#i did a lot of rping back In The Day

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not inviting a friend of mine into my dnd campaign?

so i (18nb) have a friend (18nb, Martin) who i play in a main dnd campaign with with all our other friends (Ill name them Dan, Virgil, Mark, and Ray). Dan is our DM after we kicked out the old one bc she was horrible. We're a pretty close group of friends, but lately we've all been really busy with respective school & work, ect. so we didnt play dnd for a solid, like,, 4 months. I DMed a one shot for everyone besides Ray cause she was flaky anyway, and added in my boyfriend Zeke for it.

Everyone had a really fun time w it and I loved everyones characters, especially Dan's. I watch a lot of dnd shows, so i just keep getting more ideas- but while the one shot was fun it was messy as hell. Ive been wanting to write a campaign for a smaller group for a while, (because when i tried making a campaign with the whole group the character creations were... disappointing to say the least. this sounds mean but i created a fairy world that was very magical & told everyone to go crazy on character creation in a world with few/no humans, and like 5/6 people opted to be a human with a fighting class :/ )

ive been writing a campaign that im really proud of and have a good vision for, and decided to include Mark (because we're best friends) Zeke (because he wants to play dnd more and has no opportunities) Dan (bc he never gets to be a player) and then another close friend of mine outside the group named Gabe (who i love but never get to see) I love their characters & we're all super excited.

Thing is. I was briefly talking with Dan, Zeke and Mark about it at school bc I'd sent everyone a little intro message for the world and they were all super excited and wanted to talk to me about their classes. Virgil had no problem with this and was excitedly asking abt the world + characters along with some other friends from school, but Martin got quiet and went and sat by himself. I could tell they were off, but Martin is generally a quiet person anyway and is often sad + doesnt want to talk for like a hundred different reasons, so i left her alone. Later that day in a different class I have with Virgil he showed me his phone where Martin had sent him a message saying she was really disappointed & felt left out that i hadnt invited them to my campaign.

i instantly felt bad and started to text him, but,,,, to be honest, i dont think im at all responsible for this.

i have reasons for leaving Martin out, the main one being that they just..... arent a very active player. Hes soft spoken and doesnt actually like rping their characters- her character in our main campaign is/was literally mute bc they said they didnt want to have to speak as him. (theyve since taken this back and went through with a curse breaking thing to be able to speak, but her character,,, still doesnt talk much.) he writes really good, sad backstories but doesnt actually play or do anything with them and gets uncomfortable acting. Their characters are not only emotional, but like. crazy. they play a bunch of cool tieflings with insane magic classes & features and then, again,,,, dont roleplay them. I didnt want the group to be big and had a good reason for including everyone that i did, and our other friends that arent in it (Virgil, Ray who is Martins sister btw, all our other d&d interested friends at school) literally dont mind at all. i just wrote a campaign that theyre not in. Martin also has their feelings hurt very easily, so to be honest i just find her being sad about not being in it just... stupid. id never say that to his face & i get that he feels bad, but like....cmon.

im aware im a very very incredibly low empathy person- to be honest i struggle with depression and bpd very heavily and am often mean to my friends & loved ones without really processing why or how much it affects them. i told Virgil that i thought Martins reaction was stupid, and he said that that wasnt fair bc Martin had always been in my campaigns before (which is, yknow, one. Martin and I were even in a campaign with a completely different group a while back and Martin willingly left it very early because the group was loud & their character wasnt doing anything (yeah)). Every time Martins expressed (or i guess not expressed) sorrow for not being invited to it ive just sort of ignored them. this again isnt that uncommon cuz when shes sad he doesnt like to talk about it, and also they havent directly confronted me with this at all.

ive been talking about the campaign a lot because it occupies frankly a lot of my brain because i have so much to write, and i especially talk to the people that arent in it bc theres no risk of slipping up and telling them something they arent supposed to know. The other friend, Gabe, is friends with Zeke and Mark and I, and Dan is good around new people,, but Martins really quiet around people he doesnt know well, so if i invited her anyway they'd probably play the game even less than they already do.

again, im really bad at having an actual perspecitve on this. Virgil said he feels bad for Martin but not for himself, as far as i know Dan doesnt know about the situation, and i literally just dont wanna involve Mark and Zeke (Zeke HATES conflict and when people fight so he really doesnt have to be involved.) Mark Martin and I have all been really close friends since literally 7th grade and I guess Martin especially feels left out that I involved Mark and not them but Marks both really good at character creation and also talking in character, and like, hes my best friend who i do everything with.

I dont wanna blow off Martins emotions but but i truly dont give a shit that they feel betrayed by my not inviting him. especially because they havent bothered actually telling me this. objectively i dont think its my fault even a little, and Martin is really horrible at handling their emotions anyway (this isnt an insult, just a fact. i am too). aita for not inviting him + not caring that shes upset by it and acting like they arent?

sorry this is so long i really like providing context

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Just making a list of things, intentionally or otherwise, which might have/did mess with Philza's emotional state in the lead up to him doing a silly and following the book (which promised his kids back and implied his wings too) (from memory I don't have the stream open and it was loooong):

It being Tallulah's birthday

Forever, a close friend, is in a coma after having been drugged, and Philza probably having a pretty traumatic time just 2 days prior trying to help. And now all he can do is bang a pan and talk and pray.

Eggs missing

Philza missed his eggs being hurt and in pain and scared because he was away, and the signs are still there to prove it

Him and Fit discussing the eggs, and if Philza would still love them even if they were AIs/robots/lab experiments/etc

Event his kids would have really enjoyed, but they aren't there to do so. No Chayanne doing the cooking, no Tallulah playing her flute...

Taking Tallulah's place at the event by playing the music (a thing Philza doesn't do, despite being in an extremely musical family)

Capybaras helping him fly to take photos (see: the damaged wings and the promise of flight)

Alcohol from the celebration, even if he only drank a little bit.

Having to explain everything to Missa, his government assigned husband, and admit he wasn't there when the eggs needed them - neither of their parents were there, just the babysitters. Couldn't even get a phonecall with their dads when the kids were hurt and in pain. Having to tell his partner their children are lost, maybe dead, maybe gone, nobody knows. Obviously Missa needed to know and Philza would explain it! And telling Missa the best option! But... It wouldn't have helped Philza's mental state.

The eggs in the maze and only two survive story (messed with everyone tbf)

Only (a copy of) Chayanne's item being in the maze. Also it being blocked from him by the barrier blocks. It only being Chayanne's is even worse to his mental state than it being everyone's there

Believing himself too stupid to save his children, expressing this directly by apologising to the Chayanne floaty for that, and bringing it to mind, probably not helped by being in a crew of a lot of the 'clever' players (we all know from those tumblr posts insulting yourself enough over time affects behaviour, and given his mentions about not doing lore because not clever enough earlier even if that was ooc this is probably a longer term concern for him C as well. Pretty sure he's called himself stupid while rping with the eggs before)

The maze ending with no answers, only more pain and fear. Once again left with glimmers but in practice nothing

His extremely secure home being compromised

Using Tallulah's colours and flowers on the box. Also correctly getting the one of his kid who would leave him angsty metaphor and a story with the instructions, even if it felt a bit off (its her birthday, its her birthday, he was desperate)

The joke about a wise old crow whilst he was feeling very stupid, but knows his kids think of him as clever.

