#i can't....... explain. how much i love this monologue | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uzurimisery · 5 months

Text

chapter 4: the bluff. / coriolanus snow / nsfw

Rating: Explicit

WC: 6746

Warnings: MDNI, rough sex, he's still insane and possessive, PIV, unprotected sex (this guy is never wearing a condom ever), angry sex, he's not a good guy but he's hot, not beta read

AO3 version | Series master

You slammed the dressing room door shut. “What the hell was that , Coriolanus?” pacing the length of the room, anger seeping out of you. “Did you forget what we were supposed to do? We were supposed to play it off, say we were too young. That was not playing it off! That was proposing!”

In your rage, you stumbled in your heels. He watched you curse under your breath, undoing the strap on them and throwing them across the room. Coriolanus didn’t move, cemented in his spot just past the door.

“Listen to me Y/N,” his tone was stern, like a parent scolding a child. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Of course you did!” you interrupted your voice tinged with sarcasm. “You always do whatever you want, don’t you? Here, the gala, the dinner. Always regardless of the consequences!”

Your words were sharp, digging in the fact that whatever was going on between you two there was meant to be a unified front, a single storyline. You were meant to be partners in the power play, both of you using each other to further your positions. All the work that went into constructing the next five years of the act was undone in an instant.

“I thought we were on the same page, Coriolanus. There was a plan for what we were going to do, but you just fucked it up!” He was always hypercritical of himself, internal monologue pointing out his every mistake, but you doing the same set him off.

“Can you shut up for five seconds! Or are you so self-obsessed that you can't let anyone else get a word in.”

“How dare you try and talk to me about being self-obsessed you narcissistic, unthoughtful-”

“There you go! Proving my point. You can’t even get off your high horse for a minute so I can explain why I did that.”

“You want to explain? Fine then, explain.” you spat.

Coriolanus’ jaw clenched. You were so hot and cold with him. He could never gauge what you really wanted in all of this, and you would never just tell him either.

“I saw an opportunity.”

“For what?”

“To play the part, to make the story so much better. Picture it, Coriolanus Snow, a man who has always been so organised and timely there are articles on how to put your life together like him, rushing into something. He’s so in love with his mentor’s daughter that he proposes to her on stage in front of all of Panem, and he doesn’t even have a ring on him because at that moment he realises that he can’t live without her.”

Your eyebrows were drawn, scanning over his face like you were looking for a fault in what he said, as you dissected it. There was nothing wrong with it though. The show was exactly how he described it. It painted him as a kind and caring man, beyond his known abilities at game making.

“You should have told me ahead of time.”

“I didn’t have a chance. I thought of it while getting ready.” he was lying, and you could tell. Seeing through lies was your speciality. He hadn’t thought about it while getting ready.

You called him on his bluff. “Bullshit. You didn’t have any plan, that was all impulse.” you were digging your finger into his chest to make your point. “You could have ruined everything we’ve been working on, made the past year pointless. What if I hadn’t followed along? What if I lost my composure for your little outburst? It’s not just your future on the line here Coriolanus. I’m leaving.”

Your shoulder bumped into his as you moved to walk out of the room, but his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you back and lifting you off the ground.

“Y/N,” he started.

“Let me go!”

“You don’t get to walk away from me. You need to listen to me.”

“I’m done listening to you, put me down!”

“Well, I’m not done talking!” Coriolanus pushed your back against the wall, pinning you in place.

Why couldn’t you just listen to him like you normally did? Why were you so upset with him? What he did was off-script but it still looked good, and it still achieved your shared goals. You didn’t get to walk away from him when he was right.

You slapped him, still able to move your arms. “I told you to let me go.” He tasted blood in his mouth. When he smiled at you, you felt your blood run cold.

“Are you done?” His teeth had traces of blood on them.

You weren’t about to be intimidated by him. You didn’t cower or beg anyone, and that included Coriolanus Snow. “Let. Me. Go.” your demands fell on deaf ears.

His smile only widened, eyes glistening with a sinister light. You thought he’d be furious with you, and hated that you were out of control, but it seemed more like he enjoyed it. That he liked it when you fought back.

“I told you Y/N, I’m not done talking.”

You moved to slap him again but were met with your wrists being grabbed and pinned above your head, utterly defenceless for whatever happened next. The expectation for him to strike you back weighing in the air. But he didn’t. Instead, his lips met yours, forcing your mouth open and letting his tongue in. You tried to fight back but he bit down on your lip and stopped you. His tongue only became more insistent. Copper on both your tongues.

You didn’t hate it. You were still mad at him, obviously, but the sexual tension that always between the two of you beckoned, its tendrils wrapping around you. Who said some angry sex wasn’t the solution to your being mad at him?

Your teeth clacked against each other as you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his midsection. Coriolanus’ free hand moved to support you. Standing like this he was able to grind his hips against yours, the friction delicious. The kiss was messy, both of you trying to prove something to the other with it.

When you pulled apart for air you spoke. “Let me go.” His breath was laboured, just as yours was, the rough makeout session leaving the both of you breathless.

“Not a chance, sweet girl.”

His grip on your wrists loosened, letting you slip free to pull at his hair, connecting your mouths once again. Your moans mixed with his own, body rolling to press your clothed pussy over his erection. Even though he had picked you up a multitude of times, it was always surprising how strong he actually was. His slim build did not give away how strong he actually was.

Everything between you was primal, driven by lust and anger.

Coriolanus brought you over to the couch, dropping you on your back. He liked you best like this, on your back and needy. Your high horse forgotten, and the only thing you rode him. The both of you took care to remove your clothes carefully, neither wanting to deal with a lecture from Tigris as well as knowing you had a dinner to attend in them after this. But that was where the caution ended.

The moment you were naked he had his fingers stretching you open with his thumb toying at your clit. His mouth was all over your skin, biting your breasts, adding to the marks already covering you. He was so rough with you and made you feel so small. But god did he know exactly what to do to you.

Your moans were sharp as he brought you to an orgasm. Everything you did drove him up a wall. Every time he thought he could move past it, ignoring the feeling, your pussy sucked him back in. It was your fault he made a mistake, that he lost his composure, that he went off script. He wanted access to your warmth whenever he wanted.

No matter how much he consumed you, he was still hungry, the type of hunger he hadn’t felt since the war. The one with claws that tore at his insides, teeth grinding into his bones. A bottomless pit that could never be filled. It clouded his mind with thoughts of you, your breasts and hips, the pout of your lips. He could almost always feel the sensation of you against him, biting into your soft flesh. It made him emotionally volatile, willing to risk everything for just a crumb. But every time he got a bite it filled him with dread.

Your perfume, boozy and peachy, a reminder that the only thing that would ever fill this hole was you. That when he was on the brink of death, starving and empty, it was you who would nourish him. Your being the very source of all his problems and all his solutions at the same time. A double-edged sword driving into his heart with every step he took towards you.

“See? Look how good you have it when you just behave.” you weren’t out of it yet, still able to spite back in vitriol.

“Fuck you.”

“Already have.” Coriolanus flipped you on your front, positioning you on your knees with your chest pressed against the couch.

Like this, he got to spread you open, look at what your body could offer him. Why did you have to be you? Why did you have to rival his mind and have such a perfect body? It ruined everything.

His fingers pressed back into you. He could watch you drip down them for hours, whiny and whimpering from his actions. Begging him to fuck you. No matter how you tried to act like you weren’t. You were just like him. Hungry and waiting.

Coriolanus lined up his cock with your entrance. Instead of easing into you, he thrust in fully, jolting your body forward. He wanted it to hurt, to make you feel sorry for blowing up at him. To show you that no matter how you acted out he could fuck you back into place.

He fucked you hard and fast, pulling your head back by your hair. It forced you up and to put your hands on the back of the couch. Your back arched, your shoulders almost against his chest. His other hand pinched at your nipples and tugged at them. It hurt, the perfect mix of pain and pleasure.

Moving his hand out of your hair, his fingers hooked into the side of your mouth. “Your mouth can be used for better things than being disrespectful.” your drool pooled around them, dribbling out the side of your mouth as you spoke.

“I’m gonna cum.” your speech altered from his fingers.

“I don’t care.” he did care, but he couldn’t let you know that, not right now. The biggest ego death to him would be if he was unable to make you cum. It fed his ego every time you clenched down around him, pussy fluttering from your orgasm. He didn’t slow down or let up, fully intent on taking his frustration out on you.

The air between you was hot and heavy, thick with the smell of sex. With his hands free, your waist became his new hold stone. Coriolanus didn’t even have to pull your hips to meet his, you were doing that for him, bucking backwards in time. Each trust had you panting little praises for him.

He wanted to see your face. You felt him pull out of you and then sit down on the couch next to you. “Ride me.”

You shifted, placing your knees on either side of him as you sunk down on his length. When you got to the base, you took a moment to recollect yourself, head tucked into the crook of his neck. Coriolanus’ lips found the crown of your head before he even recognised what he was doing. It was odd. This intimate act in the midst of all of this. He wanted to show you that he cared, that he wasn’t mad at you anymore. Why wasn’t he mad at you anymore? He was the type to let his anger fester, angry with infection. He waited until the moment was right and then he spread his sickness, cutting down whoever upset him. You were more useful than being cut down; however, he felt strongly towards you. The one thing he wouldn’t do is name those feelings.

The drag of your hips cut off his line of thought. He watched as you rode him, your thighs shaky but not letting it stop you. When you pulled your head out to kiss him he met you, enjoying the feeling of your lips against his. Hair and makeup would have a hay day with the two of you but the way you went all the way up, his tip the only thing inside you, to then your ass flush with his thighs made their annoyance worth it. Wanting to feel you cum around him again, his thumb began circling your clit, working you up to another orgasm.

“I’m close.”

“I know.”

Your hips slowed as you came, exhausted from riding him. But Coriolanus wasn’t done. His hand wrapped around your waist, moving you to an elevated position with his dick still inside you, and he began thrusting up into you. “Hold yourself just like that sweet girl.” You did as he told you, your head lulling to the front pressing your forehead against his. With a few final thrusts, he came inside you. You were winded, your eyes closed as he guided your bodies apart and grabbed a disposal west wipe to clean the both of you up. Finally, with that done, he could lay down and settle you on top of him, both of you naked and sweaty.

Neither of you spoke for a while, just listening to each other breathe, your head on his chest.

“I’m sorry.” apologises always felt like he was trying to speak a foreign language, his tongue struggling to make the sounds. “I shouldn’t have acted impulsively.”

“I'm sorry too. I shouldn’t have blown up on you.” his fingers traced your hairline as you lay on top of him, still reeling from the sex. “I just don’t like when things don’t go to plan, and they’ve not been going to plan between us.”

He couldn’t argue against that. Everything was so fuzzy between you. He didn’t know what you were feeling, but his feelings were you weren’t something he could ignore. When he said that he couldn’t picture his life without you it was true. He thought that speaking it out to the world would alleviate the pressure, and make it something he could keep inside himself, but he didn’t. He needed you to know that it meant it.

“Would it be so bad, marrying me?”

You picked your head up. “No,” you sighed. “It wouldn’t be.” He watched you find your original position, ear over his heart.

“We could be allies.” his heart pounded as you traced patterns on his skin. “You’re the first person I’ve met I’d consider that with. I could make you the First Lady of Panem.”

Being the First Lady was an appealing idea. You’d be able to do so much more in that position. It was a core belief of yours that the games were only the first step in binding the loyalty of the country, to furthering the control over the populace. Aid programs needed to be doled out in the Districts. People who were content were less likely to look behind the curtain and see what was really happening.

“What happens when you fall in love with someone? Would we divorce and I’d lose everything, both the games and my position?” there was uncertainty in your voice.

There could never be someone after you. You were it for him. Sure he could find a docile wife and marry her, leave her be and just have kids with her. But she could never truly know him. But you could, and you were learning the true him. And you wouldn’t make him separate his work and home life, you’d dive into it with him, lethal and cunning.

“That won’t happen,” he was blunt with his statement. “You’re the only one I could do this with.”

It felt like the weight was finally lifting off him some. The pressure that had been building and threatening to blow, to whistle like a kettle. As much as he had intended for your relationship to be a temporary political alliance, he wanted it to be permanent. He didn’t trust people, but he was growing to trust you, knowing that your goals were ultimately the same.

“But what if it does?” He had never seen you so worried about his feelings, genuine concern. “Or what if I fall in love with someone else?”

“Y/N,” his thumb brushed your lips, making you face him again. “I promise you that is never going to happen. Okay?”

“Okay.”

With a final look of determination, kissed you, his lips bruising against your own. He was hoping that it conveyed that he meant it with all his heart. He was never going to fall in love with someone else, the home you made in his heart was always going to be yours. The decor exactly how you left it if you ever walked away, waiting for you to come back. You’d never get the chance to walk away but that was the sentiment, that he could forgive you for leaving him if he took you back and you stayed with him. A dove with a broken wing was still a dove. It might not be able to soar in the slides, free from the gravity of the world, but it was still a dove. Even if he broke you and locked you up, you’d still be you.

He could never love another, not when he loved you. Coriolanus loved you. The realisation shook him, a tempestuous collision of the man he was and the man he wanted to be. The crack formed by Lucy Gray was broken open once again by you. He had convinced himself that love was a weakness, that it was something to be exploited. Over the past year of getting to know you, getting to be with you, you had challenged his core beliefs, forcing him to confront the fact that he loved you.

It was hard admitting it to himself. Just hours earlier he had told Tigris off for even suggesting the idea of it, vehemently denying it. He didn’t want to love you then, terrified at the idea of you finding out and leaving. But you had said it wouldn’t be so bad to be married to him, that you’d be willing to be allies for the rest of your life. The truth was there though, written into every interaction he had with you. The glaring reality that he could no longer ignore, lingered in his eyes like a burned-in image.

It was terrifying, the exact opposite of the control he wanted to have over those around him, to have you control his heart. The practised emotional detachment he had led his life with failed in his darkest hour. The fear that you’d be just like Lucy Gray and run. It didn’t matter that you both worked on the games, that he had seen you develop new ways to punish the Capitol’s enemies, that you had just as much darkness within you as he did. That you were as ruthless as he was. The betrayal he had once experienced at the hands of a District dog had him petrified of it happening again.

Could he erase your existence like he did hers if something happened? The thought was both horrifying and tempting. He didn’t want it to come to that, to erase you, to discard you like a broken toy. You were better than Lucy Gray, you wouldn’t betray him. He wouldn’t let you. But he couldn’t come to you with this, not yet. Coriolanus Snow needed you to break down and beg him to tell him that he loved you. When he could see you, lost in your feelings for him, then he could tell you. Not before, not after. But at the moment when you are in desperate need of him, he could tell you. Only then could he believe that you loved him too.

