#i cannot stress this enough but this show was my childhood

[starry-bi-sky]

I am absolutely loving your Danyal Al Ghul au. While I have a soft spot for the whole plotline of Danny becoming his canon personality almost right after breaking away from the LOA all because of Jazz, I'm just as much for your take in which he goes through the same character development as Damian.

Now I'm curious. You already tackled his relationship with Dani, will you eventually take a stab at when he, Sam, and Tucker meet Gregor? Given that it's one of my hated episodes as I couldn't stand Sam's infuriatingly hypocritical attitude to Danny's suspicions of him, I'd kill to see your spin on it.

Aw, thank you! Danyal Al Ghul aus are what got me into DPDC first, so I have a major soft spot for them. That being said, uh, its exactly that soft spot that causes me to have Many Opinions about the trope you just mentioned. Like the trope is all fine and dandy, i don't blindly hate it, my main issue with it is that most aus i've seen treat his backstory as an ex-assassin more like a pretty cosmetic accessory rather than something that actually should have had an impact on him. Especially if he remembers being in the league.

Like i cannot stress enough the fact that being in an ecofascist assassin cult (regardless of his standing in it) should've left him, in some way or another, screwed up morally and psychologically because that's just how development works. Nature vs. Nurture is like a game of tug-o-war that never ends, where they are constantly fighting against each other and one side usually has the upper hand or greater influence. Children model the behaviors of the adults around them (ex: bobo the clown doll experiment), and what impacts them in childhood can stick with them permanently.

Like how my psychology professor put it: a baby's brain is like wet cement; if you slap your hand on it, it leaves an imprint, and the cement dries that way. The same rings true for small children.

I could go on, but I frankly have so many thoughts on that alone that I would end up completely derailing from the second half of your ask, and I don't want to be more critical than I already have. Especially since you just mentioned you have a soft spot for the trope.

[Okay, hold onto your hats because this is long. Naturally lmao.]

Gregor! Man, I'll admit I last watched the show back in middle school on a dodgy illegal website (it had surprisingly good audio and visual graphics, and full episodes. But really annoying porn ads.) but I only made it to like season 1 before my hyperfixation faded and I lost interest. So I never actually saw the Gregor episode.

But... it is relatively easy to find free websites that stream Danny Phantom :), so finding the episode took me like. Thirty seconds. Plus the Tv.Tropes recap page because my damn earbuds just died and im out in public as of rn.

I'm not sure if I'll write something for the gregor episode like I did with Dani, since Dani's a bit of a special case in that she's a clone and tends to be a reoccurring presence in DPDC, and I thought the new dynamic with Danyal would be interesting.

Plus, I'm not a big amethyst ocean shipper for the pure reason of I'm just not all that interested in it; its kinda bland to me. I'll admit I've entertained the thought in this au due to the whole balcony scene i wrote, but I would've entertained the thought anyways if it was Tucker in that position instead. Big multishipper, me.

But, if I had to make it official? Danyal is not interested romantically in Sam when the Gregor episode happens, regardless of his relationship with Valerie. Who, speaking of I'm trying to think about how that would go, and I'm torn between including him almost-dating Valerie or not.

Because on one hand it helps point out Sam's hypocrisy (and i love her but i am always happy to point out her flaws and address them in au) in this episode in terms of Danny spying on them, but on the other hand I'll want to include a lot of set up in order to make Gray Ghost work in this au and wow will that take a while.

Especially with the Flirting with Disaster episode because it happens due to Technus' meddling, and Danny is, well, the son of the Batman? A trained assassin? An ex-assassin nonetheless, but still an assassin? A prodigy child in this au? He might not have needed to use most of his skills in the last few years, but like... there's just a bunch of 'what if' and 'well technically...' and 'would he? he could, but would he?' things that is getting in the way of my thought process and making my head spin.

.

Mmm. Okay. Flirting with Disaster occurs relatively the same as canon with a few exceptions; like Danyal noticing the strange coincidences, and he might take the idea into proper consideration because Sam has a point it is strange, especially out of nowhere.

However,,, he really enjoys Valerie's company, and he does really like her. He's been adjusting to civilian life for the last four years and while he's made a lot of progress, he's still. an ex-assassin child living like a wolf amongst sheep. This is normal, typical teenager stuff, and usually his friends like to encourage him doing normal teenager stuff.

So he's stubbornly holding out on the thought that this is normal, that ghost stuff isn't interfering here. He's a little hurt that his friends are discouraging this, he's not bothered by the fact that Valerie is a ghost hunter and he a ghost -- his mother is an assassin, and his father is Batman, and they still had a relationship. (Granted, he's not gonna tell them that)

If anything, being diametrically opposed to each other but still being in love is part of the family! Granted, usually both parties are aware of said opposition to each other, but he'll make a special exception this time around.

(And man now that i'm thinking about gray ghost, im now thinking about various like. scenes i could write between the two of them. maybe in a reblog.)

Anyways uhhh things relatively go the same as canon. Yeah. I think Sam still has a crush on Danny and still spies out of jealousy with Tucker.

.

Now, the Gregor episode! With that out of the way; the TVTropes recap for this episode isn't the best because it doesn't go into detail about the entire episode like it does with Flirting With Disaster and Shades of Gray.

(which i looked at earlier because I made a section of this post talking briefly about what changes I'd make to the Shades of Gray episode to help set up Gray Ghost, but ended up deleting because it was kinda irrelevant for the matter at hand.)

So I'm taking in bits of the episode clips at a time, I'll try not to get too nitpicky about how each scene goes because then it's gonna take me a longer time to write this.

But! First thing's first; since Danny is not romantically interested in Sam, he is also not jealous of Gregor. He is however, a bit eyebrow-raisey at him in their first introduction, but that's because Gregor is coming off as obnoxious.

Danny thinks he's kinda annoying, and it doesn't take a genius to see that Gregor is trying to impress Sam. But since they've only known him for five minutes he takes the good faith assumption and assumes that Gregor is genuinely trying to show interest in Sam's interests too because he likes her, so he keeps mum. The fake hungarian accent is weird, but it's overall harmless, so he doesn't point it out.

He does do the spying thing when he starts suspecting that Gregor might be working for the GIW. The episode only has this happen twice, but for the au this happens a handful of more times over the course of the week, with Danyal's suspicion steadily rising more and more each time.

Hah, when he brings up wanting to spy on Sam and Gregor because of this reason, Tucker still does his "woah! you wanna spy on Sam?" thing.

Danny immediately turns to him, completely unimpressed, and crosses his arms. "Tucker," he says, deadpan, "you and Sam spied on me and Valerie."

He uses a combination of his ghost powers and his regular stealth ability to spy on them. He's hiding in a tree when they're skipping rocks, close enough that he can use his powers to hear them talk but far enough away that he has a good view of their surroundings.

He's invisible in the cinema, but doesn't accidentally get in front of the projector. He checks the inside of the room for the GIW, and then waits outside the actual room itself, keeping an eye on the area and occasionally flying in to watch the movie out of boredom. It reminds him of being back on a recon mission with the League, but it doesn't end with him orchestrating someone's death.

Then when they're at the mall he stays in human form, blending in with the crowd. He runs into the GIW there, but realizes that they're not there because of Gregor; they're just shopping. They didn't show up at either of the last two locations, and he follows them to make sure they're not also trying to blend in. But they're literally just there for shopping.

Danny is rather pleased with this turnout; so far Gregor isn't a spy, he's just annoying. The next day at lunch he asks Sam how her date with Gregor went, and that's how she figures out he spied on them, because well, she didn't tell him that.

"Have you been spying on me?"

Danny messes with his food a little bit, and Tucker is sinking into his seat with embarrassment. He frowns, "Only last night. Those incompetent government dodos--"

His lip curls up; he gets all 'Shakespeare-y' (as Sam and Tucker put it) when he's insulting someone, "--kept appearing whenever Gregor did. I followed you and him last night to make sure he wasn't a spy."

A roundabout way of saying, "I was worried".

Sam is, as canon, furious. Danny understands why, he knows generally speaking that people don't like being spied on. But he's confused on just how angry she is, and is a little irritated by it.

"Why would you do that!" She exclaims, "That's way out of line, Danny."

"How? You spied on me when I was going on dates with Valerie." He narrows his eyes, and points his fork at her, "I'm not blind, I noticed."

"That's different, we told you why we were suspicious. And we don't have ghost powers like you do."

"I don't need ghost powers to sneak around, Sam, you've seen this firsthand. And I just told you why I followed you, I thought he was working with the guys in white--"

"So you think someone can only be interested in me if they're after you?" (this is a paraphrased quote, folks ;D)

"No! If that was the case I would have voiced my concern the moment I thought it. I don't get why you're so angry, you spied too."

Iiits.... a mess. Sam storms off with Gregor, Tucker tags along because okay, yeah, maybe Gregor isn't with the GIW, or maybe last night was a fluke. Either way he ends up tagging along. Danny overhears that conversation between the GIW and Mr. Lancer, and maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong; but something is up.

I've gotten to that scene in the locker room where Gregor tells Danny that he knows he doesn't like him, and I've paused at Danny's reply to say this: Danyal doesn't even bother trying to deny it.

"I know you do not like me."

"You're right; I don't."

"Ah, let me finish. I know you do not like me because you want to protect your friend, Sam, and I respect that."

"...That's correct."

"Good! Because I am going to ask her out."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," he stands up, claps his hand tight on Gregor's shoulder, and leans close to him with a threatening smile, "so you understand me when i say; if you break my best friend's heart, you're as good as dead, right?"

"Ah,, yes. I am so glad we got that cleared out of the way, and now I hope after we can.. how you Americans put it, hang out?"

In the episode he hugs Danny and gives him a la bise (which is that french greeting where you kiss someone on the cheek two or more times) after they end their conversation. But here, when he goes to do that to Danyal, Danny leans away, points an accusatory finger at him, and says; "Absolutely not; we are not close."

The next scene after that is like, end of day. Sam, Tucker, and Gregor walking away. Sam looks over her shoulder to glare at Danny, then gets forlorn. Tucker looks back and just looks forlorn.

(When did I start narrating each scene?? Eh, I'm writing this in brief spurts of time throughout the day. Don't fix what's not broke)

After that there's this whole scene with the two GIW agents that have been chasing Phantom all episode. They're there because they have Tucker's PDA that Skulker took, and it's got the information of their purple backed gorilla assignment on it. They've been going around seeing who Tucker associates with in hopes of catching Phantom.

Uhh ahaha and that is where this gets a little interesting imo, and also allows me to mention that im retconning Danyal's (already) redesigned ghost form. Which I've wanted to retcon even before this moment bc it was just too busy. I'll get to that in a moment.

The GIW suspect Gregor for being the Phantom because of his white hair and green eyes, which is all fine and dandy until you remember: Danyal (and by extension Phantom) has that very noticeable, rather identifiable facial scar that goes across the middle of his fucking face. The GIW could easily suspect that Phantom hides his scar with makeup if he's in disguise, but if they meet a kid with a seemingly identical facial scar and similar disposition? Hoo boy.

Solution? I've got two: Gregor is canonically a kid from Michigan who faked everything to impress Sam. Considering he knows she's gothic and knows that she's ultra-recyclo vegetarian? He probably watched her from afar or got information on her somehow. His hair is dyed, his eyes might just naturally be green, but if he notices that she's got a crush on either Danyal or Phantom? A little sfx makeup could help him recreate a similar looking scar.

My second solution that's gonna happen anyways bc its that suit redesign; Danyal does hide his face as Phantom. Ghosts are emotional creatures and its a popular headcanon that their interests, ambitions, etc, influence the way they look as a ghost, not just their death. A big reoccurring theme of my au is that Danyal did not leave the League unscathed, and that being an assassin is an important part of his identity.

So i'm discarding the hazmat suit look entirely and leaning into the 'assassin' thing. But the general (stylized) feel is like, white ribbon/cloth vambraces that he has used as a garrote at some point, a hood, a gaiter scarf-type thing. I'm keeping the cape. I did a doodle a few days back that's not the official redesign, but a redesign for Phantom. I may reblog this post with that attached because it's got the general feel down. There's very little white involved, but the inside of his cape flares out and looks like the night sky.

Now, the hood and gaiter scarf gets rid of most of the problem, but Danny's hood doesn't stay on all the time, so the GIW have likely seen the upper half of the scar. :] Gregor's own drawn-on scar doesn't have to be 1:1, but it looks close enough, right? A small scar cutting through the edge of his brow and ends right below the corner of his eye. A 'cool, badass' one opposed to Danny's 'garish' scar.

But! Back to the episode scene. Canon Danny gets written off as being 'too prepubescent' to be Phantom, and honestly it'd be hilarious if Danyal was written off for the same reason (he's calling them idiots in his head if they do). But instead -- leaning into the GIW's incompetence here -- he gets written off as being too mature or too talkative. Or something equally as absurd.

Sam breaks up with Gregor for canon reasons, but when Gregor does his "i really like you, but, come on-!" and gestures to tucker, he adds on "and that scary friend of yours too, seriously!"

Things go relatively the same as canon after that. Danny does end up apologizing for spying, however. Sam does it first. Sorrows, prayers, all that.

.

Things usually end up changed or different when I actually write it down, so I'd likely add more or adjust different scenes according to the flow of the oneshot. This is just like, a general vibe of how things would go, and where some of the more obvious changes would be if I did write this oneshot.

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for the ask :]

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dpxdc crossover #danyal al ghul au #danyal al ghul #i dont even mind the trope that danny becomes like his canon self i just want *some* kind of impact on him. but as it stands most aus i've #seen lowkey treat his assassin background as an accessory. like dyeing your hair or piercing your ears. that being said its also a silly #au where they're brothers and are related to each other and thus doesn't have to be that deep at all! im just bored of seeing the same thin #all the time. especially considering danny is usually depicted as the paler/whiter passing twin and being the 'kinder. more compassionate' #one between the two of them. give me danny who suffered crises of morality! danny whose morally darker than a cloud #morally orange and blue danny who sooner understands 'dont litter' than 'dont murder'. arrogant danny! he dotes on the people he loves but #is an utter bitch to everyone else and thus has to learn to be kinder. danny discovering himself outside being an assassin #his brother remembers a kind and compassionate older brother because thats how danny interacted with him. But danny had no qualms turning #around and slicing the tendons of one of the other assassins because of smth they did that displeased him. #he can still be like his canon self but shouldn't there be something that stays behind? Lingering like a blast shadow? #danny who carries weapons on him always even though he knows he doesn't need it but it makes him feel safer. #danny who spits out the oddest. most foreboding shit sometimes and his friends just stare at him and go 'bro what the fuck??' #idk if i can share the website where i found the episodes bc of risk of copyright. but just search up #'where can i watch danny phantom for free' and look for a reddit post with that question. the comments give website options. #i keep thinking about gray ghost now. valerie finds herself becoming a member of the 'danny fenton protection squad' with sam and tucker #danny takes a page from his beloved mother's book and calls his partners 'beloved' and equally sappy pet names. #he also throws the BIGGEST shitstorm of the century when he finds out about what Axion Labs did to the dogs. hoo boy.

[chirpsythismorning]

Fun fact: the shot of Mike stepping off the cliff in s1 was likely a visual parallel to Sarah jumping off the stairs in this shot from Labyrinth (1986).

For those that haven't read this theory, please do because I didn’t make these observations myself and the original post goes a lot deeper into the details from Labyrinth, which in some ways align a little too conveniently with the narrative we’re seeing unravel on the show with Mike over the seasons.

For some basic context, in s4, we even get a reference to M.C. Escher’s Relativity hanging on the wall in Mike’s room, which is also on the wall of Sarah’s bedroom, along with that work being what inspired the scene in Labyrinth. 

This next part has actually been talked about before quite a bit in the fandom, even outside of tumblr, so it’s not exactly some breakthrough as a concept on its own.

Every season, in the first scene (re)introducing the main characters, Mike is running late in some capacity. In 1x01 it’s around 3 minutes, in 2x01 it’s around 6 minutes, in 3x01 it’s around 8 minutes, and in 4x01 it’s around 13 minutes. 

So technically not the literal season opener, as that’s usually reserved to a flashback at some different location, but obviously still within those first 15 minutes, following directly after the opener…

And since we already have an idea of what the opening of s5 is going to be, what do we think the scene directly after it is going to be? You know, in the scene that Mike has been consistently running late in, for four seasons now?

Speaking of 15 minutes, I think that if they were to keep this trend going for the final season (the full circle-ness of it all is honestly too epic to pass up), it’s likely that this final time it will happen around the 15 minute mark of 5x01, as that would make the build up for it each season pretty consistent.

And not only that, but it would also literally be a callback to what Karen says to Mike that first time he’s late in s1: 

And here’s my other favorite line from one of these scenes, in the context of this theory, because it literally acknowledges this concept directly and with this air of foreshadowing I cannot stress enough:

Interestingly, another detail that ties all these ‘Mike being late’ scenes together, is stairs.

In s1 he’s running up the stairs to convince his mom to let them keep playing.

In s2 he’s rushing down the stairs trying to avoid Nancy’s wrath.

