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#i cant even imagine how it would be for someone a few years earlier or from a slightly more consetvative background
cumulo-stratus · 6 months
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hiii !! recently ran into your blog and i love ur posts sm. i have this silly little thing in my mind i was hoping you could maybe write it?
Spencer (thinking mostly season 2, mostly cuz i love his glasses look) and M!Reader have been dating for a while already, like a few months to a year, and Spencer still gets flustered by him. He still gets all nervous when reader is around him, and when he kisses him. Imagine reader giving Spencer a small kiss on the cheek or smth and he becomes a blushing mess, and reader teases him about it which just causes him to become more flustered over it.
you don't have to write that specifically, just anything with Spencer getting easily flustered by reader would be really cute ^^
Smart cookie
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(GIF NOT MINE)
request: yes/no
flustered!spencer reid x Tattooed!male!reader
Description: reader asks for readers help with a new tattoo he wants, and when reader calls Spencer a smart cookie Spencer gets flustered, and reader can't help himself
CW: possible swearing, needles (lemme know if theres anything else)
A/N: thanks for the support love <3 and ofc course ma biche! im actually in love with this idea of like cute little baby spencer being all flustered by reader. i think ill add some of my own stuff bc u did give artistic liberty but i hope you enjoy it!
!!!!SORRY ABT THE TERRIBLE FLIRTING!!!!
Y/N L/N and Spencer reid have been dating for 9 months, 2 days, and 3 hours (and counting according to spencer), but he still had a tendency to get adorably flustered when Y/N would flirt with him, and especially if he called him smart cookie. Which y/n didnt quiet understand since he’d been calling his boyfriend smart cookie since practically day one of their relationship. But y/n found it adorably hilarious so it was okay.
one instance of this adorable awkwardness, was the day y/n decided to ask spencer for help with a new tattoo he wanted, something special for the two of them. Spencer had highly advised against it stating
“31% of men and 24% of women regret getting tattoos of someones name. And if even I plan on being with you for long time that may not happen angel.”
“ugh, your too sweet for me darling. But the world doesn’t deserve a hottie like you anyways” y/n replied with a wink as spencer blushed profusely
“and by the way, you cant change my mind on this spencer, im getting that tattoo. And you’ve seen how stubborn i can be, remember The Book Incident? ya thats what i thought” y/n smirked as spencer grimaced remembering the fateful incident earlier that year.
“okay my love, i wont object to you getting the tattoo, but it has to be something good, and i wanna help with it.” spencer finally relented.
this caught y/n of guard, as he had just been planning a heart with with their initials in the center. nothing special, but when y/n told spencer of this plan, he was incredulous.
“do you not know me y/n/n, thats to simple, and not romantic enough! and its something morgan would get.”
after Y/n was done laughing at the morgan comment and had regained his composure they continued their arguing over what the tattoo should be.
“its gonna be on my body!”
“the tattoo is about you and me!”
but after much bickering they came to a consensus that a simple latin phrase would be nice. Simple, yet elegant and romantic. Some for y/n, some for Spencer. now the hard part was deciding which latin phrase from spencers extensive encyclopedia of knowledge in his head.
After much discussion they decided on the phrase “Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur” spencer had translated for y/n when he asked what it meant but he already liked the sound of it without the meaning. But when spencer told him he liked it even more, he stated “we choose to love, we do not choose to cease loving.” And you were in love.
“thats it- thats the one!” y/n exclaimed with excitement. “thanks for the help smart cookie” you added with a smile and a wink. As always spencer flushed bright red when his boyfriend called him the pet name. As y/n studied his boyfriend in his flustered state, he couldnt help but notice how cute he was. His reddened cheeks and small smile as he looked away. Y/n couldnt help but get that enamored feeling of intense love and adoration that often came with staring candidly at his beautiful, beautiful boyfriend. In his thoughtful state he didnt even realize that spencer had noticed the intense gaze of his lover.
“why are you looking at me like that?” spencer questioned with a shy smile.
“cus your just too cute not too! and you deserve it” y/n responded with a sly smile. spencer once again flushed red at the flirtatious comments.
“what? Oh c'mere hot stuff I wanna give ya a kiss" y/n pulled his boyfriend into his lap and put his hands on either side of the man's face. "ugh! Your so cu-" The rest of the man's sentence was cut off by him kissing his boyfriend. Very aggressively Spencer would add, but he was to busy being kissed. Finally y/n let go of his lips and they both sucked in a large breath. But before Spencer could get word out y/n started peppering his face with kisses, using them to punctuate his words
"You. Are. A. Smart. Cookie."
If it was even possible Spencer's ears grew redder. "Thank you, y/n." Spencer responded with a small smile playing at his lips. "of course love" y/n said as he gave a bigger sweeter smile this time before leaning in for a more loving and passionate kiss. And as they kissed all that fun through y/ns mind, was Spencer.
THE END
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gayspock · 10 months
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goodness gracious
okay so set the scene im eating fruit and yoggy and granola with an iced coffee. just so youre aware. its 9am. i had a BIGGGG LIE IN bc i dont have work today (bank holiday) so smile
although in truth i wanted to go for my run & watch it as is tradition but it turns on the gym IS closed today booooo
tom will honestly suck the bigest dick in the room its so true
kendall being like "stewy dont hide from me" is seriously like half this website for the past few years. come out stewy. come out to see us. come on? kiss?
ROMAN HAVING AN ABSOLUTE MENTY B and just going to rot at his mams. so real for that. im sorry his MUMS. (booo)
"new jess" YOU SICK FUCK
ishould be saying more on this but im kinda jsut watching i know
do you know whats great. no matter who "comesout on top". we will always get a she-eo ceo <3
cunt i
cunt is
as
cunt does
fantastic....
its. horrfying to watch this bc i know shiv does not come out on top. of course she fucking doesnt. this isnt how it ends.
"i wanna fuck her a little bit" panning over to those sad wet bloodhound eyes of tom's
HELP
LUKAS THE FUNNIEST SEGUE
LUKAS SERIOUSLY WILL FUCK YOU BOTH I THINK . IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
"we're going to be okay, greg" good heavens
GREG OPENING GOOGLE TRANSLARTE IS SO FUNNY
romans little grunt about that comment on his nuts. fantastic
something fucking tragic as well about tom being chosen bc lukas doesnt want a partnership, he doesnt want ideas, and shivs too full of them when
"he said them to me first" SO. BIG BROTHER.
HE DOESNT WANT IT. ROME NOT WANTING IT. so. real..........
kendall just diving into the water after going back to the pursuit kendall floating on the water kendall drowning in the water with a dead kid ken almost killing himself in the FUCKING WATER
THEIRI MPRESSIONS OF HIM AWWW
HES NOT GOING TO BE CEO I KNOW HE WONT BE BUT GOD FOR A SECOND HERE YOU COULD IMAGINE IT AS A GOOD THING EVEN WHEN IF HE UCKIN DID ITD BE HORRIBLE
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ITS HORRIBLE
oh god this scene is fucking . help. eyes watering emoji. sniffling sound.
PETER DONT BE SO BITCHY
OF COURSEEEE WILLA WANTS THE COW PRINT COUCH. SO REAL
SHUT UP WHY ARE THEY .. theres so many nice uufcking. i feel ill. i do feel ill . STOP IT.
DONT CUT TO FUCKING GREG RIGHT NOW THATS INSANE
tom you absolute bitch
theres something about toms timbre when he feigns surpris-
"its you" the fucking venom in her voice
IM REEEEELINGGGGGGG
EXACTLY. HE WENT FOR THE EMPTY SUIT SHIV. AND THATS THE MOST TWISTED PART OF IT. SHIV WOULD ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SEEN AS THE EMPTY SUIT AS A WOMAN BU-
OHHH M GOD HER BITCH WALK COME ON FUCKING
THE MUSIC
GOOD HEAVENS
IM HAVING GOOSE BUMPS
YOU ARE NOT CUTTING FROM SHIVS FUCKING DRAMATIC LITTLE MOMENT TO FUCKING TOMGREG IN THE BATHROOM
YOU FUCKING PRICK-
HIT
GIRLS . ladies . HEY
FIGT
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGH
PUNCH HIM IN THE CUNT
CAROLINE SNAKINGGGGGG HISS GIRL HISS FOR ME
hi stewyyyyy giggle
cutting to shiv making eyhes at this exchange happening in front of her like uh huhhorrific
ROMAN
imliterally soryr fuck roman i know so earlier it was like fuck roman but ugh yeah fine hes
whatEVER
do any other LOSERS RELATER DO ANY OTHER LOSERS WHO KNEW THEY NEVER HAD A CHANCE RELATE ANY OTHER LOSERS RELATE, DOES THE "IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU" BURN MORE THAN THE LOSS ITSELF MAYBE anyway
we need compilations of shiv power walking
the fucking parallels of fucking
OF WHEN LOGAN WAS FUCKING PRESSURRING THEM ALL IN THAT ROOM AND NOW KEN DOING IT NOW YOU BETTER BE SMELLNG YOUR ARMPIT ROMULUS VS THATS FUCKING RIGHT
hi shiv
shiv
I DONT THINK YOU WOULD BE GOOD AT TH
for fucks sake s
shiv get his ass
thats so
THIS FUCKING SHIT LIKE I MIGHT DIE KENDALL HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT AS THE PROBLEM KENDALL- HE KILLED SOMEONE GOOD HEAVENS
THATS NOT AN ISSUE IS ANYONE CRAZY
what is worse. killing a kid or lying about killing a kid
SHIV JUST BEING LIKE No................. I LVOE YOU B UT I CANT SOTMACH YOU IS ANYONE FUCKING
THEM HEARING THIS ALL
IM THE ELDEST BOY
IS ANYONE
YOURE NOT
CONNOR IS
holy shit
holy shit
YOU FUCKING C
GHOLY SHIT
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
GUYS
GUYS CAN YOU ALL BE SERIOUS
THIS IS ALWAYS HOW IT WAS GOING TO FUCKING END YOU FUCKING
I FEEL SICK IN THE HEAD
KENDALL
KENDALL WE NEED TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS NOW
KENDALL
ME WHEN I BURN EVERYTHING ME WHEN I GIVE EVERY PIECE OF MYSELF TO MY BIRTHRIGHT WHEN IM NOT EVEN GOOOD AT IT AND MY SISTER SAYS SO OOOPSIES
WE'RE NOTHINGGGGGGGGGG
i love it when little men get angry. like ahhh! x3 so ferocious. awww. yap yap yap
EVERYONE WHO JUST FUCKING HEARD AL OF THAT IN THE FUCKING OTHER ROOM. KEN. ITS DONE.
ken dont fucking kill uyourself now
ken
we need to be normal right now
TOM ON TOP IS PERHAPS THE MOST NANUSEATIGNG. MY GOD.....
WHY ARE WE GETTING KRANK KONTENT
WHERES KAROLINA. HEAVENS.
GREG BARELY GETTING A FUCKING HANDSHAKE
THEYRE DEAD. KRANK ARE DEAD. OLD CUNTS.
you fucked it man you fucked it man you fucking piece of shit help-H WHY DID YOU JUST FUCKING STIKC TH
OH I FEEL A LITTLE UNWELL . CAN YOU TWO CUT IT OUT FOR 10 FUCKING SECONDS.
OH GOD ITS ENDING NOW ISNT IT
OH GOD
this shit reeks
kendall
KENDALL
GET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING WATER KENDALL
DONT KENDALL YOURSELF YOURE SO SEXY
does anyone else feel fucking unwell i think im gonna sob
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jinny-and-tonic · 2 years
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I have just one friend left to tell and I'm meeting him on Monday. I didn't realize how exhausting this part would be. Idk when I'll tell my family. Not for a few months at least.
one good thing to come of all of this is realizing that i need to step up my friend game. i always considered myself a good friend but im now realizing im not as good of a friend as i can be. the way my friend just dropped everything and insisted on me and mango coming over was the best gesture i could have asked for during this time. and i was flooded with guilt bc it had been weeks since we last texted and yet she was there for me. then i think back and wonder if ive ever been there for her like she has been for me. and the more i think about it, it's been a while since she's come to me for support which makes me feel horrible. i want her to know that i will be a better friend and im here for her for anything! same with my other friends. theyve been texting me and being sweet as well. even if i was in a relationship, i should have been investing in my friends. but i see that i haven't been making adequate deposits but i will now.
I'm back home and it's weird. I haven't seen him yet but i feel like he's now trying to avoid me which I guess is good...? idk...
I made chicken tikka masala earlier (having indian food last night definitely made me crave more!) and he really likes this dish too. and so i stood in the kitchen for a long time just wondering if i should just cook a small amount for me or cook a large batch as usual. i made a small batch. and then i felt really bad. so then i made a large batch. then i wondered if he would even eat it. or if he might feel that he needs permission to eat it?? but it feels so :/ to be like oh i made this and you can have some... it feels weird after how many years of what's mine is yours and also with something like food?? but i guess that's where we are now. i got so stuck in my head i didn't even eat any when it was done. i just left it on the stove so he can eat it if he wants. i honestly don't know what to do.
my appetite that seemed to have disappeared is now back with vengeance. i want to eat e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. i miss not feeling hunger bc now i cant stop thinking about shoving my face with pizza and burgers and ice cream. i need to stay strong though. im already unhappy with how i look and i imagine if i give into all these cravings, i'll end up just feeling worse about myself. i need to think about future jinny. ahhh future jinny. can't wait to be her.
sunburns are intense. it's like a constant dull pain and i had the worst time sleeping last night. plus idk i think it's just making me feel extra blah which i know is hard to tell from all the blahness ive been feeling lately haha.
we haven't talked since saturday. so it's been 6 day since the breakup. and 5 days since we've talked. i think that's the longest we've gone without talking in several years. im trying to think back on our last big fight from yearsssss ago but even with those fights, we'd never went this long without talking.
the part i keep coming back to is how he doesn't even want to try to fix it. like i can understand if we've been fighting and trying, and you feel like one last try isn't going to change anything. i can understand something like that. but to come out of left field... with all these grievances that i had no idea about bc you never told me... and then refuse to even try to amend things. like even if you dont want to... can't you try for your partner's sake? someone who you love/loved, and someone who obviously loves you bc they're absolutely devastated and crying just asking for a chance to fix it. how can someone that gave you 13 years not even be worth a chance to fix something. this is the point i keep coming back to. how is what we had not even worth trying to fix. it's hard not to feel worthless. my friend talked me up this past few days and i want to believe her but feelings are hard to change. and i guess being back here isn't helping me at all... or idk maybe it is bc when im here i go through all the feels which is what i should be doing. feel everything to process it..
and currently... i feel like shit. i feel worthless and useless. a waste of space.
so i will focus on something positive. my friend and i started the new show candy on hulu and we've been keeping up and watching one episode a night together. so tonight we'll watch the fourth episode at the same time. that is something i am looking forward to :).
