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axelsagewrites · 3 months

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James Potter*Misunderstandings

Pairing: James Potter x f!reader

Word count: 1661

Can be read as a part two to heroic deed here

Warnings: none

Masterlist here

Being shy and friends with James Potter was already a struggle since he was anything but however you had a new issue now; you’d fallen heads over heels for him. you didn’t need a man to save you but ever since James defended you from those bullies it was hard not to like him.

Before when you walked through corridors you would get constantly shoulder checked and shoved but James had no issues shoving back and soon you found yourself being able to walk the halls without almost getting tackled.

James had also introduced you to the marauders who thankfully weren’t as intimidating as you first thought. Maybe it was because of how tall Remus was or the ladies’ man reputation Sirius had but you didn’t expect to be in a heated debate over breakfast over which magical creature would be the best at quidditch.

“You cannot be serious mate! How would a phoenix even hold a snitch?”

“Oh yeah cause a hippogriff has great dexterity!”

Remus and Sirius continued to bicker as you silently ate your breakfast. Remus was across from you next to Peter while James was sat next to you, Sirius next to him. Peter had ‘borrowed’ Remus’s homework while he was distracted, though you weren’t convincing Sirius didn’t start this conversation as a decoy, while James just laughed at his two idiot friends.

“You, okay?” he whispered, snapping you from your daze.

Shit you’d been caught staring, quickly say something, you mentally cursed yourself, “Yeah um just not a morning problem,”

“Alright sunshine I’ll leave you to daydream,” James laughed, your skin heating up at his words while he tried to buy into the argument.

You and Remus both shared your first class of the day so after the squabbling stopped you both set off to the third floor. “You ever gonna tell him you like him?” Remus asked as if he was asking for the time.

“What? Like who?” you stuttered but Remus just gave you a knowing look, “How did you know?” you sighed.

Remus snorted, a grin playing his lips, “Cmon seriously? yous hang out all the time. you should just ask him out,” he shrugged and your eyes basically bulged out your skull.

“I cant do that. He doesn’t like me like that-“

“Has he ever told you that?” he said making you stop in your tracks.

Remus eventually paused, staring at the confused look on your face, “Do you know something I don’t know?”

Remus sighed, “I know the last girl James asked out embarrassed him in front of the whole common room, which to be fair was his fault for asking so loudly,” Remus said, cringing at the memory of James proclaiming his love for lily in front of everyone and getting told a very quick no. hell even you had heard of the story, “and now he doesn’t talk about that shit anymore but if you ask me I think he does. He never shuts up about you,” Remus said, half rolling his eyes, “No offence,”

“None taken,”

All you could really think about all day was what Remus had said. James even had to ask if you were okay over dinner because how ‘zoned out’ you had been. “I need to return some books to the library,” you said, deciding to end your misery but James didn’t get the memo.

“I’ll come with. See ya,” he said, nodding to the guys and instantly getting up to follow you.

You tried your best to make small talk, but you could feel your palms getting sweatier with each word. After leaving the library you decided to finally do something about it, “Hey you busy this Saturday?” you asked, trying your best not to stutter.

“Eh I don’t think so. No detentions yet at least,” he joked, “how come?”

“Was just wondering if you’d wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?” you said, your cheeks instantly heating up like crazy.

The smile of James face though made your own heart skip, “Yeah sure. I’ll say to the guys yeah?” and just like that it sunk instantly.

“Oh yeah sure totally,”

To say your confidence had been knocked was an understatement and the whole walk down to Hogsmeade you were hanging at the back of the group trying not to show how much you were internally sulking. Yous went to honey dukes first, picking up a few bits and bobs all while Remus was giving you a sympathetic smile and James was none the wiser.

“He’s just clueless you know,” Remus whispered to you at the shelves while James went up to the till, “He probably didn’t even realise you were asking him out,”

“Or maybe he just didn’t wanna hurt my feelings,” you mumbled, instantly shutting up when James walked back. “Watcha get?”

“Chocolate frogs, of course. got you one too here,” he said passing you the frogs while Remus gave you a ‘see? told you so’ look.

Soon you all ended up piling into a booth at the three broom sticks. Remus and Peter were on one side while you, James, and Sirius squeezed into the other. Luckily you got to be on the side not against the wall however because of the tight squeeze you were pressed right into James side. There was nothing you could’ve done though, there wasn’t an empty seat in the place.

“You’d think for a magical pub they could make more seats,” Sirius scoffed as he crammed himself against the wall. “Its your turn for first round Peter,” he said.

Peter rolled his eyes, “Do you keep tabs or something?”

“Yes,” Sirius said, and it honestly wouldn’t shock you if he had it all written down in a notebook. “I’ll take a butterbeer,”

When Peter asked you what you wanted you offered to go with him to help him carry it but also as an excuse to get away from James. Peter however was glad to accept the help.

Meanwhile Remus was slapping James across the head as you walked out of sight. “You dumbass,”

“What?!” James squeaked, rubbing his head, “and ow! By the way,”

“This was supposed to be a date,” Remus half hissed making Sirius look between the two.

“Since when did you do go out?”

“We don’t,” James rolled his eyes, “what are you on about? She invited us all to come here?”

Even Sirius dropped his head into his hand at this point, “Think about what she said,” Remus sighed, “Did she say ‘you guys’ or ‘you’?”

James head tilted as he thought before a small ‘oh’ came from his lips followed by a very annoyed, “fuck!” while Remus and Sirius groaned at their friends obliviousness, “What do I do now? Should yous leave or-“

“No that just makes it weird,”

“Then what do I do?!”

“Shut up since she’s walking back here,” Sirius said, jabbing his elbow into his ribs, “Hey guys!” he said, way louder and happier than normal making both you and Peter share a concerned look.

James spent the rest of the afternoon beating himself up. He’d liked you from the first day he met you, hating that he hadn’t met you sooner and now he’d gone and fucked it up. He was distracted the rest of the day and while the group was walking back to the grounds he found himself hanging back a bit.

You noticed and decided to drop back as well, “Hey you okay?” you asked, genuine concern on your face making James’s heart melt.

“Can I ask you something?” he said giving you an odd sense of De Ja Vu, “See the other day did you mean that you wanted us all to go or like just us?” he said, voice trailing off when you looked away.

What he hadn’t expected was to see your eyes watering when you looked back, “Don’t worry about it, it was dumb and-“you began to ramble but James stopped in his tracks, grabbing your wrist making you turn to face him. “I’m sorry,”

“No, I am,” James said, stepping closer, “I was an asshole I didn’t know,” he sighed, looking at the ground, “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted it to be just us?”

You shuffled on your feet, trying desperately not to look in his eyes, “Just didn’t want you to laugh at me or something,”

James felt his heart shatter, “I wouldn’t have laughed,” he said making you finally look up from the ground, “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

“It’s not,” James sighed, staring off in the distance making you squirm in anticipation, “You busy tomorrow?”

“Um I don’t think so- “

“Great! Good great um quidditch practise ends at 2,” James said as he began to ramble, “So I’ll come get you at half 2 and we can go back to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Just us yeah?” he said, finally looking back at you with a hopeful smile.

“Like a date?” you asked, your own lips tugging into a small smile.

James grinned at your reaction, “Yeah like a real date. Without those losers,” he said making you laugh, “I wanna do it right okay?”

