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#i did not care for this at all

feeling a way but cannot word it hgsg its bad,

#||Dnt Reb/og plz||, #self harm ment TW, #Cade.vnt, #i've run out of ways to be like 'ooo im sad, #emotions r fucked up and mhfdmh, #my dads in the hospital!! not in michigan. he's in texas cus he went in while on work, #hes having trouble breathing. in heart failure n has pneumonia apparently., #n texas' hospitals r. over ran. n everything is a mss., #my entire family is freaking out n i dont know if we'll be going down to texas yet or not if he cant leave the hospital so, #who knows maybe i'll be driving to texas  at some point., #I. dont know how to feel, #Eveeryones freaking out and im sat here not crying. not freaking out.i feel detatched and numb like its not really Happening., #my mom got mad at me today for not calling him at all n talking to him., #'you may not like how he's treated you but at least he's taken care of you!!!!', #idk how to feel. theres a verty real possibility he Might Die in this hospital., #is it fucked yp to say n oone hand i'd be relieved if he did. that if he died i'd almost feell relieved??? i feel like its fucked up and, #im a piece of shit because hes my dad. ad i should be Crying and Upset and Scared because he's in the hospital with all this shit, #in the world happening and he could die- i fdeel like i owe it to him and yet im sitting here still not crying, #still not freaking out like my family. just sat here in the dark feeling pracically nothing., #n god my family is so??suspicious of me- idk the word-for not being upset- feel like my moms mad at me., #everythings fucked up right now n i feel equally as fucked up., #its 4:16 am and here i am. im a piece of shit., #anyways i was suppsed to go to sleep but i've been awake thinking agout this and ripping my scalp apart with my nails., #i hae blood on my fingers. i hate myself.
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helahadesAnswer

hi baby oh my goodness let me just say that im so happy you’re here and okay and I love you

im so glad that your isolation time was focused on healing and hopefulness and like…huge discovery!🥺🥺🥺that is so sweet of her and you totally deserve a sunflower date with someone who treasures you

take your time and don’t rush yourself honey like,,,that is such a big realization. I know tumblr is full of like established gays^tm and it might feel a bit overwhelming both here and irl but you can always keep chatting with me about it 💕

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I am genuinely so glad that they restored Magnus’ magic in the end and didn’t resort into the ‘overcome anything or you’re weak’ routine.

It’s important to represent the journey of overcoming loss, yes. But it’s also important to acknowledge that sometimes losing a fundamental part of yours is too much.

Magnus’ heart was in the right place, he gave up on it twice willingly despite it being part of his whole being, part of who he is.

But I find it incredibly important that Alec understood that he had to do anything and everything he could in order to make Magnus whole again.

And no, it doesn’t make Magnus weak or unable to overcome. It just means that he truly made a selfless, impossible sacrifice– and it’s okay if he’s unable to be happy after it. That’s the whole point of sacrifice.

Alec helping him get his Magic back, is really what love is about.

