#i did my dogs walk and came back to go lie down and my walls are fucking SHAKING

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

Black Widow

Pairing: Florence Pugh × Fem!Reader

Summary: Cooking With Flo is back and you make an accidental cameo that get the entire world to know about your relationship with Florence

Disclaimer: English is not my first language

MASTERLIST

Florence took a step away from her phone to make sure it was recording the way it should, her eyes studying the screen as a smile slowly formed on her lips. It took just a second for the comments to start showing up on the screen fast enough that she barely had time to read one before it disappeared to show other ones. She stayed quiet for a few more seconds to allow more people to start watching the live on her Instagram before she actually started talking.

“Sup, bitches? Here we are with another Cooking With Flo,” she said the famous words she always used to start her lives. She opened her arms as if to show the kitchen behind her and let out her raspy laugh. “Did you guys miss me? It's been a while, I know, but I'm back and this time we're making lasagna.”

For the last five months, she had done none of the livestreams cooking in her kitchen mostly because the space was a mess. The room was being renewed and, on top of that, she barely had time to do anything other than work and make sure people were painting the walls with the right color. But now she finally had time again, so that’s how she ended up standing in the middle of her kitchen on a random Saturday night.

“It's very simple, but it was a requested dish for tonight, so that’s what we're doing,” Florence kept talking, leaning back against the counter with her elbows to read some of the comments the fans were making. She saw a few questions, dozens of hearts, and some country flags, but her eyes quickly picked someone asking if there would be any guests tonight. “No, it’s only me cooking tonight, but I'm not alone.” Florence looked around and easily spotted her dog lying down a few feet from where she was standing. She leaned down to snap her fingers at him, which made him get up and walk towards her while wiggling his tail. Chuckling, Florence picked him up with some effort because he certainly wasn’t a small dog. “Billy's here! Come on, Billy, tell people hi.” The only reaction the dog gave was a low bark before he tried to lick her face. Florence moved away the best she could laughing at the same time. “Oh, God, you're getting too heavy for me to lift you, boy,” she complained and then put the dog back on the floor, where he wasted no time walking away to lie down one more time. Florence put her hands on her waist and smiled widely. “Jeez, guys. Well, let me wash my hands and we can get started.”

Florence had just turned around to go to the sink behind her when she heard a scream piercing through the house.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

The chain reaction was instant. Forgetting about anything else, Florence turned on her feet while yelling back: “Holy fuck! Babe?!”

The live kept going on her phone but the people watching could just glance at her wide eyes and surprised expression before she ran from the frame, the phone completely forgotten. They couldn’t see her anymore, but she didn’t wander far away. Just as she was about to get out of the kitchen and run to where she heard the scream coming from, someone came running from the hallway and almost bumped into her, making her stop.

“Florence!” You screamed again, although this time you were already pressed against her.

Florence instantly put her arms around you while her eyes tried to find the reason why you were yelling. She was trying to find a bruise, a cut, or blood of any type, but there was nothing on you that caught her eyes besides the sheer panic clear in your face. “What is it?!” She asked, though she was having a hard time even keeping standing since you were pushing against her as if you were running away from something. “Babe?!”

You managed to slip past her and go further into the kitchen all while using your hands to keep grabbing Florence’s shoulders as if she was the only thing keeping you safe. “Oh, my God! There's a monster inside the bathroom!”

Upon hearing that, Florence couldn’t help but blink in surprise, tilting her head to the side and trying to understand what you meant by that. “A what?”

It was her sudden change in humor that made you look at Florence with even more urgency. She was too calm, she clearly didn’t understand how grave that was. “It almost killed me!”

Your tone had the opposite effect, though. Florence kept looking at you for a few more seconds before her signature breathless smile cut the silence that had formed between you two. Her shoulders dropped, as did her hands to your waist, and she let her head hang for a moment to bask in the relief she felt for realizing there was no imminent danger as she initially thought there was. If it was anything as bad as you were making it sound, you certainly wouldn’t be acting that dramatically.

Finally, she shook her head and looked up at you again with a smile. “I'm pretty sure there's not a monster inside our bathroom. Haven't you watched Scooby Doo?” Florence joked.

It made you whine, however, because you couldn’t believe she couldn’t see the danger you were in. “Florence,” you complained.

Florence must have noticed you were getting mad for her lack of concern because she just chuckled again and approached you to kiss your cheek. “Okay, babe, I'm going to take a look,” she conceded.

Now more relaxed and with a pout, you nodded and let go of Florence’s shoulders so she could walk away from you. “Take care!” You yelled to her retreating form.

Florence kept walking until she reached the bathroom in the hallway. The door was open and the light was still on, but she poked her head inside first. She saw nothing out of the ordinary, so she decided to ask you again, keeping her voice loud and clear for you to hear her from the kitchen. "Again, I don’t think-” Florence interrupted herself out of a sudden when her eyes finally spotted the thing that had disturbed you. “Oh,” she breathed out.

Inside the kitchen, you were biting on the pad of your thumb as you waited for her. “Do you see it? It's right there by the sink!”

Florence smiled to herself while she saw the little spider weaving her web down peacefully as if there was nothing wrong in the world. “Yeah, I see it,” she replied with amusement clear in her voice.

“Take care!” You exclaimed again, but that was what finally caught the attention of the other occupant of the house. Billy, now alert because of the commotion, got up with his ears pointing up and started to go after his owner to see what was going on, but you quickly leaned down to scoop him from the floor. “Oh, my God, Billy, don't go there!”

“Can you bring me a bowl?” Florence asked.

“What for?” You frowned and moved the big dog a bit when your arms started to get tired. Maybe you should start going to the gym, after all.

Florence’s reply came quickly. “So I can take this little guy outside.”

You gasped in shock. “You wanna touch it?!”

The other woman laughed again. “No, that's what the bowl is for!” You rolled your eyes fondly at her teasing. “Come on, babe.”

You bit your bottom lip and looked around. There were several bowls around the counters that she had put there to put the ingredients while she cooked, but there was no way you would go back to that bathroom again when the life-threatening monster was still there. “I can't get any closer than this.”

“That's okay, I will go get it,” Florence soothed your nerves and, a second later, you heard her coming back to the kitchen.

You couldn’t keep Billy on your lap for longer so you put him down gently, only to have him running to meet Florence, who was just entering the room again. Florence was smiling, although she wasn’t making fun of you - at least yet - and she walked towards you to peck your cheek. It seemed like it was just a gesture to try to hide her smile, but you weren’t going to complain about it.

She had just turned to grab one of the bowls when her eyes caught her cell phone on top of the counter and she immediately stopped in her tracks as her heart dropped to the floor. “Oh.”

You jumped away from the counter like it was catching fire. “What?! There's another one here?!”

Florence’s gaze moved to you for a brief moment though she couldn’t stop looking at the millions of comments and emojis appearing on her screen for too long. “Uh, no.”

You followed her eyes and it was your turn to feel the dread inside. In your panicked state, you forgot Florence was doing a live. You hadn’t just interrupted it, you had walked on it. Literally. You could see yourself standing in the middle of the recording, Florence just a few steps to the side looking like a deer caught in headlights as her eyes kept moving from her phone to you.

People didn’t even know you existed and there you were now. People didn’t know Florence Pugh had a girlfriend. People didn’t know she was only making lasagna tonight because you told her that’s what you were craving.

“Shit,” you mumbled. “Oh, shit. I forgot you were going live.” You took a step back and put your hands on your face to hide the deep blush that took over your cheeks. “Oh, no.”

Noticing you were a step away from going on a full-on panic attack, Florence approached you and gently pulled you closer to her body. She tilted her head to the side to give you the perfect spot to hide your face in the crook of her neck and you took full advantage of that. There was no point in trying to hide now that the cat was out of the bag. People had seen you already, they certainly heard Florence calling you “babe” and saw her kissing your cheek.

You silently reached the same decision in the few seconds you stayed in each other’s embrace. When Florence pulled away, she held your face between her hands and offered you a smile that put you at ease instantly. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry, okay?” She winked at you. “I will be right back, let me just take out the monster for you.”

Florence kissed your forehead before grabbing a bowl and walking back to the bathroom. You thought about stepping away from the camera, maybe going back to hide in your shared room as you usually did when Florence was making content when you were around, but you barely had the time to think about where to go before your girlfriend was back in the kitchen.

“I'm back, folks.” she declared to her phone while walking to put the bowl inside the sink since she couldn’t use it anymore. After that, Florence turned back to face the camera and leaned against the counter with both hands, smiling. “It wasn’t a monster, it was just a little spider,” Florence told to the people watching the live.

Standing beside her, all you could do was mumble: “It was a monster.”

Your reaction dragged another laugh from Florence - the laugh that you loved so much, deep and husky, and that made her nose scrunch in that adorable way that always made you want to kiss her. “Thank God you're dating Black Widow herself, huh?” She nudged you with her shoulder, clearly teasing you.

Affected by her smile and her expressive eyes, you easily forgot there were literally millions of people watching you two at that moment. “I don't think that would be a reason to brag considering you would kill me in the end,” you replied, amused. “Besides, I'm not dating Scarlett.”

Her gasp was so loud that even Billy barked from where he was sitting staring up at you two. “Hey, I just saved you from a terrible monster!” Florence complained, although it was obvious she wasn’t serious. “Show me some love.”

You rolled your eyes again, but the smile on your face couldn’t be ignored. “You're right.” You nodded and leaned over to kiss the tip of her nose. “Thank you, my darling savior.”

Her nose scrunched again and a low chuckle left her lips before she pulled away with a more somber expression. She looked at you as if she was trying to hold a silent conversation and, gladly, you understood what she was asking without saying a word. You only nodded and braced yourself for what was about to come.

Florence returned her attention to her phone and her smile became a more practical one. “Well, I think you guys are a little confused. That's not how I planned for you guys to find out, but that's okay. We're just going to recalculate,” she chuckled politely. “In case you hadn’t realized it since this shenanigans started, this is my girlfriend.” Florence placed her arm around your waist, pulling you closer and smiling contently with her eyes glued on you. It seemed like you couldn’t look away from each other for a while, but she eventually returned her attention to the several comments popping on her screen. “Yes, I kept it a secret until now. And yes, I was intending to keep it under the rug for a while longer, but mostly because I did not want you scaring her away,” she joked since you both knew the reason why your relationship was a secret was because you were both trying to protect your privacy and your love from prying eyes. “She was the one that said she was feeling like eating lasagna tonight, actually,” Florence added.

You nodded, feeling more relaxed to be standing there now. “She got her grandma's recipe, I couldn't resist.”

“Since the cat is out of the bag…” She read a few comments, deciding to answer them as she went. “We've been dating for a while, yes. This is our kitchen, actually.” Florence pointed to something behind her. “Well, it’s still coming together. We still want to make some changes,” she relented since you both know none of you were satisfied with the place the fridge was placed. “Uh, she’s not an actress, if that’s what you want to know, another reason why we didn't say anything about us.” Florence kept from telling her fans what you actually do with your life, trying to maintain any sense of privacy still. “Yes, she knows my family. Guys, I will answer two more questions before we move on. Now that I saved her life and our bathroom, I believe Y/N wanted to take a shower before dinner,” she joked.

You laughed and agreed with several nods, also licking your lips to add to the dramatization. Your attention ended up going to one of the comments that showed up and you decided to answer it. “Billy ran to me at the dog park, that’s how we met,” you explained shyly.

Florence seemed happy that you spoke up, though, and she proved that by leaning closer to kiss your cheek for the third time. She then moved on to pick the last comment she was going to reply to. “No, she’s not going to feature in the next Cooking With Flo unless she wants to. Or unless there’s another teeny tiny spider forcing her to run to me.” She poked your side at the exact spot that she knew would get you squirming away and that’s what happened, of course.

“It wasn’t small,” you argued as your body moved away from her. “I'll go so you can keep filming.” You turned around to leave, but changed your mind last minute, choosing to say: “I'm sorry to crash in.”

“Don't need to apologize, babe,” Florence assured you firmly and, before you knew what was going on, she pulled you in for a quick kiss. “I love you, okay?” She whispered against your lips, making sure no one else could hear it.

“I love you more,” you replied gladly in the same tone before walking away. “See you once you get my food ready!”

Florence laughed while she watched you disappear from her sight and then looked back at her phone to clap her hands once and say: “Well, so let's get started!”

#florence pugh x reader #florence pugh #florence pugh x you #celebrity x reader #marvel #yelena belova #black widow #fanfic #creative writing #my writing #drabble #fluff

[vnards]

Ghost A/B/O is Back! Pt.6

I feel like prey again. Flinching at the multiple people in and out of my room. Everything’s too loud. So many people asking the same questions, “Are you okay?” “What happened?” “Did he touch you?” “Did you-“

“Hey, Darling,”

Jacob, after catching wind of the commotion, came to sit in the empty seat next to my bed. “How’re you holding up?”

I sigh. There wasn’t a different answer I could conjure up this time. So I didn’t, “I’m fine.”

There was a silence between us. A lie.

“Look,” Jacob reaches out to grab my hand. I resist trying to pull away, “That alpha won’t bother you again.” The beta looks around us, checking for any listeners before he drops his voice to a whisper, “I can get you out of here.”

I can go back home?

A burst of nervous excitement began to build a flicker of hope in me. A dangerous thing. “Really?”

Jacob chuckled, “Of course. Did you think we’d just keep you here forever?”

I suppose he has a point.

“I just need you to do one thing for me.” His tone raises the hairs on the back of my neck, “Tell them that that alpha touched you.”

I slipped my hand from his, absorbing his serious expression of what he’s asking of me. “But…that didn’t happen.” Another statement I’ve given over and over. “He didn’t touch me.”

There was a pitying smile as he looked at me. As if I was clueless, “Are you sure? You were asleep, weren’t you?”

Something’s wrong.

There was an alarm going off in my head. I get to go home, but only if I ruin the alpha that saved me? “Where’s Ghost?” Jacob must have noticed the shift and saw the questioning in my eyes. He gave another disarming smile, releasing his neutral scent.

“Of course, I know it’s been a long night. I’ll clear out the room so you can get some rest.” The sergeant raised from his seat and patted my shoulder comfortingly. I watched him retreat, starting to talk to the security guards and other staff in the room, herding them out of the room in a gentle suggestion.

Just as the room was almost empty, another visitor arrived. Captain Price.

“Captain, Vic needs to get some rest.” Jacob insisted.

“I know. I won’t be long.” Having been thoroughly dismissed, Jacob and the rest of the staff left the room. The door was not clicked closed, left slightly ajar. Price made sure to approach me at a steady pace and he stayed a respectful distance across the room. “I’ve heard you’ve had a long night,” He chuckled, trying to bring a lightness to the situation. I tried to give a polite smile, but it falls flat. The captain rubs his face, the tiredness becoming apparent the longer you examine him. The tightness in his shoulders. The consistent tapping of his foot. The redness in his eyes. The man hasn’t been back from a mission for 12 hours and he’s been dragged from his rest.

“I’ve known Ghost for a long time.” He begins, leaning against the wall, arms crossed and recounting memories, “He’s been through hell and back twice over. Strong sonofabitch he is.”

I can’t help but interrupt, tired of being treated so softly, “Why are you telling me this?”

It looks as if Price doesn’t know how to answer the question at first, opening his mouth for the words to come and nothing comes out but a sigh. “Simon is  a lot of things. But he is loyal like a dog. One I trust with my life. And it seems,” another sigh as Price rubs his eyes for the nth time, “That same loyalty has extended to you.”

Loyal. Protector. Safety.

The words catch me off guard and send a chill down my back. “Where’s Ghost?”

Price tilts his head, “He’s outside.”

“I want to see him.”

The captain hums and moves to open the door, letting in a large shadowy figure with a black face mask on and a muzzle. It’s the first time I get to see the top of the masked alpha’s face. His eyes crystal blue and short hair cropped blond. A scar peeking out from the mask going up his face. The handcuffs clink softly as he walks in timidly, trying to make his frame as small as possible. As if he wasn’t the strong alpha I’ve seen him to be. I reach my hand out to him and he nearly stumbles coming to my bedside.

A warmth envelops me as he holds my hand. A calm balm soothes everything, my mind going blank for the first time in hours. His thumb begins to caress the back of my hand, “You were having a bad dream.” He begins to explain, “I just wanted to help calm you down. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know.” When I saw Ghost, I knew I was just having a bad dream, nightmares to haunt me. But that was after everyone came rushing in, a whirlwind of commotion as I watched my alpha be violently subdued. I take in the bruise under his eye. I know it looks worse than it is, but I can’t help but checking on it, making sure he doesn’t need any more medical attention, “How’s your head?”

A quiet hum came from Ghost, almost like a chuckle. “It’s fine.”

I grumble under my breath, “It’s not fine. They kicked you.” I  outline the bruise with my thumb. Simon preens under my attention.

Another, more confident chuckle, this time, “I’ve done a lot worse than just get kicked, baby girl.” I feel my cheeks get warm, the name holding a softness I haven’t experienced in a long time. And hearing it coming from Ghost makes it sound more like a promise than anything else.

masterlist ->

#cod omegaverse #a/b/o #ghost cod #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #simon ghost riley #cod mw2

[jostystyles]

i can still see it all | qh

a/n: this is my entry for @wyattjohnston summer fic exchange! @wildrangers this is for you love! i hope you love it <3 im so sorry it took me forever, i had covid and other life happenings that set me back. i picked daylight from the list of songs you gave me, and this was born. enjoy love 🩵

They say when you love someone, you’ll know. There will be a moment of realization, a sort of ‘ah’ moment. Quinn has never really had that. Sure, he’s dated girls and thrown out the L word a few times, but he wasn’t really sure he meant it. Obviously, he loves his mom, dad, and brothers. Love, to him, was all black and white. It was all good or all bad. But sometimes, when you’ve been asleep so long in a 20 year dark night, the scream of color can come along and change your life for the better. (Y/N) came into his life in the most obscure way possible. He met her at the bar 5 minutes after he was dumped by his ex. After she laughed in his face and told him she was, she bought him a drink. After that, he doesn’t know when or even how it happened. Suddenly she was in his life everyday, and his friends became hers. Jack and Luke took to her instantly, and his mom liked having another girl to talk to. The one thing he did know was that he fell in love with her. He was starting to understand that love wasn’t quite black and white, but it could be golden. She was his muse, the one thing that kept him going when he felt like stopping. Even if she didn’t know it.

Quinn was always working. It was no surprise, being an NHL star. Between games, practice, charity events, and just existing. It was exhausting sometimes. He loved it, and wouldn’t change it for the world, but sometimes he just needed a break. When summer first hit and he was still in Vancouver, sometimes he wouldn’t leave his apartment for days. He had to take a break, just to recharge his social battery. (Y/N) knew this. Which is why she came over to make sure he made an effort to eat and have some sort of human interaction.

Unlocking the door with bags in hand, (Y/N) stumbled into his apartment. Brock was away on vacation, so Quinn graciously offered to watch Milo and Coolie for a few days. She heard little footsteps running towards her and looked down to see a dog wagging its tail and smiling up at her. “Oh Milo,” She sighed. “What are we going to do with him?” She finished, glancing around the apartment. It was messy, she wouldn't lie. Quinn was a messy person even if he didn't seem like it. Figuring he was napping as he didn’t answer her texts, she began to clean up his kitchen a bit. As she scrubbed the counters of the residue from last night’s dinner, she glanced at the wall of photos diagonal to her point of view. The first one that caught her eye was a family photo from Quinn’s draft day, his crooked smile reflected on the faces of his family members as they surrounded him in his newly adorned Canucks jersey. To the right of that one, was one she took of him, Brock, and Petey at a family skate event a few years back. The last one to catch her eye was her favorite. It was of her and Quinn, taken last summer at the lake in Michigan. She was on his back, both their faces flushed with sun and noses scrunched up in laughter. To an outsider, they could easily be mistaken for a couple.

