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#i cant believe i survived the interview
foxcassius · 1 year
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okay so i put the cash i have left in japan in front of me and stared at it and i think i will be okay so long as sending my suitcases does not cost MORE than ¥12,000. i have to put ¥10,000 back in my bank account for fucking docomo, i need another ¥10,000 to pay for trains to the goddamn airport because transportation in japan is not anywhere near as cheap as the internet would lead you to believe, then the ¥12,000 for having the suitcases taken to my airbnb and i'll have ¥5,000 left to. eat at all until i leave the country. and when i check my second bag i will simply have to use my american debit card bc thats All i have here 👍
#again. i hate altia. i cannot believe that 9 months of work netted me 0 dollars and 0 cents in savings and i didnt even GO anywhere.#i literally have spent the last 9 months in okayama prefecture and osaka. osaka for a TOTAL of like 40 hours around flights.#yeah i went to korea twice but MY BOYFRIEND paid for those flights. you know what i paid for? japanese trains to the aiport.#which cost as much as the flights.#i hate altia. shit ass wage for real. i dont even know how the little fresh out of collegers do it.#like i have no money. i dont spend on stuff. i didnt buy my niche fashion or whatever. i LEFT my expensive niche fashion. i solf#*sold items from my expensive niche fashion. i have barely survived.#i dont know how Anyone does it i genuinely think i must be stupid i must be ass with money or something#my '''¥240 000''' paycheck was at ¥140 000 or less by the time it hit my bank account after altia was done skimming it for themselves#and then paying for gas in THEIR car to go to my job i do FOR THEM and CRAZY EXPENSIVE utilities in the apartment THEY PUT ME IN#would always have me down to like ¥80 000 in a good month to like eat and enjoy myself with?#but i also did have to send money home because japanese bank accounts are miserable and you cant use them for anything#so i'm eating off of ¥1 000 per day for breakfast and my homemade bento lunches AND dinner#and then when i was lucky i would go to okayama city and have one nice meal with my friends on the weekend#but going to the city costs fucking ¥2 000 so is it worth it?#i dont think this is a good job and genuinely i dont even think the fresh graduates should be doing it#if you want to delay your future this is the job for you. altia misleads you on their website and gives you half-truths in interviews.#dont work there.#t
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princessamericachavez · 11 months
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My thoughts about the Ted Lasso finale (no particular order)
The end montage was obviously Ted’s dream for the future and not even subtly so jot that down
Actually just gonna add that this is the show’s way of telling us the potential these characters have and what Ted wishes for them but without his presence it’s up to them now
Roy mouthing alone to Goodbye, Farewell broke me because he’s clearly the one who put together the choreography
Also Dani singing? My most beloved
Jaime and Roy clashing one last time might have pissed some people off but this was always a rock in their shoe that they needed to address and we see that their relationship can and will survive it
I like Rebecca’s romcom ending even if I wanted her to end with Ted.
Ted going back to his son was necessary and the whole point. He always blamed his father for abandoning them. When he came to Richmond he was all but running away from his family in hopes things would magically fix themselves. Instead, he put in the work and healed. But his biggest triggers were always connected to him missing his son’s life. In the end, Ted’s growth was the point so he could go back to them and be the best version of himself for them and for himself.
Ted not talking while Rebecca rambles was actually perfect. Old bitter Rebecca would’ve never opened up like that. But old Ted would’ve also rushed to reassure her or try to make a joke or cheer her up. This time, Ted lets her speak and then sticks to his guns, even if the truth is uncomfortable for others. He allows himself to do this for himself and not to please others.
Beard staying for Jane was foreseeable given the toxic codependent nature of their relationship. Happy perfect endings don’t exist. His story is still developing.
Furthermore, the real growth came from Beard letting himself choose something regardless of what Ted is doing and breaking himself free from a cycle of guilt and feeling in debt.
I know it was in the dream but god I hope Roy gets therapy. We did see the roots of him wanting to change and be better and accept the help he needs so he’s in the right path.
Keeley/Roy/Jamie is still endgame in my heart. Eventually. Once all three are in the right place.
The himbos singing made me cry. A lot.
Even if it was in the dream, if Jamie actually chose to reconnect to his dad somehow I think it wouldn’t be the end of the world. He would get to do it on his terms and only because he chose to have him in his life to some degree. Which might simply be being civil and talking from time to time, so long as his father keeps putting in the work to better himself and takes steps to make amends and apologize and acknowledge all his wrongs. Who knows. It’s an open ending.
Loved everything about the match.
Glad Van Damme got closure from Rani Dojas and that Dani acknowledged his part in what happened and tried to make amends.
CANT believe they made me feel sorry for George.
The cold open was a tease but I loved to see what could’ve been (and who says Ted and Rebecca didn’t find each other while running away from all that noise and one thing less t another…)
I wish we’d seen Sam’s restaurant and his cute chef one last time.
Actually wish we’d had a little bit of all the other himbos.
And finally
Finally
I… don’t think it was the series’s finale. I don’t know. I might be wrong but lately all interviews from the cast suggest deep down they hope something else will come and maybe they’ll be like “you know what, this story isn’t over” or something.
That last scene and the musical cue with Ted’s final shot felt so dissonant to me. Like there’s something still unfinished there.
I, like Roy Kent, have all my fingers crossed.
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clatoera · 5 months
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Always Remember We're Burned For Better Epilogue: I Vow I Will Always Be Yours, For We Survived the Great War
Here we are. The end of an era. I have..so much to say.
First of all..if you do not like the canon epilogue you will not like this. If you do not like the choices Katniss makes you will not make the choices they make.
Secondly...This fic took me exactly forty weeks to write. That is intentional, as forty weeks is the length of an average pregnancy is forty weeks. This is my baby. You have all travelled with me from the middle of my third year until the middle of my residency interview season. I hope you will continue to follow for what comes next, but this is my baby. Today I release her into the world for the last time, and I am incredibly sad about it. Thank you for loving her with me.
Third.. I hope along this journey you have grown to empathize with the four careers of the first Hunger Games Book. I hope you see them as the children they were, I hope you have even grown to care about them. I am a careers apologist (one of the OGs thank you very much) and I hope you have all opened your hearts to them, as well.
Finally.. thank you. I will never be able to thank you all enough for your endless support and comments and likes and reblogs and asks. Thank you to you all. I of course want to give shoutouts as usual. There are so many people beyond this list. Who I don't know well, or I don't talk to enough to want to bother them with a tag (like you @dukeysquid I dont want to bother you). But you are ALL seen. You are all loved.
I cant give one to the og, who has to keep her socials clean, but you know who you are. You are the first person I ever told about this fic, and have been around for allll the changes. Thank you friend.
@mollywog a TRUE og who has stuck around even though this fic is far far from her usual andher cup of tea. She's a real one. I love her. I thank you, friend.
@cyansadness another OG friend. I don't even know what you're into these days..but thank you for listening to the earlier iterations.
@bodyelectric77 a NEW friend, who has given me such insight on Enobaria and the older careers. Thank you for taking a chance on this fic which is not in your usual wheelhouse.
@crookedlyniceperson I am so sad for my last set of memes, but so thankful for the memes that brought us together. Thank you, and I cannot believe the insane AU in our DMs that I'm going to bring up after this immediately in the DMs. Thank you.
@clarascrabarmy ANOTHER OG who I always feel like i'm bothering, but I could COUNT ON YOU to read these when I was dropping them at 4 am when I was on night shift. I love you, and I thank you.
@lwveless my little college baby I dont know if you're even around but I wanted to give you love for loving Marvel with me.
@kentwells a TRUE BACKBONE of this fic. A sounding board of all my insanity. I want you ALL to know that the outcome of Glimmer and Marvel (Namely them not being back together) is entirely her fault <3 It was her idea and it is her fault. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Ultimately, I cannot thank @ohhowwehavefallen enough. In the last nine months you have become one of my legitimate besties. You have supported me here and in my actual life beyond anything I can put into words here. Our constant, non stop Clato aus and talks literally keep me going on my bad days. I love you. I thank you. And of NOTE: She is entirely responsible for the wedding rites of District Two. I struggled so much creating them, it took me forever to figure out and I owe the answer to you. I owe this fic to you. I love you. Thank you bestie.
Fun facts:
The kids at the end are not named because it is hard to name them but I have ideas <3
There are jokes for most of my friends here
The sequel is called Picket Fences, Sharp as Knives (High Infidelity, Taylor Swift)
Alright.
AO3
tumblr masterpost
Title from The Great War, Taylor Swift.
The End.
Thirteen months after the end of the war
“Clove, stand still.”  Glimmer clicks her tongue, hands tugging tighter the fabric at the small of Clove’s back for emphasis. “If you fidget I can’t get these buttons. I don’t know what I was thinking when I added them, knowing Cato’s probably just going to rip them off like a heathen–”
“Oh no he won’t, Glimmer, you have no idea how much he’s going to love it.” Clove assured, taking in the length of her body in the mirror. It was the first time she had seen the dress too, and unsurprisingly Glimmer did far surpass any expectation she had. “You missed your calling with design, seriously, this is insane. You made this?”
The ivory crepe fabric was fit like a second skin through her thighs, where it fell freely to the floor, even fanning out a little behind her. The trail end of the train had little windows of lace, with the entire trim a continuous border of hand placed lace appliqués. The top of the dress was similarly overlain with lace, a few pieces trailing up at her hips before coming to cover the entire top half of the dress. The thin v-shaped straps were made of the intentionally placed lace, and though the entire back of the dress was open from the middle of her back upwards, a couple appliqués seem to float along the top of the fabric. Even the open sides are overlapped with the ivory design. The most unexpected aspect may be the deep cut of the sweetheart neckline, and the large strip of open skin from her neck to midway down her sternum.
“Of course I made it Clove! It’s just for you! I even used the lace from that dress, like you wanted. I was worried I didn’t have enough but with the open neckline I made it work.” Glimmer hooks the last button with the use of her littlest finger nail, pushes herself to standing. “It’s going to be the only wedding dress I ever make, though. It’s an honor but I was so afraid of messing it up. Besides…everyone else is dead, already married, or not going to be.” 
Clove turns to the side, catching the back of the dress in the mirror so she can fully appreciate it. She could not, no matter even if she wanted, wipe the smile that stretched across her face. “I know you think the deep plunge is a lot, but I don’t want to ruin it with blood–”
“I know, I know, you District Two freaks have a fucking blood ritual.” Glimmer bristles, taking her hand to wipe at Clove’s side, to swipe away some of the golden glitter from her own dress that transferred in the hustle and bustle of getting dressed. “You know in District One we just exchange jewelry like normal people.”
“We do that too.” Clove teases, bringing her left hand up to wiggle her fingers in front of Glimmer’s face. There was certainly no lack of the jewelry aspect either, with a flashy, oval shaped diamond with the equally shining gold band that had come to live on Clove’s left hand. “And it’s not a District Two tradition, Glimmer, it’s a District Two Victor tradition. We are the only ones that are left– we’re also the only two victors who have ever married each other. We have to do it.”
Glimmer grabs at Clove’s left hand, running her thumb over the diamond with a reverence only a girl from One, especially one with no marriage prospects of her own, would manage. “I just want to know how he got it. The diamond mines in one have been closed from the war, this should be impossible to get. I’ll never get my hands on one of these, and my cousin worked in gemstone acquisition. I should theoretically have a whole closet full.”  
If she can smile any bigger, she somehow manages. Clove twists at the ring on her finger, exceptionally excited to add another band underneath in just a short hour. “He’s had it for years. From before the war, back before the Quarter Quell....he had it since the seventy fourth games.” 
“I don’t think anyone loves anyone else more than he loves you.” There is a wistful edge to her voice that Glimmer tries her best to tamper, though the loss of love still does not sting any less even now, almost exactly one year after the end of the war. “It’s extraordinary.” 
Clove grabs Glimmer by her wrists, wrapping the woman’s arms around her waist so they were half hugging, still facing the mirror. Glimmer rests her chin on top of Clove’s shoulder, careful not to disrupt the soft, free flowing curls that were still cooling at her shoulders. “Thank you, Glimmer.” 
Clove takes a moment to soak in Glimmer, too. She would have laughed, and maybe stabbed, anyone who told her two or three years ago that Glimmer Belcourt from District One would be standing here getting her ready for her wedding. And yet, here she was. 
Looking at their reflection in the mirror she could see there was finally a little bit more to Glimmer, far more like the girl she met in the capitol, and not like the starved skeleton of a girl she found in district thirteen. Her hair was perfectly curled and incredibly shiny. Her skin had the healthiest, most intrinsic glow to it, with the most beautiful pink flush in her cheeks. Even the gold shimmery ball gown– yes, ball gown– that she wore only added to the warm tones in her skin. Oh Glimmer, how she did indeed shine once again. 
“Glimmer? Why did you pick a glittery ball gown for a wedding in my backyard?” Clove raises a dark eyebrow, craning her neck to make eye contact with Glimmer directly rather than with their reflections. “It is summer, isn’t all that tulle going to weight you down.”
Glimmer cracks a smile– a genuine, gorgeous smile that Clove had not seen since a time before the war, a time before Glimmer’s heart was broken, a time long ago on a rooftop in the capitol– and gives half a shrug. “I don’t think I'm going to get many opportunities after this. I always wanted to wear one.”  She steps back, giving a little spin for Clove to truly appreciate her hard work on her own dress. It was solid gold, glitter covering every spot of the tulle underneath. The dress sat just off her shoulder like a princess, and truthfully the dress moved around her like something of a fairy tale. “Cash always got to wear big princess dresses in her interviews and parties and stuff after she won. I was so jealous, and when I won I was so so excited to get my turn. Cash was always in pink and I was hoping I’d get the same..they skipped the ballgown stage with me and went right to the– yeah. I just…always wanted to wear one. They never let me be pretty, it was always sexy and sultry and glamorous. I just wanted to be pretty.  And today is my last chance… Thank you, Clove. For letting me have this.”
Clove’s hand slips down to grab Glimmer’s and gives the softest squeeze. “You look so, so pretty. You look beautiful.” 
“You look beautiful, Clove. Thank you for letting me be part of this. Even though I am your only friend–” Glimmer teases, smile never leaving her face, revealing that it is truly just a joke.