In s3 he’s awkwardly bumping into strangers going down the escalator in Starcourt Mall.

And in s4 he’s hurrying down the stairs on his way to school.

The whole point of Labyrinth is that it’s an allegory for growing up, with Sarah going from dressing up as a princess to reenact one of her favorite fairytales after being chastised by her step-mom for not going on more dates like girls her age, to Sarah rejecting her childhood and it leading to an unfortunate series of events, forcing her to face reality and take responsibility of her own life.

Does this sound like anyone we know?

Mike, who starts the show in s1 playing DND animatedly with his friends before being interrupted by his mom to end the campaign despite protests, to his mom in s2 punishing his bad behavior by having him get rid of some of his favorite toys, to him in s3 insisting that they’re 'not kids anymore' and that it was inevitable for them to stop playing games and grow up and get girlfriends, to him now in s4 reverting back to this earlier version of himself, sporting the Hellfire shirt proudly, to then reverting back to pretending when showing up at the airport with Argyle calling his outfit a shitty knock off (aka calling Mike a shitty knock-off), and without the story ever acknowledging why those shifts happened in the first place, and with one season left?

Hint? Forced conformity. That’s what’s killing the kids. That’s the real monster.

They literally told us already that out of all the monster we've seen in the show, this is what is worse than all of that. Meaning that what is about to go down, most likely topping everything we've seen up to this point, is likely going to involve forced conformity.

I also think it’s interesting that the scene in Labyrinth happened during the climax of the film, because arguably if you were to watch Stranger Things in its entirety, from s1-5, the beginning of s5 is going to feel very much like the climax to the overall story. 

Things are going to be happening fast. The stakes are insane because they need to top everything that they’ve done up to this point. Something’s gotta give. And Mike is just not looking safe out here guys.

I could go on and on about all the hints that Mike is danger, but I’ll just share my favorites. 

How am I gonna survive a whole week without you guys? Mike says, at the tail end of his opening scene in s4, and with s5 set to start at the end of said week.

Mike sitting in front of an antique funeral home fan in the s4 promotional pictures of the party in the Creel attic.

Nancy saying she saw Mike die in the vision Vecna showed her, with the early stages of said vision coming true as season 4 nears its end.

Mike getting hit in the head with an arrow front and center by Suzie’s brother, in a sequence that was loaded with foreshadowing for the end of s4 (and beginning of s5?).

Watch out dominos. Your dominos are gonna fall. Argyle says, with Mike equally in the frame behind him.

Without heart, we’d all fall apart. Will says, after telling Mike he’s the heart.

A Karen lookalike standing in front of the missing person's board at the end of s4.

Mike’s very first line in the show (also the literal first line in the show) being A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you into the darkness. It is almost here…

So maybe, theoretically speaking, what we could get by that 15 minute mark going into s5, is Mike running late one last time, and it potentially being a callback to that cliff scene ie. Labyrinth.

Another scene that I think might've been foreshadowing what is currently going down, is Max and Mike both getting knocked out by Billy at the end of s3. Max goes down first and Mike follows right after, though Max is the first to come to and help them both up.

We know Max is unlikely to be separated from the rest of the characters the whole season, that’s just not feasible. She'll at least be on-screen despite maybe not being back with the others right away, even if it’s just a cryptic cliffhanger at the end of 5x01, followed by her returning more consistently on screen after that leading up to her rescue. With the way things ended in s4 though, we need to know where she’s at and get to finding her. Which is why I think at most it will be a 1-2 episode arc.

So maybe, this moment from s3 was a hint about Max and Mike’s impending doom at the hands of Vecna, as a result of not only their emotional states, but also their bonds with El, and them then being isolated for a short time (presumed dead), only to find their way back?

It’s also worth noting Mike was the only person to witness any of Max’s symptoms from the curse prior to her finding out about it, with the camera focusing on him beside her and looking at her worriedly as her nose bled. We don’t know who Vecna’s fourth victim was going to be, because Max threw herself in as bait, but could it have originally been Mike?

I know a lot of people don't like the Mike getting Vecna'd theories or Mike is depressed takes and so if you find yourself in that position, feel free to subtweet away or whatever you need to cope with my nonsense.

I'm not a big Mike is suicidal truther or anything even, nor do I think it makes sense for him to get Vecna'd in the traditional sense like how it happened with the others in s4 because the gates are open. But Vecna still hasn’t carried out his entire plan, a plan that includes Mike dying. And the imagery surrounding it all leading up to this is compelling regardless.

If one shot at the end of s3, with Max sitting in Billy's room while Hopper was in the background saying and yeah sometimes it's painful and sometimes it's sad was enough to hint at her whole depression arc in s4, then Mike being focused on for multiple shots while Hopper was in the background saying But, lately, I guess I've been feeling... distant from you. Like you're pulling away from me or something.-- And I guess, if I'm being really honest, that's what scares me. I don't want things to change, with Mike looking longingly at the Byers house, cutting to Will looking out the car window crying, then cutting back to Mike walking into his mom's arms with a dead stare on his face, has gotta be enough to justify dude going through some shit, which coincidentally matches up with everything talked about here.

Turns out getting to Mike, now that was the key…

Maybe the first episode of s5 is about Mike ending up wherever Max is, somewhere caught in between, and them ‘crawling’ back ie. The Crawl.

Definitely might add some context to that funkopop shot-listing video Ross posted, followed by one other photo a few days later with the caption being that they finished shot-listing for 5x01-5x02. Meaning the initial video posted was likely from 5x01...

#stranger things #mike wheeler #are they cool enough to pull this off? #remains to be seen #but why break a four season streak? #something something fifteen after #something something you’re late. again! we’re gonna miss the opening! #something something running up that hill and smalltown boy having almost the exact same fucking beat #also blankly staring at sadie and finn sitting close to each other in the s5 filming announcement pic #with finn being the only one out of all of them holding a script for the crawl 😀

[pseudowho]

hellooo Haitch, how are you ? Wanted to drop by and tell you that I enjoyed rereading some Nanami pieces from you now that you've been reblogging them with new headers Also wanted to ask you 2 things : 1. Tips for becoming a better writer ? As in how to improve flow, narration, description (without becoming overbearing), how to make characters more human and less unidimensional 2. Favourite books you've recently read and that you'd recommend ? i've been rereading old favourites like Lolita and the Catcher in the Rye and I desperately need something new :( Thanks a looot

Hiii! I'm having a hard week. It's my grandmother's funeral tomorrow, and I'm horribly afraid. I'm getting by, though. Thanks for asking 💕

TIPS FOR BECOMING A BETTER WRITER:

Read more, and read-- I cannot stress this enough-- challenging and variable material. Difficult books. Classics. Crappy chick-flicks. News articles. Thrillers, romances, murder mysteries, philosophy books, fantasy books. Research pieces. All of them add to the reference library in your mind than you can use to compare to. These all help with flow, narration, description, because they all give you styles of writing to imitate.

Onomatopoeia is your friend. Not just, in individual words (crash, plop, honk!) but in sentence structure. Someone who is angry but calm may sound staccato, crisp-- their words, their sentences, should snip accordingly. You're describing a slow-flowing river? Languid, lazy, loose and fluid rolling sounds bring it to mind.

Trust your reader. Show them, don't tell them. If your setting is a coffee shop, with bright yellow walls, sunflowers outside, and wonderful coffee that always wakes them up, at their favourite table by the window? Don't TELL them the coffee shop is that way. Show them through the way your character interacts with their environment. For example: "Kento's hands grazed those sunny petals, always reminding him, curiously, of a Van Gogh piece his grandmother displayed in his childhood. Stepping into the shop, blinded by the sunshine splashed on the walls and the earth-roast aroma, he spotted his regular table overlooking the street, still free; his barista seemed to have anticipated his arrival, sliding his drink to the front of the queue with a smile." See? The story is moved along AND the reader can picture the environment. Trust them to see the things you infer, without having to DIRECTLY SAY "the walls are yellow, there were sunflowers outside, and this was Kento's regular coffee shop". Capiche?

Some idiot once said to keep everything to the point. Whilst this is true, to some extent, your words choices should be luxurious, in that there is ALWAYS the perfect word for a mood, a smell, a taste, a touch, a feeling. Each word you choose being just so makes a story feel rich and flavoursome. The fact is, if you are struggling to describe something and you find yourself piling sentence after sentence of almost correct words...leave it. Come back when the correct word is there.

If you Selfship, SELFSHIP HARDER-- talk to these people in your head. Build scenarios with them. Savour their reactions and their responses, don't see them through rose-tinted lens either. Cross-reference them with people you know, people you HAVE KNOWN, find the perfect words to describe them to other people.

Empathise harder. Empathy is the core of understanding someone's character. Walk a mile in their shoes. It helps, trust me.

FAVOURITE STUFF I'VE READ LATELY:

I adore Natasha Pulley's "The Watchmaker of Filigree Street" and its sequel "The Lost Future of Pepperharrow". The Ben Aaronovitch "Rivers of London" series is also excellent. If you want a great atmospheric, beautifully perfect scene-setting ghost story, go for "The Haunting of Hill House" by Susan Hill. "Pachinko" (I can't recall the author and I'm away from my bookshelf) is another favourite of mine. "The Poppy War" is the first in a trilogy by R.F.Kuang, and although it was her debut novel and there are traces of immaturity there, she is blossoming and I genuinely threw the second book across the room at one point because the angst and plot-twists hit me so hard.

Phew.

I'm no professional writer, so these are just my thoughts.

Mr Haitch lectures in English Literature and Creative Writing, so the "trust your reader" is one that he offered.

Good luck, thanks for thinking I'm good enough to advise you on this.

-- Haitch xxx

#pseudowho #pseudowho answers you #writing tips #jjk #kento nanami

[madnessandentropy]

You have no idea how much people talking about how they wish they could meet someone like Catra or how they want to date someone like Catra concerns and disturbs me.

If you've read my post about Catra's abuse or at least watched the show without rose coloured glasses, you'd know this girlie is a textbook abuser.

This is not a funny fandom thing or "aww look at what a simp they are lmao"

This is dangerous.

Of the adults who are joking, there are young teens and even children who are dead serious and this is so so dangerous for them.

This is proof that media does affect reality, because now that spop has painted Catra's physical assault, gaslighting, emotional abuse and so on of Adora as something that isn't her fault actually and that Adora is in the wrong for wanting to leave her it is leaving children with very certain impressions.

I cannot stress enough how bad of a message this is to send. This can endanger someone because they believe this kind of behavior is normal or romantic, or that even if its bad they can't say anything cause the abuser had a bad childhood.

I'm not saying Nate is solely to blame if his viewers end up trapped in abusive relationships, but this sort of thing should be solid proof that you need to be aware of the messages you send and what you portray as acceptable.

If your partner grabs you by the hair and yanks you around by it, that is abuse

If your partner makes you doubt your intelligence and worth, that is abuse

If your partner gaslights you into thinking that leaving them, your abuser, makes you a bad partner or person that is abuse

So many of the things Catra has done is abuse

You do NOT want to date someone like Catra

Tagging: @spop-romanticizes-abuse

#spop critical #spop critisism #anti spop #anti catradora

[autism-alley]

augh found my old post abt pjo and disability from before the show came out but it was on ye olde blog so i’m literally just gonna copy and paste, 3, 2, 1—

ok now that i’ve got it on the brain, i want to talk about disability in pjo and specifically how calling percy jackson dumb or treating him as such is not only a mischaracterization, but ableism. as a quick note, i’m keeping this to just percy to avoid having this already long post be even longer, but there are other disabled characters in pjo worthy of discussion, though i hit many of the same points in this post. i bring up percy specifically because he is mostly the character i have seen people treat as stupid.

percy is a dyslexic teen with ADHD who comes from a low-income family, raised by a single mother, and deals with an abusive step-father. i cannot stress enough how much of his character is shaped by that experience, but as hard as it is to single out any one part, i am going to focus on his ADHD and dyslexia. this kid has nightmares of being forced to take tests in a straightjacket as teachers ask him if he’s stupid and withhold him from recess with his peers. he is constantly labelled as “troubled” and blamed for things he didn’t do or aren’t his fault. he is told, over and over again, even from trusted adults, that he is “not normal” (othering him). he bounces between schools. he struggles to make friends. he deals with bullying. he has difficulty studying and reading, even when invested. teachers struggle to connect with him and tend to just give up on him. these are real disabled experiences, and rick does a good job at presenting them in the pjo books. sometimes, it feels like everything is a struggle. you are living inside a system that not only is restricting, but actively works against and punishes you.

in contrast, CHB is a great example of how when environments meet the needs of disabled people, it hugely changes how disabled we are in that environment. demigod brains are hard-wired for ancient greek, not english, and they’re born impulsive, with high energy levels that help them survive battle—but aren’t very good for a classroom setting. but by having them read books in ancient greek, regularly do lots of training/physical activities, and have genuine opportunities to express themselves...they function pretty damn well. percy discovers that while he struggles academically, he is brilliant in combat and capable of saving the world numerous times—he is a hero. do you know how important that message is for disabled children? disabled adults, too? that we can be heroes?

it is here, in camp half-blood, that percy finds a place he belongs, that shows him his worth—finally, somewhere is built to not only include him, but to nurture and genuinely prepare him for the world outside its boarders. however, i think people forget that just because percy functions in the world of CHB and the gods, that does not mean he doesn’t face ableism in the mortal world—and that there is an entire group of people who see ourselves reflected in his character.

i could talk on for hours about how much being disabled shapes percy’s identity and how he interacts with the world—like how percy’s humor revolves around coping with his environment and actually displays a very low self esteem after being looked down upon his entire life. this kid doesn’t even have to say anything and he screams i had a neurodivergent childhood. but about 5-6 years ago, when i was more regularly tuned into the fandom, every time i saw someone call percy jackson dumb or an idiot, even jokingly, i raised an eyebrow, and now that the series is getting fresh coverage from disney+, i have wanted to make this post. so much of this kid’s life and personality comes from being treated like he’s dumb or incapable, so it’s troubling to watch part of the fanbase reflect the harmful parts of this character’s upbringing. i truly hope it does not become common again. it’s also one thing coming from a neurodivergent/disabled person with similar experiences (and even then i personally find it a little uncomfortable), it’s another to be said by a neurotypical/able bodied person.

percy jackson’s experiences make for very important representation, and for people to characterize him as just a goofy, unintelligent guy is not only an insult to his character as a kid who is intelligent, but previously lacked the environment to show it, but also ableist. so in the dawn of the new tv series era, i ask that we cut that shit out. rick riordan did not create rep for neurodivergent and disabled kids for them to be called stupid by the fanbase. even jokingly.

#anyways yea just had 2 bring this post back #in light of the new show i’d say i don’t think rick has made percy just a goofy airhead but #his and all demigods’ disabilities do feel kind of side lined #and it is disappointing #like. percy’s nightmares of school have made me cry. it breaks my heart especially as a ND kid who had similar nightmares #so yes when i see fans just echo the belief he’s been told all his childhood? infuriating #pjo show crit #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo show #ris raves

[rizahcwkeye]

Royai fic recommendations in honor of Royai Week 2023!

Just wanted to share some of my all-time favorite complete M and E-rated Royai fics on AO3 ever since getting into the fandom last May 2021. I have a very specific taste (??) in how I envision Royai’s dynamic when they get together, and these fics personally just NAILED it. Like I cannot stress enough how every Royai fan should read these! Without further ado...

Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul by onthearrow (95k words, E)

“Something has changed between them since the Promised Day.”

This has to be my all-time favorite. Like it’s a bit insane how good this fic is. Roy and Riza pining for each other ... in the most pathetic horny manner. Also the smut here... will leave you a bit gagged, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever read before. The author definitely did not hold back LMAO. So many moments in this fic where I had to put my phone down a bit just because I was so 😳😳😳 They have two complete Royai fics (including this one) and there’s one on the way for Royai Week 2023. I recommend to read all of it.

morning sun by hot_girl_burner_account (7.5k words, E)

“Roy walks Riza home after a wedding, and she's wearing this dress, and he might as well come up for some tea, and it's getting late, and the roads are icy, and they both run out of excuses.”

OH MY GOD if you’re looking for a fic set sometime after the promised day where Roy and Riza are just waiting for the ball to drop and immediately give in, this is it. The buildup, the context of being after a wedding.. the amount of flirting beforehand..like I know they were gonna fuck but the banter actually made me say OMG JUST FUCK!!! A sweet lil’ one shot that makes you want more.

the secret is to swallow / without expecting hunger to disappear by lantur (45k words, M)

“The fact that Hawkeye is Roy's subordinate is actually the least of his concerns. The least of the reasons why Roy keeps his distance, outside of their working relationship. It is difficult to keep his Lieutenant at arm’s length when all he wants to do is drag her closer and closer to him, pull her deeper into his orbit, but it has to be done.”

Am I the only one who loves it when Roy is pining and jealous and pathetic and he thinks his feelings are one-sided? Well, if you do too, this fic is perfect. Like... omg you’re so dumb Riza loves u !! Also I love that this is written in Roy’s POV

Once by TheFledglingDM (73k words, M)

“It was a longing like obsession, like madness, a yearning down to the bones. Once, he pleaded. Once, she prayed. Just once and I can move on. _ or - riza and roy's relationship over the years. covers childhood, ishval, the series, and post-promised day.”

