car into a holt "what have you done" I whispered unbuckling my seat belt and climbed out looking at the damage that has been down.

"Finally" I jumped as he landed infront of me his suit overed in blood and his mask was off his face littered in splats of blood and tiny cuts "what the fuck happened" I muttered gesturing to the mess.

"That's none of your concern" he grumbled as he rounded the car to get to the other side "kinda is when your covered in blood" I muttered my anger slowly raising as we climbed into the car.

"Its not mine so it shouldn't matter" he sighed using one of his hands to run a hand over his face leaning on the car door his eyes staring dead ahead.

I bit the inside of my cheek holding back on my anger "but why tonight" I asked my voice bearly louder then a whisper he huffed turning his head towards me his eyes glaring holes in the side of my head.

"Yea like I can tell a God to wait till tomorrow" he muttered, my heart pinged with pain 'but you used to do that' I thought back to the good times before everything turned to shit.

The date nights he planned, to him showing up at my work with 2 dozen roses and my favorite coffee or when he forgot a date the lengths he went through to make it up to me what changed?

I glanced at him my eyes filled with hurt "what happened to us" I murmured my voice slightly wavering he dropped his head growling in annoyance "let's not talk about this yn" he didn't even use my nickname anymore.

My eyes glazed over with tears as I bit my lip "we have to talk about it sometime" he groaned as I spoke again I could see him clench his fists tightly "we could work this o-".

"Just stop ok" I tensed as he raised his voice at me "there's nothing to fix because it can't be ok" he seethed with anger a silent cry rippled through my body and I turned my head away so he couldn't see my tears but that's when I saw it.

"Marc" I murmured but he didn't answer "marc" I said making him shout again "wha-" but he couldn't finish a car had rammed into us hard making us swerve into the barrier "fuck" I cried out in pain as the indent squished my leg and my head collided with the door.

Marc's eyes stared at me with concern and pain of his own but he didn't speak "Marc d-dont leave me" I cried as he got out "no" he yelled and another impact made the car flip over the barrier.

I screamed out as the car rolled only stopping with it came into contact with a tree landing upside down I cried out more as the metal dug into my leg my blood running dripping onto the roof beside my head.

I looked around trying to look for something to help me pry me out but there was nothing "marc" I yelled but started coughing soon after my lungs felt like they were collapsing.

My eyes started becoming hazy and my mind foggy I must have lost alot of blood I reached out my hand to grab a hold of the metal that was impaling my leg, I screamed out as I slowly pulled it out of my leg with my remaining strength.

"Fuck" I yelled the pain and blood only increasing "yn" I heard marc called and his thundering footsteps fast approaching "yn" his voice was filled with panic as he came to a stop at my door.

He pulled open the door his breath hitching as he saw my state he carefully kneeled down beside me pushing his arms underneath me, I cried out in pain as he lifted me up.

I heard him speak but the words were muffled "t-tired" I whimpered my eyes becoming more heavier with each passing second, the only good thing was the pain was slowly subsided my eyes slowly fluttered shut.

"Stay with me stay with me don't you dare close your eyes"

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ranwing · 3 months

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Personal stuff (feel free to ignore)

Two weeks ago was the 3rd anniversary of losing mom, and admittedly I've been rather down for the past few weeks. I can't believe that so much time has passed, and that it still feels like yesterday. I started thinking a lot about those days when she was on hospice care when I lay in bed at night and the moments when it was clear that she was slipping away. There was the moment when I asked her who I was and she didn't recognize me. The moment when she lost the ability to swallow and I had to clean what she tried to eat for breakfast out of her mouth. I remember when the nurses explained that what I thought was sweat was her body forcing all of it's fluid out through the skin which was a clear sign that she might have only a week or two left. And watching my father holding her hand, sleeping in a chair next to her bed and telling her that it was okay to go.

There were so many wonderful things for my family after we lost Mom. My niece was awarded her PhD in psychology and is well on her way to making a name for herself in her field. My nephew graduated college and is starting to build his own career. My niece got married last October and yesterday she came over to tell us that she and her husband are now expecting their first child. There have been so many things that would have filled Mom with so much joy because there was nothing she loved more than her family. She would already be starting work on knitting a blanket for my niece's baby. When my niece told us, I started crying because all I can think about is how Mom was robbed of this. That her child will never know her great-grandmother and what an amazing person she was.

Mom wasn't just my parent, but one of my very best friends. We did so much together. I took her to see Adam Lambert in concert because we both loved him. We did Civil war reenacting with my dad and I remember the blue dress that she always wore for the first event of the season that ended up in every picture, which we called the FBD (fucking blue dress). I would take her to the Renaissance Faire with me, and dress her up in my spare corset and wench gear. She would read my fanfiction, offering suggestions and edits. We had so many wonderful, funny, amazing moments together and now it's all over. I can't begin to count the number of times when even now, my instinct is to call her from the office and just see how her day was going.

I've been crying a lot lately. A lot of people that have been through a similar loss warned that the pain will never entirely go away. It's long enough that the wound on my heart is now a scar, but it still hurt. I want to reach the point where the memories are bittersweet and not just painful. I want to think of her as she was in life and not those last moments when I lost her. It just hurts that life is going on and she is not a part of it beyond being a memory. It's not fair and I hate that she was taken away from me. It doesn't matter that I'm a woman in her 50s who had my own life. There are still those moments that I just wanted my Mom.

Thanks for listening. It's been a rough few weeks.

#personal stuff #grief journey #dealing with loss

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bagelisfriend · 8 months

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Today is my 3rd year anniversary of starting HRT!

I've been taking hormones so long now that it's hard to remember all of my reasons that made me finally take the plunge. But what I can point to is how happy I am now and recognizing that I had never been so involved in myself and the world around me before I transitioned. It's insane how much love I have in my heart for everybody and everything when I feel comfortable with myself.

I have grown a lot as a person this past year and have met some amazing people and am currently in extremely loving relationships. None of this would have been possible if I ignored the nagging voice in my head telling me that something was wrong and something had to change. I am so grateful every day that I took that first step 3 years ago, and I can't wait to see how I continue to grow in years to come.

Also I have a lot of gay sex now.

#personal #hrt #trans pride #trans joy

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twwpress · 29 days

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Weekly Press Briefing #90: March 10th - 16th

Welcome back to the Weekly Press Briefing, where we bring you highlights from The West Wing fandom each week, including new fics, ongoing challenges, and more! This briefing covers all things posted from March 10 - March 16, 2024. Did we miss something? Let us know; you can find our contact info at the bottom of this briefing!