Also the crow thing. I know there's a lot of jokes about Philza and bird brain which go around from time to time, the perching, the wandering off to examine shiny things while people are talking, etc. If we take this as read... Well. Phrasing the instructions as about a bird really would force that side of him.

Using the nest as the closest waypoint. His nest, not his house, his concrete nest in the sky where he felt most like the bird he partially is.

It happening so late. Philza doesn't often continue to midnight, let alone gone 2am. To me this implies his character isn't usually up and big active that long (I like to think when offline the characters are a combo of sleeping and just chilling). So IC he's probably exhausted. Which. Does not for "rational" thinking make. You probably wouldn't have got him not leaving at least a copy of the book in the chest earlier in the day.

TBH, all that accounted for, I'm surprised he kept weapons and shield and glider and food on him with the note. It was needed, but I'm more surprised he managed to reign himself to bring some things with him not just throw everything on the floor and go.

It was a /long/ stream and even the fun cute bits fed into a loop of stressing him out and breaking down. Crack, crack, crack, crack, and after enough time it /will/ get through.

And tbf, it probably took all of that to do so.

(and I hope the other characters when he one way or another gets out of this understand. everyone's under a lot of stress, but that stream in Philza stream was just breaking him again and again and again)

Also another aside which breaks the vibes of this post but eh - people keep saying his survivalist tendancies should have kicked in, but I think they actually played against him here?

Philza is used to taking on very shit situations with a lot less than he was carrying. That sword and shield? More powerful than anything in hardcore. And sure now he's set up he has so much food and resources in hardcore world, but when he starts? He starts somewhere impossibly dangerous with literally nothing, and does fine, which is a whole lot less than he took with him.

Plus... He's used to being alone. Completely stressed out, manipulated, and fucked with brain probably didn't even consider a note. Why? Because he's not used to anyone being there. Why leave a note before going to do something dangerous you're underequipped for if there's nobody there to read it? It's only him in most of his worlds. Nobody would notice him gone because there's nobody there to notice.

(Sure his husband his back and his friends are here and the island is full of people who love and trust and care about him, but at the end of the day, when he's stressed and its late and the Feds have systematically and likely purposefully broken him down, and his friends have accidentally helped with that... He's from a solo hardcore world, where he starts with nothing and nobody is there to help him. It's not he doesn't trust them. It's that he doesn't even realise in the height of his emotions that there's anyone else there.)

#qsmp rambles #qsmp philza #meta #I guess #character analysis #kinda again #i keep seeing people say its out of character with his survivalist vibes #but... is it? #he's from a solo world where he always starts with much less than he took with him #and he took weapons he couldn't even dream of in his world #when he's that stressed why would he leave a note when he's used to there being nobody there

[joker-ace]

This is kind of a wild thing to admit, but when my best friend and I were kids (like 12-13), we had an entire MHA RP and we used a lot of OCs we found randomly online. Obviously we grew out of that pretty fast, and as an adult now I look back on it with a little bit of guilt cause ya know, they were other people’s characters and I don’t think we understood why that was a weird thing to do at that age?

Anyway, long story short, Inori was one of the characters we used the most and I had honestly completely forgotten that I just saw him while browsing google one day and I loved his design, so I used him. I haven’t even thought about that RP in several years, but I thought you might get a kick out of knowing that Inori has been happily living on my Tomodachi Life island for AGES now. He’s one of the first Miis I added and he’s actually married to another person’s MHA OC (who we wrote as his love interest in the RP back in the day too 😅) He’s one of my favorites on there, and it didn’t strike me until today how his original artist had no idea about any of this!

I just thought you might laugh a little about it! I really hope that doesn’t upset or offend you in any way 😅 If it does, I genuinely do apologize. It’s not something I would ever do now, obviously!

TLDR: Inori is alive and well in my Tomodachi Life and my best friend and I really loved your art as kids :)

Genuinely feeling a mixed of things about this, so I waited to sleep on it before responding. And the lasting thought I had the past couple of days since getting this ask was "Oh yeah, been there, done that."

In my early internet RPing days, I too was just a kid that took random pics online willy-nilly bc I thought it no harm to do so, especially for something silly as a random rp online. Obviously, like u & ur friends, I realized later on how bad it was to just take someone else's character and make it your own, w/o consent from the original artist-- especially as an artist myself.

The overall thing I'm willing to say on this is that I'm glad you guys loved my art (and Inori especially apparently!! 😂). I can probably assume you guys weren't being malicious about it, and if someone had ever pointed it out back then, u probably would have stopped. 😅 But what's done is done, and I did get a laugh at Inori living in ur Tomodachi Life.

#hope he's living his best mii life in there honestly #that lil blorbo #i thought i would be offended but like as a kid i also made those same mistakes so ykno i understand #jokes on me

[shinyzango]

You know... sometimes I miss ask blogs.

I did a lot of dumb shit myself back in the day because of my immaturity, but man that was a fun time. I wonder if people still do them nowadays.

It's just a shame that the new post layouts made RPing on here tedious without ending up with long-ass post chains.

[despairforme]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

[ Oh man this post got long (and surprisingly serious) fjfjfjffjjf I wrote this 2 days ahead of time because I was so excited about it ahahaha --- I'm wishing you all a wonderful 2024!!!!!

2023 was a year of surprising development for me. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or if I'm simply moving into a different mindset. I loved this year! It was awesome, and I'm so happy to see that I've written MORE for Nnoitra this year than I did in 2022 ( even though my overall word-count went down from 290 000 to 280 000 ). I can't say I completed many of my goals ( or any of them LOL ). I had lots of goals for 2023, but I was unable to complete them. The past few months, especially, have brought forth big changes in my creative flow and focus.

I've realized that I need to change my priorities, to better fit my new mindset.

Roleplaying is no longer going to be my main focus. In the past, whenever I've wanted to write, I've always focused on finishing drafts, asks ect. I've mostly written on here, since that's what I prefer. Or, rather - what I used to prefer. This is not to say I don't have muse for Nnoitra, because I always feel inspired for him. What's changed are my priorities. I've come to the conclusion that what's important to me is creating stories. Since Nnoitra's story ( main verse ) has become so stagnant, it feels less important to me. I know I can drive the story on, push it forward and thus find it important once more, but - I don't want to do that. I want to create my own, original stories instead. Becoming a professional writer has always been my dream, and that's simply not possible to do when I'm prioritizing rping. Roleplaying is going to have to take the backseat.

--- That being said, I'm absolutely not quitting! I can't imagine myself not writing for Nnoitra, so I'll be writing on here like before, and I'll even try to be more consistent. An enemy of mine in 2023 has been procrastination. One of my goals for 2024 is to conquer this, so that I can be more efficient with my time. I think that by dedicating less time to roleplay, I'll be more efficient when I do sit down and write for my muses. My activity the past few months have been spotty, so I'd love to get into a better flow.