“Okay,” you said, “It’s a date,”

“Great,” James said, breaking out into a cheesy smile when suddenly you both heard whooping and wolf whistles behind you, “Oh fuck off,” James groaned as you began to laugh.

Sirius all but ran over, flinging his arm around James’s shoulder, “Fucking finally mate told you to just ask her,”

“You don’t get the credit for this!” Remus butted in, totally offended by Sirius’s comment, “I made this happen!”

“Nu uh,”

“Yu uh,”

As the two began to bicker you suddenly felt James take your hand. You looked at him, eyes wide but he just gave you a small smile as he tugged on your hand, leading you away from his nutcase friends. “Walk me back to my dorm?” you asked.

James grinned down at you, “Always,”

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slashingdisneypasta · 1 year

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Slenderman x Reader || Oneshot

Plot: You and Slender have had a big fight, and broke up. You’re both done. Things are just too hard for you both, to stay together. You’ve broken it up and made it up more times then either of you care to count and you just cant do it anymore. You want each other, you need each other, you love each other more then anything else- But you’re giving up. You think its right thing to do.

Now, watch Offender, who is definitely the least knowledgeable man on earth about love, talk to his brother and fix this.

Warnings: Angst (Though I tried to put some comedy in there!) with an insinuated happy ending. Also, obviously, Offender.

Tagging: @ladala-shihiro , @miss-understood , and @yesthetrashbin . I hope y'all like this! ^^

This is a work off my old blog, @mainstreambaddies , remastered ^^ I was reminded about it talking to @marinerainbow ^^

“So, then-” You clear your throat, holding onto the handle to your suitcase, standing out on the porch. Slender's still inside the house, but the door is open. “This is done, now?” This has been done so many times before that its hard to believe that this is really over this time. You almost can’t take it seriously, like you should. Like it is. Like you know that you'll wish you had when you remember it tomorrow morning. You peer up at Slender with a smirk, though, because you just cant. “Not gonna meet me at the edge of the forest again?” Like he’s done the last, what, 70 times?? Apart from those times that you stopped and realised you love him, and ran back for him, of course.

Offender sits on the couch, just inside the mansion, seemingly reading the dirty parts out of some of Slenders books out of immense boredom, when he hears what’s conspiring feet from him. Promptly, he decides this is much more interesting and stops reading. He doesn't put the book down, so as to look like he's reading and not eavesdropping, but he most certainly is.

You get the feeling there would be a stiff, taught, no teeth kind of smile on him if he had those kinds of features. He’s standing in the doorway, with his arms crossed-not like he’s annoyed, or expecting something; More like he’s in thought, holding himself where he is. Together, and most importantly- still. “... Mm, no, not this time.” His voice is dull. “We discussed this already Y/N. This is final.”

“I know.”

“But we have said that before though, haven't we?”

As always, he can read your mind without even actually reading your mind.

You take a deep breath, and let it go. One of the many things you’ll have to let go.

Because you have to.

Because this is the last time. No more. You couldn't do it again,... and you wouldn't want to. Its too hard.

Offenders interest, and doubts, are thoroughly perked. What have they been discussing?? What do these two think they know?? What’s happening?? He rolls over onto his stomach on the couch to look at them, before pushing himself up onto his forearms. “Wait, what're you two doing?”

Slender flat out ignores him, while you give him a funny little look before looking back at Slender again. It hurts to say these next few words. God, its beginning to sink in- this is over. “So... I’m going now.” You love him... but its over. You couldn't do it; There were just too many obstacles in your way and you couldn't hack it.

Why couldn't you just figure it out?

“Okay.”

As you nod at him one last time, in the most awkward final goodbye that anyone has ever witnessed in real life or on TV, Offender cringes.

“-Hey, nobody answered my question. What are you doing?” Panic is starting to set in for real, as you leave, and Slender makes no move to follow you, or waive, or say anything else. He just watches.

What is this?? Anyone with even one working braincell can tell that these two are more meant for each other then any other so-called fucking 'romance' in history. What is this!?

Panicking even more, Offender wants to go and catch you before you get away, but instead of the graceful chase he was intending to give, he manages to get caught trying to escape the couch and tumbles off of it and hard onto the wooden floor. Its not been waxed in a long time. He’s going to have splinters in his face, for sure.

At least this gets Slenders attention, who stops watching you leave for the last time, and turns to look dubiously at his brother. It proves as nearly a distraction from his heart burning in his chest, so he’s eager to get to the insults. “... Are you starting to age? One of the first signs is loss of coordination, so you may well be. If you start to lose your hearing, do let me know. I’m next, after all.”

“No, I’m not starting to age, you spiteful little dick.” Offender, again gracelessly, gets up from the floor and fixes his coat, before stomping over to Slender with a firm, angry finger pointed. “I was disoriented, by the bullshitery happening a few feet away!”

Slender's voice is still dull, but in a difference way now. Tired. He just wants to go to his room and sleep for 11 weeks. His heart feels like its oozing out of his rib cage. Like its become liquid, and it’ll never be better again. This is too much, he didn't sign on for this, this is one of the many many reasons that humans are foul, loathsome creatures he shouldn't bother himself with, fuck- Why didn't he listen to his own goddamn advice?

He tries to perk up, though, for the sake of one of his favourite kind of digs. “Oh, is Jeff home?”

“Can you stop playing around for a couple zeptoseconds and talk straight with me, pixie boy?”

Ah, ‘Pixie boy’. Slender’s been waiting for that little nickname to come back around... not. Offender named him that as Slender's attitude really began to blossom as he grew up, because he resembled one of those little, spiteful, tricky fairies that humans go on and on about stealing their firstborn's, and such. Like Slender would ever want anything with a snivelling little infant. At least not a living, one- And he wouldn't bother leaving a replacement.

“No, shan’t. And can’t. Good day.” Slender makes a yawning sound, genuinely tired even not counting the disgusting heartbreak rushing like sepsis poisoning through his veins- from arguing with you all through the night before you came up with your very sensible conclusion, to end things. Offender watches, in complete disbelief and exasperation as Slender turns his back on him and heads through to the kitchen.

“Bitch, if you think I’m gonna give up that easy... “ Offender mutters to himself, as he rolls up his sleeves for emphasis and goes after his little brother.

-Who hears what was just muttered, and enquires about his supposed consequences, if he did indeed think that Offender would give up that easy. Cheekily. “Hm?”

“Then- you’ll-... be sorry-” Slender laughs quietly, and Offender gets the idea that that answer is not the right one. He also wants to punch him, but what else is new. “You will be... you will... you’ll be sorely mistaken, young man!!”

Oh, fuck. Offender thinks. I’m starting to sound like Splender. Except somehow less intimidating. Goddamn.

They travel through the mansion until Slender gets to his room. He slams the door closed right before Offender was to walk in after him, gets a frustrated swear in response, and is met with a big brother to the face a second later, when Offender teleports right in front of him.

Slender sighs in utter discontent.

Without a word, though, he veers around Offender and heads for the left wall of his room, which he’s converted into a makeshift kitchen. So that he can have tea and breakfast, without having to venture into public eating area and see people. He fills the kettle with water and sets it on the stove, using a tentacle to turn the dial. He doesn't turn back to Offender, just stands at the stove and watches the old fashioned, open topped kettle.

