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#i do my best to not like. blink v hard. do weird annoying sounds with my mouth
fluttershys-lament · 3 years
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dude my nervous tics are just getting worse aaaaa (in spanish they're called tics nerviosos so i just translated it literally lmao) (and actually they got worse the past year and then just. Stayed like that,,,,, aaaaaaaa)
#i had them since i was 9. and that's almost six years ago now nooooooo#they just started as a single little thing. annoying? not at all. just s veeery little#then i got over it. and after a while new ones started to come until now that i have like#more. i dont know how many but they aren't like three or even four anymore#i mean. they don't always like. ''activate''. just when im in zoom or another place in which i dont feel comfortable#either because im not familiar with it. or there are lots of ppl. or idk#but still it is ANNOYING that everytime a zoom class starts. all my tics are like the ''its showtime'' meme#i do my best to not like. blink v hard. do weird annoying sounds with my mouth#(did you know that you can somewhat fake a fart or sumn with your mouth closed and no hands.#it doesnt rlly sound like that but it's the closest i can think of lmao)#(ok back to where i was)#or even touch an object harder or sumn because if i did it v slightly it starts to annoy me#or if there's a faint sound. it also starts to kinda annoy me and then i want to hear music or something louder#or also pet one one of my plushies to make me feel less uncomfortable. i dont think it rlly works tho but#i can feel my hands wanting to pet sumn and im just ''>:(((( calm down''#all of it stops after a while tho. but what i feel when it happens is annoyingggg i cant stand it#how do i even stop having those tics??? my mum tells me to try and think of something else and do my best to not do em#which i try but it doesnt work at allll#aaaaaa#ok i dont think i should've written a lot but ok lmao
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taones · 4 years
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𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐍𝐒//𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭
Pairing: tanka x gender neutral!reader (afab)
Note: Its 1am this probably sucks
Warnings: Smut (duh), mentions of public sex
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
tanaka is the sweetest and you cannot change my mind that he is touch starved. therefore, aftercare is the perfect opportunity for him to cuddle you and tell you how good you did or the other way round, depending on your preferred dynamics. If he's doing the aftercare, he always has a sports drink next to the bed for you and makes sure you drink it and have come down from your high before he drags you into the shower with him.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
It's his abs. Not to be predictable but they're something he worked hard on and it definitely payed off, so what if he likes seeing the look on your face when you see them?
Ryu is an ass man through and through, he matter the size his hands are all over that thing. Even when you're making out his hands are squeezing and rubbing your ass like it's his personal treasure.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He is lowkey a messy person when it comes to cum, yours or his. He likes yours all over his face and in his mouth sk he can taste you. However, he prefers his to be over your ass or the back of your thighs if he isn't allowed to come inside you (his first choice).
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He kinda likes pain. It isnt really a dirty secret cause it takes him a while to notice but he can't help but shiver and moan when you scratch your nails down his back or bite his neck to muffle your moans. Tanaka even likes pressing down on them to feel some pain when he gets off.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I feel like he has a decent amount of experience maybe a couple of other people but he does research this kinda stuff and tries his best to adhere to any feedback you give him.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Any position he can see your ass in. Just the visual of his hips hitting your ass and it jiggling could make him come so he prefers reverse cowgirl etc. Not picky though, hes Tanaka.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
I feel like its 50/50 with Ryu. He could totally go for giggly sex and a lot of the time it is. If you start laughing about something he'll join in and he even laughs at himself a lot during it too. However, if hes super worked up then it's all about ramming you/getting rammed into the mattress and giggles can come during aftercare thanks.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He probably shaves. If it's not almost completely hairless then it's very well groomed and kept short. Couldn't care less about your body hair, he just doesn't like it on him.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
When he really gets into it, especially when hes about to finish, he gives out more and more praise. This can range from complimenting your body and making lewd comments to straight up repeating goes much he loves you. Apart from that, hes fairly romantic but not really if you get me. He'll praise you but he isnt exactly laying out verbal rose petals.
J = Jerk Off (How often, what are they thinking about, …)
Hes a horny bastard, he jerks off a lot. With your permission, he probably has some photos saved of you that he uses to get off and if not he has plenty of memories of you that he can use as inspiration.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
I firmly believe he is up to trying anything at least once. However, does have a thing for quite literally fucking you stupid. The whole eyes unfocused, drooling and unable to say anything but his name makes him hard just at the thought.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Anywhere and everywhere. Has literally no shame but hes a little possessive so, if you're doing in in public, he's making sure nobody can see you because that's his and his only to look at. This being said, he has a thing for shower sex. The way the water flows down your body makes sure that he is at least a little hard and you can't really take a shower together without it ended with probably a blow job.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
When you wear certain clothes. For example if you're wearing something tight or short he can't help but oggle a lot. God forbid you decided to wear some of his clothes or walk around in nothing but his tshirt and underwear. Tanaka really won't be able to control himself.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Like nasty degradation. He doesn't like anything that could potentially emotionally hurt you, even if you like it. Insulting you, sexual or not, will always leave him with a feeling of guilt and he just can't carry on with whatever you guys were doing
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Now, he likes getting his dick sucked cause duh. However, he lives for giving you oral. Tanaka can and will be between your legs all day if he could and this means face sitting is an amazing experience. His skills are nothing to blink at either, be can get you to be a moaning mess within seconds and he probably gets a couple of piercings just to make that experience better for you.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
With the exception of when you're upset, Tanaka is usually fast and rough. He cant help himself, sometimes you're just too hot and he always fucks you like there's no tomorrow.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He is up for anything, like I said earlier. Plus he's very easily turned on so quickies are a fairly normal thing for you guys, they're not his favourite though because he tends to prefer a lot of rounds.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Like I said before, hes up for anything once. If you want him to do it, he'll probably give it a go! Risks are a thing he's willing to take as long as you're comfortable with it.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
His stamina is no joke. Seriously, he can go for a good 3 rounds before he even starts getting tired. Most of the time, you come more times than him cause you're the main focus so he tries to limit the amount of rounds for you two.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Very basic toys like a vibrator and a pair of handcuffs for either of you. Most of your guys sex isnt actually pre planned so the handcuffs are more common than other toys but he enjoys when he gets to bring them out.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Little shit thinks it's funny to pull away to 'stretch' just when you're about to come. He is in this mainly for your pleasure but he can't help but rile you up sometimes and get you whining.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
I'd say hes relitavely loud. Loud enough that public sex isn't often but not loud enough for that many noise complaints from the neighbours. He can't help but get caught up and start spewing dirty talk in your ear between grunts and low pitched moans and your response usually increases his volume a little.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Let him leave hickey hearts on you! Seriously, he has a thing for it and likes seeing them when you get changed in front of him. It's like a weird possession thing or maybe he just thinks it's cute, who knows.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
I'd say he's slightly bigger than average in length and has a good girth for him. His dick has a few prominent veins that are sensitive.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Higher than average, definitely. Can and will have you every single night if you let him, even after a long day.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
I feel like he gets kinda hungry after sex and his aftercare is kinda long. After your shower, he probably makes a sandwich or something, eats it and comes back to bed after. Might spend a little time talking to you before he's out like a light.
Tumblr mobile likes to be annoying so sorry for any spelling mistakes! Requests are open and enjoy
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echo-hiraeth · 3 years
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Hi! I was wondering if you could write either a peña or pike x agent!reader with “Where doesn’t it hurt then?” Where she’s been hiding direct threats to her safety?
Blind Dates - Marcus Pike x F! Agent Reader
The ending scene and prompt in and of itself were heavily inspired by this scene from “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark” as it’s one of my favourites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFzxuEm9MyM
Prompts:
49: “Where doesn’t it hurt then.”
Masterlist
“Hey, I’m headed out for the night. Think you can manage on your own here?”, you asked, flashing him a smile.
Marcus looked up from his desk, mouth slightly agape. “N-no late-night hangout tonight?”
You slowly shook your head, approaching his desk. “While I’d love to spend the evening here with you, I happen to have some plans of my own."
He raised a brow at you: “Is that what that dress and lipstick is all about then? Who’s the lucky guy.”
“It’s not like that, Pike,” you chuckled, sitting on the edge of the surface of his desk. “Believe me I’d rather be stuck with you all night.”
“Your friend set you up again?”, he grinned, clearly amused over the fact that you were so visibly annoyed.
You threw your head back, letting out a whine. “I promised her I’d let her do one more of these. Fucking regret it though.”
“Oh poor you, having to have dinner at some fancy joint”, he mocked, leaning back in his chair to get a better look at you. “I’d kill for some of that right now.”
“By all means, fill in for me”, you smiled, hopping off his desk. “See you tomorrow?”
He bit his lip as he tried to bite back a flirtatious comment. “Yeah, be safe!”
You gave a small wave and walked out of his office, the smirk on your lips seemingly etched there. Marcus tended to have that effect on you, making you act like some crazed teenager when he’d join you at your desk late at night. But you’d promised your friend you’d go out with the guy she’d been raving about all of last week. So that’s where you set out to go.
Back in his office Marcus found himself extremely distracted. Because no matter how many times he tried to get back to the report he was reading, he just couldn’t get your crimson lips out of his head. Over the course of the last few months the two had gotten much closer, often spending late nights together at the very same desk. He lived for those nights where the two of you would get take-out and just enjoy each other’s company. It was all fine and in good fun until he started to develop these feelings for you. Every bone in his body was head over heels for you, but the fear of being rejected yet again and losing you was bigger than his desires to hold you even closer.
The fact that you were going out tonight made him even more nervous. Surely you wouldn’t just spend the night with your boss? There had to be some reason, some ulterior motive. Maybe you wanted a promotion? Your pay was good though, so it made no sense. Whatever it was, it was absolutely killing him.
As Marcus sat and contemplated every single thing about the past six months, you got out of your cab. The restaurant looked nice, nothing too expensive, just a casual outing. Taking one last deep breath you opened the door, crossing the threshold at last, there was no going back now. The waiter lead you to your table, where you were met with a handsome man, tan skin and a mature little stubble covering his sharp jaw. He looked just over thirty and seemed to be everyone’s dream but yours. It’s only for tonight – you thought to yourself, walking over and extending your arm.
“Was afraid you wouldn’t show”, he chuckled, shaking your hand as he went to stand.
You put your purse on the ground, moving to take a seat. “Got a little caught up at work.”
Well, that was a lie, unless contemplating on how to tell your boss and partner of a year that you had fallen for him. Before you waltzed into his office you’d spent just under an hour in the bathroom thinking of ways to hopefully talk to him about it and maybe even ask him out. But you’d chickened out as soon as you saw him through the cracked door, biting at his fingertip as he was sunken in thought. God, he was so handsome when he shifted in that work mode.
“Wine?”, your date asked, holding out a bottle to you.
“Yeah, sure”, you agreed, shifting your attention back to him once more, something about his face and voice seemed familiar but you couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.
You made some small talk with the guy, finding out that he was independent business owner, what of you hadn’t a clue seeing how you couldn’t stop thinking about a certain someone. Dinner was good though and despite everything you ended up enjoying yourself but no matter how hard he tried, you knew he wasn’t it for you and that there was something off about all of it. At the end of the night he offered to split a cab, politely dropping you off first and parting ways with a kiss to your palm. You’d given him your number as a courtesy, not really expecting him to act on it.
Once back in your apartment you decided to go straight to bed, not wanting to think about it any longer. You were woken up early in the morning by a knocking at your door. Grabbing the nearest hoodie you slipped it on and headed for your front door, opening it to reveal:
“Marcus.. what’re you doing here so early?”, you questioned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
He stepped inside when you moved off to the side, letting him pass. “Well you didn’t text me back last night and I figured you’d appreciate some breakfast”, he reasoned, holding up the bag of bagels.
A content moan left your throat at the sight of the glorious buns. “You’re the fucking best”, you mused, pressing a kiss to his cheek before snatching the bag from his hands.
The morning was filled with soft laughter and a lingering brush of your fingers once or twice. The two of you internally screaming as you went into your bedroom to get changed. Marcus was beaming by the time you remerged, taking a mental note of how beautiful you looked in the early morning.
“You can ride with me if you’d like”, Marcus offered, nervously shifting with his hands in his pockets.
During work the two of you didn’t see much of each other, seeing how Marcus would be briefing to and with his higher-ups and how you were stuck researching the next group of art smugglers you’d be dealing with. You looked through heaps and heaps of paperwork; pictures and recordings. And that’s when you spotted him. That’s where you recognized him from, he was the son of the orchestrator of the smugglings.
You had to tell Marcus, you were fucking screwed if you were right. You tried desperately to get a hold of his phone but he seemed to have left the office early without saying goodbye. That’s when you started trying his personal number, fingers trembling as you stepped outside the building, calling over a cab. You got in without really looking, Marcus finally answering. When you blinked your eyes open and looked to your left you spotted the man, a handgun held in the palm of his hand.
“Hello?”, his voice sounded from your phone speakers.
He gestured for you to put him on speaker and talk to him.
“H-hi”, you answered, voice trembling.
Marcus huffed out a breathy laugh. “Six missed calls, did the office burn down or something?”
You let out a forced laugh. “I-I found a break in one of the cases but I forgot you were leaving for that conference”, you lied, screwing your eyes shut as you focused on not breaking down into sobs.
“I’ll be back by this weekend, we can meet at your place and you can tell me all about it”, he suggested and you could hear the smile on his lips through the phone.
A sniffle broke through as you went to answer him. “I’d like that.”
“Hey what’s the matter do you need me to-“
“Goodnight Marcus”, you interrupted, ending the phone call abruptly.
The man pressed his gun to your temple. “Fancy a second date?”
 You were bound to one of your own kitchen chairs, eyes red from all the crying and pain you’d undergone at that point. The man Jacob Linetti, had been trying his hand at getting all the information you had on them out of you.
“What’s Pike’s next move?”, he asked, flipping a chair and having it land in front of you. “C’mon sweetheart, don’t make me hurt you even more.”
“I don’t know”, you lied, “I’m just his secretary, I just take care of his schedule.”
He struck you across the cheek, making you wince. “Don’t lie, bitch. I heard what you said in that fucking car. Now think again, Pike’s next move.”
“We only just got the case handed to us, we barely have anything”, you cried out, a new bruise already starting to form on your face.
It went on like that for a couple hours until finally he deemed you useless.
“Listen up princess. You will do as your told. Whatever happened here and will happen stays between us.”
You whimpered at his words, entire body shaking with fear despite the exhaustion you were experiencing.
“You call him tomorrow evening and tell him to meet you here. If you snitch on us I’ll slit that pretty little throat of yours and put a bullet through Pike’s skull myself.”
 Meanwhile in his hotel room Marcus sat on the edge of the bed. That call was so fucking weird not to mention unlike you. He’d tried texting you but you once again didn’t reply. He just assumed you’d gone to bed. Well, that’s until you texted him back, at three in the morning.
Hey sorry, everything’s fine, just got caught up and fell asleep in front of the tv xx
He shook his head. You never watched tv, said it was too boring and that the commercials were too bothersome. But having been in the field for quite some time, he decided to play along.
It would be in your best interest not to text back, whether you were in danger or not, he’d wait until the morning and go from there.
You barely slept a wink, the bruises and contusions painfully distracting. Glancing in the mirror you noticed how beat up you actually looked. There was no way you could possibly play that off, so he made you call into work. It didn’t take a lot of convincing, your voice barely above a whisper from the intensity of last night.
His words rang through your ears. You didn’t want to put this on Marcus, you didn’t want him to come over, you didn’t want him to be in danger. But you soon realised that it didn’t really matter you did, he’d end up in the middle of this regardless.
Mind swinging by for a drink tonight?? Xx
His reply came quick.
Course not, see you later tonight x
As soon as he replied you felt terrible. It was a fucking set up and you knew it. But with the other man in the room, you knew you couldn’t do shit about it. Soon he snatched the phone out of your hands, leaving you a sobbing mess.
By that evening you’d been tied down, thrown onto your couch with three sets of eyes glued to you. They’d told you the plan more than once at this point and you knew it word for word. They untied you when one of their other informants texted them to let them know he was coming up. The familiar set of knocks at the door set your adrenaline off and as you reached to open the door you only opened it the slightest bit, gasping when you met his eyes.
You couldn’t think in that moment and just pleaded with him. “Run Marcus! Run!”
“You fucking bitch!”, Jacob snarled, yanking you to the floor by your hair.
Marcus kicked the door open, weapon pointed at one of the other two men. “Back up’s on the way over here, I suggest you drop your weapons.”
He knew he was in a tight spot, he’d need to stretch time for a couple of minutes and from the looks of it, Linetti and his gang were rather impulsive. It was at that moment you felt the ice cold feel on a gun being pressed to the back of your neck, Jacob hauling you in front of him, using you as a shield.
“This is what’s gonna happen, you’re letting me walk outta here or little miss sunshine gets lead.”
Marcus glared the man down, keeping his other eye on the two other men in the room. “I’m sorry pal, but that’s not gonna work out for me. Like I said, back up will be here any minute, whether you’re apprehended here or in that lobby, you’re not going anywhere.”
You opened your eyes, looking over at Marcus. “Please just-just let him Marcus.”
He looked at you for a split second, his heart aching at the sound of your voice. It was then he noticed one of the other men drawing a weapon of his own, without hesitation he shot him in the arm, causing all hell to break loose.
Jacob shot into the ceiling, while punching you in the gut, making Marcus turn his head in your direction once more. It was then the third man grabbed a hold of him, trying to disarm him. It was then Linetti was caught off guard, as you elbowed him in the chest. Marcus was preoccupied with fighting himself free of the other man’s grasp, intent on helping you. Jacob aimed his weapon at your partner and you quickly grabbed his wrist, yanking it away, another bullet whizzing through your small apartment. It was then Marcus yelped, throwing the man over his shoulder, making you look over. Before you could turn your head back around, Jacob hit you on the side of head with the butt of his gun, effectively knocking you out.
That was the last straw, Marcus charged at the criminal, tackling him to the ground as more FBI agents barged in through the door. As the man was pinned down by some fellow agents, he rushed over to you, kneeling down by your side and taking off his jacket to put it under your head.
“She got shot?”, one of them asked.
“No, but call in an ambulance just to be sure.”
When you came to you were laid on a stretcher outside of an ambulance, with two paramedics tending to you. You surged forward immediately, waving the two away.
“Alright, alright, let’s give her some room”, one of them said to the other, taking a few steps back.
You looked around you, noticing Marcus sitting on a curb, a light being flashed in one of his eyes. Your lip started trembling as you tried to call out to him, but you couldn’t manage to say anything, your throat dry and impossibly tight. He looked up and locked eyes with you, immediately excusing himself. He practically ran to you, wrapping his arms around you. It hurt – a whole lot – but you needed him more than anything else in that moment. You hid your face in his shirt, letting out a loud sob. Marcus felt like he could finally let out the breath he’d been holding, rubbing his one hand up and down your back as the other cradled your head.
“It’s alright sweetheart, I’m here now, I’m gonna keep you safe.”
After a few tests back at the hospital you were finally discharged. You’d gotten off easy, a broken nose, some minor fractures and a lot of bumps and bruises. Marcus himself had sustained a cut on his face and a sprained wrist, but other than that he seemed to be just fine. In the emergency room he’d suggested you stay over at his and with some convincing you’d agreed. Since the both of you were in no shape to drive, a cab escorted you back to his.
“Remind me to never let my friend set me up”, you joked as you picked up a spoonful of pasta.
Marcus huffed out a breathy laugh, tilting his head at you. “So you won’t be parading around the office in pretty dresses anymore?”
You rolled your eyes. “Wouldn’t want to keep you from your work.”
Despite it being a playful quip, he couldn’t help but feel a little flustered. “I’m gonna miss it. They suited you.”
Now it was your turn to blush, bashfully looking away as you tried to hide it. “You flatter me Pike”, you murmured, smiling at him with your eyes.
“Want some more pasta? Water?”, he asked, his hands getting more clammy by the minute.
You let out a soft yawn, slowly shaking your head. “I’m okay, thanks.”
He carried your plate to the sink, glancing over his shoulder as you went to stand, a look of discomfort etched on your face, despite the heavy amount of pain medication coursing through your veins. “How about you get some rest, let those painkillers kick in?”
“I’d like that, have a spare bedroom?”, you questioned.
Marcus let out a prolonged sigh. “Well no- but I was planning on taking the couch anyway”, he rambled, gesturing towards the beat up couch with both arms.
You mouthed an ‘oh’, too scared to ask him if he’d just sleep alongside you. “Are you sure? Because I don’t mind.”
“No, no, no! You take the bed, you need all the comfort you can get right now.”
He followed you down the hall, showing you to the bathroom while he disappeared in his bedroom to make the bed for you. You shuffled into the room, a change of clothes held in your hand.
“I uh- I can’t quite change out of my shirt, if you wouldn’t mind?”
His eyes went wide as he looked at you. “Uh, sure.”
It was a little awkward, Marcus requesting you stood with your back to him as he didn’t want to invade your space. It made for a weird angle and soon you doubled over in pain and he got you out of your dirty shirt. He quickly walked around, supporting you, landing him another moan.
“Shit – I’m so sorry!”, he sputtered out, throwing his hands over his eyes as he realised you were in fact topless.
You huffed out an awkward laugh, using the awkward angle to get one arm in the shirt, covering up your chest. “I’ll need you to do the other arm, just make it quick, it’s gonna hurt no matter what.”
He did as he was told, carefully yet in a fast motion (with closed eyes of course) guiding your arm through the whole and tugging it down for you.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you-“, he started after you told him to open his eyes.
“Marcus”, you smiled, “It’s not your fault, I’m black and blue, it was bound to happen.”
He nodded slowly, giving you a once over. “Well, if you need anything else, just let me know.”
As he turned to walk out the door you clenched your fists. “Actually”, you called out, “would you mind staying with me? It’s just that I don’t want to be alone.”
To say that he was taken aback would’ve been an understatement. “Of course! Yeah, just get settled, I’ll get ready for bed.”
You smiled before getting into the bed, biting your lip to stifle any further sounds or indications of pain and/or discomfort. Meanwhile Marcus was furiously brushing his teeth with his good wrist, freshening up and combing through his hair before coming back. He wore actual pyjamas, not wanting to make you uncomfortable by just being in briefs. When he climbed in next to you he made sure to do it slowly and carefully, not wanting to dip the mattress too much.
“How’s this?”, he asked, pointing towards the space between the two of you.
“If I’m asking too much just tell me, but.. do you think you could hold me?”, you asked quietly, anxiously awaiting his response.
His stomach was doing summersaults as he nodded, a grin spreading across his luscious lips. As he scooted closed he noticed the way your jaw clenched.
“Fuck – I don’t want to hurt you though.”
You splayed a hand across his chest as you let him come closer. “It’s okay, pretty much everything hurts, I’d rather hurt in your arms.”
He gave you a curious look, a hint of mischief sparkling in his gorgeous brown eyes. “Well, where doesn’t it hurt then.”
You wiggled your fingers, sighing: “My hands are doing pretty good.”
He took them in his, pressing a kiss to each palm. “Where else?”
The blush you felt creeping up was not to be denied at this point. “My elbow.”
He gently manoeuvred your arm around, pressing a lingering kiss to the skin of your elbow. “Hmm?”
“Here”, you whispered, laying a finger on your lips.
One of his hands cupped your jaw as he leant over you, closing his eyes before tenderly pressing his soft lips to yours. “How’s that feel?”
“Better. But you might need to do it again”, you answered, lips curling up into an adorable smile.
“Say no more.”
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ashtifers-ballpit · 3 years
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I hear you like prompts? Well I am well known for. The List. *unrolls scroll* sick fic, jealousy, fighting suitors, hostage situation, hypothermia, use of safe word, spa day, ruddiger v Hugo
AO3
It’s midday by the time Hugo finally deems his companions worthy of his company.
They’ve been staying at a small estate in Galcrest, with some friends of Nuru’s family who were kind enough to put them up for the weekend.
The last few trials have been grueling--if Varian’s being completely honest--what with the cave of mirrors and the hall of memories haunting Nuru’s nights and Yong’s smiles and Varian’s everything. So a break in what their gang was affectionately nicknaming “the air kingdom” seemed in order.
The first few days go by fine--Nuru drags Hugo out to the marketplace, talking shop about swords and armory to her heart's content, while Varian and Yong scour the countryside and set off fireworks in the clear skies.
It’s exactly what their group needs to get back on track--a little rest and a lot of free time to relax and get to know one another better.
Then Hugo shows up for breakfast one morning and all of Varians’ optimism flies out the window.
“Whoa, are you sick?” Yong says, popping his head out of the pantry. “You look terrible.”
Hugo sends him an irritated glance. “No,” he says and then immediately sneezes. “I’m not sick,” he says, peevishly when they all continue staring at him in silence. His voice sounds like he’s been gargling rocks.
Nuru places a hand on his flushed forehead that he immediately swats off. “You’re burning up,” she says with a frown. “Did you leave your window open last night?”