2024 GOALS:

FOCUS ON PERSONAL PROJECTS. I have a lot of them. Two (three?) book projects, two long OC-centered fanfictions.

WRITE FANDOM PROJECTS. I have a lot of ideas for fanfictions, and I want to make the time to write them. Some are long, some are short. Getting feedback on my stories has always been a great feeling, and fanfiction is the best way to get that serotonin.

CHANGE MY WRITING HABITS. My habits are bad. They lead to a ton of procrastination and wasted time. I want to be more structured when it comes to my writing time (and my time in general, but especially my writing time). I want to stick to schedules, word-count goals, page goals ect. Conquering procrastination is going to be key.

CONSISTENT RP POSTING. Even though I won't be focusing on roleplaying, I still intend to do it regularly and get replies and asks out in a more timely manner. I'll probably set off some time in the evening to get replies done, and have some fun on the dash when others are online. I'll try to be consistent across my blogs, not just on Nnoitra.

CREATE THINGS THAT ARE PHYSICAL. I've come to realize that I love things that translate to the real world. Not just words on a screen, or a digital artwork, but things that you can touch. It's why I've absolutely fallen in love with watercolor painting. I'm going to try to print some of my writing work so that I have physical copies. I'm also going to print my art so that I can hold it in real life.

FIND A SHIP FOR NNOITRA. It's been so long since I wrote a ship for him, and I need it back in my life. I've been looking for a ship for him the whole time, but I need to put more effort in, and let him interact with more characters, as well as continue to develop the relationships he does have ( in case one of them turns romantic? ). I'd love for 2024 to be the year Nnoitra falls in love again.

I am SUPER excited for 2024! I love new years and fresh starts, and I feel so incredibly inspired by the changes in my mindset. I feel like I've been stuck for a good while with rping. Don't get me wrong, I've loved every second of it, and I've learnt so much about writing - and met the most amazing people. It's just that it's time for a change. Time for me to create other kinds of stories. I thought that things were aligned for me to write books last year, but I really didn't have the right mindset - but now I do! I'm hyped!! Hope you're ALL going to have the most amazing 2024 guys!! ]

#[ was gonna post this yesterday at midnight but ahahaha i was busy ] #[ watched wonderful fireworks with my s/o and then we watched haikyuu u v u ] #[ also i hope you're not alarmed by this post xDD not much will change when it comes to my writing on here ] #[ actually i think with more structured writing sessions i'll end up more active 8) ] #[ WISH YOU ALL THE BEST !! HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! ] #toby post. ╱ out of character. #longpost //

[rowrowrowanurboat]

Here's an old Starker prompt that I loved when I wrote it and then never looked at again, haha.

Feel free to comment or reach out for collaborative storytelling, RPing, sharing plot bunnies, etc.

[Recently Established, adult!Peter.]

After a month of dating and working together almost daily, they've been slowly moving into becoming intimate with long dates, cuddling on the sofa, casual touches while working in the lab.

This evening, Tony was pretty sure that they were headed for their First Time™. Everything was good, a perfectly cooked romantic dinner (that he'd practiced five days in a row), a movie in Tony's luxurious living room (Theater -- Peter insisted) after, hand holding and Peter's shy slightly awkward flirting.

It all culminating in a slowly building passionate make out session on Tony's sofa as The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension played in the background, unwatched by either of them.

It was heaven, sweet soft lips growing wilder and firmer as they kissed and kissed, and the most ridiculous firm body pressed up against his, his heart swelling with each precious shiver or sigh. But then, suddenly, it went the opposite way, a shock to the system like being volunteered for The Ice Bucket challenge mid-sleep.

They had started to get a little handsy, new territory for them, when in the blink of an eye Peter seemed to panic and was suddenly gone from Tony's lap and halfway across the large living room. Even Tony's mind couldn't process things quickly enough for him to make sense of Peter's sudden absence in the moment.

Worse yet, Peter all but rambled in an attempt to make an excuse about an exam the next morning, not saying much more than repeated apologies as he crammed his shoes on the wrong feet, hoodie still on the back of the sofa, and he was gone before Tony could even get out more than half a plea to ask Peter to stay.

Worried and a little more hurt than he'd ever let on, Tony immediately fired off a text, then another, and another until he felt as though he'd successfully managed the ever-elusive Communication.

Insecurity and embarrassment at his own scrambling-and-rambling reaction, Tony sighed at himself and dragged his hands down his face, desire entirely replaced by a ball of unpleasant feelings.

[Okay, so I definitely fucked up there. I know it, you definitely know it, I just can't quite figure out what I fucked up yet.]

[And, like, not to call what you said a lie, because you're You, but I'm just pretty sure that there's a lot more to what happened tonight than you suddenly remembering a Differential Equations exam. I wouldn't be upset if that's true. You can be honest with me, Peter. In fact, I really need you to be honest with me.]

[If you've changed your mind on *anything*, you can tell me. I'm sorry if I did something – anything – to make you uncomfortable. I'm even more sorry if you felt pressured in some way or if you felt like you couldn't be honest that you weren't feeling it or that I crossed a line.]

[I'm just worried that I fucked up and hurt you or worse, scared you. Or even that you've realized that I'm a Turn Off in some major way -- please tell me, even if you think it's rude.]

[You don't have to tell me things are fine if I'm making you feel rushed into sex or anything else physical. If anything, I wouldn't want it either, if you didn't.]

[So, yeah, I'm not mad. I'm not really upset. I'm just…worried. I'm sorry. Really. Shit, kid, these fifty fucking texts aren't helping a goddamned thing are they?]

#starker #ironspider #peter parker/tony stark #tony stark/peter parker

[the-6th-harbringer]

PLEASE READ

Hey. So. It's been a. while.

trigger warning: referenced suicide

So, if you haven't noticed, I literally evaporated for two weeks straight without any clarification on why or sign of actually being alive, unlike my last two week disappearance. Unfortunately, this unexpected evaporation does not come with a big "ooh more trauma more lore and angst for scara" thing.

This just happens to be my goodbye post.

I know, it's weird and kind of rude for me to dip for two weeks and then reappear like "hey fuckers im QUITTING hAHaA". Buuuut not only was my dad being annoying and hogging my laptop, I also barely have had time to myself for the past weeks. New family members have been introduced into my life, so now I have double the amount of little siblings to look after. (from 3 to 6. dont ask "how" thats a personal thing). juggling that with school, social stuff, fucking exams which are coming up in 3 months of my gOD, and other even more personal demons that I've been battling, its been. a lot.

SO, to make sure I do not pull the same move as Scaramouche did on the last day of his sakurarealm torture(iykyk), I'm taking a leave from tumblr. Don't know how long I'll be gone, don't know if I'll ever be back, but I didn't just wanna quit without at least telling you guys so you don't think I've been murdered or something.

On a more serious note, thank you all for all of the support and love you've given Scara and all my other blogs. While some of you are a handful, the majority of you are actually the sweetest and silliest community of people I've ever known. I hope you all have excellent lives.

