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failedintsave · 2 years

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OKAY here’s a real one 28 49 60 skwistok

Three prompts means I can make this longer than I intended for the game, right?

Proposal fic/fake married/poorly timed confession

"Oh noes, you guys, you gots to helps me! You really gots to help me out!"

Four pairs of eyes tracked Toki from the couches as he skidded into their midst, his face taut with apprehension.

"What um. Toki, what do you need help. With."

"Yeh, Toki, what're ya yellin' for? Yer nterruptin' my stories!"

"Well..." A sudden flush crept up his neck, mortification at his predicament catching up to him. "So, remembers when I tried dat Ladymates dating service?"

"You mean the asscholes that lured me to a hotel and beat me with a bat?"

"Ja, so—"

"Right, right. The ones that found you that psycho who wanted to," Nathan's nose wrinkled. "Procreate. On purpose."

"Yeh we remember dat. Why?"

"Well, um. So a while back I signeds up again—"

"Toki!" There was a slap as Pickles' palm made contact with his forehead. "Whet did we tell you last time?! Listen ta yer dick!"

"Schrew that! Lischten to my dick! That'sch the one they buschted up lascht time!"

"Yeah that's true they did do that. Last time." Nathan set aside the paper he'd been reading and turned to fully face the youngest member of the band. "That still doesn't tell us how you think we're gonna help you though."

The heat rising to Toki's face increased tenfold and he began to wring his hands in distress. "Well dey tolds me dat I was constraktionablies obsligated to marries my new match and—"

"Mearry?! Ah jeez Toki."

"So I t'oughts dat maybe if I ams was alreadies married den dey can'ts makes me gets double married—"

"You know in some cultures that's just. A thing."

"Yeah, schischter wivesch."

Pickles waved the others down, then leaned forward and steepled his fingers, conspiratorial. "Dhet still don't sahlve tha prahblem though. Ya still need someone ta be the other half of this sham marriage, otherwise dey'll know yer lyin'."

Toki's hands now slipped against each other where he fidgeted, clammy with anxiety. The creeping blush overtook his face. "I already tolds dem a names."

Silence.

"And?"

Only a high pitched whine escaped him as he turned towards the end of the couch. Skwisgaar had been observing the discussion in quiet amusement, but when Toki turned in his direction all traces of schadenfreude disintegrated.

"Noes."

"Skwisgaar, please! You gots to help me!"

"No ways!"

"Be a pals! You my only hopes!"

"Aments happeningk!"

Toki fell to his knees, supplicatory. "Please, I'll never ever asks for anyt'ings ever again forever. I'll does whatever you wants."

The blonde frowned down at him in consideration. It was a long moment before he spoke again.

"Anyt'ings? Like prackstice every day?"

"Toki promises!" He stared hopefully up into the face of his would-be phony-husband.

The frown deepened and Toki could almost see the reluctance being pushed aside, his offer hard to resist.

"And you won'ts pester me abouts nothing? Not even for to plays a solo?"

Toki winced. Well, if that's what it took.

"Promise."

Skwisgaar's upper lip bulged as he ran his tongue across the top row of his teeth, his eyes narrowing as he weighed his decision.

"Fine."

And like that, he was free and clear, evading the clutches of the Ladymates Dating Service once more. Toki figured they could get some paperwork drafted, a faux license to keep the lawyers off his back, and then put the whole thing behind them.

Toki was wrong.

"You know, if you had just come to me first we probably could have found a, ah, simpler manner with which to handle this." Charles said, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back up at the pair of them standing on the opposite side of his desk. "Unfortunately, I think the damage is done now. We're just going to have to roll with it. Your, ah, news, has generated mixed reactions from the public, and I'm concerned what might happen if it comes out that this is a fraudulent union."

He gestured to a spread of tabloids laid out in front of him featuring assorted photos of both guitarists with words like 'elope' and 'tie the knot' in blocky lettering. Toki's eyes landed on the topmost rag and the massive headline 'Dethklok Gay? Come On...'

"Can'ts we just says dat we ams changed our minds and gots a divorce?" Skwisgaar folded his arms over his chest. "Celebrities ams always breakings up all de times."

"That is true, but with the two of you being in a band together, and your track record for public disputes, I worry that a split may result in widespread panic over the integrity of Dethklok as a whole. Which would be bad for the brand."

Brows knitting in consternation, Toki couldn't help but wonder at their next steps. "So what does dat mean? Dat we ams stuck pretendings to be married forever?"

"Not forever, but at the very least until the gossip columns stop running features daily." Charles turned in his chair towards a brass stand behind him, retrieving three small brandy glasses and a cut glass decanter. He poured a finger of liquor into each, sliding two across the desk before picking up and swirling the third. "It's in everyone's best interest that this appears believable, so you should probably start acting like newlyweds. Mazel tov." He raised his glass to them and sipped.

They kept up the act. They were performers after all, this was just a new facet to incorporate into their offstage personas. Holding hands during public appearances or walking with their arms around each other's waists, minor displays of affection to stave off at least some of the skeptics.

At one point someone asked about their rings, so they'd had a set crafted. Thin bands of pale gold, light enough that Skwisgaar couldn't complain that it slowed down his shredding. Toki wasn't one for jewelry, but he found himself spending a lot of time looking at it and spinning it around with the pad of his thumb.

The first time they kissed for the benefit of the paparazzi, Toki knew he was in trouble.

Months flew by and their admiring public remained as rabid as ever. There seemed to be no end in sight to their charade, no loophole for Charles to exploit and free them from the bit. Yet strangely, neither of them chafed at the continued subterfuge.

In fact, casual intimacy became habit more than an act, bleeding into their leisure time at the Haus even when they knew they were safe from prying eyes and telephoto lenses. They'd find themselves lounging together on the couch, Skwisgaar reclining against his chest as he plucked away at his guitar, Toki idly running his fingers through his hair while he watched tv. And quietly dying on the inside, knowing that eventually things would go back to normal and he'd be left with just the memory of these comfortable domestic moments. Pressing his lips to the crown of Skwisgaar's head, he resolved to enjoy what he could, while he could.

When the annual label dinner rolled around, Toki was not enjoying himself anymore. Obsession with their relationship had finally begun to taper off, and soon they could stop pretending. Except he couldn't. He hadn't been pretending for a while now.

"Um, Skwisgaar? Honey?" They hadn't ever really nailed down the pet names. "Can I has a words wif you? In privates."

The blonde looked up from his conversation, wedged between a pair of industry suits. "Of course, darling. If you gentlemens would eckscuses me." He allowed Toki to take him by the hand and lead him away, snatching a drink from a tray as a server passed by.

"T'anks for de save. Been cornered by dose dildoes forever, answering millions billions questions about de records process." He tossed back half the flute of champagne in one gulp. "Likes dey actuallies understand anyt'ing I tells to dem."

Toki continued into the hall, his fingers still laced together with Skwisgaar's. He needed to find somewhere quiet, away from any nosy party attendees. "What? Oh. Ja dey ams real annoyings."

"Dids you really needs to talk about somet'ing?" Skwisgaar asked, still trailing where Toki towed him along.

"Ja, um. I gots something to says..." He stopped short and tried to stifle the nerves vibrating through him. It was now or never. Toki grabbed the glass from Skwisgaar's hand and downed the rest of the drink, desperate for some liquid courage. "Skwisgaar...when we started doing dis whole pretends-married thing..."

Laughter echoed down the hall as a small posse of guests wandered away from the main hall. Why was it so hard to get a minute of peace in their own house? Looking around, Toki spied a supply closet and rushed in that direction, dragging the lanky Swede behind him.

"Toki, what ams—"

Before they could be spotted, he wrenched the door open and ducked within, slamming the door the second they crossed the threshold. Without a light it was impossible to see what was stored inside, and Skwisgaar's foot caught on something as Toki forced him into the space. He flailed in the dark, grabbing into Toki's suit jacket and sending bottles of household cleaner toppling from the shelves to bounce across the floor. Their feet tangled in a coiled extension cord and soon they'd landed in a heap on the ground, the handles of toppled mops and brooms forming a crude lean-to above them.