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sajaffery · 6 months
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unblock...2...
thank you gobstikelsa1970..although i blame you for having to break one of my earlier rules. this was supposed to be all part of the same post. which started yesterday and was supposed to continue and continue until tumblr officially decided to kick me off their website altogether for being a nuisance and a show off at which point i would be forced to roam the face of this earth with words pouring out of my fingers into the thankless earth. sorry. i kind of got ahead of myself there. but ive decided to continue this on a seperate post, titled the same with a few sad dots and a 2 at the end. perhaps my two followers wont hate me so much anymore, and they might even ask other people to follow me. although they seem to only be interested in large naked men with bulging muscles. i hope thats not why they added me for i can only ever be a large naked man with a bulging stomach. they might be into that, after a few beers, maybe a couple of tequila shots and five hundred years of solitude. another cliched literary refernce. see earlier post for reference and explanation for terrible grammer and spelling. fuck dead white old men! were they old? i cant remember. and I cant go back and check either. you certainly can. but you wont. because youve got better things to do, like continue reading this post. emoticon alert. okay this is starting to get repetitive. I’m making the same jokes as yesterday. its probably a good thing i cant go back and reread my posts because then i definietely would be cracking the same jokes again and again. or i might be able to build on them and improve them. isnt that what all writers do? Bukowski certainly does. I’ve read three books by him and countless short stories and it seems to be the same books over and over again with very similar characters, especially women. doing the same things over and over again and him just finding us better ways to tell us about it. so I guess I can do that. but I cant rered what I wrote yesterday so I cant. and I’m not great. by any stretch if the imagination. but then neither was Bukowski. another reason why my wife cant read this, she’d pick up the laptop and smash it over my head for saying that.                          (FORCED DELETION)
I FUCKING HATE DONALD TRUMP. compared to him, i’m jesus christ. i.e. impossible to hate. everyone loves jesus, even the people who hate bible bashers because the man just talked about love. and he had cool hair. the poor guy was even ready to marry a prossi. how fucking awesome can you get. my mum called me jesus the other day because she was yelling at me and i just kept smiling at her. thats how amazing the man was. although it does kind of help the argument that he might have been deluded. even mad. huh. i didnt think of it like that. not a very nice thing for my mum to have said. hmmm. i’m blanking for a bit. oh new rule! i have to tell you, i say you even though i know nobody is reading this, and if someone is…cringe!!! but yes i have to tell you why i stopped writing yesterday because i wrote down i have to go to work but thats not good enough as an excuse because i’m actually at work as i write this. my work involves sitting behind a counter with a laptop infront of me and ignoring every customer who walks in as much as i can. yes i’m a till jocky and not the cool kind like randall from clerks, but more the sad kind like Dante because he hates being there but has nowhere fucking else to go. my parents own this place. hence my dad being a rich capitalist and my being a fake socialist. and ive been stuck here for the last six years now and i reconize 90% of the people who walk into this place and i want to punch atleast 90% of those 90%. I cant punch the rest of the 10% because theyre too fucking old. not because I like them. wow I hate a lot of people. no. no. this is just a symptom me hating myself again. it has to be I’m starting to come out like a monster in this post, my two hypersexualised followers are going to be defollowing me any second. can you find out if someone has defollowed you? do you get a little notification for that? like you do when someone is following you. such and such person is no longer following you. LOSER! me. not them. i’m the dumpee remember, not the dumper. maybe this is me. maybe this is why i’m writing this, because i cant possibly hope to tell anyone any of these things. not face to face anyway. who would want to listen? God knows I wouldn’t. except maybe if i was getting paid for it. even then. clearly ive gone through medical school or at least graduate school to be sitting there and getting paid to listen to this crap and eventually i’d reach a point where i’d want to get this person out of my room, out of my face out of my life, just as far away from me as possible, wow. i want to stop writing this now. i suddenly dont feel great. and i feel tired 
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uniformbravo · 2 years
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clown college simulator (carry on liveblog 4)
im the clown welcome to my humble abode
---
[Simon] He has long hair for a bloke. When he plays football, it falls in his eyes and on his cheeks. But he slicks it straight back after a shower, so he always looks like a gangster first thing in the morning--or a black-and-white movie vampire, with that widow's peak of his.
wakes up and IMMEDIATELY starts going into detail about baz's physical appearance
I've wondered whether Baz gets away with being a vampire by looking so much like one. Like, it would be too much to call him out for it--a little too on the nose.
the perfect disguise
(Baz has a long thin nose. The kind that starts too high on someone's head and practically gets in the way of their eyebrows. Sometimes when I'm looking at him, I want to reach out and yank it down half an inch. Not that it would work.)
AGAIN i swear to god. hes LITERALLY out here like "flicked a booger out the window today. just like baz's boogers. they're usually yellow, but sometimes green
(His nose is also a little bent towards the bottom--I did that.)
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And, no matter what, we're still enemies, right? He still wants to kill me?
simon how much of ur rivalry with baz is predicated on whether he actively wants to murder u
like give me a percentage
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"Starting now," he says, pointing at the floor. "We're starting this now. It's our first priority." He heads for the door.
I want to argue. "What--?"
Baz stops, huffs, then turns back to me.
"What about everything else?" I ask.
"What everything else?" he says. "Lessons? We can still go to our lessons."
🫵 NERD
"No," I growl. "You know what everything else." I think of the last seven years of my life. Of every empty threat he's made--and every full one. "You want me to work on this with you, but...you also want to push me down the stairs."
LOL who says he can't have both. best of both worlds. perfect day
"Fine. I promise not to push you down the stairs until we solve this."
BAZ
[...] "Truce," he says.
"Truce?"
"I'm fairly certain you know what 'truce' means, Snow. No aggression until we're through this."
"No aggression?"
He rolls his eyes. "No acts of aggression."
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"Swear it," I say. "With magic."
[...]
"Truce," Baz says, looking in my eyes.
"Truce," I say, sounding much less certain.
"Until we know the truth," he adds.
I nod.
Then he taps our joined hands. "An Englishman's word is his bond!"
I feel Baz's magic sink into my hand. Someone else's magic never feels like your own--like someone else's spit never tastes like your own.
GHFOGJFKG Y- UHUH??????? THATS THE ANALOGY WE'RE GOING WITH
[...] Baz's magic burns. Like heat rub. It hangs in the muscles of my hand.
baz's magic burns are we surprised. who amogus,
We've just taken an oath. I've never taken an oath before. Baz could still break it--he could still turn on me--but his hand would cramp up, and he'd lose his voice for a few weeks. Maybe that's part of his plan.
i cant make gif rn (i found that one earlier) but imagine that i took that gif and reversed it and crossed out "no" for funny joke. i promise
We're both staring at our joined hands. I can still feel his magic.
"We can talk about this after our lessons," Baz says. "Back here."
His grip loosens, and I yank my hand back. "Fine."
first base hold a hand Completed
-
Agatha still isn't sitting with us. I don't even see her this morning--I wonder if she's off somewhere with Baz. I should have added that to the truce: And also you have to leave my girlfriend alone.
LMFAO u shoulda done it but for her sake not urs
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I leave early for my Greek lesson because I feel like I've let Penny down--I can't take her side against the Mage. For what it's worth, I could never take his side against her, either.
🤔
(conflicting feelings babey)
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It's not like the time he tried to feed me to the chimera. That time, he asked me to meet him in the Wavering Wood. [...]
It was fucking beautiful when the chimera noticed Baz first, hiding in the trees, and went after him instead of me. I should have let the monster have a go at him. It would have served Baz right....
But U Didn't
Then there was the time when we were sixth years, and he left me a note in Agatha's handwriting, telling me to wait for her under the yew tree after dark. It was freezing, and of course she didn't show up, and I was stuck outside all night until the drawbridge was lowered the next morning. [...] I kept expecting something worse to show up. Why would Baz torture me with snow devils? [...] They're not even dark. But nothing else came, which meant Baz's evil plan fell apart--or that his evil plan was to freeze me only half to death on the night before a big exam.
U GOT PRANKED BRO LMFAO baz swore off of ever hurting u again so he started pulling fuckin schoolboy pranks AND U DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT....... can't wait for the story about baz's evil Kick Me sign he taped to simon's back in seventh year
Then, last year, he told me Miss Possibelf wanted to see me, and when I got to her office, he'd trapped a polecat in there. [...]
I retaliated by putting the polecat in his wardrobe, which wasn't much of a retaliation because we share a room.
i've been thinking this for a while but..... simon takes all the fucking Ls in this relationship doesn't he
i imagine their scoreboard looks something like this:
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I'm at our door now. Still trying to decide whether this is a trap. I decide it doesn't matter--because even if I knew for sure that it was a trap, I'd still go in.
if baz put an apple under a cardboard box propped up with a stick simon would break the sound barrier to get inside the second he knew it was there
When I open the door, Baz is wheeling an old-fashioned chalkboard in front of our beds.
on it, two columns, each titled "baz" and "simon" respectively,
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"Is this how you normally plot my downfall?"
HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING ASKS HUOOUH HFAUAHGOSDJFKDG
"Yes. With multicoloured pieces of chalk. Stop complaining."
ok well now i fucking have to
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He opens up his book bag and takes out a few apples and things wrapped in greaseproof paper. "Eat," he says, throwing one at me.
It's a bacon roll. He's also got a pot of tea.
"What's all this?" I say.
"Tea, obviously. I know you can't function unless you're stuffing yourself."
HE MADE HIM TEA
screams actually tbh he's not even fucking around he straight up KNOWS THIS SHIT ABOUT SIMON he was READY with the supplies god god this is so good hELP
I unwrap the roll and decide to take a bite. "Thanks."
HE EATS IT LMFAO 5 seconds ago he was like "what if this is a trap...." then immediately eats the food baz gives him without a second thought LIKE
"Don't thank me," he says. "It sounds wrong."
"Not as wrong as you bringing me bacon butties."
"Fine, you're welcome--when's Bunce getting here?"
their banter is so cute GOD.......... u know i love when theyre literally trying to strangle each other but this shit has me taking deep breaths rn i LOVE.............
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"Let's start with what we know," I say. That's where Penelope always starts.
"Right." Baz actually seems nervous. He's tapping the chalk against his trouser leg, leaving white smudges.
NERVOUS ABOUT HAVING SEMI-AMICABLE INTERACTIONS WITH SIMON,,,,,, WORKING TOGETHER ON SOMETHING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES,,,,,,,,,,,, NO PENNY TO ACT AS A BUFFER BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM it's just them up in their room alone Speaking Normally and he's NERVOUS
also it's a v simple thing but testament to how far gone i am for these two im losing it on the inside over simon taking note of baz's nerves Like................. "he seems nervous" i mean that's such a standard line in Any kind of fiction it's not Incredible to notice that someone's acting nervous but like. thinking of it in terms of their closeness.
like maybe his nerves aren't that obvious to the average person but because simon knows him so well and is familiar with all his usual mannerisms and tics something as small as tapping chalk against his leg is enough for simon to notice and go hm. He Seems Nervous
it makes me go insane U_______U
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[...] he tucks a piece behind his ear, then writes a date on the chalkboard:
12 August 2002.
I start to ask what happened that day, then I realize.
"You were only 5," I say. "Do you remember anything?"
He looks at me, then back at the board. "Some."
hrhgghnrgnghrnghgh........... he know hte age..,..,,, does he know,,, baz bday....... obviously he does,, sO SPILL IT
honestly from now on it's just safe to assume that anything that even HINTS at how much they know about each other makes me black out for a second alright yes good
also the fact that baz knows the exact date......................... uuuuuuuuuuuuu
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[Baz] I remember that there were trains, and I liked the green one.
baz percy or henry fan confirmed
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I can't tell you how many vampires came to the nursery that day. It seemed like dozens, but that can't be right, because I was the only child who was bitten.
👀 relevant for theories i'll talk abt later
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[Simon] I don't know how he can do this--talk about vampires without acknowledging that he is one. Pretending that I don't already know. That he doesn't know I already know.
It's Spite
-
Baz shrugs. "I don't think vampires normally attack magicians. My father says they're like bears."
They.
me at every moment reading this: They
(also once again: 👀)
-
"What else does your father tell you about vampires?"
Baz's voice is ice: "The subject rarely comes up."
well i mean technically he isn't lying
"Well, I'm just saying"--I square my shoulders and speak deliberately--"it would help in this specific situation if we knew how vampires worked."
His lip curls. "Pretty sure they drink blood and turn into bats, Snow."
[...]
I shove the last bite of roll into my mouth. "Can vampires really turn into bats?"
"Why don't you ask one. Moving on:
LMAOOOOOO SHOOTING HIS SHOT W THE BAT QUESTION (im pretty sure there was a point earlier in the book where he was wondering abt it)
also baz's response is cracking me up gjkdfjdlgs
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"Mistress Mary, the nursery manager, said that one of the beasts attacked Grimm-Pitch from behind, clamping its fangs onto her neck after she neatly decapitated another who was threatening her very own son. 'She was like Fury herself,' Mary said. 'Like something out of a film. The monster bit her, and she choked out a Tyger, tyger, burning bright--then they both went up in flames....'"
Baz stops reading. He looks rattled. "I didn't know that," he says, more to the book than to me. "I didn't know she'd been bitten."
Inch Resting 👀
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He closes his eyes, and his head hangs forward over the book. I feel like I should do something to comfort him, but there's no way to be comforted by your worst enemy.
Except....Hell, I'm not his worst enemy, am I? Hell and horrors.
lol 😏
I'm still standing next to him, and I bump my hand against his shoulder--sort of a comforting bump--and reach for the book.
A Comforting Bump.................. also PLEASE this is what i was talking about THE AWKWARD COMFORTING....... it begins........ pleasg
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Baz is staring past me into nothing. His hair is in his eyes, his arms are folded, and he's holding his elbows. I try the comforting thing again--actually resting my hand on his shoulder this time. "It's okay," I say.
He laughs. A dry bark. "That might be the one thing it isn't. Okay."
"No. I mean, it's okay that you're not okay. Whatever you're feeling is okay."
He stands up, shaking off my hand. "Is that what your friends tell you every time you blow up another chunk of school grounds? Because they're lying to you. It isn't okay. And it won't be.
this bitch can't STAND being comforted by simon gjfjgdkfdg Last Fucking Straw
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I drop the book on my desk and make for the door. I should have known this wouldn't work. He's such an unforgivable twat, even when he's being completely pathetic.
HE JUST FOUND OUT HIS MOM KILLED HERSELF RATHER THAN TURN INTO A VAMPIRE LET HIM FREAK OUT A LITTLE
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"I was helping Baz with something," I say, "but now I'm done. For good."
after he brought you tea and snacks smh
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I hold my arm in front of my face and feel Penny grab the back of my shirt. She reaches her ring hand over my shoulder. "U can't touch this!"
"What's that?" I shout at her.
"Barrier spell. It won't work unless the dragon knows the song."
"How would the dragon know that song?"
"I'm doing my best, Simon!"
FKDJKGJSDLFJDGJDKFJKSJD KYEAH?????????
only absolute TOP TIER spells here
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The dragon's trying to swing me loose--and I'm trying to get my sword out of its hide, so that I can stab it again--when I hear Baz calling my name. I look up and see him running along the ramparts.
He must have cast some spell on his voice to make it carry. [...] "Simon," he's shouting, "don't hurt it!"
Don't hurt it? Sod that. I go back to yanking on my blade.
"Simon!" Baz cries out again. "Wait! They're not dark creatures!"
TWICE
HE SAID IT TWICE
YELLING SIMONS NAME IN A CRITICAL/DIRE MOMENT: CHECK ✔️✔️✔️
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Its wings are beating less furiously. It almost lolls in the air, dipping in Baz's direction and snuffling little puffs of fire.
Baz runs towards us, then stands with his legs apart, his wand in the air.
"Baz!" I yell. "No! You're flammable!"
"So is everything!" he shouts back at me.
"Baz!"
HOUGUGHGGUAGHOAUOUGHGHGUGHGJFHGOGUGH HE. THE. HE FUCKIGN. AAAAAAAAAAAA
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PROPHECY FULFILLED
god. simon 5 fucking minutes ago: FUC this guy im never helping him again
simon now: AAAAAAA GET OUT OF HERE UR GONNA FUCKING DIE AAAAAAAAAA
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Baz lifts his voice louder. There's sweat on his forehead and along his hairline, and his hand is trembling.
I want to help, but chances are, I'd just spoil his spell. I think about taking a whack at the dragon while it's distracted, but Baz told me to stop. I move slowly until I'm standing behind him.
[...]
Baz's whole arm is shaking now.
I put my hand on his shoulder to steady him. And then I do something I've never done before--something I probably wouldn't try with anyone I was scared of hurting.
I push.
I take some of the magic that's always trying to get out of me, and I just push it into Baz.
AYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 👀 👀 👀 👀
His arm straightens like a rod, and his voice hitches louder--"away home!"--midsentence.
[...]
I push a little more magic. I worry that it's too much, but Baz doesn't fall or crumple. His shoulder is rock hard and steady under my palm.
[...]
I stop pushing and close my eyes, letting Baz draw on my magic as he needs it. I don't want to overdo it and set him off like a grenade in my hand.
FELLAS,
[...] Then Baz steps away from my hand and faces me.
He's looking at me like I'm a complete freak. (Which we both already knew was true.)
LOL LMAO I MEAN
(is baz really one to talk)
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"Anyway, I wasn't helping you." He brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck. "I was helping the dragon. You would have killed her."
something about this is SO ENDEARING i love that he cares about this love that he stands up for dragons love that he's like a little embarrassed about it aaaaa screams
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Penelope runs into me like a freight train. She grabs my hand and puts it on her shoulder. "Show me," she says. "Turn on the juice."
LOL PENNY fucking freaklet LITERALLY a mad scientist. sticks forks in the kitchen outlet just to see what happens & then does it like 5 more times until she passes out, wakes up in the hospital like "o shit they got outlets here too 👀" love that for her
I pull my hand back. "What?"
She grabs it again. "I saw what just happened." She puts my hand on her shoulder. "When did you learn to do that?"
"Stop," I say, [...] "I was just giving him moral support."
LMFAO MORAL SUPPORT LMAO LMAOOOOOO
"u got this baz u can do it ur ass is fat and ur meat is huge-"
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Penelope puts my hand on her shoulder again. I pull it away.
When I turn back to the castle, I see Agatha, the only one still watching us from the ramparts.
agatha said 👁👁
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"You told him?" She swings her hand at Baz. "But you didn't tell me?"
"It was his mum," I say.
[...]
"We're telling you now," Baz says.
"'We'?" she says. "Since when are you two a 'we'?"
"We're not a 'we'!" I half shout.
Baz throws his hands up in the air and falls back on his bed. "You people are impossible."
LOL BAZ TRIED W THE 'WE' AND SIMON SAID FUCK NO
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She puts my hand on her shoulder. "Simon, imagine what we could do with your power and my spells. We could finish the Humdrum off by dinner--and then take on hunger and world peace."
"Imagine what the Mage will do when he realizes he has a nuclear power generator in his backyard," Baz croons from his bed.
I swallow and look at the wall. Penny's hand drops. I have to admit that I'm not eager to tell the Mage--or anybody--what I did today.
oh no???????? ur not???????? interesting
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I can see she's made up her mind; she won't leave me alone until I do this. I try to remember how it felt out on the Lawn. Like I was opening, unwinding--just a little. Just barely letting go...