“More likely that he got it from town,” Varian mutters. He seems to remember a kindly merchant lamenting about his daughter coming down with a spring cold. Dammit Hugo.
“I’m going to heat up some soup,” Yong says decisively, already making a bee-line for the cupboards.
“I don’t need soup.” Hugo literally cannot sound any more like a sulky pre-teen right now. “What I need is for you all to stop ganging up on me.”
“What you need is a doctor,” Nuru mutters.
Hugo turns his scowl on her.
“How about this,” Varian says, once again playing diplomat between his two best friends, “Hugo eats the soup, and Nuru doesn’t make him see a doctor.
Hugo and Nuru continue to eye each other for a moment before Hugo mutters out an annoyed “fine.”
Varian has a feeling that today is going to be an exercise in not dumping his best friends.
____
About three hours into the “Hugo is pretending that he’s not sick” fiasco, Nuru has decided she’s had enough.
“I’m taking Yong to town,” she says, wrapping a scarf around the younger boy. “If the idiot won’t see a doctor, than I’m at least going to get him some medicine.”
Varian, who was the person who had to deal with Hugo throwing up in the bathroom half the afternoon, privately agrees.
“Is there anything I should do?” he asks, not exactly sure what to do with sick people. His dad never got sick and Rapunzel had about a million physicians taking care of her whenever she contracted some illness or another.
“Try and keep him in bed. I also left some tea leaves in the kitchen, if he feels up to drinking anything.” Nuru adds, halfway out the door. “I know you want to kill him most of the time, but it would be most inconvenient to hide his body.”
Varian rolls his eyes. “I’ll do my best,” he says, dryly.
He doesn’t actually plan to antagonize Hugo--let alone kill him. Despite the fact that the blond still manages to annoy him on a daily basis, he’s also kinda friends with the guy now.
They’ve fallen into an easy companionship with mutual banter and annoyed antics that usually have their friends up in arms, but it works for them.
Besides, the guy just looked far too pathetic, dry heaving in the sink this morning, to give him a hard time.
A few minutes after Nuru and Yong leave, Varian makes his way to the room Hugo is staying in. At first glance, the place appears empty--bed unmade, small sitting area absent of life--but after a quick scan of the large room, Varian finds him.
Hugo sits on the window seat. His legs are drawn up under him and his head rests against the wall. The breeze filtering through the open window brushes his hair back from his forehead and makes the open collar of his white, unbuttoned shirt, fluttering slightly.
Something about the sight of him--flushed, exhausted, unguarded--twists something in Varian’s stomach.
“Hey,” he says, voice cracking too loudly in the quiet.
Hugo doesn’t turn his head, but his shoulder inch up slightly. “Hey,” he says back, eyes glued to something outside the window.
Varians’ eyes narrow in on the gooseflesh raised on the skin of his neck. With a sigh, he snatches a blanket off the bed and goes to Hugo, draping it over his shoulders.
Hugo turns his head at that, blinking up at him owlishly through round glasses. “Oh,” he says, like he’s just noticing Varian’s here. Which is concerning. “Thanks.”
Varian shrugs a shoulder, throwing himself on the other side of the window seat. It’s a large enough space--or maybe Varian’s just short--for the two of them to sit without touching. Not that Varian’s thinking of touching him.
An uneasy silence--on Varian’s part, at least--falls over them as Hugo continues to stare blankly out the window. His usually brilliant green eyes are glazed over, enhancing the flush that’s spread from his face, down his to his neck.
He sniffs a couple of times, nose wrinkling.
“Nuru wants you to drink some tea, I think,” Varian says, tapping his fingers against his knee nervously. “I can go get some for you if you wa-”
“It’s fine.” Hugo’s voice carries no intonation. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Varian says, in a very measured voice. The last thing he wants to do is upset the guy right now.
Hugo’s eyes shut. His lips press together tightly, but not out of anger. He looks like he’s just barely holding it together, and Varian doesn’t understand why.
Or, maybe he does. Varian used to be very open and free with his emotions, but over the past few years--since everything in Corona with his dad, the amber, Cass--Varian has gotten used to putting up shields around his heart. Vulnerability was a very scary thing, especially with those you cared about.
Hugo didn’t seem to be the type of person who liked to show weakness.
A particularly chilling breeze brushes through the window. It’s enough that even Varian is shivering at it’s touch.
He reaches out slowly and gently pulls the blanket around Hugo tighter. Hugo’s eyes open at that, watching Varian with an unreadable emotion.
“I think you should lie down,” Varian says.
Hugo shakes his head. “Can’t.”
“Hugo-”
“The bed’s too soft,” Hugo exhales, sounding embarrassed.
Something in Varian’s stomach twists painfully. The year after prison hadn’t been easy, but most of it was just getting used to being able to walk around without having the entirety of Corona’s military breathing down your neck. The other half was getting used to how soft his threadbare bed in Olde Corona felt.
Varian gets it. He doesn’t know Hugo’s story yet, but he gets it.
“Lie down here then,” he coaxes, one hand coming up to cup his neck. It’s warm--too warm. The worry simmering in Varian’s gut flares.
“What, on you?” Hugo snorts, sounding--if for a moment--a bit like himself.
Varian feels his own face flush about as badly as Hugo’s face is right now. “Would it make you feel more comfortable?” he asks, voice pitching up high.
Hugo’s stares at him hazily, the fever most likely getting in the way of his higher processing powers. “Yeah,” he says, looking not quite all there. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”
And then he flops face first into Varian’s lap.
Varian lets out a surprised laugh, one hand going to his hair. “Okay then,” he says, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart.
“Mmphf.”
Varian snorts, coaxing Hugo into rolling over so that he can at least breathe. “Why do I put up with you?” he mutters, more amused than exasperated for once.
Hugo blinks a couple of times at him. “It’s weird,” he says at last. “You’re weird. I’ve never had someone who’s wanted to put up with me before.”
Varian’s hopes Hugo can’t tell his heart just shattered into about a million pieces. “Well, you do now,” he says, easing Hugo’s glasses off his face and delicately placing them on the nearby end table. “You have three people, in fact, who are willing to put up with your dumb ass.”
The blond squints up at him. “But you were first. That’s-” he gestures gracelessly with one hand, “-that’s important.”
Varian smooths his hair back from his forehead, mentally taking note of the amount of heat coming off his flushed skin. “Yeah?”
“Mmm.” Hugo’s eyes close. “You keep doing that. Surprising me.”
“Well someone has to knock your ego down a few notches.”
A ghost of a grin. His eyes open again, almost as if he’s worried Varian has left in the few seconds he stopped looking.
“Hugo, go to sleep,” Varian chides. He runs his fingers through Hugo’s hair again, hoping it will draw him into sleep. “I can continue to surprise you tomorrow.”
“You’re surprising me now,” Hugo mumbles, but he’s becoming more and more pliant with each pet of Varian’s fingers through his hair. “Don’t go anywhere, ‘kay?”
Varian swallows. “I’ll be right here when you wake up,” he promises. “Now go to sleep.”
Hugo’s eyes finally drop shut, breath evening out. Varian leans back against the wall, one hand in the blond’s hair. The weight of the other boy is both grounding and sends strange flutterings to Varian’s stomach that he doesn’t understand.
Hugo lets out a small snore in his sleep. It’s adorable. Hugo’s adorable, Varian realizes, much to his horror.
Another breezes brushes in through the window, setting the white, transparent curtains afloat in the air. Hugo shivers slightly, curling up closer around Varian.
His face is pressed somewhere between his thigh and stomach, one arm wrapped loosely around his torso. Varian runs his fingers through Hugo’s soft hair again and comes to two realizations simultaneously.
Varian has feelings for Hugo. Positive feelings. Fluffy, mushy, fluttering feelings that reside somewhere between his aching heart and the butterflies in his stomach and Varian wants to cry or throw up or maybe kiss the dumb blond until those feelings settle themselves.
Hugo might--a very, very tentative might, because Varian isn’t great at reading other people at the best of times--just might have feelings for Varian. Maybe.
That’s important, he had said, eyes glazed, pupils dilated, lips parted. You keep doing that. Surprising me.
Varian shuts his eyes. Yeah, he’s totally and utterly fucked.
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heartofsnark · 3 years
Text
He’s Not Real, She’s Not Pretending (Johnny Silverhand/OC Female V)
Notes; Sooooooo, I’m posting porn for a game that won’t be out in 20 days, that I just started to seriously look at 2 days ago, but ummmm Johnny Silverhand like fuck man. He’s living rent free in my head both in game and irl. I already have an oc and I really wanted some fuck, so my V is named Aidan, she is a baby and a a slut in this context. This is completely based off oh hey, if we fuck in game, and Johnny in brain, Johnny watch us fuck. And then it spiraled. 
Word Count: 4303
Chapter Warnings: Voyeurism, Unprotected Oral Sex, Blowjobs, Cum Swallowing,  Protected Vaginal Sex, One Night Stand/Semi Anonymous Sex, Calling out the wrong name, MMF Threesome, but like while he gets laid Johnny is like lowkey cucking this guy but he don’t even know cause he can’t see the man cucking him, its weird, metal fingers on clit, like that’s a thing here, cumming on someone/semi-facial???? And the weirdest thing to explain is like, she’s deaf and takes out her hearing aids, so she’ll only hear johnny since he’s in her head that bypasses hearing damage, so like, disability device being removed for sex????? What is this??? Who knows?????
Edit: I HAD A FUCKIN SENIOR CITIZEN MOMENT AND FORGOT TO MENTION; @enchantedbythebidders IS ALSO TO BLAME BECAUSE SHE HELPED PUT THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD, SO THIS IS NOT ALL MY FAULT!
“Really, this guy?” Johnny scoffs and rolls his eyes, leaning against the bar. Aidan is once again somewhat thankful that no one else can hear the long dead Rockstar that lives in her head. 
She pretends she doesn’t hear him either, despite him being the one voice other than her own who she can hear no matter what. The man standing in front of her is attractive, as far as she’s concerned, over 6ft with plenty of muscle and some cybernetics glinting against the side of his shaved head. The alcohol in her system has made it easier to ignore Johnny, but it brings the reason she’s here to the forefront of her mind. 
Aidan needs to get laid, plain and simple. She hasn’t had a proper orgasm since Johnny started living rent free in her head. There’s a certain level of embarrassment at just how easily and maybe even unavoidably peeps on her. He pops visibly into the world whenever he feels convienet, for him that is, and seems to make a habit of making sure she knows he’s there when she’s in some state of undress. Johnny’s watched her change without a hint of shame, making comments on her body and laughing at her reactions, like he’s not the weirdo. He’s sat in the bathroom while she showers, talking to her about plans of burning the city down, like she wasn’t fucking naked. 
Safe to say, she hasn’t ventured into what would happen if she tried to get off with him around. She doesn’t need him making snide comment while she has a hand in her panties. But, with a hookup, another person and a decent amount of booze. She may just be able to distract and loosen herself up enough that she won’t even notice him, though he has a habit of making himself impossible to ignore. But regardless, the former nomad needs this, she’s constantly tense and finding herself horny at every provocation, her dumb sexually frustrated lizard is even starting to think Johnny’s hot which is not a road she needs to traverse. Talking to the ghost in your brain is one thing, trying to find out if his holographic form comes with a dick is another. 
“You do remember I can hear your thoughts, right, Samurai?”  
“Is everything okay? You seem distracted?” The guy, who’s name she’s already forgotten, asks. As if she needed more reason to ignore Johnny. 
“Oh yeah, sorry, there’s just been something kind of annoying nagging at the back of my mind. But I’m good, you wanna get out of here?” 
“Yeah, sounds good, there’s a motel not far from here.” 
“What are we waiting for then?” 
“Ugh,” Johnny groans and rolls his eyes, evaporating into cyan static as Aidan leaves with her bedmate for the night. 
Hands reach up into her bleached bob as the man presses Aidan against the door, his lips against hers, a strangers tongue roaming her mouth. She puts her hand over his, attempting to move it lower, as nice as her hair and face being touched is… This isn’t romance, she wants to be groped, manhandled, to feel him squeeze her ass or shove his hand down her pants. Even at the door before they’ve entered the room, she just wants to get fucked. But he doesn’t get the memo. His hand doesn’t move from cupping the back of her head. 
“Didn’t go for brains, did ya?” Johnny’s voice taunts and Aidan bites down harder on the stranger’s buttom lip than needed, her annoyance for Johnny seeping through her actions. 
Normally, when someone annoys the everloving fuck out of her, as Johnny is so prone too. She’d remove her hearing aids, submit herself to silence until they get bored and fuck off. But, Johnny’s in her fucking head, his voice echoing through her mind as clearly as her own thoughts, the only noise in this world she can’t shut off. 
Aidan reaches behind her, opening the motel door and stepping into it, tugging the guy, what the hell was his name again, in by the bottom of his t-shirt. Kiss broken, she watches as he closes the door behind him, right in the holographic Johnny’s face. If that would actually prevent him from following, she’d be ecstatic. She’s sure he’ll be back in a moment, because he’s never fucking gone for more than a heartbeat. Doesn’t matter, she decides, this isn’t about Johnny. It’s about scratching her itch and cumming. She yank her shirt off over her head and throws her bra after it, whats-his-name, blinks for a moment before his eyes look over her breasts; pale and freckled. It was sudden, a quick cut to the chase, and she knows that. 
“I, uh, really fuckin’ need this.” She admits, face flushing. 
“Hey, no need to beat around the bush then,” the guy laughs, and he has such a pretty smile, she wishes she remembered his name. 
“Fuckin’ hell, you that damn desperate?” Johnny’s laugh mingles with the strangers, now plopped down on a chair in the motel room, “you gonna start humping his leg, next?” 
The chair is positioned just across from the small room’s bed, Aidan and her partner standing beside it, between where Johnny sits and the old mattress. Johnny sits casual, strewn with his legs wide open, at the perfect vantage point to stare dead on at Aidan and what-his-face. 
“You alright?” 
“Yeah, yeah, just that annoying persistent nagging fuckin’ thought,” she grumbles, tapping the back of her head, she’d give anything to rip that fuckin’ chip out right now.
“We don’t have to if you’re-“
“No, no, uh, if you’re still up for it, I really really want this.” It’s so sweet of him to offer to stop and she recognizes that but dear lord that kindness is not what she wants right now. She needs someone to fuck her brains out, so Johnny will leave with them. 
“You’d probably be getting laid more if you didn’t act like a nutjob, you know that?” Johnny cuts in, that too pretty cocky smirk across his face. And he probably heard that too, fuck. 
“Okay, if you’re sure,” the stranger says, pulling his shirt off over his head, Aidan’s eyes following down the line of hair that vanishes into his jeans. She kicks off her boots and starts unbuttoning her jeans, waiting for him to get the message. As nice as his chest is, she needs his dick, like yesterday. In her mouth, her cunt, anywhere, she just fucking needs it. 
“I’d be puking if I could,” Johnny taunts again, but he’s laughing dark and deeply, no hint of disgust, “really had to wind up in a cock whore’s head, didn’t I?” 
He could always leave, she nearly tells him so, but stops herself. Knowing it’d confuse and or frighten her hookup. Instead, she kicks off her jeans, leaving her in nothing but her panties as the stranger starts to undo his own jeans. Her thighs are clenching and she’s already slick. 
“My entire existence is in your head, so no, I can’t help but see your little show. So, if I’m stuck watching it, I might as well have some fun with it too.” 
He wants to see a fucking show? She can give him a goddamn show.  
Stranger drops his jeans, kicking out of them along with his shoes. And Aidan doesn’t hesitate to drop on her knees in front of him, she’s practically drooling as she pulls down his boxers, hearing him curse above her. He’s already hard, leaking pre-cum, and hot in her grasp. She licks up the length the next moment, dragging the silver ball piercing in her tongue along it, wetting the underside with drool. 
“Oh fuck…” 
“Fuck.” 
Johnny’s and the stranger’s curses mingle, she tries not to worry about what the forgotten rockerboy is thinking, why he’d curse like she’s drooling on his dick and not a rando’s. Whatever he’s going through is his own fucking problem, he’s the one who wanted to treat her like his own personal porno flick. She teases her tongue across the head of his cock, licking along every curve of it, then lapping where pre-cum drips out. Aidan gives a moan when she tastes it, trying to convince her bedmate it’s the best thing she’s ever had. And while it’s more a faint bitterness, the mere fact she’s tasting cock makes her insides clench. 
She looks up with big gray eyes, her pick of the night has his eyes closed, biting his lip at the feeling of her on his dick. And then she takes him down her throat, gagging softly at the resistance there as she pushes her head down further. Determination, she takes him until her nose is flushed to his hips. Her jaw aches at the stretch but she ignore it in favor of swallowing around his dick, letting the muscles squeeze around him. It’s hot and heavy in her mouth, twitching in and leaking in her throat. Aidan holds still for a moment, just swallowing and moving her tongue around him, imagining how the length of him  will fit inside of her cunt. 
Then the ache is a bit too much, the need to breath a bit too strong, and he’s murmuring curses as she pulls off of him completely. She keeps her mouth open wide, panting and showing off the way saliva still connects her mouth to his cock. 
Johnny curses and she sees him in the chair from her peripheral, watching with heavy lidded eyes as she sucks cock. She spares a side glance at a shift of movement, silver arm glinting as it catches the light, she realizes he’s rubbing his own cock through his pants. There’s a noticeable tent forming, which may answer a previous question… Her face goes brighter red, but she pushes through, this isn’t about Johnny or at least it shouldn’t be. 
And she’s back on the stranger’s dick, sucking him off in earnest as she bobs her head up and down the length of him. Never quite as deep as the first swallow, but she moves as far down his cock as her new pace will allow. Occasionally feeling the head teasing the back of her throat. Fingers entangle with her hair as she reaches a hand to play with his balls, squeezing and massaging them, his groans have gotten louder, testicles drawn tight. He has to be close, she wants her reward for a job well done. 
“I’m gonna cum…fuck…” He warns and she pulls back for a second, gently clenching the base of her cock between her fingers to help stop him from shooting his load right that minute. 
“You want to cum on me or in my mouth?” She gives him his options and he whines, she expected to be the one tossed around and fucked raw, but it’s becoming more obvious she picked out a guy who’d rather be bossed around a bit. Even if it’s not what she was looking for, she’ll take it, happily. 
“Can’t fuckin’ think right now,” he groans, “just wanna cum, please.” 
“On your face and tits,” Johnny says, low and husky, making it clear he has no trouble making a choice. Though, judging by his cock still being tucked away in his leather pants, he’s not quite as cum-brained as her hookup. 
And after a moment of considering Johnny’s request, Aidan wraps her lips around the man’s dick and gives a hard suck, letting go of the pressure around him. He groans as he cums directly down her throat, hot heavy spurts of it on her tongue. She swallows every last drop, not letting any of it touch her face or chest. 
“Bitch.” 
She swallows the last bit, grinning at Johnny’s insult, as she strokes the stranger through the last of his after shocks. Aidan stands up, she’s still in her panties, now soaked through with slick. She turns to face the bed, her ass now to Johnny and her hookup, allowing them a view as she purposely bends over to peel her panties off. Allowing both men to see her slick aching cunt; panties in hand, she turns back to face them. And she tosses them at Johnny with a devious smirk, to the unnamed stranger, she threw them to empty chair. But her and the ghostly anarchist, within their own reality that exist merely due to a chip in her head, her panties landed in his lap. His hand grabbing the wet black silk and wrapping them around her fist. 
She’s not sure how it works, far from a techie in her knowledge, but she can see him interact with objects. From smoking cigarettes to leaning his weight against whatever he sees fit, after all if he couldn’t interact with anything in the physical world he’d phase through the chair, floor, and everything around them. But to everyone else it’s not seen, the objects just laying flat and useless. 
The stranger’s hand grasps her hip, in her personal space within the moment, having stroked his cock back to full erection. 
“Want me to return the favor?” He offers to eat her out and she’s surprised at the heat that rushes up her cheeks, despite just slobbering on his cock the question makes her blush. 
“Let him do it,” Johnny says with a drawn out groan, her panties still in his hand as he undoes his belt and pulls his cock out, “wanna see you get licked.” 
Would have though he’d have learned by now, she’s not interested in fulfilling his requests. 
“Fuckin’ really,” he curses out at the thought, realizing he won’t get what he wants from her and he can’t do anything about it. His voice is edged and sharp, a hint of anger. 
“Appreciate the thought, but I need you in me, bad. That okay?” 
“Sounds good, I got a condom in my jeans, give me a second.” He starts to rifle through his abandoned jeans and jacket, Aidan clenching her thighs as she waits, she’s finally about to get what she needs most. 
“He’s not gonna fuck you right.” 
She tries hard not to audibly groan at Johnny’s words or watch the slow drag of his hand over his cock. Then she notices the black fabric he presses against himself, using to jerk himself off, her panties. Aidan likely deserves that, but she’s more distressed over the way it makes her insides clench than worries of the fabric. Though given what he is, she’ll probably find them virtually untouched later. 
“I’m serious, Samurai, he’s not gonna give you what your after. He’s too soft for you, can’t fuck you the way you need.” 
Shut up, Johnny, she rolls her eyes letting the sentiment ring out in both of their minds. 
“Got it,” her date, if you can call it that, returns with condom in hand, she takes it from his hand. 
“Lay back on the bed, I’ll take care of everything,” she tells him. 
“Yes, ma’am,” he says and god if she wasn’t so desperate the words could have dried her up quicker than the Sahara. Even when she wants control, that is not a nickname she cares for. Johnny laughs when she wrinkles her nose. 
“Told you so, ma’am.” 
“Don’t call me that,” she says to both to her hookups earnest slip up and Johnny’s condescension. 
“Sorry,” her hookup offers as moves to straddle him, her back to his view. 
“It’s okay, we’re strangers, don’t know everything about each other.” Her voice is a little kinder as she rolls the condom down his length, listening to the little inhales of air as he feels her touch. 
“Hmmm, wouldn’t be nicer with someone who does, someone who knows it all, someone in your head.” Johnny has moved, zipped, to stand at the foot of the bed. So, he can watch her more clearly she assumes. His cock and her panties are still in his hand. 
She ignores him, instead moving to hover over the stranger’s cock, letting the head just tease her slit open. Aidan whimpers and whines, unable to help it at the feeling of being stretched open as her weight comes down slowly onto his dick. Inch after inch sliding into her, pressing at her deepest parts. Despite some kinks misaligning, he fits nicely inside of her, helping scratch the itch. 
“A nice dick don’t mean anything if they don’t know how to use it,” Johnny taunts again, his gaze is hot on her skin, “I know everything you’ve been wanting, everything that you dream of that gets you going and makes you whimper, and I know for a fact this guy isn’t gonna give it to you.” 
‘Fuck off’ she mouths the words, despite knowing he can just hear her think them, she starts to bounce herself on the stranger’s cock, chasing her pleasure as she fucks herself on him. But she doesn’t miss how Johnny starts to stroke himself faster, nearly matching the pace she’s set for herself. 
“Might as well be ridin’ a toy. 
“Fuck… you feel so good,” the man beneath her groans just as Johnny starts to mock his prowess. 
“Good? That’s all he’s got is good?” 
“Fuck…” 
Aidan closes her eyes, trying to shut out the image of Johnny if nothing else, while both men’s voices ring out, audible even over her own whines of pleasure, she tries to focus on how good it feels to finally be full. Bouncing her ass harder as she rides the stranger’s cock, hoping somehow the smack of flesh against flesh, the creak of a bed could drown them both out. 
“Bet your tight, a wet little vice wrapped around his cock.” 
“Fuck…faster please…” 
“He’s probably already close, feeling the way you stretch around him, watching the desperate little way you fuck yourself on his dick.” 
“Hnnnn, fuck..” 
The two men’s voice go back and forth, a mess in her head, an overwhelming mess where Johnny’s words edge her further but the noises of her hookup stir up guilt, how could she get off to him being shamed? How could she get off on Johnny’s taunts and teasing, why does every word he say stoke a fire deeper inside of her, make her wetter, and push her closer to edge. While the man she’s actually fucking only seems to set her back on that journey.
Johnny isn’t real. She tries to tell herself, not physically, he only exists to her. Aidan should focus on what real and here and beneath her, but everything draws her back to the phantom in her head.  
Despite how close she is, she can’t cross the precipice, a wall built up in her core that won’t let her cum. That tension in her stomach refuses to snap, refuses to allow her the pleasure, the rush of endorphins, she’s been so desperate for. She fucks herself up and down as hard as she can, the smack of skin hitting skin echoing, and she’s sure she’ll bruise herself in her desperation. Tears of sheer frustration build in her eyes, why can she just fucking cum?
A hand cups her face, flesh and warm, vaguely slick with sweat or precum, she doesn’t know. But Aidan opens her eyes, looking straight up at Johnny. His dark brown eyes look down at her, dark hair falling into his face. 
“Take out your hearing aids for me?” For once his voice comes with a little upward inflection, insinuating a question and not a demand. 
“Huh?” 
“I want to be the only thing you hear right now.” 
