#i cant believe someone got me it

[pa-pa-plasma]

#polls #tumblr polls #fanfiction #fanfic #archive of our own #ao3 #believe it or not this isn't actually for like. me needing to know about hiatuses #this is just a sneaky way of finding out. something else #Danny Phantom #;) #on an unrelated note how do you feel about waiting somewhere between 2-9 months for a fic to continue on its original course? #it's probably closer to 2 if i actually do it #i mean the fic would still be updating but it would be. uh. spoiler alert cant say it'd just be 2~ months til the main storyline continues #i've been given the go ahead from someone who knows about it all but i need to know how people feel about rereading #it wouldnt be rereading but there would be an element of things repeating. it would seem to be repeating at first but isnt #oh my.... wait no.... i think i just realized where i got this idea from & it's killing me how i failed to see this sooner #literally listening to the soundtrack & watching all versions of it bro. i'm an ADHD stereotype #anyway the reason i want to know this is that. this part of the fic can be skipped. you dont NEED to read it #but you would need to wait for the rest of the fic to continue if you choose not to read it #it IS kinda important. it's just. A Lot #okay saying it's skippable but also important seems weird but trust me it's all in the name of beating this kid to the ground #''character development'' no. character deterioration #how can i make him better if he isn't super fucked up #he can't have a mental breakdown if he's happy. & i need him to have a mental breakdown #yeah im going the psychological torture route #also this isnt about timeloops btw. it might sound like it but it's not

[poepill]

happy belated valentines day quodo upon thee! originally posted on ao3 for the quodo minifest, this was my valentines for @chacusha, who organized the event! i had a ton of fun drawing them and im definitely looking forward to next year <333

+ bonus art based on the comic by Kate Beaton, Javert is in Slash Fiction:

#quodo #quodo minifest #star trek #star trek ds9 #Quark/Odo Kiss ///REAL NOT FAKE/// CLICK HERE>>>>> #did someone say quodo rights night??? either way Here it IS <3 #i added image descriptions to the alt text but let me know if you need them visible under the post as well! #initially i was going to post this to twitter months ago but alas. re: the state of things and life in general #anyway this was so much fun !! it literally got me motivated to draw...i couldn't stop i had to keep going and did another...then another.. #i should compile all the other drawing i did of them bc oh Boy there were a Few #also getting odo's features just right was harder than i thought. meanwhile quark was like BOOM! there he is :) #also did u see the shoe. did u see the shine did u see it. bc i swear im never coloring shoes again #all the refs i had to use.....and if you think i exaggerated quark's fat ass well Think Again i only took from Reality! it's all there bby #my obligatory one art post a year....what was my art tag again.......oh well time to revamp it #myart #also pls go read the other fics!! i know i made a post of this before but i cant believe the one i received back...kisses them. #it was perfect! literally made for me! in fact im reading it right now! wedding of the century by sirenoftitan and Boy was it ever!!!

[skunkes]

#talkys #delete later #(this is a meme redraw) #ruined my life is a strong word. and of course theres lots of self blame and obvs ive probably wronged lots of people before #and i dont deserve unending torture for it. right. like part of me doesnt even actually feel ill will toward the other party #because whatever! normal human experience! #the other part is like ohhh okay you lied to and kinda used me + treated me badly then lied again to the point where i found out the truth #from another party so you didnt even have to fess up yourself and now you're back to being happy as if nothing happened #i was just a stepping stone i was just a distraction. ok! #like for real actually ok ^_^ it literally happens to ppl all the time... #<- he keeps experiencing waves of horrific sense of self worth that already wasnt Too Great as a result #ugh. and thats nobody's fault but my own right.... but idk. i cant believe it...! i cant believe someone treated me dis way #and i let it happen... and i would have let it keep happening if an end hadnt been put to it by someone else.... #but still. at the end of the day i was the only one left with these thoughts. ykwim. other party has forgotten. got happy ending. #doesnt deserve ''consequences'' but still feels horrific to see and think about. you know? #i literally got all the bad. throughout and after.