Challenges/Prompts:

Do you have a challenge or event you’d like us to promote or know of one we’re missing? Be sure to get in touch with us! Contact info is at the bottom of this briefing.

@thefinestmuffin and @JessBakesCakes are hosting the 3rd Annual Josh/Donna Rom-Com Fest. The fest revealed on February 14, but prompts and claims are still open and fics can still be added to the collection. Details here.

This Week in Canon:

Welcome back to This Week in Canon, where we revisit moments in The West Wing that occurred on these dates during the show’s run.

Season 2, Episode 17: The Stackhouse Filibuster aired on March 14, 2001.

Season 6, Episode 19: Ninety Miles Away aired on March 16, 2005.

Season 7, Episode 13: The Cold aired on March 12, 2006.

Photos/Videos:

Here’s what was posted from March 10 – March 16:

Dule Hill posted a video in support of fundraising for Private School Axis in LA.

Dule Hill posted photos of himself and his family getting ready for and attending the NAACP Image Awards.

Marlee Matlin posted photos from her daughter’s baby shower.

Mary McCormack posted family photos in memory of her mother, who has passed away.

Peter James Smith posted a screenshot of his recent audition self-tapes.

Rob Lowe posted photos from Oscars night.

Rob Lowe posted a photo of himself and his sons next to a Lowe motorboat.

No Context BWhit: March 10 | March 12 | March 14 | March 15 | March 16

@janneyupdates: March 13 | March 14 | March 14 (2)

Editors’ Choice:

In honor of the anniversary of the premiere of 7.13 “The Cold”, have some of our favorite fics centered around or involving that episode! Be sure to share some of your favorites, too.

i’m all for you (body and soul) by hanyolo | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | Josh sits back with a dejected sigh, can’t help but think that maybe this is just one of those things, yet another reminder from the universe that he and Donna aren’t meant to happen. But it doesn’t feel like that anymore. Not after this morning, not after the terrible year he spent without her. No, it feels like maybe the stars are finally aligning, like this might be their last chance, so he jumps to his feet, all but pushing Bram aside as he sidesteps the table and jogs the length of the terrace. “Josh, what —“ Ronna starts to ask him, but he ignores her, can feel both her and Bram watching him with a burning curiosity as he tries to stop her before it’s too late. // me watching the cold: i can fix that your heart on my mind by hufflepuffhermione | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | It's as if looking at her can trigger a memory, and any facts he’s supposed to be using to corral donors slip his mind when he looks at her and feels her lips on his again. I feel terrible, he had told her, but he might have been lying, because even some of the best polls he’s seen over the course of this brutal campaign don’t make him feel as good, as warm, as the memory of that morning last week. Josh can't stop thinking about the first time he and Donna kissed. the other side of the door by sam_writes_fics | Rated M | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | Donna wanders out of the bathroom, baffled by how late it is for the hundredth night in a row, and she drapes her coat over a chair before moving to plug in her cell phone. The blinking light catches her attention, and she flips it open. One missed call. From Josh. Perfect. // post-ep for 7x13: The Cold With One Hello, I’ll Never Be the Same by JessBakesCakes | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | “Hi.” “Hi.” It's all he can say at the moment - they've always been able to say so much with just one word, and this moment is no different. Or: Josh and Donna and how 'hi' means so much more than 'hello'. cause you know that it’s delicate by pumpkinpatch95 | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | "It was new, the two of them eating lunch together." 5 times Josh and Donna snuck in dates, starting when she joined the Santos campaign. 5 times they got caught.

Fics:

Presenting your weekly roundup of fics posted in the tag for The West Wing on Archive of Our Own.

Josh/Donna

Somebody Loved by JessBakesCakes | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

Self-Evaluation by Telperien | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

Abbey/Jed

The First Lady by unseenacademic | Rated T | | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | In Progress

We had a deal by Labda | Not Rated | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | In Progress

Other Pairings/Gen Fic

it started off with a kiss... now it ended up like this by imawkwardlysoc | Rated G | Sam Seaborn/Original Female Character | Complete

An Intriguing Variable by silasfinch for justdreaming88 | Rated T | Ellie Bartlet/Original Female Character(s) | In Progress

Multiple Pairings

Children of the Apocalypse by murph283031 | Rated T | Leo McGarry/Annabeth Schott, Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Mallory O'Brien/Sam Seaborn, Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | In Progress

THE WEEKLY PRESS BRIEFING TEAM CAN BE REACHED VIA THE FOLLOWING METHODS:

Twitter: @TWWPress

Email: [email protected]

Feel free to let us know if we missed something, if you have an event you’d like us to promote, or if you have an item that you’d like included in the next briefing!

xx, What’s next?

#weekly press briefing #the west wing #tww #tww fandom #tww fic #west wing #josh lyman #donna moss #cj cregg #sam seaborn #toby ziegler #the cold #joshdonna #abbeyjed #tww rare pairs

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suzdotranslation · 3 months

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[Interview TL] Holostars 3rd Anniversary special long interview with 1st gen - Part Two

Source

The flagship raised together with the fans– What kinds of "future" that Hanasaki Miyabi, Kanade Izuru, Arurandeisu, and Rikka dreamed of? Male VTuber group "Holostars" 3rd-anniversary special interview (Part Two)

-The relationship within Holostars-

——Since everyone from the 1st generation is here, is there something you’d like to say to any Holostars members, especially on this occasion?

Arurandeisu: Ehh–! What should I say!?

Rikka: Something to say for the occasion huh...

Izuru: I do have something. At first, Miyabi was a very delicate and sensitive guy, so whenever I started pointing out something he did wrong he usually replied "I see..." with a bit of a dejected expression on him.

Miyabi: Oh yeah! (lol). It used to bother me a lot whenever someone did that to me.

Izuru: We're not that close at first, so doing that kinda stuff might've put extra pressure instead.

Miyabi: Basically yeah. Nowadays we treat it more like a regular banter though (lol).

Izuru: I often told him to go and lose some weight too nowadays–

Arurandeisu: Get a grip Miyabi-kun! You're going to make our juniors at UPROAR!! worried at this rate (lol).

Miyabi: I’m sorry–!!

Izuru: Nowadays we’re mostly chatting like regular friends easily, I think back then Miyabi once thought something along the lines of "engaging with him is no fun at all" when it comes to me (lol).

Miyabi: Ahahaha (lol).

——Ehh!?

Izuru: During our debut period, it was mostly filled with a drive to just do what we can to make this a success, but oftentimes it felt like we were just circling with no ends in sight. We then learned how to balance things eventually and nowadays, we pretty much have a clear goal in mind.

