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#i could only find it in 480 *cries*
maggiecheungs · 3 years
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TINA SUPPANAD in LET’S GO BANGKOK HOLIDAY (2017)
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warfesgts · 3 years
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He might just have been wrong
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kellyedith · 3 years
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She is so noble, so enthusiastic, and at the same time such a naive child, and in fact so like himself in character.
She is so noble, so enthusiastic, and at the same time such a naive child, and in fact so like himself in character. Yet, he tries. From my three hours’ conversation with Katya I carried away among other impressions the strange but positive conviction that she was still such a child that she had no idea of the inner significance of the relations of the sexes. All donations will directly help the refugees at the border.. Cersei sat as still as a stone statue as the shears clicked. However, using that as a statistic is misleading, since many people gave up their voice and their say zapatillas de tacos futbolin the election by not voting. One of Illyrio’s chests had been packed with a child’s clothing, musty but well made. Great Wolf would only say the facility would reopen next winter though city planning documents indicated the refurbishing of the complex was to be completed in November.. If you doubt me, ask Bronn. An event was recorded the first year
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during follow up that a N05 medication was dispensed and the event date was set to 1 July (we did not have access to the date each respective year the medication was dispensed). I know, for instance, that one can’t fight single-handed, and I mind my own business. When seas fell again, these ooids rapidly hardened into limestone rock, preserving a detailed geologic record in the process. It certainly presents the most extraordinary view of justice and equity, and is the most remarkable exposition of the principle of doing to others as we would others should do to us that it has ever been the good fortune of the civilized world to observe. The supervisor does not act as a boss but is a consultant to the superviseeAll counsellors, trainee therapists and psychotherapist, regardless of experience, need supervision. AUSTIN Whether appearing on TV/film or lending his voice to animated characters, 21 year old Jake T. The big question is, how well does Haswell E overclock compared to previous gen processors? From what we have been told, the average overclocked frequency for 5960X processors is 4.5GHz. Academic camps, courses enrichment experiences. The gods gave me only greendreams. I’ll explain; that’s just what I’ve come for, to explain. Idea Generation This is the initial stage where a business sources for ideas regarding a new product. The seats are also sharp looking in a patterned black leather with red sport stitching and an embroidered "Sport" insignia. The Motley Fool has no position in any of the stocks mentioned. disco duro externo pitaHe says this "fuel of the future" could be used in other industries and other countries. The most popular costumes from the past include corsets, big skirts with petticoats for the ladies, and wigs for the men. It only got better from there: he registered nine five fors in his first 16 Tests and in 2013, broke Erapalli Prasanna's Indian record for the fastest to 100 Test wickets by reaching the landmark in his 18th game.. Destriers began to perish of exhaustion and exposure. However, Swara doesn shy away from the fact that she has had a career She says, have done supporting parts and lead roles simultaneously. In the age of digital distribution, cloud backups, and Google Fiber, an optical drive can be much less valuable than a good CPU heatsink.. A small, malicious, treacherous man, as stupid as he is cruel. No answers, until someone noticed and called them on it.. Marami ang hindi nakapanood sa interview ng TV Patrol kay Richard. “Then we must needs find some other way. On the other hand, a car speeding down the freeway for miles suggests something else, either something wrong with the car or else fraud on the part of the driver. The rest of the murder flew ahead or lingered behind. Venus, thanks to its thick atmosphere of carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide, is the hottest planet in our Solar System. Drogon especially ranged far afield
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and could easily devour a sheep a day. I talked warmly, convincingly. Thrice that day she caught sight of Drogon. Ser Clayton’s face cried out for an axe between the eyes. He had just been seeing the others off and had come to Natasha’s straight from the railway station. She would need underclothes too. There is an immense range of design and material options available. You can still see, kind of, but not well enough to use it practically.. Even that took a certain courage, though; he could never return to the isles. She was really sad when she couldn't play,"said Fairview senior Becca Thompson. Her main goal was to help her students succeed, and she was always there to offer special coaching. Still remembers the first sum he sent back to the Philippines, after a few weeks work in Dubai: $350, almost three months wages under his old rate. This election isn't about Republicans or Democrats. And for what? Jeyne, her name is Jeyne, and her eyes are the wrong color. Presently Mr. The team has recently inked several players to contracts for the 2013 season, including 7'4" center Moussa Seck of Senegal, recording artist TreVonn "Diego Trinidad" Campbell, and former Harlem Globetrotter Anthony Cox.. When Gerris made to pour himself a cup of wine, Quentyn stopped him. "It gives us the chance to present segments of our spring
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production, which will include two world premiere works choreographed exclusively for Salt Creek Ballet. Little wise men of the forest would have been closer. I’m only sorry for Ichmenyev — to pay geci de fas dama scurteten thousand to that scoundrel. She hadn't taken a close enough look yet to see if she recognized them as customers..
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This man is bikes btt usadas no Blackheart, no Bittersteel, no Maelys. Dear husband and friend, much loved and loving father, devoted dog owner, masterful story teller, honoured CBC radio humourist and host. “Yes, as for that only, let me tell you,” he interrupted, dashing out into the entry and putting on his coat (I followed his example). We’ve been late in getting to know one another; we ought to have met long ago, though I’ve known you for ages. Some stared with cold dead eyes as papuci de casa din pasla they went by, fingering their sword hilts. Family members remember when she was bikes btt usadas about 8, we tried to talk her into playing soccer. He brought us only grief and death. In his right ear gleamed a garnet cut in the shape of a drop of blood. To hear many men talk, one would think that they supposed that unless negroes actually were whipped or burned alive at the rate of two or three dozen a week, there was no harm in slavery. “Come, Masloboev,, old boy, you’re talking nonsense!” I interrupted. An innocent man does not go on the run without reason of guilt of some crime unless he is afraid for his life because of being a witness. She became emotional as she recalled getting in touch with them late Sunday."They are now safe, they are back in our province," she said, breathing in sharply and waving away tears. If you're into birdwatching, a pair of binoculars won't weigh you down too much. He loved her no less than before; perhaps, indeed, his feeling was stronger, more poignant than ever, from remorse and gratitude.
