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space-ninja-fashion-show · 1 year

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Actually, TNW thoughts up until the end of the Fortuna/Orb Vallis section

The Kahl, Veso, and Teshin segments were an absolute blast. Did I suck at them? Yes. Honestly I'm still surprised I never died as Teshin. But they were a breath of fresh air in a game that's yet to grow old for me in the first place. Also the UI design fucks

I really wish the Veso segment had mode puzzles and less combat tho. Would've made for a nicer spread of combat-puzzles-movement between the three segments. Also Veso combat just wasn't all that fun, I'm sorry. Especially not the Jackal which was a good bossfight in theory and an absolute clusterfuck in practice

Local Lavos Enjoyer liked the Teshin segment the most, as news to absolutely fuckin no one

The fast sequence of the Operator lunging after Lotus, transferring to their frame to bullet jump, grabbing on, then transferring back out and holding onto the frame for support when Lotus slips from their grasp absolutely slapped and I love how well it showcases just how much the Tenno are in tune with their frames and essentially use them as extensions of their own bodies

Sidenote I'm still not over how i managed to create perfection at the end of the Second Dream with only wardrobe changes since. Every time Kohlrabi appears I am filled with so so so much affection. Belovedest child

me, when playing the railjack bit: look, my crew are here too! :D me, now: oh god, my crew were there too D:

Sirocco fun. Radar ability fun. What in the hell and fuck is going on otherwise

sib: just treat Drifter stuff like you would Operator missions is the best advice i have me: i WISH i could void yeet

I keep trying to aim glide as Drifter. This is not good for my health (literally)

hhhhhhhhhhh???????

I love Drifter Kohlrabi actually, their voice acting is a fuckin delight and they can say swears now

I'll probably change their hair later bc i don't think they'd keep it the same after all this time (however long it's been, I keep estimating a decade but no clue) but they're keeping the purple mohawk for the quest

I have NO fuckin clue what's going on. Best guess right now is that whatever saved them from death after getting stabbed and thrown in a fuckin void hole or whatever did so at the cost of their void magic, which is why they no longer use a frame or yeet around or do any other Typical Tenno Shit

Also y'know considering the Tenno are all supposed to be dead and gone and those with free will seem to hold no warm feelings towards them, it's good to lie low anyway

At least Nora is still around ;-;

How the fuck do they expect me to progress with this quest when instead I can just run around in the camp and watch my funny lil burrito boy float to catch up with me

For Narmer absolutely destroyed me. Bro what the fuck. Also that the route you sneak through Fortuna very specifically takes you through most of the NPC spots to really drive it home that Your Friends Are Gone

Sib says the next segment is gonna be fun as hell so we shall see tomorrow

#kata's chatter #literally the only reasons i had to look forward to this quest are what comes after #like aoz and thus arbies #but holy shit i am having so much fun #the new war #quest thoughts #oc: drifter north

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taeilskitty · 3 years

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Hey there! I saw that you open for a request so here's what I thought : what kind of sound did nct make when having sex? Are they more into whimpers, groans, or maybe dirty talk? Thank you so much for answering my question and hope you have a good day!

i was BORN to answer this omg. lemme tell you, i have thought about this so SO much!! (i'm leaving chenji out of this bc i don't know how people feel about that yet)

anyways, i hope u enjoy and i hope this matches what you had in mind <3

taeil

oh fuck. taeil is most certainly a groaner. i think (and trust me, i've thought a lot) he must make these gorgeous low moans like right in the back of his throat if that makes sense - have you ever heard his bubble voice messages? oh my god, they're so fucking hot. his raspy voice in the middle of the night is just to die for. that makes me CONVINCED that he dirty talks super up close. even thinking about it makes me shiver :(( he's the king of praise, i just know it. i think he degrades too, but his favourite is when he mixes both together - "you look so pathetic there baby, how cute." "daddy loves his pretty slut so much." "god you're so fucking good for me, my cockslut~" taeil also asks things, i think that suits him so much. "yeah? you like that?" "is daddy's cock too big baby? shh, i'll be done soon..."

taeyong

whiner. whiner. undoubtedly. this boy has the sweetest, prettiest little moans... he gets all high pitched when he's close and oh god when he sinks into subspace he just mewls and his voice gets so weak </3 little "yes" and "a-ah thank you"s slip out because he such a good kitten. he's so precious... and if he gets asked to speak while he's getting fucked he just squeaks out an answer. "m.. love it... ah..." n he will never fail to say his please and thank yous - he's so well mannered even when hes getting used !!!

johnny

this is just. oh my. i think he's silent for the most part. heavy breathing and quiet grunts and groans until he's close. THAT'S when he starts moaning, all sorts of things slipping out. "god you're so good" "i love this hole so much" ahh??! i think he talks down too. fuck !!! daddy!johnny is so patronising, and not just outside of the bedroom. kinda like taeil, he asks things, but he makes u feel so dumb and cock drunk :( AH AND he like... coos when you feel all dazed from his cock... "awh~ is that good? you like that don't you sweetheart? yeah, i know."

yuta

i have this vision of yuta just SLAMMING from behind with his face right up in your ear, telling you all sorts of dirty things lowly with just the hottest voice ever. he's very vocal about what he wants, and he loves cumming inside... so expect him to talk about that. oh, he is so fucking possessive too. "hmm. mine. this is mine. you're mine." he probably bites your ear/neck when he says it... the grunts that come out when he slams are enough to send anyone reeling, but i bet he tells you "fuck. gonna. gonna cum in my fuckdoll--" n his voice just trails off as he fills you up and sighs<33

kun

now kun is !! an interesting one !! ... i envision him as a pretty hard dom, so i don't think he's any stranger to degrading. that being said, i think he's more talkative when he's giving punishments (e.g. spanking over his thigh... heaven<33) rather than when he's fucking. i think he moans lowly, semi-quietly but as he gets more and more pent up he gets louder. (i think this is the case for most of the nct doms but oh well) he'll praise how good you make him feel - assuming you've been behaved enough - but that doesn't stop him from cursing under his breath at every chance he gets ,,..

doyoung

definitely has pretty moans !! he probably does whine, but i mean that in a dom way - if that makes sense? higher pitched moans but not pathetic, in fact it's probably paired with him whispering "fuck yes, good [insert ur fave petname here]". i think he's the type to kiss you a lot during sex and like... moan into your mouth; any space not taken up by the sound of moans will for sure be filled with the sound of his panting and his tongue dancing with yours.

