#i deal with actual URGES that i don't want to actually do but my brain is like 'what if u did (harmful thing here) it'd b so easy'

[mavsstar]

｡･ﾟ𝐎𝐡 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

Summary︱Ransom comes to spend the holidays with his twin brother, Andy and his fiancé. He can't stand her at all despite her being one of the sweetest people on the earth. Turns out all they needed was to bond.

Pairings︱Ransom Drysdale x Virgin!Fem!Reader, Andy Barber x Virgin!Fem!Reader

W.C︱2.8k

Warnings︱It's Ransom, that a big warning in itself, cursing, kissing, pet name: kitten, manipulation, slight coercion (if you blink you'll miss it), oral (f!), cheating, daddy kink

Author's note︱It's been too long and now I'm finally back! This was fun to make and I've had this idea in my head for weeks now! Have fun reading :) Feedback is appreciated!

You adored your fiancé Andy, he was a kindhearted gentleman that loved you with his entire being. You couldn’t ask for more in a man. Everyone around him approved of you and liked you quite a lot.

Well most of them. 

The only person who couldn’t get on board was his twin, Ransom. Though the feelings were mutual. You thought he was too crude and he thought you were too much of a prude. Unlike him, you’ve never vocalized your dislike towards him, preferring to be kind to him even if you wanted to sew his mouth shut. 

The good part was you rarely got to see the man. You were safe from seeing his face anywhere you went. That was until Andy came home with a surprise. 

“Ransom is going to spend the holidays with us this year.” 

You froze. “Excuse me?” 

“There’s too much going on and I won’t be able to make it home this year and Ransom doesn’t want to go spend the holidays with the family,” Andy began to explain, “I don't want him to be alone so I invited him to stay with us.” 

“Which holidays?” You asked, hoping it would just be Thanksgiving. 

“All of them.” 

It felt like someone dropped an anvil on you. He was going to spend at least a month with you in your shared house, day and night. “And he said yes?” You questioned, surprised he even gave Andy an answer. 

“I was surprised too,” he answered. “He’s coming on Thursday.” 

It was Tuesday, meaning you only had a day to prepare. You dropped your shoulders in defeat. “I better start preparing the guest room,” you said as you got up from the couch. 

Andy grabbed your arm as you tried to walk past him, pulling you into his chest. He rested his chin on the top of your head. “Look I know you two aren’t the best of friends and it’ll be difficult but I want him here with us. Maybe after he really gets to know you, you’ll get along.”

“There’s a better chance of me growing another inch than us getting along.” 

Thursday came a little bit too fast for your liking. One moment you were talking with Andy about Ransom and within a blink of an eye you were at the airport, waiting for him. His flight landed 15 minutes ago and most of the passengers were already off. But he just had to make a fashionably late entrance. 

“There’s my little brother!” Ransom exclaimed. 

“You’re older by a minute,” Andy said as he got up from his seat. 

“A minute and 10 seconds.” Ransom’s answer made Andy playfully roll his eyes. Ransom then turned his attention to you, flashing you a fake smile. “Look who’s here! Did you shrink while I was away? I almost didn’t see you.” 

It was early in the morning. Even more so to be dealing with Ransom’s remarks. You resisted the burning urge to roll your eyes at him. “It’s nice to see you Ransom, I hope you had a nice flight.” 

“It was the absolute worst actually-” He began to complain but it all became white noise to your brain. You just nodded your head as he complained, occasionally saying that must’ve sucked just to make it seem like you were actually paying attention. 

For the first couple of days Andy was able to keep him busy and out of your way but he had to go back to work, leaving you with him all day. At first he would stay for only part of your day, often going out to do something other than being in the house with you. Eventually he just stayed around the house more and more. 

“Are you seriously reading again?” Ransom asked as he plopped down next to you on the couch. 

You quickly tore your gaze from your book to look at Ransom. “Mhm,” you hummed in confirmation, going back to reading your book. 

“Weren’t you just reading this morning?” He asked. 

“I was finishing the last couple of pages. Andy doesn’t like it when I lose sleep to finish reading,” you answered. “This is a different book.” 

“Can I see?”’ He asked with complete sincerity. You then handed him the book only for him to throw it across the room, earning a small ‘Hey!’ from you. “Well stop reading, I’m bored.” 

“What do you want to do?” You asked him as you fully turned your body towards his. 

“If I knew what to do I wouldn’t be here, telling you I’m bored.” 

You decided to ignore his comment and pretend like he never said it in the first place. “Well…we could go grocery shopping.” 

“Grocery shopping? Really?” He questioned, unamused at your suggestion. Much to his dismay, he saw that you were 100% serious. “Fine, let's go.” 

The drive to the grocery store was longer than necessary. Ransom refused to let you drive, part of you figured it was an ego thing but he claimed that a man should always drive. Never the woman. He also refused to use a map, claiming that he knew where he was going. 

After 25 minutes of driving in circles, you finally got to the grocery store. It was practically empty, not a lot of people wanted to do their weekly grocery shopping at 7:27 pm. 

“Now that I’ve been thinking about it, you’re always at the house,” Ransom commented. “Do you not have a job?” 

“Not anymore,” you said as you pushed the cart towards the dairy section. “I used to be a secretary.” 

“Why’d you quit?” 

“Andy said I didn’t have to work anymore and he would take care of me.” You grabbed a gallon of milk and crossed it off your mental grocery list. You started to push the cart down the section towards the produce. “It was too overwhelming for me and Andy didn’t like that I was so stressed out.” 

“How hard can that be?” Ransom scoffed. 

“It’s a lot harder than you think Ransom,” you replied. “It didn’t help that I was one of the few women there. I had a terrible boss.” 

“What do you do all day then? Just sit there and look pretty while you wait for Andy to come home?” 

“I clean, run some errands, go out—I do the same things you do but you don’t seem the type of person to clean or run errands.” 

“Why would I?” He scoffed. “That's why I hired a maid and an assistant to do all that for me.” 

“Not surprised trust fund baby,” you muttered under your breath. 

“What did you say?” Ransom asked, having fully heard you. 

You looked up at him, “Oh nothing,” you lied, you even went as far as to pull out doe eyes. “Oh we need bread!” 

 “No, no, no,” Ransom repeated as he grabbed your upper arm, halting you from moving any further. “Repeat what you said.” 

“I said we need bread.” 

“Before that.” 

“I said nothing,” you answered, unknowingly pushing his buttons in the sweetest way imaginable. 

His hand traveled up your upper arm to your cheeks, slightly squishing them together as he inched closer to your face. You could feel his breath fanning over your lips.

“Kitten, repeat what you said, I’m not going to ask again.” 

Your lips parted open but no sound came out. You felt heat pooling from the pit of your stomach rising to your face. You tried to peel your eyes away from his only for him to chase after them. 

“I-I said, not surprised trust fund baby,” you mumbled loud enough so he could hear it.  

The corner of his lip tugged into a sly smirk, “See now was that so hard?” He asked as he dropped his hand. “Good girl.” 

Ransom evoked a spark inside him that night. He noticed how your body went hot under his touch and he loved it. It was as if you have been untouched and you’re just now tasting a man’s touch. You would grow shy under his gaze if he stared at you for too long. You would jump every time his hands brushed your body. 

Ransom’s favorite part was when he would inch his face close to yours and your eyes would dart to his lips right before going back to his eyes. 

Though part of him couldn’t help but think it was all an act. There was no possible way a woman like you could be so innocent. That you would pretend to get flustered everytime he made a sexual innuendo. That you would get uncomfortable and squirm in your seat everytime a sex scene came on. 

It had to be an act. 

Like right now, you were in the kitchen cooking food for you and Ransom. You were wearing Andy’s sweater with a pair of small pj shorts and Ransom had made a crude comment. 

“You and Andy must've had crazy kitchen counter sex if that’s what you wear to cook.” 

“Oh my,” you squeaked out. “We don’t–uh–Andy and I-” 

“Oh please drop the act,” he scoffed.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “What act?” 

“That!” Ransom exclaimed. “The pretending you’re all innocent and being such a fucking prude. Everyone has sex, it’s normal.” 

Except you haven’t had sex yet. You always wanted to wait until marriage for personal reasons and Andy didn’t mind one bit. He completely respected your decision and liked the idea of waiting, it’s building tension the two of you would unleash on your wedding night. 

“It’s not an act Ransom,” you answered. “I just don’t feel comfortable talking about…it.”

“You’re kidding me right?” He remarked. He took your silence as a no. Then the realization slowly crept in his mind. “Unless…” 

“Unless what?” You questioned. 

“Unless you’re a virgin? But that’s impossible…right?” His tone was teasing and almost humiliating. 

You felt the shame burn your cheeks and you imagined the words ‘virgin’ written in big red bold letters across your forehead. People have assured you that it’s okay to be a virgin and everyone takes life at a different speed. You were just getting comfortable with it. 

“Answer me kitten.” 

“Yes,” you whispered, looking down at your feet. 

Ransom swallowed the last 4 steps that were between the two of you. His right hand went under your chin, softly lifting it up. “So he’s never touched you?” Ransom asked as his left hand slowly began to graze your body. 

“No.” Your breath hitched when his large hand rested on your hip, pulling you flush against him. You bumped into his chest with a soft grunt. His hands went to your back when he felt you shift backwards, caging you against him.

“Please let me go Ransom,” you softly pleaded as you tried to pry him off. 

“No,” he said as his head dipped to your neck, placing fervent kisses. “You want this and you know it.” 

“No–ngh–I can’t do this to Andy.” 

Ransom stopped the attack on your neck. You could see it in his face that he was bothered at the mention of his twin brother. “We’re not doing anything bad, kitten. We’re just having fun, you want us to get along, don’t you?” 

“This is bad Ransom, I’m cheating on my fiance,” you protested. “I can’t do this.” Ransom had you in his grip and he wasn’t going to lose you. He refused to. 

“Andy’s cheating on you,” he blurted out. 

“What?” You questioned him. 

“It’s obvious, kitten. How else was he going to stay with you? He’s a man after all and men have needs.” 

"You’re lying,” you argued. “Why should I believe you?” 

“Because I’m his brother and I know the type of person he is.” His hands went underneath your sweater, slithering their way up to your breasts. “So I think we can have some fun. It wouldn’t be fair after all.” 

Ransom’s lips crashed onto yours before you could give an answer. You tasted like the strawberries you were eating just mere minutes ago. With every passing second, his kisses grew hungrier. 

“Jump,” he whispered against your lips. You obeyed and lifted yourself off the ground, wrapping your legs around his waist. He blindly stumbled into your bedroom. Carefully, he set you on the bed and unbeknownst to you, he had taken off your shorts and panties in one swift motion. 

His warmed calloused hand went to your thighs, spreading them as fast apart as he could. You were completely soaked. Ransom bit back a moan. “Oh kitten,” he purred. “I can’t wait to ruin you.” Ransom planted open mouth kisses on your ankle, working his way up to your inner thighs. Your head felt dizzy and your body was high off of his touch. When you felt Ransom kiss your cunt, you knew you were a goner. 

“Ransom,” you moaned out. 

“That’s not my name kitten,” Ransom murmured. He looked up at you through his eyelashes as he licked around your pussy lips. “It’s daddy. Now say it.” 

“Please daddy,” you whined. 

“If you stop saying it, I stop. Got it?” 

You rapidly nodded your yes, not trusting your own voice. You let out a strangled moan as Ransom licked a broad stripe against your pussy. 

“You taste so fucking sweet,” Ransom let out a moan of satisfaction, sending vibrations through you, making it more pleasurable than you ever imagined. 

Incoherent babbles left your mouth as he made precise, figure eights on your clit. You couldn’t help but lock your legs around his head, never wanting him to leave. You lazily propped yourself up on the bed to watch Ransom but it all went out the window when his lips sucked on your clit. 

“Oh my god!” You shrieked, your head falling back on the mattress. “Daddy! Feel s’good!” 

Ransom momentarily lifted his head, watching your blissed out state. “I know it does kitten,” he said, his voice dropping an octave. “Andy could never make you feel like this huh?” 

“No.” 

“I wonder how he would feel that I’m eating his pretty fiancé’s pussy? Making her scream daddy.” Ransom dipped his head back down and went at it again.

 His tongue goes through your fold, licking all your sweet wetness. You felt a familiar sensation only this time it was coming faster and harder. This felt nothing like this when you would play with yourself. 

“Oh daddy!” You screwed your eyes shut as you gripped the sheets. Your lower half took a mind of its own as you began to rock your hips against his face, chasing your high. A gasp fled your lips as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Suddenly the only word you knew was daddy, repeating it as if it was a prayer. 

“How was that, kitten?” Ransom teasingly asked. “Did daddy make you feel good?” 

“Mhm,” you blissfully hummed out. “S’good.” 

“That’s my girl,” Ransom praised as he pulled your shorts back up. “You did so good for me.” Ransom enjoyed watching you, you were spaced out and he didn’t even put his all into it. He could only begin to imagine how you would react when he really got done with you. 

“Now let's go finish cooking before Andy comes home.” He kissed you lips one more time before helping you off the bed.

Andy surprisingly came home earlier than he said he would. Usually would come home at 12, it was currently 10:06 pm. You had barely finished washing the dishes when you heard the door unlock.

“Hi honey!” Andy greeted you as walked over to kiss you. You turned your head to the side and his lips collided with your cheek. “What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned at your behavior. 

“Nothing,” you answered. “I’m heading off to bed, I’m really tired. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Goodnighttt,” Ransom sang as you left the room. 

“Goodnight Ransom.” 

Andy waited until you left the room to talk to Ransom. Once he saw he was in the clear, he turned to Ransom. “What the hell did you say to her?” 

“Nothing, why?”  Ransom asked, playing the innocent. “Trouble in paradise?” 

“Drop the act Ransom.” Andy stepped closer to him, placing his hands on his hips. “We were fine a couple days ago and now she’s acting weird. What did you do to her?” 

“I did nothing,” he said as he raised his hands in defense. 

Andy knew he was lying. If he really was telling the truth, he would’ve told him off and stormed off cursing at how his own brother doesn’t believe him. 

“Stay away from her,” Andy seethed through gritted teeth. “Don;t even think about laying a finger on her.” 

“Or what? You’re going to kick me out?” Ransom scoffed. “I saw her first and you took her away from me. I’m simply getting back what’s mine.” 

#ransom drysdale x y/n #ransom drysdale x female reader #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drydale x you #ransom drysdale #knives out #knives out fic #chris evans character fanfiction #chris evans characters #chris evans character x reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber #andy barber x y/n

[leeneir]

Hehy! If you are writing Yandere can I request canons for Iso?