God, he’s diminished. Its taking all he has to keep up the front he has, now. He takes a slow, deep breath in. Why did he do that? Why did he end it with you? Slender suddenly feels the urge, physically, to move forward and get you back, even if he has to beg on his knees, but-

Slenders shoulders slowly, gently drop again as he lets out the breath. -but, he cant. He wont let himself.

This is the best, for both of you.

Mostly for them. Slender cant help but add on. Because, its true. He wants nothing, quite like he wants for you to be happy. If it meant his own destruction, which it apparently does, then that's what he'll do. He'll make it happen. He'll suffer.

“Tea?” Slender pipes up, starting the conversation this time himself, surprisingly. Offender looks at his back with a mix of ‘I don't know what to do here’ and that rare bit of ‘help him’ that always seems to come tearing out of the deepest parts of him when his brothers are in trouble. He had been reading Slender's thoughts and now he understood what his little brother was thinking- but it was still dumb as hell. And he refuses to take it.

His voice is cold, but his words give him all away, when he speaks next. “I want you to know that if that’s what you really think, that you’re both- that they’re, gonna be better for this, then you're delusional. But I know that you don't listen to anyone else, so yes. I would like tea. Thanks.”

It relaxes Slender a little knowing that Offender knows where he stands. That he doesn't have to nail into his brother how fixed his mind always is on things, like he has to with nearly everyone else who thinks they can change his mind. They cant. No one has that ability and its quite exhausting proving that over and over. He supposes that's one thing his idiot brothers are good for.

He nods in response, the slightest bit of relief dripping off his forehead.

The next few minutes are silent, except for the eventual question of ‘Earl Grey or English Breakfast?’, and the response of ‘Irish’. The silence continues, until Slender pushes a cup into Offenders hands and then finally, finally rests down in an elegant chair and table that looks out on his beloved forest. There’s another chair, which Offender finds home in, as Slender looks depleted with his shoulders hunched forward, his fingers tight around his cup, and his gaze on the window. Or, what’s outside, of course.

Seeing this, what Offender can only construe as a look of longing- he tries again. “So... you... don't wanna make up with Y/N, because...?”

Slender sighs, giving in to the conversation. Any other day, he’d fight it till the cows came home, but today... he just doesn't have it in him. Too... tired. He shifts his focus onto the dark, milk-less void of in his cup and slowly, shakily lets go with one hand to trace the edge gently. “I want off this rollercoaster, Offender. Y/N and I... we don't do anything but fight. I love them, somehow- but I’ll live forever, while they wont. They deserves to spend their limited amount of time in peace, and they wont get that with me. That's just... how it is. That's what we have seen.”

“You know it only feels like you fight all the time, when you’re fighting... that's normal, bro. There’s plenty of time when you and that kid are freaken… merged like black holes.” Oh, wow, that is not a bad analogy. Okay- “That must be why you’re hurtin’ so much now.”

“Black holes stay around for a long time.” Slender tells him immediately, and Offender hates him in that moment for knowing about space.

“Okay, bad analogy.”

“Yes.”

Frustrated again, Offender puts his tea firmly on the table to arouse attention. “Alright, new angle. It will come as no shock to you that we’re about as evil as that devil bastard himself, yes? We’re absolute turds next to the fucking gold crapping angel that is Splender, and the charity funder that is Trend.” Slender shifts, at that. Yes, that’s true. But does he needs to put it so unflatteringly? “ -Yet, that sweet, probably hallucinatory human out there in the forest fell in love with you. And you, with all your crusty, hates-every-damn-thing-ness, fell in love with them too. Love! You! Do you know how crazy that is? One in 7 billion. And that's with normal fucking people. Why the fuck are you letting it disappear???”

“Its for the best-”

“That kid, that mortal person, out there, is the best thing either of us could ever have hoped to deserve and you stumbled upon it! Now, you think you can just let them walk away?? And, also, what makes you think you're capable of that, anyway?”

Slender brings the tea, shakily to his ripped lips. This is starting to annoy him again, so he takes a deep breath. “...- ”

“You’ve never been able to do it before!!” Offender mildly rages, exasperated, as he stands up, letting his chair squeal back behind him. Slender looks up, to see his face over his tea. “Okay, okay. One last thing. Tell me, Slender. Can you stand to wake up tomorrow, and feel absolutely fucking empty? Because that's what's coming. You’re going to sleep peacefully all night, without a turn or even a snore escaping you, and you're gonna wake up and for a second you’re not gonna remember. But this ain't somethin' you can sleep off. You're gonna hurt, its probably gonna feel like you're dying, and its gonna be all your fault. You gave away the very last thing, that you should have.”

At the mental image that penetrates his mind and, god forbid, his heart, Slender physically winces. Nearly looses hold of his cup.

Offender just watches him for seconds, calming down from his outburst... before shoving his hands deep into his pockets, and pushing back his shoulders. Hopefully, that did it. Hopefully, that's enough -Besides, all this caring is starting to give him back pains. He desperately needs to go do something bad. Maybe he’ll hit up the streets.

Before he teleports away, Offender doesn't quite catch sight of the way Slenders tea gets set down on the table. His body convulses ever so slightly, at the realisation of how fucking wrong he is.

Then in the next second, Slender's gone, too.

#Slenderman x Reader #Offenderman x Reader #Slenderman #Offenderman #Slenderman x Reader Oneshot #Offenderman x Reader Oneshot #Oneshot #Slender Brothers #Slender Bros #Creepypasta #Creepypasta x Reader #Slender Bros x Reader #Slender Brothers x Reader

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onesidedradiostatic · 2 months

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I’m so sorry for this anon 😭 no due date on this! or ever. Maybe delete. Its passing on brainrot, like rabies

Imagine, if you will… dust is settling after vox and alastor have kicked major overlord ass. rubble and corpses still on fire. dramatic not-last-jedi music swells as they both catch their breath and their eyes meet. Vox closes the distance between them… there’s a beat of suspense (popcorn noises)

“I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to Hell”

“Don’t do this, Vox. Please don’t go this way.”

“N- no, you’re still!! Holding on!! Let go!! Do you wanna know the truth about your marketing reach? It’s LIMITED. You have no professional marketing training, you come from nothing. You’re nothing. But not to me.” OK SIKE I CANT DO THIS BIT ANYMORE

but imagine if Vox pulled out a PowerPoint Presentation with stonks graphs, logos, matching power-couple costume sketches, merch, HQ tower blueprints that he’s had in development for months etc. Or he’s like “we could make beautiful content together you know what I mean? like, an… intimate merrrgerrrr. but nothing full on if you’re not into that haha, I mean you’d set the pace, or I could..? I guess what I’m saying is… I’m gonna be candid here *wipes sweat, shakes nervous fanboy energy from his hands* Alastor The Radio Demon, would you do me the honor of accepting my proposal, and being partners with benefits” cringecringecringe typing all that was a copypasta nightmare. the bit never ends

And alastor says something like “haha you couldn’t pay me to! You think I’d lower my standards? Throw away my integrity? How deluded!” Throw some shame and humiliation onto vox’s emotional dumpster fire. Or really to the point: “I reject your business proposal. I’d rather die.” all because

1. ego, and

2. he thought the logos were ugly

I need it to be an UNHOLY, CRINGE DISASTER. Like i wanna be drafting my WILL from the secondhand embarrassment I want it nuclear.

but at the same time a really simple non-event would also be hilarious, considering what a huge issue Vox has made of it. Mountain out of a molehill

this reads like it escaped my immortal im so sorry

LMAOOOO NAH dw I love vox just being as cringe as humanly possible when it comes to alastor, like it could've been something simply or maybe he did make a huge show out of it, a really dramatic """business proposal""", something he poured his whole heart into a blunt "ha! no" from alastor. yeah if he was that cringe and ended up being rejected anyways making it all be for nothing I think I'd understand why he ended up being so salty

#ask #osrs.txt #take the L loser #radiostatic #staticradio #<- one-sided #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor

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technicallymaximumkitty · 2 months

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Sir Pentious headcanons because I am cringe but I am free

fair warning this is gonna be long because the autism is peak RN and i am increasingly sleep deprived, ENJOY!!!