Rikka: Everyone was forcing themselves a lot that we had to take a step back in the end.

Arurandeisu: Was that (lifestyle) too harsh perhaps? (lol)

Rikka: Not really, but it's more like– you guys shouldn't force yourself that bad! kind of thing.

Izuru: That's right. Back then it was pretty much forced, whether it was someone trying to crack a joke or saying something that could be relatable... But now, we can just chat normally.

Miyabi: Yeah. We finally got to know each other well now.

Izuru: We also understand everyone's limit, just look at how much Aru-san is laughing nowadays compared to then.

Arurandeisu: I heard stuff like that a lot (lol).

Rikka: We didn't have that many group collab back then too and it made me worried about our legality as a "group" on its own. But thanks to the meet-up on that day (December 2022), it made me realize just how important it is to meet everyone else properly before anything else.

Miyabi/Arurandeisu: True that!

Izuru: There's a lot of things you'll find out by meeting them directly after all.

Arurandeisu: Huh? Now that you mentioned it Izuru-kun, you kept saying how you didn't want to go to the interview before, was it?

Izuru: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: While you were eating you kept going like "It's fine if I don't go, right". By the way, I only said this now precisely because it's the only right time for it.

——I guess it is true in a way (lol).

Izuru: It's harder if I have to come up with an excuse after all... Recently I just did most of my work while grumbling at the side too (lol).

Rikka: I understand how that feels though… Going outside feels like a bother sometimes. There's stuff to prepare beforehand and those are just as important so we can't just ignore it.

——I guess that's right. It should be fine if we take precautions, otherwise things could get awry easily. Sometimes it would even kill your motivation.

Arurandeisu: That's true.

Izuru: Now that I recall, recently Miyabi kept saying stuff like "Glad I didn’t quit~" on every occasion he could.

Arurandeisu: Oh yeah! What's up with that?

Miyabi: That's how I truly felt after all. I'm not sure if it's because I was anxious about something though… But everyone has been with me since then anyway, so I think it's time for me to stop saying that (lol).

Izuru: This kind of lifestyle somehow pushes you to do something when you're not resting up I feel. If it wasn’t for weekends and national holidays we wouldn’t even bother taking breaks either. That's why everyone looked like they were always busy during these 3 years, though to be precise– the first 1.5 years was the most crucial of all.

Miyabi: That may be it!

Izuru: That's why I think it is pretty amazing that we could last over 3 years.

——Now that you said it, there is some truth to it.

Arurandeisu: From that alone, it sure is good that we were able to have this kind of talk during our 3rd anniversary I think.

——After hearing everyone talking about their experiences, it seems like things have been in a much better situation now huh...

Izuru: Compared to the early years, I don't think anyone is trying to force themselves as much anymore.

Miyabi: It does feel much easier mentally speaking.

Rikka: Yeah. Having to stream a lot was quite troubling after all.

Izuru: Some streams nearly every day and some others do long-hour streams, having seen it all may have given us the much-needed experience. It almost feels like we've gone through trials and errors just to find "our" own streaming style.

Arurandeisu: After doing that, we managed to present a stream style that reflected each of our personalities.

Rikka: And one thing to note is that everyone moves at a different pace, in a way it makes for a good balance too I think.

Izuru: I also think it's good to have everyone move at a different pace altogether. Now that I remembered, I did tell Aru-san something like "I think it's better to move at a slower pace so don’t force yourself out" as well.

Arurandeisu: I remember that one!

Izuru: Because you’ll eventually tire yourself like that, Aru-san. Nowadays, he has managed to find his own pace thanks to that experience I think.

Arurandeisu: I'm really glad about that as well.

Izuru: In a way, it's nice that the 9 of us don't intervene with each other’s activity as much. We always gather around when we have to anyway, I think that itself sets off a good balance between ourselves.

Arurandeisu: In a way it's like respecting each other's solo activity huh...

Izuru: Not to make a comparison, but this kind of relationship that each Holostars members have toward each other is less common among others, I think.

Arurandeisu: I get what you mean. This is just my own opinion but I do think we're still getting along despite that.

Izuru: As more people join, having a clique formed inside it is mostly unavoidable. But for Holostars, it almost feels like there's no distance between us all.

Rikka: And I feel like everyone also has a soft spot. Like making sure we wouldn't stream over each other and such (lol)

Izuru: And even if we did, most would say stuff like "Sorry!!" and all (lol).

Miyabi: We casually chat with each other using emotes/stickers (on Discord) as well.

Arurandeisu: Though we don't appear as close on-screen, we care about each other a lot off-screen, to be honest.

Izuru: That's the sentiment that applies to everyone right? The same goes for UPROAR!!'s members as well.

-First-hand experience at the 3rd-anniversary event!?-

——Let's move to the last topic of this interview, the 3rd-anniversary event! Regarding the event that will be held on June 26th, can you explain what kind of event would it be?

Rikka: It will mostly feature 3D variety entertainment which will be a different experience compared to our previous events. To be honest, we rarely do this kind of event, to say the least.

Miyabi: You're right, we rarely do something similar.

Izuru: I guess being able to meet everyone in a "venue" almost "directly" would excite most people. Since the situation around has started to lighten up as well, it would be nice if this type of event could become something of a main among others.

Miyabi: It's always nice to be able to meet our fans be it on-site or stream after all.

Rikka: Besides meeting via an in-site venue, I think there's also a different kind of experience you can get through online meet-ups. Not only by watching, but we can also communicate through actions and other things.

Izuru: We'll be having in-site and livestream comment participation as well, so there are various ways to get the audience involved in the event.

Arurandeisu: That's right. Whether you were attending in person or watching through a live stream, all of us will be able to enjoy the events together! In a way, this event will be a joyful one for everyone involved!

Miyabi: Compared to our previous events, it's nice that we were able to have an event where our fans are actively "involved" in it.

Izuru: In a way, it will be our first-hand experience, right!?

——Ohh!

Arurandeisu: I hope everyone will be looking forward to it as much now.

-What does "Holostars" mean for everyone?-

——With the 3rd anniversary getting closer, if there's anyone who has something they like to challenge, a new goal, or perhaps a new dream– please let us know!

Miyabi: Maybe not exactly a "dream", but I’ve been uploading vlog-style videos recently, not a normal type of vlog but one that makes use of my VTuber self. For now, I hope I can keep doing something like this for a while. Also considering that Cover Corp. will surely continue to expand themselves, I'd like to attempt things that aren't done by many VTubers, starting with the 3rd anniversary, I'd like to challenge the limit of VTubers and try out many new things in the future.