Look at Me Please; Shy Yandere!Iso x Reader Headcanons P.1

I'm working on another req fic as we speak, but I'm taking breaks to do this one bc him being "Mine all mine" is very appealing🥰🫶

And yes, part 1. This prompt just got my Iso loving brain rolling.

Pre Relationship

I want you to think of these like its u and him progressing, as if its a timeline of ur relationship.

- A shy possesive yandere. You are his, no questions. But he doesn't have the courage to show it enough (for now.)

- Iso was always forced to cut off his connections due to the organization, but the Valorant Protocol was different. He found someone there worth going against everything he's known all his life.

- The moment his eyes set on you, he had an overwhelming urge to always be near you and always wanted to know where you were and who you were with.

- He spots you and Jett having flirty banter in the hallway and later during training 'accidentally' shot a bullet which shoots through the wall right next to her head. He barely glances at the wind radiant and mutter a half-hearted apology, but that glance was enough to give Jett the creeps.

- You notice how he's always near or around you and you decide to befriend him like the friendly person you were, you'll notice how his eyes fixate on you as if you were a precious jewel in the muddy dirt but don't pay it any mind.

- While you were chatting, he suddenly blurts out "You're beautiful," and immediately goes red in the face and stammering out apology after apology while he pulls his collar up to cover his face.

- You laugh as you try to calm him down, saying that you were flattered that he thought so. You place your hand on his shoulder while his back is turned to you and he freezes for a good 3 seconds before he looks back at you, his eyes had such intensity as they met yours. You pat and reassure him again, telling him that you thought he was handsome too.

- He decided something that day. Killing Omen wouldn't be worth it because it meant he'd have to cut off the valorant protocol, meaning he'd never see you again. Being with you was better than having to deal with his employers anyway.

- You, and your voice he couldn't get enough of, and your amazing skill and talent both in and off the battlefield, and your pretty face, and your pretty body, and your enchanting self that he wants all for himself.

- Back to actual headcanons. He's always very desperate to get your attention but he's too shy to actually ask for it. Which is why he'll always make sure to outperform everyone during training so that he can receive sweet praises from you that he'll repeat in his head for weeks.

- When you get injured out on the field on the same mission, Iso will go berserk. Even if it's just a graze. All you can do is hope that he'll be ok when he goes silent on the comms.

- Iso does NOT listent to reason and destroys his earpiece as he slowy digs his knife deeper into the enemies throat. How DARE they ruin your perfect body.

- He's always watching. Always in the darkest shadows where you never even know he's there. He has his eyes on you more than Cypher.

- Speaking of him, Iso has threatened Cypher to keep his prying eyes and ear aeay from you. He doesn't deserve to even be on the same world as you. His arena has space for a new corpse if need be.

- He doesn't take snacks offered to him by other agents. If you offer though, he wouldn't even eat it. He'd place it in his room with all the other memoirs he's collected from you.

- As time goes on, he gets braver. He starts putting his hands on your back, he initiates conversations, he offers you private training sessions and more. But that doesn't stop the ever growing urge to hold you, touch you, and keep you all to himself and not let anyone else even look at you.

- No one will get in the way. And I mean no one.

- If you get hurt again, he'll insist he'll patch you up himself. There's no need to go to Sage when he has an excuse to touch you can fix you up too.

- One day, you shoot your shot. You ask him out on a boba tea date, and he has to take a moment to compose himself. YOU were asking HIM out on a date? Was this a dream? Was this a prank by you and the others?

- Either way, he agrees with a soft smile, saying how he's been interested in you for a while and also wanted to ask you out but never knew how to. You laugh, your sweet, sweet, deliciously beautiful laugh he wants to hear more of and you joke about how you beat him to it, before setting up a time and meetup location before going off to your room to get ready.

- You don't notice the way his eyes are eating up the sight of you, and you don't notice how his soft smile turned into one of pure ecstasy and hunger. His face completely red at the idea of going on a date with you and is just so happy that he almost forgot about his plan to cause a minor life-threatening injury to Yoru for being such an asshole to you earlier that week. Almost.

#iso valorant #valorant #valorant iso #li zhao yu #iso #i love iso #valorant iso x reader #iso x reader #iso x reader hcs #valorant x reader #reader x valorant

[bonefall]

post/734733274896809984/do-you-ever-worry-your-own-writing-might-come-off that makes sense. i was asking because i'm afraid of accidentally writing misogyny myself and i kind of admire what you do

Hmm... I wish I had better advice to give you on this front, but honestly, the only thing I can tell you is to consider the perspective of your female characters.

Women are people. They have thoughts and feelings of their own, so like... just let them have their own arcs. A lot of the worst misogyny in WC comes from the way that the writers just don't care about their girls (or, in the case of tall shadow, actually get undermined and forced to rewrite entire chapters), so they're not curious about their lives, or WHY they feel the way they do or what they want, or any direction for their character arcs.

Turtle Tail as an example. She'll often just end up feeling whatever Gray Wing's plot demands. She's gotta leave when Storm dumps him to make him feel lonely. She shows up again to love him in the next book. Lets her best friend Bumble get dragged back to Tom the Wifebeater, but is sad enough about her death to be "unreasonably angry" with Clear Sky, and then calms down and accept Gray Wing is right all along.

And then she dies, so he can have his very own fridge wife.

In this way, Turtle Tail's just being used to tell Gray Wing's story. They're not interested in why she would turn on Bumble, or god forbid any lingering negative feelings for how she didn't help her, or even resentment towards Clear Sky for killing her or Gray Wing for jumping to his defense. She isn't really going through her own character arc.

She does have personality traits of her own, don't misunderstand my criticism, but as a character she revolves around Gray Wing.

So, zoom out every now and then, and just ask yourself; "Whose story is being told by what I wrote? Do my female characters have goals, wants, and agency, or are they just supporting men? How do their choices impact the narrative?"

But that's already kinda assuming that you already have characters like Turtle Tail who DO have personalities and potential of their own. Here's some super simple and practical advice that helped me;

Tally the genders in your cast. How many are boys, how many are girls, how many are others?

And take stock of how many of those characters are just in the supporting cast, and compare that to the amount you have in the main cast.

If you have a significant imbalance, ESPECIALLY in the main cast, fire the Woman Beam.

It's a really simple trick to just write a male character, and then change its gender while keeping it the same. I promise women are really not fundamentally different from men lmao. You can consider how your in-universe gender roles affect them later, if you'd like, but when you're just starting to wean yourself off a "boy bias" this trick works like a charm.

Also you're not allowed to change the body type of any girl you Woman Beam because I said so. PLEASE allow your girls to have muscles, or be fat, or be old, or have lots of scars. Do NOT do what a cowardly Triple A studio does, where the women all have the same cute or sexy face and curvy body while they're standing next to dwarves, robots, and a gorilla.

Or this shit,

If you do this I will GET you. If you're ever possessed by the dark urge, you will see my face appear in the clouds like Mufasa himself to guide you away from the path of evil.

Anyway, you get better at just making characters girls to begin with as time goes on and you practice it. It's really not as big of a deal as your brain might think it is.

Take a legitimate interest in female characters and try not to disproportionately hit them with parental/romance plots as opposed to the male cast, and you'll be fine. Don't think of them as "SPECIAL WOMEN CHARACTERS" just make a character and then let her be a girl, occasionally checking your tally and doing some critical thinking about their use in the story.

(Also remember I'm not a professional or anything, I'm just trying to give advice)

#I wish I had more succinct and practical advice to give you besides the woman beam trick #Honestly I just kinda feel it out because I like telling stories about girls #I made it fun for myself by clapping and cheering and whooping and hollering whenever a girl does something #because it's not fun to write like a monk in a monastery #With the spectre of Brother Smockbimble looming over your shoulder telling you to Write Perfectly Every Time #Characters aren't real people. You can just fix it if you happen to fuck up or do better next time with what you learned. #Making mistakes is just part of acquiring skill #and writing is an art just like painting or drawing. #So don't make a fun OC project into homework! You should be enjoying making your own art! Express yourself! #Please understand that when I'm ripping into the series I'm being so harsh because it's bestselling corporate media #Read by HUNDREDS of thousands of kids worldwide #Raking in millions of dollars a year. Written by a TEAM of professionals. #So I have higher expectations of it than of a fandom rando on the internet. Or even a self-published author who's just One Guy. #Hence why I'm infinitely more charitable to Ratha than I am to Battle Cats #bones gives advice

[folkwhorerain]

Just like clockwork.

Sam Carpenter x afab!Reader

gif not mine.

summary: Sam proves you that you don't have to face everything alone.

warnings: description of PMDD symptoms, depression, mood swings, insecure reader, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, bad writing (english is not my first language). Feel free to tell me if I should add more!

(Maybe a little out of character for Sam, but I needed to write this for my own benefit.)

author's note: I got diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) two weeks ago and I did not take it well at all. I just had another PMDD episode and it was really bad, so I wanted to write something to get it out my chest and since Sam is my current comfort character I wanted to write a ff about her comforting reader.

Please remember that this is based on my experience with this disorder and I do not intend to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Enjoy!

It hit you suddenly.

You were fine days ago until you weren't.

It intoxicated your brain without you noticing. You just thought you were being overdramatic as always but, like it happened almost every month just like clockwork, your mind proved you wrong.

It started with a numb sensation on your legs and an inexplicable fatigue, after a few days you started sleeping excessively and leaving the bed was more and more difficult everytime the blanket rocked you in its embrace.

Next you began feeling that heaviness inside your chest that haunted you just six or five days before your menstruation started. Again, just like clockwork. It doesn't happen every, single month but when it does, it's tough dealing with all the symptoms that accompany it.

"Shit." You whispered at the realisation that your PMDD was at its peak again. You will never get used to it. Everytime your period passed you mentally mocked at how much you overreacted, gaslighting yourself into believing that you were just being dramatic and that your disorder wasn't real, which it was actually. It was very real. You just needed to get into the next wave of depression to realise it, just to curse yourself for being so dramatic when your period passed again. It was a cycle you couldn't break.

As it always happened during these excruciating days, you were lying in bed with a urge to cry and a fatigue that came out of nowhere. You knew your symptoms would disappear as soon as your period started, but right now you just let yourself go at the inevitable sensations your disorder provoked you.

Your friends noticed you were detached from them and everytime they would offer you to spend time together or watch a movie, you would always refuse, taking a snack from the kitchen and heading immediately to your room, leaving your friends with a confused look.

You weren't ready for people to know about your disorder, so you only told your favorite sisters and Quinn since she's so nosy that she eventually figured out something was wrong.

"Is Y/N okay?" Chad asked with a hint of concerne in his voice and Tara attached to his sleeve. "She hasn't come out of her room for the past two days."

"I hope it has nothing to do with us," Mindy joked with her mouth full of food. Anika was at her side, stealing some chips from her girlfriend, who was too busy looking at Sam for some sort of explanation to notice. "We're good company, so that would offend me."

Tara looked at Sam with a knowing look. Her face held the same concern as the rest of the group and it only worsened when Sam stayed quiet, too lost looking at the calendar app.

Like the good girlfriend she is, she tracked your period just in case you needed extra help with your PMDD, so when the phone in her hands gave her the confirmation you were about to get your period, she immediately knew what was wrong and it almost annoyed her you didn't tell her like you promised to.

You were never one to ask for help or even talk about your feelings. You would rather walk on lava than saying something was bothering you, and Sam understood that. She was never open about her feelings herself and just suck them up until they didn't bother her anymore or she learnt to live with them. But when it comes to you and your health, it's different so she stood up from the couch of the apartment you, Quinn, Tara and Sam shared and walked towards her room which was now yours as well since Quinn moved in with you and took your old room. Not that you spent a lot of time in it anyway. You were always with Sam and most of your stuff was already in her room anyways.

"Y/N?" You heard Sam crack open the door and slowly walk towards the bed. You had your back to her, body fully covered by your weighted blanket. You stayed still. Hopefully she wouldn't hear you cry and just leave you be.

When you didn't answer the brunette thought you were asleep and contemplated if leaving was the best decision, but when she heard a sob escape your mouth (much to your dismay), she climbed into the bed and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, it's that bad again, isn't it?" She asked sympathetically as she stroked your back slowly. Her heart sank knowing you were feeling like this again and you decided to deal with it all alone.

You turned to look at her with red, puffy eyes. It took you a while to nod your head yes, not wanting to bother her with something that was only your problem and would probably just drag her into your spiral of sadness. But hiding was no use, it was clear as the sun that you were feeling shitty. "I wanna be alone, though."

Sam sighed quitely and squeezed your shoulder. "Don't push me away, Y/N, please. I'm not leaving you. I just wanna help."

You usually loved how she knew you like the palm of her hand, but as of right now it just annoyed you and it took all the strength you had in your already aching body to not snap at her. Therefore you took a deep breath and gave yourself some time before saying something you would regret. You weren't even angry at Sam. You didn't know what you were so angry about. You just were. You always felt like you were on the verge of exploding.

"I just–" you couldn't finish your sentence as you covered your eyes with both your hands and let out an annoyed groan.

Sam frowned sympathetically, both of her hands gripping gently your wrists in an attempt to not let you hide your feelings from her, no matter how bad they were. But you were persistent and there was no way you would've let her see you this way, so your hands didn't move. Not even a inch.

Sam took a deep, shaky breath as she thought about what could make you feel better. Keeping her composure was hard in a situation like this, but she knew it wasn't easy for you first. After all, it was you who had to deal with it in the first place.

You uncovered your eyes when you felt the weight on the bed was gone and your girlfriend had disappeared.

You pouted and tears started streaming down your face again, both from sadness and anger towards yourself. You couldn't believe you felt sad she left when you were the one who told her to leave you alone in the first place.

"Why do I have to be like this?" You whispered as you pulled yourself up and sit on the bed, throwing your phone on the bedside with too much force.

You hated it. You couldn't believe you had to feel like this because of something so… natural. Periods should be associated with life and birth. Hell, in some historic culture a menstruating person was considered sacred, you couldn't believe you had to deal with it in such a painful way.

You can't even say you couldn't wait for your period to start, because once you start bleeding, your ovaries feels like they're being stabbed over and over again.

Mentally excruciating PMS and painful menstruation. Great combo.

After a few minutes you heard the door open again and your girlfriend was standing there with a tiny smile and a glass of water accompanied by some snacks in her hands.

Your gaze softened at the sight and you wondered how could someone like you ever deserve someone as caring as Sam Carpenter.

"I know you forgot to take your meds, so here…" She cooed as she gave you the glass and your pills, which you gladly took but not before smiling appreciatively at the brunette. "I understand you want to be left alone and I accept it, but I just want to be with you throughout all of this. Please, let me take care of you."