______________________________________

Things have been busy since then and luckily you have been able to avoid conversation with your mother too. Coriolanus and you had no time to talk about your game plan and what would've happened next as the games started. Every day you were at the Citadel, ensuring things ran smoothly. He was there too, doing his own work, but the amount you had to do kept you from each other. It wasn’t until after the games ended that the two of you got a moment alone. Of course, you had been to several events together but you couldn't talk about things there. So when the last person left the production room, you were finally alone with him.

“Did you mean what you said that night on the balcony, that it was hard pretending that you loved me?”

The two of you were in his private lab. You were sitting on the edge of his desk instead of a chair, something he noticed you liked to do. After the cameras had been turned off you had taken your hair down from the pinned updo made of a braid, letting the braid hang loose. The heels you were wearing off your feet and lost in the room. Coriolianus’ head was in your lap as your fingers brushed through his hair. The slight stubble he’d grown over the last two days catching on your tights.

His voice was muffled by your thigh. “No.”

“No you didn't mean it or no it isn’t hard pretending that you love me?” Your fingers were putting him to sleep. It had been so long since he had been touched like this. He only had one strong memory of his mother. They had been sitting before the fire, her belly full with his younger sister, her finger running through his, much like your own, singing a song he couldn’t remember now, the melody lost with time.

“No,” he finally replied, groggy. “It’s not hard pretending that I love you”

There was a flicker of hope within you when he first confessed to you that night on the balcony. You had convinced yourself that he was being vulnerable with you then, letting you in. Was this him adding kindling to that fire or dousing it?

“Is it easy then?” Each word was laced with intrigue and tinged with trepidation. The question wormed itself into the conversation, hanging in the air like the hum of the machinery. He tensed under you like he had been unprepared for this conversation, a betrayal of how he normally was.

Coriolanus’ response was slow, deliberate and weighted, with every individual syllable chosen carefully. “No, it’s not easy either.” The threading of your fingers felt so good against his scalp, it was criminal. “It’s neither easy nor hard, it’s necessary.” He shrugged with that statement, drowsy from the long day and your actions.

It was strange seeing him like this, his head in your lap as he was half asleep. The Coriolanus you knew was a man of fronts, never betraying his persona of unwavering composure and unyielding strength. He was smart and capable, bringing the Snow family back from the brink of destruction. But now there was no front present. He was relaxed and open, the tension in his shoulders finally released as he rested on your thighs. You could see every pore of skin, every hair out of place. There was a faint scar above his lip, so blended with his skin that you had never seen it before. It had access to the same medical and cosmetic treatments as you did meaning that he had left this one there on purpose. A reminder of something that had happened to him.

You chewed on his words as you watched him. It was neither easy nor hard pretending that he loved you, it was necessary. It was a non-answer, a refusal to tell you his feelings on the matter, that itself a revealing statement. He was used to his words working on others, his honied lips spinning the sweetest lies. But you had watched him, seen him change over the years. Coriolanus was a man burdened with his own demons that sat at the table with him. There was an understanding in that. You had your own demons that sat in the corner of your room every night, watching you sleep and whispering dangerous things. Neither of you were innocent good-hearted people, both of you violent and deadly.

But his cracks were showing, and that night under the stars with too much to drink, he had let you see just how much they were cracking. You were willing to pick up the pieces and help him put them back together. Your own feelings were the same as his, you were just better at hiding it.

“My father wants us to have an engagement party.”

“When?”

“In two weeks at my family estate,” knowing your father, it was going to be a spectacle. He doted on you. “But he wants to have a private dinner before that, just your family and mine.” His only family was Grandma’am and Tigris. If you wanted to, you could count the Plinths as family, even though he hated the thought of having any relationship with them.

“That’s fine. I’m sure Grandma’am will be excited, she’s been pestering me about marrying you while she’s still alive to see it.”

“She wants you to marry me?”

He murmured some form of agreement, still out of it. “She says you make me smile like I haven’t since I was a boy. It’s annoying actually, she keeps demanding that I bring you around for lunch.” This was news. Your interactions with Grandma’am had always been under the pretence of public events, you never thought much of them, but apparently she had. More than that, she thought more of your effect on her grandson.

“You should be kinder to her, you don’t know how long she’s got left.”

Coriolanus’ head lifted from your lap, rubbing his eyes as he propped his head up on a hand. “I know,” it wasn’t nice to have to think about the fact his Grandma’am was up there in age, that she maybe had another 15 years left. If that. “I’ll tell her we’ll do lunch then.”

Your smile was irresistible. “Good. The least you can do for her is let her think that you’ve found someone you genuinely love, and who loves you just as much. She’ll never know that it's just an act either. It’ll let her rest easy knowing you’re taken care of.”

His heart sank, and his stomach dropped out and onto the ground.

“Yeah, it’s a good act too.”

______________________________________

Coriolanus paced in the foyer, stopping every so often his fingers fidgeting with the knot of his tie, loosening and tightening it. His outfit was simple and smart today. His father's button-up with a red tie, a grey pinstripe waistcoat and matching trousers. The black leather of his oxfords had been polished earlier in the morning. He felt antsy, just wanting to get this luncheon over with. He shouldn’t have told you that Grandma’am wanted this, he must have been out of his mind when he did.

“Coriolanus my boy,” Grandma’am had snuck up behind him, making him jump as she put her hands on his shoulders. “You look as handsome as always, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

His smile was weak in the mirror, not reaching his eyes. “Thank you Grandma’am.” She fiddled with the shoulder of his shirt, lining it up properly as it had been moved from his walking around.

“You must really love her if it’s got you like this.”

“I do.” The words were heavy. This was the first time he had acknowledged his feelings for you to another person. The vulnerability threatened to consume him.

“I’m glad,” her eyes became teary as she spoke. “Your mother loved your father so much. I remember their wedding day. She was so nervous, running around like a rabbit. You remind me of her sometimes.” she threw her hands up like the statement was outlandish. “But of course, you’re more like your father than anything else. Strong Coriolanus Snow.”

They rarely talked about his parents, or Tigris’ parents, like this. It was easier for them all to let the dead stay dead. A bittersweet ache spread through him.

“I’m glad.” He reached out and took Grandma's hand, offering her some comfort. Talking about her dead children always set her off. They stood in silence for a beat, hand in hand, each processing their own feelings before he shattered the quiet.

“It’s easier to let the dead stay dead.”

Grandma’am nodded, her handkerchief to her eye to clean up the tears she had spilt. “Sometimes,” she acknowledges, “the past is too painful to revisit. But it’s important to remember Coriolanus. To remember the love, the laughter, the life that was lived. To honour those who came before you.”

But he didn’t want to remember the past. The past made everything worse.

The ring of the elevator cut the conversation short. You were here, and he was nervous. This was no different than a public event, you both knew the parts to play, but it was so different at the same time. You were in his family home, eating with him and his Grandma’am, and doing it purely because you thought she deserved to think someone loved him. Doing it because you cared for her. It was here that his history echoed, ghosts of the past hanging on every wall. Remnants of the boy he once was tucked away in boxes, now dusty with age.

As the elevator doors opened, revealing you standing there, those boxes came out of storage and were placed on the table for you to sort through.

“Oh! Miss Gaul! Please come in.” Grandma’am rushed towards you, excited to have you over.

“Grandma’am,” you chided, pulling her into a hug. She had shrunk in her old age and your heels didn’t help the equation, making you bend down to do so. “I’ve told you a thousand times to call me Y/N. Plus soon enough I’ll Mrs. Snow.”

“I know, I know, I just forget sometimes. Perhaps I should just call you Mrs. Snow!”

“Now I think that’s a wonderful idea!” You took a second to greet Coriolanus with a kiss and then went back to chatting with Grandma’am taking her hands in your own.

You were so delicate with her, it pained him to watch you be so kind to her. You nodded along diligently to whatever she said and were actively engaging in the conversation. He could tell that you weren’t pretending to care and that you actually wanted to speak with his grandmother. She was so animated with you like years had been removed from her. He had spent so long trying to protect her from all that had happened, and all that he had done. His actions had severed parts of their relationship, and with Tigris not living in the apartment anymore, she must have grown lonely. But you brought her back, the vibrant woman who could connect with the world.

Coriolanus sidled up to you, arm wrapping around your waist. “I hate to interrupt your conversation ladies, but I do believe Y/N came here for lunch.” It felt so right to have you like this.

“Yes, yes, Coriolanus,” Grandma’am started, “I’ll go make sure the cook has prepared everything. Why don't you show Y/N into the dining room.”

“Of course, Grandma’am.”

Alone, he nipped at your ear, his breath making your heart skip a beat. His hands were warm, one placed on your stomach the the other on your arm. You could smell the mint on his breath when he uttered a whisper in your ear, his voice low and husky. “You look stunning today.”

You were wearing all black today, something that went against the average Capitol woman. It was a high neck mini dress, stopping a few inches above your knee. The sleeves were long, longer than your hands and instead of normal holes, the fabric was spliced up to your elbow. Your heels were lower than they normally were from press events, no doubt more comfortable. The splash of colour came from your earrings. They were red, with a velvety coating on them, and shaped like rose petals separated and hung on a chain. You had remembered Grandma’am’s love of roses.

“It’s not for you, you know.” you took every opportunity to tease him. “But thank you.”

You had no idea what you did to him. “If it were for me it’d be on the floor by now.”

“Well then, it’s a good thing this is for Grandma’am and not you.” You patted his cheek. “Now are you going to show me to the dining room Coriolanus?” When you said his name you mirrored the way his Grandma’am said it.

A crooked grin rose on his face with a small laugh. “With pleasure, my dear,” he replied biting your ear again before leading you through the grand hallways of the apartment. His hand never left your back until you were sat down. You were on Coriolanus’ right, with his chair being at the head of the table.

The table was smaller than the average dining room table in the Capitol, unsurprising given the number of Snow family members there were left. It looked to seat about 10 people maximum. It was a dark-stained wood, a style that was popular in the prewar days. The walls were a pale blue, covered in a patterned wallpaper. The signature tile flooring of the apartment was carried into the dining room, laid in a geometric style with the table in the centre. It was all a testament to the family’s long history and enduring presence in the Capitol, a microcosm of the Capitol itself.

“Have you told her about the dinner?”

“No I haven’t had a chance yet-”

“What dinner?” Grandma’am sauntered into the room, waiting for Coriolanus to pull out her seat so she could sit. “The cook prepared quite a lunch today,” she listed out the menu after she sat down, Coriolanus returning to his own seat, arms resting on the table.

“That all sounds wonderful Grandma’am. Corio’s told me how wonderful your chef is.”

“Yes, I do agree. It took me ages to find one that I liked, so many of them are lacklustre these days.”

“Well I hope my family’s chef won't disappoint you then.” you grabbed his hand on the table. “My father wanted me to invite you to a family dinner on Friday evening. It’s just a small get-together to introduce everyone to each other properly. After all, we’ll be one family soon.

“Oh, that is a wonderful idea! I’ve always had such admiration for your father’s interior design work.” Grandma’am's voice faded out for Coriolanus as she spoke. Rambling about how your father had ‘brought back the elegance of the Capitol’ through his job. Coriolanus was focused on one thing.

You were wearing the ring. He had gone in between rings for what felt like a millennium till settling on a custom made. It was reminiscent of the one he remembered his mother wearing, covered in diamonds and made of gold. Your was made of platinum, far more durable than gold and less like the be damaged by your time in the labs and only plated in gold. The centre stone was large, 1.5 carats, an emerald cut diamond. The style of the ring was similar to an ornate mirror. There were 22 stones in total, each one glittering from the chandelier's light. He hadn't stopped with just the one ring either, he needed to decorate you in the finest jewels he could buy with the Plinth family fortune. That's why your index finger had a stack of thinner, geometric, stack complimenting the engagement ring.

It thrilled him. Wedding rings were no more than a shackle connecting you to him. A show of his authority over you. Marrying you wasn’t about companionship, it was to own you. To change your last name to his own and let everyone know that he would never leave you alone. Maybe he’d let you hyphenate your last name, and you’d like that, it went against the norm.

His thumb rubbed against his own engagement ring. His was simpler, he didn’t enjoy the over-the-top couture and showmanship of the Capitol, a think gold plated platinum band with a matching kite cut diamond flush set into it. The kite shape echoed by etchings around the placement. You had picked the ring out for him after seeing your own, saying that you wanted it to match with yours. It was ironic that you chose a kite shape. They flew high in the sky, a symbol of freedom and soaring ambition.

The luncheon was nice, you had to admit. You didn’t have a living grandmother and it was nice to talk with Grandma’am as you ate. She kept telling stories of Coriolanus’ youth, much to his chagrin. The stories, and how he treated her, were different than what you had expected. He was cold towards Tigris, but he had so much warmth towards Grandma’am. What had happened between the two that caused a rift? Grandma’am spoke as if the two had been thick as thieves growing up.

When the plates were cleared, you joined Grandma’am in the kitchen as she made coffee for the two of you, Coriolanus somewhere in the apartment answering a message on his communicuff. You had offered to do it but she insisted on doing it herself, telling you that the machine was too complicated for a guest to use. But you know exactly how to use it, but that was a secret.

When she sat across from you, both your mugs steaming, her eyes were sombre. “Can you be honest with a foolish old woman?”

“I don’t see any old women here, but I can be honest.” her chuckle was wethered and dry, telling of someone who had lived through too much.

“I know my Coriolanus is a difficult man,” she always insisted on using his full name. “He’s much like his father in that regard, and I would know having raised them both. But you’re good for him. When I see him with you it's like all the horrible things he had to live through are forgotten, and that he’s that smiling boy running around the apartment with his mother chasing after him again.” Grandma’am’s voice broke as the spoke, teetering on the edge of crying.

You grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She loved him so much.

“I love him Grandma’am, I really do.” candour in every word you spoke. “With him, I feel like I can do anything, be anything. Sometimes I think it’s all too good to be true and that one day I’ll wake up and this was all a dream that I had. Every day I pinch myself to make sure it's still real.”

“Will you always?”

“There’s no future in which I don’t love him. He’s my now and always. And even if one day we weren’t together anymore, I’d still love him and I’d still support him. Just like he’d do the same for me.”

As you spoke Grandma’am’s tears flowed freely, but they weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of gratitude. She saw in you that she didn’t have to worry anymore, that someone other than her would love him unconditionally. Be a sanctuary to his troubled heart.

“Thank you.” as the older woman bawled you got up to hug her, rubbing her back as she sobbed.

Coriolanus had heard the whole thing but he couldn’t tell if you had said it for her or it was a confession of your true feelings. You were always perfect at playing your part.

taglist: @serrendiipty @namelesslosers @glitteryblizzardsalad

#tdoaa #the death of an actor #uzuri writes #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow x reader #corio snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x you #tbosas #the hunger games imagine #hunger games imagine #hunger games smut #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg fanfiction #smut #coriolanus snow x reader smut

662 notes · View notes

chirpsythismorning · 8 months

Text

Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt

Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.

So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.

So, without further ado, back to our roots:

Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).

Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.

I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.

For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.

These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.

I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.

El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).

We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.

Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.

Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?

Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.

Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.

And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)

Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.

Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).

Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.

Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?

It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.

In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?

Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.

If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.

Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.

So... How are we feeling?

Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)

It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.

It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.

And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.

Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.

After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.

Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.

Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.

Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.

And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.

And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.

This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.

But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.

Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.

So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.

It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.

And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.

While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.

But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.

Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...

But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.

I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.

So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.

Continued

351 notes · View notes

cambion-companion · 6 months

Note

hi!! binge read all your raphael stuff and i think it added more worms in my brain!! :D thank you!!!

raphael idea: artist!reader (or tav/durge) that raph commissions to paint a portrait of him. maybe how the sitting would go- would he be monologuing? would he be looking over contracts? would he be sneaking fond (in his own way) glances at the lovely little artist sitting in his foyer putting so much passion and concentration into capturing his devilish visage?

or maybe smth like he can't make it to a sitting one day so he sends haarlep to do it expecting that the artist won't be able to tell the difference. instead, his artist refuses to start working since that's CLEARLY not her patron!! his facial structure is off!! that piece of hair doesn't flow down like that!! and his gaze- clearly not!!! so raph comes back hours (or even days) later to find the little artist still in his house, waiting for his return so that they can resume work <3

I LOVE this!

Thank you for reading my work and for sending this lovely message in! This idea kinda ran away with me but I hope you enjoy this drabble!

“Where is Raphael?” You squinted at the devil lounging on the gold embroidered cushions.

On first glance, it appeared to be the cambion you’d met yestereve. He had commissioned you to paint a self-portrait for him, showed you the many that already hung from his marble walls. You’d begun your work, sketching the lines and filling them out with practiced dexterity.

Due to time constraints, the devil was a busy man it seemed, you had to cut your painting short, determining to begin again the following day.

Now you sat again, upon the small stool, staring in consternation at the creature who would have you believe it was Raphael.

The fiend stretched, feigning a languid uncaring composure. In all but those burning eyes, focused so sharply upon your frowning face.

“Whatever do you mean, little succulent?” It was Raphael’s voice as well, though something was off about the cadence. “You have everything you need right here.”

You shook your head, frustrated, lowering your paintbrush from where it had been poised over the canvas. “No, this isn’t going to work. You aren’t him.”

“My, quite the perceptive thing.” The devil straightened, looking displeased. “How very annoying.”

“What…who are you?” You asked, a slight tingle of fear running down your spine.

“I am Haarlep.” The devil’s long tail swished to curl around his feet.

“That’s an odd name.”

“Isn’t it just.”

Your frown deepened, an annoyed breath hissed through your clenched teeth. “Well, I cannot continue until the real Raphael returns. When will he be back?”

“The master will not return for quite a while.” Haarlep rolled his shoulders, looking equally put off. “I do my job quite well. What exactly is the issue?”

You set down your tools and folded your arms, still wary of whatever this creature was. “The way your hair falls, the cadence of your voice…”

“All aspects I am sure you can rectify without too much issue.” Haarlep interrupted with a petulant gesticulation, but you spoke over him.

“And your eyes.” Your own eyes narrowed in concentration, focusing on the burning embers within those inky black orbs. “Your eyes are wrong.”

“I’m offended.” Haarlep deadpanned, then tilted his head with a curious smile. “Explain.”

“I cannot.” You shrugged.

“Then work on painting everything except the face.” Haarlep repositioned himself upon the sofa, his eyes rolling slightly in bemusement.

“For professional reasons, I cannot.” You didn’t budge. “The master of the house didn’t notify me of this change.”

“The master of the house apologizes.” Now that voice you recognized, Raphael’s. Deeper and with more presence than the voice Haarlep used.

Raphael, still in human form, strode into view and offered you a wry smile. He bowed slightly at the waist, his brown eyes never leaving yours. “I admit to not foreseeing your powers of insight. What a delightful discovery, my dear.”

He turned and observed Haarlep with mild amusement for a moment. “You’re slipping.”

“Nonsense.” Haarlep stood from the chaise and flexed his batlike wings. “You know as well as I, some things cannot be replicated.”

“Such as?” Raphael directed the question to you.

You shifted, your behind slowly numbing from the uncomfortable stool. “Well, the way Haarlep carries himself for one.” You said carefully speaking the other’s name. “The eyes are also completely different, not in shape or color but the nature they hold within them.”

“Fascinating.” Raphael put his hand to his chin, a slight quirk to his lips. “The eyes. Windows to the soul.” He laughed, short and rough.

You didn’t quite understand the joke but smiled politely. “Have you time now? I can come back later.”

“No.” Raphael shook his head and placed a firm hand on your shoulder, taking a moment to inspect your canvas. “This is important work. I am at your disposal.” Raphael’s human form melted away. His hand on your shoulder grew in size and sharp claws bit through your shirt to your skin. Hellfire eyes looked down upon you, familiar, calculating. “For as long as you need me.”

#haarlep #raphael x tav #raphael x reader #raphael bg3 #raphael baldur's gate 3 #bg3 drabble #cambion vs incubus

393 notes · View notes

gendercomsumer · 1 year

Text

Twisted Wonderland Confessions Part 5!

A/N: We're almost finished with the series! Idk what I'll write for after but I'll figure it out eventually. Also my computer broke in the middle of writing this- so yayyyyy

Warnings: Not proof read, Ooc Sebek, Lilia being a menace /hj (Also not knowing how to write him-),

GN!Reader

Characters: Sebek Zigavolt (773 words), Lilia Vanrouge (509 words), Leona Kingscholar (761 words)

Sebek Zigavolt

You'd meet him during the spell drive tournament (Book 2 w/ savanaclaw) When there was the plan to take Diasmonia out of the running for the whole thing.

It was only a small moment you two saw each other but from first impressions he was loud, and most definitely not afraid of showing his loudness off.

You ran into each other again during school realizing you had more classes with the fae then you first thought.

While Sebek is very loud at times, he's diligent and takes great and very organized notes (Even if they're only in pencil with no indicating colors.)

As a friend Sebek is a bit strange

You'll usually find him doing his own thing or lecturing a student on the topic of respect.

You two would hangout during lunch usually close by Malleus in case he needs Sebek to guard him.

A personal head canon is that he's also a bit suspicious of everyone, not like heavily so but it came naturally with him being a knight.

So he might not fully trust you at first to be able to be at two arms length of Malleus.

I mean at least he's being a good guard am I right?

He will let you borrow his notes if you need to, saying some comment along the lines of, "Ha! Of course a human would need my notes!"

While he can help you in math and science he does struggle in art and the more creative classes.

Help him with those and he'll see it as a favors for favors situation.

I can't really see him easily identifying let alone accepting his feelings for you

He at first thinks he's sick, or if you know magic you've somehow slipped a curse on him

He goes to Lilia for guidance and this old man while he looked composed was cackling on the inside.

Lilia explains that Sebek is most likely falling in love with the human and Sebek seems almost appalled by the suggestion.

Him? A fae? Falling for you some random pathetic human?!

No no that can't be right!

This was one of the only times he started to question Lilias judgment and views on the matter.

After getting the same opinion of Silver as well, and a lot of thought, he comes to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, he might have a teeny itty bitty crush on you.

That's as much as he was going to admit though.

Lilia what do you mean when will he tell them? He's not!

He tries to act the same but the words of his family stuck to the back of his head.

How passionate you were about things you loved and how you have done so much despite being only a human

at times you could catch his stone face starting to melt into a soft lovesick smile

Maybe that crush wasn't as small as he said it was

But he'd never admit that

Confession wise, either he puts it off for as long as he can or you decide to go up and confront him on his very badly hidden feelings.

So for this let's say you've picked up on his hiding of feelings and decide that now's the best time as any to let him know how you feel

You kept your fingers crossed that he felt the same as Lila led you through their dorm

"Alright third door on the left should be Sebek's, don't get too crazy now kids!"

Lilia left down the stairs with a childish laugh as you went down the hall hearing Sebeks voice through the walls.

It really showed how loud his voice could be considering the dorm was made of stone

Standing outside the door you could easily hear Sebek monologuing to himself about... He was talking about you?

The mention of your name was sudden followed by the names of Lilia and Silver.

"If both master Lilia and Silver say that I've... Fallen for this human, does that mean it's true!? mater Lilia is rarely wrong... But I can't be! They're just a human! A human who makes me feel like I'm in front of the thorn fairy herself at times... No no! How dare I compare the two!!"

He continued and a dust of color was brought to your cheeks to raise a hand to knock on his door hopefully loud enough he'd hear.

There was a long pause before the door was opened by Sebek and at the sight of you his face flushed.

In an uncharacteristically quiet way he asked "Please tell me you didn't hear any of that... Did you?"

Lilia Vanrouge

One day You walk out of your dorm planning to go get some food from Sam's shop since it had been awhile since you went on a grocery run.

It was a beautiful day out with the just right amount of clouds

You take a step out of your house, and Lilia appears seemingly out of thin air hanging upside down from your shade on the porch of your house

Yep that's how you met, him almost scaring the living shit out of you on a random Tuesday morning

What a fun way to start off!

After him almost killing you with that scare he would randomly pop up at times scaring anyone and everyone around you (after awhile you got used to it)

He's a very fun person over all despite what he's been through with the fae war and all

His jokes and lightheartedness are usually welcome lifting any bad mood you may have.

he'll try his best to help in any classes, he's a fucking god in history having lived though most of what they're teaching

And as the feelings start to appear he's a bit taken aback by their sudden appearance.

He's had many lovers in his years but this time the love feels different almost?

It's hard for him to describe, hell it's hard for him to comprehend, but nonetheless he enjoys the soft feeling you give him when you're around

He'd consider a long while on whether or not he would want a relationship with you

You are a human and he will most definitely out live you no matter what the world has in store

It's just the sad truth of having an extremely long life span like his

Once he is sure of this he will start to make more moves on you and attempt to gauge your reaction to them.

Depending on your reaction will depend when he confesses to you, or how much longer he wants to wait to confess.

I can see his confession being one on the more romantic side, but not like not as romantic as Rook.

Most likely he would confess in the middle of a hangout he'd be subtly flirting with you whether you notice or not is most likely up to how dense or oblivious you are

He'd be laying on the couch of the living room possibly (most defiantly) upside down

You'd be talking about some random topic and you look away for moment and suddenly oop there he is floating upside down in front of you.

You jumped and laughed questioning Lilia what he was doing

He stayed silent for a moment staring at you in a manner some would consider creepy before letting out a small laugh.

You asked what was so funny in a bit of a cautious manner and Lilia smiled at you "I've had plenty of lovers... but none were a stunning nor did they make me feel as strange as you do... so tell me, will you help me explore what makes you the one..?"

Leona Kingscholar

After the events, to say the least, of book two he's very salty about everything for at least a week

Eventually and inevitably the two of you need to work together (Either during or before book 3)

Or Ruggie some how convinced you to help him out with the lazy Lion

And either way hey it worked!

Most of the time Leona is either bored, sleeping, or secret option number 3! bored and wanting to sleep...

He's an interesting character to get along with and once you do it's a different side you see other than the one that's just a lazy ion that Ruggie and the other students need to deal with

You learn very quickly that he's very smart and knows most of what the teachers are teaching.

He just normally doesn't have the energy or the want to participate in classes.

Which in my opinion fair my dude

But because he's really book smart if you ask and he's in a good mood he would "dumb down the lesson" in reality he's reteaching it just in a way that's easier to understand.

He sleeps a lot so he knows how important it is to get enough of said sleep.

So if you're close (good friends and such) if he sees you start to drift off during class or fall asleep, he'll cover for you but will scold you that that's not a proper place to take a nap

He then proceeds to take a nap in potion class with Rook in the room. What was that about proper nap locations Leona?

But either than that he's a bit sassy at times and can joke around, hell he calls you Herbivore all the time, that should be evidence enough.

One time you had fallen asleep under a tree (Silver kinnie energy-) and Leona found you

He ended up staying with you and skipping class to take a nap of his own and that's when his feelings for you start to fully come into light.

When he saw you sleeping there, there was a small part of him who wanted to stay with you and protect you, silly right?

Now Leona's well versed in emotions. He'd seen how his brother acted around his now sister in law and here they were now with the menace of a child Cheeka.

So once these feelings start to become stronger and more prominent it starts to reflect in his behavior

I am an avid believer in the beast men/ mermen are possessive change my mind (warning you can't)

He'd start to stay around you a lot more than normal and once Ruggie joked that you had cat nip in your pocket and Leona was following you because of it.

Leona makes sure you get enough sleep a day. Didn't get 8 hours at least last night, whelp hopefully nothing important is happening in Crewels class cause you're skipping to take a nap!

He also makes sure you're eating right and not burying yourself in your work (I'm looking at you Crowley)

He also gets protective over you and if people look at you the wrong way they will have a lion glaring them down.

As for confessions I can see him being pretty nonchalant about it.

One day you had been studying in your room since you needed help in History.

Leona went to go get something and you decided to ley your head down on your bed to see if you could catch some quick rest

Leona returned sometime later and looked at you confused

you were still awake but you didn't want to bother to open your eyes as you were in a comfortable position and sleep sounded like a very nice idea at the moment

"Oi, Herbivore, are you asleep?" You stayed quiet and still as Leona looked over your face and gave a mischievous smile.

"Well isn't that adorable.. and here I thought I was the lazy one.." He gently brushed some hair out of your face and placed a feather light kiss to your temple

"It was your idea to study and you're the one to fall asleep.." You could feel the color come to your face as Leona sat at the end of the bed watching you

You eventually sat up and Leona laughed seeing the red color across your face "Thought so I wouldn't think you'd fall asleep that quickly, so tell me Herbivore.." Leona leaned closer to you with a smug smile

"you do know it's dangerous to fall asleep around a lion, don't you?"

485 notes · View notes

curtwilde · 11 months

Text

Henry vs Julian

I have been thinking about this a lot. While Henry clearly admires and models his scholar self on Julian, their essential difference is in how they perceive the Ancient Greeks.

Julian's interest in the Ancient Greeks is true interest, he admires their high and exalted values. For him, the Greeks were the highest point of human civilization, and the closer he comes to his own time the more his disdain increases - the Roman Catholic Church he holds in contempt but it's still a 'worthy enemy' not as bad as the Presbyterian Church. It isn't mentioned but he must hold modernism and it's philosophy with disdain - modernist moral vacousness being a direct contradiction of the idealist values loyalty, honor, chastity etc. that were so exalted by the Greeks. Which is why he is always cherry picks, sees only what he wants to see, and invents what he can't - both for himself (his ambiguous involvement with the Isrami government) or for his students (encouraging Richard to lie about his life in California). Since he can't time travel back to Greece himself, he must try to live that life as much as he can and believe himself a character in a Greek play. But it comes, not from a place of wanting to escape his current reality, but true admiration of the ancient Greek way of seeing and doing things.