And this time she listens, throwing one quick look over her should at her hookup, his eyes closed and head tossed back in the pillows, lost in the feeling of her around him; Aidan gently pulls out her hearing aids and the world goes quiet. No more sounds from him, not even the faint whirr of the fluorescent lights, or the slap of flesh. 
“Good girl,” Johnny says, his voice ringing out as clear as ever, for it comes from her own brain. The praise makes her clench and whimper, the kind of attention and names she likes best. He leans his forehead to hers, his hair tickling her face. 
He’s not real, but he feels real. She feels his skin, hears his voice, can smell the cigarette smoke on his breath. And she feels metal fingers, cool as they pushing against her slick cunt, finding her swollen clit with ease. She whines, as he rubs her, stroking friction against her nerves. 
“So fucking wet, you’ve wanted my hands on your for a while, haven’t you?” He teases, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. 
“Yes,” she lets him hear it in voice and thought. 
“He may be inside you, but I’m the one who’s gonna make you cum, you got that?” 
“Yes, yes, fuck, please,” she whimpers, fucking herself and grinding against Johnny’s fingers. Every bounce and rub of his fingers pushes her closer to the edge. 
“Who’s gonna make you cum?” 
You, Johnny. She thinks but doesn’t dare say it, for fear of the man beneath her hearing, even in the throes of pleasure, she needs to be rational, Johnny isn’t real and if she starts screaming the name of a ghost while she cums… 
“Say it, out loud,.” His fingers slow their movement, nearly stopping their motion altogether, his threat clear and she fucking needs this. 
“Johnny!” Another hard rub before she’s finished the first syllable and his name becomes a scream, the tension snaps, the bubble of pleasure pops, and she’s overwhelmed by her pure euphoria. Toes curled and squirming she finally finds her release, cumming around the man inside of her, mind going blank for a moment.
Then the fog in her brain starts to lift, aftershocks coming and going, she can feel the condom bloated with cum inside of her…. Johnny is laughing, chuckling a rich and warm sound, and oh god she said his name. 
Aidan puts her hearing aids back in, clenched in her sweaty fist this entire time, trying to do so quick enough that it isn’t noticed and she can catch anything he may say. 
“…ohnny?” 
She catches the very end of it and oh no, oh no. Johnny’s still laughing. 
“Hmm, didn’t quite catch that, something wrong?” She tries to act nonchalant, like she just missed it, as she pulls herself off his cock. The emptiness makes her whine, but she may need to detach herself from this situation as soon as possible. 
“Who’s Johnny?” He asks again as she turns to face him on the bed, the stranger’s eyebrow raised. He doesn’t seem mad, just genuinely confused. 
“Yeah, who’s Johnny?” The old rockerboy says, smirking and how he can look so cocky with his dick still hard and out, she has no idea. Why is she even thinking about his dick, she catches herself, that’s oh lord. 
“Uhhh, why do you ask, who said anything about a Johnny?” 
“You did, loudly, while you came.” 
“Uhhhh….” 
“He got you there.” 
“Look,” the guy says, smiling kindly, “like, if you’re hung up on some other dude, it’s cool, like you said, we’re strangers. But, uh, if you’re thinking that much about this Johnny guy, you should probably just like talk to him about it.” 
“I’m not hung up on, Johnny, I assure you.” 
“Hmmm, debateable,” Johnny taunts and she’s gonna rip this fucking chip out of her brain if it kills her. 
“Say what you want, but I clearly wasn’t the guy on your mind tonight.” 
“Hard to compete with the guy who’s in her mind.” 
“Uh, yeah, I guess, sorry…” 
“No worries,” he says and she’s continuously thankful he can’t hear Johnny’s snide ass remarks, “I’m gonna grab a shower then head out, rooms already paid for if you wanna chill here.” 
And her one night stand gives her a friendly tap on the shoulder, like they’re bros and his dick wasn’t just inside of her, then heads to the motel bathroom. Aidan collapses on the bed, face flushed and struggling to accept the mess of a night. 
Then a weight settles over her, Johnny suddenly straddling her sternum, knees on either side and pressing into the bed before he sits his weight fully on her. His cock is still hard and leaking, has been the entire time, now smearing precum hot into her skin. 
‘The fuck are you doing?’ she mouths, glaring up at him. 
“What no love for the guy you’re so hung up on?” 
The shower starts up in the background, which should block out the sound of her talking to the ghost currently stroking his dick over her tits. The head flushed red and his pace quickening, he’s been shifting pace back and forth this entire time, no doubt he’s close to bursting. 
“I fuckin’ hate you, you know that?” 
“I know for a fact you don’t,” he groans beneath his breath, as his cock twitches in his hand, “besides, told you where I wanted to cum.” 
“Y-Ahh!” 
He curses beneath his breath and she yelps as it hits her, cum splattering across her chest and face. It certainly feels real, hot and thick across her breasts and chin, salty when her tongue swipes away a drop that hit her lip. But no one else but her and him would ever be able to even see it…  
Images of being able to walk around Night City filled and covered in his cum, with no one else even knowing flicker across her mind. 
“You’re not even pretending to hate me anymore, are you?”  He’s grinning wickedly, face flushed beneath the dark scruff of his beard, long hair sticking to his forehead. And she can’t find in her to disagree. 
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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years
Text
The blame game
@sanderssides-secretsanta for @averykedavra
Rating: PG
Pairings: whatever you want. Any actions can be read as platonic or romantic I’m not telling you how to enjoy this fic. Aka I couldn't pic.
Hurt comfort
Triggers: hospital, injury, pain, burns, coma, mention of abduction
Summary: A couple of years ago people disappeared. And then months later they started showing up again. Some escaping, some being freed. No one knew what exactly went on in those months. All evidence was destroyed before answers could be found and the victims were unwilling to testify. Until one group, the first to break free, showed up when a building collapsed and used incredible abilities to save the day. They spoke out about what had happened, and swore themselves to serve and protect the public interest.
Time went on and now the victims that all had gained some type of power are accepted into society. The team is still doing what they can to save others and protect each other. This story takes place during what should've been a routine mission.
“We have to finish up. Under current circumstances we have 3.4 minutes until the building collapses.”
“I did a sweep, I didn’t hear anyone calling out and no heartbeats. Pat can you feel anyone?”
“No kiddo, it seems all clear on my end too.”
“Marvelous. Jan how is our cover holding up?”
“I’m fine Roman. I can hold it for a few more minutes.”
“Remus do you have yourself together?”
“All bits and pieces accounted for Bro! Though Jan can always check later to make sure.”
“And that’s enough. I’m taking you first.”
“Virgin! So forward!”
“If you upset him Remus, I swear to god!”
“Relax RoRo…”
“I’m back. Come on popstar. They are getting closer, we have to hurry.”
“Maybe take Lo first… If I’m too far I can’t…”
“It’s just for a minute Padre.”
The connection fell away. Indicating Virgil had indeed brought Patton out of range.
“Two more minutes,” Logan stated as he joined Janus at the street side of the shop they were hiding in.
“I am sooo glad the looters came to cause extra chaos. I was just thinking that evacuating the citizens from earthquake shaken buildings wasn’t enough of a challenge,” Janus grumbled annoyed.
“We shall deal with them once we are all outside,” Roman assured him as he too joined them.
“Next passenger please,” Virgil announced as he came to a halt right behind Roman, making him jump.
“Stop doing that!” he demanded.
“Only if you stop being funny when I do,” he teased while picking up Logan.
“This never seizes to be mildly embarrassing,” Logan huffed displeased. Being carried out bridal style by their youngest member was a little awkward for everyone. Well except for Remus. But he wasn’t bothered by anything. “Do you prefer a piggy back ride?” Virgil teased.
The circumstances that led to the formation of their team had been far from pleasant. Virgil especially still had nightmares and flashbacks. But they all enjoyed the power sets they were given. Though if they could choose they’d do without the trauma. The only thing they wouldn’t give up for that was each other.
“And you all secretly like being held,” Virgil insisted before taking off. Roman and Janus exchanged a glance wondering if Virgil was just teasing or if he actually could tell that they appreciated the rare opportunity to have Virgil actually welcome physical closeness.
They all were pretty close after everything. And any awkwardness about being emotionally vulnerable around one another had gone out the window long ago. Still Virgil felt the need to act tough to make them not worry about him. It didn't work, but he still tried.
“I better get going. I’m not fond of Logan’s ticking clock,” Roman stated.
“Yeah, I’ll give us a little more cover. V only needs 10 seconds to get me out anyway.” Jan didn’t want to risk the rioters seeing them now. There was no telling what they’d do.
Roman nodded and started to sprint to the exit.
Janus turned away, but then his heart stopped when he heard a crashing sound and a pained outcry.
“Roman!” Virgil gasped behind him.
“I’m fine, get J. I’ll-” Roman cut himself off with a loud curse.
“You hurt your ankle,” Virgil concluded. Janus looked back and watched as the young hero gathered Roman in his arms. “J I’ll be back for you soon okay?” He didn’t wait for an answer.
Janus considered just dropping the illusion of an empty trashed store with faulty wiring and make his way to the back to meet Virgil halfway. But the rioters were hot on their heels now. He couldn’t risk anyone following them. Not that anyone would be able to once Virgil had him. But if anyone was inside when the building gave out…
Suddenly something flew through a window. A flaming bottle? Janus could see it heading to an isle with cleaning products. He realized what was about to happen at the same time that he saw Virgil return and hesitate upon detecting something moving in his peripheral.
Janus acted without thinking. He dropped the illusion and tackled Virgil to the ground.
Janus moved to cover Virgil’s body with his own. There was an infinite fraction of a second of blinding pain. He never even registered the sound of the explosion. Just pain and then darkness.
He heard the murmuring and the zooming and beeping of machines. He felt disoriented. What happened…?
“Come on J. Please wake up,” Patton? He sounded like he’d been crying.
“Patton I… I don’t think…” Logan’s voice. Not quite as steady and certain as he normally sounded.
“Don’t finish that sentence! He has to wake up! I don’t know what we’re supposed to do if he… If he…” Patton started sobbing, the sounds muffled by something. That wasn’t right. Janus tried to open his eyes but it was hard.
“I can’t… We are supposed to stick together… and he… And then Virgil…”
Virgil? Suddenly Janus remembered. No. Virgil had to be fine. He made sure of that right?
Janus forced his eyes open and found Patton clinging to Logan’s frame on his right. Remus sitting uncharacteristically quiet and still behind them.
He blinked a few times. Something was off. His sight… And why did his face feel weird… Everything felt weird.
“Hi,” was all he was able to force out of his throat.
Remus perked up, Patton and Logan nearly jumped at the unexpected sound. All of them had bloodshot eyes. He’d expected as much from Patton. He was in a hospital and something was going on with Virgil. But it took a lot for Logan and Remus to cry.
“Janus,” Logan breathed as they all gathered at his bedside. Logan grabbed his hand to squeeze it. Janus squeezed back and felt Logan relax instantly.
“Wha…” Janus tried, hoping he managed to bring across the pleading tone he intended despite the pain in his throat keeping him from saying much.
“You’ve been unconscious for the past month. There were several operations and you have only been breathing on your own for the past 21 hours and 28 minutes.” That explained the pain in his throat.
“Pat? Eyes…” he asked. He was burned. He was no idiot. He just wanted to know how bad and Patton could show him.
“I don’t know Jan…” Patton bit his lip looking at Logan for help. Their academic friend nodded in agreement.
“There is… Someone like us on staff. We were to alert her once you’d awoken so she could heal you up some more. It is probably best not to distress you until she has,” Logan urged.
So it was really bad. “Call…” he managed. Maybe then he would be able to talk better afterwards.
“Very well…” Logan pressed a button.
“Re… V…” Remus didn’t do sugarcoating. He would tell him no matter how bad…
“Roman is watching the Emo. We’ll all go to see them together soon,” Remus murmured. Now Janus was getting really worried. What was going on? Remus was never this… restrained.
“Remus. We have all repetitively told you, you did not delay Virgil in any way,” Logan insisted sternly.
“Yeah Rem. None of us think you did anything wrong that day. And I’m sure Jan and V would agree.”
Wait, why hadn't. Virgil told him to stop moping yet? Why wasn’t he here? Why did he need someone to watch over him?
“I should have sat still. I knew we had little time left. Instead I made Virgil slow his step to make sure he didn't drop me.”
“We all delayed him in our own way Remus. It was a collection of circumstances. If anything, I should have taken the violent nature of the rioters into account and adjusted my timeframe accordingly.
We all relied too much on my prediction and…”
“Don’t you start that again. I could have tried to get a feel of the crowd and told you. Then you might've known there was a risk too consider!” Patton protested.
“Patton you couldn’t have possibly…”
“It’s my job Lo! I should look after all of you guys. I’m the one who keeps us happy and together and now everyone is sad and… and…” Patton was shaking with sobs again. Only now did Janus remember that when Patton was tired (physically or emotionally) his empathic ability played up without him wanting to. His telepathic link on the other became much harder to establish under such circumstances. Which meant that while Patton couldn’t find comfort in linking with the others, his usual coping tool for anything bad going on, he felt his own feelings on top of everyone else’s unfiltered.
Logan seemed to realize this too. “Patton, I’m sorry. I should have realized. You need not burden yourself with our guilt as well as your own. Please, please forgive me this oversight?” he asked with a comforting hand on Patton’s shoulder, the other still holding Janus’.
Patton gave a small tired smile. “It’s not your fault Lo… You guys don’t have to repress your own feelings just for me. We are all a bit stressed out and…”
“Pardon me?” Everyone immediately looked to the door. Well everyone except Janus who couldn’t turn his head very well. But he got there.
His left eye still was not right but he could discern a figure at the door. Hopefully this person was the one who could get him out of this bed so he could finally get answers.
“Ah. Doctor Laffeye. Thank you for coming. As you can see Janus has woken up. Could you…?”
The figure came closer and seemed to look down at Janus.
“Hello. Elena Lafeye, she/her… Your eye isn’t doing so well it seems.” She sounded kind and disappointed by her observation. That wasn't good.
“No See…” he croaked.
“And your troath probably feels pretty painful too. I’m going to do my best to help the healing process along. But I find that I get the best result in several sessions rather than one go. You just tell me when it starts to feel painful. That might indicate that I am rushing some stitches or something like that. Sometimes the body just protests being forced to heal. It is important that you are honest, or it’ll be worse in the end okay?”
Janus felt frustrated, what was the point of a healing ability if it couldn't get him back to normal right away? But, if he could get well enough to get out of the room to wherever Roman and Virgil were... Then that was enough right?
“Kay,” he promised.
“Good. I have told this to your friends, but I’ll repeat it to you. Thank you. For speaking out about it all. You guys make life much easier for the rest of us. Thank you.”
Janus thought she sounded sincere, but he could not see her face clearly enough to be sure.
“No prob…” No, that was as far as he got.
“Top to bottom then,” she said. It was not a question.
Janus expected Remus to laugh or make a joke, but he didn’t and that was terrifying. Did he really feel that responsible? Or did he look so terible that even Remus couldn't make light of the situation?
“Here we go.”
It started with a light tingling sensation in his left eye. It became warm and then it was kind of like a static… “Stop,” he croaked as he forcibly shut his eye when the first sting occurred.
When he opened his eye though he could see improvement. It wasn’t as sharp as he was used to. But he no longer felt like he was half blind.
“Wow, it looks a lot better!” Patton exclaimed, probably trying to assure Janus. Sadly Janus could only think about how Patton didn't say he was back to normal.
“I am going to focus on your face now,” the doctor warned and the tingling started again.
“Stop,” Janus rasped again when it started to feel like a web of glowing hot wires was put against his skin.
“Okay. I’ll move on to your throat. This shouldn’t hurt as much considering most of the trauma from the accident has healed on it’s own. Any damage left now is from the breathing and feeding tube. This is just to make you more comfortable with speaking.”
This time the doctor stopped before Janus got even a little uncomfortable.
“How’s that?” she asked.
“Well…” That didn’t hurt. “Better. Thank you.”
“Good. Now… Let’s see if we can get you well enough to leave the bed alright? I’m sure you’d like to check in on your other friends as well.”
Yes! Please, let me see them. “Okay.”
The doctor took in a deep breath and the warm sensation kept traveling up and down the left side of his body. From his fingertips to his shoulder, through his torso, down his leg to his toes and back.
Up and down, over and over again.
“S… Stop please,” he gasped when the warmth started to burn.
“Okay… how does that feel? Can you try and sit up?”
Janus blinked. Right, he’d stayed put so far. To be fair even moving his head had been exhausting a few minutes ago.
“Um… Yeah,” he murmured as he carefully moved his arms. His left stung a bit, but it was manageable. He’d deal with it if it meant they’d go to see Virgil.
“Carefull Jan!” Patton pleads as he frantically flayed his hands around wanting to push him down but scared to touch.
“It’s alright sir. I think he’s got it,” the doctor stated soothingly. Once Janus sat up the doctor nodded satisfied and left with the promise of checking on them again in an hour.
“Patton. Will you show me now?” Janus asked as soon as they were left alone.
“I…”
“Please. I need to know,” he pleaded. He could feel something wasn’t right with his body. He was too much of a coward to simply look down though. He told himself he wanted to see the full picture. That he wanted to see what the public would see when he inevitably would be swarmed by reporters. But honestly, he hoped that if he looked through Patton's eyes he wouldn't hate what he’d see as much.
Patton once again turned to the others. Remus squirmed, avoiding his eyes. Logan sighed and squeezed Patton’s shoulder, encouraging him to turn to him.
"He will only get more stressed by not knowing. We can hardly keep him away from reflective surfaces. Best he sees it when he has a chance to mentally prepare." With that Logan's steady gaze directed itself towards Janus.
"You were burned on the entire left side of your body. There were many skin transplants performed to help save your life. Are you really ready to see yourself?"
Janus wasn't sure if he was. But he knew he had to see.
He gave them a firm nod.
Patton sighed resigned to the decision "Ok... 3, 2... 1."
Janus struggled not to scream out in horror. The man he saw trough Patton's eyes wasn't him. The left side of his body was an awful patchwork. It couldn't be. And this was after accelerated healing?
"Is... is this why Roman and Virgil aren't here?" he asked with a shaking voice. He wasn't sure how he'd feel if the answer was yes.
"No! No of course not!" Paton exclaimed. It should have been a relief. But if they weren't avoiding him...
"Then... why? What happened?"
Silence filled the room.
"Patton was linked with the rest of us," Remus started, his voice unnervingly... normal.
"When the explosion went of... you know how we sometimes link up subconsciously. We all blanked for a second due to the pain." So he'd sent out an SOS...
And everyone had felt what did this to him...
“But Roman… He shot in action. By the time we realized you two were in danger he was already back at the building. He told us he found you two buried under some rubble. You were on top of Virgil who wasn’t burned at all, but he was unconscious. Roman managed to wake him up though and… Well we finally found out what happens when ‘survival’,” their nickname for Virgil’s power set, “Is pushed to the limit. Virgil told Roman to pick you up and next thing Roman knew you were all back with us and Virgil collapsed from overexertion.”
Patton and Logan nodded. “The doctors say he pushed his muscles so hard that they broke a few bones. There were hairline fractures all over. And… He still hasn’t woken up,” Patton explained sadly.
“Roman aggravated his injury going after you two, but he couldn't be made to care about his own recovery. He has refused to leave Virgil's side unless he knew one of us took his place. We’ve been taking turns to let him freshen up and visit you. Well Patton and Remus have. Apparently my care was unsatisfactory. Who knows what is going on in his head,” Logan added. Clearly still a little hurt by whatever had led to that decision, and frustrated by what must have been countless fruitless attempts to get Roman to listen to the doctors.
Janus could easily imagine why their theaterloving friend might be acting that way. Roman had declared himself to be their leader. Despite not being the oldest or most experienced in anything. It had been his idea to save people thought. And they all understood that he felt responsible for putting them on this path.
His guilt must run deep.
“I have to go see them,” Janus stated. This time everyone nodded without even a second’s hesitation.
“You won’t be able to walk on your own just yet. Even without your injuries, your muscles haven’t been used in a month. They will have to rebuild strength through physical therapy,” Logan informed him while Patton pulled up a wheelchair.
“I have used the past month to learn how to help you get settled without hurting you. I assumed you would prefer that over a nurse,” he added.
Janus smirked. “Oh no, I was totally hoping some random person would be yanking my body around.”
The other chuckled. “We missed you Jan,” Patton smiled warmly.
And Janus could feel how sincere he was. He could only really smile with his right side, so even when he tried to do it sincerely it probably looked like a smirk. So he gave his friends more of the humor they’d been missing. “I’d say I missed you to. But… I didn’t.”
He could feel the chuckle vibrate trough Logan’s chest as he carefully maneuvered him into the wheelchair.
Patton put himself in charge of steering him while Remus and Logan walked on either side of him, like they were escorting someone powerful or famous. And technically, Janus was both. They all were. They just tended to forget that around one another.
But it became rather apparent when they left the room and there were two armed police officers stationed in front of the door.
“We are going to see Instinct now. You may try to stop us, but it’ll only waste 13minutes and 29 seconds of all of our time before we convince you to let us trough. At the most.” Logan stated. He said it so firmly that anyone who didn’t know him would assume he knew this as a fact thanks to his predictive reasoning. But Janus, and the others surely too, could tell that he was lying. Meaning the guards might be able to stand their ground if they chose to do so.
But as no one bet against Logan’s predictions the guards stepped aside and let them trough.
There were guards in front of the room next to them too. These two however stepped aside right away.
Remus opened the door and they could hear Roman’s voice.
“I’ll let you pick the movies for a month. I won’t ever complain about your loud music again. I’ll admit I’m a big idiot! You can even have that in writing. Just please… Please V… I can’t… We can’t lose you.”
Janus’ heart ached. Their friends had gone through hell the past month.
Patton rolled Janus inside and he felt tears jump to his eyes. Well at least his tear ducts worked.
Roman was holding Virgil’s limp hand in his own. His head resting in the crook of his arm on the bed as he gazed up at their friend’s sleeping face. He was sitting in what looked like a very uncomfortable chair and had yet to realize he had company. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was a mess.
Janus and Roman were easily the vainest in the group. They knew this and accepted this about themselves. They often bonded over fashion and the sorts.
Logan came closest, though he did not care for fashion or anything like that. He just carefully maintained a professional appearance at all times.
The others didn’t seem to live in the same world when it came to caring for ones appearance. Except for Remus he was from a different universe.
And yet here both theatric, normally impeccably groomed men were. Absolute messes.
“You look terrible,” Janus drawled casually. Because there is no right way to draw attention to your presence in these circumstances.
Roman looked up, his eyes wide, a small ghost of a smile, a tiny spark in his eyes as he took him in.
Well at least his new look didn’t gross him out. Then again, he had apparently seen him look worse.
“I mean, so do I. But I was in a coma for a month. What is your excuse?”
Now the smile did break free, though the spark turned into silent tears. Janus would take it.
He could see Roman was struggling with the desire to come over and check on him and the need to stay close to Virgil.
Luckily Patton rode Janus over to be right in front of Roman so he wouldn’t have to choose.
He turned in his seat, switching Virgil’s hand from his right to his left so he could place his now freed hand gently on the scarred side of Janus’ face. Janus gasped in awe. Leave it to Roman to know, to understand, that Janus needed someone to treat his ruined half as if nothing had changed.
Roman angled Janus’ head and his own so that their foreheads touched.
“Welcome back,” he whispered.
“Good to be back,” Janus responded, feeling an immense weight fall of his chest.
Roman sat back up again, now holding Janus’ hand instead of his face.
“I hope, though I do not deserve such a gift, that you can find it in yourself to forgive me.”
And there it was. “For forgetting how to use a brush?” Janus scoffed.
Roman’s eyes flashed in annoyance. “This is no laughing matter! If I hadn’t tripped you and Virgil would have both been out of the building when that bomb went off! If anyone had ended up in the hospital it would have been me and rightfully so! I have no right to be left with nothing but a fractured ankle! It even healed over by now. Virgil however won’t be fully better for months! Even if he wakes up! And you… You could have died! We were told to prepare for… And the doctors don’t know why Virgil hasn’t woken up yet… and… and… I should’ve protected you both I…” Roman was full on sobbing now.
“Kiddo, no…” Patton whispered weakly.
“Don’t be stupid Romano. Anyone else would’ve waited for the V train and ended up caught in the blast as well or something,” Remus argued.
“Indeed. And there is always a chance that Virgil would have stopped to pick you up anyway and took a moment to tease you before taking you away. You know he likes carrying ‘the prince’ like a princess. You are his favorite to ‘whisk away’. There are an infinite amount of things that still could have gone wrong,” Logan reasoned earnestly.
Roman looked around at them in surprise. “But… I…” Then he stopped himself and allowed himself a chuckle.
“I guess… You all have some good points,” he sighed before letting go of Janus’ hand and turning back towards the bed. Switching his hands once more before dragging his left trough his hair and rubbing his eyes. “Now if only…”
“Tell me someone took a picture of the prince as a pauper.”