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egewgew · 3 years
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Those bills would have prevented the council passed bag fee
“The Butcher’s coming out to give us battle. He flapped them once as he swept chaussure rando salomon homme decathlon back above the sands, and the sound was like a clap of thunder. The boar raised his head, snorting … and flame engulfed him, black fire shot with red. The bills, sponsored by state Sen. Simcha Felder and Assemblyman Michal Cusick, come after Felder's previous bill passed in the Republican controlled Senate but as Cusick's couldn't get a scheduled vote in the Democrat controlled Assembly. Those bills would have prevented the council passed bag fee legjobb kutyaruha esőkabát from taking effect on Feb. He can raise you above all temporary and worldly considerations. In place of her former ladies-in-waiting, she will henceforth be attended by a septa and three novices selected by the High Septon. She is to have no further voice in the governance of the realm, nor in Tommen’s education. The captain-general wriggled his blistered toes in his footbath. “When we reached the river. He was surprised to find that Moqorro and two of his fiery fingers had joined them on the sterncastle. A knight, and heir to Southshield. The church also ordained that any slave who felt a calling to enter the ministry, and appeared qualified therefor, should be allowed to pursue his vocation: and enjoined it upon his master to liberate him, since the church could not permit her minister to wear the yoke of slavery. It is to be presumed that the phenomenon, on page 176, of a preacher with both toes cut off and branded on the breast, advertised as a runaway in the public papers, was not one which could have occurred consistently with the Christianity of that period... The actual duplicate coach handbags australia is actually surely an simple system to be able to wind up being sophisticated without having a advantage of getting rid of the outlet within your returning pants pocket. A items are generally frequently a detailed identical through the special programmer bag, around support regarding an expert could recognize between the 2. Merchants that market repeat hand bags have a significant selection, of which contains all of the well known styles just like purse monogram "C" Instructor, this signature product, or maybe probably your patchwork luggage that are pretty new. O, mother! my dear mother! come now and see your distressed and heart-broken daughter once more. Mother! my dear mother! do not forsake me, for I feel desolate! Please to come now.. Penny did not seem to hear that. “The fighting pits have been a part of Meereen bocanci grisport 480 since the city was founded. The combats are profoundly religious in nature, a blood sacrifice to the gods of Ghis. The mortal art of Ghis is not mere butchery but a display of courage, skill, and strength most pleasing to your gods. She would have slain Varamyr had he come within her retros kabátok reach. The bear hated geci de fas dama scurtehim, had raged each time he wore her skin or climbed upon her back.. Plainly that was what he thought of “nine.” The serjeant’s fingers were stained a mottled red from the juice of the sourleaf he chewed. “You poor boys must be freezing,” said Holly. “Here, let me warm you up.” She slipped past the guard’s spearpoint and reached up to his face, pulling loose the half-frozen scarf to plant a kiss upon his mouth. There he sat, listening to the hoarse whispers of his teacher. You heard him in my hall. A flush crept up Massey’s neck. “I will not stay here to be insulted.” He wrenched his damp cloak down from the wall so hard that Asha heard it tear, then stalked past Horpe and through the door. In place of the rich robes of his predecessors, he wore a shapeless tunic of undyed wool that fell down to his ankles. “Your Grace,” he said, by way of greeting. I thank you and your brothers for your hospitality.” He spoke the Common Tongue flawlessly, with only the slightest hint of accent. The memory still shamed him, but he had not been alone. Others had run as well, hundreds of them, thousands. Outside the wind was gusting, making the flames shiver in the oil lamps that lit the yard. “ I believe
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I might recover,” I thought, “if I could get out of this shell into the light of day, into the fields and woods.” It was so long since I had seen them. “She tried to say something more, but she couldn’t. I looked at her, but she seemed not to see me, only she held my hand chaussure rando salomon homme decathlon tight in hers. Turtles lived there now, big bonesnappers. Do you understand, Vanya? I’m glad you have come, and so reebok reverse jam low I want to say aloud in your presence so that others may hear that I am sick of all this nonsense, all these tears, and sighs, an misery. What I have torn out of my heart, which bleeds and aches perhaps, will never be back in my heart again. More recently the Fdration Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) has extended their definition of football to include ancient ball games played in China and Japan despite there being no known connections between these games and those played in medieval Europe. No other World governing body of any other form of football have attempted to redefine the origins of their sport in the way FIFA have. criminal szoknya Not surprisingly this has lead to there being some confusion nike air max 102 essential white over the origins of Association Football. 25, 2015, the team said. He was 60. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File). The poor boy, afraid to cry before so many strangers, who showed no signs of sympathy or pity, trembled, and wiped the tears from his cheeks with his sleeves. He was sold for about two hundred and fifty dollars. During the sale, the quarters resounded with cries and lamentations that made my heart ache. A pair of bravos passed in rumpled finery, leaning on each other as they staggered drunkenly past the docks, their blades rattling at their sides. A red priest swept past, his scarlet and crimson robes snapping in the wind.. Besides this, other great plans of benevolence have occupied their time and attention; and the result has been that they have formed altogether inadequate conceptions of the extent to which the cause of God on earth is imperilled by American slavery, and of the duty of Christians in such a crisis.
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KINKTOBER DAY 6: ANGRY SEX
Word count: 480 Warnings: smut, ‘forced sex’ (consetual), angry skinny!steeb Pairing: 40s Stucky
Challenge Masterlist  | Main Masterlist
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His back hits the wall but he doesn’t seem phased by it.
“Get off, you piece’a shit!” Steve cries from his caged spot. A good tactical kick frees him and he’s off running to his place, the cold autumn air doing nothing for his poor lungs. 
“Steve?” Bucky says when the door springs open and slams behind him. The short blonde struts towards his boyfriend with purpose. He’s lucky Bucky has good reflexes or he would have landed on his ass, his frail arms failing to hook around the broad shoulders.
“Hey! Slow down…” Bucky adds when Steve starts sucking purple clouds on his neck. “Baby! Stop!” He drops the boy onto their velvet couch. He can see the scratch on Steve’s lip, and scraped knuckles. He knows what Steve wants, and he knows that it’s out of impulse.
“Buck. Fuck me. Now!” His brows stitch together, tears threaten to spill. Although his hands are shaking with rage, he’s already working on his lover’s pants, his own discarded shortly before.
“Questions later. Please, just… Man handle me.” The conviction has Bucky’s worries flying out the window. He reaches down to cup his chin; the sharpness of his jaw so perfectly made for his hand.
“Come here, Stevie. I’ll knock that outta ya,” Bucky suggests.
His back hits the bed, and only now does he whine at the contact.
“Nu-huh. Take my spot,” Steve says as he springs back up and jumps over the brunette, not wasting a second as he impales himself with his cock. “Ah! Yes…” He moans. The cheap bolts of their bed start screaming when he works with vigor - each squat is punctuated by a squeak.
“Feels. So. Good. Bucky,” he adds. Bucky hisses when his nails start scraping his chest. He reaches up, grabs Steve by the throat and pounds harder into him. The slapping of skin on skin takes over the room. Bucky follows the growing tension, taking charge by pushing Steve back. He towers over him; both ankles in hand, his dick going significantly deeper. Soon, Steve finds himself falling off the edge, forced to steady himself with his hands on the ground. In other times, he’d be scolded as all the blood in his brain could be damaging. But right now Bucky is too focused on his task.
“I’m gonna…”
“I know Steve. I’m right behind.” He pulls Steve back up so he’s straddling him again. Bucky’s jerking them between their bodies, slick hands bobbing around their joined cocks. The first hot spurts come from Steve. His cries muffled at the back of his hand. Bucky’s load spills thick onto his knuckles.
“Thank you,” Steve says. “When will it end?” There’s a slight pinch in Bucky’s heart.
“People are jerks, Stevie. I’ll always be here to take care of you after. Even when your way of coping is getting tossed around some more.”
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19crows · 4 years
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The Lies of Locke Lamora - Scott Lynch
SPOILER WARNING!
Don’t know if any one will actually see this but I can never find collections of quotes including page numbers. I figured since I’m stuck in self-isolation, and incredibly bored, I’d make a collection for a few of my favourite books as I read them again. These are quotes and scenes that are my favourites (impact, emotion, etc).
__
‘Ila justicca vei cala’
‘I’ve got kids that enjoy stealing. I’ve got kids that don’t think about stealing one way or another, and I’ve got kids that just tolerate stealing because they know they’ve got nothing else to do. But nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever been hungry for it like this boy. If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing. He... steals too much.’ (pg 12)