Henry is a true modernist. The monologue about feeling dead is central to his understanding his character:

Maybe it stems from his near death experience but he sees the world as inherently meaningless, God is dead and heaven and hell have been revealed to be man-made constructs, there is no punishment for evil and since there is no moral line. I think he subconsciously realised all of this before coming to Hampden, but to truly accept it would have been soul-crushing. So he tries to escape it by immersing himself in the Greeks, I imagine the absolutist values, vague representational ideas pertaining to each god might have interested him but really, it could have been anything else, the Medieval Age or the Victorians, anything. He just needed something to be obsessed with, to give meaning to his existence which he subconsciously knew to be meaningless. So is his adoration of Julian, he admired and wanted Julian's ability to almost half-live in another time when, in his view, things mattered more (we have divinity in our midst). It also explains the Bacchanal which is otherwise so out of character for him. The appeal was to escape the soul crushing knowledge of meaninglessness - even if for a while. To worship and call on Dinosiyus with the blind belief of the Ancient Greeks, a kind of belief that simply cannot exist anymore in the postmodern, post-Neitzche world. His harebrained plans also came from the same impulse, including the poison plan, and the one way ticket to Argentina.

I suspect that what subconsciously drove him to murder bunny, aside from the obvious fear of getting caught - is the same thing that drove Mersault to murder the Arab - it's the old existentialist question, if good and bad are relative and there is no punishment for evil, how far can one go? Bunny's murder was Henry's existentialist experiment with himself. And, I think in a way it confirmed for him what he already knew, they escaped unscathed and he didn't feel any of the fear or remorse he expected to feel. While it did give him the momentary sense of power, the feeling that he could now do whatever he wanted if he can be clever enough to not get caught, since he won't be punished for it otherwise. While it gave him enough courage to go get the girl he always wanted - it did confirm for him the inherent meaninglessness of the world. Also, conversely, Camilla could have been another experiment - something must matter, was it love? Camilla was the only girl he knew and he was fond of her - he may not even have thought of her romantically before considering he never cared to act on it in all the time he had known her. But either way, Julian's abandonment broke him.

Coming back to Julian, Julian's abandonment omakes perfect sense to me - he was disgusted by the modernist moral vacousness in his students. He himself was a moral man, but his morals operated on his own standards. He based it on the Greek sense of Honour, not the more modern sense of Justice. His basic instinct was the preservation of his own purity - he couldn't possibly keep on as their teacher. But also, to turn them in would be against his sense of honour - he must have very little respect for the police and law enforcement as institutions being the kind of person he is. Not to mention it would mean his having to be in frequent contact with the police and court. From his point of view atleast, leaving is the only thing he could have done, really.

For Henry however, he sees that his obsession with the Greeks as well as his admiration for Julian as the sham that it really was, is disillusioned with the world, shattered. Except for his fondness for Camilla he didn't really have anyone he loved, he saw his friends as pawns, wasn't close to his family, didn't have any goals in life with everything in his reach with his father's money - the only person he had really loved was Julian, and there he was betrayed. His obsession with the ancient Greeks was also thus tainted with Julian's betrayal - since it wasn't true interest at all, only a disguised attempt at escapism - it wavered and fell apart, and he didn't have a reason to live anymore.

Side note : Richard falls between the two. Like Julian, he had a real interest in the ancient Greeks, but he didn't put them on a pedestal like Julian did. He realised that like his own time, and like all other times in history the Greek civilization too had its own good and bad aspects, and he wanted to learn about it for its own sake. But he doesn't make it his life, or use it to escape his own reality - outside of his classes he was very much rooted in his own time.

#the secret history #tsh #donna tartt #henry winter #julian morrow #richard papen #camilla macaulay #charles macaulay #francis abernathy #bunny corcoran #tina rambles #lit

470 notes · View notes

twomiddlefingersforthehaters · 1 year

Text

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

It is used to confess to someone you like while under the moon. This phrase is a more poetic way of saying 'I love you'. [it's also an indirect way of saying "I love you"] Japanese itself is a very "indirect" language. You don't have to admit things directly because that's impolite or rude. Why I say that is bcz, Kishi place them under the full moon to share their feelings indirectly and also directly. Japanese people prefer indirect ways of expressing their feelings and emotions. A relationship starts when people tell each other their feelings. Expressing your feelings through words has not always been seen as a natural thing. People express their love and affection through their actions. [Although the main ways of expressing love in Japanese culture differ from Western culture]

What does "friend" mean to you??

[Notice how Sasuke averts his eyes from Naruto (as if he's shy or nervous to get a confession from him) while asking 'what does friend mean to him'?]

Raw (Naruto): 友達だからだ

Romaji: tomodachi... dakarada

Literal: because we're friends

Raw (Sasuke): それはかつて聞いた... お前にとってのそれは･･･いったい何なんだ?

Romaji: sore wa katsute kīta ... omae nitotte no sore wa ･･･ ittai nanina nda?

Literal: I heard that before... but what the heck does that mean to you?

[As Naruto continues to give the same 'we're friends' response, he becomes visibly angry, clearly displeased with the answer]

Raw: それ説明しろって言われてもオレも正直よく分かんねェーよそんなの…

Romaji: sore setsumei shiro tte iwarete mo ore mo shōjiki yoku wakanne yo sonna no …

Literal: Even if you ask me to explain it.... I honestly don't properly understand... that kind of thing...

Raw: ただお前のそーゆー背負ってゴチャゴチャしてるとこ見てっと・・なんでか・・

Romaji: tada omae no so you seotte gochagocha shiteru toko mite tto... nande ka ...

Literal: It's just that.... When I see you carrying burden on your back... getting all messed up.... for some reason...

Raw: ・・・オレが・・・痛てーんだ

Romaji: ...ore ga... Itate nda

Literal: ...I'm.... hurting...

Raw: すっげー痛くてとてもじゃねーけどそのままほっとけねーんだってばよ!

Romaji: sugge itakute... totemo janē kedo sonomama hottokenē n dattebayo !

Literal: It exceedingly painful. But not just as awfully...as it is now...I can't just leave you alone!

The word Naruto using was 痛く(itaku) meaning- exceedingly or extremely pain. It's not just 'Ouch! It hurts!' kind of pain. It means HE IS IN "EXTREME PAIN". The magnitude and intensity of that 'pain' is so overwhelming that it affects your body and mind.

What was the reason for Naruto & Sasuke's pain to be more emotional??

N. B. When Naruto says that he understands the pain of Gaara's loneliness and Gaara says that he feels pain in his heart... the word used for pain in both cases is 「痛い」 (itai). 「痛く｣ (itaku) is a similar word, but with a more intense and deeper meaning.

Because of those words Naruto says to Sasuke, his face feels a mixture of emotions: touched, or surprised. Sasuke's expression here is probably one of the most emotional expressions you have ever seen. This made him confess his feelings for Naruto (And It was hella poetic (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)

In Sasuke's monologue his words are very deep and intense (the choice of Kanjis are complicated). It is also way too direct and carries a lot of intimacy.

Raw: そしてなぜだか安心したんだ

Romaji: soshite nazeda ka anshin shita nda

Literal: And I don't know why, somehow.... I felt relieved.

Raw: だがそれは．．．同時に弱さだと思った

Romaji: daga sore wa ... dōjini yowa sada to omotta

Literal: But... at the same time... I thought It was a weakness.

Raw: だから・・お前の苦しむ姿を見る度・・そう・・・オレも---

Romaji: dakara ... omae no kurushimu sugata o miru tabi ... sō... ore mo...

Literal: that's why. . . Every time I see you appearing to be suffering. . . that's right I, too...

Raw: オレが痛くなったんだ

Romaji: ore ga itaku natta nda

Literal: I become pained.

Sasuke also using the same word 『痛く』 and both of them were in such intense pain that words couldn't explain how much it was. It really gives- "If you truly love someone you can feel every joy, sadness and pain of the other as if they were your own". Once you get that, it's easy to understand his reaction to Naruto saying he felt his pain. Sasuke reacted that way because he realized his love was reciprocated. That this feeling of 'friendship' that Naruto was going on about was the same thing that Sasuke had been feeling all this time and it was never friendship. It was more than that. And It was love.

#I hate you kishi but I love you #sns #Narusasu #sasunaru #nsn #my rough translation #2mf4dhaters.text #Edited because I didn't noticed I typed 'itaku' in 'itai'#edited again (I forgot to remove dattebayo) 😮‍💨

635 notes · View notes

kimdokjas · 10 months

Text

why you should read Mystic Prince if you enjoyed ORV

Mystic Prince / Prince of Myolyeong (묘령의 황자) is a fantasy and action-adventure manhwa with art & story by Aheuredal (아흐레달) and in my humble opinion, an absolute hidden gem. it's literally one the best manhwas i've ever read (among the top 2) and i've finally gathered my thoughts enough to try to articulate why i love it so much, and hopefully convince you to give it a chance!

here's the official summary on webtoon:

An immortal emperor rules the Kingdom of Yeol, a divine country blessed by gods with awesome powers. After a thousand years of peaceful rule, the time has come for a new emperor to be chosen. This is determined by a series of trials, in which twenty princes with special powers who have trained since birth must compete. As all princes of varying personalities and agendas gather to partake in the trials, intrigue and possibly even bloodshed seem all but certain. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the other princes, the Fourth Prince Jeok-yeon Ryu hides a secret he must guard with his life.

anyway i literally made a carrd for this, that's how much i care about this manhwa and i worked very hard on it!! you can find the carrd here*

(* also if you hate daily pass like me pls note that there's a fan translation as well! just keep in mind that some episodes have ost but you can find the links to youtube on the carrd as well. but if you enjoy it please do try to leave likes, comments, and a good rating on webtoon to support the creator!)

Mystic Prince is incredibly unique in terms of story and execution that i can't really compare it to anything else but here's why i think you'll enjoy it, especially if you also liked orv:

strong-willed MC who's not naturally skilled but works extremely hard

said MC is willing to suffer and hurt themselves to achieve their goals (aka kim dokja-esque tendencies)

seemingly cold and aloof ML with yoo joonghyuk vibes at first, naturally gifted and seems to look down on everyone

...but is actually head over heels for MC and just doesn't know how to express his feelings

ensemble cast of incredibly complex and well-developed characters with different personalities and motivations

MC seems a little dense at times but they have a tragic backstory that explains why they're Like That

incredibly bisexual vibes !! like literally off the charts

slowburn romance that is cooking up such a great meal

MC and ML have actually known each other for centuries

characters go through trials that involve risking death

extremely unique lore and world-building

i said ML before but there are actually multiple potential MLs with how much complexity all the character dynamics have

beautiful character designs (literally over 10+ within the main cast and they're all so unique)

evocative writing and heartfelt monologues that seem taken out of a book of pure poetry

narratively significant motifs of fire and water (à la orv's black/white and reader/protagonist)

profound and realistic depiction of the inner feelings and troubles that the characters go through

incredibly heart-wrenching original soundtrack! (actually made me cry)

some of the most gorgeous art i've seen in any manhwa (seriously pls just open the 1st episode and look at the first few panels)

[spoilers below for chapter ~10]

delicious gender fuckery

MC is actually cross-dressing afab (i personally hc them as genderqueer; korean doesn't have gendered pronouns but the official tl uses she/her pronouns)

bonus: they're built like a fucking tank (as seen here) like hello??? which is so refreshing to see for an afab MC

plus they're also canonically lacking in empathy but still deeply compassionate which again is really refreshing

i'm sure there's even more stuff i'm forgetting but these are just some reasons off the top of my head why i think this manhwa is so amazing

please do give Mystic Prince a chance, it's an absolute delight!! there are multiple beautiful covers but here's a couple of them, BE ART BAITED <3

and finally some of my personal reactions to Mystic Prince and also a note regarding the content warnings under the cut!

feel free to skip this part lol but personally when i look for recs, i love when people tell me their emotional reactions and how passionate they are about it! so if this tells you anything,

this is the ONLY manhwa to have made me cry so far (yes that includes the orv webtoon, but not the novel ofc) like actually ugly sobbing with snot and tears and everything lmao

(it's not all sad though! this manhwa will have you clutching your heart one moment and then cackling out loud the next)

and it's also the ONLY manhwa i've ever spent actual money on before the fan tl picked it up just so i could read the advanced chapters (i'm notoriously cheap so this says a lot imo)

and i'm not alone in this, every other comment on webtoon is people saying the exact same thing. the general consensus is that this is 100% a hidden gem (webtoon DP my behated why'd you have to shoot yourself in the foot like that)

also regarding the content warnings on the carrd: this was my first time making a list of cws (i don't think anyone else has made one yet?) and i was a little hesitant to add them, so i sincerely apologize if i missed anything!! if anyone else has anything else to add (cws or otherwise) then please feel free to send me a message and i'll be happy to edit it!!

(btw this was inspired by this post which is also a great summary for why u should read a cnovel called mist unlimited)

#mystic prince #prince of myolyeong #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #webtoon #manhwa #manhwa recommendation #묘령의 황자 #gabby speaks

215 notes · View notes

notfreetoday · 8 months

Text

MPW Ep 2 Subtitle Corrections

Subtitle Corrections: Ep 1 here

Cultural/Language Tidbits: Ep 2 here

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks to everyone reading the first post and geeking out with me in the notes, I really appreciate it XD Ok, Ep 2, let's go! Sorry in advance for the length!

If you're wondering why Yoh's freaking out about the rainy season even though they've been together for 3 years, the manga artist posted a clarification on twitter:

By the way, “it’s been 3 years since then” – that phrase refers to it being 3 years since that conversation regarding the slave contract. As for living together, they’ve only just started (to do so) around Mar/April*, so (at this point) it’s only been a few months (for them). What if (I) got it wrong…. I remember making a note of it, but the file that I wrote it in and passed over (to the crew) couldn’t be found right, so… (was it) a dream?” *Japan's rainy season comes around June/July, so this means that this is the first rainy season these two have been experienced together.

[Y: まずっ] Y: Tastes bad In case the original "that sucks" sounds like Yoh might be talking about the news of the young forecaster - he's really just talking about the food here.

[S: 遅くなるからいらねぇっつっただろう] Original: I told you not to bother since I returned late Mine: I told you I wouldn't need it cause I'd be late right? This is actually a pretty harsh sounding line tbh. It's sort of inkeeping with Segasaki's curtness, but still pretty harsh - so this tells us he's tired after a long day, and explains the frown on his face that Yoh just wipes away with his cuteness

Nikujaga literally means meat and potatoes. It's a stewed dish and a very well-loved comfort food. Super easy to make too (link goes to an easy to follow recipe, and the site also explains a little about the dish).

[Y: 本当、顔だけはいいよな] Y: Really, it's only his face that looks good.