"Sam–"

"We don't have to talk. We can just stay here and exist together." She was standing in front of you with a hopeful expression, waiting for you to give her permission to stay.

You took a few moments to think about it and meanwhile you got lost in the sight before you.

She had bags under eyes due to the tiredness two shitty jobs can give you and her usual jeans and sweater were replaced with pajama shorts and a blue tank top you were sure she stole from you. You loved how her black locks were styled perfectly even after a six hour shift and her dark eyes glistened with hope.

You must look like shit compared to her, not having the strength to comb your hair or eat a proper meal. You were even surprised you menaged to take a shower and brush your teeth. You'd probably look at yourself with disgust if you had a mirror in front of you. No way someone else would look at you differently.

Yet there she was, still looking at you like you were her whole world and when she looked at you like that it was almost impossible to say no to her, so you smiled weakly and patted the place beside you on the bed.

She smiled widely before she sank into the bed, covering her body with your favorite blanket. "Do you want me to hug you or you don't feel comfortable being touched?"

You suddenly felt a urge to be comforted and held, so you took this opportunity before you felt the need to be alone again and welcomed her in your arms. She wrapped her arms around your body, legs now entangled with yours. Her left hand wiped away your tears and the other stroked your arm slowly.

Guilt made its way through your body and that painful weight in your chest became heavier.

You hated yourself for being such a burden.

You didn't want people to deal with you when you were at you lowest. If you could, you wouldn't even deal with it yourself. But it was your mind and body, so ignoring its needs was not an option. But your friends and family had the opportunity to leave, to tell you to fuck yourself when you'd yell at them without an apparent reason, yet they didn't. Even when you pushed them away just like you did an hour ago and they decided to spend time together anyway. Of course that made you silently sob as you saw they could live without you.

It wasn't fair to think like that, you knew. But it wasn't you who had control of your mind when your depression was at its peak, it was your disorder and you could not disobey its will. No matter how much it hurt you.

"I'm so pathetic." You whispered with eyes full of tears again. Your thoughts were the worst part of these episodes. The voices telling you that you're not enough were persevering and it was hard to not listen to them. "I'm sorry you have to endure all of my shit. I would leave if I was you."

"That's not true, Y/N. You know you don't really think that." She whispered softly, placing sweet kisses on the crown of your head. "You're not pathetic for feeling this way. You didn't choose it."

You stayed silent, feeling paralyzed. The only thing you did was hug her tightly and stroke her hip affectionately.

Sometimes it scares you how much she knows you and how you think.

"I'm here no matter what. You are not your disorder. I knew there were gonna be ups and downs when I chose you, but just like you knew it when you chose me." She stopped talking just to give a few kisses on your neck, easing a little bit of the tension you felt. "If we gotta be honest, I'm the daughter of a serial killer who almost got herself and her friends killed just because of that. If there's someone who should leave, that's you."

A weak chuckle escaped your mouth at that last phrase. You weren't gonna leave her for that. Hell, you would rather be attacked by Ghostface than leave your girlfriend.

It didn't matter what Sam did or who she was. You knew the real her and you thanked the universe everyday for being able to see parts of her she hardly showed to anyone else.

You knew how hard it was for her after Richie turned out to be Ghostface and she decided to move to a city where people saw him like the victim and her like the villain.

Trusting new people wasn't an option for her and you were no exception when you responded to the anonymous ad of when her and Tara were looking for a roommate.

The first time you met her it almost looked like you were being interrogated, but when you left aside the thought of how pretty she was and you recognised her as one of the survivors of the Woodsboro attack, you understood why.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt her lips on your shoulder, and when you turned your head slightly to look at her, you saw she was already staring at you with a glint in her eyes she reserved just for you. "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

She bit your shoulder playfully at your comment making you crack a smile. "I love you."

"I love you, too Sam." And with that she gave the palm of your hand a kiss, next she shifted to your neck, your jaw and finally your lips.

You couldn't help but smile as you tried to ignore the heaviness you still felt in your chest.

It was hard dealing with you when you felt like this but, everytime you needed, Sam was there.

Just like clockwork.

That's all, people!

As usual, I hope you liked it.🫶🏻

If your PMS is so bad that it effects your daily activities, please talk to your doctor about it. It may be sign of PMDD or other premenstrual disorders.

Remember you are not alone and I'm always here if you need to talk.

I love you all. <3

#sam carpenter #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x you #scream #scream 5 #scream vi #melissa barrera #ghostface #tara carpenter #mindy meeks martin #chad meeks martin #quinn bailey

[thetriumphantpanda]

Cruel Summer | Javier Peña (Chapter Five)

Series Summary | Javier Peña is back in Laredo, this time for good. He hadn’t banked on you still being there, especially not with a wedding ring on your finger. A complicated shared history and plenty of unresolved feelings between the two of you should make for an interesting summer.

Pairing | Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word Count | 5.2K (oooops, I got carried away)

Warnings | Descriptions of domestic abuse (not from our boi Javi), talk of injuries, infidelity, cheating, SMUT, oral (f receiving) and unprotected PiV sex (please don't do this, be smart and safe), mentions of alcohol, cigarettes, and pregnancy.

Authors Note | Thank you all for being so patience with me whilst I got my head back into writing this. This took me ages to figure out in my mind but I'm so proud of what I've managed to produce. I really appreciate hearing what y'all think of this series, comments and reblogs really do make my day with this - so if you enjoy it, let me know!

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Ethan is furious. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so angry before. He’d arrived home late last night from his business trip, falling into bed sometime past midnight. He’d tossed and turned for a while as you pretended to be asleep next to him before he turned over, pulled at your arm to turn you onto your back and then crowded on top of you. You’d let him because it was easier than denying him, but when he pushed himself inside of you all you could think about was Javier. 

What would he do in this situation? You’d like to think he’d at least take some time to make sure you were enjoying yourself. Was he the type of man who would spend hours with his head between your thighs just because he liked the way his name fell from your mouth? You think he would be. Would he whisper sweet nothing’s into your ear in Spanish whilst he was buried deep inside you? God, you hoped so. By the time Ethan was spilling himself inside of you and rolling over, leaving you, as he always did, completely unsatisfied and feeling completely used, all your brain could focus on was the animalistic need to know exactly what Javier would do to you in bed. 

Now, as Ethan stands in the kitchen, fuming after he found the wads of cash from your farmer’s market sale, all you wanted to do was run. Run from this pathetic life and into whatever it was that Javier could give you. 

“I fucking told you I would get around to sorting it out!” He shouts at you, “And you had to go and completely disobey me! How does this make me look?” 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, “Ethan, it’s been pushing one hundred degrees the entire time you’ve been away, I need that new AC unit because otherwise I’m going to die in that shop, and I think a little bit of embarrassment is better than admitting to the town that I’m dead because you couldn’t be bothered to fix it.” 

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic,” He fumes, his skin flushing red, “I bet that asshole Peña had something to do with this.” 

“Because now every time I do something you don’t like it has to involve him?” You raged, “Newsflash Ethan, I’ve been doing things you don’t like since before we got married, and that certainly had nothing to do with Javier and everything to do with the fact you can’t stand me.” 

“Did he have anything to do with it?” 

You don’t know why you don’t lie in this moment. Maybe it would have been easier, less of an argument to deal with, but you can’t help yourself, “Maybe he did.” 

“I fucking knew it!” Ethan slams his fist down on the kitchen counter, “That asshole, trying to worm his way into my family, walking around this fucking town like he’s some sort of king because he took down Escobar,” You can’t help yourself but think that you might actually be able to see steam coming out of his ears soon, “And you!” He’s pointing a finger at you as he rounds the counter, “How many times do I have to tell you to stay the hell away from him, or are you just too fucking stupid to understand me?” 

It all happens at once. You’ve slapped him hard across the face and in this moment, you can’t tell which of you is more surprised. He’s stood inches away from your face with a look in his eyes that has panic settling in your stomach. He could kill you if he wanted to. It’s the first time you’ve thought he might, with his chest heaving and his eyes like daggers. You’re scared. 

“How. Fucking. Dare. You.” He spits out into your face, he’s got wide hands placed around the tops of your arms and before you know it your back is pressed against the wall, he’s squeezing the skin so hard that you’re crying out, “Someone needs to teach you some fucking respect.” 

If you weren’t so frightened, you’d have some stupid retort about the fact that it certainly couldn’t be him, because even with a ring around your finger you could never respect this man in front of you, but you keep your mouth shut. 

“Ethan please,” You whimper, “Please let me go, you’re hurting me.” 

“Oh, I’m hurting you, am I?” He jeers into your face, squeezing his hands around your arms even harder, “You should have thought about that before you fucking slapped me, stupid girl.”  

He pulls you back from the wall slightly before slamming you backwards again, the force of it causing the back of your head to hit the wall behind you, “You better lose the attitude or I will take us so far away from this place you’ll never see your stupid friends or your precious Javier Peña again, do you understand me?” 

You nod, sniveling through your tears, then he finally lets your arms go and steps away from you, “Get out of my fucking sight.” 

You don’t waste any time in doing just that, stopping just long enough to grab a thin cardigan and your car keys before your hurtling to your car with nowhere really to go. Your immediate thought is Javier, but it’s the middle of the day and he’ll be out helping Chucho on the ranch. You don’t think you can bare the heat of the shop, or the fact that you might have to interact with a customer, so that’s out too. There’s only one person left – Gabriela. There’s an internal battle you’re having with yourself, she’s so close to having her baby that you don’t want to intrude on her, but she’s the only person you can think of who will know what to do right now. 

You’re not really sure how you manage to make it to her house unscathed with the amount of tears that are dropping from your eyes and the way your hands are shaking, but you’re pulling up in front of her house in no time. 

“Good God alive, what on earth is the matter?!” She exclaims when she opens the door, pulling you into a hug, protruding belly crushed between you. 

“Oh Gabriela everything’s gone so wrong and I don’t know what to do.” You cry, sniffing into her shoulder, you pull away and briefly apologise for getting her shirt wet, to which she gives you a look that says ‘don’t be so fucking stupid’ before she’s ushering you inside. 

She waddles in front of you, clearly uncomfortable, and sternly tells you to sit at the breakfast bar whilst she boils some water to make tea. In no time at all there’s a steaming mug placed in front of you, and she’s sat herself down on the chair next to you with her own mug. 

“So, where do we start?” She’s coaxing you, hand holding your own. 

“I’m fucking miserable Gabs,” You speak softly, “And I don’t know what to do.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” She scoffs, “What’s he done this time?” 

“He found the money,” You’re looking into the amber liquid of the green tea in front of you, “Lost his mind that I’d done it without him, got cross because it was Javi’s idea and then told me to get out and leave him alone.” 

“Did he hurt you?” She asks, “And I swear if you lie to me once more about this, I’m actually going to lose my mind.” 

You nod, it’s small, but she catches it, and you can hear the inhalation of breath, “But it was my fault, I slapped him first.” 

“Did you slap him first all the other times he’s clearly hurt you?” You shake your head this time, “Show me.” She’s asking. 

You slowly slip the cardigan off your arms. You look down and there are perfect red welts on your skin where Ethan’s fingers had been digging into your arm earlier. No doubt in time they’d bruise, “Jesus fucking Christ.” Is Gabriela’s response. 

“I’m sorry Gabs, I didn’t wanna burden you with this I promise, but I didn’t know where else to go.” 

“You think this is a burden to me?” She’s imploring, catching your eyeline when you try to look away, “Cielito, this is nothing like a burden, it’s a bloody relief, I’ve been wanting you to tell me this for years.”

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew, dumbass, all those times you cancelled on me last minute and disappeared for days? You had to be hiding something, and the longer you’ve been with him the longer I’ve known he’s a horrible man – doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.” 

“What do I do, Gabs?” 

“Only you can answer that question, but that,” She points to your arms, “That’s assault, so you can go to the police, and then there’s always divorce.” 

“I don’t want to be with him anymore, but I can’t do this on my own Gabriela, I’m so fucking scared, he’s got everything, he’s going to take everything, I won’t have my shop anymore, I’ll be homeless, where do I even start?” 

Gabriela bites at her lip whilst she thinks, “You won’t have to do this alone, I promise you,” She’s got your hand clutched in hers again, “Can you give me a few weeks?” She’s asking, “I know it’s a lot to ask, but let me get this gremlin out of me first, and then I promise we’ll get you out, okay?” 

You nod in agreement because it’s more than you thought you’d get. The idea of freedom could surely see you through the next couple of weeks, “If it gets too bad then you let me know and we’ll sort something out, I promise, okay?” 

She’s hugging you then, the kind of bone crushing hug that only she would be capable of, and you can feel yourself crying again. What on earth had you done to deserve her? 

“I’ll get out of your hair soon, but can I borrow your phone really quickly?” You ask. 

“Of course, I need to use the bathroom again anyway, so I’ll give you some space.” 

Once she’s out of earshot, you’re dialing the number that you’d had memorized since high school, even with his years of absence. After a few rings someone picks up on the other end. 

“Hi, Chucho, it’s me.” 

“Ahhh Mija, how are you today?” 

“I’m well thank you, how about you?” 

“Not too bad thank you, just come inside to beat the midday heat for a while.” 

“Ah yes,” You smile, you’ve always loved the sound of Chucho’s voice, calm and stoic, reminding you of your own father, which is probably why you like it so much, “I hope you’ve got plenty of ice-cold lemonade,” You bite at the side of your thumbnail, “Is Javi there?” You ask, hoping it doesn’t sound like you’re trying to get rid of him too soon. 

“He is, let me just pass you over.” 

There’s the sound of shuffling on the other end of the phone and you can hear Chucho telling Javi it’s you on the other end, then there’s silence before he’s speaking. 

“Hola querida,” God his voice is like butter, “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” You reply quietly, “I just wanted to hear your voice, I hope you don’t mind me calling in the middle of the day.” 

“I wouldn’t mind you calling in the middle of the night, querida, don’t worry,” You can hear him drinking someone on the other end of the phone, “You sure you’re okay?” He asks again. 

“I was wondering if I could see you tonight?” You ask meekly, not wanting to make yourself a burden to another person today. 

“You can,” He’s replying, “Where?” 

“Can I come to you?” 

You can hear him shuffling a little on the other end of the phone, you can hear the shifting of paper, he must be looking at the calendar that’s hanging near the phone – his mother had insisted on it when she was still alive, and Chucho makes sure there’s a new one there every January 1st. 

“Yes,” He replies softly, “Pops has a poker game in town tonight according to the calendar, he should be gone by seven, is that okay?” 

“Yeah, of course, I’m happy with whatever is best for you, I’ll see you then.” 