‘There are only three people in life you can never fool - pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother’s dead, I’ve taken her place. Hence, I’m bullshit-proof.’ (pg 27)
‘Locke Lamora’s rule of thumb was this - a good confidence game took three months to plan, three weeks to rehearse, and three seconds to win or lose the victim’s trust forever. This time around, he planned to spend those three seconds getting strangled.’ (pg 31)
‘Locke is our brother and our love for him has no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are “Locke would appreciate it.”’ ‘Rivalled only by ‘Locke taught me a new trick,”’ added Galdo. ‘The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games...’ ‘...is Locke...’ ‘...because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons...’ ‘...and fifty thousand cheering spectators.’ (pg 62)
‘Unbelievable! Taken in so fast, by such a simple trick. Well, my father used to say that one moment of misjudgment at the Revel is worth ten at any other time.’ (pg 89)
‘What kind of knife is this?’ Locke held a rounded buttering utensil up for Chains’ inspection. ‘It’s all wrong. You couldn’t kill anyone with this.’ (pg 99)
‘I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!’ ‘Liar!’ ‘I only steal because this wicked world won’t let me work an honest trade!’ 'LIAR!' ‘I only steal because I have to support my poor lazy twin brother, whose indolence broke our mother’s heart!’ ‘LIAR!’ ‘I only steal because I’ve temporarily fallen in with bad company. ‘LIAR!’ ‘I only steal because it’s heaps of fucking fun!’ ‘BASTARD!’ (pg 107)
‘You’re one third bad intentions, one third pure avarice, and one eighth sawdust. What’s left, I’ll credit, must be brains.’ (pg 118)
‘Well, this is the damnedest damn thing that ever dammed things up for us.’ (pg 181)
‘And let me emphasize that you can’t make the corpse yourself.’ (pg 188)
‘Nice bird, arsehole.’ (pg 214)
‘So eat hemp and shit rope, Bondsmage.’ (pg 214)
‘Gods! You’re quiet!’ ‘Not all the time,’ Locke stepped to within a few feet of the larger boy. ‘I can be very loud, when I’m being stupid.’ (pg 234)
‘Beer now, bitch later.’ (pg 251)
‘That fucker,’ Jean’s hands balled into fists. ‘I could do so much to him, without killing him. I very much hope I get to try.’ (pg 251)
‘There are a few things I want to ask him[the Grey King]. Philosophical questions. Like, “How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied around your balls, motherfucker?”’ (pg 275)
‘This is a fantastically silly moment to start giving a shit.’ (pg 276)
‘Hold it!’ Locke cried, waving both of his hands. ‘Whoa! I know what this looks like, but you’ve got the wrong idea, friend.’ He pointed at the petrified woman clinging to the hanging bed. ‘She came before we came!' (pg 280)
‘For the love of the gods, madam,’ snapped Locke, ‘can you please pick one man in your bedroom to cheer for and stick with him?’ (pg 280)
‘It’s not polite to hit girls.’ ‘It’s even less polite to hit my friends.’ (pg 308)
‘Many things are commonly thought, but perhaps not commonly thought all the way through.’ (pg 319)
‘Calo and Galdo lay beside it, on their backs, staring up in the semi-darkness. Their throats were slashed from ear to ear, a pair of smooth gashes - identical twin wounds.’ (pg 342)
‘The things I could do to you if I were to stitch your true name.’ (pg 343)
‘You brave little idiot. You brave, stupid little bastard. This is my fault, Bug, please... please say this is all my fault.' (pg 346)
‘I promise you a death-offering, brothers,’ Locke whispered when he’d finished. ‘I promise you an offering that will make the gods take notice. An offering that will make the shades of all the Dukes and Capas of Camorr feel like paupers. An offering in blood and gold and fire. This I swear by Aza Guilla who gathers us, and by Perelando who sheltered us, and by the Crooked Warden who places his finger on the scale when our souls are weighed. This I swear to Chains, who kept us safe. I beg forgiveness that I failed to do the same.’ (pg 348)
‘I’ll do more than that. Whatever he’s planning, I will unmake it. Whatever he desires, I will destroy it. Every reason you came down here to murder my friends will evaporate. Every Grey King’s man will die for nothing, starting with you.’ (pg 349)
‘When you see the Crooked Warden,’ said Locke, twisting something in his hands, ‘tell him that Locke Lamora learns slowly, but he learns well. And when you see my friends, you tell them that there are more of you on the way.’ (pg 350)
‘I’m only good at breaking people; I don’t put them back together.’ (pg 385)
‘You have a plan?’ ‘No,’ said Locke. ‘Not even a speck of one. Not the damnedest idea. But don’t all my better schemes start like this? I’ll find an opening, somehow… and then I suppose I’ll be rash.’ (pg 398)
‘Crooked Warden,’ he whispered, ‘I’m going into this counting house and I’m going to come out with what I need. I’d like your aid. And if I don’t get it, well, to hell with you. I’ll come out with what I need anyway.’ (pg 402)
‘You’re bleeding hard, Tannen. You won’t live out the night, you fucking bastard.’ ‘That’s Gentleman Bastard,’ he said. ‘And there’s a chance I won’t. But you know what? Calo and Galdo Sanza are laughing at you, bitch.’ (pg 440)
‘...I’d be very curious to hear just where I fucked up and tipped you off.’ (pg 470)
‘I am the Idiot King,’ he muttered, ‘of all the world’s fucking idiots.’ (pg 470)
‘That shape you saw, darting out from the tower? Bird. Biggest gods-damned bird you ever saw… It was a bird, right?’ ‘Biggest gods-damned bird we ever saw.’ (pg 472)
‘Locke smiled the cruellest smile he’d ever worn in his entire life as he rose to his feet.’(pg 479)
‘Just one question, you arrogant fucking cocksucker,’ said Locke. ‘I’ll grant the Lamora part is easy to spot… But what the fuck,’ he said slowly, ‘ever gave you the fucking idea that Locke was the first name I was actually born with?’ (pg 480)
‘I’m not going to kill you,’ said Locke. ‘I’m going to play a little game I like to call “Scream in pain until you answer my fucking questions.”’ (pg 481)
‘Because I tied that Bondsmage to the floor just an hour or two ago...I cut off his fingers to get him to talk, and when he’d confessed everything I wanted to hear, I had his fucking tongue cut out, and the stump cauterized… I called him an arsehole, too. He didn’t like that.’ (pg 497)
‘Aza Guilla,’ Locke whispered, ‘give me justice for the death of my friends. Give me blood for the death of my brothers.’ (pg 515)
‘I don’t have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here… until Jean shows up.’ (pg 517)
‘So this is revenge.’ ‘It is.’ ‘It’s a shit business.’ (pg 519)
‘Some day, Locke Lamora,’ he said, ‘some day, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.’ ‘Oh, please,’ said Locke. ‘It’ll never happen.’ (pg 521)
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pokemagines · 5 years
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JAPAN TRIP 2k19 with Mod Elesa (1/?)
hey n’yall it’s mod elesa, lemme tell u bout my japan trip! u can find some of the photos of these events on my instagram @atel2er! i didn’t want to flood this post with pictures hehe ,,
GENERAL STUFF
went for school, study abroad trip to study visualization and simulation of “serious games” that businesses buy and use (but i dont feel like talking abt it since this is the FUN POST
may 10-26
the flight was 11 hours, p easy, i didn’t know anybody going into the trip because i didn’t go to any of the meetings HAHhaHEHA
whatever. everyone on the trip initially came off as if they had yellow fever and i was like ... i’m really not trying to interact with FETISHIZERS
turns out they were all really cool! only this one kid was a real weeaboo who was greasy and tall and a neckbeard who kept talking about being “culturally insensitive” and speaking japanese constantly to the teacher and the TA like ... ok patrick we get it you flex
i stayed in a hotel in shinjuku! everything is so small and i used the bidets for the first time and WOO chile that shit feels FUNKY on your asshole
i visited shinjuku major (kabukicho aka red light district, couple other places!), ikebukuro (THE MEGA POKEMON CENTER), mt fuji, fuji q highland, akihabara, hamamatsucho (area where tokyo tower is), HARAJUKU, and the emperor’s palace! i’m probably forgetting some places since we went to a lot of temples and shrines that were cool ...
the public transportation in japan is scarily on time.. like, by the second. they apologize if they’re one minute early and will wait until the scheduled time before they move omg
the subway stations have their own jingles! they kind of act as an alarm system because a lot of people sleep on the subway (which is why people generally don’t talk on it) and will recognize the jingle for their stop!
the crowded hours on the subway are noon and 6-8pm... like, its insane. it’s actually packed like sardines in there. 
EVERYONE THERE IS SO SHORT.... i was taller than a lot of the grown men there (i’m 5′4″ or 162 cm for reference) and most people were around 5 feet tall... the only people taller than me were some kids around my age and this gaggle of japanese schoolgirls who were like 5′7+ and i was like. sis you’re 13, why are you that tall
pokemon is EXTREMELY prevalent in japan wherever you go. there’s pikachu stickers on taxis, pikachu is on ads on the subway and at the AIRPORT, pokemon go is widely played by a lot of people and so many of the people in my group played it so i got conned into playing again. i leveled up 5 times within 3 days and honestly? i’m god
anime is very normal there... i know that sounds all “weeby” but a lot of normal shops had animated mascots and there were ads for anime all over the place. 
literally gacha machines everywhere i spent a lot of coins on gacha machines plz kill me
the homies in japan loooove crepes. they sold so many crepes. everywhere. just crepes. also spaghetti carbonara! and corndogs HAHAHA
the food there is so cheap but SOOO GOOD. sushi isn’t all that expensive at all?? like a set of 16 pieces is 1080Y... meanwhile that cost in america is like. $6000 HAHAHAHAH. 
very humid? at all times? also the RAIN is debilitating if u make one wrong step you will slip and die (like i did! i stepped on a tile and fucking fell into a puddle! i have bruises still!)