I give the very smallest push.
"Great snakes!" Penny says, snatching her hand away from me and jumping off the bed. "Fuck a nine-toed troll, Simon." She's shaking her hand, and there are tears in her eyes. "Stevie Nicks and Gracie Slick! Fuck!"
I'm on my feet. "Sorry! Penny, I'm sorry, let me see!"
Baz drops back onto his bed, cackling.
LOOOOOLLLLL BAZ
and also heehoo hehehe hehe hee hee hahooo ho only works w baz :)
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"It was more like a shock," Penelope says, then looks up at Baz. "What about for you?"
He gets out his wand. "I don't know. I was focusing on the dragon."
"Did it hurt?" she asks him.
"Maybe you didn't see what you think you saw," Baz says. "Maybe Snow really was just giving me moral support."
And That Worked
"Right. And maybe you're the most gifted mage in five generations."
"Maybe I am," he says, tapping his ivory wand against her arm. "Get well soon!"
he healed her 🥺
"How did that feel?" I ask her.
"Better," she says reluctantly, pulling her arm away from us. She frowns at Baz--"Hot."
He grins, hitching up that eyebrow again.
"I meant temperature-wise," she says. "Your magic feels like a grease-burn, Basil."
Baz waves his hand in a shrug and turns to the chalkboard. "Runs in the family."
god i just fucking. i love this shit. i love them, as a group, just their stupid banter this is so fucking good please PLEASE........ baz & penny especially have such a fun dynamic i wanna see more of them....... let them be friends........... god please fucking god aaaaaaaa
[...] "So...," she says, following him to the chalkboard. "You got a Visiting. An actual Visiting--Natasha Grimm-Pitch was here."
Baz glances back over his shoulder. "You sound impressed, Bunce."
"I am," Penelope says. "Your mother was a hero. She developed a spell for gnomeatic fever. And she was the youngest headmaster in Watford history."
Baz is looking at Penny like they've never met.
LIKE????????? AM I WRONG
[...] "It was brilliant," Penny says. "I've read the minutes."
"Where?" Baz asks her.
"We have them in our library at home," she says. "My dad loves marriage rites. Any sort of family magic, actually. He and my mother are bound together in five dimensions."
"That's lovely," Baz says, and I'm terrified because I think he means it.
fucking. amazing how well you can get along w someone when u just have a normal fucking pleasant conversation w them, imagine that
-
"Interesting," Baz rubs his chin. "My mother hung the moon."
"She was a legend," Penelope beams.
"I thought your parents hated the Pitches," I say.
They both look at me like I've just stuck my hand in the soup bowl.
LMFAO SIMON
literally fuckign
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"That's politics," Penelope says. "We're talking about magic."
"Obviously," I say. "What was I thinking."
"Obviously," Baz says. "You weren't."
"What's happening right now?" I say. "What are we even doing?"
LOL HE CAN'T TAKE IT he's fuckin short circuiting
Penelope folds her arms and squints at the chalkboard. "We," she declares, "are finding out who killed Natasha Grimm-Pitch."
"The legend," Baz says.
Penelope gives him a soft look, the kind she usually saves for me. "So she can rest in peace."
WHEEZES
THEM...... FRIENDS....... THIS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT TO ME......... this could've gone so differently man penny coulda been like simon, all on guard against baz and reluctantly working with him but NO the author made a point to say No These Two Get Along Super Well Actually Lmao LIKE!!!!!!!! it must be so fucking bizarre for simon to see his best friend and his worst enemy getting on so well right before his eyes it's DELICIOUS,
fuck this book is so good it's so GOOD this is EVERYTHING
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[Baz] Penelope Bunce is a fierce magician, I don't mind saying.
[...]
I can tell she still finds me both loathsome and distasteful, but Rome wasn't built on mutual admiration. She's got a fine mind for magickal history--her house must be teeming with forbidden books--and half her opinions would get her thrown in a dungeon if her name were Pitch instead of Bunce.
love this perspective on things like they're so similar in a lot of ways but from completely different worlds, essentially just more on "things might be different if our lives weren't dictated by the war" and such
(which speaking of, another fun lil contrast, between penny and simon, is how easily she was able to put aside her distaste for baz & his family and jump into helping them, how quickly she was able to just. start talking to him like nothing. simons having all these internal struggles about Right and Wrong and Betraying The Mage, meanwhile penny's like yea it's not a big deal i'm interested so i want in and that's that
i know that's a bit of an oversimplification but my point is things aren't so black and white for penny as they are for simon; he has a harder time committing to something so off-script, while penny finds out they're doing this and goes Alright How Can I Help. i just think it's a neat contrast, especially considering the conversation they had earlier highlighting their different views on the mage; how she doesn't mind working with "the enemy" as much as simon does)
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Snow puts down a book and comes to take the jug of milk off the tray. He lifts it towards his mouth, and I kick his shin.
"Anathema!" he says.
"I'm not trying to hurt you; I'm trying to protect you from your own disgusting manners. The room won't blame me this time, you oaf. There are glasses right here."
GOD LMAO
also simon????? hello??????????? why is he like this
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She picks up a sandwich and sits on Snow's bed, crossing her legs. I could see right up her skirt if I felt like it--and if I tipped my head a bit.
whh. h. ????? Huh??? why would u say this. why did he fucking say this. r u trying to prove ur not straight. is this the opposite of gay thoughts. what is this im gonnag
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"It doesn't have to make sense," Snow says. "The Humdrum sent the vampires. Just like that dragon today. It didn't want to be here either."
I wasn't sure Snow realized that, or believed me when I told him. I thought he was going to murder that dragon hen in cold blood in front of the whole school.
*telltale games voice* Baz will remember that.
-
"Wait a minute...." Bunce takes the book from him and hands him her sandwich to hold; he takes a bite.
SIMON
"There's nothing about the Humdrum." She flips ahead to the story about my mother's death, then scans it with her finger. "No Humdrum here either."
She closes the book and taps the cover with her ring. "Fine-tooth comb--Humdrum!" The book opens, and the pages start rifling forward. They pick up speed towards the end; then the book slams shut on her lap.
"No mentions," Penny says.
HELLO god what i would give for shit like that in real life are u KIDDING ME #1 most useful spell in this entire BOOK
(also i feel like it's typos but this baz pov chapter keeps switching between calling penny bunce, penelope and penny and it's throwing me off so much like is that INTENTIONAL. it feels so out of character. i could see penelope but DEF not penny)
"That doesn't make sense," I say. "The Humdrum existed then. The first dead spot appeared in the late '90s. Near Stonehenge. We've studied it in Magickal History."
"I know," she says. "My mother was pregnant with me when it happened. She and Dad visited the site."
i am once again saying
👀
i have like. not talked about the humdrum at all in these liveblogs lol but alright theory time
so we know the humdrum is this fuckin Thing that sucks magic out of places, which then become dead spots. and also that he looks like simon, and keeps sending shit to attack simon at school
we ALSO know that baz was born in 1997 (was 5 y/o in 2002) and JUST learned that penny was also born in the late 90s, which means we can assume that simon was born at the same time
and the humdrum's first dead spot appeared in the late 90s
so idk i am Just Saying that it would be a wild coincidence if the humdrum's appearance didn't have SOMETHING to do w simon being born
and also, the humdrum sucks magic out of places. simon has an absolute ABUNDANCE of magic. he is overflowing with this shit. it makes him explode
i dont have like, a Concrete Theory yet, but i wanna say the humdrum like. IS a part of simon in some way, like a manifestation of his magic or his emotions or both or some shit.
like i mean it's pretty obvious it has SMTH to do w simon, seeing as it takes on his form and attacks him specifically, but like. i think there's more to it than just "it's this evil guy that wants to take simon down bc he's the prophesied Most Powerful Mage Ever," like. i think the humdrum came into existence as a direct result of simon's existence in some way
and uh. that's all i got for now tee hee
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"Did you feel the Humdrum?" Snow asks. "That day in the nursery?"
"I was a bit distracted," I say.
"What did they tell you?" Bunce asks.
"What did who tell me?"
"Your family. After your mother died."
"They didn't tell me anything. What was there to say?"
[...]
Snow clears his throat. "Baz, when did you first hear that it was the Humdrum who sent the vampires?"
They're imagining my father sitting me down in a leather club chair and saying, "Basilton, there's something I need to tell you...."
He's never said those words.
Nobody tells anyone anything in my family. You just know. You learn to know.
he says it like it's so fucked up but this is exactly what my family's like LOL
well ok not to the extent he's talking abt but we fuckin. none of my siblings or i ever came out to each other we just kinda find out randomly and go haha nice
(thats probs normal if we all grew up mormon tho 😬)
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I take a sandwich and the apple, and stand up. "I need some air."
I wait until I'm down in the Catacombs to tuck in. I don't really like eating in front of people.
taking his dinner down to the catacombs like a little Beast, Wretched Creature
u know how they say eating meals together is like a sign of closeness and all that, and how it can be used in writing to show the closeness of the characters. how throughout this whole chapter simon and penny have been sharing food and taking bites of each other's sandwiches and climbing over each other to get to shit ("She leans over Snow's lap to reach the brownies.") like it's the most casual thing in the world. how baz takes his shit and Literally walks all the way down the tower stairs, across the fuckin school and hides Underground to eat his food
desperately wanna see him get to a point where he feels comfortable eating in front of them, both simon AND penny, GIVE me shared meals i NEED IT
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and ok i actually. i think we're at the point i can talk abt all those 👀's i was throwing out earlier lol
"It seemed like dozens, but that can't be right, because I was the only child who was bitten."
"after she neatly decapitated another who was threatening her very own son."
natasha (baz's mom) was also bitten
"vampires don't normally attack wizards"
bruh u CAN'T be telling me it's a coincidence that out of everyone at the nursery baz & natasha were the ONLY ones bitten like!!!!! if i'm reading that right it seems like natasha decapitated one vampire who tried to bite baz, and then Another one came to finish the job just as she herself was bitten. why were they SO focused on getting to baz hmm. HMMM.
and they start talking about how little sense it makes for them to have attacked watford, of all places
"I can't think of a more difficult place for a vampire to get blood," she says, "than Watford, in the middle of the day."
[...] "Yeah, but it's Watford." She shakes her long hair. "Even back then, there was a wall of wards against dark creatures."
so not only do they not normally attack wizards, but the one time they did was against a heavily guarded fortress, basically. it clearly wasn't an attack for the sake of feeding, but for some other much more specific reason. something against the pitch family in particular
again, no concrete theories or anything but i think it was Pretty Clearly a targeted attack
---
leaving it there for this time hehe..,,,,, i think we might actually catch up to where i've read up to next time, if i play my cards right, which is insane and wild and i am pumping my fist and barking like a frat boy HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
i think i originally got that far in like 2 or 3 days and now it's been probs over a week at this point since then so aghagjag when i tell u im fuckin READY..... HOO BOY
likee comment sus :)
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rusted-sun · 2 years
Note
WHISPERFALL
But I raise you this Florence is a full native to the lands, and Chandler is a “halfian” being part human.
anyways just head empty and Florence being that calm guard till you say shit bout the lord or/and her brother
just someone saying something while walking by her post. . . It was expected of course Halfian Lord! That’s new!
also when Florence and Chandler where younger, like Florence is let’s say. . 5-9 years older then Chandler. So Florence is holding Baby Chandler. . . And she’s been so excited to be lord ever since she knew of the role!! But she took a good look at her baby halfian brother and smiled. “[misgendered term cus Chandler wasn’t trans yet] is gonna be an amazing lord!! Can’t wait!!”
okay you just opened a whole new can of worms HEHEHEHEHEHE LESGOOOO
(also gonna just keep reffering to chandler as well... chandler, even when he's a kid and pre-everything cuz honestly i cannot be bothered to make up a deadname for him, and i dont feel the need to either)
when chandler finally gained conciousness (lets say at around idk.. 7 years old), he realized that he's basically the reason his big sister can't be a lord now. simply due to him being alive.
and troughout his entire childhood, he'd just heard of his big sister talk about how exciting it would be to actually be a lord of all the people in the village. and that realization just ate at him alive.
so when it was his turn to "claim the throne" he was basically at the peak of his imposter syndrome cuz he fully believed that florence deserves to be in his place.
she actually seemed excited to be lord when they were younger. she's a true native to the village. and also the obvious, she's older and more, lets say, mature? so she could handle it all better. unlike him who's barely even able to leave the house w/o freaking the fuck out.
i imagine that when the news were announced that chandler will be the next lord and will gain control, chandler was DEVASTATED. he thought his parents might have reconsidered and let florence be the rightful leader.
maybe a month before the "crowning ceremony", he wasn't in a good place mentally at ALL and just dissapeared into the depths of the forest for a few days w/o telling a single soul. he just needed time to himself to actually come to terms with everything. and that included mysteriously vanishing without anyone noticing.
back at whisperfall, i imagine things were very split. one half were devastated that the lord-to-be had gone missing, hosting search parties, etc etc. not giving a single shit about his genetics. they welcomed him w open arms.
and the other half just scoffed and watched, thinking that chandler, a halfling AND the younger sibling, didn't deserve the throne and how florence should be claiming it instead. because for fucks sake, thats practically a kid theyre electing and the lil shit cant even fly above the treetops! the city will be a laughingstock!
maybe while on a solo search mission, florence finds him. he's been in a well hidden cave thats been covered up with vines and tall grass. exacrly where she thought he'd be at. somwhere noone would bother looking closer at.
after all the questioning florence does that mostly consisted of "what the FUCK are you doing here??? ALONE???" chandler opens up about how he doesnt think he deserves to be lord. how she should be in his place instead for reasons listed earlier.
florence just listens, heartbroken that she never realized how chandler himself may feel about being thrusted into such a high position w barely any training.
maybe she offers a compromise. chandler becomes lord, and she becomes the head guard. that way she'll always be there to help and guide him when necessary, and they'll always be by each others side. basically she's a his right hand but with even more power. she's the 2nd lord at this point!
---
just a lil word blurb at how just. not ready chandler is for everything at first. also peep the heavy projecting about me wanting to hide from life and new experiences lmao jssbjssvjss. also i now declare noone in whislerwood is transphobic.
even the ones who hate chandler still respect his identity. they may be assholes but theyre not monsters
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uwanosorade · 3 years
Text
like i probably shouldn't wade into discourse and i honestly dont know if this is still a Wrong Opinion that will get me in trouble on this webbed site but like. I never understood those posts that used to go around about how identifying as ace when you're 15 or whatever is going to do Irreparable Psychological Harm to you because what if you were actually a non-ace lesbian or something and you were missing out on lesbian years like? maybe im misunderstanding something but like high school is just not the be all end all of your existence. I mean its one thing if you're attacking yourself and making yourself feel ashamed and miserable with it but if a label worked for you and made you feel positively about yourself at the time then it was good for you, and if it feels like it doesn't work anymore then you don't need it anymore. you're not going to ruin your life by like, describing yourself with the wrong word for a couple of years. You have (hopefully) 60 plus years to think about who you are and try different versions of yourself you don't have to make sure you're stamped with the Correct Orientation on day 1 of puberty
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fvckmyaesthetic · 5 years
Text
🧙‍♂️
#no offense but i feel like i kinda lost a lot of things a lot earlier on in my life than a lot of the people i know did#idk maybe thats just my brain being stupid at 5am again for no reason because i can never figure out how to sleep#but i watched a lot of things (and people) die before i was even like? 13?#and i feel like thats not something i usually openly acknowledge#its been years now since my grandpa died just a few weeks before i became a teenager and hit a lot of other big milestones in my life#but its so weird to talk to people who just#have grown up with their parents and their siblings and no one else living in their house#or who will be anywhere from their late teens up to their early twenties and will finally be losing something/someone that was a big part +#+of their lives#i feel like i lost more shit that i loved or that i didnt get thr chance to love within the first 15 years of my life than what ive seem#seen* a lot of people lose in twice that#and i know i cant type right now and im annoying as hell#but my dad’s dad and step mom died when i was a lot younger and his only sibling that wasnt a hamf sibling died when he was only like 13#and my grandpa died a few years back now and all of our stupid pers died at the same fucking time#i dont know whether im mad that everything died or that people dont understand what its like to live with grandparents/great aunts/etc#maybe im just fucking salty who knows at this point#but i cant imagine what my life would be like just growing up living with my parents and siblings and having to go to separate houses to#visit all of my grandparents#theres not a word in the world to describe how pathetic and useless i feel as a person#and i wish people wouldnt tell me that they loved me because it just makes it that much harder when i hate myself at times like these#because if i were anyone else theres no fucking way i could ever possibly love myself so idk how people always tell me that they do#im gonna probably live alone with my cat and then he’s gonna die and im just gonna hate myself even fucking more until i lay down and dietoo#i cant tell what my point is anymore#ill see yall when i fail school and disappoint everyone in my life even more than i already have within the past year
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agape-bakery · 3 years
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ah, may i please request the brothers with an MC who was summoned without their glasses, but just? didnt say anything?? and after an absurd amount of time (like a month or two) they're just like "oh, yeah i need glasses i cant rlly see anything lmao"
with a GN or male mc please :)
thank you, have a wonderful day! -🐱
Me in about 3 years- This was pretty difficult to do so it took me so long to finish and it still ended up shorter than I wanted it to be, so sorry about that anon!
