#i didnt enjoy it... it was so uncomfy and awkward

[sxcredbunn]

What has been your most memorable sexual experience?

most memorable? i don't take this question on a basis of how good it was etc but the first thing that comes to mind (warning might be a story i have adhd and am detail-orientated):

i had went out with a friend to a house party for the typical friday or weekend night shenanigans after a super stressful and long day, so i just wanted to forget n have a nice time lol. long story short there was a cute boy there n the gap between seeing him n feeling him was some drinks, weed, and eye fucking i didnt even know i was doing, a shit faced friend who spoke my thoughts to said boy, and the boy being chill as hell and noticing i was hella uncomfy and asked if i wanted to hide in his room till my ride came and had a nice time lol. it was honestly like maybe the 3rd time i ever had sex? we were both high and i think he was a little drunk but he approached me after my friend verbally sexually assaulted him (💀) and he was actually pretty chill and didn't acknowledge any of that lmfao

as an introvert it was rlly awkward when he came over let alone after my friends comments but i took the opportunity to leave my friend w the person we knew there since we didn't get along when she got drunk, n then after that he basically verbally consensually sexually assaulted me and my weed and horniness took over. i was rlly shy so he mostly talked and i giggled for like probably nearly an hour honestly, so its more memorable for the wholesomeness i think? but he straight up asked if i wanted to do anything at some point and idk what posessed me but i nodded yes. i already told him i was pretty inexperienced so it was slow n he had a condom but it did feel rlly nice and he was sweet, and plus points bcs he fingered me a bit before so i was already pretty wet n open or at least what was open for me. his dick was a decent size so i struggled to fit him including in my mouth (didnt know wtf i was doing on that end either) so it could've been better (ig if i was more stretched or if he had a smaller dick 💀), i wish i knew what i was doing so i could give him the same experience :( i felt so bad. but it was one of my first times and cant blame either end much !! mentally i was super uncomfy, and he felt uncomfy inside for a bit but the magical powers of the vagina got me adjusted a little better and i think overall we had fun.

we pretty much just like giggled and moved onto some weird conversation n got ourself together and awkwardly managed to go back out to the party bcs my ride was there and i basically bolted out red faced and like embarassed like i didn't agree to it or enjoy it 😭 we didnt get numbers or anything n i didnt go back so never saw him since but if i was as stretched as i was now id 100% go for round 2 :3

#asks #anons

[scrmngtts]

i checked my last entry prior to the last one.. i can kinda feel somethings gonna happen i shouldve trusted my instincts..

OKAY SO LETS START!//

Again, im writing this to vent and journal my emotions.. nothing else. to help me cope and to help me process my thoughts better.

SATURDAY.. I invited them to go to this place to support my friends. it went well, i met his bestfriend again first we chatted for a bit and then we head over to the place.. it was fun id say.. i enjoyed.. my friends were there too it was nice seeing them as well. we had lunch together. was really nice as well cuz we get to talk and he seem to really like my friends which is really nice i like that, they were laughing and such and they were getting along. really glad on that part. idk if he ever was jealous that all my friends are mostlly gus, tbh idont think he cares so.. shrug i gues//

so yeah after we ate we went home, i said my goodbyes to my friends, they were nice i missed them so much i wanna see them again without him there to be honest.. i dont know what went in my mind why did i invitefd them.. cuz it led to things i really didnt like..

we went to his place with his bestfriend.. he said if we can just chill for a bit.. sure.. chill for a bit.. but yeah that was so.. the most awkward situation ive ever been.. tbh idek why im stilling talking to him after all this...

it is smtg really weird that i dont even wanna think about it.. or write about it.. it made me feel really uncomfy... whats worse is i dont have someone to talk to about it.. cuz its so weird i dont want anyone to know about it.. it was nust very awkward and weird and i dont knwo.. im really still all over the place just thinking about that just typing my thoughts about that makes me really uncomfortable..

so after what happened i kinda detached myself from the situation because i really dont want to deal with it i really wanna run away from it.. i realy wanna drop everything and leave i noticed that im like that i always wanted to run away when things get out of hand.. i dont fight i flight.. i just feel like i can always deal with my emotions alone, i can always think better when im on my own.

anyways.. he felt smtg was off cuz he asked me right away. also i was with his bestfriend at the time and i told her im not ok that i need some time alone and think things. so i really dont know if she told him smtg? but yeah he asked if i was okay.. i said i dont know, can u giv eme more time to think and he said yes then we can talk when im ready.. this was around maybe 7pm on a saturday night.

then around 11:30 he called me.. i dont really wanna pick up but.. i still did.. i was actually busy at the time so i told him ill call him when im done.. i finished around 1am.. then he was still up.. we were in call for like an hour and 30 mins..

idk if i wanna continue.. maybe next post?

#11:41pm #8/7/23

[kondoram]

so since i cant draw anything rn ill instead post my very first experience i had in friendsim

#diemen xicali #friendsim #hiveswap #homestuck #i didnt enjoy it... it was so uncomfy and awkward

[goldenfharry]

https://goldenfharry.tumblr.com/post/677732518244515840/httpsamyrrytumblrcompost677646893523910656i

This is about nicole branch isnt it? she isnt actually a groupie like that i think bc she knows Kacey Musgraves? Through her sister who is known in the industry or something so at most she was a hookup or 2 or FWB situation that happened back in 2020 before DWD happened and she became obsessed with him. She provably wanted more but he didnt. Harry doesnt do groupies anymore its more hookups here and there and with people he knows and trusts these days compared to years ago, i dont wanna be like a debbie downer here bc i dont believe in HO dont get me wrong - Harry has been in the streets during this so called relationship - so PR or not he clearly isnt interested in redacted in that way. Even if there is any chance they ever were intimate i find it hard to believe he enjoyed it at least considering how awkward and uncomfy he seems around her.