"Ow, sons of a... Toki—"

He raised himself onto his elbows where he'd fallen atop the taller man. This was going horribly, but if he stopped to regroup he feared he'd never be able to try again.

"Well dis aments how I pictured having dis conversation but...well..."

Skwisgaar shifted beneath him, wriggling to disentangle them from the pile of janitorial supplies. "Toki—"

Maybe it was better that it was dark. Then Skwisgaar wouldn't see the scarlet color of his face, though he could probably feel the heat emanating from his cheeks.

"When we starts dis whole act, you was doing me a big favors, and I real thanksful for dat."

"Toki—"

"No just lets me go first, den you can says whatever you wants." The body under him stilled and he took a deep breath before continuing. "I know dat soon we probably won'ts need to keep putting on dis show and if you still wants to gets de pretends divorce den fine but... I don't think dat I ams faking it anymore. I really, really like being wif you like we has lately. And, if you likeds it too, maybe we could tries it for reals?"

Skwisgaar didn't speak for several moments and Toki began to think that even if he had, it would have been inaudible over the nervous hammering of his heartbeat. Finally, Skwisgaar broke the unbearable silence.

"I was just goingk to say dat you ams on my hair."

Toki reared back, hands flying to cover his face. "Oh god. Ohhh my god. Kills me now." If a pit could open up and swallow him whole right about now, that would be great.

The touch of long fingers wrapping around his wrists preceded a low chuckle from the floor. Skwisgaar peeled his hands away, tearing down his shield with unexpected gentleness.

"So you caughts de real feelings, eh?"

"Shut up." His lame deflection was met with another warm laugh.

"Dats so cute."

"Okei, stop making fun of me. Forgets it. I'm gonna go drink the whole bar now." Toki shook free of Skwisgaar's hands, but they just dropped to his necktie instead, dragging lightly down the silk material.

"I t'inks I could be interested in dis proposal of yours, 'dough." The Swede purred, the smile evident in his voice even in the dark.

Wait. What?

Toki let himself be tugged forward by his tie. There was no one here but them, nobody to watching their playacting. This was Skwisgaar actually flirting with him.

"Oh you asshole."

"Huegheughhueheughh."

"I'ms gonna smother you."

Skwisgaar continued laughing even after their lips met.

[Send me Trope Mashups and a Pairing!]

#sorry this took a minute. it got away from me a little bit.#and i may revisit this later for a long form fic. really fluff things up lol #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #skwistok #metalocalypse #asks #thank you! 💜

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hyannah · 5 years

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Anon Archives vol. 4 (right?)

full res: x I miss him too. He was the first of the cast I ever designed and without him, there would simply be no TBoA. Rest assured there will be no shortage of him in the comic :) I understand that the concept of Wolfe with facial hair will be like marmite for most of you, but it’s probably something that you should prepare for regardless! Wolfe no longer has use of his hands due to extensive nerve damage and he has to get imaginative with ways to keep his grip on things - but some tools, like razors - are simply impossible for him to use anymore due to his tremors. Before the gang comes together he will be looking quite worse for wear.

full res: x She calls him “Marty” :) Her mother called him that so it makes him happy. He’s not her father but he loves her as one would. He was the one who delivered her as a baby, though during the process there were complications. She broke her leg on the way out and though Martin was able to treat her, it caused her to walk with a slight limp growing up. Teaching her to dance wasn't just Martin's idea of physiotherapy but his way of showing her how dearly he cared for her. Music and dance are our good doctor's love languages, you see. He will have Twinkletoes refer to him as “Sir” when he reprimands her, but due to some of Martin’s own issues growing up, he hates disciplining children. If he absolutely must, it’s firm but merciful, and under no circumstances would he ever raise his hand to them.

full res: x Michael Graves is one of three of Ashwick’s Senior Wardens, the other being Hunter Gerhardt and an as of now unannounced third. Wardens are the town’s law enforcers who work directly under the church’s orders. Neither entirely police nor militia, they’re a bit of both. Wardens patrol the streets at night and make sure no one is out after Curfew. Wardens are simultaneously feared and revered amongst the deeply religious townsfolk who view them as God-sent, but no one strikes pure terror into their hearts quite like Graves. While Hunter is known for being terrifying but sometimes merciful, Graves holds no such reputation. If gunshots are heard in the night or blood stains the cobblestones in the morning, townfolk know to keep their mouths shut and heads down.

Thank you so much! I still have some demons to battle but I want to get better, and your support means the world.

Thank you! I kinda wanna die when I look at that piece. Damian deserved better than my art in that funky phase and I will capture his true beauty one day.

LOL Bloodborne has been a huuuuge visual influence on me over the last few years. Expect to see some similarities I'm sure.

Thank you ;.; I used Paint Tool Sai religiously but I've unfortunately fallen out of love with it in the last year in favour of Clip Studio Paint. I would highly recommend CSP and since it comes with a one-month free trial you'd be missing out not to give it a go. I occasionally use Photoshop for some final touches but not enough to say it's worth paying that silly subscription fee for. Lately, I've been using Procreate on my iPad. It was one hell of an investment (😔💸) but it was worth it - the iPad feels great to draw on.

Thank you! Yes, definitely expect that. There are a few timeskips in canon and I have outfit changes planned.

Wolfe can sometimes be seen circling a bed or chair a few times before sitting/lying down not unlike a dog would. Rose cannot - and I truly mean this - fathom numbers. To say she is bad at math would be a terrible understatement. Martin needs a few shots of whiskey a day to keep him going but he never seems inebriated so it’s impossible to tell (unless you’re Hunter). Hunter is so tall that churches are the only buildings he doesn’t have to duck to get in to and he Riker Sits everywhere. Gloria is a little superstitious, and Graves is a cigarette smoker. Twinkletoes likes pigeons.

I would certainly recommend it! If drawing inspires you, give it a shot! Though whether or not I recommend going to school for it is a more complicated question. The good thing about pursuing a career in art is that at the end of the day your work ethic and portfolio are your best friends. Having degrees and connections will help in the industry for sure (and why I DO recommend art courses for people who have the money and want to experience student life), but if you're a poor kid that can't shell out the dough for art school or if you studied a different field, or if college didn't/isn't working out for you, it's not the end of the road. You can build your career on your own terms if you're driven enough.

Hm, let's see. I think Wolfe and Gloria would appreciate some sweet treats! Hunter rarely eats anything that isn't meat, and Rose has lived on the road most of her life so campfire food is what she's used to. She's the kind of person you'd see eat something horrifying like uncooked beans straight from the tin. Gloria appreciates her guilty pleasures and Wolfe recalls her sharing taffy with him as a little boy. But those memories are hazy now, and he's long since forgotten the taste.

Oh jeez, that would mean the world to me! As for the dialogue, it’s probably a bit of both honestly haha.

Hunter: 43, Wolfe: 23, Gloria: 41, Martin: 45, Rose: 19, Graves: 38. Some of you may recall Hunter being younger but I had to make a few timeline adjustments. Otherwise, everyone has remained the same.

Oh, well, it just might be! Wolfe is used to carrying the frail and sickly through the Charnels, but human touch in that regard is alien to him.

You're right about one thing, Ashwick is certainly in the title! I'm pretty close to revealing it so hopefully you won't be stumped for too long. I can reveal however, if I haven't already (and I think I may have, I haven't read the previous Anon Archives in years), that TBoA was going to be called Memento Mori.

He raises an amused brow at your sentiment but if you're under 35 you're all toddlers and babies to him. Plus he can't go 5 minutes without thinking about his wife so it's safe to say he’s settled down.

Haha, yeah! All of the above. Though it goes both ways. Hunter’s antics drive the poor man up the wall for sure but Hunter will be the first to tell you that doc is a force of nature too when he’s got to be. They’ve known each other for decades. They’ve taken bullets and bruises and stabs wounds for one another. Martin makes sure Hunter doesn’t get himself killed (at least he did before Malignancy took that off the table) and Hunter makes sure Martin doesn’t work himself to death. Gloria just wonders why they both have to be so damn dramatic.