ten

another semi-whiner. i always saw him as a dom but i'm sliiightly succumbing to the idea that he may be a switch... which is why i think there's so much BEAUTY in his moans?? ten makes really pretty, breathy whines and moans i'm sure, i don't particularly think he talks a crazy amount but rather short instructions. (yes i'm going back to dom!ten) "turn around." "get on your knees" "quiet." AH !! he always lets you know what he needs - however, sub!ten will just whine and squirm till you make him cum because he is most definitely a slut who takes anything:(

jaehyun

first of all, this man wrecks me to the fucking core, and i could talk about this for... a while. but his moans are definitely like, raspy high-pitched type. think about his vocals. esp in try again... i bet you they sound like THAT. i'm sure he talks a bit too, tbh he probably says rather textbook dirty things but it sounds so fucking hot when it's him. "yeah take it, take my cock" "fuck yes just like that", he loves how you whine when he moans right up next to you btw - it just makes him do it even more. oh, and bonus - he will never call you ANYTHING without prefixing it with my or daddy's. daddy's girl, daddy's boy, daddy's pet, my dirty slut... ahh<3

winwin

it's almost contrasting to jaehyun but sicheng's voice is so low. i can't explain this in any way other than that he's kitty, but his moans are so... puppy? and when he's fucked, he makes himself sound so dumb too. he's constantly slurring his words and biting his lip because he's trying to keep quiet but anyone who walks by the room will hear "mm.. m!!" because he just can't help himself :( when he's close he probably squeaks like taeyong and cums all over the place GOD i want him

jungwoo

oh god there's no doubt that jungwoo talks SO much during sex. he probably loses his fucking mind with how good he feels. he's such a good boy but sometimes you just need him to shut up - but he can't. he squeaks out a little moan when you push into him, or when you start touching his cock, but withn minutes he's babbling non-stop; "oh god oh god mommy/daddy i love it so much, a-ah like that, please~"

lucas

my brain used to be convinced that xuxi was a dom, but i'm now sure he's a switch. either way, his moans are pretty much the same. they're very heavy and... i guess manly is the best way to put it. in my head i can literally picture him being like "ughhh..." when you start fucking because he just feels like he's wanted to fuck you so desperately - yes, even if you fucked hours before. it's always so breathy and moany and i think he sounds like a bit of a fuckboy tbh... "fuck yeah" as he slides his cock into you? THANKS

mark

loud baby loud baby LOUD BABY:((( no matter how much you cover that pretty mouth of his he will be so LOUD!! he can't stop talking and whining and panting, kinda like jungwoo but honestly... more. he swears a lot too. he tries not to but he just can't help himself :( "aw shit... god shit!!!" under his breath UGHHFDGGDFDD SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SCREAM !!! he's very polite though, so he always says sorry every single time :( he babbles like hell when he cums, he can't stop himself, again like jungwoo. "i'm gonna cum i'mgonnacumi- i'm -- ah fuck, shit--!!"

xiaojun

two words. action figure. everyone knew that was coming, HA - i'm sorry but THAT verse means we all know how he sounds. i think he tries his best to talk normally while you edge him but his little voice keeps on wavering and cracking and just... he can't help but sound all pretty and pathetic :( but surely dejun has some (very frequent) moments where he can't keep his front anymore and just whines like a whore because it feels so good<3

hendery

the things i'd let this man do to me:))) i think at first he'd actually try and hide his moans because he feels like that's what he's supposed to do, but no. for me personally, i know i would NOT LET THAT HAPPEN !! he probably sucks the air in through his teeth in an attempt to hide it - it's very fucking sexy when he does that, granted - but he can't keep doing that for long. i think he hums and laughs when he can't keep it in any longer because he almost feels some kinda defeat but then he just moans semi-loudly and lets out a "good girl/boy/baby... let me fuck you, huh?"

renjun

renjun scares the fuck out of me. why? because his moans are fairly quiet. he's master and it S H O W S. he grunts quietly, maybe muttering things under his breath like "so fucking tight" "mmh there you go..." to fill some silence but he does it subconsciously; he goes so far into domspace sometimes that he just can't control himself. when he's close he talks through his teeth and he's like "i'm. i'm gonna cum baby..."and the more you whine on his cock the more he just laughs at you because he's a sadist hhhhhhhhhhh.........

jeno

most definitely a fun one... you see when he's sub, he pants and whines and drools all over himself like a big dumb puppy boy and he just breathes so heavy n his moans are all shaky... if he's a brat he will try and talk big but he can't take it, he just gets so pathetic and !!! but dom jeno is fucking TERRIFYING because he talks down and tries his best to intimidate you. he chuckles and degrades you, but one of his faves is when he can big himself up under his breath. "look at you now. you love this fucking cock."

haechan

this isn't good for my mental health :) i fucking cannot TAKE this brat :) AHA! hyuckie is honestly such a whore, he's bratty and rude and always talks back at you like he's the king of the fucking world. he's constantly laughing at you and trying so hard to make you feel like you're not worthy but he feels so good he just gets fucked dumb by you :( he is SO loud too. he wants everyone to hear what a dirty whore he is and he makes sure he puts on his prettiest pornstar moans. he whines like his life depends on it. on the off chance that he's being a good boy, he begs and cries and whimpers when he finally cums - and i mean CRIES. sobs. he'll be heaving by the time you're done with him, but god he fucking loves it.

jaemin

fuck... fuck okay... well firstly he loves to talk. we all know how much he praises and how he's constantly showing his love off... that doesn't stop at fanservice, nope. he will fuck you like a ragdoll and keep calm and composed as ever, talking down to you as if you're in his lap for a soft cuddle. "baby loves nana so much hm~?" "oh you really love that don't you?" "you know you're so pretty. nana wants to cum in you so bad~" yes, he calls himself nana because he's a cocky fuck and loves how it sounds. especially when you're moaning it for him.

