#i cant even explain it. its just so good.

[charlottan]

What are your best book recommendations? Fiction and nonfiction both welcome

THANKS FOR ASKING 😁!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue what sort of reader you are so here are just a few of my favorites

first off i simply Must tell you about billy summers by stephen king. its a thriller about an assassin whose last job is a setup. classic premise. but hes also a writer and has War Trauma 😲 i read this book faster than anything in recent memory or maybe ever at all- like half of its ~600 pages in a week which is an INSANE pace for me. cannot recommend this enough on the offchance that its your thing even nearly as much as it was mine. it feels weird calling it my favorite stephen king over Everything Else ive read from him but but it kind of earned the title i guess LOL

then i need need need to recommend house of leaves. not much to say about this one its just really good especially towards the end, and not just because thats when the Gimmick of the fucked up text gets more intense lol

then of course slaughterhouse five by kurt vonnegut<3 or breakfast of champions or sirens of titan!!! you have so many good vonneguts to choose from you can hardly go wrong (just dont start with player piano)

then a book thats kinda weird but Really Interesting is dhalgren. by Samuel R. Delaney. its a speculative fiction sci fi from 1975 that touches on topics of race, sexuality, and gender, in an Evil City where some mysterious apocalypse happened (it is never explained What Happened) and a bisexual half native american man called Kidd must have as much sex as possible. its really really cool. plus the last chapter has fucked up text kinda like house of leaves lol

another great book is hitchhikers guide to the galaxy! again not much to say, this is just a classic for a reason

then theres piranesi by susanna clarke!! its about a House (castle) with many many rooms that one mentally ill Special Boy must uncover the Secrets of. really dreamy sort of book i wish i could smoke weed with Piranesi

another book i love is the name of the wind! fantasy book by patrick rothfuss about a boy who loses his whole acting troupe family and decides to pursue magic. its a liiiiittle bit male chauvinist and purple prosey in an annoying way but the magic system is really interesting and the characters are great

speaking of fantasy theres also discworld<3 just pick a book u cant go wrong

so there you go:) hope you find something you like among these, or even anywhere else, because reading is a beautiful adventure!!!

#asks #book talk

[volturiprincess]

Rain

Demetri Volturi x human mate reader

Summary: Reader gets overwhelmed with stress and he's there to support her Warnings: mentions of an anxiety attack, but mostly fluff A/N: Omg someone stop me😁, another one-shot post?? I had to write this because as I was taking my breaks I would work on this, its not proofread but the idea of Demetri calling the reader Spanish nicknames is a must have but throw rainy weather into the topic and muah *chefs kiss*. Enjoy and there will be a second A/N in the end. A little translation for my non-Spanish speakers: Mi cariño: dear or darling Mi vida: My life Princessa: princess Mi amado hermoso: My beautiful lover

(I cant believe it took me a while to write a Demetri one-shot)

I burst through our shared room in a panic state and I saw my lovely mate on his special chair. Before I could even react he was already wrapping his arms around me and cuddling me into his chest. I felt the build up tears I was holding back cascade down my cheeks. Demetri was rubbing my back in comfort and I heard him mumble

“Mi cariño, let it all out, I know you need this”

I sure did need this, all of today I was working on a project for a class and I ended up deleting about half of it and couldn't recover it at all. I always threw my computer out the window but instead I stared at the blank page that was staring back at me with what I could assume was mockery. I did manage to remember a good amount of what I had done and it's back to how it is, but I spent a while in a state of shock and denial.

Suddenly I felt myself shaking physically, my heart increase in palpitation and worst of all I could feel my breath becoming shorter. Demetri picked up right away that I was dealing with an anxiety attack and he guided me toward the balcony to the fresh air and the light rain. 

“Mi vida, look its raining, you love the rain, hey look at how pretty it looks”

I turn my head to be able to face the scenery instead of his very well built chest to see how soft and calming it is currently. I told Demetri before that I love the rain, it's my personal safe haven other than his arms. I felt my trembling and shaking diminished slightly, my heart rate started to slow down to a more reasonable way but my breathing was still a problem.

I felt him tilt my head up so I was looking at him and my breath for a minute hitch, he looked breathtaking right now. There were small droplets of rain running down his face which caused his hair to stick to his forehead and his eyes were full of adoration. He looked beautiful at that moment, well he always looks beautiful, I heard him one time arguing with Felix and he ended the conversation with “Dont hate me because im beautiful”. 

I smiled at the memory and soon enough he had a look of curiosity with a matching smile

“What's got you smiling like that princessa?”