As she finished cleaning up, (Y/N) began to walk down the hallway, dog in tow and a bag of takeout in her hands. “Knock knock, I’m coming in whether you like it or not.” She exclaimed in a sing-song tone once she reached his room. She couldn’t see it, but Quinn smiled. He loved the sound of her voice.

“I knew you’d show up sooner or later.” He answered, standing up from his bed and grabbing a shirt from the floor.

“Well, I have to make sure you keep yourself alive, don’t I?” (Y/N) giggled. She looked as beautiful as she always did, her sweater falling off her shoulders and her ripped jean shorts hugging her curves in just the right way. Two long french braids fell just past her shoulders. Her tan sandals scraped gently across the floor. She didn't like to wear heels. “They make me feel like a skyscraper Quinn, I’m too damn tall for them.” She always says. Quinn didn't realize he was staring until she finally said something.

“Earth to Quinton. Hello?” She called to him, waving her hands in front of his face. “I’m sorry what, I keep getting lost in you.” Did I just say that out loud? Shit. He thought to himself.

“What?” (Y/N) replied, blushing.

“Nothing. Just forget I said anything.” Quinn said, rushing out of the room into the kitchen.

“Wait! Don’t lie to me Quinn, what did you mean when you said that?” she said, following him.

She wasn’t sure of what she heard when he said it. It gave her a sense of false hope when he said it. Sometimes she wanted to scream out how much she loved him, but was afraid he didn’t feel the way she did. This was one of those times where she thought it to be true that maybe, just maybe, he loved her back. If she was honest, she loved him from the moment she met him. He was an idiot, but a lovable one. She never understood how anyone could stand to break his heart, even on the night they first met. Love, to her, was something that she once believed to be burning red. It ignites a fire in your heart, body, and soul, and burns for that one person. When she met Quinn, she wanted him to be that person more than anything. As they grew closer, she realized he was. But the love she held for him wasn’t the one she always dreamed of. It was different. It shone a bright golden hue, and encapsulated everything about him. (Y/N) was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of Quinn’s voice.

“Can we please just forget that I said anything, (Y/N), please?” Quinn said, turning around to look at her. He began to walk away when she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her. Looking up at him, she said softly, “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking. You look at me like I’m the only other person on this earth. Don’t you realize that I look at you the same way too?” Quinn was processing what she just said to him, his heart beating a mile a minute. He glanced at their hands intertwined at the side. Neither of them let go. Finally he gained the courage to say something back.

Looking into her eyes, he confessed to her. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death. No, scratch that, I know I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you ever since the day I met you. I don’t want to look at anything else now that I saw you.” She didn’t say anything back. She wrapped her free hand around his neck and pulled his face down to her height and kissed him. It was exactly the way they both pictured it would be like. They kissed lasted for what seemed like an eternity, until they finally broke apart.

Their heads were pressed against each other, just looking into each other's eyes. (Y/N) was the first one to speak. “I’m yours.” That was all she needed to say for Quinn to know that she loved him too. And while he was sure of it, there was a part of him that hesitated.

“Are you sure about this? Like, are you sure about me?” He wondered aloud.

(Y/N) stared at him, confused. “I just confessed my love for you in the cheesiest and most embarrassing way possible and you’re asking me if I’m sure? Quinn, I know you’re not that dumb.”

Quinn laughed. “No, it’s just like, I know you love me. And I love you too, but like, I don’t want to fuck this up. I’m not really good at this kind of stuff” he confessed, not making eye contact with her out of embarrassment.

(Y/N) put her finger under his chin and pushed it up. “Hey, look at me. It’s me you’re talking to. You don’t have to try with me. Just being the way you are is enough. Love is weird. But the best part is when you get to love your best friend. And that’s us. You’ve just got to step into the daylight, you know? Let it all go. We can figure the rest out on our own. Just let it go.”

Quinn kissed her again. As he was getting older, he wanted to be defined by the things he loved. And he loved (Y/N). She’s his daylight, afterall.

tagging: @2manytabsopen @lam-ila @laurenairay @comphy-and-cozy @comphyjost @smileysvech @tinyhockey @prettytoxicrevolver @hotanddistraught

#emmie writes #quinn hughes #quinn hughes fic #summer fic exchange 2k23 #summer fic exchange 2023 #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #jack hughes #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine

[maxverstappensflatbrim]

Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [45]

chapter forty-five, act six: be my mistake

masterlist

December 25th 2017

Sniffling and rubbing her nose with the back of her wrist she pulls herself to stand, still clutching the letter in her left hand she rubs her eyes and makes her way to the door. She pulls her familiar red zip up tighter around herself, covering up the AM shirt she wears as her hand meets the door knob.

The breath is knocked right out of her as she steps back and stars out the front door.

“Hey…”

She doesn’t say anything. Just closes her mouth and swallows the lump rising in her throat.

His eyes cast down to her hand and he nods his head towards the crumpled paper, “You read the letter?”

“I just finished it.”

Matty smiles weakly as he looks at her, “And?”

“And?” She repeats the word right back to him in the same tone.

She can’t stop staring at him. It’s him, it’s really him, it’s her Matty. He looks so much more healthy now. His face has colour again, it’s bitten red from the cold and he’s hiding in his long coat to try and fight off the air. His hair has grown back, she’d seen a photo of him online a few days after he got out. He’d shaved his head. But it’s back a curly mess on top of his head now.

“And,” He says slowly, hands pushing deeper into his pockets, “What did you think?”

“You were right about one thing.” She tells him and he raises one brow, “You’re a dickhead.”

He nods and looks down at his feet as he closes his eyes. Allen nudges at Tommie’s hand, the one still clutching the letter and she looks down at him. 

It’s as if he’s asking her if he can see his owner. Knowing the pain she has been in and that Matty is the one who caused it.

Allen’s ears are down and his tail is between his legs as he looks up at her, she smiles softly causing his tail to wag and then she nods.

As soon as he has her approval he jumps at Matty, his ears perked as he slobbers all over him and almost knocks him to the ground.

“Hey, bud, I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Do you wanna come in?”

He follows her in, hangs his coat on the rack, lines his shoes up against the wall and then lets her lead him to the living room.

His hand fiddles in his pocket for a few moments before he brings out a wrapped gift, “I uh-” He pauses and just slowly holds his hand out, “Merry Christmas-”

“Matt-”

“Please.”

She nods and takes it from him, “Wait,” He reaches out and clasps both of his hands around hers. She freezes, “Don’t open it yet.”

She nods, voice quiet, “Okay…”

Her eyes glance down and he lets go quickly. She realises her mistake and tries to reach out for him but he turns away.

“How-How have you been?” She asks him.

He nods and pushes his hands further into the pockets of his trousers, “Good.”

It’s a lie. They both know it.

“Do you want a drink? Something to-” She curses and then runs into the kitchen, he follows her quickly pursing his lips to try not to laugh when she brings out the burnt pizza.

She sighs, dropping the pan onto the stove and leaning back, “You never were a good cook.”

She hits his arm as he lets out a giggle and allows a smile of her own to show for just a moment. He studies it, from the way her eyes have that special little sparkle to the way her cheeks become rosy as they stretch. 

“How have you been?” He repeats her question back to her and she stands a little straighter.

“Good.”

“Really?”

She nods, giving him another small smile, “I’ve been good.”

“Keeping busy?” She nods, “Adam told me you’ve been helping Phoebe.”

“Her first album came out a few months ago.”

He nods, “I listened. Could see you in a few songs.”

“I helped with guitar.” She tells him, a smile brightens her face for a few seconds as she thinks of Phoebe. Some colour returns to her cheeks. When the smile falls again she looks paler than before.

“I saw what happened with Braun.”

She sighs and stops picking up the dog toys scattered around her living room to fully face him, “You want a drink?”

“Please.”

She walks for the kitchen and he follows after her as she reaches for two cups and sets them down.

She grips the handle of her fridge, “Preference?”

“I’ll have anything.”

She nods and grips a bottle of fanta, he purses his lips. Not his favourite and she knows it.

She pours two cups and passes one to him as she leans against the kitchen island, peering out her back window into the frosty air of Christmas day.

“Jamie and Adam both kept me updated on the court case.” She nods slowly. She knew one of the guys would be telling Matty. Of course they would. “I’m sorry nothing came of it.”

She shrugs, “We came to an agreement. I get half the writing credits and they get to keep the song under their name.” She scoffs, “Doesn’t matter, he still has my book.”

“You were forced to an agreement, there’s a difference.”

“It was either that or be harassed by his American fangirls because of what I did.”

She looks down and Matty blinks at her slowly, “What you did? You say it like you did something wrong.”

“He seems to think I did.”

Matty shakes his head and then moves from where he’s leaning against the wall to grab her hands, he bends his knees to meet her eyes. “Please don’t let him make you feel guilty.”

She refuses to look at him, eyes still staring out the window. 

Tommie has always been full of guilt. It’s one of her biggest issues. Guilt for leaving behind her family. Guilt for never being a good daughter. Guilt that even with all this money and influential power she can’t change issues in the world. Guilt for things out of her control. 

It isn’t a hard task to make her feel guilty about something. She probably already does.

“Baby, look at me please.”

The moment the old name is coming from his mouth her eyes have snapped to meet his. Her brows furrow and her eyes gloss over with stars. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Did you want kids?” She shakes her head and he nods at the same time, “Did you do what you wanted?” She nods and then he shrugs, “Nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong.”

“Then why do I feel so dirty?”

His shoulders deflate, his eyes soften and brows draw together as he quickly shakes his head. “You’re not.”

He can’t believe this. That she’s been alone with these thoughts for so long. Without anyone. Without him.

“Can you do what you said in the letter?”

“What’s that?”

“Hold me.”

His arms are tugging her into his chest the moment the two words leave her lips, one hand on her back the other pressing her head into his chest as his eyes close in bliss.

He has been waiting to feel her touch for months, years. He’s never felt so alive. It’s like there’s oxygen in his lungs once again. Like he can finally breathe.

“Tommie, I just want to say-”

“No.” She shakes her head quickly, her arms tighten around his waist, “It’s Christmas, let’s just be Baby and Roddy today.”

He nods and squeezes her a little tighter when she mumbles, “I missed you.” Her hands grip his shirt, knuckles turning white, “I missed you so much. Will you stay?”

“Only if you want me to.”

“I need you to.”

He nods again, “Then I will. As long as you need me to.”

An hour later Tommie is curled up on her sofa with a knitted blanket thrown over the top of her. Matty relaxes further back into the cushions, her head in his lap. He lets his hands run through her hair, twisting and twirling strands around his long fingers.

He’s missed her hair. He’s missed the way she’d always need to be near him. He’s missed that little crinkle on her nose. And her crows feet in the corner of her eyes. And her one dimple that always shows when she smiles. And her laugh. And her snort when she laughs. He missed the way she’d mouth the words to her favourite films. He’s missed hearing her hum the song stuck in her head all day. Missed feeling her fingers drum a beat on his thigh as she’d try to get inspiration. Missed trying to sneak peeks of her poetry or songwriting when she wasn’t paying attention.

He’s missed touching her. A soft hand on her shoulder, a squeeze of her wrist. Any kind of contact. Matty didn’t think it was physically possible to feel pain from missing someone but he has. An ache deep in his stomach, the pit of his heart. An ache that came from his guilt and loneliness.

“Where are you staying?” She asks, bringing him from his thoughts.

“At home.”

“Alone?” She shifts closer to him, hand curling under his shirt and pressing into his warm stomach.

He gasps at the cold touch but it’s worth it at the mischievous smile she hides into his thigh. There’s five things he’s missed all in that one moment. 

“If you need any help- anything, you’ll come to me, right?” She lifts herself off of him to look at him better, “You won’t suffer in silence. I know I probably won’t understand but I can try to help.”

He wraps his arm around her and pulls her into his shoulder kissing her hairline and letting his lips rest there. He wants to feel her as long as he possibly can, at least until he messes up again.

“You’re already helping.” He promises, “This is the healthiest I’ve felt since leaving.”

“Who picked you up?”

“G.”

“Have you seen the rest of the guys?”

He nods, “I have.”

“Ross?”

“Yup.”

“Ads?”

“Yeah.”

“Jam-”

“I’ve seen them all.” He laughs.

“What about Denise?”

“Last week.”

“You waited until last week?”

He nods, “She wasn’t happy. But I was just so- so scared.” She takes his hand that he's buried into her red locks and holds it between both of hers, turning it over to trace the lines of his palm with her eyes, “She did everything for me to not go down the same path as her. And I did. I did knowing the struggles and the things she had to overcome.”

“Doesn’t matter what you did, as long as you fixed it.”

He scoffs and she rises to sit on her knees. They push into his thigh and she moves his face to look at him, “You’re a good person, Matty.” She lowers her voice and leans so close their foreheads touch, “Please believe in that.”

She closes her eyes as she takes in the feeling of him.

Matty lifts his chin, his nose pushes against hers. Resistance. He should stop. Should think of her nose as a shield. A form of protection against him. He doesn’t stop.

He pushes forward connecting his lips with hers in a soft kiss as he pushes upwards. Her hands fist his curls and just as she lifts one leg ready to straddle his waist he’s stood from the sofa and pushed her aside.

“I-I… Tommie.”

She lands with a quiet ‘oomph’ on the plush cushions of her sofa. Falling between the mountains of pillows and throws.

“Matt, it’s fi-”

He’s shaking his head and begins walking to the hallway. By the time the shock and embarrassment wears off and she forces herself after him he’s got both shoes on, with his hand reaching for his jacket.

“Matt.”

“I have to go.” He tells her as he pulls his long coat over his arms. He tries to fasten the buttons, but his hands shake and she reaches out to stop him. She claps her hands over both of hers, dropping them to his sides and then gripping the coat to keep him close.

This time it’s his hands that cover hers, both of them engulfing hers smaller ones as he pries them from his jacket. He can’t look at her. But he can't tear his eyes away from her face.

“Matt?”

“I’m sorry.”

taglist

@thereisaplaceintheheart, @indierockgirrl, @sofaritsalrightt, @julezs-bl0g, @eaglestar31, @sophinthealpss, @noacfemcel, @if-my-heart-bleeds, @befrwime, @fallingforel, @sexorchocolateorpillowsorclouds, @3terna15unshin3, @1975sophie1975, @thesocraticjunkiewannabe, @littlesoldierelleora, @procrastinatinglikeapro, @beatr2x, @byyourside28

-let me know if you want to be added :)

#show me yours matty healy #matty healy x oc #matty healy x reader #matty healy imagine #the 1975 x oc

[yjano]

The mission.

Scenario: Mc is willing to do anything for love.

Pairing: Jake x Mc.

Warnings: Mature topics, angst, smut scene.

Words: 5.3k

Author's note: Thought about finishing my one shot that was really forgotten in my drafts. I hope you will like it. (Sorry for the grammar mistakes.)♡

After leaving the city, we drove for several hours until we finally stopped in some old areas near the forest. Jake leaned back, pulling out his leather pouch, and I kinda was surprised when he opened it and pulled out a gun.

"You will have to listen to me, and if I tell you to run, you will run. Do you understand?" He said as he turned to me, a serious tone lacing his voice. I quickly nodded, knowing that it was a lie and I wouldn't run if I knew that he was in danger.

"I'm serious, baby."

"I know, and I promise to listen." I hummed quietly, knowing it was a lie because I won't listen to him.

Unfortunately, he seemed to have sensed it. I quickly connected our lips to make the lie convincing, and when I pulled back, I got a look that it didn't work because he knew what was going on in my head.

"Don't test me and listen to what I said." He sighed.

It was a warning. I knew when he's demanding or when he's warning. When we finally stopped in front of some old building. It took me a few seconds to realize that this was our destination, so I quickly turned to Jake.

"Shouldn't we sneak in or something?"

"Baby, I like when they greet me." He laughed, the corner of his lips lifted as we moved to the door, and after climbing a few steps, we stopped in front of a metal door with a large lock.

"I doubt that someone will meet us, I mean, they're government agents, Jake. We shouldn't expect them to just come in your hands." I said once I noticed the lock on the old door was broken and that there was nothing inside.

"You will be surprised to see how welcomed I am here." He laughed while pulling out a gun that had a silencer on it, and I didn't have time to say anything when he shot through the broken lock. I watched as he knocked on the door several times and turned around, looking around his surroundings.

"Who greets their guests like that?" He mumbled as he looked around the large room, which was empty and went to the side towards the corridor.

"Why do they always want to go the hard way." He growled, looking around.

The room suddenly became silent, and I heard my breathing only. I felt anxious inside as I took a step toward him, but I got a look that made me freeze. He raised his hand, pointing at the ceiling with his index finger, and turned towards the corridor with a dog whistle. I stood there waiting for something to happen. And then we just heard a soft hum behind the wall, which was like a sign for Jake.

"A room on the second floor?"

He nodded in response, and he came closer, holding my hand. His steps were big and sure as he walked down the hall, and as he reached the door, he raised his gun, firing several shots that left holes in the wooden door. I didn't realize what was happening until he opened the door, and I saw two men with black masks on the floor writhing in pain.

"Fucker." One of them cursed as Jake raised his weapon and promptly blew his brains out while also finishing off his friend who was still writhing.

"I said that we would be greeted." He smirked and moved forward, trying not to get into a pool of blood, and I tried to look at him only so that I wouldn't see the bodies that were lying around us.

"How did you know they were outside the door?" I felt stupid for asking such a thing, but I don't understand how he did manage to figure it out.

"This is their typical step, baby, rats are always hiding in obvious places."

The sound outside the door was soon heard, and another shot got fired. I looked up to see another man on the ground in a pool of blood. I don't know why and how he had such a quick reaction, but it made me grip his hand tighter.

After passing another body, I saw a brick staircase, which, after climbing it, opened into an office-like room. On the left side, there were many old wooden tables with booths whose walls were halfway up, and on the right, a long corridor with many doors.

"What's next?" I asked when Jake looked around, looking at the windows.

"I thought you were here to help me find a room." He smiled, turning to me, and I understood that now it was my turn, so I let go of his hand as I stepped forward.

I approached the fourth door and boldly opened it as I stepped into the long corridor, but before I could step forward, I felt a hand on my waist. Jake walked past me, running his palm across my torso and stopping me at the door I was approaching.

After he opened the door, I went into the room, which was empty, and in front of me was a wall behind which the room was supposed to be hidden.

"How are you going to get into it?" Jake asked me as he looked up, so my eyes followed at what he was looking to.

"You must be joking," I growled when I saw the ventilation hole because now I understood why he was measuring me earlier.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" He snorted as he stuck the gun in the waistband of his pants, and without warning, he came closer, grabbing me by the hip and lifting me. I flinched and grabbed his shoulders, and when I got to the opening, I reached out to try to remove the bars.

"They don't open," I grumbled and flinched again when he abruptly lowered me to my feet.

"Try to put it in."

He pulled out his knife from his pocket and handed it to me again. I bent the knife and stuck it behind the edge of the grill and used force to peel one side behind which I put my fingers to peel off the grill. I folded the knife into my jacket pocket and lowered my eyes to Jake, immediately meeting his gaze.

"There will be a safe in the room, and I need what's inside it."

"How am I supposed to open the fucking safe?"

"Forty, thirty- five, and fifty."

I understood that it had to be a code, and I didn't have time to answer anything when he moved me toward the opening.

"I hate you," I growled as I grabbed the iron edge with my hands. When he moved me higher, I felt his hands on my ass and he slightly squeezed it to show his dislike to my words.

"We'll talk about it later." He mumbled, and I crawled forward until I couldn't feel his hands anymore.

I was halfway inside the metal square pipe. I felt like I was short of air because of how tight it was since I couldn't even raise my head normally while lying on my stomach like that.

Wasting no time, I began to crawl forward until I reached the next opening and slammed it open. I poked my head into a small room, which was the size of a shower with some kind of metal chest of drawers. I looked at the distance between me and the floor, realizing that I hadn't planned how to get down.

It took a few seconds for me to look around as I slipped back into the opening and crawled forward until the ends of my legs were at the exit. I put my feet in and started crawling back. Suddenly, I flinched when something hit the pipe I was in. This hastened my movements, and before I could catch the edge with my fingers, I fell straight onto the sub.

