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estrxlar · 3 years

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The Ghost Of You

18 - I’ve Missed A Lot

This chapters songs:

Car; Porches

The Poetry Of August; Lamp

Homage; Mild High Club

- Y. L. Perspective

"What'd I miss?" I ask, running up to Kiyoko. My left shoe was barely holding onto my foot after I'd run so fast from the changing rooms to the gym.

For the past two practices, I'd had to skip to do a couple of recording with the band. But man—I missed the wrong days.

Her greys eyes grow wide as she shouts. "Y/n! There you are. I was wondering if you would show up to—" I quickly put a finger over her mouth.

"I don't want anybody knowing I'm late!" I whisper loudly. Once my other shoe was on, I straightened up my back, looking at the gym in front of me.

'Why are there so many random men here?'

"They've already noticed, Y/n. Just sit tight, I'll go tell the coach who you are before he kicks you out of e gym."

'Coach?!' I think, turning to question Kiyoko and her statement. But before I'm able to, she's already speeding to the side of an older, taller man.

It was only a day before our weekend training camp was next on our schedule. I didn't think too much about it. My only job was to clean up after my team and take care of them with Kiyoko. I was so caught up in writing new song lyrics that I had completely forgotten about Eclair and her presence, which was now a part of my day.

"Hi, Y/n! It's nice to see you again!" Her soft voice says from behind me as she comes to my side, looking at the floor in front of us. "The team missed you!"

I nod, smiling. 'Please, be quiet today.' I thought to myself as my eyes wavered towards Sugawara. He smiles at me, waving one of his hands, then putting it back down.

As for my relationship with him, it hadn't changed much. We were still staying silent about being together or not. I think what made us both have our doubts about being girlfriend and boyfriend was the idea that we would get too attached. Either way, that didn't change the fact that we already acted like a couple. The only difference was that we didn't have labels.

Kiyoko ran back to me in an instant with a scared expression on her face. "Uh...the coach wants to see you personally. He's right over there," she says, pointing to the man.

I gulp down the fear that was choking me and nod to Kiyoko, walking towards the man with my head down and my hands together. When I arrive at his side, I introduce myself as the manager. "My name is Y/n L/n, one of the managers of this club. My apologies for arriving so late, sir," I say, straightening myself again.

"Ah! Takeda had told me there were two managers. It's nice to meet you, I'm Ukai. For now, I'm nothing official. Your team supervisor is simply a persistent son of a bitch, so I had no choice but to come down and see what the fuss was all about." He explains himself. "So, it seems your team is a bunch of feisty young boys. Do you have any notes on them you wanna give me? I'm trying my best to get them into shape before that practice game they have after the training camp."

"Hm. I do have a couple of things I've been saving recently. My only big concern is how to get the little guy— Nishinoya— to become an official part of the team without another player." I point my pen to the second year as he stretches out his arms.

Ukai seemed to be one step ahead of me, for he raised his brows, pointing to yet another boy. But this one was nothing like Nishinoya. He was most likely the tallest on the team and had the features of a grown man. "Well, that issue seems to be fixed already!"

I purse my lips, embarrassed that I'd been so stupid as to miss so much. "I'm sorry, Mr. Ukai. I haven't attended practice ever since Tuesday, so I haven't been caught up on what's been going on," I say in a disappointed tone.

"That's alright. You just make sure to catch up with your friend, Kiyoko, and you should be all set. For now, just sit back and watch the practice game," he says. With that, he sends me off back to Kiyoko. I hadn't thought that he would be so nice to me after the look he gave me from afar. But I was glad that he'd let my absence slide this time.

Throughout the game, I wasn't allowed to talk to anybody other than the people on the bench, which was only a few of the boys I wasn't too comfortable having a conversation with. As for Kiyoko, Eclair wouldn't stop pestering her with facts about France and her appreciation from the team. Especially Sugawara.