yangyang

i'm kinda in 2 minds about this... on the one hand, he's kinda like hyuckie in that he whines a LOT. but he can actually keep his composure - he's a breathy whiner, he's not quite as loud and he most certainy doesn't crumble as easily. (that's not to say that he can't, he most definitely can.) on the other hand i think when he's in a more neutral headspace rather than subby, he talks to you like a total fuckboy. not in a mean way but he's just like "hah. i know you love me fucking you like this." he gets so cocky and he sucks hickeys into your neck and hums quietly<3

shotaro

he's such a shy baby :( he wants to moan so much but he probably gets all self conscious and tries to hide it... so you gotta make him feel safe :( when he does he whimpers and it's so pretty and pathetic. the way he wells up with tears and hitches his breath is. adorable. he whispers "thank you... ah..." every time he feels that good and by the time he cums it's just falling from him like a waterfall :( the more comfortable he feels, though, the sluttier he can get... he will always be a good boy but i think he lets his whore side come out every once in a while <3

sungchan

last but most certainly not least, yet ANOTHER boy who pains me to the core. i think sungchan whimpers too. THERE I SAID IT. his cock is too big for his own good so he just... needs you to do SOMETHING to him :( he always sighs at first, maybe hissing just a little but then he gets to a point where he's quietly whimpering because he just needs to cum so fucking bad <//3 "need it... p-please..." he's always nervous to use titles but if he wants to cum he has no choice :( when his dom asks please who? he blushes bright red n mumbles a little "please mommy/daddy... 'm so good..." and god yes he is he deserves it so much ugh<33333333333333

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tellthemirrorwhostheprettiest · 4 years

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LOVE ISN’T JUST A HEART SHAPE (II)

Genre: Angst

Character: Baekhyun x reader (aera)

note: please play the song of kelly clarkson - piece by piece, and you will know what the meaning of this chapter :)

I want to love her longer. even its just for tomorrow.

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A week past by. A week without rusty boy and his mullet red hair. Now the spot is completely yours, no need to share nor to hide the blush. Did you say, blushed? No you did. Why do you have to blush? Maybe because he always sleeping peacefully you couldn’t even being angry with him, just admit it. Another voice. This voice always get the nerves on you. Why did it said that?

I AM ANGRY. He took my place. You said inside your head. And the battle begin.

When? It replied, calmly. Because it knows you, more than you know yourself.

Some… when. It happens. You stuttered, while thinking the last time you get angry with him who took your place. Or maybe the first time? You lost in remembering when was the last/first time you ever mad with him. On the first day? It can count as ‘angry’, cant it? You deep in your thought don’t realize you just brought your fat ass to the spot he likes to sleep. Not realizing theres another soul right there, watching you with amused eyes and silently.

HHHHHHhhhhh you sighed. Just like there is a 100 ton weighted down on you.

“whats with the long face, babe?” someone said suddenly beside you. You shocked, didn’t aware of your surrounding.

Its him! Someone said merrily inside your head, like kids seen their santa on christmas day, or just like a girl who seen his boyfriend after a long time. WAIT. Did you just say a boyfriend? You must be sick. Yes, sick of that Byun-boy. Said another voice. You had a battle of yourself, not recognize you nearly make a drool of yourself.

“ah, so it’s the expression I got after one week apart. Maybe should be longer, then maybe I got the kiss” he smirking by the view of your mouth agape. You realized of what he said, immediately close your mouth, if could digging up your grave right now in this moment. Tint blushed appear in your white cheeks. Trying so hard to hide the shame just because his comments.

He tilted his head, looking at you endearingly. Cute.

“was the blushed because of me? I know I have those effect on girls” he said cockily, tried to masked his true feelings.

“shut up” you said, don’t know anything that should be said in this kind of moments.

“shut me up with your lips then” he said nonchalantly. You feel annoyed from head to toe, its just adding flames to your burning desire. So you stomped your foot and start walk away.

“see you soon, princess” he said whilst lay his body on the rusty bench. And start to drift away.

You already on the door to down stairs, when looked at him full of dagger.

“you wish” as you stated bitterly.

Yes, you wish. You wish you never see him again. Never see the part of him that leaves you breathless. Never see those tears in his eyes. Never see the picture of your future inside those chocholate brown orbs that drowning you down. Never see him again, is your best choice. Or should you say it aloud? Are you really don’t want to see him again? Is that what you really want? You don’t know either. Because right now, you just knew the badboy whose hair red, and rebellious boy who always annoyed you, at the same time, set sparks into your dull life.

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Its Thursday night. You bored in your house, so you said to your mom you will go to hangang river, to let loose everything that stressed you out.

Hangang river was the best place to seek such tranquility. Alone and nights. Perfect combination on this perfect day. You walking alone with your white hoody on. Its quiet luckily. You just passed by few people, or couple.

Then you stop at some point. Leaning on the railing. Thingking several things. Such as your friend, your school, and last, your dad. Where would you be, if he is still here. Maybe he will be there on your graduation picture, will he?

You were just wondering, what your life could be if he still in the picture. If you had known the feeling of being lived by a father? Should you said he is your father, when in fact he never be near of it. A father should be there, when his child is born. A father should be there, when his child took their first step. A father should teach his child to ride a bike, shouldn’t he? A father should be stay, at least. But he never did. He never once.

All you remember is your mom crying, in her room at nights, thought that you already sleep, which you don’t. she holding a picture, of him. A shabby 90’s picture, white and black, of her and him. At that time, full of love. Full of promises. Though it s a lie now. Your mother trying so hard to fill the void your father left you. Another emptiness who eaten you up slowly. Another question, why did he left your mom alone.

Did he ever want you? A question you asked to your mom in sunny day, which made your mom silent and then she goes to her room and crying. After that day, you never asked. Not even on father’s day while other kids are on their father shoulder, and you alone at the kindergarten waiting for your mom to pick you up. When suddenly this kid, whose name you forgot, asked you where’s your father. You just sat there silent, and tell her to shut up. Yes, she running with her eyes, telling her mother that you a mean girl. Who would have known that the real mean girl is her? Heck, you just a child who grow up without a father.

And your mom. Your lovely mom, being so hard to become the best mother and father for you. And until this day, you promised to yourself. You would give your daughter, a figure of father that you didn’t have a chance to captured. You will never waiting for someone who didn’t want to being hold. You will give your kids a chance to have their father made a piggy ride for them. A someone that put family first more then himself. Someone that entitled as a father. And a father could stay.

And all I remember is your back Walking towards the airport, leaving us all in your past I traveled fifteen hundred miles to see you I begged you to want me, but you didn't want to

Piece by piece I fell far from the tree I will never leave her like you left me And she will never have to wonder her worth Because unlike you I'm gonna put her first And you know, he'll never walk away He'll never break her heart He'll take care of things, he'll love her Piece by piece, he'll restore my faith That a man can be kind and a father should be great

You sing with your ached heart. When no one listening, or so what you believed.

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Baekhyun’s POV

you heard it. You heard it clear as crystal. Someone who’s broken. Who’s heart is shattered into pieces. Like a heart wailing to be held. Like someone waiting to being cured. But you don’t have the cure either, because you’re just as healthy as broken pipe. Broken, rusty, shabby and hollow. The emptiness in your heart going bigger every time.

