#i cant verbally express how happy i am right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

Text

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia

339 notes · View notes

comfyswitcherblanketfort · 3 years

Text

Pomegranate Seeds 3

well we got some BIG projecting going on here. if yall didn’t know i had mommy issues before, you sure as fuck do now 😂😂😂

Warnings: insecure Jask, allusions to verbally abusive/manipulative parents, lmao rebellious jask, good ole miscommunication between jask and geralt - but solved quickly, lol swearing

___________

Letter after letter reached Jaskier in the underworld, and time after time, he destroyed them. He didn’t tell Geralt, telling himself it was because the ruler of the underworld had more important things to deal with. He didn’t want to admit he was scared Geralt would send him packing.

Eventually, Demeter resorted to threats. Threats of famine that she followed through on. She underestimated just how like her Jaskier was, though. He didn’t dignify her tantrum with a response.

When she sent messengers, he started to worry.

He told Charon to alert him, not Geralt, if another god or goddess came to visit, even one of the more senior demigods. He didn’t want to take any chances. Geralt didn’t need to know anyway.

But Geralt noticed something was off.

Jaskier would say he was tired, or he couldn’t perfect a specific verse of the song he was writing. Usually it worked, but it was only ever a salve, never a cure, for Geralt’s suspicions.

“What’s wrong, love?” Geralt cradled him in his lap, lounging in the now lavish courtyard under the pomegranate tree Jaskier had brought back from the brink of death.

Jaskier nuzzled closer, “I’m just ti-”

“No, I asked you what’s wrong,” Geralt insisted, giving him a gentle squeeze and placing a kiss to the top of his head.

“It’s nothing,” Jaskier lied, hoping the sigh he accidentally let slip didn’t register, “You don’t need to worry about it.”

Geralt hummed and went quiet for a moment before he curled a bit tighter around Jaskier and whispered, “Do you want to go home?”

Jaskier scrambled up, sputtering and terrified, “Did she get to you?!” When Geralt just looked at him with an unreadable expression he started to panic, feeling hot tears welling up in his eyes as he did his best to keep his voice steady, “Don’t send me back. Please, Geralt. Anything but that.”

“I’d never,” Geralt soothed, standing and hesitantly reaching for Jaskier’s hand.

He eyed the offer warily, sniffing and trying to calm himself, “Then why would you say that?”

“I thought you were unhappy. You’ve been… acting strange.”

Jaskier ignored Geralt’s outstretched hand, choosing to wrap himself around Geralt’s torso and bury his face in the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry. I’ll be better tomorrow. It’s just, uhm. I’m just a bit off.”

Geralt instinctively held him tighter, “Jaskier I want you to be happy, not ‘better’.”

Jaskier just hummed, swallowing back his unshed tears.

“Who were you talking about?”

For a moment, Jaskier had to remind himself to breathe before he could respond, “Hm?”

“You asked if someone had ‘gotten’ to me?”

Tears spilled regardless of Jaskier’s best efforts, “My mother. She wants me to come back. She’s been sending letters and messengers.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“Never,” Jaskier insisted, “This is the most freedom I've ever had. I don’t have to hide in the treetops to feel any sense of calm, I get to make decisions, I make things grow when I want, for whom I want.”

Geralt ran a hand over his hair, resting it at the base of his skull and brushing his thumb through the little hairs behind his ear, “You don’t ever have to leave. I love you. I want you here.”

“I love you too,” Jaskier whispered, “I’m just scared.”

Geralt gently pushed him back just enough to look into his eyes, “There’s a way you could stay forever…”

The hopeful glint in his eyes told Geralt everything he needed to know, so he continued, “If you eat even one pomegranate seed you will be tethered to the underworld. You can stay and do whatever pleases you. But it is irreversible. One bite and your fate is forever tied to this place.”

Jaskier thought about it for a moment, searching Geralt’s eyes for something, anything, that could make the decision for him, “I could never leave?”

“Only if the both of us willed it and only for a short time,” Geralt explained, tenderly wiping his tears away, “I could never keep you here if you were miserable. Try as I might to think about anything else, your happiness consumes much of my thoughts.”

“Hmm,” Jaskier leaned into Geralt’s touch, turning his head to kiss his palm, “Do I need to decide right now?”

Geralt kissed his forehead, “Of course not. It’s just an option.”

“Okay,” Jaskier sighed, curling his fingers around the robes cascading down Geralt’s back, “I like it - the idea. I just… I want to take my time?”

“Absolutely.”

Time wasn’t something Jaskier was allowed apparently.

The two of them were just climbing out of a lovely bath when a chattering skeleton announced the arrival of a visitor.

Demeter stood in the throne room with her back turned to them, examining one of the glowing diamonds when they entered. She looked so small, almost insignificant. Her hair was in an intricate braid, she wore a cream toga, adorned with gold that made her look more like a savior than the horror she really was.

Jaskier gripped Geralt’s hand tightly and pulled them to a halt, knowing very well Demeter wanted him to speak first. It was a stand off he was familiar with. If he spoke first she had the upper hand, hearing his tone and picking apart his words. She always knew how particular her son was with words.

“Julek. It’s time to go.”

Her voice echoed off the stone walls as she calmly stated her order, not even bothering to turn and look at him.

Jaskier took a deep breath and squeezed Geralt’s hand, not looking at him for fear of crying, “No.”

“Playtime is over. You have duties. The humans did not prepare for you to leave. They’re calling it winter,” she snorted as if the idea was as ridiculous as standing on your head in a temple.

Jaskier grit his teeth, feeling the rage bubble up in his chest, “I don’t care.”

“Clearly,” She rounded on him with a condescending look of disappointment, “It doesn’t matter if you care. They’re still your responsibility.”

Jaskier took a step forward, “A responsibility you assigned me. You fixed it before, fix it now.”

“I cant.”

“Tough shit.”

Jaskier wasn’t sure how any of his words were coming out without sounding absolutely hysterical, but he was glad for it. He glared at her, daring her to try again while internally he was scrambling for a plan.

“For this particular magic, I need you. Seasons will take more work than a year round harvest, but you have set them off nonetheless.” Demeter’s voice was softer than usual, though Jaskier didn’t miss the incincerity of her words. She’d raised him. He knew her, probably better than she knew herself for all the introspection she refused to take part in, and he knew she was playing games.

"Oh? Are you no longer capable?" Jaskier laughed bitterly as he turned to walk toward the courtyard, "The great goddess of plenty and harvest can't sustain what she's built? Unfortunate. I am good at what I do here. I am so good at caring about the souls that end up in our audience-"

"Our!?"

"DONT interrupt me," Jaskier shouted, turned and stomped his heel into the ground making vines burst forth from the marble beneath them, wrapping around Demeter's waist and mouth, "I have also found I'm rather adept at torture when necessary. I love it down here! I love being able to right wrongs and show the righteous to Elysium. I love having a purpose to my actions, not just being someone's unappreciated trophy! And I love Geralt. He treats me so well and loves me so sweetly and wants only to make me happy. Nothing about your 'seasons' and 'bringing life' interests me in the slightest, Demeter. Because that's not who I am. I am rage and justice and I am to be feared, not manipulated. Take your failing crops and go." Jaskier waved a hand dismissively and the vines disappeared back into the ground.

Without looking back, he strode toward the pomegranate tree in the center of the garden, plucking a fruit from the nearest branch and turning to glare at his mother. Geralt was hot on his heels, glancing between the two but keeping quiet. Jaskier had told him he wanted to confront her himself, without her thinking he’d been told what to say. So Geralt stood by and seethed.

Jaskier pulled a knife from the holster in Geralt’s belt and sliced a nice section out of the pomegranate.

“Don’t you dare.” Demeter snarled, standing at the edge of the courtyard.

Jaskier smirked and peeled the white fiber from the blood red seeds with a casual sigh, “I don’t think your opinion matters much here.”

