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#i didn't fail
homoqueerjewhobbit · 4 months
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Wow, this "gender free" fashion brand sure doesn't have any AMAB models.
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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birdmenmanga · 3 months
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I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.
Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.
The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"
I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too
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pherre · 3 months
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average travis player character: some sort of guy with backstory happenings of various levels of tragedy
average clint player character: old man with a mischievous streak (always on the verge of death)
average griffin player character: lil guy with impostor syndrome and trying SO hard
average justin player character: the weirdest person anyone has ever heard of, ever
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cowardlykrow · 8 days
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that your KUNGFU MASTER taught you!
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kaiserouo · 2 months
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Tired Ghost
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knific · 1 month
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and then they all left their boxes and kissed
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couriers-mile · 5 months
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Today's Wyllvember prompt is favorite ships.
WyllxAstarion, WyllxKarlach, and WyllxDurge are pretty up there for me
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svnflowermoon · 3 months
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hey btw before you start being angry at the 10 year old sephora kids and the ipad kids, remember that we should feel bad for them. because the world has failed them. it is not these kids faults that the world is so focused on materialistic things and that their parents don't know how to talk to them. that is the fault of social media and bad parenting. i said what i said.
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capn-o-my-soul · 6 months
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okie i made an art but there is some context to it
so my sister was studying in the haunted theology building on her college campus because it was open and it had rooms to study in . and since it is a theology building lots of people who like catholicism go in there. so my sister finishes working on her paper or whatever and it's like 2 am and she sees a piece of paper in the hallway that says "what is your favorite saint?" with a bunch of names of catholic saints that people like that they put on there. so my sister (an atheist) makes up a fake saint name (st. chadwick the bold) and writes it on the paper.
however, since it was darkish and lateish she accidentally wrote "bold" in a way that it could be misinterpreted as "bald"
now the next day she's having a movie night with friends and tells them about it and one of them draws a very reverent, very bald monk-saint on a whiteboard . and then they make a prayer to st. chadwick the b[o/a]ld
and then when she told me about it this weekend i thought i could use it as a chance for calligraphy / gothic graphic design practice so i made this
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behold
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cosmicwhoreo · 3 months
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I love you and your art!!
And if you don’t mind can you explain Gold Choco’s lil eye thing? Looks neat.
bokay why not-
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Gold's monocle serves a couple functions, acting more like a monitor screwed into Gold's face than just a regular eye. He mostly uses it to take notes, discreetly research random things and (his personal favorite) hack into cameras around Earthbread and be a little nosey nancy. He doesn't need it to have control over his extra limbs or workshop, but it is vital for him to always be watching and always be listening. which is why he hates going without it, he HATES the idea of not knowing everything.
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His "tell" on what emotions are more genuine than others is if the monocle is sparking or not. He also can't actually blink with that "eye", even if it makes it seem like a cheeky wink or whatever, it's always perceiving. (unless of course he's going through to many thoughts, then it becomes staticky and fuzzy-)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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Nooooo Bestie, don't go to mad at me island
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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moodyseal · 17 days
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TOApril Day 1 - Missed Target
«What about you? How exactly did you… uh, do all this?”
I suppose he was talking about the piles of ash and rice, the broken chairs and control panels, and the blood of my enemies decorating the walls and the carpet. I tried not to laugh like a lunatic. “Just lucky?”» (TON, chapter 26)
Tfw an entire group of evil bodyguards tries to kill you but you're a literal god
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starrystevie · 1 year
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it's 2004 when steve finds himself back in hawkins for the first time since he moved away for good. he has a master's degree under his belt, a mortgage on a house outside of st. louis with a dog and picket fence, and a rockstar that wormed his way into his heart next to him in bed every night. he's closer to 50 than he is to 20 and life feels good, life feels settled, figured out in a way he never thought he'd get to see.
"you gonna tell me why you're shakin' like a leaf?"
but sitting across from wayne munson and his sharp gaze is enough to make him feel like a teenager again.
steve takes a sip from his glass of water before setting it down on the end table next to him and watches the way wayne's finger taps against the side of his coffee cup. it's like he's keeping rhythm with something that steve can't hear, like a drum beat in his head that proves that he's the reason eddie has musical talent.
"i'm fine," he responds back to wayne, a stilted smile crossing his face. wayne's gaze deepens like he he doesn't believe him. "i'm fine!"
there's a clock ticking somewhere in the living room and the faucet in the kitchen is dripping quietly and it makes the silence that falls between them even more deafening. steve takes in a deep breath and nods absently as he rubs his palms over his denim clad knees.
"is he in trouble?" wayne asks in a gruff voice, low and to the point. steve shakes his head immediately, stutters out something that sounds like no, and wayne looks at him with his eyebrows pinched together. "are you in trouble?"
"no, it's not-" steve stands up and paces out some of his nerves, hands shoved into his pockets so that he stops waving them around. he sighs and looks back at wayne. "it's nothing bad."
"if it ain't bad, then just say it."
steve groans and runs his hands through his hair. it's harder to do this than he thought it would be, quite possibly the hardest thing he's done in years and that's including having to admit to eddie that he does indeed like the stupid beard he grew as a dare from jeff. wayne is still staring at him with a determined look, like he won't let steve get away with any of his usual charming bullshit, and looks so much like eddie that it makes something in his heart explode.
"fine! i'm asking eddie to marry me and i need your permission or something. happy old man?" he finally says, or well, shouts. it's too loud in the quiet house and he can see wayne wince from the decibel he reaches but it's out. it's off his chest and he's finally said it.
and wayne is smiling.
seeing him smile is strange, not because he doesn't look good with a smile, but because it's not often that steve gets to bear witness to it. it starts off slow, clipped at the edges before it spreads to his cheeks and crinkles his eyes. steve's breathing hard when wayne stands up and wraps his hands around the tops of his shoulders. he can feel himself shaking under wayne's grip and from this close, he can see the tears that he knows wayne is fighting against.
"it's about damn time, boy. took you two long enough to pull your heads outta your backsides."
getting hugged by wayne is almost weirder than seeing him smile. it's short, to the point, with pats on backs and chuckles that break loose from steve's too tight chest. part of him wishes eddie were here to let him be a part of the moment, but it would ruin the surprise he's so carefully planned, so he revels in the rare time between just the two of them.
"had to wait for somewhere to allow it first, wayne," steve mutters as they pull apart and he feels hope unfurl somewhere within him when he says it.
"well, alright, i guess you're off that hook then. but y'know," wayne's sitting back down in his arm chair and steve does the same, matching grins plastered on their faces. "you don't need my permission. that boy is crazy over you and if you think you ain't a part of this family already, then you're crazier than he is."
steve looks around at the pictures on the shelf behind wayne's head. sees young eddie and wayne with arms around each other, sees a makeshift graduation picture, an out of focus one of the two of them outside their house in missouri, one of all three of them around the chritmas tree in '99 when they had wayne come down to see them, and he thinks, yeah. they're already a family. at least now it'll be paper official.
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nuclearanomaly · 11 months
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“I can’t offer much in the way of entertainment”
> Are you sure about that?
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bogkeep · 2 months
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truly videogames are such a good medium for stories where Something Is Wrong With Time... every game with a saving mechanic has a time travel function, be it acknowledged in universe or not. games can give you the option to experience pieces of story in a non-linear fashion or skip them entirely. time and timing is no longer bound to the confines of a movie's runtime or pages of a book...!
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