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allegra-writes · 5 years

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Peter Parker cute Alphabet:

Hi! Could I please please please get a cute and a NSFW alphabet with Peter? Thanks! 💕

Ok, I actually had to do a little research for this one, I haven’t seen one in so long that I couldn’t remember exactly how they worked. (Update, I want to thank @padfootagain because this genius prompts come from her amazing mind, like, seriously THANK YOU 💓)And I never wrote smut before so you’ll probably gonna have to give me some time to do the NSFW one. Anyway, here’s our Cute Alphabet with the cutest Avenger:

Affection: What are those little things they do to show you that they love you?

He never let’s you forget that he loves you. He’s so excited that you are his girlfriend that he’s the most caring boyfriend in the planet, always holding your hand, always kissing your cheeks or your hands, always texting you random facts and memes he thinks you’ll find interesting or funny. He’s always making sure you’re safe too, and has the most care with his secret identity because now he has too much to loose if an enemy finds out who he really is. He simply can’t afford someone tracing you back to him and endangering you. Especially after what Mysterio did. Luckily everyone wrote it off as fake news but he takes extra measures now anyway.

Birthday: What do they do to celebrate your birthday? What is the thing you need to do to make them happy on their birthday? Are they good at giving gifts?

He’s the very first to wish you a happy birthday, knocking on your bedroom window shortly after midnight, rainbow cupcake with a single candle on his hands. He also gives you a very personal, special gift, like that hard to get book he knows you been looking everywhere for, or a very rare pigment for your art, or an original vintage Polaroid camera. He shows he truly knows you and listens to you with his gifts, he’s not one for generic gifts like perfume or jewelry (thought he did gave you a letter P pendant one Christmas that he got on Etsy, and you wear it all the time).

To make him happy on his birthday you don’t really have to do a lot, but you do anyway. You call Pepper Stark to let her know it’s Peter’s birthday and the both of you organize the best surprise party ever, with all of the remaining Avengers and of course his new “siblings” Harley and Morgan. Even Nebula shows up, because she wants to get to know the kid Tony Stark told her so much about when they were stranded on that ship (she actually thinks Peter is Tony’s biological son and Pepper doesn’t seem inclined on correcting that assumption any time soon)

Cuddles: Do they like to cuddle? Big spoon? Little spoon?

He loves to cuddle, he absolutely loves it. Whether it be while watching a movie on his couch, or lying together in your bed, he loves to wrap his arms around you. He likes to toy with the idea to keep you there forever, safe in his arms, away from the world and all its dangers.

Dating: What are they like on their first date? And those after that?

The first date was a terrible. It was a complete disaster. He had tried so hard to impress you: He had borrowed money and made reservation at some trendy french restaurant, picked you up in one of the cars Tony Stark had left him and showed up in a tux. Not that he looked bad in that tux, but you were definitely underdressed in your sundress and leather jacket. None of you even knew what any item in the menu was, and things were painfully akward.

In the end you both had ditch the restaurant and gone to a vintage Arcade to play 80’s videogames and eat burgers.

From that day on, he relaxed and you guys only go on dates that you really enjoy: Picnics at the park, stargazing trips, visits to the planetarium, and you even have plans for the San Diego Comic-Con next year.

Evolution: How fast does your relationship evolves? Weeks, months, years?

You are both young and, let’s face it, a little reckless, so things get very intense very fast. But there’s no going back now, he wants you in his life forever, you both are all in.

Flirting: Do they flirt a lot?

He’s not the smoothest of flirts but he doesn’t need to, he already owns your heart. And to be honest, you love the way you can still get him all flustered when you send a flirtatious smile and a wink his way.

Generosity: When they’re with you, is it about you or about them?

You are his princess, his Queen, his love, his everything. He is absolutely amazed by the fact that you love him back, he can’t believe his luck, can’t believe you’re his. So of course it’s all about you: He loves opening doors for you, carrying things for you, wrapping you up in his jacket when you’re cold… And when you both are alone, well, everything is still about you. More than ever.

Honey: Do they use pet names? What’s their favourite for you and for themselves?

He mostly calls you babe, sometimes princess, but he secretly loves when someone at the Avengers Tower calls you “Spider-girl” the most.

Isolation: How do they react when they are away from you?

He loathes it. Absolutely hates it. He misses you like crazy when he’s away in missions or when you are and he’s not with you. He hates not knowing if you’re safe, he hates not being able to hear your voice.

But the angst of the separation makes the reunion all the sweetest. To finally have you in his arms feels like coming home, like being where he really belongs.

Jealousy: Are they jealous? How do they react if you are jealous?

He tries not to be, but sometimes he can’t help it. It was worse when you weren’t together, because he knew you had a bit of a crush on Dr. Strange, and it used to kill him. He still doesn’t really likes when he is around. That’s actually how he told you that he liked you: He had gotten so mad with jealousy that you guys had fought. Badly. Things had gotten out of control and he ended up confessing his feelings for you in the middle of a yelling match.

You hate it but he actually loves when you get jealous, you looked hot as hell when you get mad and he loves that fire within you. Loves that he is the reason it ignites and burns.

Kisses: Lots of them? Peppering ones? Languid ones?… What about your first kiss?

He’s always peppering you with kisses, but he always asks for permission before deepening them. Sometimes vocally, asking you if he can kiss you, and sometimes in more subtle ways, nibbling or licking on your bottom lip. You love that about him, the way he never takes you for granted, not even in the smallest of ways.

Light up: What do they do to make you feel better after a rough day? How can you lighten their mood?

There’s nothing Peter Parker wouldn’t do for you. And if that means doing back flips, or some silly dance or even singing something to put a smile on your face after a long day, so be it.

You don’t really have to do a lot to make him smile, just giving him a hug, a kiss or simply being you usually makes things a lot better

Nurse: How do they take care of you when you’re sick? How do they behave when they are sick?

If you have a cold, he shows up at your door with soup, if you have a sore throat, he gets you ice cream. And if you are on your period, he gets you obscene amounts of chocolate, heating pads, Aleve or anything you need. He was raised by May, after all, so he doesn’t get spooked or grossed out by periods.

He doesn’t really get sick himself, thanks to his special metabolism. But he does get hurt sometimes. Or his senses get overload. At those times he holds you tight and buries his face in your chest cause your smell soothes him, the feeling of you in his arms grounds him to something solid and real, and the sound of your heart beating helps him focus and drown out the pandemonium of noise of such a big city like New York.

Objects: Are there any object, song, place that have a particular meaning for them or for the two of you as a couple?

Sometimes the weight of the world, of being the next Tony Stark, of being an Avenger gets to be a little too much. He gets so insecure, so full of doubt and self deprecation…

On those such times you sing to him, often to sleep. And it’s always the same tune: “Something just like this” by Coldplay. Not because you don’t think him worthy of being a hero or anything like that, but to remind him that you didn’t fall in love with Spider-Man or the next Tony Stark, but with Peter Parker, and that’s all you need him to be. In time, that becomes your song.

Partners: Are they looking for flings, one-night stands, partners to be with until their last breath? What makes them fall for you?

He wasn’t expecting to fall for you. He wasn’t expecting to fall for anyone, really. Things with MJ had just fallen apart because of what Quentin Beck tried to do to him, and he couldn’t endanger her. And to be honest, he was still mourning Tony. In conclusion, he was in a very dark place and wasn’t really thinking about girls. Like, at all. But one day, you showed up. A pretty girl in a pretty dress, but with combat boots on your feet. Fitting for a walking contradiction like you, so kind but with a smart mouth on you, to use effortlessly on the people that annoyed you. You countered all of his quick remarks readily with one of your own. So out of his league, but somehow you had like him back.

No, he definitely wasn’t looking for somebody. But now he’s got you, and he’s never letting you go. He’s going to marry you one day, he knows that in his bones.

Quarrels: How is it to have a fight with them? What do they do to make you forgive them? What do you need to do to make them forgive you?

It’s not often that you fight, which makes it all the worse when it happens. Usually it has something to do with his whole self-sacrificing-brooding-hero-“you’d-be-safer-without-me” thing. The first time you didn’t understand what was going on so you had let him leave you, without putting up a fight, cause you had thought he simply didn’t love you anymore. That one didn’t last because when you tracked his suit (your very own messed up version of social media stalking), you realized he had been following you around to make sure you were safe. You realized then two things: First, he still loved you and second, you both needed to learn a thing or two about healthy boundaries.

Ever since then, every time he tried to pull something like that again, you weren’t afraid to call him out on his BS, even if you could never really stay mad at him. Not when he looks at you with those big brown puppy dog eyes. And if those eyes happen to be red rimmed, you are done for.

But who could blame you? You are only human after all. And even while he does have super powers, you know your tears are his kryptonite.

Rings: How do they propose? The wedding? The honeymoon?

The first time the thought hits him, it leaves him breathless. You guys were just lying on his couch, watching some silly Syfy channel movie about sharks on space, when he looked up at you from his position with his head resting on your lap. You looked so beautiful in the blue light from the TV, so domestic dressed up in one of his old hoodies, and the two little words came to his mind, unbridled: “Marry me”.

The next few weeks, it just won’t leave him alone. At random moments, having lunch or studying together, walking down the street or making love, it would just play on repeat inside his head, like a prayer: “Marry me. Marry me. Marry me”, and it would take all of his will power to not blurt the words out loud.

He knows May would just freak out so he goes to Pepper, who instead of lecturing him about being too young to get married like he expected, smiles, takes off her own engagement ring and places it on his hand, telling him, “Tony had this ring for years before giving it to me. Don’t make the same mistake”. She helps him plan the perfect proposal, that of course goes to hell when the green goblin attacks the city and almost gets the better of him. Luckily you were able to sneak up on the bastard from behind and managed to knock him unconscious with a Shield issued taser.

You were so brave, so perfect, this time he can’t contain himself.

“Marry me”

You blinked, “I might have to asked my boyfriend what he has to say about that”

“Don’t. Let’s run away together tonight.” He pulled the bottom half of his mask up and then pulled you into a kiss that had the little crowd of onlookers watching the fight cheering and whistling.

And that’s the story of how you and Peter eloped to Las Vegas.

Secrets: Do they keep secrets from you and how do they react when they learn that you’ve been hiding something from them?

Well, the begining of your relationship wasn’t exactly… Forthright.

Of course he hadn’t told you he was Spider-Man, even if he was shit at keeping it secret, always disappearing, always hanging out with Pepper Stark and Happy Hogan, always getting so jumpy anytime you mentioned Spider-Man. Between that and the new bruises you found almost every night littering his body - That were gone the next morning- it wasn’t really that hard to make the connection.

You hadn’t even need to confront him about it, you just had kissed him and bid him goodbye with a “Go get them, Spider-Man” the next time he had tried to use some half baked excuse to stood you up in the middle of a movie date at your place.

“Wha- that’s not… I’m not- I’m not Spider-Man!” He had tried to scoff dismissively, what of course was completely ruined by him tripping out of your second floor window and landing on the sidewalk without a scratch.

So yeah, he wouldn’t really hold it against you if you were to keep something from him, besides, he trusts you anyway.

Tease: Do they like to tease you? How much humour is there in your relationship?

There is a lot of fun and laughs in your relationship, but he’s not much of a tease, if anything, you are the teaser of the two. However, you need to be careful because he is after all the sassiest avenger and his quick wit can outmatch your own if the need arises.

Voicing: How hard is it for them to talk about their feelings? How do they tell you that they love you for the first time?

He’s not exactly a closed off person, but he’s not the best communicator either. The things that are really important, that really affect him or make him vulnerable, he often bottles up until they get to be too much and and then get blurted out.

That’s how he told you that he loved you for the first time: He had gotten jealous, and though he didn’t mean to, he ended up making a scene. And if there is one thing that you hate with a passion, that’s jealous and controlling people. So, of course you had fought back. The discussion quickly got out of control and he ended up yelling “Because I’m in love with you, that’s why!” at you in the middle of the fight.

U-turns: What can transform your relationship in a good or bad way (what makes them confess their feelings or scares them off)?

That’s it basically: Strong emotions. Strong jealousy had cause him to confess his feelings and strong fear for your safety was the thing that almost drove him away from you. He was always very emotional when making decisions, and that’s probably the reason why they often blow up on his face.

Luckily you are a little more logical, a little more cool headed to balance his more impassionate personality. Waking up: What is it like to wake up by their side? He usually wakes up first, so normally you are arisen by strong arms tightening around you, soft, reverent caresses on your naked back or arms, or sweet nothings whispered at your hair when he thinks you’re still deeply asleep. Once your eyes flutter open, he would always try to convince you to stay in bed just a little longer. He likes to pretend that there’s no world outside your bed, only you and him. If he could, he would keep you forever there, safe in his arms Yielding: What do you have to do to convince them to do what you want? You are his weakness and you know it. It took you a while, but by now you are perfectly aware that he would do whatever you ask of him. You have him wrapped around your little finger. Zoo: Could they have a pet with you? What kind of pet? Peter Parker might be the only person in the world who is actually a bigger softy than you. Once, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man busted a pit-bull fighting ring, and after beating every human involved pretty nastily (could anyone really blame him?) He called the dog rescue, to help the poor, terrified, abused animals. The worst part were the puppies these monsters seemed to be already training for battle. He tried to remain strong, he really did, but there was this one puppy, smaller than the others, not aggressive in the slightest, cowering behind the crates. He was tiny, but already covered in scars, because, apparently he was the dog they used so the others would… practice. Very slowly, he was able to approach and grab him, but whenever someone from the rescue tried to take him, it would start crying again, looking at Peter with the saddest eyes. Eyes that were the same color as yours. It simply broke his heart. He couldn’t possibly part with it. So he didn’t. The next morning, you woke up to a still exhausted boyfriend for the first time ever not cuddling up to you, but to the smallest, cutest dog you had ever seen. That morning, you fell in love with Peter all over again, and with your new puppy for the very first time. You named him “Spidey”, in honor of the outstanding man who had saved his life.

#peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker fanfic #peter parker reader fanfiction #cute peter parker #tom Holland x reader #tom holland cute

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witchychanel · 4 years

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Reborn

chapter one: The Mistake

Word Count: 1,4k

Characters: Reader x Grant , briefly (Adam, Cassie, Phoebe, Melissa, Zane, Indiana x Luke)

Warnings: Angst, Language and Character Death ⚠ Trigger Warning ⚠ Physical and Verbal assault and Sexual Assault ⚠

This chapter takes place at the end of The Secret Circle, which is a TV show, you can watch it on CW seed.

I changed a few things, Phoebe Tonkin's character in the TSC is now named Phoebe Sertori, and Will in H20:JAD I'm using the actors really name Luke along with Indiana Evans aka Bella in the show is now Indiana Hartley

Set in 2010 between April-June

Italics: text messages

••• *TSC Spoilers but you kinda have to read*

Cassie is not going to be your sister, she is now your cousin.

This Starts off when you walk into the abandoned house and see John, Cassie’s dad trying to kill her right after you find out your uncle Charles killed Cassie's Mom •••

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"He killed Cassie's mom" you said to yourself over and over again, here you are in your prom dress,on the day that was supposed to be special has you in tears and in shock and as tears filled your eyes as you ran out of the house. You thanked God that Bo was at her friend's house. That she wasn't here to learn what her father has done. That she didn't have to witness her father going insane thinking the ghost of Amelia was there trying to kill him.

You wish you never found your mom's book of shadows, you wish you never even found out that you're a witch to begin with.

As you are walking down the street you're eyes foggy with tears, a car pulls up behind you. You don't pay any attention to it until you hear your name being called and it's Grant.

He comes up and asks you if your alright and you break down in his arms

You wake up hours later in Grant's car he says that your phone has been ringing for hours. You have 20 missed calls from the circle, most of them are from Cassie..

Cassie: Where are you??

Cassie: John lied to us!!

Cassie: He's trying to take our powers!!

You ask Grant to drop you off at the Boat House where your car is located.

You drive as fast as you can towards the woods, when you get there you park the car and start running into woods, towards the abandoned house.

You hear struggling coming from inside and see John using the power of the crystal skull to kill Cassie.

You grabbed something heavy and hit him over the head. He dropped the skull Cassie grabbed the skull and pointed it at him, you put your hands on her's and helped her. Once he was dead you grabbed a witch cruet to finish him off proper. So that his magic won't linger.

You guys dug a hole and put his body in. Then you both went your separate ways.

The Next Morning

You call Grant to tell him that you want to leave with him. What you didn't know leaving with him was going to be a huge mistake..

You put your bags in his car and drive to Cassie's house where the rest of the circle are currently at. You tell them all that you are leaving town with Grant.

"Y/N, please we need you" Cassie says "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Adam asked "It's better than being here, I'm just tired of everything" you responded

"Just take care, okay" Melissa says. You nod and give your goodbyes to everyone.

Once you get into his car you notice a symbol pop up on your hand, you have no idea what to make of it and so you brush it off and leave Chance Harbor with Grant.

Few Weeks Later

You feel bad, you haven't told Grant what you are. "How the fuck should I tell him what I am and who I am" you think to yourself. As you stare into the massive ocean. You are pulled out of your thoughts when you feel a hand on your back. “My father… he’s dead” is all he says before he drives the boat back to its spot.

You glance at Grant, he's been silent ever since he got the phone call. He talks about his mom almost all the time but he told you that he had a bad relationship with his dad.

••••••••• Two Weeks Later ••••••••••

Grant has been coming home late from work, you hated it but at the same time you didn't mind because you were able to teleport to L.A. to tape Victorious and to school. You told Grant that you got a job at Rikki's. You were already friends with so many of them because well you’re a mermaid.

As you pull your car into the driveway coming home from Vasilisa’s house, you notice Grant's car parked in the driveway.

You walk in through the front door and Grant is sitting on a chair with a bottle of whiskey. "Where the hell have you been" he asked "working" you replied "liar" is all he said "excuse me?" you asked "you heard me" he got up and walked straight towards you.

"Where the fuck have you been" he said with nothing but rage.

"I bet you were fucking Zane" you looked at him speechless and in shock. "Or I bet you we're fucking Luke" he said as he slapping you so hard you fell.

"No I wasn't I swear" you said as your eyes spilled tears.

"Get Out" Grant said,

"what" is all you asked

"Get out, I don't want a cheater, under my roof, I don't want a slut here" he said as he kicked you in the stomach. You would've fought back of fuck even killed him, but you we're week you haven't drank any blood in months. You ran out of the house and got into your car, and drove to Indiana's house because it was closer. Once you arrived there your wounds were gone, you grabbed the water bottle you had next to you and washed your face. You chuckled to yourself as you thought being a hybrid has its perks.

'Because if you seen h20 you know, when they touch water they turn into Mermaids'

You walked up to her front door and knocked

"Y/N, are you alright" Indiana asked as she brought you in, more tears spilled out of your eyes "Grant… he kicked me out, he accused me of cheating" you say as you look around and notice she and Luke we're on a date. "You guys seem busy, I'll show myself out" "none since, you are staying here" Luke said as Indi nodded. You smiled and said thank you.

••••••••••• The Next Morning ••••••••••••

Indiana & Luke are having breakfast and they hear a knock at the door. When Luke opens it up they see Grant. "Is Y/N here??" Grant asked "You don't need to answer that" he said as he looks at your car.

"What are you doing here? " You said feeling numb, "I want to talk and apologize about last night" Grant said.

You looked at Luke and Indiana and then at the floor and said okay and walked outside.

"Listen Y/N, I'm sorry I hit you and I'm sorry for all the names I called you, I promise you I will never ever do it again" You looked at him and said “promise” and he said yes.

But of course he lied. He did it again and again but you can never get proof because being a vampire especially two types you heal quickly.

On the last you and him were together he comes home drunk and high and he's all touchy and gabby you say no and push him off and he calls you a "prude". "I'm not a prude, I just don't want my first time to be when you are drunk" you reply. He laughs and says "it's okay, I already had sex with a girl at the bar, all I want is to see your big ass tits" he says as he pushes you on the bed. You're in complete shock you don't even realize he is trying to get your shirt off.

You snapped back to reality and say "you fucked someone else" pushing him off of you once again "oh honey, the girls at bars are horny, willing to fuck behind dumpster unlike you, I’ve been fucking around for a few days now, all you do is suck my dick when I just want to fuck" he said as he rips your shirt off then the bra and puts your nipple into his mouth. You keep telling him no stop, but he won't give, so you grabbed the lamp and hit him over the head.

Once he is knocked out you push him off of you and pack all of your clothes. You get into your car and drive away. Not to Indiana's house, or Rikki's or Lissas but to the airport.

You asked the lady if there are any flights back to the states she responds with yes and gives you connecting flights back to San Diego, California. You get your tickets, and you call Ian and tell him you are going back home, that you will explain everything. You wished that Ian lived in Cali let alone daygo but he lives in Chicago. You call your dad but he doesn't pick up so you leave a message saying you should be there on Wednesday night.

Once you reach your street, you feel so much happiness being home. You put your earbuds on and walk towards the apparent that your dad, sister and brother live in but then everything goes dark….

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Heyyy it’s Athena, this is my first chapter. I promise I’ll get better

#indiana evans #luke mitchell #phoebe tonkin #the secret circle #the cw #supernatural #the originals #the vampair series #mcu #marvel #shameless #riverdale #cleo sertori #hayley mikaelson #athenas book series #reborn

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blackkudos · 4 years

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Betty Carter

Betty Carter (born Lillie Mae Jones; May 19, 1929 – September 26, 1998) was an American jazz singer known for her improvisational technique, scatting and other complex musical abilities that demonstrated her vocal talent and imaginative interpretation of lyrics and melodies. Vocalist Carmen McRae once remarked: "There's really only one jazz singer—only one: Betty Carter."

Early life

Carter was born in Flint, Michigan, and grew up in Detroit, where her father, James Jones, was the musical director of a Detroit church and her mother, Bessie, was a housewife. As a child, Carter was raised to be extremely independent and to not expect nurturing from her family. Even 30 years after leaving home, Carter was still very aware of and affected by the home life she was raised in, and was quoted saying:

I have been far removed from my immediate family. There's been no real contact or phone calls home every week to find out how everybody is…As far as family is concerned, it's been a lonesome trek…It's probably just as much my fault as it is theirs, and I can't blame anybody for it. But there was…no real closeness, where the family urged me on, or said…'We're proud'…and all that. No, no…none of that happened.

While the lack of support from Carter's family caused her to feel isolated, it may also have instilled self-reliance and determination to succeed. She studied piano at the Detroit Conservatory at the age of 15, but only attained a modest level of expertise.

At the age of 16, Carter began singing. As her parents were not big proponents of her pursuing a singing career, she would sneak out at night to audition for amateur shows. After winning first place at her first amateur competition, Carter felt as though she were being accepted into the music world and decided that she must pursue it tirelessly. When she began performing live, she was too young to be admitted into bars, so she obtained a forged birth certificate to gain entry in order to perform.

Career

Even at a young age, Carter was able to bring a new vocal style to jazz. The breathiness of her voice was a characteristic seldom heard before her appearance on the music scene. She also was well known for her passion for scat singing and her strong belief that the throwaway attitude that most jazz musicians approached it with was inappropriate and wasteful due to its spontaneity and basic inventiveness, seldom seen elsewhere.

Detroit, where Carter grew up, was a hotbed of jazz growth. After signing with a talent agent after her win at amateur night, Carter had opportunities to perform with famous jazz artists such as Dizzy Gillespie, who visited Detroit for an extensive amount of time. Gillespie is often considered responsible for her strong passion for scatting. In earlier recordings, it is apparent that her scatting had similarities to the qualities of Gillespie's.

At the time of Gillespie's visit, Charlie Parker was receiving treatment in a psychiatric hospital, delaying her encounter with him. However, Carter eventually performed with Parker, as well as with his band consisting of Tommy Potter, Max Roach, and Miles Davis. After receiving praise from both Gillespie and Parker for her vocal prowess, Carter felt an upsurge in confidence and knew that she could make it in the business with perseverance.

Carter's confidence was well founded. In 1948, she was asked by Lionel Hampton to join his band. She finally had her big break. Working with Hampton's group gave her the chance to be bandmates with artists such as Charles Mingus and Wes Montgomery, as well as with Ernest Harold "Benny" Bailey, who had recently vacated Gillespie's band and Albert Thornton "Al" Grey who would later go on to join Gillespie's band. Hampton obviously had an ear for talent and a love for bebop. Carter too had a deep love for bebop as well as a talent for it. Hampton's wife Gladys gave her the nickname "Betty Bebop", a nickname she reportedly detested. Despite her good ear and charming personality, Carter was fiercely independent and had a tendency to attempt to resist Hampton's direction, while Hampton had a temper and was quick to anger. Hampton expected a lot from his players and did not want them to forget that he was the band's leader. She openly hated his swing style, refused to sing in a swinging way, and she was far too outspoken for his tastes. Carter honed her scat singing ability while on tour, which was not well received by Hampton as he did not enjoy her penchant for improvisation. Over the course of two and a half years, Hampton fired Carter a total of seven times.

Carter was part of the Lionel Hampton Orchestra that played at the famed Cavalcade of Jazz in Los Angeles at Wrigley Field which was produced by Leon Hefflin, Sr. on July 10, 1949. They did a second concert at Lane Field in San Diego on September 3, 1949. They also performed at the sixth famed Cavalcade of Jazz concert on June 25, 1950. Also featured on the same day were Roy Milton & His Solid Senders, Pee Wee Crayton's Orchestra, Dinah Washington, Tiny Davis & Her Hell Divers, and other artists. 16,000 people were reported to be in attendance and the concert ended early because of a fracas while Hampton's band played "Flying High".

Being a part of Hampton's band provided a few things for "The Kid" (a nickname bestowed upon Carter that stuck for the rest of her life): connections, and a new approach to music, making it so that all future musical attitudes that came from Carter bore the mark of Hampton's guidance. Because of Hampton's hiring of Carter, she also goes down in history as one of the last big band era jazz singers in history. However, by 1951, Carter left the band. After a short recuperation back home, Carter was in New York, working all over the city for the better part of the early 1950s, as well as participating in an extensive tour of the south, playing for "camp shows". This work made little to no money, but Carter believed it was necessary in order to develop as an artist, and was a way to "pay her dues".