“Oh way to ruin me trying to be nice,” Clove taunts, but turns to face the mirror once again. “Thank you, too, Glimmer. For all of it. The dress. Being here. Buttoning me in.”
“Of course! Now, I think I'm about done…oh! Do you need lipstick, I know you’ll just get it all over him, but–”
“Blood ritual, Glimmer.”
“Right. Freaks. Okay!” Glimmer reaches down to fan Clove’s dress out behind her, gently running her hand over Clove’s bare arm. “Okay. You look beautiful. Enobaria should be in soon to do your hair… I’ll see you out there.” She pauses, taking a moment to appreciate her months of hard work, finally coming to a head on Clove’s body. She lets out a content little sigh, approving of her work, approving of the little victor girl in front of her. “I’m just… really really happy for you, Clove.” She squeezes her arm one last time before slipping out the door, a flurry of gold and glitter.
Clove takes her final moment alone to look at herself in the mirror. She looks more adult than she ever has in her entire life, in a tight white dress, long dark curls free around her shoulders. It is different than any other time she has been dressed like this in her life. There is no Capitol makeup obscuring her freckles, no intricate twists and pins in her hair.  Notably, of course, are the faded scars along her shoulders, elbows, wrists. In a different world her scars would be wiped away, her skin unblemished and holding no evidence of the horrors she endured. Now her skin bears the proof of her survival. 
She had begged Glimmer to give her sleeves to cover them. Glimmer in return had insisted there just wasn’t enough lace for sleeves, and even if it were untrue, maybe now Clove could see that she was right to deny her request. 
Her moment alone is only brief, when the bedroom door in her usually untouched Victor’s Village house flies open again. This time, another blonde flurry of tulle rushes in, this one only half the size of the last. 
Cora rushes in, in her little white dress. It’s gorgeous, too, with layers and layers of tulle with beautiful hand beading on the edges that make her look like she wears snow covered rose petals. Glimmer clearly spent excessive time on this dress, too.
“What else am I going to do with my time?” Glimmer had asked when Clove insisted she didn’t need to go to all these lengths for them. 
Clove turns from the mirror to look at her sister in law, and with the girl’s ever increasing height she doesn't even need to kneel to hug her any longer.  “Oh you look like a princess, Cora.” She pulls her into her arms, leaning down to kiss the top of her perfect, ringlet curls. “An absolute princess.” She does crouch down just a little, holding Cora’s angelic little face in either of her hands to look at her from eye level. 
“Cato’s jeeeeealous I get to see you and he can’t.” Cora gives her a mischievous smile, one that Clove had seen on Cato hundreds of times and hopefully would see hundreds more. “You look soooo pretty Clove..” Cora reaches her hand out and gently touches the lace on Clove’s hip. “This is so sparkly.”
Clove puts her hand on top of Cora’s, squeezing so gently. “Glimmer really knows what she’s doing, huh?” 
At the mention of the blonde woman Cora somehow lights up even more. When Cora met Glimmer it was like the stars aligned for them both. Glimmer, who needed to see this beautiful little girl grow up safe, loved, and far from the grasp of the games and the capitol and Snow’s best clients. Cora, who thinks she has a real life princess in her family, to teach her all the things Clove never got to learn as an orphan girl. “She has a pretty princess dress, too, Clove.”
“You should tell her that, she’ll love to hear it.” Clove straightened herself, afraid to wrinkle the tight fabric of her gown. “Thank you for coming over to see me, since everyone’s probably having so much fun over with Cato.”
Cora gives a little half shrug, bouncing forward onto her toes before rocking back onto her little mary jane heels. “Marvel is lying on the couch saying he’s sick, and he won’t get up. Finnick is telling him to rally.. What does ‘rally’ mean, Clove?”
Clove’s eyes go wide, and she would not be shocked if alarm is written on her face. That is not something she was anticipating explaining to Cora for at least seven or eight more years. “You know, you should ask Cato when you go back, that sounds like a boy thing.” 
The little girl accepts that answer, and nods enthusiastically. “Okay! Oh! Clove! I have a present for you!”
“A present for me?” Clove kneels down to her height again, disregarding the fear over wrinkles and creases in the fabric. There was so much more in life than the perfect press of a dress. “That's so sweet, Cora, you didn’t have to do that–”
“It’s yours though!” Cora digs into the little pocket of her dress, fishing out a little silver pile that she holds out in the palm of her hand towards Clove. “You told me to keep it safe, see? Do you wanna wear it?”
It takes all in Clove not to grab the necklace out of her hand, to snatch it and keep it safe as soon as she recognizes what it is. She doesn’t have to, because Cora unclips it for her and gestures like she wants to secure it around her neck for her. With a nod, Clove pulls her hair out of the way, and blinks hard, willing away tears that would otherwise ruin the minimal makeup she was amenable to wearing. Clove runs the tip of her fingers over the script C, the sterling silver chain tarnished and worn, emblematic of over twenty years of wear. 
Clove pulls her in, both hands around her little shoulders as her hand comes to cradle the back of her head. “Thank you, Cora Jade. Thank you so much for keeping it safe for me.” She kisses the side of her temple as the door flies open once again. 
“Clove lets get this- oh! Cora. Cato is looking for you.” Enobaria warns before she steps into the room. “Something about getting to sample the cookies–”
“Bye Clove!” 
The little girl nearly runs out the door and out the door before Clove can process it, and she is left staring at the doorway where Enobaria enters.
“God damn, look at you Enobaria” Clove calls out, pursing her lips and looking her mentor up and down. Enobaria rolls her eyes but leans on the door frame. She’s opted for a well tailored black velvet suit, except that her skin is completely bare underneath the jacket that is held together with a single gold button. Her natural curls frame her face, tamed only by the gold victor’s crown around the center of her forehead. “You look hot.”
“Yeah, well, were you expecting me to be in a ballgown like Glitter, she looks ridiculous. I didn’t know we were playing dress up today.” Enobaria flashes her a coy grin, a grin that is no longer serrated like a shark, but restored to her natural, blunt smile after the war. No need to upkeep a defense when the threat is eliminated. 
“Oh be nice, she feels pretty, Baria. Let her feel pretty.” Clove warns, holding her hands out to take the bundle of flowers that Enobaria brings her in her left hand. “And it’s Glimmer, You really should know her name if you’re going to continue to sleep with her sister.”
“Chill, I know her name. And I'm kidding, I had to talk Cash out of feathers this morning. You’re welcome.” Enobaria’s eyes roam from her toes to the tip of her head and she gives just the slightest nod of approval. “You look like such a grown up.”
“I’ve been an adult for a minute, Baria.” Clove reminds her, but does turn her head to catch her appearance in the mirror once again. She feels almost vain for the way she keeps looking at herself, but if there is ever a moment to feel that, it’s now. “I feel like I wore a lot of dresses on the tour that showed a lot of skin, too-”
“And you were a child, then. A little girl playing dress up, even if you didn’t think so. Now, you look like such a woman. You are just beautiful” Enobaria comes behind Clove, and brushes her hair back off of her lace capped shoulders. She looks at their shared reflection a little longer, and Enobaria can’t help but imagine Clove’s mother would have looked all the same. 
“Noone uses that word very often for me, but you all keep saying it today.” Clove shifts the flowers in her hands– she isn’t entirely sure what they are but they are red and white and there is no rose in sight– and swallows her pride as she locks eyes with Enobaria. “You told me I was going to thank you, one day. Back when you told me you were pulling us from the same games. You said I’d thank you one day, and I guess that day is today. Thank you. For not letting us kill each other, or die together. Thank you for keeping me alive my entire life. In so many ways, I wouldn’t be here right now, if you hadn’t been there.” 
“Keep telling me I'm right, I like to hear you admit it.” Enobaria teases, but gently squeezes both of her arms. “I’m proud of you, Clove. Do I wish it were literally anyone but Cato, yes, but I'm still proud of you.” Before Clove can refute, she turns her away from the mirror and to face her. “I’m kidding. I’m not kidding about the fact that we all know you should have chosen something other than white to wear considering what you did on national television–”
“Enobaria!”
“I’m proud of you. I mean it. Now. Lift your chin.” Enobaria nudges the tip of her chin up with her knuckle, before reaching to lift the golden band of metal from inside her suit pocket. 
She centers Clove’s head, before gently and intentionally placing her well earned Victor’s crown along the top of her head. Once it is settled she pulls her loose curls to the front, untucking pieces from behind her ear. Once she is happy, she places her hands on Clove’s shoulders and twists her to face the mirror. “There. You’re ready. The last Victor of District Two..”
It had been a debate, how many of the traditions to follow. District Two had enough Victors that they had their own marriage traditions. It was questionable, if in a world without games did it really make sense to wear the crowns and say the lines? Ultimately they decided, yes. Because before they were here, before they were considered rebels, before they were even victors…they were partners. Partners who gave their entire lives to end up here. 
“Thank you.” Clove emphasizes again, nodding at herself in the mirror. The dress, the flowers, the crown… he’ll love it. “I think i’m ready.”
“Perfect. I’ll see you down there then. If you change your mind just say the word, we can sneak out the front.” Enobaria promises, stepping back, giving her one final look over before turning to leave. “Good luck.”
“Wait!” Clove freezes, suddenly overly aware of the pounding in her chest, the deafening sound of her own heartbeat in her ears. She has not done any of this alone, and she will not start now. “Will you walk with me?”
Enobaria pauses, and cocks her head as if she’s debating it before cracking a smile and holding out her hand. “Thought you’d never ask, kid”
Clove is unsure if she blacks out in the following moments or if time skips on her, but the next thing she knows is she is on the other end of a short aisle from Cato. 
Cato. Identical crown on his head, perfectly tailored black tuxedo clinging in all the right ways. She notices the white button down underneath is unbuttoned most of the way down his chest, and if she weren’t so aware of the blood pounding in her ears she’d make fun of him for it. 
She wants to kiss that absolutely infuriating smirk off his face, and she’s about to. When Clove looks up and catches his eyes with her own she is sure her heart stopped. She’s vaguely aware of Enobaria to her right, holding her arm and guiding her the twenty or so steps, but all Clove really can recognize is him.
She doesn’t absorb their friends line either side of the short aisle, in perfectly floral lined chairs. Johanna making a face, or Annie and Finnick waving with their baby. She doesn’t notice that Glimmer is sitting directly beside Marvel, her dress acting practically as a blanket over Marvel’s hands. Cashmere and Gloss are there, somewhere amongst the florals. She does not notice Cato’s mother in the front or little Cora in her lap. There are others– kids they went to the academy with, friends of his parents– but none of them matter, not now. 
All Clove knows is that the second she’s in reach of him, he grabs her by the forearms and pulls her into a burning, heated kiss with a hand on her face. Clove half heartedly tosses the flowers in her hands in the general direction of Glimmer, and grabs firmly on the unbuttoned edges of his shirt to pull him into her. 
“Hey! Not yet.” Brutus interrupts from his place at the head of the altar and the laughs of their friends pull them out of their locked embrace. 
Even when they pull away, his hands are still on her hips, holding her flush against him. “Hi.” He whispers, a boyish smile spread across his face, a joy in his eyes that she isn’t sure she’s ever seen. 
“Hi.” Clove whispers back, a heat in her face that she is all too aware of as she catches the way his eyes are trailing down the front of her dress and her body. 
Brutus must repeat himself once or twice before finally reaching out and breaking the reverie in which they stare at each other by nudging Cato’s shoulder. 
“For the third time…” He starts, and the distinct howling laugh of Johanna firmly plants them in reality. “I never thought I would be officiating a backyard victor wedding a year after a war ended the Hunger Games.” Brutus explains, before giving a jerk of his head to signal Clove to take a step back away from Cato, who is still holding her body against his. She obliges begrudgingly, knowing the moments they have left apart are counting down by the second. 
As Brutus begins to read from a long book of District Two traditions, Clove feels Cato tighten his grip on both of her hands. “You look incredible.” He mouths, and Clove can’t help but feel the blush rising to her face again.
“Like the lace?” She mouths in response, and sees the recognition fall over his face as his features soften just enough for Clove and Clove alone to notice.  
“Like I was saying.” Brutus raises his voice, once again snapping the two of them back into the moment beyond just themselves. “ In District Two, we are not known for verbal displays of love. We do not have deep professions of love through vows. This tradition is rooted deep in the history of District Two Victors. We are raised and trained in bloodshed. We are also aware of the vulnerability of allowing someone to raise a weapon against us, and trust them so entirely not to cut too deeply. This is particularly special for these two, for many many reasons. As all of us know, they are the only two District Two Victors to marry each other, and they will be the only ones to ever do so. What is most special, of course, is that these two were raised to be partners. I remember the day we paired them up, this giant monster of a boy and this feisty, scary little girl. They hated each other and then when they didn’t hate each other was when it became a problem for Enobaria, myself, and the other trainers. We made them too good of partners, because here we are today. What you’re about to witness is the blood oath of Victors. It is tradition to use their weapon of choice. Cato, will be first.”
Their hands fall as Enobaria comes and first, places the hilt of a sword in his hand, before slipping the handle of a knife into hers. Vaguely, Clove can hear Glimmer go “oh my god an actual blood ritual’ from her place in the front row of chairs, followed by a whispered “fuck I hate blood” immediately after from Marvel. 
Clove takes a step back, making room for the duration of the silver blade of the sword between them, and tilts her chin up to give him space. She does not flinch when the sharp tip slices through the top layer of her skin overlying her heart, she does not unlock her eyes from his when she feels the sticky warmth of blood pooling and dripping down the front of her chest. It’s not deep, but it’s enough to sting. Her eyes are locked on his, never once breaking when she feels his thumb wiping through the blood on her chest.  She feels like prey and a prize at the same time, with the dark look in his eyes locked on her. He breaks their locked gaze to look down at her hand, where he slides a solid gold ring onto her left hand, resting securely above the diamond she already wears. 
She does not even wait for instruction that she is next. She steps forward and the knife in her hand closes the space between them, and Clove cannot help but flick her wrist into the shape of a C as she slices into the skin directly over his heart. She hesitates, for only a moment, watching the blood run down the plane of his chest, before she too runs her thumb over the blood. Clove cannot get her hands to work fast enough as she grabs his left hand in both of hers, and works as fast as she can to get the gold band on his hand, to claim him as hers, hers, hers forever. 