"I swear I will kill him when we leave this shithole," I growled, standing up and grabbing the phone. I went to the chest of drawers, checking the first drawer, which had some papers. I looked through the others, which were just as full of papers, and then I closed my eyes, getting annoyed by all of this. I looked around the room with gray walls and looked at the floor, but there was nothing.

"Shit."I pushed the metal dresser to look behind it, but there was nothing as well. Have we been tricked?

"Jake?!" I screamed towards the opening through which I entered and fell silent as if my life depended on it.

"What?!" He screamed as if I was doing something that made him distract himself from something he was doing.

"There's nothing here!" I screamed and flinched when something hit the wall next to me. I pulled back because I knew what would happen if this wall was torn down.

"There has to be something!"

"But there's nothing!" I screamed so loud that I knew that the whole building heard me doing so.

"Mc-" He growled as if he was going to strangle me for yelling this loud, and a second later, a shot was heard, causing the phone to fall out of my hands. I bent down, picking up the phone, and my eyes immediately caught the white concrete floor, which had a crack, and when I looked up at the phone, it was just fine.

"What the fuck?" I knelt down to check it and only now I did see that it was not concrete, but plaster that was like chalk. Without waiting for anything, I pulled out Jake's knife and hit the net with the other end, making a hole.

I didn't stop until I saw a small black safe that was lying under the floor. Someone really doesn't want us to find it if they put that much effort into hiding it.

I found the safe, and I know the combination, but the problem is that I have never opened the safe, so I don't know how it works. I blew the air to remove the white dust from the black iron doors and turned the wheel, seeing the numbers that allowed me to understand what to do. After turning the first combination, someone hit the wall next to me again, and I rushed with the whole safe thing until I finally unlocked it.

I opened the door to see a large envelope and immediately took it, opening it to see what was inside. I shook the envelope to see pictures of Jake with a small black USB drive falling out. I put the USB in my pocket and just now saw that among the photos, there were some sheets with his name on them.

I knew I shouldn't read, and I should hurry, but I ran my eyes over the notes that mentioned his crimes. There were pictures with red arrows, question marks, and some numbers. I don't know what it is, but I knew I had to take it, so I put everything in an envelope and tucked it behind my shirt. I looked up at the iron chest of drawers and went over to open the first drawer, pulling out papers. I opened another drawer until I finally got to the last one and found another folder, which I immediately tucked behind my shirt.

I felt my heart pounding as I felt scared from not knowing what was going on there with Jake, and quickly I climbed on top of the dresser to reach the opening. I jumped a few times, hooking halfway, and I felt pain in my hips, but I didn't stop until I was in the hole.

I crept to the exit and looked down to just see several bodies, but Jake wasn't there. I crawled forward and hit the exit with my feet, and then moved back. I held on to the edges slowly, lowering my body until I felt a hand grab my torso, which made me flinch and try to free myself.

"And what do we have here?" I heard an unknown man's voice, and I didn't have time to answer anything when he jerked me down, but it only made me hold on to the edges more.

"Let go." I grunted as I moved my legs, and he jerked once more, making me scream in an unnatural voice as I felt the pain in my ribs, which rested on the edge of the opening.

"Come here bitch."

I don't know where I hit my legs, but I kicked something that made the man slap me on the ass.

"Hey!" It was Jake's voice, and I stopped in my tracks as my heart started beating like crazy. I didn't realize that my hands were shaking, my legs no longer supporting my body, and I fell when the attacker hesitated to hold me, he didn't catch me and just forced me to fall to the floor. I quickly turned around to see Jake taking big steps towards a man who pointed a gun at him.

My body was working faster than my brain as I pulled out Jake's knife and stabbed the man straight in the leg, drawing his attention to me.

"Bitch!"

That was enough for Jake to close in, grabbing his gun and shooting the man through the chest. The shot echoed throughout the building, making me flinch, and as if that wasn't enough, I felt drops of blood run down my face.

"Are you okay, baby?" Jakes voice made me come back to reality, and only now did I see that his face was also bloody.

"Yes." I nodded, not knowing if this was the right answer, and Jake leaned forward, grabbing me by the torso to get me up.

"I found the safe. I wanted you to know that."

"Really?" He smiled softly and pecked my head as he unzipped my hoodie pocket, taking out a new gun clip. I just nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Good girl." He mumbled, relieved tone lacing his voice. His breathing was as heavy as mine. Probably while I was busy with my own business, he had something to do as well.

"What happened while I was gone?"

"Someone wanted my head." He changed the gun's holster and quickly turned towards the door because he heard some knocking. I don't know why, but he looked like he wasn't here with me because he didn't look me in the eye and acted like he was still in the gunfight.

"Jake?"

"Not now, baby." He panted out and reached into his pocket.

"I can't get distracted. Otherwise, we'll both end up without a head." He warned as if he knew that I could feel his change, and I quickly nodded, knowing that he was right.

"Stay behind me." He ordered moving towards the door and boldly left by turning to the side and firing several shots. I saw four bodies, and two of them were new because he had just killed them.

How many government agents wanted his head?

The question hung in the air as we went down the stairs and walked down the corridor that was stained with blood, and it made me rush to grab his hand. Jake didn't react as he pushed open the door to go outside but stopped in an instant, causing me to crash into his back.

"What?"

I panicked when he turned to me and looked behind me. A man was standing at the end of the corridor aiming a gun directly at me, and I didn't have time to react, when after a shot was heard, Jake suddenly turned us around so that I was behind him. I hit the door behind me with my back as Jake walked towards me, slamming the door with his palm behind me.

"Fucking idiot." He growled meeting my gaze and my instinct worked faster than I could think. He shot Jake. He fucking shot him.

I quickly grabbed the gun from Jake's hand and walked past him towards the man, emptying the entire clip into his chest. I felt anger rushing out of me like water from an overflowing glass, and when the bullets ran out, I stopped in front of the body.

I slowly lowered my gun hand and tried to slow down my rapid breathing, which made my chest move like crazy.

I watched the blood run from his body to my shoes, and I took a step back to come back to reality. I slowly turned to Jake, who was watching me, and looked as surprised as I was.

"He put you and me in anger." I mumbled, running closer to him, and I grabbed the hem of his shirt, lifting it up to see where the wound was, but I only saw a black vest.

"I'm fine." After he spoke, I raised my eyes to meet his gaze.

"I panicked, I thought he shot you, I couldn't think straight." My words were incoherent, and I wanted to make sure that Jake was really okay. I slowly lifted his shirt even tigher, touching the hard black vest with my palm.

"Baby, I'm fine." His voice became softer. Forcing me to believe his words. I sighed in relief and pulled his shirt down to hide his vest.

"Everything is fine, baby, let's go before more of them will come." He whispered, and after kissing me, he took my hand, dragging me behind him to leave the building.

After getting into the car, I realized that I was still holding the gun with which I had just killed a person. I just killed a man. I fucking killed someone for Jake.

I wanted to feel guilty, but I didn't because I did it out of an instinct that told me to protect Jake. Everything happened so fast that I didn't have time to realize what was happening. All I knew was that he shot Jake, so he had to die for it.

"I killed a man." I spoke quietly, afraid to look at Jake, and instead, I just looked at the road in front of us.

"I know." He answered with a serious voice, so I turned to look at him with a worried face.

"I emptied the entire clip." I spoke quietly again, confirming to myself that I really did it, and Jake turned to look at me. His eyes landed on the gun in my trembling hands, and he slowly reached out to grab it. As he dropped it at the backseat. He took my hand in his and interlocked our fingers slowly.

"You did what was necessary." He assured me, looking at the road, and I nodded in agreement, but at the same time, I didn't know if it was really necessary. I mean, he shot Jake. I knew inside that it was necessary because no one touches Jake while I'm around him.

~

After entering the apartment, I immediately went to the bedroom and threw off my leather jacket. I pulled out the t- shirt that was tucked into my jeans and took out the papers I had tucked inside my shirt, letting them fall onto the bed. I lifted my jacket, taking out the USB that was in my pocket, and turned towards the door when I saw Jake entering the room.

"There was an envelope with this USB in the safe." I mumbled and lifted the envelope, handing it to him.

Jake walked towards me, grabbing the envelope and dropping it on the bed before suddenly cupping my cheeks in his hands.

"Is everything alright?" His eyes ran over my face looking for answers, and I quickly smiled.

"Yes."

I lied because I couldn't get the fact that I killed a person out of my head. I took someone's life and I can't forget it so easily. I was disturbed by the fact that I did it so easily and because I don't feel any guilt like something is really wrong with my mind.

"There was a metal chest of drawers in the room, and I found papers with your name there." I said as I got out of his arms turning towards the bed, and I picked up the papers, opening them immediately.

"I thought they were also important, so I took them." I said, and he slowly unfolded the papers. I lifted the envelope that was lying on the bed and handed it to him. He didn't answer anything, so I gave him the USB, too, wanting him to be happy with me and say something, but he was silent.

"Well then, I need to take a shower."

I passed by him towards the bathroom and closed the door once I entered it. I went straight to the mirror, looking at my image, seeing some drops of blood on my cheeks. I turned on the water, quickly wetting my hands and wiping off the blood, but I still felt like that man's blood was on my body.

"Mc, get a grip." My voice sounded quiet as I stepped away from the sink and took off my shirt, dropping it on the floor. I unbuttoned my pants, sliding them my legs down, followed by my panties. I unbuttoned my bra, throwing it with all my clothes, and entered the shower.

I turned on the water, which was cold. I hesitated when I was changing the water to warmer, and only when it started to get warmer. I realized that cold water helped me better, so I turned on cold water again.

I closed my eyes as I stood under the cold stream of water and tried to understand why it was so easy to kill someone. I wanted Jake to tell me the reason he could do this without feeling like he had an excuse to actually kill someone.

I had to get into my head what Jake said to me in the car that I had no choice, and it was necessary because I was doing it to protect both of us. I did it for Jake. That guy shot him, so he deserved to die, right?

I heard the shower door open, and a second later, I felt warm hands on my torso. Jake's naked body pressed against mine, providing warmth that the cold water took away.

"Mc."

After he whispered my name, I immediately opened my eyes to see how his hand reached the water handle and the way he changed the temperature of the water to warm.

"You did it because you love me as much as I love you." After he whispered these words, everything just disappeared like the water that ran through my body washed away all the worries I had inside my head.

He was right. I did it because I love him, and I have to admit to myself that I would do it again. The feelings I feel for Jake are so strong that it can make me do things I would never have dared to do, and it didn't scare me at all. I wanted to be strong so I could protect both of us, and this was the first step I had to take sooner or later.

It seemed like I only now realized that he always did this for me, to keep me safe. Jake was the one who was ready to sacrifice everything for me, and it seemed that I only now understood the reason why he always mentioned that I was like him. He knew that I would be determined to do the same for him, and this only made me understand that the love I feel for him has no end.

"I love you." He whispered again letting me hear the words I adored and I didn't think I would hear him saying it a second time because he always warned me not to repeat these words and leave them for special moments. He knew that this was exactly what I needed, as if he was sensing that these words would warm my frozen body.

Maybe the love I feel for Jake would appear unhealthy and toxic to others, but for us, it was perfect because we were both something different.

I slowly turned around with my palms touching his bare wet chest and raised my eyes to meet his gaze. I grabbed his neck with my hand and pulled him closer, connecting our lips, and then I took a step back, hitting the wall with my back. He was the first to pull back, but I didn't let him pull back too far, I brought our foreheads together.

"I would do it again for you." I admitted, opening my eyes to look at his lips.

"I would sacrifice everything for the love of my life. For you." I admitted raising my eyes to meet his gaze, and suddenly, without a word, he connected our lips. I kissed him back as I felt his hands on my torso slide down to my ass and squeeze it to elicit a moan.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his torso as he rose me up. His lips moved down to my neck, biting my skin, eliciting a moan that mixed with the water from the shower.

I gripped his back with my nails, feeling him go full length into me, pinning me against the wall even harder. He didn't wait for anything as he moved pretty fast. I rolled my eyes to back, grabbing his hair with my fingers and pulling the ends of them so that I could get a growl from him that I adored.

I felt the excitement go through my body, making me pull harder on his hair. Jake nibbled on the skin of my neck as he was thrusting into me at a quicker pace and whispered that I belonged to him.

I heard his voice and the way he kept repeating that I would always belong only to him, and I couldn't hold back the orgasm that made me shake with a moan that rang throughout the shower.

Jake didn't stop when his strong hands gripped my body so hard that I stopped breathing for a second as I felt him filling me fully. I opened my eyes to meet his gaze, and I immediately bent down to connect our lips in a kiss that we wanted so much to finish the orgasm we had achieved.

~

I woke up, and when I reached out to the other side of bed, I didn't feel another body that should have been lying next to me. I was lying on my stomach, so I lifted my body off the bed with my elbows to see that Jake's side of the bed was empty. For some reason, I had a bad feeling that crossed my heart for an unknown reason.

"Jake?" I called out and looked towards the door. Without getting the answer, I quickly sat down and got up from the bed, throwing on his shirt, which was lying next to the bed, and walked to the table, opening the drawers. It was empty, so that only meant that he had found what he was looking for.

I nervously ran a hand through my hair as I walked out of the room into the living room and looked towards the door where Jake's shoes were gone. For several minutes, I just stood looking at the door and biting my lower lip from the bad feeling I had in my chest.

I went back to the room with my phone and dialed his number, but when I heard the signal, I heard his phone ringing from the bed. I quickly walked to bed and lifted his pillow to see his phone. I sighed and quickly rejected the call. I don't like the idea that he left his phone and disappeared without saying anything.

I changed as quickly as possible without bothering to do my hair and walking to the door of the apartment, taking out my shoes from the closet. I quickly put it on without bothering to tie it and just tucked the laces behind the edges. I grabbed the car keys, feeling my heart pounding with anxiety and unlocking the door, but before I could open it, it opened by itself. My eyes suddenly met with Jake's, and the anxiety I felt made my body tremble.

"Where did you get ready for?" He asked with his eyebrows furrowed when he looked at my outfit, which was just black jeans and his shirt, which I just buttoned without bothering to put on a bra. I was in a hurry, not knowing where I was going, so my hair was still tangled, which showed that I had recently woken up.

"What the hell, Jake?!" I don't know why I screamed, but probably because I was panicked for his sudden disappearance and anxiety I felt. "Where were you?"

"At the Lilly's motel."

"Why did you leave without informing me?! I woke up alone and like it's not enough. I can't call you because you left the phone!"

"Why are you yelling at me?" He looked at me confused. His tone was calm. Too calm for my liking.

"Because you disappeared without telling anything."

"I always disappear without telling anyone anything."

"Yes, but now I have this bad feeling, so you can't just disappear. Not after what happened, Jake. I got scared..." I whispered, trying to calm down my breathing. His face softened as he came closer, grabbing my hand and pulling me into his arms, hugging me tightly.

"Baby I-" I cut him off almost immediately.

"Promise that you will be careful, Jake."

"I'm always careful. Besides, why are you worrying so much now?" He pulled back, holding my cheeks with his hands.

"I have this bad feeling that won't go away, and I'm afraid that something bad will happen to you." I said as I looked up at him. A gentle smile appeared on his face, with which he always showed that I should not worry.

"Nothing will happen to me, so stop talking about it. I've got it under my control."

"Promise me." I pressed him to promise because I didn't like how I had that feeling. I killed a government agent. He killed many of them, too. It's obvious that they will be looking for us now more than ever.

"Mc."

Why doesn't he promise? After all, I did not ask him to call out for my name, but I needed him to promise me that he would not disappear anywhere and would protect himself.

"Then promise that you won't disappear anywhere and you will protect yourself." I stared at him hopefully. He was silent for a long minute before a long sigh escaped his lips.

"I promise."

For a few minutes, we were both just silent, looking into each other's eyes.

Looking into his eyes, I tried to see if he promised me that only to stop my pressing, but I could not see anything. I could only curse at the fact that I couldn't see through the lies because Jake's eyes were professional when it came to hiding the truth. I could see the love he felt for me in them, but other emotions were hidden, preventing me from understanding him.

"Come on." He reached out to grab my wrist. I didn't resist letting my body move towards him. I melted into his embrace and closed my eyes, inhaling his perfume that calmed me down.

"Even if they caught me and tortured me. I would come back to you, even from hell baby. My promise will always stand. No one can separate me from you."

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood family #duskwood fandom #jake x mc #mc and jake #duskwood fanfiction #everybyte studio #one shot

[lagncx]

Children aren't born with hate. Levi x Reader

(Time: before u and Levi were together yup. uh yah this is wolf titan AU SOOO PLZ DONT CALL ME CRINGE >-<)

You limped your way through the gates of the walls you had been beaten up badly your body teared and burned your eyes were still very animalistic. like a hurt puppy your eyes were big, and pupils were uncannily round. You didn't want to ride in the injured wagon seeing the multiple companions of yours and... Eren injured and it felt disrespectful since they couldn't heal as quickly as you could. Though you were in major pain your body was morphing itself into shape. You spit out blood collected in your mouth.

You've proved your loyalty to the people of the walls at least a dozen times, yet they still stared with hate. Levi told you to ignore it after cleaning your nose after suffering a beating a few nights ago from your...people. They stomped you half to death and you couldn't defend yourself or else you'd be a "danger." You held your head low till you guys took a small stop for some people to come and identify the dead. you sighed and looked over seeing a girl and her mother staring at you but with something...different. The mother looked around before pushing her out with a smile looking down at the girl then the girl ran over towards you stopping in front of you to your Suprise. She looked up at you, your eyes looked at Erwin who bowed his head as a signal and you did the same kneeling down and bowing your head hearing the murmurs of disproval and disbelief and... disgust. Your eyed widen feeling the crown the girl gave you the petals of the flowers gracing your forehead you looked up at the girl whose eyes were full of admiration. the flowers were nothing special, but the weaving was tight and meant she dedicated that time to you. "My mother says people are afraid of what they can't understand but I know what you are, you're our hero." Your heart jumped in love and joy as she stared at you her mom carrying her away, she smiled at her new savior. You.

you and Levi finished with horse care. "You see the way she. Looked at me?" Levi looked over at you with a small smile that you couldn't see. "It's like she made you a knight...her noble sword" He hummed wiping his clothes with his hands with a disgusted look. "Everyone here has always looked at me with hate." Levi shook his head and went behind you his hands wiping the hay and hair off your back his hands lingered for a second on some spots your shoulders and his fingers felt down your back you were too into your thoughts to hear his own or notice. Levi wanted to nuzzle into you again like he did when you saved him that night a few weeks ago from his nightmares he woke up and you were gone, and the loneliness came back. he ached to smell your scent again. He sighed and pulled away "Children aren't born with hate. It's something that has to be taught." He rubbed his eyes frustrated he was having these thoughts he felt your hand under his chin tilting his head up. "So...do you...Hate me, Captain?" Levi felt his heart speeding up and he seen your eyes snap to his throat for a second, you asshole...you know that his heart is pumping course you do Dogs Can Smell Fear. "I-...Do." Levi said his breathing small and quiet. Your eyes looked down at him. Levi closed his eyes...was this going to be his first kiss?! he mentally cursed you feeling your breath on his nose. Then his lips. "Please, Levi...don't lie." you whispered pulling away and kissing the corner of his mouth before walking away. Levis eyes opened seeing you walk into the foggy field leaving him there with the sounds of horses and birds behind him his fingers rubbed the corner of his mouth softly as to not get rid of the lingering touch of your lips. His body shook with fear...of the future.

I fed a stray

Ever since then its returned to my door waiting for its treat

it keeps away the evil that surrounds my home

I am scared of the dog disappearing

#writing #fanfiction #x reader #fanfic #x female reader #attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x reader #aot levi

[moreclaypigeons]

Lorem Lore Masterpost (The Infinite Dungeon)

Maybe you've heard of Lorem Ipsum. Or maybe you haven't. Either way, she's heard of you. Probably. Or will at least pretend she has.

So, what's her deal?