Very soon after Carter's arrival in New York City, she was given the opportunity to record with King Pleasure and the Ray Bryant Trio, becoming more recognizable and well-known and subsequently being granted the chance to sing at the Apollo Theatre. This theatre was known for giving up-and-coming artists the final shove into becoming household names. Carter was propelled into prominence, recording with Epic label by 1955 and was a well-known artist by the late 1950s. Her first solo LP, Out There, was released on the Peacock label in 1958.

Miles Davis can be credited for Carter's bump in popularity, as he was the person who recommended to Ray Charles that he take Carter under his wing. Carter began touring with Charles in 1960, then making a recording of duets with him in 1961 (Ray Charles and Betty Carter), including the R&B-chart-topping "Baby, It's Cold Outside", which brought her a measure of popular recognition. In 1963 she toured in Japan with Sonny Rollins. She recorded for various labels during this period, including ABC-Paramount, Atco and United Artists, but was rarely satisfied with the resulting product. After three years of touring with Charles and a total of two recordings together, Carter took a hiatus from recording to marry. She and her husband had two children. However, she continued performing, not wanting to be dependent upon her husband for financial support.

The 1960s became an increasingly difficult time for Carter as she began to slip in fame, refusing to sing contemporary pop music, and her youth fading. Carter was nearly forty years old, which at the time was not conducive to a career in the public eye. Rock and roll, like pop, was steadily becoming more popular and provided cash flow for labels and recording companies. Carter had to work extremely hard to continue to book gigs because of the jazz decline. Her marriage also was beginning to crumble. By 1971, Carter was single and mainly performing live with a small group consisting of merely a piano, drums, and a bass. The Betty Carter trio was one of very few jazz groups to continue to book gigs in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Carter created her own record label, Bet-Car Records, in 1969, the sole recording source of Carter's music for the next eighteen years:

....in fact, I think I was probably the first independent label out there in '69. People thought I was crazy when I did it. 'How are you gonna get any distribution?' I mean, 'How are you gonna take care of business and do that yourself?' 'Don't you need somebody else?' I said, 'Listen. Nobody was comin' this way and I wanted the records out there, so I found out that I could do it myself.' So, that's what I did. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. You know. We're talking about '69!

Some of her most famous recordings were originally issued on Bet-Car, including the double album The Audience with Betty Carter (1980). In 1980 she was the subject of a documentary film by Michelle Parkerson, But Then, She's Betty Carter. Carter's approach to music did not concern solely her method of recording and distribution, but also her choice in venues. Carter began performing at colleges and universities, starting in 1972 at Goddard College in Vermont. Carter was excited at this opportunity, as it was since the mid-1960s that Carter had been wanting to visit schools and provide some sort of education for students. She began lecturing along with her musical performances, informing students of the history of jazz and its roots.

By 1975, Carter's life and work prospects began to improve, and Carter was beginning to be able to pick her own jobs once again, touring in Europe, South America, and the United States. In 1976, Carter was a guest live performer on Saturday Night Live′s first season on the air, and was also a performer at the Newport Jazz Festival in 1977 and 1978, carving out a permanent place for herself in the music business as well as in the world of jazz.

In 1977, Carter enjoyed a new peak in critical and popular estimation, and taught a master class with her past mentor, Dizzy Gillespie, at Harvard. In the last decade of her life, Carter began to receive even wider acclaim and recognition. In 1987 she signed with Verve Records, who reissued most of her Bet-Car albums on CD for the first time and made them available to wider audiences. In 1988 she won a Grammy for her album Look What I Got! and sang in a guest appearance on The Cosby Show (episode "How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?"). In 1994 she performed at the White House and was a headliner at Verve's 50th anniversary celebration in Carnegie Hall. She was the subject of a 1994 short film by Dick Fontaine, Betty Carter: New All the Time.

In 1997 she was awarded a National Medal of Arts by President Bill Clinton. This award was one of thousands, but Carter considered this medal to be her most important that she received in her lifetime.

Death

Carter continued to perform, tour, and record, as well as search for new talent until she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the summer of 1998. She died on September 26, 1998, at the age of 69, and was later cremated. She was survived by her two sons.

Legacy

Carter often recruited young accompanists for performances and recordings, insisting that she "learned a lot from these young players, because they're raw and they come up with things that I would never think about doing."

1993 was Carter's biggest year of innovation, creating a program called Jazz Ahead, which took 20 students who were given the opportunity to spend an entire week training and composing with Carter, a program that still exists to this day and is hosted in The Kennedy Center.

Betty Carter is considered responsible for discovering great jazz talent, her discoveries including John Hicks, Curtis Lundy, Mulgrew Miller, Cyrus Chestnut, Dave Holland, Stephen Scott, Kenny Washington, Benny Green and more.

On June 25, 2019, The New York Times Magazine listed Betty Carter among hundreds of artists whose material was reportedly destroyed in the 2008 Universal fire.

Discography

CD compilations

1990: Compact Jazz – (Polygram) – Bet-Car and Verve recordings from 1976 to 1987

1992: I Can't Help It – (Impulse!/GRP) – the Out There and The Modern Sound albums on one compact disc

1999: Priceless Jazz – (GRP) – Peacock and ABC-Paramount recordings from 1958 and 1960

2003: Betty Carter's Finest Hour – (Verve) – recordings from 1958 to 1992

On multi-artist compilations

1988: "I'm Wishing" on Stay Awake: Various Interpretations of Music from Vintage Disney Films

1997: "Lonely House" on September Songs – The Music of Kurt Weill

#05/19 #09/26

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ranwing · 4 years

Text

Kadam Fic: Learning To Fly (18/?)

Title: Learning to Fly Series: A New Direction (was Season Four Remix) Pairing(s), Characters(s): Kadam, Kurt Hummel, Adam Crawford, Burt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Carmen Tibideaux, Cassandra July, Artie Abrams, Tina Cohen-Chang, Elliot “Starchild” Gilbert, Dani, Adam’s Apples, Original Characters Rating: PG13 (rating may change) Genre(s): canon divergence. Parts: 18/?

Summary: As another school year starts at NYADA, Kurt seemed to have it all. The respect of his teachers, a group of wonderful friends and best of all, getting to live with the man that he’d come to love. So of course the universe would throw a few curve balls in his direction.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen

One AO3

A/N - I'd like to both thank and apologize to all of my readers for the long delay in getting this chapter completed. I'd unfortunately been delayed by both a bout of writer's block and having surgery last month which set my plans to write back considerably. Thank you all for the wonderful comments and words of encouragement! I'm grateful to all of you for sticking with me.

Morning arrived with its usual clarion from Kurt’s cell phone alarm ringing at six, rousing him from sleep and reminding him that he had day filled with activities to get through awaiting him. Pushing off the sheets that had gotten wrapped about him during the night, Kurt sat at the edge of his bed and gave his body a long stretch to work out the sleep stiffness before getting to his feet.

With the semester starting to wind down, the students at NYADA were being put through the meat grinder by their instructors. Freshmen might have had the assumption that after all the work done on their spring musical that the professors might take it a bit easier on the upper classmen, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The more that he and his classmates manage to prove themselves, the more their teachers demanded. Kurt figured that by the time he graduated, Madam Tibideaux would expect him to be able to climb to the top of Mount Everest while singing an aria from Rigoletto in full voice the whole way up.

Well, this was what he signed up for, he reminded himself with a self-administered mental slap upside the head. And if he didn’t dawdle too much, he had enough time to go for a run and burn off some of the cake that he and the Apples had gorged on the night before. That would leave him just enough time to shower before his morning classes. But first things first…

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling as he studied the map pinned over his desk, seeing the wave of blue pins stretching across the image of the United States. Each marked a city where Adam had performed; cities where his play had met with critical regard and where his reputation as an actor continued to grow. Kurt no longer looked at that map with dread, facing it as a reminder of just how long it would before Adam was returned to him. Now it was a confirmation of just how much his lover had been able to accomplish.

With only one lone red pin left, it was also a reminder that Adam would be home right around the time that Kurt was finishing his finals. The feeling of disassociation was being replaced by one of happy anticipation and now they both had plans for their shared future to look forward to.

Butcher’s Bill had just wrapped up its run in Seattle and Kurt had happily marked the occasion with a triumphant blue push pin. Now a solitary red pin marked the final city of the national tour and if they hadn’t run into any delays, Adam would be leaving Seattle for San Diego by midday. That would allow Kurt to exchange that last red pin for a green one, signaling that the tour was nearing its conclusion.

It felt oddly thrilling that he could now legitimately count down the days without being overwhelmed by their sheer number. That his perspective has shifted from only being able to see how long he would be apart from Adam to actively anticipating the day of their reunion. He could look at his calendar now and actually see the day that Adam would be returning to New York, just over four weeks away.

There was a lot that still needed to be ironed out for them. They didn’t have an apartment so finding a place to live was going to be first on their agenda. Kurt could stay in the dorms through the summer if necessary, and he would be spending a few weeks at Garrison during the festival. If he had to leave the dorms for some reason, he knew that could spend a few days at a hostel until he and Adam got an apartment lined up. After all, that’s what he did when he first arrived in New York with nothing more than his suitcases and his dreams. It hadn’t been so bad, and it would be a lot cheaper than a hotel until they got settled.

He was more concerned for Adam, who would be effectively homeless after the tour ended. If they didn’t have something lined up by the time Adam returned to New York, Kurt knew that Adam had friends with sofas that he could crash on until they signed a lease, and he also could room at a hostel for a few days if needed.

Still, finding a place would have to be a priority for them. They were in this together and would see it through.

For all his tendencies to try to control and micromanage every detail, he had his greatest successes when he threw caution to the wind. Whether it was his impromptu audition, challenging Rachel to Midnight Madness or letting himself accept the flirtatious overtures from a handsome Englishman, each time he’d let his carefully crafted defenses fall he’d been rewarded beyond anything he could have hoped for.

He would have faith that he and Adam would get their practical affairs sorted out relatively quickly. Kurt didn’t care if he and Adam found themselves living in another closet-sized apartment for a year or had to leave the neighborhood where he’d felt so at home in. He just wanted for them to be together.

After tying on his running shoes, Kurt plugged in his headphones and trotted downstairs to get in the exercise that his body very much was craving. By the time he returned a bit over an hour later, Kurt was feeling much refreshed with his head cleared of the usual morning cobwebs. He stopped by his room to grab his robe and toiletries and walked down the hall to the communal showers.

A half hour later found him in the dorm break room, reading through some notes he had jotted down for his stage movement class and eating his yogurt when he spotted one of Madam Tibideaux’s assistants enter the lounge and look about. This wasn’t unusual when the Dean wanted to catch a residential student before classes started, though he did feel a trace of concern when she approached him.

“Good morning Kurt,” she greeted pleasantly. “Sorry to disturb your breakfast, but the Dean would like for you to stop by her office this morning after your lesson with Professor Collins. There’s something that she needs to discuss with you.”

No, that didn’t sound good, Kurt thought though for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything that he might have done to warrant a call to the office. All of his classes were going well, and he’d been getting nothing more than positive feedback from Madam Tibideaux during his last few sessions with her.

“Is there something wrong?” he couldn’t help from asking. This wasn’t something he needed at this moment.

The assistant just smiled, clearly aware that most students naturally assumed that being summoned to the office didn’t mean anything good. “No, not at all,” she assured him. “The Dean has a guest coming in and she wants you to join them. It’s one of NYADA’s big sponsors and she likes to show off her favored talents.”

Kurt nodded, feeling a sense of relief that he wasn’t going to be called out on the carpet over something. But being invited to meet a sponsor could mean something serious for his career prospects and he needed to make a good impression. That meant a quick touch up to his post run grooming and a change of clothes to something a bit more polished.

His morning session with Professor Collins went well, the genial teacher putting him through his paces as he showed off the greater flexibility he’d been developing in his voice. He was smiling when he left the studio, his teacher’s praise raising his spirits and putting him in a good mind to meet this sponsor. If Madam Tibideaux wanted him there, he should be confident that it was something that he was up to.

Kurt paused at the bathroom, checking his appearance one last time before heading to the dean’s office. Madam Tibideaux’s assistant was seated at her desk outside and smiled and Kurt’s approach. “You’re just in time,” she greeted, rising from her chair to greet him. “Let me just poke my head inside to make sure they’re ready for you.”

Kurt smiled and nodded, waiting patiently for her to get permission for him to enter the office. He took the opportunity to smooth out any imaginary wrinkles on his shirt before he was granted admittance. He thanked Madam Tibideaux’s assistant politely as she ushered him in and closed the door behind him before facing his teacher.

“Good morning, Madam,” he greeted politely. “I hope that I’m not late.”

The Dean placed down the cup of tea she’d been daintily sipping from and offered him an encouraging smile. “Not at all, Mr. Hummel,” she assured him. “You’re right on time. How was your session with Professor Collins?”

Kurt couldn’t resist smiling. “It went well,” he insisted confidently. “I’m feeling much more confidence in transitioning through my entire range.”

“Excellent,” Madam Tibideaux said, looking quite pleased at his pronouncement. “I’m looking forward to testing that in our next lesson.

The person seated in the chair with it’s back to the office door turned in her seat and Kurt felt his breath seize at the sight of her cap of short red hair and a wryly arched eyebrow raised. June Dolloway looked him up and down as she had at the gala, her thin lips drawing into a smile that appeared far too predatory for comfort.

“Mr. Hummel,” she greeted, more than a trace of challenge in her voice as she held up a slender hand to him.

Kurt quickly forced himself to rally, pasting a pleasant if bland expression on his face and reaching out to gently shake the older woman’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to see you again,” he claimed as sincerely as he could manage.

She just snorted, clearly not believing him. “No one is pleased to see me,” she admitted with a sharp grin, picking up her teacup. “But they act like they are because I have an obscene amount of money and I like to throw it at what suits my whims. That makes everyone polite.”

Kurt couldn’t help from admiring her honesty and lack of caring that she was more feared than admired. There was something refreshing about that kind of clear-eyed perspective. That didn’t mean that he was dropping his guard at all around her, because he suspected that she would happily eat him alive if he gave her the least opportunity.

“Have a seat, Mr. Hummel,” Madam Tibideaux offered, clearly set in her role of mediator. “Mrs. Dolloway wanted to meet you again. She was quite taken with your performance.”

Kurt smiled blandly as he settled into the offered chair. He remembered her comments at their first meeting and while they might have been compliments technically, he didn’t miss the insults that were barely hidden in her words. But he trusted Madam Tibideaux not to steer him into a situation that he would end up regretting.

Mrs. Dolloway’s expression was schooled into a neutral pleasantness, but Kurt could tell that she was watching and testing him. To see if her comments that could easily be interrupted as affronts got a response. Kurt was determined not to let her win this little meeting.

“I always do like to keep an eye on performers that interest me,” Mrs. Dolloway reminded him, the barest hint of threat in her tone. “I found you to be very intriguing. You have a unique presence on stage and I’m sure that you know how unusual your voice is.”

Kurt allowed himself to smile. “I’ve been told that once or twice,” he confirmed a bit ironically.

She pursed her lips thoughtfully at how he didn’t seem intimidated by her. “I find it utter fascinating to see someone who doesn’t seem to fit neatly in a conventional mold manage to play those parts so well. Normally they’re so focused on showing how unique they are that they make themselves unemployable.”

The warning in her tone was unmistakable and Kurt already knew exactly how to counter it. “Maybe. But I also feel that being so unique lets me stand out from everyone else,” he insisted confidently. “A countertenor whose range can cover traditional tenor roles is going to be remembered. And some composers and directors will get a chance to take advantage of what I’m able to do that others can’t.”

Mrs. Dolloway’s expression lightened a bit, as if pleased that he wasn’t cowed by her demeanor. Madam Tibideaux nodded in approval at her student and added, “One of the things that we’ve been working on is developing Mr. Hummel’s singular talents while still making him as marketable as possible. I think that going by his success in Les Misérables and his performances at the Garrison festival, we’re on the right track.”

“I haven’t been to Garrison in years,” Mrs. Dolloway mused. “Is that old coot, Tillman, still running things?”

Kurt managed not to laugh, thinking that Mrs. Dolloway should be the last person in the world to call someone old. “Yes, he’s still directing,” he confirmed. “We’re doing ‘A Midsummer Nights Dream’ and ‘Troilus and Cresida’ this season.”

Mrs. Dolloway looked at him pointedly. “And what were you cast as?” she asked pointedly, her tone clearly issuing a challenge.

Kurt smiled proudly. “Well, last season I played Don John which was really exciting as it was my first summer with the festival. This year I’m Puck and Patroclus,” he stated confidently. “I’m rather looking forward to doing another nice dramatic death and putting my stage combat to practical use.”

The sponsor seemed almost impressed. “Well, there certainly does seem to be a lot more to you than pretty hair and a flashy wardrobe,” she granted, a trifle reluctantly in Kurt’s opinion. “I suppose that you’re wondering why I wanted to meet you today.”

“The question did cross my mind,” Kurt answered back, allowing a bit of fight coming out in his voice. He wasn’t inclined to give an inch, no matter how influential Mrs. Dolloway could be.

She just smiled, amused by his show of spirit. “I mentioned a showcase that I’m organizing when we met at the gala,” she reminded him.

Kurt nodded, indicating that he’d remembered. “When I didn’t hear anything, I just thought you’d changed your mind about me participating,” he said blandly, making it clear that he hadn’t been bothered by being omitted.

If Mrs. Dolloway was offended by his lack of interest in her connections, she didn’t show it. “Well, to be honest, I was vacillating between inviting you or not,” she admitted without a trace of shame.

Kurt managed to refrain from rolling his eyes. Of course, she did.

“The showcase is scheduled next week to benefit scheduled for next week to support the Lexington Home for Retired Performers. It’s an old age home for film and stage actors,” she explained, her tone becoming more matter of fact. “I’d scheduled a number of top students from various theater programs to perform, but one of the Julliard seniors flacked out on me. Something about a nervous breakdown…”

Kurt couldn’t help from arching a brow in response.

Mrs. Dolloway looked at him pointedly. “So now I have a hole in our performance schedule that I need to fill,” she huffed. “I was thinking ‘why not give that high voiced kid a shot’.”

Kurt didn’t respond immediately, not quite sure how he wanted to take her invitation. It was hardly worded in a flattering way and while he wasn’t offended that he wasn’t among her first choices for the benefit, he wasn’t sure if the performer who dropped out really did have some kind of breakdown or if he just wanted to get away from this difficult patron.

He mentally sighed, wishing that he could beg off with rehearsals or work for the festival, but she would be able to ferret out pretty quickly what his rehearsal schedule was. Being caught in a lie would just reflect badly on him.

“This can be an interesting opportunity,” Madam Tibideaux advised, seeing his reluctance. “Many of the residents of the home were quite renowned performers in their day. You can learn a great deal by speaking with them.

“And the home really is a great asset to our community. Sadly, it’s not uncommon for actors to be left with little financial support as they age. This facility allows them a safe and dignified place during their golden years.”

Kurt didn’t doubt her, and it sounded like the exact sort of charity that he would want to support. It was indeed a worthy cause and might just be worth the effort of dealing with Mrs. Dolloway for one day.

He looked to the older woman, who was watching him with a cool, calculating stare. “I’d be happy to help,” he claimed, smiling with all the charm he could muster. “It does sound like a wonderful cause.”

Mrs. Dolloway genuinely seemed surprised that he agreed to the invitation and Kurt rather enjoyed putting her back on her expensive heels a bit. He didn’t get as far as he has by letting small minded fools stand in his way. Even if he gained nothing personally, he would be pleased to help the elderly actors have a comfortable retirement.

She finally nodded, looking a little impressed despite herself. “Good,” she granted with no trace of reluctance in her voice, and Kurt couldn’t help from thinking that he just won this little confrontation. “I’ll let Carmen know the details. I’m fairly certain that you’ll be able to come up with two numbers that would be appropriate for the occasion.”

“I will,” he assured her self-assuredly. He was already making a mental list of potential material.

“Then I will see you next week.”

Mrs. Dolloway turned back to Madam Tibideaux and placed her teacup on the desk. “Carmen, it’s been a pleasure, as always.”

When the Dean began to push her chair back to get up, Mrs. Dolloway raised her hand to stop her. “Oh, don’t bother… I can show myself out,” she insisted blandly. She turned one last look to Kurt and nodded in his direction before walking out and closing the door behind her.

Once she had left the room, Kurt allowed himself a sigh of relief and couldn’t help from wondering just what he was letting himself in for. His teacher seemed just as relieved to have her troublesome visitor leave and turned a satisfied smile to him.

“I know that she’s a bit of a character,” Madam Tibideaux granted. “But she really can be an excellent sponsor. She’s helped launch a number of careers and she’s been a tremendous financial support for our school.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Kurt insisted. “But I get the feeling that her favor can be a double-edged sword.”

Madam Tibideaux chuckled at his clear-eyed view of the matter. “I’m not going to disagree with you,” she confided. “The ones who often run our profession are the wealthy. Whether they invest in productions or patronize the ballet and opera, performers have to decide for themselves how to navigate their influence. I know this is difficult, but I think that you would gain a lot more from this experience than Mrs. Dolloway will get in bragging rights since you’ve already technically been discovered.”

Kurt knew that his teacher was taking pleasure in that respect and wouldn’t begrudge her the honors. “I just want to make sure that I perform at a level where I won’t stand out in a negative way,” he said. “It’s rather on short notice.”

“Mr. Hummel, in all the months that I’ve known you I’ve never seen you fail to rise to the occasion.If I might offer my suggestions,” she proposed with a reassuring smile, earning an enthusiastic nod from her student. “For this crowd, I would stick to something classic. Using a song from the era that many of the home’s residents were active would be well received. There are certainly enough songs that take advantage of your natural range and your unique vocal qualities.”

That made a lot of sense, Kurt thought. And he suspected that Mrs. Dolloway’s tastes would lean towards the classical. He could work with that.

“I would also like to offer some advice,” Madam Tibideaux said carefully, and Kurt looked up at his teacher intently because he trusted her judgment.

“I know that June Dolloway can be difficult to deal with, and you shouldn’t feel obligated to accept her as a sponsor just because you agreed to perform at the benefit. Even if she offers,” the dean advised. “She does have a certain amount of influence. She built up a substantial bit of wealth from her various marriages and she has a lot of connections in the business, though how seriously she can be taken seriously is open to debate.”

“Then why is she one of NYADA’s biggest donors?” Kurt asked curiously. “If she’s that out there?”

The Dean offered him a confiding smile. “Because she is willing to help support our school financially. It’s sometimes worth it for me to humor her if it opens up her checkbook, but I know what I can and should expect from her. I always warn my students who catch her eye to be very cautious in how they deal with her. Yes, she can open a lot of doors for you. But she also can be very fickle, and I’ve seen her drop proteges as abruptly as she picks them up.”

Kurt nodded in understanding, recognizing that he would need to manage this opportunity with the same care that he did the options that Coach Sylvester presented. If he could gain Mrs. Dolloway’s respect, he might be able to take advantage of her connections while not putting himself in her debt. He knew that he had enough challenges in his path without having his career controlled by someone who looked down on him in any way.

He met up with Rachel and their friends for lunch, needing their support and feedback. “I want to do this,” Kurt insisted over pizza. “It’s a really good cause, but I really don’t want anything to do with that Dolloway woman. I think that I’d just be setting myself up for trouble.”

Rachel reached out and grasped his hand in solidarity. “I think you could handle her,” she claimed, having seen her friend outsmart and manipulate people to his own ends many times before.

“Kurt, you always could just do the show and call it quits,” Analisa reminded her friend. “There’s no law that says just because you’ve agreed to perform one time that you owe her anything more. Just take advantage of getting seen a bit more.”

Kurt nodded but insisted, “I just don’t want to make any enemy of her. I get the feeling that she can really go out of her way to screw me over if I offend her in some way.”

Jamie took a big bite of his pepperoni and mushroom slice and chewed thoughtfully. “She reminds of a director I had at arts camp when I was a kid. It was obvious to everyone that she had her favorites and would go to the ends of the earth for you. Until you weren’t one of her favorites anymore. Then you might as well not exist.”

“Is everyone in our industry crazy?” Katya asked. “I mean, it would be nice just perform and not have to deal with people in charge with attitudes like that.”

“I feel like it’s some kind of test,” Kurt bemoaned. “Like Mrs. Dolloway is setting me up to fail.”

“So, don’t fail,” Rachal said logically, as if it were truly that simple. “Kurt, you don’t need us to tell you how good you are. Just treat this as a chance to perform and do what you know you can do. You don’t owe her anything more than that.”

Kurt looked to his group, yet again grateful that he’d managed to find such a wonderful collection of supportive friends.

Analisa looked to her favorite duet partner and offered a bright smile. “Mind if we tag along for moral support?” she asked.

Mrs. Dolloway hadn’t mentioned anything about him bringing guests, but Kurt didn’t see the harm. He’d feel a lot better having a few friendly faces in the audience.

“I’d love you guys to be there,” he said. “I’m not going to hoard the chance to mingle and network.”

Kayta reached out to pinch his cheek. “So generous,” she praised.

Kurt playfully swatted her hand away, earning a round of laughter from his friends. Relieved that he wouldn’t be facing Mrs. Dolloway without some reinforcements at his back, he looked thankfully at his friends.

“I really appreciate this, guys,” he said sincerely. “But let’s dig in… this pizza isn’t going to eat itself.”

* * *

Adam looked at the theater marquee, feeling both a great sense of pride and a tremendous wash of relief. Their final opening for the national tour was just a few short days away. After this, it would be a countdown until they all were able to return home.

He hadn’t quite known what to expect from this job, but it had been both tremendously fulfilling and harder than he could have ever imagined. Still, despite how painful as his separation from Kurt had been, he honestly wouldn’t trade the experience he’d gained. He was learning a great deal more about himself as an actor and Adam knew that the connections he’d made and the regard he’d earned would serve him well in the future.