Brutus is talking again, but it doesn’t matter. He’s got her by the waist, and she’s holding his face in her hands. She brings her bloodied thumb to his lips, smearing his own blood along his lower lip as he does the same to her. 
“I love you.” He whispers first, pressing his forehead against hers, pulling her body against his, taking careful care to only touch the bare skin of her back with his bloodied finger, not daring to stain the lace she wears. 
“I love you.” Clove responds, and is somewhat aware of Brutus in the background formally announcing them as married in the rites of victors. Cato Hadley and his wife Clove Kentwell Hadley.
 Her thumb hovers over his lip, before she threads her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. “You’re my partner.”
“You’re mine.” Is all Cato gets out in response before he crushes his lips into hers. 
The taste of blood and each other is familiar and enchanting and all exciting all at once. 
It tastes like victory. 
Pictures, dinner, all of it passes in a blur. 
It’s nearly night now, and drinks are long past flowing. Cato’s mother has taken Cora to Clove’s house for the night, allowing the adult behavior to come out in full force. 
Clove is pressed into his side, his arm around her hips, hand firmly grasping the top of her thigh, when the sun starts to go down and Marvel makes a point to gather everyone’s attention.  
“Hey guys, you all unfortunately know who I am. Noone asked me to speak, in fact Cato explicitly begged me not to this morning, and Clove threatened that if I did she’d cut off my-”
“Anyway!’ Glimmer interrupts, taking the champagne glass from his hand and holding it at her side and out of his reach. “I also was told not to do this. But I planned this whole thing, and so I think I can say whatever I want. Besides, you owe us this, because we did keep watch while the two of you fucked in the middle of the Hunger Games. Also, the world was convinced for a little while that all four of us were-”
Marvel interrupts before she can continue to ramble on.“Originally, we were going to do this separately. I was going to talk about Cato, she was going to talk about Clove. I’m sure no one's expecting Glimmer and I to be doing this together..this is quite literally as close as we’ve physically been to each other in months.” Marvel begins, and turns his attention directly to Cato and Clove. 
“What are they doing?” Clove gets out through clenched teeth, pseudo-rage flashing in her eyes. Maybe it was the drinks, maybe it was the pure joy she felt, but she couldn’t find it in her to actually be angry with them. 
“Embarrassing themselves.” Cato pulls her closer, and leans them back in their chairs. “What's the worst they could say?”
“Noone expected us to be friends! We all could have so easily ended up in the same games, all of us dead.” Glimmer begins, a giggle escaping her that had Clove not been with her all day, she would have assumed to have been nervous. But no, that was the giggle of a drunk girl, who had been drinking mimosas since sunrise, that is about to recount something horrendous. “But by all accounts..things worked out for us. The stars aligned, fate stepped in..whatever you want to say. And I know Clove didn’t like me the day I met her. I can’t blame her, I looked at her and said we should have a double wedding and look where we are! They’re married and me and Marvel here can’t look at each other for more than five minutes without one of us leaving in tears–”
“He was drunk crying about her this morning. He had three shots and went down, going on and on about how he threw away the love of his life.” Cato leans over to whisper to his wife, who whips her head over to look at him with wide, amused eyes. “Finnick was literally holding his head in his lap like..stroking his hair. It wasn’t even eight a.m. yet.”
“I heard about that… You need to teach your seven year old sister what rally means, by the way.” Clove admits, poking him in the knee playfully. 
“Well one of us wasn’t stupid enough to throw away the best thing we’d ever have.” Marvel gets out, and Clove gasps so loudly at his repetition of the words Cato just whispered that everyone whips their head around to look at her this time. “Anyway! Clove also found me exceptionally annoying, and it’s okay, everyone does!”
“But what Clove has never heard about, is this story. We met Cato during his tour, of course, and he was this cocky kid. We thought he was just a standard District Two victor, nothing special.” Glimmer goes on, this time bringing the glass she confiscated from Marvel to her own lips and draining it. Clearly, the slip from Marvel left her flustered, too. “But, then it was the seventy third games. And Cato would not shut up about how good this girl was. He never looked away from her on screen. He stole all the sponsors talking about how incredible she was. He thought he was being so nonchalant and sly about it…but we all knew.”
“And I remember getting a knock on my door in the middle of the night. It was Glimmer, but I was positive it was someone saying Clove died and that Cato was coming to kill us all. Because I knew, if Clove had died, every single one of us, our tributes, and anyone else he could get his hands on, we're going to be dead.”
“And then it was down to the final few. I remember him sitting on that on that couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands together so so nervous. And she threw this knife and she missed and I saw the color drain from his face. The fear in his eyes when he thought you were going to die, Clove, I wish I could say that was the only time I had ever seen it.” Glimmer shakes her head, the curls in her hair starting to slowly fall and frizz around her face like a little halo. “But then she won. And most of us were there when it happened, most of us remember the way he jumped up. And Clove, without thinking, he pumped his fist in the air and he said “that's my girl.” And we had all known. But the look on his face..I’ll never forget it. That boy was so deeply in love, and today I am so sure he still is.” 
Marvel clears his throat, and it is clear from the way his face drops that there is a serious turn about to be taken. “I mentioned that we were originally going to speak only for one of them. But, it is a disservice to the way they love each other to do that. I went through the worst experience of my entire life with Clove, in the capitol, and Glimmer similarly can speak for what she went through with Cato. We’re so uniquely privileged to have seen the way you both love each other so deeply. Most of you know, or unfortunately were part of, the horrific things we went through in the Capitol. Clove…she had it worse than maybe anyone. We all know that Clove is incredibly stubborn, and incredibly strong. What I am unfortunately aware of, myself, is the extent of what was done to her. It is not my story to tell. But I know that all those fuckers wanted was to get her to scream, and she refused. She wasn’t going to give them that. The only thing Clove ever asked for, wanted, and she’s going to kill me for exposing this, but the only time I ever saw her cry in those entire months of torture…was Cato. It was towards the very end, and I was scared, truly scared, to know they had brought her to the point of crying for him even alone in her cell... because I thought that meant we were all going to die if even Clove was at her breaking point. There is a deep, deep, incredible trust and love between them, beyond anything I have ever seen.”
At some point Glimmer had started crying, because it is through heavy tears that she concludes her aspect. “We are so lucky, to be witnesses not only to today, but to the way you two love. Through multiple Hunger Games and forced separation and a war..there’s never been a moment where I thought of you as separate. You are always Cato and Clove. Please don’t kill me for saying this, but I mean it, when I say you are my best friends. I do not think I would be alive without the two of you feeding me and pushing to keep going. I’m also really really excited for you two to have babies for me to be Auntie Glimmer to, I’m already in my fairy godmother dress, so if you two could like…hurry up with that and maybe give me a girl in like…nine months I’d really love that, thank you. We love you guys.”
Marvel’s hand experimentally finds the small of Glimmer’s back, and she doesn’t flinch away. He grabs a champagne glass off a table and raises it infront of him. “To Cato. And To Clove.”
Glimmer interrupts with a smile on her face that juxtaposes the tears running over her cheeks “to Cato and Clove.”
When Cato turns his head to look at Clove, who’s curled into him, he notices the way her eyelashes are clumped and wet. “Are you crying?”
“Shut up.”  Clove warns, wiping at her eyes with the heel of her hand, before she more properly turns her body to fully lay against his side. 
Enobaria takes the moment, then, to stand up while the attention is still drawn all while drawing the attention away from Glimmer and Marvel, who seem to be heading towards the bar set-up together. She’s also clearly enjoyed her night, her jacket now unbuttoned (and missing the single button), the fashion tape underneath holding it closed, but more notable was the pink lipstick faintly visible along her neck and collarbones. 
“I..couldn’t pass up the opportunity to embarrass you.” She starts gesturing towards Clove. “As everyone here knows, I raised Clove. We can say I was a mentor to her, but in reality, I helped raise her. I met her when I was twelve, and she was two. Her mother was my mentor, and we all know that her mother is not here with us now. I only feel so inclined to do this, because of the fact her mother isn’t here to do so. I remember Clove as this tiny tiny toddler, about the same height as now. I remember the day her bitch of a grandmother dropped her off at my house to teach her how to throw knives. What she didn’t know until right now is I really had no idea, and actually had to ask Cashmere and Gloss how to teach her. But hey, clearly, I made her a victor anyway. And then… there was Cato. This little infuriating prick of a kid, who broke her clavicle the day they met. I knew he was going to be a pest in my life, ever since. They were the best partners though. They knew each others moves, their strengths, and their weaknesses. They were good and then when they were teeangers exactly how good of partners they were became all of our problem. Clove..she was traumatized. A dead teenage mother will do that to you. I was not worried about her…repeating…that statistic. Until fucking Cato Hadley won the games and came home a cocky Victo.  And then…I caught her sneaking out of his house the day he got home. I about killed her. I went home, and I called Cash, BEGGING her to help me figure out how to keep her from getting pregnant too. Cato, Clove, remember to thank Cashmere for all the years of risk free sex, later.” 
“Maybe she should also be thanking Cashmere for all the risk free sex, look at her right now?” Clove murmurs, and the shaking of Cato’s chest underneath her is all she needs to know he is holding back a laugh. 
“I was ready to kill Cato, because I was sure he was going to distract her from her last year of training. But to his credit, and I hate saying that, he pushed her harder than even I did. I remember telling him to back off, and when he didn’t, I was so hopeful Clove was going to get over him. Clearly..I had no such luck.” Enobaria gives a smile that is so soft without her filed teeth that it nearly does not look like her. “When she was in the games, and Cato and I went through the fear of losing her together…I decided he was okay. If she was going to pick one, at least he was a victor, too. And as much as I hate to say it..he loved her then, too. When they went into the quell..I knew they were not going to come out without each other. I wanted to kill them, and I do mean that literally, when I saw them covered in that blood and going into the cornucopia, but then…everything went to hell. I was in the dark about them the entire war. I did not know if they were alive, I did not know if they were dead, though I assumed that they were. I’ll never forget when one day, when she appeared on that stupid video and she looked..off. One of the worst moments of my life was when I heard her scream for him in the background of that video. Because I knew…I knew he was not there. I did not know if he was alive, but I did know that if he was, he was going to get to her and get her home. And he did. I cannot believe I am about to say this, but I am so happy to see you marry each other. I am also very glad it is now and not because you were seventeen year old teen parents. Above all else…I am so proud of you both. Cato…Clove..you are both my victors.” 
At the conclusion of her speech, Clove pushes herself up just in time to meet Enobaria half way as she leans across the little table to hug her. “Thank you, Enobaria.”
One of the biggest joys of their wedding is to watch their friends enjoy themselves. 
“Annie!” Clove grins, throwing her arms open to offer the redheaded woman a hug. “Thank you for making it, I  know it has to be hard with the–where is that baby of yours?”
“Oh, Glimmer has him.” Finnick explains, taking his turn to hug Clove as well. He nods his head to the corner of the room, where Glimmer is seated at a little table, gently rocking the three month old baby to sleep. “She also gave us the whole Aunt Glimmer Fairy godmother talk this morning.”
Glimmer is in fact swaying in her chair, clearly singing some song to the boy. The longing in her face is evident, even from across the room, from the way she offers her finger to the baby in her arms to how she holds his bronze covered head intentionally above the glitter of her dress so as to not irritate his baby skin. 
“I think she should just have one herself.” Annie remarks, leaning her head against Finnick’s chest. “I think she’s meant for it.”
“Yeah, well, she’s missing half that equation.” Cato recalls, pulling Clove’s back to his now entirely bare chest, his shirt having lost the rest of the buttons throughout the night. 
“I don’t think she will be for long.” Finnick suggests as Marvel settles himself in the seat directly next to Glimmer, reaching out to tickle the bottom of the baby’s pajama covered foot. Glimmer gives him a smile before redirecting her attention to the baby, but Marvel, oh Marvel never looks away from the expressions on Glimmer’s face.  
Johanna finds them as they’re sitting next to the cake, in their own little world, spooning bites of the confection into each other's mouths.
“Okay, Lovebirds, where are all the hot people for me to go home with?” She remarks, slamming herself down in a seat across from the two of them. 
“Nice to see you too, Jo.” Clove murmurs, wiping icing off the corner of her mouth gracefully. “I dunno, I bet Glimmer would be down.”
“Are you serious? Her and Marvel literally snuck off into your house fifteen minutes ago. I don’t want to get in bed with them.”  Johanna scoffs, shaking her head. “I thought Cato would have a hot brother or something here..”
“Wait Glimmer and Marvel did what?” Cato interrupts, holding up a hand to stop her from continuing with her subject change. “In our house?”
“Well, in Clovey Girl’s house I think. Marvel had a plate full of cake and a bottle of the good stuff in his hand too, like the kind of shit Haymitch used to hoard at the games…speaking of Haymitch! You didn’t even invite them? Miss Mockingjay I understand, but after all Peeta went through with us..” Johanna clicks her tongue disapprovingly. “Cold even for you two.”
“We did invite them, Johanna.” Cato defends, reaching behind them and getting another slice of cake for him and his wife– oh he could say it in public now— to share. 
“Katniss is still on District Twelve house arrest. Peeta didn’t want to come without her. He did make the cake though. That kid can bake.” Clove swipes her finger through the ivory icing, before dolloping it on Cato’s nose. “We tried.”
“Ugh, you two are so gross. I’m going back to the bar.” She pushes herself to a standing position, surveying the room before straightening her dress. “....congratulations, I guess.”
“Thanks, Johanna.” Cato calls as she walks away, before pulling Clove fully onto his lap. 
“We did it.” He teases her, pressing kisses along the juncture of her neck and shoulder, “You’re my wife, Clovey.”
“I’ve technically been your wife for years.” She turns so she faces him, her arm languidly draped over his shoulder. Clove strokes his cheek with her thumb, and flashes him a wicked grin. “Now it’s just public.” 
“Are we ever going to tell anyone we did this before?” Cato’s hands come to rest on her hips, squeezing, promising of what is to come later in the evening as he leans forward and once again starts kissing from her jaw down her neck. 
She lets out a delighted gasp at the feeling of his lips on her.  “Absolutely not. This is for them. That? That was for us.”
I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this. 
It is worth saying that life blooms through the cracks of a broken nation, love takes root in the rubble and ash. It is life itself, it is love embodied, that is a true pioneer species rising like a  phoenix amongst ash riddled towns.