Jaskier flipped the knife in the air and caught it by the blade, maintaining eye contact with Demeter as he handed it back to Geralt.

“Are you sure?” Geralt’s voice was just a whisper as he took the blade.

Jaskier picked a particularly dark red seed from it’s home and turned to look at him, “There’s absolutely nowhere else I’d rather be, my love.”

With that he popped the seed in his mouth.

#geraskier #geraskier greek mythology au #geraskier greek mythology #geralt as hades #jaskier as persephone #hades and persephone #geraskier fic #geraskier au #the witcher fic #the witcher au #geralt of rivia #jaskier #geralt #jask #jullian alfred pankratz #god i wish i had a greek god sugar daddy to live with like jask so i could throw down like this #but alas #i live in reality

201 notes · View notes

smugraccoon137 · 3 years

Text

Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person.

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara.

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn.

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line.

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important?

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork.

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,)

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus.

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman.

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part.

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying.

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone.

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”.

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters.

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey.

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF.

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

18 notes · View notes

shuatoyou · 4 years

Text

lovebirds

request: boyfriend to be husband! vernon x idol reader being teased when he cant take his eyes off of reader.

genre: fluff

a/n: sorry it took me a while to get round to writing this, i’m a bit behind on requests atm as im super busy but i thought i’d finish this off before snoozing for the night <3 i hope u likey.

the set was especially chaotic this morning as everyone prepared for seventeen’s arrival, the big group would be appearing in the idol room where you would also be there to host for that specific episode.

once you walked in with your manager the stylists immediately sat you down to have your makeup done, soon enough the boys started coming in one by one and you straight away searched for your fiance who was also looking for you. the two of you finally met each other's eyes and hansol shot you a smile along with a wink causing you to smile at the boy before your makeup artist spun your chair around to face her, bringing your short, distanced interaction with him to an end.

you pout towards the artist making both her plus your manager chuckle

“i know your fiance is right there but you’ll see him again later” your manager speaks out from beside you and you only nod in response as the last finishing touches are made.

once everyones finally ready for recording you silently walk over and sit down at the side of the set away from the directors running through confirming things with the two main hosts.

“you ready?”

you look up from your script to see hansol sitting beside you on one of the cubes, immediately bursting with happiness at the sight of him.

“i am, how about you?”

“you’re gonna be there so i’ll be good” he smiles almost making you blush with his comment.

“come on lovebirds we have a show to film” con calls out causing you both to scramble up onto your feet super quick.

“so our guests will be announced by the one and only surprise host, y/n!” defcon announces welcoming you beside them.

you greet the viewers and immediately get to introducing the boys.

“without further ado i give you the group with never-ending members… seventeen!”

the members pile in, getting into a line all of them sending you a quick thumbs up like they’re silently cheering, you smile in response. hansol is the last member and he holds onto your gaze slightly longer.

“say the name, seventeen!” all thirteen voices spoke in unison startling you out of the zone you were in.

“woah. steady there or y/n will be having nightmares of that introduction for weeks” con teases making the boys chuckle at the way you jumped.

“seventeen it's been awhile right?” they begin to ask and you nod along feeling hansol's gaze on your face and there you have to pat your cheeks a few times to stop them from blushing furiously red hoping no one is currently looking at you.

“we’ve missed you guys of course, and you y/n” soonyoung speaks for the group and you beam at him.

“i'm sure you’ve all missed y/n especially the one over there who can't keep his eyes off our precious surprise guest” defcon jokes making all eyes avert to hansol who was now embarrassed and hiding behind jeonghan.

you on the other hand had nowhere to bury yourself so you tried to laugh it off even if the redness in your face was now visible.

“we should leave the lovebirds alone before they both burst and look at how red they've become,” seungkwan points out, making everyone laugh out again.

despite all the teasing you all got through the recording, everyone began sighing in relief and applauding each other on lasting through the long hours. hansol immediately came over to you giving you a big hug as his own way of expressing how proud he was.

“i have been waiting to do that all day” he said, voice muffled into the crook of your neck and his arms wrapped around you tightly.

“maybe you should've waited a bit more” you say pulling away before turning his figure around to see booseoksoon with their phones facing towards you both.

“you guys kinda looked cute,” seokmin says and hansol only glares at them before they all go scattering off into the dressing rooms with a huff.

“cant be nice to anyone these days” seungkwan yells out loudly on purpose so you both heard making you two chuckle at thought of today's events before he faces you again.

“can i take you out later?”

“you’re my fiance now love, i don't think you even have to ask” you smile messing up his hair.

“still… i’ll pick you up from the company around eight, i know you got a meeting before then.” he recalled to last week when you both updated each other on your upcoming schedules.

“fine by me” you respond just as seungcheol comes around to pull the boy away for their next schedule giving you an apologetic look which you wave off cooly seeing as it was both your jobs.

the two of you depart from each other with a wave almost like a non verbal promise to see one and other later.

288 notes · View notes

championed · 3 years

Text

re: the basically 2 minute scene of villanelle and eve dancing in the ballroom because i need to spill my villaneve thoughts somewhere other than my head and i refuse to write an essay in tags SO

i know you can argue that the s3 progression of villaneve going from the volatile bus scene to the tenderness of the ballroom scene doesn’t really make sense but like also idc?? villaneve are never really predictable anyways and we only get snippets of what eve’s been thinking during this series so im rolling with it

but it just destroys me how throughout s3 villanelle is reluctant and doesnt dance multiple times, and in the conversation before villaneve get up to dance they both talk about how dancing is an expression of being happy and carefree. Villanelle saying “i want to feel like that” k i l l s me because of s2 when she tells eve that despite feeling empty and bored all the time that eve is one of the few things (if the only thing) that makes her feel

So it’s so appropriate that 1) villanelle confesses again to eve that she wants to feel something 2) eve would give that to her and ask her to dance and 3) villanelle agrees

The awkwardness of them starting is amusing and endearing and funny and it makes sense because theyre both trying something new - physically and metaphorically (be happy and carefree) - that theyve never done together before

(i also just want to point out the moment where villanelle genuinely smiles and chuckles while looking at eve is so. theres no real analysis here it just makes me go feral every time because shes actually briefly happy despite everything thats been happening. anyways.)

Them slowly getting closer and more into the moment makes me ache because theyre finally letting themselves just be vulnerable together when it’s always been a power struggle for control every time theyve seen each other until now. like this was the first villaneve scene where i didnt feel like they were trying to get something out of the other to use or manipulate, they were just. equal. (“are you leading or am i?” “i have no idea.”)

villanelle watching an old couple dance near them and saying “do you want to be like that?” is such a loaded question because it could mean so many different things. Is she asking eve about being back with niko and growing old with him? asking if eve wants to back to being normal again? asking if eve regrets meeting villanelle? asking if she wants this normalcy with villanelle? etc etc

eve answering with “not any more” is like villanelle’s question: loaded with meaning. no, she cant see herself wanting to be back with niko. no, she cant see herself pretending to be normal again. no, she finally accepts that theres a monster inside her. no, she knows she can’t have that with villanelle.

“Why not?”

“We’d never make it that long. We’d consume each other before we got old.”

EVE’S RESPONSE. SIRENS. SIRENS IN MY HEAD.....

This is one of the few times in the entirety of KE where eve verbally says something romantic to villanelle. even tho villanelle is supposed to be the one with no emotions, i personally think she’s really the one with her heart out on her sleeve in villaneve’s dynamic. Eve is sososo closely guarded so to hear her basically confess this is. a lot.