HHHHHHHHH oh my god.... this fic... I read its entirety in one night! It’s basically a faster retelling of the events of FMAB except it’s entirely in Royai POV where they’re crushing and horny for each other (to specifically TASTE each other). This fic also would have an award if I gave out an award for Most Reread First Kiss, because yes it was THAT good.

First by TheFledglingDM (4.4k, E)

““So, Roy, I was thinking.” Riza said, as straightforward as if this were just another day at the office. Roy tried to speak but could barely produce volume. All he could manage was, “Uh-huh?” “We should have sex now,” Riza told him.”

Set immediately after Once by the same author. This is just sooo... exquisite I fear... Roy is so eager to please and honestly I get him! This can be read as a separate one-shot but honestly the 73k buildup in Once just makes the reading experience for this fic just 100x better

darker than the ocean, deeper than the sea by yourendlessblue (8.9k, E)

She looks up, and meets his eyes, blinking wide at him and demurely smiles, putting on a silent show. There’s power in this, she thinks, that she can affect him practically just by existing.

“Sir?”

“Havoc’s going to pick you up to our room,” he says, perfectly composed and prim. “I’ll see you.”

Roy is a sugar daddy. They both have feelings but they don’t talk about it they just have sex LOL. The way I wish this had a prequel and a sequel!! One of those rare AUs that just makes you want more!!! I WAS LEFT HANGING!! (not really but you get my point)

let’s fantasize from the other end of the line by lantur (10.8k, M)

“Riza receives a late-night phone call from Roy.”

This fic is soooo sensual. They both know what they’re doing is wrong on so many levels but neither of them ever address it so they CAN’T seem to stop. Also the work that lantur has done for the Royai community should be applauded LMAO if I wasn’t trying to keep this list short I would link all of their fics here. 

can we always be this close by lantur (10.9k, M)

“Roy sits in the spot Riza remembers as his favorite, too - in the armchair facing the entrance. He rises as soon as she walks in, striding toward her. “Thanks for joining me tonight, Lieutenant.”

It is silly, but Riza’s heart leaps at the sight of him. He looks pleased to see her, too. “Reginald?” She raises an eyebrow. “Really, Colonel. Could you have picked a stuffier alias?”

Roy and Riza have a rendezvous, or two, during the months of separation leading up to the Promised Day.”

OK LAST LANTUR REC (and last fic for this list) but oh god... this is so sweet and tender and UGH... that first kiss made me feel so warm!!! this fic is more emotional than horny.. but it’s so well done!

HOPE YALL ENJOY AS MUCH AS I DID !

#royai #royai week 2023 #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #royai fic #fmab #fma

[reinathevocaloid]

How KinnPorsche's Episode 6 Uses The Pastoral Genre To Add Depth And Tragedy

While I have only recently watched the entirety of KinnPorsche, I think I have seen enough fandom content already to fairly confidently say that episode six is often considered one of the best if not THE best episode of the show. It is personally one of my favorite episodes too, along with episode 10. Besides being a major turning point of the series and the true start of Kinn and Porsche's romantic relationship, it also has the excellent symbolism of the cuffs, which physically represent how Kinn had been forcefully keeping Porsche by his side (since Porsche was forced to work as a bodyguard). So, by releasing the cuffs, Porsche was given the freedom to choose to stay by Kinn's side instead of being kept there like a bird (or Phoenix lol) in a cage.

But, while all of these factors have certainly contributed to the long-standing power of episode six, I believe they're not the core reason why people can't stop making gifs, mvs, artworks, fics, and more based on the episode. Something about the episode keeps people coming back to it. A certain tragedy that reverberates throughout the show and makes the season finale more bittersweet than it would've been without it.

Instead of its place within the narrative or its symbolism, the strength of episode six lies within its genre: the pastoral.

For those who don't know, the pastoral genre refers to artworks that represent an idealized version of rural life. In most pastoral works, urban life is seen as a corrupting force, and people can only be healed by going to the countryside and reconnecting with nature. Though this genre is extremely old, plenty of modern works still use this trope. For example, plenty of rom-coms have the protagonist move to a small town from a big city. Besides finding love, the protagonist of these rom-coms is often able to rediscover their true self, which was lost while they were dealing with the stresses, duties, and craziness of the city. Another example of this genre is farming sims like Stardew Valley, which has the player control a farmer that is burnt out by the city and finds a better life in the country.

Although it wasn't their choice, Kinn and Porsche still end up moving from the city to the country in episode six. Similarly to all those rom-com and video game protags, the setting allows the two of them grow closer and fully fall in love. Since their stresses, responsibilities, duties, and roles are left behind in the city, they are both able to reconnect and show their innermost selves. For the first time ever, Kinn and Porsche are truly free, and it shows not only in their carefree happiness but also in their honesty. It's because of the rural setting that Kinn and Porsche finally share their childhood dreams, deepest emotions, and darkest fears.

But, unlike those rom-com protags and video game farmers, Kinn and Porsche cannot stay in the wilderness. One of the most well-known examples of pastoral fiction is Shakespeare's As You Like It, which primarily follows the duchess Rosalind. Similarly to Kinn and then Vegas in later episodes when he moves with Pete to the safe house (which could also be seen as an example of pastoral fiction and also leads to the VegasPete romance), Rosalind and her cousin, Celia, are forced to move out into the countryside after Rosalind's uncle usurps the court. Before leaving, Rosalind meets and becomes infatuated with a poor man named Orlando, who is only poor because his older brother won't give him the money and education he deserves, after he won a fighting tournament (the parallels between Kinn/Rosalind and Porsche/Orlando!!!). While Rosalind is living in the wilderness disguised as a man named Ganymede, Orlando also ends up living there, and the lack of pretenses and social hierarchies leads to the two characters fully falling in love. Like most pastoral narratives, the reprieve from their life in the duchy allows them to find happiness.

But, in the end, this is only a temporary respite. As a twist on the typical tropes associated with this genre, Shakespeare uses As You Like It to point out that the responsibilities left in the city will still remain there even if you leave for a period of time. Eventually, Rosalind and the rest of the court, that also ended up in rural countryside over the course of the play, must go back to the city and resume their duties. Their important political positions make it so they can't stay even if they wanted to.

Like Rosalind, Kinn must go back to the city and resume his duties as the mafia head, and, like Orlando, Porsche must also go back to the city because he wants to stay by Kinn's side. Though the experience has made both the characters stronger (Kinn chooses to trust again and allow more of his inner self to shine through, and Porsche is more resolute and less naive about what's going on around him) and their relationship has truly blossomed, they are never able to reach the same level of carefree happiness that they had while lost in the wilderness because of the pressures around them.

After seeing and experiencing how happy Kinn and Porsche could be, there's a certain note of tragedy that reverberates throughout the entire story that wouldn't have been felt as strongly without the existence of episode six. From the first episode to the last episode, Korn succeeds in keeping Kinn and Porsche in a cage of responsibilities and bloodshed. Even as they have a seemingly fun party on a boat and sweetly pledge their lives to each other at the end of episode 14, it's hard to forget that the main antagonist has won and that our two leads are still trapped by the narrative. Though they are not struggling as much as Kim and Chay, they still have not reached a truly happy ending. This contrasts with Vegas and Pete who have managed to escape the narrative, which is represented in a meta context by literally having their resolution after the credits, and thus have the happiest ending out of the couples.

Though it would still be possible to see Kinn and Porsche's ending as somewhat tragic even without episode six, the episode allows the audience to truly witness everything that Kinn and Porsche had to sacrifice. Everything that they have lost. And that makes episode six an incredibly raw and unforgettable part of the story. (And is probably one of the many reasons why many of us are still hoping for a season two someday lol).

#kinnporsche #analysis #shut up anya #aka i once again use my english major skills for fandom purposes lololol

[thebadgerclan]

Tears

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x reader

Summary: Benedict is not prone to tears...

Benedict Bridgerton could count on one hand the number of times he’d cried in his adult life.  Of course in childhood, things like a broken toy or being denied extra dessert reduced him to tears, but such flights of fancy left him when he turned seven.  After that point, it took a fair amount of effort to bring the second eldest Bridgerton to tears, and only four circumstances had occurred to bring about such emotion.

The death of his father, of course, had broken Benedict.  He could never forget walking onto the lawn of Aubrey Hall and seeing his father dead in his heavily pregnant mother’s arms, Anthony knelt at their side.  “The children…they cannot see…” Violet had said, but Anthony was in shock.  Benedict knew he’d had to be strong for his siblings, but as soon as he was alone, Benedict shattered.

He’d cried, screamed, raged, begged God to bring his Papa  back.  But it was futile; Edmund Bridgerton was dead.  Anthony had appeared in the room, and they’d held each other in their grief, not speaking, but taking comfort in the other’s proximity.  The funeral had been emotional, but once his father was in the ground and the grief had passed, Benedict would not shed another tear for twelve years.

***

It was the day of his wedding.  Benedict stood at the altar with Anthony at his side, nerves coursing through him.  Yours was a true love match, your courtship lasting just over 4 months, but Benedict had never been more sure of himself.  He loved you, he loved you so deeply, so purely, so infinitely, he would surely die if he did not marry you.  He’d been terrified to propose, but your smile and your teary eyes when you’d said yes made it all worth it.

Now, Benedict was nervous that you might not show.  That he’d be jilted and heartbroken.  But his spiraling thoughts were interrupted by Anthony’s hand on his shoulder.  “Don’t worry, brother,” he said.  “She’ll be here soon.”  Not soon enough, he thought, but when the chapel doors opened, Benedict felt his heart stop in his chest.  As soon as he saw you, tears sprung to his eyes, but he wasn’t sad.  No, Benedict was beyond happy.

You smiled when you saw your fiance, your heart squeezing when you saw the tears rolling down his cheeks.  Anthony was smiling behind him, and your soon to be husband brought a hand to his eyes, wiping his tears quickly.  Benedict was reluctant to take his eyes off you for even a second, but his tears were blurring his vision and obstructing his view of you, so in reality, he had no choice.

By the time you reached him, Benedict was in silent but heavy tears, overcome with love and happiness.  “My love,” he said, after shaking your father’s hand and taking your hands in his own.  “You are so very beautiful.  I am so lucky.”  Throughout the ceremony, Benedict continued to weep, and when you kissed him, his tears dripped onto your face.  Lady Whistledown wrote that “The former Miss L/N is lucky indeed to have found her match in one so openly devoted to her.”

***

Three years had come and gone, and your courses had arrived 36 times like clockwork.  To be honest, you were beginning to lose hope.  You so desperately wanted a child, but it was starting to feel like that wasn’t going to happen.  Benedict had no need of an heir, but he also wanted a child, and seeing you so distraught broke his heart.  “It will happen, my love,” he told you.  “We just have to be patient.”

But your patience was wearing thin.  So thin, that when your courses were a week late, you choked it up to stress and moved on with your life.  Then two weeks late, and you dared to consider.  And when your breakfast made a prompt reappearance, you were summoning the doctor.  Benedict was a ball of nerves while you were examined, and when he was summoned into the room, he felt like he might combust.

“Congratulations,” the doctor said, and your hands flew to your stomach.  “You are expecting, Mrs. Bridgerton.  The little one will be here in about 7 months.”  He gave you some information and congratulated you once more before departing, after which Benedict pulled you into an embrace.  “Oh, my love!” he cried, lifting you off your feet.  “You are with child!  Mark my words, this is the happiest day of my life!”

Benedict set you down and dropped to his knees, pressing kisses all over your belly.  “My little one, I love you so much already.  We have waited so very long for you!”  The front of your dress was damp, and you realized your husband was crying.  “Y/N, you have made me so happy,” he said, sniffling, and you knelt before him, noting the slight frown on his face at your belly being removed from his view, which disappeared when he was presented with your face.

“I believe you had quite a bit to do with this little one’s existence too, darling,” you teased, and Benedict laughed.  “Indeed I did.  Oh Y/N, you’re going to be a mother!  I’m going to be a father!”  “Yes you are, Benedict.  The most wonderful father in the world.”  Your husband kissed you, his tears mingling with yours.  That day was not the happiest of his life, however, that would come 7 months later.

***

It had been a hard and long labor, but Benedict had refused to leave your side.  Even when the doctor cited your honor, your husband remained.  “It is unseemly, sir,” he said.  “A gentleman should not see such things.”  “And just what do you think happened to result in this baby?” Benedict countered, and the argument dropped.  15 hours passed, and your husband would have done anything to ease your pain or bear it for you, but all he could do was offer words of comfort.

He was terrified of childbirth.  Benedict knew that many women did not survive the grueling ordeal, and the thought of losing you was unbearable.  But his own Mama had done it 8 times and lived to see dawn, so he had faith.  “I do not know why women are seen as the inferior sex,” he told you after a particularly brutal contraction.  “When it is women who go through such trials.”

17 hours in, and the midwife announced it was time for you to push.  Benedict took up his position at your side, your hand clutched in his.  You screamed and squeezed his hand so hard he thought you might have snapped a tendon, but he didn’t care.  All that mattered was you and the little baby you were bringing into the world.  With one final push, it was done, and Benedict heard the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard: a shrill, wailing cry.

“A girl,” the doctor announced, and once the baby was cleaned, weighed, and measured, she was swaddled and placed on your chest.  You were already in tears, and Benedict knew he would follow suit.  Your daughter screamed her little lungs out until she found your breast and happily began to nurse.  “What will we call her?” your husband asked, and you smiled, the answer immediate.

“Katharine,” you said, stroking your daughter’s cheek.  “Katharine Violet Bridgerton.”  Benedict nodded, feeling tears spring to his eyes.  “Katharine,” he repeated.  “Our Katharine.  Little Kat.”  Katharine finished nursing, and you looked up at Benedict.  “Do you want to hold her?”  He nodded, and the midwife helped shift the little girl into her father’s arms.  Benedict looked at his daughter with absolute wonder, sitting at your side so you could still see her.

“Oh, my Katharine,” he said, voice soft and thick with tears.  “Little love, you are perfect.  And I love you so much, so much, Katharine.  You will be so loved, you shall never know pain or suffering.  And I will always be here for you, sweet one.  I promise.”  Benedict was unable to wipe his tears as he was cradling Katharine, so you reached up and wiped them away.  He knew that as his little girl grew, there would be times when he would be brought to tears, but he prayed that they were only happy tears.

#benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x you #bridgerton reader insert

[thequietesthing]

SHADOW & BONE SEASON 2 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD - read at your own risk

Ok, I think I made it clear enough

So, yesterday I finished watching the second season of S&B and I have contrasting thoughts.

Let's start with the good ok?

THE ACTORS. Cannot stress this enough. That is definitely a bunch of very talented people. They had one job and boy if they delivered. I liked everyone but my favourite performances were the ones of Freddy Carter (the Bastard of the Barrel psychotic gaze couldn't have been done better, and also his relationship with Inej... chef's kiss – straight out from the books) Amita Suman (if possible she did an even better job than in the first season, I loved Amita in every scene, from the fight ones to her SCENE with Kaz, and especially what she says to him after that "Hope is dangerous", which I don't think is very much in line with the Inej from the book, but it fits really well in the storyline of the tv series) Daisy Head (THE WOMAN WAS AMAZING, thank god she was given a bigger role in this season! the way she portrayed Genya was brilliant, the hurt, the shame, the fear you could read everything from her face, simply brilliant) Patrick Gibson (my love Nikolai, he also did a very good job and I liked his transitioning from a very swaggering and outgoing performance of Sturmhond, to his portrayal of Nikolai – I've seen some critics in the way he portrayed Nikolai, but in my opinion it couldn't have been better. Sturmhond is not the same as Nikolai otherwise it wouldn't have made sense to create the alter ego; for as much as he has the confident exterior, Nikolai is extremely thoughtful (and I think that you can recognise that by reading KOS/ROW) and Patrick was able to show the thought process that we read in the books, so I liked him). All the others were all extremely good, Ben Barnes off the charts as always, Jessie Mei Li and Archie Renaux did a brilliant job to give us Malina (sometimes definitely too diabetic but alright), the rest of the Crows, Danielle, Kit, Jack and Calahan were AMAZING, they embodied their characters perfectly (Wesper was done beautifully, different than the books, but Kit and Jack are so good that it just came flawless anyway; Helnik was pure angst and I LOVED IT). Also special mentions to Lewis Tan and Anna Leong Brophy because they NAILED the twins performance.