When they heard that everyone shot up in attention, except for Janus who didn’t have the strength to do more much more than hold his position right now. But he too turned his head to the bed where Virgil was blinking his eyes as he tried to take everyone in.
“You guys look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he chuckled. Then his eyes landed on Janus and widened.
Janus prepared himself. Last time Virgil saw him he didn’t even have so much as a freckle to tarnish his complexion. Now…
“J? Are you… Does it hurt?” he asked tentatively.
Well… No point in lying. “I’ve felt better,” but he didn’t have to be too honest either.
“Well… For what it’s worth, I think you look wicked. And anyone who has a problem is going to have to deal with me… umph!”
Roman had had enough of sitting around and was embracing Virgil.
“You are awake!” He exclaimed in relieve.
“Okay… Um… How long…?”
“A month,” Logan supplied as he came to stand at Virgil’s other side and ran his hand affectionately trough his hair. “You have a few broken bones that have yet to fully heal and a lot of physical therapy ahead, but now that you are awake, rest assured that you will make a full recovery.”
Virgil nodded in understanding.
“Princey? Can you let go of me now?” he asked.
“I don’t think any of us are ready for that kiddo,” Patton stated trough his happy tears as he sat down on Logan’s side of the bed and placed a hand on Virgil’s knee.
“Yeah! I finally have my creep and horror buddy back!” Remus exclaimed with glee, finally back to normal now that everyone was awake and together it seemed.
“Virgil, I… I thought….” Roman gasped as sobs threatened to overtake him yet again.
“Relax Princey. You don’t get rid of me that easily…” Virgil chuckled. Then he looked at Janus with some sadness in his eyes.
“Thanks. For saving me. I wish it hadn’t been needed though.”
Janus met Virgil’s eyes earnestly. “Of course Virgil. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
“And you have nothing to be sorry over okay kiddo? You did nothing wrong!” Patton insisted.
“Indeed...” Logan started probably about to do the same rational breakdown of Virgil’s actions and possible consequences of other decisions on his part as he’d done for everyone else but himself.
“I know,” Virgil chuckled with a roll of his eyes. Surprising everyone. If there was one member of their group they could assume would find a way to blame himself for everything wrong with the world, it was Virgil.
“What? You all have been helping me with my negative thinking remember? Hindsight 20/20 in this case. There is no use in dwelling on what happened if in the moment you acted with the right intentions and to the best of your ability. No point in playing the blame game,” he droned off the last part with a fond smile to Logan, who stared at him for a moment and then let out a single laugh. Followed by another , and another.
Patton joined in with giggles. Remus started cackling and Roman finally had to let Virgil go in order to laugh fully with tears in his eyes.
Janus had to settle for a warm smile on half his face and a slight shaking of his shoulders.
“Um… What did I say?” Virgil frowned.
“Nothing. It’s just that we have all been playing the blame game ourselves without even realizing,” Janus informed Virgil. “And now you, out of everyone, have put things in perspective again.
We are all here. And everything else, we can deal with.”
Virgil smiled at that. “Yeah… Yeah we can.”
Many challenges were still ahead. But that didn’t matter. They were all together again and all was right in the world.
Virgil=Instinct
Survival: he can choose to heighten his senses and increase his physical strength and speed to super human levels. His tolerance for pain is also heightened. Usually needs a nap and food after missions. Occasionally he'll discover he has injuries once he deactivates his power.
Roman= Prince
Equip: Basically full metal alchemist. If he can imagine the object clearly he can make it using molecules in the world around him. But for, by example, a working radio he'd have to know how all the parts fit together and work. So he has only a few of these complex objects in his arsenal.
Remus=Ragdoll
Asemble: Mr potato head from toy story. He can disassemble himself like a doll and put himself together again. If he pulls of a hand he can still use said hand as if it were attached. He lost his right little toe once and since then they all make sure Remus is in one piece before leaving.
Patton=Father
Connect: Can establish a telepathic bond with others and feel their emotions. The better he knows you the stronger both powers work. The team often uses this for group discussions, Patton shares his empathic powers with the rest through telepathy and that usually calms everyone right down. Hard to be mad when you feel how loved you are by the one your fighting with. Everyone agrees that if Patton wasn’t the cinnamon bun he is he'd make for a master manipulator.
As mentioned in the fic, his empathic abilities flare up when he is tired while his telepathy becomes harder to handle. He can connect briefly to one person at a time under those conditions.
Logan=MasterMind
Predictive reasoning: he can basically tell the future. Short term predictions are more accurate than long term. You can ask him the most likely outcome if you do action a as opposed to action b by example. He is still learning to take emotions into account but Patton helps him with that.
Janus=Fantasm
Mirage: he can create illusions. They work better when sight is limited by darkness fog or limited thinking of the spectator due to high emotions or the like. It does require more focus the more complex the vision is. He also can't move if he wants to keep it up. He usually takes care of distractions or hiding them.
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chrismho · 3 years
Text
Lakmé
Summary: Is this not the closest I’ve ever been to living?  The Kurosaki Family invites Rukia along with them to the Opera. Ichiruki/Rukia-centric one-shot inspired by the opera scene in Moonstruck. Set a little bit after FB arc.
PS: It’s a pretty famous song but if you haven’t heard Flower Duet  before, I highly rec you give this rendition a listen, it’s breathtaking! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9NK-EbUAao
“ICHIGOOOOOOO! RUKI-CHAAAAAN!” 
SMACK!
A day in the Kurosaki household was not complete without at least one collision between Isshin’s face and either Ichigo’s foot or fist. 
“I don't know how many times I have to tell you, old man: QUIT DOING THAT!” Ichigo roared, swiftly kicking his father back to the other side of the living room.
Rukia waited patiently for Isshin to complete this strange ritual, a fond smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Oh, Masaki!” Isshin sobbed, throwing himself upon his poster. “H-how cruel, how unloving our son has become! And Rukia at his side, so pure and lovely! W-we truly have here a beauty and the beast!”
“SHUT IT!”
 The dark-haired shinigami watched them butt heads and felt a vague sense of nostalgia swirl inside her. I didn’t realize how much I…missed this, she silently admitted to herself. Seventeen months had passed and Rukia kept herself busy with work--very busy. Too busy to stop and realize just how much she missed life in Karakura. But now that she was back, the realization was sudden and overwhelming; she missed late night hollow-hunting, the bustling hallways at Karakura High, she missed Keigo, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, she missed indulging in her schoolgirl act, pretending that she was human and truly one of them. But most of all, she missed him. That was a realization that had set Rukia very much on edge. Ichigo was a comrade, a partner, a friend. A friend she found herself pining for in those seventeen months. She recalled a saying she learned in the human world, something along the lines of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. 
Absence had only made Rukia’s heart confused as hell. 
Though almost two years had passed, her relationship with Ichigo picked up almost right where they left off. They bickered, laughed, they understood each other without need for words. But…now there was something new. No, not new; it had always been there. But now....now it was loud. And hard to ignore. It was something that Rukia couldn’t quite name, but its presence was undeniable. It wasn’t uncomfortable...but… but it was there. 
“What do you say, Rukia-chan? Oh, please say you’ll be joining us?”
Isshin’s question snapped her out of her thoughts.
“Eh? I-I’m sorry?” she asked, startled. 
“THE OPERA! An old buddy and colleague of mine has season tickets to the opera house here in Karakura. He’s away on a business trip so he gave me tickets to tomorrow’s show. We haven’t seen you in so long, the girls would just love if you came! SAY YOU’LL JOIN US!” 
“Don’t push her, Dad!” Ichigo said irritably. He turned to Rukia but didn’t meet her gaze. “Seriously, y-you don’t have to go. It’s really boring, the last time I went I wanted to die-”
“OH, BUT THAT’S NOT TRUE,” Isshin cut off gleefully, shoving Ichigo out of the way and putting an arm around Rukia. “The last time we went, Ichigo was but a boy. Though only eight at the time, he was so moved by the performance that he wept and blubbered all night long--” 
“HEY! N-NO I DIDN’T!”
“Yes, you did!” Karin called boredly from the kitchen. 
Ichigo hunched up his shoulders and scowled, his ears and cheeks an angry shade of red. 
“I’d be delighted to attend this...this ‘op-ohr-a’, Mr. Kurosaki!” Rukia declared, a cheerful and sparkly smile on her face. “Excellent! Come tomorrow evening at 7, and dress your very best, my dear! The opera is a most formal event,” Isshin beamed. 
“Whatever. And get your arm off her!” Ichigo grumbled, yanking Rukia away from his father and up the stairs to his room. 
“Ah, young love,” Isshin sighed after them.  “Eager to get her to your bedroom, I see? Yes, yes, I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do, if you catch my drift--” 
“SHUT UP!” Ichigo screamed over his shoulder. He hurried Rukia inside his room and slammed the door shut. 
“Nice to see the family dynamic hasn’t changed,” Rukia said, a sly smile on her face. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall alongside his bed. 
“1000 Yen says my dad’s got an ear pressed up to the door right now,” Ichigo replied. He sounded annoyed but there was a humorous glint in his eye. He looked up and met her gaze. They both dissolved into a quiet, gentle chuckle. 
“Feel free to sit, you know,” Ichigo said, gesturing towards the bed. “I know it’s been a while but time’s never stopped you from acting like you own this place.”
“No, that’s okay. I’m fine here,” Rukia responded, cursing herself for answering him a little too vehemently. Ichigo looked at her questioningly, and Rukia could have sworn she saw a very, very faint blush creep on his cheeks. A moment of silence passed. 
Tension. That’s what it was. 
“So what is this opera thing, anyway? I just realized I agreed to something I know nothing about,” Rukia asked, eager to change the subject and genuinely curious about this “most formal event” that moved a young Ichigo to tears. 
“It’s, uh, like a play. But with only singing. Really loud, annoying singing. And fancy costumes. And they usually end in tragedy.” Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head. 
Her amusement at his fumbling explanation made Rukia forget her discomfort earlier. She smirked and flopped onto his bed. “Sounds like fun. So this loud, annoying play moved you to tears, eh?”
“IT DID NOT-Hmph, *ahem*, It did not move me to tears, I told you already that I found it boring. And I SAID YOU COULD SIT ON MY BED, NOT LIE ON IT!” 
“Oh, Daddy, th-they’re on his bed already! They certainly are fast, aren’t they?” a muffled voice that sounded suspiciously like Yuzu’s could be heard saying from the other side of the door. 
Ichigo’s left eye twitched. 
He swung the door open and Isshin and Yuzu tumbled onto the floor. “SCRAM!” He roared, shaking his fist as they hurriedly fled the scene. 
_____
Giant, crystal chandeliers hung over the U-shaped hall, twinkling prettily in the warm, golden light. The house was packed with many well-dressed and well-to-do people. The euphony of various conversations and chatter rang pleasantly in the air. If Ichigo had been moved to tears by the place alone, Rukia would understand; it was truly, truly beautiful. She tilted her head back, taking in the glittering chandeliers and intricate paintings of flowers and stars on the ceiling. She must have looked visibly awestruck, for she turned to her side to find Ichigo looking back at her, an odd, almost tender smile on his face. She gave him a sharp elbow in the ribs. “What? What’s with that dumb look?” She snapped. 
“AGH! What the hell, Rukia?” He glared, letting out a sharp exhale before putting on another smile, this one more teasing. “N-nothing, I was just thinking...the last time I was here as a kid, I remember looking up at the paintings on the ceiling and counting all the stars as a way to pass the time. I guess I was just wondering if you were doing the same.” 
Rukia blinked. It was rare for Ichigo to divulge….well, really anything about his past and his memories. To share this random little anecdote felt oddly intimate. She felt her cheeks warm slightly and turned away. “Heh, no I wasn’t counting, I was just...admiring. She looked back up and couldn’t help but laugh. “Ichigo, there are hundreds of stars, up there! Did you really count them all?” He looked up too and smiled wryly, shaking his head. “Nah, the show always started and the lights would go off before I ever finished. But...I like that I don’t know. It’s this weird, unfinished mystery that just...stays up there on the ceiling, y’know?”
His amber eyes and fiery-orange hair glowed in the warm light of the hall. He glowed. Does he even know how handsome he looks in that stupid tux? Rukia thought, torn between feeling endeared and annoyed. And spewing out weird, lovely musings like that, too. What an idiot. 
She looked down at the program in her lap. In intricate, gold cursive, the words Lakmé: Opera en 3 Actes shone smack dab in the middle. “Is...is this in French?” she asked. “Yeah, but it’s okay; you see those black screens above the curtains up there? They’ll have translations…”
The lights began to dim. 
Quickly, stealthily, Ichigo stole one last look at Rukia in full light. She was already a beautiful woman but tonight she practically glowed. With the help of Yuzu and Karin, she had parted her cropped hair to one side and teased it into elegant waves. She had reluctantly let them put makeup on her, too, and Ichigo had a hard time keeping his eyes away from her lips, soft and painted red like a pomegranate. She was wearing a dress that Ishida had surprised her with a few weeks ago, a wine-colored sleeveless piece that gently hugged her form and flowed past her knees. Yeah. She glowed. It was annoying. 
Y’know, I bet she knows exactly how good she looks and is only pretending to be oblivious. He thought. What an idiot.
The red velvet curtains pulled back to reveal what looked like a stone courtyard on stage, adorned with all sorts of plants and exotic flowers. But the set was nothing compared to the music that emanated from the pit in front of the stage. She’d never heard anything like this. Not on the streets of Rukongai, nor in the banquets and gatherings in Seireitei. What was it Ichigo had called them? An orchestra. An orchestra, an orchestra, an orchestra. She had to remember that word. How so many voices, so many different strange and wonderful-looking instruments, could come together and create a sound so unified and sweet amazed her. 
A procession of people dressed in long, unstitched garments came onto the stage, singing words Rukia could not understand. A big man, clad in a costume beard and yellow robe, opened his mouth and began to sing a solo.
Rukia froze. 
It was obvious what he was doing required much skill, but….he sounded...funny? Rukia narrowed her eyes and fought a smile, trying to reason with this deep voice that shook with such a fervent vibrato. 
She heard a snicker two chairs away from her, and turned to see Karin in the dim light, her face contorted humorously. Rukia was about to join her before Isshin turned to his daughter with a glare so scary and dangerous that any humor at all in both Karin and Rukia was effectively vanquished. 
So entranced was she by the costumes and lights and flutes and cellos that the dark-haired shinigami found herself forgetting to glance up at the translations above the stage. She looked just enough times to gather that this was set in a temple in which rites were being performed. The ritual ended, and as smoothly as they glided in, the singers drifted back off the stage, leaving behind two women. 
The women, arm in arm, walked down to the “river” on stage to gather flowers. The one dressed in red turned to her companion and began to sing:
Viens, Mallika, les lianes en fleurs
Jettent déjà leur ombre
Sur le ruisseau sacré
qui coule, calme et sombre,
Eveillé par le chant des oiseaux tapageurs.
Rukia froze once more. This time, there was no urge to laugh. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Her ears tingled. What, Rukia thought shakily. What is this?
The other, dressed in a simpler, sun-colored dress answered her friend in a voice just as haunting and sweet:
Oh! maîtresse, c'est l'heure
où je te vois sourire,
L'heure bénie où je puis lire
Dans le coeur toujours fermé
De Lakmé!
 Rukia clenched her teeth, maintaining a stone-cold Kuchiki expression while her soul inside shook and quaked. 
What is this?
                                                 Dôme épais le jasmin
                        Sous le dôme épais où le blanc jasmin
Like flowers landing on the surface of a pond, their voices floated, glided, rippled through the hall, lighter than air. 
                                                    À la rose s'assemble
                                        À la rose s'assemble
The melody seemed to follow some invisible wave that drifted down, then up, then down, and down again. It was elegantly unpredictable, like the path a feather takes on the way to the ground.
Rukia’s throat caught. The swelling in her chest bewildered and almost angered her. This...this beauty was almost cruel. Her eyes felt hot. Her face remained expressionless.
                                                 Rive en fleurs, frais matin,
                             Sur la rive en fleurs, riant au matin,
I never did get the chance to understand what it is to live, Rukia thought. She had, in fact, died when she was only a baby. 
I....could see traces of what life was in the youth and excitement of Ichigo and his friends...the sound of their laughter, their chatter about the future.
                                                 Nous appellent ensemble.
                                       Viens, descendons ensemble.
With each rise and fall of their voices, Rukia felt as though her soul was expanding. The singers’ figures became blurry behind the tears that began to well in her eyes.
But this…this swelling in my chest, and the goosebumps on my skin. My throat...feels tight. 
A tear broke free and began to trickle down her cheek. 
Is this not the closest I’ve ever been to living?
Ichigo gazed steadily at the stage, letting himself float and drift with the melody. It was no wonder the Flower Duet was such a famous song, even to those unfamiliar with opera. He cleared his throat as quietly as he could and turned to check on Rukia. His jaw clenched. 
                                               Ah! glissons en suivant
                           Doucement glissons; De son flot charmant
She stood absolutely still, upright, her small, pale hands clenched into fists on her lap. She did not look at him. He watched with well-hidden astonishment as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She stared solemnly at the women on stage, blinking slowly. Her amethyst eyes glistened with the water and salt that filled them. 
                                                         Le courant fuyant
                                  Suivons le courant fuyant
A lump began to form in Ichigo’s throat. He turned away, back to the stage. He couldn’t put into words what she was feeling, but he felt he understood it. He didn’t want to intrude on her moment, but he also wanted to let her know that she was not alone. Even when they were worlds apart, he’d find a way to reach her. Slowly, his hand moved towards hers. 
His fingertips lightly brushed her wrist, and traveled up towards the back of her hand. 
Rukia kept her eyes fixed on the singers. She gave no indication that she even noticed his hand on hers. A twinge of disappointment and embarrassment stung him. I...probably ruined her moment. I shouldn’t have-
His heart stopped. Silently, suddenly, the slender, cold hand seized his own. She intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed lightly. She did not look at him. 
                                                     Dans l'onde frémissante,
                                      Dans l’onde frémissante
To this day Ichigo couldn’t say what the hell compelled him to do what he did next. Maybe it was the nearly two years of separation, or the swelling music and stupid, glittering, chandeliers messing with his head, or the way she gripped his fingers with such a quiet and loving intensity, or a mix of all of those things. Slowly, he raised her hand up, off her lap. 
                                                   D'une main nonchalante,
                                      D’une main nonchalante,
Rukia stirred, tilting her head slightly towards him. He brought her hand up to his face and slowly, gently, firmly, pressed his lips against her knuckles. Rukia’s eyes flashed wide open, and now she turned to look at him. Another tear rolled silently down her otherwise stoic face. Ichigo opened his eyes and looked back at her. 
                                            Dôme épais, blanc jasmin,
                             Sous le dôme épais, Sous le blanc jasmin,
Nothing was said, but a thousand words were exchanged between them. Ichigo lowered her hand but did not let go. They held their gaze for a moment longer, then turned their heads back towards the stage. 
                                                      Nous appellent ensemble!
                                    Ah! descendons ensemble!
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clara-licht · 4 years
Text
You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me
You woke up in a familiar place with Marvel actors staying there. Or at least, you thought they were actors...
Pairing: The Avengers & Reader Genre: Platonic, general Word Count: 1.9k Note: This is an edited version from my old work in deviantart where the idea is you somehow met the Avengers, but you thought they were the actors instead. It’s been a while since I last wrote something so this was a nice refresher! I got a Peter Parker imagine in works right now, though.
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When you opened your eyes, you instantly regretted it.
"Ugh!"
You shielded your eyes from the burning light. When your eyes finally adapted to the lightings, you took in your surroundings. You were in a familiar room. But you didn't think you've been there before. It just that you thought you knew this room. It was quiet, but not dead quiet. You kept looking around you in silence, until a voice startled you.
"Good morning, miss."
"Who's there?!" You immediately jumped out of the bed you'd been on.
"Please do not be alarmed. My name is FRIDAY, an Artificial Intelligence created by my boss, Anthony Stark."
Hearing this, you scoffed. FRIDAY? Anthony Stark? Okay, this was either a dream or someone was pulling prank on you. "Yeah, right. And I fell from the sky to SHIELD's Helicarrier, saved by Captain America, and was treated by Dr. Bruce Banner in Stark Tower. Or is it Avengers Tower?" You said sarcastically.
You got to admit; you loved Marvel. Even if you were pretty sure Endgame also ended your life as you knew it and you couldn't accept a lot of things that happened in that movie. Like Steve leaving Bucky for Peggy, who he knew already had a fulfilling life and children? Nonsense. Far From Home was also quite heartbreaking, seeing your favorite character, Peter Parker, going through a lot like that. You just re-watched it a few days ago and had a good cry about it. Or was it weeks ago? Or hours ago? Wait, why were your memories foggy? You couldn't remember what happened before you woke up in the room.
"Are you okay?"
It took a moment for you to regain your composure. "Yeah, I'm fine. So, care to explain what happened? You can't be the real FRIDAY. As much as how I wanted you to be, FRIDAY only exist in Marvel Universe. Where is this? How did I end up here? What happened? Who are you and what do you want?"
"One moment."
You raised an eyebrow. Now she intended to make you wait? Whoever that guy who pretended to be FRIDAY was, her voice could seriously pass as Kerry Condon's.
A sound of door sliding open made you turned around. And God did you not regret doing it.
"OH MY GOD. ROBERT DOWNEY JR?!"
"Who?" The vertically challenged man, who clearly was Robert Downey Jr. a.k.a Iron Man actor, frowned. Now you didn't care if it was a prank pulled by your friends. You got to meet Downey after all!
"Oh God, are you really?! What did I do to deserve meeting you?!" You started squealing.
"Hey, FRIDAY? Are you sure she's not mentally broken? She hit her head quite hard, didn't she?"
"Yes, boss. I ran full scan of her and right now the amount of dopamine in her brain is increasing- indicating that she's happy. Aside from that, I am 100% sure she is fine."
It was your turn to frown. "What? What scan?"
Downey chuckled and looked at you. "Follow me."
Slightly confused, you followed him.
❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊
"So… Mr. Downey?" You called.
"Who is this Downey that you keep speaking of?"
"You, of course!"
"Well," He lifted an eyebrow as he inched closer to you, "my name is Tony Stark. Feel free to call me Tony, not that name of someone I don't even know about. I've never met someone who don't know about me before."
You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes. "Well, Tony," You emphasized his name, "if you keep insisting on playing the whole Iron Man act, then I will play along."
"Play?" He mumbled, face now confused. But he decided to say nothing as the elevator dinged and you two exited the cramped lift. He led you to a spacious room. On your way, you looked around. Now you knew why it felt familiar. That place was designed close to the Avengers Compound in the movie. Whoever did this prank, they really outdid themselves.
"And here we are!"
"What took you so long, Tony?"
"Brother Anthony! I see that the lady has woken up!"
"Oh, she's awake."
"Hey, Cap! That girl you saved is awake!"
"She is?"
You gaped.
No.
Freaking.
Way.
"Now I'm sure I must be dreaming." You muttered.
"What was it, sunshine?" Downey, you mean Tony, asked with that annoying smile. "So! Let me introduce you to-"
"Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Scarlett Johansson, Elizabeth Olsen, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Ty Simpkins and oh my god it's Tom Holland and Tom Hiddleston. Yes, I know their names, thank you very much." You mumbled under your breath. "
"Okay, dear lady who seems to know whoever name that you've mistaken us for, I will correct those names for you." Tony sighed. "Meet Thor and his brother Loki who finally decided to stop being a menace after almost dying in the hand of evil purple ball sack," he gestured to Hemsworth and Hiddleston.
"Those two scary assassins over there are Clint Barton, known as Hawkeye, and Natasha Romanoff, or Black Widow," then he pointed at Renner and Johansson.
"Wanda Maximoff, also known as Scarlett Witch." Olsen hesitantly waved at you.
"Capsicle, Steve Rogers, and practically-his-boyfriend, Bucky Barnes." Evans looked at Tony disapprovingly while Stan nodded politely at you. "Usually they got a third guy, Sam Wilson, with them, but he's currently visiting his family."
"And lastly, my interns, Peter Parker and Harley Keener. Vision and Banner are somewhere in this Compound."
You scoffed again. "This might be the best time to wake up. Okay, wake up!" You close your eyes and started shaking your head. "Wake up!"
"What are you doing?" Renner, or Clint, asked.
"Why can't I wake up?" You mumbled. You slapped yourself, hard. "OW! DAMN, THAT HURTS!" Your eyes widened.
"It… hurts? So this is not a dream?" Blinking a few times, realization dawned on you. "Oh, this must be a prank. Alright, you got me. What the hell happened to me earlier and who organized this prank?"
Tom Holland looked up and raised a hand, "I can answer that!"
"Nope, you just stay there quietly, Underoos. Take it away, Cap." Tony said, followed by Holland pouting.
What a cute guy. Wait, no, focus!
Evans stepped forward, "I believe I can answer that."