1) eve’s hinting (and later confirms on the bridge) that shes thought of a future with villanelle 2) she’s thought about it enough that she knows they could never be normal and she’s accepted that 3) despite knowing that them orbiting around each other will probably end in their demise, she still seeks villanelle out constantly and can’t stop 4) by saying “we” she’s acknowledging that yes they are the same and villanelle was right all along

“that sounds kind of nice.” 😭 them finally being on the same page and villanelle still desperately wanting to have whatever eve wants

ending this ridiculously long rant/subpar analysis with villanelle confessing to eve that she has killed so many people because eve only saying “i know” back is. wow!!!!

Because like!!! villanelle is finally experiencing some type of regret over what she’s been doing all these years. shes realizing what she’s been doing is hideous and evil and just plain awful, and she’s starting to maybe hate herself for it and she wants to stop

So when eve says “i know,” she’s telling villanelle that she really does know. that she knows so many awful things villanelle has done to people around her and to eve herself BUT EVE IS CHOOSING TO BE WITH HER IN THIS MOMENT. Eve accepts her for who she is and is still around, which is a validation that villanelle has never gotten from anyone in her life (konstantin, anna, her mom, etc)

but yeah. this barely 2 minute long scene just means so much to me. you can argue it’s written like a fanfic but it’s just so beautiful to see a glimpse of soft villaneve and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands

#killing eve #villaneve #holy shit this is like 20 paragraphs #but this is literally my brain racing every time i see a villaneve scene #i just decided to finally write it down 😭#anyways.... im queuing this

15 notes · View notes

mousehole5000 · 3 years

Text

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.” CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well. okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

#tgcf liveblog #so close and yet so far......#i keep hearing tell of this fabled book 4 i must press onwards......#but now im sleepy.....#mouse mumbles

9 notes · View notes

papers4me · 4 years

Text

Fruits Basket SE02 (ep,2)

starting with teens in domestic lifestyle, then revealing horrible secrets, ending with a wise advice. GENIUS!.

-The development of verbal & physical body language between kyo & tohru:

Verbally: Tohru easily expressed happiness in spending time together. teases kyo abt the stain, asks freely abt his hate for water, his future plans. Kyo, in season 1 couldn’t believe tohru likes the cat, now he readily accepting her words. he used to avoid questions abt himself, now answers her comfortably without holding back, teases her softly abt her awful swimming technique.

Physically: Tohru doesn’t frets or gets frustrated, she cooks with him, runs around him in the way to Kazuma, touches his beads & doesn’t mind him touching her hands, she sits close to him comfortably while they talk abt swimming. Kyo, playfully giving her a teasing hit, comfortably tapping her head, holding her ribbons, fascinated with her hair, leaning forward watching while teasing her, he no longer gets frustrated in dealing with her. He completely trusts her with touching his beads, he didn’t even trust kazuma with that.

-The monster’s right to live?

The cage in ep,24 wasn’t exclusive for kazuma’s grandfather, it’s the fate of all cat zodiacs. What a tragic fate, Kyo living his childhood knowing he’ll be locked away, how crippling is that? No wonder he felt unfit for socializing in SE01,Ep2, monsters should be locked. for what crime? being born? Looking back to season 1, now I understand some of kyo’s actions. him getting angry is the culminated frustration of his fate, basically kyo is denied life. (a) dehumanized & called a monster, literally and figuratively, What does monsters do? cause harm, death! exhibit A: his mom’s death. A loving mother chooses death than to be with a monster. further proving that he deserves this fate, (b) sentenced to be imprisoned, with no hope, evidence: the many cat zodiac before him, no one escaped, & he won’t either. Potential (c), kyoko. So, that’s the message he’s given. NO HOPE. But kyo is a fighter, he wants to live, he’s trying, fighting against his own demons, the monster within, the monsters outside & fate. He stumbles here & there, fails & tries again, goes through toxic thoughts & actions, adopts toxic coping mechanism, & is still lost in depression, but he is trying & improving & accepting help, finally kyo accepts Kazuma & tohru’s help & thinks abt the possibility of a future, can I have a future? Am i allowed to?

-The Real Monster: Kyo’s dad doesn’t have an ugly form or rotten smell, decent looking, born a human, but he’s a monster within. The show awesomely presented kyo’s dad as sickly person, consumed by hate, unable to move on, cant enjoy the music he stacks, a broken record spewing hate repeatedly, shaking his legs with anxiety, such a sad hateful person contrasted with the calm collected peaceful kazuma. Kyo’s dad is a supporter of the toxic system within the sohmas. kyo’s dad didn’t invent the system, he’s honestly crushed by it! mocked & ashamed to be the cat’s father, the real reason the baby is conceived. In order to cleanse himself from the shame & the mockery of this toxic system, he supports it whole hardheartedly & wants it to be implemented to prove he’s not to be blamed. Ingenious writing choice.

-The writer’s ability to skillfully portray what other writers avoid:

This ep is a proof of the writer’s skill, The ability to portray normal domestic lifestyle without making it feel boring or redundant. One of the rare cases in literature tbh. Normally writers avoid such things & use dramatic instances to strengthen relationships. But kyo & tohru’s normal calm day in kazuma’s house is a huge foundation in their relationship. between them, tohru’s excessive politeness is gone & kyo’s reluctant awkwardness vanishes. Beautiful scenes weaved skillfully & linked with the scene at shigure’s house. Kyo doesn’t only see beyond tohru masks, he also could predict her emotions before she allows herself to. It also ties with other scenes in season 1. When it is tohru’s/kyo centered ep, the writer skillfully distance other characters & create opportunities for kyo & tohru to be alone (soup scene, true form), now (Kazuma’s visit, somen cooking).The tone: I have worries & you,too.You are not my guide, you are my equal. Simple & genius.

Side notes:

Kyo’s soup scene mirrors somen scene with tons of development. (Soup: kyo cooks, Somen: both cook), (Soup: kyo supports tohru, Somen: they Both support each other), (Soup: kyo reluctantly peeks at tohru withholding his emotions. Somen: Kyo willingly leans forwards & stares fondly at tohru), (Soup: tohru cries before she shares her worries, Somen: tohru cries as kyo saw her worries before she shares them), (Soup: kyo’s closing teasing line is said awkwardly, Somen: the teasing line is said fondly, with ease & a hint of flirting).

Tohru bowing for yuki as he goes to his room is interesting. Although they are becoming closer, she still treats him with a higher level of politeness, as he still calls her Miss Honda/honda-san.

I love seeing teenage girl tohru! in the true form ep, kyo was intentionally drawn to look younger around kazuma, here tohru acted her age with teasing, cutely explaining her swimming, running & falling, sitting cutely, playing with her hairstyle, crying into a kitchen napkin, nose dripping, the questionable “that made a nice sound”lol! There is no “ my mom advised this” no “ wise tohru”. just teenage girl tohru! playing, worrying, eating! Love it!!

Shigure can be the master of wise advise. He wisely advised kyo in SE01, EP, 2 & now tohru in SE02, EP,2.

That Kazuma’s flashback of crying depressed kyo is haunting.

Kazuma is a KING.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #satisfied paper #kyo sohma #Tohru Honda #SE02

28 notes · View notes

mrsmarymorstan · 4 years

Note

Hello, i saw your answer re animated scene you're most excited about. I have never been comfortable with the scene of Yuki thrashing Kyo as a way to knock sense into him re Tohru. the idea that physically beating someone is a good way to get them to learn a lesson makes 0 sense to me. I wonder what i am failing to understand re necessity of violence seeing as the majority of Kyo stans are so gleeful and ok with it?

Okay so I mostly use mobile so I missed this and have no idea how long it has been here... but I think you raise and interesting point so I’m gonna answer this now. This is gonna get HELLA spoilery so bare with. It’s ALSO gonna get rambly because I don’t know how else to be on the internet.

Point to keep in mind -- this is not a real world thing and fight scenes with emotions behind them are enjoyable to read/watch because they combine lots of different things we enjoy. Fast action, competition, emotional stakes, tension and passion and DRAMA! OH THE DRAMA! This does not mean that I support these actions IRL.