Now, as for what happens to Scara, we're shoving him in another coma. which is entirely at the mercy of Wanderer's mod, because they're my friend outside of tumblr too and i trust that they'll use this as a major angst moment. Put an F for Cyrille and Scara guys

NOW: a few honorable mentions and thank yous:

@wandering-hat-guy : im not writing a goodbye type thing for you because i will literally talk to you tomorrow, but thank you for being an awesome brother-sibling figure. you are the wanderer to my scara :]

@an-active-rabbit : Thank you for being an extremely fun person to rp with. The puppets and the heart is a rp that wont leave my mind for a while yet. Many hugs for you! And I wont be forgetting Mikaven anytime soon >:3

@cyrille-leclair-de-fontaine : AUGH budddyyy im sorry to do this to you. But thank you for creating Cyrille in the first place. Cyscara my beloveds, they will always hold a place in my heart. Maybe one day they'll actually get somewhere. Im also willing to be your friend outside of tumblr if you wish because you're cool >:D

@dishonxsty : For also being a goofy little goober. My favorite rp with you was definitely the ouppy's and scara, and also kudos to you for making like 17 bajillion blogs and being able to manage them all at once somehow like???? go king go

Annnd @monsieur-neuvillette , who seems random because I havent rped with them in literally a century, but thank you for being the one to indirectly help me get over my fears of starting a rp blog AND being the inspo for me to start rping on tumblr in the first place. hugs for you too

Well, alls said that's been said, so I think I'll just end it off here, because it's been like 10 minutes since I started typing this and I am eepy.

Goodbye everyone except wandermod, and thank you for sticking with me through Scara's really out of pocket journey.

(PS: Rest in peace @the-tainted-blossom . I miss you everyday.)

#scara kinnie moment #i should probs reblog this to my other blogs acctually #yeah lemme do that

[hopeful-hugz]

A Letter to My Greatest Creation

My dearest Hope,

It's hard to believe that you're twenty-five now. Hard to believe either of us are in our mid-twenties really. It's kinda wild, huh?

My memory is absolute garbage, but even I still remember the day I thought you up. Back when you and I were still in first grade; your name was George back then and you were my only friend. Imaginary, but still my one and only anyways. We grew up together and eventually you went off on your own adventures... at least for a bit.

I was eleven when you came back home, and you were twelve. February twenty-fourth, twenty-eleven. I can't remember if we had just moved or were in the process of moving, but you came home as someone different. You called yourself Rose now and said you were a girl and we were perfectly okay with that. Again we'd become best friends and you stuck by me as disaster after disaster (at least for a preteen) hit over and over again.

Eventually you wanted to go on more adventures, but this time you didn't want to leave me. I had grown up past the capacity to create imaginary friends, so instead you became a character on paper. Thanks to my fixations at the time, you ended up a little MLP OC-slash-SI named Hopeful Hugz and I couldn't get enough of drawing you. Both in-person and on Miiverse for the... honestly decent following we had on the Youtube Community Tab.

Soon enough I found out about Tumblr and saw people making art on here and actually writing their characters. I wanted to do that with you. Though when we first made hopeful-hugz, it was a personal blog. I had no idea how to start sharing you until someone introduced me to the idea or writing instead of drawing. That's when RPing first started and you gained a human form.

Your story became one with Chamyle's for the first little while, until the two of you split off from each other. You became a blonde, one-eyed telekinetic who still went by Hopeful at the time. We still grew together, we still learned and became stronger. We found family, friends, and lost the same things.

When the purge of twenty-eighteen hit, you and the cast weren't the only ones devastated. I eventually lost my spark and stopped writing here and on my sideblogs. You went into hiding, grieving with the others. All of us fled to Discord for a little under a year...

Then late twenty-nineteen... We decided to give it another shot.

You came back with me as Hope. Just Hope. You brought with you my second greatest creation; the aethers and nagete. It was time we finally showed them to the world. You started rebuilding- we all did...

And now here we are.

We started here when we were sixteen and seventeen, now we're twenty-four and twenty-five. You've come such a long way since your beginnings and have grown so much in that time. You've become such a wonderful young woman and have blessed so many people. I couldn't be more proud of a creator.

I know there's still so much for us to do and adventures for you to go on. The multiverse only grows like we do, after all.

I love you so much, Hope Raymond. You're phenomenal, and I know you're gonna do fantastical things.

Thank you for everything, my dear. Lots of Love from Your Creator;

🥚~🤍

#Event || 25 Years and Counting #Breakfast in Space || OOC #Multiversal MD || Hope #Storybook Scraps || Drabbles

[broodsys]

just... thinking about my life tonight. feeling very (pleasantly) surprised with where im at rn. kinda heavy in the stuff it references but very positive overall

this time last year, i believe i was still getting high like... all the time. and that'd been going on for many, many years by then. most of my time in college i was getting high as soon as i got home.

and i don't really resent it - frankly, it helped keep me alive through some very rough times. but at the end, i didn't feel alive, either. just sorta... moving but absent. it was getting to the point that i didn't recognize myself. couldn't keep any friendships bc i was so scared of fucking up bc i knew i was living in a haze.

eventually i just hit a wall with it. started tapering off, expecting to pick it back up, but i just... never did. at the time, i didn't know if i'd ever write again, if i'd ever get my creative energy back, or if i'd lost it all.

(note: i'm not telling anyone what to do, i'm not judging, nothing like that; this is just my personal relationship with substance use)

but the thing is... here i am? the fact that i've written so much is remarkable in and of itself, like i feel a huge sense of pride and satisfaction with that, but the fact that i've written so much, that it's good, that it's the kind of nuanced, deep, complex writing i've always been scared to do... and all this after i thought i'd lost it all? that's like... it's hard to even believe sometimes.

but here i am. and things are still hard, of course. in a lot of ways, the underlying problems that i started using drugs to cope with are still there. but it's different now, because i know enough about myself, about life, about coping mechanisms, about focus and perception and all these things, that i can approach life differently even with many of the same burdens. and it's just... wild to me.

i'm writing fic. in fact, i've been writing a minimum of 500 words a day for over 100 days - well over, really, but i wasn't always tracking it. i'm writing one of the biggest fics i've ever written, and easily the best and most cohesive longfic i've ever written. i'm learning to draw??? like where tf did that come from? but it did, and i'm here, and i'm letting myself engage with it lightly, without undue pressure. trying to learn to not see the problems, trying to learn to trust the process, and overall just... engaging with creative outlets for the sake of engaging with creative outlets. i'm rping with my friends! i'm doing an exchange event for the first time in my life! i'm just... interacting and engaging in ways i haven't been able to for so, so long

and i'm talking to people! i'm beginning to open up and learn how to socialize again! sometimes it's awkward and i feel like i've fucked up but i'm accepting that part of it, too. being human is messy, communication is messy, all of it is... but it's worthwhile, too.

idk. there was a huge stretch of years there that were just... empty. before that, so much that was incredibly painful. and after that, still a lot that has been incredibly painful. things haven't necessarily "gotten better," but i've still gotten better.

just really thinking about that tonight. it's nice.

[sysmedsaresexist]

So

Here's the deal.

I have officially resigned from SN.

Here's my message.

@Moderator I am giving SN my resignation.

You've got until the weekend to figure out a public reply before I go ham.