He started explaining that when Peter (nope, it's Tom Holland, it's got to be Holland) was running on the tracks outside, he saw something falling out from the sky at a rapid pace. That something turned out to be you, who were unconscious at the time. Alarmed, he caught you (no, that doesn't make sense, IF I was really falling that fast, he shouldn't be able to catch me that easily without any of us injured) and called for help. They brought you inside and got Doctor Helen Cho (again, that must be Claudia Kim or something) to check you and she cleared you out. Apparently Doctor Stephen Strange (seriously, they got Benedict Cumberbatch here too?!) came by earlier to check you as well and deemed you non-dangerous, so they let you stay in one of the rooms in the Compound until you wake up.
"Ha, nice story, Captain. Come on, be serious here for a second!" You shook your head, "The Avengers isn't real, okay? They're just fiction! A made-up story! As much as I would love for them to be real, they only exist in Marvel Universe and thank goodness Sony and Disney kinda made up and let Spider-Man stays in MCU because otherwise I won't know what to do! Besides, there's just no way someone could have super powers like-"
"You're scared," Olsen stated softly, "I understand. But I know you somehow feel comfortable standing here with us. You recognized us as someone that you knew, someone you actually trust. You… You somehow feel at ease and want to believe us, although your mind keeps telling you that you're dreaming and this is a prank by your best friend (f/n). You're not, this is not."
You took a step back. It suddenly seemed dangerous to be in that room and whatever ease you felt (yes, she was right, you did feel comfortable for some reason) left you immediately. "Okay… I don't know how know that, but clearly there must be something wrong here…"
"Something wrong indeed." Hiddleston sighed in his attractive British accent as he, who was supposed to be sitting on the couch beside Hemsworth, walked pass from behind you with a bottle of coke in his hand.
"I-I thought you were there!" You pointed at the couch.
"I was."
"Then how-"
"It's not hard to teleport, mortal."
"What-"
"Are you okay? You look pale." Renner, who you started to believe was the real Clint Barton, walked towards you.
"No! Stay where you are!"
"Miss-"
You slid down and sat on the floor, pounding head in your hands. "This is not real. It can't be. It can't be. It can't be…" You whispered over and over again in between your short breath. Your heart was racing and your whole body started shaking.
"Miss, take a deep breath-"
"SHUT IT!"                                                    
"Boss, the lady seems to be in distress and starting to show symptoms of panic attack."
"Shit. Hey, hey, come on, breathe slowly-"
"I'm sorry, is this the wrong time to come?"
A new voice made you turn around, only to see a weird person with red and green skin wearing a shiny cape coming in, followed by a big green figure.
"V-Vision?" You croaked out.
"Uh, yes. Do I know you?"
And that was the cue for you to pass out.
❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊❊
"You've gotta be kidding me."
"We're not."
"But there's just no way-"
"And there's just no way for you to come from a dimension where it seems so peaceful."
"It's not peaceful! War still happens!"
"Yes, but no outer space threat? Really?"
"It's just a fiction!"
"Well it's not. Look at Loki."
When you regained your consciousness, you were still surrounded by some the Avengers. The real Avengers. It made you accept the fact that it was not, indeed, a dream.
"So, I fell out from the sky," Peter nodded. "and this is the Avengers Compound." He nodded again. "You all have no idea what happened to me since Dr. Strange, Maximoff, Stark, Thor, and even Loki knows nothing." They nodded. "And I can't even remember what happened before it!"
"Hey, we'll found out about it." Vision said reassuringly.
"How do you know that I'm not evil?" You asked.
"He's worthy of Mjölnir, and he can see pass you. He knows." Thor said with a smile.
"Besides Strange said you're fine. Maximoff also doesn't feel any threat coming off from you, and Peter's tingle-" Tony stopped himself, "Uh, I mean, Peter is good at sensing bad people and he's fine."
"Are you sure you can help me regain my memory?" You asked, ignoring the little blunder. You must tell them what you knew later and asked about the timeline. Tony mentioned 'evil grape ball sack' which definitely meant Thanos, but he was alive, along with Natasha and Vision, so there must be something different.
"With all our might."
"How?"
"Well, let's start with you telling us your name."
"It's (y/n), (y/n) (l/n)."
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vegetacide · 3 years
Text
TaG: Bloodlines (Part 9 Bit 1 )
Veg • notables: Due to the length of this part I am splitting it up into two bits.
Any errors in this are strictly my own
Ty to @gumnut-logic and @scribbles97 for the brainstorming help and the encouragement.
Also a special thanks for Nutty for letting me borrow Gordon's talking bird from her fic "The Dentist" (Part 11)
Previous:
Part 1 | Part 2 Bit 1 & Bit 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Rating and General warning: Mature content head. If you are not a fan of medical issues of a female nature in relation to pregnancy please proceed with caution.
Characters: Virgil, Kayo, (V/K), Jeff, Scott 
Location: TaG-verse AU | Tracy Island
E N J O Y
8-8-8
Part 9 - Dipisahkan (Bit 1)
Week later...
“...and now for international news.  A suspected homicide and fire in an internet café in Istanbul has been downgraded to Death by Misadventure as autopsy reports conclude the presence of a high concentration of narcotics found in  the remains of the establishments proprietor, Berk Demir  The café has long since been suspected as being associated with several black-market smugglers groups and dark web anarchist but to date authorities have been unable to obtain the necessary proof to back the claims...”  
Kayo groaned and rolled her eyes as she flicked off the holo-fed.  She was not in the mood to listen to criminal reports and activities when there was nothing she could do to help.  
There were criminal elements the world over like that cafe, some of which she’d had an active hand in shouting down over the course of the last few years.  From human trafficking, to the sales of banned chemicals or other components that could cause a loose of life and had on some occasions.  
She’d helped where she could, always hopeful despite the odds that it would help bring to  justice the man that had caused so much pain to so many people.  
Whatever it took to protect those she called her family and humanity as a whole, she would do it.  The GDF had simply to ask and she was there. 
Being bound to the villa and watching what was going on in the world though was like dangling a carrot and the best course of action as she sat here and incubated another life was to avoid it at all costs.  
On top of that, the recommendation that she relocated to the mainland and even be further removed from everything was hard for her to swallow. 
After talking to Jeff and Scott that following morning after that little revelation by her OB-Gyn her life had been completely taken from her control.  Grandma had joined the conversation as well and had agreed wholeheartedly that thought the island was a good place for her to recuperate and rest for the time being,  the long term relocation was the best course of action.  
Grandma had been a respected and well known doctor before her retirement but obstetrics and neonatal care had not been her chosen discipline.  If there was a need for something more than just childbirth she didn’t feel adequately suited for the task.  
That with the addition to the island not being equipped with the necessary supplies and it didn’t take much to convince Virgil of their one and only recourse. 
So it looked like she was getting evicted and kicked even further afield from the action that made up her regular daily life. Relegated to a gestational oven, far away from home.  
Tossing the remote on the coffee table she flopped back and stared up at the ceiling.  Bored out of her gourd and feeling completely helpless for the first time in a long time. 
From across the room she heard a chuckle and tipped her head further back to look at her father in law.   
“Lucy had a hard time doing nothing too.  Especially when she was pregnant with Alan.”  He said,  exchanging his data pad for his cane and coming over to join her.  
“Please tell me, you found a way to stop her going insane with boredom.”  Kayo griped, righting herself with a grunt of effort. 
“She tried to take up knitting but with Gordon in the house…. It didn’t go over well.”  Jeff assumed a casual stance though he was favouring his right leg a bit.   After all his time in space, his recovery was slow and his joints were not enjoying gravity in the slightest.
Kayo made a face as she pictured the mess that must have been. “Well,  there is no way I am taking up knitting now,  Gordon is worse now than when he was a kid.” 
Jeff laughed with ease at that,  nodding his head in agreement with her statement.  
“Yes,  it’s best to keep him away from pointy sticks and yarn.  He too easily falls into temptation. “
They fell into a companionable silence. Just enjoying each other's company like they used to do when she was little and she was too annoyed or upset to hang out with the rambunctious brothers. 
It was weird how easily they fell back into the old routine,  Jeff  taking care of Tracy Industries and her doing any number of other quiet activities.
Oftentimes when she came to sit with him,  it was just so she could feel closer to her own father. Wherever he was.  She knew Jeff was aware of it but he always made time for her when she needed the comfort and he never made mention of it either.  Knowing she was trying to put on a brave front in front of the rest of the family.   
“It’s a beautiful day out.”  He remarked,  he’s face turned towards the large open balcony doors, the light breeze tousling his grey hair.  “Would you care to go for a stroll, I could use the company.”  
Kayo grinned and gave a nod.  Getting to her feet on her own steam for a change was a nice boost to her confidence.   Jeff stood close by to help but he didn’t ask or pester her like his sons were want to do and she was grateful for it. 
She loved all her extended family very much but they tended to treat her like she was glass and would break at any minute even her husband.  God, she loved him but his over protectiveness was starting to drive her batty.   
Being the well brought up man that he was, Jeff offered her his elbow as they made their way out the balcony doors and towards the veranda stairs. 
She tucked her hand in the crock of his arm, enjoying the warmth he offered her.  Circling the pool they came to the top of the trail head that led in a gentle descent down the cliff side to the tide pools that sat below the mammoth villa.  
It really was a beautiful day out and Kayo let her thoughts drift as the smells and sounds of their island home surrounded her.  
Tropical birds danced and chirped amongst the tall palms and ferny underbrush and she caught  a flash of iridescent black and a streak of white as something dove across their path.   Stopping to see where it went off to, her and Jeff blinked as whatever it was squawked and chirped and burped at them before something that sounded vaguely like ‘Virgil’  hailed down from further up the path.*
“Did that bird…?”  Kayo asked, slightly confused.  
Jeff just sighed and shook his head.  “I thought Gordon was joking when he said he taught a honeyeater to talk.”
“A what now?”  She was more baffled than ever.  
Jeff just patted her hand and they continued on their way.    
They meandered on at a sedate pace for a few minutes,  taking their time to traverse the well used path in no rush to reach any particular destination. 
Coming around a bend they reached a small lookout where a large outcropping of rock had been worn smooth by the elements making for a perfect place to park one’s backside. 
Jeff grunted as he settled onto the warm, volcanic rock and patted the space beside him in invitation.  
“I’ve always wondered..”  Kayo started,  kicking off her sandals and sighing contentedly as the sun-kissed warmth of the basalt soothed her feet. 
“Wondered what?”  Jeff encouraged,  tipping his cane back and forth between his hands.
“How did you manage it?” The look he sent her and the cant of his head pushed her to elaborate further. “Being away from home so often?” 
“Ah,”  He remarked as he caught on to her meaning. “While Lucille was pregnant and the boys were little.”
His brows dipped down as he thought of how best to respond, his jaw working back and forth as if he was chewing on the answer.  “Funny you should ask actually.”
Her brow arched up as she regarded him,  watching the quirk of his lip as he glanced her way.  “How so?”
“Virgil asked something similar.”  He didn’t elaborate more on that.  Just went back to chewing on an answer for her previous inquiry.  “Well,  I can tell you one thing.  It wasn’t easy.  There were a lot of late night comms calls that made me glad that NASA didn’t charge long distance fees.  And prior to the lunar communications relay being built,  a lot of long, mopey emails that Lucy loved to tease me about to no end.”  
“Virgil’s been barely gone a day and he’s already checked in with me three times…” Her voice trailed off and she pointed  to the heavens.  “You kept going back out there. I just….how? 
She really wanted to know the answer cause she had been asking the same thing to herself all week and she hadn’t been able to come up with an answer. 
“A job needed to be done and I had the skill set for it.  The world didn’t get put on hold just cause we decided to have a kid...and another... and another..” He chuckled to himself. “ And so forth.”
“I just told myself whenever I left,  get it done.  Get it done right,  precisely and correctly and get home.  Keep on tasks and I’ll be home before I know it.  For the most part that worked,  kept me focused.   When it didn’t  there was plenty a night where Lucy was there..”  
He sighed and rubbed at his chest.  An old ache that would never go away and she felt a pang of guilt for bringing it up.  
“You two will figure it out though.”  He added taking a cleansing breath, the sadness that hung in his gaze dulling as he shifted his train of thought away from his dearly departed. 
“It won't be easy,  they will be a few bumps but you’ll manage. Besides on the days when things don’t work,  the little nuget will have four uncles and great grandmother and an ecstatic Grandpa waiting the wings to lend a hand.”
Kayo looked down at her slowly distending tummy, her doubt churning with all the things they could mess up and would mess up.. But Jeff was right.  They weren’t alone. They had a large support system that was just as excited as they were for their little stowaway and they would figure it out.  
A bleep from Jeff’s wrist comms sounded and he glanced down to read the holographic message that had been sent to him. His brows dipped and he took a moment to send back a brief reply before giving her knee a pat.  
“Boys are on their way back. Should be here soon.”   
“Everything okay?”
He nodded as he held out the crook of his arm to her again. “Few bumps and bruises.  Alan sprained his ankle but Virgil saved him from a nastier spill.” 
Before she could ask about her husband,  Jeff raised a hand.  “Virgil is alright too but I am sure Grandma will have them both scanned within a inch of their lives the moment they get home.”  
Placated for the time being, she took the offered limb and they made their way back up the cliff side path. 
When Two finally landed some thirty minutes later, Kayo was chomping at the bit.   True to Jeff’s word though Grandma had both Virgil and Alan in her clutches within moments of them disembarking the massive cargo hauler.  
Alan limping along, Virgil and Gordon each under an arm.   The stretcher had been an option but the youngest Tracy had kicked up a fuss that it wasn’t really that bad.
Grandma had taken one look at the dirty lot of them and all thoughts of complaint had fled in the face of all that Doctor Grandma-feel my wraith energy.  
It was another twenty minutes before Kayo even had a chance to check in with her husband and when she finally managed to get a moment along with him he gathered her up in a hug and it didn’t appear as if he wanted to let go.
He was freshly showered and changed. Hair and skin still a slightly damp and smelling of soap.  
Running her hands up and down his back, her head tucked into the crook of his neck she gave him a gentle squeeze which he reciprocated.  
“Hey,  tough day at the office?”  She said into his ear. 
“Something like that.” 
Taking his hand Kayo tugged him toward the elevator. “Come on,  let’s get you fed and watered before you get called away again.
“That’s supposed to be my job.”  The grin that up turned his lips chased some of the shadows away from his eyes
“Well then,  hurry up and I may let you mother-hen me.  Though I will warn you, I can’t be held responsible if I start throwing things at you.”
“Oh, there’s a challenge if ever I heard one.”  He chuckled, tucking her in under his arm as they passed through the heavy doors into the cab.   
“So,”  She started,  hitting the button for the upper level. “How’d it go?” 
Virgil shrugged with one shoulder.  “Couple amateur rafters got into trouble on a class five that they had no business being anywhere near. Alan lost his footing as we were pulling them to shore.  He’ll be alright in a few weeks,  the rafters on the other hand are going to be getting some hefty fines for trespassing on a private reserve.”
The elevator dinged and the doors opened to the kitchen.  “Sucks to be them.”  
The awesome scent of roast chicken had Virgil distractedly grunting in agreement and Kayo grinned.  The thought of food had obviously caused his brain to short out and speech had taken a back seat to hunger. 
Coming up to the counter, she peaked around Virgil’s shoulder to admire the spread of food.  Cecilia had been busy.  
The Haitian woman was a genius in the kitchen and the boys had been spoiled rotten lately with her cooking.  
Carb loading had turned into the number one pastime for the brothers and they endeavoured to consume  as much as possible before her departure for the mainland with Kayo.  There had been talk around the table about hiring her on full-time once the baby was born but it usually took second place to food shoveling and breathing. 
‘Cecilia, that smells fantastic.”
“Virgil Tracy, you keep your fingers out of that roast.  It’s not done yet.” The tall woman swatted at his hands with her baster and stole the carrot back that he had managed to pilfer.  “Don’t blame me if you get salmonella poisoning.  There is no way I am going to be held at fault for tossed cookies on the next call out. You hear me?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  Chastised he took a seat and watched with longing in his eyes as the food guru went back to work 
Kay just rolled her eyes and plunked down onto the stool beside him, tossing a leg over his thigh as she got comfortable. 
He glanced down at it and grinned,  putting hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze. 
“Comfortable?” 
“Yup.” 
Getting a little distracted Kayo jumped a bit when a cup of tea was placed in front of her. The scent of ginger tickled her sinuses and she looked up to see Cecilia standing across from her with her arms on her hips and a tea towel tossed over her shoulder. 
“Drink up. You need to keep hydrated.”  She instructed, pointing at the cup. “And no hanky panky in my kitchen.” 
Virgil’s hand dropped from where it had slid up her thigh and he did his best to look innocent. 
“Don’t you play coy with me.”  The tall woman scolded, placing a cup of coffee in front of him.  “It’s what got the two of you into all this baby hubbub in the first place and I don’t want it in my kitchen.”
Reprimanded they checked themselves and they both directed their attention at their respective drinks. 
Foot falls down the stairs had Kayo turning to see Scott.   He flashed a smile as he approached, data pad in hand.  
“Hey,  thought I would find you here.” He said,  walking behind the counter to snag a fresh cup of coffee. 
“Food was a necessity.”  Virgil smirked, taking a sip from his own cup. 
“John’s finished making those upgrades to the security system at the house in Parnell and the rota’ has been adjusted for the next few days until you get everything settled.” Scott held the data pad out to Kayo so she could see.
She blinked surprised she was being included in this even though she was the security specialist in the family. Taking the pad she flicked through the information that it provided.  Updated security measures, upgrade gear and protocols.  All things she had improved upon recently when Jeff had come home with little tweaks here and there by John for surveillance and anti-surveillance measures.
She was impressed and it must have shown on her face.  
“You trained Hubbert well.” Scott remarked, a telling comment on his approval of their  T.I security crew.  “He has assigned Baxster and Jenkins to watch over things at the house and escort you to and from your appointments and such.”  
“They’ll do.   They both had advanced hand to hand tactics training and a working knowledge of counter intelligence measure that could come in handy if…”  She paused and corrected herself. “When the media gets wind.”  
“GDF has agreed to lend us a couple of bodies as well so we aren’t stretched too thin. They’ll be made available when needed.” 
Looking into his coffee cup Virgil questioned, “You sure this is going to be okay?” Kayo knew he hated to be a burden on his brothers, preferring to be the one to provide support and not the one that needed it.  
Scott gave his shoulder a pat.  “Don’t worry, we got it. Even with Alan down we can cover things for a few days until you get back.   Aunt Val is aware we are limited for a few days and is making preparations on her side if the need arises.”
Virgil didn’t look all that convinced but there wasn’t much he could do.  His hands were tied as much as hers were.  
“I still don’t like this.”  
“I know, Bro.” Scott gave him a nudge and his large frame rocked slightly with it.  “Pulling you from rotation completely is still an option if you want to take it.”  
He shook his head.  “No, that won’t work. Our effectiveness will go up in smoke and I don’t want that on my conscience anymore than you do.”  
“But it’s my burden to take on as field commander, V.  Not yours.” 
This was just going around in circles and it wasn’t really getting them anywhere.   Kayo nudged her husband from the other side.
“Come on,  take me for a walk up to the lookout.  I want to watch the sunset before dinner and it looks like we have the time.”  
Cecilia who had been busily chopping greens for a salad nodded her head in confirmation when Kayo looked to her to verify. 
“Besides,  I could use a light exercise. I feel like I am starting to resemble a blimp. 
Virgil choked on his coffee and turned to her.  “A blimp? Hardly.”  
Giving Scott a wink,  she took a sip of her tea content for the time being that the heavy talk had been effectively brushed aside.  This was one that she knew they would come to  rehash again later though she knew there really was no use in it. 
They had to do what they had to do. Moving to the mainland though a pain was their only option and Virgil needed to keep doing what he was doing.  As Jeff has said,  the world didn’t stop just because they were with child. 
8-8-8
End of Part One
NEXT
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fragmentedink · 4 years
Text
Hell to Pay: Part Forty- Two
I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI
A/N: HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF HELL TO PAY!!!
cowritten by @lux-scriptum
A/N 2: trigger warning for mentions of past rape, loss of a child
Amara stared out over the ocean. She found no comfort in the sound of the waves crashing into shore. This was Nik’s home, not hers. Just the idea of going in that water sent a shudder through her.
She dragged her attention to Nik. “Feel any better?” She asked.
“Do you?” Nik asked, not looking away from the ocean.
“I’m sitting right in front of one of my biggest fears, so no, not really,” Amara said. “The ocean is for you, not me.”
Nik sighed. “If you hate it so much, we can leave.”
“No,” Amara said stubbornly. “You like it. Now, if you wanted me to go in the water, that’s something else.”
“Hmph. Then maybe you should stop complaining.”
“I think I’m allowed a certain amount of bitching, considering the last few months.”
Nik slid her a dry look, raising a slight brow. “Do you,” he said. “And the rest of these last twenty-years?”
“I’m sure there’s plenty of trauma in those twenty years, yes.”
Nik’s attention went back to the ocean, and he didn’t say a word.
Amara leaned against him. “I have to go soon,” she said. “Shit to do. Cameron to keep complacent. Deep rooted trauma to address without the crutch of alcohol.”
Nik sighed. “Don’t let me stop you.”
Amara patted his arm. “Soon. I promise, I’ll be less busy soon.” She stood, brushing off her shorts. “Nate’s in the parking lot. Best not to keep him waiting very long.”
“Okay. Have fun.”
“Unlikely.”
---
Cameron was sitting in Lev’s bedroom, working on a crossword puzzle when he heard the front door open. He got to his feet and waited in the doorway for Amara to make her way back. He could almost taste the ocean water on her; even if he knew that she hadn’t stepped foot in the ocean herself. It just proved that she had been with Nik.
“Anything new?” she asked.
“If there was, do you not think I would tell you?” he asked. “Why are you here, I thought you were keeping Nik occupied.”
“Nate picked him up,” she replied. “I wanted to see Lev again.”
“He’s exactly as he was this morning when you last saw him,” Cameron said. “Look for yourself if you do not believe me.”
Without saying anything, Amara wandered over to Lev’s side. She ran her fingers through Lev’s wavy hair. “Wake the fuck up,” she said. If Cameron hadn’t known better, he’d almost say she sounded a little scared.
Though he didn’t care enough to comment on it. “Get in the kitchen,” he said. “It’s lunch time. Ash is already in the kitchen. He was annoying me.”
“Because Ash is the reason I came here,” she said, sarcastically.
Cameron ignored her and followed her to the kitchen where he started getting lunch started. He tuned out Ash and Amara bickering while he cooked and put the food down in front of them, hoping it would shut them up long enough for him to eat and leave the room.
Luckily, it worked well enough. He got his fill, watching them eat, and then started to clean up. He had the dishes done and the food put back before he went back to Lev’s bedroom and closed the door behind him, locking it.
The sentries knew by now to not let those two idiots in the room while the door was locked. Settling down in his chair, Cameron watched Lev’s body carefully. He watched Lev’s chest rise and fall; he watched his eyes move under his eyelids. Lev seemed to be here- Nate said his soul was wound successfully through him. “If you’re going to be here,” Cameron said, “Then be here. There is no point of you staying in this… between state. Absolutely nothing is going to get done if I have to keep an eye on Nik every second of every day, and you being like. This. is destroying my routine.” Cameron sighed sharply, resting his hand on Lev’s leg. “You wanted to come back. So come back.”
It was then that Lev decided to snap his eyes open.
---
From the moment Lev opened his eyes, Lev was overwhelmed. Too much sensation, too much- it was just too much. He rolled over to the edge of the bed and began to heave. Nothing came up. There was nothing to come up, but Lev’s stomach twisted anyway.
Lev hadn’t realized Cameron had been touching him until Cameron took his hand away. It was a few more minutes before Lev got his stomach under control. He sat up slowly. Last he saw, Cameron had been hobbling around, and yet-
“What happened?” Lev asked, blinking hard, as if that would make his head stop spinning. “Why am I in my room?”
Cameron peered at him closely. “What do you think happened?”
Lev leaned back against the headboard, pressing the palm of his hands against his eyes. “I don’t know. I- you were hurt, really badly. And-” Lev stopped. “I was gonna leave in the morning. I didn’t know what to tell you, but I- I’m so sorry. That I wanted to. But- I was going to. And I don’t know what happened after that.”
“Do you want to know?”
Lev’s eyes widened. “What does that mean?” he asked, voice going up an octave.
Cameron lifted a brow. “Exactly what I said. Do you want to know what happened?”
Lev hesitated. “Yes?” he said softly.
“Destris gutted you and left you for dead. We found you right before you died.”
Lev clutched at the blankets still in his lap. “I died?” he asked, looking at Cameron closely. “How long ago was that? You don’t- you don’t look hurt.”
“Four months and sixteen days,” Cameron said.
Lev stared at him. “I- I was only supposed to be gone a day,” Lev finally whispered. “I just- I just needed to think- where’s Nik?” He could feel his eyes welling up. “I didn’t mean to leave him that long.”