(i had to delete the ask for a couple of reasons, but to contextualize it was an ask insinuating that Harry was with a groupie in Florida)

I honestly didn't even thought about her when I read this, I only answered that regarding the whole subject on PR blogs yesterday, not that I actually believe that it happened. Everything that anons say here or in other blogs is a grain of salt, so we can't actually read something and say "oh its true 100%", so I answered "this is more believable than" because we were talking about HO, and for me at this point even Hobama is more believable than them 😂

Exactly what I said, he looks uncomfortable, awkward and barely touches her. So for me, that says a lot! 🤷‍♀️

#anon #holivia pr stunt #holivia stunt #pr stunt #holivia is fake

[mitchelljoni]

okay.. so i may or may NOT have left a message in your inbox a long long time ago before this fic came out but!! your emisue fic????? why am i so late on the uptake?? truly offensive that i have not been rambling about your writing for longer but….. i’m actually here to confess that i might have developed a little (not so little) crush on you. (or your mind?) i hope that’s not awkward/uncomfy at all haha. but i mean, i love how insanely witty your writing is and the sprinkle of things you the author enjoy at random points. like that one email chapter i had to keep pausing to google what the hell kinda references were made (right hand arm man???). and in the new chapter there were so many points where i was cackling to myself in my head, but strangely the one that tipped me over into LOL territory was the line about oglio al pasta (ik my humor is broke k). now it’s almost 1am here and i can’t sleep cause i’m thinking about lines you wrote that are rlly just… like the moment emily steps in and is taking off her scarf and sue notices how beautiful she is. ugh, anyways i’ve said too much & i’m not tryna overkill but yeah, hope you have a good day and I’ll have to add writing skills to my Christmas list buhbye

omg. firstly if u left me a mssg and i didnt reply im SO sorry......i have like weird phases of being REALLY good or REALLY bad w my mssgs so please accept my sincerest apologies, im sure i would have read it and loved it and replied in my head and then forgotten to reply properly!!!

secondly HAHAHAHAHAHAH this is so sweet omg 🥺🥺🥺 def dont crush on my mind i am but a silly little baby with about 2 braincells but like THANK YOU so much???? also right hand arm man literally most iconic video ever fklgjdkgj also loooool i was worried the oglio al pasta joke was too niche so glad u liked it 🤠🤠🤠 and the rest of the chapter/fic!!!!!!!!

this is such a sweet kind and thoughtful message, not overkill/awkward at all, just so lovely to read and i will treasure it very very much. THANK YOU! 🥰🥰🥰

#klfdjlgkjdfg both the right hand arm man joke and the oglio al pasta joke were lowkey easter eggs for my friends lovers etc....... #so to hear that they hit outside of the direct target audience? deeply satisfying #thank u for this 🥺i love it sooo much!! #anonymous #answered #<3

[irkenheretic]

Oh hey- dw abt responding to this bc I just want you to see it (I’m the membrane question anon)

sorry to stir up bad memories like that in what’s supposed to be a fun lil ask game dude :/ it is literally insane how messed up people in fandoms are,, like go outside… touch some grass or whatever the kids say.

I do get curious about how people interpret him because I wrote a fanfic and someone said something along the lines of ‘wow ur version of membrane is a real jerk’ and I’ve been curious since then. Seeing ur point of view was interesting and thank you for answering! Hdjdhdjdhj sorry this is an awkward mess man and that my ask made ya uncomfy.

You’re a really cool person and I enjoy ur content loads. Hope your having a great day and sorry about how many assholes there are in the iz fandom ;;

hiiihi!!! iM sorry for getting super aggressive on ur ask dude 😩 honestly ive wanted an excuse to Go Off about that bcos we kinda agreed to delete everything abt it but in retrospect i was Still Mad so thank u for the oppurtunity to talk abt it

i do think this kinda "softer" interpertation gained popularity after florpus came out partly bc a lot of fans started with florpus and partly because the popular consensus was to make him Good and youd be seen as Not Seeing Things Correctly if u didnt write him this one specific way

and thank u for liking my Content!! we here at irkenheretic llc work around the clock to bring you the FINEST posts such as everything relating to my old college and whichever post has the phrase "control brains metal cock" in it!!!

nah but rly its really easy for me to feel like im just kinda talking to the void here so i appreciate u telling me that u like my stuff 💞💞

#im in a LOT TTTTT of pain rn so sorry if this isnt rly that eloquent or long or anything #my only thoughts consist of 'god someone cut ny leg off PLEASE' #now calling the tallest

[calm-me-down-oh]

How about all the questions ;)

skdsjf ofc u would get me back for that, under a readmore bc theres a lot!

When was the last time you masturbated? Yesterday! Had a.. very hot convo w my gf

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? Uhh the only time Ive had it done to me the person had to stop bc they got uncomfy with it and it was overall just a bit odd,, wait it happened a second time and their nails were too sharp also sdkfhsdh I feel like I could get to like it though? If its like, actually properly done rather than my current experiences sdhfk

How do you feel about food during sex? nno thanks mostly? I guess it can kinda depend on the food though idk, like if my gf suggested somethin I might not mind trying it out depending on what it was yknow

What do you do directly after sex? um.. well afaik just kinda lay/sit in a daze for a moment, mayb have some water, get real clingy, kind of have to be nudged into doing stuff bc i guess my brain just stops working skjdfkj

Cuddle with the tip in? Hell yeah. cuddle with it all in. sounds good.