“Alright, querida, take care and I’ll see you later.” 

“See you later, Javi.” You whisper softly before you’re hanging up the phone. 

You put the phone back on the receiver and rub your hands over your face, trying to ignore the pooling of nerves in your tummy. If Gabriela could sense all these years that something was off, then there’s no doubt that Javi will know as well. He’s the most perceptive man you’ve ever met. The dull ache of Ethan’s fingerprints on your arms were ever-present now, there was no way you’d be able to hide them from him. 

“You can stay here for a while if you want,” Gabriela’s voice calls from the living room, “I would only be folding baby clothes on my own.” 

You spend the rest of the afternoon helping Gabriela like she suggested, folding baby clothes, setting out diapers and toiletries in the bathroom and eating her famous enchiladas for dinner. Diego comes home sometime after five, giving you a hug, before he’s pulling out two beers which you enjoy with your friends in their back garden. The sun is setting and it’s nearing six in the evening when you bid them both farewell. 

“Please let me know if you need us, okay?” Gabriela whispers into your hair as she hugs you goodbye, “There’s isn’t a thing in this world that would stop us from helping you.” 

You bite back tears before you nod your head, giving Diego a similar hug, before you’re hopping in your car and driving out of town towards the Peña ranch. 

It doesn’t take as long as you’d anticipated but when you drive up you can see there’s only one truck parked outside which means Chucho must have already left for the evening. Javier is stood on the porch before you’ve stepped down from the truck. You make sure the cardigan you’d worn was buttoned up before you head over to him. 

“Evening, querida.” He speaks softly, dipping his head to kiss you on the cheek. 

Before he can fully pull away, you’ve got a hand on the back of his neck, pulling his lips to yours. His hands weave around your waist and you wrap your other arm around his neck to press your body more firmly to his own before you’re pulling away from him, breathless. 

“Evening to you too.” You smile, and it’s genuine. This man has done nothing but make you happy since he came back. 

“You want a drink?” He asks, giving your waist a squeeze, “I bought that wine you used to like drinking, although thinking about it now we were young so your tastebuds have probably matured.” 

You giggle and follow him inside, “They definitely haven’t, is it the white one that we used to drink out of the bottle against the tree?” 

He nods as he leads you to the kitchen, dipping into the fridge to pull it out. It is indeed the exact same brand of wine you’d get drunk on together when he was still around, “You want a glass, or shall we drink it like old times?” 

“Old times,” You reply with a smile as he undoes the screw top, “Can we sit outside?” 

He’s taking the first swig from the wine, pulling the same face he used to all those years ago, as he motions for you to head out to the back porch. You always loved this ranch at dusk. The way the sun set and bathed everything in gentle orange light, the fact there was no noise from the town to distract you, the sound of the crickets chirping. It was peaceful. 

Javi settles onto the bench, and you sit across from him, he leans his arm across the back of the bench and moves his head to tell you he wants you closer, so you shift your body to lean against his chest, head placed on his shoulder. You hope he doesn’t catch the discomfort when you lean too hard onto your arm and shift slightly, but if he does, he’s not mentioned it, instead, he’s passing you the wine which you take a drink from. 

“You sounded upset on the phone, querida, are you sure you’re okay?” 

You take another drink before you pass it back to him, “Ethan came home last night,” You’re speaking as you look into the distance, “Guess I just realized how much I enjoy it when he’s away.” 

“I’m sorry,” He says softly, bringing his hand to your arm to squeeze him into his side, it’s stings as he grips to the sore skin from earlier, but you think you manage to play it off, “What can I do to help?” 

He takes a long drink of the wine and then hands it back to you, watching intently as you do the same before you place the half-empty bottle on the floor, “Just kiss me Javi,” You speak, “Make me forget about it for a while.”  

“You want me to just kiss you, querida?” He asks, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, “Or do you want more?” 

You shift to look him in the eye, “I want it all Javi,” You lean up to press a chaste kiss to his lips pulling away before he can take more, “I’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?” 

He untangles himself from you and stands up before he stretches out his hand for you take, he must see the confusion on your face because he’s talking again, “If you’ve been waiting then I’m not going to fuck you on the porch, querida, come on.” 

You slip your hand into his and then he’s dragging you through the house and up the stairs. He opens the door to his room, which you don’t really take in, he’s motioning his hand for you to sit on the bed, which you do. 

He walks over to you and pushes your chin up with one of his fingers. He’s looming over you and if this was anyone else it would make you feel uncomfortable, but he’s looking at you like you were about to give him the world, before he’s leaning down and pressing his lips softly to your own. In the back of your mind you can feel him unbuttoning the front of your cardigan, it’s a relief because it’s so fucking warm in here, he’s pulling back from your mouth to push it off and then he stops. He’s not pulled it all the way off, the material bunching in the crook of your elbow because he’s seen. He’s seen the marks on your arms. Perfect red indentations of fingertips. 

He's kneeling in front of you now, between your thighs, as he takes one arm in his hand, “Did he do this to you?”  

“Javi please…” You beg him. 

“Did he do this to you?” He asks again, slower and with a register that tells you he isn’t messing around, you nod at him, “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” 

He’s standing like he’s going to get in his car and do it. You grab at his wrist, “Javi please, don’t,” You pull him back to you, “It was my fault.” You say softly, just like you had to Gabriela. 

“This?!” He’s back on his knees again, clutching at your arm, “This is never your fault, do you understand me?” He’s looking into your eyes again, then he softens, “It doesn’t matter what you did, you don’t deserve this.” 

“Please, will you just come back to me,” You plead, taking his face in your hands, “I need to forget him, just for tonight.” 

In the back of his mind he knows it’s not right, it’s just a distraction, and all he really wants is to know what’s going on, but the way your eyes are pleading with him, he can’t say no, “Only if you promise to talk to me after?” 

“I promise.” You reply almost immediately, and then he’s crowding you, he’s settling between your thighs but this time his lips are on yours and it’s overwhelming. 

You widen your legs as your mouth opens to him, tongues mixing together. You can taste the cheap wine and the cigarettes he swears he’s trying to give up on. He can taste a sweetness he’s never felt before when he’s kissed a woman. It fast and it’s messy, and you don’t understand why you’re moaning into his mouth when he’s not really touched you. Without breaking the kiss, he’s moving, you’re pushed back onto the bed and he’s settled between your thighs, and then he’s pulling his mouth from yours to trail hot, wet kisses over your throat. 

God, he wants to sink his teeth into your skin. Wants to mark you so that when you go home, he knows, knows that there’s someone out there who’s going to cherish you until his dying breath, going to protect you from men like him. He knows better, knows that you’ll be going home alone and any mark on your body would mean more marks from him, and Javi doesn’t think he can bare the fact that it’ll be his fault, so he sticks to kisses. He can feel your hands on his shoulders, sinking in through the material of his shirt and he wants more. 

He's pushing himself back from you, taking a moment to take his shirt off before his attention is back at you. You’re spread out on his bed, hair splayed out underneath you and the look in your eyes almost makes him cry. It’s admiration, that he’s sure of, but there’s something else in your eyes too, maybe it’s lust, maybe it’s happiness, he doesn’t know, but he isn’t sure a woman has ever looked at him like that. 

“God you’re beautiful, Javi.” You whisper as he leans back down to you. 

The feeling of your cool hands on his hot skin electrifies him, and he can feel his hands working your tank top up to expose the skin of your tummy. You lift yourself up a little so he can take it all the way off before he continues the trail of his lips over your collarbone and down between the dip in your breasts. He’s gently moving the straps of your bra down and takes the opportunity to undo the clasp at the back when you arch up into him. It’s discarded to the floor without a second thought and then his mouth is on you again. 

He uses the flat of his tongue to run hot stripes over your peaked nipple, whilst his fingers take the other peaked bud and starts rolling it between them. A whine drops from your lips, and you can feel him smiling into your skin and you arch up into him. He’s taking your nipple into his mouth, sucking and then using the tip of his tongue to run circle around it and all your head can think is how much you want his mouth doing just this further down your body. 

“You tell me what you like, querida,” He mumbles into your skin, “Wanna make you feel good.” 

“Your mouth,” You breathe out, head thrown back as he’s sucking your nipple into his mouth, “I need… fuck… I need it lower, Javi.” 

He’s lifted his lips from your tits and you’re moving your head to meet his eyes and he genuinely looks hungry. Like a man starved, with a smirk splayed across his lips, “You want me to eat your pussy, hmm?” 

He’s pushed himself back on his knees and for a split second before he’s pulling at your shorts to take them off, you can see he’s half-hard under his own denim. You’ve barely touched him, and this is how he is? It’s got pride swelling in your chest. 

He makes quick work of your shorts, throwing them to the ground along with your underwear. He takes a second to look at you, spread out and bare for him, and he thinks that if he died right now, he would die a happy man having seen you like this. He takes his thumb and runs it gently along the seam of your pussy, watching as your eyes close and you let out a breath. 

Javi stands briefly before he’s dropping to his knees on his floor. His hands are on either side of your hips, dragging you forward. He pulls you with such force that you bump your thigh into his face, but he’s not complaining. You expect him to tease you, but it turns out that he’s been waiting just as long as you have for this. He wastes no time in using the entire flat of his tongue to lick a hot, wet stripe from the bottom of your pussy to the top, which has an obscene moan dropping from your lips. He could listen to you make those noises for him all fucking day. 

One of his hands moves from your hips, he uses it to spread your pussy before he makes the same motion with his tongue as before but focusing its entirety on your clit. You think you might see stars. Once he’d started, he doesn’t stop. Spurred on by the obscenity dropping from your lips like, fuckjavi that’s so fucking good, and please don’t stop, he’s eating your pussy like it’s his death row meal. He’s lapping at the slick that gathers at your entrance, he’s suckling on your clit, or flicking it with the tip of his tongue, but it’s when he pushes two of his thick fingers inside you that you’re truly coming undone. 

You’re bucking your hips up into his mouth, grinding down on his fingers and then it’s all coming undone with that bright burst of pleasure you hadn’t felt in years. You can feel your pussy clenching around his fingers, and you can hear him suckling your clit through the aftershocks as your legs shake around his head. He slips his fingers out of you and finishes with one chaste kiss to your clit before he’s pulling at your arm to sit you up. 

You’re jelly until he kisses you. You can taste yourself on his mouth, sweet and sour with the mix of his cigarettes and it’s intoxicating. You can feel his slick fingers on your thigh as he uses it as a crutch to push himself off the floor. When he stands, his groin is right in your eyeline and now he’s not half-hard. Fuck, he’s bulging. You watch as his hands undo his belt and tear it through the loops of his jeans before he’s unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans right in front of your face. He steps back a little to let the remainder of his clothes pool on the floor, but then he’s stepping out of them and back towards you and you can’t help but reach out and take his cock in your hand. 

You look up at him, head thrown back with his eyes closed in pleasure. Your name drops from his lips as you continue working him with your hand, you’re just about to take him into your mouth when he speaks, “How do you want me?” 

It’s a crime that he’s making you choose because fuck, you want him in every way. You want him to fold you in half and pound into you, you want him to take you from behind whilst he uses his fingers on your clit, you want him to wake you up in the morning with kisses to your neck whilst he buries himself inside you from the side. 

“Can I ride you?” You ask quietly. 

“Querida, there’s a gun downstairs,” He speaks, settling himself down on his bed on his back, before he’s guiding you to straddle his hips, “If I ever say no to that, I want you to use it on me, okay?” 

You’re laughing, because it’s dramatic, but it cuts the tension with a knife. You’re both still laughing to each other when you’re shifting your hips and using your hand to line him up with your tight heat. He’s big, there’s no beating around the bush here, and as you sink down slowly onto him, his hands on your hips to guide you, you don’t think you’ve ever felt so full. 

You’re throwing your head back and breathing out his name as he bottoms out, hearing a similar moan from him as you start grinding your hips. He’s using his hands on your hips to guide you and the friction inside of you in addictive. You think if you could spend the rest of your days like this then you would give up everything to do so. 

“Fuck, hermosa, you look fucking incredible like this.” Javi purrs from underneath you, it makes your heart swell because no-one ever said things like this to you before. 

You continue to grind against him until he’s holding your hips still and bringing his knees up, settling them against your backside. He lifts you up a little off his cock, with a strength you’d never witnessed before, and then he’s fucking up into you, cock punching as deep into you as you think you can take it, his balls slapping against your ass. 

“Ohmygod, fuck Javi,” You’re squealing, putting your hands on top of his knees to keep you steady, “I think you’re… oh god… I think you’re gonna make me cum again.” 

You look down and he’s looking up at you, grinning like a devil, because he’s got you so close to the edge, cock hitting a spot within you that feels like heaven and hell mixed into one, “Go on, querida, come for me.” 

His husky voice is what does it. You’re clenching down on him as you call out his name. His hands on your hips keeping you upright as dark spots cloud your vision, “God, what I wouldn’t give to hear that every second of the day.” He groans as he flips you onto your back in one smooth move. 

He’s still buried deep inside you, one hand brushing sweat-soaked hair from you face, the other gripping to your ass as he lifts your hips to meet him. He’s slowed but you can tell from the way his hips stutter into your own that he’s close. 

“Where do you want me?” He whispers into your ear. 

Everywhere, is what you want to say. Paint me, cover me, mark me as yours, is all you can think. What you say is, “Wherever you want.” 

You think you see his mouth open to answer you, but it’s too late. He’s pulling out of you, fisting his cock two, three times, and then he’s painting your skin with his spend. Thick ropes of cum cover your tummy as he's growling into your ear, collapsing next to you when he’s given you everything he’s got. 

When you lie there next to him, his cum drying on your abdomen, his mouth still kissing at the skin of your neck, you think you should feel guilty. Guilty that you broke your vows, guilty that you’ve let a man other than your husband touch you. Guilty that you did so without a second thought. Guilty that he didn't once cross your mind. There isn’t an ounce of guilt within you. You lean into his kisses and thank the Lord for bringing him back, for bringing him back to you, because you know this right here? This is happiness. 

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[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 13 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 14

Summary : Loki wants to take you to the tower with him, you have a strange dream about you two.

Warning: 18+, mention of sex, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour, cute aggression, also Melissa again

“Come stay with me at the tower while you’re healing”

"Wait what?" You propped yourself on your elbow as he put forward his proposition so he placed his hands on your shoulder.

"Alright, first of all, lie back down my darling you need rest" he laid you down, tucked you under the cover and kissed your forehead, the small adorable smile on his face was your undoing, you didn't know why but the gesture made you want to squeeze him to death. So you did. You cupped his cheeks and kissed him as furiously as you could, an aggressive growl escaped your throat and once you pulled away you found him staring at you.

