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#i contemplated hard abt whether i would make this the daily or not
pothosrays · 3 years
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crow 63
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mingyaus · 5 years
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most h8td
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pairing lucas x reader
summary Sincerity. Honesty. When is it too much? You contemplate whether you’ve crossed a line with your soft mans bf lucass. 
genre fluff and only real angst if u think abt it too much
word count 1.2k
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“Wait why do you always talk so trash about him?”
“Him? Your boyfriend? Wait, I mean your ex-boyfriend? I told you it would never last.”
“Shut up. At least I was the one who stopped it.” Jihyo rolls her eyes and glares at you for bringing up the topic of her latest failed relationship. “But back to what I was saying! Your boyfriend. I don’t even know if I should call him your boyfriend though with all the bad things you say about him. Do you like him at all?”
“Lucas?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Who else are you dating? I swear to God, you don’t deserve this boy. If you knew all the hard work he puts into everything he does for you. You know that surprise party for your birthday? Yeah, he called me up multiple times trying to get all the details right. Once he did it during his like dumb two minute lunch break, like what type of boss gives a 2 minute lunch break? But he puts so much effort into your relationship and you just talk trash about him all the time!” She’s rambling, talking fast. It’s like she’s using your relationship to cope with the loss of hers. But you don’t blame her for being concerned. You really do trash talk Lucas at any opportunity you get, though she doesn’t know how you’re like when it’s just you and Lucas (which actually ends up with you two trash talking her ex or trash talking your exes).
“He talks bad about me too!” You try to think of a time, but huff. “Wait, nevermind. He’s too sweet.”
“Yeah, see. Treat him better before he leaves you.”
And that warning Jihyo gave stayed in your head for like two weeks when you finally decided to do something about the guilt that was building up in your stomach. That guilt ended up manifesting itself into cramps during the first day of your period. This day also happened to be one of the few days both you and Lucas were able to pull time out of your busy schedules to hang out together. Though your aching stomach and his deadline induced headache forced you two to stay cooped up in Mark’s (who last minute had to fly out to Vancouver for something he didn’t have enough time to explain to you, but he did have enough time to give you his keys and ask you to house/catsit) apartment.
“I’m sorry we have to stay here. Your place is nicer.”
“I know, it’s really nice.” He’s not being modest, but he deserves to brag because with all his hard work and networking skills he was able to be the first among your friends to get his own place. No roommates, no loans. He smiles taking a seat on the loveseat facing the coffee table with Mark’s 15-inch laptop serving as a TV screen. “At least, he stayed logged into his Netflix account for us.”
“I don’t think that was for us, but I don’t mind messing with Mark’s queue for our entertainment purposes.” You plop down sitting close to Lucas as he leans forward to create a guest account.
“I’m not that mean. That’s why I’m making this separate account.” He grins back at you as he searches for something to watch. You don’t argue like you usually would. It’s that guilt kicking in. And that guilt stops you from making a comment when Lucas finally chooses something, leans back, and starts grabbing your thigh in that freaky strangely non-sexual way he does with everyone.
The next time you say something aside from “Bathroom break!” is when your one of your legs has fallen asleep, and it’s all tangled up around his body because you two get so wrapped up when cuddling. On the tip of your tongue is “Get up, loser, I need to stretch my legs.” But you’re not going to say that because the guilt Jihyo planted in you, so instead you make up this other dumb excuse.
“Hey, can you just stand up, and can I just hug you?” You ask in the nicest tone you can conjure up right now. He shuffles trying to look into your face, and now some part of his body is rubbing against your dead leg and just making everything worse than it should be.
“Uh, but we’re laying down so comfortably.”
“But you’re just so tall and nice to hug.”
“Yeah, but I feel so comfortable with you like this.” Somehow, he gets his long arms around your torso and squeezes you tight.
“But I need a hug.”
“I’m hugging you right now.”
“It’s not the same.” You pout, and simultaneously try to shake your leg, but you can’t. “Please, just stand up.”
You two go back and forth whining at each other like this for a few more minutes until something that Jihyo would probably scold you for slips out of your mouth.
“You should just stand up and hug me because that’s what good boyfriends do.” You curse. You’ve broken this unsaid promise you made to yourself to be nice to Lucas for at least one night. He’s still looking at you and can clearly see your true frustrated expression.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” He looks concerned, those sweet puppy eyes looking into yours.
“I—no.” You sigh, looking down avoiding his prodding gaze.
“What’s wrong?” And you explain to him the whole conversation about how verbally abusive you can be, and how the guilt has been affecting you, and how you’re starting to think you don’t deserve Lucas. He’s laughing a little by the time you're done explaining everything. “I’m not that good of a boyfriend.”
“Eh, I mean you are. You write me daily notes and when you can’t give me them physically you hoard them until you can fill an envelope to the max with them and mail them to me. Like who does that? Like who wants to pay for stamps?”
“Okayyy. I guess I am a good boyfriend.” You finally have the courage to look at him again and see his face smiling and bright as ever, obviously still overjoyed about the praise.
“Don’t let that get to your head.” You snap, but kiss him on the cheek showing the praise still stands.
“Okay, see.” He raises his eyebrows at you and pulls away so you can see. “You know your limits. You aren’t abusive, you’re just honest. I know you love me.”
You smile, and spend like a few minutes kissing him before feeling some tingling in your leg reminding you it’s asleep. “Wait, okay, I actually need to get up. My leg fell asleep, though I would still appreciate that hug.”
He shakes his head.
“But, Lucas! You’re supposed to be a good boyfriend.” You whine.
“I am, you just told me. Don’t tell me you were lying!” Lucas is mocking shock.
“You’re great, but I love your hugs.” He pulls you into a sitting hug, and you pull away, though no one can escape his long arms. “Your standing hugs.”
He pouts, looking at you sadly. Then he lets out a yawn, his breath hitting your face. As you’re cringing he gets up and you hear the bathroom door close. You get up, upset that he would get up without giving you that hug you’re now craving for real.
“Lucas! What the heck?”
“I guess I’m just a bad boyfriend.” You can hear the smirk in his mouth from his muffled voice behind the bathroom door.
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author’s note yeah, it’s kinda named after that jay park song, but i’ve never read its lyrics so idk if it has anything to do w it *shrug* :)
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