But still you want to getting know where those melody comes from. So you followed the voice. And you saw it. Someone, with hoody on covering his body. Her back turned on you, you could say it’s a she because her voice it’s a girl. you dont know who she is, but you know one thing. The voice, full of sympathy. Full of grieve and sorrow.

What have been done to her, you don’t know either. But its deep wound, from the sound of it. Like asking for help. You sat on the nearest bench, not wanting to interrupt her sadness. For the first time, you felt you are not alone. There someone like you, who feel the constant pain in their heart. Who being left for whatever choices the grown up had. Then you see the sky, you could see stars. Not much, but you can pointed it.

There’s one star, which the largest and shone the brightest. But you can be fooled, stars are born, live and died. The most massive stars, live shorter. The most beautiful things, will meet their ends. And so does those stars upon you. But it still beautifully, eventhough it has shorter life.

We are all made of stardust. That’s the true. We and the stars are contemplating the same universe.

We are all made of stardust. You repeated it in your brain.

We share the same world, maybe the same fate. We shared the same sadness. I hope you could heal, so the world seems brighter for you.

I hope your happiness, girl.

You put the strawberry milk you just bought 10 step behind the girl. Hope she likes it.

You walked away, not wanting to interrupt your privacy. If only you know, what ends is, you would never let her go. You would hug her from behind, and tell her everything’s going to be okay. That you will stay, no matter what. That you would never leave as her father did back then. You would be the father of her daughter. You would stay.

You would love her for longer. Forever a bit too much to ask. Just a bit longer, even for tomorrow. And the day after. And day after that. Just a bit longer.

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#baekhyun angst

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kingofattolia · 6 years

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a list of things about Star Wars: The Last Jedi

TLJ felt like watching two completely separate movies. .. . one i deliriously LOVED and one i spit upon and shake its profane dust off my sandals

THE GOOD

“ive got an urgent message for General Hux” “YOUR REBELLION IS DOOMED” “yeah... im holding for General Hux”

it straight up took me a minute and a half of this scene to figure out this was actually the start of the movie. it felt like one of those pre-movie skits where it seems like a movie but then anthropomorphic M&Ms tell you to turn your cell phone off. was it just me or were there a LOT more comic moments in TLJ compared to almost every other star wars movie? anyway i loved it even tho it gave the movie a slight someone-made-this-while-high-on-LSD feel

Leia USING THE FORCE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

R2 playing Luke the “you’re my only hope” recording of Leia, i almost died

FORCE SHENANIGANS. we saw more powerful, dramatic, and varied uses of the Force in TLJ than we have ever before seen in a live action media and i was L I V I N G

“you’ve closed yourself off from the Force”

Rey and Kylo’s foRCE BOND TALKING like this.. . . is so interesting .. . and it wasn’t only Snoke doing it because they did it again after he’s dead...

Rey lifting 30 giant fricken boulders without even breaking a sweat after having one (1) single “training” session

Kylo remotely activating Anakins lightsaber

projecting himself........ across the entire galaxy. . ..

Yoda. in the former EU the Force ghosts had a non-negotiable expiration date a certain time after their deaths. Obi-Wan couldnt just come back and visit Luke forever, he faded away at some point. is this no longer true??? DOES THIS MEAN ANYONE CAN COME BACK IF THEY WANT??? why was yoda so physical even as a ghost that he could whack luke on the head

summoning lightning like alright this is a new Jedi power im adding to my arsenal

Leia’s mary poppins action

Luke vaulting across the cliff to stab fish

POE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he turned from a kamikaze into a leader who's able to see the big picture and walk away, im so proud

everyone..... messing with Hux...... i loved this

Snoke smacking him into the floor

Kylo smacking him into the wall

Kylo force choking him

slowly taking gun out. . . . . HES AWAKE ABORT ABORT... slowly putting gun back . . . Hux is going spend every waking moment wishing he took that shot

Finn's character arc, like what an awesome Slytherin. the contrast between him and the codebreaker 👌👌👌👌 & where he makes the choice REBEL scum 👌👌👌

LET'S GO, CHROME DOME

i cant believe Phasma died again lol. her backstory novel was SO DRAMATIC and she just dies over and over

when Kylo does that little skid out into the hallway to look for Rey

Chewy breaking down Luke's door

when Luke kisses Leia on the forehead . . . .

kylo KILLING SNOKE I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY. IM SO

this had to happen, it was so obvious but i didnt think they would actually do it, Snoke was so boring and useless, i am SO GLAD they didnt drag him out..... I AM SO HAPPY HES DEAD

it was truly awesome... i couldnt stop grinning it seeing it the 2nd time... "I CANNOT BE BETRAYED, I CANNOT BE BEATEN, I CAN SEE HIS MIND" & then he narrates the entire process of Kylo killing him i was LIVING. everyone theorized for so loooooong and so hard about what form Snoke's control over Kylo took and how it would be possible for him to break it,, , , and then he just DOES IT JUST LIKE THAT by SHEER MISDIRECTION FOLKS I AM SO ALIVE

THE TEAM UP FIGHT

i love lightsaber fights so much i would very nearly give up my critical integrity for a single awesome duel and this was,,, so awesome

when Rey drops her lightsaber to catch it again and cut that guys knees out from under him

when Snoke is cut in half and then the lightsaber rockets towards Kylo and Rey's hand SHOOTS INTO THE FRAME to catch it 👌👌👌

when Kylo takes on FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE

"THE SUPREME LEADER IS DEAD" "long live. . . the supreme leader .. "

not gonna lie, i am such a huge fan of supreme leader!Kylo. CAN HE EVEN LEAD ANYONE??? DOES HE HAVE THE CAPABILITY?? HONESTLY WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO? WHAT WILL HIS SELF-DIRECTED MISSION BE? VADER NEVER GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ATTACK DOG, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING TO HAPPEN

I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IM SO HYPE TO FIND OUT

THIS IS BRAND NEW

"finn! rose! you're not dead! where's my droid"

the little slave kids from Canto Bight. did the kid at the end use the Force to pull his broom!??!