“I was just think about your statement to end an argument with Felix, the don't hate because i'm beautiful”

His laughter filled the gloomy atmosphere that the rain created, his laugh sounding like music to my ears. One of his hands started to caress my cheek gently, his coldness immediately sending a small shiver down my spine but also somehow started to steady my breathing.

“Look at you princessa, your doing so good in breathing, such a good girl”

I blush at the praise which he never fails to miss, he knows what praises from him does to me, many thoughts come to mind but I push them away for now since I am still recovering from the earlier events.

“Do you want to talk about it/”

“My computer decided to throw me a whole 360 today”

“A whole 360? Im sorry cariño, but you need to explain that to me”

I giggled at his dumbfounded look, it's always fun to be able to still catch a vampire as old as him off guard with my modern language “Right forgot your like a million years old, I was working on a project today for one of my classes on my computer and I accidentally deleted like half of it but like I barely started it so it was no big deal because I remember what I had so far but it was just so frustrating you know”

He continued to caress my cheek as he nods along to my explanation 

“And it just so stressful in thinking I have so much to do still before this week ends and I feel like I have done what I needed to do but its not enough still and and—”

He placed his finger on my lips to silence me and I tiled my head to the side from curiosity, this is new. His signature smirk spread onto his face at my reaction

“Sorry love, but you started to spiral into chaos and as much as adore to hear you ramble, I started to feel stress myself from your stress”

I looked down in embarrassment but he tilted my head up once again 

“Hey don't be embarrassed cara, it's good for you to talk about what stresses you out, better out and in you know?”

“Your right metri”

“Now care to have a dance with me in the rain then?”

Whining at his request, even if that has secretly been a dream of mine to do “Demi you know i'm not even a good dancer, heck I don't even know how to”

“But that's the fun part princessa, I can teach you and we will be dancing in your favorite type of weather”

“Fair point”

As the rain intensified slightly, he guided my moves with such elegance that I almost felt like I myself am an expert to begin with. The rain at that moment was not a bother, my main focus was my casanova of a vampire that I call mi amado hermoso.

A/N: You know I don't know why I haven't added any Spanish nicknames to my writings, but I will in future (I feel like Demetri would just know all of the most romantic languages). I know I mentioned this in my Alec one-shot but I am working on a Caius one, its a work in progress indeed maybe in the end of this week I might have part one done, who knows?

#demetri volturi #demetri volturi x reader #our casanova of a vampire #the volturi #volturi #twilight saga #the volturi guard

[taikanyohou]

"Ah, it's fine. I actually benefitted from it. We took a bath together. Come on, hurry up."

MY PERSONAL WEATHERMAN (2023). Episode 5.

#my personal weatherman #asianlgbtqdramas #asiandramasource #asiandramanet #dailyasiandramas #mlmsource #jdramasource #* #faiza gifs #god this is segasaki in his ELEMENT like. this is what he was BORN to do. he is his most HAPPIEST here. #and i cant even TELL YOU how CONFUSED that must make yoh feel and YET STILL #he's taking to EVERY BIT of segasaki caring and loving and looking after him like he's CLINGING on to ittttttt. #for survival. GOD I CANT EXPLAIN IT. I CANT. its just SO GOOD.

[spearxwind]

sea of thieves rly was like. we are delaying the tenth season soo much its gonna be soooo good you guys <33 and dropping hints for more hunters call content and then the reveal drops and its just guilds. in the year of our lord 2023 (and one more mid world event i guess. coming a month after that but initially planned to be the one thing in season 11. and also the singleplayer mode coming in on december so two months into the "season")

#can we please just get more shit to do in the ocean. for the ocean game. #youd think this would be a no brainer but i guess not!!! please give the hunters call more shit just a few more fish im begging you #they keep adding random bullshit to the game that doesnt even have to do with pirates HELLO!!! ITS A PIRATE GAME #im still thinking about. the whole 'real pirates dont steal' and 'real pirates are honorable' etc etc and calling the reapers wrong #but objectively they are the most piratey faction everyone else is just a privateer #IM GOING ON A RANT SORRY I PROMMY I LOVE THE GAME VERY MUCH #I WAS JUST SO EXCITED FOR A POSSIBLE NEW SEA MONSTER RARRGGGHHHH #instead i have just been finding out that the games story is fucked and convoluted and for some reason pirates have some form of morals #like.. idk how to explain it but its literally 'we dont do this for gold we do it for glory and we have to be nice about it' #dont care about the gold <333 #SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!!!!!! I CANT FUCKING AFFORD THE SHIP PAINTS MY MAN!! WHY ARE THEY EIGHT MILLION DOUBLOONS!!! #sot #good god in heaven please grant us more ocean content soon before i go clinically insane and get put in jail amen