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? I don’t think I’ve really done anything nasty sdjkfsj all the sex ive had has been quite brief and vanilla idk

Name a follower you would fuck. @you-better-make-me!

Name a follower you have fucked. None..

What’s the sexiest part of your body? Idk man I guess my thighs are ok people seem to like them anyway

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe Am i supposed to know who these people are

Would you ever be with a trans person? i think the real question is would i ever be with a cis person (yes i would be with a trans person i am with 2 trans people and i am trans and i havent dated anyone cis since i was like 15)

Riding dick or doggy style? yes

Ever fucked in a school? Nope

Most random place you’ve had sex? havent really had sex in a random place lmao just beds

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? maybe..? thats having sex on a plane right. idk. maybe

Name three of your spots. what does this mean fkjd

Fuck on the first date? Depends

Do you suck dick? I’m sure gonna try!

Do you eat ass? Idk maybe not skdfjhsjk

Do you eat pussy? Haven’t yet, nearly did, got too nervous sdkjfh

Do you like kissing? So much!!

Is farting during sex sexy? I.. I mean its not sexy but like im also not gonna have a negative reaction. unless its me. that is something im admittedly very nervous about fkjd

Ever fucked in the shower? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Uh............ good question. 19 or 20 i forget if it was before my birthday but within the last year. unless you only count penetrative sex, then I haven’t yet

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Y..yes? I suppose afternoon/night is usually a better time, morning is jsut sleepy and trying to remember how to exist hours

Do you like drunk sex? Haven’t had it but I do get horny when I drink, wouldn’t be against trying it with someone I trust

Do you like high sex?  Again never had it! And I haven’t really been high either so Idk

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll N..none for any

When was your first kiss? I was like 13 I think

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? College

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope. Wait maybe. Kind of. Idk when I was younger I was with this guy who would try get me to touch myself n I hadn’t figured out how to make it feel good so I’d just lie and say I was when i wasnt bc i didnt wanna do it so maybe at some point i said i came when i hadnt sdfhks

Ever painted/been painted on? Yeah but not in like a horny way, my ex would paint on my hand as kinda their way of flirting with me

You like sex toys? Sure

What’s your favorite sex position? Personally think missionary is underrated bc that closeness and being able to cling just sounds v good but also getting fucked from behind face down ass up also sounds,, v good lately

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? beddd, maybe couch, floor just seems uncomfortable

Do you like car sex? Never had it, just seems a bit awkward but I guess I’d be open to trying it

You get instantly horny; what happened? My neck got bit!

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. Kill chris brown. idk who the others are

Describe your crush. Don’t have one!

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? Uh... Idk? I mean, theres preventative measures for basically all std’s right? So as long as those are taken so i dont also get it I guess it’d be ok

Rate your head game. No clue dkfhdsj

Rate your sex. Awkward!

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? ?? yes. what kind of question is this

Describe the type of freak you are. idk what this means but what first came to mind was ‘pet’ so take that as u will

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Sure

Into golden showers? Nope

Body count: Under or Over 25? Wayyy under

How do you feel about nipple play? Uh depends! Not into being harsh like clamps etc just seems like itd hurt n not in a good way, but playing w/ them w ur hands and sucking on them. very good

Where do you like to be nutted on? chest/stomach seems good

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” Idk man dick is dick idc

Is play fighting foreplay? It sure can be!

Do you like angry sex? In concept maybe, in reality itd just kinda scare me

How long should a quickie be? Idk.. quick

How long is “too long” to have sex? Idk sex ends whenever one of u wants to stop, don’t think u can go too long if ur both comfortable with it

How long is “too long” to go without sex? Listen i.. am not the person to be asking this I’ve had sex maybe 3 times spread out over almost a year. i have never regularly had sex

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Incredibly relevant!! Always!! Unless you’ve discussed beforehand that its ok to ignore it and have a safeword in place instead!! and then that safeword is not to be ignored!!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Sure but idk if i could do it

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? mmmaybe....

Would you have sex in a changing room? mmmmmmmmaybe

Who was the last person you had sex with? My ex

Describe your type. Idk I have the weirdest type i think they have like nothing in common then theyll all turn around and be into the same stuff or something its v strange

Name 3 turn-ons. Biting, just making out sometimes tbh, skin contact in places usually covered by clothes or under clothes..

Name 3 turn-offs. Umm. i definitely have turn offs but whenever im asked my mind goes blank. I guess being overly rough, hair pulling im undecided on tbh, and oh i usually dont like having my ass smacked but idk if itd change if it were like.. in the middle of sex

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Bad pain or panicking or it seems like the other person is uncomfortable. or someones knocking on the door for some reason sdkfjs

Would you answer a phone call during sex? no omg

Would you ever pay for sex? Nah.

Would you accept money for sex? Uh. Maybe? Wouldnt ask for it tho

How do you typically feel after sex? Mostly affectionate and good, but w the last person i was with sometimes it seemed like they just wanted it over and done with so i would get kinda nervous and guilty over that,, idk

Do you like your body? Nah

Ever sent nudes? Yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yeah he was abusive

Have you ever been cheated on? Idk, maybe, wait i think the guy i cheated on tried saying he cheated on me too but idk if he was just trying to get back at me so

Would you have a threesome? If I trust the people sure

Would you have a foursome? Same as above

Would you take part in an orgy? Uhh idk maybe, same as above applies tho

Would you let’s train be ran on you? Again if I trust the people yeah sure

How often do you masturbate? Idk it really depends sometimes im really horny and its like daily maybe more than once a day and then sometimes i just dont for like. a while

Sex with the lights on or off? on.. how are u meant to see what ur doing otherwise sdjkhfs

Sex with music or tv in the background? Sure, idc really. Though i have a thing if its like.. kids stuff.........dont do that..........