SHINJUKU (detective pikachu day, may 10)
i went to go see detective pikachu on its release day in shinjuku! before that, i went to a couple sega buildings--
the sega buildings are 4 story buildings FILLED with claw machines holding stuffed animals, figurines, candy, all kinds of stuff. when i went, there was a lot of detective pikachu-related stuff. i saw this detective pikachu hat in one of the machines and spent 1000Y (about $10) or 10 attempts at the claw machine ... i still can’t believe i got it ... nobody was there to see it besides me and i YELLED when it dropped 
i wore the hat that entire day around shinjuku because i honestly felt like god. people would point at me and go like “ah! meitantei pikachu!” and smile at me. i was a celebrity. i wore the hat into the movie theatre, i wore it through the entire movie, and when i was walking out, someone tapped on my shoulder and asked for my picture. she was all nervous about her english and was like “i love your hat. may i take a picture?” and i was like omG YES U CAN... sweet bab... so that’s the first photo of me that ended up on some random person’s phone
we waited around for the mass of people to exit the theatre and then left, and we ran into her again! she asked me more questions about the hat: “did you make it?” “no, i got it in a claw machine in the sega building.” she looked dumbfounded. “in shinjuku?” “yes.” “in the sega building? over there?” “yeees.” “in a claw machine?!” “yes!” “ah! i thought you made it! it’s so cute! i’m going to get one for myself.” “lol ok have fun”
i learned that its customary to stay until the very end of the credits before leaving a movie out of respect for the people who made it! meanwhile in america we walk out when the credits roll FHDSKFJS OOPIES
SHINJUKU (visit #2)
we went in the night time to go see the red light district aka kabuki-cho because thats where a lot of the bars are
i don’t drink so i didn’t join the people who went to the bars to get CRUNK, so i dragged two other guys with me and we walked around the red light district
I SAW SO MANY HOST CLUBS. so many maid cafes. so many bars. i saw a love hotel too... i was like... i wanna go inside... Blease... and my friends were like “you’re so weird KHEDJFSk” and im like “I WAS GOOGLING THESE IN CLASS TODAY, I DIDN’T THINK THEY WERE REAL”
my friend sean (he’s from taipei, cool guy, could read a lot of the kanji so we used him to navigate the subway HAHA) was walking with me that night and we saw this hole in the wall that had stairs going down to a peep show ... homegirl had her whole ass out on the sign... tiddies covered with caution tape ... i said MAAM?
one of the signs in kabuki-cho had a woman doing straight up ahegao with (what i’m pretty sure was) nut on her face. it was a small sign and i was the only one who saw it. i lost my shit. it was the funniest thing ever
kabuki-cho is really really dirty... like people straight up litter all the time bc there’s no trashcans around? so people throw their shit on the ground? and everyone steps on it... very seedy area, very gross, but i was absolutely enthralled with the nightlife and the blatant sexual vibes half the places had!
some dude stopped me and started speaking english saying “do you like karaoke? you should come drink with me for two hours, it’s a great price if you drink a lot” and i was like “no... i have to go home” and he’s like “come onnnn it’s a good price” and i was like. i’m not very assertive with men so i started panicking and my friend sean (A GOD AMONG MEN) started speaking chinese to him and he backed off ... i love you sean you’re so fucking COOL
IKEBUKURO (pokemon mega center)
so there’s this huge mall. i forgot the name, but it’s got like a lot of floors and they’re MASSIVE
on the 2rd floor is the MEGA POKEMON CENTER!!! i was so HYPED to go in there!!! it was teeming with people but there was just... so much stuff. all kinds of merch. they had plushies of the original 151, a shitton of really cool tshirts, a whole block for detective pikachu-themed merch (pins, socks, canvas bags, shirts, patches, hats, etc), and sooo much more. there’s a giant charizard statue when you walk in, as well as a statue of a pokestop HAHA. i was so excited and i wanted to buy so many things when i was in there bc they had stuff for all the legendaries (LATIOS AND LATIAS STUFF WERE THERE I WAS SO HAPPY)!!! literally anything you can think of, they had in some kind of pokemon print. including underwear. yeah i said it. here’s a really good article that showcases some of the stuff they sold there!
for reference, 100 yen is about 1 usd. a lot of things there were 480 yen ($4.80) or 3000Y ($30) and it was just... beautiful. 
when i was there, yen didn’t feel like it had monetary value since it’s not the currency i’m used to, so i sPENT WAY TOO MUCH AHFJKDFD
they had themed cash registers with each of the starters... i cried :’)
i actually went there a second time but it was packed for a different reason. some idol group was performing on the ground floor and a shitton of girls were screaming fanchants while their jpop boys danced LOLLL. now i know how people see kpop stans ...
AKIHABARA (i went like 8 times)
this is what i like to call my birthplace
we went to the maid cafe. of course we fucking did. i got a dreamland passport and some cat ears. THE MAIDS ALL LOVED HATSUNE MIKU
SPEAKING OF HATSUNE MIKU AKA MY GODDESS, she was pretty popular in akihabara! she was also on some posters in the subway stations (across tokyo, not just in akihabara) and was apparently having some magical mirai concert???
there’s this giant tower called radio kaikan thats right outside the akihabara station that’s filled with all sorts of anime shit. i spent so much money in there. Good God. there was a furret plush for 5400Y and i was so STINGY that day i shouldve BOUGHT IT....  it was a longboi and i was like... sis!!!!
remember how i said my brain didn’t register that yen had monetary value? yeah i spent hundreds of dollars here no cap ...
i went to a kaguya-sama cafe as well on another day bc my friend joe (one of the figureine-collecting weebs) wanted to go and get a chika coaster
i went into a three floor sex shop and gave no fucks, the bottom floor was filled with bdsm shit and LEATHER SCHOOLGIRL OUTFITS and it was WILD. and these two old men were just casually browsing this shit like we weren’t both looking at whips and buttplugs in Public you know
i wasn’t fazed by a lot of the stuff there bc i read Funky fanfiction but the people i went in there with were major uncomfy ... i was like PRUDES HAJKFDAHDS i almost bought something don’t tell anybody
OKAY SO. there’s this place called super potato that has a floor dedicated to old games and consoles. they had so many gameboy advances and gamecubes and old consoles (famicom, dreamcast etc) for CHEAP. they had a gameboy color for 4900Y and a gamecube for 5600Y. a bitch almost cried. they had every old pokemon game under the sun (the original red, blue, yellow, gold and silver) and i ,,, they were 480Y. they were 480Y. that’s five fucking dollars. do you know how much collectors pay for that shit on ebay? HUNDREDS. i could’ve mass bought those and sold them and made so much cash but I DIDN’T.
that store had an original unopened copy of super smash bros melee and pokemon colosseum and i was like... wait if i cop a gamecube i could play pokemon collosseum like a true g... ((i didn’t cop))
but anyways there were a lot of games that didn’t make it to america (including mother 3! which my friend connor bought! as well as the console to play it!) and just... so many old things i grew up with ... 
whenever i walked out of the super potato we’d end up in an alley where all the girls who work at cafes were advertising their stuff
i always took the flyers from the girls bc they spoke their cute english to me and i was like... i’d die for you, yknow that?
ALL KINDS OF CAFES. regular maid cafe, pirate cafe, ninja cafe (you could do that thing where you karate chop a wooden block in half), sailor cafe (as in actual ship captains), shrine maiden cafe, vampire cafe, prince cafe (for the ladies ;3), catgirl cafe, bunny girl cafe... i took all of the goddamn flYERS THEY WERE ALL SO CUTE :( i wanted to go so bad...
FUJI Q HIGHLAND (also known as the time i flipped my shit and went on rollercoasters)
when i found out about fuji-q, i told my group that we HAD to go. i didn’t want to go to an onsen. i wanted to go to fuji-q. i had to. i love rollercoasters, it’s my passion, my driving fORCE IN LIFE
so fuji-q is home to 4 record-breaking rollercoasters! u got fast boi aka jojo reference do-dodonpa; EXTREME TALL BOI fujiyama; superior to x2 at six flags eejanaika; and the steepest rollercoaster in the world TAKABISHA ... i got to ride fujiyama, eejanaika, and takabisha! the scariest one was probably fujiyama despite it being very cut and dry up for... ever ... 79 meters ... oh god ... i lost my shit on the way down ladies let me TELL YOU
FUJIYAMA ALSO HAS A VIEW OF MT FUJI AND I WAS LIK E”YO GUYS ITS MT FUJI” and then we went down and i screamed
please watch the pov videos for these rides they’re very good but they don’t convey the absurd amount of excitement i had going on these rides
anyways the fuji-q park was having a sword art online collaboration when i visited, so they played SAO music and had cardboard cutouts for them across the park... kirito’s ride was fujiyama (aka the king of them all). i forgot the other ones but those alicization kiddos were there but ion care about ALICE OR EUGEO
the first ride i went on was eejanaika which is a 4d rollercoaster, pretty epic, total Baby Ride though
i went on as a single rider so i ended up getting put in this group with these college kids! the guy i was sitting next to spoke to me in english and asked basic questions: “where are you from?”, “is this [ride] easy for you?”, “how old are you?”, basic stuff. he asked why i was in japan and i told him i was studying at waseda university, and he immediately perked up and went “I GO TO WASEDA!!! WASEDA YEAH!!!” and fist bumped me ... his friends were giggling and kept asking him to ask me questions and it was just. so wholesome.