[rapidhighway]

i want to write fic soooo bad but i feel like i just can't present a narrative in a way that anyone will understand idk it always just feels so nonsensical, whatever i write. Even just writing a plan its like after a while all words just lose all meaning idk what this meanss idk how to do this

#like its jsut so hard to explain it like everything becomes word soup or something #like the longer i write the more it feels like the story is pointless even if im trying to write about something concrete #AUAUGH i just dont have a way with words i guess. but its also about the way of writing idk man idkk the story is there but at the same tim #its nothing #i cant explain it #ive wanted to write fic and comics and even flesh out ideas and after a while of trying it just feels so pointless and like its about #nothing even though im not even writing stream of consciousness like I KNOW the things i want to write are here but the story is just. #nothing #AUAHHHFDD HOW DO I EXPLAINNNN #this is a very vivid feeling in my brain whenever i enter this stage of writing anything #UGHHHHHFVBHVD ok bye #i mean i dont really have good ideas either but uhh i would like too :^/ #idk im just looking if anyone feels this way too or if they fight it somehow -_-

[larabar]

paying respects to the kid who got me through middle school o7

#guys im so sorry i had the worst pjo phase #it was nearly half of my middle school experience (other half was. another fandom) and man. i love this guy #cant even explain how much these books did for me #but anyway. very good show !!!!!! now i just gotta figure out this kids hair its so curly💥 #thisll probably be all the pjo stuff i post but just wanted to get it out there #doodles #pjo #percy jackson #should draw people more

[peaceandl0ve]

idk what it is about when the season finale of a show ends with a shot of a woman just ominously standing there but it HITS ME IN MY CORE EVERY TIME

#like these images evoke such strong emotions i cant even explain it #ITS JUST SO GOOD #succession #better call saul #shiv roy #kim wexler

[ouidamforeman]

related to prev post i just reblogged but as a certified Deranged Close ReaderTM of the good omens novel i sometimes remember some of the shit that's in it and feel insane, esp when i think about how often it does this weird thing where something is a Joke but at the same time deadly serious or revelatory or containing critical information or later revealed to be very serious in another part of the book. its like fridge horror but managing to be funny the whole time and used as a device in itself to convey information. ik this is very "just read more books" of me but I just like it and think it's very weird and rewards close reading in a way thats more fun than usual lol

#i dont even know how to explain this bc ive never seen it elsewhere in the same way so i cant articulate myself #like the level of everything being jokes and yet not deflecting any information because everything is jokes #i think i latched onto this hard bc its very close to how i naturally see the world lol #there are absolutely things in this book that most people have dismissed as jokes and i think that invalidates that like #im p sure the text is self aware of this and is intending for you to gain information from them lol #anyway i dont think im making any sense i just like my weird little comedy novel :) #good omens #book omens #go meta

[neuroticboyfriend]

dissociation go brrr

#hi my name is. mentally unstable #i feel happy in a sick way #even tho the reasons im happy are healthy #the actual emotion feels. too much. too much. like. #i cant explain it #its like when a cake is too sweet #like yes its food its good to eat and its yummy but its also too sweet #so you dont wanna eat too much of it but #like i cant just Turn Off my emotions ykno?? #-_- #julian rants #vent

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

i know im not breaking new ground for saying legend of korra is disappointing but so much of the series is genuinely off putting to me. the setting, the tone, how the narrative tortures korra it feels like

which is a shame because I love korra as a character (even if her writing isn't The best at times). but there are so many aspects of the show I don't like. fuck there's so many characters in the show I dont even like either

#says a lot how even when im not rewatching atla in its entirety i enjoy watching clips of it from time to time or analysis videos on whats #good about the show... #i have not touched TLOK since i watched the show finale when it aired #i cant stand mako. i dont even really like bolin much either #i feel like the biggest aspect of TLOK that holds it back is the fact that it wanted to be more 'mature' #ignoring the fact that the og series -was- quite mature. as in it knew when to take itself seriously! TLOK has a superficial idea of- #-maturity it feels like. like 'ohhh ohhhhh look we showed an airbender do killing isnt that cool!!" what the fuck EVER #I DONT CARE. i dont care when it feels like a slog to get thru the show and when u add things that mess w/ the allure - #- of the og show. I dont WANT to know how the first avatar came to be or why the spirit world exists #THE MYSTIQUE WAS WHAT MADE IT SO APPEALING #THE EXISTENCE OF BENDING WAS EXPLAINED BY PEOPLE OBSERVING NATURE AND IMITATING IT. OR BEING TAUGHT SPECIFIC ANIMALS #NOT BECAUSE OOHH LOOK THE LION TURTLES GAVE IT TO PPL TO TRAVERSE THE SPIRIT WILDS.... lame!! LAME!! #im angrier about this than i need to be lmao #the whole lion turtle thing just sounds like the show runners felt insecure about the finale of the OG series lol