But all wasn't too bad. In fact, this was the best game that I had ever attended. Not only was I able to see the skills of Nishinoya and his partner further, but Koshi was included. He was with a few of the older men and Noya, as well as Asahi, the man that was resistant to come to any of the previous practices.

There were many times when I wanted to scream and shout for the boys. Thankfully, I decided to be smart and not make a full out of myself. Instead, I sat tight, completely focused on Koshi. Was it a bad thing that I hadn't noticed his talents beforehand? I felt horrible that I hadn't been asking him about volleyball. The moment that he began to play, I was able to see just how passionate he was about volleyball. The gym floor was where he belonged, just in the way that I belonged with music.

Just like that, the first set had ended.

I spent no time gathering water bottles for the men, handing each of them a towel and bottle. Sadly, I wasn't able to reach him before Eclair did. It wasn't as if I could go against her actions. Koshi and I hid our feelings from the team, so it would be obvious if I stole him away for a second to give him compliments. I wanted nothing but to praise him for doing so well in the game.

After the boys return to the court, Kiyoko bumps my shoulder. "You know, I haven't seen Sugawara in such a good mood until recently. He's matured into a more enthusiastic guy. Do you think that has anything to do with you?"

"Maybe. It doesn't matter, though. I just want to see him do what he loves," my voice breaks in an instant as I put my hands together in front of my face, smiling at him as he looks back at me.

Though I had absolutely no clue who the extra grown men playing with our club were, Kiyoko and I still bid them a farewell before beginning to clean up with the rest of the team.

"Y/n! I wish we could have talked to you more today!" Nishinoya runs to my side, putting his hands onto my shoulders. The young man didn't seem to take the hint that I wasn't interested in him. Still, it was nice to be surrounded by a change of scenery. I was used to quiet, composed friends and family. "Asahi! You've gotta meet our new manager!"

The two of us look at the tall boy as he grows fearful. What did someone like him have to be scared of? It wasn't as if I would bite one of his fingers off. Hesitant to greet me, he rubs his neck, awkwardly smiling. "H-hi, I'm Asahi. It's nice to meet you."

"Mhm, you as well."

Am awkward silence overcomes us.

"Oh, come on! You call that a greeting?!" Tanaka intervenes, taking Asahi and I's hands and bringing them together. "Asahi, this is our totally awesome new manager, Y/n! She's a great girl and very fun.

Y/n, this is Asahi! The cry baby!"

"Hey! I'm no cry-baby," Asahi says, frowning.

I smile back, taking my hands back into my pockets.

"Erm, it's nice to have you back on the team, Asahi."

Suddenly, we all bring our attention to the temporary coach, who clapped his hands together.

"Great game today, everyone. Our main problem is receiving, so we'll be practicing that tomorrow, got it? After everyone has gotten their things together, please make sure to get lots of rest and arrive here tomorrow at 6:00 PM!"

Everybody nods, bowing lightly and running out to change into their regular school clothes. As for me, I decided to simply take my clothing in my bag and head home in my uniform. As did Sugawara.

I head out of the locker rooms and make my way to the usual spot we met up at after practice. There he was, looking up at the stars. He soon notices I walk towards him with absolute joy. "Why hello, Y/n."

"Hello, Koshi," I utter to him, smiling at his silly behavior. He wraps one of his arms around my back as always, beginning our walk towards home. "You were so good today! I haven't ever seen you play before. I wish I could have known sooner so I can suggest things to the team, like, 'Sugawara sure is a great player!' You know?"

"Well, now that you've seen me play, I think it's time I hear your band perform."

I'm surprised by Sugawara's words. Hear me perform? I could have sworn he'd already heard me and my friends perform a song. I tell him, "well then, you'll just have to wait till our competition. It's around next month. And if you'd like, you can bring Daichi and Kiyoko along. That Asahi kid too, I'd he's your friend."

