#i cant control i fucking hate her she is always either one extreme or the other like she takes three words from ur sentence and uses those

[ouchhq]

,

#sorry im just venting once again ignore me pls i just need to scream into the void because if i dont i think im going to completely lose it #its 9 am i already had a huge fight with my mom #she said she was gonna go out and i asked her to be back in time to make lunch because i have too much work to do and she kept avoiding #answering and it exasperated me because she always always does it on purpose to get back when its too late for her to cook and i started #yelling that im stressed and exasperated and ive been working on assignments that i dont like and im still not done #and she was like ‘so this school was a mistake u dont like it’ and i lost it. i lost it. she is so stupid i hate her #i yelled at her ‘its a THREE year course of course theres gonna be assignments that i dont like’ and she replied ‘u said u were gonna do #one year for now. so u definitively decided u arent going to get ur masters degree in biotech’ and i swear she wakes up a rage in me that #i cant control i fucking hate her she is always either one extreme or the other like she takes three words from ur sentence and uses those #to get to an extreme conclusion l #like i already feel lost enough #im so scared of everything and i feel like a failure but i tried this course because i felt just as lost and out of place while i was #studying biotech #and i tried to give myself another chance and i feel insecure about it but i felt i needed to give it a try #and she always ALWAYS says the wrong thing like i just need some support and people not questioning my life choices #i was depressed and suicidal all three years of university i thought this could be a change that would help make me feel better about being #alive and im so stressed and of course im depressed still but im trying to give myself a chance and its so fucking hard and i know my #relatives fame supporting me and quietly hope i will miraculously change my mind and run back to university to feel inadequate and miserable #again..... #(*fake) #i just thought my mom didnt really but she just proved she does and besides that the way its IMPOSSIBLE to have a logical discussion with #her makes me lose my goddamn mind #this conversation alone triggered so much #im tired of feeling like this. im tired of existing #god i cant stop crying #i feel so suicidal its overwhelming #i cant deal with all of this anymore. im so so tired

[its-me-im-coraline]

NSFW Alphabet // Victoria De Angelis

words // around 1k

warnings // obviously this is nsfw, very badly written really but ooops

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x reader

author's note // this was so hot to write but i also felt so intrusive writing this omg 😳😂

request // yes, can't find it right now

summary // NSFW guide to miss Victoria de Angelis

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like Vic is even more like a puppy after sex (i swear this woman will be the death of me). She seems really caring so I feel like she would try to take care of you, and you would have to force her to let you care for her. Cuddles are an absolute must!

like “here, drink this love, you need some water.” “oh, come on, you need to get up a go to the bathroom, love, just go” and then you sit down again and she just sits there waiting for cuddles “victoria, did you drink any water after we got done?” “no, ill drink later, its fine” “no its not fine, im getting you some water” and she would just argue with that until you threaten with no cuddles

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On her self Victoria really likes her lips and fingers (i mean she would loooove devouring you.... stop me)

now, on you, for some reason feel she would either have a chest or arm thing hmmm. i can imagine her just practically drooling any time you wear something low cut

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i feel like cumming tends to make her hornier sometimes. would def like to cum on your face no hesitation, but other than that nothing crazy

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

hmm can't think of something really crazy here but she could possibly like teasing you in public.

or there is something she hasn’t told you… wears your shirt to masturbate when you cant be with each other, but again nothing crazy

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i wouldn’t say she is insanely experienced but she knows what she's doing. if there’s something you like and she doesn’t know how to please you she is glad to learn from you. there are surely things that you both explore together

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

i don’t much about sex position names and shit but i see Victoria as being decently dominant so I’d say anything that gives her the leverage of being in control. maybe riding you…..

G = Goofy (are they more serious at the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

considering her personality, she is quite goofy but can be really serious if she is really concentrating (no but like her eating you out and just being so focused her eyes never get away from your heat ooooooof)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

she is really loving, really. whether she is dominant or not does not matter. she will always just hold your face tenderly every once in a while, lots of sweet kisses afterwards

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

just from the whole image the band puts out, i think, victoria is pretty comfortable with masturbation. she looks like she would be into mutual masturbation a little bit..hmmmm

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

she’s into hair pulling (her doing the pulling omg), i’d say she is dominating but not really into the whole “mummy” thing. would maybe prefer mistress.she’s into leather accessories if that could be considered a kink. maybe a bit of voyeurism, she would be into you seeing her masturbating

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

prefers the more comfortable places, that way you can both have the ultimate fun

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

lingerie is a big turn on for her. for some reason i get that she would get turned on by photos of you all blushy and stuff, like after the gym.

“what are you doing, babe?” “oh nothing, I was just working out a bit” *sends pic* “how are you?” “oh...uhm, you know… busy… gtg”

also finds extremely hot when your face is a bit red during the summer from the sun…. I don’t know why i get that vibe i just do ok? sue me lol

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

she's pretty open to most things, hasn't exactly encountered something she would say no to. exept feet fetishes! i might be projecting cause i hate that but she finds it kind of... well, to put it nicely, uncomfortable

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

she loooves giving you oral. I mean, I get the vibe that she specifically likes eating pussy so maybe this isn't the same if you have a dick. like I see her as a service top 😶

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

she is quite sensual and goes at a middle pace; not too fast or too slow, simply quickly enough to make you both enjoy it but also tease a little

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

doesn't love them, but if she is very insatiable due to how horny she's gotten she will be open to the idea. otherwise she believes quickies don't give her the opportunity to love you as you deserve

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

as i said before, she's willing to try most things, except fucking feet

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

def a few rounds, but gets really tired after maybe 5 ?

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

she loves using toys when teasing you. vibrating panties, cock rings, even vibrators that connect to an app so she can control it from afar, anything and everything shes got it!

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

she is in general a loud person so def moans a lot. she speaks all the time, especially when teasing you, mostly throwing encouraging and taunting phrases like "come on, baby, is that all you can do? be louder". she gets really hot and bothered by your sounds

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

i mentioned it before but I trully can not get the idea of victoria eating pussy out of my head. like I can imagine her being so concentrated on the task at hand, unless she is teasing you she is very quiet and just ooooof drowsy eyes and all... s t o p m e from thinking

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

id say on a balanced medium (lol sounds like a steak). like on a week scale, 4/7 days a week

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

depends on her day. usually she tries to wait till you fall asleep as you are cuddling but especially if you are the big spoon she's asleep in seconds i swear

#victoria de angelis imagine #victoria de angelis #maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin #måneskin imagine #måneskin fanfic

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Holy | Jurdan One Shot

Written for: Jurdan Smut Week 2020, Day 1: Dom/Sub @jurdannet​ @jurdannetrevels​

Summary: “You’re a liar. A dirty, mortal liar.”

WC: 3171

Rating: E is for Everyone be sinning in this fic

CW: EXPLICIT NSFW CONTENT. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

AO3   |   Masterlist   |   Based on this edit

“On your knees, darling,” Cardan’s voice is dangerous, silken, like the ruby red ribbon he’s holding.

It takes Jude a great deal of effort to sink obediently to the floor. She is so unused to bending at the knee, but trust is the name of the game—a game Jude needs ample practice playing.

Her palms are sweaty with anticipation, her heartbeat a riot in her chest. She is flushed and bare, kneeling before him like some kind of sinless supplicant, though this may be the biggest lie of them all.

Tonight, Jude had lied.

She’d lied to Cardan and he’d known it from the moment the words left her lips. Part of her thinks she lied just to bait him.

A bait he all too willingly took. His temper had glittered in his eyes before he’d swept them off back to the Royal Chambers, closed and bolted the doors behind them, sent the guards away.

Then, he’d undressed her, as one would a wound.

Now, Jude studies the ornate rug she kneels on, the worn leather of Cardan’s boots as he crouches before her, and thinks this is the best kind of trouble she could have possibly sought to get herself into.

And also the worst. The idea of being at the mercy of another is still a terrifying prospect to the High Queen of Elfhame. Fear, she’d found however, in the right circumstances could be quite the heady aphrodisiac.

“My queen,” Cardan says, brushing a stray hair away from her face. “Exquisite. As stardust.”

Jude can’t help but blush deeper.

Her husband’s compliments, though scarce,  were never ordinary, even after all these years. And why should they be, when they loved each other in such extremes?

Cardan takes up her hands gently in his and begins wrapping the long length of ribbon around her wrists, binding them in front so that she is not entirely in control, but not entirely without it either.

It’s funny to Jude that Cardan should be always so careful in this, considering the not-at-all-gentle treatment she is about to receive.

She doesn’t dare laugh, though. Not now.

“Do you understand why I am doing this, Jude,” he asks.

“Yes.” Her eyes flit over the sharp angles of his face. She meets Cardan’s gaze, as bravely as she can. His is calm, like black water before a storm. A storm which shimmers on the edge of the horizon between them.

Cardan stares at her bottom lip, now pulled between her teeth, as if he might bite into it too, given the chance. Jude is sure she would let him.

After a moment, Cardan lowers his gaze back to the task at hand. “And why is that?” He loops the ribbon around itself then pulls tight.

“Because I lied,” she tells him, not an ounce of remorse in her voice.

“Precisely,” he says. “And what is it you lied about?”

“I said I hated you.”

“Yes.” Cardan nods, looping the ribbon a second time. “You said you hated me—in front of the entire court.” He pins her with a glare from underneath the trellis of his lashes, and Jude is reminded of the way in which he used to look upon her frequently—with an odd coupling of ire and lust.

Jude’s heart flies to her throat. There’s no use in denying it. “I did.”

“Why is that a bad thing, sweet villain?”

“Because they might misunderstand,” Jude says. “Because they might think I hate you in earnest.”

“And why is that a bad thing?”

“Because we need to remain a united front for the sake of Elfhame.”

A small smile plays at the corners of his devastating mouth. While her answer is not technically wrong, it’s not the answer he was looking for. Cardan ties off the ribbon in a careful bow, then looks at her with one raised brow, challenging.

Jude looks down at her bound hands, because it’s still hard to admit vulnerability, even to him. Even so exposed as she is now. “Because I don’t actually hate you.” It is a half truth, at best.

Her husband grips her chin between his thumb and the crook of his forefinger, canting her face so that she must look at him.

“Prove it.” Cardan says this like a dare. Probably because it is. The sweet plum wine of his breath fans across her face, making her head spin.

“I love you,” Jude says, softly. Saying these words aloud is always the greatest submission of herself, her deepest surrender.

Cardan knows this, and looks at her like she is the one and only wonder of the world. “You love me,” he repeats, letting go of her chin. It sounds more like he is trying to convince himself of the statement, rather than confirm she answered his question to his satisfaction.

Jude raises her bound hands to cup his cheeks. His face is warm and a bit stubbly. She strokes the pad of her thumb down his jawline. “Very much,” she says.

The way he closes his eyes, leans into her touch, makes something in her heart fracture a little.

“And I, you, my formidable dagger,” Cardan says. Removing her hands from his face, he places a kiss on both her palms before rising to his feet.

Then, something in his air shifts. He circles her like prey. Jude knows she must stay still, but the urge to follow his every move is a tempting one.

“Looking at you now, I see strength and grace. A sharply honed beauty,” Cardan says from behind her. Jude feels her cheeks heat anew, and she is glad he cannot see her blooming humility.

“I also see a liar,” Cardan continues. “And for liars, there is punishment.”

She can feel the thrumming of her pulse, every inch of her alive under his gaze. “Yes, my husband.”

She hears a rumble roll through Cardan’s chest.

Jude knows full well what that particular term of endearment does to him. And since she is so compromised before him, it is only fair she assert herself where she can.

“I am going to spank you, Jude,” Cardan tells her, apparently deciding to ignore transgression. “And when that is through, I am going to take you.”

A delicious curl of desire licks Jude’s core. She shivers.

“Does that sound like fair punishment to you?” he asks.

“Yes, my husband.”

Cardan is at her ear, long fingers at her throat before she can blink. They are feather-light, tracing up the veins in her neck, feeling the pound of her pulse there. It is threatening enough that Jude is given to staying very, very still. She feels the drive of his shoulder against her back.

“If you call me that one more time, Jude,” he growls so close to her that she can feel the vibrations of his voice skitter down her spine, “I will have no choice but to bend you over and fuck you with wild abandon. I will not be concerned with your pleasure, nor will I await your release.”

Jude’s eyes widen and she draws in a sharp breath.

“This will bring me no great amount of satisfaction,” Cardan continues, “As I do so love to feel you come around me. You want to satisfy me, don’t you, Jude?”

Jude swallows and nods.

“Good,” Cardan says, stroking a hand down her hair before moving away. “You are safe, dear Jude, but you will relinquish. Now, lean forward and be still.”

Jude complies, without hesitation this time. Since her wrists are bound, she goes down on her elbows, ass raised in the air.

She is completely exposed. Vulnerable.

Cardan kneels down beside her, sidling up to her left hip. She can feel the bulge straining beneath his trousers.

She’s not sure if it’s this or the knowledge of what’s to come that makes her slick with want. But when she feels Cardan’s palm come to rest on her backside, the simple touch sends a lance of heat coursing through her.

Her thighs press together.

“So eager, my queen,” Cardan hums, steadying her with a grip of his free hand on her right hip. “One might wonder if you devised this plan from the start.”

Jude grins wickedly at the floor, but says nothing.

“Naughty thing,” he says.

Without warning, he brings his hand down against her bare flesh. It’s not a hard blow, just enough for a slight pang of pain. But the surprise of it makes her gasp.

“You’re a liar, Jude,” Cardan says, rubbing slow circles with his palm for a moment, letting her adjust to the new sensation.

She feels his hand disappear again, and braces herself. When he slaps her the second time, it’s harder, a bright shock against her skin. The sound echoes off the Royal Chamber walls.

Jude bites her lip.

The combination of sharp pain followed by Cardan’s cool, soothing ministrations is disconcerting. She shouldn’t like this as much as she does. This pain, this yielding. Everything about it goes against her very instincts. Yet, Jude grows more desperate still.

Suddenly, Cardan delivers three consecutive strokes, hard and fast.

“A dirty.” Slap. “Mortal.” Thwap. “Liar.” Smack.

Then, he swipes two wicked fingers up the length of her heat.

Jude moans, feeling herself pulse at the unexpected sensitivity. Her hips rock back of their own volition, chasing the friction she craves.

Cardan clicks his tongue at that. “I told you to be still,” he reminds her. “Do not test my patience, sweet villain.”

Jude’s fists ball up in front of her, pulling against their binds. In her head, she slings a slew of curses at him.

He is rock hard and throbbing, pressed firmly against her hip. It is a cruel kind of torture to feel his arousal and be without the power to sate it.

She wants nothing more than to be able to touch him, to clamber up his torso and peel him out of his clothes, to feel him hot against her skin, to make him tremble under her touch.

“I’ll be still,” she gasps instead. “Please. I’ll be still.”

Cardan says nothing, only resumes his soothing circles over the rawness of her backside. After a moment, he slaps her rapidly, once on her ass and once more against her swollen folds.

Jude yelps, the contact sending a shudder through her.

The effort it takes to remain unmoving is immense. Her breath is ragged in her chest. She is positively aching, and entirely unsure when or even if Cardan will give her what she desires.

“What are you?”

“A liar,” Jude chokes out.

Cardan brings his hand down hard again, and there’s a sharp spark of commingled pleasure and pain that swells in her.

“Louder.”

“I’m a liar,” she nearly shouts.

He strikes her cunt twice more. “Wrong. Try again.”

“I’m a liar!” She wails into the carpet. “A dirty, mortal liar!”

Jude is on the verge of tears now. She has experienced pain far greater than this before, but none which has held her in such agonised suspense. Such terrible denial.

The flesh of her ass is raw as roses, dripping with the evidence of her arousal between her thighs. She feels the heated prickle of shame flood her face, and yet, she remains still, gaze glued to the floor.

“Look at you,” Cardan says, wonderment in his voice. “You are breathtaking.”

He runs a slender finger up her slit before dipping down between her folds. His finger pumps and curls inside her, feeling her inner walls. The feeling is so delectable that Jude must stop herself from arching into his touch.

Cardan hums, delighted. “You’re drenched, wife,” he says, withdrawing his hand.

A frenzied heat surges through her at the loss of contact. Jude can only manage a sobbed, “Cardan.”

Relief is a balm like no other as her husband shrugs out of his shirt and positions himself behind her, spreading her legs with his own. The sound of his zipper sets her squirming.

When he finally, miraculously, slides into her, he does so in one smooth stroke, until he is buried deep, to the hilt.

Cardan hisses as he bottoms out. But, to Jude’s dismay, he does not move. Just stays there, sheathed in her completely, savouring the feeling of her warmth around him.

Jude is keening, the soft sounds muffled by the carpet as she tries her very best not to writhe against him. Because gods, does she need that ambrosial ache. Starting in her belly and lapping up her spine until every inch of her is flooded.

“Cardan,” she grits out, fingernails digging into the rug.

“Yes, my darling god?” he says, as if he doesn’t know what could possibly be wrong. As if he doesn’t know what torments her so.

Jude swallows. This terrible anticipation makes her feel like live wires twist frenetic under her skin. She hates it.

“Cardan. Please.”

“Please, what, dear Jude?”

“Move!” Her voice is taut in her throat from all of this waiting and wanting and wondering. If Jude were not held at his mercy, she would have pinned him to the floor by now.

A sudden chill sinks in her stomach before she knows exactly why. Then, Cardan has a fistful of her hair at the nape of her neck, yanking it so that she arches further into him.

He leans down over her, making her gasp. This angle is treacherously deep.

“Unfortunately,” Cardan growls low in her ear. “I don’t take commands from lying mortals.”

Jude is perplexed by the desire his words stir up. It licks her to the quick, going against everything she thought she knew about herself.

But the fact that remains is this: Jude craves the force of his arms, the moreish knowledge of his desire, his own unmooring. It is a particular tincture of power which only Cardan can give her. And for that, she must surrender.