I've talked about this in my cultural/language tidbits for this episode (linked up top) but I'll add it here for completion's sake

[Y: あ、いや。なんでもない…です*] (Ah, iya, nandemonai…desu*) Y: Ah, no, it's….nothing* Yoh let's his sentence trail off before tacking on a "desu" at the end. "Desu" is an ending verb characteristic of "polite" speech, which Yoh doesn't use frequently with Segasaki (in fact, by this point, he has not used polite speech with Segasaki at all, except for maybe saying the full form of the word "welcome home", and even that's pushing it). Here he adds it at the end as an afterthought (the polite form of "iya" would be "iie", if he had wanted the whole sentence to be polite from the get go), which tells us that Yoh's feeling a little off-kilter here, and does introduce the slightest distance between him and Segasaki. We'll see this distance increase as the episode goes on.

[Y: いや、どう考えても食べ過ぎだろう] Y: No but, no matter which way you look at it, (he's) eaten way too much hasn't he? Btw, if your hair started standing at the spoon scraping the pot - in the manga artist's post about visiting the shooting venue (as well as during Ep 1 twitter space) it was mentioned that Mashiko, the actor, can actually cook, so during filming they had to tell him what someone who can't would likely do, and also asked him to do the housework poorly (because Yoh's not supposed to be good at cooking or housework hahaha)

この人*、明日も朝早いんだよな。たぶん。 Original: This guy, has an early morning again tomorrow. Probably. Mine: This person*, has (to leave) early tomorrow morning too. Probably. *The word here is "kono hito", literally "this person". There's actually nothing wrong with the translation "this guy" tbh because that's a fairly neutral term in English, but I'm highlighting it here because in his monologues, Yoh usually refers to Segasaki using much rougher language, such as "koitsu, aitsu", except when he addresses Segasaki directly in his head. I'll talk more about how Yoh addresses Segasaki in the analysis post, but for now - this sentence hints that Yoh has clocked Segasaki's tiredness (subconsciously or not) and is feeling a little bad for him. Then again he quickly hides that by adding on "probably". (Adding the word "probably" behind your sentence is a common way to express doubt/negate what you just said, and incidentally is commonly used by comedians to deliver a punchline).

[Y: あの*…あの…寝るなら部屋でとおもって。] Original: Um… Hey… You should go back to your room. Mine: Um*... Um... if you're going to sleep then, (it would be better to sleep) in your room - at least that's what I thought...

*"あの…" (ano…), translated as "um" here, is a common sound you use when you want to get someone's attention but don't want to sound too demanding - it actually isn't being polite per se, but it does show the hesitancy with which Yoh approaches him. Contrast this with the way Segasaki gets Yoh's attention (so far it's just been "Yoh" or "Oi" - the latter of which you would NOT use unless you were close to the person, or looking for a fight).

As a general rule of thumb, the level of politeness in Japanese is directly correlated with the length of the sentence and just how far you can beat around the bush. So, Yoh's suggestion that Segasaki goes to sleep in his room is literally just "if sleeping, then room..." and everything else in that translation is assumed. He may not being using polite speech forms here (that would be "to omoimashita" instead of "to omotte") but this is still a common way to be polite because he's making a suggestion that is so mild Segasaki can choose to ignore it. This is a great example of Brown & Levinson's "negative politeness" which we'll revisit when analysing their speech patterns, and which you can read about in entirely too much detail here (free to read).

[Y: じゅあ、俺は寝るので** あの、その、そういうことで、おやすみ] Original: Then, I’ll go to sleep. That…sort of thing. Good night. Mine: So then, I'm going to bed, therefore**... Um... that... with that... night!

"Therefore" is an awkward translation for the word ので (node), which is more often translated as "so". I've chosen to use that word because "node", whilst again not a polite form per se, is less colloquial than the more commonly used "から(kara)", to mean the same thing. It tends to pop up more in writing than in speech. "Therefore" doesn't make a sentence polite/formal in English, but it's definitely less colloquial than using the word "so". The use of "node" is just that tiny bit out of place in this sentence paired with the informal pronoun "ore" for "I" as opposed to the more formal choice of "boku".

Again, Yoh answers Segasaki properly here with a "はい (hai)" as opposed to his usual "un" (which is a sound that expresses agreement), when told that Segasaki will be late again. There actually aren't very many moments where Yoh does speak politely to Segasaki (he's definitely rude when he talks about Segasaki in his head hahaha), so these moments stand out. This whole short exchange, together with the random -desu he added earlier, just make Yoh's sentences a little more stilted/awkward, and more distant. Individually they don't deserve much mention at all, but together, and in the context of his jealousy, show just how unsure Yoh is about where he stands with Segasaki.

[Y: あの人の帰宅が遅くなり] Y: That person returned home later and later

"That person" - similar to the above usage of "this person". This sentence is incomplete - the verb form of the last word - 遅くなり (osokunari) indicates that there should be a second part to the sentence (the "completed" form would be osokunatta). But after he says this, there is a pregnant pause, as Yoh puts his phone down and continues cooking alone. The pause continues all the way into the next scene, before the sentence continues, highlighting the loneliness that Yoh feels.

[Y: 当然、触れられることもないままに] Original: Of course, he did not touch me at all Mine: (and) of course, (I) remained untouched (by him) as well

The literal translation for this would be "(the situation in which I) was not touched (by him) continued on as well". Yoh uses the passive form of the word "touch", which places the emphasis on Yoh "receiving" the action of being touched as opposed to placing the emphasis on Segasaki "carrying out" the action of touching Yoh. Consider the difference between the sentences "I was hurt by him" and "he hurt me". The former is the passive form, and is super common in Jp, much less common in Eng. If this is confusing - welcome to Jp grammar just know that the emphasis of this line is more on what Yoh does not have, rather than what Segasaki has not done. It accentuates Yoh's feelings of emptiness and loss.

Y: すっかり日々は過ぎて Y: The days pass by completely ...

Similarly, this sentence is "incomplete", and is instead continued by Segasaki walking in and telling Yoh he'll be late again. (This whole bit just hurts my soul tbh, Yoh is so lonely. )

This is a teruteru bouzu aka a charm of sorts for good weather. See the cultural tidbits post for Ep 2 linked up top for more info!

This is said really strongly, and gives the "what the hell are you doing" feel. Yoh's truly upset here.

I try not to care about some of the subs in these side conversations because they don't add much to the main story and these posts are already too long, but this sentence should really be "Dammit, maybe I should (go) troll the chat" (and the previous sentence should be "If this was broadcasted in a certain country it would be instant death" aka N.Korea ^^;) and I just think it was a nice touch to hint at the fandom wars/flaming that goes on between fans hahaha

[Y: しんどい] Y: This is too draining The word here used is "shindoi", which is a term used when you're feeling mentally/physically exhausted/drained, and carries a sense of frustration (at feeling this way) and sometimes (emotional) pain.

This. Is. Huge. Segasaki does 2 things here - one, he rejects an after-work meal, which you rarely do because Japan is all about the group and rejecting a group invite, to welcome a new member, can make you seem like you aren't a team player - two, the guy who invites him is his senior, which you can tell because Segasaki sticks to polite speech forms whilst the other guy does not. It's still relatively casual, so you can tell he's got a good working relationship with them (probably why he's not worried about rejecting them) but still. In Segasaki's world, Yoh is the No. 1 priority.

This is more accurately "WTF". There are many sounds in Japanese that aren't exactly words, but carry a lot of meaning - "Haa?!" is one of them, and is a very rude way to express a lot of anger and shock. Please, never say this in real life. You will royally piss off whoever it's directed at and if you are outside a Shibuya bar you will get punched.

The word used here is てめぇ (temee), which is a really rude way to say "you", and has the same energy as "you bastard". Segasaki usually uses the informal pronoun "omae" for "you" when he talks to Yoh, he's definitely pissed off here.

This is the same word, "shindoi" again.

I'm going to put the rest of the whole argument here with just my translation because it's too long to screencap the whole thing.

[S: 何なんだよ？このエロい惨状は Y: うるさい。 Y: 俺は売れっ子エロ漫画家になるんだ S: なんだそりゃ。おい *takes away beer can* Y: 売れっ子さんが　シコリながらネーム描くと　いいのができるって言ってた S: なんも描けてなかったぞ。 S: おい、だめだっつってんの S: 飲みすぎ　出すもん出して　寝てただけだろう Y: 黙れ！ Y: 俺はエロくて　抜ける漫画描いて　いっぱい稼いで Y: 早く　こんなとこ出ていくんだ S: はあ？　おい、お前　どういうつもりだよ Y: どうもこうもないよ！ Y: 平気で抱かれてると思うなよ。 Y: 俺のこと、好きでもないくせに Y: 便利な奴隷としか思ってないんだろう？そんなにやりたきゃ隣のキャスターとやってろよ S: お前　さっきから　何を... Y: 俺はあんな風に笑いかけられたことない]

Breakdown: S: What's up with this? This lewd disaster of a scene Y: (You're) annoying! ["うるさい (urusai)" is often translated as "shut up", but it literally means someone is being "noisy", and here is more of a complaint that Segasaki is being bothersome] Y: I'm going to become a hot-selling erotica manga artist! [the word used here is 売れっ子 (urekko), which literally means "someone who gets huge sales" and mostly refers to idols, entertainers, TV personalities etc. So Yoh is not just saying he's going to become popular, he's saying he's gonna be like a celebrity manga artist, which is why Segasaki snorts a little at this] S: What's with that? Hey. *takes away beer can* Y: The hot sellers say that if you jerk off whilst drawing your storyboard, you'll come up with good stuff [urekko-san is a pretty cute way of referring to these popular artists] S: You've not drawn anything, you know? [this is said with a really indulgent air, which contrasts directly with the more authoritative tone of the next line] S: Hey, I'm telling you no more *grabs beer can* S: You drank too much. You just shot what you shot and then went to sleep didn't you? [And this is back to an indulgent tone - also, everyone knows Segasaki is talking about cumming here, he just doesn't actually say it so directly] Y: Shut up! ["黙れ (damare) - contrast with "urusai" earlier. The former is used much less commonly and really does mean to "be quiet". This is why Segasaki pauses and looks at Yoh. Up until now Segasaki just thinks Yoh's gotten drunk and is whining cutely, but this word means things are serious.] Y: I'm going to draw manga that is erotic, that you can wank off to, and then earn lots of money [this is a call back to the conversation with Man-san over the phone in Ep 1, which I did not include earlier because I didn't think it was important to the story when Yoh says "the work that was released last month was amazing! There was a big buzz around the topic "I can't wank off (to this)" - Yoh was being sarcastic here, meaning that he got reviews that his work wasn't erotic enough] Y: and leave this sort of place soon! S: What? Hey - what (the hell) are you thinking? [Again, "haa?" here shows he does NOT like what Yoh's saying, but he does soften the end of the sentence with a "yo"] Y: I'm not thinking of anything! Y: Embracing me so easily - don't think you can (keep on) doing that [again, this is the passive form, so the emphasis is on Yoh being embraced, and here has the nuance of "don't think I'll just (keep on) being fine with being embraced (by you) like it's some sort of norm"] Y: when you don't even like me [this line has quite a bit of bitterness in it - the emphasis here is strongly on Segasaki and his apparent "non-liking" of Yoh my english is dying.] Y: You think of me as just a convenient slave, don't you? Y: If you want to do it that much, go do it with that forecaster next to you! S: You... from the start... what have (you been saying?) Y: I have never been smiled at like that before [again, this is in passive voice]

It's obvious from the acting alone that this entire argument is pretty emotionally charged - this is also reflected in the language because Yoh uses the pronoun "ore (I)" a lot. Pronouns are frequently dropped in Japanese - often you can go an entire conversation without ever uttering the words "I/me" or "you", in part because the pronouns are assumed and also because emphasis on an individual can come across as too selfish/narcissistic or direct. Segasaki uses them often enough with Yoh, which fits his personality, but Yoh normally doesn't. So, when he uses "ore" here it stands out - his plans to be successful and leave, his feelings, his interpretation of Segasaki's actions - all of the emphasis is on his own self. The message is very clear - Yoh is hurting a lot more than he is blaming or accusing Segasaki.

[Y: もう疲れた。あんたといると疲れる。嫌いだ S: お前　酒入るとめちゃくちゃしゃべるんだな Y: ねぇ、何で雨の時はだめなの？ S: はあ？　だって、お前が言ったんだろう] Y: (I'm) tired out. When (I'm) with you, (I) get tired. Hate it. [We've lost the "I" pronouns here, because the emphasis is on the extreme sense of physical and emotional fatigue as opposed to Yoh himself, and on how much he dislikes that feeling. Of note, "hate" here is closer to "detest/really dislike" - the word is "kirai" - which is not as strong as the word "nikui" which we talked about in Ep 1 when Yoh said he hated the part of him that always listened to Segasaki. Also, this is the first time Yoh has addressed Segasaki with the pronoun "you" out loud - he uses "あんた anta", which he also used in his head in Ep 1, after they did it. Again, we'll talk about this in the analysis post in the future, but for now just know that this term is usually used between older couples.] S: You... once you start drinking you really start talking huh? [literally, you "become able to talk"] Y: Hey...why is it when it rains, (we) can't do it? S: What? Because, you said so didn't you? [the last "haa?" from Segasaki! This time expressing his surprise and slight indignation.]

[S: 俺は優しいんだ] S: I. am. Kind. Great example of Segasaki's use of the "ore" pronoun here to quite literally emphasise how great he is. "優しい (kind)" in Japanese carries the connotation of being thoughtful, anticipating the other person's needs and wants and then meeting them etc. It's a characteristic that people often say they look for in their potential partners.

[S: そもそも、なんだ先の言いぐさは好きじゃないだの　出ていきたいだのお前　俺のプロポーズを受けといてよくそんなことが言えんな S: 養ってやる*っつってんだ　プロポーズ以外になに] S: In the first place, what was with those things you said earlier? That you don't like me, that you want to leave... You... that was rich, saying all that after accepting my proposal. S: I was saying I'd provide and care* for you. If that's not a proposal than what is? ["養ってやる" is a pretty possessive way to say I'll provide for you - it's the same word used when referring to parent providing for a child, or an owner providing for a small animal. It's not rude per se, but it does imply a power imbalance. Segasaki actually sort of has a point here because... this is not something you say to someone else unless you're in a relationship ^^;]

S: ていうかお前、俺のこと嫌いなんだ S: どうなの S: Actually about that... so you hate me huh? S: Which is it?

S: ふーん。あ、そ S: Ohh..? I see. ふーん (Ohh..?) - Segasaki says this a lot, especially in this episode. This is another one of those sounds that isn't a word but carries a lot of meaning. It has a dismissive sort of tone to it, like you've already assumed something or when you're pretty nonchalant/not impressed about whatever the other person has said and are just playing along with them by giving them some attention (so again, if you use it wrongly, it can piss people off). Segasaki uses it whenever Yoh goes mute or shy, as a way to tease Yoh - though Yoh seems to think Segasaki is dismissing/not interested in his answer. あ、そ (A, so) - again, Segasaki says this a lot - can be interpreted as "oh really?/I see/is that so?" - Combined with the above, you can see why Yoh often thinks Segasaki isn't interested in his answer, and even when he does recognise it as teasing, he gets too flustered to do anything about it.

