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#i cant trust anyone who talks like me.
eatsbop · 27 days ago
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He kinda talks like me. My shoulders are on high alert.
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palukoo · 9 months ago
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for all that the west wing makes it blatantly clear that like josh and toby and leo are all obsessed with loyalty, and for josh and leo specifically loyalty to jed, i just think its interesting that cj is the one who actually stays
#tww#the west wing#cj cregg#my post#god anyways i love her so much#you could in a lot of ways say the same about charlie but you can also argue that his loyalty shifted to cj#like... cj who was one of the last to join the campaign iirc... who toby got to come on... who argued constantly about being kept out of#the loop... who didnt know what the hell to do when taking the chief of staff job#and the rest of them all leave.... im not criticizing them for that! but like. we have leo talking about jed being his guy#we have leo being criticized for being too close to jed to be objective and leo doing anything for jed and his legacy#and abbey saying leo would kill himself for jed... we have 'josh doesnt leave people' and 'you serve the issues by serving the man'#and like. literally anything he says to amy ever about loyalty and 'you would do anything to not disappoint leo'#and we have the way toby is so angry at anyone who doesnt show this loyalty#at will for leaving at andy for not marrying him at cj sometimes im sure and at sam for leaving#(his is the least obvious but i have been thinking about him lately)#and josh leaves to find his guy and leo leaves to serve his country and his party when they need him (because jed doesnt anymore??)#and toby literally commits treason (which yk a part of me sees more as a betrayal to cj than to the president... hes her friend and#he got her into this and shes alone bc theyve all left and the president is sick and abbey and her cant agree when they have to have#opposing priorities on this (which i think is also really painful for cj) and hes all she has and she trusts him and tells him#and then he leaks it... he lets her be the main suspect for weeks... its loyalty again in a way when he does turn himself in#when he never tells them it was her#(and oh boy i also have some andy related thoughts on this... cj having to go through this opposing priorities with people she cares about#bc what she wants for andy and what she needs for the administration are different things)#but he still did betray her trust)#and cj's just left to try to make the most of this administration as everything falls apart. and she had people#she has will and kate and charlie and margaret and i dont want to lessen that at all#but its not the same!#s7 (and s6 honestly) is so distinctly like painful for cj#oof these tags got long
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wenofqishan · 2 months ago
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sorry i came on a bit strong earlier, i stand by what i said but i was having a weird day and i let that affect the tone of my answer so it came off a little too defensive. a quick clarification of my thoughts in the tags and then that’s all i’m going to be saying on that
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lesbiansforboromir · 7 months ago
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Ohhh it’s getting bad again folks, this is a venting in the tags post no need to read it or interact with it! 
#gotta lot of thoughts in my head that are better off outside of it#contemplating the now pretty real concept that I will have spent a large majority of my life in school#and in situations and learning things that I wasn't that interested in or enjoyed and some that were pretty distressing#only to get to my third year of university and to have my body be literally incapable at completing the last stage#we're back to thinking about 'what if it's just this forever now' and that's a bad concept#I always forget how dehumanising the bad periods are all your choices are suddenly nonexistent i'm not really making choices at all#i'm being forced down the most self serving most solopsistic lanes and I can't really care about people and I cant make plans#i have no control over how I interact with the world or how I'm percieved really I'm just in bed and weighing the benefits of#talking to friends or having a bath#and I'm trying to balance my brain's still incessant need for stimulus but the very few number of activities that I can do without#severely impacting my health are so limited in scope and a lot of them literally make me depressed anyway#And it gets worse every year because I'm more and more of an adult who has no real adult experiences and less of a life to speak of#and it's already practically a concern like I really no longer trust my parent's instincts or ideas that it'll all be ok but#the idea of being cared for by anyone else literally drives me out of my mind with guilt and misery!#I'm walking my bones are all fine my brain works passably well#But I cannot work! there's no way I can work like this I can't even play video games all I can do is like#tap into that one arbitrary straight like that my brain's allowed me and open the tap and let it pour out#all other things have to be dug out of me and I'm so tired I can't think straight by the end of it#AND SCREEN BASED THERAPY... is not working out for me... or at least it's not got such a benefit#poor george he's doing his best but there's something prohibitive about holding my phone and looking at this person through a screen#ANYWAY if you read all the way down here don't worry about it and you didn't need too I'm just cataloguing#I forget a lot of how bad periods were so it's good to write it down to remember#tbd#except that's a lie but maybe it's not who knows
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leafeonb · 10 months ago
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this is so fucked up....evil