Abruptly, he releases her hair and in within the span of a few breaths, strikes her across the ass four times.

The hits come in rapid succession, with much the same vigor as before. Only these are more intense. Her eyes snap open.

Jude, now filled to the brim with her husband’s cock, feels every slap of his palm against her flesh as if they were jolts of electricity shooting straight through her core. They leave her nerves jangled.

She cries out, clenching around Cardan’s length as each blow lands. A low rumbling sound goes through him.

“You feel,” he rasps, voice frayed from restraint, “Utterly divine, my love.”

Jude moans but is unable to form a response. For all the world, she cannot think past the moony haze of her mind, nor the heavenly pressure in her belly. After a moment, she registers the slip of Cardan’s tail coming to wrap gently around her thigh. It is both a reassurance and a question.

All Jude can think to say, the only thing to pass from her lips is, “I love you.”

With that, Cardan is moving.

The first few strokes are achingly slow, dragging all the way out before plunging back in. They strike a match within her.

Soon, Cardan is building a rhythm, thrusts picking up speed. Jude’s pulse races in tandem. That heat in her core clambouring for purchase as she’s driven again and again into the floor.

Jude thinks about the burns her knees will have tomorrow, from this carpet, and a thrill runs through her.

She can hear Cardan’s labored breathing behind her, his little gasps and groans that make her toes curl. He is deliciously hers. The thought makes her tremble in her own delight.

The slapping sounds their joining makes drive her wild. Before she knows it, she can feel the steady rise of her release. Despite her better judgement, Jude cannot help but meet him thrust for thrust.

Cardan seems too far gone to notice his wife’s efforts. He grips her hips as he pounds into her, relentless.

But when Jude turns her head to look at him, he is somewhere else. And that simply will not do. No, Jude would have him here and now, in this moment.

She slows her pace. She wishes she could reach back and pull him to the present with her touch alone. But as her hands are bound, she cannot.

“Cardan,” Jude croons.

At the sound of her voice, Cardan’s eyes snap to hers. He blinks for a moment. Then, he’s slowing his rhythm, too.

“Oh, Jude,” he soughs, scooping her up into his arms so that they are both upright and kneeling, Jude straddling his lap. She leans back against his chest. “My sweet Jude.”

His hand goes to her clit, fingers working slow circles. The added stimulation brings forth plumous mewls from Jude. She rolls her hips in time with his ministrations, feeling the novelty of this angle.

It is the stuff of gods, what they are doing.

“Tell me again,” Cardan murmurs gruffly in her ear.

Jude knows precisely what he means by this. “I love you,” she says, swirling herself over him. He thrums into her neck, nips at her earlobes. His hips begin to buck of their own accord, rutting up to meet the tidal wave of her movements.

Over and over, she tells him. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” His mouth covers hers in a searing kiss. “I love you so much that sometimes I can hardly think of anything else.”

“Gods above,” Cardan groans and, splaying his free hand on her belly, he pushes them forward once more. He’s pounding into her, fingers flying in circles over her clit until she is all sensation. Until she is screaming.

Jude is being cleaved apart. She is trembling on high. Just as it seems her wave of pleasure will rise and rise forever, finally, it breaks.

Jude cries out her release, a jumble of “I love you’s” and Cardan’s name, echoing around the Royal Chambers as she writhes beneath him.

And with that, Cardan tips over the edge, too. With a final slam, he spills into her, shouting a string of words. Her name. Only her name. Over and over against the back of her neck like a curse as he comes.

Jude is still pulsing, shaking in the aftermath when Cardan loops his arms around her waist. He brings them both to rest on their sides, not caring at all that they are on the floor. Cardan tucks Jude into his chest.

He pulls her wrists into his hands and begins unravelling the red ribbon that binds them. Jude, for her part, feels both heavy and as if she could float away on a fog.

“Jude?” Cardan’s voice sounds from behind her.

“Hmm?” She can barely muster the energy open her lids.

“Are you aware how much I love you?”

“ ‘Course I am,” she mumbles.

Cardan looses a soft chuckle. “Liar.”

Jude’s grin is so wide, she’s sure all of Elfhame can see it.

☽☽☽☽☽

AN: So this was… much softer than I intended 😅 but I really hope you enjoyed it! I had so much fun writing this one. This is just the first of a few works I’m putting out this week for Jurdan Smut Week, so look out for those. 

As always, if you have any kind comments, please do share them with me. I’m terrible at responding in a timely fashion, but I will respond to every single one. They absolutely make my day and ultimately encourage me to keep writing.

If you liked this, and would like to be added to my tag list, let me know!

Back to the forest now!

-Em 🖤💫

Tag List: @velarhysismine​ @knifewifejude​ @the-mithridatism-of-jude-duarte​ @clockworkgraystairs​ @thesirenwashere​ @courtofjurdan​ @nightbringer​ @aelin-queen-of-terrasen​ @whocares-idont​ @babycardan @sweetlyvillainous​ @aesthetics-11​ @storiesandschemes​ @jurdanhell​ @poeticbrownmermaid​ @thechainofiron​ @random-llama-socks​ @villanellevi​ @lady-thea-of-narnia​ @b00kworm​ @flowersinvegas​ @vanessa172003​ @cardanstrickytail​ @queen-of-glass​ @judiecardan​ @words-of-the-wise​ @scarznstars​ @charincharge​ @fizziefaerie​ @fateandluminary​ @tessas-herondales​ @styles-taylor​ @jyoti96​ @losssssstttttt​ @transbordeamento​ @katsemkitgostadetog @gloriouspalacebakerylawyer​ @woodsbeyond1​ @hizqueen4life​ @highqueenjudeduarte​ @m-like-magic @dorkzrul​ @whataboutmyfries​ @livelovereading123​ @queenofgreenbriar​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn​ @lifeminuspickles​ @df3ndyr​ @christalpaez @aknymph​ @iammissstark​ @st00pid231​ @disco-tits1​ @cardanslittletail​ @katexrenee​ @fandomfanatic987​ @justtryintolivemybestlife​ @hopefullyanauthor​ @junipersuns​ @curlyredqueen06​ @emmabookworm08​ @thebookish-fangirl​

Title Inspo: Holy by King Princess

Liked this? Try:   King   |   Fine Line

#tfota #jurdan #tcp #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jurdansmutweek2020 #i wrote this with very little sleep but #soft and a lil kinky #citrus jurdan #twk #qon #tqon #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #queen of nothing #holly black #high queen of elfhame #high queen jude #high king of elfhame #high king cardan #my writing #ember writes #holy

[nyan-koii]

Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players

aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update

PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen 

Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch

"Fck this game, i've had enough,"

"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"

Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"

"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"

His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see

"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"

Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far

"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"

"I think i get your fav character?"

"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"

"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"

Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long

"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"

"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"

"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"

"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"

"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"

!!!!

It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it

Type of player

Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner

Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month

"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully

He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!

He's very lucky. Very

Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.

'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'

'I want to be like him'

Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home

"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish

"not NOW!!" Clicks

The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.

Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.

"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"

He will be a c6 bennett haver!!

Type of player :

Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.

Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.

Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.

Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.

He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.

Everyone loves his teapot

Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real

"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"

"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"

"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"

"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"

'Bp?'

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies

"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"

She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon

"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"

"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"

Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."

Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly

"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS

Type of player :

Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going

She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka

Ayaka main btw

Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out

Fragile resin = 0

Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon

"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"

"But i cant,"

Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there

Only coops if mitsuri is there

"So that someone can calm me down,"

"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"

Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.

"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"

"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"

"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"

"Oh yeah i know,"

"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"

"i just know right after you told me,"

"...."

Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something

"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"

"But the next banner is zhongli's,"

"....."

"Ah fuck it," buys

My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists

"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"

That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person

"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears

Type of player :

Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants

Zhongli main

Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it

"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"

Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it

Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs

Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.

"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"

His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it

They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately

Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears

"Zhongli main forever,"

Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.

Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.

"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"

"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"

Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit

"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"

"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"

In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team

"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems

"Tengen, you should control yourself!"

"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"

"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops

Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.

"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"

"Who do you main uzui?"

"Beidou,"

Type of player

Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs

R5 every battle pass weapon

Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff

Mona wanter

Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery

Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs

Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers

Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down

Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it

In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"

Doesnt heals his characters

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer hashira #kny hashira #tokitō muichirō #shinazugawa sanemi #shinobu kochou #uzui tengen #rengoku kyojuro #kamado tanjiro #kochou kanae #iguro obanai #demon slayer headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons #hashira headcanons

[cavehags]

i realize this will probably bring up old drama so you might not want to answer it. but do you ever regret, however on purpose or on accident, bringing all that unnecesary hate towards Katara? i'm really sad and dissapointed tbh. i'm a woman of color and katara was so important to me growing up. my favorite animated woman ever. and then this resurgence comes and theres so, so much unnecesary hatred for her and everyone ignoring everything that makes her a good character.

(2/3) 2- and you know, i expected this from the male side of the fandom. they were misogynistic to her and the others even back then so i would expect it to be even worse with how internet culture is more mysogistic now that ever. and i wasnt wrong. male atla fans had some truly horrible takes and views that just came across as racism and misogyny. but, i expected these circles to be better. to be a safe space for us woc who love this character. but i found the same weird hatred for her.

(3/3) 3-i just, i cant believe i feel less welcome now that i did even back then. and back then i didnt even paricipate really. but at least i could enjoy fandom content without stumbling into misogyny and racism every other post. also sorry for sending this to your personal blog b i just wanted to let you know you controbuted to that too even if it wasnt your intention. at least you realized that and arent contributing to it anymore right? cause honestly the hate has only gotten worse not less.

hey anon. thanks for asking this question, because i hadn’t addressed this topic previously and this gave me an opportunity to do so. 

no, i don’t regret publicly interpreting a character whom i love through a nuanced and human lens. and i don’t regret combating the one-dimensional interpretation of this character, which posits that she’s merely an vaguely defined object of attraction for some boy or another, and a singularly gentle, mature, maternal figure whose sole purpose in life is to nurture others. those interpretations suck. they rob her of the humanity and complexity that make her character unique and they stem from misogynistic tropes that reduce women to the services they can provide to men. the thing in the world that matters most to me is fighting misogyny, and this trend to diminish a proud and powerful and angry teenage girl by exaggerating only her most socially acceptable traits is misogyny. 

unlike you, i did not grow up watching avatar: the last airbender. the shows i watched growing up did not have a lot of girls who felt real to me. the girls i saw on tv growing up were simple. they were the main characters’ crushes. they were simple, desirable, usually sweet and loving, and not much else. if they had a flaw, it was that they were, at best, “awkward.” whatever that means. or if they were the protagonists, which was rare, they were nice enough and tried to do the right thing, but they never had strong feelings like resentment and anger. they weren’t allowed to be unfeminine which meant they weren’t allowed to be bitter, angry or in any way flawed. they didn’t look like the version of girlhood i knew to be true for me personally, which included a lot of anger and frustration and powerlessness. 

that crappy representation left me with internalized misogyny that chased me for longer than i’d like to admit. i did not learn to think of girls as humans who could be as interesting and flawed and messy as the boys were. i did not value myself as a girl, and later a woman, because i thought the best thing a girl could be was... bland. boring. pretty, but empty. passionless.

it would have meant the world to me to see a character like katara. 

because katara is angry. she has every right to be: she’s had so much stolen from her, including her mother, her people, and her childhood. katara has a short fuse. she yells. she snaps. she fucks up. sometimes she makes mean jokes! i never saw a single one of those dreamily perfect cartoon love interests make mean jokes when i was a kid. she is extremely idealistic--it’s her defining character trait--but we see the bad side of that as well as the good. we see that her need to help others  leads her to act rashly, to get herself into danger, to put others in danger too. 

and she has her very own arc. it’s not about her love for another person, either (what a snooze of a storyline); it’s about growing up and learning to break down some of that stubborn black-and-white thinking that we all indulge in as children. it’s a true coming-of-age arc and it belongs to a fourteen-year-old girl. 

when i, to use a phrase i find crass, “entered the fandom,” i quickly realized that other fans’ perceptions of katara did not line up with the things i valued most about her. other fans seemed to valorize her most socially acceptable feminine qualities: her generosity, her kindness, her dedication to helping others. and of course i love those parts of her--i love everything about her--but what is really remarkable about avatar: the last airbender is that katara’s many important virtues are also counterbalanced by equally significant flaws. a good character has flaws. katara is a good character, and a deviation from the characters who made up my formative media landscape, because she has flaws. her temper, her idealism, her stubbornness--these are flaws. flaws make her seem real and human and challenge the mainstream sentiment that girls are not real or human.

it simply did not occur to me that celebrating these aspects of katara that make her a realistic and well-written teenage girl would spark ire from other adult fans. it absolutely did not occur to me that i would then be blamed for somehow causing misogynistic interpretations of this character, particularly given that misogynistic interpretations of this character are the very thing i sought to correct when i began to blog about this television show.

i’m told there are “fans” on instagram and tiktok who think katara is whiny, annoying, and overly preoccupied with her trauma. i do not use instagram or tiktok, so i wouldn’t know, but i’ll take your word for it. respectfully, however, they didn’t get that from me. misogynistic takes on katara have existed since before i came along. i have never, ever called katara whiny. and seeing as i have been treating my own PTSD in therapy for nine years, you can safely conclude that i don’t think anyone, katara included, is overly preoccupied with their trauma. that’s not a thing. do i think she’s annoying? of course not! as a character, she’s a delight. does she sometimes find real joy in aggravating her brother and her friends? yes, because she’s 14. i, an adult, am not annoyed by her. sokka and toph often are, because that is katara’s goal and katara always succeeds in her goals. she’s not “annoying.” 

if there are “fans” who are indeed following lesbians4sokka and somehow misreading every single post and interpreting them to mean that we hate katara and they should too, i don’t really know what you want me to do about that. l4s has over ten thousand followers and we have already posted so many essays disavowing katara hate. our feminist and antiracist objectives in running the blog are literally pinned with the headline “please read.”

furthermore, you cannot reasonably expect my co-blogger and me to control the way our words will be received. we should not have to, and are not going to, add a disclaimer to every post saying that when we critique or make jokes about a teenage girl we are doing so through a feminist lens. our url is lesbians4sokka, and we are clearly women. if that alone doesn’t make it obvious, then refer back to that pinned post. 

it is indescribably frustrating, and really goddamn depressing as well, that people are so comfortable with the misogynistic binary of Perfect Good Women and Flawed Wicked Bitches that they perceive any discussion of a woman’s flaws to be necessarily relegating her to the latter camp. if that is how you (a generic you) perceive women, then i’m sorry, but you’ve internalized sexism that i cannot cure you of. and it’s unjust to expect my friend and me to write for the lowest common denominator of readers who have not yet had their own feminist awakenings. we do not write picture books for babies. we write for ourselves, and with the expectation that our readers can think critically. reading media through a feminist lens is my primary interest; i have no intention of excising that angle from my writing.

as i go through my life, i am going to embrace the flaws of girls and women because not enough people do. as long as the dominant narratives surrounding women are “good and perfect” and “unlovable wh*re,” you’ll find me highlighting flawed, realistic, righteously angry women in the margins. and for what it’s worth, it’s not just katara. i champion depictions of angry girls in all sorts of media. that’s sort of my whole thing. my favorite movies are part of the angry girl cinematic universe: thoroughbreds, jennifer’s body, hard candy, jojo rabbit, et cetera. on tv, in addition to katara, you’ll find me celebrating tuca and bertie, poppy from mythic quest, tulip and lake from infinity train, korra, and more. i adore all these women and see myself in them. i hope you find this suitably persuasive to establish that i have sufficient Feminist Cred, according to your standards, to observe and write about these very flawed and human fictional women. 

what i’m saying is this: i decline to take responsibility for the misogynistic discourse orbiting a children’s cartoon. as someone who writes about that series from a perspective that seeks to add humanity and nuance to the reductive, one-dimensional, overwhelmingly sexist writing that already exists, i am pretty taken aback that i am the one being blamed for the very problem i sought to address. except not that taken aback because i am a woman online, haha! and this is always how it goes for us. 

finally, i think it sucks that you’ve chosen to blame me for a problem that begins and ends with the patriarchy. i can’t control the way this response will be perceived, just like how i can’t control the way anything will be perceived because i am just one human woman, but i do hope you choose to be reflective, and consider why you’ve chosen this avenue to assign blame. 