Would like to give a small reminder that this is not how the brothers would react canonically, especially for Belphie's scenario!
The Brothers with an MC who needs glasses
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Lucifer
He thought you were making a poor attempt to be intimidating in the beginning by how hard you were squinting whenever you look around
He then thought that you needed glasses but by the way you didn't say anything, he assumed that was not the case
During the month, Lucifer is CONVINCED that you needed glasses
He's the Avatar of Pride but he's not that prideful about glasses....kind of-
After weeks of watching you rub your eyes and squint, he finally decided to ask if you needed glasses
Your eyes light up and you quickly nod and then go, "I actually forgot to told you I need glasses lol-"
....
WHAT
Lucifer would stare down at you with the most wide-eyed confused look he has ever given someone in his whole life
"MC, what do you mean you forgot?"
"I just forgot!"
Lucifer would take a long sigh before shaking his head, while he's exasperated, it's better late than never
Even if he acts annoyed, he'd still buy you some glasses as a gift
He now has more reasons to believe his gut, especially when it comes to you
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Mammon
He most likely wears those sunglasses not because he thought it was cool but because his eyes are blurry from staring at his phone all the time-
As he was a demon, he didn't need to use it all the time
But when he saw you squinting, he was already in front of you with his hand up, smirking like he didn't experience the same thing in the past
"I saw you squinting, MC, how many fingers am I holding up?"
"Haha, real funny."
You completely forgot to tell him that you actually did need glasses and moved on with your day
The longer you did that, the more Mammon grew concerned, is this a habit??? Are you fucking with him just because he asked you how many fingers he was holding up??
When he finally confronted you after psyching himself in front of his mirror:
"MC, do you really need glasses??"
"Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you that a month ago but I forgot."
"WHO FORGETS ABOUT NEEDING GLASSES? IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU-"
Don't worry, if you mention wanting the same glasses as his but with your prescription, Mammon would leave it aside to look for a matching pair-
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Leviathan
This guy NEEDS the high prescription glasses with blue light filter 24/7
He stares at the screen all day, tell me he doesn't need it-
Anyway, he might have noticed that you need one in the beginning but didn't think too much of it and left it alone
He found out while he was playing a game with you and you weren't doing too good unless you lean closer/back
He doesn't mind carrying but while his eyes were focused on the screen, he asked if you were alright
You were his lover, after all, he didn't want you to get a headache or something because of him
You nod your head and tell him that it's because you need the glasses to fully see
As soon as the game was over, he was like, "Legit???" and couldn't believe his ears when you confirmed it
Dealing with glasses was difficult enough but he couldn't imagine playing while not wearing contacts or glasses
The day after that, you now have matching glasses with your boyfriend, now the both of you can act like the smart people in anime :D
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Satan
Most likely wears reading glasses but that's it
He instantly knows that you need it because who squints like that?
But he doesn't have your medical files so he couldn't say for sure
It didn't hurt to ask though
"MC? Forgive me if this sounds offensive, but do you always squint like that?"
"Oh! I didn't tell you? I need glasses!"
"Have you not been wearing contacts or glasses this past month??"
"I forgot..."
Satan thinks of a solution, not wearing glasses when you need it, especially with bad vision might further harm the eyes so he tags along with you to get one
Frankly, he doesn't mind if his lover has glasses, he thinks it's endearing!
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Asmodeus
Cares a lot about all of his body and makes sure to take care of them all the time so he didn't really need glasses, well, the ones with prescription that is
Honestly could have been one of the brothers to let you remember much earlier
Because he also spends time on his eyes, making sure it gets its needed rest, he might know something about glasses
And he noticed how you seemed to need one whenever you look at something close/far away
He hugs your arm, looking at you with a worried pout, "Hey MC, you've been staring in space and squinting for a long while, are you okay?"
As you reassured him and tell him that you just forgot your glasses, he laughs it off, until he realized that you weren't wearing one for MONTHS
He's a little worried, what if your vision got worse?
As soon as school ends, he's taking you to the doctor! No buts!
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Beelzebub
The brother who didn't notice until at least 4 months or longer (while the others took a few weeks or a month)
Another one who cares about his body to keep it healthy, eyes are very important and even if it was an annoying task, he isn't planning on making it worse
Might have seen you squinting and staring off in space with a mean look, but that's what Belphie and Lucifer do sometimes, so he thought it was nothing
Until you say it outright to him or someone tells him, or if your vision's getting worse, he wouldn't notice-
"Ugh...I can't believe I forgot my glasses of all things.."
"You needed glasses??"
He feels bad for not noticing sooner, so he vows to help find you if ever your glasses get lost or ruined
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Belphegor
Menace
Would be fast asleep to notice your struggles
And if we're going the original route and the two of you just met, he wouldn't even care-
When he finds out that you forgot them and had to walk around with no glasses, he snickered
"Who forgets their glasses?" He flicks your forehead with a small smile before yawning
Would bully you lightly tease you for having glasses in the first place
"You need glasses to see? Too bad."
But if you really do feel sad about what he's saying, he'll feel a little bad and stops it, apologizing quietly
Even if it's a difficult task for him to stay awake, he wants to at least try one time for you and remind you where your glasses are and that you should wear it
529 notes · View notes
rommahh · 3 years
Text
I Carry Your Heart
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Harry Styles x Reader
Word Count: 4k
{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.
Part two
All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.
This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.
Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.
She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.
After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.
“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.
“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.
This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.
“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.
The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.
“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.
“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.
Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.
Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.
“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.
“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.
“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.
“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.
“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.
Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.
Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.
He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.
The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.
His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.
“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.
“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.
“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.
“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.
“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”
“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.
Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break.  Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.
She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.
“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.
Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.
“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.
“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.
“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”
“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.
“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.
“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.
“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.
“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.
“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.
“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.
“I don't-”
“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.
Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.
The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.
Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.
Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.
She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.  
“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.
“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.
“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
“I don't know what to say harry.”
“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.
“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.
“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.
“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.
“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.
“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.
She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.
Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.
Part two
409 notes · View notes
chocominnie · 3 years
Text
One Last Time 02  —  Pjm. (M)
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⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader
⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst
⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…
⇢ Song : xxxxx
⇢ Previous : 00   01
⇢ Word Count : 
⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!
⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken
⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?
Your eyes shoot open, chest heaving heavily as you let out a blood curdling scream. Not this again. The same dream over and over again each night. It leaves you sleepless. The time on the clock on your nightstand reads 3:04 am. Just only four hours ago is when you fell asleep. But a full night’s sleep hasn’t happened for a year so why would it matter anyways.
Once you catch your breath you unplug your phone from the charger and read some of the notifications. From your window, the night-time critters sing their songs along with the persistant owl that’s somewhere around the apartment complex. You’d only noticed him, the owl, just a few months ago when your cat started meowing with his hoots. 
A missed call from your uncle. 
Immediately you unlock your phone and dial the number. Bringing your index finger to your mouth you gently nip on it waiting for it to answer, The rings are agonizing to you. If something has happened you only wish and pray it wasn’t as bad as you think. He’s the only parental figure left in your life.
‘‘ Princess! Hello I was just calling to speak to you earlier. But I realized you are five hours ahead of me and you had probably went to sleep.’‘
His soothing voice calms your emotions making you let out a tiny breath of air. Thank god.
‘’Hey Charlie.” You sigh. Looking towards your left, you spot Clara purring quietly next to you. You can’t help but to smile while bringing a hand over to rub her head with your thumb.  She’s so small under the shining moonlight from your window.
Her white coat shines brightly amongst her, making you remember the first night you had brought her home. All she did was sleep, and it worried you because you had no prior expierence caring for anything, let alone a small animal. Clara only drank kitten milk and slept back then. Occasionally being awake enough to nip at your fingers whenever you pet or touched her.
Now she’s a bit bigger and walks around the apartment like she owns the place. Quite the little attitude she has, but its too damn cute for you to scold her whenever she does something wrong. 
“ Yes I did fall asleep from after a gathering at someone’s house.’’ You continue on, bringing your knees to your chest after opening the curtain of your window fully.
The moons brightness illuminates the entire room, but not so bright for you to complain though. ‘’ Oh- was it Jimin’s? Tell him I said hell-’’
You bite your lip hard at his name. He doesn’t know and you wont even dare to let him know. Knowing him, your uncle would have a fit and oppose to come back to Seoul to ‘set the record straight.’ to Jimin. That’s the last thing you want to do, cause trouble.
‘‘ It was his brother’s house warming party.” You say, lowering your tone in your voice. You look at the nightstand for a couple of seconds just before opening the top drawer of the wooden, polished piece. Your hands shakily pull out a picture of you two together.
It was taken at  Marne-la-Vallée, France right infront of Cinderella’s castle. That was the day that you and Jimin had to went to Disneyland in Paris, France. You cant help but to think, with the picture in hand, that it was one of the best nights ever. It was also the same night your virginity was taken.
‘‘ Oh.. I know that tone. Are you two arguing at the moment.”
You shrug, “ I mean you could say that.’’
No you cant.
‘‘ Alright alright I won’t talk more of him. Let’s change the subject.” He chuckles deeply into the phone.
‘‘ How’s Europe? Anything new happening on base?”
‘‘ Same old Same old. It’s been what? 2 years since I’ve left Seoul? The food is different over here. They don’t have kimchi pancakes sadly.”
You can only imagine the frowny face he makes at you whenever he doesn’t approve or like something. It always turns out to be funny.
You giggle into the phone shaking your head slightly, “ Of course. You are in Europe Charlie. Where are you getting food from anyway if you are on base?’’
‘‘ I can go off base to a certain mileage when I am off duty. I just have to report back in time. But you do know that you can always come live on base with me...’ He trails off.
Oh boy. Here he goes. He’s always talking about moving you on base with him. Hell, he’s been talking about it since before he had to go to be based in Europe. By then you were twenty years old and old enough to live by yourself. Growing up in Daegu, Korea since you were six, you felt as if Korea was home to you and you definately weren’t ready to leave yet.
Especially, after losing your parents here. Around eight years old, your aunt and mother were on the way to pick up your father from the airport. With your mom and dad also being military and based in Korea with your dad’s bestfriend, your uncle Charlie, your father had been called to take military leave to go and be based in Korea for the National Guard.
On the way back from the airport, a drunk driver had struck the car knocking them off the road and colliding head first into the railing of the bridge. All bodies were reported dead upon collision, including your aunt. Charlie didn’t take the news well at all, and so did you. Only eight years old and still a bit new to a foreign country. It was devistating for you and Charlie. Charlie did what was right and stepped up to be your legal guardian while taking some time off from the military. Till this day, he treats you like his sacred little daughter and you can’t ask for anyone better than him.
 “You are old enough to live on your own and housing is avail-”
You jump at his voice on the line again, being too spaced out from the tragic memory. Before he can go on any longer you cut him off. ‘‘ Im fine with the apartment you left me. Im paying the bills on time and taking good care of it.”
‘‘ Alright fine. But that option is always available you hear me? I will always be ready for you to come with me.’’
‘‘ Okay Charlie” You groan.
‘‘ Alright.. sweetie it’s getting late on this side and it’s already 3 am on your side. Get some sleep okay? Don’t you have a model shoot thingy or something? You have those a lot.’‘
‘‘ Yes i actually do in a couple of hours. It’s been a while since I’ve did a shoot. Please eat and sleep well. Don’t injure yourself.’‘
‘‘ I promise. You promise to do the same right?’‘ He says, rustling movements are in the background.
‘‘ Yes I promise. Good night sleep tight..’‘ You smile as you wait for him to finish the rest.
He chuckles one last time on the other end, ‘‘I’ll always love you, goodnight‘’
Beep Beep Beep
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You in a racy light pink lingerie with white duvets and sheets is the concept of your comeback. It’s supposed to symbolize the “Night After’’. Camera’s click and directors yell and praise you in your subtle yet damaging moves and facial expressions. You want.. no need for this comeback to be successful. Not only did your manager schedule this, but she is making sure that they release this same very day.
Nobody in this company’s industry has ever did this before. But you, you are sort of the special one. The special foreigner as they say. It’s not like you don’t like it but you don’t like that they label you as that. Stylists, employee’s hell even anybody who works there treat you as a princess. It’s not bad, but it’s just weird.
‘‘ One last one. Give me a sexy yet innocent look mama.’‘ Elliot, the director says, smiling wide at you.
You slip a finger into your mouth and do a little pout with your lips.
Elliot busts out into a roar of happiness with his hands clapping furiously. ‘‘That’s it mama yes! That’s just what we needed!’‘
Adjusting his microphone earpiece, he turns around to greet and thank everyone, ‘‘ Alright everybody this concludes our shooting! You all worked so hard today. Make it home safe, eat well.’‘
Finally. You sigh out in relief and close your eyes. It’s been a long day. Almost 6 hours of shooting. Three Videos, and five swap outfits for each session of shooting for the ‘’ Night After’’.  As everyone heads out and starts cleaning up you bow your head slightly and thank them.
A stylist brings you a satin robe to cover yourself in. You thank her and put it on just before getting up from the bed and walking towards wardrobe. Once you are done putting on your clothes, your manager leads you straight out the exit. Outside awaits the car that drives you everywhere. Literally everywhere.
‘‘ Tomorrow somebody has put in a special request for you to appear as the main lead girl in their music video. It’s short notice and I told them I would have to bump some things around and notify you. But they are paying us and you good money to be in it.’‘
Money? Sounds like a plan.
‘‘ It’s fine. Who am I shooting for?’‘ You say, fluffing your hair just a little while inspecting yourself in the rear view mirror.
Your makeup is still intact with no ruins and the contacts they had given you suited you very well. A hazel with a slight bit of teal. Suddenly the car moves off into the busy streets of Seoul. You can’t help but to notice every couple that walks along the sidewalks. They seem so happy, glad to be around each other.
On the floor of the car lies your little mini backpack filled with all of your items and belongings. Picking it up, you begin to dig through it looking for some hand lotion to soothe your semi-dry hands. Once you find it you gently start to squeeze the tube.
‘‘ Kim Namjoon.’‘
You freeze. Namjoon? The same Namjoon from the group? Joonie? It’s been well… a year since you’ve seen him in person. Hell since you’ve seen all of Bangtan Sonyeondan together. Except for lastnight when Hoseok and.. that guy showed up.
You sigh already knowing the answer from the question you are about to ask.
‘‘ From…?’‘ You ask then put the lotion back in your bag. Slowly you rub your hands together to moisturize.
Your manager quickly flips through the daily planner, ‘‘ Bangtan Sonyeodan but this is for one of his mixtape songs.’‘
Thank goodness.
‘‘ That’s fine. What time will the car be arriving tomorrow?’‘
‘‘ 8 am on the dot. You need to be there by 8:30. I’ll be tending to one of my other models tomorrow so you will be alone. I can send som-’‘
‘‘ No no it’s truly okay. I know how to manage things myself. Besides, I learn from you.’‘ You reassure her with one of your winning smiles, laying your head on her shoulder.
‘‘ Aigoo what am I going to do with you?’‘
The day ends very well. The movies you’ve been watching have kept you occupied. But not occupied enough for you to keep crying at all the sad parts in the chick flicks. Breakups, someone had died, someone had even just spilled something onto the floor and that was enough to send you into tears.Only because when the main lead boy rushed to help clean it up, it reminded you of Jimin last-night helping Isabel.
‘’What is going on with myself.’’ You blow your nose into a tissue for what seemed like the thousandth time today. Clara lets out one of her meows beside you then goes back to grooming herself.
You place her onto your lap and begin to run your fingers through her fur over and over again. Such a soothing effect to you as you stare into space sulking in your thoughts.
Why is it that you weren’t enough for him? Why is it that every single little thing reminds you of him? You gave him your all and he gave you his but what happened? Where did you go wrong? Cooked, cleaned, satisfied his needs. You guys had even started to plan out what you wanted out of a family. When you wanted a baby and what you would name it. It was fun. The whole relationship was fun. Right until that scandal.
Ding.. Ding.. Ding.. DI-
You unlock your phone immediately to stop that annoying dinging noise. Not surprisingly it’s a text from Jeon Jungkook.
Kookie : Im coming over I’ll be there in exactly 3 minutes.
Kookie: Don’t think about leaving either.
Kookie: Im bringing someone with me.
Kookie: We need to have a serious talk babycheeks.
You roll your eyes at the nickname he’s given you. No matter how many times you tell him you want him to change it, he declines. There’s no point in asking anymore.
Why would he want to talk anyways and who is the person he’s bringing. Eh.. it might just be Ryan they seem to do everything together as a team.
As soon as you step foot out of your bed the sound the door clicking makes your head shoot up. How in the living hell does he know the password to your house? Rage takes over you. That’s something that you hate. When people invade your personal space. In this case, personal home.