when we were abt to get on the ride he looks at me and says “my name is soichiro. call me so-chan ok??” and i was like... “so-chan” and his friENDS ALL STARTED GIGGLIGN AND I WAS LIKE U///W///U
while we were going up on the ride, he kept yelling “JESUS FUCK YOU JESUS CHRIST” and my favorite: “JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK YOU” because apparently fuck cannot be standalone! “what the fuck you” is my new fave insult (i miss you so-chan)
afterwards he kept coughing and was like. dead. his soul left his body. so i asked in him japanese like,,, “daijobu ka?” and he was like “nai.” and i just laughed at him bc BA B Y SO-CHAN CANT HANDLE SOME SPINS 
i bought a corndog at fuji-q at this place called arirang hotdog which is a korean style hotdog place??? BRUH that shit is so good but i shat myself for a good minute afterwards ... damn i want those corndogs
sadly i did not get to go on do-dodonpa because nobody wanted to ride with me and i didn’t want to go by myself >:/// still mad abt that bc that was the FAST BOI ...
also. takabisha. the guiness world record with the 121 degree drop. not even scary. BUT they do hang you there for like 3 seconds before making you go down and i was like “YALL FUCKIN WITH ME” really loud when they hung us there ... PLS watch a pov video you’ll see what i mean ...
HARAJUKU (i totally forgot abt this place OH lord)
i bought ... clothes here ...
they have all those clothes with the random english words on them so OF COURSE i had to buy one AS WELL AS a hat to match!
i also bought one of those ear hats where u press the paws and the ears move ... bts inspired that one
so many people in harajuku absolutely DECKED OUT in fashion. what a bunch of legends.
apparently wearing shirts that say “babygirl” are popular here i have no clue why ,,,, also im pretty sure i remember seeing a shirt that said “call me daddy” and i’m like. Ok Japan
half the shit in english made ZERO SENSE or was SPELLED WRONG and that was common all across japan, not just on harajuku fashion pieces LMAOOOO
deadass i went to a couple businesses (fuji xerox, nissan factory, etc) and they had spelling errors all over the place... nissan really had a placard that said “Prease do not touch” AND I CACKLED hfDSKLJF ilove u nissan
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stanjaaones · 3 years
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Her hats all fell to pieces in her hands.
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dwfefced · 3 years
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junker-town · 4 years
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The 10 least consequential athletes of the decade
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Some rules before we begin:
This list is arranged in no particular order, because my definition of “inconsequential” is somewhat arbitrary and varies from case to case. It might mean that the athlete’s career was a meaningless blip on the radar, or brilliantly brief and terrible, or impressively invisible. If you take issue with anything you read here, I pledge to rewrite it to your satisfaction and mail you $100.
This list is nearly entirely made up of athletes competing at the top echelon of their sport, as fun as it would be to mock four-year-old T-ball first basemen who stood directly on top of the base, wore their glove on the wrong hand and cried.
This list is entirely made up of men. Women’s sports made enormous strides in the 2010s, and even those who played, say, two career minutes of WNBA basketball still contributed to something meaningful. None of the guys below were doing anything important.
If you’re one of the guys on this list, and you read this, please take some satisfaction in the knowledge that in 2012, I had to seek medical attention after injuring my knee playing Wiffle ball.
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Chris Pettit
Pinch runner, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, 2011
In this decade, Chris Pettit came tantalizingly close to playing the least amount of baseball a Major League Baseball player can possibly play.
Pettit appeared in exactly one 2010s game. On April 8, 2011, the Angels trailed the Blue Jays by a run with two out in the bottom of the ninth. After slow-footed catcher Hank Conger singled, Pettit, who had shown impressive speed in the minors, was sent in as his pinch runner. Up next was 24-year-old Peter Bourjos, by no means a power hitter. In this situation, Pettis likely took a fairly conservative lead off first.
Bourjos struck out on four pitches. Pettis walked off the field and was never seen in the major leagues again.
Baseball’s classic cup-of-coffee story is that of Moonlight Graham, the rookie who famously trotted out to right field, never saw anything hit his way, and ended his career without ever getting to bat or field a baseball. In his farewell game, Pettit did even less: he walked fewer steps to take his position, he was only out there for a minute or so, and he never once wore a glove or held a bat.
Hypothetically, we can imagine an appearance less meaningful than this one, but only barely. Changing Bourjos’ result to a line-out on the first pitch is no good, because if that happens, our man Pettit becomes a baserunner with a ball in play, if only for a second or two. His heart rate probably spikes. Can’t have that. No, this needs to be a strikeout. The only tragedy, then, is that Bourjos struck out on four pitches and not three.
If we want to get greedy, we can imagine the Angels as the visiting team. Playing at home, their dugout was on the left side of the field, meaning Pettit had to jog all the way across the diamond to take his place at first. As the visitor, first base would have been just a few steps away from the bench.
Pettit stood there for a minute with bare and empty hands. That was his Major League Baseball decade. It might very well be the most meaningless decade a major league baseball player has ever experienced.
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Darius Johnson-Odom
Shooting guard, Los Angeles Lakers and Philadelphia 76ers, 2012-2014
In contrast to Darius Johnson-Odom’s storied career at Marquette and his years in China and Italy, his NBA life lasted 21 minutes. They were a very, very busy 21 minutes. His 11 shot attempts came from everywhere on the floor — a layup, a scattering of mid-range shots, and a couple of heaves from at least 26 feet out. All 11 of them missed. He was once sent to the stripe for a pair of free-throw attempts, and he missed both of those as well.
Across NBA history, 14 players have attempted at least three field goals and ended their career with zero points. Johnson-Odom left them all in the dust.
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He did everything else, from rebounding to stealing to assisting to fouling. He was all over the floor. In the end, his career usage rate stood at 28.4 percent, higher than that of Patrick Ewing, Blake Griffin, and Damian Lillard.
This is perhaps the greatest testament to the inconsequential nature of Johnson-Odom’s career: even if we decided to rewrite the record books and rule that every one of his 11 shots went in, it would not change the result of a single game. He never even attempted a shot that mattered.
His full name, Darius Earvin Johnson-Odom, sneaks in the names of two fellow Lakers with considerably more notable careers. The two names appear to have canceled one another out entirely, a phenomenon we also see in a man named ...
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JamesOn Curry
Point guard, Los Angeles Clippers, 2010
In the 2010s, the NBA revolved around LeBron James and Stephen Curry. The two megastars spent four consecutive Finals smashing their teams against one another. Before the opening tip of every season, at least one of them was correctly presumed destined for the Finals as though they were sitting presidents running for a second term.
“James on Curry” sounds like the god of the NBA guarding the other god of the NBA. “JamesOn Curry” is the name of a guy whose entire career can fit in a GIF. Welcome to the start of JamesOn Curry’s NBA career.
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Welcome to the end of JamesOn Curry’s NBA career. It lasted 3.9 seconds, making it the shortest in the history of the league.
Curry had been through it all just to get here, and now lives a life as a youth basketball instructor that makes him happier than he guesses an NBA career would have. We’re free to laugh at these 3.9 seconds all we want. God knows I am. Curry has better things to do. Besides, as he pointed out, he probably got paid more per second than anyone else in NBA history.
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Glenn Winston
Running back, Cleveland Browns, 2014-2015
After assaulting a hockey player while in college, spending six months in jail, and going undrafted, Glenn Winston had found his way into the NFL. A running back by trade, he appeared mostly as a special-teamer for the Browns before finally receiving his first career carry on Dec. 13, 2015.
Some GIFs make a sound. This one says, “bloop!”
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The 49ers’ Ian Williams doesn’t just strip the ball, he punches it out like a golfer trying to negotiate a sand trap. It shot eight yards downfield. Fumbling away one’s first career carry is bad enough, but this ensured an extra indignity. Because the ball wasn’t recovered until it was eight yards downfield, this play went in the books as a negative-eight-yard run, a result that usually implies a ball carrier unwilling to cut his losses or a catastrophic jet sweep. Winston didn’t even get the satisfaction of trying something crazy. He bet $10 and lost $100.
Winston never carried the ball again, cementing his career line: one carry, negative-8 yards, one fumble. Among pure running backs, it is the lowest career yardage total in the 100-year history of the NFL.
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Also among pure running backs, Winston is one of just four players to fumble away their only career rushing attempt. Another of those four, incredibly, was Winston’s teammate. Fullback Malcolm Johnson had been placed on injured reserve a few days prior, and would go on to drop his only carry the following season.