#anyway! this answer is too long and it's undignified to answer ''fandom drama'' queries on le blog #but here we are in 2020

[bigsteeb]

this is gonna be a long post so bear with me, growing pains got a b i g emotional reaction out of me & I need to share my thoughts & feelings about it because jesus fucking christ.

ok first things first, someone hug this boy immediately. he’s sat in his room, still in his pajamas, in day time watching dog copter. this whole scene is just steven going “lol I’m sad, I’m gonna comfort eat & stay in my pajamas & watch a kids show I watched when I wasn’t as sad haha” & it’s not only upsetting, but relatable too fuck. his room is a mess along with him eating ice cream at what I assume is morning… making it his breakfast? geez steven. also idk if it’s just me here but in this shot he looks… bigger? like ignoring his body size shifting later on in the episode he looks a lot wider than he usually does when paul & drew board episodes to me, he’s rivalling etienne & maya’s steven’s wideness. did he… get chubbier from comfort eating? how much time has passed since together forever for him to put on weight if he has? this could literally just be steven slouching or his pajamas making him look bigger but as someone who is an advocate for the body positivity shown in su & suf it has me curious. I want to hug this soft, sad boy. It could also be due to how steven’s design fluctuates through the animation process, it’s never really on model all the time. 

the grunting noise he makes in this scene is very distressing, as are other moments from the episode too. a glimpse at the glow-bracelet he proposed to connie with is enough to physically pain him? fuck me man. is he leaving his room where there’s already ice cream… to get more ice cream? sobs. also the puns in this shot. I cant? slow burn?! you’re evil crewniverse. not to mention his body size changing throughout this scene, god this poor lad.

screams, this was when I started worrying. the boy is now in an environment he has never been in before & is feeling extremely uncomfortable & vulnerable. look at the lines under his eyes, his sad eyebrows & pout I hate it. also don’t even get me started on this part. the slight raise of a voice being enough to send him into panic?! fuck I hate how much I relate to that. 

here’s where I immediately broke, no god damn pun intended. seeing steven’s skeleton, steven’s fucking skull, like this pained me. that crack on his skull is from fucking jasper in jail break. I can’t express all of the visceral emotions that were going through my body at this. there was intense sadness for steven, extreme anger at jasper & the gems for allowing shit like this to happen to him. turns out he’s not as resilient as we thought he was. each hit he takes physically breaks him & then his gem instantly heals his wounds, my heart fucking broke at this. think back to everything that happened to him, everything that physically hurt him. it broke him I can’t deal with it! then there’s what priyanka says to steven next;

“you seem to of made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. you’ve recovered physically but, have you recovered mentally?”

this part here along with her reassuring him that there’s nothing wrong with his brain, how childhood trauma can have an impact on how your body responds to stress & how you act in your social life, the usage of the word “cortisol” too. this stuff being in a children's tv show is incredible. the writing for priyanka describes trauma simply enough for kids to understand, but for adults to fully realise too. folks, steven has ptsd. there wasn't one bit of sugarcoating about it or nothing, this is canon fact & it hurts me. for so long have I wanted steven’s emotional issues to be alked about, to not only be brought to steven’s attention but to the audience’s too.

everything that has happened to him has built up to this moment. this moment where his behaviour & coping methods are finally making sense to a large majority of the fandom, & to steven himself. he’s hurting; physically, mentally & emotionally, & he isn’t coping well what so ever about it. his emotional support system is complete garbage, no one regularly checks in on him & folks just take steven at face value like “oh yea glowing pink? he’s fine it’s just steven” but he’s the bad person?! I hope a lot of you out there who genuinely believe steven is a bad person re-think yourselves after this. dealing with trauma is tough as shit. some days you even wonder if that one thing that fucked you up is really worth being labelled as trauma. I still can’t believe this is the route they’re taking, if he doesn’t get some form of therapy by the end of future I’ll be furious.

then things begin to spiral as he remembers what happened with connie. he clutches his chest in pain & begins changing size over intense amounts of stress & it was extremely distressing to watch. steven immediately reassures connie that this isn’t because of her, but because of everything else that happened to him. however. I believe that that’s a slight lie, he wouldn’t of spiralled if he hadn’t of remembered the proposal, steven you fucking himbo. he continues to reassure them both that he’s fine, just that he needs them to leave so he can calm himself enough to control himself.

then this happens.

“I. CAN’T. BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

this was fucking intense. he means this literally in 2 ways btw. his body size shifting over the stress he’s feeling is a danger to both connie & priyanka in this moment, but it’s also because of how it started. being around connie hurts him. he’s not mad at her though let me make that very clear, just that thinking about what happened when he tired to propose to her is sending his head in a fritz. he did what he did full of confidence in together forever, for connie to then make him realise how silly he was being. these two are destined for each other, but that advice from ruby & sapphire has really fucked with him. he looks up to those 2, looks up to garnet, their relationship is so strong & stable. for them to give him that advice & to then scream “DO IT!” in his face is incredibly tasteless imo.

then greg gets here. I knew connie was calling for either greg or the gems when she was on her phone as she left the room, fuck yea connie I love you. the breathless, strained “thank you” from steven towards connie for calling his dad? g o d. connie telling him she’ll be there for him when he’s ready?! g o d. these next boards were done by rebecca, I knew immediately when I saw steven’s face. it makes sense that rebecca boarded these, because fuck. 

how do I move on from all of the stuff I’ve been through? how do I live life if it always feels like I’m about to die!?

I’m tearing up as I type this. when I first heard the leak of this audio I so badly wanted to believe it, but to also believe it was fake too. I was an emotional mess off & on for about 3 days over it because I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking distressing it was. like… shit steven. he seriously feels this. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt just saying this in front of his fucking dad. he is hurting badly. this boy, this sweet sweet boy we’ve watched grow & develop into the person he is today is distraught about his future & life. it is… soul crushing to watch this. a group of friends of mine have found joking about the episode as a form of coping with the intensity of it & as much as that’s valid as fuck, any joke coming from this episode feels morally wrong to me. I can’t bring myself to join in it feels terrible even thinking about laughing at it to cope. I love them all, but I can’t bare myself to join them. this moment ending with greg comforting steven, telling him he’s here for him & all of his struggles, got me weeping. greg is possible the best father figure I’ve seen on tv, let alone a kids tv show. he’s amazing.

the final scene right here is lovely. greg making steven a hot chocolate & listening to him vent, reassuring him over his worry for his future. this right here is exactly what steven needs. someone to talk to, someone he could trust to talk about his feelings to. this the start of his support system, tag on peri from in dreams, bis in bismuth casual as well as connie from the past few episodes & it’s already looking great! even when greg eased him about being there for him steven still feels guilty about him leaving his tour, leaving his tour because he got a phone call from connie about his son being in need & steven feels guilty about it. fucking hell man. I did enjoy how the episode ended though, with that little moment between the both of them;

“just get some rest kiddo. you don’t have to solve all of your problems in one night.”

“yea. thanks dad.”

it’s a great message too, all of your struggles can’t be dealt with all at once. I’ve used a similar analogy before but it’s like removing a dead tree. you have to deal with all of the little things surround this issue first before you get to the deep, harder stuff. along side the message about trauma they’re both very important messages, I’m glad they exist in the show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one more thing before I end my thoughts & feelings over growing pains.

this ending shot;

as soon as I saw the frog mug my mind raced back to the promo for this scene, & this whole moment to come entirely. if you remember this moment has the first set of leaked audio within it, the audio of the gems basically cornering steven about him not opening up to them. christ pearl even gets mad at him for his gem building a wall behind him, protecting him from them. it’s common knowledge, I hope, that steven’s gem reacts to his emotional state. pearl herself has said this;

“I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind.”

his gem building this wall? it felt like steven was being threatened by them. this scene now has awful connotations with it. because since we now know what the pink mode is doing to steven, how actually painful it is, think back to these;

yea. fuck the gems. I’ll let it slide if steven, greg or priyanka haven’t told them about what happened at the hospital. but if they do know, if they know how much it hurts steven being in his pink mode & still press into him about it I’ll see red. with steven’s trauma & now ptsd being cemented into the show I fucking hope garnet, amethyst & pearl get held accountable for what they put on him as a kid. that shit will not slide with me if they don’t. do not condone what the gems put him through. do not condone the gems for making steven feel like he had to be his mum for them. just… don’t. please.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao sdngsjfhg #this episode fucked me up in more ways than one #i dont even think ill simmer down about it before next weeks episodes either #it was… a lot... to listen & deal with #i care deeply about steven as a character #& see it being canon that he has trauma & ptsd… possible c-ptsd #it fucking breaks my heart #god dammit it crewniverse #i hope you handle this with extreme care #i trust you but still… jesus christ #steven universe #steven universe future #su spoilers #su future spoilers

[mha-smipy07]

It's a Date?

plot(ig):you get asked on a date by itadori yuji and it was good unit he started acting funny.

warnings: langage and i kinda mad itadori a fuck boy in a part of it :) oops(not really tho)

A/n: aaa i had so much fun with this idea, i hope you like it and please like and reblog it

"ya so its a date?" you couldn't change your mind with the smile on his face so you agreed and =g with his friends, and damn he was fast. he only lose one because his very kind friends dog knocked him over.

you started laughing and your friends asked what was so funny. "that guy's dog just body checked the one with pink hair" you covered your asusment with your hand over your mouth. but your friends looked confused

"um (name) there's no dogs over there" your best friends looked at you like your losing your mind. but she was crazy there where 2 dogs over there.

"what do you mean? look a black and white dog- oh shit never mind" you shook your head and looked back over, where those curses? you forgot that you were the only person in your friend group who could see curses, you didn't want to tell then because they didn't believe in them.

"that guy is cute imma go talk to him!" you quickly jump up and walk over but you noticed the girl who he was talking to, was that his girlfriend? you wouldn't be surprised he is extremely handsome. but woers goes to worse it is his girlfriends but there black hairs dude with the dogs is cute to.

"hey can i pet your dogs?" you asked looking at the blue haired guy, who gave you a very surprised look.

"y-you can see them?" he asked looking almost scared. you shook your head and waved at the pink haired one. you needed to know his name. "um ya you can pet them but you do know those dogs ar-"

"are curses? yes i know. and yes i can see curses, no i'm not becoming a jujutsu sorcier" you cut him off, smiling like it was a common and normal thing to say. he just nodded and looked over to his friends. "hey what's that guys name?" you asked pointing to they guy you where eyeing "and does he have a girlfriend?"

"thats itadori yuji, and no i dont think theres anyone in the world besides gojo and nobara who can stand him" he rolled his eyes and looked at you. "oh don't tell me you think he's cute or something?"

"sorry but he is very cute but what's your name? we could be friends" you flashed a smile at yuji when he looked at you.

"well i think your just his type, but you would probably get along with him. oh also my name is Fushiguro Megumi" he smiled a little at you and then took out his phone.

"that's a cute name but im going to go talk to itadori now, also you dogs are cute!" you said walking over to itadori.

"hey" you smiled "i was wondering if you wanted to be friends i guess, i was watching you guys race from over there and you looked like fun to hang out with" you glanced at the girl he was with and your guessing her name is nobara based off what Fushiguro said.

itadori eyed you up and down before giving you a toothy grin that almost looked cocky. "ya for sure! you wanna hang out with us for the rest of the day? we are gonna go to the mall soon and then we going to get some food" he offered and you looked bad to your friends and the to the grass. you guys were hanging out, but then again you guys hang out all the time. they will be fine without you for one day.

"ya sure, but i drove here with my friends so id have to ride with one of you, and i have to go tell my friends nicely i'm ditching them" you let out a small giggle.

"ok that's fine we have one more seat in nobaras car" he pointed to the girl next to him and she waved at you, she was really pretty. you nod and ran over to your friends.

you walked up to them and smiled shyly. "hey, so i'm going to go hang out with that dude and his friends today, is that ok?" you asked as the guilt of leaving your life long friends for some guy you just met.

"ya that's fine we can hang out tomorrow but go get yourself laid we all know you need it" your friends waved you off before giving you side eye and started laughing. "ya ya shut up, you two have fun" you grabbed your purse and ran back over to the 3.

"ok they know your not kidnapping me" your comment made nobara and itadori laugh. it's your mission to make megumi laugh and to flirt with itadori witch will be easy.

"ok lets go" nobara grabbed her bag and keys and we started walking to her car. "im sitting in the front. and yuji i will punch you if you try to beat me to the car" megumi grunted and glared at yuji. it was hard to tell the he actually wanted to hang out with either of them, he didn't smile much and he would insult them but that may just be him.

you hopped in and reached for the seat belt but-- "uh there's no seat belt"-- you quickly realized there was no seat belt on your side.

"oh ya sorry my cousin decided to cut the seat belt in half you have to side in the middle or not buckle" you gave you a apologetic look.

"oh now i see why Fushiguro didn't want to sit in the back" you chuckled because it was getting a little awkward in the car.

you slid next to yuji and placed your bag on the seat you should be sitting in and buckled. "good choice, nobara sucks at driving" yuji whispered in to your ear sending chills down your spine. you giggled and took out your phone to check you messages from your friends.

you had 2 text your friend. 'what's that guys name?' and ' has he dicked you down yet?' where those said text. you started laughing and went to reply forgetting how close you are to yuji. 'the guy with the pink hair is itadori and sadly no lol'

itadori smirked at the text before leaning in to your ear. "sadly uh?" you wiped your head away from your phone almost hitting him in the face with yours. his smirk went away as soon had he saw your face. "um sorry i shouldn't have read your text" his face turned a little red and he looked up so see you guys had 5 mins till you got to the mall.

"its ok, but can i have your number?" you ask holding out your phone. he shook his head and took your phone to put his number in, and but his name as 'hot guy from park' you snorted at the name and rolled your eyes. the last 4 minutes when by fast as nobara started blasting her favorite songs and you guy where at the mall in no time.

nobara and megumi when into a clothing shop because she was going to give him a better style so you and yuji went to look around a shoe store a little bit away from them. you and yuji started talking about shoes you guys wish you could afford and laughed a little together before leaving to grab ice cream.

"hey so this may be a little random and i get if you say no but would you wanna go out together? like tonight maybe" yuji scratched the back of if head as his face started to turn red.

"ya sure like a date?" you asked taking a lick at your melting ice cream.

"ya so it's a date?" you couldn't change your mind with the smile on his face so you agreed and he texts nobara that you two are going to go out. you guys start talking about where to go to eat and what to do.

"why don't we just stay here and there's a taco bell down the road we could go to for food later?" Yuji looked at you and started laughing.

"i'm ok with that but taco bell for our first date?" he snickered as you shook your head. "ok im good with that" he grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers. his hands were so much bigger than yours, he was so much bigger than you in general. you had a thin shirt on and it was getting a little chilly and Yuji nodisted so he almost forced you to take his hoodie and put it on almost drowning in the sent of cedar wood and sage.

you guys found a bench and sat down to start getting too know each other, sharing childhood stories and your likes and dislikes. he looked a little cold because he didn't have a hoodie on so you scooted closer and wrapped his arm around him in a weak attempt to warm him up a little.

"you looked a little cold" you almost whisper nuzzling your head into his chest. the laugh that left his mouth sounded so deep when your head was against him. his heart beat was getting faster and faster like he was getting scared or nervous. he was fine before, maybe you were pushing your boundaries by snuggling up to him. you glanced at his wrist and there where 2 black lines forming around his wrist slowly so you pulled away from him to look at him.

the only thoughts that went through your mind was 'holy shit' and 'what the fuck is going on?'. Yuji now had some black face markings on him forehead, nose and cheeks. not to mention that this didn't look like Yuji, ya his hair was the same before he pushed his it back and same clothes but it wasn't Yuji. "Yu-"

"I'm not Yuji sweetheart, Im sukuna and this brat besided to eat one of my fingers but i'm the king of curses." sukuna cuts you off and smiled, fuck even their smiles are different and his voice is so much deeper than yuji's. "but damn this brat can pull some cuties, i always like to take a look at them myself, normally scares them off"

"oh well nice to meet you sukuna" you said slowly still trying to process everything, but it makes sense if megumi has his curses and training to become a sorcerer, no doubt him and nobara and too. they probably go to school together. but you have an idea that he had a curse but this is not what you expected. but he was hot, you hated to say it but he was but he was only hot because Yuji is to.

"damn it sukuna stop that. your so annoying" the voice was Yugi's but there mouth was moving, god this was confusing but apparently he can still talk when sukuna have control over the body. "your lucky i cant kill you brat. but fine i'll go" sukuna replied to Yuji and the markings started to slowly fade.

"uh i'm sorry about that, he likes to do that sometimes, he's a dick but i'm not! he just gets cireus and wants to see things in his own eyes" Yuji appolagised letting out a big sigh. "he used to be worse but im starting to get him whipped, he thought this era was better than this." yuji started to chuckle so you did to.

"i can still talk and see you tho" a mouth appeared on Yuji's cheek then disappeared.

"uh now that's a little freaky" pointing at his cheek you start to laugh. "but just know this isn't gonna scare me off, i've seen a lot of things before"

-------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: sorry but im getting lazy on this and idk what else to put on here :) so here you go, please like and reblog also sry if i spelled any names wrong

#jjk imagines #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu sorcerer #yuji itadori #itadori yuuji #itadori x y/n #sukuna #anime imagines #sukuna x y/n #love you bestie

[jazzy-art-time]

Some random Jody facts cuz fuck it Jody BrainRot

- Jody actually really loves being called “Bee” or “Jody Bee” by others. It started out when she played a bee in a elementary school play but she actually really likes being called that. She would never in this lifetime admit it to a soul although.

- original concept for Jody’s and Ulbrecht’s relationship ending in story was... kinda bad. In the story now they end it in a healthy way and open about another’s feelings. Jody is still extremely hurt by it but she gets a break with it ending in a healthy way. Considering the original draft was ouchie. I spare thee Jody. You get a healthy breakup.

- In the Aftermath Ending of the blog, Jody does have pretty bad PTSD and other issues. She’s very timid and sometimes stutters a bit. But she does receive proper help and good therapy and opens up a bit. A happy Jody. She figures out herself and who she really is and isn’t restrained anymore by outside entities.

- Jody loves dogs but is okay with all animals. She talks to them like little people but does not use the high pitched voice people normally use when talking to animals. She is just bluntly “hey. How’s it going” in her normal voice.

- Jody tends to attract not only canines, but specifically black cats a lot and they follow her around. Which usually when she realizes this she has to awkwardly pick up the cat and does a dumb careful jog to put them back in their owners yards.

- Jody knows how to rollerblade and is a decent skateboarder! She used to dress up as a ghost and use rollerblades to glide around and scare people when she was a toddler. But she still skateboards quite regularly and how she usually gets around her home town.

- Jody cannonly has three relationships in the blog. One with Ulbrecht (it ends), one with Yvette (it ends) and one with Solo. Solo is the only one who continues to see her romantically in the Aftermath ending, as they “break up” in the blog for a short time. Even tho she’s Polyamorous she doesn’t have any other partners. Solo the only one who manages to stick around her. I know it seems like I ship her around a lot but honestly it’s only 3 things and two of them don’t last pfffff

- Jody likes to have her face or cheeks cupped. Just put your hand on her cheek and she just goes 🥺. Not that she gets physical attention like that often anyways.