He walked over to the stage door, greeting the security guard pleasantly before being admitted and directed towards the dressing rooms. This was probably the largest venue that they’d performed in to date and with the relatively small cast, he’d only be sharing the dressing room with Niall. The racks with their costumes were already in place, the costumes wrapped neatly in plastic to protect them during the shipping process.

It would be nice to have the extra space and a bit of relative privacy, Adam considered as he set down his makeup kit and began to organize the dressing table to his liking. He pulled out a folder containing the photos that he would want to have close at hand. Some of them were getting a little battered from their months long journey around the country but were all the more precious to him as a result. There were his parents, who had never failed to support his aspirations and one with his big sister posing with a shaggy rescue pony. He had a photo of his Apples, taken as their last get together before he left on the tour and most importantly, one of his Kurt to be placed in a spot of honor so that Adam could see him at all times.

Adam smiled and couldn’t resist tracing the outline of Kurt’s features with his fingertip. He missed his lovely boy so much and couldn’t wait to see him again. So much had happened for the both of them and he was eager to see his young man having grown into the potential that Adam knew that Kurt possessed from the start. He had always known that Kurt was an exceptional being, both as a performer and as a man and now it appeared that the rest of the world was starting to catch on as well. He was looking forward to seeing how Kurt was handling the real recognition of his worth.

These final weeks of Butcher’s Bill was setting Adam on the course for his career and he knew that Kurt was likewise taking concrete steps towards his own. All of this was worthwhile, Adam told himself. They had so much to look forward to and Adam was never more confident that they would be facing their future together.

He had a few hours before their director would be arriving for their afternoon run-through. That should leave him a bit of time to relax and maybe do a bit of sightseeing with his friends. Now that the end of the road was clearly within sight, he found his normal optimism and good spirits returning in full.

Making one last check that he had everything that he needed, he stepped out of the theater into the bright sunlight. The anxiety that he’d felt for so long was finally easing and he looked forward to the challenges that these final weeks of the tour would present. For once, he felt more than ready.

* * *

“You look fantastic,” Rachel assured him as Kurt checked the lay of his tie for what was likely the nineteenth time in her estimation. She gently took his hands and forced them down to halt his fussing.

“Are you sure?” he asked, checking his outfit once again to make sure that the creases on his designer slacks were pressed straight and his shoes were polished to a gleaming finish. Rather than giving into his first instinct to wear one of his more conservative outfits, he’d decided to go with something that was truer to his personality. The bold herringbone pattern of his dress pants tailored to fit the line of his body perfectly and drew attention to his best assets while the button-down shirt had just enough stretch that he could wear it tight enough to take advantage of his shoulders. His hair had been freshly cut and styled, the sides neat and the top combed into a tall crest.

“It’s fine,” she promised with a warm smile. “You’re not nervous, are you? This kind of performance is right up your alley.”

Kurt sighed, knowing that he was being silly. Maybe his choice of material was a little ambitious, but he was confident in his abilities to handle it.

He knew what the issue was, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Mrs. Dolloway’s opinion of him still rankled. He didn’t know if she was actually homophobic or just enjoyed needling people where they might be vulnerable, but he was really put off by her attitude. If it hadn’t been for the cause that this showcase would be benefiting and Madam Tibideaux’s show of support, he didn’t know if it was worthwhile to put himself through this.

There were eight students performing, and he was one of three representing NYADA. Most of the others were from Julliard, and he could certainly admire their talents. These were students primarily focused on classical technique, with a good number of them on track for professional opera or recording artist careers. He was suddenly quite grateful for Madam Tibideaux insisting on him focusing on classical technique in his own development. He should be able to hold his own with a group like this.

He also couldn’t argue that Mrs. Dolloway wasn’t throwing a lot of money at this event. She’d rented out the Studio 54 theater space, setting it up like a nightclub venue with tables and seats arranged about the stage. There was plenty of room for the various guests and donors attending, but tables situated closest to the stage were dedicated to the residents of the actor’s home. The elderly performers had turned out in their best clothing, apparently eager for the outing and looking forward to seeing what the younger generation had to offer.

Kurt’s own friends were seated towards the back, and he was grateful for their presence. He hadn’t expected to find so many good friends at NYADA but felt very privileged to have done so. Between his classmates and the Apples, he had a solid base of support in New York. That his relationships didn’t boil down to nothing but rivals that would cheerfully kneecap him any chance they got had come as a deep relief for him.

Deep inside, Kurt felt a bit of a thrill that he would be standing on a Broadway stage, even if it wasn’t an actual Broadway production. Not that it looked much like a proper theater, but he knew the names of the famous actors who’d performed in that venue. Knowing that his small contribution to the history of this newer theater filled him with a sense of pride.

Rachel leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, careful not to get any lipstick on him. “I’m going to go join the others,” she said, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “I’ll see you when you’re done.”

He nodded and offered his friend a thankful smile. “Rachel… thanks for coming today.”

She just grinned back. “Did you ever think that I would miss this?” she chuckled. “Break a leg!”

Left alone, Kurt moved to join the other performers, grateful that for once he didn’t feel completely out of his element. The two NYADA students were performers that he’d become very familiar with over the past months, having worked them during their run of Les Miserables. He wasn’t at all surprised that Mrs. Dolloway had invited Brett Sosa, given that he had the classic good looks and honey-smooth tenor that would appeal to a broad audience. He was a bit surprised that she’d invited the young woman who’d played Cosette rather than the more dynamic singers for Eponine and Fantine. But Abigail Thomas was gifted with one of the most gorgeous soprano voices that Kurt head ever heard, and he knew that she would make the audience very pleased.

He greeted them cheerfully, glad to have some familiar faces in the group. “I was wondering who Mrs. Dolloway would wrangle from NYADA,” he said confidingly. “I should have figured that you two would be her top picks.”

Brett gave him a warm pat on the back. “Good to see you, Kurt,” he greeted happily. “We were wondering ourselves since she was being so damned closed mouthed about things.

Abigail nodded in agreement. “I’m trying to figure out why I’m here since everyone knows she never sponsors women,” she complained lightly with a knowing smirk. “She likes to go after men who remind her of one of her husbands.”

Kurt couldn’t help from laughing. “I wonder which of them I remind her of,” he mused amusedly. “Because he must have really pissed her off at some point.”

Brett chuckled in response. “Madam Tibideaux did warn me that she was a character,” he advised. “But she can open doors and if she can get me in front of the right people, it might be worth it. I’ve been hitting auditions and I really need to nail down some work after graduation.”

“Me too,” Abigail sighed. “You’re lucky, Kurt. You probably aren’t facing the same kind of pressure just yet.”

No, he wasn’t, Kurt acknowledged to himself. But he had his own pressure to deal with. It didn’t pass his notice that, yet again, he was the least conventional performer in the room. Even so, he wasn’t going to allow that to bother him. He was looking forward to showing off his mettle against the kind of tenors and baritones that they audience expected to see and the song he’d chosen for the occasion would make the most of his full range as a singer.

Maybe it was petty and even a bit counterproductive, but he was looking forward to seeing Mrs. Dolloway’s self-satisfied smirk vanish when she realized that he wasn’t going to crumble in front of her. He wasn’t just going to match what the other students were able to do; he was going to be the best on that stage.

Mrs. Dolloway swept into the backstage area, dressed in a pale grey Chanel suit and Kurt judged that the jewelry she was sporting that looked like it could probably cover all the students’ rent for the next three years. She looked over the group and offered a smile that held nothing in the way of genuine warmth. Like all the interactions that Kurt had with her up until this point, her expression was predatory and slightly contemptuous of everyone she came across. He couldn’t help from wondering if she actually liked any of the prospects that she sponsored, of if she just enjoyed jerking their chains as she dangled prospects and possibilities before them.

“I’m so glad to see you all,” she greeted benignly, if not with any great sincerity. “Before we get started, I wanted to thank you for supporting this very worthy cause. We’ve got a good-sized crowd and I’ve got them well primed for you. I certainly hope that that you all perform at the level I’ve come to expect from students of your caliber.”

None of the students missed the threat in her carefully chosen words, that whatever support they might hope for with this patron would evaporate if they didn’t perform at their best. Of what they could expect if their best was judged not good enough.

A few of the students looked genuinely nervous and Kurt suspected that at least a few of them sincerely wanted to gain Mrs. Dolloway’s support for their careers. He felt himself smile a little bit, relaxing when he realized that he honestly didn’t much care if the arrogant woman liked him at all. He just wanted to perform well for his audience, especially the elderly actors who deserved to have a pleasant afternoon. And for his friends who were so supportive of him. He didn’t want to disappoint them.

From their position offstage, he could hear Mrs. Dolloway greeting her audience and Kurt tuned her out. He didn’t care much about whatever spiel she pulled out of her finely dressed ass. He was sure that she would be able to coax some decent funds for the retirement home and his only purpose there was to perform to the best of his ability. Then he could hopefully put June Dolloway in his rear-view mirror.

One by one, the students were called out onto the stage and Kurt allowed himself to enjoy their performances. Mrs. Dolloway might be a total pill, but she did seem to have a real eye and ear for talent. Every one of the students she’d invited to perform were, to an individual, exceptional. He never had a problem admiring the talents of others and he felt rather privileged to be counted in a group like this.

There didn’t seem to be any set pattern to how they were called up, and he knew that he’d better be prepared at an instant’s notice. He’d done his warmups and just focused on keeping his vocal cords loosened and lubricated. Swishing some lukewarm water in his mouth before swallowing, he mentally ran through his performance notes, wanting to give his best effort.

Brett had just completed an absolutely stunning rendition of “Almost Like Being In Love” to great applause from their appreciate audience when Mrs. Dolloway stepped onto the stage, applauding him with a smile. Once the audience settled, she turned to them with a teasing smile.

“Well, now I think it’s time for something a little different,” she pronounced. “NYADA certainly has been generous with the talent we have this afternoon, so let me present Mr. Kurt Hummel.”

She looked to the stage wings and gave Kurt an appraising look, as if daring him to back out but he just smiled serenely. Not even taking a second to check his outfit one last time, Kurt stepped onto the stage and nodded his thanks to the prickly patron. Mrs. Dolloway just smiled and nodded a challenge to him before allowing him the stage.

Kurt turned his focus to the audience and the band began to play the opening strains to his first number. He wondered if anyone watching him would be surprised at his choice because this song had the potential to be a total train wreak if the melody got away from him at any point.

There was a gentle rhythm that felt almost like a heartbeat, and his voice rose out gently to match it. “Like the beat, beat beat of the tom tom,” he sang gently, each word falling neatly onto the percussion. “When the jungle shadows fall.”

His voice shifted octave just slightly, slipping into the next level of his range with smooth effortlessness, the words trailing elegantly. “Like the tick, tick, tock of the stately clock as it stands against the wall.”

The octave shifted again, and Kurt’s voice rose to meet it. “Like the drip, drip drip of the raindrops, when the summer shower is through,” he sang smoothly, his voice adjusting to the quick change from higher to low notes without any breaks. “So a voice within me keeps repeating you, you, you…”

The heartbeat rhythm was replaced by a warm jazzy tone and Kurt’s voice slipped easily into the new cadence. “Night and day, you are the one,” he sang passionately, allowing a faraway smile to touch his features as he thought about the man who was inspiring him. “Only you, beneath the moon and under the sun. Whether near to me or far… It’s no matter darling, where you are. I think of you…”

Kurt knew that technically had had it. His voice agilely danced through the various octaves and key changes without any hint of struggle. The song made use of nearly his entire range and required him to be able to bounce from octave to octave without hesitation or interruption.

But he was no mere technician. The warmth in his voice and the soul powering the words was what would set him apart. The singer was a man deeply, passionately in love and Kurt certainly had enough of those feelings to lend appropriate authenticity to his performance.

“Night and day,” he crooned, allowing all his feelings for Adam come out in his voice. “Day and night. Why is it so? This longing for you follows me wherever I go. In the roaring traffic’s boom. In the silence of my lonely room, I think of you.”

This separation had been one of the hardest things he’d endured, but his feelings for Adam had only grown. If absence did indeed make the heart grow fonder, then his heart was nearly overflowing with love for his absent partner. He could only express it now in his voice.

“Night and day. Night and day!” The key changed and Kurt voice rose elegantly as he slid into his upper range. “Under the hide of me. There’s an oh! Such a hungry yearning burning inside of me.”

He moved across the stage, doing a soft weave step that worked nicely with the flow of the music, letting himself get lost in the music and emotion. His voice slipped easily into his lower register, coiling like a spring.

“And its torment won’t be through, till you let me spend my life making love…” Kurt’s voice shot up to his upper register and he held the note for a long, dramatic second before letting it fall back into his middle range. “To you! Day and night! Night and day!”

He finished with a vocal flourish and couldn’t help from smiling when the audience applauded enthusiastically. Kurt thought that he’d sounded quite good but getting that kind of feedback from an artistically educated and appreciative audience… it would never get old.

Through the lights, he could see his audience. Mostly the seniors seated at the tables who seemed especially enthusiastic. One in particular caught his eye; a petite dumpling of a woman with short grey hair and grinning widely as she applauded. He smiled at her, nodding his thanks.

As for Mrs. Dolloway, standing in the wings… Kurt didn’t bother to look for her reaction, because it didn’t matter to him if she liked his performance or not. The band was already cuing up the music for his next number and he had an audience to focus on.

He was glad that he’d selected an upbeat number for his second performance, using songs from the same songwriter to tie his act together. He’d already proven that he was a singer. Now he could let them see just how much of a showman he could be.

He smiled beatifically looking out to the audience, using the older woman he’d spotted as a focus. “When the little blue bird who has never said a word, starts to sing, ‘Spring, spring’,” he trilled gently, letting his voice float on the music. “When the little blue bell in the bottom of the dell, starts to ring, ‘Ting, ting’.”

He did a little bit of dancing, moving across the stage as he sang. “When the little blue clock in the middle of his work, sings a song to the moon up above.” Kurt allowed a bit more power to come out in his voice but kept it carefully under control. “It is nature that's all, simply telling us to fall in love…”

He allowed a short pause to build up anticipation before continuing softly. “And that's why birds do it, bees do it,” he crooned delicately. “Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it! let's fall in love.”

Love might be the subject of ninety nine percent of songs written, he’d considered, but he didn’t know of many songs that so perfectly expressed the joy of discovering love. That one wasn’t above that heady emotion when sense could be tossed aside in favor of just feeling. Sometimes it would strike like a lightning bolt, but other times it came on more gradually. Like sinking into a perfectly warm bath. He’d been fortunate to have discovered love in both ways but having that moment when you truly fell was some of the most wondrous, terrifying moments of his life.

“In Spain, the best upper sets do it,” he confided playfully. “Lithuanians and Letts do it. Let's do it, let's fall in love.”

Kurt saw the plump little woman nodding approvingly, watching with the others seated at her table. An elegantly handsome black man leaned over to whisper something in her ear, his eyes focused on Kurt with the other man just watched with a slightly dazed smile on his face.

“Some Argentines without means, do it,” Kurt lilted, letting the best qualities of his voice shine. He knew that his voice was distinctive, and he wasn’t going to hide that fact no matter what Mrs. Dolloway thought. “People say in Boston even beans do it. Let’s do it! Let’s fall in love!”

Kurt had enough dance training under his belt that even though he hadn’t enough time to plan his choreography in advance, he could improvise and have it look thought out. He turned on one foot and danced across the stage as he sang, using the jazz technique that Ms. July had beaten into him and used the movement to accent his vocals. He could see the approval of the audience as they clapped in time to the music and cheered him on.

He gave a final spin, coming to stop in front of the older woman’s table and offered her and her friends a charming smile. “The world admits bears in pits do it,” he sang, letting more power come into his voice and giving the woman a sly smile and a little shimmy of his shoulders, causing her to giggle in response. “Even Pekingeses at the Ritz do it. Let’s do it! Let’s fall in love.

“The royal set sans regret did it, and they considered it fun. Marie Antoinette did it, with or with about Napoleon!” Kurt confided to his audience, glad that they were enjoying the bawdy nonsense. “Parliament pleasure bent did it. Mam’selles every time they’re short of rent did it.

“Let’s do it,” he belted, winding up for the conclusion and letting his voice soar. “Let’s fall in love!”

It might not have been the same thrill that he got from performing Les Misérables, but the audience was applauding and cheering, and Kurt couldn’t be more pleased. He gave a brief bow and waved to the crowd before stepping off stage.

Mrs. Dolloway was giving him an odd, appraising look but didn’t have the opportunity to speak with him right away. She stepped out to introduce the next performer and Kurt took the opportunity to make a quick escape.

He stopped by Abigail and Brett, the three of them quietly congratulating one another for their fine performances before Kurt made his way to where they audience was seated. Taking care not to draw attention to himself and detract from the young woman singing a glorious aria, he stealthily made his way to the table at the back where his friends were seated. They were all smiles and while they couldn’t immediately express what they thought without disturbing others seated around them, Kurt knew that he had done what he’d set out to do.

Rachel smiled at him warmly, her dark eyes clearly communicating how well she thought he’d done and reached out to grasp his hand. He returned the loving squeeze and allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder while they watched the remaining performers.

Once all the students were finished, Mrs. Dolloway took the stage again bask in the admiration of the audience, nodding her thanks at their applause. With practiced graciousness, she thanked all the performers and sponsors of the retirement home, urging everyone to stay for the reception. The house lights came on to illuminate the room and the band began to play a pleasant jazz set so that everyone could mingle and talk.

Now that the hard part was over, Kurt turned to his friends with a satisfied smile. “Thanks for being here, guys,” he said sincerely. “It was really reassuring, knowing that you were out here.”

Analisa got up to hug her favorite duet partner about his shoulders. “Don’t be silly,” she admonished playfully. “Did you really think we would miss it? We’re all in this together.”

Jamie clapped Kurt on the arm fondly. “Why don’t we go see what kind of food they’ve got,” he suggested.

Kurt smiled and nodded, offering his arms to both Analisa and Rachel, while Jamie happily escorted Katya. There was an open bar which provided Kurt with a very well-deserved glass of white wine while waiters circulated through the crowd with trays of finger foods. Taking a fried nibble that turned out to be brie and fig preserves, Kurt mentally prepared himself to do the whole meet and greet thing. While he’d much rather hang out with his friends and enjoy the free food, he knew that it would be stupid to waste the opportunity to network on June Dolloway’s dime. Especially if he could share the wealth with his friends.

After making the rounds, accepting compliments on his performance and pocketing a few business cards from some professionals who wanted to keep Kurt on their radar, he decided that he now had full right to relax and enjoy the party. A plate of munchies and Kurt was happy to sit at a convenient table with his friends to talk. They didn’t often have the chance to enjoy outings like this and he certainly wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity.

“I could use another drink,” he pronounced after finishing off his first glass of wine. “Can I get anyone anything?”

“No, we’re good,” Jamie assured him.

Kurt got up from his seat and took his empty glass with him to head towards the bar. He’d already planned to cut himself off after two glasses of wine, knowing that this was not the kind of setting where getting sloppy would be appreciated. The crowd was a bit thick and he carefully waded his way through but couldn’t avoid being collided by someone who’d been nudged into his path. Kurt quickly caught her, helping her find her balance again.

“I’m so sorry!” the woman exclaimed, alarmed as the glass she held sloshed a bit. “Did I get anything on you?”

Even in the less than ideal light, Kurt could see that his outfit was free of liquid stains. “No, it’s fine,” he assured her, offering a smile.

She inhaled a deep sigh of relief. “Thank goodness! I would have hated to ruin your outfit after that wonderful performance you just gave us,” she admitted with a smile.

Kurt quickly recognized her as the older woman that he’d focused on during his performance and realized that she was even more adorable than he’d originally perceived from the stage. With her round face and neat cap of grey hair, she looked like she would be perfectly at home baking cookies for a score of grandchildren.

That was until he caught the mischievous glint in her eyes behind her glasses. That indicated less an inclination towards baking and a nature more inclined to being the source of trouble wherever she went.

“At least this gives me the chance to thank you,” she said with a warm smile. “You were absolutely wonderful.”

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling back. “Thank you very much,” he answered sincerely. I’m so happy that you enjoyed it.”

“Well, it’s such a pleasure to meet you in person,” she said sweetly. “I’m Maggie.”

Kurt took her hand and shook it gently, amazing at how soft her skin was over joints that were clearly showing signs of advanced arthritis. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Maggie. I’m Kurt.”

The handsome black man that Maggie had been seated with hurried over, trailed by another man with a perpetually dazed smile on his face. “Maggie, here you are,” he exclaimed, a hint or reprimand in his voice. “We were looking all over for you.”

“Oh hush… I was just talking to my new friend here,” Maggie explained. “This is Kurt and he just saved me from being knocked to the floor.”

She sighed happily. “It’ been so long since I’ve had a handsome young man to take care of me,” she teased with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Despite how she overstated his rescue of her, Kurt couldn’t help from smiling back, flattered by her compliment.

“Oh, come on,” the handsome black man reprimanded playfully. “My grandson visited just last week. He did your hair for you!”

Maggie blushed and laughed, hand-waving away her friend’s protestations. She turned a teasing smile to Kurt. “Don’t listen to him,” she insisted, patting his hand. “He always tries to spoil my fun.”

She looked to her friend and explained, “This is that lovely young man that we saw in Les Misérables. Remember?”

The man’s eyes widened slightly in recognition. “I should have remembered that,” he said ruefully. “A voice like that, you don’t forget too quickly.

“I’m Andy and this here is Marty,” he introduced, shaking Kurt’s hand warmly. “It’s so nice to meet such a talented young man.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said sincerely. “I wasn’t sure if anyone here saw our show.”

Andy couldn’t help from laughing loudly at that bit of absurdity. “Son, I don’t think there’s anyone in this room that didn’t see that show,” he insisted with a broad smile that looked far too sexy on a man his age. “It was a nice surprise to see some of the performers from it here today.”

Kurt couldn’t help from laughing at their antics. “Madam Tibideaux told me a bit about your retirement home and I couldn’t resist wanting to help,” he said with a smile. “It sounds like a really nice place.”

Andy nodded, taking a sip of his drink that appeared to be scotch and water. “It is,” he assured the younger man. “Especially when you consider that all of the residents have a lot of shared life and career experiences. Gives us plenty to talk about.”

Maggie nodded in agreement. “They have a lot of activities for old actors like us. We get to see most of the new Broadway shows, and we go to a lot of school and local productions,” she explained. “There was no way that we would miss that one.”

Her smile turned a bit mischievous as she appraised him. “I recognized you the instant you came on the stage.”

Kurt couldn’t help from laughing a bit. “I’m flattered,” he said sincerely.

“It’s a lot of fun, watching all you youngsters,” Andy complimented. “Reminds me of our glory days. I probably wasn’t much older than you when I made my big debut.”

“Oh hush, Andy,” Maggie reprimanded playfully. “He doesn’t want to hear our old stories. And we’re being so rude, taking him away from his friends like this.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt promised with a chuckle. He glanced over at the table where his friends were seated and caught Rachel’s questioning gesture at what was keeping him. He nodded his head towards his current companions and Rachel smiled knowingly, rolling her eyes playfully. “I see them all the time at school.”

Before he could say anything more, he saw Mrs. Dolloway approaching them. Her face was set in a smile, but Kurt could easily see that it was just a front for the guests. The look in her pale eyes was positively steely and whatever hope he had of finishing the day without an uncomfortable confrontation with her was totally extinguished.

“I hate to rush away,” he said was honest regret, because he would much rather hear their stories about the old days than deal with the unpredictable sponsor. “But I see Mrs. Dolloway and it look like she wants to speak with me.”

“Well, it’s been a pleasure, Kurt,” Andy said graciously, offering another brilliant smile. “You were excellent today and we’re all looking forward to seeing more from you.”

Maggie leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Thanks for rescuing me,” she said sincerely. “I hope that we see more of you soon.”

He smiled back, giving her hand a fond squeeze. “It was wonderful to meet you,” he said graciously before turning to face the difficult sponsor. He was mentally steeling himself when he jumped in surprise because someone just pinched his ass. He turned in shock to see Maggie strolling away with her friends to find new entertainments but not without turning a mischievous smile in his direction and giving him a quick wave. Almost before he had a chance to mentally regroup, he was faced with his biggest challenge of the day.

“Well, Mr. Hummel,” Mrs.Dolloway pronounced with obviously false sweetness. “That performance was certainly not what I would have expected from you.”

Kurt let himself smile, detecting the bare trace of hard-won respect in her tone. “I’m pleased that I was able to surpass your expectations,” he allowed himself to respond with carefully politeness.

Her mouth pursed thoughtfully. “Well, it certainly wasn’t anything I would have expected,” she granted. “And I’ve gotten some decent feedback from some of our donors on your performance.”

Kurt had the feeling that getting an actual compliment from this woman would be like trying to extract state secrets from James Bond. Nor did he think that it would be worth the effort. He knew how well he’d done and didn’t need the confirmation from someone that evidently didn’t respect him.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he granted with a smile, pouring on the sugar. “Especially since it’s going to benefit the retirement home residents.”

Something seemed to soften in Mrs. Dolloway’s eyes at his disinterest in trying to reap glory for his own benefit. He would have every right to be proud of what he’d brought to that stage but had the grace to recognize that this day wasn’t about him in the end. It was about those lovely old actors getting support and respect from a younger generation.

She quickly regained her mental equilibrium, pasting a tolerant expression on her face as if trying to reason with an unruly child. Gazing at him appraisingly, she stated “I have other performance opportunities over the next few weeks that might interest you. Perhaps we could set up a time to discuss the options.”

Kurt’s eyebrow arched in surprise at the offer. He would have thought that he would be the last person she would invite back to another of her showcases.

Trying to look apologetic and not sure if he was being totally convincing, Kurt gave a regretful sigh. “I wish that I could,” he said with as much sincerity as he could force into his voice without sounding saccharine. “But we’re getting to the end of the semester and I’ve got all my finals and critiques to get through. Then right after that, I start rehearsals for the Garrison festival and that will tie me up all summer. I’m afraid that I’m just not going to have any free time to take on any more committments.”