He is half indian half british

Was white passing and his face was covered in moles and birthmarks

He was an orphan boy who worked in a textile mill as a kid

He got out of the textile life when a mechanic was looking for a new apprentice. Sir Pentious wasn't the first choice but runner up, and willing to do anything, he shoved the kid that was gonna be chosen into a machine that ripped their hands off. The kid being unable to work anymore, Sir Pentious was chosen.

As a teenager he was drafted into the army, he was never unable to climb ranks

He died from lead poisoning (that’s why he is a poisonous snake, get it? Poisonous? Lead poisoning? I’ll see myself out)

Sir pentious wasn't a sir in life, he only got that title in hell

All his shirts are button ups because he cant fit anything over his frill

The egg bois are basically furbys

All the egg bois do have names, given to them when they were first invented, but they never get called by their names. They barely remember because they have the memory of a worm

Sir Pentious makes food hate crimes, not on purpose but still

The first time Alastor made jambalaya Sir Pentious started crying because the air was too spicy for him

Yes he has the worst pallet in the world (i mean ofc he’s british/j)

This dude will be happy just eating bread from the bag for dinner

He was never married in life

I know the son was a throw away line, but like what if? He had one? Out of wedlock?

MF is so old fashioned about romance

He has autism because i said so

User vobomon has the theory that Sir Pentious has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, i agree

When he sheds (it’s biannually) he hides for like a few weeks until everything grows back (the scales on the ends of his frill are the first to fall out and take the longest to grow in)

He’s not inept at slang but he knowledge dose stop at 2007

Angel tried to pull an updog with Pentious but it failed and Angel was about ready to strangle the man on site

(played out like:

Angel: he pen, smells like up dog in here no?

Pentious: smells like what?

Angel: up dog.

Pentious: what is this, up dog you speak of?

Angel: you know, up dog.

Pentious: no, i do not know what this up dog is, what is it?

*it carried out for like five minutes of this back and forth*)

He watches people sleep because he saw to many of his friends die in his former life (living on the streets and all) so he keeps a close eye on his new friends out of habit

He and Niffty are banned from the coffee pot

His egg bois were trained on lucky charms

Charlie is is best friend in the whole wide world (they even have friendship bracelets to seal the deal)

Nifty used to leave the mice she caught in front of Pentious’s door for hime, they were asked to stop and now treat it like a drug deal

Was really good at holding down his alcohol, gotten soft over the years

Both his fangs are sweet fangs

Once ate an entire container of sprinkles in front of the others

Man can and will choke on water

He’s got the immune system of a victorian child (ie gets sick like once every other week)

He paints his claws

Skills he learned living in hell: sewing, baking, computer science, rocket science, speaking indian and french, anthropology degree, book binding, toxicology

Parrots slang he hears even if he doesn't know what it is

(ie: Vaggie: I am about to kill Angel if he doesnt shut up.

Pentious: oh! Is this your villain era?)

Stims by flapping his hands and frill

He need chewelry or he will gnaw on his hands

His hat is not alive, it acts like necomimi

Is immune to exhaust fumes at this point

Discovered hyperpop and scares Angel Dust when he tries to get the radio to play songs he actually knows and likes

In his early years of having the egg bois he would eat eggs in front of them to scare them when he was upset at them, they never caught on because, well they are the egg bois

Is a cat person

Runs a youtube channel where he swings between building tutorials and gossip commentary he’s got five followers and four of them are the egg bois and each video will rake up about 20 views

He and emily are best friends (also with friendship bracelets) and they are like sugared up three year olds together

They warrior cats roleplay together because let me have this

He goes around saying he kins victor frankenstein

Ate a plastic bag once

#hazbin hotel #sir pentious #sir pentious my beloved #the autism is autisming #the autism is winning #headcanon #brain go brrrr #i am sooooo normal about this snake man #hellaverse #help #blorbo #yea

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tokyogruel · 1 year

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@mikomappi i would warn you not to instigate me but its too late.

also i know this was bc of a meme post but genuinely i cant get him out of my head, i need to talk abt him & scream

ok so heres the thing abt my interpretation of haruka: im insane

tw for mentions of SH and sui. i mean its. its haruka.

hes a dog who's warning signs have been ignored for so long that he bites anyone who comes near, he's autistic, he has dyscalculia, he has dyslexia, he has body dysmorphia

he has no impulse control, he bites himself when he's distressed, he just wants love but the moment he gets it, it terrifies him & he has to destroy it

he fears anyone who seems to have any amount of power over him.

in my opinion: he had a sister who he grew up being overshadowed by because he was older & amab and he detests her so much for his mothers actions, he no longer considers her to be family

he fears kids & he fears what he's capable of doing to other people, he doesnt want to destroy things but its all he thinks he's capable of, he cant cry anymore & he feels he used up all the tears he could possibly shed in one lifetime

he has blue hair & pronouns, he's gotten himself sick on expired medication because his mother never took him to the doctor, he whines when he gets a headache (often)

he is strangely attached to EVERYONE in milgram imo, in their own weird ways. we all know he's dedicated to muu but. if he was close to yuno he would see her as a mother, im fairly certain fuuta will intervene on his suicide attempt. he idolizes shidou for bandaging him up once or twice

he envies the affection mahiru doles out to others (& basks in the affection she gives to him) he glances nervously across the room at kazui & feels his chest tighten holding back non existent tears when 07 gives him a warm smile in return

hes not afraid of amane anymore but that only makes him avoid her more- he cant stand the thought of being responsible for hurting her somehow

he revels in how mikoto seems to mesh so well with everyone, & of course he notices 09s mood swings & temperment changes, its incredible that nobody else comments on it, when theyve pointed out when 01 has swings. he finds kotoko to be intimidating, but he's infatuated with how strong and confident she is, he wants to be more like her

he idolizes Es & craves their attention. he knows Es could care less about him, but he cant help but be drawn to them.

if he had an ounce of confidence he would be so unabashedly cringe & loud & would smother everyone with his feelings & love & attention

if he knew what a furry was he'd make a fursona & make being a gay dog fish dragon his personality

#sakurai haruka #milgram #haruka sakurai #milgram 01 #also i dont care how 'canon' any of this is #theyre headcanons that are really important to me #also i know i said hes AMAB but hes also so so transgender in a gay boy way #because i said so #creature speaks

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beautiful-is-boring · 2 years

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Through the phone

Gojo satoru x Fem!Reader (she/her) | Fluff, very minimal angst if you squint, JJK MANGA SPOILERS

Summary: Gojo, your crush, rambles on and on about you, unaware that you're listening.

writing this was an impulsive decision so if this ends up being bad or cringe or if i make gojo ooc on accident im so sorry lol

"SHOKO IERI" Gojo's loud and booming voice startled his friend who was speaking to someone on the phone, causing her to yelp.