Now, in the terms of these fictional people in this fictional world:

What I think matters here is that Kyo and Yuki are ALWAYS fighting. Both verbally and physically, Kyo is always challenging Yuki to a fights because he has been told if he wins then he will be a member of the zodiac. Yuki rises to this challenge because he despises that Kyo WANTS to be in the Zodiac, and despises what Kyo represents i.e. a normal and happy life with a loving family. That isn’t to say that Kyo HAS that, but that is what Yuki sees. He sees Kyo being adopted by Kazuma and taken away from the Sohma Cage. He sees all the other zodiac members WANTING to spend time with him, and being allowed to do so. Even if he IS the cat, and they all secretly despise him and only spend time with him because he reminds them of how much worse they could have it.

Therefore, Yuki and Kyo have been gunning for a final showdown since the START! Fighting and violence is the only thing they KNOW how to do with each other. For Kyo, martial arts isn’t just about causing pain, it’s about controlling his emotions and finding a centre. He talks about killing Yuki but his blows are never designed for that. He says “I’LL KILL YOU!” but it’s teenage drama. Fighting is where they get out their emotions. It’s where Kyo can tell if Yuki’s feeling genuinely angry or not based on how hard he hits him. It’s really the only time before the school council that Yuki actually expresses how he feels. Thus their fight in C. 123 is this final pouring out of emotions and feelings that can finally be expressed.

What’s important to note as well, is that after the beach arc, Kyo decides to literally stop fighting. He won’t rise to Yuki’s taunts as much. He won’t actively challenge Yuki anymore. He’s given up! Meanwhile, Yuki has found his spirit at last and found what he wants to fight for! And Kyo isn’t fighting for it anymore. He’s given up and in giving up he has hurt Tohru! So yeah, I think from Yuki’s POV Kyo is in for a slap because of what he did to his closest friend! The woman who taught him how to love himself so he can do the same for others. And Kyo just... told her she was stupid for opening up to him and was disillusioned and then she ran away and fell off a cliff? YOU’D BE ANGRY!

So you have a broken Kyo who has given up on fighting yet still finds solace in martial arts, and a Yuki who is finally allowing himself to express his emotions and say how he feels. It makes for an interesting match up, and a fascinating conversation! This is the moment where they FINALLY admit to how they TRULY feel about one another. Kyo would NEVER have listened to Yuki if he was just standing there and talking, he’d walk away. So Yuki makes SURE that he listens! And it becomes clear in the language of their fight that Yuki is getting out a lot of pempt up emotions whilst Kyo is finally admitting his fears out loud.

This is them finally opening up about everything.

Now let’s examine some of the dialogue here. When Yuki shows up, Kyo doesn’t even look at him. He keeps his back to the door and stares out into the night like the angsty cat boy he is. All he says is: “Say what you want. Even if i was there... I’d only hurt her. I can’t protect her. She’s better off... with you.”

This is what it all boils down to. Kyo wants to protect Tohru, he cannot. Yuki has show time and time again, in Kyo’s mind, that he CAN protect Tohru! I rescued her and bought her back home when she was a child. He walks her home from work. He didn’t kill her Mum and then trick her into loving him. Yuki is all that is good, and Kyo can never match up to because he is the cat, and Yuki is the rat.

NATURALLY Yuki is angry about this because Kyo is everything that he wanted to be! And Yuki, who shut himself away. Who refused to speak. Who hid everything away inside a box with a tight lid... FINALLY let’s it ALL out. He tells Kyo how he feels about him and YEAH there’s punching because he’s ANGRY! And this is the way these two always talk about their emotions.

And yet in this fight Kyo barely fights back. He stands there and takes every hit, only responding to being called a “Stupid Cat”. Where he, again, finally admits to Yuki to WANTING to be like him. Literally, “I wish I could’ve been like that! Someone like you! I wanted... to be you!”

And Yuki’s face is just... beautiful in this moment. He’s shocked, he’s horrified. It NEVER occurred to him that someone like Kyo would WANT to be like HIM? So when he tells him to “cut the crap” it’s because he doesn’t know what to think anymore. And at last, through this conversation of misplaced anger and violence, Yuki too admits the truth and it’s JUST as shocking to Kyo. “It’s the same for me! I wanted... to be... like you!”

And they’re both trying to process this, trying to come to terms with their own truth and what it comes down to. And then they stop fighting. Yuki puts Kyo down, he turns to the side and says a line that DEAR GOD I love and have kept close to my heart all these years... “But... only you can be you. And only I... can be me. We cant be anyone but ourselves. We have to accept who we are... and face ourselves. We don’t have a choice.”

This is in part a lesson he’s learnt from Kakeru who has been searching for his own redemption arc alongside Yuki and it’s FASCINATING. But that’s for another post.

Anyway, Yuki then punches the door which is a step up for him! He tells Kyo that he was the person Tohru needed the most, and the person who was able to protect her by making her smile. This element of GIVING in a relationship is incredibly important to Yuki and it’s what makes Machi so special to him, because he can give the same things to her as Kyo gives to Torhu! In some ways, you COULD say that Kyo taught Yuki what it meant to be in love. But again, for another post.

So yeah, Yuki has Kyo’s attention now! And he tells him all of this truth that he has chosen to ignore all along. He controls his anger and Kyo listens. He listens because Yuki took that fight so seriously, given it more passion and anger than ever before and then STOPPED. There are these beautiful peeks and trofs that happen throughout and ARGH it’s BEAUTIFUL!

And you know what? Kyo listens. He walks away with his tail between his legs and goes to the hospital in bare feet. Because he has faced the truth now, and the truth HURTS. And now he needs to go and face the consequences of his actions and make amends to Tohru. He and Yuki are on even terms now. They both know where they stand. Kyo can take advice from Yuki, and Yuki can take advice from Kyo (though he doesn’t really it need it right now since he already subconsciously got that advice-- see loving Machi)

So, to conclude I guess, the scene is a favourite of scene is a favourite of mine and of many, because it’s the final emotional culmination of 21 volumes of drama and tension. It’s the final battle, and it ends in a conversation. Their language is violence, they have the biggest talk they have ever had in that language... and it ends in words. We don’t see Kyo lying bleeding on the ground afterwards. We see him walking away from Yuki and towards Tohru.

SURE Yuki plays him by making him believe the hospital is still open, but in his mind Kyo still needs some punishing for all he said to Tohru. And like... yeah. He’s KINDA right. But then we get parallels AGAIN with Yuki’s opening monologue in the chapter and Kyo’s closing one! ‘I wish I could have lived my life without making any wrong turns”.

It’s just... EVERYTHING in this chapter is amazing and beautiful and Kyo as a person NEEDS to have that information hit into him for him to ever listen. And Yuki needs to let his anger out in a way that isn’t as self destructive and aaOJbodgvehudjsmajknBHG!!! I just can’t wait to see this whole thing animated because if you just LOOK at a page of the manga SO MUCH is being said there in a single image of an eye and ADMKJNASHDGFTGQWUJikjhg!!!!!

Eric and Jerry will MURDER me. I will be DEAD. I will have drowned in my own tears. People will find my body and think that Izuko and Inko Midoryia teamed up to dispose of me. That is how many tears will be shed. And I will never have felt MORE alive!!!!

#Fruits Basket #Kyo Sohma #Yuki Sohma #Furuba Manga Spoilers #Asks #Anonymous

78 notes · View notes

faketextstuff · 6 years

Text

The Arrangement PT5

Summary:: You’ve never imagined yourself being a sugar baby but because of some playful friends and a stroke of luck, you find yourself with a man who is apparently willing to give you the moon and stars. The only problem is, no strings attached. Don’t catch feelings, don’t fall for a man who thinks money can solve all your issues and doesn’t want commitment outside of the contract.