——I've watched several of the videos already, and it almost feels like we're being taken on a trip together, it was a satisfying experience.

Miyabi: Thank you so much! I still have some videos to be uploaded soon, so I hope you can look forward to those as well.

Arurandeisu: You did go to a lot of places huh... Trying out new genres of activities is a pretty good dream to have.

Miyabi: I'd like to be the pioneer for a one-of-a-kind genre myself!

——How exciting. We will be looking forward to your future activities! How about Izuru-san?

Izuru: To be honest, I'm in the middle of tidying up some "stuff" right now...

All: Tidying up "stuff"!?

Izuru: It's probably not the kind that everyone initially thought about to be honest (lol).

——Please do elaborate!

Izuru: I was busy taking care of my moving process mostly. Personally, it would be nice if I could make content out of my outdoor activities I guess. Regarding my dream, I'd like to sing in a place where being a VTuber doesn’t matter much. I think it would also help more aspiring VTubers to appear in various media easily. Like doing anime theme songs and such.

Arurandeisu: Oh–!

Izuru: Also we rarely have TV broadcast appearances, so I thought I'd like to try it as well if possible. Lastly, I hope to continue my activity for as long as I can!

Arurandeisu: I share a similar dream with Izuru-kun, but since I like doing 3D streams I'd like to make a TV appearance while utilizing my 3D body. Izuru-kun would be focusing on the music side but as for me, I'd like to use my 3D appearance to go over the limit of the wide web through TV broadcasting. I feel like it would be nice if I could do my activities in a different and much bigger place possible.

——Maybe in the future, you will be the host of your own TV program perhaps...?

Arurandeisu: Talking about the bigger scale already!?

All: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: Though it would be nice if I have something like that in the future, for now, I'd like to focus on what's ahead as I try to broaden my reach and work myself toward that goal.

——It might be interesting to see what 3D Arurandeisu-san will come up with in the future! How about you, Rikka-san?

Rikka: Rather than prefacing myself as a "Vtuber" entity, I'd like to be known as someone who does music as normal people do. "This person makes music huh–", and "So this is what Holostars is about–" are among many comments I'd like to hear from people once Holostars are more known to the public, and I hope it will come to a point where it's more normalized to know about us.

Arurandeisu: How cool~!

Rikka: Once Holostars has spread its popularity, we can look back and go "We really done did it huh," to each other.

Izuru: You're right. It would be nice if Holostars became as popular as a known movie. Being able to be accepted widely for a long years must've been nice.

Rikka: I think everyone had the same thought, that is why we're all doing what we can now.

Miyabi: Yeah!

Arurandeisu: We're gonna get bigger soon surely~!!!

——That makes us excited to cheer for you guys as well...! Our last question is a big one but if it's alright… Please let us know what "Holostars" means for each of you.

Rikka: Wow it's like a contest of passion (lol).

Arurandeisu: So, you guys wanna say it together or–?

Miyabi: Sounds nice~!

Izuru: We'll say it in the count of three then?

Arurandeisu: Let's do that then. 1... 2... "What is Holostars to you?" and 3–!

All: (incomprehensible)!

Arurandeisu: Wait a minute, is everyone saying different things!? What did you say Miyabi?

Miyabi: Club activities!

(Everyone laughed together)

Arurandeisu: But why!?

Miyabi: I mean, it does feel like we're training to try reaching the national-scale competition together...

Izuru: That sure is Miyabi-like.

Rikka: For me, my answer is "family".

Izuru: Me too!

Arurandeisu: I said the same too!

Miyabi/Izuru: Absolutely not! It was "buddies"!

Arurandeisu: Ahhh~~~!

All: (laughs)

Izuru: For now, we have Miyabi with "club activities", me and Rikka's "family" and Arurandeisu's "Buddies".

Rikka: I guess we can sort the other two into "family" in a way.

Arurandeisu: We're like a group of people being bounded by an invisible string of bonds it seems.

——Thank you very much for your time, as a closing remark please tell us your message to everyone looking forward to the 3rd anniversary and those reading this article... Let's start from Hanasaki Miyabi-san!

Miyabi: Holostars will be hitting its 3rd year soon, but this is also where we will continue to grow even further. I believe we were able to do all these thanks to our listener's neverending support, and I hope even more people will check out Holostars from now on as well. Please watch over Holostars in the future too!

——Next, Kanade Izuru-san, please.

Izuru: Personally, this 3rd year also marked the 3rd start of my activity.

Arurandeisu: Whoa! How cool!

Rikka: That sounds nice!

Izuru: I would be happy if everyone continues to support us in the future, and I hope we can have fun together. We'll see you at the 3rd-anniversary event soon!

——And next, Arurandeisu-san if you would.

Arurandeisu: First off, thank you for inviting us to this opportunity.

Izuru: So serious!

Arurandeisu: I always am!

All: (laughs)

Arurandeisu: Everyone has their interpretation about what these 3 years meant for them, as for me– it's something that flashes by quickly. Within those times are numerous moments I've spent with fellow Holostars members, and alongside those who have been watching me over these past years, so it feels like these 3 years are something we all worked on together. I'm very thankful that we were able to hold this anniversary event during such important times. And during these years, I feel like Holostars had evolved much further as well. So to those who only start knowing about us or those who have been supporting us, I'd like to keep them excited for what's to come in the future.

For that, please keep supporting and watching over us from now on too! And to those going to the event, do look forward to it!

——Lastly, Rikka-san, please.

Rikka: Being happy about my fans' support is obvious, but whenever people say something like "I recently started supporting you!" it makes me really happy as well. I always welcome anyone to check us out anytime, and since you can catch us easily through streams or events, it's alright to watch us comfortably and casually as it makes me just as happy. I may say it like it’s an important thing but really, I'm not exaggerating or anything!

Miyabi/Izuru/Arurandeisu: Ahahaha (lol).

Rikka: "So there are streamers like this too huh, maybe I'll check them out", even things like that are just as valid. Trust me. And of course, I'll be doing my best so as not to bore our current fans too, so please look over us in the future too. With that said, let us meet at the 3rd-anniversary event and stream!

——Thank you very much, everyone!

#topic: holostars #type: interviews

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celticcrossanon · 2 years

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UGH. Thomas Markle said he's flying to the UK for the Jubilee, CC. This landmark event for Her Majesty's 70 years of service is turning into an absolute joke. The poor Queen keeps getting overshadowed by all these nitwits (e.g. H&M, Andrew, Charles, Thomas Markle) who don't have the decency to shut up and stay in the background and let the Jubilee be about the Queen and her incredible reign. I now want the Queen to live to see her next Jubilee, if only to be properly celebrated by herself then.