1. Rose's candles simulate artificial sunlight and can temporarily vanquish Spectres from the area at night until the wick runs out. These are especially useful to the common folk who may be suffering from seeing their dead loved ones night after night. Her special coloured candles are different, though. They block a Malignant from being able to possess their Host's body and thus allow the Host to keep control of themselves when night falls. You'll learn more about the ins-and-outs of this mechanic in the comic.

2. I can't share that! You'll just have to wait and find out. Though it is a wonder how someone as formidable and self-disciplined as Hunter could fall prey to a Malignant's manipulation … I suppose even men like Father Gerhardt have been vulnerable at one point in their lives, huh?

It’s private, sorry :( It was a kind gesture from a fan who wanted to show their appreciation but it quickly got a little out of hand and very inappropriate. I’m good friends now with the few who did join so it’s not so bad and we have a good laugh, but it’s given me a small taste of “Fandom” on a grander scale and it was enough for me to realise it makes me pretty uncomfortable to be in the middle of it. I love being able to communicate with you all but I don’t love being in awkward situations so much. I might try again in the future, we’ll see.

Malignancy is unpredictable and what happens to one Host won't necessarily happen to the other!

ohohohoh who knowsssssss ;D

Nope, she’s Hunter’s danger noodle gal.

Yes, I love them!!!! I recall checking them out after you sent this message quite some time ago. I had heard a few of their songs before but I've been listening to them regularly ever since. I appreciate the recommendation since music is a really big thing for me.

Oh thank you very much! They're my own characters yes :) I first created them when I was 16 for a college project. One day I would like to share that with you all because it's come a long way. The comic is in development. Thank you all for your questions, I think that’s most of them. If you don’t see your ask in here it’s because it was asked already, I got a similar question and took a screenshot of that instead, it was too inappropriate, I can’t reveal the information yet, or I simply didn’t see it. As always if you’re looking for more prompt responses please message me off anon so I can reply privately since I respond to most anons in bulk!

#anon archives #tboa #tboa (webcomic)#my art #digital art #Illustration #wolfe grey #martin mcgregor #michael graves #twinkletoes #asks #anonymous

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diyunho · 5 years

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The Joker x Reader - “Freaks” Part 1

Y/N is a metahuman with several peculiarities, but one could say the weirdest is her heart: it is gated by four locks that make it impossible for the woman to fall in love. Also one could say she’s manipulative, cunning and ruthless. Sounds familiar? Maybe that’s why The Joker is the perfect candidate to help her finally get something she always desired: a one of a kind heir.

“Yoooo-hoooooooooo, Mister Jooo-kkkeeerrr!!!!” Bane skips along the poorly lit corridor since it’s almost 11 at night and the Arkham inmates are supposed to be asleep. Yet they’re not: the ruckus woke them all up and now they are standing by the glass walls facing the hallway, wondering what the heck is going on.

The real Bane sighs, completely unappreciative of you borrowing his physical appearance.

“Hey, cut it out!” he admonishes as Y/N passes by and she decides to stop for a moment.

“Hello there handsome,” you swing your hips while walking towards him and The Riddler snorts, entertained: his cell is right across so it’s not like he can miss the show.

“If you’re going to mimic me, don’t do stuff like that!” Bane hisses through his mask, irritated.

“Apologies honey,” you wink and continue. “Far from me to purposely chop your masculinity to pieces,” but seductively sway on the tip of the heavy boots, taunting more because... who’s going to stop you?

“Seriously?!” Bane growls and you cut him some slack, transforming into The Joker for a few seconds.

“Jeez, don’t get worked up,” you smirk and blow the green hair off your face. “I’m looking for this guy, I know he’s here too.”

“Why are you looking for him?” Killer Croc punches his fists together, hoping he can twist your presence in his favor.

“I need him for breeding purposes,” you serenely admit as The Clown Prince of Crime rolls his eyes three padded rooms up from your present location.

“I told you before I can help with that,” Harvey Dent flips his coin in the air, not understanding why his offer was rejected numerous times.

“Me too!” The Riddler grins. “You should forget about the man that repeatedly refuses your advances and pick one of us,” the mastermind gestures at the cells containing prisoners willing to take on the task.

“I want him,” you revert to your human form, Mr. Freeze gasping with admiration: he’s been a fan for the past two years. “He’s the only male I’m compatible with for procreation on this continent and nobody else will do.”

“How do you know?” Deadshot addresses the burning question.

“I just know, ok?” you pout not wishing to get into details. “That’s why I’m here to bail him out. I helped his men clear the area so we can rescue the father of my future baby.”

“Ugghhhh,” a displeased and very loud protest is heard from The Joker’s cell.

“There you are,” you light up with the happiest smile and abandon the captives held in pretty boxes lined up on the south side of Arkham Asylum.

“Hey Y/N,” Jonathan Crane smacks his lips, “if you get me out of here also I’ll give you two millions.”

“I’ll give you double!” The Penguin shouts and Bane promises:

“I’ll give you three!”

The offers keep on pouring in and the shapeshifter is not a person to say no to easy money.

“Might as well,” you press the yellow buttons outside everyone’s incarceration chambers, leaving the best for last.

“Hiiii Mister Jooooker,” you drag the words and he grumbles, squeezing past you as soon as the glass slides enough for him to emerge from the cell.

“Shut up!” he barks and you couldn’t care less about his crabbiness.

“Your crew is waiting outside,” you giggle and turn into Frost, escorting the grouchy Clown in the direction of the exit you know it’s safe to take.

“Would you look at that?” The Shark teases, not being able to contain his laughter.

“Holy shit!” Panda tries to keep it together yet it’s impossible: the real Frost gives them a dismissing glare, annoyed Y/N is lovingly holding The Joker’s arm as they come down the stairs, definitely engaged in some sort of argument.

“That’s obviously not me!” Jonny mutters and there are more disrespectful remarks from the henchmen patiently waiting for their boss.

“It’s still funny as hell!” Richard underlines and swallows his sentence when Y/N posing as Frost kisses The Joker’s cheek.

“One more sound out of you jerks and I’ll bash your brains in!” Jonny threatens because he’s sick and tired of Y/N playing charades at his expense.

Thankfully you switch to your old self immediately after but the team is glad they’ll have something to tease Frost with in the weeks to come. Although it can be overdone: under the apparent calmness he has quite a wretched temper.

“Delivered as agreed,” you cheerfully announce to his gang and follow J even if he’s not thrilled about it.

“Get lost!” he angrily stomps, pushing you away when you grab his hand again.

“Stop being so rude!” you remodel your body after his and he takes a deep breath, staring back at another fabulous J courtesy of Y/N.

“Stop mimicking me!!!” he sneers and Panda comments in a low tone, convinced he’s far behind to safely say it:

“Two Jokers. God Forbids!”

A couple of goons nearby snicker and the amusement abruptly halts when you raise your voice:

“I heard that!!!”

“Huh?” J inquires.

You just lift your shoulders up, not wanting to distract him from what he has to focus on: making sure he fulfils your demand.

The First Lock

“You’re still here?!” The King of Gotham comes out of the bathroom, intensely drying his wet hair with a towel. “I thought that by the time I’m out of the shower you’ll be gone.”

You gaze at his naked body, reckoning it’s a nice coincidence to be compatible with such a beautiful specimen. Could be much worse.

“Why don’t you want to help me?” you ask and The Joker is aware what you’re referring to. “I’ve been begging you for a year; I must emphasize I’m losing hope and I will probably have to move to another continent in order to find a new prototype that could give me an heir.”

“Not my problem. Why do you want a kid?” he tosses the towel on the floor and digs around in the closet for a pair of boxers.

“So I won’t be alone,” the disarming reply makes him tilt his head to analyze the stubborn metahuman that pesters him on a regular basis about crap he doesn’t give a damn about. “The storm is coming,” you shift the subject when the lighting strikes the dark skies in the distance at 1:23 in the morning.

J gulps, uneasy: he saw the 6 feet creature for a split second and it certainly startled him.