[every-sanji]

#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #everysanji #thriller bark #ch462 #theres been someone whose been slowly reblogging some of my like. really old posts #and doing some absolutely fantastic character analysis in the tags #but oh my god you're reminding me of the cringe captions i used to leave on every post #i did that FOR LIKE. IM PRETTY SURE OVER A YEAR. #IF IT WASNT SO LONG I'D GO BACK AND EDIT ALL OF THEM BUT EUGH #all but one i think the birthday post was funny okay that one was funny and i had to consolidate so much to get it to post on the right day #god. i cant believe this will probably post after the blog anniversary #4 years of every sanji. how do we feel guys #as of queuing this i have uh. 2302 followers and i'll probably have a few more by the time you actually see this #absolutely insane that people still follow this silly gimmick blog i've been running since i was 19 #ik i have said it before but this little project got so big and i dont even particularly care for op anymore #i just keep this blog running for the bit of finding every sanji and watching people be amazed at the really really small ones #that i manage to find in the background. its a special skill you gain by running a blog like this #anyway no more tag rambles i want to try and finish this volume tonight if i can

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast

#shit was Black #literally was in my kitchen Wailing about them and forgot the bread slices i put in the toaster oven three seconds prior #s'ok i made a new set but oughhhhhh i am still sooooooo so unwell about them.... #OUGHHHHHHH THEMMMMMMM #theyre just... snf.... theyre just two silly goofy guys in love.... #silly goofy fruity fellas and they love each other <3 #SIDE NOTE GINGER SPREAD ON HONEY/BUTTER TOAST ABSOLUTELY FUCKS TRUST ME ON THIS #absolutely unprompted #but yea i was specifically thinking about that fic i have in my head #yall know the one by now. the one i desperately want to write and I SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY #but the fuckin... Misunderstanding... it makes me insaneeeee #its the most unhealthy part of their relationship AND THEY ARENT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP YET #damn theyre so healthy. theyre so. wails screams howls #but howdy being an oblivious idiot to his own emotions is so important to me #mans is whip smart & quick in every other area #but in this One Subject hes dumb as a rock & that hurts both of them <3 #but it also turns into something they can cry w/ laughter over later #someone asks how they got together. they exchange a look. and burst out howling #full on wheeze-laughing Cannot Form Words #y'see most couples would have some lingering 'i cant believe you did that' and/or guilt #but barn & howdy would just find it hysterical. full on 'remember when you-' 'yeah lmfao' #THEYRE SOOOOOO <3 #yknow if i ever find someone i want to have a partner-esque relationship. i want to have what laughingstock has #i do genuinely believe that howdy might have feelings for barn #but i like to live in the delusional world of my mind where they're Established <3 #grabbing them and slamming them together like a violent 5 yr old playing with dolls #kiss! kiss damn you!

[silenthillbunni]

having avpd is so hard bc yes i am extremely sensitive nd insecure nd thus difficult to deal w plus i self sabotage bc of my self critical thoughts. when i was a kid i was constantly picked apart nd criticized for every single little thing i did or said or thought nd now my brain's broken!!!!! yayyy

#it ruins everything for me #nd it's esp hard w relationships to other ppl #bc someone can tell me that hey no i like u i like talking to u nd prove it by keep talking to me for a year #but me? im like omg no what if they dont actually like me nd are just pitying me ?!? #or it's more like.... theres such a huge disconnect bwteen me and being likable that i just cant believe it #i rlly genuinely hate every single person around me when i was a child #they fkn tore into me nd everywhre i went all i got was criticism for my entire being nd existence #and now im stuck like this forever!!! will i ever be able to do anything at all???? #avpd #like when someone has anything positive to say to me my brain gets so confused #what do u mean u arent criticizing me rn???? idgi???? so sad :((

[lover-of-mine]

To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it...

#911 #911 spoilers #911 fox #911 on fox #911edit #buddieedit #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #well this was supposed to just be 6x12 but it got out of my control at some point there okasokaosk #anyway i saw a post with the bridge of this song and sirens went on in my head #had to get up to make it #someone yell at me to go to sleep soaksoaoskaoskaoks #i need to get better at lettering skaoksoaks #things to work on #i cant believe i dont have a taylor tag

[eatspiderss]

This one was SO fun to color !

#can't believe i hadn't drawn Gwen b4 this #her expression (especially the mouth) was a struggle but i think i got what i was going for #also hope my handwriting is legible #idc how many people tell me it is I'm always sure there's someone who cant read it #gwen stacy #atsv gwen #atsv fanart #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spiderverse

[spitblaze]

bro i hate confirmation bias every time i see a terf post going around with ‘TRANS PEOPLE ARE EVIL AND HERES OUR PROOF’ [like five different local news articles of individual trans women who allegedly did something shitty] i wanna make a post thats like ‘VENDING MACHINES ARE EVIL AND WILL KILL YOU THERE IS NO SAFE WAY TO INTERACT WITH THEM AND HERES MY PROOF’ and make a post with a bunch of articles of people getting killed or hurt by vending machines. which are perfectly safe machines in most cases. but sometimes a machine individually has a problem with it. or it was being fucked with by someone who should’ve thought a little harder about what they were doing and then turned around and said it was the machine’s fault after spending half an hour shaking it and abusing it. or maybe its just some weirdo looking for attention or reimbursement. but they’re all dangerous- trust me, these five articles will prove my point, we need to get rid of every vending machine, it’s the only way to ensure our safety.