Hi Nonny,

It is revolting, isn't it? I am going to ignore all the distractions and focus on Her Majesty, which is what she deserves. I can't control what other people do or what the media reports, but I can control how I approach the Platinum Jubilee, and for me it is going to be all about Her Majesty.

Her next Jubilee is in five years, I think - 75 years. I have no idea what they will call it (I think it is also a Diamond anniversary). Here's hoping that you get your wish and Her Majesty recovers her mobility, loses her pain and lives to enjoy it.

1st Paper 2nd Cotton 3rd Leather 4th Linen 5th Wood 6th Iron 7th Copper 8th Bronze 9th Willow or Pottery 10th Tin 11th Steel 12th Silk 13th Lace 14th Ivory 15th Crystal 20th China 25th Silver 30th Pearl 35th Coral 40th Ruby 45th Sapphire 50th Gold 55th Emerald 60th Diamond 70th Platinum 75th Diamond

Edit: "China" here means bone china or porcelain. It specifically means place settings for the table, but you could expand it to anything made from china or porcelain.

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collectivenothingness · 1 year

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Poked my head into one of those reddit threads where people go on about how you can and should just run everything in D&D 5e because it is the most accessible thing or whatever... about how everything else is overcomplicated and hard to learn and intimidating. And it is kind of incomprehensible to me lol.

Like I started with Vampire the Masquerade Revised when I first got to play in a tabletop rpg campaign. Went from there to 4th edition VtM, Werewolf the Apocalypse 4th edition, Mage the Ascension 4th edition and Changeling the Dreaming (where 20th anniversary is 3rd edition I guess). Played a D&D 3.0 based Star Wars game or two at some point as well. Then Dark Heresy 2e and Pathfinder 1e. Now Pathfinder 2e and recently D&D 5e for the first time for a few sessions... can't even begin to imagine what it is like to be intimidated by trying out a new system even without tons of sites filled with class guides and information. Can't wait to find time to tackle Call of Cthulhu and some less well known stuff too at some point... but the Victorian Age supplement for MtAs is probably coming out soon... but yeah anyway, if I had the time, I would wanna try out like dozens of systems I think.

Don't think I would ever want to try and shoehorn one of those into being something it just isn't... like even ignoring genre and the genre-mechanics interaction... just purely mechanically they all have different strengths, weaknesses and foci so they just aren't suited for everything, even if you obviously could bend them to try. And especially the hyperdominant D&D 5e doesn't really feel like much of an all-rounder to me mechanically... it's just made to be extra approachable.

#me stuff #just tabletop ramblings

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rreynn · 1 year

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Ragnarok M mini blog/guide p2: Stellar Hunter (arrow storm build) 1/2

Story time: There's this anniversary event that gives job change voucher. That time my 1st character is a minstrel, 2nd character is a hunter, and 3rd character is a doram(my main and only character now). That voucher don't have change to novice doram, only human novice so that time I know I have to main doram to make that voucher useful. Even rng-sus let me grab a doram's S rune with 3rd line(that makes lcp go crit) randomly.

So after that I picked to be an archer then hunter because they told me I should try or have atleast a AA build/job. But I noticed that I'm bad as adl so here's my build. After the release of ancient equipment I centralized my equips to be a physical skiller type.

When farming I use arrow storm in higher maps. I usually farm at royal hunting grounds in all the jobs I have because I don't like the competition at soul hunting grounds. In lower maps if I can 1 hit mobs as adl, I still play adl with the same equipment build but just using the king of beasts card. Dark archer card helps too to increase arrow storm damage.

For stats, as mentioned, I still play adl so I max dex and luk, and the rest for agi. That agi I still have 480 aspd but without exceed break. My ignore def is around 186.5 so somehow I can do dungeons using Stellar hunter.

For skills, here's how I build it. I don't use multi firing even I used 2 rain of arrow cards on weap because of the cast delay of the skill. Arrow storm still much stronger with less delay/spammable. I also don't use exceed break since I'm not full pledge adl and it will decrease my aspd. I also don't use warg as you can't use some skills when riding like my main skill arrow storm.

...

#ragnarok m #ragnarok m eternal love #rreynn #stellar hunter

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minilev · 3 years

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..When the sky has cleared And the storm has passed..

#IT'S THE DAY!#even tho i still feel fed up with FC5 and avoid reblogging it #i can't ignore the 3rd anniversary #joseph seed #john seed #jacob seed #faith seed #my art #fc5 #fcnd

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just-like-playing-tag · 4 years

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A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

#This was supposed to be posted on July 13th as one year and one month since I made the blog #but Tumblr decided to be a jerk and deleted all of it 😊#So here we are #tpn #tpn manga spoilers #long post #Again this is just a personal report don't stress over reading all of it #But it was fun to make!#To the people I tagged: sorry for tagging you in this long post but also it would have felt weird not to do so? I hope you don't mind #It felt like... Giving credits foe something you've done y'know

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irazor · 4 years

Note

I'm hurtin' just finished rewatching s3 OG again I can't believe it'll be 4 years soon...just how did something so amazing exist, I'm lucky I got to experience it as it happened...I was wondering during the xmas party how Isak & even celebrated the new year, Isak seemed sort of insecure or fragile (him saying he didn't know if even was the man of his dreams & if it would last) their relationship was so new...if you feel inspired can you do a little drabble pretty please?

So umm sorry that you had to wait, like, six months for this. But it seemed kinda fitting to post this on the 3rd year anniversary of this clip, don’t you think? ;)

(As you can see, I took a little liberty with the prompt. I hope you’ll like it anyway)

——

Isak can’t really remember the last time he wanted to be in the present.

Certainly not at the start of this term, when all he did was work so hard to keep everyone away from his true self that he barely had time to breathe. When every question from the boys, every message from his mother or every stranger casting him a glance on the tram felt like an intrusion into the safe shell he’d built around himself. When he was always on the lookout, always on the run for the next safe stepping stone where nobody could pry too closely and see his real self.

Not during spring, when he tried his hardest to ignore the fact that he was, in fact, sleeping in the basement of some weird dude he barely knew, who’d just taken mercy on him for some reason. Not during summer either, even if he’d been granted the relative heaven of his own room up in the apartment by then.

And definitely not last fall or winter, when everyone and everything around the house was balancing on a knife’s edge, threatening to fall apart and break at the slightest disruption. When the knowledge of what he’d done to his best friend was constantly glued to the insides of his brain, like a sticky black mass that wouldn’t let go.