"that library did not contain anything the girl Rey does not already possess" Yoda thinks hes so funny. REY STOLE THE LIBRARY LMAO... thanks Rey... im glad someone around here has a brain...

the Falcon swooping in to draw off the TIEs on Crait

"OH, THEY HATE THAT SHIP"

Vice Admiral Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze. . . aside from the drama of the moment & making Hux look stupid, just visually it was awesome

absolutely every single thing said by either Hux or Kylo in Kylo's command shuttle above Crait

"i want every gun we have to fire on that man"

"blow that PIECE OF JUNK oUT OF THE SKY"

when kylo's like "concentrate all fire on the speeders" and then Hux immediately shrieks "CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THE SPEEDERS" and Kylo looks at him like 🤔

"do you think you got him?"

when Luke faces Kylo

WHEN LUKE FACES KYLO

this scene makes the movie for me honestly. as of now im in a state of uneasy ceasefire with TLJ and the sequel trilogy as a whole. if the scene of Luke facing Kylo did not exist, TLJ would probably be dead to me

"did you come to SAVE MY SOUL" "no."

absolutely everything about Luke was so completely epic in this scene. even though he barely said anything, even the way he stood was epic. im not sure how Hamill did this but it was everything i ever wanted

"i failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." "i'm sURE YOU ARE"

the contrast between Kylo's fighting stance and Luke's

when Luke steps out from the massive cloud and duSTS OFF HIS SHOULDER

this fills me with so much pure glee i could literally ascend

"if you strike me down in anger, i'll always be with you. like your father."

the slow, dawning horror when Kylo starts realizing Luke's not actually there

"see you around, kid"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

my favorite line in the WHOLE THING i could Scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

when Rey slams the door in Kylo's face

THE BAD

Luke should have LIFTED HIS X WING OUT OF THE WATER WITH THE FORCE AT SOME POINT GOSH DARN. i knew from the moment we saw the submerged x wing that this moment was meant to happen.... but then it DIDN’T. like PLEASE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE THIS

the casino subplot. . . it was awesome for Finns character development but couldn’t he have developed character over an actually materially relevant story arc.. . .

BB-8 didn’t fight Dark BB-8 like what the hell honestly

for what earthly reason does Kylo need to wear his pants up to his armpits. is he TRYING to look like a doofus

why wasn't Lando the master codebreaker. like quite frankly, give me one good reason. why. no. there are no good reasons. when is Lando going to come into it you cowards

honestly....... what the FRICK was that horrible backstory behind what caused Kylo to turn

WHAT THE FRICK

im trying to keep my cool but this is a huge, enormous, and vital problem i have with this movie and whoever came up with that should be shot

Luke, in a brief moment of insanity, ignited his lightsaber over his sleeping nephew's bed to assassinate him because of a vision

LUKE SKYWALKER the guy who wouldnt believe that DARTH VADER, ENSLAVER OF WORLDS, SLAUGHTERER OF CHILDREN, MASS MURDERER OF THOUSANDS, was a lost cause and who refused to kill him, TRIED TO KILL HIS APPRENTICE IN HIS SLEEP

like... do you see my problem?

character assassination. it is ludicrously greater-than-Anakin Skywalker levels of overreaction to a Force premonition that Luke would see a vision of darkness and instantly move to slice his sleeping, defenseless nephew in half, and even in Luke's version of the story Luke is legitimatly the bad guy. he brought about the future he was afraid of, just like Anakin

because of this background, every interpretation is blown wide open to reasonably see Kylo as the victim and Luke's actions as those of a villain. of course he had to defend himself? it's legitimately possible to construe the subsequent killing of the other students as self-defense as well. if they wake up to find Ben having "killed" Luke? anything could have happened, Kylo could honestly have done barely anything bad up to this point and have been driven to the dark side on that one night

it's going to take.... so much work.... to walk this back. obviously Kylo's a villain now, because of what he's chosen to do since then, but for Luke to come out of this not looking like trash, they would have to provide SO MUCH more backstory including the "dark" things Kylo had done to make Luke suspect him, and have him probably be actively seeking darkness while under Luke's tutelage. and then Luke still seems like a fool and a betrayor

maybe they WANT Luke to come off as a legitimately bad person? i've seen some interpretations of TLJ as tearing down "legends" by showing everyone as flawed people, teaching the lesson of not deifying people to Rey AND the audience as well. if thats true and they actually want me to believe Luke is not worth believing in, i'm sorry but i reject that

luke skywalker is not a bad person

rey said "you didnt fail Kylo, Kylo failed you" WHICH... its true that Kylo failed in all his actions after this. but if this is the unmitigated truth about what happened that day, Luke definitely failed Kylo, thats not really arguable

i spit this backstory out of my mouth and stomp on it

bye felicia

"the legacy of the jedi is failure and hypocrisy. at the height of their power they allowed darth sidious to come to power and wipe them out" ok true. "it was a jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of darth vader" YOU TAKE THAT BACK

a related point..... Luke is a coward.

i'm not saying that the only kind of Luke i would accept is HEROIC LEGEND LUKE WHO BURSTS FORTH FROM HIS ISOLATION AND SINGLE HANDEDLY DEVASTATES THE FIRST ORDER. but at the same time, his isolation is NOT in any way comparable to Obi-Wan's. "i came here to die" ok buddy.

dying is all well and good, hiding from your failures, being broken for a while after taking a hit like that

what i am NOT able to forgive is how he abandoned Leia

???? the frick???

"so many losses, i can't take any more" "sure you can" STORY OF LEIA'S LIFE

"im from the resistance, your sister Leia sent me" boy when she says jump you better say "how high?" honestly YOU OWE IT AT LEAST TO YOUR GUILT TO DO THAT FOR HER

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE? SHE'S ON HER OWN DEALING WITH EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE GALAXY AND HE'S DOING WHAT? YOU'RE TELLING ME LUKE WOULD HAVE ABANDONED HIS SISTER LIKE THAT??? AND WHEN SHE SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR HIM HE SAYS "no frick u" ?!?!?

if that's Luke Skywalker then Luke Skywalker is a useless coward

that is not Luke Skywalker

honestly everything Rey said was spot on "Leia sent me here with hope. if she's wrong then she deserves to know why. we all do"

the overall thesis of the sequel trilogy seems to be "there's no point to any of this"

a powerful student turns to the dark side and destroys the Jedi Order. an authoritarian regime destroys the republic and takes over. a small band of resistance fighters rallies against great odds. a Force sensitive from a desert planet teaches herself the Force from old Jedi books after her teacher evaporates into the Force after teaching like 1 lesson. everyone Leia loves dies

guys... i'm tired

it's just exhausting. what is the point? in the sequel trilogy we've seen the republic destroyed, the resistance decimated and harried from place to place until theyre down to 12 people on the millennium falcom. there's only one movie left. they're going to come back from nothing and destroy the first order and then smile at each other in the ashes?