A while ago I was struck with the perfect character name- lorem ipsum. It's the pseudo-latin filler text everyone uses in design. How fucking funny would that be? I set the name aside for a while and decided next time I got to play DnD i'd use it.

And then that day came along. @siriwesen announced they were looking for players for a mini campaign, called The Dungeon. They said they would put our characters through hell. Yippee!! The perfect opportunity for my silly guy.

Lorem is a 22 year old human sorcerer. From afar, you wouldn't expect much from her, just your typical adventurer. But there is more to her than it seems! Up close, you could see a faint opalescent shimmer on her skin, the result of spending her formative years traveling between the outer planes. She never really had one place she called home, as she was always on the move, but the closest thing she had was Elysium. That was where she had felt safest, among celestials, phoenixes, and moon dogs alike. As she grew up, the magic of the outer planes imbued her with power, which aside from her powerful spellcasting, can be seen in the shimmer of her skin or the glow of her eyes as she wields that magic.

[ art by @siriwesen ]

Being a messenger between planes was great and all, but she felt lonely and out of touch with her roots. In an attempt to reconnect with her past, she returned to the prime material plane with only the clothes on her back and her trusty messenger bag (which actually carries a lot, to be honest!).

However, things didn't exactly go to plan. She was only there a few days before... well... she can't quite remember what happened.

She wakes up in a cell, in a dungeon. She notices the walls are well lit, despite a lack of any light source. Fucking weird but not the worst she's been in. She takes her ring of miscellaneous keys and opens the cell door. As she walks down the hallway, she's greeted by one of these fuckers. Some bug skull thing. Ick.

[ art by @siriwesen ]

She tried to attack it with sacred flame, no success. Then, from the hallway, she hears footsteps as a pale human man makes his way down, quite afraid. She says fuck it and casts firebolt, which fuck- did not work on that bug. Barely missed the man. He flips her off before running down the hall.

Lorem quickly discovers they are not alone, as she takes out the bug with a spear, then discovers that the hallways lead to other cells. Altogether, there are four people in the dungeon. And the bugs remain defeated. As they try to figure out what the shit is happening, they discover another cell, which is empty, and a paper which alluded to an "author" visiting the realm for inspiration.

The group discovers a staircase, and as they climb them, a white fog clouds their vision, and they find themselves in a different room, with 4 of the bugs waiting for them. They do some badass shit and take them out, with minor hiccups. Lorem aligns with two of the bugs and shoots her firebolt through them, searing them both at one instant.

As those bugs lie dead, the team notices a pile of bones nearby. Recognizing it from the previous floor, they decide they should figure out if it would also turn into a bug.

[ art by @amberflatwoods ]

Which... yeah may not have been the best idea. Youch!

Quail boy did a bit of a dumb but it ended up being alright with a heal from the half-elf. Meanwhile, blondie engages in combat and then runs away, which *dm voice* you're going to provoke an opportunity attack! And he's pretty injured. Lorem casts aura of vitality to give him a heal, and they take down the bug.

But blondie decides that he hasn't had enough yet, and investigates the pile of bricks, which, fuck. is a mimic, hungry for blood. Stabbing it kind of helps, and then the half-elf bard casts thunderwave on it, which Lorem saved for. But, fuck. The other guy is still in range. He's low on health.

[ art by @lexarga ]

He does some more attacking, and.. well.. yet again tries to run. Some people never learn... in an opportunity attack, the mimic mauls him.

Lorem sees this stranger across from her as he bleeds out. She shouts out in protest, watching the pile of bricks descend upon him.

[ art by @amberflatwoods ]

And then everything goes white.

And she's back in her cell again.

Anyways, antics carry out from here. In the second cycle, they finally introduce themselves to each other.

The human(?) rogue is Damien [ played by @abstractbabble ]. The half-elf bard who healed Lorem is Lyr [ played by @lexarga ]. And the avian halfling who shot her in the arm (which healed. only physically...) is named Guthrie [ played by @amberflatwoods ].

They do some more digging, and discover: 1. a few bottles filled with liquor, 2. a rope hanging from the ceiling in the empty cell, which leads up to the second floor.

The second Lorem sees those bottles, she goes, "MOLOTOV COCKTAIL!"

Together, the gang devises a plan, where Damien will climb the rope and cast minor illusion to distract the bugs, and Guthrie will launch the bottle at them as they gather in one spot

[ animation by @amberflatwoods ]

And it's pretty successful... I mean they don't die immediately, but a little fire never hurt. Lorem immediately adds fire to fire, killing the big guy with sacred flame, and shooting another with firebolt. Which, well. Shit. Sets the table on fire. No big.

And here is when we learned Lorem is a fan of arson. My fault, really, for giving her two fire-related spells.

[ art by @siriwesen ]

They do some puzzle shit, get to the next floor, and discover they are on floating platforms in a void that extend repeating infinitely outward. The usual. After some investigating and physics testing (he threw a candle over the gap and it was fine!!!) Damien makes a running jump for it, but he kind of slows down in the air, like he's moving through jello, and Lorem sees as he misses the ledge and plummets downward.

And then everything goes white.

Third time's the charm?

[ art by @amberflatwoods ]

The second floor is tougher this time around. The damn bugs keep respawning. But they have nothing on Lorem, she takes no hits.

Meanwhile, Damien is being crushed by a cabinet and they realize the items don't restock each cycle. After defeating the enemies for realsies, the four of them sit around a table and rest with some wine.

They talk about whether they'd reunite after they escape, and Lorem assures them she'd be able to find them. One way or another. Guthrie gives her a feather just in case. She says, "my dog will find you," which sounds threatening but moon dogs are not scary.

This time they successfully make it past the third floor, through a series of bridge-forming puzzles. There's a fifth platform set that seems to activate on its own, but uhhhh let's just ignore that for now guys.

They end up in a village, which is pretty obviously fake. There are characters all around it (!!! other people !!!!) but after approaching them all, they discover they are NPCs. WHEN WILL IT END?

Lorem tries to exploit the infinite fish glitch, which doesn't work. Whatever, lame. They head to the next floor.

CUE BOSS BATTLE MUSIC

They find themselves in an enclosed rundown castle, with an atrium. Floating above a tree is a GIANT monster bug skull. Holy shit. Fear for my life. Lorem finds out fire doesnt work on it (RUDE), needs a heal from Lyr, and Damien rushes up the stairs.

Where he is.. promptly killed by taking one hit after the other. Yikes dude

You know the drill.

The next time they reach that floor, they're smarter about it. They have a lot more HP, and do more heals. Guthrie hides behind the left staircase, while Damien goes up it. Lorem leads Lyr up the right staircase, as Lyr casts vicious mockery. Cornered between two skull bugs, Lorem casts spirit guardians, and a swarm of winged spirits in shifting colors swirl around her. They completely desecrate the bugs.

Lyr moves forward, and the spirits part like the curtain of a waterfall as she makes her way closer to the enemy. As Lorem follows, taking cover beside a tree, the spirits follow her in a 15 foot radius, but they're moving slower.

Through the spirits, Lorem sees as Damien approaches the giant from behind. As he casts color spray, a paint-like substance splatters everywhere in the direction of the bug, and from his balm glows a brilliant a blinding light.

[ art by @siriwesen ]

As the light dims, in the spot where Damien once stood, is a giant white figure. It's long, and cylindrical, and has 6 legs. And it is staring down at the bug with an eyeless grin.

[ art by @amberflatwoods ]

Aaaand that's where we last left off a few days ago. Pretty exciting!

I love this campaign so much and I love our little adventuring crew and all the Situations (tm) they get themselves into.

#lorem ipsum #the infinite dungeon #sierra speaks #my art #friends art #friends ocs #long post #WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH AHUSFJJSDJKSDKFD

[denjirv]

༺ღ༒ Crossed Paths༒ღ༻

Denji spends his days waiting for someone after school

⏤͟͟͞͞☆A/N: In gonna be honest this is just to help me characterize my self insert but if you just wanna read it like a y/n stuff then keep in mind this time "reader" is afab for this one!

No CW warnings just purely SFW with minor implications of a not so great living situation but nothing explicit  “And then she’d just called me a loser again and left! What a asshole” “All cause I said you went to a different school” There was a moment of silence as the teen leaned against the brick wall, crossing his arms. Only silence fills the air before he turns and sees a camera recording him. “Hey are you recording?!” The camera panned down to a pair of dirty black mary janes with white socks as the cameraman giggled. “Haha I’m sorry!” The camera was turned off by the sound of a click and the small light going dark. “You know when you put it like that it does sound ridiculous” Denji sees the young girl in front of him. The girl in the navy blue sailor uniform, she placed her camera back into her school bag. “It's the most obvious lie no one will fall for that” The blonde school boy scoffs offended but she did have a point, he’s just one not to admit it easy. “Well you know what-” He argues back but before he can think of anything he pauses and looks away from her in defeat. “You’re right” he hung his head low as the young girl held in a giggle. “You’re cute, Denji but not the brightest. '' Denji looks up, pointing at his girlfriend as he furrows his brows. “Didn’t you tell me yesterday that you got a low grade in your math class?!” Denji finally had the upper hand as the girl left shocked but also putting up a feigned upset face. “Hey listen, math is hard! I’m just better at other things' ' She leaned her face forward to him, crossing her arms as her foot was inches away from Denji’s converse. “Oh yeah like what?” Denji inched his face closer to hers, only their eyes being the only thing they saw. A small staring contest happens before the brunette girl laughs. Denji watches her hugging her stomach as she was sent into a giggle fit, her rosy cheeks getting redder with her smile being almost a trigger for him to smile as well. “Ok ok fine I guess that’s pay back for my comment earlier” Denji’s attitude brightens up as he puffed his chest out with his hands on his hip. He’d always been rather eccentric but that’s what Kanna loved about him. Later on the two walked their way back to Denji’s apartment. Opening the door to meet her eyes on multiple eager huskies and a single cat sleeping on the couch with a small child sitting there. “Woah hey there you missed me?” Kanna drops her bag as she starts to pet each of the giddy dogs licking her cheek. “Ahhh doggy kisses!” falling back on the wooden floor she feels all of the dogs overwhelming her with attention. But once Denji called them all over so that he could feed them she sees the small child staring at her. “Nayuta sweetie” Her tone shifted once she started to head towards her on the couch. She sounded more sweeter and even motherly with the way she spoke to Nayuta, must be the maternal instincts kicking in early. “How are you? Is your brother treating you well” Nayuta nodded her head before silently leaning against her shoulder, she stared off to the cartoon playing on the tv as Kanna gently stroked her hair. “I thought you came here to spend more time with me?” Denji pouts, puffing up his lower lip almost like a child as the dogs were greedily eating up the brown kibble from their bowls. “Well you also have a little sister I don’t wanna leave her hanging” Kanna made a kissy face at Denji but all he could do was ignore her rather obvious attempts to butter him up into a better mood But even at the moment of what to those might seem like chaos Kanna looked back at the tv screen as she leaned into the cushion of the couch. For once in a while it was as if time slowed down and she was happy. She can feel Nayuta moving in her arm as she got more comfy position to settle in She won’t say it much but for once Denji gave her something she wanted, an outlet. Away from school, away from her mother. She felt like she was in a dream. As the hours went by, filled with laughter and content silence she realized she was running almost past her curfew. “Tomorrow I’ll try stopping by” Denji kissed Kanna’s forehead as he smiled softly at her, by now the skies that were once blue were an orange decorated with pink clouds. “Just try not to leave dirt marks when you climb into my window you loser” She laughs as she kisses him back, a farewell kiss as she waved silently at the sleeping Nayuta using the cat as a pillow. She leaves his apartment complex with a smile on her face though as soon as she reached her home she felt something in her chest Pain? Dread? She still hasn’t figured that out especially by the sound of her mother’s voice coming from the house. Standing in front of the door she takes a deep breath and leaves her dreamworld and into reality. “Mom, I’m home”

#self shipping #self ship #self ship fanfic #self ship fanfiction #Chainsaw man #chainsaw man x reader #denji x reader #chainsaw man denji #denji x y/n #denji x you #afab reader

[lemonbxrry]

Doctor's Orders

ZERO / ONE / TWO / THREE / FOUR / FIVE / SIX / SEVEN

Season One, Episode 5: Wildfire

        I LAY IN MY TENT, staring at the wall. I cracked my knuckles, dry pieces of blood chipping off. 

"(Name), you gotta come out," Shane said outside of the tent, I didn't respond. I closed my eyes and counted backward, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. He sighed and left my tent, his footsteps getting quieter as he walked away. I curled into a ball, shutting my eyes tightly. She was going to turn at any point and I couldn't even get up and see how long that was going to be. I killed her. I didn't kill her, a walker did. I could have saved her if only I was fast enough. I should have been fast enough. I'm a doctor for crying out loud. I covered my ears, pushing those thoughts out of my head. I sat up, looking at the cloth door. I need to do something, anything. I unzip the tent, seeing Andrea hovered over Amy still. The rest of the adults were huddled around each other, talking. 

"Are you bleeding?" I hear as soon as I get close enough in range. I stop in my steps, looking over at Jacqui and Jim. 

"I just got some on me from the bodies," Jim tried explaining. 

"That blood is fresh. Were you bit?" I asked, anxiously, getting closer to the two. Jim bends down to pick up one of our people, standing back up. 

"No, I got scratched during the attack," he lied. 

"You got bit," Jacqui stood and backed up, I stood in front of her, narrowing my eyes. 

"Jim, you can't lie about something like this," I began to tell him. 

"I'm fine," he tried to change the topic. 

"Show me. Show me your scratch. Prove you aren't bit," I pleaded, something like this can't be happening now. He looked up at me from where he was about to pick up what was on the ground. Everyone glanced over. 

"Don't tell, please," he whispered. I took a step back with Jacqui, trying to keep my distance. 

"A walker got him, a walker bit Jim," Jacqui began to call out. Everyone began to circle, enclosing Jim like an animal. 

"I'm okay, I'm-"

"Show it to us. Show it," Daryl called out, having his pickaxe ready. Jim turned around and got his shovel, wielding it to protect himself. 

"Jim, easy, we're just wanting to help," I told him, trying to calm him down. "Put it down," T-Dog came up behind him, grabbing his arms and putting them behind his back. I cautiously walk over, trying not to startle him more before pulling up his shirt up to the middle of his ribs. A large bite mark on his left side, oozing with blood. 

"I'm okay," Jim kept repeating even after everyone saw he was bitten. We stared at him in fear, backing up. 

"I say we put a pickaxe through his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," Daryl said, looking at us all. 

"Daryl he hasn't shown any signs of turning yet," I tried to point out, "No fever, no slow movements, nothing,"

"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane asked Daryl, I stood next to him, expecting a yes already from the man. 

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it," Daryl told him plainly.

"I hate to say it, I never thought I would, but maybe Daryl's right," Dale said, convinced by what the hillbilly said. 

"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog," Rick said, his hands placed on his hips. 

"I'm not suggesting-" Dale tried to talk, Rick cutting him off and continuing his tangent. 

"He's sick. A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?" 

"The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be," Daryl told Rick. 

"What if we can get him help? There obviously has to be something, I mean for God's sake he is still alive and moving," I told him, throwing my hands in the air a bit, frustrated with how things were going, "Last I remember hearing was that the C.D.C. was working on a cure," I tried convincing everyone who wasn't on Rick and I's side. 

"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell," Shane said, shaking his head. 

"What if the C.D.C. is up and running?" Rick asked, trying to go back to my point of the C.D.C.

"Man, that is a stretch right there," Shane said, shaking his head, looking at Rick, and then back at me. 

"Why?" I asked, exasperated about how difficult this conversation was becoming. It was like Shane had lost all hope ever since Rick came back. "If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the C.D.C. at all costs, wouldn't they?"

"It's our best shot. Shelter, protection-" Rick began to back me up, Shane interrupting him. 

"Okay, Rick, you want all those things, all right? I do too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the army base. Fort Benning," Shane said, talking of a location that is the complete opposite of where we are trying to go now. 

"That's 100 miles in the opposite direction," I slightly exclaim, throwing my arms out in frustration. 

"That is right, but it's away from the hot zone. Now listen to me, if that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'd be safe there, (Name), they could probably especially use your help, seeing that you're trying to be a doctor," he fought for his side of the argument, trying to persuade me out of my own side. 

"That doesn't help us though, the military was on the front lines of this outbreak," I told him, "They got overrun, we all saw it. The C.D.C. is our best choice and Jim's only chance," A couple of people glanced back at Jim, who was a little ways off from our meeting. 

"You go looking for Aspirin, do what you need to do," Daryl said, he began to take a running start at Jim, "Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem," everyone ran after him, Rick and I getting there the quickest out of the group, I ran in front of Jim, trying to use myself as a shield as Rick held his pistol at Daryl's head. Daryl stared right at Jim and me, huffing. 

"Hey hey hey! We don't kill the living," Rick told him, Daryl turned to look at him as Shane came up beside me, holding his shotgun. 

"That's funny coming from a man who just put a gun to my head," Daryl told him.

"We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down, go on," Shane told Daryl. Daryl looked at me and handed the pickaxe to me, huffing and stomping away. Shane followed after him, I waited to see what Rick wanted to do. 

"Come on," Rick picked Jim up. 

"Where are you taking me?" he asked worriedly, not liking what has been happening at all. 

"Somewhere safe," he answered. 

THE WALKING DEAD

 I stood there, talking with Rick and Shane about what we planned to do, and what we should have for Jim, seeing that the infection hasn't gotten to him yet. Then something caught my eye. The corpse of Amy sitting up and Andrea just letting it happen. I gently pat their arms to get their attention to look and they noticed, getting into a defense and attack stance. I follow after them as they both bring out their pistols, having, the three of us quietly and briskly walk towards Andrea and the animated body of Amy. Then she did what none of us thought she would do. She shot Amy right through the head. The shot rang through the area, loud and clear as day. Andrea just caressed the now fully dead body of her sister. We all stayed silent. 

THE WALKING DEAD

We walked up to where Daryl was at the end of complaining to Shane and Rick, "These people need to know who the hell's in charge here, what the rules are,"

"There are no rules," Rick answered, looking up at Daryl, stopping from digging one of the graves. 

"Well that's a problem," Lori spoke, causing everyone to glance at her, "We haven't had one minute to hold onto anything of our old selves. We need time to mourn and we need to bury our dead. It's what people do," she finished. We helped put our people into the ground, Amy is one of the last people to be buried. Andrea struggling to bury her and Dale trying his best to help. Once that was over, we began our trek back to camp. I walked alone, trying to think and letting the people who needed to mourn, mourn. Carl walked up to me, holding onto my hand. 

"Are you going to leave too?" he asked, looking up at me. I furrowed my brows, confused. 

"No, I'm not going to leave," I told him, giving his hand a small squeeze. "I have so much I want you to learn and we still have all the time in the world," I tried to lift his spirits. He nodded, as though he understood. We got back to the camp and Carl ran off to go play with Sophie, I made a beeline to the RV that Jim was in. He was sweating profusely. 

"Oh shit," I mumbled, looking through my bag and finding a water bottle, filled with the lake water from a little while ago. I dig through the cabinets of Dale's RV, trying to find a bowl. Luckily finding one, I dump the water into it, grab a clean rag and dip it into it, then go and press it on Jim's forehead, trying to cool him off. His bandage already needed a new change, damnit. I sighed through my nose, trying to think of the best possible solutions to make Jim more comfortable and also require fewer resources. I turn back hearing footsteps, seeing Lori and Rick come in, "His fever is worse," I told them, going back to dabbing at Jim's head with the cold water.

"You need anything?" Lori asked him. 

"Uh, water. Could use more water," he answered, his voice raspy.

"I'll get some," 

"Okay," Jim mumbled quietly. I wrung out the water into the bowl and scooped a new clump of water into the cloth, I think I had some more towels in my tent, I don't remember. Lori left and Rick sat across from where we were. 

"You save a grave for me?" Jim asked, swallowing hard. Rick looked away, biting his cheek. 