It is the passage of time that lets life and love flourish in the new panem. 
It is friends in District One. Marvel who remembers the way cold aches in the very core of Clove’s body, and always has extra blankets casually lying out for her to take without ever needing to ask.
On a beach in district four, It is Glimmer and Finnick, watching her blonde little girl and his bronze haired little boy playing along the shore, with no care in the world other than their mission to find whole sand dollars and laughing in delight as hermit crabs scurry across their toes. Two children who, along with their siblings and friends, are free. Their childlike innocence intact, their bodies forever their own. 
It is Johanna in District Seven, who finds that she had more in common with career victors than she thought. Or maybe, Cato and Marvel just make her feel like a fucking genius when it comes to women, and thats good enough for her. 
In District Twelve it is a baker and an ex-revolutionary, who are never quite expecting for literal career killers to show up to a tiny little bakery on the edge of the seam. They come looking for cinnamon rolls and maybe tease Peeta a little too much about the status of his relationship. Peeta never turns them away (even if Katniss does pretend not to be in the shop that day, sometimes).
And in District Two. 
It is in the combined efforts of Brutus and Enobaria, in establishing a recreation center for the surviving children of Two. It is far from the training empire it once was, let there be no mistake, but it gives a playground to the ghosts of the victors they once were. It serves as a memorial of sorts to the nearly one hundred and forty tributes who did not come home to District Two.
Cato and Clove, above all else, are happy. 
These days, Clove does not have much use for throwing knives. 
The ache in her body, the sharp pain in her wrists simply isn’t worth it anymore. 
Clove Kentwell Hadley still never misses, but she is so much more than a girl with perfect aim. 
Clove is the friend of the only surviving victors, she is the sister to the most affectionate Hadley she knows. 
They are Aunt Cove and Uncle Cayo to the identical little daughters of their best friends, who wrap their tiny arms around their necks and smother them in honey blonde curls and pure, unfiltered adoration. 
She is half of the best dinner parties– Clove makes the best food, but Glimmer plans the best parties. (It’s a bold statement to call them parties when it’s the four of them and the only other career victors, but Glimmer won’t have it any other way). 
And she is loved. So, so, so loved, by the only man she’s ever trusted, wanted, and needed. 
Clove is no longer just the girl who never misses. 
In fact, three years after the end of the war, the only time Cato finds Clove throwing a knife is in their kitchen. 
Her only goal? 
Trying to earn the brilliant, infectious laugh of their blue eyed, blonde haired infant son in her arms. 
This is the life of a victor. 
The end. 
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raytorosaurus · 10 months
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bit of a weird ask but I saw a twitter post saying they were 'devastated' over what frank said in an interview about performing/writing in ls dunes compared to some other bands (theyre assuming that the 'other bands' means mcr because they cant think of the 20+ other bands that hes been in) and after reading it a second time it doesn't even seem that negative?? it just talks about different processes and his excitement for dunes, but I still feel down anyway now because of that reaction, and it really makes me doubt that part of the fandom's faith in the band and its members im kinda close to quitting the fandom because of this and idk how the tumblr/twitter gang here survives it y'all are troopers, im unsure how to avoid that kind of doomposting
sorry i totally forgot to answer this the other day, i hope you see this!
but yeah, i see the same thing and it is. pretty irritating haha. it speaks to the unrealistic traits and behaviours fandom has applied to these ppl over the years/decades - which are harmless enough on the surface, but left unchecked you end up with doomposting or disproportionate levels of discourse when one of them doesn't behave the way their textpostified personalities would have you believe hahaha. if frank isn't anything but reverential towards mcr then he must hate it. if gerard puts time and work into his artistic and career pursuits that aren't related to mcr he must be giving up on the band like he supposedly did in 2012. if ray, who hasn't done a single interview since 2016, isn't on stage showing frank public affection or admiring him on twitter, he must be bossy and arrogantly taking all the glory for mcr's guitar parts and musicality. if mikey does anything it's gotta have something to do with gerard or mcr because obvs he doesn't exist outside the band etc etc. again none of these things are like. problematic or bad**, just kind of. annoying to engage with as an adult in the space i go to enjoy myself hahaha.
but this specific discussion abt frank implicitly dissing mcr also cropped up after that podcast frank did with travis, where he discussed writing music with ls dunes vs every other band/project he's been involved in. which, let's remember, is a fucking lot. how many albums has frank made or been part of? too many to easily count. only about four or five of those were with my chemical romance. ls dunes is only set apart from the rest because they're currently active after mcr's huge reunion, and they're a supergroup so they're getting a lot of press attention. people have never batted an eye in the past when frank has discussed how great it is to be working with this or that musician on this or that album - it's just the timing of ls dunes and our own high hopes for new mcr music that make people take this one in particular so personally.
on top of that... we've always known mcr has a fraught and stressful writing process??? that is like. a major part of the lore? we're all compelled by the insane amount of unlikely success mcr achieved in their careers, and by the fact that they were always controversial. we reblog quotes about gerard saying mcr's purpose was always to be against something, to undermine expectations, to infiltrate, contaminate etc. i thought this was something we were all drawn to about mcr? so i'll never understand the shock and disappointment when frank makes the simple statement that writing with ls dunes is easier, less stressful, and more lighthearted than writing with mcr. like...duh it is? mcr have always been open about how much they put into writing albums - and also about how they're proud of what they created, and that they consider each other cherished family.
the most annoying part for me is when people take quotes about frank working with travis and twist them into some kind of dig at/criticism of ray. i can only assume these people aren't used to working with others in a creative capacity, especially long term, because i just totally can't understand where it comes from lol. as someone who's read/watched every guitar-related mcr interview i've ever been able to get my hands on: ray and frank have literally never been anything other than fully complimentary of, respectful to, and affectionate with one another. ray was far from the first guitarist frank ever worked with and leagues from the only one. also, creative partnerships are extremely complex and every one is completely unique, with it's own strengths and difficulties. if ray and frank didn't love playing with each other they wouldn't have done it for years and years. that doesn't mean frank can't vocally love playing with other guitarists??? these things are not contradictory and appreciating aspects of one creative partnership is not equivalent to bad-mouthing a different one? like that is just not how it works skdkdjd
anyway i think a lot of it comes down to the fact that, for us, we see these people as parts of my chemical romance. naturally, because that's the reason we know they exist! but all of these people live rich and full and complex lives like any other person. the only parts of those lives that we generally see much of are the my chemical romance parts. we look for mcr in everything they say, which is understandable but unrealistic. all we need to do it keep that in mind imo
**(tho ppl's tendency to pit ray and frank against each other for some reason, which used to be a way common but is unfortunately a sentiment i'm starting to see crop up again in some places, definitely can get. suspicious and uncomfortable. especially considering that frank is the fan favourite so these pointless comparisons tend to err in his favour, and in either direction they tend to be very shallow and uninformed anyway. but that's a separate conversation)
wow i literally did not intend to turn this into a giant essay im so sorry. kudos if you made it this far lol. and i feel you anon, it's discouraging and puts a bad taste in my mouth when i come to this fandom for fun and fulfillment. i wish i had better advice because im feeling a little similar but just try to remind yourself that other people's opinions are just that. i find it helps if you can curate your own dash/feed or make friends in more discussion-friendly spaces like dms or gcs or discord servers. or even a priv twitter account with a few like-minded mutuals where you can vent ur shared frustrations over things without making it a whole big deal HAHAHA. the less time you spend scrolling thru ppl's public posts and the more time you spend diving into interviews, podcasts, videos, the web archive etc to detach yourself a little from group fandom-think the better you'll probably feel about mcr tbh! also long as you have friends or close mutuals that's all that matters imo <3
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zapsoda · 5 months
Text
"what is a crush?" is such a fascinating question to explore why dont we talk about this more. like just for funsies. it feels like such a vast and ill defined concept yet many of us seem to have at least somewhat of an agreement on what it means.
in my mind. and my experience. a crush is when you like someone a lot. more than you like other people you like. this does not necessarily mean romantically. i entirely believe in platonic feelings of this variety. i think some people call those squishes but i think thats even stupider than the word crush, personally.
anyways. to elaborate. the effect is like a high. from my understanding. i dont really get out. in their vicinity your heart rate goes up. you get nervous. but not in the way that you feel nervous before going into an interview or walking on a glass bridge, its like when youre getting seated on a roller coaster just before it takes off.
it is exactly like being in the line of sight of a monster in a survival horror game.
except the monster is a person.
despite this, you might be a bit more impulsive. its entirely contradictory, its illogical, yet you push to worsen that anxiety. maybe you will talk to that person. maybe you will sit a little closer.
you have this gnawing, desperate, urge to put yourself in the way of danger. against all signs of danger, you want to get closer.
because every time you do this you have the chance of getting a sweet shot of dopamine. maybe they looked your way and werent visibly repulsed. maybe they waved to you. maybe they said hi. maybe even they spoke to you, like a normal human being.
the thrill is addictive. something about this person and the danger your brain tries so desperately to tell you that they put you in makes you fall deeper and deeper.
you start thinking about them when they arent around. you wonder what theyre doing. you wonder what they think of you. you wonder if its possible that maybe, just maybe, they dont even utterly abhor you. its a scandalous thought. whats next, youll be planning the wedding? yeah, maybe.
slowly, it takes over your brain. what was once a passing interest, now consumes many of your waking thoughts. you cant go too long without another hit. you cant see your future without it. without them.
your fantasies become more extreme. what would maximize the thrill and the rush. maybe if you touched hands, maybe if you got them to laugh, maybe if you stayed a little longer.
see, your brain builds up a tolerance to it. each moment, each high period overwhelms your neurons, it requires more and more just to satisfy your craving.
now youve fallen in. hook, line, and sinker.
thats just my experience though, id love to hear what other people have to say on the matter.
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bioexorcizm · 3 days
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so uhm what's harley's opinion on this whole ... sacrifice thing ,,, and jack's interview with lilly .. and have harley ever met gus !!!
theres so much i wanna ask help 😭
yayayayyy hi mayo!!! i am always open for questions about them so feel free to fire away!!!! i'll do these one at a time for now:
harley has met gus plenty of times! they're vaguely acquaintances having lots of small talk, but not a whole lot beyond that. most of the time when harls is at the studio theyre either talking with - or waiting for - jack. theyre much closer with leo actually, theyve definitely gone out for drinks and dinner with leo before (with jack accompanying them, of course).
NOW for the fun ones..
harley definitely doesn't know about the sacrifice thing -- but to be fair, they don't ask, and jack doesn't tell. personally, i dont really think jack even knows about why minnie died, i dont think he understood that he was basically killing her when he was doing the ritual at the grove, he just knew he wanted to be famous. that being said, i dont think harley would really know how to feel if they found out. they know jack isnt a bad guy, hes just got high ambitions, and they understand because so do they, just in a different way. 🫶
THE INTERVIEWWW!!! harley absolutely has reservations about the interview. they feel very uneasy with the idea. they don't really believe in ghosts and demons and all that, but still they are super unsettled by the prospects of bringing lilly and june on for some reason that they cant pinpoint. i imagine theyd try a few times to get jack to change his mind about having them on the show, but after jack insists they kind of toss in the towel and focus on other things. theyre definitely there during the events of the movie, (and survive, going on to be a key witness in jacks trial!!) and its probably something that weighs pretty heavy on them after, in a "could i have prevented this?" way.
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034463 · 1 year
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you’re right and you should say it. Netflix 100% plotted Daniels entire career to make more mone- *gunshot*
*puts on tinfoil hat* *unravels whiteboard* sit your cute ass down and grab a cola and popcorn because i have a Theory^tm . you know how some drivers/team believe the 'dts curse'? where if the dts crew is filming your team for the weekend anything or everything will always go wrong.
i dont have concrete examples at the moment but i think there was a rumor that the netflix crew was following AT during the mexico weekend and on that sunday danny crashed into yuki and yuki dnfed. and i think i saw some article from 2020?? or 21?? that toto was like 'we hope tht we can avoid the netflix curse' on AD20 because netflix was filming them that weekend
SOOO basically if netflix takes an interest in you... your weekend is fucked. and you know who netflix loves?? Daniel ricciardo. i mean come on that man has the personality of prime television character and the first driver we met in drive to survive was danny. he gave soo many interview drive to survive is basically Daniel Ricciardo's Autobiography.
with this laid out i have two theories.
one, since daniel is basically the face of dts, he has the dts forever curse. he can never get rid of the netflix curse and his life will slowly go downhill until he finally retires from f1.
or two, my favorite, is that since everyone loves him so much and want more daniel ricciardo screen time, the dts director has an idea to make daniel like the 'main character of the whole franchise'. and they cant have the main character have a boring normal life/career, so he, danny, and horner strike up a deal that will let netflix play with daniel's career for at most 5 years and in return redbull wont be evil edited and danny will return to redbull after the contract ends.
its been almost 5 years since the beginning of dts daniel is finally coming home and to add to that netflix can make a whole big episode on how daniel ricciardo is the prodigal son^tm and hes coming home #DR3ack
QED BITCHES
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silasplaskett · 2 years
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( hi same anon as b4 :) )
that's what i mean w/ henry's backstory being interesting -- there's so much mystery. he was in boy's scouts (thank god, i doubt the boys would've survived as well w/o him), but dropped out to be.. emo, i guess. honestly, im scrambling trying to fill in the gaps!
season three better have more scenes dedicated to him. when he opened up emotionally, it felt different than when, say, raf did it.
hiii :))) YES very much agreeing here. his emotional moments on the island were so awesome to me and then when they ended i was kind of like oh thats it?
and then his interview scenes were kind of like. dramatic lines that it sounds like an emo teenager would definitely have rehearsed in his head. and i just want to know where all of that comes from!! i cant really parse out which parts are an act he puts on and which parts are like. possibly him being mentally ill and depressed bc i think they allude to that in one of henry and seths earlier conversations. idk i just cant believe im gonna have to wait forever to find out anything else.