#lulu.txt#999 lb#capybara so i have something nice to look at.#this is literally so o(-< a lot of these people are on the nonary game AGAIN after years....were they alright. are they alright#also why dont they say anything about being on that place before.........#like okay seven cant remember anything from before he woke up on this ship so thats okay. i think.#but then theres snake and santa they were on the last nonary game but do they just dont remember who was on that game or#are they actively pretending to not know each other thats so fucking funny if i found someone that knew me for a day when i was 15 i#too would do that *looks away* clover was too young 😟 so she probably doesnt remember anyone bc of that......MAN. 🐴#but its so fucking bad that everyone is on this nonary game again o(-< please leave them alone im going to kill you THATS SO BAD#hell world....2! for them. dude o(-< like okay lotus doesnt know about the nonary game but her kids were there i :-( her kids man#seven was investigating that case....then santa snake and clover were on the last nonary game too. idk about june but the way she keeps#getting fevers is. a bit worrisome. girl hello? are u okay? why. is it just the writers hating women or 😔 AKANE ARE YOU ALRIGHT? okay idk#the connections with her yet but. hm 🤔 junpei is also just some guy so far#as for ace.....well. given the chance to kill him i WILL kill him bc he keeps killing everyone in the endings apparently 🙂 so basically#hes an asshole. LIKE he acts like hes nice and wants everyone to trust each other but its bc hes planning on betraying them in the end....#he wants to get out of this place alone and leave everyone else. if i got the killer right. man. *kills him* ANYWAYS IDK HOW HES CONNECTED#TO THE LAST NONARY GAME but i have a strong feeling that he was there. working on something. bc of his reactions to some dialogue 😐#like when junpei is talking about clover and snake to him.......man i dont trust ace#VIOLENCE. KILL. idc about thr 9th man i hope he dies a lot of times i hate him#but also. man.....man.................okay i wont think about the last nonary game#also i wont think about who zero is i havw some options in my head but i am looking away i am simply doing that#ITS SO.#okay. anger and a lot of stuff from the story that i still have to figure out 🏃🏃🏃
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waste-0f-spacee · 4 months ago
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#i’ve been abandoned by every single person i’ve ever called a friend and that is so gut-wrenchingly sad to me#and honestly scary???#people will lie right to your face and go on with their day like it’s nothing#it terrifies me#i cannot trust a single person on this planet#everyone loves to pretend they understand mental illness when it comes to talking about it online or in reference to your favorite celebs#but when it comes to their IRL friends the same courtesy is never extended#they’ll never get it#i cant speak for other mental illnesses but i can say with absolute 100% certainty someone without BPD could never begin to understand#i will never ever forget that when you google ‘most painful mental illness’s’ BPD shows up#it’s a constant fucking fight every second of every fucking day#and people without BPD will think i’m lying or exaggerating#but ask ANYONE who actually has it and they’ll tell you what i’m telling you#all day long you’re having a fight with your brain#trying to figure out which of your emotions you can trust or which ones are just your brain making you insane#and don’t fucking get me started on the CONSTANT CONSTANT feelings of abandonment#and the constant need for validation because you convince yourself every couple minutes that everyone despises you#fuck#but then again it’s easy to feel abandoned when you literally DO get abandoned by everyone who pretends to care#like i’ve said before it’s easier to be alone in the end#because no one will ever understand and also i’ll never be able to stop being crazy or hurting those around me#my absence is a favor to all
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tenspencerriedplease · a year ago
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Not to bang on the ‘libido supplements are magic beans that don’t do anything’ drum but since I’ve had like 5 more people ask me about them since I made my last post on this subject let me impart some knowledge onto y’all:
DO NOT take anything called ‘pink pussycat’ that people are apparently freaking out over, we can’t even sell that shit in Canada. Why? Because its got a chemical compound in it that’s structurally similar to the active ingredient in Viagra, which, if you’re unfamiliar with the history of the drug, was designed to be a heart medication.
In fact, while we’re at it if you’re a woman don’t take any supplement that’s advertising some kind of mood altering drug, and if its labeled ‘Viagra for women!’ run faster. Let me be very clear: there is NO EQUIVALENT of Viagra for women, nor COULD there be. Its scientifically impossible because Viagra just gives the person who took it a boner. So, generally speaking, there can’t be an equivalent of Viagra for you on account of you don’t have the body part it makes erect. If someone takes Viagra for a low libido they now have a boner they don’t want to use.
The pill DOES NOT do anything for libido, it does not change men’s mood, it is not a miracle horny drug so it really chaps my ass that drug companies and apparently influencers keep pushing garbage onto women claiming it does the same thing as a drug that doesn’t even fucking DO the thing they’re claiming the ‘female version’ does. Its little more than a cash grab designed to make women feel like shit about the way they experience their sexualities, its pseudoscience at best in its current stages. These people are hocking snake oil. Maybe one day there will be a drug that makes you horny, but at the moment that doesn’t exist and if you meet someone claiming that it does they’ve taken a sketchy ass pharmaceutical drug that can lower your blood pressure dangerously if it doesn’t agree with your system so please, for the love of pizza and delicious pastries, DONT TAKE LIBIDO ENHANCEMENTS! For all genders, don’t take them! There are lots of men’s libido enhancements out there that are dangerous for you too. 
Don’t be a victim to a product that probably won’t work outside of the placebo effect and could very well have serious medical consequences.