“Apologies, Mister Joker,” you try to fix the mistake because it’s evident his reaction is below excitement standards. “The fire bolt must have projected my true nature. You only tolerate the pretty side, don’t you?” the sadness in your demeanor confuses J. “They all do…” Y/N whispers to herself. “Is this better?” you transform into Poison Ivy, then Cat Woman, then a random blonde girl with big boobs; by the seventh option The Joker had enough.

“Cut it out!” he finally finds his favorite underwear and you stand by the bed, opting out to be your human self for his sake.

“Can you please help me?” a disappointed woman pleads since he’s getting ready to go to sleep.

“Why would I help you?” The Joker snaps, hoping you’ll disappear from the premises and let him rest at the mansion he found refuge at after breaking out of Arkham.

Your eyes get teary and he never saw you show any type of weakness before; it’s sort of uncomfortable even for him.

“Because us freaks have to stick together.”

“Speak for yourself!” J gets mad at your affirmation and doesn’t know how to react to the tears rolling down your cheeks. “Mmmmm,” he debates, deep in thought: the insane Clown was captive for almost three months and a half and they surely don’t allow any conjugal visits in that shithole. Not that he has anybody in particular that would come to tend to his urges.

“If I help you,” the sudden switch in mood makes you pay attention, “will you quit bothering me?”

“Y-yes, of course! I swear!” you wipe your eyes, full of hope for once. “Since we’re a match it will only take one time! I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”

You watch J take off his boxers and don’t blink when he yanks you in his arms, afraid he might change his mind: he’s not the most well balanced individual on the planet.

“No kissing,” you dodge his lips. “I only need the technical stuff.”

He gives you a cold stare, fed up with the infernal plague:

“You don’t get to make any other requests!” The Joker pulls you into a passionate kiss that unexpectedly shatters the first lock of your heart.

“Wait, wait…” you part from his soft lips, kind of drunk on the intimacy. “Did you hear that?!”

“Hear what?” he shoves Y/N on the bed and slowly crawls on top of her.

“That deafening noise.”

“Nope,” J purrs while carefully listening anyway. A strong thunder shakes the ground and he grins: “I heard it.”

“Not that, it was something else,” you attempt to explain and he buries his face in your cleavage, protesting the unwanted dialogue:

“After chewing my ears for months, less yapping would be nice!”

You smile, delighted to have tricked The Joker with your fake tears; you sure counted on him being trapped inside the Asylum without any feminine presence to grace his existence and it payed off in the end. Making yourself available when nobody else is around brought the desired outcome: Y/N always gets what she wants.

************

The Joker moans in his dream, unhappy with your wiggling.

“What is it?” he cuddles up to your body and it feels soft.

“I’m pregnant,” you yawn and he puffs in disbelief.

“Already?... We had sex a couple of hours ago.”

“U-hum,” you say and let him caress your skin, unaware your true essence peeked from behind the human shell. “It shouldn’t take too long. By morning I will have my heir.”

“That fast?” J opens his eyes since the pillow talk is actually interesting.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice I’m different,” you hum with your eyes closed, exhausted from the energy you have to channel into the tiny life growing inside your womb. The soon to be mother is so impatient she won’t skip accelerating the process at the expense of her own vitality.

“No kidding,” The King of Gotham mumbles, smitten with the apparition peacefully dozing off in his arms. The storm outside is wreaking havoc and each time lightning illuminates the blackness J can inspect the delicate feathers covering your body: when he touches you they change colors, red butterflies flying out of the pressed skin. He curiously pokes one and the illusion shatters into glowing dust resembling small fireworks.

The Joker has no clue that he is the first soul to ever see you like this; earlier he didn’t have the opportunity to comprehend what he saw, but he’s sure taking advantage of the situation now to understand what he’s looking at.

“Oh,” he touches your tummy that seems to expand with each passing moment: something is moving and he foolishly smirks without realizing.

Whatever is developing inside Y/N he helped create and strangely enough he can’t wait to see the result.

************

The Second Lock

J drags his feet on the wet grass, watching you admire the sunrise. He woke up and the bed was empty: made him wonder if you vanished without a trace. Yet there you are, waiting for him in the backyard since you figured you owe him this much.

“Mister Joker,” you chuckle, holding something wrapped up in a blanket. “I’m off to my house: thank you for participating in this project,” the indifferent metahuman blurs out: it’s the only speech she prepared. “I requested that everyone owing me money from last night should send it here,” you gesture at the huge duffel bag at your feet. “There’s 35 million dollars in here, all yours as a thank you for helping me.”

“Hm?” he crinkles his nose, insulted at the gift. “Do I look like a prostitute?!”

Why is he getting angry?... That’s a lot of money for a one night stand.

“They get paid for sex, don’t they?” he enlightens the puzzled Y/N. “What’s that?” J nods at the bundle you gently rock.

“My baby.”

“You gave birth?!” he forgets his hurt pride, not believing it’s already done.

“Yes, about 45 minutes ago,” you kiss your daughter’s forehead and her innocence makes your chest tightly constrict before the second lock of your heart is broken to pieces. “Did you hear that?” you interrogate the man you don’t need anymore.

“Hear what?” The Joker rushes to glimpse at the newborn as you step back, discontent he’s trying to take her.

“That horrifying bang! How can you not hear it?!”

“I have no idea what you’re rambling about,” he forcefully snatches the baby from Y/N’s embrace, grunting at her resistance. “Gimme, I wanna check out what I made!”

He parts the blanket aside and…

“Waaaaah,” the mesmerized parent holds his breath:

The sweet angel has wings embedded with neon green feathers, the same shade as J’s crazy hair.

“Are you done?” you attempt to reacquire your treasure and he slaps your arm.

“Little bird…” J runs his fingers along her wings and the mini-metahuman fusses a bit, already establishing a connection with her dad.

That’s exactly what you’re trying to avoid before it’s too late.

“Mister Joker, I have to go, ok??!!” you seek to remove the baby from her father.

“Stop bothering me!” he sucks on his teeth and begins striding towards the mansion while the panicked Y/N runs behind him.

“What are you doing? Give her back!”

“What should we name her?” The Joker ignores your outburst, totally struck with this overwhelming emotion washing over him.

Oh no, she’s already getting under his skin!

“WE?!” you shout, exasperated. “This is MY descendant!”

“You said I participated in the project so she’s half mine!” The Clown implies the obvious.“I think we should name her Emma, I always liked that name,” he adds to Y/N’s dismay. “Pretty bird…” J shuts you down as soon as you open your mouth to protest, stroking his daughter’s feathers.

He’s already addicted and this is a complete disaster!

“I’ll tell my boys to get baby supplies,” he decides without taking into consideration any opinions you might have about his plan.

“Why?!” you cringe at the proposal simply because The Joker is not part of the equation; but your daughter is already bonding with him and that’s something mommy can’t break: she has her own will and set of abilities enabling her to already make choices. You’re not sure why she’s making him believe he could be included into a two party family; there’s no space for a third, otherwise it would be a three party family and that won’t work.

“Don’t you need supplies for her?” he enters the master bedroom where the infant was conceived only hours ago.

You’re still on the patio, fuming at his absurdities.

“No, I have to go home! I’ll take care of it! Listen Mister Joker, I’m not expecting anything from you! ” you underline the truth and his witty response baffles Y/N:

“I was sure expected though to get naked and have sex right after escaping Arkham, huh?!” and The Joker protectively covers his daughter’s ears, his messed up brain figuring out she shouldn’t hear that. “Where’s home anyway, huh?” the tirade continues.

“That’s none of your business!” you shriek and he repositions Emma in his arms, preparing to lecture her mother when he gets distracted by the growth spur.

“Did she just get…bigger??!!!”

“Yes,” you join him in the middle of the room, explaining things you shouldn’t because frankly you should be at your residence by now. “She’s using capabilities inherited from me in order to speed up her evolution and then take a break to recharge around one year old landmark.”

“Fascinating,” J gushes while placing Emma on the couch: the baby is napping, not bothered by the quarrel anymore. “Wait here; I’ll go instruct my men on what we need.”