This isn't about me, it's about my frustration over defending all of you.

I actually haven't been directly named yet. I could literally walk away unscathed, but my heart hurts so much and I am filled with so many emotions that I feel like I'm going to burst. I am internally imploding.

Keeping quiet has made me physically ill, I have lost twenty pounds, I have ongoing shingles from stress (the stress being unable to deal with strong emotions with no outlet), I am feeling ashamed of myself, who I am, how I handle things. I am full of guilt and self hatred over my feelings. Why can't I just be like you guys? Why can't I just let it wash over me and move on and ignore it?

I question everything I post and say now.

I am once again a child being told that everything I feel is wrong, that I'm wrong.

I'm not blaming any of you for that, but my mental health is falling apart.

Part of my healing was embracing my anger and not being ashamed of my feelings, and venting them honestly and openly.

I'm fifty feet back in my journey, and back to hiding and killing my thoughts and emotions.

I haven't switched since April because I'm so scared to let anyone else out that I can't control.

I'm not like you guys, I can't let this continue.

I love you all, so much.

Everything works out in the end, even if it's not how you expected.

Good luck, see you all on the other side.

Bois

I can't wait to make these people look like the fools they are

I can't wait to point out everything about all of this drama

I can't wait to show Sophie how fucking off the mark she is about all these accusations

I can't wait to drop screenshots of the two members that are complaining (yes, because there's only two, out of OVER 300 members) acting like absolute CHILDREN

I can't wait to state the real stances of mods on some of these topics so we can clear the air

To the members:

I am so happy to have met all of you, the community YOU all created is amazing, and I'm grateful and so honoured to have been a part of it. I have never met a group of kinder, more understanding people in my life, and I hope each and every one of you achieves your goals ❤️

I know a lot of you are going to ask why, wondering what I'm doing, but what are we supposed to do? What do they want from us? What's going to make it stop? None of you deserve this, and someone needs to point that out.

Let's cover the big ones

Was SN involved in the banning of Sophie? No. The server only opened that same day.

Was SN involved in the second banning of Sophie? No. That was only two days later, we still weren't fully open.

The few members in the server show complete confusion over her banning, and rules were added that first day that those involved in harassment or false reporting would be banned.

Was SN involved in the banning of eeveecraft? This one is actually hilarious because you'll see that no one knew who the hell eeveecraft was. It's genuinely hilarious the number of, "who?" Like, wow, you're really not that important.

The Sophie bot: it was a handful of uwus and a joke about balloon popping, THAT'S IT, I am LITERALLY looking at the members being upset over one of Sophie's posts at the time, members venting hurt and fear and upset, extreme frustration, struggling with feelings of powerlessness, and someone made a joke, and I'm looking at apologies and rule updates FROM BEFORE SOPHIE EVEN KNEW ABOUT IT

One user made a post and mistakenly or accidently implied it was still happening, but they weren't even in the server at the time it happened. It was not months of rping and harassment. I am still pissed about that post.

It was one person, one night, get over yourself

While watching the SN mods live rent free in Sophie's head was funny, it's just annoying now. Sorry one of the members did something dumb. Can we have apologies for all the baseless accusations you've slung our way, and the ACTUAL months of harassment?

SN harbouring a pedo?! Mods were very open and honest with members during the event. Multiple announcements were made as we investigated. We spoke with members about their comfort. In the end, the accusations were unfounded, confirmed to be false by the alleged victims themselves. We did our due diligence and we supported our members. There are zero safety concerns.

Their real name?! It wasn't their deadname, HOW THE FUCK WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW, WHAT WERE YOU SERIOUSLY THINKING WHEN YOU LEGALLY CHANGED YOUR NAME TO THAT, WHY

Also, see a therapist, your obsession with that person is TERRIFYING and you genuinely need to talk to someone

My past relationships: thank you for dragging that into this, low move, it's not like I had just gotten the situation to calm down and I was finally able to relax, but you're known to react before hearing both sides. Trust me, the damage was mutual, and I can't talk about it because I'm being blackmailed. That person has my name and address. To them, go ahead, post it, let the community decide if it was one-sided and if I blew off my apology.

#syscourse #survivors network #survivor's network #survivors' network #you're not allowed to know which is the real one

[remember-before]

A Very Brief and Very Sectional Look At Fandom History With Reguards to Central Archiving With TK

Fact 1: We're starting with a time in fandom when I was 8 or 9

Fact 2: There are some amazing, extrmely well fact checked fandom histories already out there

Fact 3: The internet is forever and so are all your fandom sins.

Pre FF.N days were weird and rough. Star Trek had been the predominate fandom through the 70s, though fandom goes back hundreds of years (see: Sherlock Holmes). Pre 90s was the time of zines and cons and letters. Mid 90s, thanks to the now-much more common place home internet fandoms like DragonRiders of Pern flourished.

In the beginning, creators tried to be very involved in their fandom. Some, like Tamora Pierce were on the peripheral due to their fears of copyright issues (ie they'd accidentally borrow an idea from fans and then somehow need to credi them) and others, like Anne McCaffrey and Anne Rice were significantly more involved.

Redwall was my first fandom. While now I would never say there was a safe space for kids in the single digits to hang around online in, this was actually true statement then. Jaques had safe sites listed on his website and the fandom was a strong one. ITW (rip :(((() was still the primary message board system and most sites were hosted on netscape or angelfire. The death knoll for this fandom was the fall of ITW, there was just too much lore lost when it went down.

As Redwall waned, Anne Rice was cooking up her bullshit. There's some really well done Anne Rice Bullshit fanlore histories, but basically she used actual lawyers to send fans writing fanfic C&D letters and went after websites and fan content. It was horrifc. Some amazing people fled fandom forever, starting in about 1995. This picked up steam in 2000 when she absolutely wrecked her way through her own fandom.

Anne McCaffrey was, at the same time, on some other bullshit. She approved of and liked her fandom, but she was horrifically homophobic and if there was even a hint of gay anything, she'd throw a fit. She also didn't want anyone writing or RPing women in leadership roles (Bronze and Brown riders for those who read the books) and at some point in… 1999? She put a ban on it and would attempt to get your website taken down if they were rolled.

FFN started in 1998, which feels like it was late to the party. It started as an 18+ archive but by 2002 when the greatbreak happened (your sister is your aunt, hey fam) some ⅓ of their accounts self IDd as under 18. At some point they lowered their age to 13+ which is inline with industry standards.

Before FFN central archiving was done fandom by fandom. FFN didn't take this away. Some of these (SG1, LOTR, HP) were hosted on their own domains, but many were hosted on sites like Geocities (rip). Every time a service like ITW or geocities went down, a ton of fandom was lost forever. This was a high flux time, when fandom archives for even huge fandoms like HP were coming and going faster than you could upload your fics and each archive had it's own politics. What ships did they allow, what genres, what ratings… It varied based on who paid the bills.

FFN was a novel concept, and many fans flocked to it. Having a central archive? For all our fandoms? Glorious.