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nialltlynch · 1 year
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i got to ask about the niall mor v's but also...jordan blue??? can we get a morsel of jordan blue??
i posted what i have of the jordan blue thing here BUT i know i posted the bullet point version of this fic somewhere on my blog ?? i just??? cant find it??? it is so silly of me to have the whole thing outlined but like not written SORRY EVERYONE maybe ill try to bust this one out..
oooOHH okay so ive given Niall and mórs whole Thing some thought since cdth over the years (lmaooooo. sad). all of them were fleshed out and written way before greywaren so they have the added bonus of being non canon compliant too!!!
v1 was a strange half epistolary, half found footage type thing which was fun to do as a format but ultimately i decided to not use since i had no idea what i really though of niall and mór. v2 was an extended imagining of one of their later meetings in life and it's where i got a feel for the type of dynamic i felt they had (still super janky). and v3 looks A LOT like (current and active wip) v4 which is a brief (re: 17k words and counting) overview of their entire relationship in a way that is very cool to me personally and also has nothing whatsoever to do with greywaren SO. yeah. ive cannibalized and restructured quite a bit from the earlier versions so it's hard to pick out stuff that probably hasn't been reused but i tried !!!
the wip fridge: the post
v1
This appears to be the final letter.
The question of who is of most interest to us.  A bit of digging reveals that there once lived a Niall Lynch in Washington DC who was murdered in the Singer's Falls area around the time when we believe this final letter to have been written.  Furthermore, his body was found near to the place where the original burned house is located.  There are no photos of Niall as he appeared to live a life generally under the radar.
The house itself sits on a relatively hidden plot of land that had been assumed abandoned.  Legal records show that it had changed a few hands back in the 1800s but those families either did not survive this long or they appear to have moved out of the area.  Legally, it has been without owner or resident since at least the 1930s.  
The few details we have been able to cobble together make for a strangely compelling case that perhaps Niall Lynch is the same Niall who penned half of these letters.  Per immigration reports, Niall came to the United States in the early-mid 1990s from Ireland which lines up with the proposed timeline in the letters.  Niall struggled to raise three sons in Washington DC.  The family appeared to sustain themselves completely on odd jobs done under the table.  It is assumed the boys' mother died early in life and not much is known besides the indication of an "A. Lynch" in reference to the mother on the boys' birth records.
We interviewed a few of the folks in Singer's Falls and the only knowledge they had of Niall Lynch was that he had been murdered there.  No one knew him before then.  Local police records show a thin investigation for his murder, which unfortunately is not uncommon for the area.  What then was Niall doing in western Virginia when it seemed most of his life revolved around Washington DC?
Records show that the three Lynch Brothers (Declan, Ronan, and Matthew) were attending Aglionby Academy, a prestigious all-boys preparatory academy in Henrietta, Virginia, which is just a hop, skip, and a jump from Singer's Falls.  When reached for comment, Declan Lynch summarized that he had been born and raised in Washington DC and his only brief stint in western Virginia was when he attended Aglionby Academy.  He described his high school experience as "easily some of the years of [his] youth."  When questioned about the burned house and if he or his father knew anyone in Singer's Falls, Declan came up with nothing.  We showed Declan some of the letters and sketches and he seemed genuinely very surprised.  He guessed that whatever had happened was something that happened to far more interesting people.
"I do love a good mystery," he told us.
For the past couple years, Declan has lived and worked in Boston as a notable art critic and curator.  He and longtime girlfriend Jordan Hennessy are celebrating the opening of their first gallery in the summer.
Ronan and Matthew Lynch were unable to be reached for comment.
If the evidence for Niall Lynch is anemic at best, any clue to the identity of Mór Ó Corra is like chasing a ghost.  It's clear from the letter that Mór Ó Corra, is a chosen name and no references or mentions of her legal name are ever made in the letters.  Scouring historical records and those noted to be in contact with Niall Lynch turn up no mention or indication of any such character.  The references made in her letters to the supposed society she joined here in the United States do not lead to anywhere of note.  Select portion of her letters and available sketches have been sent to databases ranging from criminal to amateur to art historians alike.  To our knowledge, no hits have been made yet.  We had hoped that perhaps being knowledgeable about art, Declan Lynch would have been able to shed some light on her identity.  However, when he viewed the sketches he came up with nothing.  He did praise her technique and warm use of gesturing.
v2
Niall Lynch spits blood and bourbon on the stoop of the bar as he's so kindly escorted out.  He curses them, too, but the words splash against the door and dissipate in the humidity, thick and hungry and alive.  Even the sky up above is rolling and nauseated as though it feels as tipsy as Niall.  There's grace in good company, Niall thinks.  At least there are no witnesses to this low point.
What a mess this all is.
They had made him say her name.  Mór Ó Corra.  He rasped it and the consonants cut a line from the soft places in his gut and all up his throat.  Vowels seeped from his saliva like poison.  There was a pause on the other end, long enough for Niall to rethink things a thousand times over, and then simply the name of a bar and the line going dead.  
He came here to find her.  He came here to forget.
In the end, it doesn't matter anyway because she didn't show up.
There's a row of measly potted flowers hugging the weathered stone exterior of the bar.  They're a little dry, barely enthused to be alive, cracks all along their pots.  But the sound, oh how delightful it is when they crash and shatter on the concrete.  Petal flatten under his boots, fluttering to the dirt as he draws his foot up to stomp someplace else.  There's a window smudged with years and too old, too timid now to reflect anything.  He should break it.
"Yes, I can see you've definitely matured."
Niall blinks, the world tilts just so, and where there had been nothing now there is Mór.  The years between the Mór he had last beheld, both with his eyes and his hands, and this Mór now in front of him are distinct, jarring.  She is lovely.
"Cunt," he calls her.  His instincts flinch in muscle memory but the wave of regret never follows.
What does follow is a moment of silence.  Niall is afraid to look away, to possibly lose her as though she is only here because he longs for her to be here.  The sick clouds above rumble and spark in the distance.  A smattering of rain tentatively falls and it's the wet spots budding on her skin, on the fabric of her shirt, that makes Niall believe this moment is real.
"You used to write me sonnets.  Is that all?" she asks, already exasperated with him.  He can feel the joy already beginning to turn his stomach.
"I'm all out of words for you, woman."
"Good to know you've stopped lying to my face.  The other side of the leaf is greener and you, my steadfast and true beloved, are proof of that.  What have you done with him?"
"He doesn't know," he says truthfully.  Mór makes a face like she doesn't believe him.  Niall has missed that little pout in her lip.  Her eyes rove  the ground but they don't find anything and Niall laughs, gesturing at eye level.  "He's about here now."
"Disgusting.  Why would you let that happen?"
aaaaaaaand i actually have nothing to post for v3 since it's essentially draft 1 for the current iteration. hopefully (HOPEFULLY) ill be posting the fic soon !!! goal is before the end of the year lmao
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fortbailey · 2 years
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actually how long do you think brigitte was on her own for after the original cuz i’ve always assumed it was like 2 months, but i’ve seen people say it was 2 years. from content i’ve seen online this info varies too.
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howilearnedtocope · 7 years
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Reblog if you've ever been suicidal, and you're glad you’re still alive today
I want to show people who are struggling now how many of us are out there, and why it is worth hanging in there even when things feel hopeless. I hope if we get enough notes we can help people find the strength to keep going 💕
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randombubblegum · 2 years
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also i cant believe awsten did one (1) interview w that korean channel and he looked like passably cute again and everyone lost their minds. guys this is so sad we are eating scraps out of the trash to survive
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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years
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Breeding A Human Chapter Two
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Masterlist
Its a few weeks since Kal has claimed you and ...He might be more unstable then you first thought. But your learning to navigate him but your question now is what does it mean to be mated by a kryptonian? And better yet can you reverse it? 
Warnings: Adult Situations 18+,Swearing ,Manipulative Behavior,Yandere,Non Con WHEN I SAY NON CON I MEAN NON CON DON'T LIKE IT DON'T FUCKING READ IT STOP READING SHIT YOU DON'T LIKE!!, Breeding Kink, Mentions of Forced Pregnancy, Angst, Spanking, Threatening Behavior,  Threats of Violence
A/N: So found this hard to write....well I couldn't write it in one go had to take a few breathers whether that’s good of bad I'm not sure, was a bit of a bugger to keep the mad yandere theme going but I hope I succeeded xx
Taglist: @thatdamncutegirl @sofiebstar​ @iloveyouyen​ @thefangirlsblog​ @lux-ravenwolf​ @thatgirly81​
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You sat down on the floor in the living room against the wall hidden, things are...Hard. Your neighbor who spotted you and Kal the other week had told your other neighbors and friends who told their friends who told their friends and on and on. There had been small snippets in the news and media about superman possibly having a lover but everything was still rumor and speculation...Well it was until yesterday someone must have got access to the police report of the incident at the house. Because yesterday your face was plastered all over the papers and this morning you awoke to reporters pounding on your door at seven am each hounding you for the scoop wanting an interview with 'Supermans woman'. You wasn't sure why but it seemed Kal had all but abandoned you to deal with it, probably wanting to see if youd say something to them; tell them the truth it was a test. You wont, you cant the retribution and backlash wouldn't be worth it, you didn't want to imagine Kals reaction...He would flip his shit....Again your not sure you would survive superman's displeasure again as his 'mate' your corrections were of a very specific nature.
So here you were alone hiding in your own home with your wooden blinds shut tight trying to ignore the crowd of people outside snapping photos of your home and calling for you to come out and chat. The papers yesterday had all plastered a photo taken of you both when he saved you from the water all those months ago. The headlines all along the same lines of 'confimred Superman's human lover. The secret love affair' and 'Love at first sight? Superman's girlfriend finally revealed!' And your personal favorite just from the sheer cheesyness 'The star crossed lovers! Krypton and Earth collide!' There was many other shitty headlines they must have just found out it was true after digging around.
Each knew who you were and where you lived, some of them had interveiws from 'witnesses' from the day he pulled you from the water 'He wouldn't let her go not even to the paramedic's. You could tell he was shaken up it must have been terrible for him to see her in the water like that!...You could tell there was something there between them, I have no doubt they were a couple already! They were even bickering!. He even protected her from being arrested for jumping in after the little girl! No one could get near her...He was probably in shock he just held her close ~It was so romantic seeing him protect her like that you could tell it was true love~' you scoffed bullshit! If only they knew what followed. Some even questioned if you were fucking secretly married!
You sat wiping your eyes crying softly, your life had gone to shit in a few short months and you was at rock bottom. Trapped in your own home by a media frenzy who wanted the story ...What could you tell them? the truth? 'superman stalked me, isolated me and manipulated me into thinking I was borderline schizophrenic convincing me I had ptsd and was going mad then raped me when I found out he was a fucking nut job and when the police showed up I was to scared to say anything because he was upstairs'
Somehow you didn't think they would buy that, they wanted a fairy tale! not the truth and if you did tell the truth you'd get a shit tonne of hate. And Kal? Well you didn't want to risk angering him again. He threw fits at you, bouts of anger that always terrified you and each time you were reminded. He was not human. Nowhere near it! He nearly perforated your ear drums from shouting at you last week you couldn't afford to anger him. So instead you opted to remain silent.
In the days since his rape mating Kal had stuck around he was here each night he didn't leave anymore either...Well not properly, he still flew off into the night to maintain order in the city and save people from disasters around the world but he didn't leave to go home a night. He did however leave in the morning and he was out all day like clock work almost like he had a job. Each day would start with him in your bed sometimes just watching you other times you awoke to him slipping between your thighs using your body to satisfy himself, you tried not to resist it was hopeless he would do what he wanted.
He claimed you were his mate and as his mate you had a duty to please him, he said to think of yourself as his wife and he had very traditional views on how his home life should be, bare foot in the kitchen sprang to mind. Preferably pregnant to, he was obsessed with wanting you to become pregnant and you do mean obsessed. After fucking you full to the point of pain he spent hours just watching your stomach, following his release with his all seeing gaze as it traveled into your womb willing it to hit its mark. He is adamant that he wants to see the exact moment that you conceive, the creation of his child! And you can never forget what he is doing either. He holds you in an elevated position trying to get the best chance all the while rubbing your stomach and ribs giving you a monologue of what his cum is doing, where it is how close he is to fertilizing you. It made you feel sick but what could you do? Fight him?
He was very pleased with himself always claiming that this was right, it was how nature intended and that it was just taking you longer to feel the bond you had because you was human. Kal was sure once you became pregnant  that tiny ounce of kryptonian blood in your child would kick start your own mateing bond for now you had to trust him. So obsessed and desperate to have you 'bred' he helped himself to you as and when he saw fit, his 'love making' literally lasted hours he called it many things 'sex, fucking, lovemaking' but it was rape however you refrained from calling it that now he got all angry glowy eyes which was...Not fun especially when the molten eyes were inches from yours as he held you down and 'corrected' you with his cock, splitting you open mercilessly and unprepared trying to breed you like a bitch in heat. And true to his word he had kept you quiet not from holding back oh god no. He now had a solution if you began to struggle or get to 'fiesty' he would simply place fingers in your mouth and pin down your tongue as a painful reprimand to 'bring you back in line' and it usually did in a few short moments to frightened to struggle much longer in fear of him snapping your jaw.
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You had tried to run a few days after your first time, hoping that you could at least get a one way plane ticket you doubted he would rip open the plane and risk everyone just to get to you, he seemed to need his golden boy image to cover his tracks. Unfortunately as you tried making your escape your neighbor was in the garden biting at the bit to talk to you wanting to know the ins and outs. You had real trouble trying to get out of the conversation she was a determined gossip.
"So you wrangled yourself a hero?! Wow tell me whats he really like? Where did you two meet? Was it the bridge? I bet it was the bridge! That’s so romantic! Him saving your life and falling in love, it sounds like a real life fairy tale! I'm almost jealous" You had shivered if only she knew, you wanted to just ignore her and run off but you'd already stopped and turned to her you cursed yourself for it when you looked to her. Mrs Ellis AKA the local rumor mill, well known for getting into everyone else's business, she was kind enough but two faced and nosy. She was married and in her early forties with one adult son who was just as bad as his mother. You plastered on a shy smile just give her a few tit bits to mull over and you'd be out of here!
"No it....I'm not sure how it happened he just managed to make himself apart on my life...I didn't have much say to be honest" she had giggled and covered her red cheeks fanning her self.
"I bet! I'm sure no one can stop that man when he is determined! We heard it infact~" you blushed and looked away scanning the sky apprehensively you really didn't want to be caught out of the house by him, he wont like it as his mate you were supposed to rely on him for everything therefore had no reason to leave. Seeing the conversation start to halt before she got what she wanted she smiled again continuing.