Then we have the plot. Now I wouldn't discard the thing as necessarily bad, because in its own right it wasn't. The issue with book adaptations is that we have such high standards given by the books that we always expect too much. I have to say, some things I liked some things I didn't. Shadow & Bone parts I have to say I'm partial to the second book, especially the whole attack at the Little Palace is just one of my favourites scenes ever and it felt a bit meh. Other issue they have not tackled at all was the religious role Alina had (especially with Tamar and Tolya that in the tv series look more like Nikolai's sidekicks) that instead I wanted to see. A character that basically disappears is the Apparat: I don't like the guy but he was kind of important (how he always schemes around, how he imprisoned Alina, now he's just a guy that gives shady advice to everyone who'd listen). I wish I could have seen more Zoya simply because I love her very much and the fact that she and the Darkling didn't have any type of scenes together is absurd to me. All the scenes where Nikolai was were better in my opinion but I may be a little biased, but I just don't want him to pine over Alina for too long! Not with Zoya right there! But we'll see. Also the whole thing Mal/Alina/Darkling was done in a pretty good way; could have been done better? obviously, but since the objective was not to copy word by word from the books I think it went well. Six of Crows parts I liked how they portrayed Kaz (his childhood story I wanted to cry everytime), very on point BUT I didn't like how rushed it was the vengeance against Pekka Rollins; it was done too quickly for the sake of giving the Crows something to do the first half of the season and it deserved more time for me. I like the new dynamics with the integration of Nina and Wylan, but once again we couldn't really see much of it because there was always someone else and never just the Crows. I've said it before but I'll say it again, Wesper was majestic, Jack must have understood Wylan to a soul level because it was the same as reading Leigh words. I don't particularly mind the fact that Wesper had a thing before rather than not having met at all. Also Jesper embracing its powers was really nice if not a bit rushed. Then, KANEJ SCENES PEOPLE. The talent of Amita and Freddy shone through so brightly it's amazing (the "How will you have me" scene pierced me to the core – not to mention Inej's dream.... ughh so good). KOS foreshadowing They killed David and I was so not okay with that, but then I thought "Did they though?" bc there was no body no anything, so maybe and I say maybe he still alive somewhere (he better be bc he has to marry Genya and be happy and I'll be in denial until it is confirmed). WHEN THE BEE LANDED ON ZOYA SHOULDER the scream that came out of me people thought I was possessed I swear. Nikolai as he finds out he's the nichevo’ya was really well done. What Nina said to Zoya "someone will sweep you off your feet so hard you won't know what hit you" I wanted to cry, I swear if they don't give me Zoyalai next season I'll riot. I didn't particularly enjoy the Genya,Zoya and Alina triumvirate, but I'm feeling it may be short lived. (Also Zoya's "I could fix him" energy is what we want in S3)

Now for what may happen next, I'm really happy about the jurda parem storyline because it affects everyone in different ways. I hope that now that they'll tackle KOS it won't become the Alina show pt 2 but they'll give Zoya the story she deserves. I need Zoya to be the general and right hand of the King and Alina is kind in the middle of that but then I thought that Alina will probably go on her own journey with the fact she has the sword to return to Shu Han and now dark powers and so she may enter her villain era with maybe Mal bringing her again on the right path (also let's not forget that the tree the Darkling goes into is in Shu Han, so I think they'll play around with that a bit), idk honestly all I care at this point is that by the end Alina's hair have to be white. I hope the Crows finally free poor Matthias from Hellgate and finally finally go do the Ice Court heist, that it has been a long time coming.

All in all I honestly liked the season, there was only one main issue that affected everything else: too many characters. In Italian there is a saying "troppa carne al fuoco" which means literally "too much meat on the fire" which translates to the fact that there were too many things to follow to do it properly. Too many stories to follow, too many people on the move with too many things to accomplish, and even with good writing it can easily become a shitty thing. So whatever it is to come (hopefully season 3 and also the rumoured SOC spinoff) I'm glad they are planning to separate the cast.

Ok I'm done.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone season 2 #s&b #s&b s2 #alina starkov #mal oretsev #the darkling #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #genya safin #david costyk #malina #darklina #zoyalai #six of crows #soc #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #wesper #nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik #netflix #personal review #grishaverse

[notknickers]

tma fears and könig

(i have incorporated my headcanons and my interpretations of könig with this: it's not like we are given much canon material to work with, anyway. just warning about it, because if you see me belabour a point with iron confidence, but cannot place where that came from, the answer is simply "from my head".)

@eyerotyourbrain : the intersection between different types of brainrots that affect the tma girlies (gender neutral) and the cod girlies (also gender neutral) with specific regards to jared hopworth and könig may remain a mystery, but the intersection between könig and the fears isn't anymore. not to me, no sir, it never was!

it has been revealed by yours truly under the cut, if you're still interested.

(i sincerly hope you are, because this thing took me three days!!! 😂)

first, however, mandatory self-identification: i am wholly of the stranger, with just a bit of flesh. it would be nice to know who i am dealing with, in turn.

(please, don't be yet another eyevatar 😭)

the buried: könig is no stranger to poverty and crushing debt, or at least, his younger self was acutely aware of this. squalor, negation and absence were young könig's everyday reality for years. the way it has left a mark is how, once he managed to dig himself out of penury, the toll those years took on him still manifests in his preoccupation with keeping afloat, insisting on living way below his means even though he doesn't need to anymore.

the way this fear manifests in könig is twofold: on the one hand, as stressed by his choice for a job, he will do anything for that paychecque, to keep the money flowing; on the other, the spartan lifestyle free of self-indulgence and frivolity, contrasted by a tendency towards hoarding what few possessions he has, until, one day, perhaps his tower of junk will collapse and bury him whole.

if he were an avatar of the buried, his distinctive feature would be the dirt under his chipped, bloody nails that coats his fingers no matter how many times he washed his hands and a sense of unease and preoccupation he exudes, which turns to crushing despair everytime he stands too close to anyone.

the corruption: still due to the aforementioned poverty, filth was another thing that characterised könig's childhood: rotting food, crawlers and vermin attracted by it, dirty clothes, infrequent grooming and those fleeting moments of joy and distraction, playing with worms in the mud, picking snails after the rain or poking nests with a stick...

not an entirely negative thing, as living communally in barracks with many others, breathing the same air, sharing the same space and learning to be self-sufficient and resourceful while making do with what the military allowed is not for the weak of stomach.

the effects are still visible today, in the man könig has become: the loathing towards filth still manifests in a usually impeccable presentation of his person and his military quarters at the base, an exemplar of order, tidiness and cleanliness.

only for könig to fall into utter disrepair the moment in between deployments, when he is in his small, claustrophobic flat, full of hoarded possessions untidily piled in every corner, with countless roaches and other bugs raising generations of egg spawns, a mould-infested shower he rarely uses, as he barely keeps himself clean, and also infesting other fixtures in both loo and kitchen, such as sink and fridge. the squalor from which he fought so hard to escape always claims könig, drags him back in its unsanitary clutches the moment no one is looking.

however, the real mark the corruption left is könig's tendency towards obsession. if the somewhat unhealthy relationship he has with his job were not enough to show this, paying attention to the way he conducts his interpersonal relationships will.

even here, the ways he behaves are very disconnected, going from keeping to himself for fear of ceding to his instincts, to obsessing over a friendship or romantic relationship to the point of stalking - breaking and entering without a sign (unless he wants to leave one) is a joke for someone of his skills.

he is deathly afraid of abandonment, a thing that might come across as surprising, considering how independent and self-reliant könig is. but once he finds the unconditional care and the gentle love he craves, even the threat of that being taken from him affects him deeply and has him behaving irrationally. not overtly violently, as he worships his lovers with all of himself as the loyal puppy he is, but he will beg and cry not to be abandoned, clinging to that person both bodily and metaphorically for all his emotional needs. if that fails, that's when he will start imposing his presence where he is not wanted, until he finds a way to let go and disappear for another long bout of being on his own, lest his worst, most needy traits come out again.

love of any kind has been so scarce in his life, when it takes hold of him, it's like a parasite planting its roots in his flesh and sapping him of all sense as it grows and grows, leaving könig a pliant, clingy, but unpredictable husk.

if he were an avatar of the corruption, his eyes would always be bloodshot and his sclera an unhealthy, yellowish hue.

the dark: brackish water, when unpaid bills led to cut utilities but thirst hit all the same, is nothing könig did not already experience. and survived.

neither is the darkness of the wardrobe könig's parents confined him in as a child when they decided he was being too much, adding hours for every whimper and sob they heard coming from it, then, often, forgetting and just leaving him in there until little könig took it upon himself to risk further punishment by breaking out.

wardrobes, lockers, niches of every kind... places of fear and torture that, with time, turned to comfort and solace. somewhere könig could hide from shouting and bullying, find the peace and quiet he needed. the shroud of darkness as a mother's caress.

now, as a grown man, (besides the occasional pang of horror a flashback brings along, pulling him back in that wardrobe) fear of the dark is the furthest thing from his mind. dark is a friend, a cherished companion.

whoever tries to use it to their advantage against könig should be more afraid for their lives, than the other way around.

if könig were an avatar of the dark he would envelope his chosen victims in sightless, feelings-less darkness out of mercy, hoping for them to tap into their inner strengths and emerge more resilient.

in his spare time, he would totally hang out with the sandman and the beast that killed robert montauk.

the desolation: under the detached, composed, even careful exterior to the point of avoidance, something burns, powerful enough to scorch the earth all around and ensure nothing ever grows again.

for könig, this rage and resentment found the constricting touch of discipline in the army, at first, and in the years that bring calm in hindsight.

yet, subdued at great cost though it may be, that voracious flame still hungers and finds release on the battlefield, where, as far as könig is concerned, anything is allowed.

he knows the fire is as dangerous to his targets as it is to him and he is not afraid. one day, that terrible heat will turn inwards and engulf him whole in self-immolation and he won't return.

if könig were an avatar of the desolation, he would be driven less by spite, than need. but he would make for quite the herald of self/destruction for self/destruction's sake all the same.

the end: it's not that hard to believe that könig, still in his prime, is actually rather surprised to still be alive. between parental abuse and bullying that earned him the kinds of beltings and beatings he thought would kill him as he endured and all the hell he has been through as a soldier, not to mention the kind of health issues that come with his size), he hasn't known a moment in which he hasn't felt like he was on borrowed time.

like the clock meant to measure his life broke and when he didn't simply ceased, a rather different one with impossible hours took over and when its invisible hands join on the designated sign one last time, he will be no more.

if he were an avatar of the end, that pocket watch would be his artefact and he would use it to those who call to him, knowingly or not. in the meantime, he will have to settle with sending as many lives to crush through the end line with more mundane means, but with the same zeal as the most devoted acolyte.

may every life he takes fuel his own, instead of consuming him more.

the eye: quiet and unseen. that is what avoiding to make himself a target has always entailed. failure still marrs his face and body in hideous, disfiguring scars. making noise, being noticed at the wrong moment - which, it seems, for young könig the moment was never right - has never paid.

but to avoid something, one has to know it well and that is what könig perfected: knowing, learning, observing, hiding.

just because he doesn't always hold the gaze of his interlocutors, or his eyes wander while he speaks or listens, it does not mean he isn't paying attention to every word, every detail. and when you turn away, you will find his eyes boring holes through you, going through every piece and scrap of information he has at disposal to assemble and make sense.

and with his education being spotty, as his formative years were spent surviving, observing as learning has been an invaluable tool. a testament to it, his being a highly valued asset.

if he were an avatar of the eye, the fear that unkind eyes might once more lay on him would be driven to full-on paranoia of being watched and known and bared open and he would do anything to prevent that. he would probably be a very violent avatar who would soon leave the eye for something that better suits his need for protection, as his mind just couldn't take it.

the flesh: what hasn't this man's flesh known? perhaps gentleness, something he could use more of, something he certainly longs for.

it has known brutality, of which it still bears the marks.

it has known change, as the beastly god in man form könig is now was once rather different. a memory of a softer, scrawnier, gentler past self he keeps locked, clinging to it as he rejects and hides from it.

it has known the harrowing of being remade anew, whilst still being trapped in its confining form, the form of what he was and, in part, will always be.

if to tom haan meat is me, to könig, meat is weapon and barrier, honed and perfected to its use and through its use.

if könig were an avatar of the flesh, he would be too busy having nasty, disgusting, bloody sex with jared hopworth in my fics, for him to have time for anything else. sorry not sorry.

the hunt: for someone who spent years of his life being prey, only two choices were available: surrender to death, or upgrade to hunter. könig is still alive, so you know what choice he made.

studying his targets, learning their habits, navigating their environment, calculating escape routes to bar or exploit, forcing to a corner... that's a huge part of his job.

and the killing, of course.

the beast in him is there, pulling, tearing, stirring, wanting out. and it does come out. merciless, ravenous, bloodthirsty. once it smells blood, that part of hunting that is all about patience, strategy and calculation is eclipsed and the berserker beast takes over, dipping claws in eyesockets, tearing limbs from cores, digging in viscera and delighting in the screams.

feeding. filling. quenching.

until next time.

if könig were an avatar of the hunt... who's to say he isn't already? one thing is certain, however: he will never be prey again.

(although, care to sink your teeth in monster!könig? brave - or lustful - enough to let him do the same with you...?)

the lonely: isolation to the point of alienation.

from being denied counting on anyone but himself, to dedicating his existence towards never needing anyone and engaging fully with his killing business, the only place that exists for him in civil society is the one he carves with bloody claws... and, by now, the interest wanes more than it waxes.

he has been forsaken too many times. betrayed by those supposed to love him and barely given a chance to love the company of any, after that.

a little, unchoked spark for connection still exists there, but it's only a matter of time until it won't anymore. still, how nice it would be if it manifested... perhaps, in the solitude of his mind, he even dreams about it and the many forms it could take. perhaps he is not so far gone. yet.

would it even be possible, now, when avoidance and compartmentalising are all he has known?

if könig were an avatar of the lonely, i don' tknow that he would much care for peter lukas and his ilk...

the slaughter: how do you feel about those scenes of extreme, brutal, senseless violence set to brautiful, haunting and entirely out-of-place music? because i think that's what könig sees and hears when all that makes him human, all that makes him who he is has shrunk so far, deep inside that all is left is an amorphous amalgam of pure... what can you even call that?

the broken child is gone, so is the reserved, quiet man. no trace of the disciplined and strategically adept colonel.

yet, something that holds all three in spirit and shows all through könig's untamed and implacable, instinctual frenzy. second nature.

and it's music and movement and dancing to that gory tune that drowns out all but the screams and tender flesh turning to wet pulp, and he knows the everchanging steps by heart.

if könig were an avatar of the slaughter, he would long to hear the piper one last time, only to be denied.

the spiral: könig has stopped being afraid of losing his mind because he knows he went mad long ago. whatever emerged is what is left. what will always be.

one thing he does not fear and trusts unconditionally are his thoughts and his senses, however. himself. that self he has earned at such high cost. whatever his self might be. what is a self, after all, if not a reflection on the mirror of circumstances?

no matter. whoever he is, he knows he can confide in. at least, on the well-navigated path of war-making. as for less certain terrrains...

but that is enough.

if könig were of the spiral, i don't think he would be aware of his... d̸̡̯̼̗̦͓̹̝̖̫͛̍̽̀͌̇͘͘͝ì̶̛͖̞̯̠̟̥͉̺̈̑̾̒͂͝ͅs̵̨͓̲̮̳̖̣͈͑̾t̷͙͈͍͌̅̾͛̔̌̚̕͝͝ŏ̷̱͔̱̱̜̗͒ͅŕ̷̟̬͊̒͂̇͐͒́t̶̨͎͊͋̄͛̈̀̚͠͝i̷̛̠̗̯̾̽̅̾̽̕͘̚͝o̷͎̞͉̺̝̍͐̐̊͘n̷̢̩͉̥͕͓͈͈̳̽̀̐͜

the stranger: who's to say who lies under that mask? he must be human, of that you are sure. what else, otherwise? yet, how many have had the chance to make sure?

how many masks would they have to lift, before finding something at least resembling the expected? and would that be him? the real him? are you sure?

inhuman proportions. inhuman temperament. always hiding in plain sight.

at least from a distance, as, sometimes by choice, sometimes by necessity, unknown is all he really will ever be to most.

if something took his place, could you really tell? would you even care?

one thing is sure: he could teach you the insides, if you were willing to learn. but would you like that?

if könig were of the stranger, the entity known as Ⴆɾҽҽƙσɳ αɳԃ ԋσρҽ would instead be known as ɮʀɛɛӄօռ ǟռɖ ɦօքɛ ǟռɖ ӄöռɨɢ. nothing would be different, otherwise.

(would love to see the ragtag team of institute assistants and avatars of the slaughter try stopping another unknowing. we would all be nameless dolls. no doubt about that.)

the vast: if there is someone aware of his insignificance, that is könig. when you scream loud and often enough, but no one comes, it is easy to get the message and surrender to how obvious it is that you don't count. something he seems to have accepted. a pawn in a bigger game that he is willing to be part of, as long as he is rewarded for it.

if war doesn't kill him, the uncaring universe will and he has made peace with that fact a long time ago.

until then, he'd rather avoid open, unending spaces that leave him vulnerable in conflict. cramped, tight quarters are always preferable.

if he were an avatar of the vast, he wouldn't be able to stand simon and his carefree, playful attitude. give könig a couple of centuries and he might reconsider.

alternatively, he would be the titan in fallen titan.

the web: hm, the mother... könig sure loves whimpering for his mummy with tears streaming down his cheeks and desperation in his eyes, if you catch him at the right moment.