But what one must remember is that this was also a very weird time for media and the portrayal of gay people (mostly men). Anything involving a m/m relationship was basically two ratings higher than it would have been listed if the couple was het. Entire archives banned it (there was an epic two year long fandom battle in the HP fandom about including m/m relationships in archives not explicitly for m/m relationships).

Which of course led to most m/m fics having explicit or at least an R rating.

Several things happened in a quick timeline in the fandom world in the early 2000s.

1) LOTR came out and took over the known universe. And because there weren't a lot of women in LOTR, there were a lot more m/m fics suddenly. And movie studios were seeing that fandom was Big and Exciting and that Geeks Can Make Us Money. They attempted to put up a monetized website run by the studio to host fanfiction but once added to it, you lost all rights to your work and they could republish it, edit it, or utilize the idea however they wished without crediting you.

Needless to say, this went over like a lead balloon and their submissions were…. Choice.

2) FFN got sued or something and all of the sudden Xi cared A LOT about the content of their site. In september of 2202 they pulled all NC17 fics from their site, all RPS, and most m/m content. The NC17 and RPS stuff was sudden, just entire sections gone, but the m/m stuff was slower and more insidious. They had mods of a sort reading through fandoms looking for "violations" and pulling down fics, and the general public could flag your fic and have it yanked without review.

You can imagine how fandom used this exactly as intended and never used it against people they didn't agree with or pairings they didn't like. Somewhere in there FictionPress also started and all original stuff got yeeted to a new home. Adultff.n came into existence around the same time, but was not run by Xi, had the world's shittiest layout, and required archival permission at one point, meaning you submitted stuff for approval. It wasn't great.

Also let us not forget the MPAA sued them because their ratings are proprietary. Yeeeep.

(also note that search functions within categories didn't exist on FFN at the time, not even based on completion status, word count, or pairing)

This was the birth of AO3. I don't remember where the OG idea came about, but there was a whole lot talk about this idea on LJ. At some point, Brad sold us out to the Russians to Six Apart and LJ was lost, and while many platforms tried to capture the soul of LJ, it just never managed to do so. DreamWidth, Tumblr, JournalFen, etc.

Another thing to remember, is that fandom had been predominately male, even on IIRC days, but FFN and LJ fandom had become a predominately female fandom space. There  was an absolute ton of back and forth about this, written by a lot of people who were way more eloquent than I was in 2005, but there is a lot to be said about the regulation and pushback against spaces where men have to ask for a seat at the table, instead of being offered one. Remember that, for good or for bad, slash fanfic is predominately written by and consumed by female fans.

Which is where we come to today and the central archive we know and love that is AO3. And why when asked by AO3 allows ANYTHING GOES on their website, up to and including things you personally find immoral and DEAD DOVE, we have to recall that AO3 was built as we were being censored and fandom was being ripped from our hands. We have to remember that, at one point, just your basic slash pairing was being pulled down from sites because whoever hosted it didn't like The Gays.

We have a decently detailed history of all fandom kerfluffles from 2002-2015, many of which these incidents were involved in, on FandomWank. Many FandomWank details have been archived in wikis and other timelines. Some have not. Wild Award Mentions go to: LimeyBean, MrsScribe, HP Shipper Wars, WIKTT's Pawn2Queen wars, and anytime SPN ever got mentioned ever. But none are as great and incredible as the saga of Limeybean.

#old fandoms #fandom life #ao3 #ffn #fandom history

[ishgard]

Tag ppl you want to get to know better

Tagged by @myreia - thank you!!!

LAST SONG: so I meant to go to my history to figure out what it was but forgot and by the time I did it changed so uh, haha 'Hozier - 'Francesca'

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Sousou no Frieren, Dungeon Meshi

THREE SHIPS: Ohboyokay let's see. Obviously I have a ton, but three.

Mana & Belial: These two are everything to me. This is me and the besties pandemic ship, we started text RPing with them while I was up north in 2019 and then everything spiraled. They were originally GBF characters but they've jumped to so many different universes and become full blown OCs by this point. They're enemies-to-lovers, they're 'I'll find you in every life time', they're unapologetically horny, they give me so much joy and happiness I could vomit rainbows.

Ahru & Deryk: This is probably pretty obvious if you've been following me at all. Ahru has a lot of ships I could ramble about for an age but this is the one I'm rotating in my brain 24/7 these days. I love how they fit together, I love how they get to experience the world all fresh and new, free of their burdens, together. aughghghg anyway. (Holds up boombox blasting 'Francesca' by Hozier)

Ahru & Arshadaya: This is like, my sleeper ship. Like Thanahru it's kinda present in every Ahru verse, but more. They're platonic, they're romantic, they're inextricably linked in ways that should be concerning and even questionable but it works for them. Arsh wanted to meld with Ahru's soul ('to save Nyx') before he inevitably accepted her as herself instead of 'Azem's Shard' and swore that same loyalty and devotion to her that he did Nyx. To the extent that when she got chopped up by the Servants of Light he sacrificed a good portion of himself to restore her, only adding to the 'inextricably linked in concerning questionable ways'. As a result he's in like a magical coma that could last gods knows how long but he maintains a link with Ahru continuing to protect and watch over her even now. They've basically fused into one being but he sleeps on the sidelines because her happiness and continued existence is the most important thing to him. :''')

FAVORITE COLOR: Light Pinks, Red

CURRENTLY CONSUMING: Just had a brownie 😌

FIRST SHIP: Geez... I mean probably Sailor Moon/Tuxedo Mask. Hilariously I feel like I've been a self-shipper + ocxfandom shipper from a young age because I remember my little saiyan oc I shipped with Trunks way back when. 🤣

PLACE OF BIRTH: USA

CURRENT LOCATION: Nope. 😘 (Seconded)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

LAST MOVIE: Geez I can't remember... I honestly have such a hard time watching movies. I watched a few parts of 'When Harry Met Sally' when mom had it on T.V. a few days ago???

CURRENTLY WORKING ON:

I Will Share Your Road - Ahru x Deryk screens set about their journey around Eorzea post-Myths of the Realm

The Road Ahead - tentative name for a fic of the same scenario above. Mostly a lot of all over the place drabbles at the moment.

Miqomarch X'D I'm trying to get ahead a bit for when I'm away on vacation.

[name pending] original work about faeries and shit, inspired by the Elfhame series by Holly Black. Has been put grievously on the back burner because of XIV brainworms.

Tagging: @icehearts, @eorzeanflowers, @uldahstreetrat, @twelveswood (i know you but i'm tagging you anyway teehee) - no pressure though and if you've already done it please ignore me 😂

#thank you again for tagging me! :D #lays on floor like a starfish thinking about ship things now

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

I need some advice, please.

How should I handle this situation? I have an rp partner who I've been rping with for over a year now. Things were great for a while. They were responsive and we talked a lot ooc, plotted, rped together a lot. We were having a great time.

And then it feels like out of nowhere they backed away from me a lot. They started heavily investing in one muse who I don't rp with and have tried to rp with, but it didn't work out. Now all they do is focus on that one muse, essentially excluding me. Our threads and plots between all our muses get ignored, or it takes weeks to months to get a single response, where they are responding to everyone else without days or even hours. I have talked with them about this multiple times, only to be shrugged off or told they're busy or don't have time, but they always have time for everyone else except for me.