"Nobody wants that,"

"It's not about what you want," Jim gave a small pause and looked distant. "That uh, that sound you hear, that's God laughing while you make plans," Jim had a solemn look on his face, already accepting his defeat. 

"What I want, Jim, if God allows, is to get you some help," I told him, a concerned look placed on my face, He gives a small and short smile until his face contorts into pain and he starts having a coughing fit. Rick hands me a pot that sat beside him, giving it to Jim as he coughs blood into the pot. He groaned, inhaling some fresh air, and finally began to calm down from the fit. 

"Watch the mangroves. The roots will gouge the whole boat. You know that, right? Amy is there swimming. You'll watch the boat, right?" he glanced between Rick and me. I placed my hand over my mouth, nodding. He stayed looking at Rick, who hadn't given him his answer yet. "You said you would," 

"I'll watch the boat, (Name) and I will both watch it," Rick told him. Jim nodded, mumbling a small okay. 

Rick stepped out of the RV as I continued watching over Jim, dumping out the old water into the ground through a window, opening another lake water bottle, and getting fresh water. I wrote in my notebook about the last couple of days, seeing I wasn't really able to write about last night. I ran a hand through my hair, letting it out of its usual updo, it causing a massive headache from how tight I've been putting it up. 

THE WALKING DEAD

I was sitting on one of the pullout chairs next to Carl, showing him one of the newest books I got him and for the other kids to read. Then Shane, Dale, and Rick came back from their sweep, finding their place in the small broken-up circle. 

"I've uh, I've been thinking about Rick's plan. Now look, there are no, uh, there are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first to admit that. I've known this man for a long time," he looked directly at Rick, then glanced at me. "I also trust (Name)'s instincts about this too, she's a doctor and the C.D.C. probably has stuff for her to help with. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning. Okay?" he asked rhetorically, knowing we couldn't really say much about the time. 

THE WALKING DEAD

I awoke at dawn, panting, I unzipped my tent and began to walk out. Stumbling out I headed out to start packing, finding anything that I could take and what I should leave behind or possibly give to another person. After a couple of hours, everyone began to wake up and pack, I had a black duffle bag, a small grey medical bag, and my own bag. 

"Those of you with C.B.s., we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, don't have a C.B., can't get a signal or anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?" Shane finished, making sure everyone knew what the plan was. I stood next to him, having been told by him that he wants to be riding with me, seeing that he needs to make sure I am protected as best as possible, not really trusting anyone with my well-being seeing as the last couple of times I went out without him I met a couple of bad experiences. 

"We're uh," Morales began, causing everyone to look at him. "We're not going," everyone stared in disbelief. 

"We have family in Birmingham," his wife, Miranda, explained. "We want to be with our people," she held her daughter Eliza tightly. 

"You go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back," Shane told them, trying to convince them to stay. 

"We'll take the chance. I gotta do what's best for my family," Morales explained, looking at Rick. 

"You sure?" Rick asked. 

"We talked about it, we're sure," 

"Alright, Shane," Rick said, the two going through the duffel bag with the guns. They handed him a gun and some ammo. 

"Thank you all, for everything," Miranda said, her voice cracking. Carl sat on the hood of the car, crying to himself as Lori stood up and hugged Miranda. I walked over to Eliza and Louis, giving them both hugs, shifting through my bag, and handing them some candy I found while going on a supply run that I was planning to give them later during the trip. 

"You guys take care of your mom and dad, alright?" I told them, rubbing both r of their shoulders reassuringly. The kids all hugged, crying, then they began to walk away to their car. 

"What makes you think our odds are any better?" Shane asked Rick, not saying goodbye or feeling saddened by their leaving. "Come on, let's go, let's move out," that made everyone go into the cars that they were assigned to. I gave a small smile and waved at Glenn before getting into the car that Shane had for us. I stared out the window, my legs propped up on the seat. Just thinking and watching the scenery pass by as we went faster behind everyone. I closed my eyes, trying not to cry from everything we lost. Shane grabbed hold of my hand, giving it a tight squeeze and then just gently holding it. I took a small breath, knowing that I wouldn't be here without him and know who I know today. 

THE WALKING DEAD

We stood in the street, looking at the RV. It overheated and steam was pouring out of the engine area. 

"Y'all, Jim," Jacqui said, getting out of the RV. "It's bad, I don't think he can take anymore," she told us. I quickly rushed into the RV after her, I sit beside Jim, placing my hand on his head, wincing at how hot his head felt. 

"Leave me here," Jim begged. "I'm done, I want to be with my family," he told me. Rick stood behind me. 

"They're dead, I don't think you know what you're asking. The fever, you've been delirious more often than not," Rick tried to convince him to stay. 

"You don't think I don't know?" Jim replied, wincing in pain. "I'm clear now. In five minutes, I may not be," he told us, I furrow my brows. He's right. The infection is going faster at this moment. "Rick, (Name), I know what I'm asking," he told us solemnly. "I want this, leave me here. Now that's on me. Okay? My decision, not your failure," I looked down. 

THE WALKING DEAD

"It's what he wants," Rick told the group. 

"And he's lucid?" Carol asked, not believing us. 

"It appears that yes, he is lucid. He was responding to us extremely well and knew what was happening around him," I told her, knowing that they were most likely going to take my word for it seeing that I am the only doctor in the group at the moment. 

"I would say yes, back in the camp when I said Daryl might be right and you shut me down, you misunderstood. I would never go along with callously killing a man. I was just gonna suggest that we ask Jim what he wants. And I think we have the answer," Dale said solemnly, turning to look at us all. 

"We just leave him here? We take off? Nah, I'm not sure I could live with that," Shane said, glancing down, then looking back up at Rick and me. 

"It's not your call, either one of you," Lori said, giving us a look. I sigh, heading back into the RV to tell Jim about what we decided. 

THE WALKING DEAD

 Shane and Rick lay Jim against a tree, the three of them grunting. I dab at his forehead with the towel from earlier, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. 

"Yeah, that's it," Rick mumbled to himself, we circled him with solemn stares. Everyone came up to the hill where we laid Jim, each person having mixed emotions. 

"Hey, another damn tree," Jim chuckled, looking at Shane. 

"Y'know Jim, I mean, you know it doesn't need to be this," Shane tried to plead with him. 

He shook his head in response, "It's good. The breeze feels nice," Shane nodded his head, looking down. 

"Okay," he told Jim, standing up, "Alright," he swiped at his face, backing up from Jim.

Jacqui knelt next to Jim, placing her hand on his cheek in a comforting move, "Just close your eyes, sweetie. Don't fight," she gave him a kiss on his cheek, standing and walking away, lightly crying. Rick knelt next to him, holding out a small pistol. 

"Do you want this?" he asked him, wanting to not leave him with nothing to defend himself. 

"No, you'll need it," Jim said. Rick nodded, "I'm okay," Dale was next to say goodbye to the man, 

"Thanks for uh, for fighting for us," he gave a thin smile, patting Jim on the leg lightly. Jim only nodded, mumbling a small 'Okay'. Soon everyone began to disperse, I lingered behind with Daryl, the two sharing a look. Daryl turned to leave, walking back with the group. 

"I wish I could say you are going peacefully, but I can't promise anything," I told him softly, squatting down next to him. "I can only hope and pray for whatever you believe in that it is peaceful," I squeezed his hand, giving him a soft look. "Though, I can say that you are going to see your family again," he smiled up at me, nodding, then looked at the sky and closed his eyes. I took this as my queue to leave and walked back to the group, getting in Shane's jeep. 

THE WALKING DEAD

 We exit the cars, finally coming up onto the CDC building. All of us got out quietly and carefully. We hold our breaths, the stench of rotten corpses filling our senses. My eyes began to sting, and I furiously blink, trying to get my tears out of the way. I held my bat closely, making sure I had my knife in range.

"Alright, everybody. Keep moving, go on," Shane whispered to us, waving his hand in a circular motion so we weren't just sitting ducks gagging at the bodies lingering around us. I stop for a second, thinking, 'What if there are some medical supplies,' I shook my head, moving again, 'Someone would have gotten it by now,'. "Stay quiet, let's go," he jogged up to where Rick and I were, looking around. Flies buzzed all around us, flying into our clothes and onto our faces. 

"Stick together, keep moving, come on," Rick and Shane said, the two taking the lead, I turned around to try and hush anyone who was walking too loudly, making sure the kids were okay and that their moms were too. The others began walking faster, almost bumping into one another. A couple of 'Oh gods' were mumbled amongst the group. We were finally at the entrance of the door, all of us jogging up to it. 

"Keep together, we're almost there," I called out gently. Rick pressed against the door, it only squeaked against his weight. Shane tried pushing with his back, the door again only squeaking against the pressure but not moving. Shane began to pound on the door, it makes a loud couple of rattles. 

"There's nobody here," T-Dogg said, sounding defeated. 

"Then why are the shutters down? The only way to have them down is if someone is in here," I told him, looking around the door and down at the other shutters.

"Walkers!" Daryl called out, everyone aiming their guns at the walkers starting to come around. Carl or Sophia whimpered in fear. "You led us into a graveyard!" he exclaimed, walking furiously towards me, I back up a bit, trying to not close the distance. 

"She made a call!" Dale tried excusing. 

"It was the wrong damn call!" 

"No, there's someone in there, there has to be," I tried to explain, trying to make it seem like this was for nothing. Once he got a little too close Shane jumped in between us, shoving Daryl away. 

"Just shut up. You hear me? Shut up. Shut up!" Shane told the man, pointing at him, "(Name), this is a dead-end," Shane said, turning to look at Rick and me. 

"Where are we going to go?" Lori asked, pulling Carl into her. 

"Do you hear me? No blame," Shane told us, Rick and I looked around, trying to find anything. 

"He's right, we can't be here this close to the city after dark," Lori explained, Carl whimpered into her, the boy tightening his grip on her. 

"Fort Benning, it's still an option," Shane pleaded, desperate. 

"On what? No food, no fuel, that's 100 miles," Lori argued. 

"125, I checked the map," Glenn said, cocking his shotgun. 

"Not the time to be a smart-ass Glenn," I commented, glancing at him, giving him an exasperated look.

"Forget Fort Benning. We need answers tonight, now," Lori demanded, looking between us all. Everyone begins to talk hurriedly, repeating 'Let's go,'. I look back up at the camera, noticing it moved.

"Rick, Rick the camera, it moved, I told him, grabbing his wrist and pointing up. 

"You imagined it," Dale said, glancing at me and then back at the camera. 

"It moved," I pleaded to Rick, trying to convince him that it did. 

"It's an automated device, it's just gears. They're just winding down, come on," Shane said, grabbing my arm. I tried to stand my ground, putting all my weight down, "Man, just listen to me. Look around this place. It's dead, okay? It's dead. You need to let it go, (Name)," I pulled myself away from him, looking right at the camera, pounding on the shutter. 

"I know you're in there. I know you can hear me," I called out, anger swelling in my body. "Please we're desperate. Please help us, we have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left," I begged, tears threatening to pour out. Glenn walked up to me as I threw my hand out, pushing me back from the camera. 

"(Name), there's nobody here," Glenn tried shoving me back as I pushed against him. 

"We have nowhere else to go," I pounded against the door, almost throwing myself into it. 

"If you don't let us in, you're killing us," I screamed at the camera, tears falling already as I wiped furiously, looking back at the group. "Please!" I begged, Shane and Glenn, having to drag me away as everyone headed back to the cars. Everyone shouting over each other. I kept repeating, "You're killing us!" over and over again to the camera, fighting against the two men. Then the sound of the shutters opened behind as they threw me forwards, I stumbled a bit, catching myself and looking back, my eyes wide and tears still falling. Everyone looked at the sight, a bright light engulfing us.

#reader insert #romance #x reader #female reader #daryl dixon #glenn x reader #merle dixon x reader #quotev #rick grimes #shane x reader #daryl x reader

[i-was-bored-so-this-happened]

Greensleeves Chapter Sixteen: Here Comes The Rain Again

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Warnings: Canon-typical violence Wordcount: 4.3k

The party gets into a fight with another pack of gnolls. Xaph and Karlach are worried about Wyll's reaction to his new appearance. Gale is still struggling to sleep

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Xaph gives Wyll his distance. He probably doesn’t want reminders of his new horns. She’s waiting for him to turn around and lash out at her or Karlach - because it’s their fault, because he looks like them now, because they’re closer to the Hells than him - but it doesn’t happen. He walks in the middle of the group, often with Gale. The presence of another human seems to be helping. The tieflings hover nervously behind them, Xaph’s shoulders tensing every time Astarion tries to wheedle a reaction out of the warlock. Shadowheart and Lae’zel stalk in stony silence at the head of the party. They haven’t so much spoken as done nothing but snap at one another since returning to the camp, but it hasn’t yet come to blows. Lae’zel pulls the party to a stop at the base of the hill just past the tollhouse and Shadowheart’s irritation is audible. The tollhouse smells of burning flesh, the white-painted wood of its walls burnt black. Xaph’s not going to ask.

“Bring me the ranger,” Lae’zel says, pointedly turning her back on the half-elf and addressing the men behind her. Xaph skirts around Astarion - as far away from Wyll as possible - to draw level with the githyanki, “More of those beasts, yes? The…gnolls.” She hits the n sound a little harder than she needs to, but when Xaph crouches she can see that she’s right.

“Gnolls,” Xaph nods, “A group of them, going in the same direction we need to go in. Strange…they should have been able to track us, but they didn’t.

“But it’s raining.” Shadowheart points out. Her braid is dripping as she glares at Lae’zel, whose own hair is slick and sticking to her neck.

“That’s redundant. You four came back to us less than an hour ago, and we must be the freshest meat available between Waukeen’s Rest and Soubar, which is my best guess as to where they came from.”

“Soubar?” Shadowheart repeats.

“A settlement on the southeast side of the Boareskyr Bridge. Crawling with a variety of horrors, last I heard,” Wyll answers, “Xaph, what would keep them off our trail?”

“I don’t know. They completely ignored the tollhouse.” She can’t lie, Wyll directly addressing her calms her heartbeat a little. He doesn’t sound angry.

“What if it’s more refugees from Elturel? Stragglers that haven’t made it to the grove?” Wyll asks. 

“Then I suppose you’d want to help them.” Astarion rolls his eyes, a gesture that shows he isn’t really annoyed.

“Well, we’re going to the druid grove anyway, right?” Karlach checks, “If there are more refugees the least we can do is get them to safety.”

“A vote?” Gale proposes, “All for following the gnolls?” He raises a hand to be level with his shoulder, joining Wyll and Xaph. Karlach pushes her own hand high into the air, taller than all of them. He’s surprised to see Lae’zel joining their ranks, though she quickly offers an explanation to quell any suspicions of her feeling empathy,

“If we did not, you would all be insufferable.” Her voice is, as ever, full of gravel. Shadowheart seems to be hesitating, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Her hand flexes and her face contorts. Seeing as they already have the majority, Gale closes the vote. Their formation changes a little: Xaph spearheads, following the tracks, flanked by Lae’zel and Wyll. Shadowheart falls back, shaking her hand and saying she’d gotten a cramp from holding her flail too tightly. She frowns Karlach into forming the middle band with Astarion and Gale, leaving her with the dog and the owlbear.

They find bodies some time later. Not tieflings, which indicates that they’re not from Elturel. They’d managed to take down two gnolls before losing their lives. Shadowheart goes to the humans to search them, Gale gravitates towards the rucksacks that are spilling ration packs and scrolls and Karlach follows him. Astarion trails Xaph on her way to inspect the gnoll bodies, but he makes a retching sound when she uses a sharp knife to slice off the creature’s ears.

“The bloody hells are you doing?”

“Hyena cartilage is a common ingredient in speed potions. The earwax is pretty useful too, helps bind the whole thing together.”

“I wish I didn’t ask.” Astarion replies.

“Oh, you really don’t want to know what’s in wizardsbane then.”  She folds the ears into a pouch and adds it to a bigger bag of alchemical ingredients, but spares one each for the animals. Scratch isn’t as enthusiastic about the gift as the owlbear, and he lets the cub chew both.

“Well, now I have to.”

“Gremishka tails. You know, the anti-magic cats?”

“Yeuch.” The genuine disgust would make Xaph laugh if she wasn’t so preoccupied with thoughts of Wyll. It’s not long before the party move on, Shadowheart unsatisfied with what she finds on the people’s bodies. Gale distributes a few scrolls, bone chill for Astarion, something called scorching ray for Xaph, and a healing spell for Shadowheart that will bolster the pendant looted from a goblin that casts aid. The rest go to Wyll before the others can see them, and they continue on their way. This isn’t quite the path to Waukeen’s rest, more of an uphill climb. At least Xaph’s leg has healed well enough to manage it. The party walk for at least an hour, covering about three miles by Lae’zel’s estimation, before other lifeforms are sensed. Astarion gets it first, a deep inhale through his nose. Blood. Human, mostly. His nose wrinkles as Xaph and Karlach get the next notes, acid and fire and something distinctly canine. They veer in the direction the elf’s nose leads them, until they find blood daubed on a rock. Human blood, the vampire asserts.

“It’s the symbol of the Absolute.” Shadowheart says, slipping the amulet off over her head and holding it up to the rock to compare. It’s the same image. A blotchy handprint forms a skull, imposed over a triangle. It’s the image the goblins had painted on their shields, on conquered buildings and yes, on amulets like the one Shadowheart now has - though when she wears it she turns it so the symbol isn’t visible. It’s the same image Priestess Gut had been burning into people’s palms.

“Why would the gnolls use that symbol?” Xaph wonders aloud, “They follow Yeenoghu.”

“And the goblins followed Maglubiyet.” Wyll replies. 

“True.” Xaph acquiesces. She gestures for someone else to take the lead, flipping a hand signal that she’s taught the group indicating that they should be quiet. She’s on the hunt. Lae’zel’s voice pushes into their heads as the gnolls come into sight. The githyanki takes charge, issuing orders. Astarion is sent scampering around the rock that is currently offering the party shelter, and Wyll is sent after him. Lae’zel pairs herself with Gale and carves a path in the opposite direction, creeping towards gnoll scouts who haven’t noticed them yet. This leaves Shadowheart, Karlach and Xaph on the ground. Xaph squints in concentration, leaning on Lae’zel’s grasp of the mental connection to ask how many? It’s Wyll that answers, and she once again finds comfort in the fact that he’s not ignoring her,

Six gnolls. Two hyenas. Two humans in the cave, maybe more.

Let’s spill some blood, Astarion’s voice shoves in, on board with violence.

Yeah, we’re going to need to have a chat about that enthusiasm.

Oh, hush.

Wyll and Astarion’s voices fade as their telepathic conversation becomes whispers, and Shadowheart and Gale take prevalence. They have a semblance of a plan. Four of the gnolls are in a knot at the mouth of the cave and the two scouts Lae’zel has been edging towards are on slightly higher rocks. The two hyenas are gnawing on a corpse several feet away that shouldn’t be difficult for the rogue to dispatch. Karlach swings her sparkly new greatsword in her hand, expertly swivelling her wrist as she and Shadowheart put distance between themselves and Xaph and find flat stones to climb on. Shadowheart glances back at those of her companions she can see, waiting until they nod and confirm that they’re ready before she acts.

“Aqua pura.” Her voice is like a rush of wind and a splash in a pond at once as a cloud forms above the gnolls and then dissolves entirely into rain that falls on the beasts. Shadowheart’s spell makes an instant puddle underneath them, which only gets bigger as non-magical rain continues to fall. Before the group can break apart, Gale’s voice crackles along everyone’s spines,

“Parure.” Something very small and round is flung towards the gnolls. One of his marbles. Electricity turns the ripples of the new puddle into spikes that leap up and sink into the gnoll’s fur. The creatures hop to try and get away from the sensation, yelping at the surprise. Further away yelps indicate that Astarion and the hyenas have found each other. Humanoid shouts come from the cave, too far away for Xaph to hear over the gnolls, but fire roars at the entrance soon after and she can only hope it’s either them fighting back or a spellcaster offering cover.