At least not any where Mrs. Dolloway was concerned, he said to himself with an internal smirk.

His excuse was plausible enough given the time of the year and not something that she could actually protest since he still had two years of school to go. “I suppose that your semester is winding down,” she granted with a huff. “And I doubt that Carmen would be forgiving if I distracted you from your studies.”

Kurt nodded, glad that she was buying it. To be honest, if he really wanted to, he probably could have found time to manage another showcase. He’d become very adept at juggling an overloaded schedule, but Mrs. Dolloway made it difficult for him to justify putting himself out in any way.

Still, she didn’t appear to be trying to be deliberately awful at the moment and he was glad to have helped support the retirement home. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to make nice to the old harridan.

“Maybe once school starts again,” he offered, wanting to end this on a positive note so that he at least didn’t have to worry about an enemy. While it would be idiotic for Mrs. Dolloway to try to hamstring his prospects, it would be equally stupid on his part to antagonize her unnecessarily.

“Especially if your showcase benefits a cause like this,” he added with genuine sincerity. “I was very happy to give my support today. Anything for old folks or animals… I’m pretty much a sucker for those.”

That got a genuine laugh from the cantankerous woman, and Kurt thought that just maybe he might get out of this with his professional reputation intact.

Mrs. Dolloway offered a brief nod, accepting both his refusal and the offered olive branch with a lot more grace that he would have expected. “I’ll definitely keep that in mind if the opportunity comes up,” she assured him with a sharp-toothed grin. “Even if it doesn’t, I’ll be keeping my eye on you. I’m curious enough to see how you develop going forward. You’re an interesting young man, Mr. Hummel.”

There was just enough warning in her tone to imply that she was being entirely truthful, and Kurt knew well enough not to poke a snarling cat with a stick. He reached out to take her hand, as if to shake it, but surprised her by pressing a feather-light kiss to her thin fingers.

“I’ll try to keep surprising you,” he assured her, offering a bit of a saucy wink that got another laugh from Mrs. Dolloway. She shook her head bemusedly as she walked off to find someone else to torture.

Walking back to his friends, Kurt allowed himself a sigh of relief at having managed to escape what could have been a very painful entanglement. He knew that he had handled things as well as he possibly could have managed and all things considered, it hadn’t been a terrible way to spend an afternoon. He got to offer support to a worthy cause, performed well before and appreciative audience and apparently had managed to avoid being mauled by a difficult patron.

All in all, he was rather pleased with himself. And he’d have some interesting stories to tell Adam when he returned home.

* * *

At one point, having a day off meant that Adam could rest. Being on the road and performing on tour was draining and he knew that if he intended to survive with his sanity intact, that he needed to take the opportunity to relax when presented with it. Certainly, he and his friends did sightseeing and took advantage of the various cities that they performed in. He was glad to have the opportunity to see so much of the country that he had made his home in.

But this day off would allow little time for decompressing or taking a long nap to recharge. Not when he had just a few weeks left of work and no flat to return to. He wanted to review the listings and narrow down some options before asking Kurt to take time from his studies to see them in person. Adam knew that Kurt would have his finals soon and had precious little time to go looking at apartments when he should be focused on his studies.

While staying in their old neighborhood would have been ideal for Kurt, as he could walk to school when the weather permitted and they were familiar with the area, he knew that they should also branch out a bit. Being closer to the theater district might work out and put him closer to work and auditions. And while he had a very nice chuck of his pay stashed in the bank, he knew that it needed to last until Butcher’s Bill started up in New York. Something that they could afford would be critical.

Adam had lived in New York long enough to know that the real estate market was cutthroat and apartments that seemed ideally suited to their needs would vanish from the market in an instant. It was frustrating to compile a list of prospects, only to have them snapped up before he could ask Kurt to see them in person.

Niall watched his increasing vexation with amusement, rolling his eyes as Adam ranted at another possible flat was rented before they could even check the apartment out.

“Mate, why are you driving yourself barmy like this?” he asked, watching from his bed as Adam was reviewing yet another group of listings.

Adam turned an irritated look to his friend. “Because NYADA isn’t going to let me move into Kurt’s dorm room when we get back to New York,” he snapped, aggravated by the lack of progress in finding himself a home. “I’m not fancying being homeless.”

Niall shook his head in amusement. “Just call an agent,” he suggested, as if the solution was so plainly obvious and Adam was three kinds of idiot for not noticing it sooner. “Let them do all the leg work. Just tell them when you’ll need your place by.”

Adam looked at the other Englishman, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of that sooner. Exasperated with his own stubbornness, he did a quick internet search and found an agent had very positive reviews from past clients. Speaking to her, he learned that her fee was paid by the landlords after the lease was signed, as they were saved time and work by having their prospective tenants cleared by someone else and Adam explained what he and Kurt were looking for.

A one bedroom at least, so that he and Kurt would have some wiggle room and not be living in one another’s pockets the whole time. Two bedrooms would be even better, letting one room stand as a study/guest room but he knew that would probably be out of their budgets. A decent kitchen with a dishwasher. They didn’t mind a walk up, but if the flat was more than three stories up they were prefer a building with a lift. He explained that while he wouldn’t be back in New York to sign the lease for a few weeks, they could put a deposit down to secure the flat until he returned.

She expressed confidence that she’d be able to find something for him that would be available when he returned to New York and that it would be no problem for Kurt to see the apartments in his stead. Within three days, Adam had a group of listings to review. He picked out the ones that he thought suited best and forwarded them to Kurt to look over.

“The Chelsea apartment is awfully expensive,” Kurt mused on their afternoon call. “And it’s pretty far from the subway.”

“I was thinking that myself,” Adam said regretfully. It was the largest of the flats they were considering and ticked off most of the boxes, but it was at the high end of their budget. Being comfortable didn’t matter much if they were left starving in order to cover the rent. “We can cross that one off our list. What about the one in Hell’s Kitchen? I know it’s a walk-up, but it’s only the second floor. And it’s a few blocks from the subway and the bus going downtown.”

The agent had been especially pleased to find that apartment and it would become available right around the time Adam was finishing in California. Newly renovated and in an area that she assured him had plenty of good restaurants and shopping and was very friendly to same-sex couples, it sounded like a fine place for Adam to land in.

Kurt took a moment and looked over the listing. “I like this one,” he decided. “I won’t be able to walk to school, but it shouldn’t take me too long to get there. And there’s a laundromat right down the block, so we won’t have to go too far for clean underwear.”

“And it’s not at all far from the theater district,” Adam noted. “It’s only one bedroom, but I think that it’ll be large enough for us to be comfortable. Maybe look at this one and two flats in the West Village.”

“Sounds good,” Kurt agreed. “I’ll make arrangements to see them and we’ll make a final choice. That is, if you trust me.”

Adam couldn’t help from laughing at the absurd nothing. “Of course I do, love,” he assured Kurt lovingly. “I have no doubt that you’ll pick the right home for us.”

Kurt fell silent for a moment and Adam couldn’t help from prodding, “Sweetheart?”

“It’s okay,” Kurt assured him. “It’s just… it feels like you’ve been away for so long. This just makes you coming home real.”

Adam smiled at the longing in his lover’s voice. He’d missed Kurt so badly the past few months and finding a new flat was the confirmation that their time apart was coming to an end.

“And this will be our place,” he reminded Kurt. “Not one of us moving into a space where the other had already set down roots. We’ll make it our home, together.”

He heard Kurt sniffle over the line and wished that he could be there to take his beautiful lad into his arms. Just a few short weeks, he told himself.

“I can’t wait,” Kurt insisted. “I just want to hold you and never let go.”

Hearing Kurt’s longing expressed so plainly caused Adam’s heart to tighten within his chest. They’d survived this trial and very soon would be reaping the rewards for everything that they’d gone through.

It would only be a few more weeks, he told himself.

* * *

Kurt looked about the empty apartment, glad that he’d brought Rachel along for both company and to offer an unbiased opinion. After sleeping in a dorm room, however comfortable, Kurt was desperate for some real privacy and his own shower. While Adam trusted him to make a good choice that suited both of them, Kurt worried that he’d take whatever apartment he was shown first. Having one of his closest friends who knew his tastes so well would help him to make a more reasoned decision.

He'd already decided that one of the West Village apartments might be a contender, having enough space for them to live in comfortably. The other was too small despite technically being a one bedroom and the bathroom was sorely out of date despite the high rent the landlord was requesting. Climbing up the steps to an old pre-war brownstone on the west side, he hoped that this apartment might suit them better.

“The apartment gets a lot of good natural light,” the broker, Monica, explained as she guided them around. “The windows are new and will muffle out a lot of the street noise.”

Kurt nodded as he checked out the kitchen that had clearly been recently renovated. While like most kitchens in New York apartments it was on the small side, there was more space than in Adam’s old place and he was confident that both he and Adam could be cooking together without tripping over one another. It had more than enough cabinet and counter space for their needs and all the appliances were brand new, including the coveted dishwasher.

The living area was decent sized, and Kurt thought that they could fit in an actual dining table that could accommodate more than just the two of them, as well as a sofa and loveseat so they could entertain guests. He loved the exposed brick wall and the honey-warm hardwood floors, listening to his shoes clicking as he walked through the place.

“Does the fireplace work?” Rachel asked, eyeing the space in the brick wall and the small mantle accenting it enviously. Kurt didn’t blame her, as he was already envisioning hanging up their stockings during the winter holidays and setting up an elegantly decorated tree or curling up on the floor together in front of a roaring fire.

Monica shook her head. “I’m afraid not,” she clarified. “The shaft is sealed off. But you can put in an electric log heater. I have one in my own place and it gives the feel of having a real fire. It’s also a lot safer.”

Kurt nodded absently, making a note of that to relay to Adam. A functioning fireplace was on neither of their “must have” lists and it certainly wouldn’t be something that would remove this apartment from consideration. They could still have romantic evenings together, even if their fire was electrical. Having a fireplace, even a non-functional one was a definite bonus.

The bathroom had also undergone recent renovations, with a cleanly tiled shower that looked like he and Adam could share if they didn’t mind being in very close quarters he noted with a pleased smirk. There was a linen closet right opposite the bathroom, giving them additional storage space. And the bedroom…

Kurt took measure of the size, seeing that they could easily fit in a large bed and a dresser for each of them. A peek in the closet confirmed that there was enough space so that they wouldn’t be fighting over every square inch. The room had been painted recently a pale beige that invited him to imagine their pictures on the wall and white blinds on the windows that would give the space a refined but homey feel.

He thought back to the day that he and Rachel first saw the Bushwick loft and that instant that they both realized that they could make that big empty space a home. That they were able to look past the bare walls and cheerless interior and see where they could build their lives in New York. The other apartments he’d been looking at were nice, but this was the first apartment where Kurt could actually see himself and Adam living.

If he gave the word, Adam would go along with his opinion. They would pay the deposit and sign the lease as soon as Adam was back in New York. Adam could get moved in and start setting up while Kurt was finishing his classes for the year. It was a huge responsibility that his partner had placed on his shoulders and Kurt didn’t wand to make the wrong choice. He took a few pictures on his phone to send to Adam so they could discuss their options.

Letting Monica know that he and Adam would think about things and let her know which apartment they’d choose, he and Rachel walked down the stairs and out into the lively neighborhood that surrounded the pretty ivy-covered building. The street was tree-lined and surprisingly quiet despite being the middle of a weekday. Just down the block was an appealing looking coffee shop and several interesting bars and restaurants.

It was the kind of area that he could see them building a life together. He could pick at the negatives, such as having to commute to school and not living close by their friends. But those were minor complaints when he could envision their lives there. Both of them had been flying on their own for too long, learning what the strength of their wings were capable of. Now it was time to build a nest of their own.

“So, what do you think?” Rachel asked as they explored the neighborhood around the building a bit. “You’ve got a lot of nice restaurants around here.”

Kurt took in the lively atmosphere, liking the feel of the area. He appreciated how the building was down a side street and insulated from the worst of the city noise, but a quick walk would get them to all of the amenities. The Clinton Gardens were just a few short blocks away, giving them a bit of green space to enjoy during the nice weather. Walking east would take them right into the heart of the theater district. It was as if this neighborhood were all but designed for their needs.

“I think I like it here,” he pronounced, allowing himself to smile. He spotted a bakery that the real estate agent had recommended and grasped Rachel’s hand. “Come on… I owe you a treat after all your help today. Then we’ll do a test drive to see how long it takes the bus to get me to school.”

They returned to Kurt’s dorm room forty minutes later with a box of assorted cookies to share. “Well, that wasn’t bad,” Rachel decided as she sat down on Kurt’s bed. “It’s a lot easier than coming from Bushwick.”

“Yeah, I think it’ll be okay,” Kurt agreed, sitting down at his desk chair and opening the box. “I hope you know that you’re taking most of these home… Ms. July will decapitate me if she sees me eating these.”

Still, the threat of bodily harm from his dance instructor didn’t stop him from picking out a large cookie studded liberally with chucks of chocolate.

Rachel laughed, picking out a carrot cake cookie for herself. “I’m sure that between Artie and Santana, I won’t have too much trouble finding anyone to take these off my hands,” she said good naturedly. After taking a bite of her snack, she looked to her best friend.

“You look like you’re thinking awfully hard,” she prodded gently, knowing that her friend had a huge decision to make.

“I am,” Kurt admitted. “I just don’t want to make the wrong choice.”

She nodded and nibbled at her cookie. “I don’t think you can really make a bad choice,” she pointed out. “All of the apartments were nice.”

“I was a little torn between the last one we saw and the one in the Village,” Kurt admitted. “But I really like the one in Hell’s Kitchen. Even if it is farther away from school. I think that the quality of life we can have there would be worth the commute.”

She nodded in agreement. “I knew that one was your favorite. From the moment you stepped through the door,” she advised thoughtfully. “So, you’ll take it?”

Kurt considered their options again, mentally weighing out the pros and cons of each place before nodding. “I’ll call Adam and talk it over, but I think that one is it.”

Rachel smiled at her friend. “I’m glad,” she admitted. “And we all can’t wait to throw you two a housewarming party. Don’t forget to tell us when you move in. You’ve got plenty of friends to help move things.”

That was a fact that Kurt was absolutely certain of. Between the group from Lima based out in Bushwick, the Apples and the group he’d found in NYADA, he and Adam wouldn’t be alone to break their backs moving furniture. Promising beer and pizza, they would have plenty of willing helpers.

That evening, he and Adam reviewed their options and made their final choice. Adam would be contacting their agent in the morning and would transfer the deposit to secure their new home. After speaking with his lover for what seemed like hours, Kurt rolled over in bed, clutching a pillow to him.

Only a few more weeks, he told himself.

* * *

The final performance of Butcher’s Bill went off splendidly, with the entire cast giving everything they had for that performance. Standing on stage and accepting the ovation of the audience filled Adam with a tremendous sense of pride. It had been a tremendous challenge, being on the road for so long and then performing to the best of his ability every night but he had succeeded beyond anything he could have hoped to accomplish.

Of course, his time with Butcher’s Bill wasn’t done just yet, with runs in London and New York to look forward to. But he would have time to rest, recalibrate and focus on getting his life in New York sorted out again.

The cast and crew celebrated their accomplishment late into the night. There was much in the way of congratulations and commiserations, not to mention numerous celebratory toasts. Adam awoke in his shared hotel room with Niall snoring nosily in the next bed and his own head feeling like it wasn’t quite attached to his neck.

Packing his bags for the final time felt odd in a manner that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He was, of course, delighted to be going home and could not wait to see Kurt. But after zipping up his suitcase, he felt a little lost as bereft. The pressure of his job was over for the time being, and he wasn’t quite sure what awaited him. He’d managed to find something of a routine that had kept him sane over the past few months and now would have to develop a new one going forward.

There would certainly be enough for him to do, he considered. Reconnecting with Kurt was first and foremost on his list, and there was their new flat to set up. He had his internship with the Garrison festival that would keep him busy over the summer, as well as allow him more time to spend with Kurt while they worked. He’d find a small job to keep the bills paid and himself busy until rehearsals started for their London run.

But for now… it was the malaise that came with the end of a production. The down that came after the incredible high of performing before an appreciative audience every night and doing what he’d spent his life training to do. Having the production end, even for just a few months, took a lot of the steam right out of him. It was a vastly different from his past experience with school productions and festivals. This felt much larger… more intense.

It was something that he would have to become accustomed to, Adam told himself as he checked about the hotel room to make sure that he hadn’t forgotten anything. His life would be a cycle of shows beginning and ending. Of hard work and downtime when he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. But for his first true foray into the world of being a professional actor, he was well satisfied with what he and his castmates had accomplished.

Niall pulled him into a tight embrace as they left the last cast luncheon where they’d celebrated having survived the experience. Adam found himself clinging back to the man who’d become such a close friend over the past few months.

“Now don’t forget,” Niall warned with a grin. “Cynth and I are claiming first rights for a couple’s night out once you’re settled in your place. No trying to wriggle out of that.”

Adam couldn’t help from laughing. “I won’t,” he assured his friend. “Kurt will have my guts for garters if I tried to bail on you.”

The other Englishman gave Adam another squeeze, as if reluctant to let him go. “Take care of yourself, you silly tosser. Safe travels,” he urged.

“You too, mate,” Adam returned, blinking away the tears that he swore weren’t there just a second ago. “Give Cynthia a hug for me.”

Adam was grateful to have made such a good friend on this tour, and that the whole case got along so well. It would have made for a miserable experience to live that closely with a group that he didn’t get along with for an extended period. Not that he expected that he would always bond so closely with castmates, and Adam had worked with actors that he didn’t like on a personal level, but the pressures of a tour magnified the dynamics of any cast. He was indeed fortunate to have his first experience be such a positive one.

The flight back to New York was uneventful, but as the miles of American landscape passed beneath him, Adam felt his excitement begin to swell. He watched out the plane window as mountains and grasslands passed by, speeding past cities and long stretches of road that etched their way through the landscapes. He would never cease to be amazed at just how big this country was, or how varied it was. He was wise enough to recognize what a treat he’d had, getting a chance to see more of the country than most people who’d lived their wholes lives there had.

He felt himself smiling as the pilot announced their approach to Newark Airport, knowing that it would only be a little bit longer before he was home. Or at least, in the hotel room that he’d reserved until their lease was signed and he could get into their new flat. When the jets wheels finally touched onto solid ground, he knew that he’d finally made it.

It seemed to take forever for his bags to appear on the carousal, but he soon enough had them in hand and was walking to the arrivals area. It would be just a short train ride into Manhattan, and hopefully into Kurt’s waiting arms.

After stepping through the last set of doors that let him out into the greeting area, he looked for the sign that would direct him to the train when he heard a familiar voice call out, “Adam!”

Adam looked at the crowd gathered to greet the arriving passengers and sat him standing at the front, waving to get his attention. What the hell..?

He hurried over and dropped the handle for his suitcase, catching up Kurt in a tight hug and not caring who was around to see them. Adam’s senses were suddenly flooded with all the familiar characteristics that he knew so well from Kurt and had missed so much these past months. The feel of his body, the scent of his skin and the cologne that he favored, the slight hitch in his breathing that sometimes happened when he was overcome with emotion.

Home wasn’t New York or their little flat. Home was Kurt.

He was finally home, and he never wanted to leave again.

* * *

Kurt's solos: "Night and Day" and "Let's Fall In Love" - Cole Porter

#kadam #kurt hummel #adam crawford #rachel berry #carmen tibideaux #june dolloway #original characters #cannon? what fucking cannon?#not blaine or klaine friendly

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letterboxd · 4 years

Photo

Locked In.

The director of new documentary Spaceship Earth on snark, queer cinema, the survival of our species, and the ten films he’d take into a biosphere.

In 1991, eight people entered a vivarium to conduct a two-year experiment on whether humans could become fully self-sufficient inside a closed system on this—or any other—planet. Calling themselves the Synergists, the small collective, led by a charismatic chap named John Allen, had backgrounds in theater, art, science and business, and they became media superstars for a short period of time.

With much of the world sheltering in place in cramped apartments, many of us can only dream of being locked-down inside a human-scale terrarium complete with lush gardens, creative friends and a cook as inventive as Biospherian Sally Silverstone. Biosphere 2, which still stands on a ranch in Arizona, looks really inviting right now.

But there are complexities, tensions and controversies in an experiment like this, as documentarian Matt Wolf explores in his new film Spaceship Earth, which blends fantastic archive footage and present-day interviews to bring those two years to light.

Biospherians (left to right): Bernd Zabel, Taber MacMullen (top) Mark Van Thillo, Jane Poynter, Linda Leigh, Roy Walford (middle), Abigail Alling and Sally Silverstone (bottom) posing inside Biosphere 2 in 1990. / Photo courtesy of NEON

Wolf talks with Letterboxd’s editor-in-chief Gemma Gracewood about the lessons we can learn from the Biospherians amidst the Covid-19 pandemic, the ten films he’d take into a biosphere with him, and the dangers of ignoring young people.

How (and where) are you during this pandemic? Matt Wolf: I’m doing well. I’m in my living room in the Lower East Side of New York, where I am every day, and I’m doing okay because I'm throwing myself into this film release. It’s been a real relief to have something to do instead of just reading the news and being trapped at home. The timing is uncanny, but I’m seizing the moment. I’m very happy to be participating and doing lots of virtual events and promoting the film so that people will watch it, because I hope that it will give some perspective for what we’re going through.

That’s the next obvious question: how did your work on Spaceship Earth prepare you for this extraordinary moment, and what advice do you have for those of us sheltering in our own tiny biospheres? It’s funny. My producer Stacey Reiss says the Biospherians were in their world for two years; we were in our filmmaking bubble for two years, too. And so, we could relate in that way but we never thought we would relate so vividly to that experience. And I think, you know, talking to the Biospherians, something that they relayed was that it really was a transformative experience, because they were responsible for creating their own atmosphere, for producing the food they needed to eat, and they really couldn’t take anything for granted—even a breath of fresh air. So when they came out they felt a renewed connection to the larger world, and a different sense of responsibility and consequence for their actions.

I hope that in some ways we all feel transformed by this experience, and it allows us to engage with the world in a different way, because we’re going to have to think and act differently now that we really understand in a visual sense how fragile the world really is.

The exterior of Biosphere 2. / Photo courtesy of NEON

Yes, it feels like the Earth is breathing. It’s such an interesting time. Yeah. I think we need to make a connection between climate change and what’s happening now. If we don’t change how we behave, the threat of long-term catastrophe is inevitable. Not to take this to a dark place, but it’s true.

From a filmmaking perspective, we’re living in a time where, with social media and smartphones, we are creating our own content every second of every day. One thing that’s endlessly fascinating about archive-based films like yours, is how lucky we are to have had people—who were not necessarily filmmakers themselves—document these extraordinary experiences. What was it like when you first started diving into that footage? I’m actually always on the lookout for stories that have a strong basis in archival material that can help activate them and bring them into the present. I was certainly determined to tell this story; it was extraordinary and I knew there was a great deal of media coverage. But when I went to meet the Synergists at their ranch, I was brought into this temperature-controlled room that had hundreds of 16mm film canisters, analog video cassettes, thousands of images; it was astonishing that they had had the foresight to not only document what they were doing but also to preserve it in such a meticulous way.

To me it was an indication that they recognized that what they were doing was history, but also kind of poignant because nobody had taken an interest in that archive and tapped into it, so it felt like an incredible opportunity, but also a responsibility as well. It would have been a much less potent film had we not had that material as well as the video diaries that Biospherian Roy Walford shot inside.

For me, it is unprecedented to be able to tell a story—particularly a story with so many narrative twists and turns—that has archival footage that covers literally every beat of the story. I don’t expect that to happen often in my filmmaking career! This was an extraordinary situation.

Biospherian Linda Leigh and tourists. / Photo courtesy of NEON

Okay Matt, you’re heading into the Biosphere, with no internet, and you can only take ten films with you. What are the films that you’d pack to take? To help you choose, we’ll give you some guidelines. What’s the movie you’ve watched the most? I would say the movie I’ve watched the most, ever, is Todd Haynes’ movie Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story. It was a movie made with Barbie dolls about Karen Carpenter’s life. I have just watched that movie over and over and over again, and it’s a bootleg movie because the Carpenter estate suppressed it. It’s one of those things made of lore, in which people exchanged low-quality file transfers, and I got my hands on a high-quality restoration recently. I love showing it to people who haven’t seen it, and it’s a total joy to watch that movie. That is the movie that I would definitely need to have access to if I could never see anything again.

Can you name a favorite documentary; one that has meaning for you? Every once in a while I watch this documentary that really is in some ways my favorite. To me it’s like taking a bath to watch this film, a bath for my brain. It’s called A Skin Too Few: The Days of Nick Drake. I’ve only been able to find it on YouTube; it’s not in distribution. I’m a fan, but the film is just made in such a delicate and visually precise way. It represents the type of filmmaking that I really love. It’s seemingly straightforward as a documentary, but I think in its subtlety it is really just a soothing and absorbing film.

What’s the film you’d take to entertain your fellow Biospherians on a Friday night? One of my favorites from when i was a kid that I think would be fun to watch on a Friday night is Troop Beverly Hills. If you want just like cotton candy, that would be my version of that.

Shelley Long and her Wilderness Girls in ‘Troop Beverly Hills’ (1989).

A film for the inevitable long, lonely, insomniac nights? If I was feeling depressed and lonely, and like really leaning into those feelings of isolation, maybe like Fassbinder’s Ali: Fear Eats the Soul. I remember that as being a film that was at once devastating but also comforting. Just about human connection and human alienation. I just think it’s so deep and true.

What about a film that you like to impress people with because of the way it looks, or makes you feel? One of my favorite movies that I just love to show to people because it’s so amazing—well, there’s two that fit into that category, movies that are fun to show people because they are unbelievable and true. One is Hail the New Puritan by the artist Charlie Atlas. It’s a documentary about Michael Clark, a kind of punk ballet dancer from London in the 80s, who collaborated with Leigh Bowery and The Fall. Charlie, the filmmaker, made it in the model of A Hard Day’s Night, the Beatles vehicle, and it follows this gay punk ballet dancer on his nightlife and pseudo-celebrity adventures through 80s punk London.