"What just happened?" He chuckled

"I had the urge to smother you because you're so cute, it's called cute aggression, it's an actual thing, get used to it because I'm going to do it alot because you're so cute it hurts my brain and gets me all mad that I can't just squeeze you until you're all pulpy" his mouth gaped in shock for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you "You'll forget what I just said right?I'm on heavy drugs"

"I will try, it's just hard to do so after learning that you have violent fantasies about killing me because I'm so cute" he air quoted the word cute and it made you smile.

"Not killing, it's just me wanting to squish you until you're all flat and pulpy, I want you all squished together, I also want to bite you..like this part right here" you trailed your fingers over his developed deltoids "Ohhhhh goooodd" there it was, the animalistic growl again and it made him laugh.

"Do it then"

"I'm not going to bite you..it will hurt lo"

"Hurt me? I am god you dainty little creature, you can't hurt me, go on, you know you want to"

He leaned down and kissed on your neck, pushing his delts right onto your lips so you grabbed the bulging muscle to bite with your teeth.

"God you're delicious" you licked a stripe to soothe the bite, there wasn't even a tooth mark there but you still wanted to soothe him. The action got him all hot and bothered though.

"Norns darling you have to do that to me whenever we are being naughty"

"Yeah you liked that?" you giggled and he kissed you lovingly, maybe he was getting the case of cute aggression too, unfortunately he wasn't going to act on his fantasies, not so soon atleast.

"You don't think I'm weird?" You asked him as you caressed his cheek,

"So what if you are"

"Yeah that's not a deal breaker?" Your fingers caressed his cheeks so he smiled

"No, that is a deal clincher for me"

"Awnnn baby" your arms curled around his neck as you kissed him softly "Oh my god I almost forgot about the proposition, did you really ask me that or I was hallucinating?"

He shifted a little to the side to prop himself on his elbow and used his hand to support his head.

"You did not hallucinate, i want you to come with me"

"Really? I mean we haven't even started it yet" you joked and it took him a second to understand it, he closed his eyes as he laughed a little "How's it going to work lo? I mean you can't just hide me in Avengers tower, they'll know and how would I even go there, what about my work?"

"I can definitely keep you hidden there, leave that worrying upto me, Thor will take you the way he does me and you can not work in this condition can you?" He answered all your questions and left you with a question to answer in return.

"I know I can't..but..lo..i ..what about my mom, she's going to flip if she finds out about this"

"Then do not tell her"

"Are you sure about this? I mean isn't it too soon for us to ..you know "

"What's wrong with two friends sharing a room? Haven't we done that already?"

"We have.. I just..i am kind of scared, I am not good with such situations, it's fine here because it's my home, i know everything here, I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want..I'm just so anxious about it" you mumbled hurriedly.

"I know..I understand sweetheart, I do" he placed his fingers between your hair to massage your scalp gently. You really wanted to go with him, afterall it was just a matter of a week and he wasn't asking you to leave earth, you can do this right?

"What will I do when you're busy?"

"Are you considering this?" He smiled

"I want to be there with you lo, i really do.. I'm just terrified"

"Well I promise you love I will take the best care of you, you trust me?"

"Ofcourse I do"'

"I'll be there for you i promise, and when I'm not, he will be there"

He waved his fingers and you gasped as you saw another Loki in front of the bed.

"Who is that?"

"It's a clone"

"A clone?"

"Now I have to be around him in order to control him but even if I'm not atleast you get a life sized replica of me with whom you can live out your aggressive fantasies" you chuckled as he said that.

"Hello darling" the clone smiled at you so you waved a hello at him.

"I don't understand…how? How would I know that he's the clone and you're not, what if you're clone and he's the real one"

"Wow i have never been asked that, I made him and I can make him go away ..like this" he waved his fingers and the clone was gone before he brought him back again.

"He can't do that..see, Loki can you send me away?" He asked his clone

"No my liege, you are the who controls me" the clone answered

"Seee"

"Okay so he's like a robot"

"In a way yes"

"Okay ummm.. I don't want him..I mean i appreciate you thinking of that for me but I don't want a clone, I only want you and I'll wait for you to come back to me, those fantasies are reserved for you" you cupped his cheeks and he smiled before he kissed you softly, he waved his fingers and his clone was gone to wherever he came from.

Next morning when you woke up, the pain was somehow worse, your ankle felt swollen, the fall had made your ankle twist horribly and you were wondering how it wasn't broken.

He laid you down on the bed after you had showered and when you winced he immediately sat down on the edge and started to take the bandage off from your swollen ankle.

"Hurts?" He asked

"Yeah, those meds are useless" your eyes teared up and you could see the look of worry on his face, he rubbed his fingers over the area to massage gently, that worked like a charm and you immediately felt ten times better. What would you have done without him?

"Oh lokii...thank you" he wrapped your ankle carefully before he crawled up and kissed you.

"You still want to go with me right?"

"Yeah ..let me just talk to my mom, I'll tell her that Mrs Geller will help me"

"Mhnmm I will go inform Mrs Geller of our evil scheme" you smiled as he kissed your forehead and left to go see Mrs Geller, you picked up your phone and sighed before you called your mom. As soon as she picked she started to yell at you.

"I had called you several times..where were you? Stephen said that he won't be able to see you, what happened?" She asked you.

"Umm did he tell you why?" You questioned her and she went quiet for a moment.

"He didn't tell me, I asked" her voice lowered down.

"Well I had an accident and my leg is sprained badly so–"

"What? How did you get into an accident?" She was yelling again.

"Just some guy on a motorbike speeding"

"Oh honey, okay I'm going to talk to David and I'll be there as soon as possible" your eyes widened as she said that.

"Mom no…look I'm fine, it's just a sprain and Mrs Geller will take care of me, you don't have to come all the way and especially since you were just here"

"My child is hurt and I want to be there, I am coming" you squeezed your eyes as she said that firmly, that would dampen your plans with Loki.

"You don't have to mum i promise, I'll come see you when I'm healed, it's been a while anyways since I have been there " she sighed deeply as you said that.

"Well, okay, was he there when the accident happened?"

"Yes he took me to the hospital ".

"Ok good, I have told you so many times to keep your eyes on the road but you never listen" your eyes teared up as you noticed the concern in her eyes

"I know mommy I'm sorry but don't worry I'm fine"

Loki came back so you smiled at him, he did notice your sullen face though so he sat down next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder in a comforting manner.

"Okay mom i have to go help Mrs Geller with a recipe..I'll talk to you later okay?"

As you hung up you finally sniffled so he placed his fingers on your chin to make you look at him.

"What happened? What did she say?" You wiped your tears before you started to speak.

"You know some kids have parents that are just too good to be true and then some kids have parents that shouldn't have procreated?" He nodded as you questioned "Well it's easier to either love or hate them fully but then there are my parents and I'm talking about my own father here, not the step dad, they're so critical and anything I do in life it's never enough for them but they love me you know, everytime I'm hurt they get hurt, they get worried sick, and it's not easy for me to just hate them even though they make me want to hate them when they're constantly demeaning me and my life choices"

He wiped your tears as they shedded incessantly from your eyes,

"You don't have to hate them sweetheart, they love you and you love them but they also want you to live a life you don't want to live, they want you to carry forward their dreams and live up to their expectations, it's burdening and it's also reasonable for you to hold a certain amount of resentment and you need have that sort of boundary so you can protect yourself, you're not doing anything wrong" your eyes welled up even more as he said that.

"Really? Because I always feel guilty that I'm not who they want me to be and I have wished so many times that they could have had the daughter that they really wanted" a broken sob escaped your lips so he cupped your cheeks and kissed you softly.

"But it's not your fault, if they can not get rid of their picture perfect image of you then it's not your responsibility to continue to appease them my little one. You are absolutely divine just the way you are, I'd never ever change anything about you, not even a single quirk because all of them together makes you who you are, this sweet little princess right here is nothing short of a goddess and if I had the power, I'd build a new realm for her, her own realm that she could rule over, I'd have worshippers willing to beg on their feet just to have a glimpse of her"

The hiccuped cries clenched his heart as you hugged him as tightly as you could. You once read that the term I love you were the sweetest words of endearment a man could use. Yeah right. Beat that.

"What did I do to find you?" He chuckled as you questioned him.

"I ask myself that very question ever since I have met you"

He wrapped his arms around you and held you until you were calm.

As Thor came, he initially flipped out when Loki told him about the secret plan but then he was convinced pretty easily.

"How are we doing this? I'll take you first and then Loki?"

"Why can't you take us both?' Loki questioned him

"I have one free arm, kindly do the mathematics"

"Well take me first then, that way I'll be there to greet her"

"Awnnnn" you and Thor both made the noise at the same time.

"Be careful with her, she's hurt as it is"

Loki warned him and Thor nodded.

Thor took Loki first and he was back in less than one minute. Damn how fast was this hammer ?

"Ummm thank you for doing this, i hope karma will pay you for this in sexual services"

You mumbled nervously, you had never been flighted by a god with a hammer, it was surprising you weren't saying something more absurd. He opened his mouth to retort but he came up with nothing, what was he even supposed to say?

"I'll have to wrap my arm around your waist for safety, Is that alright?" He asked you so you hummed in agreement.

"Do you wrap them around Loki's?"

"He won't let me, he grabs onto my shoulder but he's a god like me so i trust him to not fall down"

"Understood "

You will never be able to describe what you felt when he flew you away with him, it happened in seconds but it felt like you were falling from a cliff and having the worst nightmare of your life. As you felt the ground beneath your feet Loki's arms wrapped around you to keep you steady.

"Are you alright darling?"

"Yeahhh just …dooozzzyyy" he smiled as you said that. He quickly conjured a blanket and wrapped it around you, when you looked down you couldn't see your body, it had turned invisible.

"Holy mother of maple syrup toast ..what did you do?" He smiled before he cupped your cheeks to peck your lips.

"Cloak of invisibility, when mother gifted me this on my 80th birthday. I never understood the use of it, i was learning the invisibility charm myself but I think I know what it can be used for now " he explained excitedly but you were still in shock.

"Cloak of invisibility? Like …Harry Potter?"

He looked at you confused before he wrapped you completely in the blanket and he disappeared too, he then picked you up in his arms because you couldn't walk on your own.

"Is she visible in any way?" He asked Thor so Thor fixed the lower portion where your legs were visible still.

The cloak was transparent so you looked around as he took you inside, your eyes widened at the infrastructure, you have never been into a place like this, and that's when you realized that you were actually in New York City at the moment.

Somehow he was able to transport you to his room without bumping into anyone, he sat you down on the bed before he took the cloak away from you.

"Okay the hard part is done right?" You asked him and he smiled

Looking around his room you noticed that it was the size of your apartment, infact bigger than that, he didn't have many furnitures but his bed was thrice the size of your bed, there was a full sized couch in the middle of the room with a tv on the front, his room also had a balcony, there was an elegant looking dresser next to his closet, the intricate designs and the fine woodwork was enough of an indication that it was something from his vault because it didn't really go with the rest of the modern setup.

"I will bring us food"

"You're leaving me alone.. please don't leave me alone" you clutched onto his arms so he leaned forward to kiss you.

"I will be back in a flash i promise" he assured you.

"Okay"

As he left you got up and hopped your way to the dresser, you sat down on the dressing stool and looked at yourself in the mirror. Jesus What happened to your hair? Must be the Ride on the Mobonil.

You picked up the comb to brush your hair but then put it back down feeling as if you'd taint the pristine comb with your greasy hair, there were several bottles of cologne on his dresser and they all smelled like him.

There was also an attached drawer so you pulled on the handle to open it, there was a picture of you in there, your eyes teared up as you picked it up, it wasn't a photograph but a sketch, you didn't even know when he had made it..

You closed the drawer and stood back up, that's when the door opened making you jump in your spot a little. He closed the door and then he conjured a huge tray out of nowhere,

"You know I'm just one person right?" He chuckled as you said that

"Well I brought those Snacks as you midgardians like to call it, you can reap the benefits whenever you're ravenous"

"I'm going back even fatter aren't i?" He tilted his head as if you had said something completely outrageous.

"You're not fat darling "

"And you're not pretty" he shook his head before he walked towards you and kissed the moment of insecurity out of you.

After eating you laid down with him on the bed to snuggle him

"God this is nice"

"It definitely is, isn't it?"

"I feel drowsy"

"Must be those medicines darling, care for a sleep?"

"Yes please"

He caressed your back until you fell asleep in his arms, this is the most impulsive thing you've ever done in your life so far, you still couldn't believe that you were in New York City. If five months ago someone had played you this exact scenario in front of you, you would have laughed uncontrollably.

You always dreaded your 30th birthday then how come it was going superbly then all your years before?

You were at a party but you couldn't recognise the place, you could see the people dancing around you, they seemed a bit blurry though as if you were in a hazy dream. You were tired of dancing so you whispered something into the ears of the woman in front of you and made your way to the bar to get a drink.

You sat down next to a gentleman in a suit black, you both were in matching colours as if you came here together, he was attractive, he probably was the most attractive man you had seen in your life, his raven hair went past his shoulders and when he looked at you, those green eyes bored right into your soul. You also felt as if you had seen him before.

"Sorry i didn't mean to stare, i felt as if i had seen you somewhere" he chuckled as you said that, that mere smile gave you butterflies. What was happening to you? This wasn't like you at all. You had never felt such an attraction towards a man before,

"Perhaps you have seen me on news, I invaded your planet with an army a few years ago" your eyes widened in realization as he said that.

"Oh my god you're Loki" you said to him and he turned his head to look at you, his lips sipped on the neat whiskey he had ordered for himself.

"For a moment I was afraid my popularity has plummeted around here" you let out a nervous laughter as he said that.

"Noo i.. I read about you at the time, my ex husband actually made me see why we were supposed to hate you"

"Well I hope your feelings are not the same anymore" you gulped nervously as the intense eye contact made you feel flushed. Your cheeks felt warm.

"So what are you doing here?"

"I was summoned here for a crucial discussion"

"Ohhh" you mumbled.

"I watched you dancing over there"

"You did?"

"You have a way with your hips don't you?" Was he flirting with you? Oh god it's been years since a man this attractive had flirted with you. A man you actually wanted to flirt with you.

"Ummm well i wanted to be a dancer once"

"I can tell, makes me think of other situations where you could show me how those hips would work" you bit on your lips subconsciously at the comment and he leaned closer to you, he placed his fingers on your chin to make you look at him and brought his lips to your ears, if he was some other guy you would have pushed him away by now but for some reason you felt hypnotized by his mere presence, everything about him enchanted you, you felt as if you were under his influence, his cologne attacked your senses and all you wanted to do was kiss him.