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? wtf no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhh... good? I mean, good at the time, though like i said sometimes felt a bit rushed, and that now makes sense and i have very mixed feelings on it but mostly guilt bc the person i was with has since said they werent really into it. so.

Do you sleep naked? Nah I at least have underwear on

How often do you go commando? Never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? Nope

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? Uh, depends? Talking about it beforehand or even during can be good though. But i guess it doesnt have to be Right before it, it can be a bit in advance

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Kiss.. touch,, etc,,

Do you make the first move? Um. w my ex i kinda had to bc as i said, i later found out they werent really into it. other than that i generally dont tho bc im very nervous abt all that, kinda especially after that discovery hdfbghf

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Nope

Do you like dryhumping ? Sure

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? Probably not

Have you ever been recorded during sex? No but I’ve had a dream abt being recorded sucking someones dick it was weird

Do you watch porn during sex? W. who does that. how can u focus on that. why would u watch sex when ur having sex skdjfhsjdk

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Never had a one night stand

What’s your kink? Praise! Marking! Collars!

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? I don’t think i could have a hook up tbh so no

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? nope

How romantic are you during sex? uh.. idk havent rly had chance to try being romantic during sex but soft sex sounds v good imo

Describe your sex in 5 words or less. in my experience so far? nervous and kinda awkward

#god rip to my gf when every question i answer abt what its like having sex w me is just 'uh! awkward!' #Anonymous

[dear-seung]

for best birthday boy puppy, part two :)

( ← part one)

“i wasn’t lying when i said that i loved you” (cont.)

[june 21st, 7:45 pm]

you went to meet yongha at one of the cute cafes you found last week for your birthday!!

it has charming little rooftop that wasn’t being used for anything so yongha was able to work with the owner to arrange a little cafe picnic for the two of you to just hang out and enjoy the sunset together uwu

this is your first time meeting up with him since your little...experience on the train

and you’ve been unsure how to proceed with your feelings for him

he doesn’t seem to be any different from before?

his texting frequency is the same

the way he speaks to you is...mostly the same? you think?

there is excessive heart emoji use!!

but he’s always been that way with you so nvm

so you figure he really has no recollection of what he said or he just didn’t mean it the way you interpreted it

or he did intend to say it but is just too embarrassed to admit it being yongha

or he really was just referring to the plushie lol

BUT HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING

you’re still hesitant to bring up what happened because you don’t wanna make him uncomfy or anything like that

so you plan on just keeping quiet and trying to focus on enjoying your day even though your heart still hasn’t settled down !!

but then. u get there

and he’s already set everything up

complete with a bouquet of your most favorite flowers, bubble tea, assorted pastries, and the cutest birthday cupcake just for you

and oh no

he brought the cat plushie along

IS YOUR HEART A JOKE TO HIM

and he’s just sitting there glowing at you like a happy lil pupper and making the plushie’s tiny paw wave! at! you!

and you‘re overcome with adoration for him like actually wtf is this level of cuteness ALLOWED

that right there!! that’s your prince!! your universe

he truly does love you, even if it’s not in the way you hope he does

and you always thought it didn’t matter whether he shared mutual feelings for you because you’d never had a friend who cared so much for you and treated you so well

and that was always more than enough for you

but gosh darn it he’s officially made his home in your heart and there’s no going back and it’s all his fault

but right now you just want to go celebrate your day with your favorite boy without any feelings interfering

so you go sit with him and at first everything feels relaxed like always when you’re with him, it’s nice!! u can do this!! 

u can have a normal evening with the boy who may or may not have confessed his feelings for u not long ago!!

you’re just enjoying each other’s presence and your yummy desserts

and making little small talk here and there about how lovely the skyline looks against the sunset, how your birthday has been so far, and so on

and you’re pretty sure he’s a direct gift from the universe because you literally see stars shining in his eyes when he’s talking

and you start wondering if maybe you should confess to him i mean?

are you just supposed to suffer forever?

hmeck no u deserve some closure!

he started it anyway so it wouldn’t be your fault if it went wro-

wait oh god oh no he’s staring at you and not talking anymore

he can see right through you, can’t he ??? HE KNOWS THAT YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, DOESN’T HE ???

so you look away and start fidgeting with your hands and then yongha just kinda...

takes full hold of one of your hands so softly as though your hand was the most delicate thing on the planet

and ur just ???!!!!!!!!!!!

and he’s just ???!!!!!!!!!!

now he’s the one fidgeting with your hand out of panic but there’s no backing out not now?? he’s gotta say something??

y: “wow your hand looked really soft and YEP i was right haha”

y: “hahahaha”

y:  (;;;*_*)

p: (o_o)

but u noticed he wasn’t letting go 

and you’re both internally screaming 

y: “actually i have something i wanted to ask um,”

y: “i- um- puppy i- you um- did you hear, on the train last week? what i said?”

his ears were burning red and he was struggling to maintain eye contact help him

p: “UH”

p: “i-i think i did if you mean...what i think you mean”

p: “BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AS A FRIEND SO I DIDNT INTERPRET IT AS ANYTHING WEIRD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT HAHA DON’T WORRY”

[embarrassed yongha laughter ensues]

y: “no...really, i-”

y: “i wasn’t lying when i said that i loved you”

y: “i mean...i really love you”