Warnings: Angst

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

A/N:: I’m not happy with this chapter at all. I rewrote it 4 times and it still turned out like crap. I promise the good stuff is coming I just needed to introduce a few more people and give a bit of angst. I guess if you guys want a part 6 let me know. I’m sooooooo sorry this part isn’t good at all.

The next day went on as normal. Only a few texts from Yoongi throughout your day, a simple “Good morning, babygirl” and around lunch you got another text “Cant wait to see you tonight. Dont be late.” That was about it. He didnt call, to which you were glad. You were not allowed to have cellphones out at work but you still kept yours deep inside your apron at work. The closer it got time to get off, the more anxious you became. Were you really going on a date with your sugardaddy tonight? What was he expecting of you? What were you expecting of him? How was this relationship going to work. Your mind was a buzz with all the questions and causing you to become very distracted at work.

Shockingly today was much busier than a normal day. Your regular customers came in, but in the back booth near the restrooms sat a man you had never seen before. You remembered seeing him come in not long after your shift started and now you had been working for seven hours and he was still there. He had his laptop open and was busily typing away at something. It wasn’t uncommon for college students to come in and take advantage of the free Wifi your restaurant provided, but no one ever stayed for seven hours!

You chose to let the man be, and continue working the best you could. It was your last table of the night and you were carrying a tray full of half consumed glasses of red wine away from the table when out of no where, a customer pushed out their chair in front of you causing you to stumble and pour the whole tray of drinks all over yourself and the floor. A few droplets landing on the customer’s expensive looking white shoes.

You gasped, glancing down at your own red stained white shirt. “I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! YOU CLUMSY OAF!” The customer wailed, intent on causing a scene.

“I’m so sorry!” You pleaded, bowing your head deeply in regret. “Are you alright?” You asked, glancing up through your now wine soaked hair.

The lady who had bumped into you was a rather beautiful woman. She had dyed blonde hair and appeared to be wearing expensive clothing that you had only ever seen in magazines. Her face was caked in make up but she still looked amazing and very elegant. Her expression, however, was cold and unforgiving as she glared daggers at you.

“No I’m not okay!” She squealed as everyone in the restaurant grew quiet and turned to see the scene unfolding before their very eyes. “These shoes cost a fortune and your clumsy little ass just ruined them!”

You weren’t sure how, but you managed to bow even lower, your cheeks flushing from embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I can pay to have them replaced.” This caused the lady to scoff and wad up her napkin, throwing it in your face. “As if a lowly server like you could afford even half of what it’ll cost to replace these shoes. They were a gift! You cant replace memories!”

Her words stung and burned like a fire. You knew you were well off but did she have to insult you like that? In front of so many people. “I’m so sorry.” You muttered as your boss pushed his way over towards you and the irate customer.

He stood next to you and bowed deeply. “I am the owner of this establishment, may I ask what just happened?” He asked, sending you a glare the moment you decided to glance over at him. You knew right away he wouldn’t have your back. He never had your back and he had been looking for legit reasons to fire you. The two of you had never had a good relationship since the day you refused to put up with his sexual harassment. He didn’t take well to your rejection but you both had agreed to at least try and work in peace. He’d leave you alone and not fire if you never spoke of his failed advances. Of course he never did anything physical, just a few lewd comments here and there and lingering eyes that made you uncomfortable.

“I’ll tell you what happened!” The lady screamed, pointing a well manicured finger at you, a look of disgust etched on her face. “Your employee just spilled red wine all over my shoes! These are irreplaceable!” Her voice quivered now as she spoke. Clearly she was putting on a show for your boss who was clearly buying it by shooting you glares every so often.

“It was an accident, I didn't mean to ruin her shoes.” You muttered in a small voice, your anger was building up with each passing minute.

Your boss just held up a hand, signaling you to stop speaking that moment. The angry look in his eyes turning into something much more sinister. You averted your gaze to the floor and you were sure that you would be looking for a new job in just a few short hours, he had been searching so long for a legit reason and this woman's rage would fit right into his plans. “I apologize miss, we normally dont allow such foolish mistakes to happen in our establishment. Rest assured I will make sure this never happens again.”

The lady scoffed and grabbed her coat from the back of her chair, tossing the expensive material over her dainty shoulders. As she opened her mouth to speak, another voice came from behind you. “I believe you're overacting, Miss. It was clearly an accident on this young woman's part. Yours however is debatable.”

As you turned your head, you saw the man who had been sitting alone in the back booth all day walking up to the three of you. His smile was bright and very inviting, however his tone didn't match his warm friendly smile. His voice was dripping with venom as he spoke, standing right behind you. His dark gaze never once faltering from the woman's. You turned your eyes back to the women who had a deer in headlights look on her face, her face going pale. “Hoseok?” She muttered out, her body visibly tensing.

“I saw you watching this woman gathering up those wine glasses and you waited until she got right behind you to push your chair out. To anyone it would appear that you set up this girl to spill the wine all over herself.” The man spoke again, his head tilting to the side slightly.

“That’s ridiculous, Jung Hoseok!” The lady snapped back. Mention of the man's name caused the restaurant to erupt into whispers.

Your own eyes went wide and your head shot over to the man behind you, sure enough this was Jung Hoseok. You had seen him on TV many times, he was a famous dance instructor that was the head and face of many dance colleges and he worked with all the best idols, mapping out their dances. If anyone was dancing, it was normally to his choreography.

“I think I can provide several people who would agree that a childish stunt like this isn't beneath you, Caroline.” Hoseok's eyes narrowed and his tone lowered, making him sound much more threatening. “Shall I call one of them now? I'm sure he'd love to get this phone call.”

The lady, “Caroline”, quickly shook her head and grabbed up her purse. “No. That wont be necessary.” She spoke in a hurried tone before glancing at your boss. “I'll forgive this incident once, make sure this doesn't happen again.” She snapped before walking past you, intentionally knocking your shoulder with hers as she walked past, causing you to stumble back into Hoseok who placed his hands on your shoulders. Making sure you didn't fall.

Once Caroline walked out of the door your boss turned to you, his eyes burning with rage, “Miss L/N, please come to my office. I need to speak with you in private.”

“Hold on a second, don't take this out on her. She's innocent.” Hoseok once again came to your rescue, placing himself between you and your boss.

“It's okay, sir.” You spoke softly, bowing lowly to him. “Thank you for your assistance and sticking up for me.” Before he could open his mouth to speak you quickly followed your boss towards the back where you knew the fate that awaited you beyond the old wooden doors. Once inside and locked away from the public, your boss let loose a string of verbal assaults that had your eyes brimming with tears. He scolded you for being noticeably distracted all day, for being careless enough to clear a table that wasn't in your section that resulted in the scene that just unfolded. Every time you tried to defend yourself, he shot you back down with something else you had done wrong in the past, it wasn't a long list but with the venom in his voice it almost had you painted to be the worst server he had ever had the misfortune of working with.

“I swear to god, Y/N! I don't know where your head is but causing a scene today in front of everyone, especially in front of Jung Hoseok, is unforgivable! I know you've worked hard in the past but I cannot allow you to continue working here after something like that.” He sighed while rubbing his temples.

You brought your hands up and wiped away the tears that managed to slip down from your eyes. A soft sniffle coming from you. “Please don't fire me. I can't afford to lose my job right now. I'm already behind on this months rent...and last months. What happened today was an accident and it clearly wasn't my fault.”

“Your financial problems are not my concern! My only concern is making this restaurant grow and gain more popularity. How do you think it's gonna effect business to see if that woman leaves a nasty review of our establishment? I cannot allow this to happen. I'm sorry, but...” He paused, shaking his eyes as he pulled the paychecks from his desk, handing you an envelope that had your name on it. “This is your last full check from us. If you want, keep the tips you've earned from your tables, but that is all I can do for you. Please collect your things and go home. I'll mail you your final paycheck next week.”