This was a meaningless late-season game featuring two teams that finished last in their respective divisions.
It was reported Winston suffered a concussion on this play.
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Baxter Price
Guard, Mississippi State, 2010-2013
The fans in Starkville wanted so, so badly for Baxter Price to take a shot. He would not.
“I think it goes without saying, when I get out there on the court, I’m not there to score.”
In basketball, the box score practically begs a player to somehow register, to prove you did indeed exist at some point and weren’t a mere bookkeeping error. Some can’t or won’t. “Club Trillion,” popularized by Ohio State’s Mark Titus, is a fraternity of players who have finished a game with 1 in the minutes column and 0 in every other, forming a box score that reads 1000000000000, or one trillion. Many can claim membership in this club, but Baxter Price is an especially valued shopper. In the 2010s, he finished with:
17 one-trillion games,
four two-trillion games (in other words, two minutes played and no other stats),
a three-trillion game,
a five-trillion game,
a six-trillion game, and
an eight-trillion game.
That eight-trillion game fell on Feb. 13, 2013, during a 78-36 clobbering at the hands of Missouri. Price, a walk-on on his home court with a cult following, had every reason to attempt a shot; the Bulldogs were down 34-10 at halftime and none of his teammates could hit a bucket to save their lives. If a guy named Craig Sword is permitted to go 0-for-8, surely Price is allowed that indulgence. Instead, he spent eight garbage minutes — 480 seconds — on the floor without notching a shot attempt, assist, rebound, steal, block, foul, or turnover. Did he at least touch the ball at some point? Probably, but we have no evidence of it.
Price did score one bucket in 2009, but in this decade, he was almost entirely invisible. He spent 118 minutes on the floor and totaled 30 basketball things (six shot attempts, six rebounds, two assists, one block, nine turnovers, six fouls, and zero points).
That’s one basketball act every four minutes or so. It’s the faint signal of a distant star we will never visit. Price played basketball billions of years ago and billions of light-years away, but we are nearly certain that at one point, he was there.
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Joel Rechlicz
Right winger, New York Islanders and Washington Capitals, 2010-2012
Thank heavens for arbitrary cutoff dates. Take stock of Joel Rechlicz’s career as a whole, and you find an enforcer who played a scattering of games. But if we focus specifically on his 2010s, we find something really special.
It was his job to start fights, and he did it with flair. His first fight, in April 2010, resembles a video game with poor collision detection.
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Rechlicz earned five minutes in the penalty box for this one; later that night, he would receive another 15 minutes for a much more boring fight against Eric Godard.
It would be nearly two years until Rechlicz appeared in another NHL game. In 2012, he was quiet during a couple of brief appearances for the Capitals on Jan. 31 and Feb. 1. On Feb. 13, he hit the ice for 90 seconds, drew a 10-minute misconduct penalty, and left the NHL for good.
In the 2010s, he totaled 30 minutes in the penalty box and just nine and a half minutes on the ice playing actual hockey. That is absolutely as bizarre as it sounds.
This decade, NHL players spent a combined 12 years and change on the ice playing regular-season hockey, and they spent a combined 151 days in the penalty box, yielding a ratio of 3.2 percent. Behold the penalty minutes ratio of Rechlicz:
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This man spent the vast majority of his 2010s NHL career sitting in a little room by himself. They shouldn’t have bothered to issue him a hockey stick. He was not a hockey player. He was a brave wanderer. He did not play the sport he played, and I celebrate him for that.
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Joseph Sandoval
Bantamweight fighter, UFC, 2011-2012
Sandoval went 6-2 as a fighter, with both losses handed to him in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Forty-five seconds into his UFC career, Joseph Sandoval got kicked in his penis and balls. It was an accidental low blow from Walel Watson, and things like this just happen from time to time, but the broadcast heaped on an extra indignity. You might wonder why in the world this is captured in slow motion:
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Well, during the stoppage, they pulled up a slo-mo replay just so announcers Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg could laugh at him.
ROGAN: A replay, because America loves these. There you go, folks.
GOLDBERG: [laughing] We show it ‘cause we can.
ROGAN. Yes. Sit at home on your couch and be happy that’s not you.
GOLDBERG: [laughing]
Seconds later, Sandoval took a dozen hammers to the face and was knocked out just over a minute into the fight. He returned to the octagon in 2012 for a prelim bout against Nick Denis, who threw some devastating elbows at his head and knocked him out in just 22 seconds. That was it for his UFC career.
Typically, entry-level UFC prelim fighters get $10,000 to show up and fight and an additional $10,000 if they win, which is an absurdly low level of compensation. Accounting for the gym fees, training, licensing, nutrition, and everything else a fighter like Sandoval has to pony up for, he quite possibly actually lost money on this venture, essentially paying for the privilege of taking a thrashing in the octagon, getting kicked in the wiener, and being made fun of by the Fear Factor man.
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Mike Trout
Outfielder, Los Angeles Angels, 2011-2019
Don’t get mad at me. This is exactly what he wants.
I recently set up a poll of my Twitter followers to ask them whether they know who Mike Trout is. These people, of course, are far more likely to be sports fans than the average person. Even then, of the approximately 7,000 responses, a full third — 33.8 percent — responded that they’re either only vaguely aware of him, or they have no idea of who he is.
The same people who are unfamiliar with Trout are certainly also unfamiliar with Wins Above Replacement, or WAR. This baseball metric is an effort to estimate how many more wins a team won with a given player than they would have with a replacement-level player in his place. Remember that this is a counting statistic, like home runs or RBI:
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Trout is only 28 years old. Even if he retired today, his WAR of 72.5 would eclipse 68 percent of all players in the Hall of Fame. Earlier this year he surpassed Derek Jeter, who played until age 40. If his next season is anything like his last eight seasons, he’ll sail past Frank Thomas, Reggie Jackson, Joe DiMaggio, and Pete Rose before his 30th birthday. The season after that, he’s very likely to pass Nolan Ryan, Ken Griffey, Jr., and Chipper Jones.
Forecasting WAR is a pretty stupid game to play, so let’s at least stay conservative. If Trout immediately regresses to playing 5.0 WAR seasons, rather than his usual 9.0, and retires 10 years from now, he’ll move just barely above Lou Gehrig. Babe Ruth is probably the only guy out of reach. Apart from him, there’s no telling where he’ll end up, but we’re headed for a future in which Mike Trout is considered one of the very greatest baseball players who ever lived.
He is not as well-known as Tim Tebow, who hit .163 in triple-A last season, has never appeared in the major leagues, and is probably the most well-known active baseball player in America.
This is a triumph for Trout, who is getting exactly what he wants. MLB commissioner Rob Manfred recently took the unusual step of criticizing Trout for not putting in the effort to market himself, but Trout responded with one of my favorite character traits: genial, kind, and yet absolutely, immovably stubborn. All good, man! Cool! I like to play baseball and spend time with my family. Good luck with your business ventures.
He’s accomplished the impossible. He’s the greatest player of his generation, he’s played in Los Angeles for nearly a decade, and he’s less famous than every member of the Kars 4 Kids band.
Trout’s career is also a case study in how little individual greatness can matter in baseball. In terms of ability, he stands above his peers like Lamar Jackson and LeBron James do. Jackson has transformed his team into the best in the NFL. The NBA orbits around James. Nine years into the Trout era, the Angels have never won a playoff game, and have finished with a losing record in each of the last four seasons.
Many great athletes have been thought of as godlike, but being great is only half the idea. To be a god, you must also be invisible.
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Maurice Simpkins
Special teams, Green Bay Packers, 2010
Maurice Simpkins was a computer programmer who made some extra cash playing linebacker for the Green Bay Blizzard, an Indoor Football League team. A block up the street, the Packers were plagued by injuries. Desperate to shore up their special teams unit, they signed Simpkins. “He was added to camp as just a body, basically,” explained Joe Buck, just after Simpkins registered one of the unlikeliest kick returns ever.
It’s unclear exactly how many plays Simpkins was on the field for. He was certainly never meant to touch the ball. Near halftime on Oct. 10, 2010, Washington kicker Graham Gano squared up and kicked the ball right at A.J. Hawk’s helmet.
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Whether he did so intentionally, I can’t say, but it’s what allowed Simpkins to go into the books as a kick returner.
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He did the smart thing, which was to fall on the ball and lie there until tagged. Simpkins never touched the ball again. He now runs a tech consulting firm, and I hope to God that when those 2010 Packers went on to win the Super Bowl, they gave him a ring.