- Jody’s crest can actually bend around and such, she just mainly has it upward in its natural position. But can bend it down and such.

- Jody holds the tail tip of others if she trusts them (if their tail is long enough), she holds her own tail tip as a nervous habit but with others she finds comfort in it. She usually holds Diane’s tail tip a lot and Diane has accepted it as part of her life now. Your sister is just holding your tail congrats Diane.

- Jody usually lies about her favorite color and gives different answers. Usually neutral tones or just says “red” as a obvious answer. Her actual favorite color is pink, she finds it very appealing. But she doesn’t have many clothes or objects that color surprisingly, she doesn’t think it “matches her” well and doesn’t get anything that color.

- Jody’s facial expressions are not her own and she doesn’t have much control over them. But in the Aftermath ending she is much more expressive. I imagine one of the gang sees her raise her eyebrows genuinely and they are absolutely shook.

- Jody is that person who whenever they sit in grass, they tear it up with their fingers. She does it subconsciously and usually ends up putting the clippings on the person next to her without fully realizing it. Diane hates this greatly.

- Jody is actually extremely jealous of her younger sibling and how she is likable and pretty. Jody knows she can’t be like her though and it frustrates her a lot. She doesn’t let Diane know this because she knows it would get rubbed in her face. Jody usually genuinely doesn’t care about those things but it’s a lingering feeling in the back of her mind.

- Rexmile is the one soul who can make Jody go feral practically instantly. Rexmile instills such a extreme feral energy in Jody and they are a force of nature. They terrify everyone with their friendship.

- Jody has never played a video game and would have no idea how. Not that she wasn’t allowed or didn’t have video games, she did growing up. But Jody was more focused on other things and never played one. I can imagine someone attempting to teach her how to play a game and them getting so frustrated because she genuinely is like “what do you mean A is the jump button. What.”

- Jody uses a perfume that smells like lillies. But she always has a slight Smokey scent to her as well.

- Jody can’t eat watermelon properly. She always bites through it too hard or is surprised how watery it is. She ends up chewing loudly with her mouth open genuinely confused on what’s happening. She’s really bad at eating watermelon it’s like giving a dog peanut butter

- Jody has a habit of checking peoples Pulses on their wrist. Sometimes she lightly grabs your wrist and checks your pulse and continues about her day. She’s very gentle with it and such. But it’s a odd habit she has picked up.

- Jody cant peel a orange. She struggles a lot with it like that image of the guy crying cuz he can’t tie his shoe. She always either rips it to shreds because she’s too strong or she sits there and picks at the peel for like a hour before she gives up. She doesn’t eat oranges much anymore over this unless they are pre-peeled.

- Jody is the person where every time she yawns her jaw pops at a ungodly volume. It disgusts Diane so much that Diane tells her to leave the room if she is going to yawn.

Okay I’ll stop now gkdkgkkfjcjdj

#JODY BRAINROT REAL... #not art #text post #long post #swearing #cursing #cussing #JazzNotes

[jamieking333]

I have this friend who at one point was my bestfriend. I used to tell her everything obviously which i know now was a very bad idea. Everytime i would tell her something that happened to me she would immediately make up a lie that was weirdly similar to what happened to me. Like when i got diagnosed with adhd the next week she told people that she had it. When i told her I was SAed the next week she told our other best friend that she was SAed. Well obviously we stopped being friends for unrelated reasons but about 2 years later we rekindled our friendship. Everything was fine until that one best friend that i was talking about ealier and i started dating. We’ve been dating for almost a year now and everything’s fine with me and him. But for some reason she is super jealous of me and him. And not bc she wants to be with him but because she cant have more than one friend at a time. So shes trying to do everything to either break us up or just get closer to me or him. So now we come to the issue at hand. I was a recovering anorexic and she knows this but i recently relapsed. I never actually told her anything bc of obvious reasons but she figured it out herself bc she knew that i was anorexic before and she already knew the signs. Well you probably already see where this is going. She ended up telling everyone she was anorexic and anemic. Now people are believing her because she’s super skinny. But it pisses me off bc i always looked up to her bc she was one of those girls who was like 5’5 and extremely skinny. Shes been like that her whole life tho like ever since we were kids everyone always said she was the pretty skinny one and im the ugly, not as skinny, fat funny friend. I fucking hate it! Shes gotten everything she’s ever wanted and im still here starving myself just to be seen by literally anyone who gives a fuck... AND NO ONE DOES!! I’ve gone through years of pain just for my fucking mom to say shes proud of me bc now im pretty enough for her standards but when I was recovered nobody cared. And dont get me wrong im not doing this for anyones praise, I’m doing this cuz i fucking hate the way i look and im tired of not having any control over my life. Anyway, I’m done with my rant. Bye for now.

#tw ed relapse #ana blog #ana #bulimi4 #anorexjk

[theoneforgameofthrones]

Daenerys Targareyan: The Path Towards Madness.

Okay let's begin.

Intro: I read book 1. And then, I binge watched seasons 1-6 after season 6 finale. By that time, I knew all the major theories like L+R=J, dark!dany, targ!tyrion etc.

So, I was paying extra attention and these are some of the obvious moments where I felt they showed Dany's mad side show. Some points, you may find valid. Some points you may find silly and over-reaching. In any case, this is what *I* felt.

Feel free to have discussions. Appreciate positive critisism. However, just yelling/abusing will not be tolerated.

1. Lack of Empathy

Her obvious lack of empathy when her brother was killed.

I did not expect her to save him. I did not expect her to mourn him. I did not even expect her to cry for him. I did, however, expect a reaction, any sort of reaction, when someone close (despite him being an abusive asshole) dies that suddenly and that violently.

2. Her facial expression during Drogo's speech.

"I will kill the men in iron suits and tear down their stone houses! I will rape their women, take their children as slaves and bring their broken gods back to Vaes Dothrak!"

3. During her Breaker of Chains phase, she conviniently seemed to forget that she used to practice not only slavery, but also pillaging while she was with her khalesar.

Master Illeryoi owned slaves. Her brother owned slaves. She was gifted slaves to teach her how to please the Khal.

Her husband was a war-lord and her khalesar constantly raided and pillaged villages. They killed men. They raped women. Remaining alive women were taken as sex slaves and later sold. That was their way of life. She saved Mirri Maz Duur and several other women from the fate of gang rape and murder but they were still dragged along side the khalasar as slaves. In books, the reason MMD was not sold was so that she can assist Dany during childbirth.

4. The burning of Mirri Maz Duur (MMD)

This is going to make sense to a lot of people. But confuse the fuck out of many. But let's see.

In colonized countries, we have a term called "Savior's Complex". It is where a colonizer raids a country, steal its riches, impose extreme taxing, destory most of its heritage and then expect praise for bringing something (could be education, technology, architecture).

Dany takes the complex another step above. She not only expects gratitude from an enslaved MMD while dragging her along with her khalesar with sole purpose of assistance with childbirth, she also expects her to save the life of her husband. The war-lord whose khalesar raided her home, pillaged her village, killed her countrymen, raped/killed her countrywomen, dragged remaining alive women along with the khalesar to be sold later. Despite all this, Dany expects gratitude from MMD for her life. This flawed logic however is thrown back in her face.

"So, tell me again exactly what it was that you saved?"

"Your life."

"Why don't you take a look at your Khal? Then you will see exactly what life is worth, when all the rest has gone."

This is an old age tale of revenge. Khal raided her village. She took revenge on them for destroying her temple. Dany burned her for it.

What completely bamboozled me in this fandom was how much people hated MMD for what she did while completely making Dany the victim in this scenario while forgetting that MMD was the orginal victim who was not only an enslaved prisoner of war, but also gang-raped victim of her khalesar's doing.

5. Ser Barriston's words.

Ser Barriston in Mereen, tells her to treat injustice with mercy. She replies that she will treat injustice with justice.

Another quote by Ser Barriston: "He gave people the people the justice he thought they deserved."

Justice and what people in power percieve as justice is often very different.

6. Daenerys' justice for the crucified slave children

She did that by choosing 163 random Great Masters and crucifying them to avenge the 163 slave children. This seems like justice. But is it, really? They never recieved trial. They were never proven guilty. Like Hizdahr Loraq said, some of the masters were not in favor of crucifying children and tried very hard to stop it. Who knows how many other good masters she crucified?

This is a direct parallel to Ser Barriston's words about Mad King Aerys: "He gave people the people the justice he thought they deserved."

7. She stopped slavery only when it benefitted her.

Some of you, while reading point 6, may have thought, "They were SLAVERS! So what?!".

Well, while choosing 163 masters, Dany decided that all Masters are her enemies. She decided that all of them deserved punishment. She decided that they were guilty just for engaging in slavery while conviniently forgetting that if that were the case, she should be the one in the first cross.

8. She burnt Great Masters without even investigating who were behind the Sons of Harpy's attack.

After Ser Barriston's death, we again get to see more of her twisted sense of justice. By her own words, "Who is innocent? Maybe all of you are, maybe none of you are. Maybe, I should let the dragons decide."

It is not supposed to be called justice if you punish (and a cruel punishment, at that) without even caring whether they are innocent or not.

9. "You are a conquerer. Not a ruler."

Time and time again Dany proves this to be true. She conquered Yunkai and left immeidetely. The slavers took back the city in no time. She closed off the fighting pits and refused to open them despite being told that participants will be free men who enter willingly. This is where ruling comes in. Any place she conquered and freed, she failed to put something else to keep up the economy. She collapsed the economy so bad that slaves were selling themselves again.

10. Wrongful imprisonment.

Dany finds that Drogon has harmed children. The correct response is to either train or punish the dragons. She, however, imprisons the two dragons who werent at fault while Drogon ran free. Does that mean she is not responsible for whatever terror or death Drogon caused to wherever he flew off to? What exactly does imprisoning Rhaegar and Viseryion get her?

What kind of justice is it where the accused is free while the innocent get prisoned for association. Again, feeds into the twisted justice train.

11. Twisted Justice. Hipocrisy. Again.

While many men were fed to dragons, Hizdahr Loraq was imporisoned. He begged for mercy in terror.She also decides that she will show her respect for Meereen by marrying a member of one of its great families. For a woman who was forced into marriage and "sold like a broodmare", she sure didn't feel any moral dilemma in making a terrifed man betroth her. His death though, proved that he was not at all involved with Sons of Harpy and he was imprisoned for nothing.

12. Burning POW's

Burning Tarly's (father and son) was a direct paralell to her father burning Ned's father and brother alive. You cannot hide behind "It was a war. She gave them a choice." No matter what defenses one can attempt to give her, killing (forget burning) POW is a war crime. So is forcing prisoners against their own side of war.

13. Defending cruelty in path of justice

She killed Tarly's and defended that decision, by saying that was necessary.

When Hizdahr asks her how many men will have died to achieve her goal, she says "They would have died for a greater cause." She is talking about destroying cities and sure, that must be for a greater purpose.

When Tyrion reminds her that about what her father planned to do when she said she wnated to burn Mereen to the ground.. her response was "This is different,". How, exactly?

"The easiest way to defend cruelty is to say that it is part of the destiny."

14. The insinct to burn down cities.

By s8e01, she has wanted to burn down cities thrice. Meereen - once. King's Landing - twice. Both times, she had to be talked out of it by her advisors. The fact that her first instinct when her plans were failing was to burn down cities. Direct parallel to Aerys wanting to destroy king's landing because he thought there were traitors everywhere. The fact is that a person can surrond themselves with good counsel. But it is not necessary that the counsel is always heeded. Which is what happened to Aerys. He was going incresingly mad for months and his counsel members hid the fact from the outside world because they thought they could control the madness. We all know what happened in the end.

Since s7, Dany has been becoming increasingly paranoid about Tyrion's loyalty and increasingly more frustrated with every loss. How long before she decides not to listen to them anymore?

15. The entire collonialist/white savior imagary presented in Essos.

It is amazing how most of the fandom either ignores it or is just unaware of it.

Though this point doesnt parallel anything to the show, i just found it extremely cringy. I am sure members of most colonized countries would. I cant even beging to describe how cringy that mysha scene was.

16. The typical white priviledge mentality.

She wants to inherit her ancestor's throne and power. But she doesnt want to repent for her ansestor's sins and betrayal.

17. Wrong sense of entitlement

She truly believes that she is entitled to the North's fealty. She asks Jon Snow not to judge her based on her ancestors and in the same breath asks him to hold up the vows of his ancestors.

But, whatever vow the Starks made to the Targareans was broken the moment Aerys decided to burn the Starks. The fealty was made on promise of protection. Technically, any member of the houses that Aerys burnt, is no longer accountable to the vow.

Still, she expects everyone to uphold their fealty but refusing to accpet that her father broke that fealty when he decided to burn the vassels (whom he promised to protect) alive.

18. Savior Complex

Some parts of Dany reminds me of how missionaries work.

"Will your God punish me for not praying to him if I did not know about him?"

"No."

"Then why did you tell me about him?"

I believe one thing about Daenerys Targareyan. That she truly wants to help people. That she truly wants to save people. But her problem is, she wants to be the one to save people. She doesnt seem to understand that some people dont require saving.

She talks about freeing the world of tyrants and in the same breath refuses to give North the independence that they demand in solidarity. How is that not the definition of tyranny?

This is Westeros. I am not expecting a democracy and free elections. If she wants to be a conquerer, then she can be one. If she wants to bring to bring together the 7k, she can. What she cannot do is talk about destiny, talk about a wheel, talk about breaking the wheel, and and then do the exact same thing her ansestors did years go by spinning the wheel so that she is on top.

19. She was smiling when she saw that her dragons terrified people of Winterfell.

20. "They eat whatever they want"

Is that really the correct way to respond to people are already scared/cowering over the arrival of dragons? To people who have never seen such beasts before? Did she forget that few seasons ago "whatever they want" that Drogon ate were children?

21. Jaime's trial

She made Jaime stand trial and was heavily leaning towards punish him despite the fact that she knew what her father had planned and what Jaime Lannister had done. She openly spoke in favor of the Mad King in front of Northern Lords. When Tyrion intervened, she publically breated him and questioned his loyalty. Further adds to the Mad King's paranoia and unwillingness to listen to counsel.

22. Jaime Lannister

Not only has he tried to kill her, he has also questioned her intentions twice. The only living person who knows about Mad King more than anyone is perhaps Jaime Lannister. When he questions Tyrion, "Is she really different? Are you sure?" in a sceptical tone. If he doesnt trust her or thinks she had the Targ madness, then I am willing to bet that she probably does.

23. Her decling human connections

the show seems adament in making her seem alone. Like a stranger in her own home land. In an episode full of emotional reconnections, tenderness, friendships and relationships, she is shown all alone. In later episodes, she is incresingly shown alientated: Theon coming to fight for the starks despite being her bannerman, death of the Jorah, Tyrion's withdrawal.

24. jorah was her mercy.

She had shown jorah mercy despite his betrayal. She cared for him and most importantly, completely trusted and listened to him. When she felt no remorse about berating Tyrion and strongarming Sansa, jorah urges her to forgive tyrion and to try and make amends with LAdy of Winterfell. And, she listened to him. He is the only advisor she fully trusts and listens to without having to worry about wavering loyalties. And jorah's death is going to be the acorn in Ice Age that started the avalanche.

<<2 episodes left. will add more after next one airs.>>

This is not to say that she was an evil character. She was a good person with good intentions and bad execution with a twisted sense of justice and destiny. But, the journey to hell is paved with good intensions. Dany was a character who had the potential to be great. But she was always headed to doom. She is a good person whose downfall will be due to pride, ambition and obsession with destiny. She will chose her fate with a sound mind but a flawed personality. Her story will not be heroic, but tragic. Not because of what she was, but because of how she could have been.

#dany #dark dany #dark dany signs #dark dany foreshadow #mad queen #mad!queen #daenerys #anti dany #pro dany #daenerys stormborn #daenerys targaryen #pro daenerys #jon x daenerys #sansa stark #pro sansa stark #sansa stan #jonsa #list of dark dany #list of dark dany moments #game of thrones #game of thrones s8 #got #jon snow #anti targarean #pro jon snow #jonsa stan #jon x sansa #dark!dany #jon x dany #anti daenerys

[nad-zeta]

Match up ^o^

May I request a Match up, please?

I’m at the part when I have to choose a route and I honestly don’t know/care. So I decided why not let some lovely internet stranger choose for me? Who do you think I would pair the best with?

I also noticed how much effort and detail you put into these so I decided that it was only fair to try to put in just as much effort in requesting. Or maybe I am just extremely vain so blabbering on this much about myself comes naturally (I also wouldn’t be too suprised if this were the case lol). Either way, I apologise for this getting so long. And without further ado, let’s learn about yours truly. Uh, yay?

I will start with my physical appearance because that’s easiest.  

First of all, I am rather tall for a woman. Pair that with the fact that I constantly wear boots with 8 centimetre or greater heels and I almost always cap out somewhere above 182 centimetres (that’s 6 feet in American). So yes. I’m not exactly the approachable type, on the account of my height and near constant resting bitch face. I always look pissed off at something (and to be fair, I usually am).

I am a brunette with boring brown eyes. Nothing of note there. 

I prefer to walk on my toes, for whatever reason. I also have great posture when I walk and these two factors always make it seem like I am floating. I’ve been told that I always seem very confident and self-assured. Which is complete bullshit because 90% of the time, I am winging it. 

I am a dancer (of sorts. More on that later), so I am rather slim and toned. This is literally the only aspect of my physicality that I am actually confident in. The rest of me can burn in hell for all I care. 

I am also very touch adverse. I hate the feeling of skin touching my skin it grosses me touch. However. There are a select few people in this world that I accept and enjoy hugs and cuddles from (and who I could snuggle with for hours). If I let anyone cuddle me that means I trust said person unconditionally and feel extremely comfortable around them. It’s essentially the ultimate statement of trust.

Onto personality.