‘‘ Jeon fucking Jungkook!’‘ You scream, abruptly stomping your feet all the way to and out your bedroom door. Suddenly you stop at the sight of the two faces staring back at you.
Jungkook’s expression holds a concerned yet upset face while the other just stands there calm and cool. But you on the other hand are way besides that level.
Your eyes must be filled with rage and the expression on your face is no good. How dare he disrespect you like that? Bringing him into your home, knowing the bad blood between you two. Oh, they both have something coming towards them. You begin to walk to them again making each step make the floor shake.
‘‘ Get out. Both of you. One you invade my personal private home..’‘
You grab both boys by their collars, making sure to grip the one on the right’s harder than usual. ‘‘ Two, you fucking invite him over here.’‘ You drag each of them towards the exit. Which is going good until Jungkook rips your hands away from his shirt and takes you over his shoulder.
You’ve had enough of him and his invasive ways. Pounding on his back with your fists, you make sure to scream into his ear. “ Put me the fuck down Jeon Jungko-”
You hiss at the stinging sensation on your ass. Did he just? Jimin stands there awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. You make sure to make eye contact with him and roll your eyes. Something that always had and will piss him off.
‘‘ Hush. I told you all of us needed to have a deep talk about you.’‘
Jungkook plops your frail body onto one side of the couch in which he sits next to you. He motions for Jimin to come sit across from the both of you but you aren’t having it.
‘‘ Don’t you do it.” You glare at him. Jungkook sighs harshly only to pluck your forehead two times. You whine and rub it with your index and middle finger.
Jungkook shakes his head in disapproval, ‘‘ When are you ever going to learn? Jimin sit down now.”
‘‘ Truthfully.. I feel as though I shouldn’t be here so-”
“ Good. Get out you are unwanted.” You snap back causing him to give you one of his long stares with no facial expression at all.
Jungkook glares at you just before getting up to throw his hands in the air full of disappointment. “ Enough! “
Yelling. Something else you don’t like to hear being done at yourself. You finally sit still and quite avoiding any eye contact with the both of them.
He sits back down and clears his throat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look before continuing on.
‘‘ I gathered us here to talk about you..”
‘‘ Why. Im fine. How many times do I have to say it. Im fine im fine im fine im fucking fine!’‘ You exclaim, getting more mad by the second. When will people accept this?
‘‘ Baby.. ’‘
Your eyes shoot up to him and his soft voice. You didn’t want to but you did because his voice to you is like candy that melts into your mouth.
‘‘ Don’t call me that. You have a girlfriend at-least be loyal to her rather than what you did to me.’‘
‘‘ Fuck is anybody going to just sit here and listen? Can we at-least get to the source of the problem? Huh?’‘ Jungkook leans back into the couch clearly pissed by your attitude.
Jimin’s the first to speak and holds a firm eye contact with you, almost daring you to break away from it.
‘‘ Fine. Im just going to cut straight to it then. Why are you so jealous? You aren’t okay at all. I seen the way you looked at us yesterday. You wanted to break down so bad but you didn’t. It looks like you’ve been dropping weight day by day why aren’t you eating well?’’
You’re taken a-back by his jealous comment. Although you are you just cannot admit it. You are jealous. You do want him back. You cant bear to see him with another girl but you. But the fact that Jimin is concerned makes you really hope. Just hope that there is something left of you still in his heart.
‘‘ Jealous? Jealous tuh.” You scoff, leaning into Jungkook’s arms where you rest his head on your chest. You only do this just to see Jimin’s reaction and by the look on his face he doesn’t enjoy that move one bit.
‘‘ Yes jealous. I mean why else would you put almond extra-
‘‘ Woah. No need to go there. We established that it was a so called accident lastnight.” Jungkook does finger quotes into the air and looks down at you.
You lift your head up and furrow your eyebrows in annoyance, “ So called? So you really believe that I did it on purpose. Wow Jungkook. Escort yourself out.’’
He sighs, wrapping his arms around you securly in hopes of you settling down a  little, “ Honestly it’s not like that. I wasn’t there to see you bake them nor was I watching her eat it. Im just saying that you knew Jimin was coming and obviously his girlfriend was going to come too. It’s a little sketchy is all.”
There’s no fixing what he said. Him adding onto his explanation just made things sound worse than what he’s trying to say. You don’t have time to be ganged up on, nor like it at all. It’s best if they both just leave, to not turn nothing into something.
‘‘ Get out. Now. Before I call and tell Ryan what you said and then she’ll definitely deal with you.’‘ You say, removing yourself from off of him and onto the other side of the couch with your legs crossed.
Mad isn’t even the word to describe yourself right now. You’re just a mixture of all emotions.
Jungkook now looks of sorriness written all over his face. You bite your lip and shake your head while pointing towards the door. He sighs heavily and takes one last look at you while removing himself from the couch. You watch him slip on his coat and shoes.
Jimin gets up from his spot on the couch, ‘‘ I’ll be leav-”
‘‘ Sit down we aren’t done talking.” 
He looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, sitting back down slowly.
Jungkook keeps his head down as he wraps his blue scarf around his neck. Poor baby, but he shouldn’t of said it. “Please better yourself and talk it out with each-other. Im leaving.”
‘‘ Make it home safely.. Kookie.” You sigh once the door closes behind him. Now you’re here. Face to face with Park Jimin.
The same Jimin who cheated on you. The same Jimin you haven’t seen in a while. You take a few moments to take in his appearance. He seems to have re-gained his muscles that are peaking through his black, longsleeve shirt. His thighs are still thick, just like his luscious lips. Of course he changed his hair color to black. But who knows, he might change it again.
‘‘ You’ve been doing well?’‘ You say, voice low but enough for him to hear. You drop your eyes to your lap instead of keeping intact with his.
‘‘ Yes. But you have not. Im disappointed in you. Why are you doing this to yourself? Don’t do this because of me.”
‘‘ Jimin you don’t know the feeling. You don’t know how it feels to be left wondering why you weren’t good enough for someone. Why they had cheated on you. You don’t understand at all and wont ever.’‘ Your voice cracks on the last sentence and you an feel the lump in your throat become sore.
He bites his lip unsure of what to say next. Those words had hit him good inside. ‘‘ Im sorry. I truly am. But you know the reason why we had to end it. I fucked up bad and the media was making the scandal bigger and messier day by day. It was better to just call it off.’‘
One by one your tears start to drop. You nose begins it’s running trip but you sniffle it back up.
‘‘ You could of denied it. You know you could of made a statement and denied it. But you felt something for her didn’t you? Didn’t you?’‘ You semi-yell, sobs already starting to take it’s way over.
He bites his lip once again and ruffles his fingers through his hair, “ Baby..’’
You wipe your tears with your hands making your face even more puffy from the crying. “ I am jealous. I am I admit it Jimin. But do you know i have been suffering for one year and two months? I can’t sleep at night because im so used to your touch at night. I look at every couple in Seoul and think to myself, Dang they seem so happy. What’s their secret?’’
Jimin sits up, making eye contact with you with tears welling up into his eyes. It hurt’s you more than yourself to see him crying. It always has.
‘‘ Please don’t do that. Don’t do this to yourself. Please get help from someone to try and move on. Please. I don’t like to see or hear you make yourself suffer.’ He begs, getting up from his seat and coming towards you.
Jimin sits next to you, hesitantly opening his arms up to you. Would it be wrong to embrace him? He’s being too sincere, but thats what you want right? You decide to just do it, and lean into him only for him to pull you in closer into his chest.You just lay there crying and sobbing while he runs his fingers through your hair. You shouldn’t be doing this. He has a girlfriend. But it feels so right.
‘‘ What does she have that I don’t? Why couldn’t you love me the same way you love her “  You cry into his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears. 
You’d been waiting for this moment to just let it out. Let everything out.
‘’ Please don’t make this harder than what it is right now. Just try and forget me and move on. Please.” Hypocritcal. How does he expect you to get over him when he’s the one whos holding you so tight right now. Soon enough his sniffles join yours in harmony.
You raise your head up and look him deep into the eyes while you wipe away his tears, “ Don’t cry Jimin. I’m the one supposed to be crying over you. Don’t cry.’’
He takes your hand away from his face and wraps his fist ontop of yours, “Please promise me you will move on okay?’’
You shake your head no, “ I can’t make that promise.”
He doesn’t say anything. He gently cradles you in his arms and lifts you up. You don’t think to where he is going. You just close your eyes and grab onto his shirt firmly not wanting to let go.
Soon enough you feel the cold sheets over your bed. He covers you in the duvet and leans down to your forehead.  A kiss. Your fist is still locked onto his shirt in which he tries to pry it away but you don’t want to let him go. He sighs and raises his arms up as he takes off the shirt revealing an extra plain white wife beater under it. Taking your other hand, he wraps your hand into another fist onto the shirt to where both of your hands are holding onto it.
‘‘ Please better yourself for me baby. Sleep and eat well. “
Is all he says before turning off the lights and walking out your bedroom door.  You can hear him putting on and zipping up his heavy coat but you just don’t make a sound.
The apartment door clicks and beeps letting you know he’s already gone.
333 notes · View notes
drakenology · 3 years
Text
It’s Gonna Be A Long Night - Bakugo Katsuki
warnings! ⚠️ : smut, fluff, and swearing. also in the perspective of a fem!reader
summary: bakugo gets home from a longggg night of hero work; desperate to just crawl into his shared bed with his favorite person (hey, that’s you!) and ravish her until the night is done. he hasn’t been this hungry for you since the first time you guys did the deed!
Idk the word count for this. Sorry! I’m typing this on my phone anddd i’m kinda new to this stuff. Enjoy!
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God. Tonight was one of the most draining nights of Bakugo’s career as top hero. Five villian attacks in the same night as well as an attempted kidnapping. Not to mention the long and drawn out confrence meetings with the local police as well as the other pro heros in his agency.
As the night ended, Bakugo waved goodbye with the least amount of energy he could give as he turned in for the night, heading to his car to return home. He plopped down in the driver’s seat with an exasperated sigh as he reached in his pocket to grab his phone to let you know he was on the way home; shutting this door behind himself.
“Hey, you awake? If not I’m waking you up. I need you.” Bakugo texted with sleepy eyes. He waited for a little while to see if you’d respond before he pulled off. Soon enough he heard his phone ping.
“Yeah. Can’t sleep. Had a bad day? I can reheat your dinner if you want.” You texted back from your shared bed. You were up waiting for him to come home all night. He wasn’t supposed to be out this late anyways. That’s what happens when you’re engaged to a pro hero. The sleepless nights, those nights where one of you would be asleep and the other comes trudging in from a late shift; sometimes it can be overwhelming, but for him it was all worth it. You supported his dream of being a pro hero since the two of you were walking the halls of UA together.
“Nah. Not hungry for that. I’m tryna eat something else though.” Bakugo texted back with a sly smirk. He sat his phone on the dashboard and pulled out of the parking lot; making his way home.
Bakugo couldn’t wait to get home; driving in his all black sports car with haste through the city traffic. At least y/n would be there to greet him. He knew from the start of your relationship that you were his end game. He loved everything about you from your head down to your toes (which he secretly thinks are fucking adorable!). All he could think about is how you look when you’re undone; hair messy, little to no clothes on looking absolutely delicious in one of his big t-shirts. He could already smell your shampoo as he dreamt of you lying in bed waiting for him; his pants growing tight as he imagines your breasts bare and supple underneath one of his shirts. As he waits for the traffic light to turn green, he reaches for his phone to text you again.
“Gonna fuck the shit outta you when I get there, baby. I cant wait to see that ass naked.”
Meanwhile at home, you read the text from your favorite blonde with a goofy smile plastered on your face. Biting your lip in temptation, you jump out of bed to prep yourself for the long night of love-making ahead. It was a Friday night so he had all the time in the world to please your body for as long as he wished as weekends were his only days off. You walked towards your bathroom to take a quick shower before your fiancé made his way home. You stood in the hot shower and let out a small groan as the feeling of your muscles relaxing under the water slowly covered your body. Sighing, you wash up a little more before turning off the water and stepping out, running a towel over your wet face to dry it off. You walk back into your bedroom and pull out one of Bakugo’s favorite sets he loves to see you in. An orange lace bra with a black lacy thong with matching orange trimming on them. The first time you wore this for your fiancé he damn near ripped it off of you.
“Fuck, you look so sexy, princess. Move ‘em to the side. Don’t you dare take them off.” He said gesturing towards your sweet heat. He ate you out for what seemed like hours that night in his office and fucked you until you couldn’t remember your own name.
You softly smiled at the memory as you pulled a big white t-shirt (belonging to bakugo) over the sexy little number. Soon enough you heard the sound of your fiancé’s car alarm being activated .
He’s home. You practically run into the living room like a puppy greeting its owner. Standing right in front of the front door, you listen as the door clicks unlocked, your lower half feeling a familiar pressure. You missed him so much. Too much. The door opens as your spikey headed blond lover walks through, sitting his bag at the door and taking off his shoes. He looks down at you, his towering figure inching closer to your smaller frame. He says nothing, pulling you into his arms as if he hadn’t seen you in years when it had only been a few hours. You wrap your arms around his neck and embrace the man you love.
“Hey, shitty woman.” He says, peppering little kisses all over your face and neck.
He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his strong waist as he plants a passionate kiss on your lips. Your tongues danced together, massaging and exploring each other with love as he pulled away slowly as if he never wanted to stop. He catches your scent and he knows he’s finally home. With you.
“I’ve been missing you all day, Ka-chan. How was your day?” You ask him, still being carried by Bakugo as if you were a precious thing that was to never touch the ground.
“It’s better now that I’m home. Today did anything less than piss me off.” Katuski growled. He walked toward the kitchen and sat you down on the island. “I guess you’re gonna have to make it better, huh princess?”
You licked your lips in response; your pussy feeling as if a faucet had been turned on. You wanted him bad. And he wanted you too.
“It’s like you don’t own any of your own pajamas. Why’re you always prancing around in my shirts, huh? Is it ‘cause you know it fuckin’ turns me on seeing you like this? I bet you’re naked under here, aren’t you?” Bakugo groans lifting the shirt over your head to reveal the sexy lingerie you slipped on earlier. You smirk as he drinks in your entire body with his cheeks flushing red. God, he think you’re the most gorgeous thing walking. How’d he end up with someone as perfect as you? Didn’t matter. He had you right where he wanted you, from now until forever.
“Damn.” He said, biting his lip as he caressed your thighs, spreading them a bit to get a good look at you. You let out a subtle moan, your pussy growing wetter by the second as he touched you. It was like his hands knew which spots to touch to turn you on. He stood between your legs, hiking them up on his hips as he motions for you to lay back on the island. “I remember this damned set. You surprised me at work wearing nothing but this under that long coat I got you a couple Christmases back. You still look fuckin’ hot in it.” Bakugo said, looking you deep in your eyes. He doesn’t even know where to start with you. All he knows is that he’s gonna fuck you until all you can say is his name by the break of dawn.
“Katsuki~, I’m so wet for you. P-Please touch me.” You whined, the pressure in your panties becoming too much to bear. He smirks at you, running his hands up your body to pull out one of your breasts from your bra. You hiss a little at your exposed nipple being assaulted by the cool air of the kitchen.
“ ‘Gonna be a long fuckin’ night, baby. You oughta be more patient. You’re gonna be walkin with a limp for a week when I’m done with you.” Bakugo said, lightly pinching your hardened nipple, pulling it slightly as he watched you try and close your thighs for friction. Your lacy panties could barely contain your juices from freely flowing out of you, your moans softly filling Katsuki’s ears as you squirm underneath him.
“Been thinkin’ about your sexy ass all day, ya know.” He says, kissing a trail down to where you needed him most only to further tease you by rubbing your clit harshly with his thumb over your panties. You gasp as he pulled them slightly to the side, just enough to see your pussy glistening with your own juices.
“Heh.. you weren’t kiddin’. You must be dyin’ for me to fuck you, huh baby?” He was enjoying this way too much. You try grinding against his stilled thumb as he swatted your ass in protest, you yelping in response.
“Stay fuckin’ still. I’ll get to that needy little pussy in a second.” He groans. Trust me, this is killing him just as much as it’s killing you. He just wants to savor the moment. Even though he had a whole weekend to have you bent over or spread out for you to take his dick, the weekends go by so quickly. And the night had just begun. Bakugo lifts you up and carries you to your shared bedroom, practically throwing you on the bed as you giggle. He climbs on top of you, dipping down to kiss you again. You moan into the kiss as he slips his tongue in your mouth, lifting a knee up to lightly brush against his hard dick through his pants. He groans, extra sensitive from being hard from his car up until now.
“Damn brat, I told you keep still.” He says, wrapping a hand around your throat to choke you as he kissed you deeper, yanking off your panties. You squeal as he slips his hand down to rub your clit in agonizingly slow circles. You moan into his lips desperately, wanting so much more than this insufferable teasing. You needed him now. He pulls away to look at your face; flushed and absolutely gorgeous. Your hair was disheveled from the kissing, your breast still hanging out of your bra as your chest heaved from you breathing heavily after the heated kiss. He burned this image of you into the back of his mind. Reaching behind you, he unclasped your bra; drinking in your beautiful and supple breasts. He moans at the sight, taking a nipple into his mouth feverishly suckling on the exposed bud. You moan into the air as he slips in two of fingers into your needy hole.