And then my other film that is too good to be true is A Bigger Splash [the 1973 Jack Hazen documentary, not the 2015 Luca Guadagnino feature], which is a similarly constructed documentary about David Hockney that feels like a fiction film staged with all the characters from his orbit during the height of his popularity in swinging London. It’s such a great depiction of an artist’s life and it’s completely baffling how the filmmaker was able to generate such access and to construct a film that feels so dramatized.

What film has had the biggest impact on you, whether for its meaning or for its execution? One of the films that had a big effect on me and that I really think the communal experience is central to, is Derek Jarman’s film Blue. He made it when he was dying of AIDS and it’s a lush soundscape with a kind of like non-linear stream of thoughts coming from Derek Jarman, and a beautiful soundscape, with material from Brian Eno. It’s a feature-length film where the screen is just blue. Every time that film screens in the cinema, I take the opportunity to go because it’s almost a religious experience. A cinematic religious experience. I feel really moved by it but it also is something to share with other people, in an unusual way.

And a film that’s stuck with you since you were young? American Family—the documentary series that gave birth to reality TV. In the 1970s Alan and Susan Raymond made this epic PBS cinema-vérité series that followed this upper-middle-class San Diego, Californian family. In one episode, their son Lance Loud moves to New York and is living at the Chelsea Hotel and his mum comes to visit and he comes out of the closet. It is a unique, different world, many of the Andy Warhol superstars are there. It [felt like] the first time a gay person had appeared on television and the drama unfolds over many episodes.

It was this huge controversy, people thought they were disgusting and perverse for putting their lives on television like this, but it also is kind of mundane and boring, just like a lot of the early cinema vérité, but it really laid the groundwork for what would become reality television, except it’s not constructed for the camera in the way that we expect these shows to be. I like watching serialized family stories like that, and this is the foundation of it.

What’s a recent queer film you’d take in with you? There’s this movie I was obsessed with. I just thought of it the other day: Saint Laurent, by Bertrand Bonello. It came out a few years ago and it’s a completely narcotic, kaleidoscopic biopic, and I think it’s so rare that biopics actually inhabit the psyches of their famous protagonist and that the actors don’t just feel like they’re doing pantomime. This film really captures not only the disintegrating psychology of Yves Saint Laurent, but also the context of the gay subcultures of Paris in 1970s and the 80s. It’s this super-vivid depiction of subculture, but through a very narcotic lens. I just was obsessed with that film. It’s not really considered ‘queer film’, I think it’s more considered a biopic, but to me it’s one of the more interesting depictions of queer culture in recent years.

Gaspard Ulliel as Yves Saint Laurent in Bertrand Bonello’s ‘Saint Laurent’ (2014).

And finally, a fond, family-viewing memory? I always loved Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s one of my favorite films but every time I see it, it’s like, “Oh, I get why I was obsessed with that as a kid”. I love the visual world and Gene Wilder is so bizarre and a little creepy. If you look at it as an adult there’s something kind of perverse about it, but I love a kind of analog fantasy world! So that film is, you might say, delicious.

You could say Spaceship Earth is a kind of analog fantasy world—the Biosphere itself is a living fantasy. I’m interested to know what you’d say to younger film lovers of today about what they might get out of seeing these avant-garde theater-makers-turned-Biospherians of yesterday? This film is more targeted towards younger people. I feel like there is a certain cynicism amongst adults that completely discounts young people and their ability to reimagine the world in creative ways. This is something I really dealt with in my film Teenage, the history of the invention of teenagers: adults always try to control young people. They corral the inventiveness of young people and the languages that they speak and invent. Young people all fight back, trying to define the world on their own terms, and this is really a film about a group of people who came together in their 20s and decided to reimagine and redefine, literally, a new world. There are all sorts of forces of establishment that tried to stop them and question and discount them.

We live in a world that’s pretty cynical and brings a lot of skepticism to people who try to do things differently, and I think as a 20-year-old you might see yourself in the idealism of these unusual people. Don’t you think that’s true? That, like, 20-year-olds aren’t as snarky and cynical? I feel like 20-year-olds are earnest and sincere and idealistic. Maybe I’m out of touch, but that was my experience and part of what I’ve observed in other young people.

I just feel like that ‘snarkiness’ that is often represented in the media is the cynicism that comes with the bitterness of life experience. And when you’re young and don’t have hardships and disappointments that have maybe hardened you with a certain kind of cynicism, it is possible to think more expansively and more optimistically about the world. We really need to tap into that energy. It’s not really helpful at this moment to, I don’t know, to shoot down anyone who’s trying something new. I hadn’t thought about that, but I'd be really curious what young people think of the film.

That’s a useful perspective, and makes me think of how, over the last couple of years, we have seen so much grassroots activism from young people, and now with the global lockdown there’s been a quieting of the youth climate movement, at least out there on the streets. You’re totally right. It was this big loud wave of activity and now with the pandemic it has really been washed over. But what they're talking about is long-term consequences, and if we don’t address the underlying issues that have related to the collapse of our society as a result of uncontrollable environmental factors, the survival of our species is threatened.

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‘Spaceship Earth’ is available for virtual screenings and on streaming services now. Our thanks to NEON.

#matt wolf #spaceship earth #biosphere ii #biospherians #john allen #documentary #queer film #queer filmmaker #letterboxd #NEON #virtual screening

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helplessly-nonstop · 5 years

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A Thief of Hearts(And Jewels) (S.Rollins smut)

Well, my discord chat and I was up to some of our usual antics and somehow we ended up on the idea of the Shield as criminals. So I took the idea and ran with it. So here we are! This is a jewel thief/FBI AU!

Warnings: use of handcuffs, smut, lil bit of angst, sprinkle of fluff, sort of humorous sex..., taking a shower together, mentions of not pulling out, I think that’s it

WC: 3889 words

I’m a robbery agent for the Cincinnati field office for the FBI and one team of criminals that I haven't been able to catch is the Ruby Robbers. It was the team of Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns and no matter how close I got to catching those handsome bastards, they managed to slip from my grasp every fucking time.

I huffed and slammed my hands on my desk, growling in annoyance. Seth Rollins, my partner, glanced up and raised an eyebrow, questioning, “You okay there, beautiful?” I let out a soft cry then whined,”I don’t get it. How the hell are they so far ahead of me? As soon as I get to the robbery, it’s like someone already tipped them off.”

“They’re criminals, Y/L/N. What do you expect?” I huffed, annoyed at his rationality, then I muttered, “I dunno. Maybe I was hoping for an easier criminal team to catch? Couldn’t they be a little less.. I don’t know, smart? I mean, who’s actually heard of a smart jewel thief? Most of them just gets caught on their first heist. These guys have hit almost every museum from Boston, all the way over to San Diego, down to New Orleans, but they always seem to come back here. Why? They’ve robbed one bank for a ruby. I just don’t get it.”

“Maybe you should think more like a criminal, get inside their heads.” I stared at Rollins for a moment then he raised an eyebrow at me, asking, “What? You don’t like my idea?” I blinked slowly at him then answered slowly, “Actually… I think you’re onto something, Seth. But the question is how do I think like a criminal?”

“Study the crimes scenes. Analyze how they made off with the rubies and how they got away. Break down the banks and museums then put yourself in their places, get inside their heads.”he suggested, passing me an entire stack of maps. I stared at all of the papers then replied,”Well, it was your idea, so you’re helping me think like a criminal.”

“What? Me? Why me? Why couldn’t you pick Becky? She’s more likely to be a criminal!” Seth protested then the Irish woman appeared, slapping her friend on the back of the head.

“Dat’s whatcha get fer dat!”she informed him before disappearing from sight once again. Seth and I exchanged confused glances then shrugged, settling down on the floor as we analyzed the crime scene photos, all of the museum and bank floor plans.

Hours had passed then I squinted down at the first heist that they completed. It was just a small bank here in Cinci and I couldn’t help but wonder why they chose this particular bank to rob. The ruby that they had stolen wasn’t very expensive so I couldn’t help but wonder what their motive was.

“Alright kid, spill it. You’ve been staring at that one bank for the last thirty minutes. What’s got you so focused on it?” I bit my lip then flickered in between two of the crime scene photos that I had been stuck on and replied,”I’m… I’m not sure, really. These two pictures, they’ve got me stumped. It’s like something is inside screaming at me to find it, but I can’t manage to think of what it was.’’

He took them from my hands and held them up to the light, the two of us studying the scenario in the different view then I snapped my fingers, snatching the left one from my partner’s hand. He glanced over my shoulder as I explained,”The ruby never left the bank! That’s why the surveillance cameras were cut! Reigns and Ambrose doesn’t give a damn if people know what they look like! They thrive on taunting people knowing that they’ve gotten away with their crimes! That’s Ambrose right there, putting the ruby in that vent.”

Rollins squinted down at the picture and he rubbed his thumb against where I pointed at then he murmured,”Well I’ll be a son of a bitch. How’d we not noticed that sooner?” I quickly stood then exclaimed,”I don’t know, but at this moment, I really don’t give two shits! I’ve gotta go check out this bank, right now!”

“What, like right now?! You do realize what time it is, right? It’s like one in the morning, you lunatic!” Seth protested, standing up as well. I snatched the picture from his hand then slid my jacket as I answered,”Yeah, I know! But I have a copy key to the door and I need to go see if the ruby is still there.” He sighed, shaking his head as he put on his own coat then he muttered,”Alright, if you say so.”

We exited the office and realized that it was pouring down rain but at this point, I couldn’t care less. I had finally gotten a break in this stupid case. We rushed to the car, Seth thankfully popping the umbrella that he always carries with him, then off to the bank we went, determined to get our big break. I slammed the car into park and we entered the bank as I unlocked the front door, the alarms thankfully disarming when I did so.

I hurried over to where Ambrose was caught on camera sliding the ruby into the vent then I turned on my phone light, scanning the somewhat large vent. Not but three feet into the vents, I spotted the shiny, blood colored jewel and I slipped on a pair of latex gloves to prevent tainting evidence.

“Seth, I found it!” I shouted, turning to face my partner, only for a frying pan to smack me in the face.

The pain was the first thing to greet me when I came to. My head throbbed with the after effects of being (essentially) kissed really fucking hard with a pan. I groaned then realized that I had a second problem to compliment my first one: I was tied up and duct tape had been slapped across my mouth. I let out a whine then realized that people were talking outside of where I was being held.

“Did you really have to hit her that hard though? She would’ve went with us much easier if you would’ve just pointed a gun in her face and ordered her to drop the ruby and walk.” I recognized that voice. It was impossible not to know that voice, considered I had been partners with that person for the last four years. My head snapped up and I glowered at the door across from me, knowing that the three men was about to enter the room.

“Oh look, she’s awake!” Dean Ambrose chirped, sliding into the room like the smooth criminal he was. Roman Reigns gave a sly smile and replied, “Well, that tosses our wake up plan.” And finally, Seth fucking Rollins ended their little train of jewel thieves. The three sat down beside me then I began screeching through my gag, kicking my feet the best that I could in this position.

“Damn, she’s a feisty one. How’d you manage to deal with her all these years, Seth?” Reigns asked, allowing his chin to rest lazily on his fist, propped up by his knee. Rollins grinned at his criminal buddies and replied,”We were well paired. Weren’t we, sweetheart?” My eyes narrowed and in my mind, I imagined hurting him very badly, but then remembered that even though I was pissed, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to hurt him.

“Now. If you promise to act somewhat civilized, I’ll take off the duct tape. But if you misbehave even once, I’m putting in a ball gag and you won’t get a safe word. Do you understand me?” Ambrose threatened, leaning forward. I gave a small nod, annoyed with the duct tape, and he yanked it off, a small help escaping me as I got a free wax from the glue on the tape.

“W-Why? Why are you working with them? You worked so hard to help me catch them.” I murmured, eyes lowering to avoid his gaze.

He sighed and cupped my cheek as he answered,”I’ve known Dean and Ro since I was a kid. When I found out that they had became jewel thieves, I realized that my true allegiance with them had never died out. So I contacted them and told them that I would help them escape capture.”

“Granted when you were gifted the case, it made it a little more difficult because I wanted to stay loyal to you, but I couldn’t turn my back on Roman and Dean again. I left them when I went to college and the academy. So I decided to play both sides of the fence.” I stared at him for a solid three minutes (or mores I’m not sure) then shrieked,”I can’t fucking believe you! You backstabbing little hoe bag! I trusted you!”

Rollins leaned backwards and looked over at Roman as he stated,”I told you she was gonna be pissed.”

“Man, I knew she was going to be pissed. And with good reason too.”the longer haired man replied, giving a shrug. My entire body trembled with the force of my anger, frustration, and defeat then I hung my head, letting out a soft sob.

“I never meant to hurt you, I promise.” Seth murmured, cupping my cheek to brush away my tears away.

“I-I trusted you. You played me.” I whimpered. He sighed and pressed his lips to my forehead, saying softly, “I didn’t want to. I just needed to earn their trust back. You have to know that, sweetheart.” Dean glanced up towards the door and stated, ”Hate to break up this little love fest but uh, we need to get going.” Seth glanced up at his friend’s words then pulled me into his arms bridal style and we exited the bank, hopping into a car with Roman in the driver’s seat and Dean in the passenger.

Seth buckled me in then asked,”If I cut you free, do you promise to be good for me?” His unintentional innuendo made me blush then I ducked my head and muttered,”Yeah. It’s not like I can do anything. You took my gun.”

“And the knife you keep in your shoe.”he informed me, cutting my legs and arms free, only for him to snap one of the cuffs around my wrist and the other to his own.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I shouted, tugging against him. He gave a grin then answered,”I know how your mind works, beautiful. I’m not giving you any chances of escaping. So sit back and enjoy the ride.” I groaned and smacked my head against the head rest for the seat, glaring out my window as Dean began humming CCR’s Bad Moon Rising. Seth twisted his hand upwards and I glanced down briefly at it, ignoring the allure it had. I wanted to hold his hand like I used to during car rides but he betrayed me. I couldn’t exactly ignore that… could I?

I turned back to the window then I felt his fingertips skim my own and he leaned closer, murmuring, ”You might as well get comfy, sweetheart. This is going to be a long ride.” I huffed and side eyed him before returning to my glaring out the window.

We passed through Ohio into Indiana very briefly, and when I woke up, I realized that we had drove all the way through Kentucky, Tennessee, and Alabama before finally realizing our destination: Florida. I rubbed at my eyes then glanced up to see that Seth was leaning against me, his eyes closed and I sighed at how relaxed he was.

Half of my mind wanted to hate him, to punish him for all of the bullshit that he had put me through during this case. But another part of me, the idiotic side, was desperate to forgive him. I stared down at our entangled fingers then snapped my gaze up to Dean as he said,”He really does care for you. A lot more than he likes to admit. And it crushes him every day to lie to you.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that he still lied to me.” I muttered, leaning against Seth’s chest. Roman sighed and said,”Yes, you do have a point. But put yourself in his position. He just wanted to keep his best friends and his lover to himself. Is that so wrong?”

My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I stuttered,”I-I am not his lover.” I watched Dean and Roman share a unconvinced glance then I snapped,”I have never slept with Rollins, even if the thought has crossed my mind.” The two shared a laugh then Seth murmured,”Well, good to know that the feeling is mutual.” I jerked away from him, only for him to yank back on his cuff, dragging me back in.

“What, you’re allowed to cuddle with me for the majority of the ride down here but the moment that I lay my head on yours, you freak out and admit that you want to sleep with me?”he asked, his nose brushing mine. I stared at him for a while, unsure of what to say then he turned away, glancing towards our driver as he asked,”So, where we at?”

“Just crosses the Alabama/Florida border. We just switched drivers so I’m ready to finish this trip.” Roman answered, his dark eyes glued to the road ahead of us. Seth nodded but didn’t replying. We settled into a silence then we pulled into a large house, three cars in the driveway. I guess being jewel thieves paid off nicely. We entered the house and Dean set his duffel bag down, ordering,”Take your shoes off, this is white carpet and if you stain it, you will clean it. Got it? Good. Rollins, she’s your lover, you share a room with her.”

Roman and Dean, now holding hands, disappeared into a bedroom, locking the door behind them as I shouted,”We’re not lovers!” I glanced up at Seth who stared down at me then tugged me up the stairs without a word.

“Look, can we just maybe unlock these cuffs so I can get a shower, please? You made me sit in the car for over eleven hours and I really want to shower.” Seth tossed his own bag onto the bed then turned to look at me before he replied, ”Maybe. Would you rather eat first?” My stomach grumbled in response and I rolled my eyes at my body’s betrayal then we walked back downstairs to find something to eat.

He opened the freezer and pulled out mozzarella sticks, stating,”It’s my cheat weekend, so you’ll have to sue me.” I nodded in understanding and he started the deep fryer then we settled across from one another, waiting for the oil to heat up. We stared at each other then a small chime alerted us that the oil had reached its boiling point. Standing up, we dropped the sticks into the fryer, waiting for them to begin flooding.

Once we finished eating, we walked back upstairs and laid down on the bed, beginning to watch Castle Rock, the new Stephen King show on Hulu. We ended up finishing the entire first season and by the time we finished it, it was one in the morning. I glanced down at the cuffs and murmured,”Now can I get a shower? Please? It’s not like your bathroom has windows and even if you did, I’m not one for jumping out three story buildings.”

Seth’s lips twitched to the side and he looked down at the chain connecting us then uncuffed my wrist, leading me into the bathroom. He held up the key and set it down on the dresser beside the restroom door before warning,”You even think about running, I won’t hesitate to tackle your ass and handcuff you to the bed frame. Do you understand me?” I nodded in agreement then he pushed me into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I stared into my reflection then pulled off my shirt, unhooking my bra, and let out a scream as the door opened, Seth stepping into the room.

“What the hell are you doing? I thought you were going to trust me to be alone long enough to take a shower?” I snapped, covering my breasts with my shirt. My partner tilted his head to the side, as if considering his words, then he stated,”Mm, I changed my mind. Consider the deal null and void.”

“What?!” I shouted as he snapped the handcuff back around my wrist. I stared down at the chain and I realized that he didn’t have a shirt on then it dawned on me.

“Are you going to take a shower with me?” He looked at me with a blank expression then said simply,”Y/N, I’ve seen you naked. You’ll be fine.” I have an anxious glance to the shower and he rolled his eyes, asking,”What, you want me to lose my pants first? Fine.” Using his free hand, he unbuttoned and slid his zipper down, pushing it down as far as he could manage then wiggles out of the material the rest of the way. And to no surprise, he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

I dipped my head downwards to avoid his gaze - and his dick- then he started the water, waiting for me to strip. He glanced at me expectantly then he said,”Sweetheart, you lose the pants, or I’ll help you out of them.” With my entire face up in flames, I pushed my jeans to my knees and kicked them away, stepping into the shower.

In silence we traded places back and forth underneath the steady stream of hot water then when I couldn’t get all of the conditioner out of my hair, Seth reached up and worked the soap out, kissing the crown of my head before he murmured, “C'mon, let’s go to bed, sweetheart.”

Whether it was the kindness of that he gave and my previous crush on him, I held his hand as he helped wrap me into a towel then I returned the favor, staring up at him as he watched me, his tongue flicking out to trace his lips. I watched with intrigue when he did so and we walked into the bedroom, Seth grabbing the key to release our hands long enough to get dressed. He walked into the closet then tossed a shirt at me, along with a pair of boxers, stating,”Go ahead and get dressed.”

As soon as I was dressed, he exited the closet and clasped the cuffs down once again, the two of us laying down with my back to his bare chest. His free arm snaked underneath my head then he wrapped our connected arms around my waist.

“Seth.” I murmured as he pressed against me halfway through the night. He groaned, nestling his face in the crook of my neck as he groaned,”Shh, sweetheart. Jus’ go back to sleep, kay?”

“Can’t, you’re distracting me.” I admitted, eyes glued to where his fingers were half slipped into the boxers that I wore. He turned, taking a deep breath in, then kissed the skin of my neck, murmuring,”Is that so? Can’t think with my fingers so close to your pussy, sweetheart?” I stuttered at his statement then he uncuffed us, turning me over.

“Seth…” I drawled out, cupping his cheek. He pulled me closer then murmured,”Lovely, if we do this, there won’t be any turning back. We’ll make this official. Do you got me?” I nodded then pulled him closer before he met me the rest of the way, kissing me. I gasped into his mouth, fingers tangling into his hair before I asked,”Are you going to give me back to the Bureau?” He hummed into my mouth and replied,”Not sure yet. That all depends.”

“On?” I murmured, tangling my legs with his then he pressed his thigh upwards, the material of the boxers brushing against my clit. I gasped at the pressure then grinded downwards as he moved away then I whined, Seth kissing me again.

“On whether you’re willing to transfer down south with me.”

“As long as you fuck me and make me come, I’ll literally do anything you ask.” I gasped out as he tugged my clothes off, doing the same to himself. He flipped me onto my back and began kissing my neck, sucking hickeys into place as he purred, ”Anything?” He was the Devil, he was so perfect in my eyes, so trustworthy.

“Yes anything, you moron, now make me come dammit!” I cried out, kicking my legs out in frustration. Seth laughed at my annoyance then spread my legs, kissing from my knees up to my inner thighs then blew softly on my folds as he slid closer. I trembled under the anticipation running through my veins then murmured,”Seth please.”

His dark eyes softened at my plea then he crawled up to me, pressing kisses to my hips, much stomach, breasts, and neck before he asked, “What, you don’t want me to eat you out?”

“I-I don’t know. Maybe?” He kissed me again, soothing my nerves, and he assured me,”It’s okay, I’ll do it in the morning, sweetheart. Just lean back and hang on for the ride.” I nodded in agreement then Seth pulled my legs around his hips, wrapping a hand around the base of his cock, leading it to my slit. He coated his member with my slick then glanced up at me, asking,”You okay with this? You don’t wanna turn back?”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I growled out, guiding him inside. He groaned and finally rocked up into me, moans escaping the two of us. I tangled my hand through his hair then pulled him closer as we kissed, my thighs squeezing on his hips.

“Goddamn, sweetheart, you’re so right. Fuck me.” I raised my head and asked,”Isn’t that what I’m doing right now?” He gave a breathless laugh and changed his speed from slow and sensual to slamming up into me, asking,”Is this better?”

“So much.” I moaned in response then he slid my thighs further apart, maybe to grant him better access or to prevent bruising but I really didn’t give a shit as he slammed into my G-spot as his thumb brushed my clit, a cry of delight filling the room.

“Yeah that’s right, sweetheart, you’re just about to come on this dick, aren’t you? I know you are and that’s why I’m going to keep rubbing your pretty little clit til you can’t breathe and then I’m going to fuck my come into you.”

“You better pull out or I’ll kill you.” I snapped, flicking his nipple to catch his attention.

“Sorry, got lost in the moment. Don’t worry, I’m gonna pull out.” We shared a small laugh then I arched onto him as he pushed me into my orgasm spiraling.

“Seth!” I screamed, as he continued fucking me in search of his own orgasm then I tightened around his cock, causing him to curse and pull out as he began to come over my breasts and stomach. He rolled off the bed and walked into the bathroom for a washcloth then wiped me down, handing me back my shirt.

“Seth?” I asked quietly, cuddling into him as he wrapped an arm around my waist. He hummed and glanced down at me as I questioned,”Did you mean that? That you want me to move down here?”

“Hell yeah I want you to move down here, sweetheart. I really do love you and I think you’d like Florida.”

#seth rollins smut #heartbreaker ninja #my fics #seth rollins imagines #seth rollins angst #seth rollins fluff #wwe angst #wwe writing #wwe stuff #wwe lemons #wwe fluff #wwe imagines #wwe smut #dean ambrose #roman reigns #ambreigns #seth rollins lemons #seth rollins stuff #seth rollins writing

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imagitory · 5 years

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D-Views: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Bonjour, mes amies! Welcome, bienvenue, to another installment of D-Views, my written review series for films produced or inspired by the Walt Disney company! For more reviews for films like Enchanted, Star Wars Episode III, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, feel free to consult my “Disney reviews” tag, and please, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging! I look forward to writing more of these in the future for films like Wreck-It Ralph and Halloweentown, as well as Non-Disney films like Charlotte’s Web.

I recently put out a poll suggesting three Disney Renaissance films for possible review subjects, and although The Little Mermaid won that poll, this film ended up not far behind. (Thank you, @schifty-al and @mygeekcorner for your votes!) It’s one of my personal favorite Disney films of all time...The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

Victor Hugo’s classic novel Notre Dame du Paris, called The Hunchback of Notre Dame in English, seems like a very odd inspiration for a Disney animated family film, and that’s because...yeah, it is! When the Disney animators first brought Hunchback to the table, they were less inspired by the original Hugo novel glamorizing the architecture of Notre Dame cathedral, and more inspired by a graphic novel adaptation of the story, which was likewise much more influenced by the 1939 Hollywood film adaptation. Because of the historical context that 1939 adaptation was made in (premiering at Cannes during the rise of the Third Reich), themes of social justice were added to a story that originally was about how the “edifice” can outlast the flaws and sins of mankind. The “social justice” element is something that Hugo interestingly put more in his follow-up to Notre Dame du Paris, the epic brick book Les Miserables, but has since been similarly tied in the public consciousness to The Hunchback of Notre Dame, despite not existing in the original book.

The project was already an odd choice for Disney to take on thanks to the darkness of the book, but the political themes also were unique for a Disney picture as well. It clearly was a more “adult” endeavor, even though thanks to the success of previous projects like Aladdin and The Lion King, there were studio mandates demanding more comic relief, and even the marketing team was reluctant to advertise Hunchback as anything other than a family film. Rather than showing the artistry and darker scenes, the marketing almost entirely focused on the Feast of Fools and the gargoyles, highlighting the “Ugly Duckling” aspect added to the story and downplaying the more adult themes. In the end, it’s likely thanks to those poor marketing choices and the inconsistent tone of the picture that this movie failed to find its audience on first run. It only earned $21 million worldwide, compared to Pocahontas’s $29 million and The Little Mermaid’s $84 million, with mixed critical and audience reaction. Although it was nominated for an Academy Award for its music and won several others, it was noticeably less successful than other installments in the Disney Renaissance, and even now, Disney often doesn’t give Hunchback that much attention. Like Quasimodo, the film has been sort of locked up in its own tower...but now, today, I aim to bring The Hunchback of Notre Dame out of the shadows and give it the appreciation it deserves.