HE WHAT

you’re sitting there trying to process everything while your face keeps getting redder to match his

his soul has officially left his body at this point he thinks he’s RUINED your birthday

if you’ve never heard keyboard smash in word form, well now u have

he has his face buried in his hands as he’s trying to make words bc he knows there’s no getting out of this without elaborating

y: “i just...i had the best day with you and i’d been wanting to confess to you f-for a really long time and i didn’t plan on saying it like that but i wasn’t...fully in control...”

y: “but i know what i said”

y: “i think my feelings for you have become so natural that my heart just...took over and it slipped out”

y: “i didn’t know if you even heard what i said or assigned meaning to it and i didn’t want to make things awkward so i wasn’t going to bring it up again”

y: “but being with you in person again...being surrounded by your light”

y: “i was overcome with the need to tell you that i meant what i said...t-that i love you”

you saw him getting progressively more flustered as he spoke

but he made a point of looking you in the eyes as he spoke which took EVERYTHING he had

but he had never looked at you so sincerely when speaking to you

and you’d never been more endeared by him

y: “but anyway!!!!!!!!”

y: “it’s your birthday so we can talk about that later o-or not! uh, how do you like your snac-”

your heart is just!! so overwhelmed that you can’t even let him finish

you gently took his face in your hands and leaned in to give him the softiest kiss on the cheek

and he’s just (♡_♡) is this real life?!?!?

p: “i’m sorry, i’ve just been needing to do that since last week”

p: “i mean...since i met you, honestly”

now u have truly done it, ~k.o yongha~

he’s overcome with relief!! overjoy!! L O V E!!

u are his ANGEL, u have always been his angel

but his heart is also in absolute shambles !!!!!!!!

so he reacts how he always does when he’s flustered and just starts giggling and covering his mouth GOD HE’S SO CUTE

his laugh is forever the most heavenly sound you’ve ever heard

and the way his eyes turn into crescent moons and his little nose scrunches :’( :'( :'(

he really is your whole! universe! and you can’t believe he clearly never knew

and he feels the same with you like? has he really been that good at hiding his feelings this whole time bc you seemed surprised so ????

but you’ll have plenty of time to talk about your long history of secret feelings for each other later~

right now, you just want to shower your

?! boyfriend ?!

in the love you’ve been longing to give him since day one

so you take his face back in your hands and give him another kiss because how can you resist

and look up into his eyes that are looking back at you so with so much love that your heart can hardly take it

as you finally take your chance to say what you’ve been wanting to for so long

p: “i really love you, too, yongha”

p: “my sweet boy”

[kpophoeposts]

No one wants to hear about my date but I wanna talk about it so I’m gonna.

I met this boy on tinder; I shouldn’t be on tinder in the first place because I know damn well that I have a lot of intimacy issues but I was sad about being single and really enjoying the meaningless attention because I wasn’t getting validation anywhere else. Anyways I met this boy on tinder and we were talking for a few days and he seemed like an absolute sweetheart. So he asked to hang out and I asked if he was getting covid tested every week because in order to attend school we have to and he said that he’s been getting tested so I was like cool and we arranged to hang out at an outdoor mall so that we’d still be cautious. Last night and this morning it was raining but it stopped a couple hours before we were gonna meet up so I was like sweet we’re good but by the time we got there it was raining again. However he’s like my ideal height because I’m short as fuck but he’s not super tall either so we were sharing my umbrella and I could like look up at him a little without it being super weird and him looking down at me wasn’t like intimidating- idk he’s really attractive and I guess I was dumb enough to be like “I feel safe with him”. (That sounds like I’m trying to foreshadow that he did something bad he didn’t) so we walked around a little and grabbed some food but that mall is kinda confusing so when we had kinda went in a circle we were both over the rain and shit so I was like “my bus stop is this way” and he walked me to my bus but it didn’t leave for a few minutes so he left and then texted me like “actually can I come over to your place” and I asked my roommate she said yeah so he rode the bus with me home and walked with me. That bus ride was weird because for a while we were the only passengers so we were kinda just staring at each other. My roommate said hi and stuff and left to do whatever then I turned on some bullshit documentary thing on Netflix because we were just gonna keep talking and it didn’t matter. At that point we’re sitting shoulder to shoulder (not necessarily being touchy but we were touching it that makes sense) and he had taken his mask off but I was still wearing mine and I can feel him looking at me. So I ask like what? why are you looking at me? And he asks if he can kiss me so I had to take my mask off which was kinda awkward but whatever. So then he leans in and grabs my cheek- super gently and sweet like my heart went !!!!!!!!!!!!- but as soon as our lips touched I pulled back and laughed in the poor boys face because I was so embarassed. Obviously I apologized and I told him like “I’m really sorry I just don’t really date or anything so it’s like embarassing idk” but I saw his face change when I said the word date and I was like oh shit so I start going on like “sorry I don’t mean to like imply that this is anything serious I just mean I’m kinda shy with this stuff” and he goes “oh I was hoping this could be more of a friends with benefits thing” and I’m like “I genuinely can’t like I’m sorry but I’m not comfortable with that kind of stuff” and then he apologizes for making me uncomfortable and asks if he should leave and my dumbass is like “it’s whatever you want” and his dumbass goes “well I had no other plans today so I guess I’ll finish watching this with you” so then we both kinda just blankly stare at the documentary that neither of us wanted to watch meanwhile I’m internally like “he’s super hot and I want to kiss him again and I wish I had the confidence to fuck him but I genuinely cant bring myself to do it” I do feel like it probably would’ve been nice because he’s super sweet and whatever I just can’t handle it. Also I’m sure he was there like “shit this was a waste of time” Meanwhile we’re still sitting super close to each other but now it’s uncomfy but if I move he’ll think it’s because he did something wrong but he didnt. Eventually he’s like “I should go I know you’re uncomfortable” and I was like “yeah it’s probably for the best sorry that this didn’t work out the way you wanted it to but get home safe” and as soon as he left I knew I was never gonna see him again.

