#i contemplated light censorship but thats where most of the comedy comes from in this case

[wheatley-imagine-scenarios]

English Roads

Why not just have a bunch of these in one post?

Wheatley: People think that all British people do is drink tea, eat crumpets, and talk about Harry Potter all day, it ain't true. WE SIT IN FUCKING TRAFFIC-

Wheatley: There's some beautiful parks in this country, beautiful parks where you can just sit for hours and enjoy the view. *cam view reveals he's hardly moving in heavy traffic* THIS ISNT FUCKING ONE OF THEM

Wheatley: Sorry I haven't made any vines recently, the reason is that me and Chell took a drive down to the shops *reveals traffic* TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO

Wheatley: Americans drive on that side of the road, but in England, on this side of the road, we sit here and DO FUCKING NOTHING

Wheatley: Alright, I got another joke. First, an American walks into a bar. Then, an Australian walks into the bar. Then, the English guy, well, HE CANT FUCKING MAKE IT

Wheatley: British motorways, they have zero deaths, zero crashes, zero FUCKING MOVEMENT-

Wheatley: British countryside, sometimes you can sit here's for hours and look at it. Also, sometimes you have NO FUCKING CHOICE

Wheatley: I was going to make a vine today, but something happened: THERE IS NO TRAFFIC, AND THE SUN'S OUT!

#is this in character? #not very no #but is it hilarious? #to me yeah #i contemplated light censorship but thats where most of the comedy comes from in this case #but human wheat definitely hates traffic #and driving in general actually #wheatley #human wheatley #portal 2 #incorrect quotes