Not even after he’d met Even, on the sunlit windowsill in his room, under the surface in the pool, not even after Even had broken up with Sonja and they’d had their week of wonder together, kissing in the kitchen, in his room, in the hotel –

Truth is, however relieving and thrilling it had been, it still had felt like it was too good to be true. A constant, nagging reminder in the back of his head: it could be taken from him at any moment. How is this even real? he’d thought more than one time during that short, dream-like week.

And for a little while after, he’d truly believed that it hadn’t been.

He knows better now, though. And looking up across the room to see Even standing there, maybe a little thinner and paler than a couple of weeks ago, but smiling, he realizes, suddenly, that he doesn’t feel the urge to be anywhere else.

Doesn’t want to fast-forward to a distant future where his past won’t be able to catch up with him anymore, doesn’t feel the need to desperately cling to childhood memories of when everything was simple and warm and someone else’s responsibility.

It’s kind of a surprise when it dawns on him that he, for once, actually doesn’t want to be someone else.

So when Eva draws his attention back to her glittery eyes, he can actually look right into them and tell her that even if he doesn’t know what’ll happen tomorrow, it might still be alright. That he’s content enough in the present.

Even if he can feel his heart pick up a little when he asks her to forgive the stupid, selfish mistake he made in first grade, he does ask, and when she shrugs and lets him know that it’s alright, he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

For the first time in years, he actually wants to leave things like that behind, not by pretending they never existed, but confess to them. Wipe his slate clean, sort of. Walk into this new, uncertain future without too many ghosts from his pasts hanging over his head.

Where he dares to say yes to what life offers him, and not only no.

Is Even the man of his dreams? When Eva asks him, he’s tempted to say yes. In a way, he believes that Even might be. He’d like to think so.

But, if he’s learnt anything from the past year, it’s that nothing can be taken for granted.

And that he’s so fucking grateful for what he’s got.

He looks up at Eva, her expectant smile, her flushed cheeks. Then, he meets Even’s gaze across the room, and suddenly, he knows.

It doesn’t matter, not really.

What matters is that in a little while Isak will go over to him, maybe actually approach him while he’s still standing under the mistletoe.

That tomorrow, they’re going to Even’s parents – he’s going to his boyfriend’s parents, and even if it does freak him out a little, his heart is kinda fluttering with the knowledge that Even wants him there.

That they’re here, together, him, Even, his friends. Eskild, and the rest of his flatmates that kind of feel like a little… family.

And that right now, for the first time in a long, long while, there’s no place he’d rather be.

#skam fic #skam ficlet #skam #while i agree that isak might have seemed a little insecure in this clip #i actually think that this might have been the first time in years that uncertainties and an open future didn't scare him?#hence the liberty with the prompt haha #thanks for the prompt <3 #i hope you're still around #prompt fic #duskandwandlight

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miracles-totally-come-true · 4 years

Text

When I Will Be Gone (1/2)

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Pairing: Logince

Summary: Logan loves Roman with all of his heart. Logan can see that Roman wants to do more with his life. Logan can also see that his own life just isn’t working. Logan thinks he can fix both of their problems.

Roman only wants to spend his life with his boyfriend. He’s perfectly fine with giving up on his dreams if it means waking up every day to see Logan’s face.

Roman wishes he had said that sooner.

Ao3 link: (Tumblr isn’t letting me link it in a neat and simple way, so you get a large oversized link to the fic)

This was meant to be read as a oneshot, but since Tumbr doesn’t like me for some reason, here’s the second part

A quick note:

When anything is written in italics, this means that the text is part of Logan's recording. The recording takes place a few hours earlier than the story's present day.

—————————

By the time you are listening to this, I will be gone. Not dead, most likely, but gone.

January 18th, six years prior to the recording

Sunlight dancing through the trees, the scent of roses in the air. Logan and Roman sat on a checkered picnic blanket, hand in hand.

Roman, I love you more than the world, but I think we both know that I was always bound to fail as your boyfriend.

March 15th, six years prior to the recording

The last scene in the movie had come to a close, just as Logan finally stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up. Roman glanced down at his boyfriend, who was leaning on his shoulder, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

I that thought I was helping you to achieve your dreams, but I now see that all I was doing was holding you back. I wish I had seen sooner.

November 3rd, six years prior to the recording

Roman quietly opened his boyfriend's bedroom door. He draped a blanket over the shoulders of the figure passed out at the desk and placed the cupcake he had carried in beside the mountain of paperwork.

"Happy birthday, my love," Roman whispered.

Roman, you are the most incredible human being I have ever met.

December 1st, six years prior to the recording

A smile fluttered across Roman's lips as Logan brushed a strand of hair out of his boyfriend's eyes.

The way your eyes light up when you smile fills me with a kind of joy that I did not think I had the ability to possess.

January 18th, five years prior

Roman grinned and leaned into Logan's arms

"Happy anniversary! I love you so, so much,"

The blush that dances across your cheeks when out eyes meet is nothing less than adorable.

January 31st, five years prior

They stared into each other's eyes. Moonlight just barely lit up the room. Roman hoped that it was too dark for Logan to notice how red Roman's face must be.

Watching you spin around the room laughing when your favourite Disney songs come on always ends with my cheeks hurting from smiling.

February 14th, five years prior

Logan's quiet laughter filled the air as his boyfriend pulled him up from the couch.

"C'mon specs," Roman pulled him closer. "Let's dance."

Listening to you talk about the things that you're passionate about always melts my heart. I love you so much.

March 21st, five years prior

"I GOT THE GIG!" Roman had applied for a job preforming stories for children at the local theatre. "Let's have a drink to celebrate!"

Logan looked at him in confused amusement as Roman grabbed a bottle opener. "....babe thats a bottle of soda, not exactly the kind of drink one would use to celebrate with."

And it's because of how much I care, that I must leave. I can see that you're hiding your emotions behind your smiles.

May 30th, five years prior

Roman wiped a tear off his cheek as he put on a fake smile. He stared at the figure in the mirror. Roman loved Logan more than he could even imagine. His boyfriend was the best thing to ever happen to him. It didn't matter that Roman had lost every job he had tried to keep. It would be okay.

You clearly want more than anything to follow your dreams but you don't. Why?

June 12th, five years prior

Roman pressed his lips to his boyfriend's knuckles. "I'd travel to the moon and back if it meant simply seeing your face."

So many hours were spent with me laying on my bedroom floor, trying to figure out why you refused to go out into the world and pursue a better life. Then it hit me. I am the problem.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman's jaw dropped and his heart fell as he listened to the recording that he had found in his and Logan's apartment. It had been addressed to him, and he had found it sitting beside a single blood red rose, and a golden locket containing a photo of him and Logan. It hadn't been long before Roman had put two and two together and figured out that there was something else going on here. This sounded bad.

