I deserve love.
I deserve happiness.
And so do you.
even tho we may not feel like we deserve it.
But i'm telling you (and myself)
🦋You deserve to be loved
🦋You deserve to be appreciated
🦋You deserve to be happy
🦋You are enough
What would you be doing if money wasn’t an issue?
They stay money doesn’t buy happiness, but the thing is... a lot of the things I want to do that make me happy all involve money. Paying my bills costs money, taking care of my health costs money, traveling costs money, tattoos cost money, studying at Korea University costs a lot of money, going to concerts....costs money. Everything that makes me happy or anything for that matter involves money.
Now, a lot of these things may seem like things that are not essential to happiness or to life, but all these things are what make me happy. Things that comfort me in times where I feel like I’m at my lowest or most of the things that stress me out because they cost money.
So, that’s why that whole statement of money doesn’t buy happiness bothers me so much. Even if people live frugally, they’re living paycheck to paycheck and just not happy. They may be grateful but they’re not happy because they don’t feel free or like they’re actually living.
Anyways, if money wasn’t an issue for me, I know I’d be doing so much more than I have been. I’d be traveling more to places like Hawaii, New Zealand, Iceland, Bali, Japan, Spain, France, Puerto Rico, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, all over Korea, and so many more places (obviously not in the middle of what’s going on, but you know what I mean).
I’d also already be living in Korea. Not just for university, but fully moved and settled down in Seoul. I would have my apartment in Hongdae and I’d be living comfortably, happily, creatively, and just freely.
I’d be taking so many art classes from painting to graphic design to photography and film making. I’d be doing so much. If money was not an issue, I’d just be living my best life and doing anything and everything that makes my heart swell up with joy.
With all that being said, I want to ask many of you: What would you be doing if money wasn’t an issue?
Side note: I just wanted to say thank you to whoever took the time to read this post! I figured during uncertain times like this, why not utilize it? Why don’t I do something?
Now, I’d be lying if I said that I’ve been handling self-isolation well. Technically I’ve been in self-isolation since November when my previous job let me go. Since then, I’ve been on a major mental and emotional roller coaster of focusing on myself and trying to get my life together.
However, right now it’s different. The feelings are different and I’ve been struggling the uncertainty, but I’m now at a point of learning to shift my mindset. I’ve learned a lot in the past couple of weeks and even more in the past few months, but this is only the beginning.
Back to before though, I decided to do a writing and journaling challenge. I really want to find more creative outlets to express myself and just pull myself out of this rut I’ve been in since August/September. I also have been having this urge to just produce more content again, since I know if I don’t upload anything then nothing will grow. Right?
Whether it be writing challenges I find on Pinterest, actually getting over my insecurities again with being on camera and filming for my channel, trying to work on building more artistic skills, etc. I’m really trying to make use of this time, especially as a distraction for my mental sake.
I hope you are all doing well.
Please stay healthy and safe.
여러분 정말 감사합니다~ 나중에 봐요!
-버블티주세요 | Bubbleteajuseyo <3
Sometimes I feel like not existing anymore. It’s like a passive death wish. I sometimes day dream about cataclysmic climate change, or nuclear war, because it takes some of the sting and guilt out of it if the entire world was ending and not just my singular, individual life. And sometimes it hurts to feel this way, in ways I can’t describe.
But I still hold out hope. I keep living, and I keep doing my best every day because I believe that some day I’ll be happy. I’ll be moved out of my parents’ house, meet a person who wants to spend their life with me, and may even come to terms with my depression once and for all. I hate feeling this way, but I keep reminding myself that it’s not forever.
And good will come.
I hate when I’m finally happy and I let everything interfere with my happiness.
I am annoyed my he ruins my mood because of his decisions.
I get angry and it ticks me off.
He makes me feel like I need to be as miserable as him.
I sabotage everything because I don’t feel I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to be happy.
Self Care Struggles
Okay but like, does anyone else struggle with "self care guilt?" I feel like anytime I do something nice for myself I'm doing something wrong. Like I don't deserve to be comfortable or I'm going to be punished for being happy.