Our film begins in complete darkness, accompanied by resounding church bells and the amazing vocalizations of the English Opera Company, and from the very beginning, I’m just enveloped by the embrace of Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz’s unbelievable score. Choral music in general has always been something special in my family. My mum and dad were in choirs a lot of their lives: they even first met when they joined the San Diego Master Chorale in the 80′s. Choral music remains one of my mother’s greatest loves and passions, and when I saw Hunchback, it made the choral music my parents loved so much, which focused around a faith I hadn’t been raised with and didn’t believe in, that bit more accessible to me as a child. Mum, who studied Latin in college, went on to teach me about all of the chants and phrases Menken and Schwartz added to each song so that I could more appropriately sing along. It remains one of those Disney soundtracks that cemented our close bond, and I’ll always treasure being able to see the La Jolla Playhouse production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame with my mum and getting to hear the amazing choir and instruments live.

The Bells of Notre Dame, as an opening number, cannot be matched in how it introduces us all to the story, characters, themes, and tone of the piece. In just a few minutes, the music and lyrics perfectly showcases our setting, the theme of what makes a man, the atmosphere of fear and injustice, our villain, and our hero. Menken and Schwartz previously worked together on Pocahontas, but Hunchback in my opinion easily outstrips their previous collaboration. The use of church bells of all sizes to convey the solemnity, mystery, and grandeur of the cathedral at the center of the proceedings, and the clever use of Latin phrases -- it’s just unbelievable! As one example, in the sequence where Frollo (a judge in this version, as opposed to the Archdeacon) chases Quasimodo’s mother up to the stairs of Notre Dame and she pounds on the door, crying for help, the choir sings “Quantus tremor est futurus quando Judex est venturus,” which means, “What trembling is to be when the Judge comes.” And sure enough, the line comes to a horrible, horrified halt when Judge Frollo snatches the woman’s child away and throws her to the ground.

After one of the most epic musical introductions in a Disney film, we meet our sweet, gentle hero, Quasimodo, voiced by Tom Hulce, who is just such a ray of sunshine. Although I loved hearing Michael Arden as Quasimodo on stage, Tom Hulce will always be my Quasimodo. When I was a teenager, I went through a horrible “hating the world” phase where I only ever saw pain and suffering and felt not only powerless to make anything better, but worthless as well. During that time, I turned my back on a lot of the things that had brought me joy, feeling almost unable to enjoy them anymore. One of the very few exceptions, however, was this movie and especially the character of Quasimodo. When I was at my darkest points, Quasimodo never failed to bring me some light, not because he was particularly funny, but because for all of the misery in his circumstances, he never faltered in being gentle, creative, and kind. Looking back on how I’d been, I wish I’d had just a shred of Quasimodo’s grace back then. I wish I hadn’t allowed myself to fall into despair and resentment. Since I can’t go back, however, I keep Quasimodo in my mind sometimes whenever I’m going through something difficult. He’s kind of become a guardian angel of sorts to me, reminding me that my life is a precious gift and I shouldn’t take anything for granted. And really, I couldn’t do that if not for Tom Hulce and Quasimodo’s supervising animator, James Baxter. I truly am grateful to both of them for giving me a character that even now can be a symbol of everything I wish I could be.

Unfortunately along with Quasimodo, we also meet the gargoyles, Hugo, Victor, and Laverne. As a kid, I actually liked the gargoyles all right, but as an adult...yeah, they really break the mood. Badly. The worst offender is easily Hugo, which is a shame because I like Jason Alexander as a performer, but he just goes way too over-the-top-obnoxious. It would admittedly not be as bad if it were clear that the gargoyles were all in Quasimodo’s head, but Djali sees Hugo come to life at one point and they later help Quasimodo fight off the guards. I greatly prefer the way the gargoyles are handled in the stage production, where all of the saintly statues have their own voices that nonetheless reflect what Quasimodo is thinking and when Quasimodo hits his lowest point before Esmeralda’s execution, he forcefully banishes them out of his head.

Even though the comic relief is handled poorly, I certainly cannot say the same for the villain. Judge Claude Frollo is easily one of the most evil villains in Disney history. Tony Jay’s vocal performance is just chillingly resonant, commanding your attention and making you subconsciously shrink in on yourself whenever he speaks. It makes for a despicable, cold, cruel man -- the antithesis of a father, the true embodiment of a monster. Frollo is often compared to Mother Gothel from Tangled in how they both lie to, control, and emotionally abuse their charges (Quasimodo and Rapunzel, respectively), but I personally find Frollo so much worse than Gothel, because he not only cuts Quasimodo off from everyone, but he indoctrinates a gentle, kind soul like Quasimodo in his racism and intolerance against those different from him -- including Quasimodo’s own people, the Romani. Mother Gothel hoards Rapunzel away like a dragon hoarding treasure -- Frollo treats Quasimodo like a burden, beating into him that no one else would want him and that Frollo was such a “good man” to take him in. It’s just vile.

And now we come to my single favorite Disney song of all time -- Quasimodo’s aria, Out There. From the time I was little, this song spoke to me like few others did. Growing up, I was an only child with a huge imagination surrounded almost entirely by adults and who had a lot of difficulty relating to kids my age. I often liked being on my own, but it didn’t change how I often felt different and detached from the people around me, and as I got older, that feeling only increased. I moved a lot in my childhood, making it difficult for me to plant roots, and I rarely followed trends or popular norms, so I constantly stayed in the fringes of the crowd, enviously looking on at those who could fit in more easily than I could. I always tried to hide my insecurities, but they were still there, and when those insecurities took hold, I would often imagine the world being a place where I could be myself, just like Quasi does. Quasimodo’s longing to be “part of them” and lamentation of people being “heedless of the gift it is to be them” has always resonated with me, and even though it’s hard for me to sing Out There without shifting octaves, my heart swells every time I hear it.

The Captain of the Guard, Phoebus, is easily the biggest liberty that Hunchback adaptations have made with the original novel. The book version of Phoebus was more like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast than how he’s portrayed here, but I frankly have no complaints. Kevin Kline is wonderfully dry and witty in the role -- he’s more than a match for Esmeralda, being brave, noble, and sarcastic with seemingly no prejudice for those different from him. And then yeah, as for Esmeralda herself...as Phoebus says later, “what a woman!” Esmeralda was one of my very favorite Disney heroines as a kid, and she still is. The character of Esmeralda is often rather saint-like in her incarnations, but here we see both the “angelic” and “demonic” sides of her -- she’s fiery, but kind; rebellious, yet noble; anti-authority, but patient; distrustful, yet loyal. In the musical adaptation, when Esmeralda is first revealed, we hear Frollo, Phoebus, and Quasimodo sing this about her --

Frollo: She dances like the Devil!

Phoebus: She dances like an angel --

Quasimodo: An angel!

Phoebus: -- but with such fire!

Frollo: Such fire!

All Three: Who is she?

This is Esmeralda’s characterization and her relationship to the three male main characters in a nutshell. Quasimodo only sees the best of Esmeralda; Frollo only sees the worst of her; and Phoebus sees her for everything she is...as a person. And this is why she ultimately chooses Phoebus, unlike in the book where she solely chooses Phoebus because of his looks.

When we reach the Palace of Justice, I’m reminded that I have yet to accent how absolutely stunning every single background is in this movie. Yes, the animation overall is wonderful, whether in the character animation or otherwise, but there are few Disney films that have more atmospheric and beautiful backgrounds than this. It serves to give the movie such a wonderful depth and makes the setting feel that much richer and deeper. Admittedly one weaker aspect of the animation is the now-slightly-outdated CG background characters. They were made by taking a handful of templates and then mixing up their clothes and colors, so as to multiply them ad infinitum and make the crowds of Paris look bigger and more colorful. Even with that, though, you do sort of have to look carefully at the background crowds to notice, as there are lots of hand-drawn characters sprinkled in in front of those CG models that help obscure their repetition and awkwardness. Those CG crowds also make the city of Paris look appropriately overcrowded and huge, so I’m glad that they used the technology even if it was still so in-progress at the time.

Even though Topsy Turvy starts off so fun and festive, however, it soon devolves into a terrible riot where Quasimodo is bound and tormented by the crowd. I admit, the transition is a little abrupt, but it still works for me, as people can be so easily swept away by mob mentality and those in power -- namely, Frollo’s guards -- sometimes flaunt their authority by putting down others. Fortunately Esmeralda is there to save Quasimodo and give Frollo a much-deserved verbal smackdown. The following scene, though, is another example of the mismatched tone, stretching out Esmeralda’s escape with a lot of comic “hijinks” that don’t really add anything to the film and kind of serve as a big time waster, especially after it abruptly cuts off and turns much more solemn and sad as Frollo silently confronts Quasimodo and Quasi returns to Notre Dame in shame.

Hunchback’s focus on religion is, in my opinion, one of the things that made producing an adaptation of Hugo’s novel such a bold decision. I’m not a religious person at all (Agnostic and proud), but it was still really meaningful to me to see both the good and bad associated with religion, represented by the Archdeacon and Frollo respectively. Frollo, along with Pharaoh Seti from The Prince of Egypt, taught me as a kid that evil is not always self-aware and, more importantly, how much more dangerous evil is when it garbs itself in godliness and righteousness. That’s a valuable lesson, regardless of your religious faith. God Help the Outcasts may invoke God’s name, but it could just as easily be a prayer to the world, or even just to you as an individual. The Christian faith preaches that we are made in God’s image...so when Esmeralda asks God to help her people, maybe she’s in truth asking you to try to be the loving God they need.

Something unique about Hunchback is the wonderful friendship that develops between Esmeralda and Quasimodo. From the time I was very little, I made friends with both boys and girls, so it was so wonderfully refreshing to see a story where a girl and a boy became such close friends and supported each other so much. Yes, admittedly, Quasimodo is romantically interested in Esmeralda, but when he sees how much she loves Phoebus, he both accepts their relationship and treasures Esmeralda’s friendship all the same. He doesn’t wallow in bitterness upon Esmeralda not choosing him; he loves her all the same as the first real friend he’s ever had. Esmeralda truly loves Quasimodo and treasures their friendship too -- her choosing Phoebus romantically is never framed as her teasing Quasimodo or leading him on; she simply loves Phoebus and Quasimodo in different ways. And that I find so unbelievably cool. I also like that in Esmeralda’s and Quasimodo’s conversation on the roof, there are some strains of the deleted song Someday in the instrumental accompanying the scene -- you can hear a R&B variation of Someday in the film’s credits, but originally it was meant to replace the more religious God Help the Outcasts, only for God Help the Outcasts to be chosen over it. I agree with the filmmakers’ decision, but I still like Someday too. Quasimodo’s helping Esmeralda and Djali escape Notre Dame by climbing down the towers also beautifully foreshadows Quasimodo’s dexterity in climbing down to save Esmeralda at the end of the film.

Quasimodo and Frollo are both enthralled with Esmeralda, but as mentioned previously, they each only see the angelic and demonic sides of her, which is best encapsulated by the dual numbers Heaven’s Light and Hellfire. Heaven’s Light is appropriately sweet and pure, but I can’t beat around the bush here: Hellfire steals the show, not just from Heaven’s Light but from all other villain songs in Disney history. The song starts with a choral chant praying for forgiveness, which then segways into Frollo’s demented, mad raving about his lust, fear, and hatred for Esmeralda. The words are almost terrifying in their level of conviction and paranoia, which then devolves into vindictive, destructive mania, framed by the mournful echoes for “mercy” from the choir.

Right after Hellfire, we get one of my favorite instrumentals on the soundtrack called Paris Burning. The choir’s bustling, dramatic cries trimmed by the tense strings and horns of the orchestra just evokes fear and horror as Frollo terrorizes Paris. Then Phoebus finally takes a stand, refusing to set fire to the miller’s house and then, after Frollo does it himself, leaping in to save the family from the flames. In the musical, this whole sequence is accompanied by the amazing musical number Esmeralda (which honestly, every fan of this movie should listen to, it’s really worth it), but the film handles it unbelievably well with only a short scene and an instrumental that sears the final “Kyrie Eleison” into the audience’s ears like a fire brand.

Sadly, after this amazing, epic sequence, we once again are subjected to tonal whiplash when we return to the bell tower and the gargoyles decide to sing Quasimodo a song to cheer him up. Although I maintain Hunchback has one of the best soundtracks ever recorded, what stops it from being flawless is this song. A Guy Like You is not an inherently bad song on its own, but when combined with the rest of the soundtrack, its melody, tone, and out-of-place pop cultural references are just ridiculously jarring. It’s like we’ve been transported into a completely different movie, one less inspired by a classic French novel and a critically acclaimed film about social justice and one more inspired by Disney hits of the day like Aladdin and later projects like Hercules. As sad as it is, it’s kind of a relief when it’s over and we’re brought back down to earth by Esmeralda carrying a close-to-death Phoebus into Quasimodo’s tower.

Frollo’s arrival after Quasimodo agrees to hide Phoebus is excellent in its suspense. We can sense Frollo’s suspicion, and all the while, we’re so worried for Phoebus hiding under the very table he and Quasimodo are sitting at. Then Frollo, who we’ve only ever seen as cold, conniving, and controlled, bursts into a rage the kind of which we’ve never seen before, and for a second, he’s a demon himself. After his rage is spent, he sets his cruelest, most terrible trap yet: using Quasimodo’s feelings for Esmeralda so that he can capture her and the rest of the Romani. And at first, Quasimodo almost doesn’t take the bait, thanks to a short-lived pang of self-pity. At first he’s bitter about his heart being broken and considers not helping Esmeralda, as there’d seemingly be no “reward” in him doing so...but the feeling is quelled in seconds by the memory of Esmeralda and how much her friendship means to him. Quasimodo’s selflessness and goodness wins out in its struggle with his more selfish instincts...and this, in the end, is what makes Quasimodo a hero in my eyes.

All right, I guess with our entrance into the Court of Miracles, I should address the elephant in the room. I’ve called Esmeralda’s people “the Romani” in this review, but throughout the entire film, the term is substituted for the admittedly-period-appropriate slur “Gypsy.” I knew nothing about the Romani culture when I first saw this film and I profess no intimate knowledge of it now, but even with that, I have to acknowledge that this movie doesn’t always showcase the Romani in the best light. Although Quasimodo’s parents, Esmeralda, and (to a degree) Clopin are given relative sympathy, the sequence in the Court of Miracles doesn’t do much to endear them to the audience. These victims of persecution are not really given the focus they deserve: we never learn much about their culture or about why they’re persecuted, and we don’t really get to see how they live their lives as ordinary people. To someone who doesn’t know anything about the Romani, I don’t think this film would be the best introduction to their culture and heritage.

Our climax is accompanied by the best instrumental track in the film, Sanctuary! Whenever I hear this piece, I have to stay completely silent, drinking in every single line and note, so as to properly absorb its brilliance. The track has accompanied a lot of my writing in the past: it’s always helped me when I was writing a powerful, emotional climax, whether through the emotion it wrought from me or just from wanting to write a new scene to the music. This entire sequence, from a musical, writing, animation, and character point of view, is I think what made Disney decide to make this film in the first place. The pacing -- the character animation of Quasimodo tearing down the pillars -- the drawn backgrounds of Notre Dame -- the camera whirling over the never-ending crowd’s heads and up onto the cathedral as Quasimodo hoists Esmeralda over his head -- this is the heart of why the movie was made and what the entire film was building up to. This resistance against injustice and the protection of our sacred, historical institutions from hatred and cruelty is what Hunchback is and should be all about. Occasionally this battle scene is inter-spliced with comic bits that once again aren’t really necessary and kind of stick out (Laverne’s Wizard of Oz reference and Hugo’s impression of a fighter plane in particular are out of place), but it doesn’t ruin anything for me. Fortunately as the climax grows darker with the arrival of Frollo and the transition from Sanctuary! into And He Shall Smite the Wicked, the gargoyles take a backseat, and we get focus where we should’ve always had it: on Quasimodo, Esmeralda, and Frollo. Thanks to his love for his friend Esmeralda and the realization of his own self-worth, Quasimodo finally stands up to Frollo and breaks free of his poisonous influence once and for all. This line of Quasi’s has always stuck with me --

“All my life you’ve taught me the world is a dark, cruel place...but now I see the only thing dark and cruel about it is people like you!”

Even now this line is just so powerful. There was a point where all I saw of the world was its cruelties and injustices...but like Quasimodo, I’ve come to see that those cruelties are not inherent to the world or even to mankind as a whole. Humans are capable of both great evil and great good, but as long as the evil people of the world are allowed to seize control and exert their toxic influence over everyone else, the world and mankind overall will never become better. Like Quasimodo, we must stand against those who’ve embraced cruelty and hatred over acceptance and love. We must protect the brighter parts of the world that evil so wishes to snuff out. It’s a moral I think has only become more relevant and important over time.

Unlike in the book and musical, Esmeralda survives, and as much as I’ve heard people try to argue Esmeralda living is not true to the spirit of the original novel, I think it really suits the story being told and really feels just for both characters. Quasimodo deserved happiness; Esmeralda deserved happiness; and most importantly, this all the more highlights how different Quasimodo is from Frollo. Frollo says to Esmeralda, “Choose me or the fire” -- basically, if he can’t have her, he doesn’t want anyone else to...but Quasimodo doesn’t think that way. He cherishes Esmeralda and her friendship without any caveats or conditions: therefore him losing Esmeralda, whether to Phoebus or to death, doesn’t prompt him to commit suicide like he did in the novel. It’s not only a more uplifting ending, but I think a lesson in the selflessness of love, even if it’s just platonic love. And because Esmeralda loves Quasimodo just as much as a friend, she leads him out into the sun, where he finds even more of the love he deserves from the city he wished so much to belong in. Quasimodo doesn’t get the girl, but that was never what he wanted in the first place: it was merely to be accepted as he was.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame was one of the most formative films of my childhood, right up there with Beauty and the Beast, The Prince of Egypt, and Anastasia, and it remains my second favorite Disney animated film of all time. With time, I’ve seen more and more of its flaws, but those flaws don’t ruin what in the end is one of the most daring, revolutionary projects Disney Animation has ever tackled. Its artistry, from the backgrounds to the character animation, is exceptional; all of its major human characters are multi-faceted, complex, and real; its themes are eternally relevant and powerful; and its score and nearly all of its songs are just through the stratosphere in their quality. Hunchback, along with Beauty and the Beast, made me fall in love with France from afar as a child, a love affair that has only become more and more intense through the years, and Quasimodo and Esmeralda even now are so close to my heart. I wish so much to be as kind and gentle as Quasimodo and as brave and noble as Esmeralda, and I can only hope that at some point, if I ever visit Disneyland Paris, I might finally meet them. The Hunchback of Notre Dame may not have gotten the appreciation it deserved when it first came to theaters, but I’ll always be happy to hear Disney fans remembering it as fondly as I do. Who knows? Maybe someday, the world will be wiser and will give this film its time in the sun at long last.

#d-views #disney reviews #the hunchback of notre dame #disney #opinion #analysis #reviews #oh boy here i go

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marmolady · 5 years

Text

Livita

-revised with major edits... enjoy!-

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Estela x MC/Taylor (f)

Summary: Post-ending. Freed from Vaanu, Taylor has been building a life with her soulmate... but their family remains not quite complete.

Warnings: Coarse language.

Word Count: 4292

Reviews and reblogs are hugely appreciated!

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @sceptilemasterr @bbaba-yagaa@edgydepressedchoicesthot @endlesssummerfan@blightarts@princessstellaris @acidsugar0 @taramitch96 @sapphovonchat@strangerofbraidwood@noeschoices@queerchoicesblog@kennaxval@queerchoicesblog@mrsmontoya @saivilo @ezramitchells

August 2022

Taylor’s heart sank as she looked at the result. Negative. Again.

Estela sighed and looked away. Again, no baby. Even knowing she could have done nothing more, it felt horribly like she’d let Taylor down when it really mattered. Everything she’d ever wanted… her deepest desire… it was so close, only for them to be repeatedly smacked down by some invisible barrier.

“We’ll try again,” said Taylor quietly, trying to sound like someone who hadn’t just been crushed. “This is gonna happen for us, okay?”

Despairing, Estela threw her head back, trying and failing to calm her emotions. For several long minutes she wrestled with herself before turning back to her wife. Her voice shook when she spoke. “Maybe… maybe we should try with you… it’s not as if I’m not made up of a load of shit that we shouldn’t really want to pass on to an innocent child.”

“First of all; no. You are freaking perfect, and nothing you could give a baby could be anything but that. And I know how much you want this. I want it to be you. I want us to keep trying.”

Walking away, Estela could feel guilt clawing at her stomach. Of course she wanted to be the one to carry the baby, but if things kept up like this, there wouldn’t be a baby to carry. She sighed again, heavier, and curled up on the couch, knees against her chest. “Taylor, it’s been over a year…”

“We can see another doctor if it puts your mind at ease? But I trust what they said; everything’s working fine, it’s just not necessarily gonna happen overnight.” Taylor sat down beside her wife and began massaging her back, feeling tension in every muscle. “I know we wanted to do this at home, but we could consider intra-uterine. How about we give it one more month, and then start looking at other options?”

For a long while, Estela said nothing, staring into space as she tried to process the aching disappointment. When she zoned back into reality, Taylor was still there, kneading her back. Another month… that was reasonable.

Taylor eased down the back of Estela’s shirt and pressed kisses between her shoulders. “I know how much you’re hurting right now… I’m feeling it too. Someday soon, we’ll hardly remember this; we’ll be too busy wading through diapers and trying to get a wink of sleep. But for now, I think it’s a comfort food under a blanket situation. We’ll just snuggle up in a love cocoon until whenever it is that we’re ready to put on brave faces.”

They cuddled beneath a blanket on the couch, grateful to have nothing pressing to do nor any people to see. That they’d have a baby together had always been a given, at least once it became certain that Taylor could remain with her loved ones on earth. They’d found their peace, and each had their home was in the arms of the other. The next step was the baby. Estela would carry the child; passing on a little piece of the mother who’d been so cruelly taken from her. Of course, it meant that the other grandparent would carry on through the bloodline as well… but having wrestled with it, Estela concluded that honouring Olivia Montoya was more important to her than eliminating Rourke. It was deemed the safer option; whatever Taylor was, she was not entirely human, and her reproductive capabilities and genetic contribution would be rather more of a gamble. If it came to it, they could try that path- certainly Taylor liked the idea of being related to another person by blood- but the simple truth was that Estela’s urge for that physical bond was far stronger. Diego, the nearest thing Taylor had to family, would be the donor, and someday, a doting tio. All the rationale, the planning… all of it mattered little if it just didn’t happen for them. In the end, how it happened wasn’t important… they just needed their family.

The disappointment was not getting any easier, month after month, even as it became expected. They now knew better than to get their hopes up too high. Once again, Taylor would go back to Diego to ask for his help… another round of ‘I’m sorry’s and hugs of consolation. Estela would be quiet for a few days, but their optimism would return as it always did. Together they’d literally undone an apocalypse; so long as they had one another’s hands to hold, they’d soldier through anything.

Estela gently caressed Taylor’s lips with her own, tasting the salt of tears. For her she’d be strong; it was what she’d always done. It was impossible to be broken for long whilst held in Taylor’s heart and embrace. “Next time…” she said softly.

Taylor nodded and returned the kiss. God, I love you…

“…Next time…”

_____________________________________

September 2022

Pausing her frenzied scribbling of notes, Taylor pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. From her position cross-legged on the couch, she heard the creak of the front door.

“You’re home late,” she said, still poring over her notes. “Reggie holding you hostage again?”

Estela draped her arms over Taylor’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, something like that.”

Taylor couldn’t help but laugh. “I think a part of you is kinda flattered that you can’t give the kid to someone else without him dissolving into banshee screams…”

“He knows his tia.” Pausing for a moment, Estela waged a silent debate in her head before making up her mind for sure. “Taylor, I want to take the test…”

She looked up. Spending so much time with their nephew had only heightened Estela’s want for a baby. They both adored Reginald, but his presence served to highlight exactly what they were missing. “I know. But if you wait a couple more days, it’ll be more accurate. This whole thing is tough enough without worrying about false negatives.”

Estela sat down opposite Taylor, reaching out for her hands. “I’ve just got a feeling, you know? I feel different.” She took her wife’s hand, and tucked it into her bra. “That’s swollen, right?”

“Possibly? But it’s early, my love. I don’t want you getting carried away with something that might not exist.” Of course, it was easy to see signs when it was wanted so much. Between hanging around Reggie all day, and an upcoming journey back to San Trobida in a few days, the yearning was running wild. It was only natural that Estela wanted to greet her tio with the news that she was expecting, but Taylor feared another disappointment. She stroked Estela’s breast, while her other hand lovingly cupped her face. “You know that even if you are pregnant, it probably won’t show up yet?”

“I know that. I’ll do it again in a few days… I just don’t think I can rest without trying.”

“Okay… but don’t get your hopes up. Do you want me with you?”

Estela shook her head. “It’s all right. Like you said, it’s probably too early to work. I’m just trying to settle the voice in my head.” As she moved to leave, Taylor hugged her tight.

“Love you…”

“Love you.”

Taylor looked back to her notes. Their return to San Trobida would be momentous for her; starting up a much-needed youth counselling service in the area surrounding Estela’s home. It was what she’d studied for, and it was with nervous excitement that she jotted down ideas and sketched out plans. With the grants and scholarships that the company had to offer -provided by what Rourke had left behind- there was the feeling that they might be able to make a real difference in giving the children of the civil war hope for the future. The central inspiration to their work was, of course, Estela’s mother. Each award given out to a student was gifted in her name; it provided a small comfort that Dr. Olivia Montoya’s legacy was one of a promise for a better tomorrow. Taylor found herself distracted. They had fulfillment in one another, in the work they were doing… but the picture remained incomplete. The quiet having lingered for too long, Taylor got to her feet, putting her notes aside.