“He’s at the beach with Nate,” Cam said. “Amara’s here if you want to talk to her.”
Lev’s thoughts swirled too fast for him to catch. He pressed a hand to his stomach, felt the scarring there where it hadn’t been the last time he checked. “I don’t know,” he finally choked out. “I- no. She’s- Amara’s a lot, and I-”
“It’s fine. I’ll tell her to leave,” Cameron said simply.
“Can she visit tomorrow?” Lev asked in a small voice. “I need.... Time to process. I- I died?”
“She can come whenever you want,” Cameron said.
Lev nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said quietly. He closed his eyes, pressing his palm to his forehead.
“I’m going to wait a few days before I tell Nik,” Cameron said.
“Why?” Lev asked automatically.
Cameron lifted a brow. “Why do you think?”
After rubbing his forehead for a few minutes, Lev dropped his hands into his lap. “You don’t know if it’ll stick,” he finally said.
Cameron nodded. “I don’t want to get Nik’s hopes up.”
“How do we know if it will or won't?” Lev asked.
“I guess we’ll just have to find out,” Cameron said.
At that point, the door caught fire. Lev jumped, shrinking back. Ash stood in the doorway, looking annoyed.
“Well thank you for getting me,” Ash said.
“Let me make up for it by not killing you,” Cameron replied dryly.
Ash turned his brilliant green gaze to Lev. “It took you long enough,” Ash said. “You’ve been comatose for three days.”
Lev wrapped his arms around his middle. “I’m sorry?” Lev finally said. “I- I don’t remember that. But I’m sorry.”
Ash sighed irritably, and then said, “It’s fine.” He switched his attention to Cameron. “Leave. I need to check him over.”
Cameron looked at Lev expectantly. It took him a few seconds to realize that Cameron was waiting for Lev’s permission. “It’s fine. You- can you tell Amara to call tomorrow? Or- where is my phone?” Lev squeezed his eyes shut. “Just tell her I’ll find a way to talk to her tomorrow.”
Cameron inclined his head, and left.
Lev pressed his hand to his stomach again, tracing the new scars there and watching Ash worriedly. “I was comatose for three days?” he finally asked.
Ash started checking Lev’s vitals. “Yes. you were the equivalent of braindead.” He looked up at Lev. “Do you remember anything from that time?”
Lev shook his head. “No. Last thing I remember was Cameron getting hurt, and- and then I decided to take a day away from them to think, because-” He stilled, and grabbed Ash’s wrist. “Ash, I was- I was pregnant. The- the baby?” He could feel his voice getting smaller as his throat tightened. “Is there any way it survived?”
Ash looked almost defeated. “I’m sorry. There wasn’t anything that could be done.”
Lev swallowed whatever sound threatened to break free, and let go of Ash’s wrist. “You can’t tell Cameron.”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” Ash said. “Doctor patient confidentiality. Anything you tell me does not leave between us.”
Lev nodded, sucking in a few breaths. “I only- I don’t remember leaving, so I only knew for a few hours.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Ash said.
Once again, Lev took a few minutes to gather himself. “Am I okay?” he finally asked. “Cameron- he implied there’s a chance I’ll die again.”
Ash sighed. “Nothing is certain at this point. What happened to you hasn’t happened before.”
Lev nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said finally, sinking back against the pillows.
“Is there anything else you want to ask?” Ash asked.
“No,” Lev said quietly.
“How do you feel? Anything off?”
Lev considered that. “My head’s still weird. Almost spinny. Almost... fuzzy. And- I tried to puke when I- woke up? It’s settled, mostly, but- it’s not bad. Just- weird.”
Ash nodded. “I’ll get you set up on some iv fluids. Your stomach might be too sensitive for solid foods. Do you think you can stand?”
Lev hesitated. “I don’t know. I can try.”
Ash stood up, held up his hand. “I’ll be here if you fall. I’m going to make sure your muscles still work. Make sure you can stand.”
After nodding, Lev scooted to the edge of the bed. He stood, perhaps too fast, because he almost fell into Ash. “Sorry. I-” Lev found himself settled back on the edge of the bed.
“Don’t apologize. I’ve got you.”
“I tried too hard,” Lev said. “I want to try again.”
“Okay,” Ash said. He helped Lev up, lifting Lev’s arms around his neck, and held onto Lev’s waist.
Lev flushed, keeping his gaze firmly on Ash’s collarbone uncomfortably. Still, he was standing, and that was what mattered. Still, he felt... almost stiff. And he didn’t last long before he pulled away to settle on the edge of the bed again unsteadily.
Ash knelt, checking Lev’s legs over. Lev did his best not to squirm. He guessed explaining he was ticklish would not exactly amuse Ash. Instead, he said whatever came to his mind first. “Did I gain weight when I died?”
“Is that a bad thing?” Ash asked, looking up at Lev. Over the last few- well the last few months he’d been alive, anyway, he’d gained weight, even ignoring what Lev now realized was baby weight. The last time Ash saw Lev for any extended amount of time, Lev had been skin and bones. Skin, bones, and plenty of bruises.
Lev shook his head. “No,” he said softly. “I’m- I prefer it. Cameron helps me remember to eat. I feel healthy. And taken care of, when I’m with him.”
“Well. I’m sure the feeling is mutual.”
Lev snorted softly at that. The idea of Cameron ever needed to feel taken care of was a little out there.
“He seems to need to take care of someone to function. Amara’s been here to fill that quota.”
Lev blinked. “Amara’s been staying here?” Lev asked, reaching for a blanket to pull around his shoulders. And he told Cameron to send her away?
“Cameron fainted in front of us. He hasn’t been doing so hot. If you hadn’t noticed, Cameron lost a few pounds.”
Lev swallowed. “He’s not doing well... because I died,” he said slowly.
“No, he’s not been doing well because he doesn’t know how to grieve, and he’s been starving himself.”
Cameron was grieving because Lev died, but Lev knew that wasn’t going to go over well if he said it out loud, so instead he just looked at his hands.
“It’s not your fault you were murdered.”
“I know,” Lev said automatically.
“Do you?” Ash asked. “Then why do you look guilty?”
“I don’t know,” Lev admitted. “I- I guess I don’t know how else to be.”
Ash gave him a dry smile. “That might be something you should work on.”
Well. He wasn’t wrong. Lev nodded slowly. “Is there anything else you need to check?” he asked. “I- I want to see Cameron again.” He tucked the blanket closer.
Ash touched his face with the back of his fingers, and then his forehead. “Do you feel too cold or too hot?”
Lev blinked. “Cold,” he finally said. “I hadn’t noticed, I- I guess. It’s been like this since I- woke up? It feels weirdly normal. When I don’t think about it, at least.”
Ash nodded. “Any strange cravings?”
Lev shook his head. “No? I’m not really hungry either. A little tired, but- I don’t want to sleep. I’ve been out of... everything long enough, I think.”
Ash nodded. “I’ll go head and set up your IV. I want you on bedrest, but I also want you up walking around every now and then. Cameron or someone else needs to be with you at all times when you attempt to do so. Your meals will be liquid until your stomach settles and are able to eat more solid foods.” He stopped, cocked his head and thought. “I’ll suggest turning up the temperature- see if we can get your body temperature back to normal. Maybe some baths as well. If you notice anything strange, such as black outs, irregular habits or eating patterns, or anything else,, you call me as soon as you can. Are we understood?”
Lev nodded vigorously, enough his head started spinning a little. “Okay,” he said. “I will.”
“I’ll tell Cameron too,” Ash said.
“Probably a good thing,” Lev admitted.
“Probably,” Ash agreed.
---
After Ash decided to leave Lev to his care, Cameron then slipped inot the bedroom, but not before telling Amara to leave. She had a few choice words about it, words that Cameron decided to dismiss. Lev seemed a little shaken when he came into the room. “Everything alright?” he asked, mildly.
Lev gave him a small, pathetic smile. “Just… processing.”
“I’m sure there’s a lot to process.”
Lev figited a bit before saying, “It is.” he paused for a moment. “Is Nik mad? That I left?”
Cameron went to settle back down in the chair across from him. “No,” he finally said. “He was upset that you didn’t say goodbye. But other than that, he blames himself more than anything.”
Unsurprisingly, Lev looked upset. “It wasn’t his fault. I shouldn’t have left.”
“Hm.” Cameron leaned back, thrumming his fingers along the arm of his chair. “You made a choice,” he said. “There is no point in having regrets. What’s done is done. And now you’re back. I’m sure you can find a way to make everything up to Nik.”
“I will,” Lev promised. “I don’t know how, but I will.”
“I know,” Cameron said. He didn’t really leave Lev room for further promises. He was going to hold Lev to it. To all of them. “But first let’s make sure you survive the next week.”
Lev gave him a nod. “Do you think I will?”
Cameron thought about it. He better. “I think,” he said, “that if you do as you are told, and follow all of Ash’s orders and do not exhaust yourself, then you’ll still be alive this time next week. So yes. Providing you don’t do anything stupid.”
Lev gave another nod. “Can- you hold me? I’m cold”
“Sure.” Cameron moved the chair closer to the bed and moved to help Lev into his lap. He reached past Lev for one of the throw blankets and threw it around Lev’s shoulders, even if he wasn’t all too sure it would even help all that much.
Lev slipped his un-IV-ed arm around Cameron’s neck and pressed his head against Cameron’s shoulder. Cameron settled deeper into the chair and brushed his thumb along Lev’s neck.
“It feels like I miss this,” he said. “But last I remember you were just holding me yesterday.”
“Knowing you,” Cameron said. “I’m sure you’d miss this even if it were just yesterday.”
Lev seemed to consider that, and gave a small laugh. “Probably.”
“Your tastes seem to be completely intact,” Cameron said, dryly.
“Is it bad taste to like you?” he said, a little curiously.
“The absolute worst.”
“That’s awful mean.”
Cameron lifted a brow and looked down at him. “I am mean.”
“It’s okay if you’re mean to other people, but not to you. You’re not supposed to be mean to me, or you or Nik.”
“See, last time I checked, both you and Nik liked it when I am mean to you,” Cameron said. “You seemed to enjoy it a great deal.”
“That’s a different kind of mean,” Lev seemed compelled to point out.
“I think it’s time you went to sleep, Levant,” Cameron said.
In such a small voice, Lev said. “Do I have to? What if I don’t wake up?”
“You’ll wake up,” Cameron said, firmly.
Lev curled into him and held onto him tighter. “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
Cameron ran his thumb down Lev’s neck once more. “Yes,” Cameron said. “Now close your eyes.”
He did as told and closed his eyes. Cameron felt Lev settle, relax into him. Cameron checked to make sure Lev was fast asleep before carefully putting him back in bed, and going back to his office. Only when the door was shut did Cameron slump in his chair and scrub his face, letting out a long, tired sigh.
---
It was near two in the afternoon when Ash decided to come and wake Nik up. If he had been feeling just a little more irritable he would have kicked Ash in his stupid freckley face. Nik shoved past him and found his way to the kitchen, knowing damn well Ash was on his heel. He had went for the coffeemaker when Ash slipped a cup of tea in front of him. “Try this?”
“Excuse me? What part of my face even suggests that I will digest that disgusting leaf water you and Cameron call ‘tea’. I want my fucking coffee.”
“No,” Ash said. “Not until I talk to you.”
“And you couldn’t talk to me after I’ve had my coffee?” Nik demanded. “Or hell, even when I had my coffee?”
“No.”
Nik let out a long string of curse words in spanish before going to plop down on the stool at the island. “First you take my alcohol, and then Cameron won’t even let me go home, and now you’re taking my fucking coffee? You anal retentive assholes are going to suffocate me.”
Ash seemed perfectly unfazed at the level of venom in Nik’s words. Instead he just sat down across from him, green eyes glowing eerily as he watched Nik. Nik’s eyes narrowed. “Are you reading me?” Ash’s brow lifted so minutely Nik almost didn’t catch it. “What are you looking for? Drugs? Alcohol? Weed? I’m sober, Ash. What the fuck do you want from me.”
“I wasn’t checking for that,” Ash said, irritatingly calm. “I need to tell you something and I wanted to make sure everything was okay first.”
Nik’s eyes narrowed. “Well don’t keep me in suspense.”
“Have you noticed anything different recently? Lack of appetite? Being sick all the time? Being even more bitchy than usual?”
“It’s called being hungover, Ash.”
“Being hungover doesn’t last this long, Nik.”
“Maybe I have a cold,” Nik said, flatly.
“You’re an angel. You don’t get colds.”
“If you’re suggesting I’m pregnant, I’m going to have to tell you that you’re a dumbass. I haven’t slept with Cameron in over four months. You’d think even I would notice something like a pregnancy by now.”
“Nik,” Ash said, patiently. “Did you sleep with someone else? By chance? Maybe when you were drunk or high? I know you’ve gotten blackout drunk a few times in the last month and a half.”
“I-”
Nik’s mouth snapped shut and he went cold. Nausea burned through his throat and he got up and went straight for the washroom. He barely made it to the toilet before he heaved up his empty stomach. He pressed his forehead to the bowl, letting it cool down his scorching skin.
The last person-
That was the drug dealer. But if Destris had been masquerading as the drug dealer, did that make him….? Maybe- Destris had just been trying to provoke a response out of Nik, though he highly doubted it. Why would he give up such a prime opportunity to fuck one of Cameron’s omegas. And he had said yes. So. Then why did he feel so damn dirty.
Ash appeared in front of the doorway, leaning against the frame. His face was drawn, almost soft and a little heartbroken. “There are options, Nik. I’ll do whatever you want.”
Nik felt tears well up in his eyes and he scrubbed his face and fell back against the wall. “I want my boyfriend,” Nik said, voice breaking. “But- Nate. Where’s Nate?” Nik got up and went for the door. He couldn’t breathe and he needed to get outside to fresh air.
The sun was already working at full capacity and it was nice, though it did not help that he still felt like he was suffocating. Nik started pulling off his shirt and went straight for the very large pool in the back to cool off. Once he was in the water, he dunked his head and stayed under until his lungs protested. By the time he came back up for air, Nate was already sitting at the edge of the pool waiting for him. “Hey.”
Nik felt his face crumble at the tone that came from his brother and dropped his head in Nate’s lap, choking on a sob. Nate’s ringed fingers in Nik’s hair was just a little comforting, but it didn’t do much. Lips pressed to the top of his head. “Let’s take a drive.”
Nik blinked up at him. “Where- the ocean?”
Nate shook his head. “You’ll just have to trust me.”
---
Nate managed to get Nik at least a little bit dried off before getting him into the truck. Nik rolled down the window and absently chewed on his bracelets while he pulled out of the drive. Nate thrummed his fingers against the steering wheel in silence for nearly ten minutes, sneaking peeks at Nik next to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Nik yanked at one of the bracelets between his teeth. “What I want,” Nik said, “is something I can’t do. So no, not really.”
For some reason, Nate did not think Nik was talking about drugs or alcohol in the slightest.
“Why don’t you tell me why you decided to abscond me in the middle of my pity party?”
“Because I’m taking you home.”
That made Nik blink. “Home? Cameron said I can’t come home.” He did not miss the bitterness in that tone.
“Yes, well, Cameron can kiss my ass. They… wanted to wait, but. I think you need him- Lev.” Nik looked at him, and when he didn’t say anything, Nate said, “They tried a second time and it worked. But he only just woke up. They wanted to. Make sure it sticks first. But I thought, even if it doesn’t, you’d at least get a chance to say goodbye.”
All of that seemed to go right over Nik’s head. “He’s alive?”
“...Yes,” Nate said carefully. “But he’s in a… fragile state. So you can’t just jump him the moment you see him.”
That at least made Nik seem a little more hopeful, definitely better than the broken mess he had pulled out of the pool. But then he looked a little hesitant and frowned. “You’re not just saying this to pull me from the deep end are you?” he said, accusingly.
Nate lifted a brow at him. “When have I ever done something like that?” he asked, sharply.
Nik didn’t have an answer for him and looked out the window. He did not blame Nik for the lack of faith in him, but Nik should have known Nate would never lie about something like this, not to his hormonal brother.
----
Lev spent the day bored out of his mind. He didn’t want to fidget whenever Cameron was around, worried about concerning him, but Cameron wasn’t letting Lev be alone, and Lev appreciated that. He’d been there when Lev woke up in the morning. And when Lev took a nap after lunch, Cameron was there too. When Lev puke up half his breakfast and half his lunch, too, even when it was nothing but broth, Cameron hadn’t said a word, though Lev was sure he’d told Ash.
After swallowing his sigh, Lev scooted down, tucking his face in his pillow. Maybe he could take another nap. He’d proven to himself twice over now that he’d wake up, and he was bored.
“Lev?”
Nik’s voice startled Lev, and the way it cracked had Lev sitting up, too fast, but even though his head spun, Lev stared Nik down.
“Nik,” he finally said. “You’re here.”
Nik stared right back. “Is that okay?”
Lev nodded, but then said carefully, “They said they wanted to wait until- until they were sure I wouldn’t die again.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No!” Lev said quickly. “Please don’t. I’ve missed you.” He flicked a quick look at Cameron, unsure if this was okay.
Cameron nodded. Nik was across the room in a heartbeat, though he climbed onto the bed carefully. Lev scooted upright, and the moment he did, Nik was in Lev’s lap. Careful of his IV, Lev wrapped his arms around Nik.
“I missed you,” Lev said quietly.
“It’s been awful,” Nik said. If he was trying for playful, it fell horribly flat.
Lev stroked his hair. “I don’t remember it,” Lev admitted quietly. “Any of it. Last I remember was Cameron getting hurt, and- going to bed late.”
“You left,” Nik mumbled into Lev’s neck.
“I know,” Lev said softly. “I was planning on it. That night. And Cameron told me what happened... when I did leave.” He tucked his face against Nik’s head. “I was only supposed to be gone a day, total. Maximum. I didn’t- this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“You’re not allowed to leave again. I won’t let you.”
“I don’t want to.” He closed his eyes tightly. “I want to stay with you. Both of you. I- I don’t know what I decided the day I- died? But I know what I want now. I don’t care about- danger? I’m safe with both of you.”
“Then why did you go?” Nik asked.
“I had to think,” Lev tried, voice small. “There were- there was a lot- a lot to think about.”
“And you couldn do that in one of the million bedrooms in this house?” Nik asked petulantly.
“Nik, I’m- I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean to leave you.”
“I know.” he said. Nik’s face pressed against his neck a little more. “You’re cold,” he mumbled.
“I’ve been cold since… I woke up,” Lev said. “It’s not so bad when i don’t think about it.”
“I missed you,” Nik whispered.
Lev pressed a kiss to Nik’s hair. “I’m here now,” he said quietly. “And I’m not leaving again. I promise.”
Nik sniffled, and just clung tighter. Lev held onto him as carefully as he could, trying not to seem uncomfortable. Nik needed this.
Eventually he looked at Cameron. “Are we even going to try dinner?” he asked. “It’s not like I kept down the other stuff we’ve tried.”
“Yes,” Cameron replied flatly.
Lev nodded slowly. He wasn’t looking forward to puking it all up again, but if Cameron wanted him to try he’d try.
At that, Nik’s head snapped up, looking at lev. “Are you starving?”
Lev blinked. “I’m just adjusting still,” he said hesitantly. “And Ash has me on an IV for now...?”
Nik’s face tightened. “Then let’s get you something to eat now,” he said.
“I just puked three hours ago,” Lev protested.
“Are you hungry?” Cameron asked.
“A little, but... I don’t want to throw up again,” Lev admitted.
Cameron watched Lev for a long moment, and then at Nik, before saying, “I want you to try again.”
Lev nodded slowly. “Okay,” Lev agreed. He stroked Niks hair, and then blinked. “Your hair is green.”
Nik looked confused. He turned to look at Cameron, who shook his head.
“It was blue before-” Lev paused, and then stroked Nik’s hair again. “It looks good,” Lev said sulkily. “That’s all.”
“I always look good,” Nik mumbled against Lev’s shoulder.
“Yes you do,” Lev agreed, before looking at Cameron. “Can I eat in the kitchen?” He asked. He did his best to keep the pleading from his tone. Being in this bed was boring, and even just the kitchen would be a relief.
Cameron gave it some thought, and then said, “Alright.”
Even so, Nik looked downright panicky. “Can you walk?”
Oh. “I’m a little wobbly. Ash wants me to be careful.” Lev hesitantly reached up, cupping Nik’s cheek. “I’m fine. Just unused to being... alive. That’s all.”
Nik turned his face into Lev’s hand. “I’ll help you into the kitchen.”
A smile crossed Lev’s face. It was small, and a little forced, but he meant it either way. “I’d like that.”
Cameron stood up. Lev watched him go, before looking at Nik. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Nik’s forehead.
“Come on,” he said quietly. “Don’t tell Cameron but I’m already sick of bedrest. I want to get up.”
Nik slid off Lev’s lap. He helped Lev up, and said, “We should probably go. Cameron gets a little uptight.”
“I didn’t forget the months I lived with you two,” Lev said, amused. “Just my last day.”
He tugged the IV with him, let Nik pull his arm over Nik’s shoulders. The walk there was slow, and Lev could tell it was stressing Nik out. By the time Lev got to the kitchen, he was a little winded. He let Nik settle him in a chair. Lev held on Nik’s hand carefully, squeezing it gently.
When Cameron set a bowl down in front of Lev, Lev mumbled a thank you. Nik was served a bowl of the soup the broth had come from, and the both got soft white rolls as well. Without hesitation, Nik dug in. Lev watched him, at least until he realized Cameron was looking at him pointedly. A tiny sigh escaped Lev, but maybe this bowl would stay down, so Lev started taking small sips from his spoon. Only then did Cameron start eating as well.
After a few moments, Nik got up. Lev watched him retrieve a bottle of hot sauce, and wrinkled his nose.
“What?” Nik asked defensively.
Lev shook his head. “Nothing, nothing,” he said.
Nik wrinkled his nose and muttered under his breath in Spanish. Lev hid a smile unsuccessfully, and took another careful bite.
“How are you feeling?” Cameron asked, catching Lev’s attention.
Lev considered that for a long moment. “Better,” he admitted finally. “It’s... it's nice to get out of bed... and I missed meals with you two.”
If Cameron had anything else to say, Nik cut him off by standing abruptly, looking nauseous. Another moment later, and Nik bolted from the room. Cameron stayed with Lev.
“Is he okay?” Lev asked after a second, still debating if he should get up and hobble after Nik.
“It’s fine,” Cameron replied. “Now ask what you really want to ask.”
“Can- can you help me go check on him?” Lev asked.
Cameron nodded, helping Lev up. Lev grabbed the IV stand and tottered along with Cameron, leaning against him a lot more heavily than he had with Nik. They found Nik in the bathroom, curled around the toilet.
“Are you okay?” Lev asked, carefully getting to his knees beside Nik.
Nik groaned. “You’re the one who just came back from the dead, shouldn't I be asking you that?”
“I’ve managed to not throw up this time,” Lev said, petting Nik’s hair carefully. “You, on the other hand…”
‘’I’m fine,” Nik mumbled. “Just sick.”
Lev hesitated. “Angels don’t get sick,” he said softly, but just pressed a kiss to Nik’s forehead. “Do you want to go to bed?”
“It’s three in the afternoon. I just woke up, too.”
Lev hummed quietly, and pressed his cheek to Nik’s shoulder. “Okay,” he said. “What do you want, then?”
“I want food,” Nik said pitifully. “I’m hungry.”
“I can make you something else,” Cameron said from the doorway.
“Maybe the hot sauce was too much?” Lev suggested.
“You shut your mouth,” Nik said hotly.
“Ginger tea can help with upset stomachs?” Lev suggested. “And they make ginger candies, but I don't know that Cameron would have those.”
Nik groaned. “You want me to drink tea?”
“Just a little bit,” Lev wheedled. “It could help settle your stomach enough to eat.”
Nik muttered in Spanish defeatedly, before he said, “Fine.”
“Thank you,” Lev said quietly. He looked back at Cameron, who helped him up. Lev leaned on the counter, while Cameron helped Nik up as well.
Nik insisted on helping Lev back to the kitchen. To Lev’s smug surprise, the ginger tea did help. Nik was quite bitter about it, but he let Lev lean into him.
---
After Nik managed to get something down, Cameron had gone to carry Lev to bed for a nap while he stayed in the kitchen rummaging for red peppers. Cameron came back to start cleaning up the kitchen while Nik snacked at the counter. The crunch satisfied him enough to keep eating them. If Cameron was annoyed by it, he surely didn’t comment on it.
“So,” Nik said, “What all does Lev remember?”
Cameron continued wiping off the stove while answering, “Nothing. Woke up and thought it was the day he left.”
“Oof.” Nik leaned back. “Are, uh, you going to tell him?”
“I’m sure he’ll want to know eventually. Until then,” Cameron said, “no. Not my place, not my memories.”
“Okay, but I’m pretty sure he’d want to know that he told me to stay dead.”
“When he asks,” Cameron said, looking at him squarely, “I will tell him.”