#spitblaze says things #this one got away from me a bit but you get it #transphobia mention #the 'allegedly' is not there bc i think trans people can do no wrong #ive known a shitty transgender or two in my time believe me we have as much ability to be shitheads as anyone else #its there bc i have no possible way of knowing if its true or not #i like to believe victims! i really do! its also really fuckin hard to ignore the tendency white women have to make up violent crimes to get #rid of minorities in their vicinity with police violence #so. call it benefit of the doubt #or call it 'the same reason youtubers legally cant directly say someone committed a crime they have to say they allegedly committed a crime' #whatever #its uncertainty and not dismissal is the point

[reel-fear]

Hey if anyone wants to check out Moving Pictures Redrawn [a fan-made remake of the first chapter of BATIM that Mike n Meatly may have ordered to be taken down? It's unsure at the moment] Guess who downloaded a copy before they did that~

#batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #honestly if they did order the take down um lmao tbh #I guess Id do the same it must be embarrassing for a fan to make a better game than you did literally improved your damn #flagship title bc it fucking sucks #but yeah in the name of preserving this piece of art this person mustve spent forever making hmu if u wanna download it <3<3 #its genuinely so cool I hope it turns out someone was posing as the bendy devs bc like this is so awesome #to have it taken down just feels so shitty #idc if its just a better batim if I could fucking sue Meatly n Mike for selling me a piece of shit of a game #thats not fun to play buggy as hell and has some of the worst storytelling ive ever seen #then took this down bc actually we cant let ppl play chapter 1 for free anymore ugh its just salt in the wound of how shitty they r #this remake is so cool I cant believe I got it to run on my computer #the way they redesigned the general areas is so damn cool too this is genuinely such an improvement and meatly n mike should be fucking #begging on their knees for the fans to forgive them if they did take this down fuck them so so much #mike literally has flaunted his fucking wealth in the past do we really think he needs the extra 20 bucks from some poor soul #buying his elaborate scam of a game that has a broken save system really? Does he need that money? No the fuck he doesnt #ramblez

[ihathbenobiwankenobied]

Ahsoka episode five: one episode of television that is now going to distract me for another thirty business years

#holy fuck #Im not getting over this one #i cant believe we got rex #and live action clone wars #and snips #and baby ahsoka #someone make me start breathing again #ahsoka episode 5 #ahsoka #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers #anakin skywalker #anakin and ahsoka

[hella1975]

hi hella do you have thoughts on the tiktokification of ethel cain (given her leaving social medias) anyway sorry if you dont i just love the way you think xx

i think a very simplified explanation of what tiktok does to music and why it fundamentally always Grates on me is that people on tiktok cannot just listen to a song. it's no longer enough to enjoy a song or an artist. you're not a 'true fan' if you just simply listen to the music and find any level of enjoyment from it. you have to instead know every single lyric, and every meaning of that lyric, and then when that isn't enough because the masses are now also doing that, you then need to know what the artist's thought process was for the lyrics, where they were when they wrote it, exactly what they mean by it. interpretation is no longer allowed because the 'true fans' correct you with what the artist said in a niche interview from 2019 and 'if you really liked the song you would know that'. it doesnt matter what the song means to YOU because it now needs to be consumed in the Exact Way Tiktok Says It Should Be. and then of course it all becomes narrower and narrower and all the while the fans are TEARING the artists apart in an attempt to be the one individual listening to them most often and most correctly and with the most thorough understanding, and the artist is just. some guy. like literally just a person behind a screen reading every stupid as fuck thing and seeing the same stupid as fuck comments over and over and over again and it's like yeah. that would drive me fucking insane too actually