You had never felt such scorching heat with someone in your life, you never thought you'd ever get to feel it either, you didn't think it existed for you.

"Care for a dance?" He whispered in your ears and you could only whine in response which he took as a yes. His fingers laced with yours as he dragged you to a secluded corner of the hall.

Baby, you can

Ride it, ooh, yeah

Bring it over to my place

You moved slowly with him to the rhythm of the music, he placed his hands on your lower back and the action made you gasp, dipping you down slowly before he pulled you up smushing you so close to him in a moment, your chest were pressed to him, you were too close to man you barely knew.

And you be like

"Baby, who cares?"

But I know you care

Bring it over to my place

Your hips rolled in circles and hands curled around his neck, what was this feeling? Your lips were so close to him but he wasn't kissing you, even though you wanted him to just kiss you desperately.

You don't know what you did, did to me

Your body lightweight speaks to me

I don't know what you did, did to me

Your body lightweight speaks to me

"Goddd" You whispered and a small smile curved the corner of his mouth.

"There you are i have been looking for you"

You heard the voice so you pulled away from the man you had met a few minutes ago. Even after the divorce was finalized you still felt as if you owed him your loyalty,

"What happened?" You looked at him and he snickered in response.

"I was talking to him, I called him here to discuss something important"

You directed your attention towards Loki and he smiled at you before he looked you up and down from head to toe then he leaned into you to press a goodbye kiss on your cheek,

"See me again sometime later?"

You nodded as he said that, he walked towards your ex husband and went along with him leaving you to ponder over the question.

Now What did Stephen want from Loki?

You woke up feeling out of breath, you put your head up from top of his head to breathe properly, he was still sleeping holding you like a baby.

What the hell was that dream about? You couldn't even imagine marrying someone, let alone marrying that arrogant weiner Stephen Strange and why were you talking to Loki as if you two had never met?

Well it was probably just a stupid dream, you have had such vivid dreams before, maybe it was the result of your constant daydreaming combined with the pain medication you were taking.

Loki woke up a few moments later and pulled away from you a little, so he could look at you properly.

"What time is it?" You asked him and he chuckled before he looked at the clock he had on his bedside drawer.

"It's 6 in the evening, I missed the training session so I am afraid i have to go do that now" he kissed you softly before he pulled away.

"Mmmm I'll miss you"

"So will I, I shall return in two hours and I want you to keep this in case you'd need it" he conjured the cloak of invisibility and handed it to you.

He kissed you goodbye and you barely lasted three minutes before the boredom kicked in. The meds had kicked in and you didn't feel pain, so you wanted to go see the tower and everything else. You got off the bed, wrapped the cloak around you and looked at yourself in the mirror to make sure you were completely covered. You sneaked outside and Loki had told you that the training room was on the 30th floor so you sneakily pressed your finger on the elevator button.

"Let's go watch those boys fight"

You heard a voice and your heartbeat sped up, you looked to the side and you saw the person you despised the most, it was Melissa, damn she looked even more gorgeous in person, luckily for you her personality stank. There was black widow by her side, as well as Pepper Potts, the CEO of Stark industries. There was one other woman as well that you didn't recognise.

"Wait up for me" you heard Thor's voice, and it made you more nervous, you just hoped none of them would bump into you in the elevator.

As soon as the door opened you got in and pressed yourself into the corner,

"I see you people met Lady Jane already"

He chuckled nervously and they all hummed. Ahhh that was Jane, his mortal girlfriend.

As the 30th floor arrived you followed them from behind, an access passcode was required to enter the training room so you were glad these people followed you.

You spotted Loki stretching his arms, he was in a gray shirt and a fitted workout pants, why did he have to look so sexy?

"Had no idea we were having an audience today" he mumbled in frustration, just the sight of Melissa made him fume with anger. You also saw Hulk, Hawkeye and Iron man there.

"You know what Loki, why don't we fight one on one today? No magic, no gimmicks, just me and you as who we are"

Brave words coming from someone whose powers were injected in him you thought.

"As who we are? Captain, I do not reckon you can handle me as who i am"

"Bring it on Loki, let's see what you got"

"Can you guys just fight?" Hulk intervened and you were so thankful for that.

Loki took off his shirt in one quick motion, you were so glad he was yours and you were definitely going to lick those tiny chest hairs later, your thoughts were utterly filthy. Why did he make you so horny? You saw Melisaa biting her lips and squeezing her legs at the sight of your sexy half naked boyfriend cum best friend. She really needed to watch herself.

You snapped back to reality though when you heard the sound of collective gasps emerging from the people around you.

When he talked about the real him, he meant it. You saw him transforming into someone else, he was taller, he was bigger and he was all blue. You noticed the rough ridges that covered him from head to toe, the pants he had on tightened around his body, so close to ripping if you were being honest. The stark difference you noticed was his head, he no longer had his raven hair, he was bald but his head wasn't smooth like a human being, his skull was protruded with even thicker ridges. He didn't even look like himself from a distance. He was in his Frost giant form.

"Ewwww what is that..that's disgusting..I need to leave…I'm sooo scared" Melissa got hyper and all you wanted to do was rip her tongue out of her mouth. How dare she? He looked at her and that's when you noticed his Ruby colored eyes, you also noticed the tears in them, your eyes moistened too as you looked at his sad little face, that was your lo, your soft little lo and he didn't deserve for anyone to be so cruel with him.

"What is this?" Captain asked him and Loki averted his gaze to look at him before he snickered, his jaw were clenched in anger.

"You wanted me to be who I am. No magic, no gimmicks right? Here I am, so fight me now"

You knew this wasn't going to end well for Captain Rogers.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

@annoyingsweetsstranger  @mcufan72

@nixymarvelkins  @stupidthoughtsinwriting  @fictive-sl0th  @huntress-artemiss  @eleniblue  @violethaze  @anukulee  @ladymischief11  @12-pm-510  @wolfsmom1  @whylokiissocute  @hyperlokilover @vickie5446 @pics-and-fanfics  @daddylokisqueen  @tallseaweed @olivertwistrabbit  @blog-the-lilly  @prettylittlepluviophile  @vanilla-daydreaming  @somewiseguy  @yaaamadaa-blog  @dragonmurray  @nyxxharmonia @elthreetimes  @gruftiela  @thenotoriouserg  @optimisticyouthdefender @mcuhplover @greep215  @yallgotkik

@obscureenigmatic  @janineb86  @sflame15-blog  @nyxlaufeyson  @lokidokieokie  @purplekitten30 @sunnixart

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #post avengers loki #loki x reader smut #canon divergent au #soft loki

[fereldanwench]

So I was perusing Reddit and came across this older post about the supposed leaked DLC endgame content from 2022. I had seen some of said leaked content at the time, and I knew there were mentions of Goro and Tokyo and potentially having to sell out Vik, but I took all of it with a grain of salt because these things are often unreliable. (And a good thing I did seeing as how the Phantom Liberty ending is completely different, and this would have been a huge disappointment if my heart had been set on it.)

But y'all, if this was actually on the table for a potential ending for the DLC, I feel SO ROBBED.

Quoted from the Reddit post:

So it turns out that this new ending isn't an actual new ending, but instead just a new path for The Devil ending. Basically, what happens is that if you complete Songbird's questline and gain her trust, she will give you a cure for the relic. After you agree to help Hanako, confront Yorinobu, head up to Arasaka's orbital facility, and remove the biochip from your head, Songbird's cure will begin to activate, and it will begin healing V's brain and nervous system. What happens next is determined by whether or not you saved Takemura's life during the Search and Destroy quest. You will secretly be given a test by Hanako to prove your loyalty and professionalism. What that test is is determined by what happened in the aforementioned quest. If you do save Takemura's life, Takemura will come to tell you about the surgery's success. He will then ask you to do one more job for Araska. This test is to find where Vik is and mark his location for Arasaka, as Vik is a loose end because of his knowledge of the biochip. If you complete this mission, Hanako will then appear and try to reassure that nothing bad will happen to Vik as long as he doesn't cause problems for Arasaka. If you did everything correctly, she will then offer you a job as the head of her security detail. If you accept this offer, you will move with her to Tokyo and once again become an Arasaka employee. If you don't, then you'll just stay in Night City and Takemura will be disappointed in you. You can also say some very mean things to Takemura during this exchange. No matter which of these options you choose, all of V's friends will end up hating her for working with Arasaka. There's also some interesting dialogue if V decides to work with Hanako. V will mention how she doesn't want to return to her old life and how, for the first time in her entire life, V feels like she knows where she's going and what she wants. Hanako will reply to V by stating that a luxurious lifestyle that V could never have previously imagined awaits her in Tokyo. If you did not save Takemura's life, Hellman will come to tell you that the surgery was a success, but will then try to convince you that Hanako is actually planning to kill both of you as you and Hellman are now loose ends. He will tell you that his previous deal with Kang Tao is still on the table, and that he has a shuttle prepared that can take you and him to Kang Tao. He will try and urge you to join Kang Tao with him. If you refuse to go with him to Kang Tao, Hanako will appear and reveal that this entire conversation was actually a test to see if you would betray Arasaka. Hellman further explains that due to V's actions, Hellman couldn't even join Kang Tao anymore if he wanted to and that he's essentially stuck working for Arasaka. Hanako will compliment your professionalism and will then offer you a job as the head of her security, just like in the Takemura ending.

Still hard to say if this was ever actually a possibility, but either way: given that this was stuff found in spring 2022 and at one point Cyberpunk was supposed to have 2 expansions, I'm guessing this content had been long cut/reworked by the time it was leaked.

This honestly would have been the perfect canon ending for Valerie, from the angst of having to sell out a friend to finally being able to fully own her corporate shill proclivities, and as happy and content as I am to fully live in my own headcanons at this point, I would have loved to see this one in action.

#goro takemura #c: goro takemura #oc: valerie v powell #ship: goro x valerie #g: cyberpunk 2077

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please read the tags and warnings before reading.

BNHA

you could have knocked me out with a feather by sahwen

"Your X-rays don’t indicate any fissures or other breaking in the skull,” his handler said as she looked over his file. She always spoke like that, as did his other handlers; the skull. Not his. Because it wasn’t his, when you got right down to it. He was a public figure. He was property. He was real estate.

And he knew what she meant when she said your x-rays don’t indicate any fissures. It meant, you’ve wasted our time. It made him sweat.

Or: Hawks gets bonked. The HPSC is not a hospital.

Stranger Things

Adopt a Jock by @sp0o0kylights

Hellfire adopts Steve during his final year of high school. Pre-Steddie. (Ongoing tumblr fic)

DC (Batfamily)

This Dark Ceiling Without a Star by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday

"For fuck’s sake, your chatter is going to drive me crazy faster than this stupid spell.”

“Then you talk!”

“There’s no point!” Jason snaps. “I can feel it, okay. It’s—there’s no emotion behind it, it’s not using my thoughts. It’s just a bunch of weird Greek echoing in my brain and a compulsion to act. And it’s getting stronger. Talking isn’t going to slow it down.”

“Then what will slow it down?”

After five long seconds of silence, Tim gives into the urge and viciously jabs his fist into Jason’s leg for the second time.

“Goddammit, why?” Jason snaps, green briefly sparking in his eyes before disappearing just as quickly.

“You are not seriously going to just sit there and wait to die.”

“The hell do you care anyway?”

“Because I don’t want you to die! Obviously!”

“You fucking should."

Marvel

status quo by jilliancares

"So, you’re investigating this not-so-bad-bad-guy, and you’re coming out of his apartment at—" Wade tilts his head to the side, just enough to check his watch “—almost exactly the time you usually start your patrol.”

Peter chews on the inside of his cheek. “Yep,” he decides on.

“And — just to be clear — I definitely shouldn’t unalive this guy instead of the douchebag across the street.”

“Definitely not,” Peter agrees. “No one would like that.”

Wade bangs his head against the fire escape again. “Okay, Webs. This one’s just to gauge if you’re smarter than a fifth grader: how much of that do you think I actually believe?"

Or: Somehow, the components of Peter’s secret identity keep crumbling all around him.

Also: He’s running out of excuses not to tell Wade that he’s in love with him.

9-1-1

Don't You (Forget About Me) by Princessfbi

"Bill, can you tell me your location? I want to send some people to make sure you’re okay. You don’t sound okay.”

“I’m not. But he’s worse off than I am. Shouldn’t you want to help him instead? Wouldn’t you want to know where he is?”

“Who is he?”

“That firefighter I buried underground.”

The long awaited buried alive fic

ATLA

All the Little Things by CSHfic, VSfic

Sokka receives an offer of an arranged marriage from the Northern Water Tribe. On the one hand, accepting would strengthen ties between their tribes. On the other hand, Chief Arnook has suggested Hahn as a potential match, and Hahn sucks. But with the future of the Southern Water Tribe Reconstruction project relying heavily on the good will of the North, Sokka doesn’t know how to say no.

(Katara doesn’t have to deal with this. Katara is dating the Avatar.)

Zuko has a solution. Sokka just wishes he’d realized he was in love with the Fire Lord before he agreed to pretend to date him.

Classroom Lessons by Thisisentertaining

Sokka never would have thought he'd be pretending to be a Fire Nation Colonial Citizen, going to a parent conference about his fake!son who was an airbender, but here he was.

At least life wasn't boring.

Sokka turned on Aang, fake mustache and beard bristling. "Young man, as soon as we get home, you're gonna get the punishment of a lifetime."

The headmaster smirked, smugly, evil-y, Fire Nation-y. "That's what I like to hear. Really Zuko him."

the snakes, and the people that they bite by Serie11

Rai is just a normal guy, really. One of the many guards that patrol the Fire Lord's palace.

Why did it have to be him who got caught up in this assassination attempt?

Finishing Each Other's Sentences by mindbending

fire lilies are red your melancholy mood’s blue still I prefer you 

After the war, Sokka starts writing poetry.

She broke your throne by Serie11

Zuko is kidnapped from his afternoon of paperwork by a well intentioned friend. There just so happens to be a festival on in town for them to attend instead of working...

#happy monday everyone! #we've got a big boy round up this week #my posts #fic recs #weekly fic round up #bnha recs #marvel recs #dc recs #stranger things recs #atla recs #911 recs #misc recs

[neonghostcat]

Brain Overflow

You know how in my last 'state of the author' post I said I could feel the urge to write coming back?

Oh, it has.

It's terribly inconvenient too. I'm going to tell you a little about some of the things I've been thinking of and then whine/wibble a tiny bit if you click through to behind the cut. (You don't have to read the last bit!)