"We were all worried around here for a few weeks... We thought you were going off the deep end can you believe that? None of us suspected your strange behavior was just because you had yourself a new man...It was because you were with him wasn't it?" and there we go the snooping disguised as friendly chat. You looked around quickly okay you had enough you needed to leave.
"I...Yes yes it was...Mrs Ellis I'm sorry to be rude but I'm kind of in a rush-" her face lit up"OH! are you sneaking out? let me guess going to cook your man a slap up romantic meal?! you know I did the same to Earl when we first got together! Oh to be oung again~ just remember good food is the way into a mans heart~" you smiled at her and moved your hands in a shrugging gesture.
"You've caught me Mrs Ellis! He has no idea what I have planned...So if he comes over could you try and stall him ...Stop him from coming looking for me? just say I've popped out...."
"Huh? why would he be looking for- Would he be worried about you?!~ oh that is so sweet! your so lucky to have him fawn over you, Must feel so nice having him all macho and protective~. That being said I can understand why you've been so skittish. I'd be skittish to if I was dating a man like that." You frowned at her confused man like that? Did she know? would she believe you if you told her?
"A...A man like what?" She gasped placing a hand to yours thinking she had offended you.
"Oh no! Oh honey I didn't...I didn't mean nothing by it! I'm not one of those 'alien go home' lackey's I merely meant him being a hero..He's bound to have enemies so I would have been careful to and I'm sure you both didn't want the media knowing but they will find out soon honey...Sorry I'm getting this all wrong...All I'm trying to say is I'm happy for you! Right well I won't keep you, you go get your man his dinner! But if you ever need anything or just to talk pop round and we can have a chit chat- even bring him I'm sure he and Earl would get along as us women have a chat!" you thanked her and made your way half way down the lawn with promises of talking to him about it...But no you had absolutely no intentions of going round there...or staying here for that matter?If all went well youd be out of the country by tonight!.
It was when you got nearly three houses down the road your heart stopped ,there it was the boom of him reentering the atmosphere above. You turned looking at him he was hovering staring at the house, looking for you from here you could tell he was becoming aggravated. You got another two steps then your neighbor gave you away gasping and giggling at you then shouted across the open lawns.
"Oh y/n I think you have a visitor~ should I get my ear plugs ready?~" You closed your eyes feeling Kal’s gaze snap to you ignoring her comment you moved your hand clutching your bag tighter, he would know and you were going to be in for it! The street seemed to get quiet, the people that had been out doing yard work now staring as he barrelled down towards you stopping a few feet above you then lowered down to the ground smiling eerily at you.
"Mate? I thought you were staying in today...You know I'm not keen on you going out without me knowing..." he was quick to wrap himself around you ushering you back towards the house glanced over you and frowned slightly seeing your larger bag.
"Just where do you thing your off to...with your passport?" You could hear the growl creep in to his voice.
"Just in to town...Want some wine is all and sometimes they say my license is fake so I take my passport to...I didn't think you'd be home till tonight" Mrs Ellis laughed shaking her head at you.
"Oh dear why not tell him, even with all this feminism there is nothing wrong with wanting to feed your man!" Kal turned his head to the woman putting on a charming smile, his eyes lit up happily and he turned back to you.
"Cook? You were going to cook for me? Oh mate that’s- thank you love that very thoughtful" you shook your head seeing he was taking the white lie to heart, he must think you were going to start complying with this fucked up 1950s house wife shit show. Mrs Ellis laughed and waved a hand
"Oh dear stop being so fussy!" She turned to Kal rolling her eyes
"Of course she doesn't want to admit it! but she just told me she was off to get groceries she wanted to cook for you...I swear these younger women and their distaste for traditional house wives, seriously raising a family is just as important as any career!" he moved towards you winding an arm around your waist tugging you to his side
"I couldn't agree more~ Family is everything" he spun you around placing a kiss to your cheek in front of the older woman making her coo, he was curling around you putting on a show, making the display look ...Romantic pulling you to him tucking you under his arm. His laugh was all the warning you got before he spoke loud enough for the other neighbors on the near by lawns to hear.
"Really love? Well I thank you, truly I love the idea of you trying to take care of me! but you know I don't need you to do that my love~" he paused to give you a wicked smile self assured in his next little public claim over you
"No no ,I'd much prefer to come home to you ready to try again after all our child wont make itself" Your eyes widened he had practically fucking shouted it! Your neighbor gasped
"O-oh my y/n you failed to mention that you were trying for a baby!..That’s wonderful! you know you'd make an excellent Mother" He stopped and through her a shinning smile
"So we are going to go public love? I mean you were talking about me? And you are Mrs Ellis if I'm not mistaken?" He moved you across to the woman and held out a hand.
"Its very nice to meet you properly ma'am...I’m-" she flushed red and took his hand
"S-superman- I know who you are-" he smiled laughing moving to press a kiss to the top of your head.
"Oh please call me Kal...After all we are going to be neighbors isn't that right love?" You took a deep breath and nodded slowly unable to say anything he was cunning.
"N-neighbors your moving in?" He laughed and squeezed you to him.
"Absolutely! I practically have already...Well I'm afraid that we must be going as I said before our child wont make themselves...Well not on the lawn anyway~" he winked as the older woman blushed fanning herself
"Oh my~ ah and don’t worry about any visitors haha we wont call anyone..If you get my meaning just have fun deary~" he smiled again Thanking her before ushering you into the house slamming the door with finality you knew that Mrs Ellis was already inside on her phone to her friends.
Once inside he quickly grabbed your chin squeezing pinning you back against the wall seething.
"You try to leave this house-Leave me again and I'll melt all the fucking locks and hinges on every door and window~" you whimpered as he moved fishing out your passport and burned hole through it to make a point, you wasn't leaving.Ever. Well...there was one way out.
You can honestly say that was the first time it had truly sunk in. The first time you had considered other more permanent options. It was just a fleeting thought...Until it wasn’t and you sat back really considering it a few days later. The question was could you do it? Could death be an escape from all this madness? From his madness? You shook your head.No. No no you can’t think like that yet...There must be a way! And escape but who the fuck could save you from Superman? Who was it you needed to call? You'd given up for the time being you needed a plan but ass the days became weeks you were loosing hope fast. If you were gonna do it, it had to be sooner rather then later you doubted even you'd be able to do it if you did fall pregnant. Because god help you if you failed and only killed the child...
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You yelped as another loud knock was at your door calling out for you to just answer a few questions. You tucked into a tighter ball whining wanting them to all go away. Suddenly there it was, the sound that made your stomach go cold, Kal had come back you heard the people outside calling out to him in a mad rush, but they sounded less threatening less pushy. You felt him looking at you huddled up in the corner peeking through the walls of the house.
Kal moved slowly down to the ground landing softly in the front yard he turned seeing you there cowering in the living room. He growled at your distress and snapped his head to the reporters a frown on his face. He wanted to burn them for upsetting his mate but instead settled for sweeping them with a fierce look. They each instantly calmed that was then he spoke evenly giving them a sharp look. They disregarded his stern gaze and all bombarded him with questions he knew they wont leave until they had something
"I'd ask that you leave my mate and I alone this...Human kryptonian mating bond has been difficult for us to navigate...And we are not ready to give statements yet..."  he hoped that admitting to a mating bond would give the reporters enough but sighed when it hadn't.
"Mating bond? Like soulmates?" He looked to the reporter and gave a stiff nod
"Yes...As you can imagine with us being...Me being who and what I am it is difficult...And, I find myself driven on...Baser instincts when it comes to her. My need to protect her is....Very hard to control at this time and you have terrified her! She is cowering in her own home so for your own safety I'd ask you to leave" The reporters fell silent when he growled out his last words all thinking the same thing. Did he just threaten them? Rightly or wrongly they didn't want to stay and find out He stood tall arms crossed giving the large group a fierce stern glare ,they each nodded and began to back away all muttering apologies and agreeing to his requests.He turned to you again you felt him you were looking right at him shaking in fear, these animals have frightened you his poor sweet mate. You must have been terrified with them pounding on the door shouting at you all day.
But then again that's what he hoped for, he wants you to move willingly. That is why he decided against just stealing you away while you slept. Now that he was here with you the urge to fly of into the sunset with you had died down, he hopes that if you still want to leave this house you will ask him to take you away.
That way he could take you to his prepared home in Kansas a small ranch miles away from ...Well everything! It was perfect and if anything goes awol he shouldn't have to chase you down and correct you, oh no you'd come crawling back! It was nearly a twelve hour walk across flat crop fields of course he wouldn't have a vehicle on the property and if you did try to leave hoofing it for all that time it was flat ground surrounding the property one high fly and he'd have your location asap and have you home for a punishment.
Maintaining the place shouldn't be hard the crops he could do himself in seconds when the time came..Everyone always did call him a farm-boy and it was true he was a farm-boy at heart. There was electricity but no phone there's no internet either he would bring you books and films or supplies for any hobby you'd like and you could redecorate until your hearts content. But bottom line was you'd be safe not only that being so far from everyone meant your children would have space to practice there abilities unhindered. Soon. He whispered to himself very soon.
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He smiled at you, trying to calm you even if you couldn't see it. He gave one final scowl to the crowd who whether it be instinct or primal fear of him,  they had listened and began leaving. He stayed outside the house guarding you as they slowly trickled away.Once they were all gone he moved up to the house knocking.
"Love....Love they are gone now, come on open up little mate....Mate stop I know your scared and upset but please I've dealt with it your safe now.....My heart?...I will break the door if you don't let me in...One...Two..Two and a half ...Three...Okay you asked for it-" you opened it with a quick scrabbling motion. He smiled quickly stepping over the threshold collecting you in his arms kicking the door shut. You trembled against him they had frightened you! He admonished. You wept into his chest, you had no choice he had smothered you. He held you tightly hushing and cooing at you whispering soft words of encouragement.
"My sweet little mate don't cry, shh I'm here now and I made them leave see?" You nodded at him still shaken you wanted to leave, you wanted out! of this house, the country this whole situation.
But there was no escape! he will not let you leave him, but maybe if you asked he would come to? let you at least move to an new house that didn't have so many bad memories, tho you were better in a sense you wasn't as paranoid or frantic you knew it was him and he didn't hide anymore he flaunted it as much as he could. He was now trapping you in a different sense creating an image of being a consenting loving couple just like the stupid papers said. You sobbed pressing your palms to his chest leaning back to look up at him.
"I-I can't stay here! Kal please...This house I just can't...Can I?...Can I go see that house?...The one in central city?-" he tensed squeezing your arms making you wince growling at you his eyes becoming a bright red for a second then dimmed back to his normal aqua.
"NO! NO YOU MAY NOT!" You cringed trembling he grit his teeth you looked down tears starting anew shaken to the core, this man, this alien terrified you he was obsessive and a fantasist, he was strong, far to strong just one misplaced squeeze of a finger and you were a goner. He took a breath and moved pinching your chin softly making you meet his gaze.
"I'm sorry love...Your not leaving me, I couldn't bare to lose you not now..Not ever" your heart dropped to your stomach at his words you knew that you couldn't escape him but you couldn't stay here either! you swallowed blinking and tried to reason with him, plead with him to grant even the smallest of mercies.
"Then...Then somewhere here! A house they don't know! Please please I can't stay here! They will be back! Please Kal I'm begging you, I'm scared Kal I don't want them to know where I live...Please?" he stayed silent looking down at you he supposed letting you look for somewhere in Metropolis wasn't a bad idea, you were already referring to him for permission. Trusting his judgment letting him take the lead as a good little female does, acknowledging him as your mate and higher up. He could just turn down all the options until you ask him to choose then he can finally bring you home willingly just as he planned.
"I will think about it...I may have just the place for us~...But that is for another day for now its time for us to try again...I still haven't bred you today and your ovulating again" you closed your eyes as he moved closer taking a deep breath smelling your neck then lower pressing the tip of his nose to the top of your breast.
"You smell-your scent is...UGH fuck its divine your skin it just releases it-its like a fucking drug!" You trembled looking down with little hope already knowing how this ends before its begun. He moved back a step and pressed a hand to your stomach, he still hadn't taken it was a shame but he would not let it faze him, he had a plan and he would continue filling you until you were carrying his child.
"Come love things will be better once your growing with my seed" you whimpered at the thought and shook our head.
"Kal I don't want I'm not ready-"
"Of course you are! I can fucking smell it your body is screaming out for me! Stop saying stupid things!" He snapped before you even finished your sentence, you looked down trying to hold back tears and shook you didn't want to do anything with him, yet refusing will only drag out the whole ordeal making it painful.
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You knew that last few weeks had been a dream for him a fantasy of his own making. Being with you making sure you were 'safe' he was always happy sleeping in the same bed after rutting and filling your tight little cunt for what felt like hours. He had hoped that you'd be pregnant by now but never complained for long he enjoyed the intimacy, loved holding you down and painting your insides marking your womb as his territory in the most carnal and depraved ways.
He was a monster driven on pure feral instinct, he had explained it may be hard for you to fall pregnant due to the kryptonian's past that was his excuse to fucking you every which way filling you as many times as he could until your stomach was distended and swollen. He had explained in his lust fueld rants as he impaled you down onto his fat shaft that he wasn't sure why his kind had resorted to the artificial chambers to produce children. He did however assume it was because there was a problem with conceiving naturally. You'd once asked snidely if it was even possible for him to impregnate you it had been a bad day and you for some reason wanted to provoke him, make him as upset as you.
It did the trick he became enraged with the possibility but instead of pulling out from your bruised body and leaving in a mood like you'd hoped. He had done the opposite and had fucked you for nearly twenty four hours straight, the only break you had was to use the bathroom and that had driven him further into his frenzy claiming you were trying to dispose yourself of his cum. Trying to wash away his hard work! that you were refusing to fall pregnant as if by some magical way you had control of it! He had been brutal in his thrusts once you began to chafe he had kindly provided you with his own freezing cold saliva again making sure you felt thoroughly punished with each almost violent thrust.