"hold on dear gimme a moment" she said to the person on the other side "satoru what the fuck?"

"I have so much to tell you about y/n!" he said to her with gleaming eyes that were covered by his blindfold, but shoko could easily tell he had heart eyes, since the topic was about you, his crush.

"not now! can't you see im talking to someone?"

"no. I will stay here and say whatever I want, and you will listen, and if that person wants they can listen too because y/n is just one of a kind okay? They also need to know about how cool she is!"

Shoko smirked to herself. Gojo would ramble on about you, and sometimes, he would sit quiet thinking of you; but he never made a move. You didn't either. Both of you were shy, stupid, dumbfucks who were afraid of rejection and attachment, even though you both wanted each other (her words, not mine)

She could have cut the call, but she didn't. She had a trick up her sleeve. It was you on the other end after all; and her long time friend didn't know that.

"go on ;)"

"so..." satoru began "i cannot stress this enough, and i know i said this loads of times before, but her smile is EVERYTHING. And her laugh? HEAVENLY. She could smile and giggle and boom! depression doesn't exist anymore! And everytime she smiles at me or I make her laugh I can feel myself BLUSHING and going RED but obviously she can't know that so I laugh it off saying its the heat, and I am so glad it is summer right now because that girl is really smart. Her brain is so hot. But she's dumb and oblivious a lot of times and its hilariously cute."

'Her smile is everything.' 'I can feel myself blushing.' 'Her brain is hot.' What the fuck? You could hear everything he was saying to shoko through your phone. Blushing profusely, your eyes widened automatically. This was Gojo, your crush, and an egoistical bastard. He would never admit any of the things he was unapologetically saying at the very moment. You knew your feelings were reciprocated yet you continued to listen to know what he actually thought of you.

"Like- she's so pretty its illegal." He continued gushing on about you while Shoko silently snickered to her self and you froze completely.

"Honestly? She's so badass and doesn't give a shit about anything else but she's so caring. I saw her help this small kid in the park whose balloon was stuck on a tree and she helped him get the balloon back, and I instantly fell in love. You already know sweet she is with the students, they love her! AND SHE MAKES SPECIAL CHOCOLATES FOR ME! How cool is that! She..." his voice quietened down a bit "she makes me feel special shoko. She makes me feel loved. She cares about me a lot. Its just a different kind of feeling. But im scared, I don't want to lose her. You-you know what happened to getou- i cant-"

He took in a heavy breath and paused for a second "I dont want to lose her in any way. What if they target her because of me? I know she's so damn strong, nothing can touch her. But that 1% still remains. Or what if she doesn't reciprocate my feelings? Her and I are close friends and i don't want to lose that too. And on top of that I am busy and I am a hard guy to be with."

"well, what do you want to do?" Shoko asked him with a softer smile.

"I..I think i'm gonna stop. She deserves better if im being honest. She needs someone who can pamper her and give her time. I am done-"

"Satoru?"

Your shaky voice could be heard from shoko's phone.

Gojo froze and everything around him went quiet. You. It was you, the one only y/n, on the phone. The one he was in love with. The one he just rambled on and on about to his friend, and you heard every single word. He could feel his mind go hay-wire. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole from the embarrassment. He wanted to go to some foreign country, dig a hole, crawl in it and die. He felt vulnerable, panicked and so much more.

"Satoru? Are you still there?" your voice broke the silence, drawing his attention to you.

He decided to get it over with.

"heyyyy y-y/n? hehe listen don-don't worry about it i-i was just joking- i mean i was n-not- but you don-t have to take me seriously like i-i respect your feelings and if you don't return them t-that is okay but please lets still be friends but i was hoping for-"

"Satoru...please, tell me the truth. Please tell me you're not joking."

With a heavy sigh, he spoke into shoko's phone. "Y/n, I like you. 'I am in love with you' would be a better choice of words, but I don't want to be awkward, it feels as if I'm going too fast. Look, its okay if you don't like me back, and I completely get it; but I have hidden my feelings for a really long time now, and I just wanna say that I will always be by your side, protecting you, supporting you, being the bestfriend that you need during hard times."

"Why do I need you as my bestfriend to support me when you can do the same while being my boyfriend?"

w h a t

Gojo satoru's eyes widened and his mouth hung open. What the hell did you just say to him? "...what? y-y/n what are you saying?"

"I..I wanted to confess my feelings for you for so damn long but I was scared to lose you. I think we both were." you giggled softly and gojo could feel his heart swell. "Satoru, I like you too. I like you so so so much."

"I can't believe it!" he whispered.

"I'm in my office room. Meet me now." That was all you said before you hung up. Gojo could hear the nervousness from your voice, while keeping in mind that he was very nervous too, and he probably gave it away because of his stuttering at the start. He felt butterflies in his stomach, partly from his nervousness and partly from the happiness he felt from receiving your confession.

He looked at shoko with shocked eyes.

"Don't be a wimp and just go to her." Shoko responded to his look, and smiled. "You'll be fine."

Gojo took a deep breath in, then out, and then teleported himself to your office.

His eyes fell on you the moment he stepped foot in that room. You were seated on a big couch that you owned, looking ethereal as ever in the golden rays of the sun that entered into the room through your open windows. Gojo couldn't help but blush at how beautiful you looked, even while being so nervous, and he could feel his heart do a backflip when you gave him a soft smile with a small "hi".

"hi." he replied back, not knowing what to say. His awkward stance was adorable.

"you look really cute when you're flustered." Your compliment made him smile as you both walked towards each other. It was not normal for THE Gojo satoru to be this soft, this flustered, the reason being a person.

"and you, my darling, you...look absolutely adorable when you smile." you both chuckled lightly as he booped your nose with his finger, drinking in the sight of you smiling. "...is it too early to call you darling-?"

"no no it isn't!...I like it." It was your turn to blush now. "What nickname do I use for you?" You tiptoed and wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his arms go around your waist, gazing into his ocean like eyes twinkling behind the glasses.

"Anything. What do you want to call me?"

"'Toru'. How does that sound?"

"Don't ever call me anything other than that." was all he said before he leaned down and softly placed his lips over yours, feeling a different kind of happiness for the first time in forever.

------------------------------

Taglist: @narcwhore @bollywoodgrandma @vampire-rat-bastard @levis-hazelnut

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localgardenweed · 1 month

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Ok I was originally gonna write how I wanna go back to Eddsworld and do stuff for it again but felt out of the loop with the modern fandom and shit but ended up being a rant about how I hate Beyond so like gonna write this again but keeping part of the rant cause i need to share how much i cant stand Beyond again

So like I wanna come back to Eddsworld cause as much as it was a dumpster fire for me it was my first real fandom I was apart of online so it holds a place in my heart. I mean probably technically whatever I did on Framecast was my first ever online fandom space but shhhh that dont count i was but a wondering traveler looking for my place in the world. It actually got me into Eddsworld someone made a animation to Youth by Daughter and had me hooked. But still was very important to me and my art development.

Its so crazy to me cause i was into Eddsworld HARD in the 2016-2020 era where alot of the ig modern fandom was born i watched cities fall and crumble I was deep in the amino trenches, Pork Sodaing and seeing so much historical fandom events happen before your eyes. I was watching everyone consume every piece of Prince of Mints and Moho art I was a sucker for them which probably wasn’t okay for like a 5th grader but i definitely turned out all right /j.