#winters ramblings#of course i only hear this stuff out of women but when i looked up pinkpussycat#there were lots of mens suppliments in the list of things confiscated by whoever is the drugs police#there was a whole list but i was fact checking my boss on the pink pussycat so i only looked at it#and this didnt take long to find either so the fact that people keep asking me about this shit#is INSANE because the information is RIGHT there for you#i found it in under ten minutes and that included figuring out if my sources were good#to which id say they appeared relatively trustable though the second source i found looked much better than the first#which was where i found a whole list of suppliments and the ingredient in pink pussycat that got it pulled in canada#like we cant sell it because itd be considered an actual medication#so dont take this shit#like i feel like i shouldnt even HAVE to say dont take something a fucking INFLUENCER is talking about#their entire job is to INFLUENCE you and youre taking their word for it?#absolutely fucking NOT and we know they're always hocking dangerous diet shit to women too#so WHY these people have any kind of clout or trust is beyond me and anyone who pushes his garbage#is ALSO garbage- dont trust people who have a vested interest in making you believe something#this is why reading reviews is important- we all know you shouldnt trust the words coming out of the horses ass#so dont take any kind of fucking libido drug theyre all bullshit including the ones for men#but theyre especially bullshit for women given that they're marketed as viagra for wmen#when they literally CANNOT FUCKING BE THAT
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flintbian · a year ago
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Ha. You know what? I'm fucking tired of this
#im tired of caring more#and just because my pain is constant and forever doesnt mean it should be ignored and that i dont still feel it and that it's not hell#trust me im tired of it too but like the pandemic nothing is over bc youre tired of it or ignore it#and im tired of being ignored#im tired of me handling my pain and disability with grace being taken for granted#and like everyone forgets how i learned and continuously learn to do that through so many tortures#if i cried and raged every time i was in pain id be doing it 24/7 but i don't have that choice and after ten years me even barely taking#about it gets fucking ignored bc 'it's just the usual' but hey newslash it's still the most painful illness in the world#im still struggling and no one wants to even listen or acknowledge that and#god others cant even have a shred of empathy occasionally they dont even have to live through it#so im tired and frustrated and my therapist says the only way to release my anger and frustration is to talk about it but i dont#really have anyone to talk to...i mean ive tried#so this is going here now#maybe i just want someone to care and it seems im always the one who cares more about others than they do me#always being the one to care more to forgive to be the bigger person to handle it to bare it to reach out to quell anger to put them first#no one ever put me forward enough to even manage and now my entire body and soul have been consumed and ill never get any of it back#if someone had fought for me back then maybe i could've gone into remission#but even back then as a kid that the masses are supposed to care about the innocent victims even then no one did#no one cares about cases like mine we just have to grin and bear it or die#the people who were supposed to be there for me condemned me and nowadays I'm so good at grinning and bearing...#but even when i reach out...so im tired and want to stop trying#yeah others cant fix you and i dont think i could physically rely on someone else enough to do so#but is it too selfish to want a single person to care enough for once?#well whatever#im going to try find the will to live in a book#unfortunately for me all the ones i read recently sucked but aint that just the way with me
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pepprs · a year ago
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it’s kinda sad actually like. how badly i want to matter and belong (again not 2 make a work reference fhshfjshfkdj but whatever). like yes p*ople w*nt t* m*tter *nd b*long and that’s something we Know but its such an ugly feeling to want that so much. and like don’t get me wrong i always want it but i crave connection so fucking badly here and it’s been a long time since ive felt that hunger this degree. i know i have to work for it and hiding in my room isn’t gonna get me there but it’s like a self destructive cycle.... having no connection makes me tired and sad so then im too tired and sad to work for a connection. we hate to see it
#im supposed to trust the process. i know i know i know. but this is hard. and its hard to trust the process when ur so far away from what u#know and what makes u feel safe. i have absolutely no energy and everyonr came back from london for some stupid reason so now i have to#be social all weekend when i just wanna hide. ive been hidjng all day and it feels good and bad at the same time#also i just reached out to one of the coordinators here and asked if i can set up regular meetings w her instead of doing counseling here#which peobbalt is a mistake but its like. i just need someone to talk to who Knows. who can see this from the balcony and not the dance#floor. who can help me up to see the view. and thats what i have back at home with all the ppl i have it with and... ah. i know its fun to g#go theu stuff together but i need... i Need extra help. like thats just a thing i need. i cant function without it. its making me sick#it has always made me sick i guess. and lkke not sick judt... not myself. god not 2 crystallize insights in the tags but i just am so#Homesick abd its not that i want to go home!!!! i mean i kinda do but. its just i am staggered by how much is missing of myself when im not#there. and also by how much of myself remains when im thousands of miles away from it. i know my posts here have veen a trainwreck im sorry#and ppl are reaching out to me and today is one of those days where i dont wanna talk to anyone and Also i know exactly whats happening at h#home right now and its killing me that im not there in the office for it but. i am in a way cuz my heart is and also i just wanna be#comfortable with the ppl im living with and i miss my sister and the sound machine and the smell of my bed and the sound of the piano and i#need to stop thinking of what i miss cuz its driving me crazy but. ah. how can so much empty exist in this tiny body i guess or whatever#purrs#abroad
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