You stood there in shock for a few moments before stepping forward, snatching the paycheck from his hand. “Don't play dumb, you firing me has nothing to do with what happened today. You wanted me gone since I refused to suck your dick for better hours. You can take this job and shove it up your stuck up, wannabe rich boy ass. Good luck finding an employee that'll work the shit hours you gave me for such little pay. You alone will run this place into the ground, not one crazy lady's bad review.”

You surprised yourself with the rage that flowed from you as you snapped at your boss who sat there slack jawed and wide eyed at your little outburst. You didn't even give him time to speak before turning swiftly and rushing out of the office. You had to get out of there, fast and now!

After grabbing your things, you ran out of the restaurant, angry tears falling down your face as you stomped away from the building. You didn't get far until you noticed Hoseok waiting by the curb beside a large black SUV, and he wasn't alone. Next to him stood the one man who weren't expecting to see, at least not for several hours, Yoongi.

Time seemed to stand still the moment his eyes locked onto yours. His expression was a mixture of anger and sadness the moment he saw you. He stepped away from Hoseok and slowly made his way over to you. His large hands going up to cup your face the moment you tried to look away. The pads of his thumbs wiping away the fresh tears that began to stream down your face. “Babygirl.” He sighed, tilting your head up so your eyes met his.

As your eyes met his, your lower lip quivered and unable to stop yourself you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him. You weren't sure why but in this moment, all you wanted was a hug from him. Something to comfort you and make you feel even an ounce better. You hated showing a man you hardly knew this moment of weakness but you were scared. You were now jobless and if you couldn't pay rent, soon you'd be homeless. You half expected him to pull away from you so you just held him as tight to your body as you could and buried your face in his suit coat.

He never pulled away, much to your surprise, instead he wrapped both his arms tightly around your shoulders and held you tight to his chest, his chin resting on your shoulder as he rubbed your back soothingly. “It's okay, baby. I got you.” He muttered softly into your ear.

“W-Why are you here?” You managed to ask, trying desperately to dry up your tears.

“Hoseok is a friend of mine. He called me and told me what happened. I was on this side of town so I had to come check on my girl.” He muttered, his fingers running up and down your back slowly causing you to relax in his arms. You found it odd that a friend of Yoongi's happened to be at your restaurant only hours after the contract signing but honestly, in this moment you could careless. You were just glad he showed up to check on you. “I can explain everything in the car. Let me take you home so you can get a shower.”

You shook your head and turned your head so your cheek was pressed to his chest, your ear right over his heart that you could hear was beating extremely fast. “I don't care, I'm just glad you're here right now.” You confessed. His arms around you giving you a gentle squeeze.

“I'll always be here for you, Babygirl.” He sighed before pulling away slightly, his hand gently taking yours as he pulled you towards his car. “Let's go. I want to hear everything from you in the car.”

Nodding, you slid into the open back door before giving Hoseok a sad smile. Yoongi went to get in after you but paused just long enough to turn towards his friend, his expression hardening for just a moment. “Find Caroline. I don't care what it takes, find out where that bitch is staying.” He hissed. You were a bit taken back at the tone Yoongi used but said nothing.

“I will. Leave it to me.” He nodded before shutting the door after Yoongi got into the back with you.

He instructed the driver to go by just telling him to go home. The two of you sat in silence for a long moment, his hand still gripping yours. You turned your hand so your fingers laced with his as you two just sat there both looking of opposite windows. Your free hand was wiping away the remainders of your tears before you turned to look at him. “Who is she?”

Yoongi sighed softly and lowered his head for a moment, not once looking over at you. “She's a virus. One that keeps popping up.” He muttered, just jaw clenching slightly. “Remember how I told you that the contract was to help protect you from my former women? Well, she's the main one.”

“Oh..” You muttered while glancing down at your hand that was still held in his, your heart dropping down into the pits of your stomach.

“Somehow she found out who you were and went after you instead of me. How she found you so quickly, I don't know. Normally she goes after me and tries to get in me a scandal. I'm so sorry. I intended on keeping you out of this. I didn't think she'd go as far as to show up to your work.” He glanced over to you and with his free hand, he placed two fingers under your chin and lifted your head so he could see your face. “That's why I had Hoseok watching out for you. I was worried about your safety. I came as soon as he called me saying she was there but she was long gone by the time I got there.”

“It's not your fault. My boss was looking for a reason to fire me, she just gave him the out he needed to get rid of me.” You sighed, scooting over closer to him so you could rest your head on his shoulder.

Yoongi stiffened and let out a low sigh of frustration. “He fired you? After Hoseok told him it was all her fault?”

You nodded and just sighed softly. “I came onto me once and said he'd pay me more and give me better hours if I agreed to sleep with him, of course I refused so he always wanted me gone since then.”

“I'll kill him.” Yoongi growled softly, his hand releasing yours as he wrapped his arms almost protectively over your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.

“Don't get upset. It was a long time ago.” You shook your head and nuzzled closer into his side, the chill from the still soaked shirt making you shiver. “He'll get whats coming to him in the end. One day some will put him in his place and he'll lose everything he's worked for. The only reason I endured it was because it's so hard for find a job these days.”

Yoongi moved so his head was resting on top of yours, his fingers playing with the sticky strands of your hair. “I can help you until you get back on your feet.”

“I dont want your money, Yoongi. I got myself into this mess I can figure a way out.”

This caused him to laugh softly and turn his head so his lips brushed against the top of your head. “Babygirl, you still haven't figured out this sugardaddy thing have you? I signed a contract to pay you and take care of you while you give me company. Helping you in what I'm going to do. I'm also going to protect you from Caroline. I swear she wont get close to you again. Once I find her I'm gonna make sure she's locked up in a nice padded room where she cant hurt anyone again.”

You smiled softly for the first time that day since you received his text messages and just closed your eyes. For a moment you felt better, like even though you lost your job, that everything was going to be okay as long as you had this man by your side. Which was an odd feeling for you since you had only just met him.

The rest of the car ride went on in silence until you found yourself back at his office building. “What are we doing here?” You asked with an arched brow, your head lifting from his shoulder. “I thought you were taking me home?”

“I never said your home, babygirl. You got to go in, get a shower and then I have a friend who is going to take you someplace nice so you can get ready for our date tonight. You've had a rough day so for the rest of the day you're about to be pampered like the queen you are until I come to get you.” He smirked slightly.

#bts scenarios #sugadaddy fic #bts reactions #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts angst

144 notes · View notes

rooneywritesbest · 5 years

Text

Sic Parvis Magna(Small Beginnings, Great Things Come)