I've written down three different SVSSS (LiuShen) ideas in the last couple of weeks, added a few thoughts to older ideas, made a mental note of possible Cultivate extras, and just refused to write down others so as not to encourage rampant plot bunny breeding.

But let me tell you about a few of them because I'm hoping it reduces the urge to work on them better than just typing up notes.

The Lady Blackbird fusion Not sure what Lady Blackbird is? Well, it's a free tabletop rpg that you can download here. But the TL;DR is, "Sort of like steampunk Star Wars: A New Hope + Firefly + potential Jane Austen novel, if you want." I'll just C&P the pitch here: Lady Blackbird is an Imperial noble fleeing from an arranged marriage to be with her secret lover, the pirate king Uriah Flint. To reunite with him, she has hired a notorious smuggler and the crew of his skyship, The Owl. However, The Owl has been captured by an Imperial cruiser. How will Lady Blackbird and the others escape? What dangers lie in their path on the way to the pirate king’s lair? Can you see where this is going? (Actually, probably not your first thought, no.) We start with Shen Yuan transmigrated in a xianxia-by-way-of-steampunk gown, sitting in a jail cell with several men, a teenage boy, and a veiled teenage girl. System helpfully informs him that he is now "Lady" Blackbird, on the run to end up in the arms of Pirate King Mobei-Jun. His cell-mates are, as follows: Smuggler Captain Liu Qingge, Lady Blackbird's personal bodyguard Liu Mingyan who suggested her brother when LB said she wanted to escape, the ship's mechanic Shang Qinghua, the ship's doctor Mu Qingfang (or they pick him up later, I haven't decided), and "a goblin named BingBing". While SY is busy freaking out that System can't fool him - that's the Protagonist, Luo Binghe!!! wtf!!! System says "later, loser" and more-or-less abandons him (though still employing an OOC ban). So now you can probably see where this is going, lol. It involves at least a brief period where SY has to crossdress and pretend to be one of Binghe's future wives - a fiancée/wife of Mobei-Jun as Liu Qingge gets very conflicted feelings about his troublesome passenger. Featuring lots of Cumplane friendship, sassy MQF (as a treat), teenage smirking (likely aided and abetted by the adults), and space whales (naturally). I have not yet fully decided if the story Shen Yuan read was PIDW and now he has to figure out how the infiltration of "space with gears on it" into his xianxia has fucked up what he and Airplane know, or if the story was something like "Proud Immortal Starlit Way" and it was always like that. (Thoughts?) ---

The "SY Bodysnatches MQF" idea What it says on the tin... SY accidentally ends up in MQF's body instead of SQQ's. Only MQF isn't gone - he remains. This occurs directly before the Demonic Invasion and double qi deviation part of the plot and they rush back to the sect to deal with that. Then things get messy while they conspire to get SY his own body. Featuring: An extremely confused Liu Qingge, eventual Shenbros, and aro-ace MQF being very bemused at all times. ---

The "LQG Gets De-Aged/Age-Regressed" idea As you can guess: LQG gets age-regressed. This happens in Lingxi Caves instead of his death-by-deviation. He latches onto SY-SQQ and SY-SQQ is helpless to do anything but take the cute kid in. Featuring: BingLiu friendship, possibly Bing-other disciples friendship, but mostly establishing bro-code that makes Binghe switch his infatuation with SY-SQQ into family feelings as soon as LQG regains his adult body and it becomes clear that LiuShen is happening. ----

This is along with: Joint Custody (LiuShen), my SJ-SQQ second-chance redemption fic (LiuShen and LiuJiu, but different LQGs), a peak lords ascension fic using Cultivate's backstory (LiuJiu), a LiuShen timeloop fic, and at least another half a dozen fic ideas sitting in the hopper that aren't nearly as developed/that I am not burning to write yet.

I'd love to know which ideas you guys are most interested in. ;) Joint Custody is still next regardless and I'll probably not be working on either of the LiuJiu fics in the near future because they are definitely 100k+ territory and I'm still not ready for that. But knowing people are hype for something keeps me hype. ;3

I'll probably be in this fandom awhile, y'all. Please send help.

Sadly, I can't work on any of them yet, because I have over 2,600 messages in my inbox waiting for me to respond to. (This is not a humble brag - this is thousand-yard-stare territory. It was somewhere over 3000 for awhile until I started making a list of people who generally only left emojis or thanks and let them know that I was going to just thank them for all of them in one email so they didn't peppered by replies in kind.)

Not that I'm complaining about them, because I missed replying to comments so much (it's genuinely one of my favorite parts about writing fanfic), but it's still a lot and even if I could manage 100 replies a day (which for mental health reasons, I really can't), it's going to take awhile.

RIP.

More importantly - I hope you are well! 🌼

#fic planning

[wildymoon]

urge to have character choose death (consciously or not) due to a heavy breakdown (yours or not) because I'm an angsty shit

vs

not wanting to lose like 20-25 levels worth of progress this loop (I am So Close to max level I can practically taste it aaaaaaa)

FIGHT!

(isat spoilers, found it in act 2 but that's because I'm vigilant about things sometimes)

for context I caught bonnie eavesdropping and stared at the pineapple option afterwards for about 5 seconds before coming to my senses

If I wasn't going for the OP achievement early so I didn't have to do it later I 100% would've though

...

in other news I have a new idea as to how the loops start to mesh together somewhat for ACOH, and it very much directly involves this

I feel very bad for Bonnie though cause depending on how much of this idea I use they will feel Very Guilty for two of Siffrin's deaths and not just the tear one...

anyway, actually explaining my idea here!

So, we've seen how the deaths make everyone loop back, it's still gonna play out almost exactly the same with that. And the effort of the timeline to keep your equipment with you while also not breaking people's minds is still there, that's just the timeline fixing itself.

But what about the points like with Bonnie, where you go back a bit to prevent that?

What if it wasn't solely caused by [??????? ??????], but also something fucky with the others' memories?

After all, I don't think Bonnie-who-remembers-accidentally-pushing-Siffrin-into-a-tear would accept saying some of the things they did in this situation (source: similar breakdown at similar age, albeit over something very stupid and with a very different reaction, would not have said some of the things I did if I knew the world wasn't ending)

and then Siffrin takes the pineapple and fucking perishes. Not Sure whether it'll be it slipping their mind entirely (previously they were hyperaware that "pineapple? kills me maybe??"), brain fog mixed with guilt over the situation (and the fact that it won't just magically get that much better despite the rewind), or just straight up "I made them irrevocably upset this time, let's start this over entirely"

I am very much unintentionally traumatizing the fuck out of Bonnie here. Why is there so much opportunity to do this. Is it going to get worse. Bonnie can't look Siffrin in the eyes their next loop until they all nearly go through the hallway without dealing with the boulder first.

I was fully intending for Isabeau and Siffrin to be the first whose loops cross but this is an Opportunity if you can't tell.

Depending on how I play with this idea either Bonnie will talk with someone (likely Odile) about the loops (!!!!) or I'll keep with Isa and Sif being the first to talk together about it

#wildyspeaks #wildy deranged at ungodly hours of the night #in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #a change of hands au #send help I'm trying to get the OP achievement in loop 8 LMAO #but yeah poor bonnie holy crabbing crab #this is why you don't let the angst demon near anything that remotely reminds her of herself #isat liveblogging

[borderlinereminders]

I want to talk about the STOP skill in DBT. This falls under the tolerance skills. The point of tolerance skills (like this one) is to help you ride out the crisis.

STOP is a good one to start with when you're new to looking at DBT skills because it is short and has a word that can be easy to remember and apply.

I'll use an example of someone feeling frustrated at their partner because of a miscommunication.

Stop: Stop what you're doing. You might be feeling a lot of emotions right now. Don't react.

Example: You might notice that the conversation is getting a bit heated. In this case, I may try and visualize a big, red stop sign. (For my partner and I, we actually say "pause" when we start arguing as it signals both of us to stop and take a step back. It's like a safe word for arguments in our case. It grounds us and reminds us to not continue when we feel frustrated. Talking about how to handle conflict before one arises can be really helpful in relationships.)

Take a step back: If you're in a situation, it helps to mentally take a step back. Some people accomplish this or otherwise get in the headspace for this by physically taking a step back. This can help you to focus on what you should be doing, which is pulling yourself away from the situation a bit to help deal with the intense urges you may have to react.

Example: In this case, my partner or I take a step back which reminds the other one to do so. After doing so, we focus on our breathing. I use whatever breathing exercise comes to mind, usually it's the one where you breathe in and count to three, hold for the count of three, and exhale to the count of three and then wait for three seconds and start over again. (Mostly because 3-3-3-3 is easy for me to remember, but you should use what works for you.)

Observe: When we're in crisis, it can be really easy to get tunnel vision and only be focused on one thing. The "observe" part of the STOP skill is meant to remind you to look at the whole situation. Focus on what other people are doing around you if there are people around you. Focus on what you're thinking. The goal of this is to "zoom out" and see the bigger picture and not just a small piece.

Example: Let's pretend that my partner and I argued because he forgot to get something he was supposed to grab, but maybe he didn't clearly understand I wanted him to grab it. And we both feel frustrated.

Observing what I'm thinking/feeling allows me to realize why I'm feeling frustrated. Why did I react so strongly to him forgetting or not understanding? It's possible I might be feeling frustrated because my brain interpreted that to mean he doesn't care and that clearly I'm not a priority. Why did he get defensive instead of reassuring me? It's possible he may have reacted because he felt guilty about not understanding but also if I approach things in "attack" mode, it makes sense he'd feel defensive. In this case, maybe I didn't give him a chance to apologize and made him feel he had to defend himself.

Proceed Mindfully: In this case, we would use a mindfulness skill to continue on. For this situation, I'd probably use my Wise Mind skill. (My example for this is also about a miscommunication in a relationship, so it ties into this.)

For a case where you use STOP to try and resist things like bad habits or behaviours you want to stop, maybe it leads to you using the Urge Surfing skill.

It's important to remember that STOP isn't really meant to make you feel better. It's meant to help you not do something you might regret later or otherwise make the situation worse. It's meant to get you to a place where you can use a skill that will help. In other words, don't think it's not working if you don't feel better once it's done. If you got through without making the situation worse, then it's likely you used the skill right.

It's okay to struggle in a crisis. It's okay to have strong feelings about it. But sometimes when we act on those emotions, it can lead to the situation blowing up bigger than it is, or causing issues down the road. When those emotions start to over power you, try to remember one word - "stop".

#STOP #DBT skills #it's been awhile since i wrote a skill post #so here you go!

[andrew-nobody]

One Week Before I Turned

[ Zombie Apocalypse AU - Chapter 1 ]

"It's not a big deal, okay?" Ashley turned away from Julia, her face a cool mask of indifference. I knew her well enough to know that it was a deliberate choice to get under Julia's skin. "Just get over it."

"Not a big deal?!" Julia's voice swelled up like a wave about to crash. "You know I've been saving them! Olivia bought me that bag for my b-birthday, and I've been rationing--"

"Are you really going to cry over some gummy bears?" Ashley smirked. "That's just fucking stupid."

"It's not stupid!" Julia shrieked. "I can't believe you. I don't call your stuffed bunnies stupid. Even though they take up space we could be using for actually useful shit!"

Ashley's expression pinched. "Sounds like you are to me."

“Guys,” I hissed for their attention.

"You're an asshole." Julia's shoulders shook. "Fuck off, Ashley. If Andrew shot himself, I wouldn’t eat the food he gave you while your back was turned!”

“Sure you would, you just wouldn’t own up to it. But I don’t give a flying fuck what you think abo—!”

“Shut up!” I raised my voice. The girls barely allowed the interruption. Their glares were still so loud they were giving me a headache. “Every zombie on the block can hear you!”

“I think you mean ‘us.’” Ashley tilted her head to the side and smiled at me.

I hated whenever they fought like this, and it seemed like they took every opportunity. If it wasn’t Ashley sneaking Julia’s candy, it was Julia kissing me in front of her, just to make her uncomfortable.

“It’s not fair,” Julia had once whimpered into my ear. “We never get any alone time together. I don’t do it to make her mad. I just want… to be close to you.”

The problem with ‘alone time’ was that Ashley seemed to have no sense of self-preservation at all. If she was out of sight, she was getting into trouble. And right now, trouble was trying to claw its way inside the burger joint we were supposed to be looting.

“Time for a quick getaway,” I prompted.

“But I wanted to see if there were any chips in the back.”

“Too fucking late for that now,” I snapped.

Ashley sighed. We both knew we wouldn't find much here. The place had already been picked clean, probably weeks ago. I should have known better. After the outbreak, anywhere that had even the remotest chance of having ToxiSoda in stock was ransacked quickly. I wasn't sure I trusted their snake oil soda ads, but a lot of people were willing to try any 'preventative cure' for the plague.

The sound of broken glass drew my attention back to the window. A zombie had gotten its shoulder stuck on the jagged edges. It was trying to squirm its way inside, tearing itself open all the while.

I couldn’t help but stare as it ripped its skin open like a chocolate wrapper. It really didn’t care.

Julia grabbed me by the hand.

“Come on!” she urged, and tugged me towards the exit. “We can go through the back.” I pulled my attention away, back to us, the people who mattered. Julia was careful. She always checked for escape routes before getting comfortable anywhere. I loved that about her.

Ashley, though...

I watched her pull her fire poker from the straps across her back. She stepped up, and then slammed it against the zombie's skull. The poker cracked against the zombie's head with a loud thunk. But it wasn’t quite enough to brain the thing.

“Ashley, let’s go!” I barked. “Don’t waste your time and risk getting bitten!”

“You were the one staring,” she retorted in a low voice.

Julia moved to the back exit. She opened the door, but wasn't going outside without the rest of us. I could see her peering anxiously around the doorway, trying to see if any zombies were coming from that direction.

Ashley’s attempt on the window zombie had drawn the attention of more. We needed to be swift, and silent. I made sure she was following me, and we joined Julia.

"There's a few out here, but they're wandering the street," she whispered, glancing through the opening of the door. "If we're quiet, maybe they won't notice."

I nodded. I didn't feel like wasting time with words, especially now that the zombies that had heard the commotion were climbing inside through the glass. Julia opened the door further, and we rushed outside, keeping our eyes peeled and weapons ready.

A small herd of zombies had congregated around the front of the burger joint, groaning and pressing at the door. Julia's hand gripped the sleeve of my shirt tightly, and I could tell she was terrified.

We moved quietly along the outside of the building, keeping to the shadows. Safe, this time.

[ Read Chapter 2 ]

#tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #toxicule #tcoaal fanfic #zombie au #andrew writes

[arvensimp]

That 2+1 fix is so cute omggg. I love when writer let the character speak. Something about arven being shy is just 😘😘😘😘 to my heart. Can I request a fanfic of arven being horny?