When the gnolls start to crawl out of the electrified water, Xaph starts to fire arrows. She murmurs the same incantation again, again, again. Sometimes the spell hits and thickly thorned vines wrap around individual gnolls, and these are the creatures Karlach and Shadowheart zero in on. Sometimes the spell fails but the arrows stick anyway, and sometimes the arrows miss entirely. Luck of the draw. The scouts turn their bows from their visible attackers towards the fighter and wizard they’ve only just noticed. The party get lucky, and one gnoll is fried in the electrified water. When the others, not entangled by conjured vines, get too close, Xaph pulls her battleaxe and starts swinging. The problem with this is that if she loses concentration on her magicked arrows, the thorns will dissolve into the sawdust they came from and her friends will have a much harder time dealing with two gnolls each. One has slipped through Shadowheart and Karlach’s net, and there’s no way Xaph can outrun it. She yells for help, knowing she can’t handle it on her own, but everyone’s hands are full.  

It takes the others several minutes to notice her. Wyll sees her first. She’s dropped her battleaxe and is staring up at the beast in front of her. The gnoll is huge, hulking, wearing ragged semblances of clothes and clutching a broken flail made of the bones of her own kin. Both of them are twitching sporadically. Astarion can handle himself, Wyll decides. He rounds the outcropping of rock again to avoid catching anything’s attention. Something is wrong. Something is wrong with his friend and if he pulls attention to that she’ll die. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to see the ranger in front of the gnoll from the angle the barbarian comes from.

“Karlach, no!” Wyll’s voice isn’t loud enough. When Karlach’s sword slashes across the gnoll’s back, the beast roars and reels and rears back. It doesn’t even touch Xaph, but the ranger falls directly backwards when the gnoll turns away from her. Shit. Wyll slides the last few feet along the rain-slicked ground rather than runs, but he’s fast enough that the back of Xaph’s skull knocks awkwardly into his body instead of on the ground. He doesn’t know any healing spells. He doesn’t have any potions. He doesn’t even know what happened. All he knows is that his friend, this tiefling who had been the difference between him murdering Karlach and freeing her, who had kept him on the right path, is entirely unresponsive on the ground. “Shadowheart!” 

“What happened?” the cleric asks when she reaches them, out of breath, her flail bloodied.

“I don’t know.” Wyll answers. Shadowheart shifts Xaph off his knees to lie on her side.

“Hold her head.” Wyll follows the order he’s given and is relieved when he feels Xaph’s breath against the heel of his hand. Shadowheart passes her hands up and down Xaph’s body but doesn’t say anything. Coming to a conclusion, she takes a stick of what looks like chalk out of her pouch of supplies.

“What’s that?”

“A quick-snap. It’ll wake her up.” Shadowheart answers curtly. She mumbles words and Wyll’s not sure if they’re incantations or instructions or prayers, and then she breaks the stick in two under Xaph’s nose.

Xaph’s tadpole rolls, and she isn’t entirely sure it doesn’t have some of her brain matter clenched in its jaw as it does so. There are people in her head. Other worms reach out to hers while it thrashes. She doesn’t want anyone in her head. The tadpole nips at the connections and severs them one by one, but that leaves her alone in a cavern of memories that are not her own. 

Snap. A sharp vinegary smell rises to Xaph’s nose. It tickles, bringing her to the brink of sneezing. Sight and sound rush back to her together. Wyll’s voice. Balduran’s bones, no. Karlach’s yelling somewhere. Shadowheart’s braid pools into a coil on Xaph’s chest as she leans over the ranger. Smell. Vinegar in her nose, yes, but past that the intoxicatingly fresh scent of rainfall and the zing of lightning. Touch. Hands brace her jaw - to stop her from biting her tongue maybe - and the touch is vaguely familiar. One hand smooths her forehead, warm brown skin that holds swordmaster callouses. Wyll. He doesn’t look at her with the hatred she’d expected, and that’s wrong. He’s concerned, his frown of worry pulling the irritated skin on his face even tighter. He shouldn’t be.

“Get her up, get her out.” Shadowheart issues the order and then the weight of her hair is lifted from Xaph’s chest. Wyll lifts Xaph’s arm and pulls until she’s sitting up, then nudging his shoulder under hers to help her upright the way he had when they’d encountered Raphael. Xaph’s more in control in this case, and manages to take her own weight as he takes her back to the rock marked with the sign of the Absolute. He leans her back against the rock and encourages her to slide down into a sitting position.

“I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” Wyll asks. His fingers press into her neck, counting the beats of her heart. He looks so different. He’s in pain. He’s cursed. 

“I’m sorry she did this to you. I’m sorry you look like us now, and I’m so-”

“Xaph. Tell me what happened.” Wyll cuts off her blabbering firmly, blinking hard.

“The gnoll,” Xaph answers, “She had a tadpole. She was in my head. The drow are infecting gnolls at Moonrise Towers, using them as berserkers. It was a fucking warzone in there. I’ve never known anything to try and take control of gnolls, it’s ripping their brains apart.” It had felt like it was ripping her brain in half. She finds Wyll’s arm and holds it, her claws sinking into the padded fabric. He tries to pull away but she doesn’t let him. She says his name. Hells-touched eyes meet hers. “I’m sorry.”

“And what exactly are you apologising for? This,” he gestures at his own horns, “This wasn’t your fault, for standing up for Karlach. It wasn’t her fault, for escaping Zariel. It was my own foolishness. The consequences of my actions. Not yours.” Xaph takes long breaths, but doesn’t relax her grip on Wyll’s arm.

“I’m sorry.” She has to say it again. She would repeat it for hours. He’s too nice for this. He’s too good to be one of them. Hellspawn. Blackblood. People come up with new names for them at an alarming rate. Wyll doesn’t push the apology away this time, but he doesn’t vocally accept it either.

***

Every fifteen minutes of their watch shift that night, Shadowheart points out that there is still light in Gale’s tent. It’s bothering her, apparently. It’s reckless, apparently. Xaph supposes she can see her point in that. It’s the only light for miles. Everyone in the party but Gale can see perfectly well in the dark now that Wyll’s been tief’d. What’s bothering Xaph is that her reading is interrupted every fifteen minutes. She manages to get through the hours without beating her friend about the head with her book. Xaph will allow her some nitpicking, it always seems to put her at ease, and her argument with Lae’zel had reached boiling point at dinner time. Besides, it is odd. Gale’s normally out like…well, a light, as soon as he’s permitted to retreat to his tent, and he was on first watch. Soon enough, Astarion reports for his second shift at guarding, elfin meditation and vampiric nocturnality giving him a natural aptitude for staying awake twice as long as his friends. Shadowheart makes one last comment about the lights in Gale’s tent to make sure that is Xaph’s destination. Xaph tucks her book under her arm and pushes a hand through her hair as she walks towards the tent, her bare feet making quiet swish-pit-pat noises on the dry leaves. He’ll hear her approaching, and her shadow will draw familiar shapes on the blue fabric of the tent, but she kicks a tent pole in lieu of knocking on a door all the same.

“Room service?”

“Finally, I’ve been waiting on those extra pillows for hours.”

Xaph parts the flap of the tent with her tail first, giving him time to tell her he doesn’t want her company, but he encourages her in.

“I don’t think you’ll be suffering from a shortage of pillows any time soon.” She tells him once she’s ducked into the tent. It’s lit by his dancing lights, the little streams burning ice blue and unnaturally bright violet, and they spill colour onto the two main things Gale’s tent contains - cushions and books. Xaph’s been in here a handful of times, but only for a few minutes at a time. She doesn’t know how he carries all this stuff unless his pack is secretly a bag of holding, which she’s pretty sure it isn’t. “May I sit?” she asks, and Gale gestures at a pile of pillows in assent. Xaph takes her assigned place. Most of the cushions are plain squares of cool-toned fabric, but there are some brightly embroidered ones scattered about. She takes one of the latter into her lap, a worn thing with loose orange embroidery her fingers can fiddle with that’s been sat flat over time.

“That’s a Tara cushion.” Gale tells her, his eyes soft with fondness as he smiles at Xaph’s choice.

“Tara?” Xaph repeats, carefully transferring her book from her hands to the cushion.

“My cat. She likes a good cushion she can sink her claws in,” he explains. Xaph hums to acknowledge his words. Yes, this would be an excellent cushion to scratch at, “She has a very definite say in what furniture stays and goes in the tower. Destroys anything that isn’t to her taste.” While Xaph sinks into the soft stuff of the pillows piled in the corner reserved for sleeping, Gale sits ramrod straight in the middle of his tent. It’s a posture that suggests his pain is particularly bad and he’s trying to relieve the spikes of it in his spine. His hands are disconcertingly still. Circles under his eyes show his tiredness, as does the lack of colour in his face and his slow blinks.

“Are you alright? You weren’t injured today, were you?” Xaph asks. She hopes not. Lae’zel had kept him a fair distance away from the combat and had kept the gnoll scouts occupied by herself. He shakes his head. 

“What about you? You took a fair tumble.” He’s right, in a way. The gnoll’s tadpole had left her with a splitting headache and she’d stayed by the bloodied rock while Wyll had returned to the fight. Her companions had won and found a pair of Zhents in the cave. The Zhentarim was a mercenary company that sprawled across most of Faerun. Xaph knows the Zhentarim as an organisation - their biggest stronghold is atop a peak of the Sunset Mountains she’d grown up in - and the pair the party had rescued were certainly grateful for their help…in their own way. The party had found allies in this branch of the Zhentarim, at any rate. 

“Better,” Xaph says, remembering Gale’s question. His breath hitches when he breathes in a little too deeply, but he doesn’t say anything. “You should be asleep, Mr of Waterdeep.”

“Can’t,” Gale tells her, “Back’s bad…” Xaph listens, patient. Showing weakness does not come easily to the Wizard of Waterdeep. This is trust. “I’ll manage.”

“Can I help? I do owe you some comfort during would-be sleepless nights,” she reminds him. His lips quirk up at the corners when she quotes herself. “What can I do for you, Gale?” He blinks a few times, then shrugs, “I could stay with you for a little while, if you wanted.” Tents are for brief visits. No one shares their sleeping space, the closest they come to it is when multiple people want to sleep outside and set their bedrolls in a square around the firepit. When he looks at her there’s a little uncertainty in the lines of his forehead, at odds with the reflection of his dancing lights. “Not all night, if you didn’t want, but it might help. Just to have someone nearby. You’ve certainly helped me sleep better that way.” Gale thinks on this for several moments. It had worked only the night before, leaving him with dreams of stars and waking with one of Xaph’s legs still lying on top of his.

“That…I think that would be nice.”

“Come and sit with me then, bug,” Xaph tells him, wriggling to make room for him and make sure she’s adequately propped up by the cushions. Gale shuffles over to her and sits beside her, lining his leg up perfectly with hers, “You know, Shadowheart’s going to come in here and strangle you if I don’t tell you to put out the lights,” she adds, “As pretty as they are.” Gale holds up his open palm and slowly closes it into a fist, letting the lights fade rather than disappear all at once so his eyes have time to adjust. With her darkvision, Xaph can see perfectly well, if only in shades of grey. It’s quite different for him. She asks him to describe it for her while she coaxes him into relaxing. It’s slow, trying to find a position to sit in that will be conducive to falling asleep but doesn’t wedge pain between each of his vertebrae. Xaph stays perfectly still, waiting until he’s comfortable before adjusting herself. She makes a point of pressing brief touches to Gale wrist, his elbow, his shoulder, so he isn’t startled when she pushes hair behind his ear. She wants to be able to see him properly. The silver stitches in his hair are bright to her.

“There should be a quilt somewhere to your right.” Gale mumbles. It’s not hard to find, harder not to jostle the wizard as she leans to the side to pick it up and pass it to him. She expects him to simply lay it over his legs but when he unfolds it he makes sure to catch Xaph under it too, warning her so she can pick up her book and her Tara cushion. She thanks him for his consideration, and he says something about being a gentleman. She replies that having a strange tiefling woman in the dark of his tent isn’t quite gentlemanly, and they suspend this banter for a few minutes until their jokes peter out.

“Do you want me to be quiet?” Xaph whispers into the silence. Somehow it feels sudden and heavy.

“You don’t like the quiet.”

“I’m asking you.”

“No, you don’t have to be quiet. Sorry.” The apology is because his chin bumps into her shoulder.

“You’re alright,” Xaph assures him. Her fingers smooth his hair again. She feels more allowed to be in contact with him in the dark. “Relax, Gale.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m here, silly.” Xaph says, almost laughing, then she remembers he can’t see what she can. His hand is scrambling over the quilt but he can only find parts of his own body. Trying to be polite. Xaph takes his hand and pulls it across the cushion to set it on her knee. “There.” Over the fabric of the quilt, Gale’s fingers curl around the side of her leg.

“What are you reading?” He asks, and when she lowers her shoulder she feels his chin there again as though he’s trying to see the words on the cover of the book. It’s a collection of plays. Shakespeare. One of the few books she can afford to carry with her, one of only two or three that don’t pertain to medicine or survival. Precious. 

“The Tempest.” Xaph opens the book on the cushion and runs a finger down her page to find the line she was on.

“You could read, if you want.” His fingers move over her knee, drawing nonsense shapes or following a pattern on the quilt.

“Should I start at the beginning?”

“No, go from where you were.” The third time his chin bumps her shoulder he lets it stay there. Xaph reads. Gale relaxes. He puts a little more of his weight on her with each scene, occasionally retracting when pain flares and then starting the process again. She reads and he mumbles along to the lines he knows until his breaths fall out of sync with hers and the hand on her leg stills. Gently, she shifts a little lower so he won’t have such a bad crick in his neck when he wakes. She keeps reading.

#rae's writing #greensleeves #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 oc #rae's ocs #xaph [tav] #wyll ravengard #karlach #karlach cliffgate #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #astarion #astarion ancunin #lae'zel #shadowheart

[renaissanceclassics]

The Pilgrim's Progress: Part 17

Listen to: Book 2, 3rd stage, at Renaissance Classics Podcast.

So I saw in my dream that they walked on in their way, and had the weather very comfortable to them. Then CHRISTIANA began to sing, saying:

"Blest be the day that I began A pilgrim for to be; And blessed also be that man That thereto moved me. 'Tis true, 't was long ere I began To seek to live for ever: But now I run fast as I can- 'T is better late, than never.

Our tears to joy, our fears to faith, Are turned, as we see: Thus our beginning (as one saith) Shows what our end will be."

Danger and a Protector Now there was on the other side of the wall that fenced in way up which CHRISTIANA and her companions were to go, garden; and that garden belonged to him whose was that barking dog of whom mention was made before. And some of the fruit trees that grew in that garden shot their branches over the wall; and being mellow, they that found them did gather them up, and oft ate of them to their hurt. So CHRISTIANA'S boys--as boys are apt to do--being pleased with the trees, and with the fruit that did hang thereon, did pluck them, and began to eat. Their mother did also chide them for so doing; but still the boys went on. "Well," said she, "my sons, you transgress; for that fruit is none of ours." But she did not know that they did belong to the enemy; I'll warrant you if she had, she would have been ready to die for fear. But that passed, and they went on their way. Now by that they were gone about two bows' shot from the place that let them into the way, they espied two very ill favoured ones coming down apace to meet them. With that CHRISTIANA, and MERCY her friend, covered themselves with their veils; and so kept on their journey. The children also went on before; so that at last they met together. Then they that came down to meet them came just up to the women as if they would embrace them; but CHRISTIANA said, "Stand back, or go peaceably by, as you should." Yet these two, as men that are deaf, regarded not CHRISTIANA'S words; but began to lay hands upon them. At that CHRISTIANA, waxing very wroth, spurned at them with her feet. MERCY also, as well as she could, did what she could to shift them. CHRISTIANA again said to them, "Stand back, and be gone; for we have no money to lose, being pilgrims, as ye see, and such too as live upon the charity of our friends." Ill-favoured Ones. Then said one of the two men, "We make no assault upon you for money; but are come out to tell you, that if you will but grant one small request which we shall ask, we will make women of you for ever." Christiana: Now CHRISTIANA, imagining what they should mean, made answer again, "We will neither hear, nor regard, nor yield to what you shall ask. We are in haste,---cannot stay; our business is a business of life and death." So again, she and her companions made a fresh essay to go past them: but they hindered them in their way. Ill-favoured Ones. "We intend no hurt to your lives; 'tis another thing we would have." Christiana: "Aye," quoth CHRISTIANA, "you would have us body and soul, for I know 'tis for that you are come; but we will die rather upon the spot than suffer ourselves to be brought into such snares as shall hazard our wellbeing hereafter." And with that they both shrieked out, and cried, "Murder! murder!" and so put themselves under those laws that are provided for the protection of women.

"If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter: For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her." ~ Deuteronomy 22:23-27 ~

But the men still made their approach upon them, with design to prevail against them; they therefore cried out again. Now they being, as I said, not far from the gate in at which they came, their voice was heard from where they were, thither: wherefore some of the house came out, and knowing that it was CHRISTIANA'S tongue, they made haste to her relief; but by that they were got within sight of them, the women were in a very great scuffle, the children also stood crying by. Then did he that came in for their relief call out to the ruffians, saying, "What is that thing that you do? Would you make my Lord's people to transgress?" He also attempted to take them; but they did make their escape over the wall into the garden of the man to whom the great dog belonged: so the dog became their protector. This RELIEVER then came up to the women, and asked them how they did. So they answered, "We thank thy Prince, pretty well, only we have been somewhat affrighted; we thank thee also for that thou camest into our help, for otherwise we had been overcome." Reliever. So after a few more words, this RELIEVER said as follows: "I marvelled much when you were entertained at the gate above, seeing ye knew that ye were but weak women, that you petitioned not the Lord there for a conductor. Then might you have avoided these troubles and dangers; for he would have granted you one." Christiana: "Alas," said CHRISTIANA, "We were so taken with our present blessing, that dangers to come were forgotten by us; besides, who could have thought that so near the King's palace there should have lurked such naughty ones? Indeed, it had been well for us had we asked our Lord for one; but since our Lord knew 'twould be for our profit, I wonder he sent not one along with us." Rel. It is not always necessary to grant things not asked for, lest by so doing, they become of little esteem; but when the want of a thing is felt, it then comes under, in the eyes of him that feels it, that estimate that properly is its due, and so consequently will be thereafter used. Had my Lord granted you a conductor, you would not neither so have bewailed that oversight of yours in not asking for one as now you have occasion to do. So all things work for good, and tend to make you more wary. Christiana: Shall we go back again to my Lord, and confess our folly, and ask for one? Rel. Your confession of your folly I will present him with; to go back again, you need not. For in all places where you shall come, you will find no want at all; for in everyone of my Lord's lodgings which he has prepared for the reception of his pilgrims, there is sufficient to furnish them against all attempts whatsoever. But, as I said, he will be inquired of by them to do it for them;

"Thus saith the Lord GOD; I will yet for this be enquired of by the house of Israel, to do it for them; I will increase them with men like a flock." ~ Ezekiel 36:37 ~

and 'tis a poor thing that is not worth asking for. When he had thus said, he went back to his place; and the pilgrims went on their way. Mercy: Then said MERCY, "What a sudden blank is here! I made account we had now been past all danger, and that we should never see sorrow more." Christiana: "Thy innocency, my sister," said CHRISTIANA to MERCY, "may excuse thee much; but as for me, my fault is so much the greater, for that I saw this danger before I came out of the doors, and yet did not provide for it, where provision might have been had. I am, therefore, much to be blamed." Mercy: Then said MERCY, "How knew you this before you came from home? Pray open to me this riddle." Christiana: Why, I will tell you. Before I set foot out of doors, one night, as I lay in my bed, I had a dream about this; for methought I saw two men, as like these as ever the world they could look, stand at my bed's feet, plotting how they might prevent my salvation. I will tell you their very words. They said ('twas when I was in my troubles), "What shall we do with this woman; for she cries out, waking and sleeping, for forgiveness? If she be suffered to go on as she begins, we shall lose her as we have lost her husband." This, you know, might have made me take heed and have provided when provision might have been had. Mercy: "Well," said MERCY, "as by this neglect we have an occasion ministered unto us to behold our own imperfections, so our Lord has taken occasion thereby to make manifest the riches of his grace. For he, as we see, has followed us with unasked kindness; and has delivered us from their hands that were stronger than we of his mere good pleasure." Welcome at the Interpreter's House Thus now, when they had talked away a little more time, they drew nigh to a house which stood in the way, which house was built for the relief of pilgrims; as you will find more fully related in the first part of these records of the "Pilgrim's Progress." So they drew on towards the house (the house of the INTERPRETER); and when they came to the door, they heard a great talk in the house. They then gave ear, and heard, as they thought, CHRISTIANA mentioned by name; for you must know that there went along, even before her, a talk of her and her children's going on pilgrimage: and this thing was the more pleasing to them, because they had heard that she was CHRISTIAN'S wife--that woman who was some time ago so unwilling to hear of going on pilgrimage. Thus, therefore, they stood still; and heard the good people within commending her who, they little thought, stood at the door. At last CHRISTIANA knocked, as she had done at the gate before. Now when she had knocked, there came to the door a young damsel named INNOCENT, and opened the door, and looked, and behold two women were there. Damsel. Then said the damsel to them, "With whom would you speak in this place?" Christiana: CHRISTIANA answered, "We understand that this is a privileged place for those that are become pilgrims, and we now at this door are such; wherefore, we pray that we may be partakers of that for which we at this time are come: for the day, as thou seest, is very far spent, and we are loath tonight to go any farther." Damsel. Pray what may I call your name, that I may tell it to my Lord within? Christiana: My name is CHRISTIANA: I was the wife of that pilgrim that some years ago did travel this way; and these be his four children. This maiden also is my companion, and is going on pilgrimage too. Innocent. Then ran INNOCENT in (for that was her name), and said to those within, "Can you think who is at the door? There is CHRISTIANA and her children, and her companion, all waiting for entertaining here." Then they leaped for joy, and went and told their master. So he came to the door, and looking upon her, he said, "Art thou that CHRISTIANA whom CHRISTIAN, the good man, left behind him when he betook himself to a pilgrim's life?" Christiana: I am that woman that was so hard hearted as to slight my husband's troubles, and that left him to go on in his journey alone, and these are his four children; but now I also am come, for I am convinced that no way is right but this. Interpreter. Then is fulfilled that which also is written of the man that said to his son, "Go, work today in my vineyard;" and he said to his father, "I will not," but afterwards repented and went.