“Like that shit, huh?” He asked, pulling away from your breast. You nodded desperately, moans filling the room and Bakugo’s ears to his delight. He smirked as he quickened his pace, feeling your pussy contract around his fingers. Any more of this and you’re gonna cum for sure. Your moans becoming more high pitched and audible by the second as he inched you closer to your climax. Just as you’re about to release, he stops his fingers to your dismay. You frown at him, the cutest face he’s ever seen.
“Aw, princess. Did ya really think I was gonna let you cum this soon?” He said, licking his fingers tasting your sweet juices. He kissed down your stomach, stopping just below your belly button. “Tell me what you want, baby.” He growls, kissing a little lower.
“Fuuuck, Ka-chan pleaseee. F-Fuck me. I need you.” you whine, almost crying out for him to fuck you already. He loves it when you beg for him, especially when you use his old nickname in bed while doing so. You’re a strong, bad ass hero out in the streets, but a needy little baby for him in the sheets. He smirks as he removed his pants and boxers, his thick and juicy length slapping against his stomach as he removed them. You practically drool at the sight, hungry for that dick to be inside you. He watches your face has he revealed his dick to you, loving the hunger in your eyes.
“You ready, babe?” He asked, tapping the tip of his dick against your aching pussy. You nod, so ready to take him as you spread your legs nice and wide for him. Bakugo bit his lip at the sight of your gorgeous pussy, not hesitating to slide himself inside with a gutteral grunt. You gasp, taking him all in with ease with your slick cunt.
“Fuck, baby, mmm you’re so fuckin’ wet for me.” He groans, leaning down into your neck as he slowly thrusts into you, allowing you to adjust to his length. You two haven’t fucked all week until now so you’re feeling extra tight around him. Finally, the feeling you’ve been waiting for all night. You moaned sinfully as you feel him stretch you out, grabbing hold of his head and pulling lightly on his hair. He always filled you up so nicely, the feeling of his veiny length sliding in and out of your drenched walls sending you into complete bliss. The world could be burning around you and you wouldn’t even notice or care. Bakugo leaving open mouth kisses all over your neck, sucking harshly at the flesh as he leaves love bites all over as his pace became hard and fast. You moan loudly as he pounds into you, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you claw at his back.
“Mmmm~, K-Kachan I-I love you.” You purr into his ear as he kisses you in response. You start to feel yourself coming undone under him, your legs shaking around him. “I-I’m gonna c-cum. Ughh I love you.” You repeated as he fucks you even harder. Sounds of skin slapping, and your wet pussy taking him in and out filled the room as your moans echo in Katsuki’s ears. He’s close too but you always cum first so he’s holding himself back.
“Shit baby. You’re so fuckin’ tight. Go head and cum for me. C’mon.” He coos, rubbing your clit in time with his strokes. You practically scream as you instantaneously come undone as he requested, Katsuki not letting up in his strokes as he has to cum too. Tears fill your eyes as you take him, not fully recovered from your first orgasm as you moan louder. Overstimulated, you tremble underneath him unable to cope.
“Ah- Fuck!” You scream, feeling yourself about to burst for him again. His name on your lips like a mantra, you claw at his back more, for sure leaving scratches. He growls, lifting your legs onto his shoulders, stroking you deeper and deeper. He watches your face twist and turn as you take him deeper, your face filled with pleasure and lust as he brutally pounded into you. Your breasts jiggle as he pounds you, you grabbing onto one for dear life as he assaults your pussy. You clench around him again, seeing stars in your eyes as you feel yourself nearing your second orgasm.
“That’s right, baby. Cum for me again. ‘M not fuckin done with you.” His brash voice hums as he leans in further, your legs pressed against your chest as he pounds into you, slow but hard. You can’t contain your moans as you scream and cry for him, your neighbors definitely will know his name without even meeting him. You moan from deep within your stomach as you clench hard around his dick, cumming again and leaving a mess all over your sheets. He groans as his hips stutter into yours, nearing his own release.
“Fuckkk princess. I’m gonna cum- shit!” He hissed, his strokes becoming sloppy. You bite your lip as you feel his dick throb inside you, loving the way his last few thrusts feel.
“Yes ‘Suki, cum inside me!” You whine, kissing him briefly as you felt his hot sticky cum coat your insides. Huffing and puffing, his head hangs back as he rides out his orgasm. He comes back to reality as he pulls himself out of you, watching his seed ooze out of your used pussy with pride. You wipe the sweat from your brow as you welcome him to snuggle with you, his head resting on your breasts as he kissed them and gave one a final squeeze. You two lay in silence, coming down from the highs of your orgasms as you both panted for air with exhaustion. Well, at least for you anyways. He looks at you with love in his eyes, caressing your cheek as he gazed into your eyes.
“I know I don’t say this to you often.. but I love you. Dumbass.” He laughs weakly as he kisses your breast. You smile as you move his hair away from his face.
“And I you, Kachan.” You say, kissing his forehead. Knowing Katuski for as long as you have, he doesn’t really articulate his feelings with words but more so with his actions. Tonight was a prime example of him showing his love and appreciation for you without having to say it. So to hear him say these words verbally means a lot to you.
“No seriously. Y/n I can’t wait to marry you in a few weeks. And then I’m gonna put a baby in you as soon as we get home. I can’t wait to see you all swollen, wabbling around with our baby inside you. I know we’re gonna make for kick ass parents. You’re the best thing that’s ever fuckin’ happened to me.” He said taking your hand and entertwining it with his. You giggle at the thought of being pregnant by the love of your life. It was truly something you both wanted for a long time and now that you’re both established heros, you can make it happen. You begin to close your eyes, sleep taking over your body as you feel Katsuki jump up from his position in bed.
“Whelp. Break time’s over. Bring your ass here.” He said smirking at you as he pulled you towards him for another round. You squealed as you laughed uncontrollably, kissing him once more. You glanced out of the window to see the sun peaking out the horizon. Damn. Dawn already. He really meant it when he said it was gonna be a long night.
AHHHHH! My first smut writing! I’m so happy omg. This was really fun to write and it only took a day. Thanks for reading! I gotta make a schedule for this stuff. See yall next time! 
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gale-gentlepenguin · 2 years
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ML What if
(What if the Butterfly miraculous was Also broken?)
-So I covered how different I felt things would be if the Peacock wasnt broken. But how about a case where the butterfly was also broken.
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-Gabriel wouldnt use the miraculous. Based on his knowledge of how a broken miraculous acted, with his wife now comatose. I cant say that he would risk that. Even as grief obsessed as he was, once he sees that the miraculous for the butterfly was broken, using those miraculous would be useless to him. Besides, he cant leave adrien without a parent, (no matter how absent he already is)
-So I assume 3 scenarios.
-1. Gabriel would focus on trying to find one of the OTHER magical power sources he had looked into (the eagle miraculous, the Prodigious, etc) Gabriel apparently had found a LOT of magical items over the years.
-2. Gabriel wouldnt use the broken miraculous, but Nathalie would. She already used the peacock miraculous in season 2. And Nathalie would probably convince Gabriel that its worth seeing if they could locate the two miraculous.
-3. Gabriel tricks someone else into using the miraculous. Perhaps con his sister in law, or an impressionable sociopath (like Lila or Felix)
So lets cover each of these
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Scenario 1: Prodigious.
Gabriel would have to wait a few months (considering this took place in between seasons 2 and 3). But for the most part getting the prodigious wouldnt be hard.
-The only person that knew about them was Fei. And with Gabriel's connection to Cash (that shady guy in the shanghai special) he could be sure to clear the area so he could swoop in and get the prodigious.
-Now the question would be if Gabriel could even use the prodigious. The answer is yea.
-With the pendent, all he then needs to do is embody the certain principals of each of the Renlings. Which Gabriel probably could in a way utilize all of them (probably would take much more time than Fei) but Gabriel is patient enough to wait 15 years.
-Gabriel would then become the new RenRen or since he is french Tout Por Un. (yes this is a reference)
-As Tout Por Un, Gabriel uses the dragon power to cause a commotion in Paris.
-Fu would see the magical influence (The kwami seemed to know about the prodigious, so my bet is Fu would know too) So he would likely try and fight it.
-But two differences. One, he would know it is MORE dangerous than the miraculous. and Two, he would realize he couldnt beat it alone.
-The problem is... this is MONTHS after what would have been origins. Adrien and Marinette would both be in very different headspaces.
-Without Gabriel being hawkmoth, he wouldnt have agreed to let adrien go to school. So Adrien would not be as confident, he would probably be more cooped up and sad.
-Marinette might not be as bad... since she has Alya. But she never stood up to Chloé herself, since she didnt get the ladybug miraculous. Marinette would likely be a shyer version of her canon self.
-Plus Fu probably wouldnt have run into them like he did at that time, so he would pick different chosen.
(And this is ASSUMING this happened before Feast)
-Also, would fu risk Tikki and Plagg? Since this doesnt involve akuma and just one big super bad guy. He would likely rely on the other heroes boxes.
-So Fu chooses a bunch of heroes and goes to fight Tout Por Un.
(And that in itself could be a fun au)
_____________________________________________________________
Scenario 2: Hawkmoth!Nathalie
-Nathalie couldnt just sit by and let Gabriel sit in misery. She took up the role of Hawkmoth. I imagine her approach was similar at first.
-Stoneheart still happens. Thus Origins happens.
-I can see a chunk of the first season being the same, but I imagine the akuma become deadlier and eventually, Nathalie figures out how to use the Butterfly to its fullest potential earlier on.
-She becomes Scarlet moth, with Gabriel as Catalyst. But Nathalie was burning away her life force.
-An event Like, Heroes day happens but much earlier. (Like season 1)
-This forces Fu to reveal himself to the heroes and give them a way to fight back
-Ladybug and Chat noir win the day. And Nathalie escapes but is clearly near her end.
-Gabriel sees that there is a guardian and that there are multiple miraculous. He decides to dig more deeply into this, and Nathalie probably ends up comatose.
_____________________________________________________________
Scenario 3: The Useful sacrifice.
Gabriel decides telling Amelie about the miraculous maybe a way to convince her to help get emilie back.
-Gabriel knew how similar his sister in law was to his wife. And with her husband passing away recently, along with her own sister, Gabriel could easily take advantage of her mindset.
-Felix would be hella sus of his uncles actions. (This results in Felix and Adrien living in agreste manor together and actually being close.)
-Felix is still a prick, but he doesnt hold any animosity towards adrien because of the events that occur.
-My bet is he would have her be Mayura (as some sort of way to reminisce about his wife, and the sentimonsters are clearly superior to akuma)
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amazingphilza · 3 years
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study buddies :: cc!multiple x reader
fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some headcanons if the mcyts were trying to help you do hw :D
cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade
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tommyinnit
i feel like he’s the type to be in a long discord call with you whilst you both try to finish your work
mans uses the screensharing feature like there’s no tomorrow
“y/n watch my stream on discord and help me guess the answers”
“tommy no! i haven’t even taken a film class before”
“your guess is good as mine”
“just cheat and google the answers!!!”
“fuck you”
he actually just wants your attention because he’s bored out of his mind doing homework
five minutes later of asking you to help him guess questions he’s like
“hey y/n”
“what now?”
“let’s play bedwars”
“oh my god shut up!!!”
if tommy has to speedrun something before a deadline, it is a whole different story tho; he will be so focused on completing that he won’t hear what you’re saying
if you’re struggling in math, you’re on your own
“math is shit, only numbers i need is my primes and youtube analytics” says tommy any time you complain about math
besides the fact he isn’t good at solving math problems, you can’t even read his handwriting if he did try showing you how to do a problem
“okay, y/n, it’s simple, just look” he says in his kareninnit voice and everything
you’d be like “is the variable a G or a 9??”
“fuck you that’s a 4!!!”
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tubbo
i don’t know if tubbo ever talked about school before but something about him makes me think he’s actually pretty good at math
like he can explain a few things when it comes to math / algebra
CODING GO BRRRR
no geometry or calculus though, anything past algebra will go bad
if tubbo is doing homework with you, he will definitely tune you out
“hey tubbo can you help me on this question?”
you don’t get a response until like 20 minutes later
“oh yeah, what was it y/n?”
like now you answer? i just got the answer myself after so long, forget you smh
“oh nothing tubbo, nevermind!”
but you’re still grumbling in your head because if he answered just a bit earlier you wouldn’t have gone through the work of finding the answer online
i can also imagine if you’re taking chemistry tubbo is like ;
“oh you’re taking chemistry? let’s make some bombs!” /lh
tubbo would definitely pull an all-nighter with you to finish your projects together
if you had a group project, he would make you do the writing part while he does the drawing part
“we definitely aced this project”
“of course we did, if i made you draw we would’ve ended up with stick figure diagrams”
“TUBBO. THE FUCK?”
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ranboo
okay i know ranboo said he isn’t a theatre or band kid (unless im wrong and forgetful) but i feel like he’d be somewhat educated in the topics nonetheless
half the time he’s great moral support, helping you stay motivated !
the other half is him making fun of you
“i cant believe you’re failing, that is so sad, can’t be me”
“it’s literally an honors class, ranboo! it’s supposed to be hard!!”
“taking an honors class willingly? also cant be me AHAHA”
i honestly can’t see ranboo going to school like i know he’s a minor and said he had zoom calls before and plays volleyball but like did i miss something? has he dropped out yet? like something about ranboo does not scream “student” /lh
besides that, i’m not sure what subject he would actually be good in,,, but something about nutrition/health sciences,, he knows a few things
don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he actually likes the subject but somehow remembers what he learned from the class
also gives me the type of energy of the type of person to take a first aid class to be a certified person to do cpr on someone just to kill time during his lunch breaks for a while or something
“i am a certified cpr person”
“my life in ranboo’s hands? oh god please no”
you two would probably joke about the ‘bad’ people in your classes or talk shit about your schools than actually doing anything homework related ngl AHAHAH
“you think your school is down bad? mine went back to campus full time after like 6 months into quarantine because they were running out of money”
“what the hell y/n? your school is a scam, drop out”
“arghhhh i knowww”
“i bet i make more money than your teachers combined AHAHAH”
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wilbur soot
he doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help for homework but can info dump you on very specific historical events + a bit of geography
i kinda see him as the person you can ask to proof read an essay for you and would help it improve immensely
who needs a thesaurus when you have vocabulary boy wilbur?
i dunno if it’s an american thing only or at all, but if/when you get to studying hamilton in your english class, he will get so fucking excited
“no wilbur it isn’t fun! imagine listening to lin-manuel miranda rap ‘alexander hamilton’ at the white house from like 2009 on repeat for over an hour whilst trying to write an analysis about it!! it was so distracting”
“well clearly someone has a personal problem with mr lin-manuel. if i were you, i’d be singing the whole thing”
is this last bit personal and complete spite from my freshman year english class? yes. i do not care? no. /hj
unrelated but i actually scribbled nice guy ballad lyrics and other songs on my english scratch papers in freshman year but anyway
probably isn’t the best person to be in a call to do homework with but wilbur doesn’t mind you ringing him occasionally sometimes
i dunno i can just see him easily get bored of the silence or something but also doesn’t want to bother you too much
but he is genuinely proud of you whenever you tell him you aced a big test you were studying for :D
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philza
this man’s bad advice is as bad as him trying to help you on any subject
he’s an old man so /hj
but like honestly, he hasn’t been at school for so long, phil can probably only help with the most basic things when it comes to school
if you have a wack teacher that makes you collect data through surveying people, phil would be one of the best people to ask! straightforward and won’t take too much of your time compared to other people ahem,,
statistics things ! sobs
if you ever complain a lot about your classes and contemplating dropping out and stuff, he will def scold you hard
“ugh phillllllllll can i just like,, never go to school again?”
“do not drop out”
“argh fine, i won’t just ‘cause philza minecraft said so”
honestly if you get a high score in a big test like your sats/gcse’s (whatever you’re taking from wherever you are) he’d probably order you a small meal or something to celebrate :D
like how phil bought ranboo bought him food to his house, it would start as a joke but when you get your test scores back he’s like “YOOO GOOD JOB Y/N”
expect a left meat pizza coming to your house .
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technoblade
like wilbur, techno is also helpful when it comes to history!
def knows a decent bit of literature too
besides that i don’t really see him being that helpful
even if he was supposed to be an english major
he will just get mad at the school system for teaching you useless things
“being in school is good but why do you need to know how to know if something is a triangle or not? i can obviously see with my eyes that it’s a triangle”
“i dunno! ask the person that made up geometry”
“just look at a kaleidoscope and be over with it, it isn’t that hard”
“that isn’t how it works—”
“bruhhh”
if you’re looking for the person to call while doing homework, he is not the person /lh
it’s either like 0 or 100 with techno
he can just completely not say anything and ignore you or go on a full rant about whatever class or homework you have
if you have an essay you need written, it will take a lot of bribing but he might take the opportunity if you are rich
“techno i’ll paypal you $10 please help me”
“no. i can make 10 times that amount in 5 minutes if i just started streaming right now”
“techno i don’t have that kind of money! pleaseee”
“no. instead of complaining, you can use that time to actually start you work”
“you’re the worst”
then you speedrun the essay and get an A just to spite him
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quirklessidiot · 3 years
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Title: blood son [oneshot; filthy rich sequel]  Pairing: millionare!sakusa kiyoomi x y/n [filthy capitalist au ft. kageyama tobio as your son] Genre: major angst ahead, thriller, yandere!au-ish
Synopsis: A full circle of madness finally comes to an end.