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Rico Richardson
Wide receiver, Tennessee Titans, 2014-2015
In football, a “target” refers to an instance of a player being thrown the ball, whether or not he catches it. It’s been tracked as an NFL statistic since 1992. In the decades since, only 11 players have ever received five or more targets without ever actually catching the ball once in their entire career.
For most of these men, this wasn’t such a big deal. Micah Ross, Isaiah Burse, Mitchell Galloway, and Terrence Warren were listed as receivers, but really spent most of their time as kick and/or punt returners. Dominique Davis, Kion Wilson, Khreem Smith, Jeff Smith and Tim Johnson played other positions entirely, and were largely targeted in gimmick plays. The only true receivers ever to suffer this fate are the Patriots’ Anthony Ladd, who played briefly in 1998, and the hero of our story, Rico Richardson.
Richardson was a former high school track and field champion who ran an impressive 4.38 40-yard dash at an NFL Combine. After going undrafted in 2013, he became a practice-squad regular who bounced from team to team. In 2014, he landed on the Titans’ roster, and on Nov. 1, 2015, he was thrown his first-ever NFL football.
Fourth-and-4. The Titans are down by two scores with just under five minutes left in the game. Their quarterback, Zach Mettenberger, puts it on the money, but when the Texans’ Johnathan Joseph swoops in to knock it out of the way, there isn’t much Richardson can do about it.
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Minutes later, with the game all but conceded, Mettenberger leads Richardson straight into double-coverage. He has zero chance of hauling this in, and is clobbered.
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Two weeks later, the Titans are once again wrapping up a loss in the final minutes, this time with Marcus Mariota behind center. Wideout Justin Hunter is injured, pressing Richardson into action. Mariota tries to find him deep, but sails an uncatchable ball way over his head.
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It’s now Nov. 19. Titans at Jaguars. It’s the last NFL game Richardson will ever play. Near halftime, Mariota drops back into his own end zone on third-and-14. Richardson has shaken his man and set the table for a wide-open first down.
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Mariota puts it even further over his head, and the Titans punt.
We’re late in the fourth quarter now. The Titans trail by six. With 1:10 remaining, Mariota is forced to scramble out of the pocket. Since Richardson is within 20 miles of the throw, he goes in the books as the targeted receiver, but he can do nothing but watch as a nameless staffer catches the ball several steps out of bounds.
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Five seconds remaining, Titans still down by six. Richardson is about to get an opportunity no one like him ever, ever gets. Titans head coach Mike Mularkey calls a play that specifically calls for the ball to be thrown to the wideout on the right side.
That’s Richardson.
A timeout is called before the play, giving Mularkey every opportunity to switch him out for any one of his other receivers. He doesn’t! On the play that will decide the game, Mularkey is sticking with a guy who has never caught an NFL pass.
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Richardson’s odds aren’t great. The Jaguars have pulled seven guys all the way back, essentially making this a short Hail Mary. What’s important is that he has a chance. There would be no better way to establish his place on an NFL roster than to haul in the game-winning touchdown.
This time figures to be different. Every other ball he’s ever been thrown has been impossible to catch, whether out of bounds, 1- feet over his head, or directly into double-coverage. We can say this much about the Hail Mary: it’s almost certainly going to be inbounds, with a high, slow arc that will give Richardson enough time to make a play on it. No matter what happens, no matter how much traffic there is in the end zone, he will finally have a chance. That is all we, his biggest fans, are asking for. A chance.
Mariota takes the snap. Richardson races upfield, hits the goal line, breaks left, and turns to see that the Jaguars’ four-man rush has somehow eaten the Titans’ line alive. Mariota is looking, looking, looking, and chased down from behind.
He didn’t even make a throw.
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At the end, the coaches’ camera catches Richardson in the corner. He’s standing bolt upright, arms at his sides and feet right next to each other like a toy soldier, watching his career arrive at its end.
The Jaguars, a bad team that will finish 5-11, have beaten the Titans, another bad team that will finish 3-13, in a game immediately forgotten.
0 notes
camelliacats · 7 years
Text
Quick as a Whip
A freeverse poem, best viewed on FFN or AO3.
Fic: "Quick as a Whip" [FFN] [AO3]
Pairings/Characters: Regulus Arcturus Black/Madam Rosmerta
Rating: K
Words: ~480
Additional info: romance, angst, cross gen, poetry, freeverse, sequential, Marauder era, 2nd person POV
Summary: Regulus succeeded. He's a hero now. And he has one thought in mind: He muse return home...but where is home?
"Like a pawn
on the eternal board
who's never quite sure
what he's moved towards
I walk blindly on"
—Depeche Mode, "The bottom line"
%%%%%%%%%%
You've done it
Finally!
You've done it
&& it's something
of which you can be proud
be very proud
very, very proud
You're in the limelight now, boy…
No…No, you're a
M A N
now
More…More of a man than your brother ever
could hope to be
because you went right to the source
With your cleverness, you solved the puzzle
&& completed a fraction of the
picture
So go on
Accept your reward
You've earned it
Go on home
Act as though nothing too
big
happened&
it'll all be
a l l r.i.g.h.t
Because she'll be the first one there
The first to see you
The first
first
fir—
Ohh…
It's hitting you now,
slowing you
killing…
Your mind's going fuzzy…
Wait! Get out of the bloody cave first
If he sees you there
If he sees you there…!
You know you won't stand a chance
Sure, there's not
much of one, even if
you return home
But at least if you leave this
a c c u r s e d
place, then
you'll get to see her one more time
You both remember one last shared
moment
before you left, sure you'd
D I E
as soon as you arrived here
But that wasn't the case
It wasn't it at all
You weren't expected to be there
(at least He wasn't there)
But the barriers put up
couldn't stop you
You worked it out
History
Half-life
H!o!r!c!r!u!x!e!s
One by one
Seven of seven
(actually, one out of seven)
but still
You've helped the world
even if it was at the cost of your li…
Ugh, don't think about this anymore…
Just go home, go
She's waiting for
y o u
Apparate back…
Hmm, you didn't Splinch yourself
(a lucky bastard to the end, old boy)
The castle's in view
(but you have no need to see that place again)
You traipse through your favorite haunt—
Hogsmeade.
You're finally getting…
somewhere in life…
Might as well have a butterbeer…
To-To celebrate…
your…return…
No, no…
Forget it
Don't let her see you like this
Your former master's really cunning, you realize
Instant death is too
merciful
But this slow death…
as you try to get back to your love…
This is what really kills you
You can't bear to have her see you like this
But you want to see her so badly
(the first thought wins out)
You turn away, thinking
Maybe it'd be better…
Let her think you've died there
(as you both thought would happen
anyway)
……
too late…
She's found you
&& you've seen the one thing you regret the most—
her painful tears she cries for
you
So you give her the locket
Tell her to get it to Kreacher
&—
knowing you can trust
h_e_r
You let yourself find peace
& it clicks.
You fought to get home
&& you did,
Knowing that "home"
is that place
right in her
a~r~m~s
O.O! I can't believe it… I mean, I have another idea to do about the last moments in Reggie's life, but this one was just perfect. This really sums it up, I think. And I could totally see this fitting into canon—don't you? :D
Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!
~mew
2017 note: Ahhh, I've written about Reg's final moments several times since 2010, but I still enjoy this take… Poor Ros, tho, having him return only to die in her arms… ;w;
0 notes
newstfionline · 4 years
Text
Headlines
The Other Way Covid Will Kill: Hunger (NYT) Long before the pandemic swept into her village in the rugged southeast of Afghanistan, Halima Bibi knew the gnawing fear of hunger. It was an omnipresent force, an unrelenting source of anxiety as she struggled to nourish her four children. Her husband earned about $5 a day, hauling produce by wheelbarrow from a local market to surrounding homes. Most days, he brought home a loaf of bread, potatoes and beans for an evening meal. But when the coronavirus arrived in March, taking the lives of her neighbors and shutting down the market, her husband’s earnings plunged to about $1 a day. Most evenings, he brought home only bread. Some nights, he returned with nothing. “We hear our children screaming in hunger, but there is nothing that we can do,” said Ms. Bibi, speaking in Pashto by telephone from a hospital in the capital city of Kabul, where her 6-year-old daughter was being treated for severe malnutrition. “That is not just our situation, but the reality for most of the families where we live.” It is increasingly the reality for hundreds of millions of people around the planet. As the global economy absorbs the most punishing reversal of fortunes since the Great Depression, hunger is on the rise. Those confronting potentially life-threatening levels of so-called food insecurity in the developing world are expected to nearly double this year to 265 million, according to the United Nations World Food Program.