This is the limit to make you lose your marbles.

“There. Is. No. WE!” you thud on the wood floor and The Joker watches you get taller and taller until you can barely fit under the vaulted ceiling, electing to show him what he’s messing with. The metahuman transforms into the nightmare she really is: dark and sinister, covered in black feathers with sharp, long claws and fangs ready to tear apart the human trespassing a fine line.

That’s not what The Clown saw last night: you keep the beast caged but now IT needs to come out, otherwise he won’t understand the seriousness of his circumstances.

“You are not needed!” your heavy steps make the ground shake. “You are not wanted!” you corner The Joker between the table and the couch Emma is resting on. “Don’t stay in my way or you’ll regret it!!!! I’m taking my daughter and we’ll go: don’t try to stop me or I’ll kill you!!!” and you bend over to snarl in his face, prepared to shred him to pieces.

Eerie silence while J is gathering all his strength to put up with the fucked up events leading to this moment.

“You two can’t go,” he straightness his back, so stiff one could think he swallowed a broomstick.

“Why not?” you smell his skin, antagonized.

The Joker tries to look as imposing as possible but he’s still half your size; nothing else in his mind besides some words of wisdom he’s about to repeat:

“Because us freaks have to stick together.”

You unravel your tusks, displeased with his strategy:

“Speak for yourself!”

That went down the drain fast, J thinks while the hideous mug a few inches away from his face doesn’t bulge. His eyes wander off to the sofa and he gasps:

“Where’s the baby?!”

A sharp claw points towards the ceiling and he looks up only to notice Emma snuggling in her blanket.

“Oh my God!” his eyes get big. “What is she doing there?!”

“Snoozing!”

“She’s gonna fall!” The Joker circles around you, worried about the angel.

“She’s not going to fall; she’s comfortable,” you huff and reach to caress her.

“Where are the wings?!” J glares at the gigantic mother tending to her peculiar offspring.

How many people have witnessed such bizarre sight? NONE. And yet The Clown is asking questions without a trace of disgust or judgement; only pure curiosity.

“They’ll come and go, she can’t fully control them yet.”

“Can you…can you turn into your usual self?” he suggests. “You’re very ugly like this and it’s spooking me out.”

“Do you know you’re interested in us because she’s making you?” the monster bites without using her fangs. “You’re useless, yet she wants you around.”

“Oh yeah?” The Joker’s attitude escalates despite the sticky context. “You’re useless also since you chased me until I slept with you; she exists thanks to my help! You should be ecstatic!!”

“Money is not enough?!” you gradually switch to the Y/N he’s familiar with even if you’re still mad.

“I have money,” The King of Gotham pretends not to be relieved by the welcomed transmutation.

“Then what do you want?” you attempt to compromise for your daughter’s sake.

“My birds,” he calmly admits.

You debate on his stupid reply: is J deaf and didn’t catch the memo?! He might be because he keeps on telling you he didn’t discern the odd, loud noises you heard twice so far.

You are not aware it would be such a blessing to hear those sounds again: it could mean the unconventional family Emma is trying to keep together might actually work.

Also read: MASTERLIST

Diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

#the joker x reader #the joker imagine #the joker fanfiction #the joker jared leto #the joker #joker fanfiction #joker imagines #joker #the joker suicide squad #joker suicide squad #joker jared leto #dc #mister j #Mistah J #Mr.J

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esmeia · 5 years

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SCHOOL DAZE PART 1 & 2 My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Season 8; Episodes 1 and 2

I am stupidly proud of this cover. Please notice it, senpai. IT TOOK ME FOREVER. :'3

But wow, I'm super late to this, but here's another little... review? Is it okay to actually call these reviews? Maybe they're more just general thoughts and ramblings than anything else...

Can you believe there's only one more season left to go? Hopefully this one does better than last season!

🏫 SYNOPSIS 🏫

After defeating the Storm King, the Mane6 discover that the Map has expanded far beyond the lands of Equestria. Due to the events of their latest adventure, Twilight Sparkle is inspired enough to open a School of Friendship. Receiving pending approval from the Equestria Education Association (EEA), the group open the school to the public and enroll a diverse number of students. Unfortunately, the belief that friendship is not meant for everyone starts to creep its way in...

🏫 IMPRESSIONS AND STUFF 🏫

So Tempest Shadow is pretty much doing friendship missionary work now? I mean... what did she actually learn? That Twilight's a bleeding heart for a sad backstory and you can be forgiven for crimes against your country if you redeem yourself at the last possible moment? No, seriously, I'm not trying to be mean here. What exactly did she learn? :'D

Twilight wants to open a school teaching... friendship? At first, I was like “Yeah, makes sense!”. But after thinking about it for a few seconds, I realized just how difficult that could be. How do you put all that in a curriculum? Sure, you can teach basic things like “don't lie” and “be nice to each other”, but the nuances of it are gonna be much harder to relay in a classroom setting. All of the girls' best lessons have been learned through just... handling obstacles as they came. I don't think you'd get the same effect if you just made up scenarios to put people through.

Besides, don't all of the girls (besides Starlight) have demanding careers? Did Twilight care to consider the possibility that her friends might not be able to take on a teaching position, or even want to? Heck, her own teaching abilities can be hotly debated. You know what, this school thing is a terrible idea, never mind. 💦

They made Starlight a guidance counselor? Twilight, no. I simply don't trust this lady to pass on good advice to children.

Look, I'm sorry, but the implication that only ponies can comprehend a basic and universal concept like friendship is preeetttyy dumb. Even “dangerous” species like the dragons and changelings get along with each other just fine without the intervention of ponies. If that's not true, then how are they able to function as a society? Or even procreate and raise families? I mean, granted, you can do the deed without actually liking each other, but that's rather difficult if you hate your mate's guts, right? Come on, now.

Rarity dressing like a “proper teacher” is my new favorite thing. It's sweet how seriously she's taking her new position. ♥️

Ah jeez, every creature? Why can't you just say everyone or everybody? They've actually used those terms before without issue, so why not here? Not only does it just sound off, but it's also pretty... well, it's not the best word you could have used to describe people who are not the same race as you, let's put it that way. :/

Nice to have a regularly appearing griffin in the form of Gallus! He's a snarky little thing and I love it. Slightly disappointed that it's not Gabby who's making a return, though! She was super precious and was all about spreading friendship and positivity in general. Here's hoping she enrolls later on,

Yona's a huge fluffy cinnamon roll! One that could crush you with her enthusiasm, but still.

Oh my God. Ember dragging a reluctant and moody Smolder along like a fed-up older sister was priceless. She was just so annoyed with her and laid down the law like “I'm Dragon Lord and you're GOING TO SCHOOL, MISSY”. It's very sweet too, because you can tell Ember knows it's what's best for her – uh – whatever relation she's got to Smolder. It'd be easy to assume they're related, but you'd think either of them would have mentioned that in passing. Maybe she's just a younger friend who Ember's looking out for. That's just as cute!

And oh man, my low-key ship of – Oh, who am I kidding, it's no secret I ship Spike/Ember a lot. I love how every single time Spike greets her, he does it with a big hug! Ember's still on-the-fence when it comes to shows of affection, but she's getting better at accepting it every time he gives her one. That little smile and pat on the head she gives him is always adorable. 💕

Silverbreeze is just the most. I know that she may be considered a knock-off of Princess Skystar, but I'm honestly totally cool with that. And General Seaspray's design is really cool too (hot birb what??).

“WE'RE BUSTED!”. That's it, Silverbreeze is my favorite of the new kids, hands down.

Yeah, you're caught if you announce that you are, you silly bird!

That Rarity impression was gold: “Daaahhhhhliiinggg~!”.

So... is skipping fine as long as you learn the value of diversity and friendship? Is that counted as a win?

Spike and Ember had color-swapped drinks of each other. I'm just saying! XD

I know this whole mess was supposedly foreshadowed with Thorax warning Ocellus to stay in her default form, but come on. Even if it honestly did slip her mind that it might be a bad idea to turn into a gigantic insect monster, why did she not change back the minute she realized all the panic she was causing??