If you can’t already tell, I have about as much dignity as a wet cat. I while I certainly do have an ego, it can be kind of difficult to bruise. Publically, I am absolutely shameless and don’t give two shits about what others think. 

I have a tongue of steel and can rapid fire the most atrocious insults and comebacks when provoked. I’m known for my venomous sarcasm and biting wit among my own circles. I have a line for nearly every single situation so one-liners have become my thing. Which works out for me because I am a huge flirt.

I’ll flirt with pretty much anyone regardless of gender, I don’t give a crap. To clarify, it’s not because I am an attention whore (okay, yes. I am a complete attention whore), it’s because I am a theatre kid so excessive eye contact and sexual jokes are kinda where I thrive. I am also not afraid to get questionably lascivious with my flirting if someone tries to out-pace me. I never blush, I never falter, and I never let anyone know that they got the better of me. It shows weakness. 

Despite my salacious façade, I am not inherently a sexual person. As a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite. I don’t experience sexual attraction (kudos to my asexual humans. I see you). This has rendered me practically immune to all charm, crushes, and sex appeal. It makes my life a lot easier, in my opinion. I don’t get too attached. I also enjoy messing around with the egos of fuck boys. 

As mentioned earlier, I am an attention whore. I love showing off because I crave validation (this could point to some deep seated insecurities about myself that I refuse to acknowledge…. Ahem). Being on stage as where I thrive. And yes, I am a dancer, as I stated earlier. But I am not your conventional prissy ballerina. I am a circus performer. More specifically, I’m an aerialist. I have covered trapeze, contortion (I am unnaturally flexible), lyra, and silks. It’s a lot of fun almost dying every day and finding bruises in the most questionable places (if you cant already tell, I am an adrenaline junkie. I took karate for the first dozen or so years of my life and have recently been searching for more weapons combat classes because apparently I don’t have enough bruises already).

I am not easily impressed. And I don’t give out compliments very often. And that includes myself. I can be unnecessarily hard on myself at times… most of the time. But then again, who isn’t? 

As for the side of me that isn’t stark-raving mad, I am usually a pretty objective person. While I have no qualms with discussing emotions (both mine and friend’s. I am a great listener and actually give pretty good advice when it comes to dealing with intense emotions). I tend to avoid letting them interfere with my logic. I look down on those who allow their emotions to dictate their actions. It makes them needlessly reckless. 

I am typically a pretty chill person. When I am among people I am unfamiliar with, I tend to stay quiet and try not to rock the boat too much (again, I won’t hesitate to unleash a severe tongue lashing upon any poor soul who happens to rub me the wrong way… Or just happens to exist. I don’t take shit from other people and I hate it when others try to control me. (I don’t play rough, I play smart). 

I really enjoy reading, writing, or drawing quietly. I can’t stand loud and excessive noises or people (parties, screaming, concerts). I am a true extroverted introvert. I love being the center of attention and chatting, but I need my alone time. People are exhausting to deal with. 

Because of my aversion to loud sounds, I tend to avoid typical dance parties like the plague. While I am very good with mingling and partying in general, I can only keep it up in short bursts before I have to retreat somewhere quiet. This is also the reason I greatly prefer the nighttime (if I had a choice I would sleep all day and only frolick around at night. I just love the dark. It’s comforting in a weird way). I also love the night because that’s when I get to sleep and just peace out on life. It’s kinda like non-committal dying.

I am near constantly on hyper-alert so I am not easily startled. When I do get startled, I have a tendency to squeak, yelp or growl. These noses are purely reactionary sounds but for whatever reason, my friends think that they are absolutely adorable and will go to great lengths to startle me just to hear me make them.

To counteract my friend’s malevolence, I have learnt to be super observant, especially when I feel threatened. Usually, I am caught up on my own world and thoughts. I have an imagination so powerful that I can trick my brain into feeling false sensations such as an extra limb or falling. I much prefer to spend my time in my head rather than our boring reality. But if I feel threatened, or think that another attack is imminent, I instantly become hyper aware. These moments of lucidity enable me to make certain observations others would otherwise be overlooked (for example. I was able to tell when my professor lost her wedding ring due to the discoloration around her ring finger and the habitual and near-constant worrying she did at it. I offered to help her look after class ^.^. I admittedly felt kinda smug when I saw her surprise.) Ironically enough, I like to refer to this mode of thinking as “Sherlocking”. I can be quite the detective when I really try. 9 out of 10 times my friends will come to me when they suspect infidelity, I am pretty good at digging up dirt. 

However, I have to make the conscious decision to do this, usually when I am trying to figure someone out or manipulate them into liking me. So this isn’t constant and usually I go about my day like everyone else, blissfully unaware of my surroundings.

Uhh, there is probably more I could cover but this is getting very long as-is and you are probably forcing yourself to get through my seemingly eternal ramblings. So I am going to stop here and go grab myself some food. 

Best of luck to you,

-November

Hi there love!<3 you sound like such a cool interesting person! ^_^ Hehehe I probs took so long with this match up that you already chose a new route lol! Anyways thanx for waiting soooooo long for this and I hope ya enjoy it love ^0^ ^_^

I match you with……………………… Masamune

Honestly, it was between Masamune and Mitsuhide for me lol but i eventually decided to go with Masamune 

The first time Masamune sees you, his eyes go wide in awe, like wow you are one tall fine lady! He has legit never met anyone so tall. After you were named as chatelaine, you stayed behind with some of the warlords to chat and get to know them better, you are after all going to be seeing their faces every day for the next 3 months. 

Right of the bat, Masamune is howling in laughter at the fact that you are way taller than Ieyasu. You, Masamune and Mitsuhide basically tease the poor porcupine for a solid 20 minutes. “My my I never expected such a scary-looking little mouse to be so bubbly and friendly.” 

Oooh, this boy just stared a war of wits. Today day was a good day cause your tongue of steel was rapidly firing witty words and sarcastic remarks at the resident kitsune. He almost couldn’t keep up, almost. Masamune was just standing there watching the whole scene unfold, you truly were going to be a lot of fun! Masamune decided to test out that tongue of steel of your and started firing some flirty pick-up line, while unbeknown to him you are the queen of one-liners, and have no shame when it comes lascivious flirting. Masamune, of course, never backs down from a challenge, and he was determined to make you blush. The conversation got so heated that it made even Hideyoshi blush on your behalf. You simply laughed and fired another one of your pick-up lines.

After the little chat in the hallway and a massive speech from mama bear for talking about things that were not PG13, cause of the kids *cough* Mitsunari *cough*, you and Masamune become quick friends. He had never met a woman before that was immune to his boyish wild charm, and handsome sexual appeal. Masamune was definitely popular with the woman, not as popular as Hideyoshi, but he was definitely a fuckboi. As surprised as he was, that his normal antics didn't work on you, his ego wasn’t dented one bit, it just made him more determined to get to know you. 

Masamune definitely finds your flirtatious nature attractive, especially when you managed to score the two of you free sweet bun just by flirting with the shop owner, he was, even more, shook when the shop owner was a woman, your flirtation truly knows no bounds. The two of you would spend loads of time together, just going out for tea and sweets while getting to know each other. TBH although Masamune would never admit it, he found it refreshing that you weren't just his friend simply cause he was hot or cause you wanted to climb in stations but because you actually liked him as a person. You and Masamune definitely made an unstoppable team when it came to banquets. The two of you would team up and start teasing everyone there. When you two cuties are together its always a good time with loads of laughter and banter

Masamune discovered that you like him, was an adrenaline junkie. He loved that he finally had someone around that would do stupid shit with him just for the thrill of it. The two of you would go out on adventures 24/7 jumping down waterfalls and hiking up cliffs. The two of you goofball would also dare each other to do the craziest shit. Like one-time Masamune dared you to jump off the castle’s roof onto your balcony, and you freaken did it, no questions asked. Or like the one time you dared him to put his head in Shogetsu mouth, mind you the little cub was now grown into a full-blown tiger

One day you and Masa went to go watch one of Mitsuhide’s undercover performances. The three of you were investigating a shady daimyo in one of the nearby provinces. The three of you disguised yourselves as performers and joined a circus troop as their new dancers. You were so excited, the stage is where you truly come alive. You had promised Masa to show him something that would shock/surprise him after he gave you the grand tour of  Azuchi. Today was the day, you had kept your dance and performances a secret from the two men, and now it was finally time to show them what you can do. You had 3 different performances planned. The first one was contortion. To say Masamune was shook would be an understatement he never knew anyone could be so freaken flexible, like wow. Your next performance was aerial dancing, his blue eye gleamed in delight, watching you move through the air so gracefully. If he wasn’t sure before he was sure now, this boy loved ya. But what really took his breath away was when you trapezed through the air, he was absolutely mesmerized at the way you flew through the air doing back-flips and other cool ass tricks. Masamune loved the look of pure joy on your face as you performed and after the show, you explained to him that you were a theatre kid back in the past. Mitsuhide definitely took note of your skills, and since that day you now accompanied him on most missions that required him to disguise himself as a performer.

Masamune loved everything about you at this point. Your overdramatic introvert/extrovert personality. The way you walked. Gosh, he loved the way you walked, it looked like you were an angel floating around wherever you went. He loved your banter and one-liner for every situation. And most of all he loved your hyper-alert side. Boy did he love to come up behind you to scare the crap outta you just so he could hear you squeak, yelp or growl. Like he lived for those adorably cute noises. And you somewhere along the line had fallen in love with the big idiot. He was always coming up with new fun adventures to go on or new fun things to do. He was one of those few people that could actually keep up with your banter

What was he most impressed with you may ask, well you Sherlocking skills of course. One day there were rumours of some super shady daimyos visiting Azuchi. Word on the street was that they were planning on stealing Mitsunari report to make the poor angel look bad. Mitsuhide was away sorting out some other plots and schemes, so it was now up to you to use your skills, to save the angel. You used your detective skill to gather evidence, and since your inner circle knew you were from the future, you were planning on catching them in the act and filming them for evidence. Masamune was always up for an adventure, so he acted as you own personal Watson. The two of you hid while watching the whole scene unfold, once they left the room the two of you came out. “What do you think they are going to do with the report lass,” he asked while his blue eye gleamed in delight. “Hmmmmm, I believe they are going to burn the evidence in the forest” you replied in your best British accent. Masamune couldn’t help but laugh. The two of you made your way to a secluded part of the forest and spotted them making a fire. Masamune looked at you curiously “How did you know they were going to be in this exact spot.” “Elementary, my dear Masamune.” He couldn’t help but burst out in laughter you really were a super fun kitten. Unfortunately for the two of you, they heard you guys laughing behind the trees and before you knew it, the two of you were surrounded. One of the men had a sword right at your throat ready to cut you open, that is when you shocked them by not backing down from the fight, you hit the sword away with one of your own gifted to you by your dearest one-eyed dragon. “ Point that sword at me one more time and i’ll slash your Achilles’ tendons, and TBH given the medicine situation of this time, no one would know how to fix your injury, so I hope you like hobbling around on one leg for the rest of your life cause that is what will happen.” These men were shook; meanwhile, Masa was next to you howling in laughter, “She’s not joking boys, this lass delivers on her threats.” You had never seen grown men run away from a fight so fast. You and Masamune picked up Mitsunari’s report that had fallen on the ground during the commotion and walked back hand in hand

You didn’t really like skin touching skin, but TBH you definitely like the warm feeling of Masamune’s hand warmed around yours. The two of you had come to fall in love with each other, and it wasn’t long before you two cuties entered into a relationship. Despite both of you being adrenaline junkies, both of you also loved your quiet times. Often you would sit together in his manor each doing your own thing. You would read and write, and Masamune would sit at his desk pretending to work (Cause admin is so freaken boring). 

The two of you would have the best time together during banquets you loved being the centre of attention and would chat with everyone, but as the night would progress you would start feeling a bit drained and that’s when the one-eyed dragon would swoop in, pick you up and takes you to a quiet corner where the two of you cuddle and snuggle together.

He would spoil you rotten with the most amazing food, he would basically, cook anything your heart desires just to see that beautiful smile on your face. His heart would always burst with affection whenever he cuddles and kiss you, he knew that the fact that you allowed him to cuddle you was the ultimate statement of trust between the two of you.

Often the two of you cuties can be found causing mischief and giving Mamayoshi more grey hairs or cuddled together sharing stories of your day

Other potential matches............... Mitsuhide 

Hope u enjoyed it dear @november-solarstorms

#ikesen masamune #masamune date #ikemen sengoku masamune #matchups #match ups #masamune matchup #ikesen matchup #submission

[cursedthoughtz]

first post (5.28.2020)

11:55pm

i wonder what other people think about, the small little thoughts that cross their mind day to day. i wonder if i’m really as different as i think i am. i’ve always had darker thoughts, but not the scary kind. never towards other people, always towards me. 

thoughts i dont think i could share with anyone or say out loud. Ive long stopped going to therapy. my therapist was the only one who even knew a crumb of what goes on in my stupid, hilarious, mean head. i once told him that sometimes id be in the middle of a decent and pleasant conservation and id say something just a tad awkward, like 4/10 if we were measuring and my mean brain would immediately start repeating it over and over to me, calling me stupid and retarded. ive never really felt in control of my brain. quite the other way around actually. it has me on a leash. although i have gotten extremely better than what it used to be. it used to tell me to bash my head into corners of tables. and it would imagine all the gory details, and then after forcing that image into my head (usually in public too, sometimes school) it would play a mini slideshow of my mom and sister crying, and my best friend wailing as she heard the news of this horrible, horrible, unimaginable thing id done to myself. and for no reason either. all that for a little bit of awkwardness. i used to be so comfortable telling suicide jokes. for some reason it like “came into trend” or something. kms was the most used acronym for a while. i could say it constantly and it felt like this big weight off my shoulders because i was finally saying it out loud but in a socially acceptable way and people would laugh, and i would feel happy for a split second. but then id realize what we were all laughing about. laughing about the fact that i just said i wanted to jump off a bridge. ive stopped doing that and now suicide jokes make me quite uncomfortable. i hate when other people say it. the mean judgmental hypocritical never-been-wrong-in-its-life side of my brain will assume that the person saying “kill me” because they were late to work has never known the true pain of that feeling before. and they should shut the fuck up because they've never been lying in the fetal position on the floor of their bedroom, crying until they cant breathe, just replaying every traumatic thing that has ever happened to them. wishing and praying to a god they dont believe in to just take them out of this planet because they cant stand another minute trapped inside their head with cursed thoughts. but then i take a deep breath and remember i used to say that probably 15x a day. and i damn well meant it. i said it with a huge stupid cheesy smile on my face too, so i have no right taking away what could be their little comfort of expressing that burden. that used to be me.

its hard when youre sad or depressed to not feel superior or like youre in the most pain and nobody would even be able to stand it for a second if they were in your shoes. but the truth is thats stupid. as fuck. everybodys got that little mean voice in their head (i think, at least i hope. cause if not i need to be admitted somewhere lmfao) some peoples mean voices are just louder. but what do i know. nobody's even reading this right now, thank god. but if you are, dont listen to me. i like to lie to myself and pretend i have all the answers and i know everything about life because of all the fucked up stuff ive had to go through. but genuinely, the truth is no one knows shit. not unless they can magically read everyone minds. “we only have our own ideas of other peoples ideas” (i stole that from bo burnham. man is a comedy legend) 

ew i just reread this and it sounded so cringy. what am i 13 years old again? jesus christ. its truly hard to read. but this what i decide to waste my time thinking and writing about, so i guess id better be exposed to that harsh reality sooner or later. i dont want you (imaginary person reading this) to get this impression of me, like im that emo kid from the lorax. im not. in real life i think i come across quite normal. thats the reality of depression i guess. its always right in front in you. can you imagine if i told my coworkers i used to think about bashing my head into walls??? right now they think im some ditzy, happy-go-lucky dumbass with her head in the clouds, which dont get me wrong, does coexist with the other part of my brain. but i just couldn't even imagine the look on their faces if i ever told them what i really think about. which brings me right back to the beginning..... what do they think about?

[imaperfectionist]

A VERY unpopular opinion. (Spop)

I'm just going to say it: I dont like Catra. Now dont get me wrong, she is a very interesting character with very believable traumas and emotions and reaction, but as of season 3, she is just screwing herself over more and more. I dont hate her by any means, but she's definitely not my favorite. Its just. She's making it very hard for me to like her. With that being said, here's the really unpopular opinion: I do not, nor will I ever, ship Catradora. Let me explain before you get your pitchforks. First off, I personally see them as best friends, if not sisters. While many people believe that they cannot be seen as adoptive sisters, I beg to differ. You dont have to have the 'foster home' environment to consider a person your sister. My best friend is like my sister. The same could easily be said for Catra and Asora. They grew up together, they were raised together, they did everything together. It's hard for me to see them not bonding together like sisters in the trying times that they grew up in. That's just my personal opinion. Now, for things with actual evidence in the show. First off, even when Adora was in the Horde, Catra was jealous of her. She was treated better by Shadow weaver, she always seemed to be the best, and everyone seemed to like her. That was everything Catra wanted, and it seems like that's not a good foundation to build a relationship on. Then think about all the terrible things Catra has put Adora through since Adora switched sides. There is the leaving her to die in Light Hope's temple thing; theres using corrupted first ones tech to LITERALLY CONTROL Adora; and now there is ending the whole fucking world to just get back at her. Even if the two do make up (which I sincerely hope happens some day), I find it very hard to believe that Adora will be able to completely forget what Catra did to her. It would be extremely hard to ever trust her again. Especially in a potentially romantic relationship. It's not healthy, and I honestly think it would never be healthy for either party. They need time apart from each other to figure things out first of all, and that's just to mend the basis of their friendship. Realistically speaking, I cant see it ever working. With all that being said, I am in no way attacking anyone who does support the ship. By all means, support it, love it, do whatever you want. This us just a personal opinion. And if you have any evidence that you feel I missed, please feel free to debate it with me. I'm always down for a friendly debate as long as it is just that. A friendly debate.