(at least, when i'm writing him, he does... >.>)

otherwise, growing up the way he did, könig probably developed a natural aversion towards scheming, even when lies to protect himself were his only, often unsuccsessful, option.

being averse to schemes is not the same as being incapable of recognising them. but, at some point, anything can look like one and isolation becomes the only defence.

unless the scheme is grand enough that playing his role in it will benefit him more than it doesn't. for the right pay and a chance to walk away when he wants, there isn't much the man won't do.

if könig were chosen by the web... he would finish what was started and bash annabelle's skull in once and for all.

the extinction: what horrific creatures humans could one day become has always been under the surface and könig knew it in the past, as much as he sees it now, in what he does, how he does it and how other mirror his actions without regrets.

technology only makes it easier, but it's a tool in greedy hands. whatever animates those hands has always been there.

and the military has taken ample advantage of it: advances in media technology, for better means of propaganda, advances in weaponry, from the atomic bomb to drones, to make killing many as easy as pressing a button: no boots on ground needed.

this man clad in kevlar like second skin knows it well: he is part of it and has no strong feelings either way and no intention of quitting.

distopia is now, luv, and it makes. him. hard!

factions rising, factions falling. faces changing, but their spirit always the same and könig will be alongside them, exacting his pound... or his euro, his dollar, his ruble, his yen, his bitcoin, his ethereum...

he is prepared. he will survive and he will thrive and then he'll cease and nothing will matter anymore.

fatten his bank account, pump him full of secret military drugs and point him in the right direction. that's all he knows. that's all he asks.

if könig were an agent of the extinction, he would enjoy bringing about annihilation quite a lot.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma meta #tma entities #smirke's fourteen #smirke's fourteen + one #the buried #the corruption #the dark #the desolation #the end #the eye #the flesh #the hunt #the lonely #the slaughter #the spiral #the stranger #the vast #the web #the extinction #tma/cod crossover #tma/mwii crossover #cod #call of duty #cod meta #mw ii #mw2 #könig #konig

[freakyshibs]

Shows that were canned too early that deserved better (imo)

We all hate it when we get wayy too invested into a show with good characters, an interesting plot, and a solid setup right? Well it seems that the networks for these shows didn’t really see it that way sadly, some of these shows are known, others aren’t, but this is just gonna be me rambling about how we didn’t get more of these said shows 😭

The Owl House

Now this one I wont dig deep into too long? We did get a solid ending in the end, but we were definitely robbed of a full season 3

The fact that this was Disneys next big thing, (like Gravity Falls) and still got axed kinda baffles me a bit because executives love big ratings

I heard they cancelled it because of it ‘not fitting the disney brand’ (mostly because there were two main gay characters in it) which I thought was super unfair, because they really were that homophobic 💀

All in all, I enjoyed this show and wanted a full season 3

Close Enough

From Regular Show creator J.G Quintel, this show was definitely more for an older audience, and let me say they did amazing at it.

The shows humor didn’t revolve around cussing or sex jokes, (which is what I see all the time now in modern adult animation) and the show was definitely funny!

Unfortunately though, Max cancelled it after 3 seasons due to the merge of Discovery + and HBO Max, with Max canning alot of shows during that time, this being one of them

We kinda sorta got left on a cliffhanger of sorts?? At least imo. Liked the show and wish we had more

Wander Over Yonder

For a show made by Craig McCracken (Powerpuff Girls, Fosters Home) you’d think it would be popular and have a bunch of seasons right?

Well no, with this show only having two seasons after Disney cancelled it because ‘80 episodes were enough for this show’ which is kinda dumb?? I dunno I just don’t like executives and rules and stuff

I remember this show from my childhood, it was really good in my opinion, I feel like we could’ve had more if Disney didn’t cancel it as early as it did

Love you WOY 🫡

Inside Job

The fact that this show left on a cliffhanger too made me even more upset that Netflix cancelled it as early as they did

Not only was this another adult animated show that didn’t rely on cussing or sex jokes, the story was actually really interesting too and if the show did continue, we would’ve had a happy ending

Screw Netflix actually I will never forgive them for this one

Grojband

I CANNOT stress enough about how this show deserved so much more than what it got, I actually would’ve put it at number one, but the next one is kinda justifiable so ._.

From Todd Kauffman and Mark Thornton (Total Drama Island) this show featured a kid and his friends that were in a band, and used lead singers sisters diary as lyric ideas, bc they suck at writing them

And I loved it

I swear I don’t think I’ve ever been heavily interested in and emotionally attached to the characters in a show before, it was so good

The songs in this show were also heavenly, I suggest you give them a listen, theyre really good!

Also another reason I really liked the show was because it was a Canadian toon that didn’t revolve around gross out humor (I applaud them for that)

Unfortunately this was a show Cartoon Network screwed over BIG time, with when it came out during the summer it was airing, kids were mostly outside playing, never really gaining an audience, and then after the first half of the season aired, it was on a 2 YEAR hiatus. With fans questioning if the show would ever come back

Fortunately it did! Except Cartoon Network shoved it on their app, and a year later shoved it onto their sister channel, Boomerang. Then, after the show FINALLY ended their first season, the show was immediately cancelled, with Cartoon Network never really giving it a chance

The whole way Cartoon Network handled this show frustrated me immensely, with it having a decent fanbase, and people wanted more (me being one of them:()

The creators even had alot of plans for next said season, but I guess we will never get to see them (unless a Clone High situation happens but that’s doubtful)

Show was very underrated and deserved SO much more, Cartoon Network fumbled this one and the last show Im about to mention

Sym Bionic Titan

This sci fi animated series by Genndy Tartakovsky (Samurai Jack, Dexters Lab) only lasted one season with 20 episodes

With Cartoon Network cancelling it because of the failure to produce a TOY LINE

The fact this show got axed because of toys just makes me so upset

This was one of those shows that also left on a cliffhanger sadly, so we never really got to see how this show properly ended

With Genndy even saying that he wrote 10 more episodes, but now we will never get to see them

ALSO THE SHOWS SOUNDTRACK WAS SO GOOD?! Love when shows put banger songs in the bg, reminded me so much of Clone High

Anyways thats pretty much it? These are just my opinion tho, everyone is entirely different

#the owl house #inside job #close enough #wander over yonder #grojband #sym bionic titan #these shows deserved better

[writingrenna]

Hassel x GN!Reader

"Where The Heart Is"

A story where you start to actively pay attention to the specific brand of weird Hassel throws your way.

I admit, I didn't finish most of the friendship quests because I WANT MORE OF HIM, WHY DO CHARACTERS JUST DISAPPEAR/BECOME GENERIC NPCS WHEN THEY'RE DONE BEING IN THE STORY?? I want to truly engross myself in his backstory, so I'll be taking things slow. Don't mind me, just dragging out the inevitable </3

I WILL be taking advantage of his rematches, thank you very much.

ALSO this takes place three years after the end of the game so your expy has time to be hired and get to know Hassel, you work as one of the academy librarians!

Tone/Ending: Slightly Angsty At Parts, Wholesome, Romantic

Warnings: If you're sensitive to rough family situations, be warned! Hassel is very firm with no longer associating with his family and it's hinted at that his childhood wasn't the best, but the story doesn't dwell on that yet, I'm exploring that more later

Also, beware the movie and Hassel's painting sections, especially if the Iron Giant makes you sad

Word Count: A little bit over 5,000

^^^>

"You're... really sure about this, huh?" You say into your mug.

The steam from your tea gently tickled your nose as you considered what he said. The two of you were standing at the back of the staff room, both leaning against a window each on opposite sides of the bookshelf. The rain was fairly loud, but it served more as a gentle white noise to your conversation than anything.

"Yes, I simply cannot imagine an outcome that would make reaching back out again worth it."

You couldn't see his face, but the sadness in his tone was evident, so you took note of that.

"Ah, I know how that feels." You say, remembering some sour relationship conclusions where the other person reached out again or seemed to linger a bit more than they should. But his story... holy Tauros, it was something else.

"Well, do you think you're happy here in Paldea?" You begin. "I mean, would you consider seeing more of the world from time to time? Maybe even visit your home region again?"

He paused, taking in your question. He then huffed a little out of his nose, although it didn't seem to be out of annoyance.

"Well, I have lightly entertained the idea of just visiting my homeland again, but I just..." He paused. "Something is holding me back."

Your face dropped from attentive neutrality to one of sadness for him.

"Hey, no, that's valid of course! I was just wondering where you stood, you know? Like, after escaping all that and starting anew here? I'll stop asking if you like, though."

He immediately rebutted your offer.

"Nonsense, my dear. I do not mind your curiosity. I am aware my familial ties are... strange."

You can almost feel him stare into his mug in self-reflection, the one with the hand-drawn Gossifleur design a student made him that he had printed on. The one he proudly owned and tearfully showed off to every member of staff who happened to walk by if he had it at the time until the entire combined workforce of both the academy and the league knew about it. His favorite mug...

Him speaking up snapped you out of your trance.

"Ah, and about your first question. Truth be told, I do not have enough time to even imagine seeing more of the world, much less experience it. Between the academy and my duties with the elite four, my schedule is simply swamped! I sadly do not even remember the last time I had an extended break."

You frowned, looking down at your own mug. The one you spun yourself after classes on a day that Hassel had done a lesson in properly handling clay, donated courtesy of Brassius. He gave you a chance to throw down and de-stress as he cleaned the rest of the classroom since you had an especially rough day reorganizing books in the massive entrance hall. It wasn't perfect, but it was your own pride and joy, one he had cried upon seeing you finally use one spring morning.

"Oh! But do not pity me, I really and truly do love working with our students and giving it my all in the league. My classes remind me of the joy and wonder one feels while appreciating the beauty the world has to offer, even during those darker days. The future is bright for all our students! And these dragon Pokémon..." He paused. "They were always there for me despite my family's less-than accepting stance on my life choices. I have nothing but praise and gratitude to show them all."

You smiled, looking down a little as you let his words reverberate in your mind. You were going to ask him another question, only for him to completely derail your train of thought.

"Besides... there are many a thing here to make me feel well and truly at home."

You could hear a great warmth in his voice when he said this. You pondered on this, wondering if he meant to hint at something there when you notice the rain had stopped.

"Hey, the rain's gone!" You said before departing from the window. You stretch, careful not to accidentally spill the contents of your mug as you do so. You then walk forward a bit, looking over at your colleague as you do so.

You can't help but pause, however, at the way he stared longingly at the mug.

His eyes were transfixed on the last bit of tea left, swirling the liquid in his hands. His usual piercing eyes were replaced with a far more softened gaze, pupils large and unfocused.

He glanced up at you, smirking, although it was out of contentment. You couldn't help but focus on his blush. He was obviously thinking about something, but what ?? The way he stared at you from below his eyelids, refusing to lift his head more, but still giving you his undivided attention made you feel... strange.

'What is this man thinking?'

Despite taking in every little thing you could about his strange behavior, the moment really only lasted a few seconds before he chuckled softly, sitting up straight himself.

"Ah, well then." He softly intoned. "We should probably head out. Would you..."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"...do me the honor of... of letting me walk you outside?"

^^^>

The rain-kissed streets of Mesagoza smelled fresh, and the warmth in the air left you without the need of a jacket, so you decided to forego wearing it. Hassel seemingly felt the same way, taking his coat off and draping it over his right arm before gently placing his left dominant hand over top it, as if caressing it. He took a deep breath, eyelids closed and fluttering.

"Ahh... smell that evening air. The world has been rinsed clean and emerges anew!"

You smiled up at him. He truly did seem to appreciate every little thing this world had to offer, good or bad.

"Hah! Yeah, I love the smell of rain. Very cozy, makes me feel all peaceful and stuff."

You suddenly remembered something.

"O-oh! And did you know? The word describing that comfy smell of rain after a dry season is 'petrichor'!"

He looked at you, head tilted down and to the side at you, his wide eyes showing his astonishment.

"I did not! Thank you for enlightening me, I now know a far simpler way to describe this feeling."

You beamed up at him, eyes closing momentarily as you grinned a toothy grin. When your eyes opened again, his face had an enchanted smile. That blush... it was back.

A coincidence, surely.

You decided to pretend you didn't notice.

"Oh, hey! It's a nice evening. Would you like to take a little walk?"

You bow slightly, looking up at him and offering your hand. He flinches slightly, eyes widening again as his face erupted in a deeper hue.

"Uh, y-yes. Yes I would."

He hastily grabs your hand and moves to face forward, avoiding your gaze. The man was probably in his early-to-mid 50's or 60's, but his voice audibly cracked. You didn't mention it, however, much to his relief.

^^^>

Here you are, splashing and kicking about in some puddles. You brought rain boots with you to keep at the school because the weather seemed to change at a sneeze in Paldea, but you really didn't mind. You loved the rain. You also loved having company, even super posh and serious company. You called for your companion.

"C'MON, HASS! WHY NOT GET YOUR PANTS WET THIS ONE TIME!?"

He was leaning away, seemingly trying to protect his suit jacket.

"Er... I would rather not have to deal with dry cleaning for a few minutes of rebellion..."

You understood, although a part of you just wanted to see the man act like a child again. So you walked off to stare out into the distance, 'hmm'ing to yourself as you came up with an idea. This worried Hassel, who backed up a bit.

"My dearest, what is on your mind? I'm not sure I feel comfortable with your suspicious little 'hmm's..."

You let out a mischievous little cackle before turning your upper half back towards him. His nervous smiling face screams 'oh Arceus, save me!', yet he remains glued in place. He seems ready to bolt at any second, however.

"Oh, nothing." You start, turning to walk toward the man, whose nervous smile wavers a bit to being more worried.

"But I will break you."

He lets out a shakey noise, but he remains.

"Ah, well, it is alright. No need for, um, breaking." He grins. "I am quite content simply watching you enjoy yourself."

He seemed genuine. You groaned.

"Oh, I am still breaking you, sir." You point a finger at him, waggling it a little as you turn and walk away, although you don't retract it, simply shaking it to your side. "Juuuust you wait."

He 'hmmph's, shaking his head in amusement.

"I see, I am..."

He mumbles an 'Oh bother...' under his breath before continuing.

"...interested... to see whatever you have planned for the night."

You freeze. You didn't actually stop to think about when you'd "break" him. But tonight definitely works.

"Good. Cause it's gonna be WIIIIILD."

^^^>

It certainly was not nearly as wild as Hassel expected. Here you were, popping popcorn as he sat under a blanket fort in your living room. A part of you expected him to be giddy, feeling that childlike wonder take over.

But the logical part of you predicted his bewildered expression, silently staring up and around at the neon lights you hung about the dark room.

"So." he began. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I wanna remind you of what it's like to be a kid again! Let loose, man!" You did a strange little shimmying dance as you said this.

His eyes widened, although it was different than before.

"Really now?"

"Yes, really!"

The popcorn was finally done, so you put it in a large bowl before going over and putting it on the floor beside him.

"It's movie night now! Your choice..." You said, holding up several cases with classic movies.

The Little Primarina, The Pyroar King, even Revavrooms were available for him to choose from. He carefully looked them over, his usual neutral expression on his face as he seemed to seriously consider which movie to watch. It was kinda funny, your stomach compressing a little to hide a laugh that was threatening to come up. He didn't seem to notice however, instead pointing to one, looking back up at you in the process.

"That one looks promising."

^^^>

He chose poorly. Or at least, he chose one he wasn't prepared for. You watched as tears spilled from his eyes, him constantly shaking his head and whispering "no" over and over with the covers pulled up over his nose. The Steel Ultra Beast really did a number on him, watching the mysterious entity (who we now know as Celesteela) sacrifice itself to save its new friends from an Ultra Wormhole a secret branch of the government tried to seize, but instead caused to collapse. He yelped when it said to itself "Palafin." He couldn't bare to watch the climax, sobbing pitifully while squeezing his eyes shut, looking down and repeatedly chomping down on the blanket you two shared.

"It's Ok, Hass..." You said, rubbing his shoulder.

You had tried to warn him, but in all fairness, it'd take a lot of effort to properly warn anyone of the emotions involved watching it without spoiling the entire movie.

He leaned into you, his eyes still closed, tears still managing to escape.

"Th-thank you, my dearest..." He sniffles.

You felt bad for even having it as an option, but then again, he seemed to enjoy it despite the... sorrowful conclusion. You gave him a little while to let it all out, holding him tight and rubbing his back as he bawled his eyes out into your shoulder. You were so sucked up in comforting him that you almost forgot-

Gasp!

You sat up abruptly, although you hold onto Hassel so he's still lying on you.

"The ending scene!"

He's teary-eyed, but he looks over to the TV screen.

"The ending has not happened yet?"

"No! Or at least, not the true ending."

You smirk and look down at him like a Purrloin caught stealing but absolutely not regretting it, although his eyes are still sad. Either way, he kept watching, when...

"It... it is rebuilding itself?"

"Yeah! I mean, the movie never got a sequel, which sucks, but hey! Open-ended bittersweet endings are one of my favorite kinds!"

He seemed to feel slightly better, sniffling a bit as he sat up and wiped his nose.