As i look in this house i slowly reminisce about what has been acclimated in this familiar environment. This dulcet house that holds every emotion on the spectrum of life. 95 sterling st a diamond in the rough in my perception. The stable environment has given more memories to the rooney clan and the fellow tribes that were split from the tree of the rooney language. The fruits of our labor inhabit almost every field of work. Some say we have a tight grip on society as a whole. But this is my story, My name is Mr. B and im here to talk about how my life is a magical one that i would never change for anything. It started to dawn on me lately that if my journey on this world that we inhabit with the ocean blue as tears, and the grass green as the envy of people. I wouldn’t have done what i wanted to. The reason im telling you is because our society is one where we are a one incident away from igniting the flame on the tnt of mankind as a species. We sit back and watch the news slowly indoctrinate the public about verbal vomit being forced down the throat of ordinary people. But moving along i feel like i have a personal attachment to the higher ups of this world is because i was raised as a blue collar worker by my parents who do everything they can in their ability to support themselves and me and my siblings. But as i recollect as a adult in college. Im fulfilling thier wish they put on me the day into this world. I pay all my bills, i work two jobs, and still maintain a exclusive smile upon my face that usually evolves into a grin. But i never fall victim to the seduction of misery. Everyday i put my heart on my sleeve and now in the year of 2018 in it’s juvenile days of the year. I have been finally taking risks and putting myself out their, and not staying behind the crowd of people and using my ability of being a chameleon. One reason behind this choice is that because i have been told by family and friends that “you are one of a kind”. The tale of life writes a new chapter once a day it involves many figures me people who i interact with and surprisingly those who i affect in small ways usually equate to very prominent memories. I have been having dreams lately of events that i can’t quite make out but i feel in my heart it’s nerves or could be instances of the story i have been shaping this whole time actually. The dream is from the perspective of 1st person and it has been showing me different events i can put a name on. I think one was my five year high school reunion tbh. And another i think was a wedding of some sort. Also another thing i have been dodging in my soul is that i always put my friends before and i always will do that till the day i leave this plane of life. But i have been starting to feel comfortable in my own skin and appearance. I just wanted to write this and tell my friends and family that i'm very happy where i am at in life and i appreciate everyone’s concern for me wanting to be happy and i also wanted to say i'm getting a step closer to that every single day because i have seen so many come and go but also leave this plane due to events and problems they cant control. But just remember life is three things life is short life is unfair life is what you make of it. Thank you for everything. This is the rooney experience. I feel like what I'm trying to say is that in every place of humanity that their is a person who was like me once and wants to break out of the mold that society intends for them. See my journey as a person is a very interesting one because I went from being a nobody to the face of a city to the embodiment of a school to a expose on TV to the man I am now. I may be quirky I may be loud but I'm me a 100% that's for sure but one thing most people don't know it's all an act the real person I am is a family man enduring to others has a strong heart for friends and people but also a very high intellectual who has a passion for writing and expressing my personal emotion and feelings toward any avenue of life. I'm a singer I'm an impressionist I do what I do but what I'm trying to say is that don't be afraid to achieve what you want to do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise and just do you don't listen to people firing negativity towards you and in conclusion rise up and show society and the world and do what you were brought here for. Because pain is temporary pride is forever. And the thing about perfection is that it's unknowable but it's always right there in front of us. Thank you for your time my monologue from no shame tonight

1 note · View note

felques · 5 years

Text

Been awhile, right? Another fic snippet (okay, it’s a scene, not really a snippet) of this ToX2 work.

I’m still going back and forth on an actual title, so it’s still untitled. It’s basically Life Adjustments 2.0.

First scene (first half | second half) ~ Leia investigates a Spirius clinic

“You look good with a suit. I’d say ‘You look good with a tie,’ but you’re always wearing a tie.”

Ludger smiled as he eased out of the hug, the first note of a laugh escaping when he caught sight of Leia’s grin. Her happiness was so infectious, and that was one of the reasons he agreed to meet with her on such short notice—he needed the pick-me-up of an impromptu lunch.

But she was also a friend, and he always tried to make time for his family and friends.

“There’s a café just around the corner. It shouldn’t be too crowded this time of day.”

He led the way, watching Leia keep pace with him as they left the company campus. A few employees waved as they headed back to the tower after a late lunch, which he returned with a faint smile. Even if he was tired from all his work, he had promised to keep his chin up through the week.

“This is your first full work week, isn’t it?” Leia tilted her head up to regard him, her eyes brimming with curiosity. “You hanging in there, Mr. Big Time Executive?”

The teasing tone was enough to make him duck his head in embarrassment. Never in a million years did he think he’d be working as some sort of executive, taking calls and listening to presentations from department directors. It was just as surreal as the first time he’d heard about fractured dimensions and the Land of Canaan. “I’m surviving. Sitting behind a desk for hours on end is pretty different from traveling all over the place. And that’s without getting into … you know.” He made a vague gesture with one hand, as if that would encapsulate the whirlwind that was corporate life. “Office politics.”

Leia made a face, patting him on the elbow as they turned down the street together. “I can only imagine. A lot of things happened really quickly.”

“Spirius is used to moving quickly.” It wasn’t quite a defense of the company, but more of a verbal shrug at the comment. “We’re just trying to shift everything around so everyone who wants to stay with the company has somewhere to go.” It was the least they could do, considering the circumstances.

“I’m guessing that includes Rideaux.”

The unexpected namedrop made him frown. “That’s oddly specific.” His friends didn’t know that many Spirius employees, but he would have thought any of those few would have been mentioned before Rideaux.

“I-- uh, ran into him earlier today while working on an assignment.” Leia was quick to supply an explanation, probably because of the way he reacted. “He was working in a medical clinic. I researched it enough to know it was ran by Spirius, but I didn’t expect to see him there.”

“He’s got a crazy schedule.” It was the first thing that came to mind after hearing where Leia saw him. “He’s apparently the only person to have had an administrative assistant before being made a director.” That fact helped him understand why Rideaux respected his work ethic, even as he antagonized them during Origin’s Trial. “I don’t know where he spends all his time, but doing a shift at a medical clinic doesn’t surprise me.”

They put their conversation on hold as they reached the café, jostling each other over sandwich and drink choices. Leia teased him about treating her out with his exorbitant salary, but still pulled out her own card to pay for her half of the meal. With the majority of the lunch crowd cleared out, they snagged an outdoor table and relaxed while they waited for their meals.

It didn’t take long for him to notice the way Leia drummed her fingers against the arms of her chair. Her eyes were not wandering in the way he often saw when she was bored, so he went with another guess. “Restless?”

“I guess?” A nervous laugh trickled from Leia’s lips as she focused on him. “I brought up Rideaux for a reason, but we kinda got sidetracked.” He nodded in understanding, canting his head in silent apology as he waited for whatever else Leia wanted to say. “I-- Well. It sounds really silly now, thinking back. I should have followed up or did something other than just leave…”

The words were really stuck in her throat. Ludger frowned and tapped the table, trying to help Leia find something else to focus on other than her thoughts. “I’m still in the dark here,” he eventually reminded her.

Leia slumped against the back of her chair, reaching up and hiding her face behind her hat as she groaned in frustration. “Sorry, sorry…” She took a deep breath in what looked like an effort to ready herself for whatever torrent of words she was going to unleash on him. “It’s strange, but as I was leaving the clinic where Rideaux was working, I happened to see someone familiar. Completely unexpected, too. It-- He looked like Wingul! And I feel silly for not hanging around long enough to confirm, but I had to find you and be sure we’re not-- you know, in another dimension or something.”

Ludger wasn’t quite sure how his expression was changing as he listened to Leia, but he figured it did not do his internal confusion any justice. He was only somewhat familiar with who Wingul was, considering the brief and often violent encounters they had through missions into fractured dimensions. He was at least firmly aware that Wingul, along with the rest of Gaius’ former bodyguards, was supposed to be dead.

“Well…” He trailed off, trying his best to smooth out the confused frown on his face. “I can assure you we’re not in another dimension, at the very least. There’s absolutely no way. Remember, you always had to be with me and Elle in order for the jump to happen. And this is the first time you’ve seen me in … what, two weeks?”

Physically, at least. In spite of his busy schedule, he still tried to chat with his friends during his downtime and during lunches not otherwise swallowed up by business meetings. He watched Leia take a sip of her iced tea, going back to his sandwich while he waited for her to collect herself.

“So that means … if that was in fact Wingul…” Leia shook her head, clearly dazed by the idea she was entertaining. “If that was him, he’s alive. He’s been alive.” She leaned back in her seat, her expression clearly overwhelmed as they looked at each other. “What am I supposed to do with this information?”

Ludger grimaced. That was a tough question. “I’m sure you want to tell the others, right? Especially Gaius.” Leia nodded, scratching at her chin in thought as she slowly collected herself again. “How about I go back with you and we can confirm with the clinic? …With Rideaux, that is. I guess.”

“I’d appreciate it. Immensely. Maybe Rideaux won’t be dismissive with you around.”