But before all this I said that the worst case scenario is we never speak again and I’m back where I started so I’m fine. I am a little embarassed though.

#ugh idk I wish I wasn’t so stupid

[queengraciiii-blog]

an open letter to my english teacher

everyone has that one teacher that comes to mind when someone asks “whos your favorite teacher?” mine just happens to be you. first of all, thank you. thank you for keeping my sprits up when i needed it the most. for making learning fun, and making an effort to help me understand when i dont. thank you for giving us students a break when we needed one. thank you for giving me good memories to remember, i dont have a lot of those. thank you for letting me talk about brendon urie all year for two of the amazing hours i have with you, and thank you for listening, and reading and grading all the papers i write about him. thank you for making me laugh when my morning was horrible. thank you for your encouragement. you held to believe that all your students have something to offer. thank you for understanding when i just couldnt give my best that day. thank you for putting up with me and my little side comments in class, i know im a lot to handle. thank you for always believing in me and encouraging me to do my best. thank you for your interest, asking how my weekend went, and if im okay. thank you for caring when you had the opportunity to, and thank you for not stopping. thank you for each late night you spent working and unpaid to get things done for your classes. thank you for accepting a pay-check thats way to low. thank you for waking up and coming to school every morning (well, almost every morning), even when you didnt want to. thank you for always smiling at us and greeting us at your door, (sometimes smiling, lol). and thank you for your constant support you put into us. you taught me many things throughout the school year. you taught me to enjoy the little things in life. you taught me to try and laugh in every situation possible. you taught me to love and appreciate books and writing. you taught me and the class that we can make a difference and to never give up. you taught me to take every chance i get to learn about anything i can. you taught me to never be someone im not and dont ever let people push me around. you taught me to never stop learning or listening. you taught me to not let little things get me upset, which im still working on. you taught me the importance of taking a breath, literally and metaphorically. in your class i learned to be thankful for a lot of things. you offered something many teachers dont, an open ear and genuine support. you always know what to say or do, even when logan scott makes you super uncomfy and awkward in front of the whole class. you are eager to help as many students as you can, and we can all tell you love what you do. second, your classroom isnt just a classroom to me. its like a little safe place for me. im so thankful for the excitement and joy i get walking in, and the wonder i get wondering what were gonna do that day, cause stupid me has never thought to read the planner on the board. i dont get that many places at all. im even thankful for the upset feeling i get at the end of class when the bell rings for my next class. im thankful for everything youve taught me this year, and how fun youve made it. you introduced me to many, many new things. i would have never ventured into new john green books if it werent for your library. i would have never learned its okay to question things i didnt understand. youve helped me with/through many personal problems, and you didnt even know, and i will always be so so so thankful for that. with all these, im also sorry. im sorry for not always giving my best when i can, but i just dont. im also sorry for always falling asleep in class lol, im just stressed i swear. im sorry for not always getting the best grades, when we both know i can do so much better. but thank you for pushing through with me and the rest of the class. i hope that in 3 years, your not struggling to remember my name or face, and youll remember me as much as ill remember you. but in a sea of hundreds of students, ill drown. but im okay with that. its funny how big an impact a single teacher can make in one year of a students life. ive never gotten mad at you all year, except one time over something dumb, you wouldnt let me close the window, and it was freezing. feel special. your the only teacher. sure, you taught me how to study and write, but you taught me many other things, including life lessons. you never gave up on me, or the class, regardless how irritating we can be. (cough cough, logan.) you always took a deep breath and pushed forward. i say you impacted my short 13 years of living, because you did. you are nothing short of phenomenal. actually, ive come to find theres no word in the human language to describe you. i know this letter is dumb, but with the impact you made, i feel that i have to write it now and give it to you now, because im terrified that in the slim chance, i wont get you next year. but please know you are the best teacher that ive ever had in my 7 short years of school. and i dont have many people like you in my life, so thank you.

love, your favorite (i hope) brendon urie loving, purple haired, converse wearing student

#an open letter #to my teacher #english teacher #open letter

[bookworm-2692]

25 31 52 61

ooo this was from three days ago im sorry anyway here we go:

25: Which social science interests you more; psychology (how the mind effects a person), sociology (how society affects a people) or anthropology (learning about culture)? Why?

hmmmmm im really not sure??? theyre all so interesting??? i cant pick. i dont know much about any of them but if you told me something interesting about any of them i’d probably listen w rapt attention i just… idk. sorry

31: What’s your favourite song to sing a long to?

recently i guess om du rör mig dör jag by martin stenmarck? my phone has v limited space and pretty much just has non english songs at the moment (but i need to change it soon im getting bored of it) but thats the song that gets me singing the most? bc it just builds up. but many songs. i love singing along to songs but im just so bad at singing like trust me you do not want to hear me singing (tho you may not get a choice). i actually really enjoy singing along to asapscience’s period table song and the horrible histories kings and queens song??? idk

52: What’s something you thought would be really scary/bad, but was actually fine when it happened/you did it?