"Ah, I-I see..." He said, slowly calming himself down. He took a few deep breaths before turning to you.

You feel the need to apologize.

"Hey, sorry I, uh, brought that movie out in the first place."

He looked at you, a weak smile on his face.

"Do not apologize, my dear! I can see why you and many others consider it a cult-classic. It was a marvellous story despite the turmoil in my heart. Perhaps even partially because of it."

He seemed hesitant to say the next part, sitting with his legs up to his chest.

"I, um, had a fantastic time with you tonight."

He turned to look at you, eyes sparkling due to the light of the TV.

"Really, I did."

There was so much warmth in his tear-stained face.

"I'm glad! I just wanted to see you let your guard down, haha!"

"Ah, I see..." He said, eyes darting to the side as he turned away, contemplation on his face.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment as he thought on what all just happened. You decided to close your eyes, lightly humming a tune to yourself. It wasn't one that existed, or even made sense really, but it was your own little melody.

"Ah, I have always wondered, is that a song you like?"

"Hehe, nah, just a melody I made up one day."

"Oh. It is very pleasant." He smiled.

"Thank you!" You smiled back.

^^^>

He had gone home later that night after you forced him to stay for pizza and a few episodes of a show you used to watch. He went for a salad instead, not wishing to feel sluggish on his way home, although you got him to eat one singular solitary slice. All-in-all, it was a very good night. You got him to smile and laugh again despite watching such a sad movie just an hour before.

It was now Friday, three days later. You knew he'd have something special planned for his students today, as he did every other Friday. You wondered what it'd be as you reorganized the shelf housing the Occulture Magazine again. You idly wondered how accurate the entries were when you heard a bell.

"Oh, classes are out already?"

You had already kept up with what the students in the entrance hall were up to that day, since there weren't many there to really pick up after, so really, all you had to do was a final check of the catalog you started earlier so you could pop by and see what Hassel had done that evening.

It took a bit over 30 minutes to wrap everything up, but you finished, signing out of your work computer and making your way over to the art room.

When you reached the door, you heard a familiar tune. You wondered what it was, before suddenly realizing something: it's the tune you hum! He remembered it? Has he hummed it before?

You entered the classroom, prepared to ask him how he remembered the erratic tune so well when you decided to see if he was in a state to even be distracted. Hassel was sitting at a desk, adding various dots with the aid of a thin paintbrush to a canvas he had. You assumed it was glitter or stars.

He looked up at you, neutral expression turning into a huge grin.

"Oh, my darling! Come over here! I have something I'd like to show you!"

You did as he said, coming over as he himself stood up to meet you at the other side of the desk.

He held up a painting, and by Arceus was it gorgeous. It was of Celesteela, flying into space, a content look on its face despite the doom looming over it.

"I used this as an example for today's lesson." He began. "I was inspired by our movie night earlier this week. I thought of the many pieces of media that make one feel things, the images and words that truly stick with you that came from another mind, how we often analyze and relate to them. So I decided to base this Friday's special on that very concept! Everyone was allowed to draw and paint their own favorite scenes from the movies, shows, and games they enjoy."

You nodded, still taking in all the details of his painting. He based it off a real photo of Celesteela, a sorta modern "glow up" of sorts that make the familiar scene truly pop.

He continued.

"This piece was meant to represent the acceptance Celesteela showed during the climax of the film. How it smiled despite facing what it thought at the time was oblivion. How it..." He swallowed and blinked harshly a few times. "...it would do anything for... the ones they lub... w-without he... hesi-"

You put a hand on his shoulder, smiling. The man looked back down at you, obviously on the brink of tears as he swallowed and sniffled a bit.

"Heh... I suppose you wouldn't need my analysis, seeing as though that tape of yours was so well-loved."

He had taken note of how the label on the tape wasn't perfectly pristine.

You scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, well..." You continued to look off to the side. "I like it when things make me feel things."

He softly laughed, a few stray tears finally escaping. He closed his eyes while leaning his head back for a moment.

"Yes, I can tell. You seem to enjoy learning about descriptive words and how specific they can get..."

He trailed off before wiping his tears away, finally looking down at you again.

"Well, speaking of, would you like to... accompany me at my booth for the academy's upcoming fair? It would be nice to teach people more ways to express themselves and how they feel about the things they consume. It is truly saddening to see people keep their opinions to themselves simply because they do not know how to accurately bring their thoughts into the world. And as a self-proclaimed 'word nerd', your area of expertise would be an excellent addition to my own inspiration station, alleviating the frustration they feel and helping them dig up what they feel inside."

You blinked. Hassel, the Hassel wanted to work with you? You thought he was far more articulate than you, often gnawing at what he says in your mind and trying to emulate that vibe in your emails. I mean, you often said "lmao" in real life. Having an interest in words sadly didn't make you a wordsmith of any sort. Did he see something in the way you speak or express yourself that you didn't?

"I'll d-do it."

Woah, how nervous were you? Or, rather, how eager were you?

Hassel's golden eyes shone as he grinned, ecstatic at your 'yes'.

"Ah, do not worry, my dear! You will do amazingly, I just know it."

Looks like you're gonna need to break out the thesaurus.

^^^>

It was the afternoon of the "Treasures Within" fun fair. Hassel's booth was really fun, he'd do his usual demo thing while also personally helping people start their artistic journeys when they didn't quite know where to go after each session. His advice came from a place that personally helped him cope and start his life anew in his past, although he didn't delve into just how it helped, only that he understands the struggle.

As for you, if someone wanted to articulate exactly how they felt about a piece of art or music, you'd hold a "mind unraveling" session, where you picked out certain themes they repeated or tried to go deeper in until they felt confident in describing what it is they feel with words that felt right. You thanked yourself for having the forethought to read up and watch a bunch of impassioned speeches online ahead of time.

It was a month of you hiding your anxiety from Hassel, but you can tell he knew, as he not-so-subtly tended to your every unspoken need, such as making tea whenever you were too busy reading, or having a comfy spot prepared whenever you came to his room to discuss your plans. He would even manage to check in on you more often than usual despite needing to tend to things on his own end.

Nothing could really get past him, could it?

As you were finishing up helping a kid who wanted to express just why he loved a drawing where Regieleki and Xurkitree became friends so much, you turn to see Hassel already looking at you, a familiar fond smile on his face.

"I would say today was a success, no?"

You pause for a split second, although you're not sure why. You respond, however.

"Oh yeah, for sure! I'd say we make a great team, even!"

Now it was Hassel's turn to pause, although his is far more noticeable. Jolting slightly, his mouth suddenly presses together into a tight line as a blush erupts on his face. He pretends to not realize this, although he looks tense.

"I certainly agree, my dear-"

His voice momentarily rises in pitch as he abruptly chokes and doubles over at the end, turning away. It sounded genuine, although you wondered if it'd have happened if you didn't say what you did.

You couldn't help but look back on all his odd behaviors around you lately.

"Um, yes!"

You turn to a vendor.

"I'm..."

You momentarily turn back to the man, pointing over your shoulder to the stand.

"I'm gonna go get some juice. For you, specifically."

You then turn and leave without another word.

^^^>

It was night. The fun fair has long since been cleared out in Mesagoza, but the two of you were nowhere near the town anymore. In fact, you were on top of the lighthouse on Poco Path.

Your eyes were closed, taking in that sea breeze. You cooed softly as you felt the gentle wind cut through the otherwise muggy night. Despite the humidity, it felt nice, reminding you of summer nights as a child.

Your train of thought came to an abrupt halt at this realization, however.

What was the weather like where Hassel used to live?

You opened your eyes, slowly turning toward the man, who also had his own closed. He had a calm smile on his face. You didn't want to ruin it, but you couldn't help but feel bad. He left all that was familiar to him due to circumstances he couldn't control, at the hands of his own family, no less. You wondered if he had any particular places, feelings, or things he missed, but you decided to ask a different question.

"...hey, uh... Hass?"

His smile widened for a split-second before he responded, eyes still closed.

"Yes, my dear?"

You didn't know how to begin.

"Does this weather make you think of anything?"

His smile fell to a neutral frown as he thought.

"Hm. What do you mean?"

How do you ask this question without annoying him...?

"L-like, this weather reminds me of summer break, when I'd open my window past my usual bedtime and stare at the stars. Does this weather make you feel nostalgic in any way? Like, sentimental and peaceful and stuff?"

You look down, stretching the bottom hem of your top a little. "It's just an intense feeling I'm getting, sorry."

He takes a moment to ponder this question.

"Ah, no worries. We often feel the need to relate with others in regards to our intense feelings and emotions. But to answer your question, it does, yes."

This answer both relieved and confused you further. He seemed fine answering, but it was somewhat vague. You decided not to push it, however, just glad he didn't take it the way you thought he might (not that it'd be wrong if he didn't want to answer it at all.)

"Right on, man. Right on..."

You turned away and stared back out into the distance. The silence that swept over the scene felt loose, fluid, running through and around the two of you like some unknown substance.

You weren't sure if you should add anything onto the conversation, but his voice decided what would happen instead.

"I... have a confession to make, actually."

You froze.

"Yeah?"

He took a deep breath.

"That feeling you often speak of, the one where you feel a lightness in your chest and peace wash over you. A peaceful sadness, even, I do not really feel when I think of 'home' anymore. I feel nothing. "

You take his words in. It made sense, really, but it made you sad beyond belief.

He continued.

"Yes, that feeling of longing, a-and belonging, I know it may be hard to truly grasp, but trust me when I say I am fine with my decisions, that I cannot say I regret leaving my old life behind even if I do miss certain aspects of it from time to time. The negatives here far outweigh the positives there."

You nodded. Honestly, this convo was all your mind needed to extinguish your curiosity for a good while. He left home, and he's content with his current life, no matter how much he may miss certain aspects of it. No elaboration needed.

Except, there was some elaboration needed, only it was needed elsewhere.

"Oh! And your confession? Or was that your confession?"

He paused, body tensing as his grip on the handrails tightened. His breathing became slightly labored as a blush creeped onto his face.

"Um, well..."

He mumbled an "Oh dear..." to himself before continuing.

"When I said I have things here that make me feel at home, I meant the connections I've made. I love the people in my life far more than I love my family. I still care for them, yes. I can confidently say I love them, but I cannot say I actually like them."

He wasn't looking at you. Your mind was swimming with possibilities for what he planned on saying next, although you had the faintest idea...

"I... am very fond of you, too. I often find that I feel that peaceful feeling around you in particular."

He swallowed, eyes stinging with tears he tried desperately to blink away. He was holding his composure quite well, actually. You subconsciously held your breath.

"My darling dearest, I cannot hide how I feel for much longer, no matter how hard I try... I think... I believe I am... falling in love with you."

Your mind went blank as you stared up at the man, heart and stomach dropping in an instant. His eyes have closed yet again. His shuddering shoulders and shaky breath gave everything away, however.

He lifted his arm, covering his eyes as you continued to stare wide-eyed at him.

"I am so very sorry, my dear! I-I hobe you do nod feel cornered by my conbession!" He sobbed. "I shall make my leab ib- ib you wish do be aloooone! BWUHH-HU-HU-HU-HUHHHHH!!"

You could barely understand what he was saying. He had already started to walk away when you finally closed your mouth. You weren't even aware you were gaping at him, the confession shutting your senses down despite halfway expecting something along these lines at this point. You guessed actually hearing him say it was different to speculating quietly to yourself...

"W-wait! Mr. Hassel!"

You grabbed his free arm, stopping him from getting any further. His cries continued, however.

"I-I'm sorry! I was just so shocked, I-"

You look down, still processing the feeling of your heart pounding in your chest. You hadn't even realized you were shaking so much until you realized how oddly... weak your grip on his arm felt.

"I-I jus-"

He took a few rapid half-breaths before stopping you.

"You do nod h-hab do gib me a resbonse! Nod now, nod eb-eberrrrr!"

You considered this. Truthfully, the idea of giving dating Hassel a shot didn't seem half-bad. You looked up to him, admired his skill and his strength despite everything he's been through. Not to mention, you admittedly found the man kinda cute. His personality just struck you as so sincere, taking his work and emotions very seriously. He's a very honest man, so he must truly love you. You'd definitely feel secure with him...

"...you're right... about the me needing time thing." You began. "B-but once I sort my feelings out, maybe we can get to know each other some more?"

He was still trembling, breath catching up with him as he hyperventilated. But a few seconds later, while heavily panting, he could respond.

"I-I would lub that!!"

He had turned to you, eyes still closed, head still tilted back, but he grabbed both of your hands and gently brought them up a little closer to himself. As he finally caught his breath and started breathing at a normal pace (aside from the large, shallow breaths he took), he slowly opened his eyes, looking at you, blush ever present on his face. His eyes sparkled with an intensity you'd never seen before as he smiled, the bottoms of his eyes crinkling as he did so. For a split-second, he looked like a young man again...

The two of you stood there, a tranquil feeling coming over you, when you heard him start to whimper. His mouth wobbled for a second before he suddenly started bawling again, causing your eyes to widen. You then let out an odd chuckle.

"Oookay, big guy. C'mere."

You took him into a hug, causing him to cry even louder as he let his overwhelming emotions out.

^^^>

It had been a few weeks. You were thinking back on everything that had happened. The moment you realized 'maybe he feels stronger feelings toward me than I thought.' How he went along with your weird plans despite having better things to do, how he looked out for your well-being by going above and beyond for you and truly understanding your needs, how he always praised and incorporated you into his work...

You absent-mindedly flip through some pages of Occulture Magazine. It really didn't seem too realistic now that you actually had a chance to sit down and read through it, but strangely enough, that wasn't really what you were thinking about right now.

You stand up, putting the book back on the shelf, a smile on your face as you make your way to the art room. He was on break at the moment.

You approach the open door, leaning against it and knocking, catching his attention.

"O-oh! Hello there!" He quickly clears his throat. "I'm very happy to see you! What brings you here?"

You look around, making sure nobody was there to hear this.

"Hoooow about... we go see a movie this Saturday?"

^^^>

A/N

I KNOW THIS STORY IS A LITTLE ODD! Like, he seems to be madly in love with you already, to an obvious degree, but this is the first time you take note of anything, right? Well, it's one of those "Oh yeah, there were signs" sorta situations. The pottery night you had with him was a small hint that he was already looking out for your well-being well before this and giving you special attention, but you just didn't think much of it. Plus, he's quite emotional, you imagine that once he finds a friend he feels safe around, his even more complex feelings come out. Which, true, but also HE DOES STUFF AROUND YOU THAT HE ONLY DOES AROUND YOU BUT YOU DON'T NOTICE CAUSE HE IMMEDIATELY CHANGES HIS BEHAVIOR ONCE HE REALIZES YOU'RE NEARBY. You defo noticed that behavior change, but again, he changes a bit around close friends already, and you didn't really have a point of reference for what his "normal" is (yet)

Sorry, I just love the pining dude genre, gimme some more oblivious love interests for male characters, please! Your gender still isn't stated, I just wanted Hassel to be the one to be super soft and like "Yes please notice me" while you're like "Huh. Cool. He just asked to take me to a new café. So anyway, how about some more weirdly specific words?" IT'S SUPER CUTE AHH

Also, speaking of, the story was gonna have them going to a café instead of a walk, and him talking about some beautiful customs and traditions from around the world and bringing up the Applin thing as a super duper totally subtle hint at his feelings, but you'd genuinely not know of that tradition before, so you'd just see it as a neat little cultural tidbit, but then I was like "bruh they just had tea", so I changed it to them spending time together like kids cause I thought it'd be cute if you got through to him to get him to experience things from a childhood he couldn't enjoy (even if it is more based on your own childhood, you're trying! Consider the night they shared here a test run). No worries, in future installments, reader will begin to fully understand what he went through growing up (I tried to make their questions less about his family and more about his life in general, but of course, the two are forever linked.) The idea of the little fair came randomly, based on the fact that all the gym leaders seem to have some career where they express themselves (even Larry with his "normal old job(s)," although obviously it's all more complicated than that), plus the entire game has frequent themes of people finding where they fit in life, what they wanna do, their dreams/goals, things like that. It's pretty interesting, actually, I can't articulate myself well tho so RIP I guess

ALSO ALSO not gonna edit this one cause the Tumblr app COULD NOT HANDLE IT LAST TIME so yeah

OH YEAH I HAVEN'T SEEN THE IRON GIANT IN 66 MILLION YEARS SO SORRY, I JUST TOOK WHAT I REMEMBERED AND POKÉ-FIED IT, I'm just going to use the excuse that the legends of the Ultra Beasts go WAY back, so the Celesteela in the movie may look simplified by comparison due to them not having a complete picture of it compared to the characters in S/US/M/UM. The movie doesn't even say its name, simply referring to it as the Steel Ultra Beast because nobody knew their names yet

#elite four hassel #hassel x reader #pokemon scarlet and violet #spoilers #gender neutral reader #open ended (romantic)

[cthoniccripple]

As a mixed Indigenous person who's had CPS on their ass their entire childhood just because of my white grandparents I cannot stress enough that ICWA is one of the most vital pieces of Indigenous Rights legislation we have.