Nik just crunched into another pepper and dropped it. He wasn’t so sure that Lev was going to take anything that happened well, and part of Nik didn’t want Lev to remember anything that had happened during the time he was dead. “Works for me.”
Cameron went back to cleaning and Nik went back to snacking. If Ash had been here nonstop over the last few days, there was probably a chance that they had… talked. “Did... Ash say anything?”
“About?” Cameron asked, mildly.
“Just. Anything, I guess?” Nik hedged.
Cameron flicked him a long look. “Just what to do to take care of Lev while he gets on his feet. And then to also not let you drink.”
Nik’s blood went cold for the second time today. “Why did he tell you that?”
Cameron lifted a slight shoulder. “No idea,” he said. “Perhaps he just wanted to keep you sober for your health.”
Hmm. “Well. He succeeded didn’t he.”
“I suppose so,” Cameron replied. “You’ll be staying that way until I say otherwise as well.”
“Yeah whatever,” Nik muttered under his breath, taking another bite of his pepper. “Is there anything you’re going to want me for because otherwise I’m going to go sleep.”
“I’ll wake you up for dinner,” Cameron said. “Put those away if you’re finished with them.”
Nik did as told and then went to Lev’s bedroom. Lev was out cold, but that didn’t stop him from crawling up into bed next to him and curling against his chilly skin and taking a nap right there with him.
---
Breakfast was in bed the next day, which lev was a little relieved about. Just going to the kitchen the day before had worn Lev out, and he’d slept heavily until dinner. Nik never left his side once, and he still hadn’t. After breakfast, Lev spent a good hour just curled up with Nik.
Ash showed up at some point. Lev looked up at him, kept his arm around Nik almost protectively. “Nate brought him,” Lev said almost defensively. Nik didn’t even stir.
Ash lifted a brow, “Did I say anything?”
Lev shook his head guiltily. “Are you here for a check up?” he asked to change the subject.
“What do you think?” He asked, dryly. “Do you want Nik in the room?”
Lev looked down at Nik. “It’s fine,” he said, brushing Nik’s hair from his face. “It’s not like he’s awake right now.”
Ash looked between them for a long moment. “Okay,” he finally said. “How did Nik react when he saw you?”
“He’s missed me,” Lev said, watching Nik sleep.
“Did he act differently than you’re used to?” Ash asked.
Lev nodded carefully. “He seems…” he trailed off for a few seconds. “Small,” Lev eventually said. “Young.” He swallowed, and then added, “Too much like me.”
If Lev didn’t know any better he’d think Ash looked grim. “Do you think Nik is stable enough to stay here, or does he need more care?”
Lev considered Nik for a while. “I think he’s… I think he’s okay here. He’s just been clingy. And he threw up yesterday, but ginger tea helped.”
Ash looked amused. “I see he drank your tea.”
“I said please,” Lev said, looking up.
“Uh-huh,” Ash said dryly. “Anything changed for you?”
Lev shook his head, and then paused. “Uh, I didn’t throw up breakfast today, or my snack yesterday either.” He fiddled with the blankets. “I kept dinner down, for the most part.”
“Has your diet changed in any way?” Ash asked.
Again, Lev shook his head, more firmly this time. “Nope. Cameron’s kept me on a strict diet of broth and a little bread.” He grimaced. “I know it’s important, but I’m honestly already tired of it.”
Ash smiled slightly. “Nobody likes broth.”
“I liked it just fine until it was all I could eat,” Lev complained, before flushing and saying quickly, “Sorry.”
Ash shrugged. “Why don’t we check on a few new things while I’m here.”
Lev nodded. “What do you want to check?”
“I want to see if you can still access your magic,” Ash said.
Lev nodded. With just a thought the room went dark. “Oh,” Lev said, startled. He reeled it back in with just as much ease. “Ohh,” he repeated, more delighted this time. “I’ve never had that much control over my magic before.”
“Well, I guess living in the shadows made you more in tune with them,” Ash said.
Lev held out a hand, shadows spilling over through his fingers. “Maybe,” Lev said, fascinated. “Look, I can even make them solid.” He offered Ash a little blob of shadow. “This is weird.”
Ash took it, peering at it. “Thanks.”
“I don’t know how long it’ll… stay physical? I’ve never been able to make it so easily.”
“I think Bay will help you figure it out,” Ash said.
Lev stilled blinking. “I missed four more months of training,” he said miserably. “Bay’s not happy about that, is he?”
Ash looked amused. “I’m sure you being dead will be a good enough excuse.”
“Oh,” Lev said. “When can I start training again?” He looked down at Nik. “I don’t want to die again. And I don't want Nik or Eden or Cameron getting hurt because of me. And what’s Destris going to do when he finds out I’m alive again?”
“You don’t have to worry about Destris. Amara killed him. He was the key ingredient for bringing you back from the dead.”
Lev blinked. “He’s dead?” Lev asked, startled. “They didn’t tell me that.”
“We’ve been a little busy, you know, making sure you’re still alive.”
“I wasn’t- it wasn't a criticism,” Lev promised.
“Oh, I know. But now you know.”
Lev nodded slowly, and then blinked. “Wait- it’s been four months. Is- did Bay have the baby?”
“Yeah… he had him on the day you died.”
“Oh,” Lev said. “And the baby’s okay?”
“He’s perfect,” Ash promised.
Lev relaxed, despite not realizing he’d tensed up in the first place. “Good,” Lev said firmly.
“His name is Lucas,” Ash offered.
“Do you have any pictures?” Lev asked hopefully.
“Here,” Ash said, handing over his phone, “I have plenty.”
Lev nodded, already scrolling. “Oh, he’s beautiful,” Lev breathed.
Ash smiled a bit. “More well behaved than Eden,” Ash said quietly.
“Is she doing okay at Bay’s?” Lev asked. “Cameron said she was staying with them.”
:She’s a little hellion, but that’s to be expected from Eden.”
“I miss her.”
“We can bring her by tomorrow.”
“I’m well enough for that?” Lev asked hopefully.
“For a little bit,” Ash promised. “I don’t want to exhaust you.”
Lev nodded quickly. “Okay.”
Ash gave him a long look in the eye. “If you exhaust yourself with this, it’s not going to happen again, understand? I don’t want you getting sick.”
“I understand,” Lev promised earnestly.
“You can stop pretending to sleep, Nikolas, I want to check you over too.”
Nik whined, burrowing into Lev’s side. “Leave me alone. I’m tired.”
“If Lev can see me when he’s just been brought back from the dead, you can wake up from your nap.”
Lev snorted softly, pressing a kiss to Nik’s hair. “This isn’t a nap. He hasn’t woken up yet this morning.”
“Narc,” Nik muttered pettily.
“I don’t lie, Nik,” Lev replied serenely.
“There's a difference between telling the truth and keeping information.”
Lev stilled, looking over at Ash. He pressed a kiss to Niks head again. “Okay.”
Ash nodded. “Lev, I think now would be a good to take your walk, and go bug Cameron.”
Lev blinked. He kissed Nik’s hair again, but eased out from underneath Nik. Nik whined, but let go of Lev. After snagging his IV stand, Lev made his way towards the door. Cameron was waiting for him, and led Lev down the hall.
“Is Nik okay?” Lev asked Cameron softly.
“Of course he is. He’s just been a little off.”
Lev stared him down thoughtfully. “Okay,” he finally said.
“Are you wanting a different answer?”
“I don’t want him to not be okay,” Lev said clearly.
Cameron held Lev’s eye contact steadily. “Nik is dealing.”
“Okay,” Lev said quietly. He looked around, and then said, “Cameron?”
“Yes?”
“I love you both,” Lev said quietly. “And I won’t leave you two again.”
Cameron looked away. “I know.”
A small, tired smile quirked Lev’s lips. He’d been around Cameron and Nik long enough to recognize what Cameron meant. “Good,” was all he said in reply, leaning against Cameron’s shoulder.
Tagging: @incandescent-creativity @idreamonpaper @solangelo3088 @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur @caelisis
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sun-summoning · 4 years
Text
@serafina-constantine​ -- re tinder au:  Aww I was hoping to get team sasuke’s reactions to them finally getting together 💖
ok here you go. everyone (not just team sasuke) is answering the same question: how do you feel about sasuke and sakura getting together?
i. karin and suigetsu
“wait, so why are we doing this?”
behind his video camera, naruto scowls at his cousin. his instructions were very simple and very clear and yet karin still needed to be a pain in the ass.
“because naruto wants to use this footage when sasuke marries sakura,” suigetsu replies instead.
“what the hell?” karin frowns. “is he...is sasuke going to propose to her? they’ve been dating for, like, five months!”
“the heart knows what it wants, karin.”
“the heart is illogical and--”
“sasuke isn’t going to propose!” naruto interrupts. “why would he do that?”
karin laughs. “the real question is why would sakura even accept?”
“true love?”
“tch.”
“anyway--” naruto clears his throat and nods to his camera. “answer my question.”
“answer mine!” karin snaps back. “tell the truth.” her smile turns devious. “are you actually going to try using this as retroactive footage at a wedding they’d have ten years from now? are you planning that far ahead? you loser.”
“of course not!” naruto denies. “and you’re definitely not giving me ideas!”
“what if you’re not his best man?”
“obviously i’d be his best man.”
“but he has a brother.”
“sasuke and itachi don’t have the same relationship that we do--you know what? just answer my question!”
finally, karin just sighs and looks at suigetsu. they both actually face the camera, now wearing looks of contemplation.
suigetsu goes first: “i didn’t really think he’d succeed.”
“really?”
“yeah, he’s so awkward, you know?”
“he is,” karin agrees with a wince.
“also, i assumed she’d just slap him? or get a restraining order?” suigetsu scratches his head. “i don’t know man--the whole thing was just a bit...weird. ya know?”
“but it was true love,” naruto says.
“maybe to sasuke. but maybe to a sensible girl that was just creepy.”
“maybe you’re wrong.”
“do you want my opinion or not?!”
karin shoves suigetsu and sends naruto a glare to stop him from fighting for sasuke’s honour as a stalker.
-
ii. hinata
hinata’s hands, previously stuffed into her pockets if naruto recalled correctly, were currently in front of her. she was in the process of trying to dislocate her fingers or something as she took quick nervous breaths.
“um.” naruto smiles at her and she turns red. “we can just, like, not do this if you’d prefer?”
“i--it’s okay!” she replies. “how do i feel about sasuke getting together with the girl he liked?” she grins, but it’s shaky and so clearly uncomfortable. “i’m glad.”
“that’s it?”
she blinks. “were you...expecting more?”
naruto grunts a goodbye and goes off to find someone shadier.
-
iii. shikamaru
shikamaru actually laughs in naruto’s face.
when he settles down, he shakes his head. “naruto, you wildly overestimate how much i care about sasuke’s love life.”
-
iv. juugo
“sasuke’s dating our bio tutor?” juugo scratches his head. “aw man! do you think she gives him a discount?”
“you make her sound like a prostitute, juugo.”
-
v. itachi and mikoto
naruto manages to get reactions from sasuke’s brother and mother when they find each other outside sasuke’s graduation ceremony. he’s off somewhere with fugaku taking photos of him like the proud father he is. and, if naruto saw correctly, sakura even stopped by briefly to leave a nice dusty rose mark on sasuke’s cheek.
“i’m pleased that he found his way to his tinder girl,” itachi tells naruto. “sakura makes sasuke very happy.”
“tinder?” mikoto echoes. “is that a game?”
itachi, the biggest whore naruto’s ever met, smiles softly. “something like that, mother.”
naruto makes a face of disgust. “have you met sakura yet, mrs. sasuke’s mom?”
mikoto raises an eyebrow at them. “naruto, i met sakura before all of you.”
“you did?”
“the work ethic in that girl is astounding. and she’s positively brilliant. she’s worked with some of the best researchers in our field--”
“this is boring,” naruto interrupts. he lowers his camera. “are you taking us out for dinner to celebrate that sasuke actually succeeded?”
mikoto shakes her head fondly. naruto’s been part of their family since he met naruto in primary school, so of course he’s invited.
-
vi. ino
“look at this bullshit.”
ino holds up her phone to show naruto sakura’s instagram page. among photos of various landscapes and meals and selfies, naruto notices a few with sasuke. quite a few with sasuke.
“aww.” he enlarges one of them and coos at the image of sakura smiling in a field of sunflowers with sasuke standing beside her looking as constipated as ever. “they’re so cute!”
“i know right!” but ino’s grin soon morphs into a scowl. “but he’s always around!”
“i mean he mostly just sits there on his phone looking at neko atsume. he’s actually really forgettable.”
“can i live?!” ino snaps. then she stops, her jaw dropping and her eyes widening. “fuck my life,” she whispers. “i’ve been spending so much time with sasuke through his stalking and then when sakura actually deigned to date him that i’m...picking up his habits.”
naruto pats her on the shoulder. “remember when we were younger and i used to say ‘believe it’ a lot?”
“yeah, i wanted to rip your tongue out.”
“okay, rude.”
“it was annoying--”
“let me get to the point!” naruto clears his throat. “anyway, one time sasuke said it too and it was basically the highlight of my adolescence.”
“that’s sad.”
“don’t be a bitch because you’re turning into sasuke.”
“i guess he’s alright,” ino concedes as she looks at her nails. “he’s a total loser and he’s so awkward, but...” she shrugs. “he makes sakura smile.”
-
vii. neji and tenten
“to be clear, we were never on this ‘team sasuke’ or whatever insipid name you’ve chosen as of two minutes ago.” neji hyuuga takes a sip of his tea for good measure. “but, i suppose, sasuke is an acceptable choice.”
beside him, tenten wears a tense smile. “what neji means to say is that we’re happy for them.”
naruto nods, uncomfortable in the presence of sakura’s friends. they were never really part of the tinder-turned-stalking phase of sasusaku beyond their comments on sakura’s instagram (to naruto’s knowledge, at least).
“are you though?”
neji opens his mouth to reply, but immediately grunts, and judging by the way he’s wincing, naruto can only imagine tenten attacked him under the tale.
“yes,” neji replies curtly. “so, so happy.”
-
viii. sakura
“how do i feel about sasuke and i getting together?” sakura echos, staring at him as though he’s the one who’s weird. “he makes me--” sakura shrugs. she looks down. “i’m happy?”
“why do you sound unsure?”
“i’m not unsure. i’m just uncomfortable.” she gestures to his phone. “you’re literally recording this.”
“i’m--” 
technically, footage of sakura wouldn’t be totally necessary to have in whatever video he might make ten years from now when sasusaku get married. sure, sakura saying how she’s super in love with sasuke (or whatever) would actually be a pretty cool ending to that potential video, ino had a pretty good line he could use there. 
sighing, naruto turns off his camera and puts his phone down the table. 
sakura nods in approval. “for the record, i know how the whole story went.”
“oh?”
“yes, from the tinder swiping to itachi’s little bet to him being afraid that i’m the type of girl who says i’m not like most girls.”
“yeah, he was scared of that.” naruto clears his throat. “also, i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
sakura rolls her eyes. 
“wait, so you know about all the stalking?”
she winces. “i hate that word.”
“sorry? i’m not the one who invented language though?”
“let’s go with recon.”
naruto waves a hand. “fine. so you know about all the recon?”
she nods and takes a sip of her drink. “sasuke told me. i think he figured it’d be better to tell me himself than let anyone else tell me instead.”
“controlling the narrative. smart boy.”
“hm?”
“nothing. scandal. anyway--” he taps his chin. “how come you aren’t, well, upset?”
that makes sakura laugh. she throws her head back and when the giggles peter down, the grin she wears is downright devious. “because then i’d be a hypocrite.” she winks at him. “do you really think i didn’t do my own research on sasuke when i finally got more information about him at ino’s party?” she leans in closer. “or that after we actually started dating, i didn’t do my research on his friends and family, naruto?”
naruto fights down a shudder. “what. the hell.”
“social media is a terrifying thing.”
-
ix. sasuke and naruto
naruto has already burrowed himself on the other side of sasuke’s bed, too scared to sleep on his own after a full day of reading creepy stories on r/nosleep. 
“i’m going to die.”
“you’re being an idiot.”
“no, i think there’s a ghost girl who’s going to come for me!”
sasuke makes the usual show of demanding naruto leave, but naruto just swaddles himself even more until sasuke goes to retrieve another blanket for himself. he throws that on the bed and laughs a little when it hits naruto.
naruto watches as sasuke goes about his evening routine from plugging in his phone to watering the succulent on his desk to putting it on his window sill so it can watch the sunrise. when he settles on the bed, he takes his phone back out like a classic millennial and opens his chat with sakura.
“i’m right here,” naruto tells him.
“but if i ignore you hard enough, you might disappear.”
“your life would be the worst without me.”
“it’d definitely be quieter.”
“and more boring!” naruto pokes him. “you should be more grateful, asshole. i’m the one who helped you find your tinder girl.”
“tch, no you didn’t.”
“you whored me out!”
“you would have whored yourself out either way.”
“you take that back!”
sasuke easily ignores him to message his ~*~girlfriend~*~. naruto wants to be insulted, but he can’t really blame sasuke. sasuke has always been terrible -- terrible -- at building and maintaining relationships. the fact that he now has a girlfriend who thinks he’s slightly more than passable as a human being is a wonderful thing. 
when sasuke finally turns off the screen of his phone, the room goes dark. naruto presses his head against sasuke’s shoulder partly because he’s feeling affectionate but mostly because he’s scared of the dark after all those creepy stories on reddit. 
he ignores the way his best friend grunts. “hey sasuke?”
“hm?”
naruto pauses. they don’t do mushy, but naruto wants to tell him, “i’m really happy that you found sakura.”
“oh.” he hears sasuke shift as he nods. “me too.”
“she’s a good match for you. and she’s...nice. she really likes you.”
“yeah.” sasuke clears his throat. “i. um. i really like her too.”
“good.”
“naruto?”
“hm?”
“thank you,” while normal people might go in for a hug in this moment, sasuke shoves naruto back to the other side of the bed, “for helping me find sakura.”
“of course.” he’ll always have sasuke’s back, and he knows sasuke will always have his. 
naruto grins up at the darkened ceiling, unafraid of the potential of ghost girls looming down on him -- not with his best friend by his side. 
179 notes · View notes
carsonshawson · 4 years
Note
For soft!Villanelle—5 years later, after the Villanelle goes through a spree across Europe and finally dismantles the 12, and Eve just welcoming V home with open arms.
she didn’t think she’d be this nervous.
she’s never nervous.
people like her don’t get nervous.
but now, her clammy hands grip the cab door handle and nearly slip off, and she is proving all the psychology textbooks wrong.
it wasn’t hard to find her new address. a quick google, and eve’s name showed up in an article about her receiving an award for her work in taking down an international terrorist conspiracy. she’s the head of her own department at mi6. carolyn martens was fired shortly after she was charged with treason for trading state secrets with other nations and organizations.
villanelle phoned the department, disguising her voice as a bubbly british government official looking to mail a certificate to eve’s home. the assistant, who sounded remarkably like elena, gave it to her easily, and villanelle wondered if she knew who she actually was.
they haven’t spoke in the five years since the shooting. a text message here or there about the locations of safehouses for high ranking members of the 12, but nothing more. she never tried to communicate further. she was afraid. afraid eve wouldn’t forgive her.
but most of all, she was embarrassed. embarrassed of her actions. the hurt, the pain and rejection, she couldn’t handle it, and she dealt with it the only way she knew how. and god what a stupid fucking decision that was.
she turned around after a few steps, realizing her mistake. she ran faster than her legs could carry her and scooped eve’s unconscious body into her arms. she carried her outside the ruins, hot wired a car, and sped to the hospital as fast as she could. eve was just starting to gain consciousness as she placed her outside the emergency room entrance.
she let out an audible groan when villanelle propped her up.
villanelle pulled her close, burying her face in her hair. “i’m sorry. i didn’t—“
eve doesn’t let her finish. “i know.” she coughs and looks villanelle in the eyes. “i know.”
she slowly cocks her head at the car, and villanelle takes the signal to leave. she gets up, stiff, and climbs back in the vehicle. she can feel eve’s eyes burning into her as she turns the ignition.
eve recovered, obviously. villanelle would call the hospital every day for updates, each time using a different accent and name for both her and eve’s amusement. then, a few months later, she received a long text from eve, describing how she planned to take down the 12 using a new informant, and she needed villanelle’s help to take care of the less legal aspects. villanelle agreed. she would always agree.
so began a partnership of few words. an address, a name, a picture. and villanelle would be off. she snapped their necks one by one over the course of five years. she thought of eve for every moment of it. until it was over.
she debated contacting eve for weeks after she killed the last of the 12. she wondered if eve forgave her. if she still wanted her the way she once did.
it was the article that made the decision for her. eve’s bright smile as she accepted her award for her service to the country. villanelle traced her thumb over the outline of her lips, and now she is in a car outside eve’s new london flat.
the cabbie clears his throat, annoyed. “we’re here. are you going to get out or should i keep the meter going?”
villanelle shakes her head and shoves a wad of bills into his palm. “keep the change.”
“th-th-thank you, ma’am,” he sputters as she climbs out, slamming the door behind her.
the journey to the front door is treacherous. sheer willpower drags her feet forward. her heart attempts to claw it’s way out of her chest.
she shakily raises a finger to the doorbell. and honestly, this nervous feeling kind of sucks. she remembers when she couldn’t feel things. the overwhelming numbness and boredom. now, she feels so much, and she realizes being normal is fucking annoying. here she is, a cold blooded killer, terrified to talk to a woman who can barely shoot a gun.
but, she guesses, eve is more than that.
she takes the leap and presses the bell. it rings loud and clear, and she hears footsteps flurry from upstairs.
“coming!” a voice calls. villanelle freezes. she’s back at the hospital again. i know, eve says, i know.
before she has time to react, the door swings open, revealing a disheveled eve. she wears a loose t shirt and a pair of joggers. her hair is down but in complete disarray. she’s holding at least 2 packed binders in her arms.
and god, is she beautiful.
eve raises her eyebrows, but is clearly not surprised to see villanelle at her doorstep.
“hi,” villanelle manages past the lump in her throat.
“hi,” eve replies.
they stare at each other for a couple seconds.
“you called my office. elena told me.”
villanelle nods slowly, eyes caught on eve’s lips.
eve steps to the side and turns her head away. “do you want to come in?”
villanelle blinks in surprise. “yes.”
“okay.” eve opens the door wider, and villanelle crosses the threshold.
the inside of the flat is very eve. it’s walls are bare, papers and photos are strewn across every surface. there’s some old takeout containers on the countertop. eve looks sheepish.
“sorry for the mess. it’s been crazy.”
“i don’t mind.” villanelle glances around more, appreciating her idiosyncrasies.
silence again.
eve runs a hand through her hair. “you look the same.”
“so do you,” villanelle smiles back.
eve laughs. “oh god no. i must be almost completely gray at this point. me and hair dye have become best friends.”
villanelle shakes her head, stepping closer, palms still sweaty. eve sucks in a breath but doesn’t move.
“you look beautiful,” she murmurs, desperately wanting to touch her. she refrains for the time being.
brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, eve puts her gaze to the ground. “thank you.” her voice is lower than before.
she jerks her head to the mess of a kitchen. “do you want water or a drink? some champagne maybe?”
villanelle chuckles. “i am okay, eve.” she tries to act blasé and hopes it isn’t abundantly clear she doesn’t know what she’s doing. around her, she never does.
“i poured some wine before so i’m just gonna...” she makes a gesture to a mug sitting on the countertop.
“please go ahead.”
eve pads over and takes a sip. “it’s over, huh. weird, isn’t it?”
villanelle follows. “it is.”
“what will you do now? there’s no one left to kill.”
“oh eve,” villanelle sighs. “there’s always people to kill.”
eve snorts into her mug. “i guess that’s true.”
“but,” villanelle shrugs off her coat and puts it over a chair with a metric ton of papers stacked onto it, “i’m thinking of retiring. or at least, a long vacation.”
“yeah?” eve takes a big sip. “where will you go?”
they lock eyes.
“i don’t know. i was thinking alaska. i haven’t forgotten about it.”
“mm.” eve muses. her sip turns into a swig.
villanelle clenches her teeth, drinking in eve’s appearance, her smell, her everything. she decides to open the floodgates because she might as well. “remember what you told me in my apartment? that day you stabbed me.”
“i remember.” eve’s expression is unreadable. it’s ironic because the diagnosed psychopath wears her heart on her sleeve, but this seemingly normal woman can hide herself in plain sight.
villanelle takes a deep breath.
“i haven’t stopped thinking about you.”
she doesn’t dare look at eve. she’s too afraid of what she’ll see. anger. rejection. amusement. all possibilities at this point.
she hears eve’s mug clatter as she puts it down. suddenly, eve’s body is next to hers. they haven’t been this close since rome. heat radiates off of her, their chests almost touching.
she feels a cool palm on her cheek, turning her head in eve’s direction, gently but with purpose, so she is forced to look at eve in the eyes.
the shorter woman is staring at her, ferocity burning in her expression. one of the things villanelle loves about her.