"He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went." ~ Matthew 21:29 ~

Christiana: Then said CHRISTIANA, "So be it: Amen. God make it a true saying upon me; and grant that I may be found at the last of him in peace without spot and blameless." Inter. "But why standest thou thus at the door? Come in, thou daughter of Abraham; we were talking of thee but now, for tidings have come to us before how thou art become a pilgrim. Come, children, come in; come, maiden, come in." So he had them all into the house. So when they were within, they were bidden to sit down and rest; the which when they had done, those that attended upon the pilgrims in the house came into the room to see them. And one smiled, and another smiled, and they all smiled for joy that CHRISTIANA was become a pilgrim. They also looked upon the boys; they stroked them over the faces with the hand, in token of their kind reception of them; they also carried it lovingly to MERCY, and bade them all welcome into their master's house. Lessons After awhile--because supper was not ready--the INTERPRETER took them into his significant rooms, and showed them what CHRISTIAN, CHRISTIANA'S husband, had seen some time before. Here, therefore, they saw the man in the cage; the man and his dream; the man that cut his way through his enemies; and the picture of the biggest of them all; together with the rest of those things that were then so profitable to CHRISTIAN. This done, and after these things had been somewhat digested by CHRISTIANA and her company, the INTERPRETER takes them apart again, and has them first into a room where was a man that could look no way but downwards, with a muck rake in his hand. There stood also One over his head with a celestial crown in his hand, and proffered to give him that crown for his muck rake; but the man did neither look up nor regard, but raked to himself the straws, the small sticks, and dust of the floor. Then said CHRISTIANA, "I persuade myself that I know somewhat the meaning of this; for this is a figure of a man of this world. Is it not, good sir?" Inter. "Thou hast said the right," said he: "and his muck rake doth show his carnal mind. And whereas thou seest him rather give heed to rake up straws and sticks, and the dust of the floor, than to what he says that calls to him from above with the celestial crown in his hand, it is to show that heaven is but as a fable to some, and that things here are counted the only things substantial. Now, whereas it was also showed thee that the man could look no way but downwards, it is to let thee know that earthly things, when they are with power upon men's minds, quite carry their hearts away from God." Christiana: Then said CHRISTIANA, "Oh, deliver me from this muck rake!" Inter. "That prayer," said the INTERPRETER, "has been lain by till 'tis almost rusty. 'Give me not riches'

"Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me:" ~ Proverbs 30:8 ~

is scarce the prayer of one of ten thousand. Straws, and sticks, and dust, with most are the great things now looked after." With that MERCY and CHRISTIANA wept and said, "It is, alas ! too true." When the INTERPRETER had showed them this, he has them into the very best room in the house (a very brave room it was); so he bade them look round about, and see if they could find anything profitable there. Then they looked round and round; for there was nothing there to be seen but a very great spider on the wall, and that they overlooked. Mercy: Then said MERCY, "Sir, I see nothing." But CHRISTIANA held her peace. Inter. But said the INTERPRETER, "Look again." She therefore looked again, and said, "Here is not anything but an ugly spider, who hangs by her hands upon the wall." Then said he, "Is there but one spider in all this spacious room?" Then the water stood in CHRISTIANA'S eyes, for she was a woman quick of apprehension, and she said, "Yes, Lord, there is here more than one; yea, and spiders whose venom is far more destructive than that which is in her." The INTERPRETER then looked pleasantly upon her, and said, "Thou hast said the truth." This made MERCY blush, and the boys to cover their faces; for they all began now to understand the riddle. Then said the INTERPRETER again, "The spider takes hold with her hands," as you see, "and is in kings' palaces.

"The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings' palaces." ~ Proverbs 30:28 ~

And wherefore is this recorded, but to show you, that how full of the venom of sin soever you be, yet you may, by the hand of faith, lay hold of, and dwell in the best room that belongs to the King's house above? Christiana: "I thought," said CHRISTIANA, "Of something of this; but I could not imagine it all. I thought that we were like spiders, and that we looked like ugly creatures, in what fine room soever we were; but that by this spider, this venomous and ill favoured creature, we were to learn how to act faith, that came not into my mind. And yet she has taken hold with her hands, as I see, and dwells in the best room in the house. God has made nothing in vain." Then they seemed all to be glad; but the water stood in their eyes. Yet they looked one upon another, and also bowed before the INTERPRETER. He had them then into another room where was a hen and chickens, and bid them to observe awhile. So one of the chickens went to the trough to drink; and every time she drank, she lifted up her head and her eyes towards heaven. "See," said he, "what this little chick doth; and learn of her to acknowledge whence your mercies come, by receiving them with looking up. Yet again," said he, "observe and look." So they gave heed, and perceived that the hen did walk in a fourfold method towards her chickens. 1. She had a common call; and that she hath all day long. 2. She had a special call; and that she had but sometimes. 3. She had a brooding note. And, 4. She had an outcry.

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!" ~ Matthew 23:37 ~

Inter. "Now," said he, "compare this hen to your King, and these chickens to his obedient ones. For answerable to her, himself has his methods, which he walks in towards his people. By his common call, he gives nothing; by his special call, he always has something to give; he has also a brooding voice for them that are under his wing; and he has an outcry, to give the alarm when he sees the enemy come. I choose, my darlings, to lead you into the room where such things are, because you are women, and they are easy for you." Christiana: "And, sir," said CHRISTIANA, "pray let us see some more." So he had them into the slaughter house, where a butcher was killing a sheep. And behold the sheep was quiet, and took her death patiently. Then said the INTERPRETER, "You must learn of this sheep to suffer and to put up wrongs without murmurings and complaints. Behold how quietly she takes her death; and without objecting, she suffers her skin to be pulled over her ears. Your King doth call you his sheep." After this, he led them into his garden, where was great variety of flowers. And he said, "Do you see all these?" So CHRISTIANA said, "Yes." Then said he again, "Behold the flowers are divers in stature, in quality, in colour, and smell, and virtue, and some are better than others. Also, where the gardener has set them, there they stand; and quarrel not one with another." Again, he had them into his field, which he had sowed with wheat and corn; but when they beheld, the tops of all were cut off, only the straw remained. He said again, "This ground was dunged, and ploughed, and sowed; but what shall we do with the crop?" Then said CHRISTIANA, "Burn some, and make muck of the rest." Then said the INTERPRETER again, "Fruit you see, is that thing you look for; and for want of that you condemn it to the fire, and to be trodden under foot of men. Beware that in this you condemn not yourselves." Then, as they were coming in from abroad, they espied a little robin with a great spider in his mouth. So the INTERPRETER said, "Look here." So they looked; and MERCY wondered. But CHRISTIANA said, "What a disparagement is it to such a pretty little bird as the robin redbreast is; he being also a bird above many, that loves to maintain a kind of sociableness with man! I had thought they had lived upon crumbs of bread, or upon other such harmless matter. I like him worse than I did." The INTERPRETER then replied, "This robin is an emblem very apt to set forth some professors by; for to sight they are as this robin, pretty of note, colour, and carriage; they seem also to have a very great love for professors that are sincere; and above all other, to desire to sociate with and to be in their company, as if they could live upon the good man's crumbs. They pretend also, that therefore it is that they frequent the house of the godly, and the appointments of the Lord; but when they are by themselves as the robin, they can catch and gobble up spiders, they can change their diet, drink iniquity, and swallow down sin like water." So when they were come again into the house and supper as yet was not ready, CHRISTIANA again desired that the INTERPRETER would either show or tell of some other things that are profitable. Then the INTERPRETER began, and said, "The fatter the sow is, the more she desires the mire; the fatter the ox is, the more gamesomely he goes to the slaughter; and the more healthy the lusty man is, the more prone he is unto evil. "There is a desire in women to go neat and fine; and it's a comely thing to be adorned with that which in God's sight is of great price. "'Tis easier watching a night or two, than to sit up a whole year together: so 'tis easier for one to begin to profess well, than to hold out as he should to the end. "Every shipmaster, when in a storm, will willingly cast that overboard that is of the smallest value in the vessel. But who will throw the best out first? none but he that fears not God. "One leak will sink a ship: and one sin will destroy a sinner. "He that forgets his friend, is ungrateful unto him: but he that forgets his Saviour, is unmerciful to himself. "He that lives in sin, and looks for happiness hereafter, is like him that sows cockle, and thinks to fill his barn with wheat or barley. "If a man would live well, let him fetch his last day to him, and make it always his company keeper. "Whispering and change of thoughts, prove that sin is in the world. "If the world, which God sets light by, is counted a thing of that worth with men; what is heaven, which God commends! "If the life that is attended with so many troubles is so loath to be let go by us, what is the life above! "Everybody will cry up the goodness of men; but who is there that is, as he should be, affected with the goodness of God? "We seldom sit down to meat, but we eat and leave; so there is in Jesus Christ more merit and righteousness than the whole world has need of." When the INTERPRETER had done, he takes them out into his garden again, and had them to a tree, whose inside was all rotten and gone, and yet it grew and had leaves. Then said MERCY, "What means this?" "This tree," said he, "whose outside is fair, and whose inside is rotten, it is to which many may be compared that are in the garden of God; who, with their mouths, speak high in behalf of God, but indeed will do nothing for him; whose leaves are fair, but their heart good for nothing but to be tinder for the devil's tinderbox." Supper with the Interpreter Now supper was ready, the table spread, and all things set on the board. So they sat down, and did eat, when one had given thanks. And the INTERPRETER did usually entertain those that lodged with him with music at meals; so the minstrels played. There was also one that did sing; and a very fine voice he had. His song was this: "The Lord is only my support And he that doth me feed: How can I, then want anything Where of I stand in need?. When the song and music were ended, the INTERPRETER asked CHRISTIANA what it was that at first did move her to betake herself to a pilgrim's life? CHRISTIANA answered, "First the loss of my husband came into my mind, at which I was heartily grieved; but all that was but natural affection. Then, after that, came the troubles and pilgrimage of my husband into my mind; and also how like a churl I had carried it to him as to that. So guilt took hold of my mind, and would have drawn me into the pond; but that opportunely I had a dream of the wellbeing of my husband, and a letter sent me by the King of that country where my husband dwells, to come to him. The dream and the letter together so wrought upon my mind, that they forced me to this way." Inter. But met you with no opposition afore you set out of doors? Christiana: Yes; a neighbour of mine, one Mrs. TIMOROUS (she was akin to him that would have persuaded my husband to go back for fear of the lions). She all-to-befooled me for--as she called it--my intended desperate adventure. She also urged what she could to dishearten me to it,--the hardship and troubles that my husband met with in the way, but all this I got over pretty well. But a dream that I had, of two ill looking ones, that I thought did plot how to make me miscarry in my journey, that hath troubled me much; yea, it still runs in my mind, and makes me afraid of everyone that I meet, lest they should meet me to do me a mischief, and to turn me out of the way. Yea, I may tell my lord, though I would not have everybody know it, that between this and the gate by which we got into the way, we were both so sorely assaulted, that we were made to cry out "murder": and the two that made this assault upon us were like the two that I saw in my dream. Inter. Then said the INTERPRETER, "Thy beginning is good; thy latter end shall greatly increase." So he addressed himself to MERCY, and said unto her, "And what moved thee to come hither, sweetheart?" Then MERCY blushed and trembled; and for awhile continued silent. Inter. Then said he, "Be not afraid; only believe, and speak thy mind." Mercy: So she began, and said, "Truly, sir, my want of experience is that that makes me covet to be in silence; and that also that fills me with fears of coming short at last. I cannot tell of visions and dreams, as my friend CHRISTIANA can; nor know I what it is to mourn for my refusing of the counsel of those that were good relations." Inter. What was it, then, dear heart, that hath prevailed with thee to do as thou hast done? Mercy: Why, when our friend here was packing up to be gone from our town, I and another went accidentally to see her; so we knocked at the door and went in. When we were within, and seeing what she was doing, we asked what was her meaning. She said she was sent for to go to her husband; and then she up and told us how she had seen him in a dream, dwelling in a curious place among immortals, wearing a crown, playing upon a harp, eating and drinking at his Prince's table, and singing praises to him for bringing him thither, etc. Now, methought while she was telling these things unto us, my heart burned within me; and I said in my heart, if this be true, I will leave my father and my mother, and the land of my nativity, and will, if I may, go along with CHRISTIANA. So I asked her further of the truth of these things, and if she would let me go with her; for I saw now that there was no dwelling, but with the danger of ruin, any longer in our town. But yet I came away with a heavy heart; not for that I was unwilling to come away, but for that so many of my relations were left behind. And I am come with all the desire of my heart; and will go, if I may, with CHRISTIANA unto her husband and his King. Inter. Thy setting out is good; for thou hast given credit to the truth. Thou art a Ruth; who did, for the love that she bore to Naomi, and to the Lord her God, leave father and mother, and the land of her nativity, to come out, and go with a people that she knew not heretofore. "The Lord recompense thy work; and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to truth".

"And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore. The LORD recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust." ~ Ruth 2:11, 12 ~

Now supper was ended, and preparation was made for bed; the women were laid singly alone, and the boys by themselves. Now when MERCY was in bed, she could not sleep for joy, for that now her doubts of missing at last were removed farther from her than ever they were before; so she lay blessing and praising God, who had had such favour for her.

Cleaned, Sealed and Clothed In the morning they arose with the sun, and prepared themselves for their departure; but the INTERPRETER would have them tarry awhile, "For," said he, "you must orderly go from hence." Then said he to the damsel that at first opened unto them, "Take them, and have them into the garden to the bath; and there wash them, and make them clean from the soil which they have gathered by travelling." Then INNOCENT, the damsel, took them, and had them into the garden, and brought them to the bath; so she told them that there they must wash and be clean, for so her master would have the women to do that called at his house as they were going on pilgrimage. Then they went in and washed, yea, they and the boys and all; and they came out of that bath, not only sweet and clean, but also much enlivened and strengthened in their joints: so when they came in, they looked fairer a deal than when they went out to the washing. When they were returned out of the garden from the bath, the INTERPRETER took them, and looked upon them, and said unto them, "Fair as the moon." Then he called for the seal wherewith they used to be sealed that were washed in his bath. So the seal was brought, and he set his mark upon them, that they might be known in the places whither they were yet to go. Now the seal was the contents and sum of the Passover which the children of Israel did eat when they came out from the land of Egypt,

"And thou shalt shew thy son in that day, saying, This is done because of that which the LORD did unto me when I came forth out of Egypt. And it shall be for a sign unto thee upon thine hand, and for a memorial between thine eyes, that the LORD'S law may be in thy mouth: for with a strong hand hath the LORD brought thee out of Egypt. Thou shalt therefore keep this ordinance in his season from year to year." ~ Exodus 13:8-10 ~

and the mark was set between their eyes. This seal greatly added to their beauty, for it was an ornament to their faces; it also added to their gravity, and made their countenances more like those of angels. Then said the INTERPRETER again to the damsel that waited upon these women, "Go into the vestry, and fetch out garments for these people." So she went, and fetched out white raiment, and laid it down before him; so he commanded them to put it on. It was fine linen, white and clean. When the women were thus adorned, they seemed to be a terror one to the other; for that they could not see that glory each one on herself which they could see in each other. Now therefore, they began to esteem each other better than themselves; "For you are fairer than I am," said one; "And you are more comely than I am," said another. The children also stood amazed to see into what fashion they were brought.

#podcast #audio #story #pilgrim's progress #john bunyan #christian #fiction #renaissance #awakening #allegory #heaven

[bulgariant]

THE FIRES AT PARA

Going out in the day-time, it is not difficult to find traces of the fights of the night about the limbs of all the street-dogs. There is not one, amongst their vast number, in the enjoyment of a perfect skin. Some have their ears gnawed away or pulled off; others have had their eyes taken out; from the backs and haunches of others, perfect steaks of flesh have been torn away; and all bear the sears of desperate combats.

Wild and desperate as is their nature, these poor animals are susceptible of kindness. If a scrap of bread is thrown to one of them now and then, he does not forget it; for they have, at times, a hard matter to live, — not the dogs amongst the shops of Galata or Stamboul, but those whose “parish” lies in the largo burying- grounds and desert-places without the city; for each keeps, or rather is kept, to his district; and if he chanced to venture into a strange one, the odds against his return would be very large. One battered old animal, to whom I used occasionally to toss a scrap of food, always followed me from the hotel to the cross-street at Pera, where tho two soldiers stand on guard, but would never come beyond this point. He knew the fate that awaited him had he done so; and, therefore, when I left him, he would lie down in the road and go to sleep until I came back. When a horse or camel dies, and is left about the roads near the city, the bones are soon picked very clean by these dogs, and they will carry the skull or pelvis to a great distance. I was told that they will eat their (lead fellows —a curious fact, I believe, in canine economy.

They are always troublesome— not to say dangerous — at night; and are especially irritated by Europeans, whom they will single out amongst a crowd of Levantines.

The second day I was at Constantinople l had a bath, in the proper Turkish fashion ; and this was quite as novel in its way as everything else had been. The establishment patronized was the head one in tStamboul ; and wo went from the street into a very large hall, entirely of marble, with a gallery round the walls, in which were couches, as well as down below. On these, different visitors are reposing; some covered np and lying quite still, others smokine narghiles and drinking eoll’ee. Towels and cloths were drying on lines, and in the corner was a little shed, serving as a Cafe.