#she ra season 3 #she ra #she ra s2 #she ra season 2 #she ra season three #she ra spoilers #she ra pop #she ra adora #adora #catra #catadora #my personal thoughts #my opinion #show debate

[ofstarsandvibranium]

idk if this is helpful at all bc all mental probs are diff. but when i was havin probs my therapist told me to live life from one minute to the next at my worst, then move up a lil more each time i feel safe in it. usually i can stretch it to 6hrs. so like. ok all ive got to do is make it to the next six hours and i can say im still here. we're all works in progress always. ik it's not the healthiest either but things like picking/chewing yr lips/ideation/mutilation/alcohol-drug use (1/3)

relying on scrips/not showering/overeating/not eating healthy/etc all those things done in nonlethal amounts/ways are better than the alternative of u taking it to an extreme. so yeah it may suck that i didn't get out of bed today. i didnt make that phone call. i didnt eat. i thought a lot about bad things i wanted to do to myself-well at least i can say i am here still. it helps me manage at times when that's all i've got control over. just being able to know that im still holding on (2/3)

(3/3) it's not the healthiest way, but sometimes we cant afford to b perf specimens of health. we literally need to survive. crawl til we walk. im doing it. it takes a lot of practice and redirecting. i have to remind myself of the things i'm accomplishing that outweigh what im not. otherwise i get in a wormhole of self hate and terrorize myself for my lack of reaching self made finish lines. i have to allow myself to celebrate the major win: I'M STILL HERE. and so r u. i hope u find what u need

_________________________________________

I'm just exhausted, ya know? Like, I know what I'm getting upset and insecure about is stupid and small but the mentally unstable part of me is making it grow into something "big" and I'm just tired of the internal war I have going on inside me.

Like, one of my absolute best friends has a guy now and he makes her happy and they're freaking cute together. I'm happy and excited to see how their relationship progresses. That's the mentally sound part of my brain.

The mentally unstable part is upset and consistently saying to me "why cant you get a guy like that, huh? What's wrong with you? If she can get someone to like her for who she is, why cant you? It's probably because you're ugly and she's pretty." And it fucking sucks because this part of my brain wants me to be mad and jealous at my best friend's happiness but my mentally sound part of my brain knows that's stupid. Why should I be upset that my best friend is happy?

I'm grateful to be alive. I'm thankful to have food, shelter, a family, and people care about me.

But my fucked up part of my brain is telling me that it's all shit. None of it matters. I dont matter. I'm a nuisance. I'm annoying. I'm ugly.

BUT I KNOW THATS NOT TRUE.

I'm just so, so tired.

[prissypickle]

I did it

One year ago today I finished highschool. One year ago today I finished the toughest journeys of all times. Highschool was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. There was so many people who ruined it but there was so many people who made it better for me. My freshman year I attempted suicide and was admitted to a mental hospital and and no school wanted to take me in. At the time Fir Ridge Campus didn’t take in freshman. So I had no choice but to drop out. David Douglas straight up told me that I couldnt go there. I had too many problems and They couldn’t give me an education. In spring of my freshman year I enrolled in an online school called metro east web academy. Of course with all my mental health issues I had no motivation to do any of it. In the end I only got one credit for it. And that was for creative writing. I’m with ICTS which is where people come outd to your house three times a week for therapy. So I was with them for six months. It was hard saying goodbye. But then I went yo seeing a therapist once a week. I was still cutting often. But back to my schooling, I didn’t do anything and my mom was so pissed at the david doglas school district because the refused to put me in a school and finally she wrote a three page nasty letter saying how I needed to be in a school and thats how I got to fir ridge.

My freshman year I was so scared. I couldn’t tell you how scared I was. I didn’t go to school. I was fucked up in the head, cutting and I didn’t know anyone. So I didn’t really talk to anyone on my first day. But within a few days I met a small group of friends that I could relate to. Which was great. The next best thing was that there was a school counselor and a therapist that came to the school. So on top of going to seeing a therapist once a week I went to see him once a week. He was from Trillium services. He was a great therapist. I saw him from 45 minutes to an hour. My school counselor was mamed Michael and he was probably the best counselor anyone could ask for. He understood me. When I needed my space he let me sit in the office or library and do my work. When I had my mental break downs he gave me a quiet space. He was amazing. I have terrible anxiety with loud noises and whenever we had a firedrill I would cry and have a panic attack when there was he warned me and brought me to the office telling me when so I wasnt as afraid. As I said. He was the best school counselor anyone could ask for.

I had this friend. Her name was Iris. I cared for her so so much she was my first friend I made in middle school and she went to a diffent school but she had problems at the time and so she was looking into my school and I was thrilled. But before ahe came she also had issues and so she went to a rehab place. I called her family every day to see how she was doing. I sent flowers and cards because well, wouldn’t a best friend do that? When she got out she started at Fir Ridge Campus a bit later. I was so happy we reunited again. We started having sleep overs and everything. Okay? But one time during a sleepover she stole her parents credit card and bought something, which was a peircing kit and I had no idea so she came to my house when it was delivered and took it before I was home. I’ll also mention around two years ago she stole my ipod. But anyway so this happened and it happened once more but with tea but ahe sent it to her house instead of mine. So her mom was like “you arent ever allowed to see her again” blaming me for her daughter peircing herself. That was the hardest thing for me to hear because she was my best friend. Or so I thought she was. I believe this was all happening during my Junior year or late sophomore I cant remember it was so hectic. Ill come back to this bitch a little bit later.

But my Junior year I did this amazing thing called camp pheniox. That was the second the best and worst part of highschool. Its a two day overnight camp plus 4 weeks of after care. During the two nights you broke yourself down talking about the horrible things in life and at the end you are rebuilding yourself and raising up into a pheniox. During the process you did multiple activites which were happy, sad and heartbreaking realizing how fucked up and broken you were on the inside. One of the days you clumb a tree and tell everyone what you committ to. And I said I committ to my family and my support system. And then you had to walk on a tightrope with another person and jump when you couldnt do it anymore. And the other classmates are completely in control of the rope and your harness. Then the second activity we did was get in a harness and go up and your classmates pull you up until you say stop. Basically a gaiant swing okay. So I was letting go past teachers which I will get on explaining to more. And then letting in good teachers and then you yank it and I did a 90 foot free fall and holy shit was that fun. As i said it was the best and wors part of it because i landed up in teen intensive outpatient because I was cutting and I was extremely depressed.

But back to the teacher thing. There was a history teacher her name was Karen and she was a bitch to me. She hated me. And She KNEW i struggled with anxiety and she KNEW that I hated being with loud people and so I always needed to go to the office to see a counselor and I always finished up my work at home. And finally she was like you have to go to detention to finish this. And so Im in the office complete sobbing and my council waves it off. And other time with her was when my counselor talked to her about it she didnt talk to me for 3 DAYS like seriously she was so immature. Then When I came back from thr weekend she didnt call on anyone else but me. Then at the end of the week there was a new seating chart and I came in late because I was talking yo the trillium therapist okay and she shows me my seat and Im calm and I say no. And shes like yes. And I calmly explain to her why I cant go sit next to him because be gave me anxiety. And then she PROCEEDS to yell at me infront of the whole class who is now stairing at me and Im completely crying now infront of the class go to the principals office to fucking write me a refferl because i was arguing with her. Which the princapal immediately threw it out. The princapal at the time was absolutely amazing. She took me out on the track as I cried and walked with me.

So my junior year is happening and I went to camp pheniox and outdoor school it was great okay. So I went to outdoor school for my third session and I broke my ankle and had to stay home for a week and you remember this Iris girl who is my best friend??? Well not anymore. When I was away at outdoor school where I couldn’t DEFEND myself she went to the counselor and said. That I raped her and drugged her with majauana. And In like balling my eyes out because Im so fucking confused and why she did that. And so the counselor literally asked if I did it and Im like what the fuck do you really think I did it. And Im like crying at her because Im so upset. Like who in the right mind would accuse someone of rape. I mean I work with children. I was a swim instructor at the time. If she went to the police I could’ve been arrested and fired from my job which she didnt go because she knew she was a lying skank ass bitch. Also they couldve drug tested me because I wasnt even smoking at the time! And so Im in the office and my counselor is like “what are you feeling?” And I littlerly upfront say” I want to punch this bitch in the face,” she she looked at me “you cant do that” and Im like “no shit I cant do it. I want to but tgat doesnt mean I am going to.” And she sighs like after and hour of fuming she tells me Im not allowed to tell ANYONE and Im like fine whatever.

But I go to my momma jill and tell her and I like an crying to her and shes just holding me. But seriously then the vice principal calls me in during third period to talk more about what happened ALSO i had a freaking alliby because I was at fucking teen Intensive outpaitent during the time she accused me! Basically it was a whole clusterfuck

. It got 100% worse when there was an assembly and youll never guess who was running it the skank ass Iris. So she started talking about rape. And then she says “someone here raped me” and then she looked over at me. I kid you not. And my dad was there and he stood up and I cant remember exactly what he said but it was along the lines of “you shouldnt accuse anyone of rape either,” he said or something like that Im to busy crying and my teacher holding my hand. Finally my dad comes over to me and says were leaving. So my worst fear now the whole school knows that Iris accused me of rape and drugging her. So im literally in the gym having the WORST mental breakdown of my life and I mean screaming at the too of my lungs dropping to the knees hitting the floor. There was the security guy and Joey one of the teachers along with the princapal and vice principal trying to calm me down. And my dads crying because hes upset because of what Iris had said. And they told me to stay home for a few days until I could calm down.

So I came bac the following monday. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I almost had another suicide attempt but I thought about Taylor Swift and how I would never get t meet her and that just made me hold onto life just a little bit longer. So by the end of the year it was time for prom and so I was nominated for.... you guessed it prom court equivalent to prom princess/prince and can you guesd who was nominated too? That bitch Iris. So we were BOTH up against each other and trust me I was NOT going to let her win. So I baked my ass off and probably made over 200 cupcakes and fed them to the entire school and when I was time for prom. I won. I won prom princess. That was the best night of my entire life. My entire highschool carrer I felt normal. Everything was perfect

. Soon my Junior year ended. And summer came and went and my Senior yesr started. I only needed 1 credit to graduate .5 government .5 global studies. So I took government first which I got like knocked down a ton because i refused to do presentations because i hate speaking infront of a class but I still passed with a A. Then global studies I REFUSED to take with Karen again. So I did 5 at least 250 page packets in one quarter. And I still graduated early two quarters early. I started school my sophomore year because they didnt count it as a freshman and ended my senior year. I worked my ass off. And I graduated in 2 1/2 years. I graduated. I did it. I made it. Evern after a suicide attempt. Witnessing my mom attempt suicide my sophmore year, Iris accusing me of rape. All of that and I still graduated and I was second in class too. I’ve never been more proud of myself in my entire life. I didnt think id ever make it here. I thought in 2014 I was going to die. But I didnt. I’m still here. Alive and succeeding in life. Im a caregiver now. I’m getting my CNA in July. I made it. I did it.

#little #babygirl #little space #baby #little girl #little one #age regression #princess #daddy #mommy #my story #graduation #class of 2018 #highschool #high school

[yourkittywilde]

i like me better when i’m with you

TAGGING  → @yourkittywilde​ & @sammynolanh​

TIME FRAME  → ummm mid feburary (i think. i’m terrible).

LOCATION  → NYC locations + Sammy’s apartment

WARNINGS  → Alcohol. Also this is HELLA long. 

NOTES  → Sammy returns from filming in LA. There’s coffee, napping, and drinking. And they decide to move in together when they get to LA. 

KITTY

Kitty was still debating even showing up to meet Sammy as she got to the coffee shop. It was easier to feel like she didnt need or want him around when he was thousands of miles away. She had done everything she could think of to prepare herself for his realization that they couldn't work any longer -- shed given dude back, she'd taken down the Polaroids from her wall, and kept Netflix off since it always seemed to watch to recomend she watch his movies again . Kitty had told him over and over again that she was terrible at relationships and she would eventually push him away, and the blonde felt as though it may have sunk in. Her heart sinks to her stomach when she sees her boyfriend -- he was still her boyfriend, right? -- and she wants to turn and run. But she could hardly avoid him forever (she'd tried that once). She swallowed nervously and took a seat across from him, looking down at the cup in his hand and up at him. "Hey. Welcome home."

SAMMY

Sammy was so lost in his thoughts, looking down at his hands, that he hadn’t even seen or heard Kitty sit across from him until he heard her voice which removed him from thoughts, a smile appearing on his lips without a second thought. He was happy to see her, and even went to hug her until he remembered the terms they were on and he reserved himself. He didn’t even know if she wanted him to touch her. “I- sorry... hey, thanks. It’s good to be back.” He offered her a small smile. “How are you?” He asked, not that he really expected to get an answer from her but he did want to know.

KITTY

Kitty's lips press together sadly as she watches Sammy move in and then change his mind. This was awkward... They really should have done this over text message or the phone or something equally less confronting."its fine... and yeah, I bet." She says simply, her fingers idly combing through her hair. "Yup... i'm great." It was the answer that fell from her lips whenever she was forced to engage in small talk.  Truthfully this week had somehow managed to be one of the best weeks of her life... while simultaneously sucking. "How's Dude?"

SAMMY

Sammy chewed on his lip and sat quietly in his chair, hearing Kitty make bullshit conversation. He only had one question on his mind and he couldn’t wait to get an answer. “Did you come here to break up with me?” He blurted out, maybe a little too loud. “Do you not love me anymore?” He asked a lot quieter and feeling extremely vulnerable like he didn’t want to hear the answer. He looked away from her, feeling himself become emotional as her took deep breaths.

KITTY

Her eyebrows furrow, and she's surprisingly not even concerned about who might be listening to their conversation. "I dont love you." It meant to come off as a question, but the way her heart was beating from her chest was making it difficult to breathe let alone fully understand what was happening right now and respond appropriately. She had been just waiting for it to be over with. "I don't want to break up with you." The words stumble only a little. "I mean, I thought about it... a lot. When we started dating I was basically homeless, I was this poor college student, and you were... well, you." She shrugs. "And I want to be successful, Sammy. Like not the sort of successful people settle for, the sort where Im on top. I dont want to always be questioned if I'm getting somewhere because I'm Samuel Hummel's girlfriend." She pauses, and steals Sammy's coffee, bringing it to her lips -- she needed caffeine way more than he did right now. "But aren't you here to end things anyway? So none of this even matters."

SAMMY

Sammy felt his heart drop to the floor but continued listening as she spoke, a mix of emotions running through him. He scoffed. “Kitty, I want you to be successful. I want you to be more than successful... and like you’ve said, I’m a C list actor. I’m nothing. You’re fucking awesome, you’ll come on top because you’re you...” he huffed and furrowed his brows as she took his cup from him. The sleeve falling apart from him picking at it.  “End things? You’re the one who didn’t want to talk to me. ...I just want to fix things... I just want to understand why you won’t open up to me... I thought we were past this.”

KITTY

"You're B list." She admits. "And you're not nothing. Everyone loves you. But the world is biased." She shakes her head and slides back the tattered coffee cup to the brunette. "Theres always some old white man somewhere who believes a woman cant make it without a man." Aka her father. But sammy was right, everytime kitty thinks she's making progress opening up to Sammy, life intervenes and her first response is to push the man away. But she didnt really know how to put that into words. "How am I supposed to know when I can open up to you and when I cant? You're never here, Sammy. I get it, you have work or... whatever...but, while you've been off working I've been here."

SAMMY

As Kitty pushed back the cup to him, he took hold of her hand gently and nodded “You’re right. There will always be someone saying you can’t do it. You don’t think I’ve heard it a million times? I’m a joke to some people and while, yes it sucks, I still believe in what I do and so should you... Who fucking cares what the others think when you’re out there being successful and living your best life... I know you’re going to make it big someday.” He assured her and shook his head as he squeezed her hand. “Kitty, you can always talk to me, no matter where I am. I’m always going to be there to listen and support you. I don’t know where you get the idea that I won’t.” He sighed.

KITTY

Kitty doesnt move away when Sammys hand touches hers. In fact she could almost feel herself start to relax -- It was comforting, the sort of comfort she'd never been able to find with anyone else. "I don't care what everyone thinks." Not really a lie. "I care what my parents think." Kitty looks down at their hands, and sighs under her breath. "If I can't get them to believe I can make it on my own, how do I get the rest of the world?" Her gaze moves to meet Sammy, and she bites down on her lip softly as she listens to him talk. "I cant do that. I can't just call you up and talk to you about my feelings... I'm not that girl. I need you here." She takes a breath, and reminds herself that hes a celebrity and they're in public. "I'm sorry for telling you I didn't want to talk to you? But since when do you actually listen to me when I tell you to leave? Or stay away? So, i dont know, it seemed fair to assume you were done."

SAMMY

Sammy nodded, knowing what it was about now. “I know, babe. But you’ll show them. You’re going to make it big and then they’ll know, whether they accept it or not.” He brought her hand up to his lips and then caressed it against his face. “I know and it hasn’t been easy for me to be away either. I know it’s not the same as us being together and I’m sorry for being away for so long but it is something I can’t control, Kitty... that’s something we’ll have to work on and hopefully get better at. But once we’re in LA it shouldn’t be a problem....” he sighed and dropped their hands back down but still holding hers in his. “I wanted to to give you the space you asked for... I was going to call you and all but then you gave Dude back and I didn’t know what to think... I thought you were done with me, too.” He confessed.

KITTY

Kitty nods, she logically knows Sammy had no control over his filming schedule... She just missed her boyfriend. Besides, he'd done everything he could to be back as much as possible. "I know." There's a faint smile on her lips for the first time when he kisses her hand, and all she wants to do is lean over the table and actually kiss him. "I don't think I can do long distance anymore." She says honestly. "So if you could plan your next movie for when I'm in L.A that would be great." Kitty's tone is very matter of fact, because while she trusted Sammy -- shockingly -- it was too easy for her to push him away wen he wasn't here, for her to just assume he wasn't coming back. She shakes her head, "No...I'm not done with you."