"Can you imagine the number of requests you'd get from the first and second years if you told them you're in a band? They'd go crazy," he says. "But if it's next month, doesn't that mean you've got a lot of work to do? Are you sure you have enough time to be coming to volleyball practice?"

"That's why I need some help on finding an idea on what to write about! So far, I can't find a way to write anything." I slap my forehead in disappointment.

Sugawara lovingly pats my head. "Just forget about that for a second if it's bothering you, sweetie. Are you excited about this spring? The tournament is coming up as well. Have you talked to your friend Oikawa about it?"

"Koshi, he isn't my friend! And no... we haven't talked ever since the practice game. Should I ask him to say what he wants before I block him for good?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. Honestly, I've never had anybody be very persistent to apologize after something so mean."

"Hm. It's okay. I'm excited to be spending some time with you~" I lean into him, making him stumble slightly. "I know it's weird to say, but I'm proud that you decided to play today. I know you have potential that you don't use and it hurts to see you bottle up your talent that way."

Sugawara looks at me with the most gentle expression he'd ever shown the earth. "I—I try. Thank you. I'm glad I could show you that I'm not a completely useless player," he chuckles. "Honestly, I don't think I'm gonna be playing on the court this year."

I nudge him hard. "Sugawara! Don't say things like that. You're speaking words into existence. Try to have as much confidence as possible and I'm sure that our...new coach...will let you play!"

"Hm, maybe."

By the time we had arrived at my house, the clock struck 8:00 PM. I hadn't expected to be staying out so late. Since there was a surprise practice game, I had no choice.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow," I say, unlocking my front door, and stepping inside the house. As always, it was quiet and felt empty. I turn to smile at Koshi one last time before closing the door, but he stops me with a rug at the wrist. "What is it?"

"Uhm...since it's Friday, do you just wanna sleepover at my place? That way we can get ready together tomorrow." His skin turned peachy as he asked.

I was yet to visit his house. It was always mine that we'd hang out at, so I was very caught off guard by his request. Come to think of it, I didn't know much about his family or lifestyle when it came to being home. All I knew was that his mother left his family with a cloud over their heads. And so, I laugh awkwardly, "ha, are you sure it's okay with your dad? I wouldn't want to be intruding or anything."

Sugawara quickly shuts down my reply, saying, "of course not. My little brother has people over all the time. But if you don't want to, that's okay."

I felt nothing but happy that he had invited me over, but was it really a good idea? After what he described his father as I was scared he would think of me as a burden. Although, I didn't want to pass my chance to meet his family. And so, I nod slightly.

"Okay, yeah! But I have to get some things together. Do you wanna come inside real quick?" My excitement is heard through my tone. I open the door wide for him to enter the house. He does so, happy that I had said yes.

"Come on in!"

Not in a million years did I ever expect Mr. Sugawara to be such a welcoming man. So tall, too.

"I've just gotten back from work, so excuse my strange appearance," he says to me as Koshi and I walk into the house. The man was the spinning image of his son: silver hair, hazel eyes, and thin yet strong build. But no beauty mark. He wore black blazer pants and a button-up white collared shirt, telling me he was a sophisticated man.

I bow. "Thank you for having me, Mr. Sugawara," I say to him.

"It's no issue. Your brother and I were just finishing making yakitori," he stated, before rushing back to what I assumed was the kitchen. After Koshi closed the door behind us and we took our shoes off, he led me there.

He and his other son were setting up the dining table. The boy was surprisingly shorter than Koshi, had pale brown hair instead of silver, and matched beauty marks with him. 'His mother must have been a brunette', I thought to myself as he ran off to help his father and brother.

Not soon after did the younger Sugawara look my way in the surprise of my presence. "Uhm—hi!" He says. The voice that came out of him was just as raspy as Koshi's, but a bit more aggressive and whiny.

'So...his mom must have had brown hair, was a short woman, had a raspy voice, AND gave her sons the beauty mark..' I was very quick to build an image of what I imagined his mother to look like. If only I'd be able to meet her in person.