You'd bled that night. He had been to rough and had torn you. 'Nothing you didn't deserve' at least that's what he had said. It was your fault apparently for resisting him and wriggling to much, you had laid there and cried sobbed your heart out for hours. It was hour later when he began to get worried as the bleeding slowed but did not stop he had held you tightly stroking your tummy. He shushed you before doing the most traumatic thing he'd ever done to you. Something you'd never forget or forgive him for putting you through. The tear was small but bled quite a bit and was in a tricky spot seemingly at the back of your opening each time you moved the bleeding picked up again so he had decided to cauterize to wound. You'd screamed and thrashed crying louder then before kicking out at him as he held your legs wide and 'healed' you. That was the first time you'd begged him to kill you. He brushed off your pleas just thinking that you had a low pain tolerance. But it wasn't, in that excruciating moment you wanted him to do it, to just hurry up and end you but he had laughed you off and gotten you an ice pack instead ordering you to lay splayed with your wound covered while he had a shower and left you in the bedroom alone.
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That had been just over a week ago and was the last time he'd had you he was almost certain he had taken and wanted to let you recover but with his eyes he could see you had not been fertilized and was now once again determined to have you again despite the wound nearly completely healed you were terrified of going through that ordeal again.
He moved you both into the house away from the door moving you to the stairs. You twisted in his grasp trying to capture the banister as he made his way up the stairs he just sighed continuing forcing you to let got and screech at him.
"No Kal! Please KAL NO!" he clicked his tongue at you and began scolding you moving to tug you up the stairs by one large hand engulfing your bicep tugging harshly making you cry out as your hand slipped off the polished wooden post and you stumbled hitting your knees on the step before you and cried out again.
"F-FUCK AH NO! KAL NOT AGAIN PLEASE" you took a breath trying to make him see sense
"K-kal I-I'm not healed enough-" he just raised his arm pulling your back up he was stoic as he dragged you behind him warning and cooing at you all in one as he spoke.
"Love! what have I said about all that noise?..Now that's enough if they phone the police again you wont be answering the door in a sheet! Oh no ,I'll be answering it with you split open on my cock! And let everyone in the street see how good your cunt looks wrapped around it! now stop all this silliness you know that I will win in the end~" his voice was stern and exasperated like trying to talk sense in to a naughty child.
"K-kal I'm not refusing you please PLEASE JUST JUST LISTEN!...Your supposed to wait at least two weeks after you tear- even after birth its two to four weeks-pleas I don't want to, if we do and something goes wrong kal I might not be able to give birth properly later!" You panicked trying to convince him to say anything that would make him stop for a second. He smiled and pulled you closer tucking your head to his chest.
"Oh love no~no its not the same I healed you remember? It helped you! it wasn’t stitches I closed the wound my love your fine now and besides you’d have another nine months to heal...I'm not going to fuck you once your pregnant well not there anyway~...I’d never ever risk our child like that now trust me!" You cried really not wanting him to get angry like last time but you couldn't help but struggle against him it was just a natural reaction you did want it! Not only that you had anxiety over it now that he had hurt you accidentally, it brought home the fact that he was an alien. He moved to hold both of our arms tugging you forward and up onto his shoulder. He was worried he didn't want to break your fingers by tugging to hard when you latched onto the door frames and such.
"No! can we-KAL WAIT!-No can't we have dinner first or-or something Kal please- Please not now! not now!" You yelped kicking and slapping at him trying to get him to put you back down quickly becoming desperate to get away. He laughed twisting you out of the door frames reach as he entered the bedroom.
"Nonsense why eat now just to build up an appetite when I'm filling you~ Now I really would be quiet if I was you I'm not sure if all the media have left or not you don't want them to overhear and have an article about that now do you?" you froze gobsmacked was he teasing or being serious at this point you couldn't tell he would do and say anything to get you to be compliant, all you could do was whine and panic you knew it was futile to resist but it was ...It was hard.
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You snapped at him trying to bite  at his neck as Kal had made it into the bed room and was lowering you. He caught your jaw swiftly.
"Bit at me again my love and I will bite back much harder" You struggled feebly against his hand on your jaw he gave a quick shake of your face.
"Understand?" You looked up tearfully
"I said do you understand female?" You shuddered at the dark voice the pure alpha male tone he managed that shamefully aroused you, you nodded meekly as much as you could with the vice like grip on your face he just nodded with a quiet 'good girl' then proceeded to launch you through he room you landed with and indignant squeak you rolled over to your back watching him approach through teary eyes.
"I am growing tired of this love...I have decided that I should resort to some more...Traditional methods with you" you held up your hands willing him away he mocked you slightly as he stood at the bottom of the bed moving to pull himself free from the suit.
"W-what do y-you mean?" You choked on a sob eyes cast over him seeing just what was awaiting you as his cock strained against the fabric.
"Oh my love come now your a clever girl~ I'm sure you'll realize soon enough...I don't know why your whimpering so? And kicking up such a fuss you always enjoy it in the end why all this fighting? I make you cum don't I? make you see stars as I make love to you? I don't have to,  I could just rip into you unprepared, fuck you dry but do I? No because I love you and I want our love making to be pleasurable for the both of us...Shh come on love...I wont dry fuck you...I promise....It would be to much for your tiny body....Look ok just lay back I promise I will be gentle this time~" his reassurance did nothing to calm you as he slipped completely out of the suit letting it fall carelessly to the floor. "I said lay back...Do not test me mate"
You weighed up the options and shuffled back to the head board whimpering as he approached you the muscles above his huge cock were tensing making the thick angry rod slap on his stomach leaving tiny spots of pre-cum across it the veins throbbing bulging much like the rest of him. He tilted his head at you waiting at the end on the bed.
"Mate come on~ won't you lay down for me? Be a good girl I've told you I'm not going to be rough today I promise-"
"Your always rough! You always hurt me!" You shouted already panicking not wanting him to touch you at all you cowered from him trying to curl tighter into a smaller ball willing him to leave you alone. He clenched his jaw neck twitching then dropped his head looking to the stiff cock jutting out and sighed.
"..I will admit our size difference can cause our lovemaking to be uncomfortable-" you growled at him
"NO! NOT JUST THAT YOU HURT ME KAL EVERYTIME YOU FORCE ME!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD BEHAVE!" You squeaked covering your ears his voice so loud it hurt, he sighed moving a hand through his hair. He hated this, your fear and refusal of him, he tried not to get mad but it was frustrating dealing with it, you-he his soul was bonded to yours yet you didn't feel a thing! He always got the brunt of it! It wasn't fair!
"I'm strong! And I-I struggle with my strength and humans! Especially you! I don't mean to hurt you but- your mine! My mate and I have a right to fuck you and fill you as I see fit. Now lay down just lay down LAY DOWN!" You tensed as he raised his voice he was going red and quivered. You feared one day he would accidentally snap a bone or-or puncture something whilst holding you down...Maybe that's why you did it? So he would kill you put an end to all this? It was the only way you were getting away.
Your thoughts were interrupted as Kal gripped and ankle and pulled ripping the leg straight and yanking you down the bed before flipping you to your stomach you scrabbled trying to get away but he struck you. His heavy palm landed o your cheeks your leggings offered no protection as his hot hand spanked you. You screamed out tensing your ass as he continued
"Its time you behaved! Time you realized your place! You are my mate-my lover mine! You hear me? MINE! And you will start to act like it or face consequences! Now get your clothes off and lay down like a good loving MATE, I'll not have you ruin a chance to conceive because your being a silly little human! These games stop now!" You wailed kicking out at him hurting your own foot scrabbling pulling the covers beneath you trying to get away but all you did was bundle the sheets at your tummy. Your foot throbbed from connecting with his hard frame one foot was still in his grasp he used it to tug you closer landing sharper blows to your thighs you wailed sobbing and rolled trying to throw him off but he twisted his hand placing you back on your front. His hand seemed to get heavier with each blow bruising and stinging your flesh all in one you screeched high as he moved and struck you harder still on the underside of your cheeks his large palm covering both at once, finally he stopped and threw your foot down to the mattress in frustration you cried sobbing pitifully in to your pillow that you'd dragged down in your bid to crawl away.
That was the first time he'd done that, he must be getting frustrated with you now he moved over clutching your throbbing cheeks digging in his fingertips to border pain.
"That is what I mean about traditional methods... You will be a good mate, a good obedient female, wife and mother! You will do as you are told when you are told or I will bring you to hand. Right now I am telling you, get your clothes off and ready yourself! Its time to be bred woman..Now move before you really have something to cry about!" You got up on hands and knees shaking through your sobs and tugged off your tshirt. It was no use maybe you should just give in...Find something in this fucked up relationship to cling to...Could you ignore him?  and the things he did if you had a baby? A child to fawn over and use that to forget your fear and hate of its father?
Kal shifted pleased you were doing as you were told and he couldn't wait to see his marks on your ass. He should have spanked you weeks ago! It seemed to do the trick getting you back into line. Sure it was a little ...undignified but you needed a firm hand! He had known that for a while but had been putting it off worried you'd stray to far from him...But who was he kidding? he loved you and you him, you were mates and once pregnant you'd feel it to he knew you would you had to...and even if you didn't its not like you could disappear with his child, the world knew you were his the league knew and were keeping tabs on you and if all fails and the ranch in Kansas doeskin work there's always the fortress.
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You were strange and confusing, for a few days you'd be docile and compliant a perfect house wife, cooking and cleaning letting him do as he pleased. Then you'd act up and need a little reminding of your place, he thought he could fuck the point across to you but spanking had yeilded better results already. He bit his lip as you curled your fingers around the elastic of your leggings and pulled them down slowly revealing a red bottom. His cock jerked. Fuck that was- there was something sexy about your meek demeanor doing as you were told, pulling your own bottoms down and showing off a beautiful round blistered little ass.
Once the bottoms where at your knees Kal moved forward grabbing them and yanked pulling them completely off. You moved to lay down as he had been ordering you to but he caught your tender ass in his hands you whined when he did, his hand caressed your sore bottom reminding you of his ownership.
"Now if you'd been good you would be allowed to lay back and be ravished nicely I'd make you cum before fucking you.... But now your not ,oh no now your in for a harsh fuck-getting a fucking with a sore ass!...I'm sorry love but this is for your own good,you have to learn mate" he moved a hand across your back fisting it in your hair and tugged craning your neck back you whimpered tears falling from your eyes and you pleaded trying to reason with him.
"K-kal I'm sorry please please don't hurt me- I don't mean to-"
"shh shh my love I know...I know its your human flaw...But you must understand you cannot fight me you can't fight this" he moved his hand in your hard releasing the tendrils and rubbed your scalp slowly with sting fingers almost lovingly.
"We-we can never be apart not now! I've mated you bonded to you on such a deep level, I just wish you'd understand...I love you! And I know you love me so why fight this? You could have everything human women ever dream of! A home, a husband and children! But you-why don't you accept that! Its what I'm offering you! What I want...Its what I'm OWED!" He moved his hands to your hips and brought you back against him his hard cock slipping between your legs running the top of it past your folds in slow fucking motions rocking you across him you cringed but bit you lip not wanting to provoke him further.
"After everything Ive been through!!..I you...You think growing up here was easy for me? Oh no I had to hide love! These powers they- I didn't understand what I was! I kept to myself was ridiculed bullied and cast out! For staying away protecting them!! Then as I grew it got worse! Alone traveling the only person I had was my human mother! Then I saved earth but it wasn't enough! ITS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU!" As he spoke he began grunting slipping his hot throbbing cock between your labia ghosting your clit making you whine trying to move away but his hands held you controlling your motions as he pressed his head into your shoulders continuing he rambles letting go of some of the baggage.
"I was hailed a hero and fucking turned on when the bill came through!..I saved your race- your planet...Fuck I died! I DIED! To save you again broke my Mothers heart and even then you couldn't let me rest! All you humans do is take take take! Your spoilt and selfish...But now,its my turn!OH FUCK YES AUGH" he moved faster bringing a hand around your front moving to your swollen clit as much as you tried to resist him it was to much, his fingers plucked away at your little nub like a vibrator pulsing on your sensitive flesh before jerking it between his fingers pulling and pinching as his cock ran lengths over your now weeping hole. You grunted softly dropping your head low as your legs trembled under the pleasure you stomach clenching and tensing with his torturous movements, the walls of you cunt quivered contracting wetting his cock even more as it begged to be filled.
"That’s it-fuck yes that's it mate get me nice and ready~ nice and wet ready to fuck you full again~I will save you you know, save all of you again and again ,but I know I will still be told to leave! But I wont not when I'm finally finally given something! Something of my own! To cherish, To love! A mate! You you've given me the prospect of a family and love and acceptance if only you wasn't a human! Why did you have to be human?! You are being selfish just like the rest! But no more...You will not be a selfish woman any more my love~ I've seen your heart-you love and care and want everyone to be better~ I will save you, I will guide you to be better, we will be better~ you'll see!" You moaned as his fingers moved down to press his crown against your twitching muscles you jerked forward moaning crying out again
"NO! NO PLE-KAL PLEASE DON'T PLEASE IM NOT-IM NOT READY I DON'T WANT IT!" He growled grabbing you around your throat squeezing threateningly you gulp as he slowly closed your airways.
"Stay very still~ don't you move love its time~ time to do your duty-your job! Time for you to accept me and my seed to be full and dripping and claimed" you winced gasping for air his voice was different darker more menacing it frightened you more then anything he had ever done he sounded mad truly and utterly stark raving mad. In the panic you moved bringing both hands to his wrists for a second ignoring the thick shaft poised at your waiting hot core.
"K-kal? Kal your-ah fu-fuck I cant- kal breath!" You tried gasping out words to him, you were unable to breath properly fighting his grip for air especially when his hand returned to torment your clit flicking and twisting it almost harshly. You bucked whining unable to stop your grinding as he chuckled his hot breath fanning over you back. He moved leaning over your back harsh words whispered into your ear.
"You know I could just fuck you passed out~ it'd be easier." He chuckled kissing at your earlobe taking it between his teeth and sucking then released.
"But I wont~ I like the sounds you make when you try to deny your body...When you try to ignore my cock as it plunges into your hot little cunt splitting you open and lodges itself inside you spraying your insides drenching your womb until I'm certain no more can fit...Pumping you full like a little whore~" you moaned as  the head of his girth pressed at your opening instantly making your body lurch towards him. He chuckled and moved releasing your neck before you could catch your breath you yelped loud as he bucked forward spearing you back onto him. You clenched your fists into the covers below you embarrassed at how easily he entered you, your juices making his... journey much easier.  He left your clit alone but you still quivered this time around his cock that stretched your insides.