“Estela? Is everything all right?”

No response. Becoming worried, Taylor started towards the bathroom, expecting that she’d need to break out the emergency cheering-up ice cream, as had been a monthly occurrence since they’d started trying for a baby. She knew she’d been right. It had been foolish to cause such distress when another test would need to be taken a few days later anyway.

She tentatively pushed the door. “’Stel? I’m here…”

Estela was sat trembling on the tiled floor, her eyes wide and wet with tears, seemingly unable to look away from the test stick she held in her hand. Several others lay at her feet.

“…Taylor… I’m…” In her daze, she couldn’t even get the words out.

Tears sprung to Taylor’s eyes and her hand to her mouth. Surely… surely it couldn’t be what she thought it was? But then, that smile… that smile… it said it all.

“Wh-what are you… what are you saying?”

“We’re… we’re having a baby…”

Without knowing how she got there, Taylor was on the floor, Estela’s arms around her as they cried, and laughed, and kissed.

We’re having a baby.

____________________________________

June 2023

Nine months flew by, life refusing to slow down. Much of that time was spent in San Trobida, where Taylor was faced with a rush to establish her youth programmes during the brief window in which she’d be available with her full attention. Once the baby arrived, everything else would take a back seat, and her role would be as a part-time mentor to students. Estela had slowly dialled back her role in her and Aleister’s company -with both of them on parental duties, delegation had become increasingly necessary. She kept up with the few bits and pieces that interested her, primarily assistance and scholarships for San Trobidan students, which allowed her to work nicely in tandem with Taylor, but anything else could be someone else’s problem. The pair returned to La Huerta with a couple of months spare to get ready for their new addition, and come the fourth Catalyst reunion –the very first day- it was time.

Her waters having broken in the middle of the anniversary party, Estela had quickly been swooped upon by an attentive Michelle, who’d determined it was high time they took the proceedings back to their own home where there was a little more comfort and privacy. Taylor lovingly tended to her wife, cleaning her off and helping her into the back of the car that would ferry them along the track between The Celestial and the hut in Catalyst Village.

“Taylor,” Estela took her wife’s shaking hand in her own. “You don’t have to be so nervous. It’s not like you’re the one who’s gonna be doing all the work.”

“Hey, this is likely to be the most important day of both of our lives. I’m allowed to have a few jitters, okay?”

Taylor caught Estela’s eye and grinned like an idiot. This is actually, finally happening. The smile faltered just a little as she felt Estela’s body stiffen beside her; another contraction. That there was only so much she could do was difficult; all their battles were fought together, as equal partners, and to essentially be a bystander was a role Taylor wasn’t sure she suited. As she helped Estela up to their bed, she was left with the distinct impression that she was being humoured; the fussing really wasn’t necessary, but the care behind the gesture appreciated.

Estela approached childbirth in much the same manner that she did most of life’s challenges; just getting on with it. She was no stranger to pain, and refused to be daunted, breathing through contractions with minimal grumbling. Taylor sat upon the bed beside her, offering massages and holding her hand through the worst of the contractions, all the while enjoying a rare opportunity to catch up properly with Michelle, who’d offered herself as midwife.

Every now and then, a text message would come through from someone or another, asking for a progress report, and in return receiving an update on the annual anniversary party. Naturally, bets were being made all over the place… the sex of the baby… the time of arrival… whether or not it came out brandishing a weapon…. The attention from the rest of the Catalysts was welcome, breaking up the monotony otherwise punctuated by Estela quietly huffing through contractions.

The sky outside darkened, and it seemed quite clear that the night would be a long one. With progress slow, Taylor killed some time by rustling up some snacks from the kitchen. When she came back upstairs, she couldn’t help but let her eye linger upon the small room, the one that would soon belong to their child. All of a sudden, that their lives were about to change became very real. She’d never had a childhood herself, so to have the blessing of experiencing it through her own son or daughter was a great unknown. Taylor was certain she was ready. The one her friends would turn to with all their problems, she would be an open and supportive parent. And in Estela… well, she couldn’t ask for a more fiercely loving partner. It would be scary, but as Taylor saw it, all the best adventures were.

The hours dragged by so slowly. Taylor found herself fidgety, and took to slowly pacing beside the bed. She still felt like a spare part, and nervous energy built up within her as she picked up the same from Estela. They were now hours in, and there was a sense that they were turning towards the last, dangerous stretch… and still Taylor could do little to ease the process.

Estela’s staunch stoicism began to falter. A trembling bottom lip betrayed her fear as she hit a wall, scared for the first time since her labour began. The contractions kept coming, with barely a pause. Wave after wave, stronger, as if her body was trying to tear itself apart, and no chance to come up for air. It felt as though she had no control over her own body… and by extension, the baby. She was a passenger along for the ride, powerless. After so many hours, countless nightmare scenarios had time to run through her head, now haunting her, and doubt in herself set in with a vengeance. As soon as she let that primal fear take hold, a wave of grief hit her, so strong that she might drown.

Worried, Michelle rubbed her arm. “What’s going on? Estela?”

There was no response. Estela looked away; her expression distant as she retreated into herself. She wanted to cry, to scream, but it would not bring what she needed.

“It’s getting more intense because we’re getting near the time when you need to push. This is normal. Talk to us, okay?”

Still nothing.

Taylor leaned over the bed, reaching for Estela, unnerved by the change, so swift and profound. Something was really not right. She took her wife’s shaking hand and squeezed, and the pressure returned was fierce, panicked. Still, she struggled to get eye contact; Estela appeared lost, far away. “…Hey…” When she finally met Estela’s eyes, she saw a plea for help. The penny dropped.

“Hey, could you give us a moment?” she asked in Michelle’s ear, her voice hushed.

Once they were left alone, Taylor climbed onto the bed and brought Estela’s head to her chest, stroking her sweat-drenched hair. “You want your mom…”

The painful lump in Estela’s throat gave way. She leaned into Taylor, who cradled her as she cried and writhed in agony.

“I’m so sorry, my love, my beautiful Estela… I’m sorry she can’t be here, holding your hand like she should be…”

The floodgates had opened, and Estela sobbed into her wife’s shirt, her hands clutching desperately at her back, hanging on as if afraid of losing her too.

“That’s it… let it out…” Taylor kissed her soaked brow and held her close, rocking Estela gently as her body convulsed through a contraction that just seemed to go on forever. “I’ve got you. You just hold on tight, okay? I’ve got you, and I’m never… I’m never letting go.”

“Taylor… it hurts.”

“I know… I know…” More kisses, the only inadequate comfort she could offer. It just wasn’t fair. “She’s part of you always, sweetheart… nothing can ever take that from you. And our little baby… she’s part of our baby too. All that love your mom gave you, you get to pass it on, share it with bub.” Taylor sighed, feeling the weight of her helplessness as her wife gripped her ever tighter, gasping in pain. She couldn’t help with the baby, and she sure as hell give Estela what she really needed. Her voice caught in her throat. “I know it can never be enough.”

Slowly… agonisingly slowly, the intensity receded, the contractions slowed, and Estela could finally catch her breath, her vice-grip on Taylor’s back slackening. It felt as though the worst was over. She felt a tender kiss to the side of her face, and returned it, even as she trembled in Taylor’s arms.

“Sorry,” she panted, offering a weak smile. “I didn’t expect it to creep up on me like that. I just… started to get nervous about the baby coming, and… God, it hurt so bad… and the more scared I got… it was almost like I was a kid again, needing her so much.”

“That’s natural, Stel.”

“And I guess I can feel that it’s close now. It doesn’t… it doesn’t feel right for the baby to come… and her not be here. I’m sorry, I just…”

“Hey…don’t apologise.” Taylor took Estela’s face in her hands, stroking away tears with the gentlest touch. “This is where your strength comes from; your big heart… even the part that’s always going to be broken. It’s why you’re gonna be the most wonderful, incredible mama to our little baby. Your mom would be so proud of you, Estela. God, I know I am.”

Estela nuzzled against Taylor’s fingers, taking one to her mouth in a soft kiss. She looked at her through her tears, feeding off the devotion that shone back in those brilliant blue eyes. Her mother would be so happy that she had Taylor, in her corner through it all. In a way… it was she who’d brought them together.

She exhaled shakily. “I can’t wait for you to hold our baby…”

Taylor pressed her forehead to Estela’s, her heart full to bursting. “You are so, so strong, love. You’ve got this.” And I’ve got you.

Estela closed her eyes, soothed by the intimate touch. “Taylor… thank you.” A kiss to her cheek told her that Taylor understood. That they were in this together really went without saying. She took a deep breath. Time to do this. “We should bring Michelle back in; I think I’m ready to start pushing.”

There was a small flurry of activity as Michelle hurriedly resumed doctor duties, and confirmed that things were indeed moving along. Getting comfortable was all but impossible, but Estela eventually settled kneeling up against Taylor, letting gravity help her out.

Another shuddering groan rang out as Estela dug deep to push against the all-consuming pain. Progress felt excruciatingly slow. Her powerful body strained with every ounce of strength, willing the baby onwards, while she held on desperately to Taylor’s hand.

“You’re doing great… you might just break my fingers, but you’re doing great.”

At long last -to the expectant mothers it might have been an eternity- the baby’s head appeared, and Taylor reluctantly eased away from her wife, to be helped into position for delivery by Michelle. Her heart pounded wildly at the first glimpse. There it was. Their baby. Their baby…

Michelle leaned in close, nervous exhilaration clear on her face. “Are you ready? I’ll be right here with you to check baby over.” Receiving a confident nod, she returned her attention to the person who was doing all the hard work. “Estela, you’re so, so close.”

“…I fucking hope so…”

“On the next contraction, I want you to pant through it… gentle pushes so the head doesn’t come too fast. I think… I think that should do it.”

Estela whimpered and looked to Taylor for reassurance. This had gone on long enough… she needed to know that the baby was all right. Gentle, murmured words of encouragement and a soft rub against her leg helped to steady her, and she steeled herself for the next wave. This was it now; she was bringing her baby home.

A strong cry rang out as the baby entered the world, straight into Taylor’s waiting hands, instantly bringing her to tears. Tiny arms reached out in bewilderment and the baby hollered in shock at the sudden transition. Murmuring gentle words of comfort, Taylor brought the child up to her face, softly kissing as the indignant cries quietened.

“Is the baby okay- Taylor, is baby okay?”

Taylor bundled the wet, disoriented infant close to her, while Michelle checked it over, and responded with a voice thick with elated tears. “Stel, she’s perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, and she’s already got a lot to say for herself.”

Tears streamed down Estela’s face as her hands flew to her mouth in sweet disbelief. Their baby was here… she was here and she was safe. Her voice trembled when she spoke, the briefest glimpses of the child enough to send her into emotional overwhelm. “She? She’s a girl?”

“She’s a beautiful girl.”

Receiving an encouraging nod from Michelle, Taylor brought the baby, now wrapped in a towel, and gently eased her into Estela’s waiting arms.

Estela’s breath caught in her throat. When she met her daughter’s eyes, she thought she might never look away. “Oh my god…” She wept, clutching the child to her bare chest, and her heart skipped a beat as a tiny mouth latched onto her breast. “Mi dulce niña, mi bebé, mi bebé…”

She reluctantly tore her gaze away from her precious baby to look up at Taylor, whose eyes were swimming, face shining with love. “Taylor…”

Sniffing helplessly, Taylor leaned in and kissed the top of her wife’s head again and again. “Oh god, I love you, Estela… I love her… I… I…”

Michelle looked on, a hand over her heart and her eyes misty. “Congratulations, both of you. She’s just… absolutely, completely gorgeous. And… and thank you.” The slight shake of her voice gave away her emotions. “That you wanted me to share this with you… it honestly means the world.”

Taylor stood up and wrapped her friend in the tightest, most loving of hugs. “Thank you. So, so much. I don’t know what we did to deserve you, but we love you so much, Michelle.”

Wiping tears from her eyes, Estela have a little nod, looking at Michelle with fierce gratitude and affection. She couldn’t find the words, but a quiet understanding was all that was needed.

“I love you both. And your little angel…” Michelle felt endless satisfaction as she watched the infant nurse at her friend’s chest. To have played even a small part in making that happen, her heart might just burst with pride.

Taylor pulled her shirt off over her head and wriggled down under the covers, drawn into the heat of Estela’s body. She nuzzled her face towards her chest and took in a deep breath as she pressed a long kiss to the baby’s soft head, taking in the sweetest of scents.

“So… Olivia?” she asked.

Estela’s eyes welled as she nodded her head. She knew Taylor understood, and in that moment, she couldn’t love her more. “Our Livita. Maybe, Olivia… Andromeda? You should be a part of her name.”

“Oh. Oh, wow.” For a few moments, Taylor was lost for words, and she simply looked at her beloved with starry eyes. She took Estela’s hand and kissed it before going back to kiss their daughter again -how she’d ever get enough of smooching that child’s dear little face, she’d never know. “That’s… that’s perfect. She’s perfect.” She stroked Olivia’s dark, downy hair, her skin so impossibly soft. “Oh, my Livi… our angel… we love you all the way to the stars.”

“All the way to the stars, and back again,” Estela corrected with a wink.

Michelle quietly bustled around them, cleaning up and making sure all the boxes were ticked on her baby delivery checklist. Completely ecstatic as she was, she was more than ready to collapse into her pillow.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” she said softly, knowing that her work there was done. Both mothers were handling the baby confidently, and with a tenderness that was heart-warming to behold. Tucked up against Estela’s chest, a hand protectively cradling her tiny body, no child could wish for a safer, more loving embrace in which to rest. “I’ll be back in a minute if you need anything at all, but I’ve got a feeling you can take it from here.”

The first rays of sunlight filtered through the floaty drapes, a welcome dawn after the longest of nights, bringing the colour of day to the new life that settled, fed and contented, against the warmth of her mothers’ beating hearts.

Before she turned to go, Michelle left a kiss each on her friends’ foreheads and stroked under the baby’s tiny chin.

“Olivia Andromeda Montoya, welcome to the world.”

#endless summer #playchoices #playchoices fanfic #estela montoya #estela x mc #michelle nguyen

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thedcdunce · 5 years

Text

Animal Man

“I didn't get my powers back just to get killed.” - Animal Man

Real Name: Bernhard "Buddy" Baker

Aliases:

A-Man

Gender: Male

Height: 6′ 0″

Weight: 185 lbs (84 kg)

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Blonde

Powers:

Conduit of The Red

Weaknesses:

Time Limit

Universe:

Earth-One

New Earth

Citizenship: American

Base of Operations: San Diego

Parents:

Frank Baker, Jr.; father

Phyllis Baker; mother

Marital Status: Married (Ellen Baker; wife)

Occupation:

Actor

Stunt-Man

First Appearance: Strange Adventures #180 (September, 1965)

Last Appearance: Justice League of America Vol 2 #59 (September, 2011)

Powers

Conduit of The Red: Later, Baker learned to draw abilities directly from the "Red", an energy field that connects every animal ever to have lived on Earth. Apparently the Red extends past earth and exists as a universal concept. In 52, Buddy experiences an upgrade that allows him to connect to the Universe's morphogenetic field, providing him unlimited access to all animals in the universe regardless of origin, making him one of the most powerful beings to ever exist. This power also extends to non-animal microogranisms but not to plants, which are part of The Green controlled by Swamp Thing or fungi and molds, which are connected to The Grey.

Animal Mimicry: Buddy can mimic any abilities of any animal as a result of his encounter with a crashed alien spacecraft. He does this by either focusing on a specific animal near him, or, as he learned later, by drawing power from the animal kingdom in general. The nature of these powers has been described in various ways, including the superficial "alien radiation" explanation of his early appearances, the reconstruction of his body by aliens with "morphogenetic grafts" at the cellular level, and currently, mystical access to a "morphogenetic field" created by all living creatures, also known as "the Red". He does not grow wings to fly as a bird, nor does he form gills to breathe underwater when mimicking a fish, but he has occasionally been known to mimic the actual appearances of animals, such as adopting the claws of a wolverine temporarily. His powers have changed considerably in the New 52, after he was killed and reborn by The Red into a body that takes on the aspects of the animals whose powers he is using at the time. This results in him changing into a chimera-like being. Buddy is also able to tap into more than one animal, e.g. during his second fight with B'wana Beast he channeled the regenerative powers of a salamander and the camouflage of a chameleon; this aspect of his power has been shown more frequently in his New 52 series. Among the "animal powers" Buddy has been known to use are:

The strength of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The flight of a bird.

The swimming ability of a fish.

The speed of an ant.

The sonic blast of a pistol shrimp.

The sense of smell of a moth.

The agility of a snake.

The durability of a rhino.

The electricity of an electric eel.

The regeneration ability of a worm.

The wall-crawling of a spider.

The stench of a skunk.

The color changing of a chameleon.

The reproduction abilities of protozoa.

The level of Buddy's abilities are not proportional to the size of the animal they are drawn from. Hence, drawing the jumping ability from a flea would allow him to cover great distances. However, taking the abilities of a larger animal does not result in diminished power for him.

Force Blasts: Tapping into the Red, Animal Man can also fire powerful blasts of force or unidentified energy. He can even use the primordial energies to start a new universe.

Animal Empathy: In addition to his mimic abilities, Animal Man can make contact with animals, empathize with, "talk" to and see their thoughts and memories. This ability to transfer his life essence has allowed him to survive even when his body has been killed.

Animal Control: Animal Man can, to a lesser degree, control animals by entering their minds. He can also transfer his mind to living animals of any kind, using their bodies as long as he wants to.

Weaknesses

Time Limit: Buddy can only absorb the ability of another animal for approximately 30 minutes before having to recharge his connection with that creature.

Origins

In his late teens, Buddy Baker was a happy hell-raising punk rocker. One fall afternoon he went hunting in the Adirondack Mountains and when he returned home, he had changed. Whatever it was, something in the woods had connected him to what is variously referred to as the Red, the Lifeweb, or the Morphogenetic Field - the force that binds together every living animal on Earth. Encountering some escaped animals from a nearby zoo, Buddy discovered that in the presence of an animal, he was able to absorb its special abilities. He was now the Man With Animal Powers.

Animal Man

At the suggestion of his best friend, Roger Denning, Buddy donned an orange-and-blue costume starting a minor career as the super-hero Animal Man. Partly for kicks, partly as a way to promote their rock band, Buddy actually managed to do several heroic deeds, ranging from foiling a few robberies at the local pet store, to battling actual space aliens and odd crooks such as the Mod Gorilla Boss.

After a few years of adventuring, Buddy retired his Animal Man identity, married his high-school girlfriend, Ellen Frazier, and moved to San Diego. Living on the salary from Ellen's work as an illustrator and Buddy's newly-started career as a movie stuntman, the couple mortgaged a house in the suburbs and raised two children, Cliff and Maxine.

Forgotten Heroes

Buddy thought his super-hero days were over, but that was about to change. After stumbling on an ancient golden pyramid, he was contacted by the mysterious Immortal Man. Joining up with other has-been adventurers - including Cave Carson, Dane Dorrance, and Dolphin - who had encountered similar pyramids around the world, Animal Man became part of the organization called the Forgotten Heroes. Under Immortal Man's direction, the group was able to destroy the pyramids, saving the world in the process. For a time, the group stayed together, opposing threats such as Vandal Savage and the Forgotten Villains. During the world-shattering event known as the Crisis, Immortal Man sacrificed his life, and soon after, the Forgotten Heroes disbanded.

Buddy returned to his family life, although the thought of superheroics was still nagging in his head. He wanted to make a difference, but had to support his family as well. Convinced that there was still a place for Animal Man in this world, Buddy resumed his full-time superhero career, battling villains such as the new Mirror Master and a delirious B'wana Beast. He also assisted in foiling the invasion of Earth by the Alien Alliance. Still not satisfied, Buddy made the decision to become a protector of animal life on Earth. He sabotaged foxhunting in England, dolphin slaughter on the Faroe Islands, and animal experiments all over the USA. He worked with Vixen to overthrow the government of M'Changa, and with the Freedom Beast to oppose the apartheid powers of South Africa. About this time, he learned from a scientist named James Highwater that his powers were greater than he initially had believed, due to his previously unknown contact with the morphogenetic field.

Justice League International

Becoming a member in good standing of the European branch of Justice League International, he was also able to draw a monthly salary. As part of the JLE, he battled the Queen Bee, the Time Commander, and the wrath of Dr. Irwin Teasdale. The media wrote lots about him and his popularity increased. Everything was going his way and then it wasn't anymore. After a fireman had accidentally been killed in a fire started by his animal activist group, a shocked Buddy began to reconsider the path he had chosen. Though still a convinced vegetarian, environmentalist and animal rights activist, he asked himself if superheroics and illegal sabotage activities were the right ways to go. Refusing to become a role model, he quit the Justice League and the activist group, attempting to hang up his super-hero costume for good.

Second Crisis and Grant Morrison

Then, when a corporate organization threatened to kill his family if he did not stop doing his deed, Buddy teamed up with the Mirror Master to oppose them. Suddenly, he found himself in the role of a hero once again, getting tangled up in saving the world from a second Crisis at the hands of the Psycho-Pirate, and ultimately, believe it or not, learning the fact that he was a comic book character. He even got to meet his writer, Grant Morrison, in person.

Alternate reality

Naturally, Buddy was not allowed to remember such revelations for long. Some time after these events, he woke up from a coma with amnesia. This would have been his return to normal life, had it not been for the fact that the world he woke up in was that of an alternate Buddy Baker. In this world, Ellen had divorced him, America was controlled by a right-extremist corrupt government, and Buddy himself had no control over his powers. After a series of weird adventures, Buddy could finally return to "his" world.

Antagon and Animal Masters

Once again a movie stuntman, Buddy continued as a part-time superhero, but his life was to get weirder still. His powers continued to malfunction; birds died when he was flying, he absorbed animal behavior and appearance unexpectedly, and animals around him acted strange. After his powers accidentally had killed every animal on the San Diego Zoo, Buddy and his family moved to Ellen's mother's farm in Pownal, Vermont. Later, it was revealed that the reason for this "animal weirdness" was the coming of a hostile Animal Antagon, a.k.a. the Shining Man. During this course of events, Buddy encountered a Native American shaman named "Stone That Cracked Open the Earth Like an Egg", who revealed that Buddy was one of a group of chosen people called the Animal Masters, destined to be the guardians of nature. Together with fellow Animal Masters Vixen and Tristess, Animal Man was able to defeat the Shining Man, who had already corrupted, possessed, and killed B'wana Beast, still another Animal Master. He also learned that his daughter Maxine was an Animal Master as well, developing powers similar to his own.

Apparent death and connection to the Red

Settling down at the farm in Vermont, Buddy's next mission was to fetch back his son Cliff, who had been kidnapped by Ellen's insane uncle Dudley. While looking for his son, Buddy was run over by Dudley's car and actually died. His life-force survived, however, and after many months living in the bodies of various animals, he was reborn as a hybrid animal and saved Cliff. Later, he was able to re-create his original body.

Still, Buddy was now legally deceased, which he did not really mind. He had become tired of city life and superheroics, being content to live in peace on the farm with his reunited family. Fearing that nature would inevitably get rid of the vermin called humans, he started thinking of ways to make them understand what they were doing to their planet. Ellen's mother's farm became something of an "ark", a refuge for outcasts who did not fit in anywhere. Among them were a woman named Annie Cassidy, who also stood in contact with the Red, and her daughter Lucy Cassidy, who started a relationship with Cliff.

More and more, Buddy felt the animal instincts in him taking over. Overwhelmed by the power of the Red, Buddy and Annie made love to each other. The strengthened connection to the Red made Buddy step over the line, and once again adopt the appearance of a hybrid animal. Flying in rage to Washington D.C. , he plagued the city with all kinds of animals, threatening humanity to change their ways or go under. At the end, the authorities captured him, but he was released soon after, partly due to a lot of compassion from many Americans, who believed this "Animal Man" had a point.

Then, Annie came up with an idea; Buddy wanted to change the ways of humanity, they all wanted to make a difference, and they already had many followers. Why not start a cult, or a religion, with Buddy as an "enraged prophet" and Maxine as the savior - the Life Power Church of Maxine? Though they met a lot of resistance from the authorities, the Church immediately grew in popularity, especially among young people. Ellen could not cope with all this, especially not after Buddy revealed that he had had kind of an "affair" with Annie. Alienated by their community, and the forces she did not understand, she finally broke up with Buddy - at least temporarily. Buddy, Maxine, Cliff, Annie, Lucy, and their followers traveled across the state, picking up countless new "disciples" and rebelling animals in a wild caravan on Route 66. Dubbed "the Red Plague" by the media, they finally settled down as a Church in Montana.

Cosmic Phase

After this, Buddy entered what we can refer to as his "cosmic phase". Once again, he died and was reborn, this time with white-and-black-striped hair. While his friends worked with the Church's activities on Earth, Buddy became less aggressive, making an odyssey through various realms in search for universal truth. He had many revelations from agents of higher power, among them a spiritual bulldog named Mister Cow Ultimately battling an evil called the Spider Queen, Buddy finally realized that the truth was inside him. Just as diamonds and coal are the same substance, so is the divine and the human. Buddy, as well as anybody else, was the Body of God and the Soul of the World. With this knowledge, he easily defeated the Spider Queen. Shortly after, Annie gave birth to his second daughter, supposedly a human incarnation of the World Soul.

The Gamesman

The next time Buddy appeared, a competitive supervillain called the Gamesman had kidnapped Maxine, just for playing a hunting game with Buddy. With the help of Aquaman, Buddy was able to defeat the Gamesman and save Maxine. In the process, he guided the temporarily blind Aquaman, making him realize he had elemental connections.