#Magnus Bane, #Alec Lightwood, #Malec, #Shadowhunters, #It's like.... I dont know.... I really don't like the indication that Magnus is somehow less for actually NEEDING his magic., #Saying Magnus is 'less' without his magic is wrong because magic is literally part of Magnus just as blood is part of our body., #It's like taking away your eyes and tongue and legs and asking you to be happy., #Ofc you might be--but would you really be weak for not being?, #Magic is so deeply intertwined with Magnus- the way he feels the word-- the way he interacts with the world, #That losing it couldn't have meant anything but devastation., #It's not even about power (surely a perk but) it's about his sense of self- his being--his life., #And it's OKAY. God damn it., #Magnus tried to show off he doesn't care for the magic--Alec tried to show that it didn't matter--, #They all acted like it's shameful to admit that yes- Magnus has magic and yes its a big reason why he's needed and loved, #Just the same as Izzy being able to Mae weapons and the Shadowhunters runes and so many other abilities., #Being useful is not a shameful thing to admit and feeling loss at being useless is really not unheard of., #ANYHOW THIS GIANT RANT IS JUST TO SAY THAT I THINK MAGNUS HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BREAK DOWN OVWR HIS MAGIC AND, #I AM SO GLAD ALEC DID WHAT HE DID TO RESTORE IT, #I feel like the whole gang was supposed to urgently look for ways to fix it the moment it had happened., #If Jace can run around the whole world searching for Clary... He could at least read a book or something re: magnus power, #After all he gave them up for him, #BUT YEAH OKAY GODS I'LL STOP, #buns.txt
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#im just allowing myself a selfish moment, #to be annoyed at the world, #and life, #and i dunno everything, #but first of all im so annoyed at the way news is just consumed 24/7 on social media, #and people treat me like there's something wrong with me for NOT consuming my news that way, #i constantly hear 'how did you not hear about that it was all over facebook', #like please kindly fuck off i don't use facebook and im too tired for facebook, #secondly - and i wanna state that im happy for business owners with this news, #i genuinely am - it's been so hard on small businesses in victoria during this pandemic, #but there was an announcement today that beauty and hospo will be opening back up as of wednesday cos we had two days of 0 cases, #and my housemate came in gushing about how excited she is to go brunch again and finally get her hair, #nails and lashes done, #and im happy these people get to earn money again, #but the 25km radius still applies and i don't care about brunching or getting my freaking nails done, #i wanna be able to do something i personally enjoy and i currently mostly can't still, #and idk why im so upset about this, #i think it's just because my housemate is SO excited to get her fucking lashes done, #and everytime she talks about her lashes i wanna scream because i persinally think they look AWFUL every time she has them, #and she's looked so much nicer since lockdown started and she couldn't get them lmao, #but i'd never say that cos it's something that makes her happy and makes her feel good and that's a good thing, #idk im just really upset and i don't really know why, #so im having my selfish little tag rant so I don't explode at her because she won't shut the fuck up, #all i wanna do is go see my parents and my best friend and they both live in another state 500km away
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Can’t believe I just wasted two hours of my life watching the 2004 film Around the World in 80 Days (yes, the one with Jackie Chan). A terrible adaptation, and on top of that it’s not even a good movie. I would write an entire rant about it if it wasn’t currently midnight and if I wasn’t about to fall asleep. A 1/10 movie. The 1 point is for the three times I chuckled.

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#been wicked sad all day so as usual it’s simping for yandere deku again, #ok ok ok but imagine ur a pro hero but you just moved to town, #you’ve always heard about the number 1 hero Deku & u have had a silly crush on him since high school, #he’s so famous though so you’re sure that when you start at his office that you won’t ever see him & even if you did it’s not like he’d, #ever even notice someone like you cause well you’re you & he’s the best hero in the world get real, #but even still ur so nervous on ur first day cause like .. he cooould be there & just being in the same room as him will be a dream, #so u start ur day there & it’s pretty fun, #you meet so many cool heros & they all talk about their missions & quirks & before you know it you’re having such a good time, #maybe u were kinda isolated at ur old place & uve always been kind of a loner so the fact that u are clicking so hard w everyone is amazing, #anyways it’s time to work on some training so ur new friends show you around & you all get ready to spar w each other, #ur quirk is super powerful so u pull ur punches at first but gradually get more comfortable w everyone & before u know it u beat everyone &, #they r all mad impressed & ur worried that u just made a mistake cause u don’t wanna lose all ur new friends so fast, #but then one guy goes ‘dang they r so cool! i will be right back!’, #anyways next thing you know there he is, #just as tall & handsome as you always imagined he would be, #ur heart starts pounding like crazy & ur stumble over urself bc it just dawned on u that they must have brought him here to fight u, #he smiles so big when ur eyes meet & u can swear that his green eyes r seeing right through you. he says something like, #’so i hear ur better than everyone here. care to let the number 1 hero have a turn?’ u almost faint & quickly shake ur head no struggling, #to speak but desperate to convince him that he would crush u so there’s no point but, #he closes the space between u in a flash his quirk making his eyes dazzle even more & whispers ‘please? i won’t hurt you promise’, #for some strange reason u can’t tell him no & u start sparing w him. it takes everything u have to keep up w him. he’s so strong & too fast, #but u manage to match him step for step & after a while he finally stops & calls a draw, #he’s smiling even bigger now & his eyes r shinning brightly at u. ur convinced that smile might actually kill u, #he closes the space between u in an instant once more & looks down at u eyes blazing before prasing u like crazy, #’no ones ever kept up w me like that before. ur amazing im so impressed.’ u can’t take it & look away stumbling over words like, #‘it’s no big deal’ & ‘it was super hard u are so fast it’s insane’ but he simply shushes u softly and lifts ur face back to his, #u can’t even fathom that the greatest hero in the world and ur crush since childhood is actually touching u & u blush like crazy, #ur eyes r locked & u totally forget that there’s an entire room of people watching u two, #i totally made too many tags so pt 2 next, #izuku 💚
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