#there is no correct way of consuming media. like this need to be special and the snobbery it creates is something even ive been guilty of #like i will say ive only ever joked about it (like i made a post a while ago about tiktokers not realising gibson girl #was about drugs and prostitution) but i cant think of a time ive ever been ACTUALLY pissed about it #and that was more me being annoyed the tiktok crowd had got ethel cain anyway like IN GENERAL lol #but people on tiktok are actually IN that mindset. like they truly believe there's a correct way to listen to music #and they WILL police you on it if you dont adhere to that and they NEED it to be memeable so they can feel like they have inside jokes #with the artist despite them being a fucking stranger and it's WEIRD and more than anything it's fucking ANNOYING #and at the end of the day someone who listens to gibson girl bc it hypes them up and they have no idea about the lyric meaning #or its context in the rest of the album or in fact who ethel cain even is #are doing just as much justice to the art as people who listen to every single song religiously and know every single meaning #ultimately music is created to make people feel things. art is created to make people feel things #if you felt something listening to it then great. that is literally the only requirement needed. you dont need the artist's social security #number and worst traumatic experience in order to be considered thee fan of all time #ask

[braywashed]

I think the thing that's fucking with my brain the most is the separation of fact and fiction because it's like... we spent years being told that Bray was this unkillable character that would always come back no matter what, and now it's just like...I have to remind myself that in reality he was just a normal guy, it's weird.

It's..... yeah.

Okay - I'm gonna get real wordy and wax poetically and I'm so sorry I'm incapable of just talking and crying like a normal person.

It's like a big old layered burrito of denial on all fronts, right?

Because on the surface, we have a guy who was so young, and that seems so hard to get past in itself. We also have the fact that he was prone to injury at points and disappearing for... months at a time. He had been released and came back, what, a year later? In the meantime there were always a billion headlines with his name, speculating the worst, and it never had any accuracy or mattered. We were always *looking forward* to him returning and he always inevitably did because he had half his career ahead of him still and it always seemed like the best was to come.

And we have all these stories of what a beautiful person he was, a side we roughly knew of but never got to really experience ourselves as an audience.

But the person we saw was, as you said, this unkillable character. Literally unkillable. He told us from day one he could never die and would persist 5000 years from now when *we* were all gone. Because he was this personification of all the darkest bits of humanity and American society come to force us to face our sins. We watched him, silly as it was, get burned alive and come back a shambling heap of melting flesh and be completely restored. He was forever, he was a god, you could always find him and you could never, ever kill it.

And like, as fans, we kindle that kid in us that wants to believe in superheros and villains and we grow over the years with them. We go to events, and we sing his songs, and we thrust ourselves into that role ourselves of characters in a way. Like we were always *his*. Even if you didn't love him, you played into that for his entrance at the very least because it was such an undeniable experience. He talked and you, and every babyface, listened - whether you wanted to or not.

I'll never forget that one match on Raw, still early on, when the whole crowd was first singing "He's got the whole world in his hands" and just swaying, and then turning around and chanting "Bray is gonna kill you." Like, I remember Big E was in that match, and I'm pretty sure he was on the receiving end of that chant. He was over. He was beloved. And the whole crowd was singing hymns and calling for his demise for this literal cult leader that would speak in tongues and Exorcist walk across the ring, holding his heart and smiling with some masked sinister joy at it.

It's really really hard to reconcile he's not actually some biblical force of nature looming over everything and everyone even though we know better. And like, that fan in me that's that eternal kid in a way, is just stomping my feet screaming "but he CAN'T die!"

The end of Smackdown did, and still is, really fucking me up because I kept waiting for the lantern to go out. And like, I couldn't decide if I wanted that. Because on one hand, there's a symbolism there, and a kind of sad beauty, in the light going out. He was with us, and he's gone now, and he can rest (ahahaha I'm going to start crying again). The light fades. But ultimately I'm so glad it didn't go out because A.) I don't think I could've fucking handled it and was already bawling, and B.) It shouldn't go out. Or fade. His spirit of everything he brought to that world should stay with us and with every single performer who goes out there every night and throws their hearts into playing these characters.

And like... maybe, even though it's so hard now, maybe eventually there's comfort to be found in the idea that even though the vessel is gone - *He* will, somehow, always be there haunting us. Because "I have a thousand faces and a million names." We might not see him, but we can choose to believe every time a hero is forced to face their fears that he's there behind it - silently whispering into our ears, willing us on to indulge in every second of it.