"Hello. Could I help you guys with anything? I'd love to." My hands rub together like clay, sweaty and clammy. I didn't realize how nervous I was to be around so many men at once.

"No need, I'm just about done!" Mr. Sugawara placed a very big plate of skewers in the middle of the table. "Why don't you sit down with Isao and Koshi."

I do as told and make my way behind the kitchen and into the dining room, where a fair wooden table and a few zaisu chairs surrounded it.

The younger boy decides to sit across from Koshi and me, snaking eyes at me every few seconds. I think not much of it. It must have been strange to have a random girl join him and his family for dinner. Nonetheless, he doesn't think twice to begin his pattern of questions. "So, are you Koshi's girlfriend?" He bluntly asks with a grin on his face as the mentioned man scolds him.

"Isao! It isn't polite to ask people questions without introducing yourself first," He says as his dad continues to pour cups of water in the kitchen, pretending not to hear much of the conversation.

I feel my cheeks heat up immediately. How could I have explained that we were in love for quite some time but haven't been tied down yet? I clear my throat, looking at Koshi, who is shutting his eyes in embarrassment.

"Oh! Well, I'm Isao Sugawara. It's a pleasure to meet you...Y/n is it?"

I'm utterly surprised by his question. From what it looked like, Koshi had already told his brother about me. It was flattering yet terrifying. "Yes. It's nice to meet you as well." I try my best not to sound grim, but it's hard when you're stuck in such an uncomfortable situation.

"I'm guessing you're the one he's been hanging out with so much! You're so pretty! Come to think of it, I don't think Koshi has ever had a girl over." The boy chuckles.

'I thought he had many girls wrapped around his finger.'

Ending the most heart-racing conversation I'd ever experienced, Mr. Sugawara comes back with a few drinks in hand. "Well then, let's get to eating!" He exclaims, giving everyone their glass of water before sitting down next to his youngest son.

Each of us grab a skewer and began munching on the delicious chicken yakitori. Every once in a while I'd look up at the family, who didn't seem to be by the idea someone out of their comfort zone was there. As for Koshi, he kept asking if everything was alright for me and smiling. The sweet guy had no clue how shaken I felt.

"So then, tell us about your friend, Koshi." His father gulps down the last bite of his yakitori to drink a sip of his water.

The boy blinks a few times. "Uh—well, Y/n and I used to be friends during our first year but separated until this year. We've really renewed our relationship!" He laughs anxiously, downing his glass of water after his brief explanation.

"So, do you like to play volleyball too?" Isao interjects.

"Uhm, not exactly. I'm just one of the managers of the volleyball club. I've only been there for two weeks," I reply.

"What do you like to do? You seem like a sophisticated girl!"

Koshi snatches the chance to speak about me. "Y/n is a musician! She plays guitar and is a vocalist for this band she's in. She's even going to sign with a big label once she graduates!"

"Oh, cool!" Isao slams his hands on a table with a bright smile spread across his face. "I've always wanted to meet a musician! Koshi is so lucky to have a cool girlfriend like you, Ms. Y/n!"

He snaps at his little brother again for calling me his girlfriend, nervous now that his father was listening in this time. But Mr. Sugawara simply chuckles. "How fun, Y/n. So, I see you have some big plans! What kind of music do you and your band play?"

'Jesus, I did NOT expect that.'

"Mostly rock, sir. We're more of a punk band than anything," I say, folding my hands in my lap. Though the yakitori was delicious, I wasn't Anel to take in another bite. "May I do you all a favor as to wash the dishes? I appreciate you having me over so suddenly."

I stand up from the zaisu, picking up both my plate and Koshi's. Isao and his father also hand me theirs, thanking me for my kindness. "Do what you'd like! Thank you for joining us."

MF PLS VOTE THE RATIOS ARE SO SAD

IS MY WRITING THAT BAD?

also ily pls take care of yourself <3

- estrxlar

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