As long as I stay by your side, you'll stay stuck in an unfulfilling life.

July 2nd, five years prior

They lay in a meadow, side by side, fingers entwined.

"I love you Logan,"

"I love you too,"

Please don't be sad.

August 15th, five years prior

Logan wiped away the tear rolling down Roman's cheek.

I would have told you all this in person, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to bare seeing your pain. I knew that I'd back out the second we stood face to face.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman picked up the rose. He ignored the thorns that pricked his skin.

"Logan, why, why why why," he could feel more tears forming.

I love you so much, Roman. I never would have gotten this far in life without you, but as they always say mall good stories must come to an end.

December 26th, five years prior

Roman closed the storybook, a smile on his face. He plucked the glasses off his sleeping boyfriend's face and set them on the nightstand.

I've hit the metaphorical dead end.

January 30th, four years prior

Roman glanced at Logan, who was sitting in the passenger seat,

"I-I think we're lost,"

"Now you admit it?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "Here, let me drive for a bit."

My family disowned me for my sexuality.

February 13th, four years prior

Roman's heart dropped as he saw the mess of tears streaming down the typically calm man's face. "You told them?"

"...I did."

I was fired from my job at the lab, simply because I argued that the animals being used as test subjects were not being treated fairly.

January 1st, four weeks prior

"They're fools for firing someone as intelligent as you,"

"No, they're right to do this. I tried to think with my heart instead of my head for once, and made the mistake of bringing emotions into a workplace,"

"Well either way, they just lost their best scientist,"

All of my friends left eventually because of how many walls I put up.

December 2nd, two months prior

"Did Virgil call?" Roman frowned when he saw the sad look on Logan's face.

"Yes, yes he did. I'd rather not talk about it though. How about we make dinner?"

My own cautiousness and inability to be overly emotional have been my own undoing. You are the last good thing left in my life.

March 14th, four years prior

"Logan, you are absolutely not just an emotionless robot! You're the sweetest guy I know. Don't you dare let any assholes tell you otherwise!"

I may not believe in soulmates, but I truly think that we are as close as it gets.

June 8th, four years prior

"Aw, you don't think that we're soulmates?" Roman said with a pout in his face. "Why not?"

"I simply said that I don't believe in such things," Logan pressed a quick kiss to Roman's forehead. "Now get sleep, we both have work to do tomorrow."

My story has come to an end, but yours is just beginning.

August 17th, four years prior

Roman gazed lovingly at the stacks of books lining the shelves that surrounded the place where Roman and Logan sat.

I know that I don't have the emotional capacity to be able to make an accurate estimation as to how long it will take for you to be able to get over this, but for both of our sakes, I do hope it will be quick.

October 6th, four years prior

Roman sighed. His boyfriend had obviously stayed up all night working again. When he peeked at the pile of notes on Logan's desk, his face lit up. From the looks of it, Logan had started teaching a course at a local college, which had always been something he had wanted to do.

I can tell that you're hiding sadness underneath all the smiles, you don't hide it very well.

December 31st, four years prior

Smiles. Grins. Laughter. Joy. Roman's entire life was based around joy. He couldn't just go tell Logan that he was sad about losing another job, that would ruin his whole facade. No, he would have to just get another job as quickly as possible.

I haven't seen enough of your genuine smiles lately.

January 14th, three years prior

Roman was so happy for the first time in what felt like ages. Logan had finally agreed to get a pet! Granted, it was a goldfish, because Logan claimed that neither of them had the time to take care of a puppy, but a pet nonetheless!

He named it Roman Jr.

You clearly want to do something more with your life, but you don't.

February 14th, three years prior

"Vegas would be a nice place to live one day, or LA. Ooh maybe London,"

"What, life isn't enough for you?"

"Never,"

And since I've heard you joke about me being the tether keeping you from being a star, it wasn't hard to realize that the only logical explanation is that I'm the one keeping you stuck in this small town where it is impossible for you to follow your dreams.

Present day, Roman's perspective

"I never meant it. They were nothing more than jokes. I would do anything to keep the small life we share," yet more tears rolled down Roman's face as he spoke to the empty room.

I say that you are the only thing left in this world for me, but if you can't be happy with the life we have, then I have truly failed.

April 7th, three years prior

They lay on a Roman's bed, a Disney movie playing on his laptop, long forgotten. Roman snuggled closer, savouring the moment.

The only way I can think of to fix this, is to completely disappear.

July 25th, three years prior

They sat under a cherry blossom tree, watching the petals fall around them.

"This is magical," Roman's voice was barely a whisper.

"There's noting out of the ordinary about the situation, except for the fact that the petals are dropping later in the year than they usually would," Roman merely grinned.

You're the only one who could possibly miss me, so I have three requests for you.

Next part

#logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan x roman #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #fanfiction #logince angst #angst #tw suicide #fanfic

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letthesparkleshine · 5 years

Text

You remembered.

Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, I hope you enjoy it!

Feel free to leave me a message.

Words: around 1.8k

Group: BTS

Members: Jungkook and Taehyung X you

Today was a long day. You had just finished your workout and decided to take a shower. Before grabbing your things you took a quick look at your phone. You saw that you got a text message from your one and only Taehyung.

V: Wear something fancy tonight 😉

Y/N (*dies*): Sure thing love

It was your anniversary tonight, 3 years baby. After taking a shower you quickly drove home to start getting ready. You still love him as if it was the first day when you guys had just met and you were very excited. You were stuck between deciding whether to wear tight velvet dress or loosely fit black one. You decied to go with red one, since you prefer velvet and Taehyung doesn't. And today was definitely the night you would prefer for him to take if off of you as quiclkly as posisible.

You were on your way to their dorm. Once you arrived you were greeted by Jin. ''Wow, very nice, Tae's a very lucky guy. Tell me I forgot, do you have an older sister?'' he says and you just hit him playfully but still kind of hard since it's Jin and he probably deserves it.

''Stoop please, where is Tae, I'm really excited about tonight, I can't wait anymore.'', you say. Jin being a little perv he is takes another look at you again and this time you hit him a bit harder.

''Wow Y/N that really hurt. You hurted me.''

''Oh really, you wanna see how I hit with both of my hands?'' you say and thankfully in that moment Jimin walked in. ''Come in Y/N, we missed you, sorry for Jin he's a little bit drunk,'' he says as he is taking your coat from you '' you're going to have to wait a bit, we were running a bit late today with practice, he's still getting ready.''