Y'know, Chancellor Neighsay. If you want an establishment that teaches ponies how to defend themselves from outside threats, I think you're looking for a military or army. You've got an insane idea of what a FRIENDSHIP school should be.

Did he seriously just say “your kind”? This mutha...

But – and I really loathe to admit it – Chancellor Neighsay was right about Twilight's school being a disaster. In fact, him being so in-your-face racist just seems like the writers trying to ignore from the legitimate criticisms of Twilight and company's handling of the school. Like they were banking on Neighsay being so despicable that it'd distract viewers from the fact that he was spot-on when it came to Twilight's incompetence (heck, he didn't even cite his racist views as a reason the school should be shut down). I'm all for a bigot like Neighsay getting a massive smack-down. That's absolutely fine. But the way the episode is glossing over the glaring issues with the School of Friendship is just plain sneaky.

I mean, the Mane6 did lack teaching experience and completely floundered in a typical classroom set-up when attempting to teach friendship lessons, which most of them admitted to after only a few days. And it's shameful how easily a group of students could skip class and leave the premises without anyone realizing until it was too late. Please don't take it as if I'm blaming Ocellus, because I'm really not. But if she was properly supervised, then that entire fiasco wouldn't have happened and heavy damages to the school would have been prevented – not to mention the potential of people being seriously harmed as a result. As slap-worthy as Neighsay is for his racism and his part in worsening relations between the nations (and being paranoid of an attack from foreign nations despite giving them every reason to get angry and retaliate!), he's not at all wrong about Twilight's poor management of the school. She doesn't get a pass just because he's a piece of crap.

Apple mash? Is that not just applesauce? Maybe it's more chunky.

Rarity. Sweetheart. That dress definitely was not your best work, I'm sorry...

No, no, no. Encouraging Twilight to ignore the established rules set forth by the EEA and do whatever she wants to do because she's a princess is terrible advice, Starlight! An appeal to reopen the school after some time and consideration is fine. In all honesty, it's becoming clear that Twilight isn't ready to run a school yet, but fine. If she can at least do a decent job of it next time and not have a world war nearly break out, then I can accept that. But to just throw away objections and force people to go along with your ideas is awful. And even more awful coming from a pony with a history of forcing her will on others, no matter how harmful. Is that not a huge red flag?

Ugh, Twilight, you're so infuriating! How you run a school is important. You can't just go on good intentions alone and hope things work out. Your best friends are trying to tell you this is a lost cause, but you're too drunk on your pride to really consider what they're saying. (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )

Can someone please smack Twilight? There's about to be a world war if these kids can't be found, and she's still laser-focused on whether or not her school succeeded in some way. It was only because they LEFT school that they became better friends. This is not the win you think it is, Twily.

Yona's secretly a giant puppy and I love it!

Kids, it's adorable that you've managed to become such good friends. But what is the plan here? Surely they're not seriously running away from home so much as just hanging out a while longer, but still. Absolutely no consideration for their friends and families back home, huh? You all are SUPER DUPER grounded.

Welp, Twilight just pulled the “I'm a princess and I do what I want” card. Because of course she does. She shouldn't be allowed to do whatever she wants without proper restriction. Her just writing a book and going “these are my rules, so nyeh-nyeh!” is childish at best, highly concerning at worst.

Wh – They didn't even answer the question of how this second attempt was going to be any better! They just copped out with a dumb song! Even Ember called it out! XD

🏫 FINAL SCORING 🏫

🌟 🌟

Wow, this was one confused mess.

Well, let's start with the positives! I really enjoyed the “Student6” and am looking forward to their development. And it was nice seeing some of my favorite minor characters make a reappearance in the form of Princess Ember and Thorax. I also enjoyed seeing Neighsay's racism so thoroughly condemned, as you really can't slam against that kind of thing enough in my book.

Um... I think that's it, honestly.

I'll be brief when it comes to the negatives, because there's a lot of them. The push for the Friendship School actually highlighted why it's not a good idea rather than why it's a good one: the Mane6 themselves quickly realized that teaching a complicated concept like friendship isn't nearly as easy as teaching, say, math or history. The ending failed to provide any reason to believe Twilight Sparkle would handle the school any better than before, and flat-out ignored all of the objections anyone had against reopening it; not just Neighsay, but also her friends. It's clear we're supposed to side with Twilight simply because she's the Princess of Friendship, even if she's not actually in the right. The problem wasn't that she was following a standardized model, it's that she impulsively jumped into this with little to no regard about how it'd actually play out. And then she just does what she wants anyway with the assurance that she knows best and that anyone who objects will simply have to deal with it.

It's worth a watch just to see the new characters and the anti-racism message, but everything else is just frustrating to sit through.

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teamkaiforever · 7 years

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TOGETHER

(requested by anon)

Kai Parker x Reader word count : 2 265 summary : reader is sick and kai takes care of her … NOTE : to the anon who requested it : i put a little twist , hope you don’t mind ;) *not my gif ____________________