This seems to have gotten longer, if you reached the end - congratulations! I hope this makes it a little clearer why it's so obvious to us as the viewer that Segasaki is really quite patient with Yoh, and is waiting for him to come to terms with his feelings, but at the same time so confusing for Yoh, because of the way many of these interactions can be read both ways. In Ep 3, we'll really be able to get into their dynamics because they've got so much more interaction together.

#my personal weatherman #taikan yohou #体感予報 #MPW subtitle corrections #mytranslations #finally got it out #doing a breakdown of the argument was very fun #this is like the most indulgent t/n ever #i am indulging myself the same way segasaki indulges yoh #thanks to everyone for reading my indulgent notes #please geek out with me more #these two are so perfect for each other #sorry I wanted to get Ep 3 and the analysis out before Ep 4 but it's not happening

193 notes · View notes

bugsbenefit · 11 months

Text

seeing a "Mike is completely oblivious to his feelings and doesn't know he's in love with Will" take float on my dash from the wild and... i'm sorry i hate this interpretations so much. everyone can see things differently, but Mike having no clue of his own feelings makes absolutely no sense with what we see on screen to me. none

if this is ranty ignore little old me, i just need to complain today lmao

not only does Mike pause to look at Will's lips multiple times, which you could maybe argue he just doesn't realize anymore (doubtful since it's not something he's always done, it only started in s3 which is less than a full year away from s4 canonically)

there's also the whole fact that nothing else of his s4 conflict would make sense anymore. if Mike didn't know he didn't love El, what was he worried about telling her then, that she wouldn't like the truth of? it can't be that he loves her because he knows she would like that. Mike has to consciously be aware of something he knows he should tell El, but can't, because he's scared of how she'll take it

the same also goes for the sbp scene where Mike looks back at Will, shocked or conflicted, because Will is pushing him to confess to El. the initial shock would be inappropriate if Mike was already planning to tell El he loved her anyways and had no idea he actually loved Will

it also means that Mike didn't intentionally lie during the monologue with is almost more egregious because we saw Mike talk to the other's about sending El to Pennhurst with 0 concerns. he didn't know El overheard that so it might be something he thinks El could believe. but he himself would remember that he didn't "fall in love with her that moment", saying otherwise just makes Mike look like the dumbest, most unaware character in the whole show by far. not even just the show, it would probably make him one of the most oblivious characters out of Any show i can think of right now actually

it would also make no sense why we're completely barred from Mike's inner feelings during the monologue. if Mike genuinely believed what he was saying we'd be allowed to know his thoughts, since they wouldn't spoil anything yet. but alas, not only does Finn keep his lips sealed, even the rough drafts from three years ago skip over his internal feelings or thoughts completely which is extremely unusual for an emotional monologue of this importance and magnitude

everything else aside, the idea that Mike would just. not realize. he's queer and in love with his best friend is kind of bizarre to me. it really plays into the fanon version of Mike who is inhumanly oblivious and stupid. because canon Mike is actually not that bad with feelings, he can articulate himself if he wants to and he can pick up on and explain complex emotions he himself feels all the way back in s1. saying that Mike is genuinely too oblivious to realize his feelings isn't at all in line with his canon characterization

and besides it not making sense for his character. it's also a nonsensical choice from a writers perspective. if Mike would genuinely be unaware of his feelings for Will and his queerness; Byler would be rushed. i'm excited for Byler as much as the next person but this would be a horrible way to go about it. because s5 would then need to include:

Mike realizing he's not in love with El

Mike realizing he's queer

Mike dealing with the consequences of being queer in the 80s/coming to terms with said queerness to the point he feels comfortable acting on it

Mike realizing he's in love with Will

Mike and El finally breaking up

Mike and Will confessing to each other and getting together

that is an absurd amount of things to cram into a single seasons and essentially a character 180 in 8ish episodes. and all these points also need space and time to breathe to sit well with the audience. having Mike realize he's not in love with El and realize he's in love with Will would need a significant pause in between to feel good for the audience, but there's only so much time left. that will feel rushed no matter how well you write it. if they just revealed Mike being queer and in love with Will to the audience while having him already be aware of it we'd skip steps 1-4 on this list. the audience getting new information and recontextualizing things that already happened takes significantly less time than having a character go through the realizations first hand since that takes more development time

at this point, there's no way to write Mike realizing he's queer from scratch well with only one season left. there just isn't. especially with the amount of plot we need to cover in s5, the action, and all the other characters that need solid endings. opening a whole new can of worms for Mike is counterproductive. last seasons close character arcs, they don't kick new one's up that would take forever to properly flesh out

the thing that just really bothers me about this whole, "Mike doesn't know yet, he's oblivious" narrative, besides making little sense from a writer's pov and directly contradicting his canon character. is also that most takes just read extremely belittling. because a lot of people who say this seem to be aware that there won't be time to properly explore Mike's character or feelings like this. and they're fine with it because Mike will just be "Will's boyfriend", and only Will needs to come to terms with his queerness, Mike doesn't need an arc. and it's weird. the idea that Mike will have his whole queer realization in s5 hinges on the fact that Mike's character isn't important enough to get a fully fleshed out arc/time to naturally move from point A to point B, and that he'll just go from one relationship to the next with no problems

#byler #mike wheeler #i'm sorry live and let live everyone can do what they want with the show #but from a canon perspective the idea that Mike just /doesn't know/ is so insane to me #i genuinely hate it so much and i keep seeing it around lmao

297 notes · View notes

thestrangestthing89 · 1 year

Text

Mike understanding Will vs. Mike being oblivious

Evidence that Mike knows what Will is talking about in the van:

Will: "I didn't say it", Mike: "You didn't have to" - You're telling me that after they say this, Will is now going to have to spell out his feelings for Mike to understand? They wrote this line for a reason.

Mike has always been very emotionally aware of Will. We see that this season at the skating rink when it seems like Mike is ignoring him. He lists all these things Will's done (rolling his eyes, etc.). He pays attention to Will. We've seen this in past seasons, too. The only time he was shown to not be aware of Will's feelings was briefly in season 3 was when him and Lucas were making fun of him over D&D. The second Mike realizes he actually hurt him, he runs after him to apologize and he never does this again. Mike was so busy pretending to be all grown up and like Lucas he missed what was happening with Will. But he figures it out quickly and fixes it.

Will: "You make her feel like she's not a mistake". Will says this line when he's giving Mike the painting and pretending his feelings are El's. Mike knows this isn't true. Him and El had a fight in Lenora and El said "You looked at me like I'm a monster". This fight happened a few days before Will says this. Mike didn't forget. He knows what they fought about. He knows he makes El feel like a monster because she told him.

Mike: "I care for you so much". This line is so platonic and self-aware. She wants him to tell her he loves her and deliberately avoids saying it. He knows what she wants him to say. He blurted out he loves her at the end of season 3, makes a confused face after he says it, tries to awkwardly talk to her and explain that he loves her while avoiding saying the word and confuses her in the process. Then when she brings it up later, he pretends like he doesn't remember and says "that was just heat of the moment stuff". She says it back to him and he's confused and doesn't respond. Then he spends the next several months avoiding saying it the letters he writes her. This is again, very self-aware. It would be very easy to write this. Especially if he already said it out loud. He recognized at the end of 3 that he didn't mean it and didn't say it again.

He throws away 2 of her letters that we see. It's implied he isn't keeping them.

He flirts with Will twice in Lenora. Not to mention how flirty they were at the end of season 3 when they are packing up they Byer's things.

Mike's emotional intelligence has been on display several times throughout the series. Not only does he take care of Will but they have many heart-to-heart conversations where he is empathetic and understanding. He listens to Will. But we also see him do this a little with El in season 1. When they first find her he acknowledges that she's scared and gives her a place to stay and food. He didn't have to do this. It shows emotional maturity. He is aware of other peoples feelings. He doesn't register that Lucas is jealous of the time he's spending with her because he is honestly not spending a lot of time with her. I just rewatched season 1. Their time together is limited. So when Dustin calls him oblivious for not realizing why Lucas was jealous, it really just doesn't add up logically with what was actually happening. Which is why Mike doesn't register this. It's not obliviousness. Dustin and Lucas are misinterpreting the situation.

He looks like he's in physical pain giving his I love you monologue to El. He is more than capable of listing things he likes about a person. There is a reason Will calls him the heart. He connects emotionally to people (Will specifically) but he can't do that with El. He knows he is lying. All of his behavior up until this point suggests he knows this.

Him and El aren't speaking at the end and are rolling their eyes at each other. He isn't even attempting to talk to her. If he believed anything he said he wouldn't be acting like this. He would be trying to talk to her or comfort her when she's clearly upset. When they get to the cabin he just completely ignores her and walks ahead and leaves her behind at the car without a second glance back. This isn't obliviousness and a lack of emotional awareness. We see him 2 minutes later talking to Will and telling him she's upset she lost and then comforting Will about Henry. He knows and understands what people are feeling and what the correct responses are to emotional situations. He doesn't comfort El because he doesn't want to and he knows she doesn't want him to. He is aware of this. She's rolling her eyes at him, too. The only time they aren't stand offish with each other is at the hospital. She leans her head on his shoulder in a very Harry and Hermione like way. He lets her. It's what she needs in the moment. He's not confused by this or shoving her off. (Edit: I want to add here that Will is crying after he gives Mike the painting and Mike sees him. Why would Will be crying if he's talking about El's feelings? If Mike believes what Will is saying is actually El than he would have asked about what upset him because it doesn't add up. Will wouldn't be crying over another couples feelings. It only makes sense if he's crying about his own. Mike doesn't ask him what's wrong because he knows. He knows Will just confessed and it was hard for him so he doesn't have to ask. He also can't say what he wants to say with other people in the car so he gives Will space. Also just look at Mike's face in this scene. It says everything you need to know. Especially when you compare it to his face during his monologue to El. He's so happy when Will is talking to him and he never looks at El like that.)

Evidence that Mike is oblivious:

Mike is never actually SHOWN to be oblivious, we just have characters saying that he is. Dustin and Lucas say it in reference to the way that he acts TOWARD EL. Not towards Will. He doesn't respond to El the way that someone who has a crush on her does which is why they say he is oblivious. He doesn't act like a boyfriends is supposed to so they help him. They are realizing he isn't acting that way for a reason. Mike has never be called oblivious in reference to Will.

Finn says Mike is oblivious and clueless. Of course he does. He can't say that he knows what Will is talking about. It's a spoiler. I don't know why people take these interviews so seriously. The actors can't say anything. They frequently say things that aren't true because they were instructed to. Interviews are to promote the show. And the audience is in the dark about Mike's feelings so he can't say more than this. The oblivious excuse is so easy. It allows people to dismiss a lot of other things that are going on. It's superficial. But the show is never what it seems on the surface. They like to show and not tell. So if they are TELLING us that Mike is oblivious, then we need to pay attention to what they are SHOWING us. They have never shown us that he has no idea what's going on. They have shown us the opposite. It's a misdirect. They want people believing he's oblivious so that when they show us the truth it's completely unexpected. Most of the audience has the wrong perception of him. And honestly, a lot of the insistence that Mike is oblivious is coming from people who desperately want him to have romantic feelings for El at some point even if they think Byler is endgame. I don't understand this need for these two to be romantically involved. There is the bare minimum being done with the way they interact. They are being intentionally written to not understand each other or be good for each other and it's been consistent since the beginning. Just because one is a boy and one is a girl and they are cute kids doesn't mean they need to be crushing on each other. It isn't being SHOWN.

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #gay mike wheeler #mike x will

402 notes · View notes

pinksmonkey · 3 months

Text

Bylers Are Quite Literate

A Reddit post I made discussing Bylers and media literacy.

Unfortunately my post was removed for being reported too much, even though it wasn't against the rules in any way. I messaged the mods, but I don't know if it'll be put back up, so here's what it said:

I just want to make clear that I mean no hate to Milevens or people who don't ship Byler, I completely respect that people can ship whatever they want and I hope I would receive that same respect in return. There are lots of very smart people who don't ship Byler, and there are lots of smart Milevens. I just want to bring attention to the fact that believing in Byler is not delusional, ridiculous, stupid, or the many other things we're called. Many Bylers are very literate, probably not all of them, but lots.

A lot of Bylers actually have great media literacy, many are film students, writers themselves, or do media analyses often.

This post will specifically be about Mike's monologue to El in S4.

One of my all time favourite analyses (and the best) of the monologue is "'Prove it' I Beg You Read This." by oceanfruit444 on Tumblr.

Unfortunately the post is no longer available because the account which made it was deactivated, but I took screenshots before and will copy and paste the text here:

So, the Duffer Brothers write very complex and, usually, well done characters. They give us a trait or statement and then they prove it. As a writer, you can never just have a character say "I'm lying right now' to the screen, that would be...ridiculous Imao.

"I wrote a post not to long ago about my writing process, or the writing process in general. One of the things I spoke on was the concept of 'proving it'. I want to talk a little more about that and how that applies to one Michael Wheeler.

Of course, we see the scene in season 4 where Will Is giving Mike his painting and using it to help mend Mike and El's relationship. We see it continuously, even though we know he's in love with Mike, Will coaches him through his problems, gives him advice, etc. We see it in season 2 as well just with Joyce mentioning Will giving away his toy to another little girl who looked sad. That was kind of the time they stated this trait Will had, and then continued to prove it for the next two seasons. So when we say Will is selfless, we have evidence to back up that claim.

With proving it, that is your job as a writer. It works with situations, but mostly comes into play with characters. For example: you give your audience a trait, Will is selfless. How does he prove that and how do other characters give us clues of this trait?

Now discussing scenes with 'proving it', season 4 is very interesting because it's not as subtle as we may think it is. In the van, we see Mike recalling the first time he saw El and explaining that moment.

"It was dumb luck, not fate."

Then we go to his confession, "I knew since the moment I saw you that I loved you."

That moment felt cringy, but also, there has been no proof for this. There's actually proof combating his claim. That whole monologue was Mike looking into the camera and saying "I'm lying right now." The writers of this show are aware of that, because they continuously make sure to prove things, because that's how you create deep moments and detailed characters. If you have a character just spew things out without depth behind their words, it's not going to create a furthering and complex relationship. I mean, it's not even in writing, if your partner said, "I love you" and then proceeded to, metaphorically, spit in your face, you wouldn't believe that because you know it's not true.

Throughout season 4, Mike can't say I love you to El, he gaslights her, he calls her superman and that meeting her was an accident. He doesn't prove anything that is said in the monologue, and the writers know that, they want people to pick up on it.

'I'm not scared of you'

Mike proves the opposite of that in rink-o-mania. He was scared of her, and El proves that to us by saying you think I'm a monster too.

'My life started the day I met you.'

That just doesn't make sense because he literally tries to jump off a cliff. Apparently his life didn't need to last more than a day.