SAMMY

Sammy felt a sigh of relief leave his lips and his body visibly relaxed at her words. They were out of the woods for now. “I have no upcoming movies, I got all my filming out of the way this month... any news on jobs out in LA for you?” He asked, hopeful for her.  He moved over to the chair next to Kitty’s just wanting to be closer to her. He leaned against her and kissed her cheek. “Good, cause I’m not done with you either. We should go out tonight.” He suggested.

KITTY

Kitty actually found herself smiling when Sammy moved closer, an hour ago she was convinced her relationship was coming to an end, smiling didn't feel even close to doable. She shifts her hand to rest contently on his leg, "I actually got a job." Her smile widened, it was the first time she had  said the words out loud... Or told anyone besides a professor at NYU. "I got the job... It's entry level obviously,  and I think there's currently a 'kitty wilde destroyed my life club' because of it, but I had a meeting with TMZ on Valentine's Day -- I think they got sick of my daily emails with new and amazing reasons why they should hire me." She shrugged. "Anywhom... I pitched a few stories, and they didn't hate them, I guess. I found out on Monday I got a job... I wanted to tell you, but well... yeah. Just don't tell me that I'm an awful person. That's old news, and besides, I did what I needed to do." She turned to him and bit down on her lip as she realized she sort of just rambled on. "Yes, let's go out tonight." Kitty murmurs happily, not able to stop herself from looking at his lips. "Since we're not breaking up right now can I kiss you again?"

SAMMY

Sammy did a double take as she said the words. He was so happy for her. “What? You got the job?!” He asked ecstatically, a huge dopey grin reached his ears as he pulled her in for a tight hug, rocking her back and forth in her seat. He knew how much she wanted it and how hard she worked for it. “Holy shit, babe. That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.” He pulled away slightly but not before kissing her deeply. “You can kiss me as many times as you want.” He grinned. “So, when do you start?”

KITTY

Kitty hadn't expected that reaction from Sammy -- she honestly hadn't expected that reaction from anyone considering the circumstances. She grins and wraps her arms around him tightly, allowing herself to be genuinely super happy about everything for the first time since she got the news. "I got the job." She repeats and laughs a little, finally feeling her body relax as he embraced her.  "Thanks, hot shot." She says with a soft smile before leaning into his lips -- beyond thankful she didn't have to give that up. "Good... The whole making out thing is most of the reason I have a boyfriend." She teases, before pulling away. "I start in a month... But I guess a week of that has already passed now... so three weeks?"

SAMMY

Sammy rolled his eyes at her comment but then raised his brow “So you’re moving to LA in less than a month? Girl, we have to look for places and areas, LA can be very sketchy.” He warned her.

KITTY

"I move to LA in less than a month..." She scrunches up her nose a little as she repeats the words, the girl hadn't really thought about how quick that sounded. "I sort of didn't think about the whole physical moving part to be honest. I was more worried about the job part. I haven't even started looking for places to live." She admits. "But I survived in my tiny shoe box apartment in a somewhat sketchy area in New York, I'm sure LA is going to be easy."

SAMMY

“Holy crap, Kitty. We need to look for places for you. I can help you. And I need to look for a place too, hopefully somewhere close to you...” he rambled as he pulled out his phone. “Well, yeah. But people are more homey here. LA is filled with mean people who don’t give a fuck about you.” He mentioned as he shot a text to his assistant.

KITTY

"Sammy..." She smiled, and rested her hand on his arm. "We have time... and you don't have to move." Granted after their last conversation it probably wouldn't be great for their relationship, but Kitty wasn't about to force anyone to move their life to a new state.  "Breathe. Nothing has to be sorted right now... I just got my boyfriend back, and you're probably the only person on the planet right now who can share my excitement. So can we go and celebrate or something? ... Now that we're definitely not breaking up?" She added, needing to make sure with certainty she wasn't about to let her walls down again to be heartbroken like an hour later.

SAMMY

Sammy had set his mind a while back when Kitty has first mentioned LA and it was somewhere he definitely wanted to be with Kitty. It also just made sense for his career in general and his agent and assistant would be thrilled for him to be in the city. More opportunities for him to work on. “Oh, I’m moving. What if you find a hotter Netflix star?” He joked. “I’m definitely gonna be around.” He grinned and kissed her cheek. “Okay, yes. We will look at this later, I have to go home and check on Dude before we do anything tonight. You coming?”

KITTY

"True... LA is crawling with hot Netflix stars. And I might actually have a shot with Luke if you're not standing in the way like you were at the Christmas party." She muses teasingly and smiles bashfully at the kiss on her cheek. There was no doubt in her mind, she already had the hottest one. Kitty perked up at the mention of seeing Dude, she hadn't seen him in days and that felt like a really really long time to her.  The two hadn't spent that long apart since Sammy and Kitty went to Florida. "Yes." She nods, trying not to show how enthusiastic she was about seeing the dog. "He's okay... Yeah?" She asks standing up from the chair. "Like, when you got him. He was ok?"

SAMMY

Sammy flares at Kitty. “That’s not funny, cause Luke actually asked me for your number a few days after that.” He bit his lip at the confession and looked away. “Anyway, yeah, he’s doing great. He was very excited to see me so I suppose that’s a good sign.” He smiled at Kitty as he stood with her. “Let’s go, okay? I’m sure Dude is going to be ecstatic to see you.”

KITTY

"Whoa whoa whoa." Kitty lowers her voice to try and jokingly resemble her boyfriend's. "Did you sabotage my chances with Luke? Again?" She feigns shock, looking up and scrunching her nose at Sammy. Not that she cared, it was Sammy she wanted... she just didn't want to admit that at the time. "That's good." She responds about Dude, feeling a pang of guilt when she thinks about him not being with either of them for a few days. The idea of ending a relationship with Sammy and losing Dude on the same day hurt way too much. She pushes open the door of the coffee shop, and feels the cold air brush her cheeks immediately. "I'm sorry I gave him back." She eventually gets the words to roll from her tongue, folding her arms in front of her chest. "How did you get here?"

SAMMY

Sammy looked away sheepishly as he bit his lips. “He wasn’t right for you.” Sammy mentioned as he made his way out the door with Kitty, searching for her hand and intertwining their fingers together. “It’s okay. We forgive you.” He smiled at the girl. “I walked. Needed to clear my head but it didn’t really work, I was really nervous about everything.” Sammy shrugged, bringing her hand back up to his lips. It was very comforting to him.

KITTY

"Worst. Wingman. Ever." She replies, sideeyeing Sammy. "Is this where you get really cheesy and tell me he couldn't have been right for me because you are?" Her fingers latch into his and the girl cant help the soft smile from dancing on her lips, thankful he wasnt holding it against her that she stopped looking after the dog -- God knows if the situation was reversed Kitty wouldn't be as forgiving. She wants to apologize and tell him it won't happen again, but she wasn't going to make a promise she couldn't keep. Because it didnt matter how many perfect words Sammy sang it was like Kitty was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. "There's no polar blast, so we can walk, I guess." She comments, squeezing his hand gently. "Still nervous?"

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head and brushed off her comment with a small laugh. He knew he wasn’t perfect for Kitty but he also knew Luke definitely wasn’t either. He pressed soft kisses to her hand and walked idly along with her down the sidewalk. He definitely felt relieved but he was always nervous about Kitty, he didn’t know if he’d ever not be. And sometimes, most times, it was a good kind of nervous as it had become now. Sammy shrugged a little and leaned his head on hers. “You always make me nervous.” He sighed with a small smile.

KITTY

"Because I'm so unpredictably wild?" She asks with a short laugh. "Kidding... I know you're being sappy." Kitty nudges his side playfully. The two were so different, and maybe on paper they shouldn't work, but the thought of not being with him scared the blonde more than anything had in some time -- the past week showed her that. "So where are we going tonight? Because as much as I love Sassy Nights, it reminds me of my lost dreams of becoming a stripper."

SAMMY

“Yeah, honestly. You are unpredictable, but I love that about you.” He responded with a small nod as he brought their hands back down, he ended up wrapping his arm around her shoulder instead. “Okay, where would you like to go? I’m down for any hole in the wall bar.” He smiled.

KITTY

"You do?" She furrows her brows, knowing there's a part of him that's probably lying about that -- like, surely no one wants to constantly be guessing if they're girlfriend is going to push them away today. Kitty snakes her arm around his waist and leans her head contently on his chest. "A hole in the wall sounds great... anywhere you can avoid paparazzi and girls trying to steal you away all dang night." She muses, biting down on her lip gently -- she would fight anyone for Sammy, but she had only just got him back. Her lips curl into a smile when they get to Sammy's apartment building, it had been weeks since shed been here but the familiarity of the place was comforting. Plus, dude was inside!

SAMMY

“I think so, yeah. Like don’t get me wrong you frustrate me sometimes but it keeps me on my toes and I like that... idk maybe that’s the actor in me liking the roller coaster of emotions.” He shrugged with a nervous chuckle “I’m sure there will be girls trying to steal me away at any bar.” He teased and shoved her playfully as they reached his apartment. He greeted the doorman and they made their way up to the apartment. Upon entering they were immediately greeted by the cheerful puppy. Sammy crouched down to pick him. “Hey little dude, excited to see someone.” He chuckled and handed him off to Kitty after a few licks from the pup.

KITTY

Kitty nods slowly as he talks. "You are a very emotional person." She comments with a teasing smile. "No girls are allowed to steal you away tonight." She says with a serious look, her eyebrows furrowed. "You're mine, they can go and find someone whose girlfriend isnt prepared to set a killer dog on them. Maybe we should go to a gay bar..." she pauses as she remembers Sammy would probably be more interested in that. "Actually, no." Kitty grinned the second they entered the apartment and Dude showed up. She bites her lip a little nervously watching the two and feeling kinda guilty for giving him back. Sammy and dude were like... family. "Hey..." she takes him into her arms, her nose scrunching as he licks it. "Sorry, buddy." She says softly to him. "But hey, your dad's home." She smiles and looks at Sammy. "Yeah I know, im totally the fun one."

SAMMY

“No one could steal me away from you even if they tried. I’m yours babygirl.” He smiled back at her. “Alright, we’ll find a place.” He nodded. He made his way further into the apartment and sat down on his couch, looking up at Kitty. “C’mere.” He said reaching out for her.

KITTY

Not that she'd admit it -- because petnames were super cheesy -- but it still made kitty's heart race whenever he called her that. She rolls her eyes playfully and with the pup still in her arms she moves to where Sammy is sitting, straddling his waist before letting Dude off onto the couch. "I missed you." She murmurs quietly as she looks down and picks off the little dog hairs from his shirt one by one. "Hey.. are you still going to think I'm a good person when I'm writing about people... like, that you know?"

SAMMY

Sammy waited for the puppy to jump off to wrap his arms around the girl. “I’ve missed you, too. So much.” He told her with soft smile as he pressed kisses to her head. “I mean you’re not writing lies... I don’t see how writing the truth would make you a bad person.” He replied honestly.

KITTY

The faint look of worry on her face changes with Sammy's words. Why couldn't everyone see it as he did? "You're awfully open minded for an actor who's sort-of-sexy face is all over our site." Our site -- it felt way more real now that Sammy knew. She looks up to meet his eyes before leaning in to kiss him, smiling against his lips as the taste off coffee still lingers. "Thank you though." She says quietly as she pulls away. "So I guess now I'm moving to LA in three weeks, we're not going to Mexico?" She asks, her fingers twirling into hair as she speaks.

SAMMY

Sammy shrugged. He had always been pretty open minded about most things. “Sort of sexy?” He raised a brow at her but melted into her kiss. “Mexico?” He asked, forgetting for a moment about what they had talked about. “Oh, right, sorry. My brain is all jumbled. We can still go to Mexico. It would be nice to take a little vacation just the two of us.” He smiled at the girl and squeezed his arms tightly around her.

KITTY

"You forgot?" Kitty shakes her head. "What is it you think about when you're away anyway? Because when Dude and I aren't having elaborate coffee dates, I'm thinking about you... On a beach...wearing very little clothing." She smirks, as she presses soft loving kisses along his jaw. "But I guess we can also do that in LA now come summer, so I'll forgive you for forgetting our incredibly briefly discussed vacation." To be fair their conversation had been a little about mexico and a lot about threesomes. "Is there anything I can do to help with the whole jumbled brain thing?" She asks genuinely. Normally that comment wouldn't get a second thought from Kitty, but it was Sammy, and Sammy seemed to always be an exception.

SAMMY

“Mostly scripts I have to learn and publicity shit.” He replied honestly. “And I think about missing you and being here with you...” he smiled at her and tilted his head as she pressed kisses to his skin. “I mean, we can still go. I can get things set up so we can go before LA, unless you want to wait until after we move in.” Sammy told her and looked down at her with a genuine smile. “It’s getting better. But I think I’m just tired from all the work I did this month. But thank you for offering.” He told her and kissed her cheek.

KITTY

"I'm not gonna have a whole lot of time when I get to LA... I'm not as charming as you, and it's really important to me to not to mess anything up, you know? I need this job to go well." She says with half a shrug. "We can go to Mexico, but it's not the end of the world if we dont, babe... It was a passing conversation." Kitty nods at his answer, "Do you want to take a nap or... something? I can take Dude to the park or go back to Louis' for a bit. And we can always just go out tomorrow night... give you time to relax or whatever it is B list celebs do when they finish filming movies."

SAMMY

“I totally get that.” He nodded and rubbed her back. “We will do whatever you want to do. I’m in no rush.” He responded. He pouted playfully because he was thinking of a nap but he didn’t want kitty to leave. “You know me. But I don’t want you to go. I want you to be my body pillow.” He said as he squeezed around her and buried his face in her neck. “You’re comfy.” He mumbled against her skin.

KITTY

"There's always after graduation." Between working and college, Kitty's not even sure how she'll have time to see Sammy let alone go out of the country -- though there are worse places to be confined to than L.A. She laughs a little at Sammy's pout, rolling her eyes. "Fiine" She grumbles jokingly, and pulls herself up from the boy's lap before extending him her hand to take. "I'll stay. C'mon.... Let's go take a nap, sleepy head."

SAMMY

Sammy grinned. “I love you so much.” He chuckled as he took her hand and followed her back to his bedroom. “Just like an hour nap then we can get ready to go out, promise.” He told her as he jumped into his bed.

KITTY

"Yeah yeah, I've heard that before." She laughs softly, watching as the puppy follows Sammy's lead in jumping onto the bed. "It's like having two of you home." She teases, following them both and crawling up next to the scruffy haired brunette. "I love you." Kitty strokes his cheek lightly before leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Just in case I haven't told you in a while." And she hadn't... Not since before she snapped at him. Dude curled up between their legs and Kitty let's her boyfriend's head rest on her chest. "I'm glad you're home." She says simply as her fingers stroke through his hair. "Now go to sleep so we can do something not boring."

SAMMY

Sammy yawned briefly before cuddling into Kitty’s side. “I’m glad I’m home, too.” He smiled and soon drifted to sleep, only to awake about 45 minutes later feeling a lot better and refreshed. He stretched himself out in bed and looked to his side to see if Kitty had stuck around.

KITTY

Kitty didnt have the 'sleep anywhere' skill Sammy had -- she sort of envied the way he was able to just fall asleep at any time. She had put on the television, quietly watching it with Dude as her boyfriends head rested on her. "Hey. Welcome back." She joked when  she realized he was awake. "Feel any better?"

SAMMY

Sammy smiled up at Kitty with squinting eyes and nodded as he continued to stretch. “Mhmm. Lot better.” He murmured and went up to kiss Kitty on the cheek. He sat up and pet Dude before turning back to look at Kitty again. “Imma go ahead and take a shower. Do you want to join?” He asked with a raised brow.

KITTY

"Good idea... you smell like... a boy." Kitty scrunches her nose teasingly before nodding, "I should probably check the water pressure." She replies with a half smile. "Since you know, its been a while since I've been here." The girl gets up from the bed, stretching slightly as though she had just been asleep -- it was kind of exhausting doing nothing. "Come on, hot shot. Before you decide you need to sleep again."

SAMMY

Sammy laughed and and got off the bed, following her to the bathroom. His arms wrapped around her waist from behind as he kissed her shoulder. “I’ve miss you so so much.” He gave her a tight hug before he pulled away to remove his shirt and pants. Then he walked over to turn the water on, making sure it was at the right temperature before turning back to Kitty. “Ladies first.” He grinned

KITTY

"Oh my gosh." She laughs at the arms suddenly embracing her tightly from behind. "I missed you too, weirdo." Kitty turns to him as he pulls away, her smile widening a little when his clothes come off -- she couldn't help it. "You're still a little good looking I see." She smirks and takes her own clothes off, not really caring about them falling to the ground messily. "That's very gentlemanly of you... also very 1950s." She steps into the warm water, and holds out her hand for Sammy and pulls him in with her. "Much better."

SAMMY

Sammy winked at her and joined her under the water. He lets the hot water collide against his back for a moment, letting out a soft groan of pleasure before he pulls Kitty under the stream with him. “How’s the water pressure?” He asked

KITTY

Kitty presses her lips together and hums softly at the question, letting the water wet her hair and warm the rest of her body. "I give it an eight out of ten." She says with a simple nod, letting her hands glide  gently down Sammy's side idly as she talked. "The company is... slightly above average."

SAMMY

“Slightly above average, huh?” He raised a brow. “And what could said company do to make it better?” He asked with a bite to his lip as he admires the girl’s body, glistening under the water.

KITTY

Kitty shrugs. "The company should come closer." She muses, her fingers lingering on his abs as she lifts her eyes to meet his. "And then the company should probably stop talking and start kissing me... sort of like kissing in the rain, but we're less likely to catch pneumonia which makes it way more romantic."