It’s been almost a year now since Y/N started dating Kai , the powerful vampire witch heretic. They had started dating a little before he had turned and had continued dating after. He was charming , funny , hot as hell , his blue eyes were enough to make her knees go weak and his smile made her heart flutter every time. Kai kept calling her every few hours to check up on her. Y/N had gotten a cold and he had been worried sick about her , even tho every time he called she told him its nothing serious - just a fever and a runny nose… He had gone back to Portland for a few days to take care of some family stuff , pick up some grimoars and such and for some reason he felt guilty for leaving her alone so he cut his trip short and rushed back to Mystic Falls. She had been sick for a day and a half when he made it back to town , heading straight for her house. Kai opened one of the windows with magic and sneaked inside her house. He took a few steps inside and found her curled up into a ball on the couch wrapped up in her favorite blanket , a cup of tea on the small table and sighed. He hated the fact there was no way to stop this cold she had caught - there was a spell for pretty much everything but not this. Her nose was reddish and her skin burned to the touch , which meant her fever had returned. Last time they talked barely a few hours ago her fever had disappeared. Kai lifted her up gently bringing her towards his chest, the blanket hanging on the side as he carried her to her bed , tucking her in. Her eyes fluttered open and closed as she was fighting to wake up ,her hand reaching for his face. “Hey..” she said weakly. “Hey beautiful. How are you feeling?” he asked stroking her cheek gently. “Floaty.” she said trying to get up. “H-how did you get in here ?” Her voice were raspy but still the most beautiful sound he had heard. “Not important. I’ll take care of you OK. You just rest and I promise you , by the end of the day you will feel much better.” Kai said smiling. "Is there anything I can get you ? Tea ? Tissues ? Another blanket ?“ Y/N smiled. Kai was so caring and loving , it was unreal how no one else got to see this side of him. She tried to focus her vision but the fever wouldn’t let it happen. “No .. no , nothing.” she said curling up into a ball. “You should go.. I don’t want to get you sick too.” “I don’t get sick , remember?” Kai said softly. Y/N hummed an answer , her hand holding his. “Rest up sweetheart.” he said , leaning in kissing her forehead. A few minutes later she drifted off into sleep again. Kai covered her with another blanket and headed towards the kitchen. He was going to make her his special soup. About an hour and later , a loud noise came from Y/N’s room , as if something being knocked over. Kai rushed towards her room only to find the bed empty , her night stand lamp on the ground. Then he heard a sound again , a different sound this time , coming from the bathroom , the door semi open. He took a few steps towards it , resting against the wall next to it. “Y/N? Are you OK?” he asked. “Can I come in?” “No. No , don’t. Arhg this is gross…” she wiped a few sweat drops from her forehead. “We haven’t been together long enough for you to see gross.” Then came the sound again. He couldn’t take not knowing what was happening , pushed the door open and saw her sitting by the toilet seat. “I hate being sick.” she muttered. “Go away… I don’t want you to see me like this.” “Now , what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I leave you alone in a moment like this?” he said softly. “Come on , sweetheart. You know me better than that. There is nothing you can say that will make me leave.” Kai sat on the edge of the bathtub , stroking her hair. Y/N looked paler , kind of greenish too. “Uh-oh…” she said , turning towards the toilet again. Kai was fast enough to pull her hair back for her , starring anywhere but at her in this moment. Not because it was gross or anything , he didn’t care about that. No , he just couldn’t watch her like this … suffering. His gaze fell on a small box on the sink , he tried to get a better look at it but in that moment she tried to get up and nearly slipped , his hands catching her in mid air. He helped her wash up and get back to her bed. She sat there bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them , Kai sitting next to her. “Have you been puking the past few days too ?” he asked. He was starting to get really worried. Colds rarely included puking … more like never , actually. Losing fluids and not having enough food in her system was bad , no wonder she looked so pale. “No , I um … its the first day this had happened.” she said. “Jeez , I legitemately feel better now.” Y/N laughed for a few seconds , laying on the bed and starring at the ceiling. He laughed nervously , taking her hand. “Better enough to come have some of my special soup ?” Y/N’s eyes widened. “You made me your special soup?” she got up so fast , Kai had to pull her back a little. “Not so fast , princess.” he laughed. Kai knew why she was so excited , his special soup was her favorite. “We don’t want you getting stomach sick again , do we?” “Right.” she nodded and got up slowly , only to be swept off her feet bridal style by Kai. He carried her to the kitchen , slowly letting her feet on the ground so she doesn’t get dizzy. Kai’s special soup was reserved for special occasions and emergencies. She had no clue how he had come up with the recipe , just knew there was something magical about it because somehow it always made things better. “You are the best boyfriend ever !” she said smiling , as he left a bowl with soup in front of her , sitting on the chair next to her. Y/N reached for the spoon but Kai wouldn’t let her. “Kai … I’m sick not a baby.” she said with a pouty face. “I am going to feed you and that’s it.” he said completely ignoring the puppy dog eyes she was giving him. “Awh stop being cute.” Kai winked at her. Y/N rolled her eyes , there was no point in arguing with him - he always got what he wanted. “Waiting for the air plane..” she said laughing. “Hilarious.” he said suppressing a laugh , bringing a spoon full of soup towards her mouth. “It’s not too hot is it?” “It’s absolutely perfect ! Just like you..” she said , reaching for the spoon. “Nah-uh …” Kai said moving the spoon out of her reach. “Don’t make me pin your hands with magic to the chair.” Y/N sighed , there was no way he’d try to do that but she wasn’t in the mood to risk it. Instead she reached for his hand , holding it tightly and looking at him thinking how lucky she was to have him. Most people ran the other way when they saw him , thinking he is this dangerous sociopath … and he was capable of being that , but not with her. Somehow she had reached his heart in a way no one before her had been able to. Spoon by spoon the soup disappeared from the bowl and she started feeling better. “Kai ? Could you bring me my blanket please ?” she asked. “Um , yeah sure… since you asked so nicely.” he winked at her and whooshed towards her room , returning a few seconds later with her blanket , covering her shoulders. He took a few steps away from her , starring at the window for a moment before turning back to her. “Hey , um … whats that ?” he said , holding in his hands the small box he had found on the sink earlier. “Pregnancy test ? Why … why do you have that?” Y/N’s eyes widened , it had completely slipped her mind he might see this… then again he had been away for 2 days … “I um … I’m late.” she said. “I bought it a few days ago , but then I got sick with that stupid cold and … forgot about it.” Y/N laughed nervously getting up , taking the few steps separating them , swiftly getting the tiny box from his hands. He looked more nervous than her. “So … so you … haven’t ? Are you ..?” he stared at her , his expression unreadable. He was at a loss for words. Why would she have that ? He was a vampire , he couldn’t procreate … then he remembered a story about the hybrid Klaus and how no one had seen coming him becoming a father. What if him being a witch/vampire hybrid and Y/N being a witch too had the same loophole ? “I’m not cheating , if thats what got you so nervous…” she said taking his hand. “No , of course not.” he said squeezing her hand. “It’s just rooted in my brain , when you are late more than a few days - take a test. It’s why I bought it … I don’t even know why , it’s not like we can - ” Kai lifted her shirt slightly and placed his hand on her stomach. What if … what if it was possible ? Things that seem impossible to regular people happen , specially when it comes to supernatural beings. He smiled nervously. Y/N looked at him with curious eyes … was there something she was missing ? A part of her had been hoping one day she’d become a mother , but she also knew it was impossible to have that with Kai , not that it mattered to her - he was more than enough and they could always adopt a kid. Did he like the idea of becoming a father ? He had never mentioned it … “Take the test.” Kai said reassuringly. “I want to know … What if it’s possible?” “Wait … are you saying that .. that you want this ?” she asked , a nervous smile on her face. Kai leaned in and kissed her in a surprise attack. “You are my family Y/N… I love you with all my heart and soul… and if there is mini you or me growing inside you it just means …our family will grow.” he said smiling. “What if it’s nature’s loophole like with Klaus Mikaelson and that werewolf girl?” Y/N had expected any other reaction but this one. He wanted this , just as much as she did apparently… if the test came out negative both of them would be crushed. “O-kay. I’ll take the test.” “Could you do it now ?” he asked , smiling nervously. “N-now ?” she stuttered and he nodded. Kai practically pushed her towards the bathroom for her to take the test. He sat by the door waiting for her and like 5 minutes later she opened the door. Y/N looked sad or shocked - Kai couldn’t tell because her expression changed every few seconds , she was starring at the floor at first , holding the white stick in her hand her thumb covering the spot where the results show. “W-what … what did it say?” Kai asked with a worried expression. He had been nervous up until the point he had seen her walk out , not looking at him. “Y/N? What did it say ?” Y/N looked up at him smiling and jumped into his arms startling him for a moment , wrapping her legs around his waist. “Loopholes…” she muttered more to herself than to him. She locked eyes with his unable to stop smiling. “Start thinking of baby names , Malachai Parker. You are going to be a father.” “Oh my God !” Kai said smiling , kissing her a second later. “I never thought …” He let her feet down on the ground gently , kneeling in front of her before lifting up her shirt enough to kiss her stomach , his smile never fading away. He got up , wrapped his arms around her and twirled her again , both of them smiling and laughing. “I love you , Y/N !” he said. “I love you , I love you , I love you !” “I love you too Malachai.” she said through laughter , right before Kai kissed her again. He hadn’t realised how much he had wanted this until it had happened and he felt more complete in that moment than ever before. ____________________ MASTERLIST March / April 2017 MASTERLIST MAY 2017 _____________________

#fanfic : mine #fan fiction #kai parker #kai parker x reader #kai parker imagine #malachai parker #malachai parker x reader #malachai parker imagine #the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries imagines #tvd #vampire diaries #vampire diaries imagines #fiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic

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mysticdelphox97 · 7 years

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Tagged by Kalosstarters c:

Welp, I got tagged by Tiia ( @kalosstarters ) so I guess I gotta do this lmao.

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

(this was 13 fucking pages long on Word jesus. I’ll add a “Keep Reading” break so it doesn’t take up people’s dashboards)

LAST…

[1] drink: a mocha coffee cooler from Baker’s Dozen ^^

[2] phone call: uhh, mom probably.

[3] text message: From Mom: “Here.” (she was picking me up from classes)

[4] song you listened to: I’ve got Pandora Radio playing while doing this, so I’ve heard Panic at the Disco and Against the Current so far.

[5] time you cried: Sunday night because I completely forgot that I had an art critique due the next day and I completely forgot and it was midnight and I was trying to churn out this pathetic paper for something I left until the last minute and [SCREEAAMMMMINGGG]

Phew. Okay, I think I’m good now.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: I haven’t even dated someone once.

[7] been cheated on: Considering I’ve never been in a relationship, thankfully I can say no lol.