Thank you!!! I do love me a shy boy 💖💖💖 I hope you like this one! I feel like he comes off as less shy and more urgent/a hopeless mess here? But hopefully the shame is still there because at the end of the day what is shyness without fear and shame lmfao

-

Midnight Messquerade

Arven x Reader

Nsfw, no gendered pronouns used

Part 2, Part 3

-

His urges always seemed to come at the most inconvenient times.

He gets it. He's a young man in his prime. He has a really attractive traveling companion that he may or may not have major feelings for that his brain isn't quite ready to deal with in the aftermath of... Yeah. He's not ready to think about that.

He does however want to think about sweet, sweet relief.

It's been happening more and more lately where he's waking up just, stupid hard. When this would happen as a teenager it wasn't as big a deal. He could just tug it and be done and happily back to sleep within a few minutes, but now...

Well, now? He has you here, and that hardly seems appropriate. You're sleeping not even five feet from him, tucked into your sleeping bag all warm, and soft...and sweet...and hot...and he can't let his thoughts go further than that. It's not right to you.

Fuck. He actually whines a little out loud without meaning to then quickly claps a hand over his mouth.

He prays that didn't wake you up. Are you a light sleeper? He hopes not...

He stays deathly silent, listening for the soft, even sounds of your breathing before sighing in relief.

Okay. You're not awake.

Now for the more pressing problem.

Literally pressing.

He considers grinding softly against the inside of the sleeping bag... Maybe? He gives it a test and is quickly stilled when the vinyl of the fabric makes too-loud scraping sounds. Absolutely not.

He bites back another whine. How bad would it be if he just jerked off inside the sleeping bag. Really? If he looked away from you? He could just face away from you, then it wouldn't be like a real betrayal, right?

Arven huddles tighter in on himself, feeling like an absolute creep. He doesn't want to do that to you.

But then....maybe...what if you did catch him jacking off? Seeing him so horrendously, beautifully vulnerable? His hips quake a bit, involuntarily, and he bites back a choked sound before it fully escapes his throat.

No!

Fuck, Arven! He chides himself internally. Don't be a damned pariah. This is your best buddy you're thinking of. Your buddy who's been so good to you and seen you through so much! Who's helped you grow!

And now look at how much you've grown--STOP!

Arven tosses and turns, his legs cricketing within the sleeping bag, and oh that does kinda do something unintentional because then he full on groans without entirely meaning to into the open night air.

"A-Arven?!"

He chokes on an inhale, his eyes flying open. He really didn't mean to be that loud. Or sound that pathetic.

But here you are, hovering over him with a concerned look on your tired face.

And he couldn't be more disgustingly turned on.

He goes as pink as a tinkaton.

"Are you okay? You sounded like you were having a nightmare?"

You touch where his arm is in the sleeping bag, and it's like firecrackers. Arven jolts and moves away from you.

"Y-yeah! Totally, totally, totally, totally. Totally fine. Definitely. Yup. Just a nightmare. Sorry I bothered you. R-really. It's... Haha," His laugh sounds almost pained. "It's not a big deal. Promise. Just...just a nightmare..." He says the last part through clenched teeth.

You look a little sad. "...Arven....you've been having a lot of nightmares lately." Yeah. Nightmares. "Do you maybe wanna....I dunno, talk to someone?"

"Me? Nah, no. Don't....don't worry about it..." He swallows. The shame should absolutely not be making him harder. "I'm fine. Just...just gotta get back to sleep, ya know? Honk-shoo, honk-shoo and all that, haha..." Arven lays back down and curls in on himself in an attempt to end the conversation there.

He kinda wishes he could just. Melt away. Honk-shoo honk-shoo?! Why is he the way he is?!

Then you're absolutely not helping when you press yourself up against him in a hug through your sleeping bags.

"It's okay, Arven..." You say, genuinely trying to be soothing.

"N-Nope!" Arven says, darting out of his sleeping bag, while you yelp as you're launched back a bit in his haste to get away.

"S-sorry!" He calls to you, as he hurries off further into the woods. "I'll be right back. P-promise!"

Fuck, he's really gonna have to make this up to you. After he's done painting some poor tree trunk white.

God, he's a fucking degenerate.

#arven fanfic #arven x reader

[beanghostprincess]

What are your thoughts on lusopp? (Luffy x Usopp)

i just woke up so if my words are all over the place that's probably why! being productive right here! waking up early! somebody shoot me! fighting the urge to go back to sleep so i can reply to your silly lil awesome questions! i need a coffee.

AND!!! I REALLY LIKE THE SHIP!!! (just saw you're on impel down so i won't spoil anything!)

i mean, it's not my favorite ship and i'm not crazy about it like, idk, my fiancé is crazy about them (but again, she's crazy about zosan and lawlu and i'm not so we have to deal with each other's bullshit all the time). but i find their relationship really, really interesting and complex and cool to explore. i was just writing a fic about them being besties and super clingy, gonna cry. baby boys.

i personally see them more as just best friends, but hey! if there are cute fanarts and content i'm not going to scroll away!! it's a good and cute ship!!! they're bffs almost instantly and usopp's intelligence really disappears when he's with luffy which is, not only hilarious but extremely refreshing to see. let the anxious boy be dumb and reckless!! they're so chaotic!!

not to mention that it's not only their dynamic that makes them good, but the whole water 7/enies lobby thing. i fear that if i talk about this much i might start sobbing. but, like,,, their fight is the first time we see luffy actively cry on screen. we see luffy losing control of his crew, something he used to have control over. we see luffy lost and act impulsively and not knowing what to do because his best friend and sniper is about to go away and his heart fucking breaks into a million little pieces. because luffy sees usopp's potential and he wants him with the crew, but he can't do anything to help if usopp doesn't believe in himself. and also, the merry, which is another thing luffy loses control over and has to act like a logical captain about it but we all know it's heartbreaking for him too. and then there's usopp, who feels inferior and not worthy of being part of this amazing crew. even though he has shown over and over again to be part of this little family. he just feels like he doesn't belong here. and, you know, he says he's angry because of the merry but we all know the fight isn't about that.

so, we all agree that water 7 is very very peak lusopp (and sanuso, but tbf it's just peak usopp in general because he has great scenes with everyone. especially the monster trio, shout out to my boy zoro), and then enies lobby is when they make up and it's beautiful and heartbreaking and the way usopp yells at luffy to stand up and fight makes me want to curl up on the floor and sob for ages and ages and ag-

and i would go into detail about luffy's character but i don't want to spoil anything, so let's just focus on usopp here:

lusopp's dynamic works well both as a friendship and as a ship, mainly because they're both on the same page when it comes to silly shenanigans. we see them actively enjoying being with each other and doing stupid things together and that's just,,, so sweet. but also, usopp is one of those people that have to ground luffy sometimes and tell him "fuck, no. haha. we're so not doing that" because despite acting silly, he's pretty much more logical and rational than luffy is. but, you know, the reason he's like that most of the time is because he's scared of fucking dying (which i understand. i'd be scared too in that crew. i'm glad nami is always agreeing with him with these things), and he has to be the one to stop luffy (try to, at least. never really works) from doing extremely dangerous things. which is both hilarious and actually pretty cute to watch because it shows us how well usopp knows luffy. it's obvious that they're best friends. dude knows what luffy is going to do minutes before luffy even thinks about doing it. and luffy really, really admires and loves usopp's abilities and strengths and brains. all the things usopp is insecure about? luffy loves them!!!

and, you know, it's a good ship because they have that sort of bff energy, but if you make it romantic and angsty and more intimate? that's just better! i feel like their ship is just- those friendships that turn into romantic relationships but their dynamic doesn't really change at the end of the day? and i find that really endearing.

luffy makes usopp see the best in himself and makes him want to improve as a pirate to follow his dream and feel like he belongs in the crew. usopp makes luffy be a bit more grounded to reality whenever he needs to, and he was the first one to make luffy realize that, well, fuck, he's the captain of a ship and he needs to be responsible and make harsh decisions.

but now that they're together again, luffy is sooo not going to let him go ever again. and usopp will never try to do so because he just wants to keep fighting for him!!!

it's such an endearing and funny and angsty ship. i think i just don't really ship them much because i'm more of a sanuso/zolu kind of person. but at this point just make it poly and everybody is happy (except nami bc she has to deal with the 4 of them being in love and that would be extremely tiring. somebody bring back vivi for her PLEASE).

but yeah, cute ship. not my favorite but awesome to explore and tbh one of my favorite friendships in this show. very underrated but that's just bc usopp is underrated af and it makes my blood boil with anger and the fury of hell itself. that's for another day, though!

#they're very cutie patootie #these boys can fit so much trauma inside of them #but they're such great friends #i honestly think lusopp shippers are in a whole other level dude #sanuso and lusopp shippers should unite bc our arcs are water 7/enies lobby and we have in common that we love usopp a lot #lusopp #monkey d luffy #usopp #one piece

[torchickentacos]

I've developed a new strategy to countering unhelpful urges to self sabotage out of spite- This approach is 'Would my friends* yell at me** for this?'

So, currently I'm dealing with the ordeal of 'if one more person tells me to drink more water for my chronic illness, as if I don't know my own chronic illness better than they do, then I'm going to intentionally drink as little water as I can for a week in response'. Unfortunately, 1.) I live with people who tell me this often, usually in spats they started, so I'd be drinking... not much water, and 2.) self sabotage is fine and great and fun (not really) until it's at the expense of your own health (really) so I've had to figure out ways to get my brain to back down from this. Because I have gone through with it before to bad results with frustratingly little satisfaction at the end of the spiteful road. Mostly, it just makes me black out more.

The current working strategy for...not-doing-this is 'would my friends yell at me for intentionally dehydrating myself', or 'would my friends yell at me for calling ritz crackers an adequate lunch' or 'would my friends yell at me for telling my parents I'm going on a walk, only to go sit on the curb a block over in January for an hour'? The answer tends to be yes.

Because here's the thing. Will I do health/wellbeing things out of compliance to authority? No. I actively want to do them less every time I'm told to, at this point. It makes me want to become the problem people think I am. HOWEVER, I will do these things for myself, my own future and wellbeing, and for my friends who care about said future and wellbeing. SO FAR this approach of stopping and asking, 'would [friend's name(s)] appreciate this?' actually works really well, because no, they'd absolutely not appreciate me doing that, and I currently value their opinion far more than other people's.

So congrats to my friends for getting me to drink water (or gatorade, or liquid IV or whatever else) by existing!

*This includes mutuals. Feel free to substitute with 'would I get a concerned anon about this?'.

**Note that my friends are lovely and would not actually yell at me <3 Some of them might give me some negative discord react emojis about it though lmfao :drew: :deadash6: :imnotmadimjustdisappointed:

#ok to rb #we stan recognizing our unhelpful behavioral patterns and trying to curb them <3 #my third grade teacher liked to repeatedly call me defiant and oppositional. i kinda see it now #i think the term on my iep was 'pathological demand avoidance' but ksjdksjhxnbv same difference i guess #oversharing in the name of spreading helpful strategies #taylor's tag #long post

[mono-red-menace]

i spent quite a while online trying to prove i was a good tranny. like trying to prove that i was worthy of existence out of a fear that i would be targeted. yk? i've been a person with intrusive thoughts for a long time and i would often see my thoughts as my "true colours" even though i didn't want them. anything over than fighting them full-on was an admission of my true horrid nature.

this was exacerbated by my attempts to get therapy yk. like coming out as trans and being told to my face, through gritted teeth, that it's "fine" if i'm trans. i'm "not going to hurt someone. yet. especially not children." from someone who was supposed to help me. to make me feel better. to make me less scared. outright telling me that i'm a paedophile literally just for being trans. a teenager.

or any attempt to get help with my intrusive thoughts, "i'm thinking these awful things and i don't want them. they scare me and they won't stop," to therapists, and met with obvious disgust and contempt. like because i'm thinking these things, because they jump into my brain, even though they scare me, depress me, make me want to tear my skin off, they're an example of the "real me." it's nothing wrong with my brain, obviously, to them. it's a perversion. i'm not someone who is deeply hurt and scared. i'm disgusting to them.

the thoughts were like. made worse by it too. yk. asking for like. help. like "surely these thoughts don't make me wrong, right? surely it's just a brain thing, surely i'm good, i'm not bad?" and it being met with "you're a disgusting person. you're a pervert. you're going to hurt children. you're violent and deranged." really doesn't make the thoughts better. you know.

they got worse.

much more violent, much more sexual, much more often. constant thoughts of how i could ruin people in so many ways. and i'm the only one experiencing them. no one even knows what im thinking. and i'm so distressed. they're proof that i'm secretly a horrible person. i have to prove that i'm not. i can't let the thoughts win. i don't want them to win.

so like i wanted to like. really prove that it was wrong and that i wasn't bad and that i was a good tranny and i'm a normal person and i don't constantly get bombarded with horrible, disgusting thoughts. i wanted to prove that i was good. even though I believed my thoughts were proof of how horrible and wrong i was. how much i deserved to be locked up. so i also felt a guilt about it. you know. like not only am i horrid and deranged, but i'm also pretending i'm not. and for what? why would i? i obviously had some ulterior motive if i was doing it. i didn't even know what it was. but i could guess. there were so many reasons why i could be pretending to be good.

anyway. the intrusive thoughts have been getting better now that i'm in a caring environment. and a bit less now that i'm not around people as much. i still get the intrusions of killing this person/animal, of sexually assaulting this person/animal. but they're a lot less common. and now I know that an intrusive thought isn't something that proves i'm wrong. or bad. it's something that proves i'm hurt.

i don't want to do that stuff. i'm scared of doing that stuff. it terrifies me, and i obsess over it because it terrifies me. you know? so in my getting better with dealing with it and getting better with accepting that it's not what i want, I've been getting better at not feeling the overwhelming urge to prove that i'm actually good. you know?

idk i just. dont talk about this because it makes me feel like people will think im a bad person. i dont want people to think i'm. a bad person. i want to prove that i'm good. i want to prove that the thoughts aren't me.

talk about intrusive thoughts online, actual talk about actual intrusive thoughts, has been really helpful to me. i've been internalising the ideas in them. countering what was thrown at me with the new knowledge of what intrusive thoughts are. and in accepting the thoughts are evidence of pain, not inherent badness, they've lessened.

anyways. it's funny how often the help i need to get over deep-seated issues in my brain comes from a source outside of therapy. and many of the things that Made Me Worse came Directly From Therapists. guess that's what it's like being a trans woman growing up im a conservative state. lmao.

#t slur #long post #vent #rape ment #csa ment