#this is dumb maybe #i guess on a less dramatic note anon #i cant remember where it was - probably jo's instagram #there was a pic of them together and he was wearing those stupid glasses he wore in that last segment for the bobby feud #the ones with the gold side frames that look like he stole them from someones mom #like no homie really had those glasses #and i had this moment of like 'oh god he's such a fucking dad for real' #i dont think anything ever threw me through a loop more than that lmao #like 'no i need to repress this imagery immediately i can't believe the eater of worlds looks like someones quirky uncle at the bbq' #now its like im glad for that stuff and the stories and pics and videos etc because it makes me smile seeing that side of him and how he #touched so many people and made people so happy to be around #but it doesnt help the confusion of it all or make it make any more sense #and i have this awful feeling a year from now im still going to be waiting for him to pop up #feeling lonely because no one else is talking about him anymore #oh it got dramatic again im a dumbass im shutting up now

[baconcolacan]

Just wanted to say thank you for all the messages, both in my inbox and under my my last post. I’m in a bit of a better mood now since I just came back from visiting Parm, he’s doing alright, hopefully his surgery today will go smoothly.

Again, thank you guys, you’ve helped alleviate a bit of my anxiety about everything going on <3

#I cant really handle losing another cat rn #Fizz is still in my thoughts even though it’s been a while since she died #my sona sheet still has her in it and it hurts to look at some times #but I dont want to erase her from it either #I really believed she’d stay in my life longer than she did #Now I have Parm #He helped me with my grief over Fizz #I took him in from someone who didnt want him because of his balance issues #I still feel so stupid for not knowing he got out #I thought for sure he wasnt outside

[casdeans-pie]

I need a fic where Dean tells Cas all the stories of the weird hunts he went on before they met

It's just Dean reminiscing about the s1/2/3 hunts and Cas is absolutely drinking them up. Like a recap/clip show episode, except Cas is getting Dean's years-later-a-little-hazy memory of it all and he is being a very biased unreliable narrator, and he's got all these little comments and asides as he talks.

Dean gets so animated and nostalgic and laughs too hard before he can finish the end of some of the stories - even when it's not that funny (yeah, it sure as hell wasn't funny at the time, but I can laugh about it now, Dean says with a fond smile about the times they nearly died fighting ghosts and vampires and sentient scarecrows and accidentally getting cursed by a lucky rabbits foot)

Cas sometimes interjects with a 'what happened then?' or just smiles and listens, hanging onto his every word, and affectionately paints the mental picture of the Dean before they knew each other in his mind

#all the love for time travel aus recently got me thinking about the other way to time travel with someone - reminiscing with them #I just want Dean to reminisce about simpler times and take Cas with him down his memories #cas cant believe how many of those hunts the brothers survived by the skin of their teeth #destiel #destiel fanfiction #deancas #destiel headcanon #spn #Dean ends his stories with nearly getting his eardrums exploded by Cas at that gas station #and hes like what did you try to say to me anyway? #and Cas sheepishly admits to 'be not afraid' #and Dean loses it

[bangcakes]

.

#.... seeing him monday NDNDNDJJDJFFJJF #personal #with other ppl but still !!!!!!!! #n ive been like. twisting everything in my mind like oh you know maybe he liked someone else n not me. but #theyre not even in the country. and he had previously told me he didnt wanna see any of them again #and so. the logical conclusion is that. hes going. for me NDJJDJDJDJZJZM #I JUST. UNLESS HE REALLY LIKES SUSHI?????? #idk im freaking out. ive never got this far. im just NDJJDJDJDJDJD #the past few days..... tellin me his job news.... confiding in me.... now goin to a dinner with ppl he doesnt like.... to see me.... #i cant handle it NFJDJJDJDJDJDJDMX #like god this is so weird. i never thought this would happen to me im just NDJJZJZJZJZJDJZJ #hes so cute..... #i hope we get to sit near each other at the dinner NNDNZMZMZMSM #im not gonna overly try. and like with his bad luck JDJDDJMDDJSJSJ idk idk lmao #but...... GOD. he was just some guy with a seagull icon and a name on zoom.... then like he was just some guy that sat near me #then just like a guy i talked to sometimes and now we're friends and i JUST....????? MAYBE GONNA BE MORE???? ITS SO WEIRD. IDK. IDK #i cant believe we're this close. im literally NJDJDJFJXJMXMMM #HHHHHH #i like. ... i also looked at job stuff today. bc u know. i could actually FOCUS. bc i wasnt like. sherlock holmsing whether he liked me or #not bc i think its pretty clear at this point. im just NDJJDJZJZJJZJZJZMSMSMSMSMMZMZ IDK. IDK. ITS SO WEIRD. #I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME #AND WITH HIM???? SO WEIRD. IDK JDNDJJDJDJDJXJ I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED IM JUST. YA. GONNA TRY TO STAY CALM.