And thank everything that it's safe, for now. Always for now. But it won't always be if we're not out here fighting tooth and nail to keep our children any time a white couple wants to "show them a good life". The goal is extermination of our cultures in favor of the gas guzzling suburban hellscape that the colonizers brought with them, it always has been.

It's a victory absolutely worthy of celebration, but as with every victory in the fight for rights, it is not permanent unless we keep showing up and showing out and we need to be ready for the inevitable next white couple that wants their own personal Pocahontas fantasy.

#protect icwa #save icwa #icwa #indigenous sovereignty #indigenous rights #native american #native pride #native rights #actually native

[soullessjack]

so uh suncaptor blocked me and although they can’t see it, i do first want to say i am sorry if I’ve upset them or made them feel like they’re being accused of anything. that wasn’t my intent and never is. but I rlly can’t stress enough that the forefront of the problem with their perspective is inherently seeing jack as an infant within canon. like this isn’t an ableism thing, it’s just a factually wrong thing.

Asmodeus says that Jack is new to the world, but not a child.

Jack says twice that he could not be and is not a child.

The only person to ever call Jack a child is Michael, and he explicitly says so to belittle Jack and make him feel weak.

There is plenty of merit in discussing Jack’s limited experience as a factor in his character, but I’ve only ever seen it taken in the vein that he is infantile and therefore a perpetual victim of everything because of it is, which just wrong by the show’s own portrayal. Not only that, but it does it disregard the actual power imbalance he has with TFW, and how that itself so factors into his character. I don’t know how or why it’s brushed off so much, but Jack is literally “the most powerful being in the universe.” He’s regarded as a threat constantly, and repeatedly expresses the very real fear that he might hurt his family or anybody else in a moment of lost control.

I also feel that the idea of his dynamic being considered as exclusively mistreatment by TFW/the other hunters is just. Not true. Like, Dean’s bullshit lasted for two weeks before he got over himself and he canonically never forgave himself for it for the entire two years he got to know Jack better. And again, Jack is the strongest person in the team. Nothing they have can remotely hurt him, and he’s very much aware of it, hence the sunshiny golden boy act. Jack is constantly trying to make himself appear safer. It’s about being liked, of course, but it’s also about being distinctly Not A Threat Because to jack, That’s Why He’s Hated.

when Mrs Butters states that Jack is so powerful Sam and Dean should be afraid of him, he never outwardly refutes that he’s powerful. he only says “but I would never hurt them.” when Michael is monologuing to him about how powerful he’ll become with age, he “doesn’t want to admit that could be possible.” Jack is very painfully aware of his power and what it means for the people around him, and he’s also very aware of their fear when it’s directed at him. He’s felt that fear.

Jack has an interesting and confusing dynamic with TFW from the start: that he must be protected from harm while also being kept from causing harm himself. re this post about his autonomy, and how he wants to be seen as trustworthy and safe, it’s extremely upsetting to Jack when he thinks that dynamic has shifted or changed. he’s blatantly annoyed to have everybody check up on him and look over his shoulder, to give him food tests for his morality; to not really trust him, especially after all he does for them and to belong with them.

I know a LOT of this stuff stems from Jack In The Box and I understand how and why it did and frankly that episode is its own can of worms so ill be as brief as I can and highlight a few things about JITB first:

• re his limited experience being a factor in his character, jack is incredibly naive to the point of it being a fatal flaw, one he cannot afford to have and is very aware of the cost it comes with. he views his naivety as a weakness, as stupidity, and him “sucking when it matters,” and per his need to be Safe and Trustworthy he is always trying to be Smarter and Stronger and Better and More Capable than his flaws or perceived weaknesses. that is one of the horrors of his character, and one which inherently drives him through all of his arcs, especially agreeing to be locked up under false pretenses because, again, HE KNOWS HE IS DANGEROUS AND WANTS TO BE SAFE.

Dean was reliving his childhood trauma after decades of living with it and never fully recovering from it; he had every reason to be behaving the way he did. His conflict with Jack is very easily summarized as two insanely unstable guys spiraling and hurting each other in their own grief. And again, he spent two years regretting and unforgiving what he did to Jack early on and making concerted efforts to amend for it as a father/friend/mentor. He’s a better parent than he’s given credit for is what I’ll end with.

The box was never going to keep Jack forever. We already knew he would get out. It’s hard to say this in a way that doesn’t undermine the trauma Jack indefinitely has from it, but it cannot physically hurt him and cannot kill him. Sam and Dean tricking him into it is not a threat or imbalanced abuse (and I cannot stress enough, these are not normal healthy people with normal problems or normal healthy solutions). In fact, the entire scene of him breaking out and leering out at them through smoke with pure hatred in his eyes just shows that he is the one on the other side of the imbalance, not them. Jack is the threat, and the dynamic is tense because of it.

I’m kind of losing myself in the ramble, but what I am trying to say is that

A) Jack is not an infant. Never was one, never will be, and he hates being called one because it’s almost always in the context of belittlement and him being weak/incapable. he shows sexual and romantic interest, he has a love interest, he’s regarded as a young adult by everybody who respects him (so not Michael). he wants to pull his own weight, and resents being considered a burden.

B) Jack is not helpless; he is a nigh-omnipotent demigod with apocalyptic levels of power, especially in the case of mental/emotional instability. He deeply fears hurting his loved ones, and strives to have constant control over himself so that he can be safe for them. The power imbalance only lies in his choice to not hurt them, which he has chosen against in those silly fits of rage that nobody ever acknowledges

B+ ) and he isn’t a helpless victim of child abuse either; for all of their dysfunctions and “I might have to kill you”s (which have always been there pre-jack), TFW2.0 does genuinely love each other as a family and make efforts to be better for each other. They’ve faltered before, but again, they aren’t normal people dealing with normal situations and they do not have the liberty to respond normally or even appropriately.

C) Jack’s lack of experience and knowledge is a very real thing, but it’s more about him constantly trying to make the right decisions and earn peoples’ trust in him that he will make them, as well as avoid making the wrong ones because that consistently leads to him hurting people who don’t deserve it. All of which is wrapped up in a little pink bow as to Jack asserting his autonomy/personhood and arguing for his capability/responsibility at any chance.

••

I’m not angry and I’m not ever trying to attack anyone. It’s just incredibly frustrating that this specific misconception fumbles the rest of the discussions people have around jack and only ever makes it harder to have them. which in turn is even more frustrating on a personal level because he’s my special interest and I can never not think about him, but there’s hardly anything to engage with on a broader level

#cal.txt #suncaptor #idk if user tags work if you’re not a gif blog but I really do want them to see this and understand me :( #spn #jack kline #tfw2.0 #spn fandom #baby jack #I guess is relevant ? #apparently it’s discourse to say a person should be treated like a person. love this fandom #fandom discourse #the thing about autistic special interests is it’s like dying and killing yourself when it’s taken the wrong way #so you can imagine I am not doing well #my legs fuckinf ache bro I’m not adding anymore tags I’m sorry #I’m conking out

[andraxicated]

the devil's witch

Pairings: toji x f! reader

Synopsis: An iron-wiled trip downstairs in the middle of the night leads to you seeing something horrifying that followed you for the rest of your life. Based on May Day Eve by Nick Joaquin.

Tags: historical au | enemies to lovers | age gap (reader is over 18) | fluff | angst |

a/n: I've read may day eve a long time ago and it's still one of my favorite literary works <3

be aware that some of the lines are taken from the short story!

It was the first day of May and witches were abroad in the night, she said—for it was a night of divination, and night of lovers, and those who cared might peer into a mirror and would there behold the face of whoever it was they were fated to marry—

"Oh, stop it you old woman!"

"Go scare those old men instead of us!"

"Enough with those old tales! Girls, calm down! Let us go to sleep! Madam, pls go and leave us for the night." Utahime says in an attempt to flatten the arising situation late in the night. But your stubborn self won't back down when hearing something that piques your interest.

"I won't sleep! Tell me old woman, what must I do?" You say standing up face to face with the servant as Utahime pressed her palm against her forehead. The other girls chant in support to let her tell you and the servant stares back at you with the same fiery eyes.

"Stop! Stop it! We are making too much noise! The old farts will come in here and break us apart if we were to be found!" Mai stresses by holding her index finger against her lips, pleading to be at least a little bit quiet.

"So?" You tip your head to the side. "What must I do?"

The old woman named Fumiyo who's been a long time servant of the Zenin Estate has been taking care of you girls since childhood. The little group of women that shared similarities by their family's occupation was always served by the woman you're facing right now.

And she always knew you have curiosity impulses that cannot be cured. There was simply no use in denying you your request. "You must take a candle. Go into a room that is dark and has a mirror in it and you must be alone in that room." She instructs and hands you a nearby candle resting on a table.

"Go up to the mirror, close your eyes and say: Mirror, mirror, show to me him whose woman I will be. If all goes right, just above your left shoulder will appear the face of the man you will marry."

Not just you but everyone was taken aback by the ridiculous yet sinister process. It stroke a little pang of fear in your heart but nonetheless, you don't believe in ghosts.

"And if it goes wrong?" Nobara who's clutching a pillow, asks for you.

Fumiyo startles you as she clutches your hand enclosing the candle. "Then the lord have mercy on you!" "Why!" "Because...you may see the devil!"

Silence. Then someone snorts and giggles. The room bursts into laughter together with you and the old woman seems dumbfounded by the unexpected reaction.

You give her a condescending smile and snatch your hand away from her grip. "I think you forgot that we're not children anymore." Strong, determined feet stride towards the door and your hands turn the doorknob. One last glance towards the girls and to the servant, you smile cheekily at her. "I don't believe easily"

The only light in the dark corridors of the estate was the dancing flame you were protecting. Normally, the hallways should have been lit but the truth was that the sisters' wing was neglected, left with a few servants. But all the more it was easy to sneak into their rooms since no one cared to surveil.

As you traverse the large hallways, you already had a specific location in your mind: the grand drawing room mirror on the main wing. It was a risky trip considering people would be questioning your presence if you were caught. And the chance of encountering their nasty relatives is high. Yet, you're a woman on a mission determined to satiate her curiosity. And besides, you have a little candle to defend yourself with.

The feel of the smooth carpeted staircase leaves you as you're met with the cold, marble floor. The scene of the empty drawing room sends feelings of gloom that your heart stung. It used to be filled with joyous laughter when you were kids but the fallout of relationships ended those moments.

You took a small breath and closed in on the area. Face to face with the mirror, you could admire your dimmed beauty along with the intricate frame. Gold foliage and flora, mysterious curves and carvings; it was too beautiful to be abandoned. Yet the struts to become closer to the reflection were met with fear and hesitancy.

You examine yourself, white nightgown dressing you as a ghost—but not quite with your face warm to the eyes. Your hair shiny, chest rising, and colored orbs of your eyes prove that the one peering into her reflection is a living, breathing being. You could only hope this is nothing wrong, that you could still see yourself standing in the next years.

But a small sigh and the faith of imitating the dead was all it took to be enchanted by the incantations falling from your lips. Until the last words where your arms visibly falter and the candle shakes, feet rooted to the ground, eyes afraid to open—afraid of what you could see. In the moment of urgency, you mused the idea of walking back to the staircase without your sight, albeit foolish.

But you heard the clack of heavy footing, a gruff snicker, and instantly opened your eyes.

"Mama! What did you see?" The little boy on your lap asks, but you're fixated on the mirror and the woman staring back at you. There were still traces of her youth even though she matured greatly. The girl in the mirror used to have plump skin, pretty lips, pristine eyes, and an impertinent and fiery facade. To the point where she was once akin to a sensitive feline.

But now, this was an old face slowly stripped of its beauty. Her skin was less elastic, lips thinned, eyes tired yet she looked serene and happy. A stark contrast of who she used to be, that you took note of.

"Mama!" The little boy shouted that you're forced to turn your attention to him. "Pay attention to me! You get angry when we're not listening but you're not listening too!" He pouted and was visibly upset. You never thought someday you'd get lectured by someone years younger than you. You finally understand that silly old woman's temperament. God bless her soul.

Your eyes soften and giggle at your son, brushing aside his hair that looked a lot like yours. "I'm sorry. I momentarily forgot what happened next." "Do you remember now? Mama! Please tell!" Your son pleaded by pulling on your dress; you look right into his eyes and see him. A mischievous smile creeps onto your lips as you sit the little boy properly in your lap. When was the last time your playful nature visited you?

"I saw the devil." You answered with bitter eyes and the child's anticipation fell.

"The devil? Mama?..." His small voice asked, trailing off. And you swear you could almost cry at how this was squeezing your heart. This boy was too cute for his own good. Perhaps every mother saw their child like this.

"Yes, my love. I opened my eyes and there it was, in the mirror, smiling at me over my left shoulder, was the face of the devil." You pretend to shudder. "Is he scary? Is it red?"

You snort and chortle at his innocence, pinching his chubby cheeks. "Yes very. But not red, it has the same color as us humans." "Were you frightened?"

"Very. That's why you shouldn't believe easily in what others say. Or you may see the horrors of the darkness yourself one day." Your son nods, taking your words seriously. But just like you back then, the questions would never stop until his curiosity is satiated. Oh, you fear for this child.

"What did the devil look like?"

"Hmm....he had straight black hair and a scar on the side of his mouth." "Left or right?' "Right"

"Like papa?" Your son asks with questioning brows and you nod with a smile. "Quite. But the devil's scar was one of sin, while your papa's scar is one of survival." He nodded, asking you to go on. "Well, he was extremely tall...and well built. Just like your papa. Suffice to say he was kind of attractive" You tell your son even though he can't understand some of your words.

"Did he speak to you mama?" "Yes. He spoke to me." You whisper softly, reminiscing the past and kissing your little boy's head. The sweet child attempts to hold your hand, his doe eyes shining against the sunlight and you cried.

You could never forget. That May night will never leave your mind.

"Don't need no candle to see such a pretty face" He praised, smiling at you in the mirror and stepping back to give a low mocking bow. From the gruff speech, decent clothing, and familiar features, he must be one of your friend's nasty relatives. The men of the Zenin family are utterly horrendous, meet one and you're best to be running away.

And so you do, dashing past him with a glare and he had burst into drunken laughter. Toji liked exactly what you displayed just right now; he never knew you'd grow up to be feisty.

"I remember you. You're (y/n)" He cocked his head to the side and clicked his tongue. "I left when you were this small and came home to find an enchantress." Toji demonstrated how you used to be half his height. "And I saw you at the tavern the other night, offered a drink but you refused."

"Good thing I did. Now let me pass"

"If I let you, will you have a drink with me pretty girl?" he asked even though he won't take no for an answer. You can't reason out with this one, so you stood before him with tired and pleading eyes to let you go. And the mirror, the melting candle, the dancing flame, and your shadows on the wall bear witness to this one-sided banter.

Toji who came home to the estate after years while drunk, erased the thought of passing out on his cold bed and found himself sober, wanting to prolong your attention on him. A devilish glint passed in his eyes.

"Let me pass! I want to sleep!" The fatigue was now taking a toll on you and you found yourself wanting to go back to the sister's room. In your angry cries, he grasped you by the wrist and smirked.

"No. Not until we're drunk"

"Drink with the devil!"

"My my. My pretty girl has a foul mouth."

"Stop calling me that! I am not your pretty girl!" "Whose then? Someone I know? Someone I beat up? 'Coz I heard you treat all Zenin men the same." You attempt to get his grip off you as it was hurting and he noticed this. Toji let you go but made sure you can't run off to the staircase.

"And why not? I have a very valid reason to express my displeasure to all of you." You howl in anger. "Oh, how I detest you, you obnoxious old men! You treat women like we're good for nothing and just for breeding stocks! And then you dally off with young women I—it's absolutely revolting!"

Toji is amused at your sudden outburst, his grin growing wider at your heaving chest and your forehead creased. Looks like you have a lot of bottled-up emotions that ended up slapping him in the face. But there's something he's curious about...

"How did you know?" He asks and you scoff at him for the nth time that night. "Of course, I hear what people say. I wish to unhear those inappropriate details about despicable men like you."

He chuckles. "But clearly, you think of yourself highly. You came to admire yourself in this fancy mirror in the middle of the night. Never took you for a vain woman." Him assuming your personality made you beyond livid as you clenched fists. Toji glanced at your cute little curled-up fists and thought how hard would it hit.

"I was not admiring myself." "You were admiring the moon perhaps? Or me? I know you ladies—"

Tears prick your eyes as you bit your mouth. Those tears are not from sadness but from the mere frustration you're having right now. "You are insufferable! It is exhausting to talk to you! If you don't shut your mouth I will scream—mmph!"

Amid the struggle, you drop the candle from your hand as you keep on struggling in his hold. You couldn't even speak or breathe as Toji has your mouth covered by his large palm. The fire has gone out the moment it dropped and now, both of you are shrouded in darkness.

Two idiots scuffling in the dark as one attempts to keep the other shut as the other attempts to live. If you hadn't bit his skin, it probably would've turned a murder in the dark.

"Fuck!" Toji quickly whipped his hand away as he hisses from the stinging pain of the bite. He couldn't see a thing but he could feel a scar forming, thankfully not enough to draw blood. He lets out a breath of relief and turns angrily at wherever you are. "What the fuck are you? An animal?"