I left for a little bit on and off cause Hetalia was choking me and like keeping me prisoner but like it still had a place in my heart for it but like ya know i still was there but idk now I just dont find the same spark anymore from the first go around. Something changed and maybe cause i just had my tastes change and maybe cause my ex-best friend was making fun of my oc all the time but i made him when i was like 11 and figuring out identities and ways to express yourself without sticking to the gender norms and dealing with alot of stuff at the time i finally caved and just didn’t feel the same any anymore about the show.

Cause I loved that fandom more than anything but, I don’t know I just don’t know how to get back that spark and go frolic in the fields with my TomTordOc love triangle of my 5th grader dreams and just be cringe and free and feel joy again but I just cant enjoy the material anymore like THEY ARE MASSACRING MY BOYS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THEMM

It doesn’t hit the same and i know i dont need to consume Beyond i doubt anyone actually does at this point but i cant stand beside while they murder everything i loved about the Classic and Legacy eras.

Also just, I think I hit a road block with it too like, I got stuck on where to do and what to do with Eddsworld like. I make aus i made ocs i made a ask blog i made animatics, now what? And like idk i felt weird and like stuck in the mud with them. Also just had the friend falling out who was also the co-creator of the ask blog so now i dont know how to pick it back up all by myself again but them again i really was just doing it by myself all the time anyway so i just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things

I have some ideas for aus and maybe just finally be free and bring my oc back from the grave for realsies and make you all consume it but, I don’t know. Im scared to come back cause also weirdly alot of the new fans are younger than me or the older fans are older than me so its kinda awkward, also im just awkward im scared to talk to people online, there is and were some people i desperately wanted to be friends with both in and out of Eddsworld but im too scared and either just watch from afar or abuse the Anonymous function in ask boxes.

If i cave enough i might come back to Eddsworld to at least finish my lore for the ask blog cause IM SORRY I LEFT YALL HANGING I HAD SCHOOL AND THEN JUST FORGOT ABOUT IT but forever haunted by the people who like every single post and then i get excited cause i see like 99+ notes waiting for me and i think one of my new posts blew up but no its just the ew boys who screw around likes and reblog and the occasional comment

One day ill return to my rightful birthplace and one day I shall be free and one with nature and draw as much as I want for it and as many ocs i want without someone telling me its cringe or make more for the ask blog or hell start doing animation and animatics again

Ok here is the Beyond rant now if you wanna read it

I feel the difference between Beyond and Legacy is that, Beyond is trying to horriblycopy their older brothers Classic and Legacy and almost dumb it down a bit with more childish humor, and Legacy takes inspiration from Classic: It’s different but a natural difference/evolution. Or the fact a whole new guy was writing it all with a slightly different style so he wrote what he knew idk maybe a bit of a factor idk

Also i cant stand the Tord bait sorry I cant, especially when they used to like get annoyed by the fandom by asking and then just realized he was a cash cow so like now we get Tord merch and the hints and Tori and the skit with the cavemen like OMG TORD- and he got crushed by a rock thanks gang, cause like dude I think as much as we love Tord like maybe this go around respect Larson’s choice to like not use him in the series anymore and take him out but like ig that doesn’t apply to merch so yeah lets do one more go around bring out the red one. Or idk maybe they contacted him and was like “yo dude can we like use him for merch” but i dont think that happened. I think it was just better to leave him absent from the show and be like “yeah no Tord guys, no Tord” and we could have all had our thumbs up and be like “Ok Eddsworld Beyond we are okay with that”. Like I know Red October was for charity but idk it still felt weird to use Tord, like could this really not have just been the main 3 or like bring in some deep cut old characters or side characters did we really need Tord here.

#localgardenweed #the weed is rambling #eddsworld #big rant #sorry for the influx of text posts guys i have no art rn to share to the public #i mean ive been drawing but its a bunch of like irl friend group au stuff and idk if we wanna share it to tumblr dot com yet

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regulusvariant · 1 year

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i’m just saying that there are no real reason to not like tsats and i get it everyone got their own opinions but most of these are just holding will and nico TWO QUEER TEENAGERS THAT ARE 15 to standards that straight couple would never be held at

i’m blaming homophobia on this one idk🤷‍♀️

people comparing will to a racist because A SON OF THE SUN GOD LITERALLY CANT LIVE IN THE UNDERWORLD

he needs the sun to survive and people not understanding this are just choosing to ignore this part

they are literally erasing the whole of will and persephone’s discussion

by the end of the book we see will willing to try his best to understand nico on deeper levels

in my opinion there weren’t enough of cringe moments because i’m a teenager maybe not 15 anymore but at 15 i was just like them

i love the pop culture references and in my opinion this book is perfect for solangelo

i’m not down but when i remember some other stuff i’ll come back

#tsats spoilers #tsats #nico di angelo #will solace #the sun and the star

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katsudondom · 6 months

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I need to vent, sorry

long post incoming :)

↓

Yeah, I feel that I was born in the wrong generation

And no, I don't think I'm special or anything for saying that.

Like, do people think I want to feel like an outcast whenever I'm around a group of people that are the same age as me? Because I'd trade my interests and niches any day if it meant I could finally feel what it's like to have a group of friends by my side, or a partner holding my hand.

And yes, I do have many criticisms about certain aspects of modern technology and social media, but I don't downright hate it or dismiss the good that came from modern technology/the Internet entirely. If anything, I'd love to be born when the Internet was just starting to walk, when it wasn't as popular yet and when you were considered a nerd for even owning a computer. That'd be an amazing time to be alive, until "normies" (cant find a better word sorry I know it's cringe) started making the Internet more mainstream and later on it being the #1 reason why Americans are more stupid and self-centered then ever (in my personal opinion).

I'm more so disconnected with my generation because of the culture, not modern technology.. A generation where we believe in anything without doing any research or seeing different perspectives first, a generation that's easily brainwashed into believing anything, a generation that's so sure that their opinion is right that they'll even ruin someone else's life or ridicule them into oblivion just because the other person thinks differently. That's the reason why I feel like I don't belong with my generation, not because "ew social media".

Actually, that's not the whole reason why-

I also really just love the grunge/rock culture of the 90's, and the scene/emo culture of the early 2000's. It all felt like a community back then, like wherever you were at there'd be people accepting you with open arms, no matter who you were or what you looked like, ready to have you join their clique people that just liked the same shit as you do.

Nowadays, there doesn't even feel like a community anymore, even within your own culture. Everyone's divided, everyone's prejudice, and everyone can't put their differences aside and at least co-exist with each other. This "you're with me or against me" mentality is getting old real fast. Instead, let's have thoughtful and provoking conversations with each other, instead of being quick to go on social media and wishing ill to the white kid in your History class just because he wore a red hat that you happened to disagree with.

Idk, it's all just really silly.

I was just scrolling down watching YouTube when I saw a video calling people like me who think they're in the wrong generation "annoying" and I had to vent since it actually triggered me a bit, ngl, because just by looking at the thumbnail where they put a bunch of modern technologies and had "modern" in bold letters with the word being crossed out, I knew what points they were going to make, and I just needed to vent about how not everyone who feels like an outcast is trying so hard to be different.... It's 99% the complete opposite and I just always hated that stereotype from people who obviously have it way better in life, from people who clearly don't understand what it's like to be almost invisible even when you try so hard to be liked/seen to the point where you fantasize about a time you weren't even born in because "what if?".