why?>??? what are they going to do? build a republic again? is rey going to build a new jedi order? we've seen how that worked out

there's nothing to believe in here. HOPE is such a strong theme in the sequel trilogy. "as long as there's light we've got a chance" "leia sent me here with hope" "the galaxy has lost its hope, the spark is out." "hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." like good grief. constantly hammering on the need to have hope, but WHY?

what's the point of defeating the imperials, spending your life trying to build something good in the galaxy, trying to build a family, when you're only going to have to do it all again in your old age, when everyone you love is dead?

i cant see any hope if this is the ending for the OT characters, so i powerfully struggle to care about and cheer for Rey, Poe, and Finn. what's the point in anything they're doing? what's the point in the sacrifices they're making? it might turn out just exactly like it did for Luke, Leia, and Han, spending their old age in loneliness, sorrow, and violence

if this is the way history repeats itself, you probably should just make out like the stuttering codebreaker. "dont join"

#grace for ts #the last jedi #lists of things with grace #star wars #here they are the extremely belated bullet points #this is long as heck #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #TLJ #tlj spoilers #the last jedi spoilers #i both enjoyed it immensely and left with a bad taste in my mouth hhhhhh

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fantaledfish · 7 years

Text

Follower Ask Thing

I was tagged by @ask-oncelers-race-car-bed and I really should be doing something useful like buying paper towels but given I’m not ready to leave the house yet, I feel like this is a good thing to get done first. Let’s get to it:

5 Things You’ll Find in My Bag:

1. Two full decks of Magic: The Gathering Cards and a few extras just sort of floating around. One is on loan from an acquaintance, and one I created at a chaos draft that I participated in yesterday. I’m really new to Magic, technically I learned to play a few years ago, but these last few months have been the first period of time where I was really exposed to passionate players and got the chance to play fairly regularly and attempt to better myself.

2. The keys and padlock to a bike lock set. The length of cord that is the actual bike lock is not in my bag at the moment, but I keep the smaller pieces in my bag so that I don’t lose them. I ride my bike everywhere because I don’t have a car yet. It’s inconvenient and awful and this weekend I’ll probably have a gofundme up to help out with that, because I am struggling to live my life in a town where public transportation does not exist. On the flip side, I am getting a ton of exercise and maintaining a body that I am very happy with so that’s good.

3. My comb and makeup bag. I met a really important person yesterday who could potentially be a part of my life for....forever, really, going forward, if all goes according to plan, and I wanted to look nice, so I brought my primping stuff to class with me so that I could prepare before my club meeting. Hopefully I wasn’t intimidating, that really wasn’t the goal but I worry about it.

4. Deodorant. I ride a bike to my campus. Which is 5 miles away. Enough said about that.

5. As of right now I actually have several indecent things in my bag. They’re just rather handy to have. It’s like a Giant Limestone Cube, yeah? Because you never know!

5 Things You’ll Find in My Bedroom:

1. There’s a cat. There’s another one around here somewhere but I can’t see him from where I’m sitting. There is at least one cat in my room right now thought.

2. A queen sized bed. It makes me feel like a movie star when I wake up in the mornings.

3. Several pieces of Labyrinth themed art, including an authentic movie poster from back in the day. I love them all very much, I need more art. My bedroom walls are still rather bare.

4. Clothing, everywhere. On the floor, on hangers, in my chest of drawers when I manage to get it there, on hooks on my door. I’m not a tidy person and it makes me flip out and go into a whirlwind of activity whenever someone threatens to come over. I want to be a tidy person I just don’t really have time.

5. A plush ferret. This is a substitution of the real thing, a very sweet very bad girl who still lives with my parents up North.

5 Things I’ve always wanted to do in my life (I feel these are rather obvious to people who follow me so I’m keeping this section very short)

1. Publish books

2. Be a singer in a band

3. Have a pitbull

4. Own a wardrobe consisting of 25% ballgowns that I wear regularly and with no occasion required

5. Live in the city. Not all cities work for this, but many do.

5 Things On My To Do List:

1. Homework

2. Cleaning

3. Settling the prevailing and tiresome question of ‘What The Hell is Our Relationship, Anyway?”

4. GETTING A FUCKING CAR 5. Go shopping. I need milk. And Candy.

5 Things That Make Me Happy:

1.Completing a game to 100%. I’m a completionist but I set strict rules for myself for each game so that I don’t let myself go insane and never have fun again and pour 50 hours into doing something that I hate. If its doable, I go for it, and when I do it, I love it.

2. Writing for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing for D&D, for the various other RPGs I’ve been involved in, and even for assignments, but nothing makes me happier than developing a plot idea myself, with no outside incentive, and then refining and writing that idea and seeing where it takes me. I hope to do more of it in the future.

3. Spending time with my partner. (And my friends but that’s a given.) With my partner its special, because I live near them now. I spent 5 years not even really with them, and 400 miles away as well. And now I live here. I get to see them four days or more out of the week. It’s fucking incredible. It could be better, there are things to improve on, but I never thought I’d get here, and here I am.

4. Playing D&D. I can write D&D, sure, but I love playing D&D. I fucked up my last DMs story but he rolled with it and we all had so much fun. I mean D&D also may have permanently burned one of my bridges (working on unburning it) but I still love it. I love it.

5. College. I’m in college! I hated high school. College is fun. I feel in control of myself for the first time in a very long time. Its a good feeling.

5 Things I’m (Currently) Into:

1. The Witcher. Not Wild Hunt, just, The Witcher. I haven’t played Wild Hunt but I can’t wait to because I’m very gay for Yennefer. I played the first one to full completion, it took 60 hours and was a janky time and I loved every minute of it. I’m on the second one now. It feels a little different and I definitely don’t like it as much but I’m going through it. It just opened up and feels like a real game so maybe now I can like it more.

2. Critical Role. I watch so slowly and the story of Vox Machina has already ended and hhhhhhhhhhh. However, I’m going to keep watching and catching up, and when the new story starts up I’m going to watch that as it goes while I simultaneously watch Vox Machina because I think if I got any more behind I’d go insane.

3. Dr. Pepper. I had a Dr. Pepper on Monday and it was the best fucking thing I’ve ever drunk. I’ve had Dr. Pepper before but never have I loved it so goddamn much. I want more. I need to buy more Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper in bulk.

4. Kingdom Hearts. I’m also working on playing through the full Kingdom Hearts series for the first time ever. I’ve played them before, but when I played them I was young and really really bad at games of all kinds. I am no longer bad at games of all kinds, and am doing really well. It hasn’t gotten stupidly complicated yet but I’m ready.