[pradaxstyles]

im a sucker for an orchestral piece where you can feel the desperation, the sadness, the longing. where it eats you up in a way thats indescribable. I want to fell every single emotion in a piece, I want it to give me goosebumps, make me understand what it's trying to convey. like yes tell me what you're trying to say with just beautiful sounds, I want it all

#I was in orchestra for seven (7) years and yall #I am a SUCKER for a good orchestral piece/classical music #I can write an entire essay on some of my faves #your honor this is why #I needed to ramble #its so deep in who I am I just CANT even begin to explain it

[strwbrymlkshake]

who up praying for downfalls 🤨

#mine #yandere #yancore #yandere vent #oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy #its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking #the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with #my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in #a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear #of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right #youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person #this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for #their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are. #i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think #idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight #its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU #but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway #if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test #die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said #this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten #with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like #we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it. #because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!! #like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business #clearly they did not grow up italian 💀 #clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything #anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist #advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours #and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves. #if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc

[taikanyohou]

“I guess, a guitar? But I can only play just a bit of it.” WHY YOU ... Y ME? (2022) - Episode 5.

#why you ... y me? #shogun x maitoh #asianlgbtqdramas #asiandramasource #* #faiza gifs #NO NO NO LAST 2 GIFS ABSOLUTELY NO. #i remember watching ipondtv's reaction to this and they just SCREAMED when maitoh bumped his head on shogun's chest LIKE. #I CANT EXPLAIN IT there's just SOMETHINNGGGG about their chemistry man. #LIKE. UGH. so maitoh's TRYNA convince shogun but at the same time at this point maitoh is crushing SO FUCKING HARD on shogun #and so he just does the absolute CUTEST stuff to just. try and get his attention and UGHHHHHHHH YEAH. YEAH. listen SHOGUN WAS SO SMITTEN #in that 2nd to last gif GOOD GOD theyre just so! when its just them two NOTHING else like. even MATTERS their focus just NARROWS down #to one another and they literally FORGET the outside world around them. #anyway i cant explain it its just. if you watch the show you'll FEEL it straight away and you'll get what i mean. ITS LITERALLY why #I NEEEEEEEEEEED these two in another show again as the main couple THEY'VE JUST GOT. SO MUCH POTENTIAL man.

[katiefratie]

Absolutely crying listening to Omar on Let's Learn about dnd talking about andhera discovering their aceness at the bloom and like having that moment when it hits that this isn't you you can't do that thing that everyone else is doing and experiencing its just man, it's so real,

#dimension 20 #a court of fey and flowers #its just waaahhhhh #thats not even the right but its close #but like listening to other ace ppl talk about aceness is so fucking good #i cant explain how immediately tears were pricking my eyes #its just its really nice

[swaggy-transfag]

Thought of making a post abt my struggles with communicating and getting my thoughts out in words. But then i was struggling too much abt how to word it so it made sense, so i gave up

#it can be so so tiring to try to squish my thoughts into words sometimes #it just doesnt feel natural and it never represents them good enough #everyday i wish for somekind of mindreading so others could just get what i was thinking #but instead i have to struggle everyday to not even do my thoughts justice #its so frustrating to just sit and try to get something out #often my mind just blanks and i cant grasp any words #its so humiliating bc ppl just assume im kinda dumb or stmh and i cant even prove them wrong cuz i cant translate my thoughts properly #i wanna tell ppl abt my struggles so they can understand #and also so they dont make fun of me anymore for it #but then i have to get the courage and also be able to explain it properly #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #its so weird i can usually get my point across (like rn) but it doesnt really feel like my words #talking for me mostly feels like clipping out a newspaper and then assemble all the usefull words k could find into what i want #i really really wanna try to unmask more #and just own the fact that im actually disabled #okay now im just rambling i think #point is im frustrated and sad that mindreading isnt possible

[doebt]

but at the same time I'm really pleased w where im at in a way. i just dont feel very fulfilled... But it is fulfilling that i'm doing ok objectively. Like im not broke and i have a home and friends and a job even and a job that actually pays OK. Like above min wage. which is 7.25 here btw. But still. but its like i cant do hardly any of the things i love or care about

#I just dont have the time or energy #but as a kid i always thought i would crash and burn as an adult Or like i wouldnt even get that far #but if i did i would be homeless or like my parents or something #they made it look impossible #Like i had no idea it could be ok #it isnt great but its OK. and thats more than i expected #so thats good #And i really am grateful...i even have a perfect cat #my OWN perfect cat #But like its still hard...I cant even explain all the nuances