Shit, I'm done, needed to get that off my chest and the only way I'd feel good about it is by posting it online. Scared to put tags on this because half of the criticisms about Gen Z that I wrote about relate to about 99% of Tumblr users, so I might piss someone off but fuck it, I want my voice to be heard and no one will probably care to read this anyway.

And yes, I know there's other teens/young adults out there like me, who has the same mindset as I do. I don't think that I'm the only special snowflake that feels this way, but it's so fucking hard finding someone who sees the world the same way as I do, that it does make me feel a bit like I am the only one.

Anyway,

Goodnight 🖤

#long rant #just ignore this #i'm just so tired #honestly #born in the wrong generation #more like born in the wrong universe

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sleepy159 · 1 month

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everlasting stars

summary: The stress of the akidemiya got to Layla, eveything became to much and she just needed a way to release. a/n: suprise im not dead!!!! this is short (508 words) bc im in a writing slump but its ok!! ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ────── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :

The door slammed shut behind Layla, gray rings floating into the air as she sat down on the toilet in the stall. she stared down at her white leggings as she willed herself to cry. She just wanted to feel anything besides the oh so familiar tugging and pulling feeling, the ugly feeling of her stomach twisting into knots, butterflies rising in the worst way possible. She wanted to cry but nothing was left, she didnt even know who she was, why she was here, or how many papers she had yet to do. Layla curled her fingers into her hands as the weight of the razor in her pocket became to heavy, she pictured it sitting there, waiting, taunting her. 'No, no, no, no, no, no' the thought repeated in her head. Her throat swelled, and her fingers ached to hold the blade, to make imprints in her fingers from how tight she had been holding it, to watch the blood bubble, to stretch her skin while she waited for that sweet sight. Why was it so easy to do this but not stay clean? why was she such a failure?

Laylas hand pulled the razor from its pocket. She stared at it for a long moment, her left sleeve tugged up to show the plump pale skin, she wanted to cut through it, like a fruit. She wanted the murky red to pour out like a to ripe orange. Layla pressed the side of the razor that was stained with blood onto the top of her arm, the good side. 'Archons im such a pathetic person i cant even do it on my wrist.' was the last thought she had before her mind went numb. She dragged it, the sickeningly sweet pain of it enrapturing her. Beads of blood appeared, her hand pulled down near the cut to let more spill out.

That same razor had done this so many times, times she didnt care to count. Layla mapped out a place where she would fill it out with cuts and set to work. It barely hurt anymore, she just wished it did. She pulled the razor back into its corrective spot and stared at the blood before pulling her sleeve over it, cringing at the feeling of the cloth absorbing. Layla opened the door to the stall, and walked, her footsteps making golden triangles cloud her vision. she stared at herself in the mirror, her grimy skin, bloodshot eyes, eyebags dark as the coffee she drank. She wondered if she was even real, if anything was real.

The distant chatter of her peers swiped at her mind and she adjusted her hair, picked the gunk out of her eyes and walked out into the hallway. There was so many colors, everywhere. Layla had learned to let the colors, shapes, images, and sounds slip into a raindrop in the back of her mind though it barely helped. She sat down in the too hard seat in her classroom and closed her eyes. Just another useless day.

#layla #genshin impact #angst #self h@rm #depression tw #i wrote this instead of sleeping #im so tired #im so so so sorry

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elliesfern · 2 years

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bird cage - chapter seven ***

summary - you’re on the run after escaping the cult you grew up in, the seraphites. you run into a woman who completely changes your course and are unsure whether or not she will let you live.

pairing - fem reader x ellie. both characters are in their 20s.

warnings - kidnapping, violence, weapons, guns, blood, injury, burns, aggressive language, animal death, mention of hanging, alcohol, drinking, nsfw. 18+ only.

*** this is something a little different, not a typical chapter. just start reading, i promise you’ll figure it out. it’s pretty short. the emojis, although a little cringe, are representations of drawings

a/n - guys i literally love you all so much. your love means the world and when you comment it makes my whole day, fr. just be aware, i cant comment on posts off this account since it’s linked to an old account, so if i don’t reply, please know i’m not trying to be rude! i really appreciate all the comments. i’d love for people to inbox me or go through my asks so i can properly say thank you <3 enjoy xx

ao3 link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/38383471/chapters/98009175

——————————————————————————————

Found a cabin to sleep in. It has a fireplace and is super warm. There was only one clicker in there when I found it but I took that mother fucker OUT.

Been away for 12 days now. Starting to run low on food. I should probably go back soon, but god I do not want to see her. I feel bad. She probably can’t stand me. Just need a break. Need to breathe.

🌲🌲🌲

I miss Joel. And Dina, and Jesse. Even Cat. I can’t imagine what they must be thinking right now. Wish I could let them know i’m ok.

I met a real scar, found her by a river drinking water. I think she’s around my age. She says she left them but i’m not so sure. She’s kind of aggressive, she bit my leg and it fucking hurt. We need to know more about the scars and why they attacked. This will be perfect, whatever it takes. But she’s making it fucking difficult.

Fell asleep on me. Must be exhausted. Also doesn’t shut up. Ever.

i don’t care

cause i’m not there

and i don’t care

if i’m here tomorrow

She tried to escape. Don’t know why I don’t just let her at this point. Holding someone captive is kinda fucked. I can’t stop thinking that Joel will be proud of me though. We’ll finally get the answers we’ve been looking for.

Says she doesn’t believe in the same things the Prophet does anymore, not sure why but thank god. The prophet seems like a complete fuckwit.

She’s quite badly injured. I think I’m treating it properly. What the fuck are you doing Ellie? This is a human being. Can’t let her know you feel bad. Vulnerability is weakness.

☀️🌙

She freaked out while I was tying her hair. Maybe she doesn’t like to be touched. Is that a scar thing?

🌻🌻🌻

I haven’t dreamt about Cat since I met the scar.

Holy fuck. This girl is super skilled with a bow and arrow. Could use her on my patrol team if she wasn’t a seraphite.

Focus on getting her back home. Nothing else. Stop being fucking weird. She’s a Seraphite!! What the fuck Ellie!!!!!!

If everyone back home saw my hair put up in two little braids like this, I would quite literally never hear the end of it. Especially from Dina. But, apparently I look ‘cute’. So it’s kind of a win.

🤍

I feel like the biggest mess of a person this earth has ever popped out and I wish I could just sink beneath the dirt and live there forever.

#tlou #ellie tlou #ellie williams #fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us x reader #tlouii #fanfic #ellie x reader #bird cage

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wildcardaces · 1 year

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@ruby-static "babi heart 2" edition!

A continuation of the last bit!

Anna: EPF. we got a problem

Anna and shawn: Bear.

Gary: gadzooks!

Shawn is holding onto this tiny polar bear for dear life. He isnt in warm snow cave anymore and needs to be warm afterall. Meanwhile anna is just "look at this"

Mai: where did you find him!?

Anna: ice flow hit the docks. Shawn was the one who found him.

And mai hears the commotion and is just as shook as anna and the rest of the EPF.

Mai: ok, lets look at ya lil guy

Heart: *tiny bear noises*

Mai: uhm, well shawn, i think he wants you.