“me neither.” eve whispers. villanelle feels herself tremble and silently scolds her body for betraying her.
“i’m sorry.” villanelle echoes the words she said five years ago on the emergency room steps. a tear rolls down her cheek.
arms wrap around her in a tight hug. eve’s pulls her close, squeezing as much as possible as if to stop the tremors wracking through her. villanelle wraps her fingers in eve’s hair and soaks her in.
“i know.” eve’s breath is hot on her neck. “i know.”
and villanelle knows too. she knows.
55 notes · View notes
jungnoir · 6 years
Note
are you accepting requests? if you are, please write fluff for jaemin or jisung from nct!! idc what but i noticed they don’t have anything and i love them uwu thanks
friends to lovers!jaemin and jisung
a/n: I’m not accepting requests but… I’m also bored and stuck on everything else so here’s this tiny thing
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��JAEMIN⎦
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the annoying spicy best friend and boy next door until senior year
you guys lived right next to each other so of course you always hung out!! despite going to the same school and spending the whole day together already, you spend even more time with each other when you get home
you’d beg your parents to allow you both to play in the front yard and kick balls around or play hide and seek in jaemin’s huge backyard until dinner time and even sometimes past that
as you both got older, you’d get to hang out later, so you’d both chill in jaemin’s hammock in the late evening because you both were small enough to fit and tell each other funny or scary stories while the bugs left bites littered over your arms and legs (not that you really cared until you went home and couldn’t stop scratching)
you never thought of jaemin in a different way, though everyone else thought you did
play fights were commonplace between you two so whenever you’d get particularly rough with each other ur friends would be like “lol there go the lovebirds
and it was gross
it was…
gross
?
it was gross up until high school when your hormones kicked in and hey. jaemin is kinda gross. you still remember when he used to plant boogers on your locker handle or tackle you in sweaty arms if he lost to you in a game of kiddy basketball
but now jaemin doesn’t look like scrawny, stinky little jaemin anymore
no, now he can pick you up off the ground with two arms around your waist and laugh in your ear about how you should be more aware of your surroundings
now when he ruffles your hair he follows up with gently patting down the stray hairs, both hands smoothing down from the crown of your hair to the tops of your ears to the curve of your neck
now when he gives you those dark, mischievous eyes and asks “can I stay over tonight?” you can’t say you don’t shiver
you remember a time when you both were so young and so close that your parents would give you baths together for pete’s sake
and now you can’t even stand in your bedroom, ten feet away from each other, and look each other in the eye
he sits on your bed, slouched and flipping through channels on your tv
but when he sees you enter in just a pair of shorts and a giant shirt (his, though it’s been years since he’d last seen it)… he doesn’t quite remember what he was so focused on doing a few seconds ago
“…did you find a movie?” you ask softly, padding over to the other side of your bed as he immediately sits up and draws his long limbs to his sides
“oh! uh… no dice. maybe we should just rewatch something you have here?”
you shrug, point to the popcorn he’s got on your nightstand, and allow yourself a silent heave of air when he’s not looking your way anymore
he retrieves a movie you two have watched so many times before that you can recite the words together and not miss a beat
so it. it feels different tonight. somehow
there’s just a bowl of popcorn separating your hands from finding the other’s and this odd tension in the air that was birthed the minute you walked into your room after telling jaemin you were just gonna “change into something movie night-worthy”
you two don’t end up throwing yourselves over each other like usual, being deliberately annoying and clingy just to make the other person laugh
the movie is about halfway through when jaemin suddenly moves the popcorn to the floor and rolls onto his side, resting his head on his fist as he stares at you
“what?” you ask, v aware of the warmth he’s giving off now that there’s no barrier between you
“nothing”
“it’s gotta be something if you’re just staring at me for no reason” you drag your knees up to your chest to somehow make yourself smaller under his gaze, even to bury your cheeks between your knees so that you could make sure he didn’t see the little twitch in your lip, the want to laugh nervously or spout out some ridiculousness to get him to stop looking at you building up in your tummy
“can’t I just look at you for no reason?” he scoots a little closer, maybe attempting to look funny to you as he says this but,,, he’s doing a really bad job of it
because he doesn’t look funny. if anything, he looks kind of… what is the word?
you bite your lip, “sorry, gotta pay to look”
“what’s your preferred currency, honey?”
oh my GOD shut up jaemin
you push at his chest, trying to ignore how your hand annoyingly remembers the mold of it even after you’d touched him
“silence” you joke, watching as he licks his lips and sits up so that he’s level with you
he reaches forward and cups your chin, glancing between your eyes and your lips
he isn’t even subtle about it
your mouth parts unconsciously, a sudden understanding to this tension you’ve both been feeling hitting you hard
jaemin resists the urge to run his thumb over your bottom lip when it gets released from you teeth, if only to spend this next moment looking at your face
and he’s not even surprised that you can feel it too
“you’ll have to be specific, there’s all kinds of silence”
you don’t know what this is
no, scratch that, you know exactly what it is, but you don’t know if you want to admit it to yourself yet
maybe you could get away with that for now
neither of you would hold it against the other if you just. tried it out once, right?
and so you lean in that much closer, breaths mingling unavoidably now
“getting specific enough for you?”
of course not
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⎡JISUNG⎦
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idk why i’m so obsessed with this visual of gamer!jisung but hear me out
gamer!jisung, best friends with your best friends aka the other dreamies, but probably the only one you can never get close to
besides the fact he’s a certified bully to the boys, you’re the only one that he isn’t… silly with
like he’ll have renjun in a headlock and then make eye contact with you and the mood immediately dies
you’ve asked each of the boys what the problem might be
are u scary? are u not his type of person to hang around? was he still put off by that time you body slammed mark into a wall?
ok you didn’t actually body slam him but he swears he felt his feet leave the ground for a moment
not your fault he has the weight of a singular macaroni noodle
jisung always talks to you respectfully and if he can, talks to you through the others
it wasn’t… fun… having jisung treat you this way
he was always your favorite not that you have favorites *ahem* forgive me, donghyuck *ahem* so it was v :///// u know
you really wanted him to be able to treat you like he treated the other boys!! because you’d gladly treat him the way you treat the others if only you had the CHANCE
or at least you’d like to know why he didn’t so you could have some kind of closure
jisung happens to run a gaming club at school, and with permission, the “club” (which mainly consisted of all of you) would stay behind after classes and play together in one of the abandoned classrooms
you always had to play against the others bc jisung never wanted to give anyone (you) the floor to challenge him
so one day, you just decide that you’ll sit in and observe jisung play against donghyuck in overwatch
and donghyuck is obliterating jisung
you’ve never seen donghyuck this good, getting excited enough to run over to donghyuck’s side and cheer him on
you place your hand on donghyuck’s shoulder
and jisung looks away from the screen for just one second to see it
right then, donghyuck destroys jisung with a victorious yell
of course, you’re both caught up in the excitement of the moment so the first person he hugs is you
and this is pretty normal for you guys; between wrestling around and being affectionate, it was never weird to receive a hug from anyone except jisung
then you hear a controller clatter to the floor and by the time you’ve peeled away from donghyuck at the loud sound, you see jisung storming out of the classroom
the other boys looked shocked, some even looking between each other, unsure what to do
you notice chenle about to offer to go after him when you stop him, “i’ll go calm him down… he’s probably just upset about the match, you know how he gets”
chenle nods for you to go, gnawing lightly on his bottom lip
you find jisung sitting on the stairs outside the school exit, his head resting in his hands as the evening grows later
the sun nearly blinds you as you move to sit next to him, mulling over what to say
after all, you two weren’t that close in the first place. surely you were the last person he wanted to see right now
without looking up, jisung begins grumbling, “I know, okay? you don’t have to lecture me about it”
you blink
you weren’t planning to lecture him at all!
“I know that it’s stupid to get upset but the game was getting to me and-”
you’re about to cut him off, tell him it’s okay, that it’s just a game and some people get upset about those things but that you all knew it wasn’t that deep
“-you know how much I’m crushing on (y/n)… when I saw them cheering for hyuck, I just lost all focus. it’s pathetic. I wish I could just man up and tell them instead of avoiding them all the time”
oh
jisung… didn’t know it was you
he sounds so distraught too, like he was upset he let himself get angry, upset he let you see him show emotion
you place a hand on jisung’s shoulder and instantly he tenses. you think it’s because he wasn’t expecting a touch but it’s because he knows this hand doesn’t belong to the others
so it had to be…
“it’s not pathetic. if anything is pathetic, it’s that it’s taken donghyuck this long to finally win against you in a game, and even then, you were distracted so it technically doesn’t count”
jisung raises his head and his eyes look rimmed red, frustrated
but his expression is gentle when he sees the caring look on your face
“…hyuck would kill you if he heard that” he mumbles, looking down at his hands
you just giggle and bump his shoulder with yours, “ah, I know. but he also knows you’re my favorite so…”
jisung looks back up at you in shock. “f-favorite?”
you hum, moving your hand from his shoulder to the one furthest from you, wrapping an arm around him so that he has to lean into you. he’s never been so close but it’s. nice. your shampoo smells. nice 
“you don’t think it’s weird? what I said?” jisung looks a little mortified when he remembers that he’d just confessed to you, albeit unknowingly, and you were acting like everything was ok
you look back over to him and shake your head, “not at all… I hope this means you’ll stop avoiding me, though”
jisung doesn’t know how to feel at first; he had always assumed that telling you about his crush would either result in you returning his feelings or cutting off all contact with him
but instead, you don’t do either. you just watch the sunset with him, holding onto him
he also sees that you’re just as wonderful as he thought you’d be. you haven’t told him that you return his feelings but he doesn’t feel terrible at all. if anything, he feels ten times lighter after realizing he never had to hide from you in the first place
he checks to see that you’ll let him before wrapping his arm around your waist and offering you a sheepish smile, “sounds good to me”
besides, he may think you don’t return his feelings, but it’s just a matter of time until he realizes the truth about that too
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Dearest V,
it's been almost one year since we last spoke, so I guess our lives might have changed a bit since then...
I hope you've had a peaceful holiday season with your family – speaking of whom, the warmest of greetings and best of wishes to them – may your parents and your cat have a wonderful and healthy start to this decade.
I went head-first into last year thinking I'd see greater changes by the end of it, but, as Oli put it quite concisely, "then I found out how hard it is to really change" – for example, I had quit smoking weed in summer and started to enjoy life free from it, only to start toking again three months later when my mental wellbeing started spiralling downwards again... in the end I have to admit that while I may have felt like I could make a meaningful change in my life, I'm still sitting around trying to find out of my depressive ways, and I'm growing more and more unsure by the day that going back to who I once was is an option at all... after all, people grow up, and I guess part of who we are is determined by our experiences... I should definitely try to seek professional help this year, so maybe over time I'll be able to create the version of myself that I need to be so I can finally stop being down all the time. While that means I may not exactly be "past me", I sincerely hope you'll like whatever person I'm going to be then.
The years we've spent side by side have shaped me in a number of ways, some healthier and some unhealthier. On the upside, obviously, there's the hundreds of memories that we've shared and that I still like to look back on every once in a while (even though I'm slightly concerned about how many of those involve weed and / or booze), the music you've introduced me to (I still enjoy your Spotify mix every now and then) and so on. What's probably more on the unhealthy side of things and might sound a bit crazy is that, interestingly enough, I still sometimes feel like you're watching my every move, judging every single thing I'm doing, and it's driving me nuts. I don't know the exact reason and it confuses me... on the one hand it's kind of annoying and a bit restrictive, and on the other hand I just want to figure out where exactly that comes from. I guess part of it is because of what I've experienced over the past years, the numerous occasions on which you've trash talked the time I've spent in relationships with other people to feel better about yourself. Then again, maybe part of me just wants you to still care, when the rational part in me reckons you probably you don't care about me anymore – I mean, why would you, you can do so much better. I don't think I'll find answers for now, more stuff to discuss with a therapist once I've found one, I guess. Then again, maybe it'll help me make saner decisions for the moment, I don't know. What I do know, though, is that I'm done with this whole trash-talking business, that is, if we start talking again, please just let me decide for myself what to make of my past... I hope this didn't sound too harsh, it's just something I might've left unsaid for too long. Oh well, and speaking of long-lasting impact, then there's like hundreds of things that still evoke your memory anyway, whether that's any mention of anything related to law school, or the former capital, or still wearing the things you gave me, or, oh yeah, living in the same flipping part of town. Also reminds me, I still haven't touched the new BoJack episodes or the Chris-chan documentary yet... watching TheOdd1sOut's Sooubway part 4 without you feld weird enough, somehow. I guess it goes without saying that there has hardly been a day this year that I haven't thought of you at least in some way, mostly thinking about how awkward it would be to run into each other on the streets, whether we'd exchange words and what the hell I'd have to say about how my life was going and what I've learned or accomplished and so on if that became the case. It obviously didn't, but I still spent some time thinking about what I'd have to say and it was interesting to observe how it changed over the year. I guess you were right about some things, first and foremost about how I should try to get myself up from the fucking ground first before attempting to build up anything in life.
That being said, there are two major milestones I've reached last year, and I hope you're at least a bit proud of me – I've used the spring semester to finally complete my mandatory internship, coding for a software company that was a pleasure to work for, and they offered to hire me as a working student right away and as a proper engineer once I finish uni. Anyway, since the office isn't exactly close to uni, I've decided for now to keep working at uni for two more years. They have been quite understanding and the offer to hire me again still stands. Since I could definitely see myself working in software development after uni, I have started working towards a proper computer science bachelor's degree which I'll pursue in parallel with my usual master's. And, what might surprise you even more, believe it or not, I've been smoke-free for more than 7 months now, and I'm making damn sure I'm not touching another cigarette or anything else containing nicotine again – fuck off, big tobacco! I almost also managed to finish my bachelor's degree, but my assigned thesis topic was so cryptic and far off from what I expected that I ended up not handing in anything at all... but I'm making sure to finish in a second attempt before the next semester starts, wish me luck!
Anyway, how's your 2019 been? Is everything alright at uni? Have you passed the bar yet, and how's your internship situation (been) going? Also, I've heard that the houseshare didn't work out (it really sucks to hear that), did you find another nice place to stay near uni and how do you like it? How's your bass journey coming along? I hope you're still having fun with the bass and I'd love to hear some of the riffs you've been rocking out to one day. (Speaking of rocking out – I don't know whether he told you, but Sebi and I have been trying to start a band for a while now. While we somehow procrastinated our way around it almost all year until recently, we've started jamming and recording voice memos, so who knows, maybe we'll have written some kick-ass tunes soon.)
Lest I forget, speaking of 2019... a very belated happy birthday! Whether or not to contact you for your birthday was a harder decision than you may think... in the end I decided to keep at a distance and not leave a message, I still hope you've had a great time (at least it probably won't have been a disappointment like the times I've been involved) so make damn sure to enjoy your remaining time at 22... because you know what Blink-182 has to say about them darned 23-year-olds.
Quick change of topic, politics is the same clusterfuck as always, isn't it? When the 12/12 general elections were announced, I was hoping so badly that Great Britain might be coming to its senses... and then the results were out, oh boy. Well, if this is what the Brits truly want, then good riddance, I guess... also, I hope the Americans won't make the same mistake this year but I'm not too sure about that... but at least the old fucker finally got impeached, about time. I know senate is likely to acquit him, but I don't want to think about that just now... for now, let's just stick with "they've finally got him."
Enough for now, I hope this note reaches you someday – if you feel like replying, just interact with this post, leave me a PM or so, you'll find a way. Just know that I still don't quite feel like I'm ready to take contact back to a normal level just yet, so it might take me the usual couple of weeks to reply in case there's anything you want me to reply to... until then I'll just go back to lurking in the shadows, trying to figure out my life while checking in on your Tumblr every once in a while to know you're okay. (Oh well, it's your Tumblr we're talking about, maybe "being okay" doesn't exactly cut it, but you get the gist.)
Best, L
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hailqiqi · 5 years
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2019 Fic Round-Up
Writer buddies, let’s do this (as in, if you haven’t yet, do yours too!)
Stats:
(I’m going with a random quote from each one because I’m a fan of long summaries.)
Fics Posted (Gen): 3
A Little Taste of What Should Have Been
And that was how Pidge found herself kneeling sideways on the couch, face inches away from Lance’s shoulder as he disinfected first two sewing needles and then the earrings with a professional air.
Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake!
“Okay, so you’ve been magically de-aged — because apparently that’s a thing. Why is that a thing? Whatever. Of course it’s a thing out here."
Here
“Don’t make it weird, Lance,” she huffed, already tugging him into the room and closing the door behind them. “C’mon. I’ll help you wash all that off.”
Fics Posted (Plance Oneshots): 7
2 x 100 word drabbles
(Domestic Fantasy & Kabedon)
The Advantages of Being Small
“I couldn’t help it! It was just too tempting!”
Untangle to Wait, Unravel to See
Of course a fortune teller would appear as soon as he started talking about one. They were on a magical world with magical aliens and Lance was like, the hero of the story, so it made sense that events would be tied to his dialogue. Most importantly, it was not creepy at all, and anyone who said Lance was creeped out could go suck it.
the world is out there, my dear, but we're in here
Pidge froze. The reaction was so subtle that Lance would have missed it if he hadn't been watching for it -- she relaxed herself almost immediately, eyebrows raised in casual challenge -- but she'd reacted, all the same.
so it turns out I kinda missed you
Grumbling, Lance crossed his arms and sunk back into his seat. “I could’ve come to get her on my own, you know.” “Yeah, but then you wouldn’t be able to make out in the back seat on the way home.”
The Stars Aren't the Same for You and I
Dancing with Pidge was fun.
Fics Posted (Plance Chaptered): 2 (1.5?)
Skirting Katabasis
"So... Do you think you could put it back together?" Pidge tilted the tablet towards her and looked at him hard. His expression was hesitant, but his eyes were soft...almost pleading. She smirked. "Who do you think I am, Keith?”
The Future in Snippets (Chapters 3-5)
In truth, she had no idea what was fine. Her brain had switched off several heartbeats ago, but she couldn’t really find it in herself to care.
Fics Posted (Plance Collabs): 2
Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love (even chapters)
The prince doesn’t ignore the princess for the nerdy sidekick. Even if that sidekick was a badass fighter who’d saved his life countless times. Or a genius who constantly left his head spinning. Or totally into the same video games that defined Lance’s childhood, and the owner of a smile so blinding it made the stars look dim.
(shoutout to @sp4c3-0ddity​, my co-conspirator who made Pidge’s star so bright!)
It's Beginning to Look a Lot like A Christmas Carol  (Prologue & Chap 1)
“An intervention?” “Sure. Have you ever seen A Christmas Carol?” His mind freezes. “You mean the Dickens book?” “Uh…” Keith’s dad trails off, blinking. “No, the movie. With the little green man? I think they made a version with the grouchy duck, too.”
(shoutout to the awesome @rueitae​ and @sp4c3-0ddity​ who brought both the crack and the tears essential items for any Christmas party all we’re missing is the food fight and divorce)
Total Fics Posted: 14
Oooh wow. That’s more than one a month!
 Ship/Character Breakdown:
Ship Breakdown: Plance, with over 75%
[colleen image]
Character Breakdown: Pidge and Lance are in 100% of my fics. Hunk is next in 5 (with 1 POV!), then Keith and Allura both get 3 (both even get POV parts and Keith’s a major focus in Skirting Katabasis), then Shiro, Coran and Lance/Pidge’s families are more bit players.
I only just realized that the chapter in Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love is the only time I’ve really written Shiro. And now I’m horrified because Shiro was my first love.
Characters that had the Main Focus: 6 +1 Lance POV, 4+2 Pidge POV, 2 Switching POV fics and then the drabbles don’t count.  I actually started out the year tearing my hair out because I related to Pidge so much more, but now I really enjoy writing Lance. It’s actually a little tricky to get into Pidge’s headspace to work on my chaptereds sometimes.
Specifics
 Best/Worst Title?
Best Skirting Katabasis. C’mon. That’s like, literary (Katabasis being hell or destruction in Greek mythos). Worst Untangle to Wait, Unravel to See. I had help with it but this fic was just so hard to name.
Best/worst last line?
Best I tend to structure my chapters/one-shots around the last line so…this is hard.
"What took you so long? I've been waiting for you."
(Untangle to Wait, Unravel to See)
My personal favourite, though, is from so it turns out I kinda missed you:
Luis laughed. “Hi, Not-My-Girlfriend. I’m Not-His-Brother, Luis.”
Worst
Hunk just laughed. “You can’t fix that right now, so you might as well have some fun!”
(Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake!) So cheesey.
The last line that gives me personal arghs is from Here:
He buried his face in her sodden hair and cried.
...because a day after posting I realised that I should’ve written wept, dammit, and now it annoys me every time I see it.
Honourable mention to The Advantages of Being Small for winning the no-context award:
“Reckon I could fit three fingers up there?”
 General Questions
 Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?
Way more than I thought!  I think I had planned out about 8? Of those I wrote two (zine fics), started but haven’t finished 2, and the other 4 are still pending.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?
None, my obsessions are long-lasting and constant.
What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.
Skirting Katabasis or It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like A Christmas Carol. Though TBH I enjoy re-reading most of the stuff I posted in the last 6 months.
Okay, NOW your most popular story.
In every single metric on AO3 it’s The Future in Snippets. Y’all like your porn (even if there’s not much of it).
On tumblr it’s Wriggle, Jiggle, Bake! by like 100 notes.
Story most underappreciated by the universe?
If this is a roundabout way of saying ‘What’s your LEAST popular story?’ it’s The Advantages of Being Small, but TBH that’s a very short crack-ficlet so it doesn’t bother me (same with the drabbles).
If the question is “What fic do you think people should like MORE?” the answer is Skirting Katabasis. It’s fifth on the list for bookmarks and 9th for Kudos, and I’m not sure why?? Does it sound too gen? Do you not like Platonic Adventure Kidge? Honestly y’all are missing out it’s like the best thing I’ve ever written. Hands down.
Story that could have been better?
The Future in Snippets. Hands down. It was started on a whim, as a practice fic for another idea I’ve been nurturing for even longer, and back when I was newer at this writing thing. It wasn’t very tightly plotted – in fact the plot was expanded upon and changed multiple times before I settled on what I have now, several chapters in – and certain things that should have been seeded were left out of earlier chapters because I wasn’t experienced enough to figure out how to work them in and foolishly thought ‘oh, it won’t matter! Such a small detail!’, so now I’m scratching my head trying to figure out how to compensate.
I tend to work off very tight outlines, but Snippets was missing that for a large part of the process and I think it shows. I do think I’ve done a good job nailing the emotion in it, though, and that’s like 95% of the fic so as long as I keep that up it’ll all be fine.
Sexiest story?
The Future in Snippets is smut so… First place for SFW sexy goes to the world is out there, my dear, but we’re in here.
Saddest story?
I think The Stars Aren’t the Same for You and I wins because it’s a heartbreaking situation with no good resolution. There’s no comfort to be found there.
Most fun?
A Little Taste of What Should Have Been. It’s just…fun!
The most fun I had writing was Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love, because it was challenging, and I’d wake up every day excited to find out what had happened in the last chapter overnight.
Story with single sweetest moment?
The Future in Snippets (Chapter 4) 
“Um…” She turned the brush in her hands over again before holding it up sheepishly. “Do you remember how you said you’d braid my hair?”
Lance’s whole face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really?!”
A giggle escaped her lips and she smiled, nodding. “Really.”
Hardest story to write?
The Future in Snippets. The emotions in this fic have become a convoluted mess and it is growing exponentially harder to write as I continue. I simply don’t have the level of skill required, but by God I will find it so that I can finish it properly.
Easiest/most fun story to write?
Skirting Katabasis!  The outline for this fic is tight, and I freaking love writing this fic. Like I just feel like smiling the whole process. I don’t know why. It feels like the wrong answer because it’s a fairly involved fic, but I just enjoy everything about it.
Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?
Smack, Kiss, Fall in Love actually gave me a much better understanding of Lance. Skirting Katabasis made me really look at Keith and realise that hey – the dude is actually very emotional, very chatty, and very soft (he’s so often typecast as the ‘moody loner’ because that’s what they call him in the show but he really doesn’t act like that).
Most overdue story?
Uh. The Future in Snippets was originally scheduled to be finished in January 2018, so… I also have a soulmate WIP which was meant to be for V-Day 2018.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
I started to play about with other POVs, and discovered that I can write other POVs? I also did two collabs!  The first one I discovered that Reem really is a sweetheart, and with the second I discovered that either I’m really bossy or really persuasive or both maybe I should go into politics.
I also did a couple of events and zines and exchanges. I discovered that piece-writing – like writing with a target/deadline/outside expectation – does not agree with me, and I will no longer sign up for events/zines/exchanges.
What are your fic writing goals for next year?
1.     Finish my WIPs.
2.     Write my Pidge Makes Bad Decisions fic!
3.     That’s about it really. Can you take over the world by writing fic? If so, that’s going on the list.
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