Farmworkers face coronavirus disaster (Politico) Within days of the coronavirus pandemic taking hold, the Trump administration had to confront a reality it had long tried to ignore: The nation’s 2.5 million farmworkers, about half of whom the government estimates are undocumented, are absolutely critical to keeping the food system working. It was a major shift for a president who continues to reduce any debate about immigration to stoking fears about border defense and crime. But the Trump administration and Congress have done little to help keep farmworkers safe on the job. Six months into the pandemic, according to a POLITICO analysis, these workers appear to be victims of the worst of the Covid-19 crisis. For several weeks, many of the places that grow the nation’s fruits and vegetables have seen disproportionately high rates of coronavirus cases—a national trend that, as harvest season advances in many states, threatens already vulnerable farmworkers, their communities and the places they work. From Oregon to North Carolina, counties with the highest per capita rates of coronavirus are some of the top producers of crops like lettuce, sweet potatoes and apples. In California, six out of seven of the state’s most Covid-ridden counties, per capita, are in the Central Valley, which produces the lion’s share of America’s fruits and vegetables.
What’s next? Devastating fires are latest challenge in West (AP) The path of devastation spans thousands of miles where flames have consumed people, homes and cars while leaving a barren, gray landscape. But the massive wildfires aren’t done chewing through the West, shrouding the skies with choking smoke or driving residents from their homes. It’s an ominous harbinger of fall for the region that was the first to be hit hard by the coronavirus and where the cries for social justice have rung especially loud this summer with protests in Portland for more than 100 days. “What’s next?” asked Danielle Oliver, who had to flee her home southeast of Portland ahead of the deadly flames. “You have the protests, coronavirus pandemic, now the wildfires. What else can go wrong?” She’s one of tens of thousands of people displaced by wildfires in Oregon, California and Washington state. Many more are living with air contamination levels at historic highs. The region’s death toll has topped 30 and could increase sharply, with Oregon officials saying they are preparing for a possible “mass casualty event” if more bodies are found in the ash.
Teacher departures leave schools scrambling for substitutes (AP) With many teachers opting out of returning to the classroom because of the coronavirus, schools around the U.S. are scrambling to find replacements and in some places lowering certification requirements to help get substitutes in the door. Several states have seen surges in educators filing for retirement or taking leaves of absence. The departures are straining staff in places that were dealing with shortages of teachers and substitutes even before the pandemic created an education crisis. Among those leaving is Kay Orzechowicz, an English teacher at northwest Indiana’s Griffith High School, who at 57 had hoped to teach for a few more years. But she felt her school’s leadership was not fully committed to ensuring proper social distancing and worried that not enough safety equipment would be provided for students and teachers. Add the technology requirements and the pressure to record classes on video, and Orzechowicz said it “just wasn’t what I signed up for when I became a teacher.”
Paulette rolls toward Bermuda; Sally threatens Gulf Coast (AP) Residents of Bermuda were urged to prepare to protect life and property ahead of Hurricane Paulette, which was forecast to become a dangerous hurricane Sunday as Tropical Storm Sally intensified in the Gulf of Mexico. Paulette gained hurricane status late Saturday and was expected to bring storm surge, coastal flooding and high winds to Bermuda, according to a U.S. National Hurricane Center advisory. A hurricane warning for Sally was issued Sunday morning from Grand Isle, Louisiana, to Ocean Springs, Mississippi, and included metropolitan New Orleans. A storm surge warning and a tropical storm warning were also in effect for parts of the Gulf Coast. A slow moving storm, Sally could produce rain totals up to 20 inches (51 centimeters) by the middle of the week, forecasters said.
As Both Sides Dig In, What’s the Endgame for Belarus? (NYT) After more than a month of protests in Belarus, there is still no clear endgame in sight for either side, with Mr. Lukashenko and his foes both insisting they can prevail but neither offering a clear and plausible path to victory—other than continued peaceful defiance by protesters and relentless repression by the government. One way to break the stalemate that all sides, including Russia, say they could support would be constitutional changes to pave the way for new elections. But Mr. Lukashenko, having declared in August that “until you kill me, there will not be any more elections,” has shown no real interest in changing anything any time soon. He refuses to even talk with his foes, denouncing them as treasonous “rats” and “tricksters” who belong in jail, not at the negotiating table. Instead, he has focused on rounding up workers who organized strikes and methodically dismantling the opposition, whose most prominent figures have, one by one, been forced to flee abroad or been thrown in jail. Protesters have defied expectations by turning out in huge numbers each Sunday for the past four weeks despite government threats, a feat they hope to repeat this weekend. But Mr. Lukashenko, emboldened by Russian support, has only grown more insistent that he is not going anywhere.
France Daily Coronavirus Cases Top 10,000, Most Since Lockdown (Bloomberg) France reported more than 10,000 new coronavirus cases on Saturday, the largest daily increase since the end of the country’s lockdown in May, a day after Prime Minister Jean Castex warned of a “clear worsening” in the spread of the virus. The French government is trying to avoid another national lockdown, and people will have to live with the virus and be vigilant about sticking to precautions, Castex said in a speech Friday. With cases also spiking in neighboring countries, including Germany, Spain and the U.K., Western Europe has reemerged as a global hotspot for infections.
Fed-up Lesbos islanders, migrants stuck waiting for Europe to decide (Reuters) Crisis-weary residents of the Greek island of Lesbos and the thousands of migrants stranded there after this week’s refugee centre fire are united by one thing—they all want to see the migrants moved off the island. Lesbos and other islands off the Turkish coast have been among the main entry points for migrants into Europe for years, peaking in 2015-16 when around a million people arrived in a seemingly endless stream of small boats. The overflowing camp that burned held more than 12,000 migrants—four times the numbers it was supposed to—forcing thousands to live in squalor and putting a strain on both its occupants and residents in nearby areas who have mounted a series of protests this year demanding the centre be shut down. But with the European Union unable to reach agreement between countries like Greece and Italy, which want the bloc to share the burden and others refusing to take in refugees, for the moment Lesbos’ 86,000 islanders and migrants remain unwillingly together.
Ageing and empty: Japan next premier’s hometown highlights challenges ahead (Reuters) It’s noon on a warm day in the Japanese town where Yoshihide Suga, Japan’s next prime minister, grew up, but more than half the stores in a downtown shopping arcade are shuttered and sidewalks stretch empty except for the rare elderly passerby. A building proclaiming “I Love Yuzawa” stands abandoned. A giant department store nearby hulks over the street, mostly unusable because it doesn’t meet earthquake safety standards but too expensive to tear down. The remote part of Yuzawa where Suga grew up, 480 km (300 miles) northeast of Tokyo, captures key challenges his administration will face: half the residents in the area are over 60. Depopulation and ageing have meant a dramatic fall in tax revenue, pushing the town’s government, reliant on support from Tokyo, to consider merging with other towns in Akita prefecture. “Japan is the world’s fastest-aging nation, Akita the fastest-aging prefecture and Yuzawa one of the worst in Akita,” said town employee Toru Abe, noting that close to 40% of all Yuzawa residents are over 65, compared to 28% for the nation.
Scores arrested at protests in Australia’s coronavirus hotspot (Reuters) Police in Australia’s Victoria state arrested 74 people and fined 176 for breaching public health orders as scattered protests against a weeks-long coronavirus lockdown continued for a second straight day across Melbourne. A riot squad marched through fruit and vegetable stalls at the city’s landmark, the Queen Victoria market, before the scuffling with protesters erupted, with some people throwing fruit at the police, television footage showed. The protests came after 14 people were arrested at small dispersed rallies on Saturday and as Victoria is set to ease its lockdown restrictions very slightly as of Monday, as the number of new daily coronavirus cases continued to fall in the country’s hotspot.
Israel to set new nationwide lockdown as virus cases surge (AP) Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Sunday announced a new countrywide lockdown will be imposed amid a stubborn surge in coronavirus cases, with schools and parts of the economy expected to shut down in a bid to bring down infection rates. Beginning Friday, the start of the Jewish High Holiday season, schools, restaurants, malls and hotels will shut down, among other businesses, and Israelis will face restrictions on movement and on gatherings. The lockdown will remain in place for at least three weeks, at which point officials may relax measures if numbers are seen declining. Israelis typically hold large family gatherings and pack synagogues during the important fast of Yom Kippur later this month, settings that officials feared could trigger new outbreaks.
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