But you couldn't answer. Warm tears continued to flow onto your cheeks as you crouch on the floor, shaken by how death almost knocked at your door. You hug your knees and eye the faint outline of the man's legs in the dark. Gathering all of your strength, you punch his hard bones as an act of swift revenge for what he did to you.

"Agh!" Toji groans in pain quite loudly, gripping his ankles as he falls to the ground next to you. "You almost killed me you asshole!" You sob and Toji freezes, taking a moment to register what you said.

"It was so dark, I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe because of your disgustingly sweaty palms! And it's so rough! I think you're the animal here! You must've been used to crawling on all fours and eating dirt you rake!" You say with stuttering breaths and hiccups, wiping the upsetting tears with your nightgown.

You're never good at anything except for your unfiltered mouth and harsh insults. You may not have hurt him that much physically but you do hope it struck a nerve. Standing up from your position, you attempt to go back to the room quietly yet you felt a chilling tug on your gown.

Toji stood up from his feet and guided his own way to you through your gown "I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I-I just didn't want for someone to find us here-" "Why? Because we'd have to be wed? Don't be ridiculous. I'll never marry the likes of you."

You were about to walk away but this unnecessarily pertinacious man kept on clinging to you and your hand. "Let me go" Your voice had turned cold and Toji was conscience-stricken. He sometimes forgets the brute strength he has and ends up hurting others. Especially you in your small and delicate frame.

You felt your hand rising then the press of a soft, moist, flesh along with a rough patch. Your whole body freezes but your heart pounds rapidly from the familiar sensation. A hand kiss. Your mouth opens to protest but you could only give a small scoff. The audacity of this man to pull another trick on you.

"I can't. Say you forgive me first. (y/n). Say you forgive me, please."

But you are full of him and instead dragged his hand to you and made a powerful twist of his arm. Toji once again cried in pain, having the third injury of the night from you, a little lady who's now up and gone. He heard the hurried steps from the carpeted stairs, the wind brushing against your dress, and the crack of his arm as he moves the limb after a good fight.

Nefarious thoughts raced through his head: he could go and tell the servants of a certain savage girl who's to be banned in the estate forever — or he would go to their room and drag you out for a spar, seeing as you've given him a few pains. But at the same time, he was thinking of you going home tomorrow and ambushing your carriage to give you a little scare.

Oh, Toij would have his revenge, he would make you pay. "That little brat." He snarled and thought that he would give you a taste of your own medicine. But god...what pretty eyes you had. It turned a glowing color when you were angry. He remembered your bare shoulders: gold in the candlelight and smooth to the sight. He saw the mobile insolence of your neck, oh how he would love to sink his teeth into them just as you did to his palm.

And your taunt breasts steady in the fluid no fire or grace? You were truly an exquisite treat!

Toji shook his head and headed to his room, traversing the empty hallways, and suddenly realized that he had fallen madly in love with you. He ached intensely to see you again—at once—to touch your dainty hands and your soft hair; to hear your harsh voice. He burst open his windows and the beauty of the night struck him back like a blow.

It was May, it was summer, and he was young—young and crazily in love. Such happiness swelled within him that he could feel his chest was itchy. But he won't forgive you. He would make you pay, and have his revenge; Toji thought with a grin and glanced at his scarred palm. But what a night it had been, probably one of the most exciting nights that happened in his life.

"I will never forget this night. Mark my words you brat." He swore to the moon, amidst the breeze in his dark room; a sparkle in his eyes, his tousled hair, and his clenched fist. Toji finally felt something.

But, alas, the heart forgets; the heart is distracted; and May time passes; summer ends; the storms break over the rot—ripe orchards and the heart grows old; while the hours, the days, the months, and the years pile up and pile up, till the mind becomes too crowded. Too confused: dust gathers it; cobwebs multiply; the walls darken and fall into ruin and decay; the memory perishes...

And there came when Toji walked home through a May Day midnight without remembering, without even caring to remember; being merely concerned about going home across the street. His eyes had grown quite dim and his legs uncertain—for he grew old; he was over sixty; he was a very stooped and shriveled old man with white hair and moustaches, much like all the men in his family; much to his dismay.

He came from a secret meeting of businessmen; the walls of his mind echoing the speeches and his heart still beating as he made his way to the front door and inside the slumbering darkness of his house; wholly unconscious of the May night, till on his way down the hall, chancing to glance in the drawing room. He shuddered, he stopped, his blood ran cold—for he had seen a face in the mirror there—a ghostly candlelit face with tired eyes and dried lips. A face that was supposed to be long gone yet a different person.

He felt he had seen it before though it was a full minute before the last memory flowed, came tiding back, overflooding the actual moment and so swiftly washing away the piled hours that had gone by and transformed him into a young man again.

He just came from a glamorous country; he had been drinking all night; saw a beautiful face; offered her a drink; ran after her; passed out on the streets; drank every night; came home through the doorway; he saw a face in the dark; he cried out...and the pair standing before the mirror jumped in fright and almost dropped their candle, but looking around and seeing the old man, they sighed in relief and came running.

"Grandpa! You scared me!"

Toji turned pale. "So it was you little brats. And what are you doing here at this hour?" He questioned the twins, exchanging looks at the girl and the boy.

"Nothing, grandpa. I was only...uh..." "I told you this was ridiculous! You got us in trouble!" The young diva whined to her brother who could only scratch the back of his neck.

"Yes little miss, spit it out." The girl rolled her eyes and sighed, preparing herself for the scolding.

"It was just foolishness, Grandpa. They told my brother he would see his wife." His granddaughter stated and Toji wanted to smack his old arms into whoever planted that silly idea in that little head of his.

"Wife? You're too young to have a wife! What wife?" "Mine. The boys at school said I would see her if I looked in a mirror tonight and said:

Mirror, mirror Show to me Her whose lover I will be.

Toji threw a fit of laughter. He took the twins playfully by the ear, ignoring their whines as he sits them down on a couch, right by his sides.

"Put your candle on the table and let us talk this over. So you want a wife already? You want to see her in advance? But do you know that these are wicked games that prey on unknowing children who play them and see dangerous horrors?"

The boy shrugs. "Well, I was warned that I might see a witch instead."

"Exactly! A witch so terrifying you may die of fright. And she will bewitch you, bite you, steal your heart, and cook you for dinner!"

"Oh come now, Grandpa. We don't believe easily, no one believes in witches anymore." The girl counters his storytelling and Toji embarrassingly clears his throat, perhaps these kinds of scares don't work on the youth anymore.

"Hah, child. What if I tell you that I have seen a witch?" "You?! Where?"

"In the abandoned Zenin manor. But right in that mirror" said the old man, and his playful voice turned rough. The children glanced at the mirror quizzically as if looking for the witch that their grandpa just mentioned.

"When grandpa?"

"Not so long ago. When I was a lot older than you. I was such a drunkard and though I was feeling sick that night and merely wanted to lie down and pass away. I could not rest in peace of course without seeing the last expression on my face. But when I poked my head in the mirror, I saw..."

"The witch?" "Exactly!" "What did she do to you, grandpa?"

Toji tries to remember. "She bewitched me and tortured me. She clawed her fingers into my chest and broke my bones." The children held their breaths before gasping in distress. "Oh my! Such a horrible person! Why haven't you told us?"

His brows furrowed and quickly shook his head. "Horrible? god no, she was very beautiful! She was the loveliest sight I'd ever seen. Her eyes were somewhat like yours but her soft locks were a different shade. And her golden shoulders were bare! She was enchanting...but I should've known the dark and fatal creature she was."

A silence. Then: "What a horrid mirror this is, grandpa. We should throw it out." whispered the boy and Toji stood up in anger. He was suddenly ticked off and fuming, the thought of abandoning such a precious item was not to be done.

"What makes you say that!" The children were shocked by his sudden outburst but the girl quickly composed herself and supported her brother. "Well, you saw a witch in it. And papa told me that grandma once told him that she saw a devil in this mirror. Was it of the scare that grandma died?"

Toji stared into the mirror and his wrinkled face. For a moment he had forgotten that his wife was dead, that you were no longer in this world. Poor (y/n), you are at peace at last, your tired body at rest and no one will be able to disturb you.

Your youthful face and body shrunk down to a heap of white hair and bones in the end: a pitiful, crying old lady. Whipping out your cruel tongue, fiery eyes, blooming face—now gone and nothing. nowhere. Save a name on a stone, on the graveyard; nothing was left of the girl he cherished who burst so brightly in a mirror one wild May Day midnight, long, long ago.

Remembering how a few of your tears shone in the moonlight, how you twisted his arm and fled, and how he swore to the moon and surprised himself in the face of love.

Such grief overcame Toji and he felt ashamed before the twins; standing up and fumbling his way to the window, sweeping the curtains, and looked out—looked out on the peaceful neighborhood where the streetlights guided the path. A carriage stomped on the cobblestones while the dark birds flew and spread their wings—towards the lone, sinister estate in the west. The moon prowled above them, the night breeze hitting his face, sending the scent of summer to his nostrils and painting his sight with the unbearable Maytime memories of a distant love to the old man shaking with sobs by the window.

Toji figured it was a long time since he had cried, it was a long time since you had passed. His eyes try to familiarize the feeling but his heart knows the painful throbs all too well. His bitter sobs went heard as his tongue tasted the salty tears. His old back was beginning to strain from crying so hard but the dam won't seem to stop.

One hand pressed to his mouth, an old man drowning in his sorrows, the watchmen ringing the midnight bell, the clock strumming twelve.

Twelve. Midnight. Twelve.

"This is the twelfth time you told me that." "I just thought you would forget. You know that mirror is important to us." You pout and Toji sighs, bringing down the furniture to his feet and pulling you in his arms. Neither of you wanted anything to do with the Zenin estate, except for the marvelous mirror that you coveted.

"Do you need the elder's permission for that? Say it's our wedding gift. Or if they refuse, steal it." You instruct him with a straight face and Toji could only shake his head, pressing a kiss to your forehead before pinching your butt.

"I turned over a new page for you and you make me do bad things" He walks away to pick up the furniture outside and you rush after him, chasing after your dearest husband in happy steps, the glow of the orange sun shining brightly onto the new home. Blessing the home and blessing the owners.

And so, Toji buries your only regret in his heart, the regret of not living longer to see the blossoming family. Was it because you're a good person that you had gone ahead? And was it because his sins cannot be washed off that he had lived longer in this world, waiting for death to pick him up, yet it plays with him and refuses his desire.

He had lived longer to tell. To tell of what became of the witch in the mirror. They asked him what happened to the horrible creatures living inside the mirror. He said that the witch stole his heart but it came with a price, a price that benefitted him so much.

"She stole the devil's heart. And thus, she belonged to him and became the devil's witch"

#toji x reader #toji fluff #toji hcs #toji x reader fluff #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #jjk x reader #jjk x reader fluff #jjk imagines #jjk headcanons #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen

[peachy-pink-princess]

Little ways they show their love en-

Little ways of showing love with en-

I apologize this was not proof read

Enjoy and please do not take credit for my work

1.4k words

Heeseung:

♡ Singing to you: obviously you love his voice, how could you not! Whenever the two of you are alone if he notices you having trouble getting to sleep at night he will sing you to sleep. If he ever is trying to comfort you and your having trouble calming down he'll pull out his angelic voice and hope that it will help soothe you

♡ Making you breakfast: on the rare occasion the two of you get to have sleepovers Heeseung tries to be the greatest host possible, pillow/ blanket fort? check. Thousands of snacks and movies? Check. His politeness doesn't stop even in the morning. You'll wake up the the heavenly scent of pancakes, eggs, bacon, waffles and fresh fruit. Only the best for you!

♡ Spontaneous date plans: he can be a bit of a wild card. When he knows you've been busy all week he loves to take you away from all your stress and just give you a day to be spoiled.

Jay:

♡ Texting you frequently: Even on his most busy days Jay find a way to text you. Ask you if you've eaten, how you slept, what you wore for the day, if you need anything. Jay wants you to know he thinks and cares about you even if you aren't around him for him to show you

♡ Buying any little thing that reminds him of you: every place he goes to he takes something or buys you a little thing that reminds him of you! A plushie that reminds him of the one you described to him from your childhood, a bottle of his cologne that smells exactly like him

♡ Cooks with you: ( a/n: I cannot be the only one that finds him cooking so attractive-) anyways, if he sees you looking for recipes or anything to buy for dinner, he's gonna make it. Whenever he can he will, and not only that, he sets the table as if it were a five star restaurant. Everything needs to be perfect for you.

Jake:

♡ Lets you take care of Layla: it may not sound spectacular but to Jake seeing his two most important things in his life is beyond special. When he's on tour guess who's taking care of her? you. Obviously! He wants to make sure that he shows you he trusts you enough to be near the pet he loves with his whole heart.

♡ Hiding his things in your pockets: this goes a wide variety of ways. If Jake notices you're in a rush and may be forgetting something in the counter top, well then he'll make it his responsibility to sneak it into your bag or coat pocket. There's more than just that, little letters will be your surprise at least once a week. Small encouraging words like " you can do it!" Or " I love you, have a good day!" It's like a game to him he likes to hide them and see how long it takes you to find them!

♡ Giving you hoodies: sure it's something cliche but it's cute. He has the nicest hoodies. He always gets them bigger than his own size someone is on you it's like you're drowning in fabric. Jake finds that funny though, seeing the hoodie that fits him pretty well end right around your knees is simply comical ( and if you're taller than him, he adored seeing how your body was flattered by his clothes). But what Jake likes the most is how you always give him his hoodies back when his scent wears off, and then you take another one that still has his scent on it.

Sunghoon:

♡ Skate date: he is such a show off. Even though he already has your whole heart he wants to make sure that it stays that way. He starts acting like a school girl does when they see their crush- freaking out- so of course he wants to do everything to impress you. It also gives him an excuse to hold your hand and lead you while you both skate.

♡ Love letters: Hoon might struggle just a bit with his words. He loves you so much but when it comes to expressing it his best way is to write it down. For your first Valentine's day together he wrote you the most beautiful letter you had ever read.

♡ Food review nights: this is the Park Sunghoon we're talking about, he's a little bit fancy and high class. Especially when it comes to date night. He found an idea of of some blog ( idk why he littearly strikes me as the type to look up date ideas because he couldn't think of any) but basically the blog suggests that you should go to a new restaurant every time and see how it goes. It has become a routine for you and Hoon.

Sunoo:

♡ Does aegyo for you: he has the best aegyo around and he knows it duh ✋🙄 but you are the only person he'll do it for without being asked. He likes that it makes you laugh, he doesn't care if you laugh because you think it's cringy or not-

♡ Helps you pick your outfit: Sunoo would never control what you wear but if you need advice or don't know what to add to an outfit you're definitely in luck with this boy. He knows what shoes, necklace, jacket, littearly anything you need that would go with your outfit. He likes to add new clothes to your wardrobe or even suggest you wear more of his clothes.

♡ Disney movie night: after a stressful week this is what you look forward too. A ton of blankets, popcorn, kisses, Disney movies, and best of all a goggly Sunoo! Each week the two of you bicker about which movie to watch but in the end he always lets you pick. Even if the two of you end up watching the same movie a million times it doesn't matter because every time with Sunoo it's a new experience

Jungwon

♡ Offers to help with school work: even when he does not completely understand the subject he definitely doesn't enjoy watching his significant other struggling with homework. Jungwon will pull a chair up right on the side of you and take a look at what you're working on. Surprisingly, a lot of the times he understands what you're doing and his instructions are very helpful. And every time that you get a problem right you're rewarded by a kiss ❤️

♡ Cactus activities: R.I.P. injang the cactus. On the other hand though this activity is definitely nothing that anybody else could come up with besides from him! If that's why he likes doing it so much it's not what every basic couple does. It is reserved for only the two of you!

♡ Picnics: The nature is very peaceful for Jungwon, so he likes to share his method of relaxation with you, hence whole every once and a while when the weather is nice he'll pack up a cute little picnic basket and take you to a park by the river. You both sit under the same tree every time you go, because it allows the perfect view of the beautiful water, but there is something much prettier Jungwon stares at...you~

Niki:

♡ Dance with you: Regardless of you can dance of not Niki expects you to dance with him. I think he'd enjoy a significant other who didn't know how to dance, it would give him a sense of pride when you get easily impressed by the little dance moves or the way you blush when he touches you trying to lead your body to dance along with his.

♡ Makes you playlists: He's actually a very good listener, of he is with you and you're listening to the radio when a song comes on and you say " oh I love this song!" Guess what? Niki is writing it down, and adding it to a playlist called " for my darling " so you'd definitely be surprised when the next time you hang out he plays all the songs you adore

♡ Offers to do your hair: okay okay he might not be able to do your hair that well - but the sweet part is that he offers! If you are straightening or curling your hair and you can't reach your section in the back he will definitely do it for you! He's going to be incredibly careful as well he doesn't want to hurt you or himself! If you let him he'll even attempt to do a braid!

I'm sorry it took me so long to release this I hope you all enjoyed it

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