It hurts a lot. I don't know what to do. I feel like they are lying to me and telling me they enjoy my muse and our threads just to placate me, when their actions clearly show otherwise. I can't even tell you how many times I've cried over this, as silly as that might sound. I don't know what I did wrong; the only thing I can guess is that because my muse don't worship this one muse of theirs, I no longer matter.

How would you handle this situation? Do I just unfollow and block and move on? I thought we were friends. I'm very hurt by this.

Thank you.

First - do you mind if I offer you a hug, Anon? I'm so sorry you're hurting. I've been where you are and I know how much it hurts - especially the first time it happens. I want to start with this - while I don't know your partner, I can almost guarantee that they really do still care about your muse and the threads you share. I know it doesn't feel that way because they've moved on to something new. But speaking as someone who's had this happen before, it's not that your partner is lying to you, it's just that something else has grabbed their full attention.

Some people - for various reasons - don't have the capacity to focus on more than one or two things at a time and/or they hyper-focus on one very specific thing. They really can't help themselves. But that doesn't mean they don't still enjoy the stuff they're not currently focused on. Your partner just has another focus right now. They might go back to their old focus at some point, or they might not. In my personal experience, however, they usually don't. And if that's the case with your partner, then I'm very sorry.

I've had several partners like this, and I really just had to learn to 'go with the flow.' I mean - I also could've dropped them, but they were friends in addition to being my writing partners, so I tried my best to follow along with whatever their New Interest™ was, and if it was something I was able to write with them, then I did that to the best of my ability. Once or twice I even made new muses that better fit into my partner's new interests. And I had fun. Was it the same as writing the old RPs? No, not at all. But we created all new things together. I still miss the old things, but I also love the new things, too.

I know that's probably not exactly the answer you were looking for, Anon. But I really think this just depends on you. Is this partner a friend beyond RP? If so, blocking and moving on probably isn't the way to go. If you need to take a break from them, but don't want to burn bridges, you could ask for a hiatus from all of your threads together for awhile, and maybe blacklist them in the meantime? It never hurts to give your brain (and your emotions) a breather when you feel like you need them.

The TLDR version of my advice, I guess, is this - if you value this person as a friend, then don't do anything rash while your emotions are high. Don't do anything you might decide you want to undo later because some things can't be undone.

Do our followers have anything they'd like to add/suggest?

~ Mod MJ ~

#advice #anonymous #answered

[sillybruja]

keep reading if you wanna know about the craziest liar and well known spn roleplayer I've met on tumblr

I will never forget being on tumblr from 2011 - 2015 and being in the supernatural role playing community. It was both one of the best, and worst experiences of my entire life. I role played as Dean Winchester (and actually my page is still up, and I might start up again) and had a fairly large following.

during 2011, the SPN rp community just started growing so I, among a few of my mun friends, were like the "It girls and guys". It's so insane to think about it now, 10+ years later. There were people out there who did not roleplay that would follow me, and reblog my threads just because they appreciated by writing ^.^ it was so sweet. Back to my memory lol.

Anyways, I made friends with a rper on here who ran a Castiel account. We very obviously shipped Dean & Cas, and so did a lot of people. People even shipped us xD we had a ship name and everything. This person became my best friend in real time.

I really really thought I knew this person. He told me everything, every part of his life, every heart break from some dumb guy, every accident he's ever made, etc. I saw him as not only a best friend but a brother.

around 2013, my life took a turn -- things got more serious for me, and I fell off from roleplaying for a bit, and we lost contact. I remember he just eventually stopped responding to my messages. This wasn't okay for me because before he ghosted me, he told me he was really sick. I was always worried that the last text I sent him was the last I'd ever hear from him.

Eventually he did respond to me, and I remember him saying, "I'm fine, I might just be gone for a while. It's not your fault" and that was that. Mind you, I was 10+ years younger, and I really felt devastated.

Several months later, I logged back onto my roleplaying account. I remember being spammed with asks and messages about him. One of our mutuals sent me a message saying he had passed away a month prior. She showed me the go fund me that was started for him to cover his funeral expenses. My heart was shattered.

The next year was spent of thinking about him almost every day. I felt so sorry that things ended the way they did, and that he was gone. I honestly felt grief that entire year.

In 2015, I get this intuitive 'nudge' to check my tumblr again. This time when I log in, I see appreciation posts about him, and all of those feelings come back. I remember trying to get back into rping in honor of him, and I remember coming across an account that seemed awfully familiar.

This was another castiel account, almost identical in text, aesthetic, vocabulary, even same psds. I just knew it was him. I can't tell you how, I just did. I remember thinking I was crazy and that this was grief... but, unfortunately, I was right.

Eventually, I gathered the nerve to reach out to this account. I cannot remember the name they gave me. But I talked to them, and I sort of played detective lol.

I deeply knew it was him and felt like it was so wrong that he lied about everything, had everyone upset, and took HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS from people who donated for his funeral.

One day, I was just tired of being nice. I approached him about it all. Of course he denied it. I badgered him about it though, and I even told him that what he is doing is illegal, and that he owes it to people who are mourning a very much alive person.

I didn't stop until he came forward.

He said, "I'm sorry, I had to do this to be with my boyfriend" and my jaw was on the freaking floor.

I told him to come forward, or I will have to do something about this.

Of course, he did not. Instead, he deleted his account. I tried to make a claim against him, but it was never looked into.

I will never forget that.

and if he's still out there, I hope he actually understands the weight of his actions. and I hope justice gets served.

#erys ramblings #this was crazy #i really got traumatized from this #supernatural #spn #spn rp #supernatural roleplay #roleplay #rpg #roleplayer #roleplayers #roleplay blog #rp community #2012 rp #dean winchest #cas #castiel

[shimmerbeasts]

Who are the first 3 people the mun thinks about when asked for blog recommendations? (Vi)

Muse Speaks about the Mun||Accepting.

"Panda, Bli and Scotty", Vi said like a shot, "They are the first three Muns, Miss T would think about when it comes to recommending anybody. I am gonna start with explaining why Scotty first, simply because they are the outlier if we go by fandom." Vi pursed her lips and ruffled a hand through her magenta bangs.

"Scotty - or as their URL on Tumblr says @countlessrealities - has been one of Miss T's oldest roleplaying partners and buddies", Vi explained, "They have been rping together since Miss T's Good Omens' days, so that's at least a couple years by now. During that time, Miss T tried out many different fandoms and muses and Scotty was always by her side. For Miss T, that is a sign of a good friendship.

"On the rp related note, Miss T also just likes how Scotty writes. Even if she does not know much about Rick and Morty, she can appreciate the passion and creativity, Scotty puts into their work. Much like Miss T, Scotty is a storyteller and world builder. Those are traits, she really likes in a writer. And Scotty is very good at depicting the unique quirks - including speech patterns - in their characters. Plus Rick and Morty just create a very unique rping dynamic by being who they are. Sure, getting used to them takes a bit, but you gotta appreciate the nuances, Scotty pulls off."