ooo good question. i actually think i told you something like this an hour ago or so so therefore ill think of a different one. last year around eurovision time my friend was having a party and the invitation made it sound v formal? like there was a dress code (black and white) and you could invite a plus one? like that just sounded way too fancy for me like first of all i actually had to PLAN what i was wearing and couldnt just look in my closet on the day??? and second of all you were expected to invite a plus one like what??? i remember it was on a friday night (so me and two other friends werent going to netball training for it so there would have been like three people from my team there whoops) and i was cycling home after school w two friends one of who was going (and also skipping netball training w me funnily enough) and another who wasnt. the friend who wasnt going was like “oh are you two going to the party” and we were like “yah” and she was like “i hear these other people who are going are planning to bring alcohol and stuff” and i was like “but its alcohol free??? everyone is either 16 or 17????” and she was like “yeah but theyre gonna sneak it in or arrive drunk?” and my mind was like !!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! and i started dreading going even more like for context this friend had moved schools so half the people there would be from my school and the other half from her new school so i was really starting to worry bc it seemed too fancy and many people i dont know and now the possibility of ppl from my school i barely know coming drunk??? like no thanks too much for me. i remember putting on the eurovision semi final 2 (bc since i live in australia it came out live at 5am that morning) and i started watching and it started to make me feel better but i was still super worried? i remember polands song came on and it was calming me down heaps i loved it (i was so glad it made the final and ranked so high in the televote bc it made me feel so much better) anyway then i went to the party and at first i was terrified but after a few hours i started relaxing and realising it wasnt so bad so i was able to enjoy myself a bit more? still not my style of party but i survived. so maybe not “fine” bc i was still a bit uncomfy but definitely better than i expected.

HOWEVER the year before that some netball friends invited me to a halloween party so i went and the only people i knew were like four friends i was terrified the entire night that one didnt get better i think partly bc i only had four friends and two had other school friends? so only two friends by me the entire night? but the one last year did improve bc i had such a large number of friends so i was able to get more comfortable. note to self for future: bring a large number of friends to things youre worried about.

another thing im worried about coming up that i hope is better than expected is year 12 formal this year. im worried bc im not sure what formal involves? so idk how to prepare myself. also you have to wear fancy clothes? and look good? and girls are expected to wear dresses?? and make up?? idk. also people expect people to have a date to formal or something??? i just feel the coming months will be super awkward and i hope worrying was all for nothing and that its super fun and super chill w friends

anyway wow that was a long answer

61: What question(s) do you love being asked?

oh i dont know. things where i can just talk for ages? like last time when you asked my opinion on aliens and i just kept on going. also when the year 9s had to send out questionaires and one of the questions was like “what is nuclear fusion” and i could just ramble about it bc i had learnt it in ½ physics that year so i knew about it in a fair amount of detail (turns out the year 9 was actually talking about fission, not fusion, so i explained the difference to them). i guess i more just love those conversations where you can talk for ages bc you dont run out of things to say? so not necessarily any particular topic??? idk

anyway tysm for these i love answering questions in general and talking about me haha also these questions let me introspect and learn things about myself? its cool

#ask #thecloudmeister #ty my guy ily

[lifeofaweed]

Remember that lil bit where i was dating that chick and we went to the big city for our 3rd date and i gave her a chance cause we got along good over text and i thought itd just be awkward for awhile tho i did tell her i wanted to go slow? She still makes me feel so damn guilty and selfish and ashamed tbh.

Like first date when i wouldnt hold her hand for an entire movie. Our next date was chill and i thought it was cool. Then when we went to the city i was really enjoying it and her, and was having a great time. I was actually building up to holding her hand. Then she invited her friend and things got weird n uncomfy and i wasnt having fun anymore. And when we drive back she was mad at me that i hadnt made a move on her in the 12 hours we spent together that day, even tho i said slow. And i told her that i did wanna hold hands but then when she ignored me for her friend i got anxious. But i also confided in her that it was a big emotional move on my part and that i had never been on a roadtrip alone, especially such an important one (part was to meet my rabbi) and that it was me opening up and being emotionally vulnerable. And she got pissy and was saying emotional stuff doesnt count and was still mad. And she was driving us in the dark and it was raining, and she had a tendency to swerve. So when she tried to hold my hand and drive one handed i said it wasnt that i dont like her, just felt unsafe driving like that. She was saying how i made her feel rejected, actually she said that a lot. Then later she cheated and sent me a pic with the obvious hickies so i just didnt bother talking to her anymore. Like she just kept pressuring me, and pushing, amd was unrelatable and would always make me explain everything and i couldn't just think of things. She asked if i was demisexual and the it just made me feel so ashamed you know? And even tho we'd had 3 dates and i said i wanted to go slow she still complained to her friend that i wasnt putting out. Talked to that friend (one who she ditched me for on the trip) and when she heard my side she was like jeez no i get you she was being a dick.

Just.. Ugh. I feel so gross all the time. Spent the past couple years with a rep of being a dumb bimbo only good for one thing even tho it wasnt true and i didnt even know those people. And now everyone else is messaging me or wanting to do stuff and i feel bad even saying i dont want to. Im just tired of everyone else having a say in my sexuality but me. Its not funny or selfish or mean if i feel weird about sex or back out or just take awhile. I dont know why i feel so shitty even after a good experience with someone i love. But im just so tired of not being in control whether it be by my hand or someone elses.