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Warnings: sexual themes, rape, yandere behaviorisms (just some obsessive and disturbing stuff), very dark themes, anxiety, trauma, depression, eating disorder, unwanted pregnancy/children (y/n hates her kid here), suicide,  gaslighting, and Y/N’s decent to madness
Notes: happy 800 due to a lot of uh people asking for a short sequel, here it is...for better understanding, please read filthy rich skskksks anyways onto the story…i cant write smut for shit sIKE also fuck men and women like this, if you see them chok’em and chunk’em in the basin.  yes tobio is ur bby boy here idk kageyama and sakusa have the same energy i just couldnt resist i swear sksks
Filthy rich // series masterlist
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A moan escapes your lips when you feel the hot liquid fill your hole, your expression is tantalizing and completely erotic. Something that he can’t seem to stop looking at, your body that was now a canvas of his marks, was a reminder that no one could have you. 
You're oblivious to it all, the things he did. The things he wanted to do to you, the dark thoughts, you were like a small rabbit in the den of a large wolf. Completely trusting, completely dumb and he’s taking advantage of it.
He stuffs and fills you up with his seed so that you’ll never leave him. 
He wants to breed you.
Your belly swelling with his children.
It was definitely a dream come true.
Your eyes snap back to reality as the bus stops in front of the new town, you had moved towns earlier since the town started to become a tourist destination. The idea of staying there would be too risky despite having the alias of Kageyama Miwa. You were still in hiding and you feared to even open the news despite it being eight years since you ran away.
“Okaasan, are we going to go down now?” a small voice asks.
You turn to find his son staring right at you, it had been a cruel reminder for him to look a lot like his father. You knew that he didn’t have any part in this, he was a victim just like you but you couldn’t help but be distant and not-so affectionate.
This was his kid.
His blood.
You couldn’t help but shrivel away.
“...Okaasan will just take her duffel bag on the overhead, just wait right behind me.” You say quietly. Tobio was a good boy, he was quiet and obedient. If the circumstances had been different, you’d adore him but every time you looked at him, all you saw was his wretched father and the unnamed things he did in the name of ‘love’.
To be honest, you didn’t know what else Sakusa did aside from trying to get you pregnant and holding you back from leaving. 
You didn’t even want to try to find out. If he was willing to go through such lengths to have you stay, it was more than enough reason to run away. You held onto your child’s hands as you made your way to your new home, it was smaller than the last one but this was alright.
It was clean and livable.
Tobio stays at the side, out of your way as you begin to fix up the house. The young boy isn’t social for his age towards his peers and you should be worried yet you can’t bring yourself to be, “Okaasan’s going to go to the grocery store, would you like anything?” you ask.
“Milk.”
“Alright, just stay here okay?”
He meekly nods as you awkwardly pat his head and  tie your roughly chopped hair in a tight ponytail, over the course of eight years, time has not been kind to you. You had grown unhealthily thin, probably lost some hair due to stress, and the bags underneath your eyes due to the lack of good sleep was evident.
You tell yourself that he isn’t looking for you now.
That he probably found a new plaything but you couldn’t help but look behind your shoulder every time. You didn’t even expect to get this far away, last you heard whilst you were at the station towards the last town eight years ago, you were being searched up and down by the police all over Tokyo.
You really thought you’d be found out and you feared for the worse but the farther you went, the less news reports you saw.
They probably thought you had died.
Which was good on your part that time because you’d rather be dead in a ditch than be caught up with a man like him again.
“...-Kusa Kiyoomi is expected to marry the daughter of Akiko Corp soon…”
You tense up at the mention of the very familiar name as you pass by the appliance store, shakily you turn to the tv screen to find a video of Sakusa Kiyoomi with a woman who had the same hair color as yours. Everything around you is muted now as his cold gaze fills the tv screen, your heart is thumping quick. 
He isn’t here.
He isn’t here.
“...It’s quite the love story of the century, don’t you think? After the disappearance of Kiyoomi’s beloved eight years ago, he met her a few years back and he seems to be doing well.” The tv anchor smiles on the screen as she talks to her co-host but inside you were shaking, what did happen to your missing person report? Curiosity starts to gnaw your insides as you head to the internet café before going to the grocery store.
You didn’t have the guts to look then but after seeing that report, you pull up on the secluded part of the internet café and search up your case. Your mouth dries up, the search was still on-going much to your surprise. There was even a website dedicated to it, “...Y/N L/N might be suffering from hysteria and psychological problems, please contact us immediately when you see her.”
Your eyes narrowed at the report as you shakily cup your mouth and choke back a laugh, that bastard really had the audacity to diagnose you with that when he was the one sick to the head.
Once again, the bile on your throat starts to pile up.
It still wasn’t safe.
You’d probably live your whole life on the run.
On the run with his son that scarily resembled him, how fucking cruel.
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Sakusa Kiyoomi’s eyes glaze over the small town in discontent, apparently his bride-to-be wanted to get married here and who was he to refuse? All he wanted to do was get this over with so her father can shut up.
“Kiyoomi-san.” a small dainty voice calls out, he turns to his side to find (h/c) staring right at him. Akiko Hideyo is the daughter of one of the most powerful businessmen in Tokyo, he met her at a function a few years ago.
The very first time he saw her was from behind, it was a rather scary resemblance that he had to stop himself from approaching her by calling your name yet when he started to talk to her and hear her dainty voice, he realizes that she’s not even like you at all.
She was gentle and dainty like a deer.
Albeit his little bunny was gentle when they got together sometimes, he always recalled how you were filled with spunk. How you weren’t even afraid to put him in his place and how you were all over the place but seem to look beautiful whilst doing so.
He always recalled wanting to control you yet you never seem to succumb to it.
It had been eleven years since you first met, eight years since you had disappeared without a single trace and Sakusa is stuck with some third-rate look alike for relief. Every time they fucked, it was always from behind. Hideyo thinks it’s just his preference but in reality, it was because her back had such strong resemblance to you and he’d imagine every time that it was you.
He misses the roughness, the high, the erotica. 
The only things you could provide.
It was never enough, it was only you, you, and you.
“...Have you decided what flavor you wanted? Komori-san mentioned that you liked vanilla.” his fiancé meekly says.
Hideyo was boring.
Sometimes he wonders if he’s just doing this because he has never seen someone closely resembling you, “Anything would be fine.” He replied in a clipped tone. As the car comes to a halt for a moment because of a large truck backing from a driveway, his attention shifted towards a young boy bouncing a volleyball against the pavement outside his window. There are scratches on his knee cap yet the boy had a blank look on his face, he was sort of reminded of himself when he was younger.
As he was about to look away, he sees a woman approach the young boy and bends down to his level to check the scratches.
The woman’s small figure isn’t even the least bit familiar yet his attention can’t seem to go away. He watches her tuck the strand of stray hair and he finally gets a good look and it feels like the world stops turning at how the woman scarily resembles you. Albeit the figure was smaller and the hair was another color and unevenly chopped short.
It was no mistake.
“Y/N.” He mumbles yet as he’s about to open the door, the car starts to move. Kiyoomi’s fist tightens as he uncharacteristically yells at the driver to stop the car, Hideyo jumps on the seat and before she could say anything else, the business mongrel is out of the car, running to where you stood.
Yet just like a ghost, you were gone and so was the little boy who had oddly resembled him.
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These days you had even a harder time sleeping. Maybe it was because there was a little leak on the ceiling, or better yet, maybe it was because the heater wasn’t working, or maybe it was because you were at a new place which made it harder to adjust.
You sat at the side with your expense book on hand, your gaze on his son who was peacefully asleep. Tobio was growing older soon and he needed to settle down at one place for high school and college. A part of yourself ventured deep and dark in your mind, the thought of leaving him at an orphanage seemed better now.
He had a fake last name anyways, the bastard wouldn’t be able to find him. 
You’d be doing this boy a favor since you never saw him as your kid and he’d be away from his very messy world.
Your thoughts are immediately disrupted when you hear a brief knock on the door. This made you tense up, it was late, Why would there be a need for visitors? Your son is quick to be awoken by the second knock and you immediately press your hand on his mouth and while your other finger is on your lips to signal him to keep quiet.
Another knock.
Tobio looks worried, it wasn’t his first time to see an episode from you but this time, something feels different. You're shaking more and you look like you’re about to pass out any moment. “Stay quiet.” you mouth as you crawl towards the door and press your ear on it to confirm who was on the other side, too afraid to even take a peak on the window.
Silence.
The only sound that could be heard was your thumping heart, Tobio had voluntarily placed a hand on his mouth to keep himself quiet.
Another knock.
You shut your eyes tight, praying to whatever god out there for this person to leave.
“...I don’t think anyone lives here.” You hear someone say on the other side, the voice sounded so familiar but you just couldn’t pinpoint who it was, this wasn’t Sakusa for sure,  “Are you sure that the information was right?”
Silence again.
“Hm.” The person hummed, knocking again, “Well, this place seems like a dead end. The landlady said that she’s not familiar with the tenants here so we could be wrong…”
The voice started to decrease and you feel yourself slowly starting to breathe easier. Tobio slowly put down his hand and there you saw it, the fear on his eyes. You breathe in and out, calming yourself, this place isn't safe anymore, “Tobio, take your bags. We’re leaving.” you only say.
You don’t even hesitate to leave despite it being the middle of the night.
Tobio is right in front of you as you go down your small apartment and you think everything is well, you really do yet luck didn’t seem to be on your side that night.
“...Y/N?”
A dreadfully familiar voice calls out, didn’t they leave? Why? why was he here?
“O-Okaasan.” Tobio mumbles, grabbing your hand and hiding behind you.
Your head hurts, you wanted to just be selfish and leave Tobio here with this man, his father, the wretched, vile creature who had betrayed you. You wanted to run.
You didn’t feel safe.
Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t make you feel safe.
“Y/N…” He repeats, slowly approaching you, “It’s me, bunny.”
Oh, how you hated that pet name. It sounded like you were his plaything, like you could never escape from his set-up. Before you could say anything else, he invades your personal space once again and envelopes you in a very,very tight hug.
“I’ve missed you so, so much.” He whispers on your ear and your shivering, not from pleasure but from fear, “Shh, it’s alright. I found you. It must’ve been hard to be alone out here.”
Get away.
Get away.
“Get the fuck away from me.” You yell, pushing him off of you as you stagger away from him. Tobio remains behind you, completely shaking.
“Now, Y/N-” he tries to shush you, “We should go home now, you’ve spent so much time away from me but I understand, you were probably just scared to tell me you were pregnant, right?” 
He cups the right side of your face and places a chaste kiss on your temple, tears are threatening to spill as you realize that this was all over. You couldn’t escape now, this lunatic wouldn’t let you have at it.
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The soft and plush bed is completely foreign to your back, Kiyoomi had you separated from Tobio because apparently you were still too ‘unstable’. It made you mentally scoff, between the both of you, he was the unstable one.
You wondered if they started to feed the small boy lies about you, Kiyoomi definitely milked it out to the press for sure. When he had found you, not only were your friends and family in a frenzy, the media was having a field day too. He had broken off the engagement and he used your ‘mental illness’ card on them and it worked.
Another story was weaved on papers, a love that transcended through time.
You let out a low sardonic laugh.
Mental Illness, you wondered if this could be a ploy for a suicide. After all, you’d rather be face first on the pavement than stay here with a son about to be fed on lies and a crazy bastard who sleeps next to you at night.
You stare out your window, the curtains were drawn as you looked at the free birds.
How envious.
“Y/N?” Kiyoomi comes in, a food tray in hand, “It’s time for dinner.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Y/N it’s been two days, all you ate was an apple-”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Y/N, our son-”
“He was never my son.” You harshly snapback, your voice sharp, “He’s yours through and through, a fucking incarnate of you and a curse. He’s not mine. He never will be.”
You suddenly feel the presence of the small boy behind the door and there stands his boy, staring right at your eyes yet you feel nothing for him. You never felt anything for him. The moment they placed him on your arms to nurse, there was no joy nor light.
All he brought was a painful reminder.
Kiyoomi places the tray to the side and closes the door behind him, Tobio’s blank gaze still on you, “...Those aren’t words a child is supposed to hear, Y/N. Especially ours…” he inches closer and you clench your fist tightly and he places his hand on your neck and lightly holds it. 
You aren’t scared of him anymore, the nicest thing this guy could do was kill you, really.
“Maybe we should have a girl this time, hm?” his hand trails upwards to softly caress the side of your face.
You’re immediately frozen by his sudden choice of words, no, no-
“Maybe you’ll learn to love Tobio even more when you’re pregnant with another of mine-” before he could finish what he was about to say, you raise a hand and slap him right at his face, it must’ve been hard since it left a mark, “Ah, Y/N. I didn’t know you still liked it rough-”
“D-Don’t, I-I can’t get pregnant.” You're shaking this time as you try to come up with a lie, “I-I can’t…”
“Oh?” He tilts his head, “Why not?”
“I’ll die.” You lied, “When I had Tobio I almost died, my body couldn’t handle it. T-The doctor had said that if I were to have another, I’d die…”
The lie didn’t save you that moment, really. He has become an expert at detecting your lies so instead of a reply, he harshly places his lips on yours and despite protests, he just pins you down.
He’s harsh on you that night, spilling and stuffing you with his cum, whispering that you’ll have it all and that you’d be his everything but all you could do was let a small hiccup escape your lips as you tried to hold back your cries.
‘Someone, anyone, please.’ you pleaded internally.
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You don’t see Tobio until a week later, the boy has grown a tad bit chubbier and is adorned with expensive clothes. Sakusa, on the other hand, has been force-feeding you to the point where you threw up right after meals (secretly, of course) 
You sit down at the couch as your son blinks at you, “...I’m sorry.” He breaks the silence and you shut your eyes tight as you recalled the harsh words he heard last week.
“I’m sorry too, Tobio.” you could only reply because genuinely, you did feel like you went too far this time. He didn’t choose to be born, a part of you should’ve saved him the misery and left him at the orphanage that time, “Do you hate me?” you ask.
“No.”
“You should.” You say quietly, “You should hate your otosan too.”
Tobio remains quiet at your words.
“When you grow older, don’t end up like him. don’t end up like us. forget us when you have the chance.”
“Okay.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“Good and If you ever get the chance to leave, promise me that you get out and don’t look back.”
Tobio may have been eight years old that time but he knows fear when he sees it and he knows promises aren’t meant to be broken. He remembers those words well because it was the last long conversation he has with you. 
The month of December rolls by and it’s cold, you’ve given up fighting back at this point. Your glassy eyes are directed to the window, not even wanting to look down at your bulging stomach. Kiyoomi doesn’t even need to tell you twice to not leave the house, you decide upon yourself to just stay at your room on bed the whole time.
You wonder, just how high is it from up here? Would it hurt?
“Y/N?” a dreadful voice calls out.
“Hm.” 
“You haven’t gone out of our room in two months. You haven’t even seen Tobio.” Sakusa points out, you were like a obedient doll now. So lifeless, so still, you wished he’d discard you already.
“I might say something again, I don’t want to bother.” You replied truthfully, gaze still avoiding his.
The raven-haired man starts to caress your plump face, you had grown chubbier since the beginning of your pregnancy, he couldn’t be anymore happier to finally be there for you.
This was perfect.
You were finally his.
You weren’t letting go.
“...Don’t you ever regret it?” You finally ask, turning to him, your blank eyes staring at his rather deranged ones, the eyes that you once loved was now just a reminder of your resentful life.
“Which one?” He asks, inching in closer to kiss your neck, your collarbone. You let out a meek sigh as you shut your eyes and internally prayed for this to be over quickly as he removes your ribbon that held your flimsy nightgown together.
“You killed people.” You uttered, “Took my life away, don’t you regret it?”
“Why would I?”
Right, how could a monster like him have such empathy? You feel his cold fingers brush against your folds, trying to stimulate it.
Everything except your body screamed no but you were just too powerless now. You wondered, how could you even end this all? Was jumping out the window the only solution now?
“...Right...” You let out a soft painful moan as he dips his finger inside. You’re under the idea that despite this happening countless of times, you’re body would be numb to it all yet each time it happens, it pains you even more,  “You even had to kill your ex-fiancé’s father for us to get married.”
You had come to realize just how deep his obsession was, the man was willing to kill to anyone who got in the way of your ‘love’. You remembered finding out about your ex-chief one night, about how he had chopped off his fingers and left him to bleed dry in the alleyway for the rats to feast on.
You remembered when a news came up that his supposedly future-father-in-law had died in a violent explosion during breakfast time and how he was nonchalant about it.