The love confession, from a writer's stance, cannot be evidence for a solidified relationship. Mike and El had not been together since their big fight. So, as we know. the feelings Mike was responding to weren't El's, they were Will's.

So then you get into another conversation of, was the love confession for El in the first place? Because in both Will's and Mike's confessions, El is the center of it, the middle piece. The writers could be trying to tell us many different things with that. They both give confessions, so are they attempting to allude to the fact that Mike and Will are both doing the same thing?

People are desperate for answers, it's a worldwide trait, so we ask many questions and we are supposed to when it comes to consuming media or any kind of storytelling. Why does he love her? Wait that doesn't make sense, why didn't he just say it in the first place? Why didn't he say it when El was begging him to? Why does he feel like it's a fight they can't come back from if all he has to say is 'I love you'? If he loved her, it should have been easy right? Why did I just waste hours of my life for a plot point that doesn't make sense? Mike said he loved El already, we've already been through this same exact plot, so why is it happening again?

So, what I'm saying is Mike is disproving his points by previous actions. The monologue feels off because as watchers we are subconsciously or, some of us, consciously aware that we were not given evidence for what the character is saying. And we don't like that.

And then, when we get verbal answers, they don't line up or make any sense.

Why? Why? Why?

So, what bylers have right is that Mike is a fake thing (character), he doesn't just get to vibe in his own head and hang out. He has to prove things to us, if he wants to say I love you? Prove it with details we can back up. You want to tell us you love El on her bad days? You're lying to us now because we saw that point disproven.

These characters have very specific jobs and arcs, they're doing things for a bigger reason, not just...cause. I don't think that's easy for many people to grasp onto. So questions writers ask themselves when there's a scene is, what does this scene mean to each character involved, and how can we make that sub textually known?" "Who is this scene for? and how will it farther their arcs'

So, what does the love monologue mean for El? And how will it farther her arc or finish part of her arc? As we know, she wanted Mike to say I love you, Mike needed to say it for that plot point to finally close. But what is the after math.

Now, what *can* Mike's monologue hold truth to? A lot of what he's saying can be backed up if he's speaking to a different person.

Will.

I loved you since the moment I saw you. We can back that up from evidence, Mike made the choice to walk up to Will on the swing sets and ask to be his friend. Little Mike knew that he wanted Will in his life and that he was something special. So we have a check mark there. It was a choice, loving someone will always, somewhat, be a choice.

I'm not scared of you, I never have been. We can back that up as well. Will was possessed by the Mind Flayer and Mike stayed right by Will's side, walking into that shed with a boy that had sent many people to their death. He stayed next to Will's side, alone, when he knew he could be dangerous or even had no idea what he was capable of.

I love you on your good and bad days. Once again, we see that proven. In season 3 Will yells at Mike, is upset and they fight. What Mike does is very important, he goes after Will because no matter what Will said that might have hurt or how distressed Will seemed to be, he still went after him, because he cared about him. In season 2 when they leave Halloween we see it again, Will was having a bad day and Mike sat right there with him, making him feel better.

I love you. I mean, Mike has proven that over and over again. Now, that could be used for both of them, but the interesting point in season 4 is the big discussion on his issue with saying 'I love you' to El. So, something isn't lining up. Again, from a writers POV, Mike doesn't get to say that to El because you are not allowed to expect your watchers to come up with proven points to that on their own. We have to look at the context of that line and find it IN THE SAME SEASON AND PLOT LINE.

I love you. How does Mike prove that to us in season 4? And if you do not have textual evidence as well as actions to back it up, then you're not supposed to have those things. Your job as a reader or watcher is not to do the work for yourself, the writers will tell you all you need to know, if you can't find it, then they're telling you everything you need to know.

Who does that apply to? Will.

I thought that saying it might make it hurt more. This is disproven by Mike's actions with El, he begins to lose her because he isn't saying I love you. So why would him telling her 'I love you' make her leaving hurt more if she didn't plan on leaving until you didn't day it? Lie lie lie. That is thrown in our faces time and time again. He wasn't losing El until he was unable to tell her or write he loves her.

I don't know, I feel like I lost you or something. Mike says the word 'lost twice in season 4 to two different people, or was it two different people?

Mike isn't afraid of losing El, he's afraid of losing Will, and we have evidence of that because he said those exact words. As I said moments ago, the writers will directly tell you things to allow you to prove spoken points made. If you CANNOT back up a claim, they don't want you to.

If something is mentioned or talked about, it's not on accident or to fill up time, it's because it's important. Mike telling Will he felt like he lost him and giving us evidence as to why he may feel that way and then turning around to say it to El doesn't make sense. It's not supposed to make sense because the writers are trying to get us to use our little brains to piece things together.

For a moment I'll talk about the fanfic I'm working on. We see Jane and Mike kiss for a dare in chapter sixteen (I think) and I discuss the placement of his hands, how they both, and what they do. Then in chapter eighteen I discuss Mike's hands again and their placement with detail when he's holding onto Will. Why do I do that? Because I am trying to tell readers there is a contrast to those actions Mike is making. I'm telling people the person he wants and is picking without giving his POV through tiny actions. So what I'm saying is that I can promise the writers of this show are doing just as tiny things.

So my point here is, characters don't get to just say things, they have to be proven and have logical standing or they should be taken as lies. Writing is a system and characters words and lines are thought out. Nothing humans or characters say is meant to be surface level. Not really.

The way dialogue works, is there has to be underlining meaning or message to each thing a character says. So, if you give two different characters the same exact line, they're going to be performed differently because the intention behind the words will be different. Does that make sense?

I love you. Okay prove it to me or you're lying.

I'm not scared of you. Okay prove it to me or you're lying.

As I said before, a writer's job is to give an audience something and then make the character prove it. If they don't do that, then watchers are able, or should be able, to piece together that something is wrong or a character is not being truthful.

Once again, no character will EVER look at the camera and say 'I'm about to lie' we have to piece that together. You know why? Because these stories are perfectly crafted and very much fake. We're not watching reality TV, we're watching a multi million dollar show.

So, I urge everyone to watch this show and think about this 'prove it' mentality and how well the duffers usually do it. If writers want us to believe their characters, then they must prove the points we are seeing or hearing. We never have to give them the benefit of the doubt because they don't want us to.

Mike, Will, El, every character is a puppet on a string being danced around the stage by the writers."

queerest-friend added, "This also relates to the fact that we got virtually no flashbacks during Mike's confession except for one image of El in the Benny's Burgers shirt. Even the camera couldn't help "prove" anything Mike was saying."

This is just one example of the many in-depth analyses Bylers have made about the show. We take into consideration every detail, the set design, costumes, lighting, blocking, dialogue, facial expressions, body language, and more which the creators of the show have pointed out are important and have meaning. Mike is an undeniably queercoded character, because of all of his actions in the show and the clues surrounding him. He's more queercoded than Will was in a lot of ways, and he's more queercoded than Robin. If we were right about all the evidence for Will being gay, and the same types of evidence are being used for Mike, why would one be true and not the other?

That's all, let me know your thoughts in the comments. :)

56 notes · View notes

chirpsythismorning · 2 years

Text

It would appear I am indeed one of the very few optimistic (delusional?) Bylers left.

Not saying that if you feel hopeless and need to move on, that you can't. A lot of you have been through this before with other shows. Again and again. You’re tired and fed-up and you have every right to be.

Technically, Season 5 won't be out for another 2+ years anyways, which means the best thing for everyone regardless is to get whatever we need off our chests now and then to just go on a hiatus for the foreseeable future.

When it comes to how I feel about Vol. 2, there were definitely at least a few good moments. If this season has anything going for it, it’s the emotional value. This is without a doubt the most I’ve cried ever while watching the show. One scene in particular that had me on the floor was the scene with Will and El reuniting and hugging. And of course the scene with Will and Mike in the van (DAMN YOU NOAH SCHNAPP FOR MAKING ME SOB SO HARD ALL DAY THAT I GOT A MIGRAINE!)

But yes, I am a Byler. So you could say I was a bit disappointed in that department.

And yet still, I think my take on the later part of season 4 is much different from the majority.

Because personally, I don’t think that what played out in Vol. 2 means that Byler is dead. If anything, I believe it to be more endgame than I did before (well, at least in comparison to pre-s4. There’s no denying pre-Vol. 2 confidence levels remain unmatched. Truly the best era for the Byler fandom to date).

I think my main issue is, like so many of us on here, I thought it was guaranteed we would get to see Mike become aware of Will’s feelings.

Alas, we did not.

And to be totally clear, without this revelation, Byler can’t go anywhere.

Neither forwards, nor technically backwards.

This means the baiting game is not over. Which as bad as it sounds, is why I’m still so optimistic…

Now, if they had made Will’s feelings obvious to Mike, or even the fact that Will is gay as being obvious to Mike, but STILL had Mike behave the way he did in Vol. 2, now THAT would have sucked. It would have been canon rejection on Mike’s end.

But we didn’t even get rejection from Mike.

Instead, we got Will coming off as a hardcore M*leven shipper in Mike's eyes, all while the audience was getting the exact opposite interpretation of this situation; that Will is helplessly in love with Mike.

Will is able to voice the extent of his love, albeit through advice to Mike about his own situation with El, in a way that no one else on the show has been able to. Most of the other characters need a bunch of bystanders to make them realize their feelings and push them in that direction. But Will, he doesn’t need someone holding his hand along the way, telling him what the right thing to do or say is. His love isn’t something he needs to really think about in order to understand it. It just is.

(Which is SO fucking ironic when you think about how Mike always needs help with figuring out his feelings for El and even sounds like he’s reading off a script when he’s trying to explain himself to her. Whereas with Will, s2 monologue teas, it’s the most natural thing Mike’s ever done. Unscripted, straight from the heart… And both Vol. 1-2 continued to drive home this concept, so maybe jot that down..)

It’s just that, unfortunately, in Will’s eyes, Mike will never return this love, which means his only option is to let Mike go. If supporting Mike and El’s relationship means putting himself dead last in every respect, so that his best friend and his sister can be happy, Will is going to do just that.

But as far as Mike knows, Will holds no romantic feelings for him. I mean after all, Will is guiding Mike literally every step of the way to confessing his love to El, and that doesn't sound like the behavior of someone who’s in love with you, now does it?

So why would Mike, throw everything on the line, including the survival of their family and friends in Hawkins by not simply just telling his gf he loves her? All while El is right there loving him and needing his love to fight (presumably), with Will beside him literally rooting for him to do just that? This is very obviously the only option in Mike’s eyes.

Which is ironic, because in a way, I think that Mike has truly never seen him and Will as an option, just like Will, but for an entirely different reason.

Mike views his feelings for Will as childish, something he will grow out of, or at least should have by now.

“We’re not kids anymore. What did you think, really? That we were never going to get girlfriends? That we were just going to sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?”

If Mike can’t love El, then how can he possibly love any women? She’s special. She’s a superhero. He HAS to love her, right? It’s the best option he could ever possibly have. Well, at least considering…

But what happens when suddenly, he comes to the realization that him and Will ARE an option? And that the only thing ever stopping them was himself and his inability to just be honest with everyone and himself?

I think the truth is, there’s a reason that they’re holding off on this revelation for Mike.

It will be a catalyst. It will change everything.

Now, how exactly do you think Mike is going to react to this? The fact that Will was in love with him this whole time and he had no idea?

Honestly, I think he’s going to react horribly, but not for the reason everyone assumes.

Because I would argue that, if Mike was going to react badly with disgust or even just let Will down nicely to confirm it’s indeed unrequited, then the Duffer’s would have just given this revelation up by now. But they haven’t.

Once Mike finds out that Will is (probably always will be) in love with him, and that instead of telling him, Will used his love to help Mike get closer to El, even when Mike himself was having doubts over and over? That Will went as far as to lie about the painting he worked so hard on for Mike in order to rekindle their dying friendship, to instead insinuate it was commission from El, to give Mike that final push he needed to even have the courage to tell El he loved her? That all the moments like this that they shared as of late, was really just Will talking about himself? That the only reason he was able to tell El he loved her in the first place, was because he was so moved by Will’s love for him??

This is going to break Mike.

And let’s be real here, two episodes would not have done this revelation justice.

So now, just knowing the direction they went for Vol. 2, as well as coming to terms with it, I have reached the conclusion that, despite how bleak things seem now, ‘maybe all of this is happening for a reason’ (s2 Mike Wheeler, we miss u).

Which brings me to the other most important piece of the puzzle, which is that, arguably, El needs to be the one who ends things once and for all.

The general audience has been given the impression El is head over heels in love with Mike, and so of course they were rooting for Mike to get on with it and just tell her he loved her.

But that’s the interesting part. He finally did tell her, but her reaction in the aftermath was not something a lot of fans expected.

It seems that she’s distancing herself from Mike, a fact that Will acknowledges to Mike later at Hopper’s cabin, with Mike genuinely confused because he thought he did the one thing he had to do.

He told her he loved her. Which makes everything alright now, right?

But maybe it doesn’t.

Maybe the reminder we got, of that speech from Max to El, about how she didn’t need Mike or Hopper or ANY man to know her worth, was foreshadowing for what honestly needs to happen in order for El to really process and realize her own true feelings about Mike.

Because, although I do believe El genuinely thought she loved Mike, is it possible that Mike was not only having doubts about saying it because of the reasons he argued, or even because of some repressed feelings for Will, but also because El hadn’t given him what he needed to truly believe she loved him.

Mike, like a lot of people, doesn’t need to hear “I love you” to believe that someone loves him.

“I didn’t say it.”

“You didn’t have to.”

He wants something more meaningful, or more specifically, something along the lines of the speech Will gave to him in the van.

Will’s confession disguised as El’s, was what Mike needed to finally say I love you to El...

Something I think we also got caught up in, is this idea that the Duffer’s were just going to drop M*leven and throw in Byler, with everything else going on, while they still have a whole ass season to promote for another 3+ years, and to their mostly 80’s loving homophobic audience. If Byler is going to happen, it’s going to be the definition of slow-burn and endgame. That’s literally the only way.

This puzzle is complex, which sucks if you want all the answers now, because we’re just not going to get them. If they give up all their moves, then what is the point of telling the story at all?

Other pieces of the puzzle include things that arguably still need to happen before Byler can, even regardless of the constraints they have as show-runners who run the biggest show on Netflix’s dying platform.

Things like Will and El’s love for each other as brother and sister. Considering all the fans that said Will hates El because he didn’t stand up to her bullies or that he’s a home-wrecker who just wants to get with her boyfriend, is why I do think they needed to debunk these insinuations within the narrative. And boy oh boy did they deliver on that front. Will is the most selfless son of a bitch on the planet, who loves his best friend and his sister so much. They made that very clear. And you can see that despite a few homophobes here and there, the general audience's reaction to Will in Vol 2 is sympathy and to Mike it's confusion and betrayal...

Hmm, making El realize she doesn't even love Mike, after making Will's unrequited feelings for Mike more clear, after making Mike behave like an IDIOT this entire time juggling these two relationships, only for him to become aware of whats going on, and to clearly be in love with Will?