''Oh no problem, I'll just hang out with you guys a little, it's been a long time since we all hung out together.'' You say to Jimin, completely igoring Jin at the moment.

'I'm very sad Y/N, you hurted me again.'' Says Jin.

''Oh relax silly, I've missed you too, but not your jokes though'', you say while following them to living room.

You find the rest of the guys watching TV. Jungkook immedietely gets up to hug you. ''Y/N you're finally here, I've missed you, my god we've got to hang out some time soon.''

Jungkook and you knew eachoter before you met Taehyung. You took the same dancing classes as he did, before he started training at BigHit. While training you guys became very close to eachoter since he was a bit lost in the beginning and you were his closest friend at the time. It was never weird between you guys. You were always just really good friends. Eventually you met the rest of his members and became kind of close to them too. You instantly had a crush on Tae and boy oh boy did he have a crush on you. He first asked you out without telling Jungkook, thinking, if this doesn't workout he doesn't have to find out and there will be no problem. But since life has it's own way of planning events, you and V actually hit it off really well. First it was hanging out only once in a while so Jungkook wouldn't suspect anything, but with time passing by, you guys fell in love more and more, and once making it official, it was time to tell Kookie. He was very protective of you, so it was safe to say that you would make Taehyung tell him. There was no way you were telling him. And on a lovely sunny day, when you guys were preparing to tell him, he caught you fooling around. That was the only day you remember Jungkook getting kind of mad at you, but since he loves you so so very much, he forgave you very easily and very quickly.

Everytime you remember that day, it puts a smile on your face. A boy that you once barely knew is now one of your closest friends and because of him you met the man that introduced you to love you never knew existed.

''We really should catch up Kookie.'' You say hugging him back. You can definetly feel that Jin was about to say something but he stayed quiet, which quite surprised you.

You sat with the guys for a brief moment, chatting with them about their day when suddenly Taehyung appeared, looking like a four course meal. It was safe to say that you were now even more excited about him taking off the Velvet dress off of you.

''You look amazing sweetheart'', he says while kissing your cheek.

''Get a room.'' You hear Yoongi all of a suddenly.

It makes all of you laugh a little bit, then you feel Tae taking your hand and leading you outside of the dorm. But before you leave you can hear Kookie jogging towards you giving you a quick hug goodbye and just as you were about to let go of him you hear him saying: ''Congratulations on your 3rd anniversary.''

I really melted your heart that he remembered.

''I can't explain how excited I am about today Tae, where are we going?'' you ask.

''Oh it's a surprise, you'll know once we get there.''

You just smile and sit in the car with him. For this special opportunity he even hired a driver. ''I can't believe he tried so hard on our anniversary'' you thought to yourself. You were very happy at the moment. It was a nice ride, and once you've reached the destination he told you to wait so he could open the door for you. As you stepped out, you were kind of shocked. It was the cafe, where you guys went on your first secret date.

''I can't believe you remembered this place Tae. I haven't been here since ou sec-''

''-secret date'' Tae finishes your sentence for you. ''I knew you thought I was going to forget about this place so I thought about surprising you this time.''

Indeed you were very happy. The man of your dreams remembered your anniversary and not just that, he took you to your favourite place, and you even get along with all of his friends,at least when they are not asking you about your older sister. There couldn't be a more perfect moment for you right there. You kissed him softly on the cheek and let him lead you into the cafe. He made a reservation just for you two, emptying the whole cafe for a night so you two could be alone. The night that passed by was so lovely and it passed by so quickly. Both of you were talking all night and it reminded you so much of your first date.

You were waiting for him to give you his anniversary gift so that you could give him afterwards yours. But you kind of waited for nothing. You never recieved the gift. You thought maybe the cafe and the reservation were a gift but you were still a bit sad, since every year until now you guys always gave eacother handmade gifts. And this year you worked extra hard in knitting the sweater he used to have when he was little. But nontheless you were still very thankful for the effor he put into your date so you decided to just enjoy it and give him his sweater later in the car.

You were enjoying the rest of your date when suddenly he got an emergency call, having to come right away back to the dorms. Once you guys returned back he went immediately to RM asking him what's wrong. You went to Jungkook since you saw he was sitting alone and you asked him what had happened.

''Oh it was just something about the contract, since we renewed it couple of days ago and boss found out there was a paragraph that was missing, he had to rewrite it and Tae has to resign it. It's no big deal but he kind of has to sign it immediately.''

''Oh,'' you say feeling a bit of ease ''I thouhght it was something worse.''

''Silly girl, you always think of the worst firts. But any way, how was the date? Did you like the present?'', Kookie bombards you with questions.

''Oh I didn't get the present, I thought the cafe was the present, did you see him actually buying me a present?'' you ask him a little bit worried. Jungkook laughs at you and gives you his award winning bunny smile and pinches your cheek. Just as he was about to answer your question Taehyung walks in.

''I'm sorry about that love, we drove over here for nothing, hope it didn't ruin our date too much'' he says.

''It's okay, shall we go back? You ask.

''Actually I'm kind of tired would you mind if we called it a night? I know it as supposed to be our special date night but it was a long day for me today, I just want to go to sleep.'' As he says those words your heart hurts a little bit. Special date nights were also your thing, it was a night you had at least once every two weeks, since you both have hard working jobs and that was just an agreement you guys made so you would see each other even at the busiest of times.

He forgot. Your anniversary. He forgot it and you didn't know what to think. You agreed with him not wanting to ruin your night and told him to go to bed, and that you are going home.

''What are you talking about going home? Stay over it makes no sense if you go home now, especially at this hour.''

You completely ignored his question saying:'' No I want to go home, I don’t feel so good, sorry babe, I'll see you later.'' You say very quickly, kissing his cheek and leaving without giving him a chance to say a word or two to you.

Jungkook sees this awkward situation and after you leave he goes up to V and asks him:'' What was that man? Why did she leave?''

''I have no idea, she said she got tired all of a sudden, but she seemed fine during our date''

Jungkook tilts his head thinking what could the reason be and says: “Ok… but what did she think of the present? Did she like it?''

''What present, what are you talking about?'' says Tae obviosly very confused.

''Well it's your anniversary? Or? No it's definitely your anniversary. I told her before to have fun on your anniversary and she smiled at me.'' Says Kookie.

It took Taehyung a moment to to realize what Jungkook had just said. He quickly ran to his room to check the calendar and he was right. The date that was circled today was your anniversary.

''Fuck.''

#bts #bts v #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #fanfic #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #v fanfiction #taehyung fanfiction #bts imagine #bts imagines

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