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: Can’t regret something I’ve never done sooooo xD

[9] lost someone special: Yeah… ;^;

[10] been depressed: Ugh… yes. It’s… pretty awful, honestly. Couple that with anxiety and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: I haven’t gotten drunk before, but I have thrown up after drinking an excessive amount of one of those Starbucks mocha drinks when I was a kid. I can’t even look at one of those things anymore because of that.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] Purple, like an orchid. C:

[13] Sky blue is rather pretty~

[14] I know black isn’t technically a color but I sure have a lot of black shirts pfft.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Tiia and Beth ( @wingsonghalo)~! :D they might be internet friends but I love talking to them every day <3

[16] fallen out of love: Never really been in love tbh. I’ve had crushes that I’ve grown out, that’s close enough right?

[17] laughed until you cried: That’s pretty much me all the time tbh.

[18] found out someone was talking about you: In high school I think… but they weren’t really bad things.

[19] met someone who changed you: Like, for better/worse? I guess most of the people I’ve met have influenced me in some way or another.

[20] found out who your true friends are: Yep. Kinda happened after I graduated from high school.

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: Other than my mom and dad? Nope.

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: Other than my friend Kelsie, and a few people from high school. Sadly I do not know Tiia or Beth in real life and that makes me very sad, I wanna meet you guys so bad dang it T^T

[23] do you have any pets: Hah, oh god yeah. Three horses, three sheep (we used to have hundreds when I was a kid), three cats (two are mine and they’re my babies c: ), and two little dogs—a purebred pug and a pug/Pekingese mix. Oh, and my family lives on a farm, in case that needed some clarification.

[24] do you want to change your name: pfft hell no, I love my name. Besides, you’re not gonna meet many people who’s name is Rosaleen (and spelled exactly like that too)

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I went out to a restaurant with some of my family. It was a school day for my brothers though, and my younger bro had football practice, so it was really just me, my mom, my grandma, and my sister with her baby.

[26] what time did you wake up: a little before 9 AM since I had to go to class.

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Pumping out mini profiles for my Pokémon fankids because my priorities are trash. Oh, and playing Candy Crush Jelly.

[28] name something you cannot wait for: MarissonShipping Week! :D I can’t wait to participate in it!!

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: This morning when I got dropped off at college.

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I didn’t have social anxiety so I could actually go out and be productive, and not be so terrified of social interaction with strangers. It’s awful.

[31] what are you listening to right now: Whatever’s playing on Pandora Radio. When I got to this question, “Blood Like Gasoline” by Against the Current was playing.

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Uhh, I knew a Tom in high school… he was kind of a bum though.

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: Whenever my brother doesn’t put away the dishes properly, or doesn’t put them all away. IT’S NOT THAT HARD BRO. HONESTLY.

[35] elementary: Like, elementary school? I guess it was okay… well, except for the boys constantly picking on me. That sucked. And that’s about the time my parents separated. That also sucked. Yeah, elementary school just really sucked.

[36] high school: Oh man I really miss the high school I went to. I flourished so well there and had a great time.

[37] college: Honestly… pretty boring. I’m just taking my general studies and getting them out of the way before I transfer to another college, so I can focus on what I love. The problem is, I really don’t know what I want to do with that. It’s very frustrating.

[38] hair colour: Oh god it always changes because it’s got a bunch of different highlights. It’s like, a reddish-brown with gold highlights, and it gets lighter in the sun. It’s really weird.

[39] long or short hair: Uhh, right now it’s like, a little over shoulder-length. I usually keep it a bit shorter because I never do much with my hair.

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Nope, and when I did get crushes it was always on the wrong kind of person. So I kinda hate crushes on real people since it always disappoints pfft.

[41] what do you like about yourself?: Oh jeez, what DO I like about myself? Well… I guess the fact that I can exceed my own expectations? Like, with driving, I didn’t think I’d do well with it at all—and now that I’ve been driving for over a year now, I’m actually a lot better at it. And on a couple of exams that I took a few weeks ago, I thought I’d get at least a B on them; turns out that I got A’s on both of them. And I like that a lot lol

[42] piercings: I’ve got one in my earlobes, and in high school I used to wear earrings all the time. Now it’s like, kinda sporatic.

[43] blood type: I think it’s a B-. RedCross really wants me to donate again because they keep calling me lmao.

[44] nickname: I go by Mystic on Tumblr and Rose in real life.

[45] relationship status: Single, and tbh that doesn’t bother me too much.

[46] zodiac sign: Virgo c:

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav tv show: Lately I’ve been really into Forensic Files—it’s about older cases and the techniques that were used to solve them. I also love Bones and Criminal Minds. And, of course, there’s the Pokémon Anime.

[49] tattoos: Nope. Though I should get the backs of my hands tattooed so I know which one’s left and which one’s right. It’s a dumb thing to forget but agh I forget way too often.

[50] right or left handed: Right-handed!

FIRST…

[51] surgery: When I was in first grade I broke my left arm and needed surgery. I also had my tonsils and adenoids removed.

[52] piercing: Ears. I believe I got them in eighth grade.

[53] best friend: My friend Miranda, we’ve been best friends since elementary school c: she’s mostly working now but I usually try to get together with her if her schedule allows.

[55] vacation: I remember going to Washington DC for the first time in fifth grade for a weekend. I don’t remember a whole lot about it though. I guess my first ‘real’ vacation was the class trip I went on in eighth grade, which was also to Washington DC but it was for a whole week. Though I twisted my foot literally the day before I had to leave, so I hobbled about on crutches for the most part, and I had a wheel chair for one of the night tours. A lot of my classmates had fun pushing me around in it lol.

[56] pair of trainers: Is that like, a kind of shoe or sneaker? I’m afraid I have no clue.

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Nothing. I have a protein bar but I’m kinda stuffed from the breakfast sandwich I had earlier.

[58] drinking: Still working on my mocha coffee cooler.

[59] I’m about to: Eventually post this, preferably before I go to class at 2:00 PM.

[60] listening to: I think I answered this question already earlier… well, now Pandora Radio is playing “Miss Jackson” by Panic at the Disco.

[61] waiting for: uh, nothing in particular. I guess for this day to be over?

[62] want: I can’t really think of anything at the moment.

[63] get married: Ehh, I guess of the person is rich I wouldn’t mind. Though if they want kids I’ll have to drag them to the nearest adoption center, there’s plenty of children there. I don’t necessarily want to procreate when there’s kids that can be adopted into a loving home.

[64] career: Currently a suffering student pfft. I guess I’d like to be an accomplished author or someone who works with animals. Maybe I could even help write movies? Who knows.

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: I’m a sucker for hugs

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes are nice.

[67] shorter or taller: Meh, I’m not picky.

[68] older or younger: Ehh, not picky here either.

[69] romantic or spontaneous: I like both tbh c:

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: bruh do I gotta choose. Bruh.

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: Relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? Definitely not.

[75] drank hard liquor? I think I tried it (with parent supervision of course). It was nasty lmao.

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? I don’t believe so. I can’t exactly see without my glasses so they’re usually on my face or on my nightstand.

[77] turned someone down: I think someone asked me out in sixth grade and I turned him down. I kinda felt a little bad because the people I was friends with at the time teased him about it.

[78] sex on first date? Bruh I haven’t even been on a date lmao xD

[79] broken someone’s heart? If I ever did I’m so sorry ;;

[80] had your own heart broken? Yeah…

[81] been arrested? No

[82] cried when someone died? Yes

[83] fallen for a friend? Yeah, it was a crush I had on a guy friend in middle school. We both loved Pokémon and would pretend to have battles during recess. We drifted apart eventually, and he hung out a lot with this other girl. I guess he had a crush on her, but I’m not sure. I kinda miss that.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? Uhhh, probably not as much as I should...

[85] miracles? It depends

[86] love at first sight? Meh, not really.

[87] Santa Claus? Kinda grew out of that a while ago lol

[88] kiss on the first date? Sure why not?

[89] angels?: I’m kind of indifferent.

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Miranda, Kelsie, Beth, and Tiia c:

[91] eye colour: brown

[92] favourite movie: I recently watched Moana and I absolutely loved it, so I’m gonna roll with Moana! :)

I can’t really think of anyone to tag at the moment, so if anyone wants to do this you’re more than welcome to ^.^

#tag meme

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