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butchfalin · 5 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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inkskinned · 9 months

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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

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hyakunana · 4 days

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POV: Even with advantage and buffs, your local folk hero just rolled 1 in Intimidation

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #larian studios #wyll ravengard #wulbren bongle #shadowheart #astarion #comics #fanart #poor wyll so polite even when intimidating #and against WULBREN OF ALL PEOPLE #'but where is barcus??' still stuck on the windmill because i forgot to rescue him whoops #im a failure of a folk hero #i kinda thought of having wulbren kickin his leg or a piece of steel watch hitting him but those would be other tests #plus im kinda on an art slump so im taking easy w myself dfghjk #like i said on twitter - i should NOT be allowed to inspo reroll after this fail - but i hit reroll too fast sdfghjklkjhgf #4th member of the team was lae'zel and i didn't know what to do with her #so i rather imagine she was offscream callin raphael to take her soul for the hammer bc she cant take this embarrassment

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

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ineed-to-sleep · 1 month

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Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops

#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved kuras #kuras #sleepyscribble #oc.emma #my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk #so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game #she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk #the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides #a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse #having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it'#but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise #and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl #bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it #anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone #also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine #bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee #but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself #and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself

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theabigailthorn · 5 months

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spent ages preparing to audition for a role I really really wanted and it's looking like (still unconfirmed) they might not even be holding auditions at all but have just given it to someone directly

which, meh, that sucks but that's the industry!

I'm just like now what? I spent a lot of my free time the last few months prepping and I genuinely don't know what to do with myself now!

#guess I'll... have a bath?#call my mum?#keep prepping anyway on the off chance the rumours are false?#I already asked my agent to investigate but she can't find out either!#that's hollywood baybeeee #sorry mario your blorbo is in another show #I should get myself a treat as a reward for all my hard work even though it didn't work out #I have 3 criteria for this sort of thing and if I tick them all off I can walk away happy #Did I approach it from curiosity not ambition?#Did I make it known in the industry that I wanted the role?#Did I prepare for the role?#I did all three of those things so audition or no audition I can hold my head up high #might get myself one of those nice cookie dough brownies from the coffee stand this week as a consolation prize

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bixels · 4 months

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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

#ask me #anon #once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything #the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again #But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year #In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related #I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped #And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it #I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop #Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas #But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now #But I didn't because I'm TIRED #I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired #what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen #drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter #it can really make you freak out #And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will #I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my #followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm #disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing #you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere #I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.

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yuno-karei · 18 days

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Misfits water gun fight! Who will emerge victorious? Only one way to find out

I did this piece for one of the @mairumadevizine prints! It was also done long before the beach chapters in the manga and I really just... balled with their designs

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fafrogke · 10 months

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I was trying some pencils and I made these to see if I like them

He's fine don't worry

Ren what are you doing there

skrunkly

#14 days with you #14dwy ren #14dwy fanart #14dwy redacted #14dwy #sorry for sending them to the void I didn't know where to put him #how does it feel to be comfortable in a drawing software I want to know please I have changed 3 times #i kinda likedthe pencil for lineart it feels like scratching on cement #okback to my enclosure 🍖#I always psych myself up to post drawings so I deserve a little treat (more drawings)

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a2zillustration · 2 months

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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#Remember when I said I didn't like Araj and Orin the most?#I changed my mind it's Volo. LMAO #I actually had to save scum this bc I untied him and he picked the WORST direction to run #got his ass blasted right into the ocean #Stupid.#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #act III spoilers #croissant adventures #tav #volo #comics #Hello from the tags: it's Jan 19th when I made this and I'm officially caught up on my scripts #which is wild - and I have not done that literally since I started this project in ??? August????#I've been playing act 3 SUPER slowly trying to pace myself both in the game and for comic work purposes #guess I gotta GET BACK IN THERE #Update from today Feb 22nd: I am still going way too slowly-

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 28 days

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yet another little Treat for myself! do i have a problem? maybe!

#got two lil jars As You All Can See to transfer the hearts into #and then i caved and got myself some snowflakes because i need some stress relief tonight!!!#sprinkle hours sprinkle hours-#photos from the bog #soon i will have Four little sprinkle jars on my shelf!#ohhhh and letti has discovered their refilled scratching circle...#im so glad i was able to go into town and get her a new collar PLUS! scratchy wheel #UPDATE! SHE IS LAYING ON IT! THE QUEEN APPROVES!#actually allow me to gush about her she's such a polite little beast #i had to put her new collar on #and she 1) came when called 2) jumped onto the stool and sat when asked 3) stayed perfectly and Patiently! still as i put the collar on #AND adjusted it!#she didn't complain or squirm one bit!#she let it happen and when i let go she stayed put and politely waited for a treat (or two! we indulge here!)#she looks so fancy...#i still dont know what happened to her other collar! the pendant was so nice!#now she has a shitty fish one </3 #but her collar is a lovely blue with gold sun/moons on it #i thought it would compliment her lovely white & caramel fur! i was Correct!

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becauseplot · 10 months

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Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!

Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)

But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.

Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.

Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.

Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.

*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful <3

Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.

#qsmp #qsmp spiderbit wedding #spiderbit #guapoduo #qsmp cellbit #q!cellbit #spiderbit wedding #yeah i know that everyone's talking about the debates right now but ive been busy all week and im behind on vods #so here have a spiderbit wedding word-vomit post and ill talk about the debates later (maybe)#im reading this back to myself after posting and boy i sure do love italics huh lmao #edit: tiny amendment to this post (bc my brain wont shut up) but i should note that ofc jaiden is also part of roier's little family-#-but i didn't include her in the footnotes bc this post was already getting long and tbh the different kinds of families-#-on the island deserves its own post but i dont have any Big thoughts on the matter apart from it's vvvvv nice to see <3 #dont mind me im just rambling

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joyfuladorable · 1 year

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Dragon of the Sun by @forestwhisper3

(Ch.5&6>)

You know, it was kind of weird...

Mikey sat on the living room couch, the sci-fi movie he was watching fading into the background after a really campy fight scene between two psychics reminded him of something.

The first time he'd had a freaky dream that ended up sort of true, he'd chalked it up to some weird crystal mumbo-jumbo messing with him. He figured it was a one-and-done sort of thing, especially since he hadn't had another since leaving the underground city.

But now it had happened again, and this time there were no crystals to blame.

GAHHHH!!!! THIS FIC!!! MYSTIC MIKEY BUT IT'S 03 MIKEY!!!!! This fic has my whole damn heart, holy shit! Author does a fantastic job diverging from canon and giving us all the family feels and character depth that the show didn't. My heart? Palpating, pumping, melting onto the damn floor!! Go read it!!!