#i definitely appreciate RBs ... i am kinda proud of this ; w ;

[bruh-changbin]

ok i can be honest… so think pink isn’t bad at all it’s just a little clunky. mc comes across as a pick-me, or self-centered. she’s rude to seemingly everyone for reasons we don’t know. it’s a little bit unrealistic because it’s hard to tell what jeongin and mc are fighting about? you probably could have made it flow more naturally than it is. but i don’t think it’s bad at all and it’s a fun idea too. maybe you need more revision? just read over your own work a few times to make sure it doesn’t sound awkward. build somewhat of a narrative and structure for mc. what does she like, what doesn’t she, etc. make her feel like a real solid identity. then i think it will be perfect!

anon I just wanna say THANK YOUUUUU for actually giving me like good constructive criticism 🙏🏼 I’ve had some of my writer friends revise my stuff but I’ve never had a reader actually tell me their thoughts like this so the only critiques I’ve had are from writers who critique from a writers perspective and not from a reader perspective……. if that even makes sense lmfao

I totally understand what you mean by it feeling clunky. I actually started this fic last year and was gonna post it last halloween but didn’t finish it so then when I went to actually finish it for this year I had like all of the main plot points written and had to kinda fill everything in? which in hindsight I feel like I should’ve scrapped and just started over to make it feel a lot more coherent and just flow better

I also wrote the majority of it in like 3 days (which I will usually work on a fic for like a week minimum even if it’s short bc I just need to sit with what I’ve written before revising/posting) and posted bc I already said I was gonna post it for Halloween and didn’t wanna go back on my promise 😭 so I def def get that it feels kinda unstructured

in terms of providing more background on mc or other characters is that what you guys like reading? because I also enjoy getting background but am always nervous that I’m droning on for too long and that people will wanna get into the real meat of the story sooner yk? and ik a lot of the fics that perform really well are ones that kinda dive right into stuff. BUT if that’s smth you feel like would be beneficial especially to fics that are this kinda vibe (which is like most of my fics lol) then I will definitely do that, I just don’t wanna feel like I’m adding stuff that’s unnecessary and that people might skip over, yk? so like… is more in depth explanation of a character or relationship or whatever what people want? bc I am happy to deliver again I just don’t wanna feel like I’m babbling on for too long

all of that being said lol think pink def isn’t a fic that I’m particularly proud of so I super super duper appreciate you letting me know your thoughts anon, I cannot stress how much it means to me that you read my work and saw my rb asking for feedback and actually took the time to send me this 🙏🏼 as a writer it means a lot when people actually engage with me whether it’s helpful asks like this or just saying hi or WHATEVER, I love interacting and chatting w y’all regardless and love your feedback 😭 but yea thank youuu anon I’m so glad you shared your thoughts and I will def keep them in mind and apply them as I’m working on my next fic (which is not for skz lol sorry) 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💗💗💗💗

more asks like this please!!! pls engage w your writers when they ask for feedback!!!

#asks #anons

[lesbiandaisy]

- We did it, buddy. sooo last post i mentioned a deputy-longtail AU ... here’s an Art i did on impulse for it just now! 😳💞 i detailed the AU below- i hope yall like it!! i really do hehe, i just rlly think longtail got Done Dirty in canon. TLDR; longtail loses faith in himself after he is blinded, but a visit and a vision of swiftpaw’s bravery urges him to continue on as a warrior. also this fleshes out his relation to firestar, and also brightheart!! 🌻

The AU is the same story up until Longtail’s injury. Firestar insists Longtail continues being a warrior, and offers to help him, but Longtail refuses. He thinks he is worthless, being a blind hunter/fighter, so he retires himself to the elders den. He stays there for quite some time, growing more and more depressed. He is also too scared to talk to Brightheart, ever since Swiftpaw’s death- both for feeling guilty, and for feeling just, sorry for her.  

One night Longtail has a dream. He can see again in this dream, something he hasn’t done since he was blinded. Swiftpaw visits him. Longtail is overjoyed at first to finally see his apprentice again, happy in StarClan, but he quickly turns to feeling ashamed. Ashamed he wasn’t strong enough to make him a warrior in the end. ... Swiftpaw proceeds to show Longtail a vision of him and Brightheart fighting the dogs, but not the grusome defeat- rather the strength the two apprentices showed throughout the entire battle. Longtail is of course horrified at first of the sight, but more than that, impressed at how Swiftpaw never lost his courage; even when facing enemies much larger and stronger than him. He promises him to keep on fighting, until his final breath- for Swiftpaw, and to not let his death be in vain.  Longtail finally, after many moons in the elders den, tells Firestar he wishes to continue as a warrior. Firestar is surprised at this sudden twist of events, but happily helps his Good Friend learn how to work around his blindness. The two work together for a long time, and grow closer than ever. 

Longtail also finally finds the courage to talk to and connect to Brightheart after all this time. He is utterly impressed with her and her will to not give up after her traumatic experience and injury. After a while the two dare to speak of Swiftpaw, and what happened in the fight against the dogs. Brightheart tells Longtail about how brave and couragous he was, and how the memory of this motivated her to keep going. Longtail quickly realises how similar him and Brightheart are, and the two form a close bond, similar to siblings’. When Graystripe is presumed dead when the Clans have been at the lake for a while, Firestar caves, and decides he should appoint a new deputy. As in the end of TNP, this happens after Hawkfrost’s death. Only he doesn’t pick Brambleclaw- he picks Longtail. He knows no one of the entire lake has worked harder and more passionately than Longtail, and knows ThunderClan will be in safe paws under the duos reign.  Longtail accepts gratefully. Standing on the highledge, accepting his role, he hears his family and friends cheering for him, overjoyed. And while he cannot hear or physically feel him, he knows  Swiftpaw is there beside him; as he has been on his entire journey. 

........................................................................................................................... ...WOOO that took long to write drfjkdfjkg its so late here now hahah! anyways, if you got so far, i hope you enjoyed it!! i would love suggestions and add-ons on this if anyone has something more! 💞😸

#that took SO LONG TO WRITE ERGDFGFGDGDG #i had a blast tho!!! #i definitely appreciate RBs ... i am kinda proud of this ; w ; #now its late and i must rest dfkhfdkj GN YALL!! <33 #longtail #firestar #swiftpaw #brightheart #warriors #warrior cats #warrior cats au #warriors au #longtail au #wc #wc au #wc longtail #art #sorry all these tags lol