5. Analytical Youtubers. Last year when my anxiety problems were at a height I couldn’t do anything without something going on in the background, so I found a whole bunch of analytical youtubers that talk about games, philosophy, movies, math, writing, anything, and played them whenever I needed to accomplish a task. Now I play them because I love them. I love thinking about mechanics and cinematography and I love analyzing trends and seeing other people doing it too.

5 Things People May Not Know About Me:

1. I started as a strict poetry blog. Now I call my blog the ambiguous ‘journal’ because it has what I need and what I like and what tickles my fancy. It’s got cute animals and a ton of art and a very existentialist thread of humor running through it. I don’t think it will be a poetry blog again. Maybe occasionally.

2. I read massive amounts of fanfiction from all sorts of fandoms, and have for the last four years, and can’t see myself stopping anytime soon. I’m really not public with anyone about that part of my life but it exists, and it makes me happy.

3. I hate the cold. Anything under 75 F is too cold, and it makes me actively miserable. I endured 18 years of temperate zone living, and now that I’m braving the confederacy its notably better than it was. I still wear a big hoodie with every outfit though, it gives me a really informal look to go with my elegant every day wear.

4. I expect my body to last until I am at least 93. Harriet Tubman died at 93, and as one of my lifelong heroes, she has set the par for respectable age. My family has some damn good genes so I think its doable.

5. I am an artist. I’m not a professional artist, but sometimes, I make art. It is rather good art for the most part. I may post some, sometime. It isn’t digital though, I have no idea how to do that.

People I’m tagging: Well, let’s go with 5 because that’s the theme this time around. @scarvesindoors @asurprigingamountofbisexuals @mekonari (Hi Emily!) @friendfromthelitterbox @pessimisticrainbow

#ask me #get to know me meme #whoooo #long post

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conflictedrabbit · 7 years

Text

2* the AvPD

Conversation w/ my friend I mentioned earlier. With their name / identifying characteristics edited out and some chopping here and there.

___:

I made a post abt avod once tho and it got like A few rbs and I thought "if this isn't irony idk what is" Trje

66ccff: ekjal;kdjd;

___:

me: why do, so many avoidants want to pay for being alive avpd Tumblr: hm . I relate

66ccff: ekleja;ejdl;k

___: me: I'm glad to know people relate but are we fucking ok

66ccff:

LOL i mean mood tbh

___: HINESTLT like I noticed i do it cuz of you NFBNSBDKSBDKSS

66ccff: though do you mean pay as in like. pay the medical system or pay as in guilt

___: Guilt

66ccff:

kejk;ldj;L yes ok that is definitely me me: i breathed 5 gallons of air within 3 hours i am so sorry world

___:

me: [realizes it's not entirely religious trauma and also probably just Guilt over taking up space and needing to help ppl otherwise Why Live?}

Oh god me

66ccff: (this is not even ironic i get like this multiple times a week)

___:

hdjhdjsd I've been having a bad ep lately actually and like I think I failed to look 5-6 people in the eyes today CUZ IM JUST [WALKS AROHND] WOW . TERRIBLE

66ccff:

omg it's ok i nearly cried in class today b/c i didn't have a good eng translation for this jp sentence

i was like.... no.... don't....

i stabilized cuz the teacher went on a tangent for a second but like forcing myself to look in his eyes and act normal was so hard i looked away so many times i wa slike. oog my god. end m i love it when walking around where there's other people makes me really nervous and irritable agoraphobia is great!

___:

GOD yea It's so awkward for me I'm fine if I have a safe person or I'm walking to class but like

66ccff: i came back from class today and took a 6 hr nap cuz of my shame and agoraphobia

___:

Rip Wish I could do that...

66ccff: well i haven't done my homework so

___:

I just. Cry a lot NDKSJDJDNSKDNS rip me: I'm strong Me: spent the last 5 days like crying over nothing

66ccff:

dkjle;ajd i mean... i used to cry but then i got mad at myself for crying so now i just Repress (tm) and sleep and then. the joke is that sometimes it doesn't work self harms... oops... that didn't work either better nap again

___:

zz Pillows keep u safe Idk what I've been doing lately but I thought I was getting better til I realized I was like Abstaining from feeding myself BFBJSBFSJJFD

66ccff: o h my god

___:

And I was like "oh fuck I'm a terrible person bc someone told me I should eat and j Didn't Do It I Failed Them"

66ccff:

ahahahahaahahaha i thought i was getting better too but it was actually because i was just forcing myself to study to give myself an illusion of doing my part and then i went to school and my actual performance is like bad b/c i avoid so many activities that would make me better and i just

___: samd

66ccff:

Wow i want to die!

___:

hdjsjdjs

I think I only managed to eat cuz my brother was expecting me to

66ccff: tavpdfw you want to be punished constantly so you don't have to have anxiety about existing

___:

Cuz he bought me dinner like 6 hours ago but I didn't touch it til now BFJDJD MEEEEE

66ccff: dkja;eljd;

___:

GOD me: ah I feel good today Me like 3 hours later: oh my God I shouldn't feel good abt myself that's so Selfish ? I am trash

66ccff: oh Mood

___: Avpd solidarity

66ccff:

honestly i love my environmental soicology class but liek it talks about how we're all consuming and putting things back into the environment

___: Idk how I manage to have avpd and __pd but that's how it is on ths bitch of an earth

66ccff: and i was literally contemplating if death was the only way to take myself out from the cycle

___:

Me Bhhjsfjd

66ccff:

i was like holy shit. it's not just consumption i forgot i also put bad gases into the air with everything i breathe i am Bad

___:

All day today I was hearing abt what happened in Vegas and we were like. Talking in my apologetics class abt the Nature of Evil

66ccff: the true environmentalist take is death

___: And I was just thinking "why must I, exist if all I am is bad"

66ccff:

oh my god same! i looked over my abt page and i was like this looks fake tumblerina

___:

apologetics: so mankind is basically evil Me: great! I'll die so there's less evil in the world

66ccff:

me ME

MEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

___: HHDHSBDJSHD

66ccff:

sometimes i have fantasies of like going backwards and apologizing to everyone i've ever talked to and to everyone who ever had to work to produce what i've consumed

___:

M. E

66ccff:

and then hoping that they forget about me and then like disappearing forever i jsut can't see how some people can be like oh yeah factories in china and mexico earn less than 2 dollars an hour to make our stuff and not jus twant to kill themselves

___:

I'm just pathetic and compulsive if I feel bad about stuff I apologize til like 2 weeks after God. Yea

66ccff:

the joke is that people hate if you overapologize so you jsut damned if you do damned if you dont :upside_down:

___:

me: uh sorry for being sad People: don't apologize for that Me: Avpd:. They are mad that I am apologizing also that I am sad Hhhfjjejd

Me:

ME WKJD;LKD "can you stop saying sorry" "sorry"

___:

me: oh God I'm so miserable Someone: oh im sorry Me: I wish I could accept this but Pity is too much for a lowly worm like me

66ccff: "what did i just say"

___: MMSNDNBHHHHHHGGGGG

66ccff:

:smile: :gun:

MOOD

___: avpd feel when you don't deserve to be pitied ?

66ccff: pity is too much kindness ___:

God yea

LIKE probably just a conflicted feel but I prefer ppl being active than pitying me but then I'm like

"that's selfish I don't deserve that ?"