Adventures with the Justice League and Forgotten Heroes

Maybe this adventure was the spark that Buddy needed to return to his super-hero life, because a few months later, Animal Man appeared in public again, dressed in his old colorful garb, and once again with blond hair. He has assisted the JLA on several occasions, even helping them saving the universe in their battle against Mageddon. At the start of the new millennium, Buddy attended a party together with the Swamp Thing, Shade the Changing Man, Black Orchid, and other fringe heroes. Together they helped stopping the coming of a strange new world as envisioned by a Bernie Madden. He has also rejoined the Forgotten Heroes, joining the Immortal Man and Resurrection Man in battle against Vandal Savage and the Millennium Creature. Buddy remains a semi-active member of the Forgotten Heroes, joining up with other members when the need arises.

Murder of Sue Dibny

Animal Man was one of many heroes who helped search for the murderer of Sue Dibny.

Infinite Crisis

He was recruited by Donna Troy as part of a team journeying to New Cronos to try and help stop the threat of Alexander Luthor. During this adventure, he formed a mentoring friendship with the new Firestorm, Jason Rusch. He, along with most of the heroes in space, went missing.

Animal Man was stranded on a paradise-like planet with fellow heroes Starfire and Adam Strange after the battle. After several weeks, Adam was able to get his spaceship working, and they departed for Earth. Their ship, however, was attacked by Devilance, who they had encountered on the planet and who had pursued them into space. Lobo appeared just in time to destroy Devilance, and after some negotiation, agreed to help them out. During a battle with Lady Styx and her horde, Animal Man was killed by a necrotoxin, which caused its victims to rise again in the service of Lady Styx. Animal Man made Starfire promise not to let him come back as a zombie. At the moment of his death, Ellen, still on Earth, sensed it, and began to cry.

Moments after Starfire and Adam Strange left Animal Man in space, he came back to life. The aliens that originally granted his powers stood next to him, saying: "And so it begins." After plucking him out the timestream and repairing his body, they left him in outer space. Animal Man reached out to another life form in order to survive, and claimed the abilities of a group of Sun-Eaters, including a homing sense. He then observed his wife from a wormhole in space, pondering whether to return to Earth, or stay in space, as he saw her with another man and putting her grief behind her.

Return

Buddy finally returned, describing the marvels of space to his delighted family. Ellen held a party to celebrate his return, but some followers of Lady Styx appeared, bent upon killing the family. They were eliminated by Starfire, who had partially recovered from wounds suffered in space. She delivered Buddy's jacket and then fainted out of surprise when she saw him alive, leaving the family to care for her.

Fun Facts

Animal Man frequently break the Fourth Wall, and eventually had Baker meet Morrison.

Buddy tells Adam Strange that his favorite Star Wars film is The Empire Strikes Back.

#animal man #bernhard buddy baker #bernhard baker #buddy baker #a-man #aman #a man #animal masters #forgotten heroes #justice league of america #jla #justice league europe #jle #White Lantern Corps #dc #DC comics #thedcdunce

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romansrgn · 5 years

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AN: I apologize for the wait but the new chapter is finally up after going back an fourth with what I wanted to happen in this chapter. Anyway, thank you guys for liking and sending feedback. You’re excitement means alot and it fuels me to update more so if you want faster updates please like and or review. Happy reading!

side note: let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

taglist: @queenofthearchitect @calicina @never-sawft-princess @5dsinyourdirection@fancybarbii @aria725 @5ds-inmydirection, @lustyromantic

ch.3

“I think you're trying to kill me.” Braelin huffed at her part time trainer and full time friend “Is there a hit out on me that I don't know about?”

Dante snickered “You're lucky this isn't our normal routine. Otherwise, I would’ve wore your ass out.”

Braelin blushed deciding it was best to move the conversation to safer ground “Not everyone is willing to train with a pregnant woman, so thank you.”

Dante agreed grabbing his water bottle “Some people like to think pregnant women are fragile and don't want to take the risk.”

“And you don't think so?”

“Yes and No. Women in general are amazing. Their bodies are capable of carrying life and everything that entails. As gentle and protected as women should be handled, they're god's greatest creations. They can handle more than what any man can.”

Braelin looked impressed “Well, I can't speak for all women but I definitely appreciate a man that doesn't take a woman for granted.”

“Spoken like a woman whose been taken for granted.”

“Unfortunately, I'm quite familiar with it. But I've learned to put what I want someone else to give me into myself. “

“I'm glad you're motivated to take care of yourself but sometimes it doesn't hurt to lean on someone else.”

“I did and it hurt..alot.” She really didn't want to talk about this anymore so changed the subject again “My body is changing. There's some things I won't be able to do but right now I can go the distance so don't take it easy on me because you don't think I can handle it.”

Dante pulled his shirt off “My issue isn't that I don't think you can’t handle it. My issue is that you don't know when to quit.”

“I’ll quit when I’m good and ready. I’m not ready.” Braelin placed the boxing glove on her left hand and handed him the other one to assist her.

Dante’s dark eyes swept over her “Always with the three B’s.” Braelin raised a brow obviously confused. “Brains, brawns and beauty.” he said placing her glove on her small hand.

Her only response was tapping her gloves together “Square up.”

“I’m not fighting you?”

Braelin dropped her arms “Why not?”

“Because, I don't fight--”

“If you finish that sentence I’m really going to kick your ass. I just need you as a sparring partner. I haven't boxed in a while and I could use some practice.”

“That's because you said you hated boxing, remember?” he said putting the gloves on his hands nonetheless “That’s why I stopped adding it to our sessions..”

Braelin shrugged “Well, since I can't beat bitches up in the ring anymore this will have to do.”

Dante chuckled “So you’re making me the bitch you want to beat up for fun?”

Braelin threw her head back and laughed “You know what I meant. Are we going to do this or not?”

Sighing dramatically he squared up with her “Alright, B. Let’s throw hands.”

She grinned and for the next hour they did nothing but spar.

Fan Axxess

“You didn't have to come here with me.”

“I know I didn't. But it's rare that I get to see you outside of the element I'm used to seeing you in.”

“Which is?”

“Our training sessions and inside the ring. I wanna know who Braelin is when she's not in battle or preparing for one.”

Braelin raised a brow “You know who I am. We've been friends for years “

Dante stepped a tad bit closer to the little lady “You know what I meant.”

Braelin tilted her head to the side “Yes, but who said I wanted you to see that other side of me?”

Dante shrugged “No one. But then again you haven't turned me away yet either.”

Despite herself she smiled at that “No, I haven't. Outside of my sister and Naomi no one else knows I'm pregnant. And if I were being honest it feels good to have someone around me that isn't family. I feel like I can relax.”

Dante popped a piece of popcorn in his mouth “I'm more than happy be your escape. Where is your family by the way?”

“The twins and Naomi have a signing at 2:30. Everybody else is sight seeing since I have interviews for the rest of the day and a signing after this.”

Dante nodded “Well, in that case.” he threw a piece of popcorn in the air and grinned when Braelin caught it with her mouth. “You know that was my piece, right?”

The sound of Braelin’s giggle never seemed to get old to him which is why he always made it his business to put a smile on her pretty face despite whatever’s going on with her.

During nights when she felt like letting out her frustrations at the gym he never let her go at it alone and all the way to their random phone conversations at 2 am when she couldn't sleep after traveling all night. Whatever it was he was there and like hell if he wouldn't do it all again.

Dante looked around the Wrestlemania Fan axxess. Seeing the fans so excited about seeing their favorite superstars while cosplaying them was unreal. It sorta reminded him of the insanity at San Diego Comic Con.

Braelin angled her just a little to stare at him “Stop acting like a first timer.”

Dante smiled wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his side “Technically your popping my Wrestlemania Axxess cherry. You should be happy I chose you to do this with.”

Braelin giggled “I promise it won't hurt. Just squeeze my hand and let me know if it's too much.”

Dante nodded dramatically “Just be gentle.”

They both laughed.

“Seriously, I'm feeling so much better with you here.”

Dante kissed the top of her head “Well then, I need to start being around a lot more.”

“Really? I mean I'm not asking you to travel the world with me but it would be nice to see you more.”

She didn't know what she was asking of him but Braelin knew she just needed someone familiar around. Someone she can talk to that didn't judge her and scowl her like she was a kid.

“I don't say things I don't mean. If you need me then consider me already there.”

Silence.

“Braelin, this is probably the worst timing ever giving your situation” he looked down at her stomach which she smiled at “But, I really want to kiss you and I have for a really long ass time.”

Braelin blinked in almost disbelief “You want to kiss me?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I don’t know. I just thought you had other girls you liked. Not that I think you like me, like that.” She held up her hands ”I’m not saying you just kiss random girls, I--”

Her rambling was cut off by a pair of full lips. Braelin kept her hands to her side and her eyes opened deciding it was best to keep whatever this is as platonic as possible. But when she made the mistake of parting her lips slightly granting his artful tongue access. It didn't take long for this friendly kiss to turn into a whole different ball game.

Damn this man can kiss.

Her small hands involuntarily grabbed fists full of his shirt, pulling him closer.

Vaguely she could here the whispers of the people that were walking past them. But It was the sound of someone clearing their throat that ultimately broke them apart.

Dante rested his forehead against Braelin’s “Damn woman.”

Braelin who was slightly panting and on the verge of expressing her own gratification stopped cold at the sight of the angry Samoan behind them.

Roman couldn't remember the last time he has ever been this pissed. He tried to recount a few moments in his life that maybe can top this but came up short. His jaw clenched and his hands flexed but he reminded himself that they were in public and there was no need to show his ass in front of mixed company despite Braelin’s willingness to do so.

Naomi told him that Braelin would be at axxess around noon even though her meet and greet didn't start until two. With her being there early he wanted to get another opportunity to talk too her. He wasn't hoping for anything, honestly, he just wanted to see her. He hated the way they left things last night. Which seems to he a recurring theme in their relationship.

When she didn't answer his calls he walked the landscape of axxess looking for her but a crowd of people taking pictures stopped him in his tracks. Roman was seconds away from turning in the opposite direction so he can remain undetected but something told him to check it out.

And there she was. Standing in the middle of a crowd of people swapping spit with his fucking trainer.

Dante brows furrowed in confusion wondering what the hell was so fascinating behind him. He turned and yup, right on cue. The ex boyfriend “Sorry, Rome. We didn’t see you there.”

Roman glacial grey eyes left Braelin’s and moved to Dante’s “I can tell. You probably didn’t notice the crowd of people you’ve managed to attract either.”

Braelin’s eyes widen a bit in mortification. She decided that now was probably best if they went to a more private setting separating herself from the public and her embarrassment. So she attempted to walk past Roman but he stopped her in her tracks. “What are you doing?”

Roman held up a finger “I came to remind you that our autograph session has been moved up to 1:30.” After hearing that the crowd scattered probably to get in line a bit early. Once they were free from prying eyes he continued “When did this start?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Roman had to disagree “I think it is my business. Especially, since you and I--”

“Last time I checked you two were over.” Dante intervened “Which means you don’t have a say in who she talks to or otherwise.”

Roman grinned and looked down at Braelin “You want to tell him or should I?”

Braelins eyes widen.

“What happened in her past is just that? The past.”

“And what? you think you’re her future.” Roman almost laughed “Braelin doesn’t even know what the hell that is. Love em and Leave em. Once you fuck up your done for, kid. No more second chances. No more anything. It’s a harsh world but it’s her rules.” He looked down at the small girl in front of him “Isn’t that right, baby girl.”

Braelin reached up and slapped the hell out of him causing his head to swivel to the side at the not so surprisingly hard slap. “Fuck you.”

Roman smirked his big hand rubbed his stinging jaw “We played that game already. You lost.”

Braelin inhaled sharply before leaving the two men alone.

The two men eyed each other a bit before Roman shouldered past Dante.

Game on, they both thought.

Roman grabbed his cellphone out of his pocket and without looking at it and yelled in the phone “What?”

Janelle was a little taken back by the attitude “ I guess axxess isn't going so well.”

Roman blinked at the sound of the voice “I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to yell.”

“Its ok. Is everything alright??”

Roman rubbed his furred beard “The morning didn't start off the way I wanted it but it’s all good.”

“Don't tell me you've already had a bad encounter.”

Roman looked across the lot and saw Braelin with her security “Something like that.”

“Well, I hope your gets better. You shouldn't let one bad egg ruin it for everybody else.”

She already has.

“I'm trying to baby. But some encounters are hard to shake.”

Braelin and Roman made eye contact but it was him that turned his back to her “Whatever, it only made me realize that I need to look at the situation deeper, that's all. Things have changed a lot and I just have get use to the new set up.”

Janelle was quiet for a bit not understanding what he mean’t “Are you sure you're ok?”

“I'm fine. So, what's up? How is the spa day with my mom and sisters.”

Janelle beamed “Its going great. I really missed your family.”

“They've missed you too.” Roman took a quick peak behind the curtain and noticed that his line started to form at his booth “Baby girl, I have to get ready to go. But I'll call you as soon as I'm done here.”

“Ok, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Janelle looked at the phone and frowned suddenly having a bad feeling.

“Are you seriously pouting right now?” Finn squinted at his partner in crime who was in quite the mood this evening.

“No, I’m not pouting. I’m hot.”

“I’ve noticed.” he winked.

Braelin rolled her eyes “Why is Wrestlemania always in Florida? I mean do we not know any other fucking states to host this. What about Wisconsin? I hear Wisconsin is beautiful this time of year.”

Finn wanted to laugh but he could tell she was being dead serious “You’re from New Orleans. You should be use to the heat.”

“Well, I’m not use to the heat. I actually” She kicked off her heels “Hate the heat. It does weird things to my hair and I can’t stop sweating.”

“You are perspiring more than usual.” He raised a brow “Maybe we need to take a break. Our next set of interviews isn’t for another hour and then we have another autograph signing at axxess. You still have time to get cool down and rest.”

At this point Finn felt like he was talking to himself because Braelin managed to tie her hair in a messy bun and remove her blazer leaving herself in only a black camisole and some slacks. “You do know you have a hotel room for this, right?”

Braelin smiled tightly at him “Stop being a dick and give me a piggyback ride. My feet hurt and if I walk any further I think they might fall off.”0

Finn through his head back laughing “I dont know what’s up with you lately but I’ve never seen you act like this before.” instead of giving her a piggyback ride he picked her up bridal style

Braelin yelped in surprise.

Just as soon as Braelin was safely secured in his arms. Renee, Seth, Dean and Roman approached the duo wondering about the situation. But it was Renee who asked “What are you guys doing?”

“She’s hot and her feet hurts.” Finn shrugged.

“So you decided to sweep her off her feet?” Dean asked earning a glare from Roman.

Braelin again rolled her eyes “Dean, don’t make me kick your ass. I was actually hot and my feet really does hurt. So I’m going back to my hotel to cool down and change.”

“It doesn’t take two of you too do that.” Roman looked pointedly at Braelin.

Braelin didn't miss the attitude in his voice “It does when he has too take me to my hotel. We came here together.”

“You guys are a we now?” he asked ignoring everything else she said. He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t help it. Roman was more than a little peeved at what went down between them last night, earlier and then finding her literally in the arms of another man. It just pushed him over the edge.

“Hey, relax man. We’re all cool here. I’m just helping out a friend.” Finn said attempting to put Braelin down who was too busy having a glaring contest with Roman.

Renee nodded “Well, it obvious you two have a few things to discuss. Well just--” she pointed before leaving the ex lovers alone with Finn, Seth and Dean falling behind her.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“My problem? First, I see you kissing my former trainer and now this shit.” Roman whispered heatedly

Braelin’s eyes ballooned “Former? You fired him. Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Damn right. His ass can stand in the unemployment for all I care.”

Braelin small hands clenched wanting nothing more than to slap his ass again but she knew it wouldn’t solve anything. She couldn’t be mad at him, not with the secret she’s literally caring/ “For whatever reason you’ve become extremely bitter with me lately and I’m not sure why that it is. You’re so hell bent on making me the bad guy.”

Roman snorted “You think I’m bitter?.”

“Why the hell else have you being acting like spoiled ass child who had their favorite toy taken away from them. I’m not yours anymore, Roman.”

Roman took a step closer to her. His large hands cradling her face. He smiled when her eyes involuntarily closed as she melted into his touch “There are times when I know down to my bones that you were made for me. I crave you so much that I can’t even think about anything else but you. Seeing you, talking to you, holding you and making love to you. It’s always you. But then I remember how crazy we make each other. Us not being together was and is still probably the best option.”

Braelin took a step back. His hands dropping to his sides “I didn't realize I made you crazy.”

“I'm not arguing with you about this. You and I know both know that we lose touch with our emotions whenever we start circling each other. I need to remain level headed and I can't do that with you around.”

Braelin's breath hitched as if she's been punched in the stomach “Wow, you've said some hurtful things to me today but--”

Roman sighed “You know I don’t mean it that way. I sought you out these last three months because I did want to be your friend again. Before we were anything else. We were friends first. But I realize after seeing you with D and how I reacted. I can never just be your friend.”

She couldn't say she disagreed with that statement. Roman meant more to her than a casual acquaintance.

“Well, you won't have to put up with me for too much longer. I'm taking a leave from the WWE indefinitely very soon.”

Roman frowned “Is that necessary? I thought your knee didn't require another surgery?”

“My knee is fine. I just need time. My life is changing and I need to start thinking about my future outside of wrestling.”

“It sounds like you're retiring.”

Braelin said nothing.

Roman attempted to pull her into his arms but stopped cold when she took another step backwards. “Don't do that. You I didn't mean to hurt you baby girl.”

“You know... you say that too me an awful lot.” she did the one thing that came natural to them, she walked away. “Goodbye, Roman.”

Roman pulled out his cellphone “Hey, can you meet at my hotel room in an hour? We need to talk.”

Roman untied the knot at the nap of his neck when he heard a knock at the door “It's open.”

Keyon and Roman once again did the bro hand shake before bumping shoulders “What’s up man?”

“Have you talked to Braelin today?”

Keyon nodded “Yea, we all went to breakfast before she had to head to axxess, Why?”

“Did she say anything about retiring to you or the rest of the family?”

Keyon thought for a moment. Nothing stood out about breakfast outside of Braelin not drinking a mimosa which she was known to do in the morning when she needed to be woken up and with her schedule he thought she probably needed at least three of them “Nah. If she did you know momma would’ve been happy as fuck. We wouldn’t be able to hear the end of it.”

Roman already knowing that to be true nodded. He knew Mama C was never a fan of Braelin’s decision to pursue wrestling so she would’ve been the first person Braelin told. That was if she hadn't told Briyanna and Naomi.

“You know B likes her mimosa’s with her breakfast to wake her up. This morning she passed on it”

Roman sat down in his chair. He was suddenly reminded of last night when he offered to buy her drink and she turned him down. “Braelin is not drinking and she’s retiring. Something’s up man.”

Keyon had his theories but he wanted to run them by his baby sister first. “Maybe it’s not as deep as we think it is. She’s getting older man and the things that she once loved before she’s probably just not into them anymore.

Roman almost flinched at the implication “Yea, you’re probably right. Thanks for coming by man.”

“No, problem. Despite what’s going on between you and my baby sister. We brothers.”

Braelin used her key to unlock her hotel room door. Suddenly feeling emotionally drained, she collapsed against the door. She placed a hand on her slightly protruding stomach “Well. kid. I apologize in advance for all the drama today. Mommy made a mistake and now everything is all messed up. Some people have double lives but it seems like I have three. I’m whatever my fans want me to be, I’m whatever my family wants me to be and then there’s me. Your momma. It’s going to be scary for a while because it’s just me and you but I promise everything is going to be ok. I’m going to make sure of it.”

There was a knock at the door “Who is it?”

“It’s me. I’m just checking to see if your ok.”

Braelin smiled before opening the door “I’m feeling much better now, thank you. I need to apologize too you. Roman had know business firing you because of me.”

Dante shrugged “I was going to quit anyway.” “Why?”

“Something tells me there’s going to be a conflict of interest.”

Braelin grinned up at Dante “Oh yea. I wonder what the conflict of interest might be.”

Dante pulled her small body to his, his large hand cupping her cheek “As if you don’t already know.”

“I think I need to be reminded.”

Dante who was all to happy too oblige eagerly captured her cupid bow shaped lips with his own. He absolutely loved the way she tasted. Every part of him was wondering if the rest of her tasted just as good but he knew she was nowhere near ready for that so he planned on getting his fill with this kiss.

Braelin moaned her small hands bringing him closer to her. She knew she needed to put the breaks on this before it went further and despite what her body was telling her she wasn’t ready to go any further without regretting it later.

She pulled away licking her lips and staring into his lust filled eyes “My situation is complicated. My job requires me to be on the road all the time and on top everything else I’m pregnant with another man’s baby. I’m not expecting anything from you which is why I think we need to take a step back and slow things down because the last thing I need right now is too lose your friendship. I can’t.”

Dante frowned “You’re not going to lose me, Brae--”

“You say that now but what if someone else comes along and you realize everything you want and need is with her and not me. I can’t handle that, not again. Not from you.”

Dante wiped away the single tear that fell from her green eyes “What is this about?”

“Nothing.”

“No, it’s definitely something. Is this about Roman?”

Silence

“Braelin?”

“He’s the father of my baby.”

Dante's eyebrows practically lifted off of his forehead “If he’s the father of your baby then that means you two--”

Braelin hung her head in almost shame “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It was a one time thing that didn’t mean anything, I swear.”

Dante tried his best not to pass judgement because he had a front row seat at how difficult the break up between them were. Not only has he been the trainer for them both for the past three years he was also a friend.

Braelin bit down on her bottom lip as she watched as he tried tpo process what she just told him “Please, say something.”

Silence.

“I understand if this is too much. It’s too much for me too. But I hope we can still be--”

Dante placed his large hands on either side of her face once again “I’m not judging you. It just took a me a while to process everything. But I’m ready and despite you telling me this I know you’re not. But I just want you to know that I’m here and that’s where I’ll stay.” he searched her eyes for a second “He doesn't know does he?”

Braelin shook her head “It’ll mess everything up. It’s best if he doesn’t know.”

Dante didn’t totally agree with that. In fact there was a part of him that knew if Braelin did tell Roman that she was pregnant he was sure that Roman would drop everything especially his wife to play house with Braelin and their kid despite the life long promise he made to Janelle and selfishly that was the last thing he wanted.

“I know I should tell him and eventually I will but I can't be the distraction and the reason he loses everything.”

“A distraction?”

“It doesn't matter. Everything is better the way that it is. So I need you to promise me that this stays between us.”

“I promise. In the meantime you have to promise me that you'll come to me if you need anything. Unless, Rom--”

“Roman is no longer an option. I'm ready to move on I just need to do it when I'm not so overwhelmed.”

Dante nodded “Well, I'm going to let you get ready. Call me after your done with your interviews/.”

Braelin nodded and kissed him on the cheek “Thank you. For everything.”

“You don't have to thank me. Take care of yourself. That's all the thanks I need.”

Naomi scrolled down her twitter timeline and her eyes widen. There it was plastered all over TMZ's twitter page: Pro Wrestler Braelin Williams is now dating Actor/ Boxer/Trainer Dante Munteanu. With a picture of them kissing.

Braelin placed her small hands over Naomi's eyes “Guess who?”

When Naomi didn't respond Braelin removed her hands and frowned when Naomi went back to looking at her phone “What's got you so fascinated?”

Naomi held up her phone “Please tell me this is bullshit?”

Braelin cursed “They must have gotten this picture from one of the fans.”

“So it's real?”

“Yea, it's real.” Braelin rolled her eyes when Naomi stared at her dumbfounded “Don't look at me like that. It just happened.”

“You've been having a lot of those ‘it just happened’ moments lately. Roman is going to flip the fuck out “

“He already knows. He caught us kissing and basically fired Dante and told me I make him crazy.”

Naomi wasn't surprised Roman and his cousins all had the same temper. They react first and think later. “Good, thing it was just a kiss and nothing else. You have way too much going on to add more drama too it.”

Braelin bit her lip “I don't know what's going on between Dante and I. We're taking it slow.”

“Slow as in not at all, right?”

Silence

“Brae.” Naomi yelled.

“I don't know.” Braelin yelled back “I’m feeling so much right and I don’t have a handle on any of it. Roman and I will never be what we use to be and that makes me sad. I'm tired of being sad, Nao.”

Naomi nodded “I didn't mean to yell. I just want you to be ok.”

“I'm carrying his child and he will never know. I will never be ok. Not completely. But I need live with this and I need to move on. I owe myself that much.”

Roman and The Usos joined the girls in what appeared to be in high spirits.

Naomi was the who of course called them out on it “Why are y'all in such a good mood?”

“Its Wrestlemania weekend. Why aren't we in a good mood.” Jimmy said kissing Naomi on the lips.

Naomi rolled her eyes “Nice try. What's really going on?”

Jey shrugged “We just got some good news. That's all.”

“Ok, what was the good news.” Braelim asked causing all three men to look at her.

Roman cleared his throat deciding it was best to just put it all out there “Janelle and I have decided to start a family after Mania.”

Braelin merely stared at Roman not knowing what else to say “Wow, um. Congratulations.”

Naomi held her head down. That was all she could do without blowing the entire lid off this damn thing.. She could literally see her baby cousin struggling to come up with words fitting for the situation. At Least some that wouldn't break her own heart further.

“I hope everything works out for you. No one knows how much of great father you'll be more than me.”

Roman held Braelin's gaze seeing something else there but deciding not to comment on it “Thanks Brae.”

“Of course.” Braelin pulled out her cell phone and sent Dante a quick message.

Naomi looked at Braelin already knowing what the message said.

I think I’m ready.

AN: Alright, so what do you guys think? Will Dante and Braelin have a shot now that she’s attempting to move on with her life? Or do you guys think both she and Roman are making one bad decision after another?

I’ll give ya’ll a hint on the next chapter: It’s 50% Roman and Braelin in the past. Let me know whatchu think by leaving me a message under the story or in my inbox. Until next time.

#roman reigns x oc #wwe fanfiction #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns fan fic #roman reigns #WWE #key writes

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