Sounds like a good way to set up Byler to an audience that might not have humored it before...

And like I said, with how important I do think it was for this to happen in order for them to go the Byler route, is why I don’t necessarily see this approach as a bad thing. We even got the Will and El hug in 4x08, which maybe it’s just because Noah and Millie are so close, but I would easily rank that on my top most well-earned moments in the whole show.

We NEEDED that. Especially in terms of what is likely to come in season 5 with Byler endgame...

Also, yes the Will angst sucked and it's just trauma porn at this point. I’m not going to deny that fully. I agree with pretty much all of the criticism in regards to how they chose to do certain things when they didn't necessarily have to, but I also simultaneously am able to understand that it again, maybe this is all happening for a reason. If they are indeed going to have Will play a big role in the final season, than them forgetting his birthday, Mike being oblivious and all this other shit he's been through combined, sets up a really arc for him next season, not even necessarily a villain one, but all of this pain has the potential to lead to a happy ending. And I'm being full serious.

Like we have Finn Wolfhard saying the ending of Stranger Things will be like the ending of Schitt’s Creek??? That it will end at it's highest point. The last episode of Schitt’s Creek is literally a happily ever after gay wedding, there's no other way to interpret that…

We also know that a lot of ideas for the last seasons were planned from the beginning, with David Harbour saying that he knew the ending way back in s2 and that it's beautiful and has been the intended plan all along. That there's easter eggs that will have us going 'WOW this is what we've been watching the whole time'? That it's wonderful?

If you’re the level of Byler truther that believes they were somewhat planned all along from the beginning, then you would also know that if they plan a happy ending for Mike and Will, then they would have no problem killing us this painfully in the beginning of the end, because they know we’ll be the ones cheering on by the actual end, and it'll be the homophobes who are pissed and stuck with this result forever as endgame.

I’m just saying, don’t be surprised when s5 gets closer and we actually see them promoting Byler… like a lot. And we actually start getting in canon hints at scenes with El herself even trying to get them together.

Groveling Mike Wheeler era?

Will finding a potential new love interest and Mike pining/jealous?

Come ONNN! You guys are way more delusional than you’re giving yourselves credit for and I urge you to join me!!!

955 notes · View notes

doxypsychlean · 1 year

Text

Comforting them: Aegon II Targaryen, Aemond One-Eye Targaryen

|Headcanons|

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

A/N: So ep.10 got leaked...Poor Vhagar, old girl probs just acted out of habit. Can't blame her tho. If some kid spat in my face out of nowhere, I'd probs do the same.

He just can't catch a break. Especially with Aemond around.

Kid throws him under the bus 24/7

"Aegon told me", "Aegon did it", "It was Aegon's idea", etc.

Their lord father ignores them for the most of it and lets the two do what they want.

He wishes he could say the same about their mother.

Not spending enough time with his siblings? Smack. Teaching young Aemond dirty jokes he'd heard from strangers on the Street of Silk? Smack.

She definitely beat his ass once she found out he'd taken Aemond to a brothel. It was bad. Aegon walked around the castle with an imprint of the Queen's hand on his face for a week straight.

"You should be watching over them! They're just children!"

His mother often forgot he was a child himself.

He'd start to shut off to the world.

Then your paths will cross.

He's so deprived of affection, Aegon can't help himself but to stick to you like glue the moment you show concern for his well-being.

From that moment on, he runs to you whenever something bad happens.

His father yells at him? Off he goes, searching for you.

His mother slaps him around? He shows up at your door late at night and without saying a word, throws himself into your hands.

You're the only person he truly loves and cares for.

Years pass. You two- no longer children.

When the Queen breaks the news to him that he'll have to marry his sister, he simply shrugs his shoulders.

"No."

"I don't believe I asked for your opinion on the matter, Aegon."

"And yet here I am, telling you it won't happen. I'm not marrying Helaena."

"Then who? Who will take you?"

"I've got someone in mind."

Smack. Smack. Smack.

He comes back to you later that evening, lower lip split and bloody, a bruise on his cheek.

He's smiling from ear to ear.

"We're getting married, you and I."

"Come again?"

The Queen had relented after a long monologue on his side.

Long story short, he'd explained to her how you'd been there for him through all these years. How you were the only person that had ever showed love and affection for him. How he'd rather jump from the highest tower of the Red Keep, than have to spend the rest of his life without you.

He'd always been a manipulative little shit.

But he was yours and you were his.

You live your happily ever after.

Together.

He'd tried everything at this point.

He even prayed once.

Still, no dragon.

He hated the Dragon Pit.

Standing around as his brother and nephews bonded with their dragons was painful to watch.

Not to mention the three princes always made fun of him.

Then came the day he had the displeasure of meeting the Pink Dread.

You were walking around the enormous castle while your lord father was busying himself with discussing "urgent matters" with the King. You came across a guard dragging this dirty white haired boy in the opposite direction, towards the Queen's private quarters.

"What happened to you?

"A dragon."

He didn't know you.

That bugged him to no end.

Not long after, Aemond approached you.

He was spoiled and arrogant, that much was obvious.

Then his brother and nephews appeared, as if out of nowhere. His confidence -poof- gone.

"Brother, will you be accompanying us to the Dragon Pit? It's about time you take the almighty Pink Dread for a ride, don't you think?"

The boys left him there, red-faced and squeezing his small fists in rage.

You tried asking, but he ran off.

An hour or so later, Aemond was back.

He told you all about the cruel jokes.

About how he'd do anything to have a dragon of his own.

Kid actually cried a bit.

Made you swear to never say a word about it.

Instead of cowering in fear, you offered a sad smile. And a bear hug. Like, one of those that damn near breaks every bone in your upper body.

Ooh, that's all the young prince needed to develop the fattest crush on you.

You turn into a permanent resident of the Red Keep.

Don't ask. He has his ways.

First thing he does after coming back to King's Landing on dragon back was head for your chambers.

"Guess what?"

"Oh Gods, Aemond! What happened?! Are you alright?!"

"Nevermind that, guess how I got back here?"

"Who did this to you?"

"Ugh, just come with me."

He drags you all the way to Vhagar.

You and the large dragon stare at eachother as the prince smiles like a madman.

Something inside you is telling you that you and the beast shared the same thought. He's mad. Completely fucking insane.

You knocked his ass to the ground right then and there.

You could've swore Vhagar let at a huff of approval as she watched you try and knock some sense into Aemond.

He never bothered to wear his eyepatch around you.

You might have hinted to him that blue suits him.

Yep, you chose the sapphire yourself. He insisted.

It turns sour once the people around court start staring and commenting on his appearance.

All it took was for you to have a little chit-chat with one or two noble ladies for the rest to quiet down.

Still, Aemond's insecurity grew with the years.

Good thing he had you around to reassure him.

"Gods, you look fine. That damn patch won't grow legs and run off, Aemond. Relax."

"Hmmmmm..."

He's definitely blushing every time you say something like that

You've definitely had to kick Aegon's ass a few times.

Aemond wasn't sure if it was even possible, but he sorta fell more in love with you every time you dragged his brother to him, so Aegon could apologize for his rudeness.

The years went by quickly.

One day you receive a letter from your lord father. He'd decided to marry you off to some Lannister lord.

You run to Aemond. Tears streaming down your face, the letter from your father still in your hand.

He quickly snatches it from you. The second the words settle in, he turns his back on you and leaves you to stand there, heartbroken and confused.

Both him and Vhagar dissappear from the capital for a few days. Absolutely no one knows where they are.

He returns not long after, during the hour of the wolf.

"You'll be marrying no Lannister. Not while I'm around."

"What did you do?"

"Nevermind that, the matter is settled."

"You idiot, what did you do?"

"Ugh, just come with me."

He drags you to the throne room.

His whole family is there, along with the High Septon.

You get where this is going.

You two get married that same night.

#aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen fanfic #hotd fanfic #game of thrones #hotd #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #headcanon #requests open

563 notes · View notes

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 4 months

Text

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 46

Well. Tonal whiplash.

We advance three years, to 1986, and therefore we go from an almost aggressively mid Gatiss story on a Russian submarine to World Enough and Time, the Capaldi season finale that opens with the Doctor stepping out of the TARDIS mid-regeneration (which we've seen! It was a WW1 story with Mark Gatiss as an actor! He's a much better actor than writer), then cuts back in time to show us lovely companion Bill being horrifically cyber-converted on a Mondasian colony ship. I wish we were still on that submarine.

LOADS of plot though WOW. We get so many answers! Can't wait to update the list. The story proper starts with Bill, the ever-confusing Nardole ("I should go back to being blue" he muses at one point, because what the fuck is he), and of all people, Missy. They step out onto a 400 mile long colony ship stuck by a black hole which therefore has fun timey-wimey stuff going on whereby the top of the ship is moving much more slowly in time than the bottom. This is, to be clear, an absolutely fantastic concept to base a sci-fi horror story around, but only if you have a writer capable of spotting plot holes big enough to drive a bus through, which alas we do not have, so the whole thing is permeated with a constant urge to scream "JUST GET BACK IN THE ELEVATOR YOU FUCKING IDIOTS" at the screen.

So. They arrive, and Missy is pretending to be the Doctor while he listens in from the TARDIS. She describes Bill and Nardole as "Exposition and Comic Relief."

"Those aren't our names," Bill says.

"They aren't names, they're genders," Missy replies.

We are then treated to a flashback in which the Doctor says Time Lords don't care about genders and their associated stereotypes. This juxtaposition seems to be entirely unintentional.

BUT! So many answers. The Doctor explains that Missy is his oldest friend and a fellow Time Lord (our first Other Time Lord! Interesting, since we've been told repeatedly that the Doctor is the only one left.) They were friends together in the Academy, they've both changed gender since, and she's very like him so he wants her to be good.

"She's a murderer" says Bill, and the Doctor straight up compares sapient people to animals in an analogy I suspect Moffat thought was Really Clever, but I suppose it's a very Colin Baker response. In any case, this is presumably why Missy was living in a vault in the TARDIS, and could fly a TARDIS, and it confirms now that she is not, in fact, another regeneration of River. Origins for both! Huzzah. Let's see what's happening back on the ship.

A blue man immediately shoots Bill for being human.

Ah.

He does this because as soon as they arrive, the lifts start moving and rising to their current floor, and whatever is inside is specifically attracted to humans. The Doctor could in fact have prevented him shooting, but rather than actually stressing to the blue man that he will just put Bill back in the TARDIS to hide her, he instead chooses to go on an extensive self-aggrandising monologue about how great he is and is still mid-sentence when the lifts arrive so blue guy just fucking blasts a dinner plate sized hole right through her chest. Some patients in bandages step out, and take Bill's cooling corpse for 'repair'. They go down in the lift.

So at this point two things happen, to whit:

Bill wakes up in a hospital with a sort of coffee maker strapped to her chest, and spends the episode variously befriending a weird fake Russian (why so many fake Russians atm?) with a nakedly rubber face. His name is Mr Razor, and he does provide excellent comic relief. It turns out that the bottom of the ship has been here for generations and so is decaying - the air is engine fumes, the walls are rust, so some medical personnel are trying to upgrade everyone so they can move up in the lift and escape to a higher floor.

The Doctor realises the time difference as the lift with Bill is still going down. Rather than immediately following, he spends ten minutes explaining how black holes warp time to the blue guy who is not even going to be coming with him, and whom they ultimately abandon. This means Bill is down there for years.

Still, good to know the limitations of the TARDIS, eh? I mean, everything would have been solved if they'd simply been able to, I don't know, materialise outside the ship at a safe distance and then tow it away from the black hole. Clearly black holes must defeat the TARDIS. Got it. I shall remember this for future stories.

Anyway, here are several issues:

Of the 50 odd staff who were running this empty colony ship, many went down to the bottom floor when they first got stuck by the black hole. At this point, they did not bother going back up in the lift. Instead, for reasons that are entirely unexplained, they decided to stay down there and form a society, so the ship is now filled with their descendants. We literally know the lifts work; the people came for Bill immediately. There is no reason for the original staff to have done this.

The only difference it should make is that the blue guy would appear to the crew to have not moved in the ten minutes they were down there. They absolutely could still get back, though.

Like I have had days when I have felt 1000% done with my job but I have never decided to just build a house where I'm standing and start a colony so I don't have to go back to the office.

Perhaps, Tumblrs, you are wondering, like me, why the people on the bottom floor now can't just. You know. Get in the lift. Once again, in order to get Bill, several patients immediately got in the lift and came up for her, and then returned with her. So they do literally know it's possible. Bill asks this of Mr Razor. "We sent up an expedition to the higher floors once," he says. "But we never heard back from them."

Yes, that is blatantly the time difference, isn't it.

If there are still humans on those middle floors, why haven't they been retrieved by the patients? They came immediately for Bill, and she was on the top floor.

...and on, and on...

ANYWAY then Mr Razor BETRAYS Bill and has her cyber-converted. There is, fair play, an excellent reveal that these are Mondasian cybermen, which admittedly I did guess but still, credit where it's due. The conversion is shown to be more horrific than you can imagine, too. Semi-converted patients at one point are on a ward, repeatedly pressing speech buttons that say "Pain" and "Kill me", and the nurse who comes in just turns off the volume so they can't be heard. It is, imho, way too fucking dark for this show, actually, but that largely sums up Capaldi's era.

And that's the cliffhanger! The Doctor and Nardole staring in horror at crying Cyber-Bill (apparently she's still flesh inside the suit, though, that sure does imply it's reversible). BUT!

Also Mr Razor finds Missy and he peels off his rubber face.

"I had to wear this mask because I used to be Prime Minister on a different planet," he declares, which is baffling to us as we have not seen this, and also that doesn't make sense. "I'm a past incarnation of you and also the Master."

SO THAT'S THE MASTER! A character we have only heard named in passing. SO MANY answers in this episode.

I also still don't understand Nardole.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (NEW INFO: perhaps River returned as Missy. River and Missy are separate! Could be either of them I suppose. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up (NEW INFO: unless she’s Missy. She's not Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? NEW INFO: he used to be blue, and could apparently go back to it??? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

NEW INFO: There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants) She's a murderer and a fellow Time Lord and he's trying to rehabilitate her.

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She’s deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master? NEW INFO: This is now resolved! The Doctor's oldest friend, a fellow Time Lord, but also a murderer.

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not? Yeah, must be, he couldn’t possibly remember being plastic otherwise

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras? A psychic midwife says she’s just normal human

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die? NEW INFO: Resolved! On a colony ship stuck by a black hole

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years? Since Roman times, it seems

How does the Doctor survive River? He doesn’t, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? Is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

River says she’ll die one day when the Doctor doesn’t remember her, let’s hope she doesn’t mean it

Why doesn’t the TARDIS like Clara?

When was the Master Prime Minister?

#doctor whom #and yet we are continuing

41 notes · View notes