66ccff:

someone tells you to watch where you're going feel like you're unable to go outside for the rest of the day

___:

m. mebdbdhdhdjs

66ccff: oh yeah the joke is that i want people to like. be kind to me but also i don't

___: hell brain

66ccff: so i can't say what i want

___: GGG YEAH

66ccff:

be kind to me except don't because i'll feel invalid either way so maybe just don't talk to me >feels worse anyway

___:

Hhhhhhhhhhh me Me: talk to me ? But I don't know what to talk abt ? But I am also not good enough for pity you could just sit there maybe But then the presence of another person will overwhlem me and I'll go cry again/s

66ccff: feel free to entertain yourself, and forget about me, ___:

Mebdndmdkskdjsja god [looks at all cluster c disorders] you are all bitches and I hate tou

66ccff:

tavpdfw u gotta depersonalize to make it through the day of talking to other people and acting like ur a normal human bean MOOD

___: GOD yea

66ccff:

i have a question though if im depersonalizing why do i still feel terrible even if i feel ilke im fake smh

___: God me

66ccff:

me: i'm not real so heres me acting like i am chill and cool person that is interesting maybe or maybe not me, inside: this sucks and i hate this but im not real so it shouldnt affect me but damn i hate this when u feel separate from your auto-pilot but you still experience all the shame you would without it :thinking: avpd is stupid and contradictory and evolutionarily useless

___:

__pd isnkind of the same but like if you manage it well you can get stuff done but you still breakdown over the TINIEST DETAIL I hate it And I waste more time thinking abt what I'm gonna do and not actully DOING MT SHIT

66ccff: cripes

___: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

66ccff:

me in high school UGH i'm ahving that problem right now dude in high school i used to just waste my days reading manga and thnking i should do my homeworka

___:

me: I'll spend this hour scheduling [2hours later] Me: [stressed nbdjdjjsjdjsjdks

66ccff: and then i'd like. start at 10pm and fuck myself over ___: rip 66ccff: have a crying session at 4am every time an essay is due the next day ___: I actually didn't do one of my assignments tonight 66ccff: bad coping habits ___: Rip me I got discouraged over something lame JFJSNFKSNFD 66ccff: oh mood

___:

relationship issues: occur Me: well, I can't, do anything ever again

66ccff:

i shouldn't even be discouraged abt my classes bc i'm here to learn and i'm just like. i know nothing i deserve to die kejd;kakejd friend, disagrees with you on something you feel unsure about: WELL I GUESS I AM BAD AND THEY HATE ME NOW time to ghost them

___:

me: [perceives someone not caring for me] me: and Now...what is Mine Purpose...what do I live for...my Friends....have all abandoned m MEEEEEE avpd sounds super dramatic when you separate it from yourself but like In the moment I'm always just [jdut starts Fucking Crying

66ccff:

i just want to manage to some kind of social work, give my wealth to some impoverished family, and then kms before 30

yeah my therapists in the past are like why... so soon

___: Jfjdjfjdf 66ccff: and i'm just like "why not i need to minimize all my ills on the world and also on the emotions of my family" ___: That reminds me of like. One of my mutuals talking abt how early he sleeps and he was just 66ccff: this is the optimal time look my life plan

___:

"why be awake longer than necessary"

Hdhdhfjsjfdjdjdband. I was just . Me

66ccff:

because you hate yourself too much sleep :^)

___:

God yea That's true. Me rn

I should've been asleep like an hour ago but [plays secret of Mana and then mopes]

66ccff:

dude i used to have bouts of insomnia b4 i got drugs that knock me out (and help me w/ anxiety) like.... i would lay awake and every second of being awake was just making the situation worse

___: I feel like I should get meds to balance out my bipolar eps but

66ccff: but then i couldn't sleep anyway so it was a damned situation ___: my parents r so anti meds 66ccff: rrghbh

___:

also like Internalized ableism That I don't Needthem and So Many people don't need them

66ccff: oh yeah, why do my essay when i can read an hour of garbage romo manga and feel slightly less bad during that time and then hate myself more

___:

So I Can do it cuz I'm like Everyone Else and not like Those "crazy" people Rifp

66ccff:

man i don't wanna encourage meds if your side effects r bad but honestly how did i get the fuck through high school other than triggering intense anxiety about all assignments

like... i was so nonfunctional i shouldn't have even been in school

.....

66ccff:

all accessibility problems are solvable humans are so bad

___: caring ? About others ? What a concept 66ccff: except sometimes they are good but that is definitely not me

___:

Ok I try to overcompensate w good to make up for inherent badness THANKS RELIGION

66ccff:

the US is like: here's a pricetag for your life pay up

___: AAAA

66ccff:

yeah i can see how christainity wouldn't help there w/ the "original sin" and stuff that doesn't quite exist in other abrahamic religions iirc judaism doesn't even have hell

___: it's really weird

66ccff:

i'm guessing its bc of jesus like.... y'all binches killed him so now this is life - christainity

___:

Like. Christianity makes the most sense to me probably cuz I grew up w it but fuck Man

66ccff: o yeah i grew up w/ some christianity too ___: It's FUCKED!!!!!! 66ccff: i actually have agoraphobia issues w/ going inside of churches ___: Oh same 66ccff: :^) ___: I'm actually fairly anti-church just because the current state of them is very bsd 66ccff: oh yeah

....

66ccff:

how can someone like me, who is literally not deserving of life, raise someone else

scrumbles

___:

Me Hdjehdsk

66ccff: ___ we are so fucked ___:

It's true Life is fucked We, are fucked

66ccff: existence is violence

#1-#2-#3-#4-#5-#a bloo bloo bloob #avpd #ok done editing tumblr posted it b4 i was ready but yea

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