We went up stairs and undressed, giving our watches and money to the attendant, who tied our clothes up iu a bundle, lie then tucked a colored wrapper round our waists, and threw a towel over our shoulders, after which we walked down stairs, and put on some wooden clogs at the door of the next apartment. The first thing these did, was tc send me head over heels, to the great discomfiture of my temporary costume, and equal delight of the bathers there assembled. We remained in this room, which was of an increased temperature, idling upon other couches, until we were pronounced ready to go into the second chamber. I contrived, with great care and anxiety, to totter into it upon my clogs, and found another apartment of marble, very warm indeed, and lighted from the top by a dome of glass “bull’s-eyes.” In the middle of this chamber was a hot raised octagon platform, also of marble, and in the recesses of the sides wore marble vases, and tanks, with taps for hot and cold water, and channels in the floor to carry off the suds.

Like wild Indians than Turks

Two savage private tour ephesus, unearthly boys, their heads all shaved, with the exception of a tuft on the top, and, in their scant costume of a towel only, looking more like wild Indians than Turks, now seized hold of me, and, forcing me back upon the hot marble floor, commenced a dreadful series of tortures, such as I had only read of as per-taining to the dark ages. It was of no use to resist. They clutched hold of the back of my neck, and I thought they were going to strangle me; then they pulled at my arms and legs, and 1 thought again they were going to put me on the rack; and, lastly, when they both began to roll backwards and forwards on my chest, doubling my cracking elbows underneath them, I thought, finally, that my last minute was come, and that death by suffocation would finish me. They were fiends, and evidently delighted in my agony; not allowing me to look to the right or left after my companions, and throwing themselves on me again, whenever they conceived I was going to call the dragoman to ml assistance. I do not know that 1 ever passed such a frightful five minutes, connected with bathing, nervous as are some of

the feelings which that pastime gives rise to. It is very terrible to take the first summer plunge into a deep dark river, and when you are at the bottom, and the water is roaring in your ears, to think of dead bodies and crocodiles; it is almost worse to make that frightful journey down a steep beach, in a bathing machine, with a vague incertitude as to where you will find yourself when the doors open again : but nothing can come up to what I suffered in my last extremity, in this Constantinople bath. Thoughts of Turkish cruelty and the sacks of the Bosphorus; of home, and friends, and my childhood’s bowers — of the sadness of being murdered in a foreign bath — and the probability of my Giaour body being eaten by the wild dogs, crowded rapidly on me as these demons increased their tortures; until, collecting all my strength for one last effort, I contrived to throw them off, one to the right and the other to the left, some half dozen feet—and regained iny legs.

#THE FIRES AT PARA

[bulgariablo]

THE FIRES AT PARA

Going out in the day-time, it is not difficult to find traces of the fights of the night about the limbs of all the street-dogs. There is not one, amongst their vast number, in the enjoyment of a perfect skin. Some have their ears gnawed away or pulled off; others have had their eyes taken out; from the backs and haunches of others, perfect steaks of flesh have been torn away; and all bear the sears of desperate combats.

Wild and desperate as is their nature, these poor animals are susceptible of kindness. If a scrap of bread is thrown to one of them now and then, he does not forget it; for they have, at times, a hard matter to live, — not the dogs amongst the shops of Galata or Stamboul, but those whose “parish” lies in the largo burying- grounds and desert-places without the city; for each keeps, or rather is kept, to his district; and if he chanced to venture into a strange one, the odds against his return would be very large. One battered old animal, to whom I used occasionally to toss a scrap of food, always followed me from the hotel to the cross-street at Pera, where tho two soldiers stand on guard, but would never come beyond this point. He knew the fate that awaited him had he done so; and, therefore, when I left him, he would lie down in the road and go to sleep until I came back. When a horse or camel dies, and is left about the roads near the city, the bones are soon picked very clean by these dogs, and they will carry the skull or pelvis to a great distance. I was told that they will eat their (lead fellows —a curious fact, I believe, in canine economy.

They are always troublesome— not to say dangerous — at night; and are especially irritated by Europeans, whom they will single out amongst a crowd of Levantines.

The second day I was at Constantinople l had a bath, in the proper Turkish fashion ; and this was quite as novel in its way as everything else had been. The establishment patronized was the head one in tStamboul ; and wo went from the street into a very large hall, entirely of marble, with a gallery round the walls, in which were couches, as well as down below. On these, different visitors are reposing; some covered np and lying quite still, others smokine narghiles and drinking eoll’ee. Towels and cloths were drying on lines, and in the corner was a little shed, serving as a Cafe.

We went up stairs and undressed, giving our watches and money to the attendant, who tied our clothes up iu a bundle, lie then tucked a colored wrapper round our waists, and threw a towel over our shoulders, after which we walked down stairs, and put on some wooden clogs at the door of the next apartment. The first thing these did, was tc send me head over heels, to the great discomfiture of my temporary costume, and equal delight of the bathers there assembled. We remained in this room, which was of an increased temperature, idling upon other couches, until we were pronounced ready to go into the second chamber. I contrived, with great care and anxiety, to totter into it upon my clogs, and found another apartment of marble, very warm indeed, and lighted from the top by a dome of glass “bull’s-eyes.” In the middle of this chamber was a hot raised octagon platform, also of marble, and in the recesses of the sides wore marble vases, and tanks, with taps for hot and cold water, and channels in the floor to carry off the suds.

Like wild Indians than Turks

Two savage private tour ephesus, unearthly boys, their heads all shaved, with the exception of a tuft on the top, and, in their scant costume of a towel only, looking more like wild Indians than Turks, now seized hold of me, and, forcing me back upon the hot marble floor, commenced a dreadful series of tortures, such as I had only read of as per-taining to the dark ages. It was of no use to resist. They clutched hold of the back of my neck, and I thought they were going to strangle me; then they pulled at my arms and legs, and 1 thought again they were going to put me on the rack; and, lastly, when they both began to roll backwards and forwards on my chest, doubling my cracking elbows underneath them, I thought, finally, that my last minute was come, and that death by suffocation would finish me. They were fiends, and evidently delighted in my agony; not allowing me to look to the right or left after my companions, and throwing themselves on me again, whenever they conceived I was going to call the dragoman to ml assistance. I do not know that 1 ever passed such a frightful five minutes, connected with bathing, nervous as are some of

the feelings which that pastime gives rise to. It is very terrible to take the first summer plunge into a deep dark river, and when you are at the bottom, and the water is roaring in your ears, to think of dead bodies and crocodiles; it is almost worse to make that frightful journey down a steep beach, in a bathing machine, with a vague incertitude as to where you will find yourself when the doors open again : but nothing can come up to what I suffered in my last extremity, in this Constantinople bath. Thoughts of Turkish cruelty and the sacks of the Bosphorus; of home, and friends, and my childhood’s bowers — of the sadness of being murdered in a foreign bath — and the probability of my Giaour body being eaten by the wild dogs, crowded rapidly on me as these demons increased their tortures; until, collecting all my strength for one last effort, I contrived to throw them off, one to the right and the other to the left, some half dozen feet—and regained iny legs.

#THE FIRES AT PARA

[sofiaburgas]

THE FIRES AT PARA

Going out in the day-time, it is not difficult to find traces of the fights of the night about the limbs of all the street-dogs. There is not one, amongst their vast number, in the enjoyment of a perfect skin. Some have their ears gnawed away or pulled off; others have had their eyes taken out; from the backs and haunches of others, perfect steaks of flesh have been torn away; and all bear the sears of desperate combats.

Wild and desperate as is their nature, these poor animals are susceptible of kindness. If a scrap of bread is thrown to one of them now and then, he does not forget it; for they have, at times, a hard matter to live, — not the dogs amongst the shops of Galata or Stamboul, but those whose “parish” lies in the largo burying- grounds and desert-places without the city; for each keeps, or rather is kept, to his district; and if he chanced to venture into a strange one, the odds against his return would be very large. One battered old animal, to whom I used occasionally to toss a scrap of food, always followed me from the hotel to the cross-street at Pera, where tho two soldiers stand on guard, but would never come beyond this point. He knew the fate that awaited him had he done so; and, therefore, when I left him, he would lie down in the road and go to sleep until I came back. When a horse or camel dies, and is left about the roads near the city, the bones are soon picked very clean by these dogs, and they will carry the skull or pelvis to a great distance. I was told that they will eat their (lead fellows —a curious fact, I believe, in canine economy.

They are always troublesome— not to say dangerous — at night; and are especially irritated by Europeans, whom they will single out amongst a crowd of Levantines.

The second day I was at Constantinople l had a bath, in the proper Turkish fashion ; and this was quite as novel in its way as everything else had been. The establishment patronized was the head one in tStamboul ; and wo went from the street into a very large hall, entirely of marble, with a gallery round the walls, in which were couches, as well as down below. On these, different visitors are reposing; some covered np and lying quite still, others smokine narghiles and drinking eoll’ee. Towels and cloths were drying on lines, and in the corner was a little shed, serving as a Cafe.

We went up stairs and undressed, giving our watches and money to the attendant, who tied our clothes up iu a bundle, lie then tucked a colored wrapper round our waists, and threw a towel over our shoulders, after which we walked down stairs, and put on some wooden clogs at the door of the next apartment. The first thing these did, was tc send me head over heels, to the great discomfiture of my temporary costume, and equal delight of the bathers there assembled. We remained in this room, which was of an increased temperature, idling upon other couches, until we were pronounced ready to go into the second chamber. I contrived, with great care and anxiety, to totter into it upon my clogs, and found another apartment of marble, very warm indeed, and lighted from the top by a dome of glass “bull’s-eyes.” In the middle of this chamber was a hot raised octagon platform, also of marble, and in the recesses of the sides wore marble vases, and tanks, with taps for hot and cold water, and channels in the floor to carry off the suds.

Like wild Indians than Turks

Two savage private tour ephesus, unearthly boys, their heads all shaved, with the exception of a tuft on the top, and, in their scant costume of a towel only, looking more like wild Indians than Turks, now seized hold of me, and, forcing me back upon the hot marble floor, commenced a dreadful series of tortures, such as I had only read of as per-taining to the dark ages. It was of no use to resist. They clutched hold of the back of my neck, and I thought they were going to strangle me; then they pulled at my arms and legs, and 1 thought again they were going to put me on the rack; and, lastly, when they both began to roll backwards and forwards on my chest, doubling my cracking elbows underneath them, I thought, finally, that my last minute was come, and that death by suffocation would finish me. They were fiends, and evidently delighted in my agony; not allowing me to look to the right or left after my companions, and throwing themselves on me again, whenever they conceived I was going to call the dragoman to ml assistance. I do not know that 1 ever passed such a frightful five minutes, connected with bathing, nervous as are some of

the feelings which that pastime gives rise to. It is very terrible to take the first summer plunge into a deep dark river, and when you are at the bottom, and the water is roaring in your ears, to think of dead bodies and crocodiles; it is almost worse to make that frightful journey down a steep beach, in a bathing machine, with a vague incertitude as to where you will find yourself when the doors open again : but nothing can come up to what I suffered in my last extremity, in this Constantinople bath. Thoughts of Turkish cruelty and the sacks of the Bosphorus; of home, and friends, and my childhood’s bowers — of the sadness of being murdered in a foreign bath — and the probability of my Giaour body being eaten by the wild dogs, crowded rapidly on me as these demons increased their tortures; until, collecting all my strength for one last effort, I contrived to throw them off, one to the right and the other to the left, some half dozen feet—and regained iny legs.

#THE FIRES AT PARA

[everybg]

THE FIRES AT PARA

Going out in the day-time, it is not difficult to find traces of the fights of the night about the limbs of all the street-dogs. There is not one, amongst their vast number, in the enjoyment of a perfect skin. Some have their ears gnawed away or pulled off; others have had their eyes taken out; from the backs and haunches of others, perfect steaks of flesh have been torn away; and all bear the sears of desperate combats.

Wild and desperate as is their nature, these poor animals are susceptible of kindness. If a scrap of bread is thrown to one of them now and then, he does not forget it; for they have, at times, a hard matter to live, — not the dogs amongst the shops of Galata or Stamboul, but those whose “parish” lies in the largo burying- grounds and desert-places without the city; for each keeps, or rather is kept, to his district; and if he chanced to venture into a strange one, the odds against his return would be very large. One battered old animal, to whom I used occasionally to toss a scrap of food, always followed me from the hotel to the cross-street at Pera, where tho two soldiers stand on guard, but would never come beyond this point. He knew the fate that awaited him had he done so; and, therefore, when I left him, he would lie down in the road and go to sleep until I came back. When a horse or camel dies, and is left about the roads near the city, the bones are soon picked very clean by these dogs, and they will carry the skull or pelvis to a great distance. I was told that they will eat their (lead fellows —a curious fact, I believe, in canine economy.

They are always troublesome— not to say dangerous — at night; and are especially irritated by Europeans, whom they will single out amongst a crowd of Levantines.

The second day I was at Constantinople l had a bath, in the proper Turkish fashion ; and this was quite as novel in its way as everything else had been. The establishment patronized was the head one in tStamboul ; and wo went from the street into a very large hall, entirely of marble, with a gallery round the walls, in which were couches, as well as down below. On these, different visitors are reposing; some covered np and lying quite still, others smokine narghiles and drinking eoll’ee. Towels and cloths were drying on lines, and in the corner was a little shed, serving as a Cafe.

We went up stairs and undressed, giving our watches and money to the attendant, who tied our clothes up iu a bundle, lie then tucked a colored wrapper round our waists, and threw a towel over our shoulders, after which we walked down stairs, and put on some wooden clogs at the door of the next apartment. The first thing these did, was tc send me head over heels, to the great discomfiture of my temporary costume, and equal delight of the bathers there assembled. We remained in this room, which was of an increased temperature, idling upon other couches, until we were pronounced ready to go into the second chamber. I contrived, with great care and anxiety, to totter into it upon my clogs, and found another apartment of marble, very warm indeed, and lighted from the top by a dome of glass “bull’s-eyes.” In the middle of this chamber was a hot raised octagon platform, also of marble, and in the recesses of the sides wore marble vases, and tanks, with taps for hot and cold water, and channels in the floor to carry off the suds.

Like wild Indians than Turks

Two savage private tour ephesus, unearthly boys, their heads all shaved, with the exception of a tuft on the top, and, in their scant costume of a towel only, looking more like wild Indians than Turks, now seized hold of me, and, forcing me back upon the hot marble floor, commenced a dreadful series of tortures, such as I had only read of as per-taining to the dark ages. It was of no use to resist. They clutched hold of the back of my neck, and I thought they were going to strangle me; then they pulled at my arms and legs, and 1 thought again they were going to put me on the rack; and, lastly, when they both began to roll backwards and forwards on my chest, doubling my cracking elbows underneath them, I thought, finally, that my last minute was come, and that death by suffocation would finish me. They were fiends, and evidently delighted in my agony; not allowing me to look to the right or left after my companions, and throwing themselves on me again, whenever they conceived I was going to call the dragoman to ml assistance. I do not know that 1 ever passed such a frightful five minutes, connected with bathing, nervous as are some of

the feelings which that pastime gives rise to. It is very terrible to take the first summer plunge into a deep dark river, and when you are at the bottom, and the water is roaring in your ears, to think of dead bodies and crocodiles; it is almost worse to make that frightful journey down a steep beach, in a bathing machine, with a vague incertitude as to where you will find yourself when the doors open again : but nothing can come up to what I suffered in my last extremity, in this Constantinople bath. Thoughts of Turkish cruelty and the sacks of the Bosphorus; of home, and friends, and my childhood’s bowers — of the sadness of being murdered in a foreign bath — and the probability of my Giaour body being eaten by the wild dogs, crowded rapidly on me as these demons increased their tortures; until, collecting all my strength for one last effort, I contrived to throw them off, one to the right and the other to the left, some half dozen feet—and regained iny legs.

#THE FIRES AT PARA

[bulgarianqueens]

THE FIRES AT PARA

Going out in the day-time, it is not difficult to find traces of the fights of the night about the limbs of all the street-dogs. There is not one, amongst their vast number, in the enjoyment of a perfect skin. Some have their ears gnawed away or pulled off; others have had their eyes taken out; from the backs and haunches of others, perfect steaks of flesh have been torn away; and all bear the sears of desperate combats.

Wild and desperate as is their nature, these poor animals are susceptible of kindness. If a scrap of bread is thrown to one of them now and then, he does not forget it; for they have, at times, a hard matter to live, — not the dogs amongst the shops of Galata or Stamboul, but those whose “parish” lies in the largo burying- grounds and desert-places without the city; for each keeps, or rather is kept, to his district; and if he chanced to venture into a strange one, the odds against his return would be very large. One battered old animal, to whom I used occasionally to toss a scrap of food, always followed me from the hotel to the cross-street at Pera, where tho two soldiers stand on guard, but would never come beyond this point. He knew the fate that awaited him had he done so; and, therefore, when I left him, he would lie down in the road and go to sleep until I came back. When a horse or camel dies, and is left about the roads near the city, the bones are soon picked very clean by these dogs, and they will carry the skull or pelvis to a great distance. I was told that they will eat their (lead fellows —a curious fact, I believe, in canine economy.

They are always troublesome— not to say dangerous — at night; and are especially irritated by Europeans, whom they will single out amongst a crowd of Levantines.

The second day I was at Constantinople l had a bath, in the proper Turkish fashion ; and this was quite as novel in its way as everything else had been. The establishment patronized was the head one in tStamboul ; and wo went from the street into a very large hall, entirely of marble, with a gallery round the walls, in which were couches, as well as down below. On these, different visitors are reposing; some covered np and lying quite still, others smokine narghiles and drinking eoll’ee. Towels and cloths were drying on lines, and in the corner was a little shed, serving as a Cafe.

We went up stairs and undressed, giving our watches and money to the attendant, who tied our clothes up iu a bundle, lie then tucked a colored wrapper round our waists, and threw a towel over our shoulders, after which we walked down stairs, and put on some wooden clogs at the door of the next apartment. The first thing these did, was tc send me head over heels, to the great discomfiture of my temporary costume, and equal delight of the bathers there assembled. We remained in this room, which was of an increased temperature, idling upon other couches, until we were pronounced ready to go into the second chamber. I contrived, with great care and anxiety, to totter into it upon my clogs, and found another apartment of marble, very warm indeed, and lighted from the top by a dome of glass “bull’s-eyes.” In the middle of this chamber was a hot raised octagon platform, also of marble, and in the recesses of the sides wore marble vases, and tanks, with taps for hot and cold water, and channels in the floor to carry off the suds.

Like wild Indians than Turks

Two savage private tour ephesus, unearthly boys, their heads all shaved, with the exception of a tuft on the top, and, in their scant costume of a towel only, looking more like wild Indians than Turks, now seized hold of me, and, forcing me back upon the hot marble floor, commenced a dreadful series of tortures, such as I had only read of as per-taining to the dark ages. It was of no use to resist. They clutched hold of the back of my neck, and I thought they were going to strangle me; then they pulled at my arms and legs, and 1 thought again they were going to put me on the rack; and, lastly, when they both began to roll backwards and forwards on my chest, doubling my cracking elbows underneath them, I thought, finally, that my last minute was come, and that death by suffocation would finish me. They were fiends, and evidently delighted in my agony; not allowing me to look to the right or left after my companions, and throwing themselves on me again, whenever they conceived I was going to call the dragoman to ml assistance. I do not know that 1 ever passed such a frightful five minutes, connected with bathing, nervous as are some of

the feelings which that pastime gives rise to. It is very terrible to take the first summer plunge into a deep dark river, and when you are at the bottom, and the water is roaring in your ears, to think of dead bodies and crocodiles; it is almost worse to make that frightful journey down a steep beach, in a bathing machine, with a vague incertitude as to where you will find yourself when the doors open again : but nothing can come up to what I suffered in my last extremity, in this Constantinople bath. Thoughts of Turkish cruelty and the sacks of the Bosphorus; of home, and friends, and my childhood’s bowers — of the sadness of being murdered in a foreign bath — and the probability of my Giaour body being eaten by the wild dogs, crowded rapidly on me as these demons increased their tortures; until, collecting all my strength for one last effort, I contrived to throw them off, one to the right and the other to the left, some half dozen feet—and regained iny legs.

#THE FIRES AT PARA