“...It’s all for you, Y/N.” He implores as he kissed your thighs and continue to stimulate your now wet folds, “All for you, Tobio, and my new little girl.”
“You’re sick.”
“Mhm. You smell good, I should continue using the soap from awhile ago when I clean you, right?” he hummed, ignoring what you had just said as he dipped his head in and take a kitten lick on your sex. You let out a small cry as your body betrayed you.
Your prayers for today are unheard yet again.
“...Y/N, you barely come out of your room these days.” Komori exclaimed, it turns out the visitor from last time who knocked on your door was him and as much as you wanted to knock his teeth out, you decide not to because you don’t see the point in doing violence these days.
“I’m tired.”
“Yeah, pregnancy does take a toll on your body.” He nods in agreement, it seemed like this was a casual thing for him, like you just weren’t repeatedly rape or mentally abused by his cousin, “Tobio certainly takes after his father, don’t you think?”
Your blood runs cold at the mention of the little boy, you had small hope for him either ways so you didn’t exactly cared for him anymore.
“I suppose so.” 
“You’ve gotten boring these days, Y/N.” Komori plainly pointed out, “It’s a wonder how my cousin gets to stick around ya. No offense.”
“None taken.”
Komori’s eyes narrowed at your hollowed response, you were so ungrateful. Here his cousin was, treating you with such delicateness and with all the attention that the other women wanted but you looked anything but happy about it.
If this was Hideko, she’d be elated.
But no, he had to be stuck with an ungrateful pompous bitch like you.
“How high up are we, Komori-san?” you suddenly ask.
He blinks at the rather weird question, “Fifty floors.”
“Hm.” You hummed, “That certainly is high.”
Komori would regret answering that question very soon though.
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When the winter dawned upon a new year and you finally snap, you decide to answer your own prayers and opt to salvage yourself from this madness and cruelty once and for all.
Sakusa Tobio is nine years old when you, his mother, six months pregnant, jumped out the bedroom window from a fifty-foot story building two months into the new year. Your face is flat on the pavement and completely unrecognizable, the last conversation you both had replays on his head like a broken record through the years and only when he’s old enough that he realizes that he was no one’s son. 
His okaasan didn’t loved him nor did he want to be associated with his father for all he did was bring pain and disgust.
The boy is eighteen, fresh out of the academy, right in front of his baby sister’s and your mausoleum. He makes it a habit to visit you both a day before your death anniversary,  not wanting to be in the same room as his father yet this year he makes an exception.
Recently, he had turned over some evidence and his own testimony about what his father had been doing. Everything, from illegal works to the people he killed to your tragic end. It’s enough to file a case and have him set to jail for life, even his fancy lawyers couldn’t defend him. 
His lips sting because his Uncle Komori had punched him in the face and called him an ungrateful bastard like you but it was alright.
It was all over.
He plans to change his name back to Kageyama Tobio (the haux name you had given him when you were on the run) right after all the fiasco, it’s a kind name and the first name you had given him, he likes to think that this was also a gift from you that time, a new beginning straying away from you and his father's cruel ties. He had also felt that it was too unkind for him to use your last name despite his grandparents' persistence (he was after all, conceived through forceful means).
And although he wanted to hate you for those words you said that time when he was eight. He couldn’t really bring himself to after hearing what you had to go through, you were a victim. He couldn’t dare imagine what his father did to you during the last few months leading to your death.
Yet, right now. It was finished.
You could rest now.
“I did it, Y/N-san.” He mumbles as he bows down. As he got older, he has also foregone the idea of calling you by the name you loathed and shriveled away from, “I got out and I didn’t look back. Thank you for everything.”
Kageyama Tobio never visits you right after again, as promised.
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shoutoismybaby · 3 years
Text
A Pink Promise (BakuXReader)
Summary: You had a tradition with bakugou. A tradition where every time you had to leave each other you would wrap your pinky’s together in a promise that you would see the other again. But one night after an argument you storm out of the apartment without your typical goodbye, and bakugou gets a call that makes him question if he will ever see you alive again
WARNING: Angst, but it ends in fluff. Cursing, injury, car accident, fighting, and crying
Hi. I’m just gonna leave this here😘
***
“I should probably head home,” You shifted from one foot to another, “my dad will get worried if I’m late…”
“Alright, bye loser.” You giggled at Bakugous response and held out your hand, pinky extended.
“So, you’ll pick me up at two?” You asked, pausing at the confused look on his face. “What?”
“What are you doing?” Bakugou asked, he was staring at your hand. You laughed once more and ignored his glare,
“Oh, it's for a pinky promise.” You explained,
“You need me to pinky promise that I’ll take you on a date tomorrow?” His brows only became more furrowed, Katsuki knew you were a little weird. The simplest things seemed to make you smile, but that's what he loved about you. He wondered if you seriously wanted him to pinky promise you that he would take you out, right after he just asked you to be his girlfriend. Yeah, he was an asshole. But not to that extent.
“No, um. It’s a promise that you’ll see me again.” You blushed, it was a habit you had picked up from your parents. They always used a pinky promise in place of a goodbye kiss. You were about to let your hand drop when looped his pinky with yours.
“Okay, I’ll be at your house at two. You better be ready.” He gave your finger a tight squeeze before letting it go. He then turned around and began walking away from you.
“I won't!” You promised, watching him walk away for a couple of seconds before you turned to head home.
From that day on, each time you went to say goodbye, a pinky promise accompanied it. Even Bakugou caught onto the habit quickly, despite the fact that his friends would often tease him for it. Yeah, he was whipped for you. He knew it. Your peers knew it. Even your uncle's dog knew it. But all that mattered to him was that you were happy. And you were for a while.
It was when you had graduated for UA and moved into an apartment together that problems started to arise. Katsuki got overly jealous of every person you got close to, and you were always exhausted after work. Hero's work was stressful on both of you, only contributing to the short temper your boyfriend seemed to have. Fights would happen over the smallest of things, such as chores not being done, or something being left out where it didn't belong.
Of course, you couldn't say that you were innocent, you did start a fair amount of fights. Eventually, though, it hit a point that you could barely handle it anymore. Even when you tried to calm him down, to just talk through things, it would always end in screams and slammed doors.
And soon enough, you hit your limit.
“God, don’t you ever shut up!?” You screamed, just having gotten home from work. Why were you already fighting with him? You hadn't even gotten the chance to take off your shoes. His face only seemed to get more contorted, matching the amount of anger he felt. Why was he always directing it at you? “I just got home from work, cant you give me a fucking break!”
“Maybe you’d get home earlier if you were any good at what you do!” He argued, of course, he would go on the offense.
“What’s that supposed to mean!?” You prayed that he would back down.
“I'm just saying that if you weren't such a shitty hero, maybe you would get home at a decent time and actually-” That was your breaking point.
“Just because you’ll never be good enough to be the number 1 hero, doesn't mean you can take it out on me!” You shut him up pretty fast. His face paled and eyes widened, but you could barely notice past the high you were on. “I’m sick and tired of coming home to someone who only wants to fight with me! Have you ever thought that maybe I take extra shifts to avoid seeing you?”
You were crying now, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. You were so mad. How could he tell you that he loved you and then tell you something like that?
Katsuki seemed frozen, you couldn't see the guilt flood his body. You couldn't hear the thoughts whirring in his head. You couldn't feel his regret. You could only feel anger.
You could only feel your heart ripping in two, the tears scratching their way to your eyes. Everything hurt. You felt like a gust of wind could cause your body to fall apart. Yet, at the same time, you felt numb. Maybe that was the anger. The desperation. The hurt. Maybe that was what was protecting your fragile self.
You had never felt so broken and vulnerable before.
“I hate you Bakugou!” He was supposed to be the one to protect you, love you, care for you. So why was he the one tearing you apart?
If it hadn't already, his heart stopped. You hadn't called him by his last name since you got together.
“(Y/n)-” His hand reached out to you. All he wanted to do right then was apologize to you, and hold you close until you forgave him. But you couldn't do that. Not again. Not then,
“Don't touch me!” Your voice sounded so broken as you held one of your wrists in your other hand. “Don't-” A shuddering breath made its way through your throat. You reached for your coat and began to pull it on.
“(Y/n), please don't. I'm sorry-”
“I don't want to see you again,” You closed your eyes tight and sighed, turning to the door. He didn't say anything else, so you left.
***
It was a couple of seconds before his arm returned to his side, and a couple of minutes more before he stopped standing there. Choosing to sit instead. He wasn’t sure why. Why he didn’t just move to the couch. Why some part of him was convinced that you would just walk back in, and let him apologize. Let him fix everything.
But he knew you wouldn't. Even more, he knew he didn’t deserve it.
It was an hour before he finally moved, and it was only to get to his ringing phone. All he could do at that moment was wish it was you.
Wish it was about you.
Oh, how he came to wish he could take back that wish.
“(y/n), I'm sorry-”
“Hello?” It wasn't your voice on the phone, Bakugou considered hanging up, but had a feeling that he shouldn't.
“Who is this?” He asked gruffly, he just wanted you back in his arms. He didn't care about anything else.
“My name is Haru, I work for the Musutafu hospital. Your number is on the emergency contact list of (Y/n) (L/n). Could you come down to the hospital? It's urgent.”
Bakugou didn't think that his heart would break anymore that night. But here he was, tearing up on the phone. Begging and screaming at the poor nurse to tell him what was going on, knowing full well she couldn't. Stupid patient confidentiality.
He had never pulled on his shoes and coat faster, not taking the time to realise his shoes did not match. He knew it was illegal to use his quirk at the moment, but he didn’t care. He launched himself into the air and towards the hospital, only slowing down in order to land painfully in front of the doors. But he didn't care about how he felt. Nor did he care about the immediate attention that was placed on him from everyone around.
“Is that Ground Zero?”
“I’ve never seen him without his hero suit on before”
“Look at him. He looks like a mess.”
“Is he okay?”
The hospital was busy when he walked inside, covered in sweat from both the bodily exertion and anxiety. His heart was racing and the only thing keeping him from fainting was the fact that he needed to see you. How had you already ended up in the hospital? You had only just left his house-
But the clock on the wall corrected him, it had been a few hours. His stomach churned as he walked up to the receptionist's desk,
“Where’s (Y/n)?” He growled out, beginning to get restless. Now that some people knew who he was, the paparazzi was sure to show up. And that was the last thing either of you needed.
“Name, ID, Relationship to the patient?” The woman's calm demeanor was in direct contrast to the storm brewing in Bakugou.
“Bakugou Katsuki, I’m (Y/n) (L/n)’s boyfriend.” He said as he dug out his wallet, suddenly remembering something you had told him once when you had to visit him in the hospital after a villain encounter went sideways. “But we’ve lived together for over three years, we have a common law marriage.”
He knew that this was the only way he was going to be able to see you, but it wasn’t like he was lying. The receptionist squinted at him before taking his ID and looking it over.
“Alright, if you can state the name of the patient you are visiting for me again I can get you the guest pass and their room number.”
***
Your door slammed open, and you strained your eyes trying to see. The brace around your neck stops you from properly looking over. It didn’t take long to realise who it was when you heard the strangled whine. You recognized it as Katsuki right away. How could you not?
You had been with him for years, through the ups, the downs, and the very far downs that were the past year. You had held him tightly when those noises had escaped him in the past and you shielded him from the world when he was no longer able to keep up his facade.
You could only imagine how broken he looked now, you just wanted to hold him again and protect him from everything.
Until you remembered your last conversation, but then you just felt conflicted. You were mad at him. You were so angry.
But you were scared, so scared.
After all your years as a pro hero, and it was a truck that fucked you up the most. Each breath was painful, and maybe if your mind wasn’t so cloudy on pain meds, you would be able to remember how many ribs the doctor told you were broken, or which leg. Or if you were going to live. God, were you scared.
Footsteps brought you out of your thoughts, focusing your eyes to the man who stood in front of you. He looked like a boy now, so broken and collapsed in on himself.
“(Y/n),” sounded broken.
His brows were furrowed, mouth deep set in a scowl. But you knew better. You saw the tears stains on his cheeks. The redness of his eyes. His coat was inside out. You knew his face was one of worry. Fear.
You remembered the first time you saw him look like that. The first time he opened himself up to be so vulnerable to you. It was sometime after All Might had fallen, and the guilt had been eating him up. Not many other people noticed the way his thoughts were eating him up inside. But you did.
You saw the light in his eyes dim. The dark bags began to form and the way his posture fell. His confidence was falling no matter how much he screamed to keep up his image.
“K-kat-suk-i” You struggled to speak, your voice raspy. Like you hadn’t drank anything in years. Tears bubbled in his eyes, and, somehow that was more painful than when you first woke up. In the middle of the street, there had been a young woman kneeling over you, screaming into her phone. You couldn't hear her though, only the ringing in your ear.
You couldn't remember right before you got hit, it was fuzzy. Though the doctor told you it was normal. You wondered if maybe you were just running without looking. Or if tears clouded your vision. Or maybe, if it hadn't been your fault at all.
“Shit,” The love of your life began to scrub his face with his fists, much like he did the night you found him in the dorms kitchen. Crying over a late night snack as his fists clenched the edge of the counter, struggling to hold himself together.
No matter how much he tried to cover his face after you made your presence known, you could see the tears as they fell to the floor. You could hear his strangled whimpers. And even though you knew the possible consequences, you held his shaking body in your arms. You let him be vulnerable and didn’t say a word.
It was that day that you began to see Bakugou as he truly was. An Asshole? Yes, of course. But also a boy who cared way too much, who held himself to impossible standards, and who never really had a proper support system. You decided to be his support that day, and soon after you became his girlfriend too.
“They, they told me what happened to you,” you watched as little pops of frustration came out of his fists. “And I couldn't help but think that it’s my fault.”
“No,” you wanted to protest, but you instead had your breath hitched in your throat. The desire of water coming to be the very forefront of your thoughts as you reached out your hands, desperate for the hydration that would let you continue. Bakugou, of course noticed and his crimson eyes quickly spotte the glass of water on your nightstand. Once the cool glass brushed against your fingers, you brought it to your lips and drank as if you hadn’t seen a liquid in days.
“Just, listen okay? I… Ive been taking out my work stress on you, I’ve been rude and condesending and just fucking nit picky. You didn’t deserve any of that, especially what I said earlier. It was fucking uncalled for and so far from the truth.” The determination in his gaze was evident, it was the same gleam in his eyes he got whenever he set his mind to something. You adored that look from him.
“I know Katsuki, I know you don’t really think that.” You muttered, unsure of what to say. Were you just supposed to forgive his, what seemed to be, apology? You had no idea how you felt. Your head hurt along with the rest of your body and your throat was still parched despite downing your water seconds ago.
“It doesnt matter, you need to know what I do think. I think youre an incredibly strong woman. And a fucking resilient, relentless one at that. Can’t get you off my shit for two seconds. But I love that about you, you know? I know I’ve been a dick recently but I really do love you. I asmire you too, your work ethic. You never give up and thats what makes you one of the best heroes out there, fuck what the polls say.” He sniffled and quickly ran a closed fist under his nose. “You dont deserve what I’ve been putting you through lately… and I’m fucking sorry. You’re the most important person in my life and you deserve better than the asshole you’ve been getting.”
“You’ve always been an asshole.” You used your glass to hide the smirk on your face that only grew bigger as bakugou couldn't help himself from blowing up.
“I- are you kidding!? I’m trying to fucking apologize here and THATS what you choose to say!?” The pops of his quirk created a melody with the raspy laughs that left your mouth.
“Yeah,” your chuckling continued as bakugou's face softened. Eyes like cooling embers as they dusted across your figure. You tried to ignore that look, it always made your chest swell uncomfortably. Nothing could make you tear up more than the love bakugou had for you.
“Shitty woman,” he sat himself down in the chair besides your bed and took the now empty glass from your hands, “I just want you to know that when- if, you come home… that things are going to be better. I don't ever want to make you feel like you have to avoid me ever again. I want you to feel safe around me. And I swear that I’m going to put you above my hero work from now on-“
“No, Katsuki, I’m sorry I said that. I shouldn’t have said that you can't become the number one hero, it's not true.” You shook your head, the shame being too painful to look anywhere but your hands. Balled in fists on your lap before they were gently tugged into his own. You reluctantly met his eyes, admiring the fire that burned in them.
“This has nothing to fucking do with that, okay? I’m not giving up on being the number one, I’m just going to start working harder to be better for you at the same time. And anyone who thinks I can’t do it is a dumb bitch.”
“God can your ego get Any bigger?” A smile stretched across your face as you began laughing again when he simply shrugged. It hurt like a bitch, the sharp pain making your eyes water, but you just loved everything about the angry man in front of you. Even when he began yelling at you to stop laughing before you hurt yourself even more. It took awhile for you to calm down, and even longer to get bakugou to stop glaring at you for hurting yourself.
“I love you,” he said after a moment of silence, his rough thumbs rubbing circles into the meat of your hand.
“I know.” You sighed, basking in the silence that lasted only a few seconds before bakugou ripped his hands from yours.
“SAY IT BACK!”
***
I hope you enjoyed!
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