Despite the smile Leia flashed at him, Ludger sighed into the lip of his glass.

“We’ll see.”

#tales of xillia 2 #fic snippets #it's always xillia

2 notes · View notes

the-little-red-noodle · 5 years

Text

12/6/18 12:49

I want to write but i dont know what to say.

i feel so much but im not doing anything. i have feelings that i want to talk through but i cant grasp them yet.

im so tired and my eyes hurt and my heart wants to love so much more than im being given opportunity for. i have so much love to give but nowhere to put it where it will be received in the way i really want. i’ll never admit it, but i just want someone who will mirror that love. i just want to feel like im appreciated and that those efforts are seen and appreciated.

I just want to love and be loved in an enthusiastic way. And i feel like this a lot more when spencer and i are apart and i have to rely on his text voice to fill that little space in my head where i overthink about our relationship standing. That’s not to say that i never get my feelings hurt when we’re together in person, because yeah it happens, he’s a boy and he says dumb shit sometimes. But it’s so much less.

When we’re together in person, at least i can guage a little more where we stand. I can feel that he’s happy and i excite him. Sex is always good so i don’t really worry about that domain. I’m a very sexual person and i usually initiate things and will be more verbal about what i want or complimenting him and making it feel very explicit that I’m attracted to him and enjoying things, etc. so i feel like sex is coming easy to him. Like we don’t have any sexual inhibitions other than just like timing or if I’m on my period. But whenever I’m on my period, like today, i just go down on him anyway because it’s fun for both of us, and i think a little bit subconsciously it’s because i want to make sure he stays satisfied with me.. like i don’t want him to feel like he needs to go anywhere else for that kind of satisfaction because he can always get off with me and that i do things enthusiastically, which i do. I genuinely have a good time being sexual with him in any context because i do feel so attracted to him and so like.. into it.. like even on my period when i usually feel the least sexy, he comes over and makes me feel like such a queen.. like we’realways touching each other and so close and it’s always pretty high attraction energy between us which keeps me pretty enticed all the time..

it’s weird but it’s not. Cuz like i know that I’m a very sexual person. I like sex. I enjoy having sex for me, and i like the physical feeling and the connection to people. I like being intimate and i love being intimate with spencer for a lot of reasons.

I think a big part of it is his aloofness most of the time keeps me pushing for it. Like he’s so precious and beautiful and giggly and all that. Like he’s adorable and he looks at me sometimes like I’m so gorgeous.. like today he came over for like 2 hours and we just cuddled and teased each other.. the entire first hour was a standoff of who could hold out longer, which is funny because if i weren’t on my period, 100% i would lose first. But since he didn’t know i was on my period, i just ran with it and played this game with him. It’s so fun to tease each other and taunt the other person to make moves..

i just like messing with him cuz theres an innocence to him that i really like.. and part of that is that he is just objectively attractive, like conventionally but also just like to me, he is so perfect.. like his bone structure and his cute little features, and he’s tall and thin and i just think he’s crazy attractive. It’s honestly kind of annoying tho because i can’t ever keep my hands to myself. Like i just want to touch him constantly and have my arms around him..

Now i miss him..

Ugh wait i want to talk about jealousy. Because this is something i got back and forth on a lot in my head but overarching isnt an issue, because i don’t bring it up. Like i have insecurities, who doesn’t. And something i worry about is just him finding someone else that he likes better, and in reality, i feel like that would come from a friend confessing to him, and he’ll either be in love with that person or he’ll be a pushover and be with them cuz he cares about people and wants to make them happy. I worry that i won’t have as strong of a hold on him as id like to think that i do. And i mainly worry about this with his friend Ali, because they are super close and I’ve seen a couple times now where she like needs to talk to him and talks about anxiety and needing him.. so when i hear about it theres a twinge of jealousy because i imagine her like confessing that she loves him and that seeing him with another girl was too much and he should dump me amd be with her..

Yes i know i sound crazy, I’m aware. But that’s why i write this shit on tumblr so these thoughts never see the light of day. Because of course i would never bring this up to him, because expressing these insecurities does nothing but put tensions on his friendships, and i would hate if he did that with my friendships with guys, or girls (don’t bi erase me) and it would be annoying if i wanted to hang out with someone that he was jealous of because of course i would want to make sure he was super comfortable and that would probably cause me to see them less, and that’s not what i want for him because frankly i like his girl friends more than his guy friends, and theyre better influences on him anyway.

Still, theres something about this girl that makes me nervous sometimes. I think it’s just that she seems affectionate with him and expresses needing him, which seems like the way you treat a boyfriend or a guy you are affectionate with because he likes you but you’re friendzoning?

That too, i don’t know how these girls friendzone him. Like he is so gorgeous it makes me angry. He is so gorgeous, how do people look at rhis gorgeous man and go ya he’s just a friend. Like what?

Anyway, idk what to do about my feelings about ali. Part of it too is that i find her attractive, and someone i was low key crushing on last year, so now i see her super close with my partner and I’m like silently growling because i know shems attractive, and she would know what a prize spencer is, so that’s the insecurity.

The reason i don’t say anything is because i feel like at our age, theres a level of maturity and understanding. Enough to where if you are in a relationship, but develope feelings for someone else, and those feelings suddenly have an outlet and that person wants you back, you should be honest and breakup with your partner and pursue that other thing. Like ya being cheated on would suck, and getting dumped would suck, but at the end of the day, we’re all just people and romance is messy and i feel like if this girl confessed to him and he wanted to be with her, he should be. Cuz like theyre friends for a while and must know each other pretty well, and if he had strong feelings like that for someone else, who am i to hold him back?

But the point i was making is that even if this girl or any other girl expressed interest in him, that doesn’t mean he instantly sleeps with them and dumps me. Because id like to think that he and i are doing pretty well at the moment and id like to think he’s happy with me and wants to be with me.

When i get insecure about this stuff, i like to think about this thing he said a while ago. He said that he was single for 2 years, and just wasnt dating, and that when he saw me, he was like “her”.

I like to think about it in a serious way that like he’s known these females for those 2 years, and that if he wanted things to happen with them, they probably would have already happened. And i like to think that he was immediately attracted to me, and that first night when we met and kissed and he asked me about italian food because he wanted to take me on dates when we got back to school.

Those two things he said mean a lot to me and keep me relatively grounded when dumb insecurities want to carry me out and get lost in the sky.. i want to believe that he chose to be single for a while, or just didn’t hard pursue anyone for a while, but then with me he just wanted to date me or knew i was girlfriend material. And honestly that’s so fucking cute..

And i feel good about us now in that sense too when we talk about being friends. We’re both pretty adamantly like i think of you as much more than a friend and when i was jokingly like oh so you want to be just friends? And he was so sad like i mean.. if that’s what you want.. but I’m very happy with this” and just hugged me so tight..

Like i know I’ve got him, ya know? Maybe that sounds confident, but i feel like i got him.. i feel like i suit him pretty well and that I have the qualities he wants in a girlfriend. Or at least id like to think so.

So when i get insecure, i remind myself of these things and remind myself of when we were both complaining about exes who got jealous of our opposite sex friends and how annoying it is to be accused of sleeping with your platonic friends. So i know how dumb it would be to ask if he likes Ali, or if he ever has liked her in the past, because what if he has? I used to like Patrick, and he used to like me, but that doesn’t make us incapable of being just friends right now, so it would only hurt me to know that. And if he did currently like her, maybe he’ll say something. Or it’s not a big enough deal to him to mention it.

I just gotta trust him. I gotta let myself trust him and trust that we’re both adults and that he is capable of having platonic female friends, the same way i am capable of having platonic friends with anyone.

I think that’s as much as i can write for tonight. Gotta get sleep and get work done tomorrow.

Xoxo gossipgirl

#samiswriting

1 note · View note