Sorry about this im just having a really rough time about my sexuality and expectations and guilt and confusion

[insert-muke-blog]

an open letter to my teacher

everyone has that one teacher that comes to mind when someone asks “whos your favorite teacher?” mine just happens to be you. 
first of all, thank you. thank you for keeping my sprits up when i needed it the most. for making learning fun, and making an effort to help me understand when i dont. thank you for giving us students a break when we needed one. thank you for giving me good memories to remember, i dont have a lot of those. thank you for letting me talk about brendon urie all year for two of the amazing hours i have with you, and thank you for listening, and reading and grading all the papers i write about him. thank you for making me laugh when my morning was horrible. thank you for your encouragement. you held to believe that all your students have something to offer. thank you for understanding when i just couldnt give my best that day. thank you for putting up with me and my little side comments in class, i know im a lot to handle. thank you for always believing in me and encouraging me to do my best. thank you for your interest, asking how my weekend went, and if im okay. thank you for caring when you had the opportunity to, and thank you for not stopping. thank you for each late night you spent working and unpaid to get things done for your classes. thank you for accepting a pay-check thats way to low. thank you for waking up and coming to school every morning (well, almost every morning), even when you didnt want to. thank you for always smiling at us and greeting us at your door, (sometimes smiling, lol). and thank you for your constant support you put into us. 
you taught me many things throughout the school year. you taught me to enjoy the little things in life. you taught me to try and laugh in every situation possible. you taught me to love and appreciate books and writing. you taught me and the class that we can make a difference and to never give up. you taught me to take every chance i get to learn about anything i can. you taught me to never be someone im not and dont ever let people push me around. you taught me to never stop learning or listening. you taught me to not let little things get me upset, which im still working on. you taught me the importance of taking a breath, literally and metaphorically. 
in your class i learned to be thankful for a lot of things. you offered something many teachers dont, an open ear and genuine support. you always know what to say or do, even when logan scott makes you super uncomfy and awkward in front of the whole class. you are eager to help as many students as you can, and we can all tell you love what you do. second, your classroom isnt just a classroom to me. its like a little safe place for me. im so thankful for the excitement and joy i get walking in, and the wonder i get wondering what were gonna do that day, cause stupid me has never thought to read the planner on the board. i dont get that many places at all. im even thankful for the upset feeling i get at the end of class when the bell rings for my next class. im thankful for everything youve taught me this year, and how fun youve made it. you introduced me to many, many new things. i would have never ventured into new john green books if it werent for your library. i would have never learned its okay to question things i didnt understand. youve helped me with/through many personal problems, and you didnt even know, and i will always be so so so thankful for that. 
with all these, im also sorry. im sorry for not always giving my best when i can, but i just dont. im also sorry for always falling asleep in class lol, im just stressed i swear. im sorry for not always getting the best grades, when we both know i can do so much better. but thank you for pushing through with me and the rest of the class. 
i hope that in 3 years, your not struggling to remember my name or face, and youll remember me as much as ill remember you. but in a sea of hundreds of students, ill drown. but im okay with that. its funny how big an impact a single teacher can make in one year of a students life. ive never gotten mad at you all year, except one time over something dumb, you wouldnt let me close the window, and it was freezing. feel special. your the only teacher. sure, you taught me how to study and write, but you taught me many other things, including life lessons. you never gave up on me, or the class, regardless how irritating we can be. (cough cough, logan.) you always took a deep breath and pushed forward. i say you impacted my short 13 years of living, because you did. you are nothing short of phenomenal. actually, ive come to find theres no word in the human language to describe you. i know this letter is dumb, but with the impact you made, i feel that i have to write it now and give it to you now, because im terrified that in the slim chance, i wont get you next year. but please know you are the best teacher that ive ever had in my 7 short years of school. and i dont have many people like you in my life, so thank you. love, your favorite (i hope) brendon urie loving, purple haired, converse wearing student

[sirdidigregorius]

hey quinn i have a question. how do u talk to boys so easily? im a 2nd yr at college &ive never even talked romantically much less kissed a boy and im just so sad all the time bc i know its bc im ugly and lumpy and awk af (and like ugly forreal not haha im uglie) ive gone to a few parties with friends but i felt so uncomfy. idk what to do i cant talk to any1 do u have any advice for a sad girl (but also ur super pretty so im ?? omg) sorry if this is a dumb ive just been having a rough week

AHH okay i have a lot to say so im answering under the cut

idk im not good at flirting i just talk to people ? ive never kissed anyone either dont worry!! really im just floating through space and time and i try my best to be nice to everyone i meet. im really shy so it’s hard for me to just talk to people and it takes a lot of time (or sometimes alcohol) for me to work up the courage to introduce myself.

like w oliver, our dads were co-captains on the soccer team here. i could have introduced myself as soon as i realized, but i was too nervous so i waited and had my dad introduce us at some soccer alumni event. he introduced me to one of his room/teammates, ben, and then i saw their third room/teammate at a frat a couple weeks ago and i was a bit tipsy and felt emboldened so i introduced myself and now they’re all my friends. or this hockey guy, i saw him around a lot but i was afraid to interrupt him when he was working (i see him in the lib most often) but then i noticed that i see him when i go to a certain class. right before spring break i saw a chance and i decided i would never introduce myself if i didnt just go for it so i did and it worked out really well!!

u dont have to go out a lot to meet people--i rarely meet people for the first time when im out!! i just talk to people i already know. i dont really have great self esteem either but im trying really hard to work on that and for me, going out helps me relax and enjoy myself. like i said though, im not good at flirting so i dont approach random guys. if one were to come up to me i’d have to see but im not about that life lmao. im really awkward and also i go to a really small school where everyone knows everyone so i get nervous abt fucking up lmao

part of helping w my self esteem has been going to the gym a few times a week and also changing how i dress. i used to wear t shirts all the time (still do) but i started incorporating things that are more flattering and make me feel better about myself. i also have a good circle of friends and they help me when im feeling bad about myself so that’s good.

all in all i would say to just approach guys in a way that you’re comfortable with. i wasnt ready to go up to oliver on my own so i found another way to meet him. i waited to introduce myself to this hockey guy until i felt like i was ready. and i promise you that you are not ugly! i used to feel the same way and yeah sometimes i still do but i’m changing my attitude. i know it feels impossible but you can do it

if you wanna come off anon and talk to me privately im happy to do that

#answered #Anonymous