Anna: pfft

Heart doesnt like being held by someone else. Anna is holding back a laugh cause she knows they've just imprinted on shawn. xD

And the finale!

Shawn: you guys are so fucking cringe.

Leon: no u.

Kase and herbert: what the fuck that mean?

Shawn got kidnapped and these 3 cant even formulate a plan without diving into a 5 hour argument.

#agent a anna #shawn #heart #mai #kase #leon #gary the gadget guy #herbert p bear #club penguin ocs #club penguin oc #club penguin

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goremet-chef · 5 months

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DREADFUL so dreadful but the only step is to just reach forward. like all i need to do is pick up my pen but i cant. wish i could tho

art will always be my passion, even if it bothers me sometimes. its all ive ever been good at, fantastic outlet for creativity and emotional buildup but i just. sometimes i cant move and i dont know why and its literally inches away from me but i can hardly move forward yknow? im fine physically, but mentally its like this huge step that seems so intimidating

i feel like i live off of outcomes and when the outcome isnt certain my brain goes haywire and holds me in place until the outcome can settle. but? this outcome IS the same. its so easy, ive done it before. reach and grab, draw what yr dying to draw

im drowning myself in lethal company things im so excited and im . all my minecraft ocs and my sotf ocs like i have so much i need to make and just.. no will to do it. but i want to! want to more than anything. id feel better if i did, which is true i would feel better. when it builds up inside you its OVERWHELMING like insanely so. i can get it out and free myself if i just DO it but theres always this barrier between what i want and what i actually do yknow? very lame

yknow art is my passion even if it hurts me sometimes it makes me very happy and i like to create, everyone likes to create. i like to see what i can do, like to bring all these buzzing thoughts to reality. can hardly hold onto them long enough to do that but i try at least. sometimes i feel really really unreliable and i dont know why?

i dont do commissions anymore, i pretty much ONLY draw for myself. who are you disappointing? who do you THINK yr disappointing? no one even remembers all the times you say "im drawing this 😼", YOU dont even remember all the times you say that. theres no pressure, you can do it whenever you want, it doesnt make you worse or anything. art is for you, you'll get to it when you can

yes :] i think i probably will. im just trying to make myself feel better honestly its something that eats at me and i dont know why?

its like some HORRIBLE combination of impostor syndrome and bpd fears like "oh no im not good enough!!! i need to provide i need to create for others to consume to prove im worthy" and then when i DO create, when too many people like it its.. i feel like ive conned them, surely i didnt make something that good, i must have faked it somehow and the attention is undeserved

SHIT LIKE THAT honest to god all my mento illnesses come together and hold hands like some really fucked up version of the power rangers. all of them collide in the WORST ways possible its. what is bro doing in there !!!! seriously its actually comically tragic but i live in spite this, i probably always will live in spite of it. sometimes im like wow lets let everything wash over and give up, this hell isnt worth it. but isnt it? back and forth black and white, world is ending world is beautiful type shit. when it feels over i just try to remember all that stuff that and it forces me to remember that there is no giving up on this, wouldnt give it up for the world. its mine and ill keep it

as i was saying tho, i feel so much happier drawing when i try to keep it out of mind. like yes, of course i love the attention. who doesnt? but i used to be INCREDIBLY numbers driven for like. hefty chunk of my art history. like little 11 yr old me breaking coppa on dA had so much fun just drawing hot garbage and sharing it and it never got like any likes but i didnt even CARE i just. to be able to create and share is the best part of all

i wish i was like him again. im not that boy, not anymore, but i remember him and i keep him close. all that cringe bullshit and i was having so much fun

ill give myself some credit yknow. im an adult, money is a necessity in this world. art becomes more of a chore and something i feel pressured on because logically its the only thing i can DO right to make a quick buck like. its the one thing i know i can do. but having my passion turn into something like that? dreadful

sometimes you cant avoid it, i just have to do my best to look past it and recognize that beneath all that shit. theres something in me that needs to draw, the same thing that forces me to carry sketchbooks and pencils with me wherever i go, even if i never use them. just this lingering presence that screams at me and tells me that i will create. i will! i will create

#weird ramble #just talking to myself lol #AS IS MY RIGHT its my blog shut up

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0thsense · 5 months

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11/29/2023

It's been a while since nippon and nothing good has happened. That's not really true but it is true I haven't made progress on my goals. I've even made negative progress on lifting and running. Or maybe sideways who cares im just not dedicated enough. why do i bother with good grammar on these posts just let it go bro.

I did well on the osu tournament at least, but ive gotta give up on that shit. just play for fun and casual improvement. I fucked up my wrist the other day too and it still hurts. It kinda hurts to type to be honest. tumblr can fuck off with the spellcheck btw. i talked to Peter about his journaling and im starting to think that my thoughts are just way more cringe than average. ur telling me everyone else doesnt have to hold back cringe all the time? i love being cringe is the problem

one thing I remember feeling on the way to see my pt is that i think i like feeling sad. the type of sad where id like to say its something other than self pity but its probably just self pity. god im so reluctant to say im falling into a common trap that is wallowing in self pity.

oh yea I started taking caffeine pills and not taking medication. I don't think its helping so far but I feel less shit all the time. is it time to truly give up? im scared that im losing my mental faculties. I remember I used to try to optimize everything i did. which i thought was dumb at the time because I would proceed to waste all the extra time I had. but now I dont have that drive to optimize anymore. i dont believe in myself to be different anymore. in fact its a struggle to even be normal.

i dont know if ive talked about this before but I tried to go for a route in my life where I wouldnt have to learn to be normal. if I got far enough doing special weird things then people would accept that I didnt have to be normal, and theyd even praise me for it. but now that ive fallen off the wagon I have to just be behind on being normal instead. I hate the feeling that other people will look at me and think I was wrong all along.

Im so doomer in these posts. I guess getting off the medication wasnt enough to stave away the depression. I didnt even do anything today either programming wise. Theres a month left, and its december. maybe i should just start leetcoding now. I say that cuz its the normal thing to say but there is no way I start before the new year. time to pretend to be happy for the holidays.

im worried that it will be difficult to find a job. i want to find a job in new york but i need to find a position that lets me afford rent. i have a limited number of people i can reach out to for referrals and if those dont pan out im probably in deep trouble and will need to take whatever i can get.

there's a channel called hoe_math on yt that has blackpilled views but surprisingly its really popular. the couple vids i watched were entertaining and agreeable and im scared of watching more and becoming a misogynist. the old me would not have been scared. watch and sift the new information and try to remain as objective as possible keeping in mind all of your own biases. now im a thinking plebian. what happened to me? i ask as i know the answer perfectly well.

also i think im bad at diagnosing my own mental state. after taking molly for the first time i could barely tell i felt anything. that probably has an effect on my diet for example, where my instinct on what i need to eat is dull. is this linked to not being in touch with my emotions? ur feelings are partly a reflection of your body's state after all.

i cant even finish this stupid pong game. any mental obstacle that i think will take like an hour is just too much. the true test of will is the will that can give consistent effort day after day. i wonder how neurotypicals feel. does it also feel literally impossible for them to do certain things? what does it mean to just not want to do something? determinism wise everything either happens or is impossible. i have a hard time relating that to the things adhd stops me from doing. maybe the reason im more inclined to believe determinism is that adhd makes the illusion of choice much weaker.

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