SAMMY

Sammy bit his lip as she spoke. His hands wandered to her waist and pulled her in close, her front touching his. He leaned down, his lips ghosted over hers and he nipped at them gently before he kissed her deeply.

KITTY

Her eyes followed Sammy's movements, and she couldn't stop her heart from speeding up when his body became flush with hers. Her arms reach up to wrap around his shoulders, her fingers twirl into the back of his wet hair, and she happily let's herself melt in the feeling of his lips meeting hers. This was everything she didnt expect when she got out of bed this morning sure they were about to break up. Lost in the kiss, Kitty loses her balance for a second, stumbling on her own feet and falling back into the wall of the shower, pulling Sammy with her. "Sorry." She murmurs against him, a half smirk lighting her lips. "But I'm pleased to report the company has improved their score." She chews on her bottom lip and untangles her body from her boyfriend, pushing him back into the water stream playfully. "You're meant to be cleaning yourself." She says,  grabbing the body wash and throwing it at him. "You should really stop getting so distracted, babe."

SAMMY

Sammy yelped a bit and caught himself with one hand against the wall, laughing over the short girl. “It’s okay. You’re cute, so you get a pass.” He grins and raises a brow. “Ah, really?  What’s the score now?” He asked as he was pushed back into the water. He caught the bottle and nodded. “Alright, Alright.” He said pouring some on his hand and handing it back to her. “Get my back?” He asked as he turned away from her and soaped himself down.

KTTY

"Company gets an eight out of ten." Anything higher would give the male way too much of an ego. She laughs softly and takes the bottle back from Sammy. "How did you even survive without me in LA for a month?" Kitty teases, pouring a small amount on her hands and rubbing her hands down his -- surprisingly toned -- back. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you go to the gym and yet... You look like this." She shakes her head and uses the remaining soap on her own body, though she had showered earlier that day. "It's a miracle."

SAMMY

“Only an eight?” He questioned and laughed. “It was hard, had to get one of those scrubby things on a stick.” He grinned . Sammy actually went to the gym all the time, he enjoyed being active just as much as he liked settling down. “I go regularly, actually. Have a trainer and everything. This body is far from a miracle.” He chuckled softly as he finished washing his body.

KITTY

"What a hassle." She chuckled slightly, rinsing the soap from her hands and her body. Kitty raised her eyebrows, "You do?" She looked up at Sammy curiously, and leaned her side against the wall. "I mean... of course you do." He was an actor, he'd be stupid not to. But sometimes it became super obvious to her how little time they've actually spent together since getting into a relationship. "Is your trainer hot?"

SAMMY

“Exactly.” He agreed with a smile,  “Yeah, at least a few times a week.” He shrugged and turned to look at Kitty. He rinsed off and got closer to the girl. “Eh, I mean I guess.” He answered, not really finding his trainer attractive but wanting to be nice about it.

KITTY

"It's like I know nothing about you." She muses only half joking, her lips pressing together a little. "What other totally boring secrets are you keeping from me?" Kitty asks with a faint smile, her hand gliding over his chest as she moves past him and out of the shower. "You guess? So you dont know if they're hot... or you dont know if you want to tell me if they're hot?" She asks, avoiding eye contact as she reaches for a towel -- trying so hard not to sound like a jealous girlfriend.

SAMMY

“You know I’ll tell you anything you want to know. This just never came up.” He leans in to peck her lips before she escapes from him. “Secrets? You know all my secrets.” He muttered. He shook his head. “No, I mean he’s hot, conventionally. But I don’t really find him attractive.” He shrugged. “He’s also like 15 years older than me.” He chuckled.

KITTY

"Please, you have no secrets." Kitty rolls her eyes, and uses the towel to dry herself before wrapping it around her and hooking it under her arms. "You're like... the most squeaky clean person I've ever met." She folds her arms in front of her and leans lazily against the wall, her wet hair still dripping down her back. "In fact it would almost make sense for you to be harboring a massive secret crush on your maybe-hot, mysterious, older personal trainer." She looks up at the tall brunette with a faint smile.

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled softly and shrugged at her words as he exited the shower after her, turning the water off. He walks up to her and presses her up against the wall with a raised brow. “Are you jealous?” He asked and leaned into kiss her temple. “You’re the only one I’m interested in. As cheesy as that sounds. I don’t want anyone else...”

KITTY

Kitty huffs quietly, "I don't get jealous." She lies, her eyes lifting to his lips pressing against her head. "Okay. Fine... maybe a little. Dont make a thing of it." She pouts a little and reaches for his waist, ignoring the fact hes just wetting her towel more and pulls him closer. "It's cheesy... and I still want to see shirtless pics of this personal trainer of yours. I need to see all competition."

SAMMY

Sammy tilts his head and raises his brows again. “Oh, really?” He chuckled as she admitted her jealousy “You’re fucking cute.” He grinned into her hair. “I’m not sure I have any shirtless pics of him but I’ll link you to his Instagram.” He compromised with her. “Maybe you can come train with us sometime.” He smiled at her.

KITTY

Kitty scrunches her nose, "I think I'll just stalk his insta. I don't really do gyms... There's only so long I can watch ego-driven men stand in front of a mirror flexing and being all like, 'do you even lift?'" She lowers her voice to try and imitate a dude's, shaking her head. "I'll stick to kick boxing and yoga." She leans in and kisses his chest softly before pushing him off her with one hand and passing him a towel. "Besides, I don't wanna invade your secret life." She teases.

SAMMY

Sammy threw his head back in laughter at her impression. “Seriously the cutest... we should do yoga sometime. Like couples yoga.” He mentioned as he took the towel from her, drying himself off. “Psh, you’re my girl. You get to know everything.” He smiled genuinely at her as he nodded towards the room where he was heading to. He looked through his closet, pulling on some boxers as he decided what to wear. “How casual are we going?”

KITTY

Kitty hushed him, "Not cute, thankyouverymuch." She raised a brow at his mention of doing yoga together. Kitty had started yoga at the beginning of college -- something her roommate of two minutes suggested to help her "chill", the blonde went to prove a point and as much as she wanted to hate it, she just never stopped. "You... Samuel Hummel -- the sleepiest boy in the world -- wants to go to yoga?" She chuckles, and takes a seat on his bed. "Well, I have like, four, changes of clothes here so... We can go super casual, I'm talking sweatpants and a hoodie, which I think belongs to you anyway. We can do normal casual, or we can do slightly above casual." She lists off. "Or sexy and slutty. But that's probably more of a for-your-eyes-only outfit."

SAMMY

Sammy turned back to give her a quick kiss before returning to his closet to pull out some skinny joggers and a slightly oversized hoodie. “Normal casual? Sound good to you?” He asked the girl as he turned back to her and  began pulling his pants on. “Although, sexy and slutty sounds tempting.” He teased.

KITTY

Kitty nods. "Normal casual works."  She finally gets up from the bed and moves over to the bag of clothes, grazing the back of Sammy's jeans  lightly with her fingers as she walks past. The bag is more like a heaped pile of her random belongings at this point -- and one of Dude's toy which the pup has deemed to now belong to her. She sort of just moves things around until she puts her hands on a skirt and a sweater, shrugging to herself that it would do. "The sexy and slutty isn't totally off the table." She winks as the towel drops to the ground and she starts to get herself changed.

SAMMY

Sammy grinned at her touch and watched as she leaned over to dig through her bag. He tossed his hoodie on and sat at the edge of the bed. “Unfortunately I don’t have a pair of booty shorts that go with this hoodie. He teased with a chuckle. “You know... I can clear up a drawer for you to put your stuff in while you’re here if you want... just so you don’t have to have it all in the bag.” He offered

KITTY

"That's so disappointing." She jokes, turning to face Sammy with a smirk. "It's okay." Kitty shrugs at the suggestion of the draw. "I'm sort of a pro at living out of bags at this point, and even if I wasn't I'm moving soon so it's not like i'll spend a lot of time here." She smiled thankfully at him. "That's just creating way more work for yourself." She slides the sweater in over her head and flicks her hair so it's sitting on the outside. "Besides, where is Dude going to take all the toys he wants to give me when I'm not around if this bag is gone?" She leans over picking up a small soft toy and throwing it at Sammy. "I just need to dry my hair, and make myself even hotter than I already am." Kitty muses, kissing Sammy's cheek quickly as she moved past him and into the bathroom.

SAMMY

Sammy shrugged. “I don’t mind the work.” He told her. Even if she said no, he still planned on clearing some space for her, for the short time being. He chuckled at the girl as he dodges the toy. “That’s impossible. You’re the hottest already.” He grinned .

KITTY

later that night 

Kitty stumbled back into Sammy’s apartment, reaching out to grab his shoulder to steady herself as she took off her shoes. Finally.  “I’m hungry. “ She mumbled, not really thinking about what she was saying. Somewhere between the wine and tequila, Kitty had lost track of her words. The alcohol not only warmed her body enough to forget about the fact that it was freezing outside and she probably didn’t have enough clothes on, but also helped her forget about the paparazzi and fans wanting to climb up on her boyfriend. She had clung to the tall brunette all night, not caring who was around to see and paying zero attention to anyone else trying to steal away Sammy. “Duuuudeee.” She calls out to the puppy, grinning when he emerged from the bedroom. “Hey!” She picks up the growing pup into her arms and pats his head before looking back up at Sammy. “I feel bad we left him and brought him nothing back... You should see if they uber dog treats. Or puppy wine.”

SAMMY

Sammy stumbled in behind her with a smile. “I’ll order the ‘Za!” He yelled across the room as he booked it to the kitchen to look for the number of the 24hour pizza place. He peeked out of the kitchen and chuckled “I think that’s possible?” He asked confused, disappearing back into the kitchen and emerging with the paper with the phone number, his phone in the other hand, dialing.

KITTY

"You know there are apps for that, right?" Kitty smirks, letting Dude down from her arms and tugging at her boyfriend's shirt so he would follow her to the living room. "You know, I kinda like New York." She muses, sitting down on the couch and folding her legs off to the side of her. "Because it's where I met you." Kitty reaches out for Sammy to sit next to her, not bothered by how cliche the words that just came out of her mouth were. "My life would sort of suck without you." She furrowed her eyebrows for a second. "Well that's not entirely true, but, like, it wouldn't be the same. And I wouldn't be getting pizza soon.  Which is a massive bonus." She laughs happily, pressing  kiss to Sammy's cheek.

SAMMY

“Uh, yeah but this is the best pizza.” He replied as he followed her to the couch, still on the phone. He waited for them to answer and smiled at the girl making the gushy comments. “I love you.” He whispered before the person on the other line answered. “Uh, yeah, can I get a..... meat lovers with extra cheese... large. And umm... cheese sticks with marinara. Ooh also you guys have spaghetti? Mhm. Yeah an order of that...” he proceeded and gave them the address. After hanging up he turned his attention back to Kitty and rushed his lips to the exposed skin on her neck. “Pizza will be here in 25 minutes.” He whispered.

KITTY

"You got spaghetti? Who orders spaghetti with pizza, you weirdo." Kitty chuckles, grinning at the feeling of electricity spreading around the spot on her neck with the impact of his lips. "I love you so much." She murmurs and turns her body slightly to face Sammy on the couch. "Thank you for coming out tonight." Her fingers trace shapes idly on his thighs, and she can't stop herself from smiling tonight. "But we should just stay here for the rest of our lives... in this apartment. We're cooler than everyone else anyway."

SAMMY

Sammy frowned. “I like spaghetti.” He pecked her lips and smiled again. He pulled her closer, bringing her on his lap. “Thank you for being awesome.” He chuckled. “We should move in together, in LA. It would be so cool. I would get to see you every single day... I would love that.” He sighed and leaned in for another kiss.

KITTY

"Like... living together together." Kitty says the words out loud, nodding as she thought it through for all of about a second.  She wraps her arms around his shoulders. "Are you serious?"  She asks, a smile lighting her lips. "Because I'll totally live with you. It means I get to see you everyday, and I reeally like seeing you. Like... everything is better when I see you. So." She shrugs. "We should live together."

SAMMY

“Together, together.” He nodded “it’ll be you and me and Dude and we can even get an apartment with two rooms so Marley can come visit or whoever... it’ll be so great.” He mused with a big cheesy smile. Just the thought of living with the woman he loved made him so happy. “I wanna be with you forever and ever.”

KITTY

"It has to have two rooms." She says adamantly. "Because I love you, like... more than I love coffee, and pizza, and tmz, and trashy reality television combined. But I like Marley more." She teases, rubbing her nose lightly against his. "And I can't be anywhere without a bed for her." Kitty grins at his next words -- it was probably the alcohol (it was definitely the alcohol), but right now planning forever with this man didn't seem like the scariest thing in the world. In fact not spending forever with him scared her a lot more. "Forever's a really long time, babe. You don't think you'll get bored?"

SAMMY

Sammy nodded along with what Kitty said “Of course.” He agreed with her. And he didn’t mind it one bit. He loved that Kitty had someone who was there for her besides himself. He almost envied their friendship but in the best way. He leaned into her and kisses her again. “Me? Get bored of you? I could never ever ever. You’re everything.”

KITTY

Kitty leans into his kiss like it was the easiest thing her lips have ever done, not able to stop herself from giggling softly against them. All she wanted to do was be close to Sammy right now, she wanted to kiss him and be in his arms and never leave.  Maybe it was too soon to move in, and maybe in the morning she'd get cold feet, but right now she was being honest with herself. And honestly? There wasn't a night she went to bed and didn't wish he and Dude were with her. "You're perfect." She whispers, her fingers twirling into his perfectly messy hair. "And sexy, and smart, and sweet, and stupidly funny." She smiles, blissfully happy. "And we can spend forever together making everyone insanely jealous of us." She purses her lips together, suddenly remembering her non existent domestic skills. "But I can't cook, babe."

SAMMY

Sammy blushed at her comments. It was rare when Kitty complimented him like that and it was nice. He liked it a lot more than he’d care to admit. He leaned his head against hers bashfully, hiding the redness in his cheeks. “You’re too good to me.” He told her and pressed his lips to her neck once again. “Forever.” he repeated and nodded “that’s okay. We can order pizza and eat cereal and sandwiches and drink coffee.” He assures her.

KITTY

Kitty laughs, "I'm really not, baby." Even drunk, she knew Sammy probably deserved someone who was a lot more... like him. Everything about them was her opposite, down to and including the way they communicated. "But I'm adorable so it makes up for it." She says grinning and leaning in to press small kisses along his jaw line and down the crook of his neck. "Good. Because you're mine." She murmurs against his skin with a smile. "I'm keeping you. And I'll fight alllll the bitches." She jokes (kinda) as she pulls away from him. "Foooood." The blonde grumbles, remembering at the topic of food that once upon a time a million years ago they ordered pizza. "I'm hungry... And I want to fuck you. But super hungry."

SAMMY

“You are even if you won’t admit it.” He nuzzled into her face. “All of them?” He asked with a chuckle. He was about to answer her about the food when he heard the knock at his door. “It’s here!!!” He yelled out and pushed Kitty down on the couch, hovering over her briefly and pressing a kiss to her lips before getting up and pulling his wallet out of his pocket, stumbling just a tad as he reached the door. He paid the man at the door, leaving him a big tip and returned to kitty, balancing the boxes in his arms. He placed everything down on the coffee table and smiled at the girl. “Let’s feast.”

KITTY

Kitty mouth opened excitedly when she heard the knock on the door, "Finally!" She grins, a small shriek leaving her lips as she's pushed back onto the couch.  "Don't be long." She breathes against his lips before Sammy disappears to get the food. She finds herself looking up at the ceiling for a moment, listening with a smile to the small polite conversation Sammy was having with the delivery man. He was so nice. Too nice. How did someone so nice end up with her?  "You're my knight with shining pizza." Kitty muses, sitting up and watching the world wobble for a second as she did. The food smelt amazing and God, she needed it so badly -- all her stomach could feel right now were the tequila shots she'd taken before deciding to come home.  "Is pizza good for dogs?" She asks, opening up the box and pulling out a slice of pizza, glancing over at their puppy.

SAMMY

Sammy tilted his head to the side in thought about the pizza and looked over at the dog. “I think it might upset his tummy if we give him pizza.” Sammy said as he took a bite of the slice with a moan. He then put the slice down moving on to the container with the spaghetti and grabbed the plastic fork digging in.

KITTY

Kitty pouts and mouths to Dude that she's sorry. "We're bad dog parents... and not just because we called him dude." She slides down off the couch and onto the floor -- not entirely intentionally, but at least this way she was closer to the food. "Do you remember when we first got pizza? After you lured me into your apartment with the promise of a blanket fort." She laughs at the memory of the sad stack pile of pillows on the floor. "Also our first time." She leans her head back against the couch and looks to Sammy with a loving smile. "You have no idea how much I love you... also you have sauce on your face."

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head “Youre a better dog mom than me.” He pouted. “We should give dude a middle name.” He watches the girl slide down the couch on to the floor with a smile and nods. “It was the best I could do. I think it was pretty good.” He said confidently with a cheesy grin. Sammy leans down and kisses the girl and then rubs his face on hers, smearing the sauce on her face too. “I love you more. Now you have sauce on your face.”

KITTY

"Well obviously. You're a dog dad." She teases, raising an eyebrow at Sammy. "We should totally give him a middle name!" Kitty says probably over-enthusiastically. "It has to be something strong. Just incase he becomes doggy president or something and we need the other dogs to take him seriously." The girl was slightly over protective of Dude, but she really never imagined shed love a dog so damm much. "Oh my God." She laughs loudly, scrunching her nose and pulling on Sammy's shirt to pull him back down to her lips. "You're very annoying." She chuckles, leaning up to nibble on his lower lip lightly.

#para: sammy #para: like me better #sammy #//again i'm the worst and was meant to post this 5eva ago