"AAAHH AH FUCK YES THATS IT! GOD GOOD GIRL...SUCH A GOOD MATE!" You whimpered as he pulled back and began rocking slowly making you feel every deep thrust as his head bounced off of your cervix, something you were now used to. You winced as he ploughed into you latching onto your neck suckling dark marks int to soft skin,  biting at your shoulders hard leaving the indentations of his teeth growling and grunting the whole way. You moaned as he tilted his hips and began rutting faster and harder you blushed hearing the wet slurping sounds as your sopping cunt fought to have him inside you. It made you feel sick
"Okay love see Uggghhh fuck yes that’s- oh fuck now remember deep breath one two THREE! Ahughh my god shit shit I'm there, I'm there! Fuck!" You hissed grunting painfully as on three he slammed you back jamming his cock past your tiny soft opening like he did every time he could and held still for a few moments. He caught his breath hissing you simply stayed still at this point what will be will be. You gasped when he began his assault humping and fucking you hard and fast there was no messing around he wanted you full, to cum again and again inside your womb. A man on a mission you squeaked as each thrust of his hips made him slap against your hot bottom his thick thighs punishing you out side as his cock brutalized your insides. It was a terrible mix of pain and pleasure as his heavy full sack swung hitting your engorged clit on each motion of his pistoning hips. He moaned louder and louder as you bit your lip you didn't want him to hear you cum. But you was going to! His body covering yours the sloppy kisses to your neck and the pants his growls in your ears as his cock toyed with your insides swelling and throbbing setting fires in your nerves you bucked back to him you couldn't help it! Maybe you were mates? Maybe that's why you couldn't resist him in the end?
You reared up as he got to much your body shuddering and tensing muscles feeling like they would snap under the pressure. He chuckled feeling you squeeze him trying to milk him.
"See?~ I told you in the end you know who you belong to~ now cum! Cum for me! Your mate your lover cum for your husband!" You did in one silent scream you bucked grinding back on him clamping down on his cock just as his balls tightened and released you shuddered whining as he held you firm against him his sack pressed tight to your little bud almost pinching it between your  two body's. He grunted through laughs looking down rolling his hips slowly making sure you got everything!
"Good...I will never get tired of this~ your body so tiny ans tight but perfect...Made just for me the perfect size for me to breed you~ I love you mate so so much and I will never let you go ever....Now just here move forward..." he shuffled forward kneeling on the bed and pulled you from your doggy position the held your legs spread wide over his knees cock still fully seated inside your core.
"There we go....Yes I know your all tired already just let me do it ...Right there we are stay!" And stay you did. He wasn't done once was never enough he would go as long as he pleased. It was only a few moments later he had sat his ass on the soles of his fee and began thrusting again holding your hips dragging you up and down his flexing thighs feeding you the length of his cock readying you for the second load of the night.
You wept silently into the covers as he moved your body to suit him ,separating yourself from the act trying to ignore the way his meaty cock dragged along your insides sparking the lustful tremors all over again, trying to drown out the sounds of his grunts and praise than and the sounds that escaped you every few breaths quiet gasps and mewls. It was hard but you knew you could blank all of this at least until you came again which you would, you always did maybe that what mates are? He could rape you and you'd still enjoy it? You cant deny the man made you cum again and again, he forced your body to accept him and gave you mind numbing orgasms. Is that what it meant to be mated by a kryptonian? To be raped and feel sick and ashamed of yourself,  to be a fuck toy! A brood mare! No you will not-you will not live your life serving this aliens sex slave fantasy....You were not sex on a shelf!
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Clark looked at you as you curled up around the sheets pulling them to your lightly bulged stomach. You were beautiful the red hand prints for your spanking during your love making glowed a light pink and your skin was still decorated with his cum. You'd fallen asleep exhausted before you could run and wipe yourself down like you usually tried to do as soon as he was done.
He growled nostrils flaring this was how he liked you most, fucked out on the bed wearing his cum like a fucking perfume, proof of his love scattered in bites and bruises he had sucked into your skin and finally his hand prints littering your hips waist and arms, he had proven himself to be a strong male again; the perfect male to father strong and healthy children. There was a shiver down his spine that stopped right at his cock, yes he would be a perfect father and mate if only you could feel things like he did.
He growled when the scent of his cum got a little too strong moving to lean over you from above you from the head of the bed, he needed to check and make sure you held his seed long enough! you were curled on your side. He tutted the scent had spiked because you was leaking , he watched as a steady slow stream of creamy seed was escaping all over the sheets, he grumbled 'Its no use on the fucking bed!' he had no choice he had to move you.
You groaned in your sleep but other then that didn't stir he smiled he had done well today! You were in a deep sleep he sat up at the head of the bed legs together and settled you to rest on them, he pulled you up until your shoulders leaned on his abdomen sitting you up slightly then once settled he bent his legs feet flat on the bed taking you with them. He held your knees and pulled up curving you, angling your center up on his thighs. He wanted so desperately to keep you full, his need to breed you was almost painful.
He hoped that his plan will work, he had summarized that your failing to conceive was...well it must be a punishment! He had tried to force kryptonian life mate ideals onto a human, that would never work...No he had to have you as a human to, had to marry you then-then you would be fully his accepting him as your husband and fall pregnant! That was what human women did! What they were taught to do even the nursery rhyme 'First comes love, then comes marriage then comes a baby in a baby carriage!' The idea of children after marriage was so ingrained to young girls that it has to be the reason it must be it! He couldn't think of anything else.
He wasn't sterile! He can't be he was a strong fit healthy male and he wasn't shooting blanks either he-his it just never seemed to take. It must be some strange clause in the mating because he has had you so many times fucking you until your overflowing. 
He has been careful to hold you still like this to give you the best chance and to watch you making sure your not getting rid of him now...But it just something was wrong by all the times he has cum inside you, bypassing your cervix and flooding your womb he should have taken root! He sighed looking you over again sniffing the air, you weren’t leaking anymore he would hold you like this for a while longer then lay you down to rest himself. He didn't need sleep as such but there was something humbling about waking beside you, hearing your soft snores and for a moment all was right in his world. The sun peeking through the blinds, the glow lighting up the room and he could pretend he was waking beside his wife. Sometimes he would close his eyes smiling and listen to the heart beat of one of the neighbors and pretend it was that of his child in the other room sleeping soundly. He opened his eyes looking down at you with a soft grin kissing your head then placed his chin on your shoulder looking down to your slightly bulged stomach still full of him. Today was not the day. But he stayed still watching his seed hopeful.
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You woke up the next day the sun peeking through the partially opened blinds letting streams of the golden rays flood into the room. You groaned back aching you twisted slowly realising why. Your hips had been placed on not one not two but three pillows tilting your weight to rest on your shoulders you were tilted quite far, causing your back to bow and curve as if you were leaning forward. You blinked waving your arms around still half asleep you heard a page turn beside you, grunting you rolled over to your side hissing at the knots in your back pulled.
Kal was lounging on his side curved around slightly looking down he was you reading?... He tilted his head scanning the page and spoke still not looking up.
"Morning love..Did you sleep well?" You scoffed
"No...My back hurts...did you keep me like that all night?" He chuckled at you a grin on his lips.
"Yes...I have to try and keep you full how else will I get the job done? You seem to enjoy thwarting my efforts.." he finally looked up at you.
"But..I understand, well I figured it out a few days ago actually...You know I love this picture...The day I found you" his smile was bright it unnerved you.
"What-what are you? I-is that the daily planet?!"
"Yes...I popped out and got it this morning there is a cute little piece on us~ right here" You scrabbled up onto your knees ripping the paper away from him.
"Hey I was reading that!" You quickly scanned the page he was on...Another article on the both of you, 'Children before Marriage? A first hand account from neighbor Mrs Ellis' fuck. You swore and cringed dreading what she was going to have said but had the paper pulled from Your hands by Kal.
"That’s enough of that love! Don’t need you getting worked up! Not with today's plans anyway....now up and at em shower then get ready we have a very special day ahead of us!" You slowly turned to him a sinking feeling in your stomach.
"Why-Kal whats going on? That article who wrote it? I don't understand whats it about!?" He opened his mouth and looked down to the words.
"Nothing much, just that we are trying for a baby already and a few tid bits from what I told the press yesterday that your my life mate and as a inter-species couple we are still finding our way! It would seem a Clark Kent had managed to sneak back and wrangle an interview! I don't really mind it clears up some confusion." You frowned but Kal just grinned and leaned over you, trying to avoid him you shifted back and fell to the pillows behind you he laughed and rolled over you.
"Mate as eager as you are to be beneath me now is not the time~ we are finally making us official!" He leaned in taking in a huge breath smelling you still not pregnant but ovulating with any luck tonight was the night he just had to tread carefully now until today was done no point in letting you act up when he took you out.
He moved kissing your lips opening his eyes letting the red seep into them the threat he now knew worked not that he'd ever do it but you didn't seem to know that , he moved his mouth opening and closing in a sloppy kiss coaxing you to obey and open your mouth. You were getting better slowly. He was looking forward to today, would there be a frenzy? Yes. Would he regret it absolutely not. He had mated you as a kryptonian, fucked and claimed you as he believed his own race does to their mates. Now it was time to mate you as a human complete your binding as life mates then maybe you will finally fall pregnant.
Today unbeknown to you was your wedding day. Kal suckled your tongue groaning as you whined pressing your hands to his shoulders pushing but he crawled up over you rubbing his hands on your legs then stomach. He pulled away leaving you breathless and smiled, he always did love seeing you flushed and panting, pride flooded him as he looked on at you. His mate, his lover and today you would become his wife!
"Now I want your hair up today....Curly but leave a few curls around your face.And secure! We are going flying" Flying? Good with any luck he'd fucking drop you on a telecom's tower and it'd put you out of your misery! Unaware of your morbid thoughts He moved back off of you completely and walked around the bed to the bath room you cringed watching his half hard cock swinging with each step...You wish he would get some other clothes here and cover up you didn't need to see the object of your torture every morning. You shuffled back clamping your legs shut tight after seeing his cock half hard. Kal looked down with a chuckle.
"No...not now love! Gosh you are an insatiable thing aren’t you~ no that is for later for now you just relax as I said today is a big day for you...For us now hurry up"
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Sunday Stumped Day 35
It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!
Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on. 
In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories.   If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks. 
If  you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/  ask/  with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks.  Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.
Thanks!
Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26,  Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.
576.  Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions:  Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?
577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕
578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!
579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕
580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx
581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help
582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?
(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose
583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)
584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺
(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams
585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!
586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!
587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?
588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗
588 FOUND!  Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose
589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple
589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author.  Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback​
590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?
591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.
592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!
593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3
593 FOUND!  The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8
594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....."  That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)
(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8
595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!
(595)  FOUND by the asker!  Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder
596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an
Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!
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crossovereddie · 3 years
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Thoughts on S11xE2
It’s 2am. I just finished nursing Giddy. I cant sleep. Let’s get this episode watched and this recap uploaded.
I really hate Carl being a c*p
Oh gosh that shakey cam was making me sick
Franny is so cute
I want a daughter now :(
Ugh sandy pls be my son’s step mom
Omg Mickey’s robe is perfect
Withholding sex when your husband looks like THAT?! Good luck ian
Oh shit I forgot about Kermit and tommy
Lip talking to Fred and talking for Fred. I feel that
Oh gosh is ian doesn’t lick that jam off mickeys chest
IM LIVING FOR HIS ROBE
A whole Mickey only scene just for me????
“Why don’t you mind your own fucking business Jerome” PLEASE
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
PLEASE JUST LET ME CUDDLE HIM
I LOVE HIM
FUCK IVE WATCHED THIS SCENE LIKE FIVE TIMES ALREADY
IM THE HAPPIEST RIGHT NOW
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH SO SO SO MUCH
SO FUCKING MUCH
Fuck that guy working with ian
I might start skipping Carl scenes and I hate that for me
Aaaaaand I’m back to watching that Mickey scene
Okay back on track
I’m stressing out over frank kev and Vee them not wearing their masks
Okay sandy I love you but put your mask on baby
You too Tami wtf you have a baby
Maybe stop spending so much fucking money on coffee every morning
Okay I’ll stop
I just can’t stand her guy and everything she does annoys me
Mickeys resume 😂😂😂
Hi sweet baby boy could you please put your mask on precious? Thank you so much my love
Please cover your whittle nosey before I boop it
“Oh I’m not into that shit anymore I got married” STOP LMAO
The interviewer is smitten. Me too
HIS RP IM DEAD
“I really wanna make it work here”
HES TRYING SO HARD
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
“Fuck you fuck you and especially fuck you” IM DEADDDD
He really tried im so sad
I just want the best for him
Dang now I’m craving brownies not weed brownies regular brownies
Is it too late to make some?
IM LIVING FOR MICKEY HAVING SCENES ON HIS OWN
I love him 😭😭😭😭😭
Lip is so cute
I want sandy to call me babe 😭😭😭
Omg I’m obsessed with that bounce house
Quick little Mickey
Mickey backing up into the parking space....that’s hot
He’s such a little business man I’m so proud
That girl with Carl is so hot
I’m so bi 😩
I’m so sleepy right now
Frank is right tho kev and vee didn’t do shit
Everyone wearing crowns is so cute
This party is weird as hell
Mickey is an uncle 😭😭😭
“Yay guns!”
“Let’s play” “you got it kid” IM REALLY NOT GONNA SURVIVE
WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME
HES SO FUCKING PRECIOUS
“Uncle Mickey”
SHE FUCKING SAID UNCLE MICKEY
UNCLE MICKEY
U N C L E M I C K E Y
I wish Mickey wore a crown too
King of shameless
I’m so in love with Sandy Milkovich
“I don’t do normal”
MICKEY RUBBING MONEY ON HIMSELF I CANT BELIEVE
“Suck that dick Benjamin Franklin” STOP LMAO
“You can fuck off George Washington you cheap as motherfucker”
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
THE DOLLAR BILLS ON IAN PLS STOP I CANT STOP LAUGHING WHY IS HE THE DUMBEST I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
Ian’s self control is incredible
I actually really enjoyed this episode and that hasn’t happened in a while. It was so fun! I’ll be back next week hopefully. Now I gotta go get some sleep because I already know I’m gonna regret staying up in the morning.
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