"Miss T knows Bli, whom you will know as @jynxd, the shortest so her wanting to recommend her says a lot." Vi tsked in bemusement. "Like by Janna, they bonded quickly. Come to think of it: That ain't really a surprise. Miss T and Bli both are incredibly dark in their narrations and muses. They think scarily similar. They basically love to make stuff really bad for the muses in question, which sucks. At the same time, Miss T clearly enjoys bouncing ideas off with them. Bli was the first person to suggest some ideas for Zaun, which Miss T actually did not shut down."

She flexed her fingers and tested the puffer effect of her Atlast gauntlets. Vi admitted: "I can't blame her for it though. Miss T put a lot of work into the way her Zaun affects all of us. She became very protective over it due to this. So the fact that she allowed Bli to suggest things and found them fitting... Again, that just shows that Bli knows what Miss T is going for. Something, she deeply appreciates."

"Outside of that, Miss T also is in awe at Bli's writing. She loves how detailed and varied it is. She adores how layered each of Bli's characters is. My sister has grown ridiculously attached to Bli's Silco, much to my chagrin. I can't fault her for it though. After Miss T got ousted, she very much didn't have a proper Silco for my sister, so the fact that Bli began writing that two-faced asshole makes her very happy. Just as Miss T's Silco clearly has affections for Bli's Jinx. At least, Ekko has his head in the right spot. If he ain't high on Shimmer."

Vi's smile merged into a chuckle as she admitted: "Panda, whom you know as @ferinehuntress, share a history together and that shows a lot. They have been through some quite rough bullshit and they were each other's rocks through some really turbulent times. Those experiences glued them stronger together than most roleplay partners. I ain't exaggerating when I say that Panda is one of Miss T's best friends on this side and they are incredibly close for an online friendship."

Vi's eyes drifted into the distance as she recounted: "Miss T was originally drawn to Panda because of how well she wrote. Her writing style made Miss T really excited, even if back then, she didn't care much for Caitlyn. I am not sure who followed whom first, but Miss T actually allowed me to get to know a Caitlyn. I am not exaggerating when I say that without Panda and her Cupcake, I wouldn't even really be here. Sure, I may have been a muse, but I would have been not nearly as strong as I am nowadays. Plus, Panda got Miss T excited about shipping me and Cait. Which is pretty unusual as she is more a fan of toxic and dark ships."

"Panda's world-building is no small feat", Vi concluded, "They have some of the most creative lore and headcanons the Mun has ever seen. Their Piltover is very much what Miss T envisions nowadays whenever she thinks about Piltover. It ties into her version of Zaun far too well. That amazing world-building is backed up by characters, which are just as complex and nuanced and beautifully constructed. Miss T can talk with Panda about so many creative things and she never gets tired of it."

#ziggmuses #playground: meme #letter: ask #the only thought that kept me going was the thought of getting back to you: vi||in character #cat wrangler: out of character

[spicedrobot]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @bluedaddysgirl! Sorry this took so long. ;;

I'll tag: @withercrown @a-aristippus @lacertae-dreamscape @aevallare @loveoaths @kevystel @frogunderarock @wolveria @dreaminghour @bright-thorn @kitewithfish

And anyone else who wants an excuse to do this please tag me I'd love to read your answers!! 🥺💖💖💖

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

134.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

444,065

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I started my writing days in Overwatch and most of my fics are from that era, but most recently, I've written for Star Wars, Baldur's Gate 3 and Arcane.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

A New Era - First Jayvik fic I wrote, and somehow it's at the top of the jayvik ao3 tag by kudos even though it's mindrot I wrote between episode breaks. Sorry long form jayvik writers ;;

Lost Time - life-affirming jayvik sex after the s1 finale. I'm just now realizing that all my top kudos fics are jayvik LMAO

Opposites - jayvik fic where someone talks up Viktor at a party and Jayce gets jealous.

Arcane Ficlets - my randomly assorted Arcane stuff I wrote via tumblr asks. All jayvik too 😂

Warm Heart - Viktor has cold hands but Jayce knows just how to warm him up.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! But sometimes it takes me months to get back to people. Once the inbox number ticks up I get a little nervous ;; which only makes the problem worse!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend not to write anything that ends too angsty. I have one or two that have a sort of bad-end vibe. Usually I'll write an angsty ending then delete and rewrite. LOL

Maybe this silco/viktor fic: Back Down? Since Viktor knows he shouldn't be messing around with Silco but he's so drawn to him.

Runner up: one of my ramyatta fics Stargazing because it shows the difference between their past relationship and the present at the end, where they are no longer together. t _ t

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Encore, since I wrote it because Outer Wilds canon endings beat me up so badly. LOL

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Very rarely!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Almost always. Any kind, basically. LOL I love pining and unestablished relationship like crazy, and both characters just falling into sex with each other. Blow jobs, possessiveness, breeding kinks, ritualistic sex, size difference, voyeurism, smell stuff, sex pollen, outfits... a VERY wide range. 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I almost never write them. I think I have written a few fics that just takes characters and puts them into another game's setting, but that's about it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Most I had one of my ramyatta fics translated into chinese. I've also had my only symbrock fic made into a podfic.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I've done a fic with bluedaddysgirl that was Thrawn/Cad Bane, but mostly I collaborate with artists to do illustrations of my work. I did some RPing back in the day, but none of that's going to see the light of day LOL

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Probably genyatta? But honestly, I have so so many. Obimaul also has a special place in my heart.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My last year's nanofic. It was an AU where Bo-Katan never saved Obi-Wan from Mandalore, so he remained Maul's prisoner. It was going to be a what if where Maul realizes he doesn't know what to do with Obi-Wan now that he's finally exacted his revenge, and they would slowly fall in love while doing powerplays the whole time. LOL It was a bit weird because I had to write it so fast, so a lot of the fic was just Savage and Obi-Wan interacting, so it almost made it seem as if they would be the better pairing TBH. It just needs so much reworking and IDK if I have the power. It probably just needs an entire re-write.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel I'm very good at condensing ideas into short word counts. I also think my sex scene writing, specifically my dirty talk, is pretty good! That's one of those things that I can't stand to read if it's bad in fanfic, so I try to make what they say as in character as I can. 😳

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing anything longer holy shit. I'm really terrible at it because as soon as I have to deal with pacing it's a death sentence for my motivation. 💀💀💀

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It can be done well? But only if you are a fluent speaker. I personally don't do it because I'm an idiot who only knows one language, and I don't want to mess up the mood of writing by accidentally making an embarrassing gaff in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In my life? Probably Kingdom Hearts. On my ao3 account: Dragon Age: Inquisition.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Definitely Polite Company, my Obimaul reverse AU fic. It's the longest thing I've ever written and posted. SUCH a comfort fic to me, and it was a blast to work on. There's just something so fun about writing Jedi Maul that I still can't get over it. The ideas kept coming for that fic which almost never happens for me, and somehow it was fairly well received, which I'm just so ridiculously grateful for. I'm always surprised at how much Obimaul isn't a main pairing for Obi-Wan when they have such ridiculous chemistry. Not even 600 fics on all of ao3 for them💀💀💀 A crime!!

#en talks #long post #ask game